Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning

11 اکتبر 2026 · رونوشت · یادداشت ها را نشان دهید

درباره این اپیزود

Phase 4 Launch: The Connection Loop — Perception, Emotion & Social Intelligence

In this episode Andrea Samadi launches Phase 4 of the Brain's Operating System for Human Performance, focusing on perception, emotion, and social intelligence. She introduces the Connection Loop as a roadmap for understanding how we see ourselves and others, how emotions shape interactions, and how Mindsight supports deeper listening and reflection.
Using a classroom story from Dr. Dan Siegel, Andrea draws four practical takeaways—expand your perception by listening, notice your inner reaction before responding, make room for individuality and belonging, and turn shared insight into action. She also presents the Third Energy framework to show how meaningful connections can create lasting contributions.
Listeners are invited to try one conversation with curiosity, check their assumptions, and take one follow-up action to translate understanding into change that influences classrooms, workplaces, and relationships.
EP 409 — Introducing Phase 4: The Connection Loop—Perception, Mindsight, and What We Create Together

Welcome back to Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast, where we bridge neuroscience, social and emotional learning, and human performance so we can create measurable improvements in our well-being, achievement, leadership, productivity, and results.
I’m Andrea Samadi, and today we officially launch Phase 4 of The Brain’s Operating System for Human Performance: (where we will cover) Perception, Emotion, and Social Intelligence. In this phase, we’ll explore how we see ourselves and others, how we understand and respond to emotions, and how these abilities shape our relationships, learning, leadership, and ultimately, our performance.
We have spent our first three phases exploring the foundations of individual capacity. Now, we bring those foundations into our relationships.
Because we can be regulated, motivated, and capable—and still misunderstand the person beside us.
We can enter a conversation intending to help and leave someone feeling unheard.
Or we can listen in a way that changes our understanding and opens a possibility we had not considered.
In this episode, we will:

