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Hi there.
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Welcome to Life Between Coasts, the podcast where we dive into our personal journeys connected through synchronicity.
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So grab your coffee, light a candle, and let's begin.
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I'm your host, Leah, and we're glad you're here.
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Today we're just going to reminisce about the season a little bit and some of the things that have changed.
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You know, we started out on March 26, 2025, with a message of just trying to connect people through synchronicity specifically.
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But one of the things that I've I've I've noticed is that word might be a little bit lost.
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It's not that, you know, we're dumb or anything, but it's just that the definition isn't as understood, that meaningful connection or the meaningful coincidence, you know, the thing that doesn't have a cause or effect, but it seems like the planets align for us.
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But what the what the show has really evolved to is just seeking common ground.
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We're looking to just show that we're more alike than we're different through each of our stories.
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And it's made me understand a lot more about humanity, about people, about the struggles that we go through, and and and how we need to start to embrace each other more, lift each other up, and and how we can do this as being part of the human race.
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There's a lot of patterns and themes that keep appearing throughout the show.
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Um there's a lot of religion things, there's about the lot of um, or religious, I should say, you know, about talking to God, about um having him in your life, or rejecting religion altogether.
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Uh there's been a lot of conversation about illness.
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There's been conversation about um losing people, about transition.
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Um, but each time, one of the common themes that we're seeing is that we're resilient.
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We are, and that we can do anything if we come together.
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The core message that we're trying to deliver to you is that, again, we are more alike than we are different.
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And it doesn't matter what our culture is, it doesn't matter what color we are, it doesn't matter where we were born, how big a bank account might be.
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I wish mine was bigger, of course, but come on, right?
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But it just it's just the fact that we're human is what connects us.
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There are several things that I want to talk about today.
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And so I made a list just to keep me straight.
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And one, and really what it is, it's just things that we can put into action right now, every single day, as we come into contact with other people in our lives, strangers, family members, acquaintances.
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But these are things that we can do on a daily basis, on you know, in a moment's notice.
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That's the beautiful thing of it.
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So the first thing that I'd like to challenge you to do with me is to stop talking about the weather.
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So this is something that I just I recently kind of started on over the last few weeks, um, maybe a month by now.
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Um, but inside the tax office, you know, we we talk about things, we talk about deep stories.
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And one of the things that I always say is that is that my clients are are basically naked in front of me when they when they show me their their financials, right?
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So I know a lot about them.
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And sometimes they tend to like blurt things out.
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Unexpected.
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Um, but sometimes they just needed to get something off their chest.
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So that makes me feel confident that I'm making them feel better in whatever their position might have been at that very moment.
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The fact that they needed to release something and get it off of their chest, that makes me just feel that I was able to help them in some other way than just doing taxes.
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Um, that when somebody leaves my office, even if they have a balance due, that they leave smiling, that the that they leave uplifted, that the experience that they've had with me has been a bright spot in their day, not a negative, oh my God, I gotta go do taxes.
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I don't know how many people tell me that when they tell somebody else that doesn't use my services, oh, I'm gonna go do my taxes.
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And and that person on the other receiving end, let's say, will say, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, that must be stressful, or that, oh no, I get to go see Leah.
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That's the response.
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I get to go see Leah.
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And that is why I do what I do.
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One of the things that I have with each of those clients that come in to see me is a connection, right?
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We have a rapport that we've built.
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They could come back, you know, from five years ago and and I can say, well, how's how's your dog?
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and give their name, or how's this, or how's your parent, or how's how's something that I know about you because we've developed that friendship or or that acquaintance and and that foundation of knowing each other.
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But how do you do that when you don't know somebody?
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How do you develop that rapport?
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How do you lift somebody when they're a complete stranger?
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So that's called stop talking about the weather.
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In Michigan, that's something that we always do, right?
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We talk about the weather.
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You know, oh, it's raining now, wait five minutes, the sun will come out.
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That's what we say.
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Oh, it's beautiful, the sky's blue, it's gorgeous, it's a beautiful summer day.
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We'll say that casually as we're checking out for gas or the at the grocery store.
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Oh, we hope you get out of work soon so you can enjoy how wonderful that day is out there.
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But what if we stopped?
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What if we stopped for just one minute and listened to the song that might be playing overhead on the radio or on that speaker and stop for that one second and say, Wow, I haven't heard that song in forever.
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Maybe it was your high school graduation or your high school prom, or maybe it's a reminiscent of your first dance from your wedding, or maybe there's no specific reason that that that song ties to you, other than the fact that you like it and you like the beat.
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You know, but all you have to do is mention that one song and you will get a response from that stranger on the other side.
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And they'll either say that they don't like the genre of music, or they're gonna say that, yes, oh, that that song brings back memories for me too.
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They like this artist, or they like that song from that artist.
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Now we've begun to crack that egg, right?
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So now we're cracking that egg and we're saying, you've just found out a personal thing about that complete stranger, and they just found out something about you.
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Now, when you leave that experience, the difference in just paying for your gas, going and pumping it and moving on with your day, whatever your mood may have been, you're now elevated just a little bit.
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Your endorphins start to flow, you have a smile on your face, and you have a little pep in your step.
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Wow, I just made a connection with a human.
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It's that simple.
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And now the next connection you make with another human is going to be that much better for you because you're already happy.
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You're smiling, you're now humming that song in your brain.
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You're like, oh, today is going to be a great day.
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And now your disposition changes, and everybody that comes into contact you, contact with you, is going to get that pleasant, that happy, that kindness that is just going to spill out of you, and they're going to receive that.
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And when they receive that, they're going to pass it on to the next person.
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This is about putting it into action, not just posting about it on a social media site.
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Be kind, be happy.
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This is actually doing it.
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And that's what's so important about it is talk to a stranger.
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Stop talking about the weather.
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That's what we do.
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But stop doing it now.
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Start talking about the music.
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Make that connection because you know, we need it.
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We need it more than anything right now.
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And while doing it, give grace.
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That's a big thing.
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You don't know where that person has come from.
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You don't know what they're doing at home, what they're struggling through.
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You don't know if they have a sick child.
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You don't know if they're going through a divorce.
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You don't know if they're sick themselves, but they have to work because they need to keep a roof over their head.
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So if you just take a few seconds to give that person some grace before you attack them or verbally come after them because something is wrong or bad in your day, think about what the other person might be going through.
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Because if you were going through those same things, you would want some of that grace to be given to you as well.
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I think, you know, here's a specific example.
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I talk a lot about my mister, right?
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I talk about our relationship, or at least bits and pieces of our relationship.
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But what I don't talk about is all of the struggles and all of the differences of let's call it opinion that we've had over the last, say, eight months of our relationship.
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So, you know, we started having some breakdowns and things, let's say September, eight months ago.
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And then it just slowly snowballed into bigger fights, uh, more frustration.
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Um, a lot of that that that I think all of us had been through and and feel, right?
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So in January, I had made a conscious decision that I was going to end my relationship with my mister, that I was gonna break up with him, that I was done.
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Nearly 18 years, I was done.
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I've had enough, I'm not gonna do it anymore.
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And that was that.
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Things progressively, of course, got worse because at this point now I'm extremely busy with my profession.
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And I'm overwhelmed by my personal life because that's on my brain as well.
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And that probably is what a lot of people didn't see when they came into my tax office.
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They always saw a smiling, happy person that was thankful that they were sitting there in front of me.
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But behind closed doors, behind my smile, there was the, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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I knew I needed to get through my season.
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I knew it wasn't going to happen until the end of April, May, somewhere in there, somewhere over the summer.
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It was gonna take a lot to break up with him.
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You know, even though we're not married, we're very heavily invested in each other.
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And so I was going through all of these motions and I was having so much frustration.
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I wasn't getting anywhere.
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Here, he was going out a couple nights a week.
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Fine, you know, it's not that that's a fact of going out.
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Um, it was it was the absence of him in my life that I was feeling.
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And so I at the beginning of March, as you all know, I speak with my my spiritual guide, um, Kanika, and and I walked through all of that with her.
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And she said in a follow-up email to me, now that you have made peace with ending your relationship, she never said you're absolutely going to end your relationship.
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She said, now that you've made peace with ending your relationship, these are the next steps that you need to do to make sure that you're taken care of.
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And then a couple days later, something rocked my world beyond belief.
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To the point that I had a physical and emotional breakdown.
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My body was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't stop crying.
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I I just I was just so absolutely shaken to the core.
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And then without going into detail, the the effects of what happened two days after my conversation with Kanika changed my relationship in a whole 180-degree turn or 180-degree flip or whatever, opposite of what it is or was.
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And this page was flipped and and I realized that I didn't want to break up with him, but I knew that my heart missed him.
