Coleen Greco:
The Joy Unleashed show empowers and inspires women to reclaim their joy. We provide tools, resources and connections to help you unlock your true potential. Through engaging conversation, expert insights and transformative stories. We create a vibrant and inclusive community where women can break free from the limitations that hold them back. I'm Joyologist, Coleen Greco and it is my honor to be your host. Let's get right into the show.
If you feel like you're stuck, if you feel like you don't quite know your purpose, or maybe you know it, but you just can't find the path toward it. If you're uncomfortable in your own skin and want to finally master self love, then we need to talk. I'm Coleen Greco and I'm your Joyologist. I help women just like you to reclaim the joy they feel is missing in their life through mindset coaching and nutrition coaching. Whether you have weight to lose or simply need to get your gut in check. I've got to work together to retire limiting beliefs. Those are the stories that are keeping you from your purpose. I need you to hear me. Those are the stories that we need to get rid of in order to get you on your path to your purpose. We will work together to get you that life you've always dreamed up. It would be my honor to connect with you, reach out to me via Instagram at @thecoleengreco or email me at coleen@coleengreco.com Let's get you back to the show.
Coleen Greco
Welcome back to another edition of Joy Unleashed. I'm Coleen Greco, your humble host and resident Joyologist. Today, I am so excited to welcome Dr. Su Suresh to the show. Hello, Dr. Su. So happy you're here today.
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, I'm so excited to be here too, Coleen. How are you doing?
Coleen Greco
I'm doing well, but I think you might be doing a little bit better because you're calling in today from
Dr Su Suresh
Sydney, Australia.
Coleen Greco
Ok, you win. I haven't been there yet. I had a trip that took me to Thailand and for some reason, I felt like I was so close. It was like I was in the backyard. It was, what, six more hours of flying or something and I didn't do it. So you win.
Dr Su Suresh
No, I mean, it’s pretty close. Far East Asia is very close to Australia, but it's such a big country. I moved from India to Australia about four years ago, and there’s so much to explore. It’s just as vast as the US. I’m just getting started to explore the east and west coast, and it’s exciting to be here.
Coleen Greco
Well, if I make it that far, I will look you up for sure. Do the audience a favor by just giving them an idea of who you are and what we're going to talk about today.
Dr Su Suresh
Sure. Hi everyone, my name is Dr. Su Suresh. I am a pediatrician and I am working here in the hospital as a medical doctor. But a few years ago, I experienced severe burnout in my work, life, and health. All the big major slices of life, as I like to call it. That was a big wake-up call for me to see if I was actually doing things the way I was meant to be doing them or the way that I wanted to be doing them. That’s when I took on this journey of self-discovery, going inside and learning so much about myself, how we work, how our minds work, and where our sole purpose is. How it can actually lead us to our goals and dreams. So that's the journey I've been on, and it's super exciting. So much so that I am training in another specialty now. I’m soon to commence about five years of intense training in physical medicine and rehabilitation, and I’m pretty excited about it. In the meanwhile, I work as a life coach and a professional mentor where I take my students and my clients through NLP and hypnosis to reveal all the unconscious and limiting beliefs that we have. This pushes us even more effortlessly into our big purpose of life.
Coleen Greco
I love it. I can relate on quite a few levels. I’d love to just double-click on the fact that we sort of covered this when we first met. You were kind of doing the things that you were supposed to be doing, right? People felt that you would make a really good physician, so you went down that path. But quickly realized that might be slightly out of alignment with what you felt your purpose truly was. Is that a fair assessment that you were following the recipe that somebody else had laid out for you?
Dr Su Suresh
Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s about the recipe that brought in a lot of external validation. It brought in a lot of accolades from the outside and it felt good to say it, but it felt empty on the inside. But I was too busy to think about the inside. It was the outside that mattered at that time. Yes, you’re right. It was a lot about the external, maybe people-pleasing. That was a big factor, especially growing up as women. We find a lot of that happening. You’re right on that, Coleen.
Coleen Greco
As you were doing your residency, your training, and now in the workforce as a practicing pediatrician, at some point you hit burnout. Have you had cues or moments where you thought, “I don’t know if this is it,” or did it just all hit you kind at once?