✓ Review how our first three phases prepared us for this next step.
✓ Introduce the Connection Loop, our roadmap for exploring perception, emotion, relationships, belonging, and performance.
✓ Revisit a clip from Dr. Daniel Siegel about mindsight, identity, and connection.
✓ Turn the lessons from that clip into practical actions for classrooms, workplaces, and relationships.
✓ Introduce the Third Energy Framework—how the imprint of a meaningful relationship can become a contribution that reaches others and make a significant contribution to the world.
✓ Begin preparing for the upcoming Journey of the Mind workbook, planned to be released summer 2027, which will help us bring all five phases into a personal roadmap for growth.
As you listen today, keep one question in mind:
How can understanding another person change what I do next?
WHERE WE HAVE BEEN
In Phase 1—Regulation and Safety, we asked:
Is our nervous system regulated and safe enough to learn, connect, and perform?
We explored sleep, rhythm, breath, recovery, and relational safety—the conditions that support readiness for learning and life.
In Phase 2—Neurochemistry and Motivation, we asked:
What moves us to act—and what helps us sustain that action?
Through the Motivation Loop, we examined belief, attention, action, feedback, reward, and recovery.
Then, in Phase 3—Movement, Learning, and Cognition, we asked:
How do we build the physical and cognitive capacity required for learning and performance?
We explored how movement prepares us, attention supports learning, repetition strengthens skills, and recovery allows adaptation. We also considered nutrition and what our own observations and health data can tell us about capacity.
In Episode 408, we brought those lessons together and asked how to turn information into wisdom: how to use what we learn to make meaningful changes.
Together, these phases helped us explore how to regulate our system, sustain effort, and build capacity.
Phase 4 asks how we use that capacity to understand ourselves and connect with others.
INTRODUCING THE CONNECTION LOOP
With every interaction, with another person, we bring our own history, our own expectations, emotions, and ways of seeing the world.
The person across from us brings theirs.
Two people can experience the same conversation and leave with different interpretations.
One feels encouraged. The other feels pressured.
One thinks the conversation went well. The other leaves wondering whether it was safe to speak honestly.
That brings us to the central question of Phase 4:
How does the way we perceive ourselves and others shape emotion, relationships, learning, leadership, and performance?
Throughout this phase, we will explore a reflection framework I call the Connection Loop:
Perception → Affect → Emotion → Mindsight → Relationships → Belonging and Performance.
Today, we introduce this roadmap. Our upcoming episodes will help us examine its parts more deeply.
We begin with perception:
How am I interpreting what is happening?
Then we consider affect—how an experience feels:
Does this feel pleasant or unpleasant, calming or activating?
Someone’s tone might leave us feeling uneasy. A welcoming expression might help us feel comfortable.
We then explore emotion:
What emotional response am I experiencing? What is happening in my body, and what do I feel moved to do?
Recognizing and naming an emotion can help us understand that response.
Through mindsight, we ask:
Can I reflect on my own internal world while remaining curious about another person’s?
That awareness influences our relationships:
How will I listen, communicate, respond, or repair a misunderstanding?
And our interactions shape belonging and performance:
Can we participate, learn, contribute, and grow together?
These processes overlap and influence one another. The loop gives us a way to slow down an interaction and notice what we might otherwise overlook.
It also returns us to perception: what happens in one relationship can influence what we expect from the next.
Let’s begin with that starting point—how we see.
PERCEPTION: THE STARTING POINT
When I worked with Bob Proctor<a href='#_edn1'>[i]</a> in my late twenties, one lesson that stayed with me was the importance of examining a problem from more than one perspective.
He described writing a problem on a piece of paper and placing it in the middle of a table. This helped him step back and examine it more objectively.
He would then ask how someone he respected might approach it.
What would that person notice?
What questions would they ask?
What possibility might they see that he had overlooked?
To hear how he would work on his perception faculty, (perception is one of six our intellectual factors of our mind that we cover on EP 294<a href='#_edn2'>[ii]</a>) and how he was sure he was looking at a problem from all angles, watch this video here<a href='#_edn3'>[iii]</a> (perception is at 1:05) where he explains that if he had a problem he wanted to solve, he would write it on a piece of paper, and put the paper in the middle of the table and ask “is this problem in me, or is it on the paper?” and he works on the problem until it’s on the paper, and out of him. Then he can look at the problem “objectively, as a stranger might.” 
The part I loved the most, was that he would always challenge you to keep thinking, and would say next, “how would (author) Napoleon Hill look at this?” We covered Napoleon Hills famous Think and Grow Rich<a href='#_edn4'>[iv]</a> book on this podcast, and it amazes me to this day that Proctor studied this book for most of his life, and it shows, especially when it comes to his problem-solving abilities.
He said he “would attempt to get into Napoleon Hill’s energy and get his perception of it (his problem).” He would keep going with this process and would ask “how would Thomas Edison look at this problem” or “how would Henry Ford look at this?” And he would “mentally think, if I were them, how would I look at this?” Try this, if you want to CHANGE your perception of a problem you have. With this process (you might pick people who are leaders in your industry) you will eventually be able to see the opportunity in the problem if you can do this.
I still use this practice.
Recently, I considered a problem through the imagined perspective of someone I respect. Within minutes, I noticed an opportunity I had missed.
My circumstances had not immediately changed. My interpretation had.
I moved from feeling stuck to seeing a possible next step.
You can try this yourself. Choose a person whose judgment you value and ask:
How might they approach this situation?
That question may help you identify another explanation, an overlooked option, or a more useful response.
But when we bring this practice into relationships, there is another step.
Imagining another perspective can help us question our assumptions. Understanding a real person also requires listening to what they tell us.
We cannot assume that what we would feel in their position is what they actually feel.
Their experience may reveal something our own perspective cannot provide.
That is why we are opening Phase 4 with Dr. Daniel Siegel.
Although mindsight appears later in our Connection Loop, it helps us examine our starting point—perception.
It invites us to notice our interpretations, reflect on our reactions, and recognize that another person has an internal world we do not automatically understand.
INTRODUCING DR. SIEGEL’S CLIP
In our original Episode 28<a href='#_edn5'>[v]</a>, recorded in the first year of this podcast, Dr. Siegel joined us to discuss Mindsight: The Basis for Social and Emotional Intelligence.
During that conversation, he shared a story about eighth-grade students in Canada.
A Black student expressed feeling ashamed of having Black skin. His white classmates asked why, and the discussion opened into questions about racism in Canada and around the world.
This is a painful experience to share. It raises a question for anyone who teaches, leads, parents, or works with others:
How do we respond when someone reveals an experience we have not lived?
As you listen, notice how Siegel describes the depth of the students’ discussion and collaboration.
He uses the term MWE, bringing together me and we—our individuality and our interconnectedness.
Listen for what becomes possible when learning includes understanding one another.
<a href='https://www.youtube.com/shorts/MG7X3K3INUw'>[PLAY DR. DANIEL SIEGEL CLIP: CANADIAN STUDENTS, RACISM, AND “MWE”] Watch Video Clip Here</a>
WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THIS STORY?
What stands out to me is that this conversation begins with an experience the students do not all share.
One student expresses a painful feeling. His classmates have an opportunity to listen and examine something they might otherwise have missed.
Dr. Siegel describes the depth of their discussion and collaboration. His story invites us to consider learning that includes how we understand and participate with one another.
We do not know every student’s internal response or what happened afterward. But we can use the story to reflect on our own interactions.
Here are four takeaways—and ways to put them into action.
TAKEAWAY ONE: ANOTHER PERSON’S EXPERIENCE CAN EXPAND OUR PERCEPTION
We each interpret the world through the lens of our experience.
When someone describes something unfamiliar, we have an opportunity to recognize what our own lens may leave out.
In Siegel’s story, the student shares an experience his classmates have not lived. Their discussion creates an opportunity to explore that difference.
The question for us is:
What might this person help me understand that I have not seen before?
Put this into action:
In your next difficult conversation, pause before explaining your position.
Ask:
“Can you help me understand what that experience was like for you?”
Listen before offering advice or comparing their experience to your own.
Then check your interpretation:
“What I’m hearing is that you felt overlooked. Have I understood that correctly?”
In a classroom, offer opportunities to share without asking any student to represent an entire racial, cultural, or social group.
In a workplace, ask whose experience is missing from a decision.
At home, remember that two people can experience the same event differently.
The practice is to leave the conversation understanding something you did not understand when you entered it.
TAKEAWAY TWO: MINDSIGHT INCLUDES NOTICING OURSELVES
Understanding another person also involves noticing what is happening within us. Self-awareness, or to know thyself, we covered on EP 2<a href='#_edn6'>[vi]</a> on this podcast. It was definitely the starting point when I was creating our podcast roadmap.
When someone challenges our perspective, we may feel uncomfortable, defensive, or eager to explain ourselves.
Those responses can influence what we hear—and what we miss.
Mindsight invites us to ask:
What am I feeling?
What am I assuming?
Am I listening to understand, or preparing my response?
Later, in Episode 414 with Dan Hill, we will explore how facial expressions can offer emotional clues. Those clues may help us ask better questions; context and conversation remain essential.
Put this into action:
Use three steps: pause, notice, ask.
Pause before responding.
Notice your reaction privately:
“I’m feeling defensive.”
“I want to explain myself.”
“This challenges something I believed.”
Then ask a question:
“I may be missing something. Can you tell me more?”
Before giving your perspective, summarize what you heard and invite correction.
This creates room for a more thoughtful response.
TAKEAWAY THREE: MWE MAKES ROOM FOR INDIVIDUALITY AND BELONGING
Siegel’s idea of MWE brings me and we together.
Each person has a distinct history, identity, and voice.
Belonging includes being heard, respected, and involved while remaining ourselves.
The question is:
Can each person participate without having to hide an important part of their experience?
Put this into action:
In a classroom, team meeting, or family discussion, ask:
“Have we made room for everyone who wants to contribute?”
“What would help you participate?”
Offer different ways to contribute: speaking, writing, reflecting first, or following up privately.
When someone shares a difficult experience, ask:
“What support would be useful?”
If the conversation reveals discrimination or exclusion, identify what needs to change and follow through.
Leaders have a responsibility to take concerns seriously, address disrespect, and change practices that prevent participation.
Group members can invite input without pressure, respect differences, and notice whose ideas are being overlooked.
The person who feels excluded can, when safe and willing, share their experience and identify support that would help. They should not have to prove that their pain matters or fix the environment themselves.
Listening begins the response. Action and follow-up help us determine whether the conditions have improved.
TAKEAWAY FOUR: COLLABORATION CAN EXPAND WHAT WE UNDERSTAND
Siegel describes the depth and creativity of the students’ discussion.
His story invites us to consider performance that includes our ability to listen, learn from differences, and contribute to shared work.
We can ask:
What became possible because we learned together?
Put this into action:
After a shared task or meaningful discussion, reflect on both the result and the interaction.
“What did we accomplish?”
“Which perspective expanded our thinking?”
“Did everyone have a meaningful opportunity to contribute?”
“What will we do differently because of what we learned?”
Choose one change for the next interaction. Invite input earlier, check an assumption, or give people more time to respond.
Then ask whether that change helped.
This is how shared understanding begins to influence future behavior.
BRINGING THE FOUR TAKEAWAYS TOGETHER
Dr. Siegel’s clip gives us four practices to carry into Phase 4:
✓ Listen for what your perspective may be missing.
✓ Notice your own response before deciding how to respond.
✓ Create belonging that makes room for individual differences.
✓ Turn shared understanding into a change in how you work together.
These practices bring our Connection Loop into everyday life:
Perception → Affect → Emotion → Mindsight → Relationships → Belonging and Performance.
And when something we learn through a connection changes what we contribute afterward, we now begin to explore what I call, the Third Energy:
FROM THE CONNECTION LOOP TO THE THIRD ENERGY
Siegel’s story shows us the possibilities that can open when people listen, reflect, and learn together.
It also leaves us with a question:
What happens when the conversation ends—and the influence continues?
Someone’s experience may change our perspective. That understanding may then shape how we teach, lead, support others, or respond to injustice.
This brings us to an idea I call the Third Energy Framework.

