Interview with Roderick Jefferson

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Jess Call Jenna.
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Welcome back.
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Thanks for joining Jess Call Jenna again.
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Today I have a friend of mine, Rod Jefferson, who wrote a book, A Stroke of Success.
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We met through an acquaintance and have so much in common.
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Not just the stroke journey, but life journeys are very similar.
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So I'm really excited for all of you to join us today and hear what we have to say.
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This is going to be very much like a fireside chat, unscripted, just the two of us talking, and hope you all take away as much joy as we're going to take away from the day.
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Hi, Rod.
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Thanks for being here.
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Thanks, Jen.
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Appreciate it.
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Looking forward to this.
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So I guess we'll kind of start with the book.
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Fabulous book, by the way.
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Our journey was the same.
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It hit me in some emotional places that I wasn't even sure I still had.
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But one of my favorite things you said was you cannot strategize yourself out of a stroke.
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That I think it still hits me.
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Because I think I that's what I was groomed to do through corporate, right?
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So that's how I thought I had to do it, but you can't do that.
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I think, you know, corporate actually teaches us that.
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I'll take it a step further.
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They indoctrinate us into that.
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Right.
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And the further you move up the ladder, the more.
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Everything is about strategy.
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Until something like that stroke happens and you realize there's no practice for this and there's no blueprint for it.
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Because as you know, going through this as well, every stroke is individual.
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And so you've got to figure out how to get through the next day.
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It's not about long-term, it's not about healing.
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It's not the physical therapist.
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It's let me just get through today.
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Because each new day can bring a whole new challenge, as you know.
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Yeah.
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And even still, it's been years, but there are still days where like a whole new challenge pops up that I wasn't ready for.
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What you were talking about there reminded me of a quote by Mike Tyson, right?
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Everybody has a strategy until they get punched in the face.
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Absolutely.
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And then I believe, yeah, 90% of what happens in life is how you approach it.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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Because I've realized the older I get, the less control we have over anything.
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Right.
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And mine, like most people, I didn't have any warning.
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Yeah.
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It just suddenly suddenly hit.
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And strokes are an interesting thing.
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And I realized that God has a sense of humor because as a keynote speaker, as a voiceover artist, as a professional, it was all about my mind and my voice.
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And that's what he took away.
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Yeah.
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Because my stroke was directly in the middle of my speech center.
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So I couldn't talk.
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So I just had to listen.
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And I realized there is a huge difference.
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And I'll say this to you and to your listeners.
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There is a huge difference between listening and hearing.
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Well said.
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Thanks.
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I think for me, one of the big ones when you say what you know happens in the stroke, mine was in my balance center and it affected speech, but I almost lost my left side.
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So my brain had to make all these alternate connections and just do everything different.
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Like having to listen and like having to accept help when you're a control freak is one of the hardest things to do.
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Well, Dad, and plus, as parents, we're the fixers, right?
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And when you can't fix your own self, that's when mortality lits you in the face.
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You said you almost lost your left.
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I lost my entire left side.
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It was completely paralyzed.
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I went snowblind.
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And for those that are skiboarders or skiers, it's not dark.
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It's literally like looking into a bright light all the time.
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And when you can't talk, you realize that the space between your brain and your mouth is a lot wider than any of us realize.
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We were talking free taping, and we're talking about how we both realize how far our couch was to the bathroom.
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Yeah, I remember that conversation.
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Yeah.
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My daughter, the other night, I was falling asleep in my chair.
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And this is after, you know, I've so-called recovered.
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Um, I think it's still always happening.
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But it's like I'm falling asleep in my chair.
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My daughter goes, Are you gonna go to bed?
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And I'm like, But my bed is so far away.
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Going back to the beginning, that I just couldn't even imagine how I was gonna get down the hallway.
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My brain couldn't process it.
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But I think that's part of that surrender that goes in.
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The stroke is hard, right?
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But it's the recovery that I feel like is harder.
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Sometimes I think people assume that just because they can't see things, that I am recovered, but there are still things I have to do differently.
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There are still struggles I have daily.
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There can be just a day where randomly my whole body and brain is like, nah, not today, girl.
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No, not today.
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Yeah.
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It's not gonna happen, right?
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And that's something else people assume that there is a definition of normal.
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I've walked away and completely abandoned that because what's normal for one is nowhere close to normal to someone else, right?
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As we're talking about again, of getting the handicap placard and then getting out of the car and people looking at you going, Why are you parking here?
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Like you have no idea the tsunami that's going right below the surface where we are.
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And so I I firmly believe the old adage of be nice to everybody because everybody's going through something.
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Yeah.
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At different levels and degrees.
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Yeah, gives new meaning to the don't judge a book by its cover, doesn't it?
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As an author, it gives me a whole new definition of that piece, that's for sure.
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Yeah.
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I feel like all the old adages my grandparents taught me as a kid are all coming back now.
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It's funny.
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Uh every day I hear my mom's, my late mom's voice saying, little pictures have big eyes.
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I didn't understand what that meant.
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And as I got older, all the things that we saw that were ingrained in us, we're kind of living now.
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Yeah.
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It's that one that they used to say, the older you get, the faster life goes.
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Yeah.
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I could live without that one.
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Yeah.
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That's fair.
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That's for sure.
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My grandma used to say with when having kids, and I didn't get it until now that they're older, but she would tell me the days are long, but the weeks are gonna be short.
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Yeah.
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And I think I get that now, and I didn't get it when they were babies.
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There is certainly a lot of learning that comes through experience, right?
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Absolutely.
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I ended up after healing from the stroke, I went very big into how the brain works, neuroscience, neuroplasticity.
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I ended up getting a neuroscience coach certification because I nerded it out.
