Would You Use An AI Generated Mediator? Paul J. Molinaro, M.D., J.D

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Hi, I'm Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme Court mediator.
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Welcome to the Mediate This Podcast, where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.
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All right, I have a question for you.
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And maybe maybe you do or do not know the answer to this.
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Probably do you know?
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All right, so so let's let's play this out.
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We're in mediation and I'm a generated video.
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Do you know I'm a generated video?
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Has it been disclosed?
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Does it need to be disclosed?
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Oh, I think it would be.
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You think I'm actually human.
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So back, I'm just saying, if I didn't know, does it matter to me then?
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I'm gonna feel just as understood whether I whether you're a person or not.
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So I don't know.
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I would want to know.
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I would want to know because I would I wouldn't think that a computer, like if it was computer generated, I'm like, it's been programmed just to say it, it doesn't really know.
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No, I I want to part, like and at that point I'd be like, you know what, I'm done negotiating until I get a person.
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Yeah, because you know that's what I'm saying.
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Once you know, you and I would both exactly have the same opinion.
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I'm you're no, I'm not, this is fake.
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I don't like it.
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Yeah, um, I'm not doing this.
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But if you don't know, right, so the law would have to say there has to be disclosures, and then the businesses of who's putting up this AI would say, no, we don't have to disclose that.
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You know, why that's gonna kill our business.
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You can imagine the the people who are trying to make money would not having to pay mediators, would not want that.
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But the if the law would prevent make you disclose it, then we would know, and you and I would not be comfortable with it.
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But I wonder about the next generation coming up, would they be more comfortable with it?
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Hey, look, the next generation is comfortable identifying as a tree that might fall on your car and then you get sued.
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Like, yeah, but I'm sure they'll be on I'm sure the next generation will be fine with anything, anything will go, which is pretty frightening.
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But I mean, I had the conversation yesterday with my sister, okay.
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So my sister is four seven, uh four, six years younger than me.
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And she's going back to school for for medical billing, uh, medical billing and coding, okay.
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And so she she was telling me that you know she's prepping for her class, and so um she got on and was with AI, hey, help me with this and help me build a study program and help me with this.
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And it was funny because anytime somebody says that to me, and I always, you know, when I know that they're they're age bracket, right?
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I said to her, I said to her, I said, you know, Sarah, John Connor is just shaking his head at you, going, What in the world are you doing?
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Right.
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That's right.
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But what's interesting is my wife, who's 17 years older than me, so she's um she's 17 years older.
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She says to me, Who's John Connor that you keep talking about?
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And I'm like, oh my gosh, like, okay, so I went two generations above, no idea John Connor went one generation below, new John Connor.
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And just just that comment going, Oh, yeah, I'm talking to AI.
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I'm like, John Connor's just shaking his head, going, What are you doing?
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So, yeah, I mean, I think the younger generation, it's interesting.
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The young, I mean, look, I think the younger generation is going to be fine with robot medicine, robot bartenders, robot cars.
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I mean, I dare I say robot judges.
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Um, I don't know.
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That's the next step, right?
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Yeah, that and then they'll they'll do they'll do it a little like small claims course.
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Gradually.
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Yeah, they'll they'll introduce it like that.
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And then it'll move up.
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I mean, sort of like they did robot bartenders.
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They start out on a cruise ship.
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Yeah, only those that go on a cruise ship get some, and eventually they'll make it to the mainland, and then eventually Tesla's got robots, and you've got a bartender in your every single house, right?
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Like it just slowly but surely over time.
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Um I knew this world changed.
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My daughter's 30.
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And I remember when she was, I think, five or yeah, maybe five.
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She was still in her car seat.
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And I remember my I remember I got a phone call, and I just reached around and I gave her the phone, and I look in the rearview mirror, and there's my daughter in her car seat on the phone.
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I'm like, wow, times have changed.
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And it's just accelerated since then with technology and uh and whatnot.
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Is it it just accelerates?
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When you went like, so as a doctor, yeah, were you trained?
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I'm jumping around as well.
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So as a doctor, were you trained on robotics at all?
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Because you I mean you still went like 2000.
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Well, I went to school in the late 80s.
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Medic I was in medical school in the late 80s.
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I graduated.
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Oh, late 80s.
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Yeah.
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So I think we did think law school was 2000.
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No, law, yeah, so late 80s.
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So medicine was very, very different by then.
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And I remember very different.
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And I'm sure I I you know I I get to remember the guy's name, but he was a cardiologist.
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And um they were talking about uh machines that could read the EKGs.
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And he was, and I remember him saying to us, and he was probably in his 60s then, super smart guy, you know, head of cardiology, said, No computer is ever gonna read an EKG better than me.
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Wow.
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Well, now you now I I have a there's a a little ring that you could put on your finger that's doing a two uh a lead two EKG.
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Are you kidding?
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I know.
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And I know we can get them on Amazon now.
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Um and I remember you know, we didn't even have an MRI machine, it would be a portable one that would come to the the the hospitals.
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A lot of them didn't have MRIs on cats because they couldn't afford them.
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So they would have a portable MRI that would in a truck trailer that would come like three times a week and do the MRIs.
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So when you it is the technology has changed so much in medicine, yeah.
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Um and for good and bad, I mean, the the idea of examining patients with your hands and feeling a belly to see if the liver is enlarged or is there a spleen enlarged.
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Get a cat scan.
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What are you doing, Paul?
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What do you don't need to touch this guy's belly, really?
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There's a cat scanner right up the hall or an ultrasound.
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It'll tell you exactly how big his liver is.
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No guessing.
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Right.
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And if you don't do that, and even if you're the best guy in the world at examining with your hands, because you're really good at it, you want to stand in court and tell the the you know, well, I thought my hands were better than the CAT scanner.
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Just get the CAT scan.
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So when you said stand in the stand in the booth like scan head to toe, type in your symptoms, move on to the next station, pick up your medicine, and out the door you go.
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Or to surgery where a robot will do your surgery.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy times.
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Yes, it is.
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Um, so so how often are you so now now we're gonna jump.
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I'm I'm jumping to all the way to the end.
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I think I'm gonna jump with you.
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Yeah, how often are you arbitrated?
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So, I mean, once a month you're doing medical your I've only got one arbitration case right now, so that's kind of newer.
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Okay.
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Um, I uh and that those are right now a little bit more difficult to get as an independent.
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Yeah, how do you get those?
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So uh the only um it's only on the Kaiser panel, so someone would have to pick me.
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Okay.
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Um so you if you are arbitrating against Kaiser or your attorney, you'd go on the their website or you'd know who you want maybe ahead of time.
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Um and you would look at the list, Southern California uh or Northern California and pick whoever you want, contact them and say, Hey, are you available?
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Um, and then you can use that person.
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It has to yes, because you're approved through the Office of Independent Administrators.
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Um, so those I'm not doing very much.
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I've only got one right now.
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That's kind of new.