The Third Energy is the new possibility that emerges when two people intentionally connect, grow, and contribute together—creating something that continues to grow beyond each individual.
I call it “third” because each person brings something into the relationship, and through their connection, something new can emerge.
I use “energy” as a metaphor for the inspiration, creativity, and possibility that meaningful connection can awaken.
This is my reflection framework. Siegel’s story helps us explore connection and shared understanding; the Third Energy asks what we might carry forward afterward.
Although the graphic begins with two individuals, we can also consider these possibilities within a group.
Every significant relationship leaves an imprint. The Third Energy is the lasting contribution that emerges from that imprint.
An imprint might be a changed perspective, greater confidence, or an insight we remember years later.
The contribution takes shape when we use that influence to make something possible for others.
The framework follows six stages:
Two Individuals → Meaningful Connection → Mutual Growth → Shared Insight → Contribution → Collective Ripple.
THE SIX STAGES OF THE THIRD ENERGY FRAMEWORK
ONE: TWO INDIVIDUALS—WHAT EACH PERSON BRINGS
Each person brings experiences, perspectives, strengths, and hopes.
In Siegel’s story, the students enter the discussion with different lived experiences. Recognizing those differences gives us a starting point.
What do we each bring—and what might we learn from one another?
TWO: MEANINGFUL CONNECTION—HOW WE LISTEN
Curiosity, attentive listening, and honest conversation can create conditions for meaningful connection.
In the classroom story, a student’s experience becomes part of a shared discussion.
Are we giving what someone shares thoughtful attention?
THREE: MUTUAL GROWTH—HOW WE EXPAND ONE ANOTHER
A connection may help us question an assumption, develop confidence, or consider a different approach.
Growth can look different for each person, and we should not assume what someone gained from an interaction.
The classroom conversation offers an opportunity for students to reconsider what they understand about identity, racism, and connection.
What is this exchange helping us reconsider or understand?
FOUR: SHARED INSIGHT—WHAT WE DISCOVER TOGETHER
Through conversation, a new understanding or possibility may emerge.
Siegel’s idea of MWE offers one way to reflect on the story: individuality and interconnectedness can be held together.
What are we beginning to understand through this exchange?
FIVE: CONTRIBUTION—HOW INSIGHT BECOMES ACTION
This stage asks what we do with that understanding.
We do not know what the students did afterward. We can, however, consider possible actions: challenging racism, changing a classroom practice, or responding more thoughtfully when someone shares a painful experience.
What will we create, share, or change because of what we learned?
SIX: COLLECTIVE RIPPLE—HOW OTHERS CARRY IT FORWARD
A contribution may reach beyond the original relationship.
Someone uses an idea, adapts a practice, or carries a lesson into another setting.
We can see one example here: Siegel shared this story with me, I am revisiting it with you, and you may bring a lesson from it into your own classroom, workplace, or relationships.
Its further influence depends on what we choose to do.
Who could benefit—and what might they carry forward?
The imprint is what stays with us. The contribution is what we do with it. The ripple is how others carry it forward.
REVIEW AND CONCLUSION:
To review and conclude this week’s EP 409, Introduction to Phase 4 of our Brain’s Operating System, we introduced three connected ideas.
The Connection Loop is our roadmap for exploring how we perceive, feel, understand, and relate.
Dr. Siegel’s classroom story helped us consider how listening can expand perception and make room for individuality, belonging, and collaborative learning.
The Third Energy Framework asked what we might contribute and make a greater impact outside of ourselves, because of that understanding.
You do not need to remember every stage today. Begin with one conversation and one action.
Before the conversation, ask:
What am I assuming?
During it, ask:
What does this person want me to understand?
Notice your own response, listen, and check your interpretation:
“Have I understood you correctly?”
Afterward, ask:
What did I learn—and what will I do because of it?
Choose one action: offer support, follow up, repair a misunderstanding, or change a practice that prevents participation.
Then record:
What I assumed. What I learned. What I changed. What happened next.
These reflections will help prepare us in the future, when we will bring all five phases together through:
Understand → Reflect → Apply → Measure → Become.
With repeated practice, we can build a personal roadmap grounded in what actually helps us grow.
CONCLUSION
Our journey began with regulation and safety, moved into motivation, and then explored how we build capacity.
Now, Phase 4 brings that capacity into connection.
How does the way I perceive and respond to another person shape what becomes possible between us?
This week, notice one assumption. Give someone room to share their experience. Let what you learn inform one action.
A conversation may change how we see.
That changed perspective may influence how we teach, lead, or support someone else.
And what we contribute may become something others carry forward.
That is the possibility we will explore through the Third Energy.
Think of one person who changed how you see the world.
What did they help you understand—and what could you offer someone else because of it?
Thank you for joining me for Episode 409 and the launch of Phase 4: Perception, Emotion, and Social Intelligence.
Next, in Episode 410, we will revisit Lucy Biven to explore affect, emotion, and the brain’s core emotional systems.
Until then, choose one conversation. Listen with curiosity. Check your understanding.
 
And REMEMBER: What we learn from one another becomes part of who we become. Carry one lesson forward through action.
 
See you next time.
 
Phase 4 Roadmap:
409<a href='#_edn7'>[vii]</a> — Daniel Siegel
Mindsight: understanding our inner world and the minds of others
410<a href='#_edn8'>[viii]</a> — Lucy Biven
The emotional foundations of the brain
411<a href='#_edn9'>[ix]</a> — Marc Brackett
Recognizing, understanding, and regulating emotions
412<a href='#_edn10'>[x]</a> — Greg Wolcott
Developing our discussion of perception and human performance
413<a href='#_edn11'>[xi]</a> — Lori Desautels & Michael McKnight
Applying nervous system awareness to relationships and learning
414<a href='#_edn12'>[xii]</a> — Dan Hill
Reading emotional signals and facial expressions
415<a href='#_edn13'>[xiii]</a> — Mary Helen Immordino-Yang
How emotion and social meaning shape learning
 
REFERENCES:
 
<a href='#_ednref1'>[i]</a> Bob Proctor on the Six Higher Faculties of the Mind (Perception 1:05) <a href='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyVZdlupYvU&t=60s'>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyVZdlupYvU&t=60s</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref2'>[ii]</a>Neuroscience Meets SEL Podcast EP 294 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/beyond-our-5-senses-understanding-and-using-the-six-higher-faculties-of-our-mind/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/beyond-our-5-senses-understanding-and-using-the-six-higher-faculties-of-our-mind/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref3'>[iii]</a> Bob Proctor on the Six Higher Faculties of the Mind (Perception 1:05) <a href='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyVZdlupYvU&t=60s'>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyVZdlupYvU&t=60s</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref4'>[iv]</a>Neuroscience Meets SEL Podcast EP 196 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/the-neuroscience-behind-the-15-success-principles-of-napoleon-hill-s-classic-boo-think-and-grow-rich/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/the-neuroscience-behind-the-15-success-principles-of-napoleon-hill-s-classic-boo-think-and-grow-rich/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref5'>[v]</a> Neuroscience Meets SEL Podcast #28 with Dr. Daniel Siegel on “Mindsight: The Basis for Social and Emotional Intelligence” <a href='https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/clinical-professor-psychiatry-at-ucla-school-medicine/id1469683141?i=1000456048761'>https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/clinical-professor-psychiatry-at-ucla-school-medicine/id1469683141?i=1000456048761</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref6'>[vi]</a> Neuroscience Meets SEL Podcast EP 2 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/self-awareness-know-thyself/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/self-awareness-know-thyself/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref7'>[vii]</a> Neuroscience Meets SEL Podcast #28 with Dr. Daniel Siegel on “Mindsight: The Basis for Social and Emotional Intelligence” <a href='https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/clinical-professor-psychiatry-at-ucla-school-medicine/id1469683141?i=1000456048761'>https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/clinical-professor-psychiatry-at-ucla-school-medicine/id1469683141?i=1000456048761</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref8'>[viii]</a>Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EP 270 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/lucy-biven/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/lucy-biven/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref9'>[ix]</a>Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EP 22 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/founding-director-of-the-yale-center-of-emotional-intelligence-on-his-new-book-permission-to-feel/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/founding-director-of-the-yale-center-of-emotional-intelligence-on-his-new-book-permission-to-feel/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref10'>[x]</a>Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EP 7 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/greg-wolcott-on-building-relationships-in-todays-classrooms/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/greg-wolcott-on-building-relationships-in-todays-classrooms/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref11'>[xi]</a> Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EP 16 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/lori-desautels-and-michael-mcknight-on-the-future-of-educational-neuroscience-in-our-schools-and-communities/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/lori-desautels-and-michael-mcknight-on-the-future-of-educational-neuroscience-in-our-schools-and-communities/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref12'>[xii]</a>Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EP 163 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/dan-hill-phd-the-faces-guy-on-how-to-read-the-emotions-in-others-for-schools-sports-and-the-workplace/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/dan-hill-phd-the-faces-guy-on-how-to-read-the-emotions-in-others-for-schools-sports-and-the-workplace/</a>
 