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I knew that my heart was lonely for him.
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Now this all ties into that giving grace, because again, what you're hearing from me is is something that the people in my front office didn't get to see because I didn't let them.
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And strangers aren't gonna let you see that either.
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So that's why it's so important to give that grace, extend that grace to your fellow human.
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Because there were 10 words that I did at one point repeat to my mister.
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And he kind of missed the mark when I first said them to him, but he's quite starting to understand what they mean.
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And those ten words are you've never been on the receiving end of you.
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So think about that.
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Any argument you've had, any tantrum you've thrown, any rudeness you've given, any kindness, any happiness, any joy, but you've never received yourself.
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So if if you take a moment maybe and look in the mirror before giving that message to somebody and see how it looks, see how it feels when it's pointed directly at you, and then think again before coming at somebody.
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It's all about remembering or or or reminding ourselves to respond and not react.
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Nothing gets done when we react.
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It's the response because a response starts communication, and when communication can be had, decisions can be made and things can be put into motion.
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So after my reaction with my mister, we started to respond to each other.
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In fact, we went as far as signing a covenant to be dedicated to each other for 45 days.
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Part of that was him not going to the bar to see his friends on those two nights a week.
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Because what he didn't realize was that that 90 minutes each night of those two nights were the best time that he was giving of himself to his friends.
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And because I chose not to be there, I was missing out on it.
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Because the part that I got at the end was when he would come home, have dinner, and then fall asleep on the couch.
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So I became resentful that they were stealing his time from me.
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And it's not that they were stealing the time, but it was the fact that he was disengaged from me.
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He was the result of my loneliness.
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Because even with connection, loneliness still exists.
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You can be alone or you can not be alone and still be lonely.
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I'm surrounded by people every day.
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So when I say I'm lonely, people are how can you be lonely?
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Everybody's around you.
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Well, no, I'm lonely because the one connection that I wanted the most was with my mister, and he wasn't there to give it to me.
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Loneliness is a huge problem these days.
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And let me tell you about the actual definition.
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So the Oxford Dictionary defines loneliness as the feeling of being unhappy because of lack of friends or companionship.
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It's characterized as sadness that results from being forsaken or abandoned, or a poignant feeling of isolation or solitude.
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It is distinct, I'm sorry, it is distinct from simply being alone, focusing on the subjective, emotional experience of social disconnection.
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So even though he wasn't he was living in the same house with me.
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We're having dinner throughout the week, we work together, we, you know, so we're always together, but it was the the emotional or the the relationship side of our of our partnership.
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We chose to work together early on, right?
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And and and so the part that I think that I didn't realize was that I no longer wanted to work with him because somewhere along the line, I became the employee.
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And so we had to come to this realization.
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So going back to this covenant, so we signed this, and one of the things that I had a problem with early on, and I'll let you in a little bit uh into my into my way of handling things is I'm very direct about what I need and what I want right now.
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And the first few days of covenant that we signed, he he he was up in arms.
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He signed it willingly, but then acted like a teenager that was grounded by his mother.
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Well, I don't want a relationship like that, right?
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So I ripped it up and said, fine, go have a beer with your friends.
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That's fine.
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Our relationship is over then.
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Because here's the thing: if he wasn't willing to participate in healing my loneliness, and I had to go out and heal my loneliness for me and not us, then he wasn't going to be in the picture.
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And he realized that.
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Right?
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So we so we turn that page.
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So now he understands that it was being present.
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He understands that it's the time because life is short.
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There's a ticking time clock for all of us.
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We just don't know when it ends.
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We need to take and value each moment we have here and and and be present with the people that are with us and in front of us and and part of us.
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And he recognized that.
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And so now he honors without now a ripped up covenant, but he still recognizes what was in it and is willing to hold by it to make sure that our relationship survives.
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Loneliness again, it's it's way more common than we think.
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But I think if we talk about it out loud, if if we say I'm lonely, then that helps to break it up in our in our in our body.
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It helps to dissolve that feeling.
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If we wake up and we say, I'm lonely, I need this.
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And as many of you know, I'm not religious and spiritual.
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Um, I believe in a higher power, but I'm I'm not gonna go into the house of God.
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Um, but there is that story, that story of Leah and Rachel.
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I think most people know.
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Um, Leah was the unloved or the hated wife.
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Uh, she was the lonely one, the the one that they would uh describe as weary um or weak-eyed, and and that Rachel was beautiful and glorious.
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And the story goes that that their father, of course, had their um had Jacob work for him for seven years for the love of Rachel.
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And on the night that they were to be married, he switched them out and provided Leah because his excuse was the elder daughter had to marry first.
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And of course, after that, and he discovered that that he married the uh the other sister the next day.
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He was, you know, pleading with with the father, Le Bun, that he um he was tricked.
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And so he was also given Rachel as as his wife with another promise of seven years of of labor.
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Um, but during all of this, the story of Leah is that she was unloved, that she was, I wouldn't say hated, but in essence, that that she wasn't being treated properly, and that God saw this and he intervened and he allowed her to give birth um multiple times.
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And and and by the fourth child, she gave her life to God, and then she was responsible for for the the priestly and royal lines um that lead us down to everything else, and and one of the things that in conversation this season, um Bridget, that she said was that those conversations that you can have conversations hard conversations with God, and you can say whatever you want, and you can be mean and you can yell and you can scream and and and he can handle it.
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And I gotta say, you know, there's tying to that story, it it always felt like why?
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Why did I have to go this path?
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Why did I lose my family?
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Why did you take this from me?
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Why did I have to give up my womb?
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There's a reason for everything, right?
00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:30.039
And so, not even just a couple weeks ago, a week before my interview with Bridget, I had that conversation, that hard conversation that most people never witness.
00:25:30.599 --> 00:25:34.359
Um, but the screaming, the the why do you hate me?
00:25:35.799 --> 00:25:37.559
Why would you do this to me?
00:25:44.519 --> 00:25:45.879
But I understand why.
00:25:46.359 --> 00:25:53.319
Because after my conversation with Bridget, I understand that there's a purpose.
00:25:54.759 --> 00:26:03.559
And maybe I didn't have to maybe I had to go through those things to be able to say that I know what you're going through, that I've been there.
00:26:06.279 --> 00:26:11.879
I've I've been through transitions, I've been through death, I've been through illness.
00:26:14.359 --> 00:26:16.119
I can relate to you.
00:26:16.359 --> 00:26:22.359
And if you look at all of the voices that we've had on the show, I can relate to everybody that we've had here.
00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:29.079
All it took was me to sit down and have a conversation, and then we can find those similarities.
00:26:29.559 --> 00:26:33.240
All it take will take for you is to do the same thing.
00:26:35.559 --> 00:26:37.960
We need to start peeling back the labels.
00:26:39.639 --> 00:26:43.079
In the conversation I had with Allah, he said, we're the same.
00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:47.879
We were just teenagers hanging out at the mall, except where we happen to be in Saudi Arabia.
00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:53.480
We still have Starbucks, we still have Dunkin' Donuts, all of that fun stuff, right?
00:26:53.639 --> 00:26:56.919
But but we're still teenagers hanging out.
00:27:00.759 --> 00:27:05.079
We need to take away the the the differences.
00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:09.000
Labels highlight differences.
00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:15.079
Labels create distance.
00:27:19.240 --> 00:27:23.480
Just because I'm that one thing doesn't mean that we can't be friends or acquaintances.
00:27:26.039 --> 00:27:37.720
Money, how we judge success, who's rich, who's poor, identity, roles, titles, culture, language.
00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:47.720
We need to see each other as human, not where we've come from, not what language we speak, not what color our skin is.
00:27:48.759 --> 00:27:50.279
A couple little stories.
00:27:50.599 --> 00:28:03.799
So when my mother first started working full-time, um, again, it was in my teenage years, she was uh she was working in a city called Troy.
00:28:03.879 --> 00:28:09.319
And of course, they have um the Somerset Collection, which always was the well-to-do mall, you know, the the bookends.
00:28:09.399 --> 00:28:16.519
This is before they built the north side, but the bookends of this this specific mall was very small, but it was Saks Fifth Avenue and Neeman Marcus.
00:28:19.879 --> 00:28:23.799
Obviously, you know, we've talked about my my growing up.
00:28:24.279 --> 00:28:27.079
We didn't have like a ton of money or anything like that.
00:28:27.240 --> 00:28:35.000
But one of the things that my mom did when she started working in Troy, she would go and walk the mall, uh especially in the winter months, just to you know keep active.
00:28:35.079 --> 00:28:36.919
So that would be on like on her lunch break.
00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:44.039
And so one day she was in there and and she decided to to apply for the credit card at Nima Marcus, and she got it.
