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Cletus Coffey, former professional athlete turned men's coach, shares his journey from hiding behind athletic identity to discovering authentic masculinity. After a four-year career in the Canadian Football League and Arena Football League, Cletus faced an identity crisis when his career ended at 28. Through two divorces, single fatherhood with three children, and toxic relationships, he learned that true strength comes from vulnerability, not performance. Cletus discusses the epidemic of men suffering in silence, the importance of morning routines for single fathers, how triggers reveal unhealed wounds, and why most men struggle to answer "who are you?" without mentioning career or family. He introduces his Be The Torch program, designed to help men create lives they desire rather than fitting life into their business. This episode tackles the reality of modern masculinity: choosing freedom, vulnerability, and truth over societal programming and the exhausting performance of being someone you're not.
Chapters:
- (00:00:00) - The Single Father's Reality: Morning Routines and Self-Care
- (00:01:00) - From Pro Athlete to Lost Identity: When Your Career Defines You
- (00:09:00) - Who Are You Really? The Question Most Men Can't Answer
- (00:13:00) - The Identity Crisis: Life After Professional Sports
- (00:18:00) - The Two Deepest Wounds All Men Carry: Abandonment and Worthiness
- (00:23:00) - Your Triggers Are Mirrors: What's Really Behind Your Anger
- (00:26:00) - The Morning Routine That Changed Everything for This Single Dad
- (00:32:00) - Co-Parenting After Divorce: From Anger to Collaboration
- (00:38:00) - The Difference Between Correction and Criticism in Parenting
- (00:42:00) - Why Men Are Suffering in Silence and What We Can Do About It
Links And Resources:
- Cletus Coffey's Morning Routine
- Book a Call with Cletus
- Cletus on LinkedIn
- Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
- Hector Santiesteban on Twitter
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