Dr Su Suresh
Such a good question. First, I'll talk about what happened in my life and then what I feel generally happens that we sometimes overlook. For me, it was a lot of cues and gut. When I was working, it was a lot of intense work and long hours, but not the kind of work, the amount of internal energy I put into work made everything feel like a drag. So it was not just my career; my health suffered, my relationship with my husband was suffering, and my close family and friends. I just refused to see it because I was thinking, “Well, I’ve got to just get on with it.”
Life is going to be this way. I can't be a sissy and just stop and stop tracks and change when I've come such a long way. You know, It's these sorts of thoughts that just force you to not stop and reflect and review. And this made me actually really sort of, when I felt better, and you know, we go through that afterwards as well. But I think life gives us change and growth. I feel that the only people who don't have any challenge in life or who don't want any sort of change in life are either not here on earth itself, either they're in heaven or buried in the graveyard. Human life is very dynamic. There's a lot of change being offered, and there are two ways to take this change.
Reverend Michael Beckwith talks about it so much that, you know, you could change through insight or through pain. The insightful, spiritual sort of people, the very mindful people who we all hope to be one day, change through insight. They know they're like, “Oh, this is not working. Review, reflect, see where I want to go, hire a joyologist or hire a life coach, and see where life needs to be taking them through and what actually brings them joy in life.” Verses when life just kicks you in the ass, like me. It kicked me. I had a terrible ectopic pregnancy in the middle of my workday when I had severe abdominal cramps.
I said, “Oh, I'm too busy. I'm supposed to be working as a pediatric E D doctor. I can't present as a patient. I mean, who will do my work then, right now?” This sort of false belief that the whole world rests on my shoulders. There was so much that I had to present as a patient rather than as a doctor. I went in and I was immediately categorized as a category two. That means my vitals were unstable, indicating a lot of internal bleeding. So that’s when they tried emergency surgery to remove one of my fallopian tubes because it was a pregnancy that was happening in the wrong location. That was a wake-up call for me. I hope that men and women all around the world listen to the cues and not wait for the painful moment to force life to stop and reflect and review.
So I think that was a big wake-up call for me that I hope what I would like to take from that life lesson was to change from insight rather than pain. So these are Japanese Buddhist terminologies, Kensho and Satori. Instead of changing through pain, to change through insight.
Coleen Greco
First of all, I don't want to step over the fact that you had a loss, and I'm sincerely sorry for that. And I think that is a really powerful experience. I want to make sure people understand that the number one occupation that I deal with amazing doctors and nurses, the people that maybe should know better, but they just don't. They're so wrapped up in the things that they're doing for other people, and maybe it's better to categorize these people as in service to others, but the absolute worst to themselves by far. And so it doesn't surprise me that it took, I like to call it my frying pan over the head moment. You have to get knocked sideways. That's what it takes, I think, for people to wake up sometimes. Now in hindsight, in retrospect, did you have cues that you now can see but then had ignored? They were kind of telling you, “I think this crash is coming. Like the train is coming straight towards you. You better make a turn.”
Dr. Su Suresh
Oh, yes. I think retrospectively now that we have the gift of the retrospectoscope, I think there was a lot. My mental health was declining, and my days off from work were just the worst. I had a lot of anxiety pulling into work.
There was a lot of conflicts with me and, you know, my close family and friends. I think these sort of things were really big red flags for me to actually stop and say that, okay, I think I need to change the way my journey is going. But there were big red flags that were getting louder and louder. First, initially, it was a lot of anxiety about going to work or getting extremely tired after a workday. Fine, that's normal; everybody might experience that. But then that got louder and louder, in that my mental health deteriorated, complete lack of energy, a lot of anxiety building up, and depression on the days when I finally had time to think about it. And things like a lot of conflicts which were not resolving, that I was not interested in resolving, and felt like there were a lot of things that I chose to ignore, just hide under the carpet, which I think just kept building up and up and up until it just exploded.
So, I think life does give us nudges and clues. Even if these are softer ones, just, you know, things. That's what I'm learning about, especially about people being mirrors. Whatever goes on within us is a lot of what is projected outside. The internal conflicts within me were projected as external conflicts with almost everybody I knew. There was a lot of incongruity with everything that I was doing. And it just felt like it was not congruent. I wanted to be this person, and I started looking in the middle of COVID, and there was a lot of influx of wellness, or pseudo-wellness, because I think that was the only thing that people could get their hands on at that time. And I felt like there was a lot of comparison, and everything for me, and yeah, it just blew up. But there were signs, there were big, strong signs that I chose to ignore, unfortunately.