<a href='#_ednref13'>[xiii]</a>Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EP 100 <a href='https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/professor-mary-helen-immordino-yang-on-the-neuroscience-of-social-and-emotional-learning/'>https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/professor-mary-helen-immordino-yang-on-the-neuroscience-of-social-and-emotional-learning/</a>

کسب و کار

مشاغل

تحصیل

انگلیسی

ایالات متحده آمریکا

ازAPIبرای واکشی این قسمت درJSONاستفاده کنید

در این اپیزود

lucy biven

# dan hill

# henry ford

# thomas edison

# napoleon hill

# daniel siegel

# dan siegel

andrea samadi

این برچسب‌ها را ویرایش کنید

یادداشت ها را نشان دهید 🔗

00:00:07Phase Four Begins

00:02:50Reviewing the First Three Phases

00:05:36The Connection Loop

00:07:02Seeing Through New Eyes

00:10:50Mindsight and Belonging

00:13:56Four Lessons from Dr. Siegel

00:16:41Pause, Notice, Ask

00:21:55The Third Energy Framework

00:25:57The Ripple Effect

00:26:46Applying Phase Four

00:29:50Looking Ahead to Affect

رونوشت 🔗

WEBVTT
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Welcome back to the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning podcast.
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This is where we bridge neuroscience, social and emotional learning,
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and human performance so we can create measurable improvements in our well-being,
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achievement, leadership, productivity, and results.
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I'm Andrea Samadhi, and if you've been following along with Season 16,
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you'll know that we've been building what I call the brain's operating system for human performance.
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I'm Andrea Samadhi, and today we officially launch Phase 4 of the Brain's Operating
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System for Human Performance.
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And this is where we'll cover perception, emotion, and social intelligence.
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And in this phase, we'll explore how we see ourselves and others,
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how we understand and respond to emotions, and how these abilities shape our
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relationships, our learning, leadership, and ultimately our performance.
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And we've spent our first three phases exploring the foundation of individual capacity.
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And now we bring those foundations into our relationships because we can be
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regulated, we can be motivated and capable, and we still misunderstand the person beside us.
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We can enter a conversation intending to help and leave someone feeling unheard.
00:01:36.792 --> 00:01:42.759
Or we can listen in a way that changes our understanding and opens a possibility
00:01:42.928 --> 00:01:44.843
that we hadn't ever considered.
00:01:45.313 --> 00:01:51.438
So in this episode, we'll review how our first three phases prepared us for this next step.
00:01:51.960 --> 00:01:56.573
We'll introduce the connection loop. It's going to be our roadmap for exploring
00:01:56.573 --> 00:02:03.129
perception, our emotions, relationships, belonging, and ultimately our higher performance.
00:02:03.744 --> 00:02:08.693
We'll revisit a clip from Dr. Dan Siegel about mindset, identity,
00:02:08.693 --> 00:02:13.713
and connection, and we'll turn the lessons from that clip into practical actions
00:02:13.713 --> 00:02:16.765
for classrooms, workplaces, and relationships.
00:02:17.596 --> 00:02:22.311
We'll introduce the third energy framework, how the imprint of a meaningful
00:02:22.311 --> 00:02:28.161
relationship can become a contribution that reaches others and makes a significant
00:02:28.161 --> 00:02:29.692
contribution to the world.
00:02:30.162 --> 00:02:34.731
And then we'll begin to prepare for the upcoming workbook planned to be released
00:02:34.731 --> 00:02:40.989
next summer, which will help us bring all these five phases into a personal roadmap for growth.
00:02:41.395 --> 00:02:44.826
So as you listen today, keep one question in mind.
00:02:45.290 --> 00:02:49.409
How can understanding another person change what I do next?
00:02:49.885 --> 00:02:53.257
Let's go back and cover where we've been. Just a review.
00:02:53.542 --> 00:02:56.938
In phase one, we covered regulation and safety.
00:02:57.170 --> 00:03:03.787
And we asked, is our nervous system regulated and safe enough to learn, connect, and perform?
00:03:04.246 --> 00:03:09.674
We explored sleep, rhythm, breath work, recovery, and relational safety,
00:03:10.005 --> 00:03:13.535
the conditions that support readiness for learning and life.
00:03:14.202 --> 00:03:20.111
Then in phase two, neurochemistry and motivation, we asked, what moves us to
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act and what helps us to sustain that action?
00:03:23.890 --> 00:03:27.651
We learned this through the motivation loop. We examined belief,
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our attention, action, feedback, reward, and recovery.
00:03:32.859 --> 00:03:36.917
Then in phase three, we went to movement, learning, and cognition.
00:03:37.213 --> 00:03:42.671
And we asked, how do we build the physical and cognitive capacity that's required
00:03:42.671 --> 00:03:44.189
for learning and performance?
00:03:44.651 --> 00:03:49.423
And we explored how movement prepares us, how our attention supports learning,
00:03:49.748 --> 00:03:55.455
how repetition strengthens skills, and how recovery allows our adaptation.
00:03:55.861 --> 00:04:01.196
We also considered our nutrition and what our own observations and health data
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can tell us about our capacity.
00:04:03.920 --> 00:04:08.907
In episode 408, we brought these lessons together, and we asked how to turn
00:04:08.907 --> 00:04:14.607
information into wisdom, how to use what we learn to make meaningful changes.
00:04:14.996 --> 00:04:19.669
And together, these phases helped us to explore how to regulate our system,
00:04:20.034 --> 00:04:23.761
how to sustain our effort, and how to build our capacity.
00:04:24.396 --> 00:04:32.055
Now, phase four asks, how can we use that capacity to understand ourselves and connect with others?
00:04:32.403 --> 00:04:36.937
And it's here we introduce the connection loop. With every interaction with
00:04:36.937 --> 00:04:41.912
another person, we bring our own history, our own expectations,
00:04:42.068 --> 00:04:45.441
our emotions, and our own ways of seeing the world.
00:04:45.865 --> 00:04:48.564
And the person across from us brings theirs.
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Two people can experience the same conversation and leave with different interpretations.
00:04:55.513 --> 00:04:59.286
One might feel encouraged and the other might feel pressured.
00:04:59.716 --> 00:05:03.987
One thinks the conversation went well, and the other leaves wondering whether
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it was safe to speak honestly.
00:05:06.217 --> 00:05:09.584
That brings us to the central question of phase four.
00:05:10.054 --> 00:05:15.029
How does the way we perceive ourselves and others shape our emotion,
00:05:15.331 --> 00:05:21.084
our relationships, our learning, leadership, and ultimately our high performance?
00:05:22.132 --> 00:05:28.558
And throughout this phase, we'll explore a reflection framework that I call the connection loop.
00:05:28.848 --> 00:05:35.478
It's a roadmap, so our upcoming episodes will help us to examine all of these parts more deeply.
00:05:35.808 --> 00:05:37.596