00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:47.480
So here she has her, you know, Nemo Marcus gold card.
00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:58.759
And I think that was one of the best experiences that she was, or not even experience, but let's call it a lesson.
00:28:59.319 --> 00:29:18.519
The best lesson that my mother was able to teach me was that no matter where I came from or how big my bank account was, that when I walked into that store, I was human.
00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:21.960
I was the same as anybody else there shopping.
00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:29.079
Now, I could afford a lot less than what most of the people there shopping was could definitely afford.
00:29:29.319 --> 00:29:36.679
But she showed me that, you know, I I needed a a small black top, for instance, for um for choir.
00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:38.919
It was for one of the shows.
00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:41.319
And she took me there.
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:46.599
And so we walked in, and one of the sales ladies had helped us and and said, What are you looking for?
00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:51.879
She could identify my size because she knew exactly, you know, this was her career.
00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:54.039
This is she dressed people for a living.
00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:55.240
So she knew.
00:29:55.639 --> 00:30:07.159
And she picked a couple shirts up and placed me into a uh a dressing room and then proceeded to circle the store and pick up every single other black top that she thought that would work for my situation.
00:30:07.639 --> 00:30:12.039
So then I didn't have to go out and and and go through the racks and things like that.
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:16.519
And that was the first time I'd ever experienced service like that.
00:30:18.599 --> 00:30:22.839
Carrying a teenage high schooler that, you know, come on.
00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:24.440
Right.
00:30:25.639 --> 00:30:32.759
But it showed that no matter my lot in life, that we still can be good to each other.
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:35.000
They didn't know if I was wealthy or not.
00:30:35.159 --> 00:30:38.519
They just they knew that they were going to make a sale.
00:30:38.759 --> 00:30:40.919
How little or how big, it didn't matter.
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:43.079
They were still going to make a commission.
00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:45.079
And they were going to take care of us.
00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:49.879
And then when they didn't have the size of something that I was looking for, they were able to order it.
00:30:50.519 --> 00:30:54.599
But it just shows that again, it doesn't matter where you come from.
00:30:55.159 --> 00:31:02.440
It just matters that that we respect each other and that we're kind to each other and we're willing to take care of each other.
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:07.639
Another story about culture, specifically language in this one.
00:31:07.879 --> 00:31:10.519
Um tax client, for instance.
00:31:10.679 --> 00:31:13.319
I have a tax client from um Eritrea.
00:31:14.039 --> 00:31:22.679
And although they understand the English um that I speak, theirs is a bit more broken when we uh speak about their taxes and such.
00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:26.200
So they bring their teenage daughter in to translate for us.
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:45.079
And at the end of our communication this year, I'm not exactly the words that were said by her dad, um, but when I indicated that I needed the credit card for payment and she said something to her dad, his first response was kind of patting his pockets, like, I forgot my wallet, looks like you're paying.
00:31:45.399 --> 00:31:49.799
And if you think about that, that's a dad joke.
00:31:50.440 --> 00:32:02.679
No matter what language he was speaking, no matter what country he came from, every single dad has said that when their daughter has turned to them and said, Dad, I need your credit card.
00:32:03.879 --> 00:32:06.279
Forgot my wallet, it's on you.
00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:09.960
Or if I reach for the bill at dinner, are you doing dishes tonight?
00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:12.039
You touch the bill, you pay for it.
00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:13.879
You know, those little things, right?
00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:18.759
But so that right there transcends everything.
00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:24.039
We can be better humans to each other.
00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:26.839
We just have to make the choice to do so.
00:32:30.919 --> 00:32:34.440
Let's talk about that personal identity for a second.
00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:41.399
The personal identity, we are individuals.
00:32:41.639 --> 00:32:42.039
We are.
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:47.399
We all have our own different traits, we have our way that we look, we have the things that we do.
00:32:48.359 --> 00:32:53.799
But we have to remember that we're much bigger than what we are as an individual.
00:32:54.359 --> 00:33:06.359
So when we talked um in the beginning of the the season, and we were speaking about DNA and adoption and um spitting in the tubes, 23andme and and ancestry.
00:33:06.599 --> 00:33:10.679
My dad, I still haven't done mine, so eventually I'll get I'll get around to that.
00:33:10.839 --> 00:33:16.039
But my dad, I've always joked and said I'm I'm the melting pot, right?
00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:22.519
The melting pot was the the term for immigration when people were coming into this country.
00:33:22.679 --> 00:33:24.039
We all melded together.
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:27.079
We were one thing, which was American, right?
00:33:28.919 --> 00:33:55.399
So looking at my dad, or at least what his DNA tells us, my dad, which was part of me, shows that his DNA can be tracked through England and Wales, Germany, the Netherlands, France, Scotland, Ireland, French, Canadian, specifically Quebec, uh, the Ukraine, and Denmark.
00:33:56.279 --> 00:34:00.200
That's a pretty broad mix of countries, right?
00:34:02.599 --> 00:34:04.679
I mean, so here I am.
00:34:04.839 --> 00:34:09.320
I'm not just, you know, I get Polish actually from from my mom's side.
00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:12.360
My grandfather was his background was 100%.
00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:16.519
But my grandmother, I think she was English and German just the same.
00:34:16.760 --> 00:34:18.599
And and and so I'm a mix.
00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:19.720
I'm everything, right?
00:34:19.880 --> 00:34:22.280
I'm I'm I'm the melting pot.
00:34:24.360 --> 00:34:27.639
So I can't say that I'm one or the other.
00:34:28.039 --> 00:34:34.599
I don't have that label, but my identity is that I'm here, I'm Leah, and I'm a human.
00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.559
So let's start pushing that one.
00:34:42.759 --> 00:34:56.840
I realized when I was putting this together, um that we have a whole generation of kids grown-ups now, some of them 20, so 20, let's say 25 years.
00:34:56.920 --> 00:35:08.599
Let's use that 25 year span that have never experienced the feeling that we had during 9-11.
00:35:11.159 --> 00:35:16.519
The tragedy brought our country together.
00:35:18.279 --> 00:35:25.079
Every single person that was alive during that moment in time can tell you exactly where they were.
00:35:28.279 --> 00:35:34.360
I was sitting at a leasing table in the office of the apartment community where I was working.
00:35:35.639 --> 00:35:41.239
The person sitting in front of me was renewing her lease after a year of being back in Ann Arbor.
00:35:42.599 --> 00:35:47.079
The big screen TV in the back showed the towers.
00:35:48.440 --> 00:35:51.079
This is after the first plane had gone through.
00:35:52.360 --> 00:36:01.320
We're watching this together, and I turned back to her, and she's just heartbroken.
00:36:03.079 --> 00:36:07.239
Because a year prior, she worked at Top of the World.
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:12.039
She knew the people in that restaurant that went down with that building.
00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:19.400
That's the closest experience I would have had to that.
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:21.960
But you remember it, right?
00:36:23.559 --> 00:36:27.320
But why is it that tragedy is what brings us together?
00:36:29.079 --> 00:36:33.239
Why can't we be brought together by happiness and goodness?
00:36:36.039 --> 00:36:38.920
That's what makes us such an amazing country.
00:36:43.719 --> 00:36:45.880
Let's not wait for a tragedy.
00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:03.799
Just thinking of where I want to take this.
00:37:10.039 --> 00:37:14.920
We had the ally and the Axis powers.
00:37:15.079 --> 00:37:16.920
We knew who was bad, who was good.
00:37:17.799 --> 00:37:26.199
But here's the thing is that the people that were fighting in that war, it didn't matter what background they were.
00:37:26.599 --> 00:37:29.480
Didn't matter what culture they came from.
00:37:30.039 --> 00:37:35.639
Didn't matter that they were Italian or Polish or Irish.
00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:44.759
It mattered that they were American and that they were fighting together.
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:48.840
That two people in a foxhole, their goal was to get home alive.
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:51.000
Right?
00:37:51.559 --> 00:37:54.199
So we think of JFK, we think of Bob Dole.
00:37:55.559 --> 00:38:03.880
Bob Dole uh being one of the last that, you know, if we we want to throw a little politic history in here.
00:38:04.519 --> 00:38:14.679
There was a couple other that were with him, but they're they were the last World War II veterans that were in the halls of our Congress and Senate.
00:38:15.480 --> 00:38:23.480
And when they were presented with a piece of paper that they couldn't agree on, they could think back to that foxhole that they were in.
00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:28.440
And they could say, wow, I remember being on that beach.
00:38:29.320 --> 00:38:31.639
I remember the bullets whizzing by.
00:38:33.239 --> 00:38:41.000
We can get through anything, we can come to a conclusion on this piece of paper because we survived that together.