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But learning how the brain works is kind of how all this podcast and all this came into.
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But it is, it's learning.
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You can learn from books, you can learn from experience.
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I think experience is a much bigger teacher.
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Yeah, that's why I think that there are a lot of intelligent people.
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Not a lot of people are smart.
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Okay, that's right.
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There are a lot of intelligently stupid people.
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Okay, that's fair.
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I don't mean that derogatorily.
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I mean that book smart is one thing, but experience is an amazing teacher.
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I've learned through the American Stroke Society that one out of every four adults over the age of 25 will incur a stroke.
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It may not even be noticeable.
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I've had two.
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The first one I didn't even know happened.
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And it could have been something as simple as your balance is off.
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Yeah.
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Or it feels like a migraine, or you're really super tired, or your eyes are blurry, or maybe there's a little slurring.
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Or it could be completely unnoticeable.
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Well, I think that's what mine was.
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They told me I had three or more, what they would call a mini stroke, sometimes called a TIA before the stroke.
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You could have had it like they told me it probably could have happened even in your sleep that you wouldn't even know it.
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Or like they said, you could have just been a headache.
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And they're quick and over.
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But I think for me, what I learned in the stroke is the one that I had that again, mine had a 95% chance I wouldn't survive.
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So I'm lucky to be here.
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But I think the harder part for me was the recovery.
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But everything I've learned since, I kind of feel like, how did I not know this before?
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But I didn't have the awareness that it existed.
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It's an interesting thing when it comes to strokes.
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I had my stroke, my massive stroke, actually, while I was asleep.
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And 98% of sleep stroke victims never wake up.
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So I am blessed enough to be in that 2% club.
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But when I woke up, I didn't feel different.
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And as we were saying earlier, every stroke is individual.
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Yeah.
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I didn't have any facial droop.
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I didn't have any problems using my limbs.
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My speech started to slur over time, but when I first woke up, I sounded fine.
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But the more I was awake that day, the worse things got.
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And I mean it got bad, bad to where I could barely talk and articulate any words.
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I get anything out.
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And thankfully, I was actually in LA getting ready to do a keynote as a speaker.
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And whenever I'm on the road, my wife and I always jump on the phone and hey, what's going on with the kids?
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What's happening at home?
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What's your day look like?
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And when she talked to me, it was different because I felt like it was kind of echoing in my ear.
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And I thought that's a little weird.
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And so as I started to slur more, thankfully, she knew the fast protocol, which is the stroke protocol to walk you.
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And she first we jumped on FaceTime.
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She wanted to see if my face was true, right?
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Lift your arms up, she wanted to see if I could speak, and she wanted to see if I I was okay with balance.
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No, I wasn't.
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She said, Count to 10.
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Great.
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I've done this once or twice.
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One, two, seven, twenty-three, ninety-two, fifty-five, four.
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And she said, say your ABCs.
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I was like, You've got to be kidding me.
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Yeah.
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And it was A B L Q T X W Y J I G.
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She knew something was wrong.
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Yeah.
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So thankfully I had some folks on my team that were traveling with me.
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They called him Tim Carlson.
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Big shout out.
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And thank you, thank you, thank you for being there and for saving my life.
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Because without Tim Carlson, I would not be here.
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He was a guy that was on my team at the time, and we've become lifelong friends.
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He's the person that called the 911, went into the ambulance with me to emergency.
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Now here's the interesting thing.
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I was in LA.
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They only kept me in the emergency room for 90 minutes.
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When's that ever happened?
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Yeah.
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Right.
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They checked my heart because I have a heart condition, hypotrophic cardiomyopathy.
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I was a high-level athlete, so I've got an excess layer of my layer of muscle around my heart, and I've got a really big heart, Jenna.
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Yeah, I know that about you.
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Literally, I have a large heart now.
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And so they checked my heart.
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But although I had every symptom of having a stroke, they released me.
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And that was the day that I was flying home.
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Miracle number one.
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I'm still alive after having the stroke.
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Miracle number two, as I'm walking through the airport, I dropped.
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I mean, just passed out.
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They put me in a wheelchair and rolled me onto the plane.
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So I land in Oakland and my son takes my car.
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She he goes home.
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My wife rushes me to John Muirover in Walnut Creek.
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We get there, they go through protocol.
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First thing they say to my wife is, Your husband's miracle, because he should not be alive.
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Cabin pressure, altitude, mid-stroke.
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Not something you ever want for Christmas or birthday.
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Yeah, no, I agree.
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So mine was um, I was supposed to get on a flight, and I woke up feeling like I was drunk, you know, like slurring speech, and I was functioning, but much like like I would describe it as being drunk with no alcohol.
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Right.
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And so when they took me to the ER, they thought I just had vertigo.
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And so they were like, Yeah, you're not gonna get on your plane flight tomorrow.
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Let's give you an fMRI and look at the crystals in your ear.
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And they were like, Yeah, it's a little more than vertigo.
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But if I had gotten on the plane, the blood clot in my brain would have burst aneurysm, bleed out.
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Very not good.
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Yeah, so I'm shocked that they put you on a plane.
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Yeah, and I make it there and they go through protocol, they admit me into the hospital.
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I'm there for 10 days, and things have gotten progressively worse.
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Now my entire left side is paralyzed.
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I'm slurring, I can barely talk, and as I said, I can't see.
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Now bear in mind, this was only four years ago, and what was going on then?
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COVID.
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Wow.
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So ICU is not exactly where you wanted to be at that time.
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Yeah, I bet that was a very lonely place.
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It was terrifying because I didn't want my wife coming in there.
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Yeah, sure.
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The kids couldn't come in because you could only have one visitor.
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And I kept telling her, you don't have to come up, just FaceTime me.
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Hard-headed, she wasn't gonna listen.
