When Success Is the Wrong Fuel | Molly Moore Smith

Nice: If success in this role means I have to spend 50 % of my time doing these things, then I'm not the right person for the role. It was one of those moments where you can like, all the sensations in your face, the tears are like wanting to burst out, but you're on the phone with your male coworker, supervisor, and you don't wanna be the girl that cries. Welcome to Let's Heal. I'm Beth Jones, your leadership performance strategist and the healing mentor. 50 episodes taught us what healing looks like for survivors. Now we're bringing that wisdom into the business world, conversations at the intersection of leadership performance and healing the survival patterns that keep us from achieving real success. This is long overdue, so let's get to it. Hello everyone and welcome to Let's Heal the Leadership Series. My guest today is Molly Moore Smith and she lives in both of the worlds that this show connects. Molly spent over 25 years in the tech industry rising up from an entry level position to C-suite as a vice president, leading teams, driving strategy and performing at the highest levels. Today she serves as director of operations for HX causes at HX, which is a Dallas based company. where she leads nonprofit partnerships that connect consumer feedback to cause-based funding. And through her own healing journey, she is a certified emotion code practitioner and a breakthrough coach helping entrepreneurs and high achieving women release the trapped emotions and survival patterns that keep them stuck. Mandoy, I know a lot about that. She's also the bestselling author of What the Funk and hosts a podcast by the same name. I love that. It's fun to say. And what I love about Molly's story is that she just didn't build a leadership career. She had to heal her way out of the version of leadership that was costing her everything. That is what we're going to talk about today. So Molly, welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm so glad to be here, Beth. Yeah, I'm excited to have you too. So you've got a footprint in both of the worlds, corporate leadership and energy healing through your company. Next best step. Give everybody a picture of who you are and what drives you to live in both of those spaces today. Yes. Well, as you mentioned, I've been in corporate America a long time. I do feel like I've got a head for business for sure. And that has been evident throughout my career. I will say like I did go out and do my own thing back in 2019 and I stumbled into coaching and a health program helping people lose weight after my own weight loss. And I actually asked the question back then, why not me? Like, not me? Why couldn't I? Right? And so I've done both for the last seven years, but after a lot of healing and a lot of personal development and reflection, I had to make a shift in my career so that I could be totally aligned to focusing my efforts on what is inside my skillset instead of focusing on the big picture of success. Right? And so that definition for me has shifted over the last several years. And so now, you know, through this process, like you can look now I've got a phenomenal setup, right? So I work 25, 30 hours a week doing something I absolutely love for a company I adore whose mission is amazing. And also I get to, to help people release the emotional baggage that they've been carrying without doing therapy. Now I'm a huge fan of therapy, but what I do does not require therapy. And helping women kind of get out of their ways and step into a life of purpose and joy. Now, so I work 25, 30 hours a week in my corporate job and I work another probably 20 or 25 hours a week doing, working in my own business. And it's a beautiful setup that fills my cup. Yeah, that is a, you're very blessed to have that set up for sure. So I, I'm on the path of entirely leaving the corporate world and now doing just my own solopreneur work, of similar to what you're doing. So, but you're in that great place where the financial bootstrapping, you got a little bit of help with that still because you're a honey moon pump, right? So for sure, for sure. For those of us who've been down this road and have to figure out that path, it is a great setup for you. So, and being able to do the pain work from X that really fuels your soul that you really love is an even better setup. So kudos to you. I'm happy that you've reached that spot. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. And what I want to talk about is how you got here. Right. So, and I want to go back, let's go back 25 years. So not long in the corporate world. Yeah. Which I think is amazing. You started at entry level and made your way all the way up to C-suite, which is a phenomenal path. had a similar path myself. And it's great to see women, those of us women who are making it to the top levels of organizations. It's wonderful. But as I know now and as you know now, I believe there's a cost. ⁓ yeah. