Matthew Emerzian

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Hello, and welcome to Leaders Creating Ruckus on Rucus Avenue Radio,
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the world's largest South Asian radio and podcast network. Here
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on iHeartRadio, I am your host, Oshiurura, founder of Irise
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Executive Coaching. I bring over twenty five years of leadership
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experience and specialize in guiding professionals to transform conflict into
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collaboration through my strength based Irise model. Our show dives
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into the minds of visionary, bold leaders who challenge the
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status quo, from business innovators to cultural pioneers. Expect candid
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conversations about radical thinking, breakthrough strategies, and the courage to
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blaze new trails. Let's inspire transformations in your professional as
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well as personal life together I mean.
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Check out Rucus Avenue Radio dot com for our full
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schedule and listen to past episodes available on all major
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podcast platforms.
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And now I'd like to introduce Matt Immersion. Matthew Matt,
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Welcome to Leaders Creating Ruckus.
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Thank you, Ashi. Let's create some Ruckus. Let's do this,
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Let's do this.
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Oh my gosh, the first time I stuck to you,
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I was like, Wow, I got to have this guy
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on my show. Within ten minutes, you were telling me
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all kinds of things you've gone through. You were so
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open and yet so charismatic and humble, and it's I'm
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super super excited to have you on the show today.
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Well, thank you.
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I mean meeting you the way it all started, I
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was like, Okay, this is so perfect.
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I'm ready to be on our show.
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And ultimately my hope is like I can say something
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that serves your listeners and you know, in whatever parts
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of their life they're looking for.
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But I'm honored to be here. And you're a hoot.
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I don't know if you've ever been described as a
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hoop before, but you are one, and I'm excited to be here.
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It's laugh it's still laugh.
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Is that what it is?
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You know if you laugh in life? I mean, rightly, yeah,
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it's kind of how you laugh. You have to. You've
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got to laugh, especially the way the world is right now.
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I mean it's it's tragic, it's sad, and yet at
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the same time, like we've got to find those moments
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of joy and.
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Laugh about them, right, So one hundred percent absolutely.
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Finding that balance. So matt our listeners don't know who
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you are. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
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Yeah, so, I mean of all the chapters of my life. Currently,
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I am the founder and CEO of a nonprofit organization
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called Every Monday Matters that I started nineteen years ago,
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and I am an author. So my fifth book just
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came out on May fifth of this yearations, thank you.
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It's very exciting. It just hit the USA Today bestseller list,
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which is cool, very cool.
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A couple of weeks impressive.
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I know, I know.
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And it actually came out on the same day my
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father passed away, so it's been quite an interesting couple
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of weeks. And then also, I'm a keynote speaker, so
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I do quite a bit of a keynote speaking as well.
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That's who I am today in terms of my work
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and in terms of as a person. I'm a husband,
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I'm a brother, a son, a dear friend, and I'm
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kind of refused to grow up. Even though my body
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keeps getting older.
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I hear that. I feel like I'm much more active
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than I was even ten fifteen years ago. And yeah,
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let my age slow me down. So tell us about
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where you grew up.
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I grew up in a town called Modesto, California. Not
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sure if your audience is really really familiar with Modesto,
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but it was a It's in the heartland of California,
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so one of the largest agricultural communities, not just in
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the country but in the world, and so it was
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a great upbringing, very simple. You know, we swam in canal,
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we partied in orchards, and you know, we knew our neighbors.
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I grew up in a community called Sherwood Forest and
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literally our cul de sacs called Buckingham Court, which is
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off of Little John and King Richard.
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So like that's where I grew up.
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I loved it, but I quickly was ready to move
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on from it, and so I came down to Los
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Angeles to go to college at UCLA. I also played
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a sport called water polo. Not sure if your audience
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is familiar with water polo.
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Definitely, I think our first water polo player on the
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on the.
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Love horses and water at all.
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I yeah, yeah, I love UCLA and then and then
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I've been in Southern California ever since quite a bit.
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Now went back to grad school about my master's in business,
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and yeah, this's been you know, Northern California and southern
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California for the most I've traveled a lot, which is nice.
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So I've seen much of the world, but for the
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most part, I was being born and raised in California.
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Yeah, so very relatable. I was also spent a lot
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of time in California. I've been in California since I
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was about two and spent a fair amount of time
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in Central California. When I was younger, we were in Fresno,
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so kind of know those roots. And in fact, my
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great great uncle came in the very early nineteen twenties
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we suspect or third maybe even nineteen thirties, I don't
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know the exact timeframe, to Yuba City and settled there.
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Yeah. Yeah, And my great grandparents came to Fresno.
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Yeah, in my great grandpa's came to Fresno in nineteen fourteen,
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so my mom's side is from Fresno. So I know
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Fresno very very I'll be driving through Fresno tomorrow.
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Actually interesting. Yeah, and yeah, I mean I was, I
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was a lot younger. I remember some parts of it,
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but it was just that tide kind of back to
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home because the area of India that my family's from, Punjab,
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is you know, like large farming communities. My grandfather was
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a farmer, and so California always reminds me of like,
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you know, a bit of Punjab that way, because there's
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just so much farmland here.
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Have you been back there recently at all? Yeah?
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Yeah, I go back quite often actually, So last time
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I went was late twenty twenty four.
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Yeah, oh, not that long ago.
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Yeah yeah.
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And how does how does it compare when you go, Like,
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what do you notice that's different from here? I mean
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maybe not like in the obvious ways, but like kind
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of in like the heart and soul ways.
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It's just doing just doing life.
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Yeah. So, so I think there's there's different parts to India.
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I mean, first of all, it's the most populous country.
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I think it's surpassed China. I could be wrong, but
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I believe it has. So there's the urban, more westernized India,
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and then there's still a large part of India that
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is the traditional, you know, eastern part of India in
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the sense that when you look at the urban centers,
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you can feel a lot like wow, this seems like
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American or European culture. You know, like you see you
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see a lot of working women, like or households where
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it's a dual household income, people living in a lot
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of urban centers having certain parts of their lifestyle like
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eating habits and socialization habits, you know, very much like individualized.
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So when I think of American culture in a lot
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of ways, it feels more individualistic. It's a lot of
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the focus on the individual. More so in the Eastern cultures,
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like in India, there's a lot of focus on the community.
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And so when you go when you're in more traditional
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neighborhoods or like if I go back to some of
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the cities that my parents grew up in or the
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towns that they grew up in, it's like everyone kind
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of knows your business, and people live you know, larger
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groups or like multi generational families. And it's not just
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a financial reason. Because we were starting to see that
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in California, right, We're starting to see, like especially in
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lys people are building out right more housing on their
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properties because their kids or their parents can't afford to live, right.
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That's right, Like the new homeless is like yeah, yeah, But.
