WEBVTT
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On December 1st, 1942, nationwide gasoline rationing began across the
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United States, part of the wartime effort to conserve tires
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and scarce rubber. That same day, Jack Benny joined Eddie Cantor,
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George Burns, and Gracie Allen for this public service broadcast
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from the world of the Jack Benny program. Dinah Shore
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is heard in song, Bill Goodwin is at the announcer's microphone,
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and Paul Whiteman and his orchestra provide the music. The
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Special Mileage Rationing Program uses comedy and music to encourage
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fuel conservation and compliance with the new regulations, including a
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Burns and Allen segment concerning the rubber shortage. Here now
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is Jack Benny and Company in 1942. And now, our
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story begins.
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This is Bill Goodwin speaking.
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From Hollywood, we present Jack Benny, Eddie Cantor, George Burns
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and Gracie Allen, Dinah Shore, the music of Paul Whiteman.
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Now come with us backstage to one of Hollywood's.
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Big radio studios. Eddie Cantor is calmly rehearsing a broadcast.
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Quiet!
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Quiet! Quiet!
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Quiet, Union!
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Quiet!
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Paul, can't the musicians tune those things at home? Do
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they have to do it here on my time? Not
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that I mind the money, but the union says if
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they stay over time, I have to give them coffee.
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And who's got that kind of money? Mr.
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Cantor, would you like to have me run over my number?
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Oh, yes, Dinah.
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You'd better do it right now, because Jack Benny is
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waiting to ride home with me.
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All right.
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Eddie, can't we go pretty soon? I'm getting a little
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tired of waiting.
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Just a couple more minutes, Jack.
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Gee, if I'd known it would take this long, I'd
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have had Rochester hitch up Leona and come after me.
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Jack, look, it won't hurt for you to wait a
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few minutes.
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But I've been waiting for a ride home since last Sunday. Besides,
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you're supposed to drive me home. I'm in your carpool.
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Don't you remember? Wednesday, you drive me home. Thursday, Bing Crosby. Friday,
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Kate Smith takes me home.
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Saturday... Wait a minute, wait a minute. Kate Smith is
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in New York.
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All right, so it's a little out of her way. Anyway,
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next George Burns drives me home, and then it's your
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turn again.
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Jack, when is it your turn? When do you give
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me a lift?
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You mean you've forgotten?
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Forgotten what?
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The night I drove you and your whole family to
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the fights.
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You drove us to the fights?
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How do you like that he doesn't remember? How can
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you forget it? The night Dempsey lost his titles.
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But, Jack, that was 16 years ago. I can't remember it.
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You don't remember all your daughters piling in the back seat? Why,
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Janet was just a baby. You held her on your lap.
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Now I remember.
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You let her ride for half fare.
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I remember that.
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He didn't even remember. How quickly friends forget favors. Drove
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his whole family. He's forgotten.
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Jack, I remember it now. Even though it was 16
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years ago.
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Can't get over it. You do a friend a favor,
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the next minute he's forgotten.
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I haven't forgotten it. I even remember that Ida packed
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a box of sandwiches for our lunch. During the fight,
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you got so excited, you sold them.
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Doesn't even remember. His whole family piled my car. That's
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what first broke down my Maxwell. That's a short memory
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he's got.
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Oh, Jack, I remember it. Believe me, I remember it.
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It was my daughter's birthday, the oldest one. What's her name?
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Starts with an M. You know, the oldest one.
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Thank you.
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One of my oldest, dearest friends. He doesn't remember. How
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can you forget? Tunney was brilliant that night.
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I know he was, Jack. In fact, I bet on
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Tunney and you bet on Dempsey. We bet ten dollars.
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That reminds me. You never paid me.
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I didn't? No. How can you expect me to remember
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something that happened 16 years ago? You think I am
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an elephant? Goodness, it didn't happen yesterday. I have other
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things to think about. Oh, go ahead, Dinah.
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Let's hear your song. What are you going to sing?
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White Christmas. Let's have it, darling.
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He doesn't remember.
