WEBVTT
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I don't drink, don't smoke. What do you do? Don't drink,
2
00:00:05.080 --> 00:00:07.559
don't smoke? What do you do? I must say you So.
3
00:00:08.279 --> 00:00:12.000
In the eighties there was a song by Adam Ant
4
00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:15.359
called Goodie two Shoes, and when I was younger, I
5
00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:18.039
just thought it was funny. But the older I get,
6
00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:22.239
the more I think there was a profound hidden truth
7
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:26.760
in that question what do you do? Because every one
8
00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:31.960
of us has something, something that quietly weakens us. And
9
00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:36.240
here on this podcast I called that our kryptonite, and
10
00:00:36.439 --> 00:00:40.679
last episode I shared mine. For years, pornography was my kryptonite.
11
00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:44.320
But today isn't about mine. Today I want to talk
12
00:00:44.359 --> 00:00:48.439
about yours. For years, I searched for answers. I went
13
00:00:48.479 --> 00:00:52.439
to recovery meeting after recovery meeting, after recovery meeting, I
14
00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:55.119
saw a therapist. After a therapist, I read books. I
15
00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:59.039
read everything I could think of. I truly wanted to change,
16
00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:03.399
but there was something I couldn't stop thinking about. On
17
00:01:03.399 --> 00:01:07.159
one hand, I kept hearing I am powerless. On the
18
00:01:07.159 --> 00:01:11.120
other hand, I spent years studying personal development. Every mentor
19
00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:14.400
I admired taught that our identity shapes our future. Our
20
00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:20.040
beliefs influence our behavior. The words we continually speak begin
21
00:01:20.200 --> 00:01:23.599
to shape the person we become. So I found myself
22
00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:28.640
wrestling with one question. If identity really matters, why was
23
00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:35.000
I continually reinforcing that I am powerless? That was my identity.
24
00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:39.799
I'm powerless over this. Now, let me be clear, I'm
25
00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:44.079
not criticizing recovery programs. They've helped millions of people. But
26
00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:47.200
I'm saying there is another way. And I'm simply telling
27
00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:51.879
you about the tension that I couldn't personally resolve. And
28
00:01:52.159 --> 00:01:59.920
one day I was creating a log in for an app,
29
00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:05.840
my username and my just on a whim, I thought,
30
00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:11.639
you know, I've been calling myself powerless for decades over
31
00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:17.159
this and it's not worked. And so just on a whim,
32
00:02:17.199 --> 00:02:20.879
I thought, I want to make my log in my
33
00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:28.800
user name powerful Eric. And in that moment, pitiful power
34
00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:34.639
loos Eric died and powerful Eric was born. And I
35
00:02:34.680 --> 00:02:38.400
don't call myself powerful Eric out of ego. It's out
36
00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:43.199
of having called myself a piece of pooh for decades.
37
00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:48.879
And I don't know you personally, my friend, but it
38
00:02:48.919 --> 00:02:56.319
was extremely challenging for me. And if I can do it,
39
00:02:56.439 --> 00:03:04.199
you can do it. What I was hoping to happen
40
00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:10.120
is to look at myself differently, and that's what that's
41
00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:15.240
what happened. It was very awkwarded for first looking myself
42
00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:20.639
in the mirror and looking myself in the eye and
43
00:03:21.159 --> 00:03:24.800
you know, faking it till I make it. But that's
44
00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:30.759
when I realized something inside me had changed and why
45
00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:33.400
the moment mattered because there was a time when I
46
00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:36.120
actually did look in myself in the mirror and say,
47
00:03:37.039 --> 00:03:42.319
you know what, I like myself, and that experience changed
48
00:03:42.360 --> 00:03:47.360
the way I looked at change. I realized something Identity
49
00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:54.080
doesn't magically change behavior overnight. And that's a big one
50
00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:58.680
because you know, once I started calling myself powerful Eric,
51
00:04:01.039 --> 00:04:06.719
it definitely helped. But it was a long process. You know,
52
00:04:06.759 --> 00:04:09.879
it's two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward,
53
00:04:09.960 --> 00:04:17.319
one step back. But identity gives behavior a direction. We
54
00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:22.759
naturally begin moving towards the person we continually believe we're becoming.
55
00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:27.279
And that's why I don't think kryptonite is just about addiction.
56
00:04:28.680 --> 00:04:33.399
To me, kryptonite is anything that quietly weakens the person
57
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:39.720
you're capable of becoming. So how do you identify your own?
58
00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:46.439
Start by asking yourself a few honest questions, What keeps
59
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:54.920
showing up in your life? What repeatedly weakens you? What
60
00:04:55.079 --> 00:05:00.920
do you keep promising? Your promising yourself, you'll stop, but
61
00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:10.480
somehow it just keeps coming back again and again and again.
