1999

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The Creepy Podcast, Episode five. Story to nineteen ninety nine
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music by the BBC Radio Workshop. Guest story. I was
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pumpkin Butt and this a little.
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The year is nineteen ninety nine. My story, it's in
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the future. This attention, This is a better app hover boards.
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Where's my hell? Nine thousand? Stop killing me, Dave? That
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really sucks in you. That sentence brings me back to
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my senior kindergarten class. Such a thing.
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Back when I was in kindergarten garden, I was the
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best finger painter.
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How many years did this one finger garden? Well, you
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know you're a freshman kindergarten, you're junior. You graduated in
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a masters in paint. Finger painter? You hate idea? What
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a where was it? This sentence brings me back to
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my senior kindergarten class when I was five years old. Okay, best,
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I remember that kindergarten graduation. That was a tearful day.
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It was where we used to read out the date
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on the blackboard every single day. That's two good memories.
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The year nineteen ninety nine exists as a stain in
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my mind. However, is that bad? It will stain in
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my mind? It was nineteen ninety nine, give me some clubs?
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Oh yeah, white?
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Ok?
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Sorry? As a memory that Oh okay, we're going nineties
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right with racist TV showt Oh yeah yeah, definitely do
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an injurracial kiss. Why why did you kiss that black girl? So?
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I got a stain in my mind as a memory
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that will not go away no matter how I try
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to forget it. That's stain. Nineteen ninety nine marked the
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year I lost my first tooth, my first time on
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a plane, and unfortunately, the early loss of my childhood innocence.
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Oh my god, Hey it's a what date? That was
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a sad day. I hope you got ice cream app
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all in one?
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Remember this? And I remember all this. I literally don't
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remember what I did, like like four or five days ago.
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That's why you need the photo album with all the
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burn the burning people.
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Take a picture everything that happens burning because they won't
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get this reference the burning, flaming people.
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That one memory photo album, that one memory that refuses
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to be wiped. I hate kid is waiting for you, guys.
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Tom reminds me when my brother was potty training her
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mind from down the hall. Wipe my god, asshole sounds
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like him. It all started with the New Week or
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Old TV. At that time, Pokemon was the latest fad
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to hit school. For those days, that was like the
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biggest Jamaican gay porno ever. Pokemon, I, Pokemon, Iron, Pokemon
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Woke the im On, shove up in the ass, Pokemon cards, games, stickers,
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and the most popular TV show toys, TV twice swing accessories.
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What I watched the ship out of that show? I
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don't lie in nineteen ninety nine? You did when you
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were five? Nineteen ninety nine? Yeah, when you're when you're young.
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So of course, every time I came home from school,
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I would stay glued to the TV until Pokemon came
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on at five. The only problem was that my dad
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watched the news at five thirty. Asshole set this place
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of fire minch and Pokemon episodes were back to back,
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which meant I had to miss an episode every day.
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Something I wind on and on about.
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Okay you are I want to probably had a VC mother.
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I want to watch Pokemon tape that ship kid, seriously,
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not ninety nine though, No nine. I'm thinking it back
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when I was a kid. Still, when I was a kid,
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A dinosaur stepped on the VCR and I could take Pokemon.
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So because you had a Pokemon dinosaur, he had a
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Pokey store. Fucking stepped on it. My top gun tape
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was in there. My dad got tired of hearing me
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complain every day. That must be why he went and
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bought another TV. You were fucking balling, seriously balls a
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white family, dad. I'm retired of you watching sports cham
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My Pokemon's dad. I went to bog My dad put
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the TV he bought in my room the room. Unfortunately,
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it was just an old small boob tube off with
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the rabbit ears, like the large boom tubes. Myself, I
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tell you I watched that all day, large boo I
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didn't have I didn't have a I didn't have a
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TV in my room. This TV doesn't even pass the
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pencil tack. Actually, I did have a TV in everything
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you did. You had your own room, It's true. I
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shared my room with my brother. I had a bunk
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bed in high school with my feet hung off the
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end of it. Well, were you a bro Grammar?
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Awesome?
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That was awesome going to hanging out in your room.
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My brother would be like, banging on the door, I
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want my truck. I'm like, I'm in.
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Here with the Girl go Away and my Orca poster,
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My Orca the Killer Whale poster.
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It also only had twenty channels, not including the channel
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Pokemon was on. What I recall, I didn't care though,
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I was just thrilled I had my own TV in
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my room. Pokemon, I'll take you. After surfing through the channels,
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I came to the conclusion that only Channel two TVO
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Kids was worth watching, so I watched that for a while.
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I watched the hell out of Aca out of the Pokemon.
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It wasn't for another few months until I discovered Channel
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twenty one. Really, Channel twenty one day in April, I
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was flipping through the channels trying to see if Pokemon
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was on Pokemon. As he learned his lesson with this
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really has, I pressed Channel twenty one into all this.
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He had a remote too. You had a remote in
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nineteen ninety nine. It was a clicker to say. Next
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a few things to say.
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Number one, this kids graduated from senior kindergarten.
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So what he's like five five years old. He's got
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like a Rolls Royce. He's Richie rich Is. Oh my god,
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he's got a TV. He's got he's got the ex
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wife already. Yeah, totally. He's still got a mortgage and
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his liver's not doing too well either. God seriously, all
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that hairline way back, never even had it, scary hair
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even came in. Well, that's right, never even had a hairline.
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I pressed Channel twenty one into the remote, hoping there
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were more channels, and so until, what my delight, there was,
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Oh yeah, more channels. My dad was surprised too, oh goodness,
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but he let me watch it because it seemed to
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have kids programs on even though they were naked and
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Channel one with a Jamaican Channel twenty one. The channel
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was called kalad On Local twenty one, Caledan, and later
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I found out it was indeed broadcast from the town
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of Caledon, Ontario, a town very close to my city. Okay,
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that's what's wrong. It's Canadian's exactly what it is. Their
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health care you're so rich with their their socialized healthcare.
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They're all like nice and attractive and sh savages Kaledan.
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Take me away. The TV shows I saw in Caledon
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Local twenty one looked poorly made, and I never understood
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what was going on in them. Half the time. Critic
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always a critic. Yeah, I know, five year old fucking critic.