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In India, like culturally speaking, it's it's not necessarily a
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financial decision. It's more like obligation duty or you know,
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this is just what we do. This is part of
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our culture. We live together, right, you know, we have
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this sense of communal family living that the grandparents are
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very much involved with the grandkids and really take a
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part of their upbringing. And so when I go back,
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I see like two Indias. When I was younger, I
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used to see, you know, one India, but now I
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see like different in different parts of India where it's like, oh,
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there's the western side and then there's the traditional side,
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and it's it's fascinating because well, i was born and
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raised in the US, but I've been fortunate enough to
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have gone very often, versus other friends that I have
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that were born and raised in the US maybe didn't
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go to India back as often, so each time they
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went it felt more shocking to them, whereas all I
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felt a little more integrated into the culture and yeah,
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the language and customs and stuff, because it was so
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much part of my childhood and upbringing. Like going home,
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going back, I still call it home, I guess, you know,
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going there.
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Yeah anyway, Yeah, I call my desta home too. It's
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so wild and I would imagine for you, just the
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you know, the short time I've known you, you appreciate
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both the Western and the Eastern part of all that.
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Trying to, yeah, to find the best of both.
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Yeah, yeah, for sure that balance.
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What about any cultural ethnic roots for you just out
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of curiosity, if that's if you identify with any.
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Particular Yeah, I mean, I'm Urmenian as our heritage, family heritage,
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and both my mom and dad are Armenian. And you know,
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it's funny because a lot of our Menians like here
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in Los Angeles. There's a lot of our Meenians in
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Los Angeles out in a part of lat called Glendale.
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And there's also a lot of Armenians in Fresno, as
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you probably know from a short time in Fresno. What's
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interesting is that the Armenians in Glendale here in Los
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Angeles have kind of come here more recently. And so
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when the genocide happened in Armenia, a lot of folks
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either fled United States through Els Island and New York.
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Give us some historical context that would be helpful, like
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kind of time frame for those who aren't familiar.
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Yeah, So inteen.
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Nineteen thirteen, fourteen, early nineteen hundreds, Turkey came in and
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devastated Armenia and there was a genocide that happened. It's
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complicated because our US government doesn't acknowledge that it happened.
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That president has yet to acknowledge it, because we have
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a very hard military based in Turkey.
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You really learned in our history books. I mean I
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don't remember I learned about World War One, but I
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definitely didn't learn about Turkey and art.
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Yes, yeah, yeah, millions of Armenians were killed, and there's
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a lot of history out there that you can read
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about it. I have Turkish friends. It's not something that
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I carry against people, you know at all, But but
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it happened, and you know, largely for religious reasons as well,
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because Armenia is is quote unquote considered the first Christian nation,
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so they believe that like Noah's arc is in Armenia.
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And yeah, so.
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But here because my family came straight from the United States.
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I'm third generation American, and where we grew up in Modesto, California,
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there were not many Armenian families at all. So in
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an interesting way, like the language you know, slowly gets
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lost over time, and the food, the recipes carry over
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over time. But back in the day, and I you know,
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you see this a lot even today when a when
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a minority group comes here from another country. Also it's
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not okay to have friends outside of that group either.
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And you stay together, right and you you marry with,
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you marry within. And so there was a lot of
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that in our in here in California and Fresno, uh,
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where you know, you married Armenian or you didn't get
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married sort of thing.
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Yeah, I can definitely relate to that in the generation
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where my parents were immigrants, and that was the expectation
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for us, which was most of your good friends are
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going to be of Indian descent and you're going to
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struct you know and being born.
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Yeah, and my mom and dad, although they appreciated that, uh,
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they also they also were more open to this, No,
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we have to assimilate into the culture and we can't
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just continue to silo ourselves off from this West during
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American culture that we're now a part of that brings
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in Armenians and Italians and South Asian and Asians, you know,
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all the above. So those those barriers kind of started
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to go down as my brother and I were growing
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up and when even in our dating life, well, first
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of all, there were not a lot of Armenian girls
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around the date in modesto if eddie. But secondly, it
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just wasn't They just said, you know what, if you're
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happy and you love this person, then then that's what
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we care about the most. So some of those traditions
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started to go away a little bit.
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Now or your parents were the original ruckus leaders, you know,
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like creating.
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Yeah, well, my mom had a boyfriend in high school
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and my grandfather, her dad, made it very clear that
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there is a cap on that relationship. So even my
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mom felt that pressure from you know, her parents. My
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mom was the first Armenian woman allowed in the Greek
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system at her at her university, so you know, there
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was a lot of stuff they were dealing with. So
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you know, we're the we are. You know, we're standing
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on the shoulders of a lot of people that made
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our life a lot easier, my brother and I by
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coming here first, right and the hardship.
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Of all Yeah, I'm.
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Sure, I'm sure you can.
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But then so you have me the quote unquote non
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traditional you know, bad Armenian here in Los Angeles, where
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there's all these Armenians that have come here more recently
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and because when the genocide happened, they fled to surrounding
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Middle Eastern countries, and so they stayed in the Middle
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East and then came over here more recently. So they
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barely speak English. And so the fact that I'm Armenian,
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I don't speak the language and I married a woman
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who is not Armenian, for a lot of these folks
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here like, I'm a disgrace. I've just said these to
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these exact words, i am a disgrace to the motherland.
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You're listening to Ruckus Avenue Radio.
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And it's really fascinating, and They're like, no, you're not
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our Meeni, and I'm like, yeah, I'm just as Armanian
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as you are.
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I just happened to grow up here. So that's all
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I just said.
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Maybe yeah, I'm like, it's so relatable because I feel
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this odd way already in my generation. And like I said,
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I think I'm unique in that I was so exposed
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more to the culture and language and customs we have
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other friends. And then even I see this in you know,
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my children and others, like if they haven't had as
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much exposure or they've integrated more into American culture and customs, like,
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but I wouldn't say they're any less Indian than I
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am right.
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That's right, that's right. Of course they're not, of course
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they're not. We're just you know, we're we're also products
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of our surroundings and things. And the value system, I
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think is the most important, the value system of the
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Armenian way of you work hard, you know, you love people,
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you stay grounded down to earth. The way that I
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learned what this culture was because my family brought over
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the old Armenian way, you know, here to America. I
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will say this that a lot of the Armenians that
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went to surrounding other Middle Eastern countries, they grew up
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in a more aggressive culture. Sure, you know, they they
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saw bombs, they saw war, they saw a lot of
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this stuff. And so in my opinion, a lot of
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the Armenians that are here in Glendale are hardened. And
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you know, there's a lot of white collar crime, there's
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a lot of there's gangs, and a lot of this
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stuff that I don't from my understanding, was not a
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part of the original Armenia that everyone.
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Fled in the early nineteen hundreds.