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about ⁓ the survival patterns and what you know now because of the work you do. you know now about how you were making it through those 25 years. Yeah. Well, I think it's important that, you know, I think we all grew up, you know, with in family dynamics where we draw conclusions about what does success look like? What does good enough look like? What does worth look like? Right? And so in my family, my parents divorced when I was, you know, 12, 13 years old and we were just trying to make it right. So there's a lot of scarcity. Both my parents did absolutely the best they could with what they had at the time, but there was a void of emotional. like validation being seen, being encouraged to feel the feelings in the moment and to process them in a way that didn't store a negative story or negative connotation with it. And so I had like my work ethic and this drive to become successful in business actually started with my very first job, which was at a grocery store, which is like so innocuous, right? But that was the first place where I saw that my effort got rewarded, my effort and my personality, the way I showed up was valued in a really overt way and that felt really good. And so that continued through my college career and into my corporate career where I was very fortunate, very fortunate. was with the same company for over 20 years where I started at that entry level and I was just very fortunate to have. mentors in that business who saw my potential and as they were escalating up the corporate ladder, they took me with them. So I'm so grateful for that, but it continued to feed this external validation where my identity was all wrapped up in what I achieved in corporate. Right. how I added value, how I made my bosses look good, how I helped the bottom line. And those are all good things. Like don't get me wrong. All amazing, amazing things, right? But it fueled, was the only fuel, only fuel for my self-worth and my identity. ⁓ Which when things shifted, I changed companies to the company that I'm with now, it was a very different environment. went from. you know, individual contributor to vice president in that one company over 20 years, managing over 80, the renewal of $80 million in recurring revenue to a smaller startup type company at HX during the pandemic. So everything was virtual, right? Nobody knew me, right? So the pre my previous company, everybody knew me. They like, grew up with these people. Yeah. A group of us started in our early twenties. You know, and here I am in my early 40s at this point, like I know these people, but now I'm in this new place with this new mission, with this C-level role, and I'm like wanting to roll up my sleeves and like make my mark as the only female at the leadership table, right? And yeah, of course. I mean, I was like, let's go, right? And I was gonna continue to prove my worth, but the dynamic was just different with it being a smaller company, with it being during the pandemic, everybody's remote, nobody knows me, nobody knows my background. And so this immediate spicket of validation and approval that I had had for so many years was turned off. now. it's not like, mean, absolutely there's like, it's not anything against the team that I still work with. just, it was just a different dynamic, right? Different dynamic, smaller company, but I found myself in identity crisis. Cause I'm like, okay, why, why, why do I feel like I'm lost? Why do I feel like I don't know who I am? or my place, you know? so that, gratefully, I had enough awareness to say, okay, it bothers me that this is how my life is. This bothers me that my self-esteem and my self-worth are tied to these things, tied to what other people are saying about me or my performance or my contribution. I didn't know what to do with that for a while. ⁓ I quite honestly, like I knew in it, like it really, it really kind of pissed me off. I'm like, why does this bother me so much? Right. But I didn't, I didn't have the tools. I didn't have the skills. I didn't have the words or the language to figure out what was going on. So I, so I would just drink wine every night. Yeah. I've there. I've been in that place before too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, and it took me a little bit to figure out because again, like I always felt like I wasn't enough. And so I was always trying to figure out, okay, what can I do to be enough? What can I do to get into the good favor of the people that I work with and for? Yeah. You know, and that's if you spend time in that place for a period of time, it's exhausting. It is exhausting. my God. Talk about being in the funk. Can I get an amen? Amen, right? I'm getting that sign. Yes. Yes. When I look back and hearing you talk about it, and I've already mentioned my imposter syndrome and my inner critic, but I suppose that's my way of saying I too is having an identity crisis because I was all tied up in this person who was a badass. I mean, I was really good, but it never felt like home to me. I always felt like I was playing a role, and I've actually talked about this where I could... literally look over and see the person who was dressed in a suit and sitting on stage and a panel and leading a panel or I'm in front of the justice answering questions. Right. I look at that person. I'm like, who is that person? And that is sort of my way. think that that, but we don't know it when it's happening to us, right? We don't realize that it's an identity crisis. have no idea. Before we move on to your pivot point and, you know what you're doing now, I do want to come back to the years when you were in the corporate environment and that identity that you are holding tied to your work because you had a personal life, right? I mean, you were a wife and a mother, and I know you've talked about that a little bit. So how was was that playing into that identity crisis you were building? Yeah. So not my finest moment. I'm just going to tell you, while I was exceeding in the workplace, I can look back and see how I was not as present. as I could have been. So I've been married