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I'm hoping that that builds up as I get more well known.
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Um I can't release the name publicly yet, but by the time this comes out, maybe if you email me.
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July 1st, I start with one of the larger mediation companies, and that might bring a lot more business in um for uh arbitrations, you know.
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Right now I'm in still under the independent, although I I've ink the contract already, so my business will be going through them.
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Um that handles all the administrative, but also um you're gonna get bigger exposure when you go to the events, you know, uh which I'm very we could talk about that whole thing about I've never had to advertise before.
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But as soon as I hung out my shingle with the MDJD, my whole tagline was when you need a lawyer, call the doctor.
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And 888 MDJD law, right?
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And and the phone just started ringing immediately.
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There's just not a lot of us out there.
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Um, and there and there are the ones that are most of the MDJDs are in administrative, they work in healthcare insurance companies are for hospitals.
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Very few MDJDs actually litigate.
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There's a there's a handful of us, but um, it brought a lot of business.
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I've never had to advertise.
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The real estate, like I said, we always had but the mediation, boy, you gotta get out there and you gotta mediate.
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It's very competitive.
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So I'm attending a lot of events, I'm doing a lot of speaking engagements.
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This, for instance, I'm I and I always really liked doing it.
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I just never had to.
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Um, so now I'm like, you know, I did that talk in Palm Springs on AI and medicine in front of a bunch of defense attorneys and risk managers.
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Uh and I'm a member of that group too.
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Um, so uh yeah, there's all of that you gotta do to get a mediation practice.
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That's just to become a mediator.
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Arbitration's even a smaller niche.
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So you've really got to have probably have I can I wouldn't be able to do that on my own.
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I'm gonna need help getting into that niche.
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Yeah, yeah, much less hard, much harder to get into to become a uh to get more mediation work is easier than our getting arbitration work.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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Yeah, when I when I first started mediating 18 years ago, um I had said, you know, that's like breaking into Hollywood.
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You gotta have an agent or you gotta know somebody, like somebody has to know somebody that needs to know somebody.
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Like you don't because because like you're mediating for you know, generally attorneys, right?
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And how like you can't just go cold call on a law firm, you're not getting past the paralegal, or even you're not even getting past the receptionists to get to the paralegal to get to the attorney.
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So it's like how so go circling all the way back to our conversation.
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Starting out in the courthouse is the best way because that's where you're gonna get the FaceTime before you can finally go private.
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And that's where most of my person my my private clients came from, our private attorneys found here through the courts.
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And they said, Hey, Paul, do you do private?
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Absolutely.
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And I always and I'm a and I'm a probably to the point of hey, Paul, stop it.
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I follow up.
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Right?
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I come there I I I try not to be too intrusive, but you know, hey, by the way, um, I settled that last case.
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We got any more, you know, and I might hit them again.
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Um and oh, you know what?
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Good.
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Thanks for thanks for reminding me.
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A lot of them are very friendly if they like you.
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I I ask them for recommendations or what did I do wrong?
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And I say, if you tell me I did great, I'm gonna put it on my website.
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If you tell me I did wrong, I'll take it to heart, but it's not going on my website.
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Little jokes, whatever.
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Of course, it's true.
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I'm not gonna put criticism on my but I listen if they say something.
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Ver fortunately, I get three of those.
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But most attorneys, um, when they find a good mediator, they'll they will they will hire you.
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Um, so yeah, exactly.
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But so I the courts not only help you make you a better mediator, they throw every kind of case at you, and you've realized that mediation is mediation regardless, although you have to pick a niche from a business standpoint.
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Um and you meet everybody.
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The best way to meet somebody, they get to see you mediate, and they'll yeah, and they'll either like you or not.
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But if they do, you get you got yourself a and of course, you know, that's how you get your name out.
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And it's the cheap there's no money involved.
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You're just except for your time, you volunteer for the court.
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So three hours of your time, and you got a solid connection with someone, and you got you got so much out of it.
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I tell people that even if you don't want to be a mediator, you'll learn how mediation works.
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It was eye-opening to see how other people do negotiating.
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Oh, sure, sure.
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Not because you know you sit and they're going, that's not what I would do, but okay, kind of work.
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Yeah, maybe you know, or oh boy, that's not gonna work, and it doesn't.
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You're sitting, you know.
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Yeah.
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So in California, so you're in California, I'm in Florida.
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So when you got, um, I mean, so is it is as a mediator, is it certification or is it approval or like how does what is the term that they use?
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The courts require a 40-hour uh class as a minimum.
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Hours is the same, 40 hours.
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Yeah, and that's the minimum to work for the courts.
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There is no certification whatsoever to be a private mediator.
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You don't have to be an attorney, you don't have to do anything.
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You could just say I'm a mediator.
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Now, there's a big push going where the state bar wants to regulate mediation of attorneys, and they're and they're talking about what kind of requirements they're gonna have in your education.
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Um so if you're a member of the state bar and you want to mediate right now, that's a big issue, and and there's a lot of people fighting that.
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Um but it could and and what I don't like about it, it doesn't apply to none, so I could just give up.
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If I didn't want to do their requirements, I would just give up my bar card and I could mediate.
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Sure.
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And it's a completely unregulated field.
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Now it's kind of like the lifeboat.
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Once I'm on, I don't want anybody else on.
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So yes, I went to Strauss, I've got more than they will ever ask for.
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Yeah, make those, you know, make the bar exam harder, make the medical boards harder than they ever were, right?
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But that's not but yes, I don't know what's gonna happen.
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That's a big issue right now in California.
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Uh whether the state.
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So in Florida, we're certified through the Florida Supreme Court.
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So there's a 40-hour course, then there's a mentorship program you've got to do under an existing mediator, and then they look, and then it's on a point system.
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So if you're already an attorney, you get so many points.
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If you're if you have a uh a uh uh let's see what it is, if you have a master's or a doctorate, that's so many points.
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If you speak it another language, that's so many points.
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So it's done on a point system.
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So you've got to do so.
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First you've got to have your education, then you've got to have your certification through the Florida Supreme Court, then you've got to do a mentorship, and then you could, and then you add up all your points, then you can finally start.
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And then um you've got to do continue in education to keep renewing your certification.
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Oh, wow.
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Um, and so uh now in Florida, anybody can mediate, but in order to mediate court-ordered, you've got to have a uh or you have to be certified to the Florida Supreme Court.
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What's interesting is as of 20, let's see, 2016, they proposed it, 2017, it became statute under House Bill 967.
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I think it's yeah, House Bill 967 is the Collaborative Law Process Act that then said everything everything goes to mediation by statute, um, which is awesome.
00:14:29.759 --> 00:14:34.080
Like it's continually beating, like you cannot get in front of a judge without mediation.
00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:40.159
But then in 2019, most of the judicial circuits started doing it by administrative order.
00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:46.159
So not only does the statute mandate that you go to mediation, but then you've got to go by judicial order.