Coleen Greco
Well, myself included. So there's no shame in that, but I want to make sure that for the folks that are tuning in, you understand that all of these symptoms, like these conflicts or lack of energy, the story that then goes on in your head is, "I should be able to handle this. I am stronger than this. This is crazy that I don't have this kind of energy." And that is like, so not the truth. Your body is showing you in ways that it thinks you will be able to hear it, and then you kind of misread it and stuff it away somewhere, but none of those signals are signs of weakness. And I know you didn't say that, but we all think it of ourselves. So, I just want to make sure people understand when you feel like you are out of gas, it's time to stop. It's not time to forge ahead. And I think especially as women, we feel like that's the time when we double down and work even harder, and that's so bad for your immune system, your adrenals. Like everything suffers. So, thank you for sharing that.
But at some point now, you know, you've had the ectopic pregnancy. Is that when you started to evaluate like, is this what I should be doing with my life? Or what was kind of like your thought process as you realized, I'm a little off from what my purpose is?
Dr Su Suresh
Well, for me, it was definitely. I think that was the first time that I actually had to sit in one place and could not do much physically, not do much mentally. But mentally, I was like, I go to what? What is this? Why am I taking time off? The universe was like, you're going to sit down and deal with this and do the uncomfortable things of, of yes, you have been doing that. So, yeah, I mean, yeah. It was all of a sudden, obviously, I did have a bit of physical signs that I chose to ignore, and then this happened, and I was in the emergency, and the surgery had to happen, and then quickly came back home, and I was like, oh, the pain of just the physical pain itself was so much that I couldn't do much. So much so that I had to rely on my husband to sort of deal with, you know, just taking care of me. And, you know, just, I think that was a time when we became kinder to each other because we had time as well. I mean, actually, I had time to actually be in a place and sort of see and reflect where I was going. And that was the time when I had this maybe a flick of thought that, you know what? I don't know if I eventually, after I feel better, that I'm excited or happy to be going to work. And that's when I realized that. Of course, it came with a full gush of, oh my God, I've spent decades doing this. This is the only thing I know. What else? That's the fear of the unknown, which everybody has. Right. But we don't know what exactly is there in front of us that we could take the route that we could take. But we always think about the past so much, and you know, that gush of fear and insecurity. Oh, what else? I don't think I'm qualified to do anything else. I mean, this is the only thing I know, and just dealing with this all by myself is just the most scariest thing. I feel that's why we humans thrive in a community, especially in nuclear families, in the where we're living isolated parts of, of, of, you know, we choose sometimes to be a bit isolated from others that we don't actually share our vulnerabilities. And I think that is something that is a bit of a problem that, you know, at least to share it with somebody, close somebody safe or hire someone. And I feel I think being with a therapist and a life coach really changed my life because I don't think I could have done this by myself. Even if I could, it would have taken me years and years, maybe a decade to actually be where I am now, you know, having a coach or a therapist to actually take you through the process of what, where, see, see, see, to see your blind spots and you know, to see your unconscious beliefs and to bring that into the light, into the spotlight. That is so powerful and sometimes takes a professional like you and me to actually help another person.
Coleen Greco
Yeah, what do you reckon we—
Well, so one of the defining, I don't know, phrases, I guess I'd call it during my journey was "trouble is your transportation." And I held onto that. I don't know why it hit me between the eyes, obviously because I needed to learn it. But I held onto that like it was like I white knuckled it until I finally believed that. I repeated that phrase millions of times until it eventually does lead you to a bigger, brighter, more beautiful place.
But it doesn't feel like that, you know, as you're sitting in your hospital room and mourning, right? That is not, you can't see the beauty. But you know, to your point about the retroscope, you have the ability to look back and say, "Wow, I needed to learn these things in order to be where I am today," and that life happens for you, not to you. And so I love that you've now, you know, taken your trauma and turned it into your calling. You found your calling and your purpose from it. So, I'd love to make sure you tell us a little bit about this Juicy Tidbit. You're offering a free ebook called Get More Time. So tell us a little bit about what we can find when we visit. And we'll have everything in the show notes as well. But if somebody goes to that landing page, what are they gonna see?