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So she came up one time and things were just off.
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I was having a really hard time breathing, and I was beyond exhausted.
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I said I'd played basketball, I'd played football, double days.
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It didn't feel like that kind of tire.
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It wasn't like, oh, this has been a long week and I just want to go sleep for a week.
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This was literally, I could barely keep my eyes open.
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Uh-huh.
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I know what you mean.
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And I would in the middle of a sentence.
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I had to have oxygen for the six days I was in the hospital.
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I couldn't breathe on my own.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Breathing took everything out.
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Everything.
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It was tiring.
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They had me on level eight oxygen.
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I can't remember what level I was on, but I know that like I couldn't function without it.
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I remember I had a great doctor that told me, I know this is hard for you.
00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:27.279
Um, my legal name is Jennifer, so he said Jennifer.
00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:31.279
He's like, I know this is hard for you, Jennifer, but the body will heal itself.
00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:35.440
You just have to give it time, and it's gonna take a lot longer than you want it to.
00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:37.600
He didn't know about the control thing, did he?
00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:38.080
No.
00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:40.480
Clearly, yeah, clearly.
00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:44.559
And that's the one thing you learn after having a stroke is patience.
00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:59.519
Because the things that just instinctively you could do get up, walk, go, move around, sort out, you know, your to-do lists doesn't work that I felt like my life before I was probably like the little Tasmanian devil, yeah, in and out of places, run, run, run, go, go, go.
00:12:59.679 --> 00:13:06.399
And when you have to actually slow down because your body can't do it, it's patience, but it's also very humbling.
00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:13.360
You become very understanding and giving everybody the space to be who they are, even if it doesn't agree with you.
00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:14.399
Except yourself.
00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:18.480
Yeah, that's very hardest thing is to give yourself that grace, right?
00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:28.320
And for me, it took away what was literally my brand, if you will, which was my intelligence and my articulation, and I couldn't talk.
00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:35.919
And so you you're really, really humbled by the fact that the smallest things that you took for granted are now gone.
00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:42.399
Yeah, my stroke was right in the middle of my speech center, which happens to be right next to the emotional center.
00:13:42.639 --> 00:13:46.960
So as my brain kept swelling, it was pressing on the emotion center.
00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:49.840
There was not a day that I didn't cry three, four days.
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:53.120
I would burst into tears for no legitimate reason at all.
00:13:53.279 --> 00:14:00.320
And I thought, okay, maybe this was just some cleansing that I needed to get a lot of bundled up things, right?
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:04.639
And as it started to get what I felt like was better, then there was a dip.
00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:10.799
And my wife had come up to the hospital and she was getting ready to go, and she was holding my hand like she didn't want to let go.
00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:11.279
Yeah.
00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:13.519
And tears were welling up in her eyes.
00:14:13.600 --> 00:14:15.200
And I'm like, Are you okay?
00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:16.000
Are the kids going?
00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:17.519
Yeah, everything's all right.
00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:18.399
What's happening?
00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:20.399
Because again, I'm completely disconnected.
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:23.200
I'm out on like Gilligan's Island by myself.
00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:26.720
And she leaves, and so she tells me later.
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:31.039
So she said she cried all the way home because she knew in her heart that she was never gonna see me alive again.
00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:34.240
And I went, Okay, and she's telling me this later after it happens.
00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:35.919
Now, here's why she was crying.
00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:44.080
So suddenly that night, I hear code blue, lights are flashing, machines are beeping, and I hear code blue, code blue, and it's my room number.
00:14:44.799 --> 00:14:52.320
Now, in rushed all of the doctors and the nurses, they're starting chest compression and they're sucking fluids out of me.
00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:57.200
And suddenly I go from beep, beep, beep, beep to beep, and I'm flatlined.
00:14:57.600 --> 00:14:59.440
I am dead legally.
00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:04.639
Now, for those that want to know about NDEs or near-death experience, I did not leave the room.
00:15:04.720 --> 00:15:07.200
And no, I did not see a white light.
00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:11.519
But what I did see was the most vibrant, and I didn't have my glasses on.
00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:13.039
Normally I can't see anything.
00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:18.240
I saw the most vibrant greens and blues and purples and whites that I've ever seen in my life.
00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:21.600
It was like, remember when you were little and you had those kaleidoscopes that you turn?
00:15:21.919 --> 00:15:24.080
It was like that, but on a thousand.
00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:28.399
And then suddenly I float out of my body and I'm up in the corner of the room.
00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:32.240
I'm looking down on them and they're working on my body, but I'm still flatlined.
00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:33.840
Now here's miracle number three.
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:37.120
As I'm watching down, I look to my left, and it's my mom.
00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:39.279
My mom died in 1999.
00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:40.480
This was only four years ago.
00:15:40.639 --> 00:15:41.679
So I look her and I'm okay.
00:15:41.840 --> 00:15:43.039
Good and faithful servant, Mama.
00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:44.399
I've done everything that I can.
00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:45.600
I'm ready to go home.
00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:46.240
Let's go.
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:48.159
And she says, No, son.
00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:49.360
Baby, I was sent.
00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:50.159
And I know it's her.
00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:52.159
She had that purple Moo Moo on, the same look.
00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:54.080
She looked younger, but it was my mom.
00:15:54.240 --> 00:15:54.559
Yeah.
00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:57.360
And she said, I was sent to tell you two things.
00:15:57.679 --> 00:16:02.960
One, that you're gonna be okay and they're going to figure this out, but you have to change everything about your life.
00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:04.799
You've got to slow down.
00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:07.840
Because if you have another one of these, there won't be a conversation.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:09.759
I'm just gonna grab you, we're gonna go.
00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:14.000
And the second thing, you gotta get the book to know the second thing.