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So somewhere along the way they picked up their new
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habits as well. Ours just happened to be picking up
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habits in a small farm, you know, farmland where you
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love your neighbor when you borrow eggs and milk.
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Yeah, probably was more in tune with the traditional Armenia
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pre genocide days.
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Like how it would I would believe that to be
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the case. Yes, yeah, that's so.
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Sometimes I actually and I would never say this, but when
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people say, you know you're you're not Armenian, sometimes I
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want to see, actually, I think I'm more Armenian than
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you are. Yeah, but I don't go there with people.
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I'm like, it's all good. What you want. Here's my drivers,
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like so that you can see my last name.
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Yeah, Every Monday Matters. Tell us the job to that,
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tell us a little bit more about So we heard
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you were you were Bruin just like I am.
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So let's go Bruins.
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Yep. No, and you know we're like phill Us in
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from like your early career onto Every Monday matter I'm
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fascinated with that title. It's it's really nice.
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Well thank you.
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Yeah, so I was, you know, my brother, my older brother.
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I joke all the time about this, but my older
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brother was the golden child. Okay, like he never did
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anything wrong. Okay, like to this day, he's never had
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a cavity and he's fifty eight years old. And then
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I was the younger brother. My mom says she wanted
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four boys. Once she had me at number two, she
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said that's it. And she said if I was the first,
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I'd be an olnie. So now she says I'm the
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daughter she never had. So I don't really know how
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to process all this, but it's something to talk about
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in therapy anyways. So I was a handful. I was curious,
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you know, I was ruckus in a way. I was
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always looking outside the box, you like, order, or to
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00:20:02.359 --> 00:20:05.720
push the borders, the boundaries of the box, like, no,
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what's what's on the other side of that, you know.
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And again in the traditional kind of conservative Armanian family,
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you know, I was making some choices that kind of
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sat my, you know, my family a little bit sideways
347
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at times. But I was just that curious kid. So
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when I came to UCLA to go to college, when
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I graduated, I went through a season of a ton
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of jobs in a very short period of time, just
351
00:20:28.440 --> 00:20:31.599
trying to find myself. From selling candy for two years
352
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for eminem Mars to starting a sim lessons company, to
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being a teacher, to being an EMT. I was just
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trying to find like my path in life.
355
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But that's the truth, is that to try all these
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different paths in a way too, Like.
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I'm glad you thought it was cool. Some people I
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did not think it was so cool, but I appreciate that.
359
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So I was, yes, different, different for you know, areas
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that I didn't get to try, you know, like and
361
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I wonder sometimes would I ever go back to, you know,
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working in retail or working at Disneyland or you know,
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all these all these.
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Other It's fun to think about.
365
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Yeah, it is fun to think about.
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I mean, and sometimes I say this and this. No,
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it's not a put down to anyone who sells shoes
368
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for a living, but like sometimes I wish, because we
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live right by nor Shums in Bloomingdale's, sometimes I wish
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I would be content going over there and.
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Just selling shoes.
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You know, I go there, I do the work, I
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work hard, and when I'm done with work, I'm probably
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not thinking about shoes that much.
375
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But it's good not to put that down.
376
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But for some whatever reason, my brain is wired that
377
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I'm constantly looking and thinking and feeling and so eventually
378
00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:45.519
my journey of finding myself landing me back at school
379
00:21:45.559 --> 00:21:48.880
again at the Anderson School in Management, UCLA, got my MBA,
380
00:21:49.720 --> 00:21:51.559
and coming out of that, I had two job offers,
381
00:21:51.559 --> 00:21:53.759
one with Lloyd and two is someone with Procter and Gamble,
382
00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:55.960
and I knew I had to pick one or else
383
00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:57.680
I was going to get kicked out of the family will.
384
00:21:58.160 --> 00:22:00.440
And in this moment, I think.
385
00:22:00.359 --> 00:22:05.359
No more selling newspapers on a bicycle, you got it.
386
00:22:05.559 --> 00:22:09.480
No more yeah, more multi level marketing, vitamin things like
387
00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:13.279
no Matt, We're done with all of it. So uh So,
388
00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:16.279
in that time of making that choice, my best friend
389
00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:19.960
invited me to his apartment to watch Mondaynette football and
390
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:21.519
he was the lead singer of a band that just
391
00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:24.440
signed to Sony Records and John Paul Jones from led
392
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:28.079
Zeppelin produced their album. And they proceeded to bring out
393
00:22:28.079 --> 00:22:32.640
some Budweiser beer and order some delivery pizza and this
394
00:22:32.759 --> 00:22:35.160
other stuff that used to not be legal in America
395
00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:38.240
but now it's legal. And they got me pretty toasty,
396
00:22:38.759 --> 00:22:41.480
and they said, the reason we brought you here today is.
397
00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:44.119
Because we have a question. Will you be the manager
398
00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:46.319
of our band? Oh?
399
00:22:46.359 --> 00:22:48.680
It was like the greatest question I ever heard in
400
00:22:48.680 --> 00:22:51.519
my life, Like, this is the thing I've been looking
401
00:22:51.559 --> 00:22:55.359
for for all these years. So I turned down my
402
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:57.480
two job offers coming out of business school.
403
00:22:58.799 --> 00:22:59.480
Band manager.
404
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:03.440
Wow. Oh yeah, I mean talk about taking a risk
405
00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:08.240
and yeah, but yet what a fun what a fun
406
00:23:08.279 --> 00:23:08.720
thing to do?
407
00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:09.079
Wow?
408
00:23:09.319 --> 00:23:09.720
All right?
409
00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:13.440
Yeah, So we signed a Domino's Pizza napkin that says
410
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:16.039
Matt Emerson is now the official manager of Elephant Ride.
411
00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:18.400
And little did I know in that moment it had
412
00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:21.319
become a ten year career for me in the music industries.
413
00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:25.400
Started artist management, and then I heard about a gentleman
414
00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:30.039
named Robert Kardashian. And the Kardashian name is pretty famous
415
00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:35.839
globally now. But Robert the father had a music marketing company,
416
00:23:36.400 --> 00:23:38.920
and Kim and Chloe and the girls all worked for him,
417
00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:41.559
and he ended up bringing me on as his senior
418
00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:45.759
vice president of his music marketing company. So then my
419
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:48.640
clients became some of the biggest bands in the world.
420
00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:51.359
You know, the Cold Plays, the U Two's, the Avril
421
00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:54.119
levine Is, the Ushers, the Tim mcgras, And so I
422
00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:56.759
found myself on a very slippery slope of the music
423
00:23:56.799 --> 00:24:01.400
industry and as they called the industry, is the only
424
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:02.200
one WHI.
425
00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:05.319
Very slow with the music industry.