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I don't like these stairs. They're poorly made TV in
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your room. They're writings derivative. This is just like what
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happened on Sasame Straight last week. They don't sound like that. However,
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I grew up every but I digressed. However I grew up,
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But then I grew up. Then I grew end a story.
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I guess every time I thought of that channel, I
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realize more and more how messed up the shows were.
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And I had to ask myself what the fuck was
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I watching? And I asked myself, what the fuck was
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I watching? Oh no, no, no, Here's where it gets good.
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The following is a list of shows and episodes I
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remember seeing on Caladon. This was twenty one. This is
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why I gave it to you. When I hit this part,
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I'm like, right, here is where it gets good. I'm
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opening up the TV guide to my subconscious. Here it goes.
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Are you ready? It sounds just like Odd's voice two.
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For some reason, how I remember such detail even disturbs me.
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But I guess things like this stand out in your mind.
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For a while, there were only three shows I could
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find on the channel them out with a gun. There's
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a stain in there too, probably because the channel was
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only operational between four pm and nine pm. There you go, Okay,
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here we go Bobby. Episode six Bobby, Hey Bobby, So
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this is Whitney Houston, Joe, Bobby, help me go poop?
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I can't go poop? Bobby White, my God, did put
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your finger my buck? Get this poop out? I recall.
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Bobby was a show where the characters were simply live
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action hands, exactly Bobby getting his bathroom. This is this
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is a show that speak easily, would do talk to
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the hand, no puppets or anything, just the it sounds Canadian.
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This is Canadian public broadcast. Been doing my hand job
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all day. Oh my tired. I got cramps from doing
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my hand job. What kind of job can I get
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other than a hand job? The job that is blow.
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The show featured a hand named Booby I swad of God.
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It says poopy, It says it on the page. She's
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actually holding it. Stop it, don't do don't just let
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it out a little bit. And that's not what happens,
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and not in light pants that was in this It
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doesn't happen all right, So Booby found himself in a
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new situation in every episode the show. Did I get
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in this situation? Have you ever noticed? I am handy?
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The show was only five minutes long, that's all it takes.
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Number Yeah, and it looked like it was shot in
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front of a damn decay wall with the hands always
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on a table with a red tablecloth. Very low budget, obviously,
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once again, this five year old what a fucking critic?
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Tried to make TV budget. Try to make your own
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television show. Yeah, tried doing it without hands, which it's
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called stumpy. Make content. Now. This was the first episode
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I watched. The episode began with Booby trying to get
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ketchup out of a bottle. Ketchup bottle? Seriously, like, actually truth,
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I want to work. Yeah, it's a good show. I've
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watched Seriously, I don't know it's funny.
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In the nineties, I watched weirder shit on like MTV too,
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with like fun shows it and all that ship. Yeah,
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this sounds par for the course with that ship any
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Milan Ocus, all that weird ship on MTV two.
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That's fine to me. It actually showed him beating himself
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against the bottle of the bottle of ketchup. That means
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it would be like getting the It's a hand beating,
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it's a beating hand. Okay, so the hand is beating
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beating hand. The hand is beating against himself, against the
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bottom of the bottle of This isn't like two handed puppets.
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Its beating one hand. It's beating the ketchup on the
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bottom one hand. Bob, but ketchup. He stopped breaking the
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apartment Desmond the anarchist. Okay, so we're the hand is beating. Wow,
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that text is so big. I'm not as young as
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I used to be. Version not five, not five anymore?
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What I got my reading glasses of seven? What you want? Finally,
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another hand came by and looked at Booby. Together they operate.
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The other hand said to get Oh, I see that's together.
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The other hand said, that's how the hand talks together.
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The other hand said, and it began beating the bottle
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as well. Oh, you take that bottle, you give me
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that ketchup. I've seen this. My name is Booby, like
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I've seen this on YouTube. Fucking smack that lightning at
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hix Tube on ecstasy until some ketchup. Finally, squirt it
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out all over the table like pornus. Ketchup scored it
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off over the table. Give me a towe money shot, Booby?
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Then what? Booby then stared at the ketchup mess for
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a few seconds. This hand stared with his hand eyes,
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I guess, before turning towards the camera. Well there is
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braille as it slowly zoomed in on him. Bomb for me. Okay,
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let's go to the next show. Okay, mister bear Cellar,
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Episode twelve, mister bear Cellar. Welcome to mister bear Cellar.
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I think I think that's actually downtown for a while.
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It's a club in Toronto. Ye, next to the manhole.
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Welcome to mister bears Cellar. We all wear suspenders. My suspenders, I.
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Got a tank top. I have nipple rings. Touch them.
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Would you like some bearbecue? Very sketchy name if you
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were to look at it nowadays? Oh, this guy's rolled
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up up to date to day with it.
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You know.
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The show featured a guy wearing a bear mascot costume
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who would get a new visitor in his cellar every day.
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Come to my cellar. I'm wearing my outfits. YEA another
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thing I think I've seen you on? Are you from craigslists? Sious?
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I think I've seen this on either get Craigslist or PORNU.
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I'm wearing the outfit. I have two holes cutting I
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guess where they are. Not why you would think the
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visitor was always a kid? Oh no, I know it. This
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kind of dark. Okay, I feel bad now, shift it's real.
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The show was filmed with a camquorder, and not a
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very good one either. Five year old is such a
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fucking as the police. Don't you step up your snuff gear.
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I could barely see you choke that lady. It's not
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even cool.
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I know they're all gonna die, but at least like
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wow them with your equipment.
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We know they're gonna die. We want to soon. It's
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not an HD forgive me, where's the go pro? I
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want Killer's I view? Did they have Did they have an?
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00:14:31.879 --> 00:14:35.399
No, they didn't have HPV either, says it no wonder
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that those shows didn't go viral.
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They actually didn't have running water either. Back there, this
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is Canada. The police asked me a lot of questions
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00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:46.480
about this show. It's going on with the show. Wait,
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there's police there. Now you jumped the next sentence after
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another mack Daddy, I'm just going to rewind. The show
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00:14:56.480 --> 00:14:58.200
was filmed with the camp Quarder, and not a very
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00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:00.919
good one either with Camp quarters th The police asked
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00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:03.120
me a lot of questions about this show with the
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camp Couarder. This episode started with mister Bear sitting at
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a table playing checkers by himself. He missed that. Okay,
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you know what you can tell when someone's not right
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00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:16.000
and when they're playing checkers by themsel by themselves, just
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playing checkers at all. I didn't recognize it at first,
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but the table was the same one from Booby Booby's table.