We begin with perception.
00:05:38.014 --> 00:05:40.545
How am I interpreting what's happening?
00:05:40.998 --> 00:05:45.160
Then we consider affect. How an experience feels.
00:05:45.462 --> 00:05:51.459
Does it feel pleasant or unpleasant? calming or activating. Someone's tone might
00:05:51.459 --> 00:05:52.887
leave us feeling uneasy.
00:05:53.206 --> 00:05:56.863
A welcoming expression might help us to feel more comfortable.
00:05:57.484 --> 00:06:02.540
Then we explore emotion. What emotional response am I experiencing?
00:06:02.888 --> 00:06:06.534
What's happening in my body and what do I feel moved to do?
00:06:06.801 --> 00:06:11.758
Recognizing and naming an emotion can help us to understand that response.
00:06:12.380 --> 00:06:18.579
Then we go to Mindsight and we ask, can I reflect on my own internal world while
00:06:18.579 --> 00:06:21.212
remaining curious about another person's?
00:06:21.642 --> 00:06:26.803
And that awareness influences our relationships. How will I listen,
00:06:26.936 --> 00:06:31.342
communicate, respond, or repair a misunderstanding?
00:06:31.882 --> 00:06:37.257
And our interactions here shape our belonging and leading to our performance.
00:06:37.716 --> 00:06:42.110
So can we participate, learn, contribute, and grow together?
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These processes overlap and influence one another.
00:06:46.331 --> 00:06:51.369
And I think the loop gives us a way to slow down an interaction and notice what
00:06:51.369 --> 00:06:53.587
we might have otherwise overlooked.
00:06:54.034 --> 00:06:59.609
It also returns us to perception. What happens in one relationship can influence
00:06:59.609 --> 00:07:01.296
what we expect from the next.
00:07:01.952 --> 00:07:07.066
Now let's begin with that starting point, how we see. Perception,
00:07:07.269 --> 00:07:08.657
it's the starting point.
00:07:09.185 --> 00:07:13.925
When I first worked with Bob Proctor in my late 20s, one lesson that stayed
00:07:13.925 --> 00:07:19.222
with me was the importance of examining a problem from more than one perspective.
00:07:19.692 --> 00:07:21.045
He would describe writing a
00:07:21.045 --> 00:07:24.812
problem on a piece of paper, and then he put it in the middle of a table.
00:07:25.201 --> 00:07:29.114
That helped him to step back and examine it more objectively.
00:07:29.584 --> 00:07:34.756
Then he would ask how someone else that he respected might approach that problem.
00:07:35.162 --> 00:07:40.091
He would ask, what would that person notice? What questions would they ask?
00:07:40.416 --> 00:07:44.340
What possibility might they see that he had overlooked?
00:07:44.717 --> 00:07:49.995
And I still use this practice. Recently, I considered a problem through the
00:07:49.995 --> 00:07:52.711
imagined perspective of someone I respect.
00:07:53.106 --> 00:07:57.024
Within minutes, I noticed an opportunity that I had missed.
00:07:57.448 --> 00:08:03.270
My circumstances had not immediately changed, but my interpretation of them had.
00:08:03.768 --> 00:08:07.437
If you want to hear how he would work on his perception faculty,
00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:11.895
and perception is one of six of our intellectual factors of our mind,
00:08:12.156 --> 00:08:15.006
we cover this topic on episode 294.
00:08:15.506 --> 00:08:19.198
And how he was sure he was looking at a problem from all angles,
00:08:19.465 --> 00:08:21.636
I've linked the video in the show notes.
00:08:21.763 --> 00:08:24.405
Perception is at 1 minute and 5 seconds.
00:08:24.631 --> 00:08:29.145
And this is where he explains that if he had a problem, he wanted to solve how
00:08:29.145 --> 00:08:31.736
he would write it on a paper and what he would do.
00:08:32.184 --> 00:08:36.655
And the part I loved about this activity the most was that he would challenge
00:08:36.655 --> 00:08:38.360
us to keep thinking here.
00:08:38.825 --> 00:08:44.461
He would choose people that he looked up to and respected, like the author, Napoleon Hill.
00:08:44.723 --> 00:08:48.135
He would say, how would he look at this? He wrote the famous book,
00:08:48.135 --> 00:08:52.112
Think and Grow Rich, and we've covered that topic on this podcast.
00:08:52.478 --> 00:08:57.005
And it amazes me to this day that Proctor studied this book for most of his
00:08:57.005 --> 00:09:02.020
life, and it shows, especially when it came to his problem-solving abilities.
00:09:02.825 --> 00:09:09.791
He would say he would try to get into Napoleon Hill's energy and get his perception of his problem.
00:09:10.197 --> 00:09:14.347
And he would keep going with this process and would ask, how would Thomas Edison
00:09:14.347 --> 00:09:17.761
look at the problem? Or how would Henry Ford look at this?
00:09:18.097 --> 00:09:23.200
And he would mentally think as if he were them. How would I look at this?
00:09:23.537 --> 00:09:28.137
So try this. If you want to change your perception of a problem you have with
00:09:28.137 --> 00:09:32.000
this process, pick someone who are leaders in your industry,
00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:37.469
and you'll eventually be able to see the opportunity in the problem if you can do this.
00:09:37.805 --> 00:09:42.897
You can try this for yourself. Choose one person whose judgment you value and
00:09:42.897 --> 00:09:46.217
ask, how might they approach this situation?
00:09:46.629 --> 00:09:52.016
That question may help you to identify another explanation, an overlooked option,
00:09:52.335 --> 00:09:54.319
or a more useful response.
00:09:54.668 --> 00:09:59.021
But when we bring this practice into relationships, there's another step.
00:09:59.428 --> 00:10:04.002
Imagining another person's perspective can help us question our assumptions.
00:10:04.472 --> 00:10:09.929
But understanding a real person also requires listening to what they tell us.
00:10:10.353 --> 00:10:16.320
We can't assume what one would feel in their position is what they would actually feel in real life.
00:10:16.721 --> 00:10:21.614
Their experience may reveal something that our own perspective can't provide,
00:10:22.027 --> 00:10:26.183
and that's why we're opening Phase 4 with Dr. Dan Siegel.
00:10:26.642 --> 00:10:31.427
Although Mindsight appears later in our connection loop, it helps us to examine
00:10:31.427 --> 00:10:34.229
our starting point here of perception,
00:10:34.583 --> 00:10:39.918
and it invites us to notice our interpretations, reflect on our reactions,
00:10:40.173 --> 00:10:47.301
and recognize that another person has an internal world that we don't automatically understand.
00:10:48.231 --> 00:10:53.205
So in our original interview with Dr. Dan Siegel, episode 28,
00:10:53.205 --> 00:10:58.985
it was recorded in our first year of the podcast, Dr. Siegel joined us to discuss
00:10:58.985 --> 00:11:02.997
Mindsight, the basis for social and emotional intelligence.
00:11:03.404 --> 00:11:08.883
And during that conversation, he shared a story about eighth-grade students in Canada.
00:11:09.496 --> 00:11:14.703
And he said that a Black student expressed feeling ashamed of having Black skin,
00:11:15.057 --> 00:11:19.138
And his white classmates asked him why. Why would he feel that way?
00:11:19.439 --> 00:11:24.943
And the discussion opened into questions about racism in Canada and around the world.
00:11:26.014 --> 00:11:29.996
And although this is a painful experience to share from that student's point
00:11:29.996 --> 00:11:34.681
of view, it raises a question for anyone who teaches, leads,
00:11:34.919 --> 00:11:37.003
parents, or works with others.
00:11:37.508 --> 00:11:43.301
How do we respond when someone reveals an experience that we've not personally lived?
00:11:43.725 --> 00:11:48.526
And as you listen, notice how Dr. Siegel describes the depth of the student's
00:11:48.526 --> 00:11:50.799
discussion and collaboration.
00:11:51.293 --> 00:11:55.692
He uses the term muy, which brings together me and you.
00:11:55.994 --> 00:11:59.756
Our individuality, and our interconnectedness with others.