426
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:11.440
I mean, in hindsight, the way I the way I
427
00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:14.599
saw success at that time in my life was to
428
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:17.400
make a lot of money. You know, house in the
429
00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:22.759
Hollywood Hills, you know, dinners, parties, after parties, after after parties.
430
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:26.720
It was you know, VIP red carpets, Grammys. You know,
431
00:24:26.759 --> 00:24:28.880
it was a lot of kind of fame and fortune.
432
00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:32.039
Was kind of the you know, the thing everyone wanted,
433
00:24:32.200 --> 00:24:35.359
if you will, you know, in the in the entertainment
434
00:24:35.359 --> 00:24:37.759
in Hollywood. I was living like this Hollywood dream, if
435
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:41.119
you will, And for the most part, I thought it
436
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:44.039
was fantastic, because if that's how we define success at
437
00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:45.480
the time, and I'm not proud to say this, but
438
00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:49.720
I was successful and I was achieving those dreams until
439
00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:51.400
a Monday morning, hence.
440
00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:52.160
Every Monday matters.
441
00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:55.440
A Monday morning, I woke up to go to work
442
00:24:55.799 --> 00:24:57.880
and I was tying my shoes and in that moment,
443
00:24:58.119 --> 00:24:59.640
I thought I was having a heart attack. I was
444
00:24:59.640 --> 00:25:02.319
thirty one, And we got to the hospital and did
445
00:25:02.359 --> 00:25:04.519
test on my heart and they realized I was having
446
00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:07.400
a very severe panic attack or anxiety attack, but not
447
00:25:07.599 --> 00:25:10.440
a heart attack, and the doctor told me to go
448
00:25:10.480 --> 00:25:11.839
home and rest and I should feel better in a
449
00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:13.759
couple of days. And that's not what happened for me.
450
00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:17.559
My panic attack turned into chronic anxiety disorder in clinical depression.
451
00:25:17.960 --> 00:25:21.359
So this dream life I thought I had built, all
452
00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:26.039
the success that I thought I had achieved, turned out
453
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:27.720
to just turn.
454
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:29.279
Me towards rock bottom.
455
00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:32.960
And I realized that everything I thought mattered actually didn't.
456
00:25:34.119 --> 00:25:37.400
And so I had to completely start from zero again
457
00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:40.799
to say, who am I? What is this life all about?
458
00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:44.519
What is my purpose? What's my mission? What really matters anymore?
459
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:48.039
Do I matter anymore? And there were you know, honestly,
460
00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:50.000
there were many days where I thought about taking my
461
00:25:50.039 --> 00:25:54.920
own life because this anxiety and depression just completely crippled me.
462
00:25:55.079 --> 00:25:57.759
I couldn't I couldn't do anything anymore. I couldn't leave
463
00:25:57.759 --> 00:26:01.599
my bedroom. And you know, here I as like, you know,
464
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:04.200
this executive in the music industry that was traveling all
465
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:07.279
over New York and Nashville, Austin doing all this stuff,
466
00:26:07.319 --> 00:26:09.039
and all of a sudden, my world just went sure
467
00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:13.400
and just became tiny. So I had to go through
468
00:26:13.400 --> 00:26:16.839
this journey of finding myself again, and of course you know,
469
00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:19.440
although I joke, my family loves me and they loved
470
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:21.519
on me really hard, you know, during those tough times.
471
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:24.920
And I also met an incredible therapist I call her
472
00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:26.039
my expensive friend.
473
00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:27.559
Is just a thing for me.
474
00:26:28.599 --> 00:26:30.680
And we went to work, you know, we had to
475
00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:32.720
go to work, and so it's a lot of work,
476
00:26:33.079 --> 00:26:35.440
Like it's a lot of work taking this.
477
00:26:35.519 --> 00:26:40.960
Step towards saying, Okay, I've got something that medicine is
478
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:44.119
not going to cure that I'm going to have to
479
00:26:44.279 --> 00:26:48.920
invest a lot of time and face some really difficult
480
00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:54.960
conversations with myself scheduling that first appointment with a therapist.
481
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:58.720
And when you start therapy, it feels, I mean, at
482
00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:01.400
least this has been my experience, it's worse before it
483
00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:06.119
gets better. Yeah, you know, like because you're digging into
484
00:27:06.200 --> 00:27:09.559
some really deep stuff and you're going back into a
485
00:27:09.559 --> 00:27:13.759
lot of pain, and it takes a lot of courage
486
00:27:14.039 --> 00:27:17.480
to take those steps to do it.
487
00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:20.279
It does. It takes a ton of courage. And fortunately
488
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:22.000
for me, because I don't know if I would have
489
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:25.279
had the courage. Fortunately for me, like I was not
490
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:28.359
well and so in a lot of ways, I just
491
00:27:28.400 --> 00:27:32.519
had to surrender. I was like you know, I made choices.
492
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:35.279
You know, you have to own it first, right, I
493
00:27:35.279 --> 00:27:38.799
mean I was making choices over time a period of
494
00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:40.680
time that got me to the point where I was
495
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:44.000
when I hit rock bottom. And I think that's a
496
00:27:44.119 --> 00:27:47.200
huge part of this, Like you just have to own it. Yeah,
497
00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:50.640
And I realized that I needed help, you know, and
498
00:27:50.680 --> 00:27:53.480
for most of our lives, at least in America, you know,
499
00:27:53.559 --> 00:27:56.359
you have you have teachers your whole life who are
500
00:27:56.440 --> 00:27:59.119
kind of coaching you through life. And you have parents
501
00:27:59.160 --> 00:28:01.480
or you have guardians who are looking over you.
502
00:28:01.480 --> 00:28:01.680
You know.
503
00:28:01.720 --> 00:28:04.039
I played a sport, so I had coaches who invested
504
00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:06.920
in me. But once you kind of get after university,
505
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:09.279
you get out there into the working world, sure you
506
00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:12.960
might have a boss or something. But in my case,
507
00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:17.039
I felt like I needed another coach. I said, Okay,
508
00:28:17.240 --> 00:28:19.599
I got me here, I need someone. I need help
509
00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:20.440
getting out of here.
510
00:28:20.920 --> 00:28:23.240
Yeah. Yeah, that's a great thing to look at it
511
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:26.400
as well. It's well, it's also kind of a reframe, right.
512
00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:31.440
So I talk a lot about mental health and mental
513
00:28:31.480 --> 00:28:35.920
health matters, right like on this show, because there's a
514
00:28:35.960 --> 00:28:40.559
lot of stigma, especially in South Asian culture, around seeking
515
00:28:40.599 --> 00:28:45.119
mental health support. You know, like if okay, Yeah, Like
516
00:28:46.440 --> 00:28:50.480
most people will go and you know, they'll deal with
517
00:28:50.519 --> 00:28:53.559
the pain physical pain that they have, but not really
518
00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:56.640
dig into like what mental emotional pain is causing that
519
00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:00.599
physical pain. There's there's a complete disconnect. There's a feeling
520
00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:05.359
of weakness if we seek you know, support from a therapist,
521
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:08.960
a psychologists, a psychiatrist, instead of looking at it as
522
00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:11.480
a sign of strength. And it's like you go to
523
00:29:11.519 --> 00:29:15.759
your primary care doctor, you go to your you know, therapist. Yeah,
524
00:29:15.880 --> 00:29:20.000
it's not really openly talked about and is accepted in
525
00:29:20.039 --> 00:29:22.359
our culture traditionally speaking.