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No, you leave Booby's table, of course, I mean they
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00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:26.960
reasoned the ship the Booby's only five minutes long.
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Bobby, get out of here. I got a film table
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on the wall to ketch up. You leave the ketchup
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on the table. We have a scene where someone gets
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shot and we leave it whilst he will use it.
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He sat there playing for a bit, you know, with himself,
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until there was a knock on the door. The camera
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was then looking up the stairs at the door. There
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00:15:51.559 --> 00:15:54.919
was another knock. Mister Bear climbed the stairs. I'm trying
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00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:57.559
to play some checkers by myself opened the door to
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reveal two young children boy.
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Lunch were getting good heard this was my uh taken
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from there.
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We go come in here and eat the polege like
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he's supposed to, and I'll hide. One was a boy
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00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:13.559
about my age. The other was a girl who looked
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about eight. She was about to be eight. Miss mister
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Bear danced in delight does the bear shuffle. I guess
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I'm about to eat this eight year old. I've been
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00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:28.360
to during one of the bar nights or the DNA,
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00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:30.399
and I've seen them in the chef dance with Delight
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by the buffet. And then he started talking to the
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kids semi colon. I couldn't hear any of them that well,
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I remember because the mics the boom was shitty. I
283
00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:45.799
guess I get you know this guy and his production values.
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00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:48.519
And mister Bear then led the kids into the cellar,
285
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which was quite dark, only lit by a small oil
286
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lamp on the table. I can't really remember that much
287
00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:58.720
more except him singing a song which I couldn't hear
288
00:16:58.840 --> 00:17:04.119
too well either. Watch because of the large bear mass
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00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:12.160
kids five room and does his and his dad him whatever?
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00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:16.559
He's just watching TV unchaperoned and he's watching these like
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00:17:16.599 --> 00:17:19.599
ship This is why enough when there are no black Canadians,
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00:17:20.279 --> 00:17:23.880
that's why they won't let them in. Wow. The episode
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00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:26.240
ended with them playing hide and seek, with the kids
294
00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:29.920
hiding in a closet and Mister Bear counting. Mister Bear
295
00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:32.119
hasn't been in the closet for a long time, has he?
296
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No?
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00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:35.519
I don't think so. Oh wait, here's another show, soup
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and spoon. Oh no, they go to get the police.
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They were there. I don't know. I don't think this
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00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:48.240
was even a show. I think it was more of
301
00:17:48.279 --> 00:17:50.200
a special movie. There was a documentary.
302
00:17:50.680 --> 00:17:55.000
He literally, he literally said something about about police.
303
00:17:55.079 --> 00:17:58.599
I think we're going to get back to setting the scene.
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00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:00.319
Did you see the pot way? He took the boon
305
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:03.279
and he put it in the soup like I was
306
00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:05.359
riveted metaph for it.
307
00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:07.440
But he took the he got the soup to his
308
00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:11.680
mouth mouth metaphor, but he ate it. All I know
309
00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:15.160
is I stopped watching Calidon Local twenty one for a
310
00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:19.000
while because I thought this show was too stupid, especially
311
00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:21.880
since Pokemon Now came on at four thirty and five o'clock.
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00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:23.119
Oh that's right, it's a Pokemon thing.
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00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:23.400
Right.
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00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:26.599
Wasn't this all why the whole word all started? The
315
00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:31.039
whole thing started with a Jamaican pornographic films like twenty this.
316
00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:34.920
It started off with a guy with dreadlocks having sex
317
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:39.079
with other men. I don't remember much of this, but
318
00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:43.640
it showed a can of soup. I had this dream once.
319
00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:45.559
I don't remember much. When there's this can of soup
320
00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:48.079
and where it went, you don't want to know. I
321
00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:50.559
couldn't sit. I've seen that video for a long time,
322
00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:53.240
porn up. I think it's still in the actually and
323
00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:56.079
it's probably ready if you want some and a spoon
324
00:18:56.640 --> 00:19:01.000
attached minnestrota swinging back and forth. I am chowdered, as
325
00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:03.920
if someone was holding them and dangling them in front
326
00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:08.759
of the camera. Waste the soup? Interestingly, I want this soup,
327
00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:09.599
don't you? Canadian?
328
00:19:09.640 --> 00:19:09.880
Boy?
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00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:13.920
Were you starve and death? You wish you had a spoon?
330
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:17.039
You wish healthcare? Yeah, you wish you had to spoon
331
00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:23.440
about the other The show was shot in a basement
332
00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:26.200
which looked just like the one used in Mister Bear.
333
00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:29.880
Cellar was the last victim shot in the basement. Those kids,
334
00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:32.319
like I said, I can't remember much. The only thing
335
00:19:32.319 --> 00:19:37.839
I can remember clearly was the end. Uh is that it?
336
00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:38.000
Now?
337
00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:44.960
Some of them get over? I hope it. It's not. Yes,
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00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:50.799
you're all double sided. The entire thanks wiki, The entire
339
00:19:50.839 --> 00:19:54.599
thing was only half an hour. And just include it
340
00:19:54.720 --> 00:19:59.680
just includes stuff. I just include staff I found stupid.
341
00:20:01.119 --> 00:20:03.680
I swear to god, this wasphood of adult swim. It
342
00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:06.160
was soup, and I saw his soup. That whole thing
343
00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:09.720
sounded like an adult swim. It was chicken poodle soup. Seriously,
344
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:14.839
why would you eat poodle soup? Just a spoon chasing
345
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:18.440
the soup around trying to eat him. This is all
346
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.160
Madnight didn't Isabella Rosselini made this movie, right, But but
347
00:20:22.279 --> 00:20:25.480
they don't want to sing soup. This spoon goes into
348
00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:28.079
this soup and they make more soups and spoons. The
349
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:30.920
ending showed a table the one from Booby on the
350
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:34.680
game Freaking table Man, and about seven kids sitting around at.
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00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:38.279
A party with this guy man soup all dame, super
352
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:41.000
party party, soup, party, soup and catch up with kids
353
00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:42.200
a bear soup.