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, so I think a lot of us are high achievers and sometimes the thing that trips us the most is that we don't have time. We wish we had more time. We have a child to take care of or a full-time career. I wish I had more time, and then I would take that dance class or go to a dating profile or, you know, things like that. This thought really trips us up so much so that it takes so much of our time and our mental space that it actually holds us back from actually trying to do anything. So this is an ebook that I've put together. It is a fantastic 10-page ebook just for busy people. It talks about how time management is like energy management. And once you manage your energy, is when you feel that there's more time to do whatever you want to do. So, to get more clarity as well about what really is important for that person to be done, prioritize, and then go for it. So, this is what I've kept. It's a very succinct 10-page ebook that is available for free on my Instagram link or the link down in show notes, and it's gonna be super valuable, I think.
Coleen Greco
Oh, I love it. And your Instagram, because I don't want to forget to, a lot of times I forget to do this until the end because it do involve in the conversation. So I'm glad you said it because I would have waited another several minutes. You can definitely follow Su on Instagram @dr.supraja.suresh. And it's @dr.supraja.suresh. And we'll have that in the show notes too. You have a lot of great content, by the way, on Instagram. Give us a little tidbit of what we might find when we visit.
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, so you'll find a lot of hacks on how to be more insightful and how to put your best foot forward when you get up in the day. I'm all about getting up early, doing stuff, getting stuff done, and it's all about being multi passionate as well. I mean, I feel that so many of us, especially as women, we can take on projects more easily and effortlessly. So it's all about being multi passionate, going for your goals, and getting life hacks on things that you can implement immediately. So yes, that's what you'll find on my Instagram.
Coleen Greco
Now, my favorite, and I have to bleep it or I'll have to pay a fine, is "why should you give a bleep about your time?" If that doesn't summarize like a Boston statement, I don't know. It does. I was like, oh, I like that. Let's play that one later. "Why did you give a bleep? It's the four-letter F word about your time."
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, yes. That's a good idea.
Coleen Greco
What would you like to make sure that the listeners walk away with today? Maybe a few helpful tidbits as they get back to their day.
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, so good. I think I'd love to remind the lovely listeners that it's always good to keep reviewing, maybe at least once a month or once a fortnight, to see if you're following the things that bring you joy, the things that you're excited to learn about. I'm not saying that the journey may not involve hard work, but the only question that you need to sometimes ask yourself once in a while is, are you happy with your progress in your journey, whether it's your career journey, your romantic journey, or your fitness journey? If you're not, there's something that you need to sit and change, change the way you do it, or change the way you think about it. Yeah. So yeah, I would love to keep it short and simple that way.
Coleen Greco
Yes, I think that's brilliant advice actually. Thank you for saying that because I think a lot of people will maybe end their day with a difficult phone call and say like, "I had a lousy day." No, you didn't. You had a difficult phone call at the end of the day. But the seven or eight hours before that actually went quite well.
It's really important to impress upon people to be mindful of the language they use and the timeframe they mention because that stuff gets reprogrammed into your ego and served up to you as a story. You will tell yourself over and over again that you had a bad day when maybe you had a difficult moment or series of moments. That can really take a toll on your mental health in the long term.
Dr Su Suresh
Absolutely. I love what you said about being mindful of the language we use, especially towards ourselves. It's so true.
Coleen Greco
Yes, I love that. Dr. Su, it's been a pleasure having you on the show today. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and for sharing your journey, which I know is so precious. I very much agree with you. We have to get vulnerable if we all want to collectively change—it really takes a village. I'm thrilled that you were able to be on today.
Dr Su Suresh
Thank you for having me, Coleen. It's lovely to be here. Thank you.
Coleen Greco
And that was our latest episode of Joy Unleashed. Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you never miss an episode.
Well, that was a great episode with Dr. Su. At the end, we talked about being really intentional and careful about the language that you use and the things that you're saying.
We discussed how you might have a difficult conversation towards the end of the day and then get home and tell your significant other, "Oh, I had a lousy day." No, you didn't. You had a lousy several minutes. Don't let that take over your day.
Be very careful about the language you're using because your body is absorbing that, recalling it, and will identify future days that are pretty similar as the same. So, be really careful and above all else, always ground yourself in joy.