62
00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:21.120
What steals your confidence? What drains your energy? What lowers
63
00:05:21.519 --> 00:05:31.279
your vibration? What version of yourself do you become afterwards?
64
00:05:32.040 --> 00:05:38.319
That's a big one. Afterwards I would turn into a glutton.
65
00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:49.360
It was fast food, junk food time. And what do
66
00:05:49.439 --> 00:05:52.879
you justify even though deep down you know it's hurting?
67
00:05:54.360 --> 00:06:00.959
What do you hide? Those questions aren't meant to shame you. Shame,
68
00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:06.279
by the way, is the lowest on the vibratory scale
69
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:12.839
of emotions. The questions that are meant to help you
70
00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:17.879
see what may have been hiding in plain sight because
71
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:25.600
you can't change when you're unwilling to identify. Awareness isn't
72
00:06:25.639 --> 00:06:34.439
the finish line, but it's where freedom begins. And I
73
00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:42.959
will share one more of my kryptonite kryptonite kryptonites, So
74
00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:49.720
a kryptonite kryptonit kryptonites. This is one that's a challenge
75
00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:55.959
for me at night my kids, after my kids go
76
00:06:56.000 --> 00:07:09.279
to bed. Ah YouTube, YouTube and junk food. The conspire
77
00:07:10.920 --> 00:07:20.720
YouTube junk Food Late Night. That's the current kryptonite that
78
00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:31.079
I am exposing. But I'm talking about exposing that is
79
00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:35.680
what one of the cures for the kryptonite. What did
80
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:39.120
Superman have to do if he got exposed to kryptonite?
81
00:07:39.639 --> 00:07:43.879
He went to the sun, to the light. You got
82
00:07:43.879 --> 00:07:47.240
to bring a kryptonite to the light. And speaking of
83
00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:49.959
bringing things to light, next time, I'll be joined by
84
00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:55.839
author and licensed family therapist Thomas Kirsteing, author of Disconnected.
85
00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:59.800
We'll explore how technology is quietly changing the way we think,
86
00:08:00.360 --> 00:08:05.040
connect and live and why understanding that matters for every
87
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:12.040
one of us. Everybody has kryptonite. The question isn't whether
88
00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:19.319
we have one, The question is what is your kryptonite?
1
00:00:01.879 --> 00:00:05.040
I don't drink, don't smoke. What do you do? Don't drink,
2
00:00:05.080 --> 00:00:07.559
don't smoke? What do you do? I must say you So.
3
00:00:08.279 --> 00:00:12.000
In the eighties there was a song by Adam Ant
4
00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:15.359
called Goodie two Shoes, and when I was younger, I
5
00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:18.039
just thought it was funny. But the older I get,
6
00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:22.239
the more I think there was a profound hidden truth
7
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:26.760
in that question what do you do? Because every one
8
00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:31.960
of us has something, something that quietly weakens us. And
9
00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:36.240
here on this podcast I called that our kryptonite, and
10
00:00:36.439 --> 00:00:40.679
last episode I shared mine. For years, pornography was my kryptonite.
11
00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:44.320
But today isn't about mine. Today I want to talk
12
00:00:44.359 --> 00:00:48.439
about yours. For years, I searched for answers. I went
13
00:00:48.479 --> 00:00:52.439
to recovery meeting after recovery meeting, after recovery meeting, I
14
00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:55.119
saw a therapist. After a therapist, I read books. I
15
00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:59.039
read everything I could think of. I truly wanted to change,
16
00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:03.399
but there was something I couldn't stop thinking about. On
17
00:01:03.399 --> 00:01:07.159
one hand, I kept hearing I am powerless. On the
18
00:01:07.159 --> 00:01:11.120
other hand, I spent years studying personal development. Every mentor
19
00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:14.400
I admired taught that our identity shapes our future. Our
20
00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:20.040
beliefs influence our behavior. The words we continually speak begin
21
00:01:20.200 --> 00:01:23.599
to shape the person we become. So I found myself
22
00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:28.640
wrestling with one question. If identity really matters, why was
23
00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:35.000
I continually reinforcing that I am powerless? That was my identity.
24
00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:39.799
I'm powerless over this. Now, let me be clear, I'm
25
00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:44.079
not criticizing recovery programs. They've helped millions of people. But
26
00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:47.200
I'm saying there is another way. And I'm simply telling
27
00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:51.879
you about the tension that I couldn't personally resolve. And
28
00:01:52.159 --> 00:01:59.920
one day I was creating a log in for an app,
29
00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:05.840
my username and my just on a whim, I thought,
30
00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:11.639
you know, I've been calling myself powerless for decades over
31
00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:17.159
this and it's not worked. And so just on a whim,
32
00:02:17.199 --> 00:02:20.879
I thought, I want to make my log in my
33
00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:28.800
user name powerful Eric. And in that moment, pitiful power
34
00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:34.639
loos Eric died and powerful Eric was born. And I
35
00:02:34.680 --> 00:02:38.400
don't call myself powerful Eric out of ego. It's out
36
00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:43.199
of having called myself a piece of pooh for decades.