526
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.279
Now, is that that the way people feel like if
527
00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:28.359
someone is struggling in your culture, are they just feeling
528
00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:30.799
like it's a sign of weakness or is that kind
529
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:32.880
of something that is just out there in the ether
530
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:35.240
that kind of the culture kind of does make it
531
00:29:35.279 --> 00:29:36.480
seem like it is a weakness.
532
00:29:36.920 --> 00:29:39.000
Yeah, I think it's I think it's out in the ether.
533
00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:43.720
And I think it's also that there's feelings of judgment
534
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:47.200
or like you know, like comments and like and so
535
00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:51.119
when when people feel judged, they cocoon more. They look
536
00:29:51.160 --> 00:29:54.359
at themselves as like, oh, it must be something me,
537
00:29:55.799 --> 00:29:58.160
Why am I like others why am I not feeling
538
00:29:58.200 --> 00:30:02.079
this way like others? Or I must be an extreme case, right,
539
00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:05.759
Like there's so many levels of valuation of depression and anxiety,
540
00:30:06.519 --> 00:30:09.279
and so I must be an extreme case. Or someone
541
00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:12.599
is labeled as like, oh, that person's like depressed, and
542
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:15.599
so I'm not gonna engage with them as much. Like
543
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:20.240
so there's yeah, there's there's a lot of stigma behind it.
544
00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:24.839
There's a lot of shunning. I think, you know, from
545
00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:31.160
a communal perspect it's really is it? Uh? Yeah?
546
00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:35.160
Is it so in in India which is massive, right?
547
00:30:35.319 --> 00:30:38.079
And you have you have the halves, you have the
548
00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:40.799
have nots, you have every you know, everything in between.
549
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:41.680
Uh.
550
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:44.839
A lot of people ask me this is gonna be
551
00:30:44.839 --> 00:30:47.279
a question for you regarding India, because I'm just curious.
552
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:49.640
A lot of people say, hey, Matt, you know, like
553
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.440
see that kid over there, or see that person over there.
554
00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:55.599
You know, they they're unhoused or they live in a
555
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:57.680
they don't have any resources, they don't have any money,
556
00:30:57.720 --> 00:31:00.599
so of course they don't feel like they or of
557
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:05.160
course they struggle with anxiety or depression because they they're
558
00:31:05.200 --> 00:31:10.960
have not And for me, it's interesting because I see
559
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:13.839
it totally different than that. I don't see I don't
560
00:31:13.880 --> 00:31:17.319
see these things being attached to a demographic because that
561
00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:20.839
can also show you super high performing.
562
00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:24.240
Yes, I was super high. I was super high performing.
563
00:31:24.599 --> 00:31:27.759
Look you on the outfit pay looking in No one
564
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:30.599
would imagine, like look at the you said you lived
565
00:31:31.160 --> 00:31:34.160
fame and fortune and you were on the go, and
566
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:37.079
you know, a life of quote unquote success and some
567
00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:42.359
in many books actually and and look at what you
568
00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:44.359
were facing really internally, I agree with you.
569
00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:46.000
I don't so some of some.
570
00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:49.759
Of my some of my Indian friends, I know that
571
00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:54.160
they also face a family pressure to perform. You know,
572
00:31:54.200 --> 00:31:56.279
a lot of doctors have a lot of doctor friends
573
00:31:56.279 --> 00:32:00.440
who are Indian, right, And I could imagine if, for
574
00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:02.680
what if one of those kids said, you know what,
575
00:32:02.759 --> 00:32:05.279
mom and dad, I'm not going to be a doctor. Yeah,
576
00:32:05.599 --> 00:32:08.000
like I want to I want to be an artist, yes,
577
00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:12.119
or you know, I would imagine there are some mental
578
00:32:13.400 --> 00:32:16.440
and emotional process things that have to be process there
579
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:19.759
that would be incredibly hard conversations.
580
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:23.880
That have so much giving it away for free or
581
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:29.119
five they were selling five on my Mind for us
582
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.119
Well an angel.
583
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:38.079
You're listening to ruck Us Avenue Radio Avenue available now
584
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:41.519
on the free iHeart Radio.
585
00:32:44.119 --> 00:32:45.559
Where is he?
586
00:32:46.119 --> 00:32:47.720
Yes, sir, yes, sir, that life's a.
587
00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:49.480
Bitch, but she's like having a her.
588
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:51.519
Life, s amit.
589
00:32:54.400 --> 00:32:56.640
Yeah, agreed, You've hit the nail on the head. I mean,
590
00:32:56.680 --> 00:33:00.720
We've had many conversations on our show with people say, hey,
591
00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:03.880
I didn't fit the typical stereotype of being a doctor,
592
00:33:03.880 --> 00:33:07.039
engineer or a lawyer that my parents would want to be,
593
00:33:08.079 --> 00:33:11.880
and instead I went, you know, on this path, and
594
00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:16.559
it took them a long time to sometimes even it's hard, yeah,
595
00:33:16.680 --> 00:33:21.880
get that validation and appreciation or acknowledgment from their families, like, oh,
596
00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:24.440
you're you're doing still a great service, You're doing a
597
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:24.920
great thing.
598
00:33:26.119 --> 00:33:33.559
And so ultimately, so ultimately to that note, every Monday matters.
599
00:33:33.559 --> 00:33:37.160
As I went through this healing journey, I started to
600
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:40.880
realize that the thing I wanted more than anything was
601
00:33:41.079 --> 00:33:46.640
just to feel like my life mattered. And then I
602
00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:48.519
realized that, you know, I don't think I'm the only
603
00:33:48.599 --> 00:33:51.079
person in the world that wants to feel like their
604
00:33:51.079 --> 00:33:54.200
life matters. That we all want to feel seen, we
605
00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:56.519
all want to feel heard, we all want to feel loved.
606
00:33:57.160 --> 00:33:57.759
You know that we have.
607
00:33:57.799 --> 00:34:00.440
Meaning and purposes and these are things that ever human
608
00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:03.720
being I've ever met once, But it doesn't necessarily mean
609
00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:06.319
that we feel it like we do, and it also
610
00:34:06.359 --> 00:34:08.400
doesn't mean that we realize that we can help other
611
00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:10.840
people have that same very thing and play an active
612
00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:14.119
role in that. So that's where Every Monday Matters came from.