00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:15.360
Give that one away.
00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:16.159
That's fair.
00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:20.399
But she did give me my new mission for life and what I was supposed to do.
00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:21.679
Then I'm like, good.
00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:22.960
Okay, I've got questions.
00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:23.840
She's gone.
00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:25.279
Mom, mama.
00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:25.840
Yeah.
00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:26.799
Where'd she go?
00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:30.240
Now I'm sucked back into my body, and my chest is killing me.
00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:30.639
Okay.
00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:32.320
Because of all the chest compression.
00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:35.440
The most uncomfortable space on the planet is a hospital bed.
00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:37.039
There is no position.
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:37.919
Am I wrong?
00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:38.799
No, you're not going to be able to do that.
00:16:38.960 --> 00:16:39.840
You can actually get comfortable.
00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:46.720
And mine was worse because I had a neurologist that said that where my injury was, that I couldn't stare at TVs and blue lights and all.
00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:48.480
So I had to lay there just listen.
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:51.519
I couldn't be on my phone when you talk about like snowboys.
00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:52.879
I couldn't read anything.
00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:54.320
I couldn't, I couldn't focus long.
00:16:54.559 --> 00:17:02.000
So I just had to lay there in this room where there's like a little window up in the corner, a beep, beep all the time.
00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:04.640
And every hour somebody's like, hey, we're here for your blood.
00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:06.000
Hey, can you read this flashcard?
00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:07.039
We're gonna need vitals.
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:09.200
Can you can you you lift your hands?
00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:09.920
Can you turn it over?
00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:14.160
I'm like, I just started doing it out of routine now because they do it so much.
00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:14.799
Oh yeah.
00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:16.240
Can you follow my finger?
00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:18.880
That was I didn't even do it with me because I couldn't see anything.
00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:21.759
Yeah, that one was the hardest one for me because I couldn't focus.
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:22.240
Yeah.
00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:24.960
So now here's why it got really interesting.
00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:26.400
I'm sucked back into my body.
00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:29.839
And remember, my left side is completely paralyzed.
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:33.119
And then I hear the one word that no one wants to hear.
00:17:33.759 --> 00:17:34.400
Clear.
00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:34.720
Oh.
00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:42.000
He's coming down to hit me with the paddles, and thank God he's on my right side because my left side is completely paralyzed.
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:47.920
So as he's about to hit me, and I'm still beep, beep, beep, and all of a sudden, beep, beep, and it came back.
00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:49.599
Right before he hit me, I grabbed his hand.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:52.240
Thankfully, I didn't grab the paddle because I couldn't see anything.
00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:54.400
I just reached out for something for his arm.
00:17:54.799 --> 00:17:58.079
And then they start going, they call in the emergency response team.
00:17:58.240 --> 00:18:01.440
Everything changes, but that's where the hard work starts, as you know.
00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:01.839
Yeah.
00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:06.079
Now you've got physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy.
00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:08.799
Learn how to tie your shoe, how to use a regular spoon.
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:12.000
Seriously, be a control freak and give all that up.
00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:15.440
My experience was not like a flat line near death, if you will.
00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:18.000
The night that I had it, I thought I had food poisoning.
00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:20.880
And so I just went, fell, fell out on the bathroom floor.
00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:24.240
And when I got up, I couldn't do anything, right?
00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:26.000
That's where I woke up like I was drunk.
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:27.759
But it felt like years to me.
00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:31.599
I did not get the white light, the complete out-of-body experience.
00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:35.119
I experienced with all I can call it is like a life review, right?
00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:36.000
Like wow.
00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:39.200
So that was my experience where it it's really, it was me.
00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:42.000
Literally, your life flashing before your eyes.
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:50.480
The best I can explain it is like imagine there's 5,000 thumbnails and you can just dive into anyone you want at any time.
00:18:50.720 --> 00:18:54.480
And it's all different times of your life, all different experiences.
00:18:54.640 --> 00:19:02.240
But when you dive into it, it the best I can explain it is that imagine we experience this moment and I would be experiencing it as you and not me.
00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:04.160
And that's the karma of the situation.
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:09.440
And that was when I woke up, and all I can remember is like something inside of me telling me it's not your time.
00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:15.599
What I learned from that sort of life review is how quick this life really is beyond what we've been through.
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:21.920
And that if I know I'm here for some purpose, which I still don't clearly know yet, that's what the podcast is kind of for.
00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:28.400
But that my job is to enjoy my life and make sure that regardless of what anybody else thinks, that I'm good with what I'm doing.
00:19:28.559 --> 00:19:33.039
And as long as that's it, I know whatever happens next, as long as I'm good with it.
00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:38.720
My job is to give one smile to somebody that would not have gotten that if I wasn't brought back.
00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:42.720
And I take it very seriously because there's a lot going on.
00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:50.640
And if I can give somebody just that smile, that feeling of appreciation and just being seen, then you know what?
00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:51.839
Mission accomplished.
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.839
And now I'm at a point where I'm like, you know what?
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.039
Things aren't that serious.
00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:57.440
All that cut me off on the freeway, go ahead.
00:19:57.519 --> 00:19:58.640
You may have an emergency.
00:19:58.720 --> 00:19:59.200
I don't know.
00:19:59.440 --> 00:19:59.680
Go.
00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:01.440
I think that's a good way to put it.
00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:02.319
It's not that serious.
00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:04.400
Like to me, I just turned the temperature down, right?
00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:06.559
That's not gonna boil over anymore.
00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:15.119
I think one of the ones that helped me a lot in my recovery, which was of course one of the hardest pieces, was my Angelou has a quote that's every storm runs out of rain.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:15.759
Yes.
00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:18.880
And I remember telling myself that many times.