00:38:43.159 --> 00:38:48.599
Now, we don't want World War III or anything like that, and we don't want a 9-11.
00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:53.719
But what we do have coming up for us is our birthday.
00:38:55.159 --> 00:38:56.679
My personal birthday.
00:38:56.840 --> 00:39:04.519
I've I've just successfully completed another tour around the sun.
00:39:05.960 --> 00:39:08.759
America's birthday is on July 4th.
00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:11.960
We're gonna be 250 years old.
00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:14.039
Think of that.
00:39:14.279 --> 00:39:20.440
We're not the oldest country in the world, but we were started on a fresh idea.
00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:28.599
And the first part of it was being together as humans, Americans.
00:39:30.759 --> 00:39:38.440
So let's start to think about how we interact with our friends and our our families and how we interact with strangers.
00:39:40.039 --> 00:39:44.759
And let's stop talking about the weather and start talking about the music.
00:39:51.799 --> 00:40:00.440
With every interview that we have, we get to demonstrate a lesson that it's pretty easy.
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:06.039
Let's start responding and stop reacting.
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:08.279
We can do this.
00:40:10.039 --> 00:40:14.199
I'd hate for for another tragedy to happen to bring us together.
00:40:14.759 --> 00:40:19.639
So instead of tragedy, let's just come together for the good.
00:40:21.239 --> 00:40:25.239
Let's stop being mean to each other.
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:29.159
Let's start valuing life.
00:40:32.119 --> 00:40:37.159
I look forward to all of our our all of our upcoming episodes.
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:43.320
I mean, when we relaunch next season, season number three.
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:44.440
I mean, come on.
00:40:44.679 --> 00:40:47.400
52 episodes from a nobody.
00:40:48.119 --> 00:40:49.239
Seriously.
00:40:49.559 --> 00:40:52.199
I never thought that we would get to this point.
00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:57.719
And I already have another 52 people that want to be interviewed.
00:40:59.239 --> 00:41:01.159
They all have something to say.
00:41:02.519 --> 00:41:04.519
We all want this connection.
00:41:09.799 --> 00:41:12.279
I invite you to tell your story.
00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:18.920
If you want to be on the show, please go to our website, lifebetweencoasts.com.
00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:27.320
Hit the memo side or the contact us and put your name and information in there and say, I want to be on your show.
00:41:27.480 --> 00:41:29.239
I want to tell my story.
00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:33.480
We do only in person, nothing on Zoom.
00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:36.199
That's the important part.
00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:40.599
So you do have to be in Michigan or willing to travel to Michigan.
00:41:40.920 --> 00:41:42.759
This is still my passion.
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:48.039
And it will be my passion until the very last voice is heard.
00:41:48.360 --> 00:41:54.279
Because the more that we know about each other, the more than we are a connected society.
00:41:58.920 --> 00:42:01.159
This journey has been amazing.
00:42:01.559 --> 00:42:06.039
I am so thankful that I have each of you listening to it.
00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:21.159
And I've had to come to a much better understanding of where I'm at, what I feel, and how I can better serve you.
00:42:23.320 --> 00:42:26.360
I just hope that I can bring you happiness and joy.
00:42:26.599 --> 00:42:29.079
And I hope that we can all come together.
00:42:29.480 --> 00:42:31.400
Because I'm tired of the division.
00:42:31.559 --> 00:42:33.880
I'm tired of the hate, the hate.
00:42:34.039 --> 00:42:35.799
I'm tired of the anger.
00:42:40.119 --> 00:42:43.480
I just want to say thank you.
00:42:44.440 --> 00:42:45.719
Thank you for listening.
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:47.079
Thank you for being you.
00:42:47.239 --> 00:42:48.679
Thank you for being here.
00:42:52.119 --> 00:42:57.880
And thank you again for joining us on this week's episode of Life Between Coasts.
00:42:58.199 --> 00:43:03.799
Please remember to like, share, and subscribe to grow our community of listeners.
00:43:05.239 --> 00:43:07.400
However, we're taking our brief pause.
00:43:07.559 --> 00:43:14.920
Just remember that we will be launching our new season, season number three, on August 26th.
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:21.719
So keep in tune with all of our social media postings that I'm promised I will get better at doing.
00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:27.559
And if you haven't listened to all the stories, go back and listen to them.
00:43:27.880 --> 00:43:30.119
Each and every one is important.
00:43:30.759 --> 00:43:39.480
There's little nuances, little tidbits that if you listen to it once, listen to it again because you're going to pick up something different each time.
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:43.000
Life is great.
00:43:43.799 --> 00:43:45.559
Alexis is wonderful.
00:43:45.799 --> 00:43:50.599
She's excited and ecstatic to spend the summer helping me clean out an attic.
00:43:50.759 --> 00:43:52.199
No, just joking.
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:55.880
But we just look forward to having you.
00:43:56.199 --> 00:43:58.360
And thank you again for joining us.
00:43:58.519 --> 00:44:00.599
And until then, bye bye.
00:00:47.239 --> 00:00:47.799
Hi there.
00:00:47.959 --> 00:00:53.719
Welcome to Life Between Coasts, the podcast where we dive into our personal journeys connected through synchronicity.
00:00:53.879 --> 00:00:57.399
So grab your coffee, light a candle, and let's begin.
00:00:57.560 --> 00:01:00.439
I'm your host, Leah, and we're glad you're here.
00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:06.760
Today we're just going to reminisce about the season a little bit and some of the things that have changed.
00:01:07.239 --> 00:01:17.480
You know, we started out on March 26, 2025, with a message of just trying to connect people through synchronicity specifically.
00:01:18.920 --> 00:01:25.400
But one of the things that I've I've I've noticed is that word might be a little bit lost.
00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:41.320
It's not that, you know, we're dumb or anything, but it's just that the definition isn't as understood, that meaningful connection or the meaningful coincidence, you know, the thing that doesn't have a cause or effect, but it seems like the planets align for us.
00:01:41.879 --> 00:01:47.240
But what the what the show has really evolved to is just seeking common ground.
00:01:47.400 --> 00:01:52.359
We're looking to just show that we're more alike than we're different through each of our stories.
00:01:52.840 --> 00:02:17.159
And it's made me understand a lot more about humanity, about people, about the struggles that we go through, and and and how we need to start to embrace each other more, lift each other up, and and how we can do this as being part of the human race.
00:02:18.439 --> 00:02:22.840
There's a lot of patterns and themes that keep appearing throughout the show.
00:02:22.919 --> 00:02:36.360
Um there's a lot of religion things, there's about the lot of um, or religious, I should say, you know, about talking to God, about um having him in your life, or rejecting religion altogether.
00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:39.319
Uh there's been a lot of conversation about illness.
00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:45.400
There's been conversation about um losing people, about transition.
00:02:46.360 --> 00:02:53.159
Um, but each time, one of the common themes that we're seeing is that we're resilient.
00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:57.719
We are, and that we can do anything if we come together.
00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:08.680
The core message that we're trying to deliver to you is that, again, we are more alike than we are different.
00:03:09.080 --> 00:03:18.280
And it doesn't matter what our culture is, it doesn't matter what color we are, it doesn't matter where we were born, how big a bank account might be.
00:03:18.520 --> 00:03:21.640
I wish mine was bigger, of course, but come on, right?
00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:27.000
But it just it's just the fact that we're human is what connects us.
00:03:32.199 --> 00:03:34.920
There are several things that I want to talk about today.
00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:37.640
And so I made a list just to keep me straight.
00:03:37.960 --> 00:03:55.800
And one, and really what it is, it's just things that we can put into action right now, every single day, as we come into contact with other people in our lives, strangers, family members, acquaintances.
00:03:56.039 --> 00:04:01.640
But these are things that we can do on a daily basis, on you know, in a moment's notice.
00:04:01.800 --> 00:04:03.240
That's the beautiful thing of it.
00:04:03.479 --> 00:04:10.520
So the first thing that I'd like to challenge you to do with me is to stop talking about the weather.
00:04:10.759 --> 00:04:17.479
So this is something that I just I recently kind of started on over the last few weeks, um, maybe a month by now.
00:04:17.639 --> 00:04:22.759
Um, but inside the tax office, you know, we we talk about things, we talk about deep stories.
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:31.159
And one of the things that I always say is that is that my clients are are basically naked in front of me when they when they show me their their financials, right?
00:04:31.399 --> 00:04:32.839
So I know a lot about them.
00:04:32.920 --> 00:04:35.800
And sometimes they tend to like blurt things out.
00:04:36.120 --> 00:04:37.159
Unexpected.
00:04:37.319 --> 00:04:40.599
Um, but sometimes they just needed to get something off their chest.