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Of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used
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to know Where the treetops glisten And children listen To
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hear sleigh bells in the snow I'm dreaming of a
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white Christmas with every Christmas card around. And may all
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your Christmas cells be white.
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I'm dreaming.
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With every Christmas.
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Card I write, may your days be merry and bright.
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That was swell, Dinah. Eddie, are you ready to drive
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me home now?
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Sure, Jack.
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Fine, I'll get my hat.
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Just as soon as I rehearse Susie.
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You have to rehearse Susie? You've been singing that for years.
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Well, not so long. I sang it first the night
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of the fight.
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That was a different fight. You sang that the night
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John L. Sullivan won his title.
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That's right. That's another ten you owe me.
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All right, Eddie, let's go. I haven't been home since Sunday.
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Right after this number.
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All right, Paul, let's go.
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If you knew Susie like I know Susie.
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Oh, oh, oh, what a girl. All right, Paul. All right,
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all right, all right, all right.
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No, Paul, no, Paul. That's the way we'll do it, Paul.
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That's the way we'll do it. Only on the air
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I won't coast. I'll put some pep into it. You
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know what I mean?
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You want pep? I can't understand it. I know he's
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older than I am.
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Come on, Eddie.
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Let's go home.
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I've been waiting for days now.
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A few more minutes won't hurt you. Maybe some of
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the other boys want to ride my car. Remember, Jack,
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we've got mileage rationing.
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Oh, hello, Eddie.
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Have you seen.
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Well, Jack, Benny, so here you are. I've been looking
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all over for you.
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For me, Gracie? Well, sure.
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You haven't been home since Sunday, and Mary is practically
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a wreck. She's been waiting for you in your apartment,
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and she hasn't had a bite of food for three days.
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She really? Poor kid, I'm terribly sorry.
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Well, you ought to be. You went away and forgot
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to leave the key to your icebox.
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Gosh, that's right. I took all the keys with me. Mary,
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she couldn't even turn the lights on and read.
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I really think you better go right home, Jack.
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I will, Gracie, as soon as Eddie finishes this rehearsal.
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Well, why do you have to wait for him?
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Well, you see, mileage rationing is here now, Gracie, and
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Jack wants to do his share, so he's pooling my car.
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Oh, don't make it sound so one-sided. You know darn
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well I'm pooling my horse, and you're in on that.
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Yeah, but look how you've arranged it. Pippa McGee sits
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on her neck, Crosby is behind him. You sit in
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the saddle.
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George Burns is behind you, and then comes Edgar Bergen.
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Where am I?
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You're behind Bergen. Leona has a very strong tail.
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Some pool.
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Well, I don't understand all this. What are you boys
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talking about, anyway?
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Gracie, haven't you heard that gasoline is being rationed?
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Well, of course I know gasoline is being rationed. My goodness,
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what do you take me for, a dunce? I've read
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all about it. You're only allowed one cup a day.
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Gracie, that's coffee.
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Oh, Eddie, don't be silly. A car won't run on coffee.
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No, no.
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Gracie, I don't think you understand. You see, cars run
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on gasoline. So at this point, gasoline has to be rationed.
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But why?
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There's plenty of gasoline.
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I know, but the real reason for cutting down on
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the amount of gasoline we use is to save rubber.
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Oh, really?
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Well, that's very interesting. I had no idea gasoline was
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made from rubber.
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It isn't, you see.
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But I had the impression that gasoline came out of
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wells in the ground.
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That's right.
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And I've often thought how convenient it was for the
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filling stations that those wells were always found under the
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busiest street corners.
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Jack, you try it.
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Gracie, look. What they're really rationing is mileage. See, the
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less we drive our cars, the more rubber we save.
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And the rubber we save is vital to essential industries
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and to the Army.
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The Army?
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Uses rubber? Sure.
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Gee, wouldn't you think with all the modern weapons that
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soldiers wouldn't have to use slingshots?
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Gracie, the Army doesn't use rubber for slingshots.
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No?
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No.
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Rubber cushions for the parachute troops in Egypt?
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No.
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What?
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In case they come down on those pyramids.
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You take it, Eddie.
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Gracie, let's take... this from a different angle.