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:21.839
It's hard to believe that when you're in the middle of that storm, though.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:22.880
It sure is.
00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:27.680
I loved in your book how you talked about in your version, it was walking a different house every day.
00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:29.200
Mine was walking a different driveway.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:35.119
But you know, they they give you this idea like get to the end of the block, and that's so overwhelming and so frustrating.
00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:38.559
But I can't even see to the end of my fair enough, my street.
00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:40.319
More or less think about walking that far.
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:44.720
If you could go one house, then two houses, then three houses, et cetera.
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:47.519
What's the old adage about you know eating an elephant, right?
00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:47.920
Yeah.
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:48.960
One bite at a time.
00:20:49.599 --> 00:20:53.039
And that's how I felt learning to walk, and the same with you.
00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:54.640
Yeah, I think that's a big one.
00:20:54.799 --> 00:21:01.279
And so I think when you get to that level and you start living your life a little bit different, that little one percent.
00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:04.000
I had a friend that always told me, girl, just take baby steps.
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:05.599
That's all you gotta crawl before you can walk.
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:06.160
Right.
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:11.359
So I think a lot about what uh Martin Luther King had a quote that was if you can't fly, run.
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:12.559
If you can't run, walk.
00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:15.200
If you can't walk, crawl, but never stop moving forward.
00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:15.839
That's all right.
00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:20.160
See, what people don't understand is what you were just saying is a perfect example.
00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:21.920
In your mind, it was perfect.
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:26.000
Yeah, but getting from here to here, it completely changes.
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:34.960
And that I don't know about you, but that was the hardest thing for me is you know what you're trying to say, but but between your brain and your mouth, it gets lost somewhere.
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:36.079
And that's hard.
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:38.319
That part is so frustrating.
00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:41.039
There are things I used to be amazing at.
00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:43.599
And I look at them and I'm like, I don't even know how to do that.
00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:46.640
And then all of a sudden I start not naturally beating myself up.
00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:48.079
Girl, you should know how to do this.
00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:49.200
Uh, but I forgot.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:58.720
My explanation for everything when I'm out doing keynotes and I'm talking to people or people I haven't seen in ages, I go, I kind of had a stroke.
00:21:58.960 --> 00:21:59.839
And I leave it there.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:02.640
It's like people come up and go, Do you remember me?
00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:04.640
And I'm like, and I at first I tried to front.
00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:05.920
I was like, You look familiar.
00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:07.680
Now I go, uh-uh, I had a stroke.
00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:08.480
I've lost a lot.
00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:09.519
Can you tell me your name again?
00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:10.400
And that was humbling.
00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:10.720
Yeah.
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:15.680
Because I put a lot of credence on being able to remember and connect with people.
00:22:15.759 --> 00:22:17.039
And then I couldn't do that.
00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:19.920
Yeah, like you recognize the face, but you couldn't place it.
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:21.599
Sometimes I wouldn't even recognize the face.
00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:21.920
Okay.
00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:25.440
Sometimes I'm like, you could pass me an airport and I wouldn't know you.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:27.200
But you have to go, wait a minute.
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:34.240
Give yourself some grace and treat yourself the way you would anybody else that's had a major brain injury.
00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:35.519
And that's what we had.
00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:37.839
And it's really hard to do that to ourselves.
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:44.960
Like I find that it's so much easier to give grace to other people, but to allow myself some grace, that part is really hard.
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:46.559
I've learned how to do it now.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:52.240
I mean, I've learned now after rebuilding, because it wasn't just, hey, by the way, can you recover and get physically better?
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:54.079
It's can you live a whole new lifestyle?
00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:59.839
They told me mine was stress poisoning, like the overall cortisol spikes over the amount of stress.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:00.079
Yeah.
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:01.519
And so stress is no joke.
00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:01.920
Right?
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:07.519
And then they're like, yeah, you if you don't want to have another stroke, the best way you can avoid it is to learn how to not have stress.
00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:08.799
Um, I'm an adult.
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:09.359
Hello?
00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:11.200
Do you live in the world right now?
00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:12.240
Have you looked around it?
00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:13.039
Yeah, life's gonna be.
00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:15.039
There's a little stress going on right now.
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:22.160
But I've learned to protect my boundaries and sort of make it there's a space for me where I get treated with the same respect as everybody else.
00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:24.400
I love what you just said, your boundaries.
00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:30.079
What now have you put a wall up to as a boundary that wasn't there before your stroke?
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:31.759
Protecting my time and peace.
00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:33.759
Oh my peace is my currency.
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:36.799
So if you're gonna take my peace, it's too expensive.
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:38.720
That price, I'm not willing to pay.
00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:41.839
I am not willing to go through that recovery again.
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:44.880
Like if it happens again, just take me because I don't have that in me.
00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:46.240
I don't have that strength.
00:23:46.480 --> 00:23:48.319
Right now, one and done, my man.
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:49.119
One and done.
00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:55.759
But I think that like realizing that stress and the loss of my peace, it's not one moment.
00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:59.839
It is the overall consistency of it, like walk in the driveways or the houses.
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:04.400
If I keep going down the road of stress, I'm headed back there.
00:24:04.559 --> 00:24:06.799
So protecting my peace is everything.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:07.519
I love that.
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:10.559
And I it has changed how I show up in the world.
00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:11.359
How so?
00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:14.799
I don't feel like I have conflicts with people.
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:16.079
There's no reason to.
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:17.519
I feel like I did before.
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:22.400
I used to feel like I needed to explain my position or tell everybody anything.
00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:28.000
I think part of being in sales is that you know, you're trying to control the conversation and control the outcomes.
00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:31.920
And so now I'm just like, okay, if our narratives don't align, that's okay.
00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:33.359
I'm not gonna fight with you.