00:12:00.133 --> 00:12:06.368
So listen to this clip and see what's possible when learning includes understanding one another.
00:12:06.577 --> 00:12:09.806
These kids, these were 14-year-olds. They were in eighth grade.
00:12:09.806 --> 00:12:14.856
You know, they got the concepts. And one of the kids, even though this was Canada,
00:12:15.156 --> 00:12:20.106
you know, but he was Black. And he said, you know, having Black skin makes me
00:12:20.106 --> 00:12:23.466
feel really ashamed of who I am. And the other kids, some of the white kids,
00:12:23.466 --> 00:12:24.676
said, why, why would that be?
00:12:25.156 --> 00:12:28.796
And they started talking about, you know, racism in Canada and racism in the
00:12:28.796 --> 00:12:29.906
world and all this stuff.
00:12:29.906 --> 00:12:34.736
And the depth of their discussion, the depth of their collaboration was so beautiful
00:12:34.736 --> 00:12:38.986
because we have this incredible ability to go beyond what we've inherited.
00:12:38.986 --> 00:12:44.316
And with consciousness and collaboration, we can be incredibly creative.
00:12:44.316 --> 00:12:48.416
We can support one another. And instead of the usual thing of who's going to
00:12:48.416 --> 00:12:51.026
get the best grade in this class, who's going to get the best test,
00:12:51.026 --> 00:12:52.496
that's all physical site stuff.
00:12:52.496 --> 00:12:56.596
Who has the best memory? Here, it was like, how can we participate?
00:12:56.596 --> 00:13:02.346
I call it a MWI, where you differentiate the me and you realize the deeply interconnected
00:13:02.346 --> 00:13:06.106
nature of we, not just with other people who are like you, but people who are
00:13:06.106 --> 00:13:08.897
not like you, and not just with humans, but with all species.
00:13:09.551 --> 00:13:12.820
So what can we learn from this story from Dr. Siegel?
00:13:13.180 --> 00:13:18.001
What stands out to me the most is that this conversation begins with an experience
00:13:18.001 --> 00:13:19.960
that the students don't all share.
00:13:20.413 --> 00:13:25.671
One student expresses a painful feeling, and his classmates have an opportunity
00:13:25.671 --> 00:13:30.380
to listen and examine something they might have otherwise have missed.
00:13:30.914 --> 00:13:35.929
Dr. Siegel describes the depth of their discussion along with their collaboration,
00:13:36.243 --> 00:13:40.851
and his story invites us to consider learning that includes how we understand
00:13:40.851 --> 00:13:42.617
and participate with one another.
00:13:43.297 --> 00:13:48.207
And we don't know every student's internal response or what happened afterward,
00:13:48.492 --> 00:13:52.393
but we can use the story to reflect on our own interactions.
00:13:52.787 --> 00:13:56.654
And here's four takeaways and ways to put them into action.
00:13:57.176 --> 00:14:04.287
Takeaway one from Dr. Siegel's clip. Another person's experience can expand our perception.
00:14:05.129 --> 00:14:09.395
We each interpret the world through our own lens and our experiences.
00:14:09.813 --> 00:14:14.691
When someone describes something that's unfamiliar to us, we have an opportunity
00:14:14.691 --> 00:14:18.393
to recognize what our own lens may have left out.
00:14:18.881 --> 00:14:23.461
In Dr. Siegel's story, the student shares the experience his classmates have
00:14:23.461 --> 00:14:29.260
not lived, and their discussion creates an opportunity to explore that difference.
00:14:29.649 --> 00:14:34.757
The question for us is, what might this person help me to better understand
00:14:35.007 --> 00:14:36.894
that I've not seen before.
00:14:37.296 --> 00:14:39.182
So how do we put this into action?
00:14:39.594 --> 00:14:45.131
In your next difficult conversation, pause before explaining your position and
00:14:45.131 --> 00:14:50.519
ask, can you help me to better understand what that experience was like for you?
00:14:51.036 --> 00:14:56.731
Listen before we offer our own advice or compare their experience to your own,
00:14:57.120 --> 00:14:58.937
and then check your interpretation.
00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:04.567
So what I'm hearing is that you felt overlooked. Have I understood that correctly?
00:15:04.881 --> 00:15:09.511
In a classroom, you can offer opportunities to share without asking any students
00:15:09.511 --> 00:15:13.466
to have to represent a racial group or a culture or a social group.
00:15:13.809 --> 00:15:17.756
In a workplace, ask whose experience is missing from a decision.
00:15:18.180 --> 00:15:23.045
Or at home, remember that two people can experience the same things differently.
00:15:23.596 --> 00:15:28.211
The practice is to leave the conversation understanding something you didn't
00:15:28.211 --> 00:15:29.842
understand when you entered it.
00:15:30.697 --> 00:15:36.756
Takeaway 2 from Dr. Siegel's clip. Mindsight includes noticing ourselves,
00:15:37.105 --> 00:15:42.410
so understanding another person also involves noticing what's happening within us.
00:15:42.718 --> 00:15:49.080
Self-awareness, or to know thyself, we actually covered on episode 2 of this podcast.
00:15:49.446 --> 00:15:54.224
It was definitely the starting point of where I was creating our podcast roadmap.
00:15:54.729 --> 00:15:58.839
When someone challenges our perspective, we may feel uncomfortable.
00:15:59.048 --> 00:16:02.728
We may feel defensive or eager to explain ourselves.
00:16:03.123 --> 00:16:07.372
These responses can influence what we hear and what we miss.
00:16:07.830 --> 00:16:11.668
Mindsight invites us to ask, what am I feeling?
00:16:12.045 --> 00:16:19.678
What am I assuming? And am I listening to understand? Or am I preparing my own response back?
00:16:20.189 --> 00:16:26.258
Later in episode 414 with Dan Hill, will explore how facial expressions can
00:16:26.258 --> 00:16:28.949
offer emotional clues in these situations.
00:16:29.477 --> 00:16:34.278
These clues may help us to ask better questions, and context and conversation
00:16:34.278 --> 00:16:36.465
remains essential in these situations.
00:16:36.901 --> 00:16:43.460
How to put Mindsight into action. Use these three steps to see the mind in ourselves and others.
00:16:44.058 --> 00:16:48.923
Pause, notice, and ask. Pause before you respond.
00:16:49.352 --> 00:16:55.006
Notice your reaction privately. Think I'm feeling defensive or I want to explain myself.
00:16:55.657 --> 00:17:00.515
What I'm hearing here challenges something that I believe, so we're seeing our own mind.
00:17:00.927 --> 00:17:07.638
Then think about the other person's mind. Think I may be missing something. Can you tell me more?
00:17:08.201 --> 00:17:13.208
Before giving your own perspective, seeing your own mind, summarize what you've
00:17:13.208 --> 00:17:15.185
heard and invite correction.
00:17:15.318 --> 00:17:17.988
You're now trying to see the other person's mind.
00:17:18.377 --> 00:17:21.912
This creates room for a more thoughtful response.
00:17:22.761 --> 00:17:28.798
Takeaway 3. Mui makes room for individuality and belonging.
00:17:29.431 --> 00:17:36.476
Dr. Siegel's idea of Mui brings together me and you together to form Mui.
00:17:36.807 --> 00:17:42.089
Each person has a distinct history, distinct identity, and distinct voice.
00:17:43.070 --> 00:17:49.891
And belonging includes being heard, respected, and involved while remaining ourselves.
00:17:50.264 --> 00:17:55.476
So the question here is, can each person participate without having to hide
00:17:55.476 --> 00:17:57.954
an important part of their experience?
00:17:58.781 --> 00:18:03.878
How to put Takeaway 3 into action? In a classroom, a team meeting,
00:18:03.983 --> 00:18:10.542
or a family discussion, ask, how have we made room for everyone who wants to contribute?
00:18:11.129 --> 00:18:15.587
What would help you to participate? Offer different ways to contribute.
00:18:15.987 --> 00:18:21.949
People could speak or write. reflect first, or you could follow up with them privately.
00:18:22.274 --> 00:18:28.281