The Joy Unleashed show empowers and inspires women to reclaim their joy. We provide tools, resources and connections to help you unlock your true potential. Through engaging conversation, expert insights and transformative stories. We create a vibrant and inclusive community where women can break free from the limitations that hold them back. I'm Joyologist, Coleen Greco and it is my honor to be your host. Let's get right into the show.
If you feel like you're stuck, if you feel like you don't quite know your purpose, or maybe you know it, but you just can't find the path toward it. If you're uncomfortable in your own skin and want to finally master self love, then we need to talk. I'm Coleen Greco and I'm your Joyologist. I help women just like you to reclaim the joy they feel is missing in their life through mindset coaching and nutrition coaching. Whether you have weight to lose or simply need to get your gut in check. I've got to work together to retire limiting beliefs. Those are the stories that are keeping you from your purpose. I need you to hear me. Those are the stories that we need to get rid of in order to get you on your path to your purpose. We will work together to get you that life you've always dreamed up. It would be my honor to connect with you, reach out to me via Instagram at @thecoleengreco or email me at coleen@coleengreco.com Let's get you back to the show.
Coleen Greco
Welcome back to another edition of Joy Unleashed. I'm Coleen Greco, your humble host and resident Joyologist. Today, I am so excited to welcome Dr. Su Suresh to the show. Hello, Dr. Su. So happy you're here today.
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, I'm so excited to be here too, Coleen. How are you doing?
Coleen Greco
I'm doing well, but I think you might be doing a little bit better because you're calling in today from
Dr Su Suresh
Sydney, Australia.
Coleen Greco
Ok, you win. I haven't been there yet. I had a trip that took me to Thailand and for some reason, I felt like I was so close. It was like I was in the backyard. It was, what, six more hours of flying or something and I didn't do it. So you win.
Dr Su Suresh
No, I mean, it’s pretty close. Far East Asia is very close to Australia, but it's such a big country. I moved from India to Australia about four years ago, and there’s so much to explore. It’s just as vast as the US. I’m just getting started to explore the east and west coast, and it’s exciting to be here.
Coleen Greco
Well, if I make it that far, I will look you up for sure. Do the audience a favor by just giving them an idea of who you are and what we're going to talk about today.
Dr Su Suresh
Sure. Hi everyone, my name is Dr. Su Suresh. I am a pediatrician and I am working here in the hospital as a medical doctor. But a few years ago, I experienced severe burnout in my work, life, and health. All the big major slices of life, as I like to call it. That was a big wake-up call for me to see if I was actually doing things the way I was meant to be doing them or the way that I wanted to be doing them. That’s when I took on this journey of self-discovery, going inside and learning so much about myself, how we work, how our minds work, and where our sole purpose is. How it can actually lead us to our goals and dreams. So that's the journey I've been on, and it's super exciting. So much so that I am training in another specialty now. I’m soon to commence about five years of intense training in physical medicine and rehabilitation, and I’m pretty excited about it. In the meanwhile, I work as a life coach and a professional mentor where I take my students and my clients through NLP and hypnosis to reveal all the unconscious and limiting beliefs that we have. This pushes us even more effortlessly into our big purpose of life.
Coleen Greco
I love it. I can relate on quite a few levels. I’d love to just double-click on the fact that we sort of covered this when we first met. You were kind of doing the things that you were supposed to be doing, right? People felt that you would make a really good physician, so you went down that path. But quickly realized that might be slightly out of alignment with what you felt your purpose truly was. Is that a fair assessment that you were following the recipe that somebody else had laid out for you?
Dr Su Suresh
Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s about the recipe that brought in a lot of external validation. It brought in a lot of accolades from the outside and it felt good to say it, but it felt empty on the inside. But I was too busy to think about the inside. It was the outside that mattered at that time. Yes, you’re right. It was a lot about the external, maybe people-pleasing. That was a big factor, especially growing up as women. We find a lot of that happening. You’re right on that, Coleen.
Coleen Greco
As you were doing your residency, your training, and now in the workforce as a practicing pediatrician, at some point you hit burnout. Have you had cues or moments where you thought, “I don’t know if this is it,” or did it just all hit you kind at once?