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:38.400
I just my favorite is a quote by Tupac that is just because we're not friends doesn't make a sense of me.
00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:39.839
I'm bigger than that.
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.319
I hope you eat, but I'm not letting you eat at my table.
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:43.839
And you're not sitting at my table.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:45.279
And that's a big one for me.
00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:51.599
I love that because a lot of people think that taking care of yourself and doing self-care is selfish.
00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:52.559
And that's a bad thing.
00:24:52.720 --> 00:25:02.880
Where after the stroke, I realize self-care and selfishness is necessary because there are a lot of people that will take and take until you put that wall up and that boundary and go, that's it.
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:04.000
I don't have any more to give.
00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:08.000
And and you have to take time to recharge your batteries.
00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:12.000
I realized that a lot of people I thought were friends or really acquaintances.
00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:12.400
Yeah.
00:25:12.559 --> 00:25:15.279
Or they were co-workers, not really friends.
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:21.119
And I don't mean that negatively because the thing that it did teach me is that everybody on your team ain't on your squad.
00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:22.000
That's fair.
00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:26.480
I think that like when you're talking about different reasons, seasons are letting people go or they come.
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:29.440
I think it goes back to that idea of don't judge a book by its cover.
00:25:29.519 --> 00:25:29.680
Yeah.
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.400
You can't judge someone on level two when you're on level 10.
00:25:34.640 --> 00:25:35.359
Yeah, that's true.
00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:38.400
It's hard to be humble enough to remember what you like it to.
00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:42.079
And sometimes they were actually better than you were at that level.
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:43.680
But I think that goes back to that.
00:25:43.759 --> 00:25:47.519
It's like, you know, you just appreciate everybody for why they're there.
00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:47.839
Yeah.
00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:59.039
Again, I I really think about things from I when I get to where I'm going, which is the next stage, I know it's gonna be me judging myself, and I better be damn sure that I'm okay with everything I did.
00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:00.079
Absolutely.
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:01.119
I couldn't agree more.
00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:06.960
And I tell you what, one thing that I am not willing to do is let other people control what I think.
00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:08.960
My authentic self needs to come out.
00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:11.920
If I'm okay with it, then I don't have to care if anybody else was.
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:13.200
Everything's not meant for them.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:20.400
And as an author, I look at my life now in chapters, and everybody is not going to be in every chapter.
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:21.519
And that's okay.
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.920
But they do add, it's like a gumbo, right?
00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:27.680
They add a little seasoning to that particular chapter, and then they move on.
00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:32.960
I'm like, all right, well, I got a chance to experience a new taste, a new flavor, and I move forward.
00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:36.480
I thank them for what they brought, whether it was positive or negative.
00:26:36.640 --> 00:26:39.119
My mom used to say, you learn how to or how not to.
00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:40.240
Either way, you learn.
00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:41.599
One hurts more than the other.
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:42.000
Yeah.
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:43.279
But you still learn.
00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:43.599
That's it.
00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:45.519
And that stuck with me my entire life.
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:48.160
And then I just kind of go, that chapter is over.
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:50.079
Move forward, open the book.
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:51.039
Are you still in it?
00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:51.839
If not, okay.
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:54.240
Oh, there's somebody new in the chapter that I didn't know before.
00:26:54.400 --> 00:27:00.480
Well, I think again, some of it could be the stroke, and some of it could be as you get older, but you start to appreciate things differently.
00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:04.160
I can still remember the first day I read a page in a book.
00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:07.519
And this was probably three or four months after the stroke that I could finally read.
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:10.640
I go running down the hall with my hands up.
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:12.640
I was off the walk with the I can read.
00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:14.319
And everybody in my family is like, okay.
00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:16.319
Good, good, good, good, good for you.
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:16.880
Right.
00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:17.599
But like to me.
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:21.039
They don't understand that's a huge milestone.
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:22.480
And I did not stop.
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:29.519
Yeah, I remember going from the walker to a cane to crutches because I still had the balance issue.
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:35.279
And when I finally walked all the way across just my living room, yeah, I literally burst into tears.
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:35.680
Yeah.
00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:37.359
It's like winning a marathon or something.
00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:39.440
Yeah, I just went 26.2 miles.
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:39.839
Yeah.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:41.519
You're like, can I get my gold medal now?
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:44.000
Yeah, it's it's a it's an achievement for sure.
00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:45.119
It's quite an achievement.
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:50.400
And I wish more people could have the appreciation of having a stroke without having the stroke.
00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:55.359
What I mean is that we're always looking for these big things to celebrate.
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:56.559
I think I am grateful.
00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:59.759
Like some days I just get up and I'm like, I'm just grateful to be Braven.
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:03.920
I can't tell you how grateful I am that both of us are sitting here right now after what we've been through.
00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:07.759
And not just what we've been through, but the recovery that comes with it.
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:09.759
That is the peace that nobody sees.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:15.039
And I saw somebody this week that I've known for a while, and he knew I had a stroke, but we were talking about it.
00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:17.440
And he was like, I didn't realize it was that bad.
00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:18.880
And I was like, Well, what did you want me to do?
00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:19.759
Tell you I almost died.
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:20.960
Yeah.
00:28:21.119 --> 00:28:24.319
Like we're supposed to wear this chest plate on going, I had a stroke.
00:28:24.480 --> 00:28:24.799
Yeah.
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:30.480
No, there's a handful of friends that checked on me every single day, and and a couple of family members.
00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:32.400
And I remember that I couldn't even talk.
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:33.200
I just grunted.
00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:34.799
I'm like, you're still talking to me.
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:36.319
And it's like 30 minutes later.
00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:36.799
Yeah.
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:39.279
Because they were a part of that recovery.
00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:41.440
I realized that true recovery.