354
00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:44.480
Oh yeah, catching up with the soup and the kids.
355
00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:47.559
Yet seven kids each of the bowl of soup in
356
00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:50.799
front of them. That's of sing and looking at the
357
00:20:50.839 --> 00:20:53.039
camera where they eating each other soup. Where they feeding
358
00:20:53.079 --> 00:20:56.200
each other the soup. Oh man, it's not that kind
359
00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:58.240
of kind of true. How do they fit seven people
360
00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:01.400
around that crappy little table, their kids against the wall?
361
00:21:01.720 --> 00:21:04.279
There's one side missing. I work in restaurants. I know
362
00:21:04.279 --> 00:21:08.359
that's not technically possible. You've got like six total without
363
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:10.400
the extra side. Well think about it though. Now think
364
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:10.880
about it though.
365
00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:13.359
And if you're framing a shot, you can't block it
366
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:15.119
with the back to the camera, so you're.
367
00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:17.559
Really really last supper thing, that's right. But no, actually
368
00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:19.160
the last supper, nobody sat on the other side of
369
00:21:19.160 --> 00:21:21.440
the table. That's just true. There's no need to. They
370
00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:23.160
all wanted to be next to each other. Gotch hands?
371
00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:25.519
Is that why I thought it was? Because on about
372
00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:27.880
the people at the ends the portrait. They're not important
373
00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:32.039
people at the ends. They were sitting and looking at
374
00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:36.039
the camera but with confused, almost frightened faces. The cameraman
375
00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:40.599
just like that, use your imaginations at home, people. The
376
00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:43.240
cameraman then held the can of soup in front of
377
00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:48.960
the kids and said soap spoons and then it just stopped.
378
00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:50.880
And then they lit fire into the spoon and cooked
379
00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:53.319
the soup up and injected it, and.
380
00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:53.839
I woke up.
381
00:21:57.960 --> 00:22:01.799
That Campbell's hives. Shoot, man, there's so much protein in here.
382
00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:05.559
Give me that Campbell's This is mister bear. It was
383
00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:08.119
summer and I hadn't watched Channel twenty one for a
384
00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:11.359
while until one day when I slept over at my
385
00:22:11.480 --> 00:22:14.400
friend's house. I decided to check it out again. My
386
00:22:14.519 --> 00:22:16.599
friend had gotten a TV in his room for his
387
00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:20.279
sixth birthday. These people run with the fast career. I
388
00:22:20.279 --> 00:22:22.480
had to wait till he was six to get a
389
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:25.480
TV in his room. And it's the future. It's the future,
390
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:29.960
a TV series. So we stayed up very late for us.
391
00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:33.519
Nine thirty was very late, and we watched TV. And
392
00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:36.839
when I remembered Channel twenty one and brought it up
393
00:22:36.920 --> 00:22:40.240
to my friend, that's a sentence. We decided to see
394
00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:42.359
if it was on, you should.
395
00:22:42.839 --> 00:22:44.559
Here's the thing, when do you write this stuff? You
396
00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:49.720
can have the creative writer, creative writing major, someone with
397
00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:51.920
the masses and creative writing. That's exactly.
398
00:22:54.480 --> 00:23:01.480
That's exactly whyous editing. When it on the internet, anyone can.
399
00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:06.160
It's happened to me, my friend. I'm like, what are
400
00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:08.440
you rhyming over my beat. Who the hell are you?
401
00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:11.759
Oh my god, your life sucks worse than mine. Yeah,
402
00:23:13.240 --> 00:23:15.119
that's why I let her read my stuff y'all all
403
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:21.519
the time. I'm available for editing after the show, so
404
00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:24.839
you know, if you need something edited, just totally money.
405
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:30.200
It is really hard. It's hard for an editor. It
406
00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:31.640
is hard for an editor because you walk down the
407
00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:33.279
street and you see all this bullshit on signs and
408
00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:35.279
it's like, well, you don't don't need a semi colon
409
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:37.480
right there. You don't even know a semi colon. Oh goodness,
410
00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:40.960
you goodness goodness. Serious people need to They don't need
411
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:42.720
to know how to write anymore. They just don't know.
412
00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:46.200
It's true. It's all. It's all emoticon pictures of farting elephant,
413
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:49.400
which I love, by the way, and I laughed, that's terrible.
414
00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:50.000
I love it.
415
00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:54.759
I love my farting elephant. Did one thing expressed everything
416
00:23:54.759 --> 00:23:58.440
I pressed? Someone actually posted a meme about it. It's like,
417
00:23:58.519 --> 00:24:00.599
wouldn't it be awesome if i'm ojis got to the
418
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.240
point where it was like hiergraphics and that's how.
419
00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:05.920
We gothics, that's what that's what's happening, and The actually
420
00:24:06.039 --> 00:24:06.240
was like.
421
00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:07.960
That's how people were talking, Like they had this thing
422
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:10.880
about like ancient Egyptians. It was like a picture, but
423
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:13.079
they had super imposed on the higerg effics like emojis
424
00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:14.839
and shit, and I was just like, oh God.
425
00:24:14.680 --> 00:24:20.880
Really confused. Face confused face, farting dog yay, yay, I
426
00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:22.759
need the farting dog one, I use I would use
427
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:27.640
that hourly. It was kind of cute. Probably hourly all right.
428
00:24:27.759 --> 00:24:30.200
So back to Channel twenty one. It was a sign
429
00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:32.440
a station. I thought, wasn't it Channel twenty one? Yeah,
430
00:24:32.440 --> 00:24:34.400
I think that's where the Dancing Canada stuff. It was
431
00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:37.599
Telemundo obviously in Canada's adult swim.
432
00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:38.079
So I don't know.
433
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:42.200
Mexicans in Canada, they're about to get some things. Keep
434
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:44.000
going the way they're going here, you're about to get
435
00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:48.720
a message. Get one, Mexicans. Me included because it's nice there.
436
00:24:49.799 --> 00:24:52.240
We decided to see if it was on always on.