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:54.320
And so technically, if it's statutory judicial order, you better be certified because otherwise you can't do it.
00:14:54.399 --> 00:14:56.159
I mean, you can, but you can't.
00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:04.000
And the clients are looking for the clients know because public knowledge knows you need a certified mediator.
00:15:04.159 --> 00:15:08.879
And so, in my opening statement, I am required, I'm required to do two things.
00:15:09.039 --> 00:15:16.399
First, I've got to say that I am a Florida Supreme Court certified mediator, and then they just passed a new rule.
00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:19.679
So there are rules in the statute for mediation.
00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:29.759
So we're governed under the Dispute Resolution Center in Tallahassee, um, where they've got their own rules and ethics and their board of reviews.
00:15:29.919 --> 00:15:34.559
If you violate the rules of mediation, you go before their board.
00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:39.039
Um, just like you know, a bar would then look at an attorney.
00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:46.720
You've got the rules of going, hey, you violated this ethics, we're imposing this or this sanction or whatever on you.
00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:48.159
And so, yeah.
00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:54.639
So and of course, I guess it it so you have to pay for that certification if you're like a license.
00:15:55.440 --> 00:15:55.919
Yeah.
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:56.480
Yep.
00:15:56.639 --> 00:15:56.960
Yep.
00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:57.840
You gotta pay.
00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:03.120
I mean, you gotta pay for the class, then then yes, you've then depending on what you're certified in.
00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:09.919
So I um I've been certified in county civil, family, appellate, and dependency mediation.
00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:18.480
Each of those certifications were a different 40-hour class and a different fee and a different continuing education.
00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:26.960
Some of their continuing education crossed over, but it was a lot of continuing education every, I think it's every three years.
00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:36.240
Um, I ended up, I just ended up, I think it was last year, 2025, I ended up letting my county civil go because I'm like, I'm not doing county civil.
00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:41.759
I don't have time for county civil because I'm doing 99% of my what I do is family.
00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:46.559
My other 1% is like foreclosure or fan or other family dispute.
00:16:46.720 --> 00:16:47.919
Like I had one the other day.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:58.320
It was a partition action with uh five siblings, and so it was boys against girls partition action of what they wanted to do with the father's land.
00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:04.480
And so, you know, so they brought me in it what it was a family dispute, but it wasn't family law.
00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:16.960
Um, so yeah, so so so I have kept and then I let my dependency certification go because when I did family, I thought dependency court was my missing link.
00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:25.680
Then found out that no dependency, like if you want to be a dependency mediator, you are a staff uh employee of the courthouse.
00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:28.160
That's the only place that dependency mediation takes place.
00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:32.640
And I'm like, okay, well, I'm not paying for this, I'm never gonna do it private.
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:41.440
You can't get a private dependency because you've got Department Children Family Services, the attorneys, the parents, caseworkers, that's all in the courthouse.
00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:45.759
So I just kept so now I just have my family and my appellate.
00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:48.960
Um and you're still doing 25 a month with that.
00:17:49.440 --> 00:17:49.920
Yeah.
00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:50.400
Okay.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:53.759
Yeah, I mean, I've done I've done 80 as of yesterday.
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.480
I've done 89 mediations this month.
00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:58.720
I've got 34 on the books at the moment.
00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.440
I mean, I'm doing, you know, about 200.
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:02.640
I'm doing about 230.
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:05.440
Last year I did 235 mediations.
00:18:05.599 --> 00:18:07.279
The year before that, 217.
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:09.359
The year before that, 238.
00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:12.880
So yeah, it's it's busy.
00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:14.799
And family is never ending.
00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:22.240
Family's never ending because because whether they're getting married or not, they're having sex, having babies, okay, it's non-stop.
00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:23.839
Well, you made repeat.
00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:24.960
It repeat business.
00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:28.880
So I was in my divorce before, and I need you to do my divorce again.
00:18:29.119 --> 00:18:34.160
The family law, so I did, I did a I took a class in family law mediation at at Pepperdine at Strauss.
00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:34.640
Okay.
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:44.559
And one of the things I learned was um the the two that the the people that taught it, um, they do they do short sessions because they know it's gonna be repeated.
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:47.680
They only say, okay, this mediation session, we're gonna do this.
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:50.960
So it's not like the cases I did one mediation, and if it works, great.
00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:54.079
If not, maybe we'll do a second session if some information is needed.
00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:59.920
But he goes, Oh no, I plan on working with this couple through this for the next year or however long it takes.
00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:04.000
It's gonna be we're gonna do uh alimony today, we're gonna do child support.
00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:10.799
Whatever issue is the most per important at that time, we're gonna trust that because you can't hit it all in family law at the same time.
00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:13.279
So it's like short bursts was how they did it.
00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:16.880
So that's completely opposite of reality.
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:18.319
Oh wow.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:26.079
It's it's you come to mediation, we're doing parenting, equitable distribution, alimony, child support, attorney's fees.
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:28.000
You're in, you're out, you're done.
00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:30.640
So how so how long does a mediation last then?
00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:33.200
It's gotta be so so what's interesting.
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:35.680
So so I've I've got my stats, I'll tell you.
00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:36.160
Okay.
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:40.079
So I have done 3,592 mediations.
00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:40.640
Okay.
00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:48.880
Um, I have mediated for 12,610.14 hours of my life.
00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:49.440
Okay.
00:19:51.119 --> 00:19:55.519
The average, Paul, is 3.75 hours.
00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:56.400
That's average.
00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:57.599
The average of all of it.
00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:00.640
I've been tracking it for you know for 18 years.
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:02.720
So the average of 3.75.
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:06.240
Sometimes now, rarely can you get anything done in under three hours.
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:13.039
It's it's I've done it, it's an anomaly, it can be done, but usually the average is 3.75.
00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:15.039
Usually it's like four to six hours.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:17.039
You can hit all those topics.
00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:18.000
Everything.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:18.720
Oh, yeah.
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:20.240
It's a well-oiled machine.
00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:20.799
Everything.
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:22.480
Wow, I'm amazed.
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:24.079
Everything.
00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:28.000
Because I think three hours short just on a PI case.
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:29.680
Oh, yeah.
00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:52.319
I mean, I mean, so so I have a three-hour minimum because nothing's gonna get done in three hours, like it's very rare, but most everything, like, yeah, I mean, you can hit like we we actually use what they call the P sa acronym, parenting per P, E is equitable distribution, A is alimony, C is child support, E is everything else, like catch-all.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:21:14.240
But yeah, I mean, and so so for mediation, I've got I've got, you know, I mean, I walk in and I've got my drafts, I've got parenting plans, I've got um, I've got MSAs, PSAs for the parent for you know, for paternity settlement agreements or the marital settlement agreements, I've got, you know, family law software to run alimony, equitable distribution, child support.
00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:16.000
And we're just going through everything.