Dr Su Suresh
Such a good question. First, I'll talk about what happened in my life and then what I feel generally happens that we sometimes overlook. For me, it was a lot of cues and gut. When I was working, it was a lot of intense work and long hours, but not the kind of work, the amount of internal energy I put into work made everything feel like a drag. So it was not just my career; my health suffered, my relationship with my husband was suffering, and my close family and friends. I just refused to see it because I was thinking, “Well, I’ve got to just get on with it.”
Life is going to be this way. I can't be a sissy and just stop and stop tracks and change when I've come such a long way. You know, It's these sorts of thoughts that just force you to not stop and reflect and review. And this made me actually really sort of, when I felt better, and you know, we go through that afterwards as well. But I think life gives us change and growth. I feel that the only people who don't have any challenge in life or who don't want any sort of change in life are either not here on earth itself, either they're in heaven or buried in the graveyard. Human life is very dynamic. There's a lot of change being offered, and there are two ways to take this change.
Reverend Michael Beckwith talks about it so much that, you know, you could change through insight or through pain. The insightful, spiritual sort of people, the very mindful people who we all hope to be one day, change through insight. They know they're like, “Oh, this is not working. Review, reflect, see where I want to go, hire a joyologist or hire a life coach, and see where life needs to be taking them through and what actually brings them joy in life.” Verses when life just kicks you in the ass, like me. It kicked me. I had a terrible ectopic pregnancy in the middle of my workday when I had severe abdominal cramps.
I said, “Oh, I'm too busy. I'm supposed to be working as a pediatric E D doctor. I can't present as a patient. I mean, who will do my work then, right now?” This sort of false belief that the whole world rests on my shoulders. There was so much that I had to present as a patient rather than as a doctor. I went in and I was immediately categorized as a category two. That means my vitals were unstable, indicating a lot of internal bleeding. So that’s when they tried emergency surgery to remove one of my fallopian tubes because it was a pregnancy that was happening in the wrong location. That was a wake-up call for me. I hope that men and women all around the world listen to the cues and not wait for the painful moment to force life to stop and reflect and review.
So I think that was a big wake-up call for me that I hope what I would like to take from that life lesson was to change from insight rather than pain. So these are Japanese Buddhist terminologies, Kensho and Satori. Instead of changing through pain, to change through insight.
Coleen Greco
First of all, I don't want to step over the fact that you had a loss, and I'm sincerely sorry for that. And I think that is a really powerful experience. I want to make sure people understand that the number one occupation that I deal with amazing doctors and nurses, the people that maybe should know better, but they just don't. They're so wrapped up in the things that they're doing for other people, and maybe it's better to categorize these people as in service to others, but the absolute worst to themselves by far. And so it doesn't surprise me that it took, I like to call it my frying pan over the head moment. You have to get knocked sideways. That's what it takes, I think, for people to wake up sometimes. Now in hindsight, in retrospect, did you have cues that you now can see but then had ignored? They were kind of telling you, “I think this crash is coming. Like the train is coming straight towards you. You better make a turn.”
Dr. Su Suresh
Oh, yes. I think retrospectively now that we have the gift of the retrospectoscope, I think there was a lot. My mental health was declining, and my days off from work were just the worst. I had a lot of anxiety pulling into work.
There was a lot of conflicts with me and, you know, my close family and friends. I think these sort of things were really big red flags for me to actually stop and say that, okay, I think I need to change the way my journey is going. But there were big red flags that were getting louder and louder. First, initially, it was a lot of anxiety about going to work or getting extremely tired after a workday. Fine, that's normal; everybody might experience that. But then that got louder and louder, in that my mental health deteriorated, complete lack of energy, a lot of anxiety building up, and depression on the days when I finally had time to think about it. And things like a lot of conflicts which were not resolving, that I was not interested in resolving, and felt like there were a lot of things that I chose to ignore, just hide under the carpet, which I think just kept building up and up and up until it just exploded.
So, I think life does give us nudges and clues. Even if these are softer ones, just, you know, things. That's what I'm learning about, especially about people being mirrors. Whatever goes on within us is a lot of what is projected outside. The internal conflicts within me were projected as external conflicts with almost everybody I knew. There was a lot of incongruity with everything that I was doing. And it just felt like it was not congruent. I wanted to be this person, and I started looking in the middle of COVID, and there was a lot of influx of wellness, or pseudo-wellness, because I think that was the only thing that people could get their hands on at that time. And I felt like there was a lot of comparison, and everything for me, and yeah, it just blew up. But there were signs, there were big, strong signs that I chose to ignore, unfortunately.