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The American people are doing everything possible to save the
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rubber on their tires.
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That's why there's a rule that regulates how fast we
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can drive.
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Oh, I know.
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I've been obeying the rule. Of course, it is a
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little discouraging to drive to the dairy for a bottle
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of milk and then have the milk turn sour before
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I get home.
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Why should the milk turn sour?
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Well, because I leave for the dairy in the morning
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and I don't get home until the following night.
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How far is this dairy from your house?
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A mile. A mile?
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Well, yeah, you know what the law says. You have
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to drive a mile in 35 hours.
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No, Gracie, you have to drive 35 miles an hour.
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Well, what did I say?
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Take a jack.
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Gracie, people who travel faster than 35 miles per hour
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are liable to lose this war.
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Oh, now I understand.
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Good.
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General Rommel is liable to lose.
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The war, huh? Eddie, you want it?
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No, keep it.
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All right. Gracie, let's forget about the speed limit. Let's
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concentrate on the fact that we've got to get the
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absolute maximum service out of the tires now in our cars.
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We've got to rotate them. You know, switch them around.
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Oh, well, I did that. I put my front tires
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on the back and my back tires on the front.
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Because now I have an awful stiff neck.
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From what?
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Well, it's very hard to keep your eyes on the
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road while you're driving in reverse.
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Eddie, Eddie, I insist that you take it.
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Okay, okay.
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Gracie, there's one way of saving rubber that you must
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be able to understand, and that is carpooling.
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That means sharing rides with the people who live in
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your neighborhood.
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Oh, yes.
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My girlfriend, Tootsie Sagwell, does that. She's the one who
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isn't married and lives in a tent.
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I know I'm a sucker for asking you, but why
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does she live in a tent?
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Well, because you can pitch a tent in different neighborhoods
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every day. And if she wants, she can share rides
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with Robert Taylor or Walter Pigeon, Cary Grant, Ray Milan,
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Robert Young.
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Never mind.
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Never mind.
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Jack, I just took her.
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Take her again.
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You take her. Not me. Somebody's got to take her.
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Hello, boys. Hello, George.
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George?
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Gee, you fellas act glad to see me.
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We are.
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You're just in time to take away a headache.
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Whose?
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Yours. I don't get it.
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Hello, George.
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Now I get it, now.
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Look, George.
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George, we've been trying to explain mileage rationing to Gracie.
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And you're having trouble?
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No, no.
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No, we're all right.
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She just doesn't know what we're talking about.
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That's all. Look, fellow, just leave it to me. Come here.
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I want to whisper something to you.
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All right, dear.
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Say about it. Oh, that's still.
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Oh, well, I better tell the boys. Boys, do you
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know that there's a shortage of rubber in this country?
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No.
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Oh, yes, a critical shortage. So we all have to conserve. Remember,
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rubber won't stretch if you haven't got any. And the
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best way to say rubber is to ration mileage. And
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the best way to ration mileage is to ration gasoline,
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even in sections where there's no shortage of gasoline. You see,
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it's a national problem, so we've got.
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To treat it nationally.
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That's right, Gracie.
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Of course it's got to be an inconvenience, but after all,
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what's an inconvenience when we weigh it against possible calamity? Remember,
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rationing still provides essential gasoline for essential driving. Pleasure car
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drivers get A-cards, and that's all. But nobody in America
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has lost his job because he wasn't given enough gasoline
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to get to work. So let's remember this. If we
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want this country to keep operating, we've all got to
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keep co-operating.
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Why, Gracie, that is wonderful.
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George, tell us one thing. What did you whisper to Gracie?
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Well, come here, fellas.
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I'll whisper to you. I said, tell him it's my homicide, too.
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Oh, I see.
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This concludes the 1942 special mileage rationing program with Jack Benny.
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Until our next meeting at the microphone, good night. Follow
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Old Time Comedy Radio for more classic comedy broadcasts.