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:22.960
And it's like, and well, in Florida, they've also they've judicially and statutorily made this really simple.
00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:30.319
Because for P, there's a rebuttable presumption that is 50-50 timesharing, 50-50 decision making.
00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:30.880
Done.
00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:33.039
That that's the rebuttable presumption.
00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:38.960
Equitable distribution, it's 50-50 data marriage, data filing, divide it up in half.
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:41.359
Alimony, need and ability.
00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:44.480
If you can prove need and ability, then there's 13 factors.
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:46.960
You can get to the factors, we now have a calculator.
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:50.000
Then we get to child support.
00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:52.240
It's based on income, time sharing.
00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:53.759
It's a calculation.
00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:55.200
Okay, we're done.
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:57.519
Like, what makes it?
00:21:57.759 --> 00:21:59.599
This goes back to our to our conversation.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:03.839
That we had previously to do a divorce is really simple.
00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:05.359
You know what makes it complicated?
00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:06.240
People.
00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:08.559
So would AI would AI help?
00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:09.279
I don't know.
00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:09.519
Yeah.
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:12.000
Because people make it complicated.
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:13.440
It's not complicated.
00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:34.400
It's really easy, but everything is different, which is why the courts say go to mediation, go with your mediator, who can then help you get creative to create an agreement you can live with, whatever it is, but go customize this for you and your family, and it's a lot of fun.
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:38.799
If you have if you ever want to watch, so I'm a hundred percent virtual.
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:39.359
Okay.
00:22:39.839 --> 00:22:42.799
If you ever want to watch, you are more than welcome.
00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:46.240
I was actually thinking I would like to see this as you were talking.
00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:49.920
I would be like, okay, you are more than welcome anytime.
00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:54.799
I will most likely take you up on that offer, and I will be a silent shadow as we call it.
00:22:55.039 --> 00:23:00.240
Well, so so so, Paul, that's how so again, going back to my certification.
00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:02.880
I'm required to keep my certification.
00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:06.880
I have to do X amount of mentorships each certification cycle.
00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:23.599
So the new mediators that are wanting to come out, and I've done a lot of mentorships for attorneys who are practicing attorneys, but they want to add mediation because eventually they want to get out, just like you said, they want to get out of litigation, get into mediation, or they want to retire.
00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:30.079
And you know, a lot of mediators are retired judges, retired lawyers, retired social workers, teachers.
00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:37.440
And so, you know, they're like, okay, well, let me get a you know, so for me, I always joke, people like Matthew, what are you gonna do when you retire?
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:40.319
I'm like, I've got a 20-year jump on it.
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:41.759
Like I'm already doing it.
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:42.319
That's right.
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:52.640
Like, this is this is what I do, but yeah, if you ever want to watch, like I it is a well-oiled machine, and I do, I do a lot.
00:23:52.799 --> 00:24:01.359
All right, so you used a word um we we call it pro say, you call it pro pur, which when they don't have attorney without an attorney, right?
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:03.440
So my private practice, I won't do any.
00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:09.680
Okay, I do a lot, I do about 20% of my business is no attorneys.
00:24:09.920 --> 00:24:11.839
You gotta watch one of those too.
00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:26.640
Okay, because that's what I get through the courts, and I I'll take them because I know I want to help the court, and those are the ones that are really gonna clog the system, but they are so difficult because it's you you you can't you have you can't be a lawyer.
00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:30.160
I tell them I'm not giving you advice, but you need a lawyer.
00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:32.720
And when you tell them they need a lawyer, they get mad just hearing that.
00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:34.319
And you're like, oh, but you really do.
00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:36.319
Oh, you have no idea what's going on here.
00:24:36.559 --> 00:24:45.680
So so so I have everything on my I have an entire web page on my website for pro peer or pro se people.
00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:55.599
It's got instructions, it's got all the paperwork, it's got audio tutorials of me to fill out your paperwork so that when they come to mediation, they have everything.
00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:04.960
I've had so this podcast, this is I give this to them when whenever they approach me and say, Hey Matthew, I want to hire you as a mediator, go listen to my podcast.
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:21.119
Because on the podcast, I they they will get a they'll get a minor in family law just listening to the podcast, but they'll come, they will come to mediation with knowledge, knowing how to negotiate, what to negotiate, and what to expect.
00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:26.640
And so I've managed their expectations before they ever see me, and we just go right through it.
00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:35.200
I have I have settled every single pro se pro per case I've ever had, except for one.
00:25:37.759 --> 00:25:42.000
Everyone, and what's interesting is I always I always joke, I'm like, you know what?
00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:50.400
When they're when they are representing themselves, there's nobody to get in the way, and they come because they want to get done.
00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:52.880
And it's a one and done session.
00:25:53.039 --> 00:26:00.799
I mean, in 18 years, most mediations are one, they're not multiple sessions.
00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:03.359
It's so I guess what I was saying is one and done.
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:09.359
The the way they were explaining it was like, okay, the kids are in grammar school, so they you get that issue taken care of, but then they're in junior high.
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:11.200
Now there's different things, so you end up with the same fan.
00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:14.480
So you do it once you build it out with all the expensive.
00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:16.319
You take care of all that at the one mediation.
00:26:16.559 --> 00:26:16.960
All of it.
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:18.160
All of it.
00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:19.519
All right, all of it.
00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:21.839
I gotta okay, I do have to see this.
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:23.599
Yeah, I mean, all of it.
00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:37.519
Like, I mean, and when I say all of it, I'm talking, you know, equitable distribution of all of their assets, liabilities, bank accounts, home, alimony, retirement accounts, child support, time sharing, decision making.
00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:40.480
I mean, the parenting plans are about 23 pages long.
00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:45.119
The MSAs are probably about 14, 15 pages long.
00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:49.200
But yeah, I mean, it and it's just let's just go.
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:51.839
Come on, let's just move this train, let's go.
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:53.680
It's a lot of fun.
00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:54.880
It's a lot of fun.
00:26:55.119 --> 00:26:57.359
I can tell you like it, that's for sure.
00:26:57.680 --> 00:27:01.359
Yeah, it's it's uh it's a lot of fun.
00:27:01.599 --> 00:27:07.519
I just figured you'd spend at least the first half just telling everybody, calm down.
00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:10.720
Okay, this is we're not here to hurt each other.
00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:13.119
We're uh we're here to wow, all right.
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:14.720
I gotta watch, I have to watch this.
00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:22.480
Yeah, I mean, and and and I'll tell you, even even when the attorneys are involved, you don't have to do that.
00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:26.960
Like, I guess so how do I put this?
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:29.039
Actually, okay, so you know what?
00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:40.480
I'll tell I will recite to you my opening because people people have said to me, they said, Matthew, from the beginning, you've just put me at ease and I've known what to expect and how this is gonna work.
00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:41.680
From the beginning.
00:27:41.839 --> 00:27:42.160
All right.
00:27:42.319 --> 00:27:44.640
So here's my opening statement, okay?