Coleen Greco
Well, myself included. So there's no shame in that, but I want to make sure that for the folks that are tuning in, you understand that all of these symptoms, like these conflicts or lack of energy, the story that then goes on in your head is, "I should be able to handle this. I am stronger than this. This is crazy that I don't have this kind of energy." And that is like, so not the truth. Your body is showing you in ways that it thinks you will be able to hear it, and then you kind of misread it and stuff it away somewhere, but none of those signals are signs of weakness. And I know you didn't say that, but we all think it of ourselves. So, I just want to make sure people understand when you feel like you are out of gas, it's time to stop. It's not time to forge ahead. And I think especially as women, we feel like that's the time when we double down and work even harder, and that's so bad for your immune system, your adrenals. Like everything suffers. So, thank you for sharing that.
But at some point now, you know, you've had the ectopic pregnancy. Is that when you started to evaluate like, is this what I should be doing with my life? Or what was kind of like your thought process as you realized, I'm a little off from what my purpose is?
Dr Su Suresh
Well, for me, it was definitely. I think that was the first time that I actually had to sit in one place and could not do much physically, not do much mentally. But mentally, I was like, I go to what? What is this? Why am I taking time off? The universe was like, you're going to sit down and deal with this and do the uncomfortable things of, of yes, you have been doing that. So, yeah, I mean, yeah. It was all of a sudden, obviously, I did have a bit of physical signs that I chose to ignore, and then this happened, and I was in the emergency, and the surgery had to happen, and then quickly came back home, and I was like, oh, the pain of just the physical pain itself was so much that I couldn't do much. So much so that I had to rely on my husband to sort of deal with, you know, just taking care of me. And, you know, just, I think that was a time when we became kinder to each other because we had time as well. I mean, actually, I had time to actually be in a place and sort of see and reflect where I was going. And that was the time when I had this maybe a flick of thought that, you know what? I don't know if I eventually, after I feel better, that I'm excited or happy to be going to work. And that's when I realized that. Of course, it came with a full gush of, oh my God, I've spent decades doing this. This is the only thing I know. What else? That's the fear of the unknown, which everybody has. Right. But we don't know what exactly is there in front of us that we could take the route that we could take. But we always think about the past so much, and you know, that gush of fear and insecurity. Oh, what else? I don't think I'm qualified to do anything else. I mean, this is the only thing I know, and just dealing with this all by myself is just the most scariest thing. I feel that's why we humans thrive in a community, especially in nuclear families, in the where we're living isolated parts of, of, of, you know, we choose sometimes to be a bit isolated from others that we don't actually share our vulnerabilities. And I think that is something that is a bit of a problem that, you know, at least to share it with somebody, close somebody safe or hire someone. And I feel I think being with a therapist and a life coach really changed my life because I don't think I could have done this by myself. Even if I could, it would have taken me years and years, maybe a decade to actually be where I am now, you know, having a coach or a therapist to actually take you through the process of what, where, see, see, see, to see your blind spots and you know, to see your unconscious beliefs and to bring that into the light, into the spotlight. That is so powerful and sometimes takes a professional like you and me to actually help another person.
Coleen Greco
Yeah, what do you reckon we—
Well, so one of the defining, I don't know, phrases, I guess I'd call it during my journey was "trouble is your transportation." And I held onto that. I don't know why it hit me between the eyes, obviously because I needed to learn it. But I held onto that like it was like I white knuckled it until I finally believed that. I repeated that phrase millions of times until it eventually does lead you to a bigger, brighter, more beautiful place.
But it doesn't feel like that, you know, as you're sitting in your hospital room and mourning, right? That is not, you can't see the beauty. But you know, to your point about the retroscope, you have the ability to look back and say, "Wow, I needed to learn these things in order to be where I am today," and that life happens for you, not to you. And so I love that you've now, you know, taken your trauma and turned it into your calling. You found your calling and your purpose from it. So, I'd love to make sure you tell us a little bit about this Juicy Tidbit. You're offering a free ebook called Get More Time. So tell us a little bit about what we can find when we visit. And we'll have everything in the show notes as well. But if somebody goes to that landing page, what are they gonna see?