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On December 1st, 1942, nationwide gasoline rationing began across the
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United States, part of the wartime effort to conserve tires
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and scarce rubber. That same day, Jack Benny joined Eddie Cantor,
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George Burns, and Gracie Allen for this public service broadcast
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from the world of the Jack Benny program. Dinah Shore
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is heard in song, Bill Goodwin is at the announcer's microphone,
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and Paul Whiteman and his orchestra provide the music. The
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Special Mileage Rationing Program uses comedy and music to encourage
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fuel conservation and compliance with the new regulations, including a
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Burns and Allen segment concerning the rubber shortage. Here now
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is Jack Benny and Company in 1942. And now, our
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story begins.
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This is Bill Goodwin speaking.
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From Hollywood, we present Jack Benny, Eddie Cantor, George Burns
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and Gracie Allen, Dinah Shore, the music of Paul Whiteman.
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Now come with us backstage to one of Hollywood's.
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Big radio studios. Eddie Cantor is calmly rehearsing a broadcast.
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Quiet!
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Quiet! Quiet!
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Quiet, Union!
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Quiet!
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Paul, can't the musicians tune those things at home? Do
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they have to do it here on my time? Not
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that I mind the money, but the union says if
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they stay over time, I have to give them coffee.
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And who's got that kind of money? Mr.
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Cantor, would you like to have me run over my number?
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Oh, yes, Dinah.
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You'd better do it right now, because Jack Benny is
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waiting to ride home with me.
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All right.
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Eddie, can't we go pretty soon? I'm getting a little
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tired of waiting.
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Just a couple more minutes, Jack.
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Gee, if I'd known it would take this long, I'd
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have had Rochester hitch up Leona and come after me.
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Jack, look, it won't hurt for you to wait a
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few minutes.
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But I've been waiting for a ride home since last Sunday. Besides,
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you're supposed to drive me home. I'm in your carpool.
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Don't you remember? Wednesday, you drive me home. Thursday, Bing Crosby. Friday,
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Kate Smith takes me home.
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Saturday... Wait a minute, wait a minute. Kate Smith is
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in New York.
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All right, so it's a little out of her way. Anyway,
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next George Burns drives me home, and then it's your
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turn again.
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Jack, when is it your turn? When do you give
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me a lift?
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You mean you've forgotten?
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Forgotten what?
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The night I drove you and your whole family to
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the fights.
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You drove us to the fights?
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How do you like that he doesn't remember? How can
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you forget it? The night Dempsey lost his titles.
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But, Jack, that was 16 years ago. I can't remember it.
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You don't remember all your daughters piling in the back seat? Why,
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Janet was just a baby. You held her on your lap.
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Now I remember.
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You let her ride for half fare.
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I remember that.
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He didn't even remember. How quickly friends forget favors. Drove
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his whole family. He's forgotten.
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Jack, I remember it now. Even though it was 16
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years ago.
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Can't get over it. You do a friend a favor,
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the next minute he's forgotten.
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I haven't forgotten it. I even remember that Ida packed
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a box of sandwiches for our lunch. During the fight,
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you got so excited, you sold them.
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Doesn't even remember. His whole family piled my car. That's
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what first broke down my Maxwell. That's a short memory
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he's got.
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Oh, Jack, I remember it. Believe me, I remember it.
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It was my daughter's birthday, the oldest one. What's her name?
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Starts with an M. You know, the oldest one.
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Thank you.
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One of my oldest, dearest friends. He doesn't remember. How
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can you forget? Tunney was brilliant that night.
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I know he was, Jack. In fact, I bet on
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Tunney and you bet on Dempsey. We bet ten dollars.
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That reminds me. You never paid me.
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I didn't? No. How can you expect me to remember
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something that happened 16 years ago? You think I am
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an elephant? Goodness, it didn't happen yesterday. I have other
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things to think about. Oh, go ahead, Dinah.
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Let's hear your song. What are you going to sing?
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White Christmas. Let's have it, darling.
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He doesn't remember.
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Of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used
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to know Where the treetops glisten And children listen To
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hear sleigh bells in the snow I'm dreaming of a
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white Christmas with every Christmas card around. And may all
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your Christmas cells be white.
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I'm dreaming.
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With every Christmas.
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Card I write, may your days be merry and bright.
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That was swell, Dinah. Eddie, are you ready to drive
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me home now?