When someone shares a difficult experience, you could ask, what support would be useful for you?
00:18:28.629 --> 00:18:32.298
And if the conversation reveals discrimination or exclusion,
00:18:32.564 --> 00:18:36.169
identify what needs to change and follow through with it.
00:18:36.745 --> 00:18:42.586
Leaders have a responsibility to take concern seriously, to address disrespect,
00:18:42.586 --> 00:18:46.740
and to change practices that prevent participation from the group.
00:18:47.223 --> 00:18:51.956
Group members can invite input without pressure. They can respect differences
00:18:51.956 --> 00:18:55.105
and notice whose ideas are being overlooked.
00:18:55.536 --> 00:18:59.377
The person who feels excluded can, when they feel safe and willing,
00:18:59.575 --> 00:19:03.639
share their experience and identify the support that would help them.
00:19:04.022 --> 00:19:08.491
They shouldn't have to prove that their pain matters or fix the environment themselves.
00:19:08.922 --> 00:19:14.276
Listening begins the response, then action and follow-up help us to determine
00:19:14.276 --> 00:19:16.543
whether the conditions have been improved.
00:19:17.384 --> 00:19:22.469
And takeaway four, collaboration can expand what we understand.
00:19:22.852 --> 00:19:27.472
Dr. Siegel describes the depth and creativity of the student's discussion.
00:19:27.896 --> 00:19:33.149
His story invites us to consider performance that includes our ability to listen,
00:19:33.521 --> 00:19:37.828
to learn from differences, and to contribute to shared work.
00:19:38.188 --> 00:19:42.693
We can ask, what has become possible because we learn together?
00:19:43.386 --> 00:19:48.721
So how do we put this into action? After a shared task or a meaningful discussion,
00:19:48.999 --> 00:19:52.401
reflect both on the result and the interaction.
00:19:52.813 --> 00:19:58.119
Look at what did we accomplish? What perspective expanded our thinking?
00:19:58.554 --> 00:20:03.362
Did everyone have a meaningful opportunity to contribute? And what will we do
00:20:03.362 --> 00:20:05.822
differently because of what we learned?
00:20:06.229 --> 00:20:09.828
So just choose one thing to change for the next interaction.
00:20:10.060 --> 00:20:16.010
Invite input earlier, check an assumption, and give people more time to respond.
00:20:16.741 --> 00:20:21.922
Then ask whether that change helped. And this is how shared understanding begins
00:20:21.922 --> 00:20:24.524
to influence future behavior.
00:20:25.997 --> 00:20:31.697
So to bring these four takeaways together, Dr. Siegel's clip gave us four practices
00:20:31.697 --> 00:20:33.677
to carry into phase four.
00:20:34.333 --> 00:20:37.502
Listen for what your perception may be missing.
00:20:38.210 --> 00:20:42.802
Notice your own response before deciding how to respond.
00:20:43.353 --> 00:20:49.107
Create belonging that makes room for individual differences and turn shared
00:20:49.107 --> 00:20:52.682
understanding into a change in how you work together.
00:20:53.205 --> 00:20:57.378
These practices bring our connection loop into everyday life.
00:20:57.709 --> 00:20:59.213
We start with perception.
00:20:59.950 --> 00:21:04.675
We go to affect, how we feel. We go to emotions, we can name them.
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We go to mindsight, now we see the mind in another.
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That strengthens our relationships, strengthening our belonging,
00:21:13.702 --> 00:21:16.378
and ultimately leads to higher performance.
00:21:17.252 --> 00:21:22.703
Dr. Siegel's story shows us the possibilities that can open up when people listen,
00:21:23.016 --> 00:21:25.890
when they reflect, and when they learn together.
00:21:26.279 --> 00:21:28.334
And it leaves us with a question now.
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What happens when the conversation ends and the influence continues?
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Someone's experience may change our perspective. That understanding may then
00:21:40.187 --> 00:21:47.606
shape how we teach, how we lead, how we support others, and maybe even how we respond to injustice.
00:21:48.520 --> 00:21:53.716
And this brings us to an idea that I call the third energy framework.
00:21:54.237 --> 00:22:00.271
The third energy is the new possibility that emerges when two people intentionally
00:22:00.271 --> 00:22:03.491
connect, grow, and contribute together.
00:22:04.036 --> 00:22:09.255
And they create something that continues to grow far beyond each individual.
00:22:09.592 --> 00:22:14.014
And I call it third because each person brings something into the relationship.
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And through their connection, something new can emerge.
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And I use energy as a metaphor here for the inspiration, for the creativity,
00:22:24.056 --> 00:22:28.172
and for the possibility that meaningful connections can awaken.
00:22:28.705 --> 00:22:34.748
And Dr. Siegel's story shows us how we can explore connection and shared understanding.
00:22:35.068 --> 00:22:39.021
The third energy asks what we might carry forward afterwards.
00:22:39.485 --> 00:22:44.181
And although the graphic begins with two individuals here, we can also consider
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these possibilities within a group.
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Every significant relationship leaves an imprint.
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The third energy is that lasting contribution that emerges from that imprint.
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And an imprint might be a changed perspective, greater confidence,
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or an insight that we remember years later.
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The contribution takes shape when we use that influence to make something possible for others.
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And the framework follows six stages. Stage one, you've got two individuals.
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Each person brings their own experiences, their own perspectives,
00:23:22.322 --> 00:23:24.806
their own strengths and hopes and dreams.
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And in Dr. Siegel's story, the student enters the discussion with different lived experiences.
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And we recognize those differences that give us a starting point.
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And we ask, what do we each bring, and what might we learn from one another?
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Then there's stage two, meaningful connections and how we listen.
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So curiosity, attentive listening, and honest conversations can create conditions
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for meaningful connection here.
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So in the classroom story, a student's experience became a part of a shared discussion.
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And we ask, are we giving what someone shares thoughtful attention?
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Then we've got stage three, mutual growth, how we expand one another.
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A connection may help us to question an assumption, help us to develop confidence,
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or consider a different approach.
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Growth can look different for each person, and we should not assume what someone
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might have gained from an interaction. Gotta ask them.
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The classroom conversation offers an opportunity for students to reconsider