to my husband for this year will be 27 years. We have two boys, 19 and 22. Thank you. And he is God a saint. mean, like he, he just, he's so supportive. And I'm so grateful for that. Our boys, when I was really in the throes of climbing the corporate ladder, it was when my boys were in like middle school and high school. And so those are really critical times for our boys, right? Exactly. And so I wasn't, I wouldn't say that I was absent, but there are, there could have been more present and let me, let me share like what that means. So, you know, I would be, you know, I would go to games and concerts and all of those things. Right. But because my best energy, my best self, my best, ⁓ they got like, my work got the first of all of the things from me. they got, you know, I was in the office. you know, early, I worked late and then, you know, if I, you know, went to a practice or a game or whatever, it was, I was so mentally exhausted because I gave my best to the work. Right. And so now, you know, my husband definitely was stood in the gap there. And I think that there are seasons in marriages with families where, you know, ebbs and flows. And so there was a little bit of that, but I can look absolutely, absolutely. I think. Brene Brown says something about like, people say marriage is 50-50. It's not 50-50. Sometimes you got 75 and the other person's got it. Yeah. Can do 25. Like I just, it's such a beautiful, a beautiful example. And so I would say using that analogy that those years, especially in the, probably the three or four years prior to me leaving and going over to a hundred X. It was really like 80 20, Jeff was carrying 80 and I was doing 20 because I just didn't have the capacity. And, I was still like, I was still drinking quite a bit. in that, was even before a hundred acts. so that I've got regret. mean, I do have some regrets. I've, I've processed that and kind of released that and realized that now in this moment, as my, my children are young adults trying to navigate the world of. adulting in this like society, I can show up for them in a new way. Right? So I try not to let the past weigh me down because one, it's not productive. Two, you just need to learn from it and then shift your behavior, which is what I'm doing now. So yeah. Yeah, exactly. when you, the survival patterns, like you see them now you work with people on what their survival patterns are. It's when you look back on those years. Yeah. two, three survival patterns, what would you call them? Yeah, so survival pattern, definitely I would say that like the coping mechanism survive, like what I did to survive. So yeah, drinking, drinking, I will say I was not an alcoholic. I actually had that confirmed recently that my drinking patterns were not alcoholism. ⁓ there's no judgment there, but I use that to escape numb and ignore that daily glass or three of wine. Yeah, me too. Reckless sometimes. Yeah, I'm lucky. I've got God's grace has saved me and others from the worst. Yeah. Yeah. And I would say I had a couple of those as well. So drinking, numbing out, ⁓ ignoring, scrolling, binge watching, of those things, because I was so focused on making sure that my worth and identity were intact and tied to, because they were tied to what I was doing in business, that anything outside of that, I just wanted to ignore. just wanted to. I wanted to get away from. And so I would tune into scrolling or binge watching or drinking. And that left me, you know, in 2019, was 50 pounds overweight. My blood pressure was out of control, could not get regulated. That led me into a little bit of a health crisis that I was able to turn around. But those survival patterns, but all of it, all of those things, they're all layers on top of the wound of not feeling enough. Yeah. Yeah. I know all of those patterns. Yeah. So would you say then that the pattern in the work environment, what people would have seen was perhaps perfectionism. Oh, sure. Like you can do no wrong. You're wonderful and great at everything you did. Yes. I perfectionism. I definitely did wrong. People pleasing. A lot of people pleasing. Controls? Of course. Of course. And I think we all, and maybe not everybody, but for me, like I have this story of what I thought success looked like. And so my control was to navigate and stay close to that vision. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What would, what would the people that worked with you back in those days at the end, like say the two, three years before you left, how would they describe your leadership style? Positive. Yeah. I've generally been known as a pretty positive person. So positive, extremely loyal. always had somebody's always had somebody's back. especially, mean, I've, I've managed teams for, you know, a long time. would say that probably the people who worked for me would, would say that I cared about them first and tried to make sure that they were in roles and positions where they felt like they could contribute versus, toting the company line, alignment, even before I knew that that was a thing, that was always important with the people that worked for me. Yeah, it's interesting. I think there's so many survival patterns that are common to all of us. It just shows up in different ways. Exactly. Totally agree with you. So let's talk about the pivot. You've mentioned it a couple of times in 2019. I think you've talked about two of them, one in 2019, which I think is the health scare and then in 2023 is when you went to 100X. Just walk us through what were the major aspects of those pivots? for sure. 2019, the pivot that around my health actually was very common, probably for women walking into your closet. And this was pre-pandemic, so I'm in an office five days a week, but walking into my closet and not being able to fit or feel comfortable in any of my clothes. And it was that point where the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of change. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And so at that point, like I reached out to a friend who was dropping weight, like it was her business and I was like, okay, what is this? What are you doing? And so she shared it with me I was like, listen, I've got nothing to lose except the weight. I started on this program and I had a lot of success. I mean, the weight was melting off of me. definitely in the first 60 days, people were like, what are you doing? ⁓ and, and that's actually why I decided to help somebody else do the same thing, but in 10 months I lost 50 pounds. I also have an autoimmune condition, which creates wreak some havoc when you're in a weight loss scenario. But what I found uncovered in that was a confidence and kind of a, I don't know, like a little swagger that was under the surface that kind of emerged out of that. You have a confidence in the swagger. That's just fun. ⁓ well, thank you. Thank you. you. you. Thank Thank you. Now I will say, you know, hitting the pandemic, like, you know, everybody kind of lost their mind in the pandemic, which was phenomenal for me as a health coach, because, because when people were starting to get back into buttoned up pants, instead of stretchy yoga pants, they needed me. And so I helped hundreds of people lose weight over, you know, those handful of years in the program that I that I coached phenomenal. But There was something that was missing in that program that actually leads, led me to what I'm doing today, which we'll put a pin in that and come back to that. Okay. So the second pivot. Um, so I started with a hundred X in June of 2020, but really where, um, and this is where this is probably the biggest funk that I've been in ever in my life is that role was evolving in small companies. You know, everybody wears multiple hats. Yeah, absolutely. I being the one who wants. who has their worth and identity tied into making people happy and being successful and all of these things. I'm like, let's roll up our sleeves. Let's figure it out. Well, I'll tell you in like mid 2022, it became clear that success was going in the role that I was in was going to require me to do these things that were totally outside my skillset. So to give you, to give the audience just a little bit of contrast here. My background was in software and technology operations. I worked for software and technology companies for two decades. This is a data and insights company and I was specifically working with nonprofits and foundations in our data collection model, which is such a cool program, by the way, 100X causes, amazing program. But part of it was about going out and developing relationships with large national nonprofits and foundations at that time. It wasn't a skillset that I had. so. being the bright, ambitious person that I am, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna try to figure this out. And everything I did didn't actually yield the results. And so was very frustrating for me. And I got to the point in early 2023, I was like, so, I felt so misaligned. just like misaligned as the word, but I just felt like not like me. Like all of the things, everything I said I believed in and valued was not reflected in my actions. And it just made me feel incongruent, right? And so that was at the point, this is the end of January, 2023, where I decided, okay, I need to, I'm going to lay off the one to three glasses of wine every night because that's contributing to how I show up every day. Like I sleep like crap. I wake up, you know, know, foggy brained, you know, I'm rushing through my day. My day is managing me versus me managing my day. Right. And so I decided to stop drinking and I said, I'm going to do a hundred days. I didn't, my husband knew. None of my closest friends knew. didn't tell anybody that I was doing it because I was scared I was going to fail. Plus you got to remember at this time I was a health coach. was one on one coaching and coaching my coaches clients as well. Lots of people. So for me to be publicly out there to say I'm a health coach and yes, I'm battling with not pouring a glass of wine every night because I can't stand how misaligned I feel in my job. Like that's a very vulnerable place to be. It is so holy crap. Right. Because again, at the time, my identity was all wrapped up in the success of this role. And I was like, it was, it was coming to a head. Not six weeks later. I'm on a zoom with my boss, literally sitting in this seat on a zoom with my zoom with my boss. And I said, the single scariest thing I've ever uttered in my adult life. ⁓ cause we're talking about the year and the goals and all of that. And I looked at him and I was like, if If success in this role means I have to spend 50 % of my time doing these things, then I'm not the right person for the role. And I literally, it was one of those moments where you can like, know, like you're all the sensations in your face, the tears are like wanting to burst out, but you're on the phone with your male coworker, you know, supervisor, and you don't want to be the girl that cries. know, you know, guess like it's, and so, I mean, I was putting it all on the line, but it was, But