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:46.240
Hi, my name is Matthew.
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:47.519
I'm gonna be your mediator today.
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:49.759
I'm a Florida Supreme Court certified mediator.
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:51.279
I am not here to give you legal advice.
00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:54.160
I'm not here to tell you what you should or shouldn't do with your life.
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:58.960
I am here to first and foremost, most importantly, give you information.
00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:02.960
What you choose to do with that information, well, that's up to you because you're in charge.
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:06.160
I'm here to give you creative suggestions, but you don't have to listen to me.
00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:08.160
You can do what you want because you're in charge.
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:11.359
I am here to I am here to help you negotiate.
00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:14.240
I'm here to empower you as you negotiate.
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:18.400
I'm here to facilitate the negotiations, and I'm here to help you get through paperwork.
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:21.920
But the only paperwork that I'm going to give you is an agreement that you can live with.
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:28.400
If you can't live with the terms negotiating, I'm not even giving you an agreement to sign because my job is not to get you to sign an agreement.
00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:32.160
My job is to give you information so that you can make an informed decision.
00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:37.279
That decision is create an agreement you can live with, or go to court and let a judge decide for you.
00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:39.519
Either way, that's a choice and you're in charge.
00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:41.920
Everything we talk about is going to be confidential.
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:43.440
Nothing can be used in court.
00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:45.359
So we're just going to have a conversation.
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:55.200
Until something gets typed up, reviewed, and signed, we're just having a conversation and nothing can be used against you, except if I find out that you're abusing somebody or committing a crime, I have to report that.
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:58.000
But other than that, everything we talked about is going to be confidential.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:05.839
Now, finally, at the end of mediation, I have to file a mediation conference report, letting the judge know that you came to mediation and it can say either you agreed or you didn't agree.
00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:08.319
But that's up to you because remember, you're in charge.
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:10.160
And then finally, my goal.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:12.799
My goal as your mediator is different than my job.
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:18.240
Remember, my job is to give you information, empower you, negotiate, and to help you create an agreement.
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:19.920
Only one that you can live with, though.
00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:27.279
But my my goal is to help you get through this process as quickly, as inexpensively, and as peacefully as possible.
00:29:27.440 --> 00:29:30.880
But again, that's up to you because, well, you're in charge.
00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:33.839
Wow.
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:36.559
And so they are just at ease.
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:38.400
They're like, okay, let's have a conversation.
00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:38.960
Let's go.
00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:42.319
Now, they may cry, they may yell, they may get emotional.
00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:43.920
And it's like, yeah, I hear you.
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:46.559
I I can't argue with that.
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:47.440
I hear you.
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:52.480
But remember, like, this is not that difficult.
00:29:52.640 --> 00:29:57.359
Remember, the the statute has outlined this is what the courts generally will do.
00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:00.240
What do you want to do?
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:02.720
This is your life, and you don't have to agree to it.
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:06.720
And and and Paul, a lot of times I tell them, I say, look, you know what?
00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:08.480
Do you understand?
00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:10.000
And they're like, Yeah, I said, good.
00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:12.319
You don't have to like it, but you do need to understand it.
00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:13.359
That's a great line.
00:30:13.440 --> 00:30:13.759
Yeah.
00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:17.440
You don't have to like it, but you do have to understand it.
00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:21.759
And as long as you understand, I've done my job, because my job is to empower you.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:27.359
Not to, I said, you know, and and so this this background, I always get comments on my background.
00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:29.119
This is a giant wall canvas.
00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:32.960
And I saw this many years ago, and it just spoke to me as a mediator.
00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:38.160
And I and so I tell people, I said, My goal today is to help you if you choose, cross this bridge.
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:41.759
What we are not going to do is we are not going to jump off or throw anybody over.
00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:43.599
But you don't have to cross this bridge.
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:50.559
And we may get across the bridge, and you may decide that you want to come back over to this side, and that's okay because that's your choice.
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:54.000
Now, what's beyond this bridge, you have no idea.
00:30:54.079 --> 00:30:55.599
I do because I've walked this path.
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:58.160
I've walked this path many a times with many a people.
00:30:58.319 --> 00:31:05.759
I know what's on the other side of this, and so I'm going to help you create your documents to help you navigate the unknown that's on the other side.
00:31:05.920 --> 00:31:17.440
So as we go through your documents, as we create your parenting plan and your settlement agreement, it's going to describe what's on the other side, and it's going to be a tool to help you navigate what you where where where you've never been before.
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:18.559
Wow.
00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:20.240
That is okay.
00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:24.000
All right, now now you're you're you're selling me up.
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:25.200
I want to come see.
00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:25.680
I want to see.
00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:26.319
Yes, you do.
00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:27.279
Yeah, I gotta see this.
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:40.240
Yeah, you're like, Matthew, do you have one coming up like in five minutes so we can um but but yeah, I mean, so so you know, I mean, yeah, I mean, it's it's one and done.
00:31:40.480 --> 00:31:44.079
Um, now here's when it's not one and done.
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:59.039
When I set things up, I send out a letter of confirmation that says your name is the mediator, you know, here's here here's the price, and here, and here's all the required documents that you guys need to change.
00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:02.240
Do all your discovery and exchange of documents prior to mediation.
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:07.680
Mediation is not the time to be exchanging documents and looking at them for the very first time.
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:09.839
That's going to waste time and money.
00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:17.119
Then I attach that letter to then my login information to log on for mediation.
00:32:17.359 --> 00:32:21.039
And it says again, make sure you do all your discovery.
00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:24.400
Mediation is not the place to do discovery.
00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:29.759
Well, I can't tell you how many times, Paul, we're doing discovery and mediation.
00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:32.720
Oh, and that happens in my mediations too.
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:35.599
Yeah, because you're like, guys, it should have been done before.
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:36.960
Exactly, exactly.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:41.599
And so then we're like, okay, adjourn continuance or whatnot.
00:32:41.839 --> 00:32:45.359
But what's good is the parties know.
00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:46.720
Okay, you know what?
00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:47.839
They're not getting mad at me.
00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:49.039
Just like you said, like earlier.
00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:51.279
Like, sometimes it's like, look, I'm just the messenger.
00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:52.240
Don't shoot the messenger.
00:32:52.319 --> 00:32:56.720
I'm just conveying a message that they gave uh me to tell you.
00:32:56.880 --> 00:33:00.400
You know, I'm like, I'm like, look, you know, did you read your letter of confirmation?
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:05.279
Did you look at the email that had the login that got you to where you are today so we could have this conversation?
00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:06.240
What did it say?
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:07.599
Well, why did you do that?
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:09.119
I had this yesterday, Paul.
00:33:09.279 --> 00:33:13.359
I did their mediation in September of last year.
00:33:13.839 --> 00:33:22.880
My notes at the end of the notes, it says, get appraisals on four homes, go to temporary relief, temporary alimony, adjourn.