437
00:24:52.839 --> 00:24:55.759
To our surprise, it was. It was most Deadly Mister
438
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:59.480
Bear Sellar Episode twenty three, Mister Bear Seller World Star
439
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:04.680
Hip Hop ball up in Mister Bear Cellar. This episode
440
00:25:04.759 --> 00:25:07.119
was entertaining for my friend and I, mainly because it
441
00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:13.599
had swearing yay you mother son of a biscuit eaten
442
00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:19.119
mother father brother bear, cellar gets blue. He works blue.
443
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:22.200
Mister Bear works blue. I'll tell you that. However, now
444
00:25:22.279 --> 00:25:24.440
when I think of the episode, I realized something was
445
00:25:24.519 --> 00:25:30.640
definitely wrong when it was filmed. They forgot to film
446
00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:33.759
it in front of that gross wall. The table's gone.
447
00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:38.000
The episode started with the camera on its side. Well,
448
00:25:38.039 --> 00:25:40.400
it was facing mister Bear. So this is what happened.
449
00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:43.359
After the end of blair Witch. Mister Bear comes out
450
00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:55.640
and this cellar, where's your life? Some syrup? You have
451
00:25:55.799 --> 00:25:58.000
no choice in the soup. So mister Bear is walking
452
00:25:58.119 --> 00:26:00.519
up the stairs to the cellar door. The camera then
453
00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:03.279
blacked out for a second, oh no, before fading in
454
00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:08.039
back upright and facing mister Bear. There's also another kid
455
00:26:08.119 --> 00:26:11.519
talking to him. But this kid looked about eleven or twelve,
456
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:15.599
like twelve step in his game up. I respect. He
457
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:17.640
was talking to mister Bear for a while. He's ready
458
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:21.240
for the older kids. Now, yep, I'm an old bear now, tyle,
459
00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:24.359
young meat, I'm tired of you young kids. He's looking
460
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:30.519
for one that can support him, support me while I hibernate. Right,
461
00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:33.000
I can't work half the year motherfucker. I need a
462
00:26:33.079 --> 00:26:37.880
cub I couldn't hear well again with the crappy cam
463
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:42.400
quarder until yeah, right, you know this kid can. He's
464
00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:44.079
like it's been at least a year. He could have
465
00:26:44.119 --> 00:26:46.480
stepped up his equipment. Yo yo kid for real dove
466
00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:49.920
until the kids started raising his voice. You're about to
467
00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:51.880
get a smack kid. The kid was saying how it
468
00:26:52.039 --> 00:26:54.960
was late, his sister had to go home. You could
469
00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:57.559
also hear more voices in the background. I remember mister
470
00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:00.480
bear clearly saying get the fuck out. You're not bite
471
00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:07.480
it with the deep voice muffled by the bear mask.
472
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:08.359
So it's actually more like.
473
00:27:14.200 --> 00:27:18.000
I haven't had my eyes. I'm angry, answered Craigslist asked,
474
00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:19.720
I were like that. I was just like a knock
475
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:27.000
on the door. Come inside, no, go away, get the fucking.
476
00:27:27.039 --> 00:27:29.319
Out in and outside and come inside, come inside and
477
00:27:29.319 --> 00:27:32.759
get the fuck out. Scary. I remember my friend and
478
00:27:32.839 --> 00:27:35.400
I looked at each other and laughed at the mention
479
00:27:35.519 --> 00:27:38.960
of the forbidden F word. Fuming wood, he said the
480
00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:44.160
fuck word. But then the episode got weirder. No yes, no, yes, okay.
481
00:27:44.359 --> 00:27:47.440
The kid began climbing the stairs before turning around and
482
00:27:47.519 --> 00:27:50.279
saying how he was going to call the police. You
483
00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:53.960
cursed at me? Bear? Are the Mounties? Yeah, exactly, they're
484
00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:58.880
gonna be The bear began breaking into a run towards
485
00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:03.759
the kid, breaking two time to eat, who started screaming
486
00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:06.880
and running as well. The camera then cut out and
487
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:09.359
that was the end of the episode. That's a cliffhanger.
488
00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:12.319
The channel then turned to static shortly after. SE's what
489
00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:14.200
I think, Tim and Eric is like, I think, I
490
00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:16.680
just don't get it. They're actually just watching Channel Z, right,
491
00:28:16.920 --> 00:28:20.759
is this live? You can't do that on television. Okay,
492
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:25.880
those are the auditions where you can't do that on televion. Exactly, Yeah, okay.
493
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:27.720
We want to make sure you're gonna make crappy music later,
494
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:31.359
so we're gonna slim you. And then alanis morset never mind,
495
00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:36.759
I don't know. I'm covered in water. Oh Booby's back,
496
00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:40.160
Booby episode forty two, Playing with Scissors, Playing with Oh
497
00:28:40.200 --> 00:28:43.559
Scissors is back? Playing with no with Okay. One rainy afternoon,
498
00:28:43.640 --> 00:28:46.480
I was bored, so I decided to watch Channel twenty one.
499
00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:50.000
When I started watching some show about a guy sitting
500
00:28:50.039 --> 00:28:52.480
in an armchair was just finishing all in the family.
501
00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:54.599
I thought this kind only remembered a couple of shows.
502
00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:57.640
I don't like people who don't like me. I can't
503
00:28:57.640 --> 00:29:00.400
do it. I've been in an armchair. I'm racing. Said, hell,
504
00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:06.400
I'm funny. He said, it's such an asshole. Shut up?
505
00:29:07.880 --> 00:29:13.160
What that day? That's pretty good right there. When I
506
00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:15.799
first saw this episode, I thought it was for teenagers
507
00:29:15.880 --> 00:29:21.680
because it had blood in it, like for menstruating teenagers?
508
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:23.000
Is that never what?
509
00:29:23.400 --> 00:29:26.319
I found his flower in my underwear, that it was
510
00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:28.240
a garden. You don't know. I don't know what year
511
00:29:28.279 --> 00:29:29.920
it is now. Is this still nineteen ninety nine? But
512
00:29:29.960 --> 00:29:32.960
he's like getting older? I think so he's getting Oh right,
513
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:36.039
so I have blood in it. It was very gross. Okay, okay,
514
00:29:37.079 --> 00:29:41.119
the police told me everything I now know. In the beginning,
515
00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:46.160
there was nothing. Can you skip ahead, please? I now know?