I'm so, so grateful that I actually uttered those words and spoke my truth in that moment. Yes. Because, and I mean, he's amazing. I still work with him today, but he, he was, he said, well, what if you could focus on the part of the role that you love and we give this part to somebody else. And then you have more time for your coaching business, which at the time was health coaching. And I looked at him and I was like, that sounds amazing. Now there were lots of implications around that, right? Because again, like I had a C level role. was the only female leader, you know, at the, at the company and that kind of level at the time. And that shift would probably mean a title change, which it did a salary change, which it did an influence change, which it did. And so, so over the, like the following six weeks, we kind of. charted out what this position could look like, what my title would be, what my salary would be, all of these things, right? And I'm gonna be honest with you, that wasn't easy to do because at the same time as we were having this conversation, I was starting to deconstruct what success looked like for me. Because I had held that version of success, like C-level title, six figure salary, equity, influence, all of these things for years. But here I am. proactively saying, I'm not the right person for this role and trying to navigate through having a conversation to restructure what that looks like. So, and I will also tell you, girl, had I been drinking during that season, there is absolutely no way I would have navigated it. No way. No way. I mean, ⁓ my God, a hundred percent. And so I absolutely believe, like I can look back now, hindsight's always 2020, but this is like, This is divine orchestration in my life. 100 % of my, I didn't, yes. I didn't, I didn't see it at the time, but I can look back and it's like, Oh, this is, they're guiding me. Oh my gosh. six weeks, six weeks after we had that conversation, I stepped into this new role. Big pay cut title change went from a C level title to director of a hundred X causes operations. And let me tell you sister. Absolutely love what I do. I'm doing the same thing today as I was doing. ⁓ my gosh. Like I literally I love this company. I love what we do. I love the people. I love the mission and I now am in the right lane on the highway. Yeah. Yeah. So to be my gosh. And so I literally, ⁓ my, but here's the other thing. So I will say I had a little PTSD in the first probably like six weeks trying to navigate the fact that navigate that I wasn't responsible for these things. And so it was okay to say, okay, this person's going to take this over. We're going to focus on this. But what it freed up for me from a mental bandwidth perspective. I mean, my gosh. And it gave me capacity to be open for opportunities that I would not have been able to say yes to if I had stayed in the role, like writing a book. Like going through a spiritual awakening, being introduced to energy, energy healing and, and diving into things like energetics and manifestation and quantum physics and all of these things, which are like absolute freaking game changers. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to come around to what you're doing now in just a minute. Cause it's really cool work. But I do want to ask you, cause you mentioned, you mentioned showing up and I want to ask you. What's the difference between the way that you show up as a leader today and how you were showing up as a leader in your previous corporate life? Well, I will say that, and I still manage a team, so I definitely am intentional about asking and making sure that the people who I'm working with and alongside with, I I talked to a lot of the, I talked to a lot of women like in the company and in other companies too, but One of the first things I ask them is, you enjoy what you're doing? Are you doing something that you're good at? And do you like the environment that you're working in? Like it's those three things. actually write about this as a step formula in my book around finding purpose alignment, right? Because you can, you can do something that you're good at, but not like it. Right? What I know now, I was really good at it. liked it when I didn't like it anymore. Exactly. You can do something. Yes, absolutely. You can do something that you're good at. that you enjoy, but be in a crummy environment and that'll tank it. And so I'm looking, I'm engaging through that lens because I know what it feels like to operate from misalignment. Right? So it definitely is a more holistic view of how I engage with people, whether they work for me or work, you know, alongside me in other capacities or just people that I coach. It's like, we only have, we have this life right here. We're here for a purpose. Right. And so if what is fueling your desire to, you know, get up, get ahead, you know, climb the corporate ladder is a lack of self worth. That's the wrong fuel. Yeah. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. And I love, I love the three, three questions that you think about or that you asked the people who work with you, because I agree with you. Those are three very important aspects that all need to be there. you're going to keep somewhere around. I think what's missing in a lot of leadership styles is that we don't carry forward what the real cost is. So there's a personal cost for the employee. There's a personal cost for you as a leader, but then there's also the cost for the business. When somebody's unhappy, they're not performing as well as they could. They're probably going to leave. So now you're back to the whole hiring and training process all over again. There's a gap in getting the work done. You as the leader, you're carrying the gap. mean, we don't, we don't think about those things tied back to our leadership style and the way that we try to show the employee, way we show up and the way that we see the employee as a human being first, not somebody who is a, favorite two words, either our best asset or a company resource, which I think are both terrible things to say. ⁓ No people, because it tells you all you need to know about how we actually, what we actually think about them in the workplace. I am a, I love, I love what you're saying about that. Cause it's really great. think it's super important. So now emotional baggage, you've had your experience, dealing with that, identifying it, healing it, getting rid of it. And that's led you to part of what you do today. So tell us a little bit about that. Yeah. So two years ago, I was working with a coach who helps business owners, you know, scale their businesses, manifest the businesses that they want using energetics. And one of the things that she brought into this program was a practitioner of the emotion code. because as she's working with people who are have big dreams, want to manifest their a lot of limiting beliefs and emotional baggage that block that. this was somebody that she brought in to help her, her clients kind of release some of that emotional baggage. That's how I was introduced to energy healing. I had no idea what any of that was, but I was so fascinated by it. could not like, after my first emotion code session, within the first like 24 hours, could, like I had little aches and pains or whatever. And when I asked the practitioner about it, she was like, oh, that's you releasing the trapped emotions. That's your body processing the release and not. that two days later I woke up and it was like a weight had been lifted off my, like an emotional weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And I was like, there is really something to this. And so I did more sessions and I was like, this is so fascinating. would love, like I would love to learn how to do this to help my, help my boys. Because again, at that point, you know, I was still had some of that kind of mom guilt. I didn't show up for them the way I should. I probably am going to need to send them to therapy because of how crappy of a mother I was. So in my head I'm thinking. I'm going to get certified so I can help my family. So I got certified. and at the same time and same timeframe that I was writing my book. So this is in 2024. was writing my book in 2024 and I started the certification process in the fall. And I remember going through it and realizing I'm going to use this in my business. I don't know how, I don't know how it's going to come together, but I know that I am, um, because this is such powerful work. And so what has emerged through time, I wish, you know, everybody wishes they had the answer today of how this is going to manifest, but it truly came through a process of my growth and healing and awakening and all of that. So what I do is I ⁓ help people release their trapped emotions. So if we think about trapped emotions, ⁓ we think about like a negative emotion that wasn't processed in a healthy way, in a way that it could move through you. Right. And so that, that, the energy of that negative emotion gets lodged in the body. So think of like a little ball of energy gets lodged in the body. And as we have these negative, cause life is going to life, have negative things that happen. we don't acknowledge, ⁓ a tune anchor, ⁓ all of those, like that process, then we should just store that. And so the way that manifests. is when we are triggered, we're going to have maybe an outsized reaction to something that doesn't make sense, right? Because there's an underlying wound there that gets poked and it's that negative emotion. And we all have like hundreds of trapped emotions and heart wall and all of those types of things. And so what I do with the emotion code is I connect to your subconscious, which again, This is an energy, this is an energy healing modality and energy is not bound by time or space. So I've got clients, you know, in different countries, for example, that I do sessions for. So I connect, I liken that connection to your, let me connect to your wifi and your consent is like giving me the password. Great thing to say. Yes. Okay. So like I can't, I can't go in like, I can't go clear the emotional baggage of the president of the United States if wishing made it so can't do it. Right? Because I don't have his consent, but like with your consent, can use, I use muscle testing to identify what the trapped emotion is. I can find out more information about it, like what age it was trapped and also like, or if it was inherited. like we have, there's generational trapped emotions that we bring in at the time at their past at the time of conception. and I, interesting, I had a client who I was doing, ⁓ clearing with and there was inherited trapped emotion. I don't remember what the emotion was, but it went back 17 generations. And so when I release that, when I released the trapped emotion, I'm releasing it for anybody dead or alive who holds that vibration. So we literally are releasing generational trauma. And what I mean, it's, it's amazing. is so cool. reaction that you see is exciting for me because I'm actually doing one sessions with you on Monday. Yeah. So I do a lot