00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:24.960
They came back.
00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:28.160
It's May 2026, right?
00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:36.720
And they're sitting there, they did not, they did temporary relief, they did temporary alimony, nobody got appraisals.
00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:40.880
So, how can we settle who gets what property without appraisal?
00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:44.400
So they're like, Well, I guess we'll get appraisals before trial July 2nd.
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:50.160
It's like, okay, you're here to avoid July 2nd, but nobody did.
00:33:50.400 --> 00:33:54.640
And I'm like, and and so, and so I told them, I said, look, I'm not gonna waste your time and money.
00:33:54.799 --> 00:33:56.160
You haven't done your discovery.
00:33:56.319 --> 00:33:58.559
I can't help you negotiate in the dark.
00:33:58.799 --> 00:34:01.200
And you're and neither of you want to budge.
00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:02.000
So you know what?
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:04.400
Do you want to let you really want to let a judge figure it out?
00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:04.720
Yes.
00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:06.240
Do you really want to let a judge figure it out?
00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:06.559
Yeah.
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:15.440
Okay, then we're gonna call mediation and you can save your money because you're gonna need to pay your attorneys a lot of money because you failed to do your own discovery.
00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:18.800
And they're like, Well, I guess we'll get it done before trial.
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:20.320
I'm like, oh my gosh.
00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:37.519
Like and so those are the ones that then it's like, oh, okay, well, then yeah, we're gonna have an adjournment or continuance, but usually though, usually we're only adjourning usually for financial stuff, not for parenting stuff.
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:42.960
Like parenting stuff, like what do you need to know for parenting?
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:44.000
Nothing.
00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:45.920
That's easy.
00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:55.599
So yeah, yeah, it's it's it's uh it's an interesting animal.
00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:57.920
It it it really is an interesting now.
00:34:58.159 --> 00:35:04.480
What I found, you know, what I find fascinating is what I don't do, which it like is all the stuff you do.
00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:10.159
Like, you know, I'm fascinated with that because I'm like family law, that's just so like nothing.
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:15.840
Like, you know, now a lot of what we do bleeds over real estate because you know, family law and real estate law.
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:25.280
I mean, a lot of that's by saying, like, you have to learn, like, I don't know anything about you know community property and everything, but in real estate, it's the title, and then you have equitable ownership.
00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:26.800
You know, how much money did the person put in?
00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:28.639
Well, I put the new roof on it, you didn't.
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:32.159
I pay the property taxes, and that's and that's all straightforward law, too, to me.
00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:35.519
Well, but but none of that matters in family law.
00:35:35.599 --> 00:35:37.360
All that matters is guess what?
00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:42.079
You're both on it, you acquired it during the marriage, it's marital, it's it's all marital money.
00:35:42.559 --> 00:35:44.639
All of your income that went into putting the new roof on it.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:47.440
It doesn't matter, it was your income as a community, right?
00:35:47.679 --> 00:36:01.280
Yeah, the only thing, the only thing that's different though is let's say, for example, that the husband buys the house prior to the marriage, and then he puts her um and it never puts her on title, right?
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:04.000
And then it's his premarital property.
00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:08.320
But the problem is he's used marital funds to pay down his premarital.
00:36:08.559 --> 00:36:17.039
So we actually there was a case in Florida that was called Ka versus Ka, Ka versus Ka, that created what they call the coveture fraction.
00:36:17.119 --> 00:36:28.400
And so we have a passive appreciation calculator that will that all we need is we need four variables, and it'll carve out and tell us what is his premarital portion, what's the marital portion to divide in half.
00:36:29.199 --> 00:36:37.280
But we have, but that's built into our family law software that then we just say, okay, it's Paul's premarital property.
00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:42.239
Here is the value on date of marriage or uh acquisition, whichever is later.
00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:48.239
Here's the current value, here's the monthly pay down, here's the remaining balance.
00:36:48.320 --> 00:36:50.480
Okay, and it'll it'll do its coverture fraction.
00:36:50.719 --> 00:36:55.840
Say, okay, well, you know, here's the marital portion, this is his non-marital portion.
00:36:56.239 --> 00:37:00.880
But yeah, I mean, it it's it's mapped out for us.
00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:03.679
You you would like stuff like that.
00:37:03.840 --> 00:37:05.440
That would be a good idea.
00:37:05.599 --> 00:37:11.039
Well, that's why that's one of the things that I've always enjoyed about um personal injury, med mal.
00:37:11.679 --> 00:37:14.400
I don't even need Lexus or Westlaw or any case law.
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:15.599
It is just negligence.
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:19.440
It's all about the experts and the science, and I'm very comfortable in that area.
00:37:19.599 --> 00:37:25.360
I never needed to look anything up, and I always thought employment law, family law, I'm gonna have to learn a lot of law.
00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:25.920
Right?
00:37:26.239 --> 00:37:27.679
So, and I said, Oh boy.
00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:32.880
So, yes, I mean, family law, and I guess it's intimidating about those two areas to me.
00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:33.760
Yeah.
00:37:34.559 --> 00:37:40.400
And well, and and you know, and and family, I mean well, I mean, I all of them are constantly changing.
00:37:40.559 --> 00:37:43.920
So every year, you would you said like going to conferences and stuff.
00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:55.760
So we have the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers as their annual conference every year, and so I've been going to that almost forever.
00:37:55.920 --> 00:38:02.719
Um, only because number one, phenomenal networking FaceTime with the attorneys, right?
00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:11.760
But also, that's where we get all the case law updates, everything that's updated, plus you get the refresher, and so they hit everything you need.
00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:20.719
They hit equitable distribution, alimony, attorney's fees, you know, all the different pieces, the parenting plan, the paternity, all the different pieces.
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:37.440
And what's great is, you know, like the this uh earlier this year, it was at Disney, and it's like three or four ballrooms they open up, and everybody's just tables, and everyone is in the room, everyone's getting the same lecture at the same exact time and the same information.
00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:40.079
It's not like little classes you have to go to, right?
00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:48.960
And so it's really great because then, and so you can either get the two books of all the case law update.
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:51.280
I don't do books, so I have a PDF.
00:38:51.440 --> 00:39:00.320
So there's times like I was in mediation with an attorney a couple weeks ago, and both of us were like, they just talked about the new case law that just came out.
00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:05.679
We just opened up our PDF that has all the new case law, we just keyworded it, boom, we had it.
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:08.000
Showed opposing counsel, game over.
00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:09.920
We were done having that conversation.
00:39:10.239 --> 00:39:10.639
Nice.
00:39:11.119 --> 00:39:20.079
Okay, so yeah, I mean, and without ever going to Google, without going to Claude or Gemini or Chat GPT, like none of it.
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:31.360
Um so, but I mean, I guess I've just been doing like focusing on family for so long, like I know it like the back of my hand.
00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:32.639
It's like family is family.
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:34.000
It's it's intimidating.