613
00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:15.960
And it was the first book I wrote, was in
614
00:34:15.960 --> 00:34:19.559
two thousand and seven, and it was just helping people
615
00:34:20.280 --> 00:34:25.280
through a process of re discovering why they mattered and
616
00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:28.000
why they mattered to themselves, but also why they matter
617
00:34:28.079 --> 00:34:30.599
to other people and also to the world. So in
618
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:34.960
a lot of ways, I saw this self transformation and
619
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:39.639
social transformation like as a hand in hand. So I
620
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:42.199
mean I learned part of the big step of my therapy.
621
00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:44.960
My therapist said to me, Matt, I want you to
622
00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:46.920
understand what it means to live a life that's not
623
00:34:46.960 --> 00:34:51.400
about you. And so I would every Saturday, I had
624
00:34:51.400 --> 00:34:54.639
to go do something that wasn't about me, so pick
625
00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:58.079
up litter, feed homeless people, paint over graffiti, read the
626
00:34:58.079 --> 00:35:01.440
elderly to senior center. And as much as I was
627
00:35:01.519 --> 00:35:05.719
hurting inside and trying to understand myself, it was those
628
00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:08.679
week that weekly dose of doing something that wasn't about me,
629
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:13.199
that actually was what helped me find me again. Yeah,
630
00:35:13.559 --> 00:35:16.880
and it was fascinating. So my first book, Every Monday Matters,
631
00:35:17.119 --> 00:35:20.119
gave the reader something to do every Monday of the
632
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:23.840
year that wasn't about them, but I knew would help
633
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:25.000
them find themselves again.
634
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:28.760
Wow. I just want to like pause you there to
635
00:35:29.599 --> 00:35:31.960
reflect on what you just said, because I think it's
636
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:36.599
such a powerful tool that people can use, which is
637
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:40.519
thinking about how are they incorporating something that's not about
638
00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:46.159
them and what impact that can create for especially when
639
00:35:46.199 --> 00:35:50.360
they're not when they're seeing fog right, like when there's
640
00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:53.159
not clarity. Yeah, and it could be at any at
641
00:35:53.159 --> 00:35:57.719
any level. I mean, I coach very high achieving professionals
642
00:35:58.360 --> 00:36:01.800
and I work on some of these challenges all the
643
00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:05.159
time with them. They're like, it looks like on the outside,
644
00:36:05.239 --> 00:36:07.519
I have it all together. Now. I'm not a therapist,
645
00:36:07.599 --> 00:36:13.559
so I'm not working. Sure, I'm working with individuals that
646
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:16.599
may be in therapy, but we're not talking specifically about
647
00:36:16.639 --> 00:36:19.239
their anxiety and depression. We're talking about how they're showing
648
00:36:19.320 --> 00:36:24.519
up in their professional career right and often especially when
649
00:36:24.519 --> 00:36:28.639
they're contemplating leaving a job or transitioning out of a role.
650
00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:31.920
They're like, I don't know why I can't figure this out.
651
00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:34.559
And a lot of that is around, you know, the
652
00:36:34.599 --> 00:36:36.719
work that we have to do, around their own identity
653
00:36:36.719 --> 00:36:40.119
and understanding like who they are, what they want to achieve,
654
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:44.239
and what matters you know, what really matters to them,
655
00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:47.760
including first and foremost, you know, who they are, and
656
00:36:47.800 --> 00:36:53.239
not doing it for others, like doing it first for themselves,
657
00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:55.199
but also like and what I mean by not doing
658
00:36:55.239 --> 00:36:57.159
it for others is like I'm thinking about a client
659
00:36:57.239 --> 00:36:59.840
right now who is like, well if I quit, if
660
00:36:59.880 --> 00:37:02.119
I quit my job, what are people going to you know,
661
00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:04.079
what's this person going to say? And this we're going
662
00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:05.760
to say, and how's it going to affect my brand?
663
00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:10.000
And in this like small sector and the small work
664
00:37:10.039 --> 00:37:13.480
that I do. And it's like, well, look matter the
665
00:37:13.519 --> 00:37:16.119
first and foremost to you. But you know, we were
666
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:22.000
talking about how she now is like involved even more.
667
00:37:22.039 --> 00:37:25.079
She's spending a little more time in a research board
668
00:37:25.280 --> 00:37:28.480
and doing all this nonprofit work that she wouldn't have
669
00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:33.000
done if she wasn't contemplating leaving a position and really
670
00:37:33.159 --> 00:37:35.480
taking a strong look at where she wants to see
671
00:37:35.480 --> 00:37:37.719
her life go and so when you just said that,
672
00:37:37.760 --> 00:37:40.199
I was like circling and connecting it back. I'm like, yeah,
673
00:37:40.239 --> 00:37:42.519
this is such a powerful tool that a lot of
674
00:37:42.599 --> 00:37:45.199
us miss because we don't have time for it, or
675
00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:48.119
we think, like so many other things are employed. It's
676
00:37:48.199 --> 00:37:52.920
like giving to to someone without expectation of return whatever
677
00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:53.639
that looks like.
678
00:37:56.159 --> 00:37:57.519
Yeah, you know, it's hard here.
679
00:37:57.559 --> 00:38:00.000
You know, we live in a capitalist country right in America,
680
00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:03.480
and so so much of our identity gets tied up
681
00:38:03.519 --> 00:38:08.400
into how much do I produce? And the more I produce,
682
00:38:09.159 --> 00:38:13.880
the more of value I am, And so I work harder,
683
00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:17.000
I work longer hours. And because I want to be
684
00:38:17.079 --> 00:38:19.480
the one that achieves the most, I want to get
685
00:38:19.519 --> 00:38:21.400
to be the one that gets the promotion. I want
686
00:38:21.400 --> 00:38:24.119
to be the one that has the bigger, faster, stronger,
687
00:38:24.599 --> 00:38:28.559
you know, the American dream quote unquote. But in some ways,
688
00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:31.880
because we spend the majority of our waking hours at work,
689
00:38:32.880 --> 00:38:36.920
that that truly becomes our identity and we forget about
690
00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:40.760
all the other slices of the pie of life. You know,
691
00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:43.960
giving back has got to be a huge part of
692
00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:50.079
our existences as humans. You know, we focus on ourselves plenty,
693
00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:53.000
trust me, Like the self help section is the biggest
694
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:56.159
section of the bookstore, you know, and we're all looking
695
00:38:56.199 --> 00:39:00.320
for answers for everything. The truth is a lot of answers.
696
00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:02.280
We're going to find, some we're not going to find.
697
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:05.960
But but you can't live your life thinking I have
698
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:07.960
to learn how to love myself before I can love
699
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:12.079
other people, because learning to love yourself is a lifelong journey.