00:04:40.920 --> 00:04:49.879
So that makes me feel confident that I'm making them feel better in whatever their position might have been at that very moment.
00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:59.720
The fact that they needed to release something and get it off of their chest, that makes me just feel that I was able to help them in some other way than just doing taxes.
00:04:59.879 --> 00:05:16.839
Um, that when somebody leaves my office, even if they have a balance due, that they leave smiling, that the that they leave uplifted, that the experience that they've had with me has been a bright spot in their day, not a negative, oh my God, I gotta go do taxes.
00:05:17.079 --> 00:05:24.360
I don't know how many people tell me that when they tell somebody else that doesn't use my services, oh, I'm gonna go do my taxes.
00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:32.519
And and that person on the other receiving end, let's say, will say, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, that must be stressful, or that, oh no, I get to go see Leah.
00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:33.800
That's the response.
00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:35.560
I get to go see Leah.
00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:38.600
And that is why I do what I do.
00:05:39.800 --> 00:05:44.920
One of the things that I have with each of those clients that come in to see me is a connection, right?
00:05:45.160 --> 00:05:46.759
We have a rapport that we've built.
00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:52.759
They could come back, you know, from five years ago and and I can say, well, how's how's your dog?
00:05:53.079 --> 00:06:06.360
and give their name, or how's this, or how's your parent, or how's how's something that I know about you because we've developed that friendship or or that acquaintance and and that foundation of knowing each other.
00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:09.879
But how do you do that when you don't know somebody?
00:06:10.120 --> 00:06:11.560
How do you develop that rapport?
00:06:11.639 --> 00:06:15.079
How do you lift somebody when they're a complete stranger?
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:19.079
So that's called stop talking about the weather.
00:06:19.399 --> 00:06:22.040
In Michigan, that's something that we always do, right?
00:06:22.199 --> 00:06:23.399
We talk about the weather.
00:06:23.560 --> 00:06:27.000
You know, oh, it's raining now, wait five minutes, the sun will come out.
00:06:27.240 --> 00:06:28.040
That's what we say.
00:06:28.199 --> 00:06:32.439
Oh, it's beautiful, the sky's blue, it's gorgeous, it's a beautiful summer day.
00:06:33.079 --> 00:06:37.000
We'll say that casually as we're checking out for gas or the at the grocery store.
00:06:37.079 --> 00:06:41.399
Oh, we hope you get out of work soon so you can enjoy how wonderful that day is out there.
00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:43.000
But what if we stopped?
00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:56.680
What if we stopped for just one minute and listened to the song that might be playing overhead on the radio or on that speaker and stop for that one second and say, Wow, I haven't heard that song in forever.
00:06:56.920 --> 00:07:11.879
Maybe it was your high school graduation or your high school prom, or maybe it's a reminiscent of your first dance from your wedding, or maybe there's no specific reason that that that song ties to you, other than the fact that you like it and you like the beat.
00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:19.319
You know, but all you have to do is mention that one song and you will get a response from that stranger on the other side.
00:07:19.560 --> 00:07:26.839
And they'll either say that they don't like the genre of music, or they're gonna say that, yes, oh, that that song brings back memories for me too.
00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:30.759
They like this artist, or they like that song from that artist.
00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:33.480
Now we've begun to crack that egg, right?
00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:42.759
So now we're cracking that egg and we're saying, you've just found out a personal thing about that complete stranger, and they just found out something about you.
00:07:43.240 --> 00:07:54.759
Now, when you leave that experience, the difference in just paying for your gas, going and pumping it and moving on with your day, whatever your mood may have been, you're now elevated just a little bit.
00:07:54.920 --> 00:07:59.959
Your endorphins start to flow, you have a smile on your face, and you have a little pep in your step.
00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:02.360
Wow, I just made a connection with a human.
00:08:02.600 --> 00:08:04.040
It's that simple.
00:08:04.360 --> 00:08:12.120
And now the next connection you make with another human is going to be that much better for you because you're already happy.
00:08:12.280 --> 00:08:15.000
You're smiling, you're now humming that song in your brain.
00:08:15.160 --> 00:08:17.160
You're like, oh, today is going to be a great day.
00:08:17.319 --> 00:08:35.000
And now your disposition changes, and everybody that comes into contact you, contact with you, is going to get that pleasant, that happy, that kindness that is just going to spill out of you, and they're going to receive that.
00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:39.399
And when they receive that, they're going to pass it on to the next person.
00:08:39.799 --> 00:08:44.759
This is about putting it into action, not just posting about it on a social media site.
00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:46.600
Be kind, be happy.
00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:48.519
This is actually doing it.
00:08:48.679 --> 00:08:52.600
And that's what's so important about it is talk to a stranger.
00:08:52.839 --> 00:08:54.519
Stop talking about the weather.
00:08:54.679 --> 00:08:55.720
That's what we do.
00:08:55.959 --> 00:08:57.399
But stop doing it now.
00:08:57.639 --> 00:08:59.479
Start talking about the music.
00:08:59.799 --> 00:09:03.159
Make that connection because you know, we need it.
00:09:03.319 --> 00:09:05.159
We need it more than anything right now.
00:09:08.359 --> 00:09:11.719
And while doing it, give grace.
00:09:14.199 --> 00:09:15.479
That's a big thing.
00:09:16.519 --> 00:09:20.919
You don't know where that person has come from.
00:09:21.239 --> 00:09:25.399
You don't know what they're doing at home, what they're struggling through.
00:09:25.559 --> 00:09:27.799
You don't know if they have a sick child.
00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:31.559
You don't know if they're going through a divorce.
00:09:31.879 --> 00:09:38.919
You don't know if they're sick themselves, but they have to work because they need to keep a roof over their head.
00:09:39.559 --> 00:09:53.719
So if you just take a few seconds to give that person some grace before you attack them or verbally come after them because something is wrong or bad in your day, think about what the other person might be going through.
00:09:53.959 --> 00:09:59.959
Because if you were going through those same things, you would want some of that grace to be given to you as well.
00:10:00.519 --> 00:10:04.919
I think, you know, here's a specific example.
00:10:06.439 --> 00:10:08.919
I talk a lot about my mister, right?
00:10:09.159 --> 00:10:14.599
I talk about our relationship, or at least bits and pieces of our relationship.
00:10:15.159 --> 00:10:29.639
But what I don't talk about is all of the struggles and all of the differences of let's call it opinion that we've had over the last, say, eight months of our relationship.
00:10:30.279 --> 00:10:36.599
So, you know, we started having some breakdowns and things, let's say September, eight months ago.
00:10:36.759 --> 00:10:44.199
And then it just slowly snowballed into bigger fights, uh, more frustration.
00:10:44.759 --> 00:10:50.759
Um, a lot of that that that I think all of us had been through and and feel, right?
00:10:51.319 --> 00:11:03.239
So in January, I had made a conscious decision that I was going to end my relationship with my mister, that I was gonna break up with him, that I was done.
00:11:03.479 --> 00:11:07.639
Nearly 18 years, I was done.
00:11:08.199 --> 00:11:11.719
I've had enough, I'm not gonna do it anymore.
00:11:12.039 --> 00:11:13.239
And that was that.
00:11:14.519 --> 00:11:21.719
Things progressively, of course, got worse because at this point now I'm extremely busy with my profession.
00:11:22.599 --> 00:11:29.239
And I'm overwhelmed by my personal life because that's on my brain as well.
00:11:29.399 --> 00:11:35.639
And that probably is what a lot of people didn't see when they came into my tax office.
00:11:35.959 --> 00:11:42.759
They always saw a smiling, happy person that was thankful that they were sitting there in front of me.
00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:51.000
But behind closed doors, behind my smile, there was the, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:11:51.239 --> 00:11:53.559
I knew I needed to get through my season.
00:11:53.719 --> 00:12:00.439
I knew it wasn't going to happen until the end of April, May, somewhere in there, somewhere over the summer.
00:12:00.599 --> 00:12:02.919
It was gonna take a lot to break up with him.
00:12:03.079 --> 00:12:08.119
You know, even though we're not married, we're very heavily invested in each other.
00:12:09.719 --> 00:12:16.759
And so I was going through all of these motions and I was having so much frustration.
00:12:17.319 --> 00:12:19.479
I wasn't getting anywhere.
00:12:19.879 --> 00:12:22.599
Here, he was going out a couple nights a week.
00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:26.439
Fine, you know, it's not that that's a fact of going out.
00:12:26.679 --> 00:12:34.119
Um, it was it was the absence of him in my life that I was feeling.
00:12:35.079 --> 00:12:49.319
And so I at the beginning of March, as you all know, I speak with my my spiritual guide, um, Kanika, and and I walked through all of that with her.