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what they understood about identity, racism, and connection.
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Ask, what is the exchange helping us to reconsider and understand?
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Then phase four, you've got shared insight, what we discover together.
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Through conversation, a new understanding or possibility may emerge.
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Dr. Siegel's idea of MUI offers one way to reflect on the story.
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Individuality and interconnectedness can be held together.
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So ask, what are we beginning to understand through this exchange?
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Then we've got stage five, contribution, how insight that we've learned becomes action.
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And this stage asks, what do we actually do with that understanding?
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We don't know what the students did afterwards with Dr. Siegel,
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but we can consider possible actions, challenging racism, changing a classroom
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practice, or responding more thoughtfully when someone shares a painful experience.
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So we ask, what will we create, share, or change because of what we've learned?
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And the last stage is that collective ripple, how others carry it forward.
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The contribution formed may reach beyond the original relationship.
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Someone uses an idea, adapts a practice, or carries a lesson into another setting.
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We can see one example here.
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Dr. Siegel shared this story with me, and I'm revisiting it with you,
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and you may bring a lesson from it to your own classroom, workplace, or relationships.
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And its further influence depends on what we choose to do.
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And we ask who could benefit, and what might they carry forward.
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And the imprint is what stays with us. The contribution is what we do with it.
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And the ripple is how others carry it forward.
00:26:35.829 --> 00:26:41.681
So to review and conclude this week's episode 409, the introduction to phase
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four of our brain's operating system, we introduced three connected ideas.
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First, the connection loop. It's a roadmap for exploring how we perceive,
00:26:52.541 --> 00:26:56.152
how we feel, understand, and relate to each other.
00:26:56.907 --> 00:27:02.171
We looked at Dr. Siegel's classroom story that helped us to consider how listening
00:27:02.171 --> 00:27:07.501
can expand our perception, and make room for individuality, belonging,
00:27:07.501 --> 00:27:08.836
and collaborative learning.
00:27:09.097 --> 00:27:13.207
And finally, we looked at the third energy framework and asked,
00:27:13.486 --> 00:27:15.571
what might we contribute and
00:27:15.571 --> 00:27:20.876
make a greater impact outside of ourselves because of that understanding?
00:27:21.444 --> 00:27:28.625
We don't need to remember every stage today. Just begin with one conversation and one action.
00:27:29.032 --> 00:27:33.028
Before the conversation, ask, what am I assuming?
00:27:33.608 --> 00:27:38.751
During the conversation, ask, what does this person want me to understand?
00:27:38.751 --> 00:27:40.354
Start looking at Mindsight.
00:27:40.731 --> 00:27:44.736
Notice your own response. Listen and check your interpretation.
00:27:45.056 --> 00:27:47.262
Ask, have I understood you correctly?
00:27:47.738 --> 00:27:52.956
After the conversation, ask, what did I learn, and what will I do because of it?
00:27:53.450 --> 00:28:00.201
Choose one action. Offer support, follow-up, repair a misunderstanding or change
00:28:00.201 --> 00:28:02.645
a practice that prevents participation.
00:28:03.241 --> 00:28:07.723
Then record what you learned. Look at what you assumed, what you learned,
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what you changed, and what happened next.
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And these reflections will help prepare us in the future when we bring all five
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of these phases together.
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We'll learn to understand, reflect, apply what we've learned,
00:28:23.187 --> 00:28:26.206
measure what we've learned, and become more.
00:28:26.780 --> 00:28:31.901
With repeated practice, we can build a personal roadmap that's grounded in what
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actually helps us to grow and be more.
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Now, our journey began with regulation and safety here in phase one.
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We moved into motivation, and then we explored how to build our capacity.
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Now, in phase four, we bring that capacity into our connections.
00:28:50.900 --> 00:28:56.749
And we ask, how does the way I perceive and respond to another person shape
00:28:56.749 --> 00:28:58.812
what becomes possible between us?
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This week, notice one assumption. Give someone room to share their experience,
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and let's see what we all learn from one action.
00:29:08.344 --> 00:29:13.609
A conversation may change how we see something and that changed perspective
00:29:13.795 --> 00:29:18.514
may influence how we teach, how we lead or support someone else.
00:29:18.909 --> 00:29:23.489
And what we contribute may become something that others carry forward.
00:29:23.919 --> 00:29:28.151
And that's the possibility that we'll explore through the third energy.
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Think of one person who's changed how you see the world.
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What did they help you to understand? And what could you offer someone else because of it?
00:29:38.970 --> 00:29:44.549
So I want to thank you for joining me on episode 409 as we launch phase four,
00:29:44.688 --> 00:29:47.509
Perception, Emotion, and Social Intelligence.
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Next in episode 410, we'll revisit Lucy Biven to explore affect,
00:29:54.318 --> 00:29:58.388
our emotions, and the brain's core emotional systems.
00:29:58.806 --> 00:30:05.505
Until then, choose one conversation, listen with curiosity, and check your understanding.
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And remember, what we learn from one another can become a part of who we're becoming in the future.
00:30:13.063 --> 00:30:17.399
Just carry one lesson forward through action. We'll see you next time.
00:30:19.170 --> 00:30:23.621
If you're enjoying the neuroscience meets social and emotional learning podcast,
00:30:23.621 --> 00:30:27.431
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00:30:27.431 --> 00:30:31.721
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00:30:38.421 --> 00:30:43.596
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سلب مسئولیت: پادکست و آثار هنری تعبیه شده در این صفحه متعلق به Andrea Samadi است که متعلق به صاحب آن است و به Listen Notes، Inc وابسته یا تایید نشده است.