700
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:15.480
And also through loving other people and them loving you,
701
00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:17.159
you also learn a lot about yourself too.
702
00:39:17.840 --> 00:39:21.880
And it's a back and forth like totally yeah, yeah.
703
00:39:21.559 --> 00:39:23.960
Yeah, we're social creatures. We learn that we grow with
704
00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:26.880
each other. In part and parts of Africa, in some
705
00:39:26.920 --> 00:39:29.599
countries they call it ubuntu, like I am because of you,
706
00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:31.480
you are because of me, We are because of we.
707
00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:37.920
It's this, it's this self focused, sometimes narcissistic quest for
708
00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:41.880
meaning in a vacuum that I think is part of
709
00:39:41.880 --> 00:39:44.679
what helps us not find ourselves. It's also part of
710
00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:47.199
us makes us more judgmental. It's part of what disconnects
711
00:39:47.239 --> 00:39:49.960
us from other people that we have to look up.
712
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:53.360
And so I learned it incredible value and also living
713
00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:57.559
life that wasn't about me, because it also showed me
714
00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:01.159
also some of my gifts I even realized I had
715
00:40:02.280 --> 00:40:04.719
because I only want I was only using gifts that
716
00:40:04.760 --> 00:40:07.559
helped me achieve, But I also had these other gifts
717
00:40:07.599 --> 00:40:10.199
I didn't realize I had. Like I'm an incredible listener,
718
00:40:11.239 --> 00:40:13.840
and so to go and sit with somebody who is
719
00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:17.199
maybe struggling and just listen, Yeah.
720
00:40:16.639 --> 00:40:17.440
Like it doesn't.
721
00:40:17.639 --> 00:40:21.559
It doesn't produce anything except for helping another human feel
722
00:40:21.639 --> 00:40:24.440
like they're they that came matter.
723
00:40:24.679 --> 00:40:26.280
Yeah, that's right.
724
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:29.000
You know. It didn't make me get my expense report
725
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:31.360
in quicker. If anything, it might have delayed a little bit.
726
00:40:31.480 --> 00:40:33.760
But that part of me who's a big part of
727
00:40:33.800 --> 00:40:38.119
my love language as a person, it was completely dormant
728
00:40:38.280 --> 00:40:41.199
because I pushed anything aside that didn't help me be
729
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:46.639
efficient and achieve. And so it's I re access those
730
00:40:46.679 --> 00:40:49.000
parts to me. And as my therapist eventually said to me,
731
00:40:49.719 --> 00:40:51.639
not in the beginning. She said, you know, Matt, when
732
00:40:51.639 --> 00:40:53.920
you came in here, you know you were an empty
733
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:54.719
shell of a person.
734
00:40:55.679 --> 00:40:58.559
Wow, And it's hard to hear those words. Yeah, but
735
00:40:58.639 --> 00:40:59.039
I was.
736
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:02.159
You know, I just bought into the hype. And that's
737
00:41:02.159 --> 00:41:04.440
what I mean by the slippery slope. I got on
738
00:41:04.519 --> 00:41:08.079
this thing. I lost my footing completely and I don't
739
00:41:08.119 --> 00:41:08.679
blame it.
740
00:41:08.840 --> 00:41:09.559
I blame you know, I.
741
00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:11.280
Look at me for all that stuff, as I said.
742
00:41:11.320 --> 00:41:14.599
But so it's a long way of answering your question
743
00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:18.199
of Every Monday Matters. Became a book in two thousand
744
00:41:18.199 --> 00:41:21.559
and six, and then today fast forward. It's been a
745
00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:25.400
nonprofit organization for nineteen years, almost twenty years, coming up
746
00:41:25.440 --> 00:41:30.159
here in a few months. And we create programming in schools,
747
00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:34.119
in companies, in senior living communities to help people reconnect
748
00:41:34.119 --> 00:41:36.519
to how much they matter to themselves and to each
749
00:41:36.519 --> 00:41:40.480
other and to this greater slice of humanity or the world.
750
00:41:41.239 --> 00:41:46.519
And we just operationalize mattering into people's lives through programs
751
00:41:46.559 --> 00:41:49.320
that we put into ecosystems where they work and play
752
00:41:49.440 --> 00:41:52.039
and whatever it is they do. And then I write
753
00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:54.400
books and now my fifbook just came out, and I
754
00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:57.519
do a lot of keynote speaking. So that is the work,
755
00:41:57.559 --> 00:42:00.000
that is the mission. It's all aligned under the same
756
00:42:00.079 --> 00:42:02.519
roof of we're on a mission to create a world
757
00:42:02.559 --> 00:42:05.199
where every single person embraces how much and why they matter.
758
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:10.119
It's beautiful. What was the inspiration for this newer book,
759
00:42:10.599 --> 00:42:12.280
your fifth book? What's the title?
760
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:16.920
The title is Make It Matter? And the subtitle is
761
00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:20.800
Unlocking human Potential through the Mattering Mindset. So we have
762
00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:23.960
a framework that's called the Mattering mindset. And so we've
763
00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:28.000
created over five hundred hours of free education resources for
764
00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:31.679
K through twelve educators to have. We've created resources that
765
00:42:32.039 --> 00:42:37.239
go into companies, weekly communication resources, et cetera, experiences, trainings,
766
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:41.000
professional development, and then also in ure living communities. It's
767
00:42:41.039 --> 00:42:43.880
all based on this idea called the mattering mindset. And
768
00:42:43.920 --> 00:42:46.760
that belief is that in life and at work, it
769
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:50.320
all starts with mattering. That we're all on the search
770
00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:52.400
to know, like why our lives matter, understand why our
771
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:55.679
lives matter. From that, there's three ideas. One is I matter,
772
00:42:55.880 --> 00:42:59.360
sod understanding myself, you know, the good, the bad, the.
773
00:42:59.360 --> 00:43:00.199
Ugly of all it.
774
00:43:00.280 --> 00:43:03.239
Like we're not perfect, yeah, you know, but at the
775
00:43:03.360 --> 00:43:05.400
end of the day, of the eight billion people in
776
00:43:05.480 --> 00:43:07.639
the world, there's only one ashi.
777
00:43:07.880 --> 00:43:10.760
Yeah I'm important and I matter.
778
00:43:11.119 --> 00:43:13.360
Yeah, that's it. That's it.
779
00:43:13.559 --> 00:43:15.039
And if you weren't in the world, the world would
780
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:17.960
never be the same. Like that's powerful thing to really realize.
781
00:43:17.960 --> 00:43:20.480
And then in a you matter sort of way, it's
782
00:43:20.559 --> 00:43:23.400
understanding that our actions, our thoughts, are words impact those
783
00:43:23.480 --> 00:43:26.639
around us, and so we get to choose the impact
784
00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:29.760
we want to have every single day and every single moment.