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:48.559
I don't mean going out to your physical therapist and your speech therapist, but the dark work that you do at home, recovery happens.
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:49.440
That's it.
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:57.119
It's not the big strides when you can go in and you can, you know, move the hand on the clock and they say put it at 10 o'clock and you can move it.
00:28:57.279 --> 00:28:58.640
Those things that we had to go through.
00:28:58.960 --> 00:28:59.359
Oh, yeah.
00:28:59.680 --> 00:29:02.559
It's the sum of all those small wins.
00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:12.640
So if I can say anything, I think look for more small wins in life every day instead of these big, huge trophies and huge wins.
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:14.559
Not everything is a soap opera.
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:16.319
Most of life is the mundane.
00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:23.680
It is really mundane, and it's a lot of dark work that is to get to become who you are and who you want to be.
00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:28.720
And I think that's where a lot of people come just short of actually hitting life's goals.
00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:35.119
And some days just breathing and taking a step is like the equivalent of, like you said, getting across the room.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:40.000
Like that is worth celebrating to the level of the guy who got the gold medal.
00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:41.440
For you, that's a gold medal.
00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:42.240
Absolutely.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:46.720
I think it took me, it was, it was like a week of trying to just get past the first sentence.
00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:47.839
You should celebrate.
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:48.319
Yeah.
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:51.200
And it's not because you deserve it, but you've earned it.
00:29:51.359 --> 00:29:54.000
You've put in the work to get through that page.
00:29:54.160 --> 00:30:00.000
You put in the work of walking to the next driveway in the next driveway in the next driveway.
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:00.400
Yeah.
00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:05.200
Like when I first heard reading, they make these rulers that have like that little highlighted section in the middle.
00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:08.000
My eyes couldn't process the overcrowding on the page.
00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:11.920
So I had to start with a ruler moving it down lane by line just to be able to read.
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:13.359
But yeah, I think, I think it was.
00:30:13.440 --> 00:30:15.680
I I can remember that when I got through the full page.
00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:22.240
And I mean, it wasn't one of those like super small brim, but I mean, I think most people could probably do it with their, you know, eyes closed, if you will.
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:26.720
And for me, it was just, I was so excited that I read that page because I had been trying.
00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:32.640
I remember every day trying to get through the first sentence of that paragraph and like reading it and then going, I don't know what I just read.
00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:34.319
Like it just didn't compute.
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:36.240
The brain had to make a new connection.
00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:39.839
What I had to learn with the stroke is that actually hurts you.
00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:40.079
Yeah.
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:47.279
It gets to a point of diminishing return because you get brain tired and then you start to lose cognitive function.
00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:47.680
Yeah.
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:50.319
It's like, okay, I can only do this for 20 minutes.
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:55.599
I want to read for an hour, or those crazy things you say, you know, you have to match the colors, yeah.
00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:57.759
I could do it for about 15, 20 minutes.
00:30:58.079 --> 00:31:00.160
After that, my body would just give out.
00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:06.160
And then I would do 15, 20 minutes of brain work and I'd go pass out and I'd have to have a nap.
00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:06.640
Yeah.
00:31:06.799 --> 00:31:08.079
And your body two hours.
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:10.400
Yeah, and the body doesn't want to cooperate after that.
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:15.440
And you're thinking it was only 15 minutes, but your brain has no concept of that kind of time.
00:31:15.519 --> 00:31:21.279
It just knows that you're putting on a high level of burden and stress that it may not even be ready for yet.
00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:26.000
I learned that your brain uses about 20% of your total physical energy.
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:26.480
Wow.
00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:32.160
So when you're using your mind, it's it's taking up 20% of the energy that your entire body has.
00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:34.400
All your internal organs, all of it.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:37.119
But yeah, so I think about brain breaks are important.
00:31:37.359 --> 00:31:38.319
It takes a lot out of you.
00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:42.400
What I'm doing is I color code my calendar now.
00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:48.240
Because changing hats for different meetings doesn't work as easily or as smooth as it used to.
00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:50.720
And I can only do two, no more than two meetings.
00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:56.079
And so what I've doing then is I will actually, because we've got the calendar link and all those things, right?
00:31:56.480 --> 00:32:02.720
I will block out times to just go outside, get some fresh air, sit in the backyard, get away from the computer.
00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:07.680
Because otherwise, it'll be like seven, eight meetings in a day, and my brain can't take more.
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:11.839
Yeah, then I'm the one that's hurting later that night, mentally and physically.
00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:12.960
I I agree with that.
00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:14.559
Again, that's those boundaries things.
00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:15.519
So I do the same thing.
00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:19.759
I schedule a section for myself where there's my in-between is something's really busy.
00:32:19.839 --> 00:32:20.720
Here's 15 minutes.
00:32:20.799 --> 00:32:23.359
And the other day I just had to go walk around the block.
00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:25.279
I literally left my phone at home.
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:26.240
I was like, I can't.
00:32:26.400 --> 00:32:28.960
I just I just took my dog around the corner.
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:32.960
These things take a lot away from your brain.
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:35.359
So I always say, seven o'clock, turn it off.
00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:37.519
But you're going out to eat, turn it over.
00:32:37.599 --> 00:32:39.920
If you're sitting with the family, be present.
00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:41.839
And that was hard for me because I was always on my phone.
00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:44.240
That is my one addiction is being on that phone.
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:45.599
I think that's most of us actually.
00:32:45.920 --> 00:32:46.880
That's the dopamine here.
00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:47.039
Right.
00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:48.160
And that's the way it's set up.
00:32:48.480 --> 00:32:59.039
But now I have to remember there was a time when I didn't have this opportunity to sit down and do these things, to hang out with the family, to spend time with my wife or with my kids or with my granddaughter.
