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Can we truly love someone without expecting anything in return? Is unconditional love possible, or is every expression of love influenced by our own desires and expectations?
In this episode, a questioner explores a timeless debate among philosophers, psychologists, and religious thinkers. While some believe that all human actions contain an element of self-interest, others point to parental devotion and the compassion of great spiritual teachers as examples of unconditional love.
Seuseungnim offers an unexpected answer: what we commonly call love may not be true love at all.
He explains that love cannot be created simply because we want to love someone. True love develops naturally when two people treat each other properly, understand one another, and sincerely work toward each other's well-being.
According to Seuseungnim, what we often experience at the beginning of a relationship is liking rather than love. We feel attracted to someone because they listen to us, understand our feelings, or make us happy. These pleasant experiences create a strong emotional connection that we may mistake for lasting love.
But what happens after marriage?
Seuseungnim describes how couples who once listened attentively to each other may gradually become stubborn, demanding, and unwilling to compromise. Instead of trying to understand their partner, they begin expecting the other person to satisfy their own desires.
When expectations and selfishness replace understanding and consideration, the feelings that once brought two people together begin to fade.
He explains that genuine love requires something much deeper than attraction or affection. Through the Jungbub principle of 3:7, Seuseungnim teaches that when two people sincerely invest themselves in their relationship and reach a certain level of mutual understanding and effort, true love can begin to blossom.
From that point forward, love continues to grow as both people support one another, share life's difficulties, and make steady efforts to improve their relationship.
Seuseungnim describes this kind of love as a profound bond that, within his spiritual teachings, can continue even beyond physical death.
The central message is that love is not something we can demand, possess, or force into existence. It is something we cultivate through the way we live together.
Ultimately, this episode challenges us to reconsider what it means to love another person. Perhaps true love is not measured by how strongly we feel about someone or how often we say, “I love you,” but by how sincerely we listen, understand, and contribute to each other's happiness and growth.
Are we simply enjoying the feeling of being loved, or are we making the effort necessary for genuine love to grow?
Real questions. Deeper understanding. Wisdom for life.