of energy healing work anyhow through Reiki. I've done it through EMDR. do it through family constellation work and I've done it through what's called network spinal, which is a chiropractic specialization. I do, I, it is, it is very real. What you said, it's real. is. I do a lot of it in the family constellation work. I'm back four generations. So I'm interested to see what's going to happen on. Yeah. I mean, I heal, seem to be like my journey of healing seems to be. Well, you we're gonna deal with this relationship first. Now we're gonna deal with this relationship. And so I feel like what we're gonna do is gonna be related to the relationship that I'm healing right now, which, oh, by the way, for any of you listening to this, those of us who are out here doing this kind of work, there is a human being behind every one of us who is still healing and will always be healing for our entire lifetime, right? So I'm just saying, but I am, super excited for Monday to see what happens. we go with that. Because it sounds super cool. It's so cool. And we can actually set the intention about something specific, right? So we'll that. Well, absolutely. Or we can just, or we can do like whatever is ready to be released for your highest good. But I will tell you, yeah, absolutely. We can absolutely do that. But this is like, they're trapped emotions are tied to most pain processes, most diseases, all of that. And so like I've, I have released trapped emotions. for my dad's wife who has back issues. And I literally after a trapped emotion release take her from a seven on the pain scale to a two. So like this is very, very powerful stuff. The body keeps score, right? All this stuff that- yes. is powerful. Yeah, it really is. All right, I have one last question for you. So let's say that you're sitting across the table from someone like me when I was back in those days. I'm performing at a super high level, hitting every metric. Everybody loves me. I'm doing all the things. But you can probably feel now because of what you do, what I was carrying back then. What would you say to me? I would encourage you to look at what is motivating, what is fueling the desire to, well, I'd ask you what your goal is. I'd ask you what you're trying to achieve and then ask what's actually fueling it. So let me complicate this question for you a little more. Sure. Sure. Let's talk about it. So I struggle and I've always struggled with goal setting. Where am I going? What am I after? What am I doing? I always just felt like I was on the upward conveyor belt. striving for anything, not making choices. I was just really good at what I did and I just kept bringing up that conveyor belt. So for somebody who looks at you like you have three heads when you ask them like, what are you talking about? Also somebody who could not. tell you what my emotional needs were back then. know I you to ask that question. I've been like, I really have. What do you say to that? What do you say to that person? Yeah, I would say, what do you want to create in your life? So take it out, take it out of the workplace. Like, what do you want in your life? Like when you have an image of like what you want your life to look like, what is that? And then start authorship, authorship, which I don't think we're good at either. And I You know, I sort of really complicate this for you. And the truth of the matter is, it's not something that anybody in that position would ever be able to look you in the eye and immediately respond. No, because we have that weight of everything that we're carrying that stifles us and we don't actually know. And it's the healing work that I know that, you know, that moves us to the place where I can actually answer a question like that for you. So think when you ask that question, it's really planting the seed for somebody to go, wait a minute, I'm not actually living for me. Right. I'm living for everyone else. Bingo. And then you start to explore why am I living for everyone else and in this performative role that I'm in for everybody and not really. Right. And then you start to explore. That's when we get to heal. ⁓ yes. Absolutely. Love it. who we truly are, our pain to purpose moments, which I'm one of those people, I think you are as well. And that's, it's amazing. It's why we're here on this earth to be able to share what we do now so we can get other people out of the funk. Right? Come on girl. Yes, absolutely. All right, Molly, I've loved having you on the show today. It's been a great conversation and I love your energy and thanks so much for being here. Thanks to all of you for joining us today. That is what we're here for. Honest conversations about the survival patterns that are driving your leadership behavior and what it takes to change them. That's what we're here for. Honest conversations about the survival patterns driving your leadership behavior and what it takes to change them. If today's conversation stirred something in you, if you recognized yourself and what we discussed or simply have the feeling that something isn't working the way that it should, I want to hear from you. Email me at beth at empowered survivors dot com. That comes straight to my inbox. No gatekeeping, just an honest conversation. about where you are and how I can help you. And if you want to learn more about how I work with leaders and organizations, whether that's speaking, coaching, or bringing this conversation into your workplace, visit me at empoweredsurvivors.com. Everything you need to know about how I serve people is right there.