516
00:29:46.559 --> 00:29:49.160
And then God moved his face along some water, and
517
00:29:49.319 --> 00:29:52.680
now your parents are dead. I now know who the
518
00:29:52.839 --> 00:29:58.039
blood belonged to. The episode showed Booby and another hand
519
00:29:58.240 --> 00:30:02.039
with a ribbon around it, the pink finger Booby's girlfriend.
520
00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:05.279
Oh no, wait, the hand has a girlfriend. Oh, they
521
00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:07.599
get down all the time. You've seen that episode. It's freaky.
522
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:10.000
It's like basket case two. Think a hand is there
523
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:13.000
because you don't have a girlfriend, right, I know Booby
524
00:30:13.119 --> 00:30:16.200
was holding scissors and hopping around back and forth. You're
525
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:19.680
not supposed to do that with scissors, especially when you
526
00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:22.440
were only a hand. That's right. Why do you think
527
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:25.079
you lost the rest of them? Seriously, that was a bad,
528
00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:28.160
bad day. That was a bad fall down the stairs
529
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:33.640
that day with the scissors. Scissors. Oh my body, it's
530
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:37.519
going I lost my body Booby. Okay, so Booby's holding
531
00:30:37.519 --> 00:30:40.240
these scissors, hopping around back and forth. It was not safe. Well,
532
00:30:40.279 --> 00:30:46.519
his girlfriend slowly swung around aimlessly. Another hand shot into
533
00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:49.480
the scene. How many hands are they? So many hands hands,
534
00:30:49.559 --> 00:30:54.039
Christian Andersen, It's like that scene and repulsion. Oh no, no, don't.
535
00:30:54.359 --> 00:30:57.440
Another hand shot into the seed. This hand was smaller, though,
536
00:30:58.039 --> 00:31:04.200
and was jerking around violently. Not the small jerking it
537
00:31:04.319 --> 00:31:08.200
if someone under the table was forcing the hand, and
538
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:11.759
I later found out that was the case. Scissors are
539
00:31:11.960 --> 00:31:15.519
very dangerous kids to hold them safely. There was there
540
00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:17.240
was something attached to the hand in the first place,
541
00:31:17.319 --> 00:31:19.000
Like there was someone controlling the hand, is what you're
542
00:31:19.039 --> 00:31:23.000
telling Yeah, you like there was a puppet. There was
543
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:27.720
a puppet controlling the hand. Booby said to the camera, Oh,
544
00:31:28.079 --> 00:31:30.799
scissors are very dangerous, kids, so hold them safely. Booby
545
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:33.920
said to the camera, I noticed I could also hear
546
00:31:34.039 --> 00:31:38.279
muffled screams. I just noticed that, but I wasn't sure
547
00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:42.000
where it was coming from because of the bad sound quality.
548
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:46.960
Maybe I could say somebody's life. If you had a
549
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:51.119
better camera, that's all I'm saying. Better, a better sound mix.
550
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:53.440
You had a better sound mix, someone might still be alive.
551
00:31:54.039 --> 00:31:58.920
Booby's girlfriend grabbed the smaller hand, which was thrashing about,
552
00:31:59.400 --> 00:32:02.880
and Booby went at it with scissors. He started with
553
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:07.000
the thumb thumb. He opened the scissors wide and clasped
554
00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:11.759
them onto the thumb. Blood began oozing out, and the
555
00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:14.839
muffled screams were now very loud. How come you don't
556
00:32:14.839 --> 00:32:17.720
want to watch your kids shows anymore, Darling? No, just
557
00:32:17.799 --> 00:32:20.960
mommy has one watch just ooze out like that. You
558
00:32:21.079 --> 00:32:23.960
just watched Booby while mommy cooks breakfast. Okay, they'll probably
559
00:32:23.960 --> 00:32:27.079
squored out. You get an artery in the thumb.
560
00:32:27.519 --> 00:32:31.000
Yeah, that's why you can't. Yeah, because you can't, because
561
00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:32.519
you have your thumb as a pulse in it. That's
562
00:32:32.519 --> 00:32:34.559
why you can't. You can't use your thumb to find
563
00:32:34.599 --> 00:32:37.160
your pulse in your on your necks.
564
00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:40.119
It's not an artery. There's not an artery, but you
565
00:32:40.200 --> 00:32:41.720
have a you can fill a pulse in it. It's
566
00:32:41.720 --> 00:32:43.799
not that artery. But if you've got your you got
567
00:32:43.839 --> 00:32:47.119
your thumb, it'll it'll be squirting square. Okay, so there's
568
00:32:47.160 --> 00:32:53.119
like blood square. My five year old self was very
569
00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:57.359
grossed out, and that's when I decided, existentially, I love it.
570
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:00.519
My five I was so aware that point. I knew
571
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:02.039
my five year old self was freaking out, but my
572
00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:04.519
use yourself was like, that's normal. Yeah, yourself like that.
573
00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:07.880
That's a long ever happens Cannada. Yeah, we're in Canada.
574
00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:12.480
We're prepared for that. Maybe Booby was a show meant
575
00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:15.279
for teenagers or grown ups, because you know all those
576
00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:17.319
shows about people cutting their thumbs off. You watch those
577
00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:18.880
grown up shows where they just like cut each other's
578
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:22.759
thumbs off all the time Netflix, it is on Telemoondo.
579
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:28.599
Then the scissors got to the bone those models. A
580
00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:32.200
horrible crunching noise was heard. That's when I turned the
581
00:33:32.319 --> 00:33:35.720
TV off. I never discussed it with my dad because
582
00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:38.559
I feared he would limit my TV time. That's smart kid,
583
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:41.759
smart bucking kid right there. Hey, I saw something really horrible,
584
00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:44.039
but don't tell me not to watch anymore. Please. TV
585
00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:46.079
told me not to tell anyone. Tell me to put
586
00:33:46.079 --> 00:33:49.440
glass in your food? How is it as it tasty?
587
00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:52.480
Does it taste like glass? Yummy? Yummy? Don't battle anyone
588
00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:55.839
where he touched you? Oh, grow touch you again. I
589
00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:58.920
didn't want to watch again. I didn't want to watch
590
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:02.799
Channel twenty one after that booby episode. It sounds like
591
00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:09.039
Spanish television every he does. Actually tell him this, he's
592
00:34:09.079 --> 00:34:12.920
actually watching Manos Hands of Feet, Middle get Us, Mita, Mita.