785
00:43:30.679 --> 00:43:33.000
And so I do funny things like at least some
786
00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:33.920
people think it's funny.
787
00:43:33.920 --> 00:43:34.239
I don't.
788
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:36.800
But like I say hi to people on elevators, yeah,
789
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:38.719
and people are like, why are you talking on elevator?
790
00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:40.480
I'm like, well, why are you staring at the numbers
791
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:42.679
above the door, Like what is that doing? And you
792
00:43:42.679 --> 00:43:45.320
know on airplanes, you know, I fly a lot for
793
00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:48.199
my work, and someone's always touching some strangers rubbing my
794
00:43:48.239 --> 00:43:51.079
elbow with their elbow, Like, can we least get each
795
00:43:51.119 --> 00:43:51.719
other's names?
796
00:43:51.719 --> 00:43:54.199
Like that'd be cool? Like why we ignoring each other?
797
00:43:56.719 --> 00:43:58.639
When I go to a grocery store and I see
798
00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:01.320
someone a little frazzle, you know, I'll just say, hey,
799
00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:05.639
you're looking really up in a color sweater, and it's
800
00:44:05.760 --> 00:44:08.480
like whoa. It's like you're getting a compliment from a
801
00:44:08.519 --> 00:44:11.920
complete stranger. But you can see how it just lightens
802
00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:14.480
up their day a little bit more. How hard is
803
00:44:14.480 --> 00:44:15.039
it to say that?
804
00:44:16.800 --> 00:44:19.440
And part of it, to your example, though, part of
805
00:44:19.480 --> 00:44:22.480
it to show how off we've become, is that most
806
00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:27.719
people are uncomfortable receiving compliments. Yes, like someone says, you know,
807
00:44:27.760 --> 00:44:29.960
I like your jacket. You're like, I like your jacket too,
808
00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:32.599
but they're not wearing a jacket, right. But we have
809
00:44:32.639 --> 00:44:35.559
to deflect because we've gotten this place where we can't
810
00:44:35.559 --> 00:44:38.960
even receive someone's niceties and just say thank you. That
811
00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:41.599
really means a lot to me. It's part of the
812
00:44:41.679 --> 00:44:44.159
cracks I started seeing in humanity. And then there's the
813
00:44:44.199 --> 00:44:47.719
we matter part, which that we're in this together. Let's
814
00:44:47.719 --> 00:44:49.840
do the best job we can together. We're not the same,
815
00:44:49.880 --> 00:44:52.800
we're different, and that's okay, but let's all at least
816
00:44:52.800 --> 00:44:56.119
bring civility and respect and see what we can build
817
00:44:56.360 --> 00:44:58.719
to make this world a better place. And so those
818
00:44:58.760 --> 00:45:01.920
three perspectives kind of anchor or the framework, and then
819
00:45:01.920 --> 00:45:04.599
it goes into values and then perception change and human
820
00:45:04.599 --> 00:45:09.280
behavior change. But ultimately it's a mechanism for transformation, either
821
00:45:09.320 --> 00:45:13.760
on an individual or an organizational level, and this book
822
00:45:14.199 --> 00:45:19.280
breaks that thing down through inspiritual stories, through ideas, through
823
00:45:19.320 --> 00:45:22.679
thought leadership of that this book is the journey of
824
00:45:22.719 --> 00:45:28.440
that framework, which in a nutshell I would say, is this, Like,
825
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:32.840
you have one life to live, like, let's make it matter,
826
00:45:33.239 --> 00:45:35.039
And this book will show you how to do that.
827
00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:39.639
Oh my gosh, matt that's beautiful. I can't believe our
828
00:45:40.599 --> 00:45:43.920
time is up, unfortunately, but that was such a great
829
00:45:44.159 --> 00:45:47.480
close to ours just getting started.
830
00:45:47.480 --> 00:45:48.880
Ash. Yeah, no, no, we're here for.
831
00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:53.400
Yeah, we're bringing you back for a part two. We
832
00:45:53.599 --> 00:45:59.079
are for sure for sure. No, I'm not kidding though,
833
00:45:59.159 --> 00:46:00.960
I want I want you to come back on the
834
00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:04.800
show for real. I feel like we barely touched the
835
00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:07.960
surface of so many things we could have. We could
836
00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:12.639
have explored more. But excited for you, excited for the
837
00:46:12.719 --> 00:46:15.880
new book and how much it's going to impact it's
838
00:46:15.920 --> 00:46:19.519
going to make in so many different people's lives. If
839
00:46:19.800 --> 00:46:22.199
more people want to hear about you the book, how
840
00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:24.159
can they best reach out?
841
00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:28.920
Yeah, I mean my website is Matthewemersion dot com and
842
00:46:28.960 --> 00:46:31.840
it's m A T T h E W E M
843
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:34.519
E r z I A n dot com. The nonprofits
844
00:46:34.519 --> 00:46:38.079
every Monday Matters dot org. And you know, the new
845
00:46:38.119 --> 00:46:40.199
book is on Amazon if you want to pick up
846
00:46:40.199 --> 00:46:42.480
a copy of it, and it's nice if they do
847
00:46:42.639 --> 00:46:44.280
to write a review once they read it, if they
848
00:46:44.360 --> 00:46:47.239
like it. I hope they like it. But I mean
849
00:46:47.239 --> 00:46:49.559
you need to find on LinkedIn at Matthew Emersion. I'm
850
00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:52.079
kind of everywhere there and you'll get me.
851
00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:53.039
I don't. I don't.
852
00:46:53.079 --> 00:46:55.480
I don't have an assistant or anything like that, because
853
00:46:55.559 --> 00:46:58.119
it's important that if you reach out to me, that
854
00:46:58.719 --> 00:46:59.880
I'm going to reach out to you, and you're not
855
00:47:00.039 --> 00:47:02.800
that you matter to me. So I welcome anyone who
856
00:47:02.800 --> 00:47:03.960
wants to reach out and connect.
857
00:47:04.639 --> 00:47:08.800
Thank you, Thanks Matt for coming on our show. Leaders
858
00:47:08.840 --> 00:47:12.719
creating Ruckus join us every Sunday at four pm Pacific
859
00:47:12.760 --> 00:47:17.800
Standard time as we have great great leaders like Matt
860
00:47:17.880 --> 00:47:22.639
Immersion here and I'm Ashi Aurora. Thank you to rekasav
861
00:47:22.719 --> 00:47:26.039
Me Radio and iHeartRadio for hosting our platform. Have a
862
00:47:26.079 --> 00:47:28.679
great rest of your day and remember you matter.
863
00:47:29.119 --> 00:47:52.920
By the world's most listen to South Asian radio and
864
00:47:53.079 --> 00:47:54.800
podcast network