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Sure, Jack.
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Fine, I'll get my hat.
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Just as soon as I rehearse Susie.
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You have to rehearse Susie? You've been singing that for years.
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Well, not so long. I sang it first the night
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of the fight.
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That was a different fight. You sang that the night
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John L. Sullivan won his title.
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That's right. That's another ten you owe me.
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All right, Eddie, let's go. I haven't been home since Sunday.
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Right after this number.
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All right, Paul, let's go.
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If you knew Susie like I know Susie.
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Oh, oh, oh, what a girl. All right, Paul. All right,
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all right, all right, all right.
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No, Paul, no, Paul. That's the way we'll do it, Paul.
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That's the way we'll do it. Only on the air
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I won't coast. I'll put some pep into it. You
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know what I mean?
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You want pep? I can't understand it. I know he's
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older than I am.
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Come on, Eddie.
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Let's go home.
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I've been waiting for days now.
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A few more minutes won't hurt you. Maybe some of
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the other boys want to ride my car. Remember, Jack,
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we've got mileage rationing.
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Oh, hello, Eddie.
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Have you seen.
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Well, Jack, Benny, so here you are. I've been looking
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all over for you.
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For me, Gracie? Well, sure.
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You haven't been home since Sunday, and Mary is practically
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a wreck. She's been waiting for you in your apartment,
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and she hasn't had a bite of food for three days.
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She really? Poor kid, I'm terribly sorry.
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Well, you ought to be. You went away and forgot
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to leave the key to your icebox.
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Gosh, that's right. I took all the keys with me. Mary,
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she couldn't even turn the lights on and read.
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I really think you better go right home, Jack.
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I will, Gracie, as soon as Eddie finishes this rehearsal.
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Well, why do you have to wait for him?
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Well, you see, mileage rationing is here now, Gracie, and
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Jack wants to do his share, so he's pooling my car.
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Oh, don't make it sound so one-sided. You know darn
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well I'm pooling my horse, and you're in on that.
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Yeah, but look how you've arranged it. Pippa McGee sits
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on her neck, Crosby is behind him. You sit in
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the saddle.
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George Burns is behind you, and then comes Edgar Bergen.
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Where am I?
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You're behind Bergen. Leona has a very strong tail.
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Some pool.
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Well, I don't understand all this. What are you boys
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talking about, anyway?
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Gracie, haven't you heard that gasoline is being rationed?
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Well, of course I know gasoline is being rationed. My goodness,
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what do you take me for, a dunce? I've read
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all about it. You're only allowed one cup a day.
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Gracie, that's coffee.
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Oh, Eddie, don't be silly. A car won't run on coffee.
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No, no.
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Gracie, I don't think you understand. You see, cars run
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on gasoline. So at this point, gasoline has to be rationed.
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But why?
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There's plenty of gasoline.
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I know, but the real reason for cutting down on
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the amount of gasoline we use is to save rubber.
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Oh, really?
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Well, that's very interesting. I had no idea gasoline was
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made from rubber.
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It isn't, you see.
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But I had the impression that gasoline came out of
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wells in the ground.
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That's right.
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And I've often thought how convenient it was for the
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filling stations that those wells were always found under the
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busiest street corners.
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Jack, you try it.
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00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:26.950
Gracie, look. What they're really rationing is mileage. See, the
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00:09:26.990 --> 00:09:29.210
less we drive our cars, the more rubber we save.
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And the rubber we save is vital to essential industries
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and to the Army.
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The Army?
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Uses rubber? Sure.
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Gee, wouldn't you think with all the modern weapons that
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soldiers wouldn't have to use slingshots?
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00:09:43.620 --> 00:09:46.200
Gracie, the Army doesn't use rubber for slingshots.
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No?
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No.
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Rubber cushions for the parachute troops in Egypt?
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00:09:50.299 --> 00:09:50.379
No.
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00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:51.519
What?
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00:09:52.120 --> 00:09:53.860
In case they come down on those pyramids.
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You take it, Eddie.
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00:09:59.029 --> 00:10:01.080
Gracie, let's take... this from a different angle.