00:12:51.479 --> 00:13:06.519
And she said in a follow-up email to me, now that you have made peace with ending your relationship, she never said you're absolutely going to end your relationship.
00:13:06.599 --> 00:13:15.159
She said, now that you've made peace with ending your relationship, these are the next steps that you need to do to make sure that you're taken care of.
00:13:17.479 --> 00:13:24.119
And then a couple days later, something rocked my world beyond belief.
00:13:25.319 --> 00:13:31.959
To the point that I had a physical and emotional breakdown.
00:13:33.079 --> 00:13:38.119
My body was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't stop crying.
00:13:40.439 --> 00:13:46.039
I I just I was just so absolutely shaken to the core.
00:13:48.679 --> 00:14:11.079
And then without going into detail, the the effects of what happened two days after my conversation with Kanika changed my relationship in a whole 180-degree turn or 180-degree flip or whatever, opposite of what it is or was.
00:14:11.879 --> 00:14:33.319
And this page was flipped and and I realized that I didn't want to break up with him, but I knew that my heart missed him.
00:14:33.959 --> 00:14:37.159
I knew that my heart was lonely for him.
00:14:40.119 --> 00:14:54.199
Now this all ties into that giving grace, because again, what you're hearing from me is is something that the people in my front office didn't get to see because I didn't let them.
00:14:55.639 --> 00:14:59.879
And strangers aren't gonna let you see that either.
00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:11.959
So that's why it's so important to give that grace, extend that grace to your fellow human.
00:15:13.719 --> 00:15:19.959
Because there were 10 words that I did at one point repeat to my mister.
00:15:21.399 --> 00:15:27.559
And he kind of missed the mark when I first said them to him, but he's quite starting to understand what they mean.
00:15:30.199 --> 00:15:34.839
And those ten words are you've never been on the receiving end of you.
00:15:36.759 --> 00:15:37.879
So think about that.
00:15:40.279 --> 00:15:55.639
Any argument you've had, any tantrum you've thrown, any rudeness you've given, any kindness, any happiness, any joy, but you've never received yourself.
00:15:59.079 --> 00:16:15.319
So if if you take a moment maybe and look in the mirror before giving that message to somebody and see how it looks, see how it feels when it's pointed directly at you, and then think again before coming at somebody.
00:16:16.599 --> 00:16:23.719
It's all about remembering or or or reminding ourselves to respond and not react.
00:16:26.359 --> 00:16:28.599
Nothing gets done when we react.
00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:41.000
It's the response because a response starts communication, and when communication can be had, decisions can be made and things can be put into motion.
00:16:46.359 --> 00:16:54.439
So after my reaction with my mister, we started to respond to each other.
00:16:55.799 --> 00:17:02.679
In fact, we went as far as signing a covenant to be dedicated to each other for 45 days.
00:17:03.719 --> 00:17:09.000
Part of that was him not going to the bar to see his friends on those two nights a week.
00:17:09.319 --> 00:17:20.039
Because what he didn't realize was that that 90 minutes each night of those two nights were the best time that he was giving of himself to his friends.
00:17:20.680 --> 00:17:24.119
And because I chose not to be there, I was missing out on it.
00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:30.759
Because the part that I got at the end was when he would come home, have dinner, and then fall asleep on the couch.
00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:34.919
So I became resentful that they were stealing his time from me.
00:17:38.759 --> 00:17:47.480
And it's not that they were stealing the time, but it was the fact that he was disengaged from me.
00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:53.399
He was the result of my loneliness.
00:17:57.159 --> 00:18:00.279
Because even with connection, loneliness still exists.
00:18:03.319 --> 00:18:07.720
You can be alone or you can not be alone and still be lonely.
00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:10.359
I'm surrounded by people every day.
00:18:10.519 --> 00:18:16.359
So when I say I'm lonely, people are how can you be lonely?
00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:17.879
Everybody's around you.
00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:27.240
Well, no, I'm lonely because the one connection that I wanted the most was with my mister, and he wasn't there to give it to me.
00:18:28.919 --> 00:18:32.440
Loneliness is a huge problem these days.
00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:35.480
And let me tell you about the actual definition.
00:18:36.039 --> 00:18:45.639
So the Oxford Dictionary defines loneliness as the feeling of being unhappy because of lack of friends or companionship.
00:18:46.679 --> 00:18:54.919
It's characterized as sadness that results from being forsaken or abandoned, or a poignant feeling of isolation or solitude.
00:18:56.519 --> 00:19:07.799
It is distinct, I'm sorry, it is distinct from simply being alone, focusing on the subjective, emotional experience of social disconnection.
00:19:09.079 --> 00:19:16.519
So even though he wasn't he was living in the same house with me.
00:19:16.679 --> 00:19:30.359
We're having dinner throughout the week, we work together, we, you know, so we're always together, but it was the the emotional or the the relationship side of our of our partnership.
00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:33.480
We chose to work together early on, right?
00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:50.039
And and and so the part that I think that I didn't realize was that I no longer wanted to work with him because somewhere along the line, I became the employee.
00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:56.200
And so we had to come to this realization.
00:19:57.000 --> 00:20:15.799
So going back to this covenant, so we signed this, and one of the things that I had a problem with early on, and I'll let you in a little bit uh into my into my way of handling things is I'm very direct about what I need and what I want right now.
00:20:16.759 --> 00:20:24.119
And the first few days of covenant that we signed, he he he was up in arms.
00:20:24.279 --> 00:20:28.919
He signed it willingly, but then acted like a teenager that was grounded by his mother.
00:20:29.159 --> 00:20:31.639
Well, I don't want a relationship like that, right?
00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:37.000
So I ripped it up and said, fine, go have a beer with your friends.
00:20:37.159 --> 00:20:37.799
That's fine.
00:20:37.960 --> 00:20:39.799
Our relationship is over then.
00:20:40.839 --> 00:20:54.359
Because here's the thing: if he wasn't willing to participate in healing my loneliness, and I had to go out and heal my loneliness for me and not us, then he wasn't going to be in the picture.
00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:58.599
And he realized that.
00:20:59.799 --> 00:21:00.279
Right?
00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:02.919
So we so we turn that page.
00:21:03.159 --> 00:21:06.919
So now he understands that it was being present.
00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:11.399
He understands that it's the time because life is short.
00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:14.679
There's a ticking time clock for all of us.
00:21:14.839 --> 00:21:16.519
We just don't know when it ends.
00:21:19.559 --> 00:21:30.279
We need to take and value each moment we have here and and and be present with the people that are with us and in front of us and and part of us.
00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:34.440
And he recognized that.
00:21:35.639 --> 00:21:49.960
And so now he honors without now a ripped up covenant, but he still recognizes what was in it and is willing to hold by it to make sure that our relationship survives.
00:21:56.279 --> 00:22:01.079
Loneliness again, it's it's way more common than we think.
00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:19.079
But I think if we talk about it out loud, if if we say I'm lonely, then that helps to break it up in our in our in our body.
00:22:19.159 --> 00:22:21.159
It helps to dissolve that feeling.
00:22:21.319 --> 00:22:24.679
If we wake up and we say, I'm lonely, I need this.
00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:33.799
And as many of you know, I'm not religious and spiritual.
00:22:33.960 --> 00:22:39.399
Um, I believe in a higher power, but I'm I'm not gonna go into the house of God.
00:22:39.639 --> 00:22:44.119
Um, but there is that story, that story of Leah and Rachel.
00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:45.639
I think most people know.
00:22:46.119 --> 00:22:50.919
Um, Leah was the unloved or the hated wife.
00:22:51.079 --> 00:23:02.839
Uh, she was the lonely one, the the one that they would uh describe as weary um or weak-eyed, and and that Rachel was beautiful and glorious.
00:23:03.159 --> 00:23:15.559
And the story goes that that their father, of course, had their um had Jacob work for him for seven years for the love of Rachel.
00:23:15.799 --> 00:23:23.000
And on the night that they were to be married, he switched them out and provided Leah because his excuse was the elder daughter had to marry first.
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:29.879
And of course, after that, and he discovered that that he married the uh the other sister the next day.
00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:36.119
He was, you know, pleading with with the father, Le Bun, that he um he was tricked.
00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:42.839
And so he was also given Rachel as as his wife with another promise of seven years of of labor.
00:23:43.159 --> 00:24:04.440
Um, but during all of this, the story of Leah is that she was unloved, that she was, I wouldn't say hated, but in essence, that that she wasn't being treated properly, and that God saw this and he intervened and he allowed her to give birth um multiple times.