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, so I think a lot of us are high achievers and sometimes the thing that trips us the most is that we don't have time. We wish we had more time. We have a child to take care of or a full-time career. I wish I had more time, and then I would take that dance class or go to a dating profile or, you know, things like that. This thought really trips us up so much so that it takes so much of our time and our mental space that it actually holds us back from actually trying to do anything. So this is an ebook that I've put together. It is a fantastic 10-page ebook just for busy people. It talks about how time management is like energy management. And once you manage your energy, is when you feel that there's more time to do whatever you want to do. So, to get more clarity as well about what really is important for that person to be done, prioritize, and then go for it. So, this is what I've kept. It's a very succinct 10-page ebook that is available for free on my Instagram link or the link down in show notes, and it's gonna be super valuable, I think.
Coleen Greco
Oh, I love it. And your Instagram, because I don't want to forget to, a lot of times I forget to do this until the end because it do involve in the conversation. So I'm glad you said it because I would have waited another several minutes. You can definitely follow Su on Instagram @dr.supraja.suresh. And it's @dr.supraja.suresh. And we'll have that in the show notes too. You have a lot of great content, by the way, on Instagram. Give us a little tidbit of what we might find when we visit.
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, so you'll find a lot of hacks on how to be more insightful and how to put your best foot forward when you get up in the day. I'm all about getting up early, doing stuff, getting stuff done, and it's all about being multi passionate as well. I mean, I feel that so many of us, especially as women, we can take on projects more easily and effortlessly. So it's all about being multi passionate, going for your goals, and getting life hacks on things that you can implement immediately. So yes, that's what you'll find on my Instagram.
Coleen Greco
Now, my favorite, and I have to bleep it or I'll have to pay a fine, is "why should you give a bleep about your time?" If that doesn't summarize like a Boston statement, I don't know. It does. I was like, oh, I like that. Let's play that one later. "Why did you give a bleep? It's the four-letter F word about your time."
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, yes. That's a good idea.
Coleen Greco
What would you like to make sure that the listeners walk away with today? Maybe a few helpful tidbits as they get back to their day.
Dr Su Suresh
Oh, so good. I think I'd love to remind the lovely listeners that it's always good to keep reviewing, maybe at least once a month or once a fortnight, to see if you're following the things that bring you joy, the things that you're excited to learn about. I'm not saying that the journey may not involve hard work, but the only question that you need to sometimes ask yourself once in a while is, are you happy with your progress in your journey, whether it's your career journey, your romantic journey, or your fitness journey? If you're not, there's something that you need to sit and change, change the way you do it, or change the way you think about it. Yeah. So yeah, I would love to keep it short and simple that way.
Coleen Greco
Yes, I think that's brilliant advice actually. Thank you for saying that because I think a lot of people will maybe end their day with a difficult phone call and say like, "I had a lousy day." No, you didn't. You had a difficult phone call at the end of the day. But the seven or eight hours before that actually went quite well.
It's really important to impress upon people to be mindful of the language they use and the timeframe they mention because that stuff gets reprogrammed into your ego and served up to you as a story. You will tell yourself over and over again that you had a bad day when maybe you had a difficult moment or series of moments. That can really take a toll on your mental health in the long term.
Dr Su Suresh
Absolutely. I love what you said about being mindful of the language we use, especially towards ourselves. It's so true.
Coleen Greco
Yes, I love that. Dr. Su, it's been a pleasure having you on the show today. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and for sharing your journey, which I know is so precious. I very much agree with you. We have to get vulnerable if we all want to collectively change—it really takes a village. I'm thrilled that you were able to be on today.
Dr Su Suresh
Thank you for having me, Coleen. It's lovely to be here. Thank you.
Coleen Greco
And that was our latest episode of Joy Unleashed. Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you never miss an episode.
Well, that was a great episode with Dr. Su. At the end, we talked about being really intentional and careful about the language that you use and the things that you're saying.
We discussed how you might have a difficult conversation towards the end of the day and then get home and tell your significant other, "Oh, I had a lousy day." No, you didn't. You had a lousy several minutes. Don't let that take over your day.
Be very careful about the language you're using because your body is absorbing that, recalling it, and will identify future days that are pretty similar as the same. So, be really careful and above all else, always ground yourself in joy.