37
00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:48.879
And I don't know you personally, my friend, but it
38
00:02:48.919 --> 00:02:56.319
was extremely challenging for me. And if I can do it,
39
00:02:56.439 --> 00:03:04.199
you can do it. What I was hoping to happen
40
00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:10.120
is to look at myself differently, and that's what that's
41
00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:15.240
what happened. It was very awkwarded for first looking myself
42
00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:20.639
in the mirror and looking myself in the eye and
43
00:03:21.159 --> 00:03:24.800
you know, faking it till I make it. But that's
44
00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:30.759
when I realized something inside me had changed and why
45
00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:33.400
the moment mattered because there was a time when I
46
00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:36.120
actually did look in myself in the mirror and say,
47
00:03:37.039 --> 00:03:42.319
you know what, I like myself, and that experience changed
48
00:03:42.360 --> 00:03:47.360
the way I looked at change. I realized something Identity
49
00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:54.080
doesn't magically change behavior overnight. And that's a big one
50
00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:58.680
because you know, once I started calling myself powerful Eric,
51
00:04:01.039 --> 00:04:06.719
it definitely helped. But it was a long process. You know,
52
00:04:06.759 --> 00:04:09.879
it's two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward,
53
00:04:09.960 --> 00:04:17.319
one step back. But identity gives behavior a direction. We
54
00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:22.759
naturally begin moving towards the person we continually believe we're becoming.
55
00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:27.279
And that's why I don't think kryptonite is just about addiction.
56
00:04:28.680 --> 00:04:33.399
To me, kryptonite is anything that quietly weakens the person
57
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:39.720
you're capable of becoming. So how do you identify your own?
58
00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:46.439
Start by asking yourself a few honest questions, What keeps
59
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:54.920
showing up in your life? What repeatedly weakens you? What
60
00:04:55.079 --> 00:05:00.920
do you keep promising? Your promising yourself, you'll stop, but
61
00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:10.480
somehow it just keeps coming back again and again and again.
62
00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:21.120
What steals your confidence? What drains your energy? What lowers
63
00:05:21.519 --> 00:05:31.279
your vibration? What version of yourself do you become afterwards?
64
00:05:32.040 --> 00:05:38.319
That's a big one. Afterwards I would turn into a glutton.
65
00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:49.360
It was fast food, junk food time. And what do
66
00:05:49.439 --> 00:05:52.879
you justify even though deep down you know it's hurting?
67
00:05:54.360 --> 00:06:00.959
What do you hide? Those questions aren't meant to shame you. Shame,
68
00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:06.279
by the way, is the lowest on the vibratory scale
69
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:12.839
of emotions. The questions that are meant to help you
70
00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:17.879
see what may have been hiding in plain sight because
71
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:25.600
you can't change when you're unwilling to identify. Awareness isn't
72
00:06:25.639 --> 00:06:34.439
the finish line, but it's where freedom begins. And I
73
00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:42.959
will share one more of my kryptonite kryptonite kryptonites, So
74
00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:49.720
a kryptonite kryptonit kryptonites. This is one that's a challenge
75
00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:55.959
for me at night my kids, after my kids go
76
00:06:56.000 --> 00:07:09.279
to bed. Ah YouTube, YouTube and junk food. The conspire
77
00:07:10.920 --> 00:07:20.720
YouTube junk Food Late Night. That's the current kryptonite that
78
00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:31.079
I am exposing. But I'm talking about exposing that is
79
00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:35.680
what one of the cures for the kryptonite. What did
80
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:39.120
Superman have to do if he got exposed to kryptonite?
81
00:07:39.639 --> 00:07:43.879
He went to the sun, to the light. You got
82
00:07:43.879 --> 00:07:47.240
to bring a kryptonite to the light. And speaking of
83
00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:49.959
bringing things to light, next time, I'll be joined by
84
00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:55.839
author and licensed family therapist Thomas Kirsteing, author of Disconnected.
85
00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:59.800
We'll explore how technology is quietly changing the way we think,
86
00:08:00.360 --> 00:08:05.040
connect and live and why understanding that matters for every
87
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:12.040
one of us. Everybody has kryptonite. The question isn't whether
88
00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:19.319
we have one, The question is what is your kryptonite?