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The American people are doing everything possible to save the
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rubber on their tires.
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00:10:04.909 --> 00:10:07.129
That's why there's a rule that regulates how fast we
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can drive.
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00:10:07.669 --> 00:10:08.149
Oh, I know.
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00:10:08.210 --> 00:10:10.429
I've been obeying the rule. Of course, it is a
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little discouraging to drive to the dairy for a bottle
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00:10:12.750 --> 00:10:14.629
of milk and then have the milk turn sour before
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I get home.
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Why should the milk turn sour?
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Well, because I leave for the dairy in the morning
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and I don't get home until the following night.
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How far is this dairy from your house?
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A mile. A mile?
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Well, yeah, you know what the law says. You have
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to drive a mile in 35 hours.
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No, Gracie, you have to drive 35 miles an hour.
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Well, what did I say?
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Take a jack.
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Gracie, people who travel faster than 35 miles per hour
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are liable to lose this war.
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Oh, now I understand.
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Good.
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General Rommel is liable to lose.
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The war, huh? Eddie, you want it?
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No, keep it.
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All right. Gracie, let's forget about the speed limit. Let's
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concentrate on the fact that we've got to get the
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absolute maximum service out of the tires now in our cars.
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We've got to rotate them. You know, switch them around.
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Oh, well, I did that. I put my front tires
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on the back and my back tires on the front.
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Because now I have an awful stiff neck.
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From what?
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Well, it's very hard to keep your eyes on the
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road while you're driving in reverse.
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Eddie, Eddie, I insist that you take it.
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Okay, okay.
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Gracie, there's one way of saving rubber that you must
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be able to understand, and that is carpooling.
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That means sharing rides with the people who live in
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your neighborhood.
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Oh, yes.
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My girlfriend, Tootsie Sagwell, does that. She's the one who
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isn't married and lives in a tent.
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I know I'm a sucker for asking you, but why
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does she live in a tent?
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Well, because you can pitch a tent in different neighborhoods
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every day. And if she wants, she can share rides
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with Robert Taylor or Walter Pigeon, Cary Grant, Ray Milan,
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Robert Young.
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Never mind.
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Never mind.
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Jack, I just took her.
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Take her again.
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You take her. Not me. Somebody's got to take her.
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Hello, boys. Hello, George.
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George?
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Gee, you fellas act glad to see me.
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We are.
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You're just in time to take away a headache.
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Whose?
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Yours. I don't get it.
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Hello, George.
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Now I get it, now.
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Look, George.
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George, we've been trying to explain mileage rationing to Gracie.
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And you're having trouble?
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No, no.
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No, we're all right.
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She just doesn't know what we're talking about.
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That's all. Look, fellow, just leave it to me. Come here.
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I want to whisper something to you.
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All right, dear.
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Say about it. Oh, that's still.
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Oh, well, I better tell the boys. Boys, do you
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know that there's a shortage of rubber in this country?
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No.
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Oh, yes, a critical shortage. So we all have to conserve. Remember,
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rubber won't stretch if you haven't got any. And the
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best way to say rubber is to ration mileage. And
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the best way to ration mileage is to ration gasoline,
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even in sections where there's no shortage of gasoline. You see,
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it's a national problem, so we've got.
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To treat it nationally.
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That's right, Gracie.
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Of course it's got to be an inconvenience, but after all,
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what's an inconvenience when we weigh it against possible calamity? Remember,
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rationing still provides essential gasoline for essential driving. Pleasure car
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drivers get A-cards, and that's all. But nobody in America
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has lost his job because he wasn't given enough gasoline
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to get to work. So let's remember this. If we
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want this country to keep operating, we've all got to
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keep co-operating.
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Why, Gracie, that is wonderful.
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George, tell us one thing. What did you whisper to Gracie?
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Well, come here, fellas.
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I'll whisper to you. I said, tell him it's my homicide, too.
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Oh, I see.
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This concludes the 1942 special mileage rationing program with Jack Benny.
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Until our next meeting at the microphone, good night. Follow
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Old Time Comedy Radio for more classic comedy broadcasts.