00:39:35.039 --> 00:39:42.079
Yeah, no, it's intimidating to me because it's like a complete area of lion, nothing about which is why it would be fun to watch, right?
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:44.800
Yeah, I'm gonna I I'm I'm taking you up on that.
00:39:45.039 --> 00:39:47.280
You'll get an email right after this asking.
00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:53.280
Yeah, so all right, so uh this has been a great conversation.
00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:58.000
I always conclude with I always conclude with l with with with five questions, lightning round.
00:39:58.320 --> 00:39:58.639
Okay.
00:39:59.119 --> 00:39:59.760
Okay, ready?
00:39:59.920 --> 00:40:00.960
Ready to hit you with them?
00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:01.360
Sure.
00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:04.000
All right, so this one, all right.
00:40:04.079 --> 00:40:09.840
So of every guest I've ever had, this one I am most interested from you.
00:40:10.079 --> 00:40:10.719
Oh boy.
00:40:11.039 --> 00:40:11.360
Okay.
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:13.360
Well, here's why.
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:20.800
You've done a lot of different things, and you and you clearly love what you do, okay?
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:21.840
Oh, here's the point.
00:40:23.039 --> 00:40:25.760
If I don't like it, I change or I alter I alter it.
00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:28.079
That's exactly why I'd have done so many things.
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:28.800
Yeah.
00:40:29.039 --> 00:40:30.800
So here's the question, okay.
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:32.559
What's your dream job?
00:40:34.480 --> 00:40:35.119
Right?
00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:37.360
Now you know why I prefaced it like that.
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:38.000
Oh boy.
00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:40.079
But what's your dream job?
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:43.599
I think I've had them all, and and then until it's See?
00:40:43.920 --> 00:40:51.920
Yeah, I think I've done everything I kind of want to do, and if I haven't yet, um so right now it's mediation and arbitration.
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:55.760
It's but yeah, if you asked me that when I was in law school, it was being a lawyer.
00:40:56.000 --> 00:41:00.159
When you asked me when I was in medical school, so I think I've had them and my dreams change.
00:41:00.559 --> 00:41:10.639
And so I've always um But as you sit here today, right now it's it's it's mediation and and arbitration because of uh I I'm very comfortable doing it now.
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:12.639
I love that when the schedule's mine.
00:41:13.119 --> 00:41:17.119
Um it's a different dynamic, it's not so adversarial.
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:25.679
Well, yeah, I'm I grew up in New Jersey, I've been in California 30 years, but I still like to argue and fight and you know stick up for somebody and I want to win and all that.
00:41:25.760 --> 00:41:30.400
Um this is not like that at all, and it's actually refreshing after 20 years of litigating.
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:36.159
I I um I like watching, and there's that moment when you can see it's gonna settle.
00:41:36.480 --> 00:41:38.159
And it's like I know that moment.
00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:39.360
They weren't going anywhere.
00:41:39.440 --> 00:41:40.719
This is you know, I'm ready to walk.
00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:42.320
The other side's gotta be reasonable.
00:41:42.400 --> 00:41:42.880
Oh, stop.
00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:47.199
You're both saying you're both neither you both think you're being unreal, and then all of a sudden you can just see it.
00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:48.880
This is gonna settle.
00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:55.440
And that is such a satisfying feeling because I like to think that I took a big part in doing that.
00:41:55.679 --> 00:41:58.320
Yeah, and I know that they're gonna be satisfied.
00:41:58.400 --> 00:42:03.119
I would say two years from now, if you see your attorney in the supermarket, will you say hi and be happy about it?
00:42:03.199 --> 00:42:07.119
Or will you call this is this the attorney you're gonna call for everything from now on?
00:42:07.199 --> 00:42:08.719
They're like, Yeah, I think so.
00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:11.280
I'm not real happy today, but I see that.
00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:13.679
Yeah, boy, it was a good settlement then.
00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:15.440
Yeah, and I like that feeling.
00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:18.159
So, right now, that this is my dream job right now.
00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:19.280
That's awesome.
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:21.119
All right, so uh favorite type of music.
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:22.639
Yeah, yeah.
00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:24.719
Favorite type of music.
00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:30.159
Um everything but opera and classical.
00:42:30.719 --> 00:42:32.159
So no classical?
00:42:32.400 --> 00:42:37.039
I don't like classical music, other than when it goes along with as a soundtrack to Bugs Bunny or the Looney Tunes.
00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:41.119
Um well I don't that's why I'm like no classical.
00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:42.639
That's my extent of classical.
00:42:42.960 --> 00:42:44.400
Yeah, that's where I learned it all.
00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:47.039
Yeah, minute vaults by chopping.
00:42:47.360 --> 00:42:48.159
Smugs funny.
00:42:49.119 --> 00:42:54.400
But um I like I listen to a lot of um what they call space age pop or exotica.
00:42:54.880 --> 00:42:59.760
Um like almost like loun that's what I'm have going when I'm working for some reason.
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:07.679
I I I can't like I like 70s rock if I'm in my garage working on projects like think yeah, carpentry or stuff like that.
00:43:07.840 --> 00:43:19.599
But if I'm working in my office, my office probably hates me for it, but we're listening to Bossa Nova and what we call space age pop, bachelor pad music, bird baccarat and that whole era.
00:43:20.079 --> 00:43:23.199
Um that's probably my favorite.
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:24.639
I had to pick one.
00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:27.840
All right, um, favorite food.
00:43:28.559 --> 00:43:31.280
Anything Italian, especially lasagna.
00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:32.480
It's gotta be.
00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:34.800
Yeah, lasagna is my favorite Italian.
00:43:35.119 --> 00:43:37.280
I can I can eat Italian food every day.
00:43:38.079 --> 00:43:41.599
Of course I'd be bigger than I am now, but I'm working I am working on this.
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:44.079
I am it's always a work in progress.
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:44.960
I'm a bodybuilder.
00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:46.719
I built this body all by myself.
00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:49.760
Trying to un trying to unbuild it now.
00:43:50.159 --> 00:43:50.559
Yeah.
00:43:51.119 --> 00:43:51.679
All right.
00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:59.360
If you could have uh in the same vein of food, if you could have a meal with one person living or dead, who would it be and why?
00:43:59.519 --> 00:43:59.599
Oh
00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:00.960
Jesus.
00:44:01.440 --> 00:44:05.280
I'd wanna I'd of course I'd wanna I'd want I'd want to have met Jesus and see.
00:44:05.599 --> 00:44:05.840
Okay.
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:09.920
Don't know if it would, you know, ha ha whatever like a one-on-one dinner.
00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:10.800
Oh my goodness.
00:44:11.039 --> 00:44:12.639
Yeah, that's that's always been an easy one.
00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:18.079
We all thought if you could meet one person in history, regardless of whether it's eating or not, I just want yeah.
00:44:18.639 --> 00:44:21.199
I'd want to see Jesus myself.