593
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:18.079
In August, I grew more curious to see mister Bear's
594
00:34:18.119 --> 00:34:21.519
cellar for some reason, though that because he's gay. I'm
595
00:34:21.559 --> 00:34:23.599
ready to see me a seller now, mister Bear. We
596
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:25.920
wants that bear. Take me in that dungeon, put me
597
00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:28.519
in that swing, mister Bear. I'd been intrigued too. The
598
00:34:28.639 --> 00:34:32.440
last episode I saw mister Bear was weird and he
599
00:34:32.599 --> 00:34:35.320
had swearing, which also made me think that the show
600
00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:38.039
was meant for teenagers. You know those teenagers and swearing
601
00:34:38.119 --> 00:34:41.599
swearing five or six or whatever. No one swears more
602
00:34:41.639 --> 00:34:45.280
than six year old kids. Honestly, nonetheless, I flipped into
603
00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:48.480
channel twenty one when my dad was busy. Mister Bear
604
00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:51.920
sellar episode twenty eight. Apparently this episode had been playing
605
00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:56.559
the entire month of August. Wait what I need to
606
00:34:56.599 --> 00:34:59.159
get caught up on this month long episode? Wait what
607
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:03.159
I'll be binge watching mister Bear sell This kid can't
608
00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:05.559
beIN watched binge watch it. They didn't have Netflix in
609
00:35:05.599 --> 00:35:09.000
nineteen ninety nine. Fuck ninety nine. It was studied a
610
00:35:09.079 --> 00:35:12.679
lot by the police. The entire episode was just mister
611
00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:16.920
Bear sitting in a chair talking to the audience. That's
612
00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:19.400
why I did it, kids, That's why I became a
613
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:22.639
bear and entertain you. This is like a public access channel.
614
00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:25.920
Vision went on for a month and then didn't stop.
615
00:35:26.039 --> 00:35:31.920
What entertained your children? And you won't let me hello close?
616
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:36.320
Do you want to res up my cellar? See I don't.
617
00:35:36.360 --> 00:35:36.599
I don't.
618
00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:40.480
Mister Bear does not waiting for your door. Please write
619
00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:43.239
to me that letter at this address. Write in your
620
00:35:43.239 --> 00:35:46.159
own blood. See he gave his address out to this
621
00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:50.559
is my salaridre. The screen then switched to a white
622
00:35:50.599 --> 00:35:54.079
screen with multicolored letters reading the address, And that was
623
00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:56.800
what remained for the rest of the episode.
624
00:35:56.400 --> 00:36:01.760
Six x six hel Avenue Basement. So this guy, if
625
00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:03.800
he's fucking with people, he gave his address, come to
626
00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:04.320
my basement.
627
00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:08.239
And guess what I actually did. I said, mister Bear
628
00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:11.239
or that sick bastard to portray him a letter and
629
00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:14.079
my underwear does it really stay sick bastard? I mean
630
00:36:14.199 --> 00:36:16.920
I I just read the word. I just sent him
631
00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:19.199
his underwear. I never learned how to read it. Actually,
632
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:20.760
I would have been intrigued.
633
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:21.320
I knew it.
634
00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:24.119
I would have What did you say? She's making all
635
00:36:24.159 --> 00:36:27.320
this up? I knew it. It's totally not true because
636
00:36:27.320 --> 00:36:29.519
it's like, why would you say that sick bastard? Because
637
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:34.440
because mister Bear had a cold. Oh and he didn't.
638
00:36:34.679 --> 00:36:37.440
And he also never had a father. So no, we're
639
00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:38.840
dealing in technical terms.
640
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:41.280
Yeah, my immersion is is his mom is waning only
641
00:36:41.360 --> 00:36:43.280
because how the fuck did this kid get stamps?
642
00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:48.599
You're right, fuck this story the stamps Jesus because he
643
00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:50.840
went to stamps dot Com. Let's think our sponsor. Is
644
00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:51.920
there any stamps dot Com?
645
00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:52.199
Yet?
646
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:55.920
It probably is weak. There is the sponsor. I know
647
00:36:55.960 --> 00:36:58.039
there's the stamps dot Com. But I mean in the
648
00:36:58.119 --> 00:37:01.880
Future in ninety nine. Others just stamps, you know when
649
00:37:02.280 --> 00:37:08.920
stamps dot Net stamps at fire fire al Al, that's
650
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:16.039
where I was. You have stamps. I did it out
651
00:37:16.079 --> 00:37:18.320
of curiosity. Mostly I did it. I did it all
652
00:37:18.360 --> 00:37:20.440
the time. I did it because I was curious. My
653
00:37:20.599 --> 00:37:22.679
dad was okay with it. He want to do it.
654
00:37:22.760 --> 00:37:26.280
I don't know why Legit kids show. And then again
655
00:37:26.760 --> 00:37:29.800
he never saw any of what was on Channel twenty one.
656
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:33.119
So I wrote a letter using my best writing possible.
657
00:37:33.679 --> 00:37:35.880
I think I just said how I wanted to meet
658
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:38.920
mister Bear. Hell, I want to meet mister Bay. I
659
00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:41.480
want to meet you so bad. And if Booby also
660
00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:46.679
lived in the cud, they all live down in the cellar.
661
00:37:46.840 --> 00:37:48.760
Oh next to that green wall, we'll have a potty.
662
00:37:49.239 --> 00:37:51.519
So my dad sent the letter to the address mister
663
00:37:51.559 --> 00:37:55.000
Bear said on the show. It stayed on all day
664
00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:59.800
anywhere for some reason. Okay, okay, man, now he's lost
665
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:03.079
me that the grammar was just now. That happens to
666
00:38:03.159 --> 00:38:05.079
me a lot. I know, I've heard, I've heard you.
667
00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:08.840
I I just I just don't wanted to think that
668
00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:12.800
it's because I'm impaired. Other things are because I'm impaired.
669
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:16.159
But not that not that.
670
00:38:16.639 --> 00:38:19.000
It took about a week to get a response, which
671
00:38:19.039 --> 00:38:21.800
I was surprised I did. I still have the letter
672
00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:28.400
I received August fifteenth, nineteen ninety nine. The letter read
673
00:38:29.679 --> 00:38:30.719
a lots.