00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:44.039
And and and by the fourth child, she gave her life to God, and then she was responsible for for the the priestly and royal lines um that lead us down to everything else, and and one of the things that in conversation this season, um Bridget, that she said was that those conversations that you can have conversations hard conversations with God, and you can say whatever you want, and you can be mean and you can yell and you can scream and and and he can handle it.
00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:57.559
And I gotta say, you know, there's tying to that story, it it always felt like why?
00:24:57.799 --> 00:24:59.639
Why did I have to go this path?
00:24:59.799 --> 00:25:01.799
Why did I lose my family?
00:25:01.960 --> 00:25:04.519
Why did you take this from me?
00:25:05.799 --> 00:25:08.359
Why did I have to give up my womb?
00:25:10.919 --> 00:25:13.240
There's a reason for everything, right?
00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:30.039
And so, not even just a couple weeks ago, a week before my interview with Bridget, I had that conversation, that hard conversation that most people never witness.
00:25:30.599 --> 00:25:34.359
Um, but the screaming, the the why do you hate me?
00:25:35.799 --> 00:25:37.559
Why would you do this to me?
00:25:44.519 --> 00:25:45.879
But I understand why.
00:25:46.359 --> 00:25:53.319
Because after my conversation with Bridget, I understand that there's a purpose.
00:25:54.759 --> 00:26:03.559
And maybe I didn't have to maybe I had to go through those things to be able to say that I know what you're going through, that I've been there.
00:26:06.279 --> 00:26:11.879
I've I've been through transitions, I've been through death, I've been through illness.
00:26:14.359 --> 00:26:16.119
I can relate to you.
00:26:16.359 --> 00:26:22.359
And if you look at all of the voices that we've had on the show, I can relate to everybody that we've had here.
00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:29.079
All it took was me to sit down and have a conversation, and then we can find those similarities.
00:26:29.559 --> 00:26:33.240
All it take will take for you is to do the same thing.
00:26:35.559 --> 00:26:37.960
We need to start peeling back the labels.
00:26:39.639 --> 00:26:43.079
In the conversation I had with Allah, he said, we're the same.
00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:47.879
We were just teenagers hanging out at the mall, except where we happen to be in Saudi Arabia.
00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:53.480
We still have Starbucks, we still have Dunkin' Donuts, all of that fun stuff, right?
00:26:53.639 --> 00:26:56.919
But but we're still teenagers hanging out.
00:27:00.759 --> 00:27:05.079
We need to take away the the the differences.
00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:09.000
Labels highlight differences.
00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:15.079
Labels create distance.
00:27:19.240 --> 00:27:23.480
Just because I'm that one thing doesn't mean that we can't be friends or acquaintances.
00:27:26.039 --> 00:27:37.720
Money, how we judge success, who's rich, who's poor, identity, roles, titles, culture, language.
00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:47.720
We need to see each other as human, not where we've come from, not what language we speak, not what color our skin is.
00:27:48.759 --> 00:27:50.279
A couple little stories.
00:27:50.599 --> 00:28:03.799
So when my mother first started working full-time, um, again, it was in my teenage years, she was uh she was working in a city called Troy.
00:28:03.879 --> 00:28:09.319
And of course, they have um the Somerset Collection, which always was the well-to-do mall, you know, the the bookends.
00:28:09.399 --> 00:28:16.519
This is before they built the north side, but the bookends of this this specific mall was very small, but it was Saks Fifth Avenue and Neeman Marcus.
00:28:19.879 --> 00:28:23.799
Obviously, you know, we've talked about my my growing up.
00:28:24.279 --> 00:28:27.079
We didn't have like a ton of money or anything like that.
00:28:27.240 --> 00:28:35.000
But one of the things that my mom did when she started working in Troy, she would go and walk the mall, uh especially in the winter months, just to you know keep active.
00:28:35.079 --> 00:28:36.919
So that would be on like on her lunch break.
00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:44.039
And so one day she was in there and and she decided to to apply for the credit card at Nima Marcus, and she got it.
00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:47.480
So here she has her, you know, Nemo Marcus gold card.
00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:58.759
And I think that was one of the best experiences that she was, or not even experience, but let's call it a lesson.
00:28:59.319 --> 00:29:18.519
The best lesson that my mother was able to teach me was that no matter where I came from or how big my bank account was, that when I walked into that store, I was human.
00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:21.960
I was the same as anybody else there shopping.
00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:29.079
Now, I could afford a lot less than what most of the people there shopping was could definitely afford.
00:29:29.319 --> 00:29:36.679
But she showed me that, you know, I I needed a a small black top, for instance, for um for choir.
00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:38.919
It was for one of the shows.
00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:41.319
And she took me there.
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:46.599
And so we walked in, and one of the sales ladies had helped us and and said, What are you looking for?
00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:51.879
She could identify my size because she knew exactly, you know, this was her career.
00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:54.039
This is she dressed people for a living.
00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:55.240
So she knew.
00:29:55.639 --> 00:30:07.159
And she picked a couple shirts up and placed me into a uh a dressing room and then proceeded to circle the store and pick up every single other black top that she thought that would work for my situation.
00:30:07.639 --> 00:30:12.039
So then I didn't have to go out and and and go through the racks and things like that.
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:16.519
And that was the first time I'd ever experienced service like that.
00:30:18.599 --> 00:30:22.839
Carrying a teenage high schooler that, you know, come on.
00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:24.440
Right.
00:30:25.639 --> 00:30:32.759
But it showed that no matter my lot in life, that we still can be good to each other.
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:35.000
They didn't know if I was wealthy or not.
00:30:35.159 --> 00:30:38.519
They just they knew that they were going to make a sale.
00:30:38.759 --> 00:30:40.919
How little or how big, it didn't matter.
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:43.079
They were still going to make a commission.
00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:45.079
And they were going to take care of us.
00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:49.879
And then when they didn't have the size of something that I was looking for, they were able to order it.
00:30:50.519 --> 00:30:54.599
But it just shows that again, it doesn't matter where you come from.
00:30:55.159 --> 00:31:02.440
It just matters that that we respect each other and that we're kind to each other and we're willing to take care of each other.
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:07.639
Another story about culture, specifically language in this one.
00:31:07.879 --> 00:31:10.519
Um tax client, for instance.
00:31:10.679 --> 00:31:13.319
I have a tax client from um Eritrea.
00:31:14.039 --> 00:31:22.679
And although they understand the English um that I speak, theirs is a bit more broken when we uh speak about their taxes and such.
00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:26.200
So they bring their teenage daughter in to translate for us.
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:45.079
And at the end of our communication this year, I'm not exactly the words that were said by her dad, um, but when I indicated that I needed the credit card for payment and she said something to her dad, his first response was kind of patting his pockets, like, I forgot my wallet, looks like you're paying.
00:31:45.399 --> 00:31:49.799
And if you think about that, that's a dad joke.
00:31:50.440 --> 00:32:02.679
No matter what language he was speaking, no matter what country he came from, every single dad has said that when their daughter has turned to them and said, Dad, I need your credit card.
00:32:03.879 --> 00:32:06.279
Forgot my wallet, it's on you.
00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:09.960
Or if I reach for the bill at dinner, are you doing dishes tonight?
00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:12.039
You touch the bill, you pay for it.
00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:13.879
You know, those little things, right?
00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:18.759
But so that right there transcends everything.
00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:24.039
We can be better humans to each other.
00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:26.839
We just have to make the choice to do so.
00:32:30.919 --> 00:32:34.440
Let's talk about that personal identity for a second.
00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:41.399
The personal identity, we are individuals.
00:32:41.639 --> 00:32:42.039
We are.
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:47.399
We all have our own different traits, we have our way that we look, we have the things that we do.
00:32:48.359 --> 00:32:53.799
But we have to remember that we're much bigger than what we are as an individual.
00:32:54.359 --> 00:33:06.359
So when we talked um in the beginning of the the season, and we were speaking about DNA and adoption and um spitting in the tubes, 23andme and and ancestry.
00:33:06.599 --> 00:33:10.679
My dad, I still haven't done mine, so eventually I'll get I'll get around to that.
00:33:10.839 --> 00:33:16.039
But my dad, I've always joked and said I'm I'm the melting pot, right?
00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:22.519
The melting pot was the the term for immigration when people were coming into this country.
00:33:22.679 --> 00:33:24.039
We all melded together.
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:27.079
We were one thing, which was American, right?
00:33:28.919 --> 00:33:55.399
So looking at my dad, or at least what his DNA tells us, my dad, which was part of me, shows that his DNA can be tracked through England and Wales, Germany, the Netherlands, France, Scotland, Ireland, French, Canadian, specifically Quebec, uh, the Ukraine, and Denmark.
00:33:56.279 --> 00:34:00.200
That's a pretty broad mix of countries, right?
00:34:02.599 --> 00:34:04.679
I mean, so here I am.