00:44:21.599 --> 00:44:21.920
Okay.
00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:25.039
At the time he was walking the earth, be there and see all that.
00:44:25.119 --> 00:44:26.800
Yeah, that's that's an easy one.
00:44:27.199 --> 00:44:28.320
Time machine go back.
00:44:28.639 --> 00:44:29.360
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:29.679 --> 00:44:31.039
Be part of the feed of the five thousand.
00:44:31.360 --> 00:44:33.119
And he would know I was a time machine because he knows everything.
00:44:33.199 --> 00:44:34.239
He'd be like, hey you.
00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:36.800
And he would speak to me in English, like perfect English.
00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:39.679
And be like, yeah.
00:44:40.239 --> 00:44:41.760
Paul, you're not supposed to be here.
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:42.559
Right.
00:44:43.039 --> 00:44:46.239
Or or or he'd be like, I knew you'd be here.
00:44:46.400 --> 00:44:48.480
Yeah, well, yeah, he'd I was waiting for you.
00:44:48.719 --> 00:44:49.280
Right on time.
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:51.280
It's like right on time.
00:44:51.679 --> 00:44:52.159
All right.
00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:58.320
Um, if you could live anywhere in the world with your family, where would you live and why?
00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:06.239
I know this sounds like I'm um being fake because you live in Florida Florida.
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:07.760
Florida?
00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:10.559
Yeah, my wife grew up here in Chino, uh in the dairies.
00:45:10.880 --> 00:45:11.599
She's a dairy girl.
00:45:11.679 --> 00:45:15.119
She grew up on a dairy in Chino, which is now mostly track homes, if you can imagine.
00:45:15.599 --> 00:45:18.000
Uh we live in we live that's where we live now.
00:45:18.239 --> 00:45:25.760
Um but um I've I used to I grew up in New Jersey, we used to go to Florida for you know spring breaks and things like that.
00:45:26.400 --> 00:45:33.519
Um California's extremely expensive, and I'm not real happy with the politics here and and and how it how it's going.
00:45:33.679 --> 00:45:36.639
Um but Florida would probably be a great place.
00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:39.519
Uh but I'm not sure where you're at.
00:45:39.679 --> 00:45:43.679
All I know is anywhere more than 10 miles inland, you're gonna be dying from mosquitoes and bugs.
00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:46.000
I don't ever want to like the nice thing about Southern California, no bugs.
00:45:46.079 --> 00:45:48.320
I can go outside during the summer and sit outside New Jersey.
00:45:48.400 --> 00:45:49.920
You couldn't sit in your own backyard.
00:45:50.079 --> 00:45:52.480
And I know that that's how it is as soon as you get a little bit inland.
00:45:52.559 --> 00:45:56.239
So it would have to be on one of the two coasts, and it would have to be where ocean breeze comes out.
00:45:56.400 --> 00:45:57.519
I'm on the east coast.
00:45:57.760 --> 00:45:59.199
Yeah, I'm on the east coast.
00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:01.440
I'm I'm just north of West Palm Beach.
00:46:01.599 --> 00:46:02.400
I know where that is.
00:46:02.639 --> 00:46:07.519
One of my good friends, my my uh good friend from medical school was a is a neurosurgeon.
00:46:07.679 --> 00:46:11.440
He started practicing down in Palm Beach and lasted a few years down there.
00:46:11.519 --> 00:46:14.960
Then he moved to Indiana, uh, Louisville, Kentucky.
00:46:15.039 --> 00:46:17.360
Uh he likes the teaching, he liked the whole teaching thing.
00:46:17.599 --> 00:46:18.639
So he ended up doing that.
00:46:18.719 --> 00:46:21.039
But yeah, he we we we visited him in Palm Beach.
00:46:21.119 --> 00:46:22.639
Beautiful, yeah, yeah, really nice.
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:24.159
I yeah.
00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:29.440
Yeah, we're in a we're I'm about 35, about 35 miles north of Palm Beach.
00:46:29.599 --> 00:46:29.760
Okay.
00:46:29.920 --> 00:46:31.599
Um, but yeah, right on the coast.
00:46:31.679 --> 00:46:33.360
Yeah, I'm I'm not I'm the same way.
00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:40.159
I'm like, if you move to Florida so that you can live in the middle of the state, you might as well just move to Oklahoma or Texas or something.
00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:41.039
Like, why?
00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:41.519
Yeah.
00:46:41.679 --> 00:46:45.679
Um I mean, it's just like I want that ocean breeze.
00:46:45.760 --> 00:46:52.719
I want to be a little bit more than a lot of I've been to Disney World and I've done the swamp tours and all that, and fun place to visit, but I can't imagine living in it.
00:46:53.039 --> 00:46:55.599
But the coasts of Florida, beautiful, the water's always warm.
00:46:55.760 --> 00:46:57.360
California water is surprisingly cold.
00:46:57.519 --> 00:47:00.960
People don't realize that when you come out to Southern California, even in the summer, the water's chilly.
00:47:01.119 --> 00:47:01.519
It's cold.
00:47:01.679 --> 00:47:03.039
Yeah, yeah, it's cold.
00:47:03.199 --> 00:47:05.119
Yeah, so that's the Atlantic.
00:47:05.360 --> 00:47:07.679
But my daughter, you know, Atlantic versus the Pacific.
00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:10.239
You guys have here, they love Southern California.
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:11.519
I don't think they're ever gonna leave.
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:18.320
You know, my daughter likes to surf, my son likes to camp, you know, but they grew up here, so they don't know anything about California.
00:47:18.559 --> 00:47:19.440
I got to see California.
00:47:21.360 --> 00:47:26.639
Yeah, my my kids grew up in Florida, they don't know anything about Florida, you know, except for vacations and stuff.
00:47:26.800 --> 00:47:30.239
But right, yeah, they they both grew up here, they're still here.
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:32.239
They're like, yep, we love it.
00:47:32.480 --> 00:47:35.119
So, Paul, it's been great chatting with you.
00:47:35.199 --> 00:47:35.519
Thanks for having me.
00:47:35.679 --> 00:47:36.239
Staying here, it's great.
00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:36.960
Thank you so much.
00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:38.480
I appreciate this opportunity.
00:47:38.719 --> 00:47:46.000
And as I I learned so much about family law from you now, and yes, I'm gonna uh you'll get an email saying, hey, what the fuck?
00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:51.599
Give me a few of your mediations that you wouldn't mind me sitting in on, and uh I'll sign in.
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:52.320
Thank you so much.
00:47:52.719 --> 00:47:53.039
Absolutely.
00:47:53.679 --> 00:47:55.119
All right, you're welcome.
00:47:55.360 --> 00:48:11.440
Okay for more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChat Mediation virtual platform, built by Cisco Communications, visit me online at imediating.com.
00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:26.559
Call me at 561-262-9121, or free at 877-822-1479, or email me at MBRman at iChatMediation.com.