674
00:38:32.039 --> 00:38:42.079
That voice voice, dear stupid kid, your face imbrasement.
675
00:38:42.519 --> 00:38:45.239
Ah, there's a hole in the front. You bring your
676
00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:49.159
dad to I know him already. Thank you ever so
677
00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:52.519
much for your letter. Tickle my buttole kid, I would
678
00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:56.440
lot to have her in my cellar if you I'd
679
00:38:56.519 --> 00:39:00.440
like to have you in my fruit setter bugged to
680
00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:05.920
watch marbles on garfire camping, fire camping camping. Fire camping
681
00:39:06.039 --> 00:39:10.119
is uh fire fire camping can Ian style in the
682
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:11.840
middle you light yourself on fire and they have to
683
00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:15.800
pee on you to put it out. That I'll buy it. Yeah,
684
00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:20.320
house on fire, house on fire, showers, flame throwers and yes, Booby,
685
00:39:20.559 --> 00:39:22.280
that was a little bit my salar. He's a good
686
00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:25.960
friend or mile come to my house at the police
687
00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:29.599
cut out this part of the address. Catle do On, Ontario, California.
688
00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:32.360
I look very much. Words you're having found with you.
689
00:39:33.880 --> 00:39:37.320
You should have put like a like brackets instead redacted
690
00:39:39.480 --> 00:39:45.320
awesome redacted reacted So Canadian c I A on this
691
00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:47.480
bitch the mountains.
692
00:39:47.480 --> 00:39:53.199
They're not that smart. They have the A files. It
693
00:39:53.360 --> 00:39:58.440
just says over over, I want to exit them, would
694
00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:01.360
give them health care. C retally believe in. I cannot
695
00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:04.280
believe my dad never found this sketchy because he actually
696
00:40:04.360 --> 00:40:06.599
took me to the house. Your dad is a champion,
697
00:40:06.599 --> 00:40:07.880
and then he went around back and put on a
698
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:10.679
bear outfit. Her dad wanted to get you out of
699
00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:12.480
the house. We could have gay. Yeah, fine, go ahead,
700
00:40:12.519 --> 00:40:14.000
have sex with the bear guy. I got stu. I
701
00:40:14.039 --> 00:40:15.960
want to go bowling. You go ahead, you have fun.
702
00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:19.280
And then that's protection. To bring a gun for protection.
703
00:40:19.880 --> 00:40:23.840
That's when the police became involved, those endless questions, those
704
00:40:23.920 --> 00:40:28.679
sextures of terrified kids, the woods, the top dot all
705
00:40:28.719 --> 00:40:30.559
the cop sext No, we have a change of location.
706
00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:33.960
They're actually bears in cop costumes. That's what's really that's awesome.
707
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:36.360
It's getting deep in those But I'm seriously, I think
708
00:40:36.360 --> 00:40:37.400
you're gonna have a change of location.
709
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:37.840
You think?
710
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:40.320
I was like, because if I'm gonna make this, like,
711
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:42.280
if you want to make this into a Netflix show,
712
00:40:43.119 --> 00:40:44.119
can we already have two?
713
00:40:44.519 --> 00:40:47.119
Well, we have location. We have so far, we have
714
00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:49.960
the house. We have the basement. With the basement, we
715
00:40:50.079 --> 00:40:50.559
have the kids.
716
00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:52.960
We need a table that's good to put that in
717
00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:54.960
the we have the friends room. We just need to
718
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:58.519
find a crappy tables one house then, I guess, because
719
00:40:58.559 --> 00:40:59.800
if we have we get a house that has a
720
00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:01.039
never mind we did.
721
00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:03.719
This later, we'll just shoot it at Andrews. Okay. That
722
00:41:03.880 --> 00:41:06.599
brings me to why I'm writing this blog. Are we
723
00:41:06.639 --> 00:41:11.599
reading a blog, thank fucking Christ, where that psycho and
724
00:41:11.679 --> 00:41:16.159
his friend did some fucked up ship back then? Are
725
00:41:16.199 --> 00:41:19.239
you seriously? Now? It seems he's trying to get into
726
00:41:19.320 --> 00:41:22.920
contact with me again. The entire police thing is coming
727
00:41:23.039 --> 00:41:26.360
back round two. That has brought nineteen ninety nine back
728
00:41:26.400 --> 00:41:29.559
to me over a decade later. It's happening again. So
729
00:41:29.679 --> 00:41:34.920
it's even farther two thousand and nine Elliott Elliott escaped
730
00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:39.159
like got away? Is that it lot? Wow? And that's
731
00:41:39.199 --> 00:41:43.800
where it ends, right, That's where I'm ending it. We
732
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:46.239
can end it there if you want to. I'm sorry,
733
00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:50.880
I don't know what God it can be done with that.
734
00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:53.679
It's just silly. That was a weird one because it's
735
00:41:53.719 --> 00:41:56.840
just like this leading up to it. It's about the process.
736
00:41:57.199 --> 00:41:58.840
I get it. I trust me. I guess is that
737
00:41:58.880 --> 00:42:00.519
what the story's about. I thought it about man's in
738
00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:06.400
humanity to bear? No, that's for Ketchup. Ketchup is not
739
00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:09.559
a vegetable. That's what tusk is about. I could see it.
740
00:42:10.639 --> 00:42:13.639
All I know is I wow. Just all that lead
741
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:16.679
lead up and then so it doesn't take place in
742
00:42:16.719 --> 00:42:19.280
ninety ninety nine. It takes place in two thousand and nine.
743
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:21.800
If you're interested, there's only twenty one pages left. Yeah,
744
00:42:21.800 --> 00:42:26.920
I'm good, okay, okay, all right, everybye, thank you, all right, No,
745
00:42:27.079 --> 00:42:30.840
that's that's it. That's all round. Okay, ketch us on
746
00:42:30.960 --> 00:42:34.039
Channel twenty one. You've totally been thoroughly entertained. We entertained
747
00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:36.039
the living hell out of you. And now that's why
748
00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:37.440
I can't go to Canada. Time for you to send.
749
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:40.199
There's lots of money. I'm mister bear. I brought to
750
00:42:40.280 --> 00:42:41.039
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