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:07.039
And so when they're around, and I'll find myself slipping sometime, I'll go back to my phone and my daughter will go, Dad, is that necessary or was it just automatic?
00:33:07.119 --> 00:33:07.759
And I'm like, you know what?
00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:09.200
I didn't even realize I was looking at it.
00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:11.119
I'm about to call out my mom.
00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:12.720
Hopefully she doesn't hear this too much.
00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:16.160
But we had a rule when we would go out to dinner with the kids that you couldn't be on your phone.
00:33:16.319 --> 00:33:20.799
I remember we went out to dinner once and it was my daughters, me and my mom, and everybody had their phone away.
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:21.839
My mom's the one on them.
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.039
The kids are like, uh, Grammy.
00:33:23.279 --> 00:33:24.000
Oh, they'll remind you.
00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:24.319
Yeah.
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:25.279
They will definitely call it.
00:33:25.440 --> 00:33:29.440
And we tease her to this day, like, you were the only one on your you're the one breaking the rules.
00:33:29.519 --> 00:33:30.480
But it is amazing.
00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:35.519
I can't tell you how many times I've gone to even business meeting lunches or something, and everybody's on their phone.
00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:36.400
Nobody's even telling you.
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:38.319
It's like, why did you even bother to go to the restaurant?
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:39.599
I think it's those boundaries.
00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:40.720
You have to put them in there.
00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:42.079
I absolutely agree.
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:42.480
Yeah.
00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:48.480
One of my favorite parts in thinking about your book was how you said this could be the end, but it's just the start.
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:49.599
That's how you end it.
00:33:49.759 --> 00:33:50.480
That's how I feel.
00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:54.400
It's it wasn't the end of my journey, but it was the start of the new life.
00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:56.240
So hence Jenna 2.0.
00:33:56.400 --> 00:33:56.960
I love that.
00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:03.519
You know, sometimes you have to go through something to really appreciate what you have and where you are.
00:34:03.680 --> 00:34:09.599
And what my stroke has done is given me a new appreciation for life every day.
00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:10.079
Right.
00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:15.599
And so that's why I say find one way to find and learn something new every day.
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:17.519
And two things I want to leave people with.
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:20.239
One is the world is a really small neighborhood.
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:21.360
Be nice to everybody.
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:29.440
And secondly, if you'll help me to give other people that one smile every day, at some point you may be that one that needs it.
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:30.320
I like that.
00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:32.639
I always think of things as like karma.
00:34:32.719 --> 00:34:36.480
And it's not just what goes around, comes around, but it's like what you put out is what you get back.
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:37.679
That's a big piece of it.
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:38.800
So 100%.
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:40.320
So give to give.
00:34:40.559 --> 00:34:40.719
Yeah.
00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:41.920
Just give to give.
00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:42.960
It'll all come back.
00:34:43.039 --> 00:34:47.440
It may not come back looking exactly like what you think, but sometimes usually it doesn't.
00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:48.159
It usually is.
00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:50.239
Sometimes you've got a roof over your head.
00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:51.360
You've got food.
00:34:51.519 --> 00:34:53.679
You're say in a safe environment.
00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:54.880
Your family is healthy.
00:34:55.119 --> 00:34:56.320
Sometimes you stop and think.
00:34:56.559 --> 00:34:59.679
For all those things you've done for other people, this may be the give back to you.
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:04.239
Well, you don't know where it's gonna go, but just make sure the seeds you plant are worth it, I guess.
00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:05.519
Life is a ripple.
00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:07.119
Well, we'll have to do this again.
00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:08.320
Thanks for joining.
00:35:08.480 --> 00:35:11.440
Remember what I always say: karma's real energy is contagious.
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:12.239
Check your vibes.
00:35:17.920 --> 00:35:21.760
So I know we've talked a lot about the book here, Stroke of Success.
00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:28.320
So for those of you out there that actually want to grab a copy of this, you can go on to RoderickJefferson.com.
00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:35.039
You can follow me on social media, Roderick Jefferson, on Instagram, on LinkedIn, on X, on Threads.
00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:38.239
I always say if you can't find me in my books, you're not trying.
00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:41.840
So thanks again for the opportunity and say finally.
00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:43.599
I didn't write this book for me.
00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:46.320
I wrote it for people that are going through difficulties.
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:53.599
And while we talked a lot about the stroke, the book is really about when problems arise and things happen in life and life is life everywhere.
00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:54.960
How are you going to approach it?
00:35:55.039 --> 00:35:55.280
Right.
00:35:55.440 --> 00:36:04.719
And for those that are out there that are growing and moving up that ladder in life, whether it's personally, professionally, whatever it is, I'm all about success.
00:36:04.880 --> 00:36:07.199
But always stop for a moment and ask one question.
00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:08.000
At what cost?
00:36:08.159 --> 00:36:09.199
What are you willing to give up?
00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:14.480
And I hope that it's not the same thing that happened to myself and it cost me my life temporarily.
00:36:14.639 --> 00:36:16.079
We talked a lot about boundaries.
00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:17.280
Think a little bit about that one.
00:36:17.519 --> 00:36:18.320
What can you remove?
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:20.320
We're always trying to add more on our plates.
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:26.000
Take a moment and say, what can I take off my plate to make life maybe not easier, but just a little bit better.
00:36:26.159 --> 00:36:31.679
And if you have trouble finding Roderick Jefferson's information, you can go to justcallgenna.online.
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:36.400
There's a sponsor page that has a link to Rod's website and the book and all that.
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:40.800
So if you get stuck not finding him on socials, which I agree with him, if you can't find him, you're not trying.
00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:45.360
But if you need to, you can go to mine justcallgenna.online and you'll find links to all of it there.