00:34:04.839 --> 00:34:09.320
I'm not just, you know, I get Polish actually from from my mom's side.
00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:12.360
My grandfather was his background was 100%.
00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:16.519
But my grandmother, I think she was English and German just the same.
00:34:16.760 --> 00:34:18.599
And and and so I'm a mix.
00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:19.720
I'm everything, right?
00:34:19.880 --> 00:34:22.280
I'm I'm I'm the melting pot.
00:34:24.360 --> 00:34:27.639
So I can't say that I'm one or the other.
00:34:28.039 --> 00:34:34.599
I don't have that label, but my identity is that I'm here, I'm Leah, and I'm a human.
00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.559
So let's start pushing that one.
00:34:42.759 --> 00:34:56.840
I realized when I was putting this together, um that we have a whole generation of kids grown-ups now, some of them 20, so 20, let's say 25 years.
00:34:56.920 --> 00:35:08.599
Let's use that 25 year span that have never experienced the feeling that we had during 9-11.
00:35:11.159 --> 00:35:16.519
The tragedy brought our country together.
00:35:18.279 --> 00:35:25.079
Every single person that was alive during that moment in time can tell you exactly where they were.
00:35:28.279 --> 00:35:34.360
I was sitting at a leasing table in the office of the apartment community where I was working.
00:35:35.639 --> 00:35:41.239
The person sitting in front of me was renewing her lease after a year of being back in Ann Arbor.
00:35:42.599 --> 00:35:47.079
The big screen TV in the back showed the towers.
00:35:48.440 --> 00:35:51.079
This is after the first plane had gone through.
00:35:52.360 --> 00:36:01.320
We're watching this together, and I turned back to her, and she's just heartbroken.
00:36:03.079 --> 00:36:07.239
Because a year prior, she worked at Top of the World.
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:12.039
She knew the people in that restaurant that went down with that building.
00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:19.400
That's the closest experience I would have had to that.
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:21.960
But you remember it, right?
00:36:23.559 --> 00:36:27.320
But why is it that tragedy is what brings us together?
00:36:29.079 --> 00:36:33.239
Why can't we be brought together by happiness and goodness?
00:36:36.039 --> 00:36:38.920
That's what makes us such an amazing country.
00:36:43.719 --> 00:36:45.880
Let's not wait for a tragedy.
00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:03.799
Just thinking of where I want to take this.
00:37:10.039 --> 00:37:14.920
We had the ally and the Axis powers.
00:37:15.079 --> 00:37:16.920
We knew who was bad, who was good.
00:37:17.799 --> 00:37:26.199
But here's the thing is that the people that were fighting in that war, it didn't matter what background they were.
00:37:26.599 --> 00:37:29.480
Didn't matter what culture they came from.
00:37:30.039 --> 00:37:35.639
Didn't matter that they were Italian or Polish or Irish.
00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:44.759
It mattered that they were American and that they were fighting together.
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:48.840
That two people in a foxhole, their goal was to get home alive.
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:51.000
Right?
00:37:51.559 --> 00:37:54.199
So we think of JFK, we think of Bob Dole.
00:37:55.559 --> 00:38:03.880
Bob Dole uh being one of the last that, you know, if we we want to throw a little politic history in here.
00:38:04.519 --> 00:38:14.679
There was a couple other that were with him, but they're they were the last World War II veterans that were in the halls of our Congress and Senate.
00:38:15.480 --> 00:38:23.480
And when they were presented with a piece of paper that they couldn't agree on, they could think back to that foxhole that they were in.
00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:28.440
And they could say, wow, I remember being on that beach.
00:38:29.320 --> 00:38:31.639
I remember the bullets whizzing by.
00:38:33.239 --> 00:38:41.000
We can get through anything, we can come to a conclusion on this piece of paper because we survived that together.
00:38:43.159 --> 00:38:48.599
Now, we don't want World War III or anything like that, and we don't want a 9-11.
00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:53.719
But what we do have coming up for us is our birthday.
00:38:55.159 --> 00:38:56.679
My personal birthday.
00:38:56.840 --> 00:39:04.519
I've I've just successfully completed another tour around the sun.
00:39:05.960 --> 00:39:08.759
America's birthday is on July 4th.
00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:11.960
We're gonna be 250 years old.
00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:14.039
Think of that.
00:39:14.279 --> 00:39:20.440
We're not the oldest country in the world, but we were started on a fresh idea.
00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:28.599
And the first part of it was being together as humans, Americans.
00:39:30.759 --> 00:39:38.440
So let's start to think about how we interact with our friends and our our families and how we interact with strangers.
00:39:40.039 --> 00:39:44.759
And let's stop talking about the weather and start talking about the music.
00:39:51.799 --> 00:40:00.440
With every interview that we have, we get to demonstrate a lesson that it's pretty easy.
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:06.039
Let's start responding and stop reacting.
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:08.279
We can do this.
00:40:10.039 --> 00:40:14.199
I'd hate for for another tragedy to happen to bring us together.
00:40:14.759 --> 00:40:19.639
So instead of tragedy, let's just come together for the good.
00:40:21.239 --> 00:40:25.239
Let's stop being mean to each other.
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:29.159
Let's start valuing life.
00:40:32.119 --> 00:40:37.159
I look forward to all of our our all of our upcoming episodes.
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:43.320
I mean, when we relaunch next season, season number three.
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:44.440
I mean, come on.
00:40:44.679 --> 00:40:47.400
52 episodes from a nobody.
00:40:48.119 --> 00:40:49.239
Seriously.
00:40:49.559 --> 00:40:52.199
I never thought that we would get to this point.
00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:57.719
And I already have another 52 people that want to be interviewed.
00:40:59.239 --> 00:41:01.159
They all have something to say.
00:41:02.519 --> 00:41:04.519
We all want this connection.
00:41:09.799 --> 00:41:12.279
I invite you to tell your story.
00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:18.920
If you want to be on the show, please go to our website, lifebetweencoasts.com.
00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:27.320
Hit the memo side or the contact us and put your name and information in there and say, I want to be on your show.
00:41:27.480 --> 00:41:29.239
I want to tell my story.
00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:33.480
We do only in person, nothing on Zoom.
00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:36.199
That's the important part.
00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:40.599
So you do have to be in Michigan or willing to travel to Michigan.
00:41:40.920 --> 00:41:42.759
This is still my passion.
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:48.039
And it will be my passion until the very last voice is heard.
00:41:48.360 --> 00:41:54.279
Because the more that we know about each other, the more than we are a connected society.
00:41:58.920 --> 00:42:01.159
This journey has been amazing.
00:42:01.559 --> 00:42:06.039
I am so thankful that I have each of you listening to it.
00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:21.159
And I've had to come to a much better understanding of where I'm at, what I feel, and how I can better serve you.
00:42:23.320 --> 00:42:26.360
I just hope that I can bring you happiness and joy.
00:42:26.599 --> 00:42:29.079
And I hope that we can all come together.
00:42:29.480 --> 00:42:31.400
Because I'm tired of the division.
00:42:31.559 --> 00:42:33.880
I'm tired of the hate, the hate.
00:42:34.039 --> 00:42:35.799
I'm tired of the anger.
00:42:40.119 --> 00:42:43.480
I just want to say thank you.
00:42:44.440 --> 00:42:45.719
Thank you for listening.
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:47.079
Thank you for being you.
00:42:47.239 --> 00:42:48.679
Thank you for being here.
00:42:52.119 --> 00:42:57.880
And thank you again for joining us on this week's episode of Life Between Coasts.
00:42:58.199 --> 00:43:03.799
Please remember to like, share, and subscribe to grow our community of listeners.
00:43:05.239 --> 00:43:07.400
However, we're taking our brief pause.
00:43:07.559 --> 00:43:14.920
Just remember that we will be launching our new season, season number three, on August 26th.
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:21.719
So keep in tune with all of our social media postings that I'm promised I will get better at doing.
00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:27.559
And if you haven't listened to all the stories, go back and listen to them.
00:43:27.880 --> 00:43:30.119
Each and every one is important.
00:43:30.759 --> 00:43:39.480
There's little nuances, little tidbits that if you listen to it once, listen to it again because you're going to pick up something different each time.
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:43.000
Life is great.
00:43:43.799 --> 00:43:45.559
Alexis is wonderful.
00:43:45.799 --> 00:43:50.599
She's excited and ecstatic to spend the summer helping me clean out an attic.
00:43:50.759 --> 00:43:52.199
No, just joking.
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:55.880
But we just look forward to having you.
00:43:56.199 --> 00:43:58.360
And thank you again for joining us.
00:43:58.519 --> 00:44:00.599
And until then, bye bye.
