WEBVTT
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Mexico money by skill speaking that that should not have
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made it to the rest of us. This is Inside Thoughts.
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Let's get Jordan.
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Check check check.
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We're live, baby, Welcome back to Inside Thoughts. I hope
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you're having a good start to your week. I got
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a cool interview for you at the end of the
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podcast with comedian Sean Donald. We got to talk to
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him last week. He was in Indie at Helium and
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super funny guy. So I got that for you at
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the end of the podcast.
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How you doing you good? Hope?
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Uh hope, everything's all right. I just I had a
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tough weekend.
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Man.
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I had to go to New York, the Big City
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with Amy because we did a fitness competition. It's called
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High Rocks. It's like all the super CrossFit bros.
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We're like, hey, dude, you want to showcase your skills.
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It's gonna be three hundred bucks a ticket.
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Dude, come on over and push this sled.
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No, but it was fun.
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It was just one of those things where, like six
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months ago, Ames asked me if I wanted to do it,
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and I was like, oh, yeah, sure, I'll do it.
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She's like, we've got to train for it. I was like, yeah,
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no problem.
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I need to get back in shape anyway so I
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can play basketball without feeling like I'm dying and it'll
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be good.
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Well, six months passes and she was like, okay, we've
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we've got the hard rocks. This weekend it crept up
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on you. Man.
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I was like, I was doing good with training, but
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then you know, we traveled a whole bunch, went to Anglin,
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came back, I had some shows. I was driving around
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all the time. I was doing nothing but like drinking
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beer and eating pizza. So we get to this h
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this fitness competition, and it was tough. It's like eight
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different stations, like you're pushing a sled, You're pulling a sled.
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All these things weigh like three hundred pounds and you're
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like and a farmer's carry, and then you gotta do
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burpies and shit like that. And in between every every
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station you gotta like go run half a mile. And
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I was doing good for like three stations, and then
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my cardio, the little cardio that I had, disappeared.
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And I was like, fuck, I'm gonna die. It was
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terrible and.
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I felt back as Ames wanted to get a good time.
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She probably she's a badass. She probably could have done
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it in like an hour and twenty. We ended up
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doing it in like an hour and forty eight. But
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we also got like a seven minute penalty because I
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wasn't paying attention to any of the rules.
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Don't put your foot there.
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You have to put your knee all the way down
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when you're doing a squad.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't read the rule book. Well yeah,
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shut of. So we got a penalty, but we did it.
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It was just one of those things where Ames was
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looking at me like, you pussy. So now now when
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we get back. But we got back home yesterday and
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it's a little different. The ViBe's different in the apartment,
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you know what I mean, Like if she's walking through
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a doorway at the same time I'm walking through a door,
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I get out of the way, you know.
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What I mean.
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I don't want that smoke. I don't want to beat
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my ass. No, it was fun, though. The thing that
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was tough was we not not even the competition. We
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got tickets, like to we got plane tickets. We live
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in Indy, but we got the plane tickets in Cleveland
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because you know, the ticket prices for certain airports are
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just outrageous.
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I don't I don't understand why. Spirit, will you come
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back please?
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I need my poor people airline back. Man, Delta's running
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amuck right now, just like yeah, well, we're gonna charge
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whatever we want to charge. So I had to drive
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like four and a half hours to the Cleveland Airport,
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but it wasn't bad on the way there. On the
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way back it sucked because I wanted to be home,
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But on the way there it wasn't too bad. Like,
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I'm a big fan of driving in the early mornings,
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you know what I mean, because mostly there's nobody on
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the road. Also, the sun coming up as you're driving,
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it's cool. It feels like you're accomplishing something without doing anything, like.
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Hey, up, up before the sun. I'm seizing the day.
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But in reality, I'm just sitting down, barely pushing my
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foot on the gas while I drink my orange juice
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and eat my bacon egg mcgriddle.
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You know.
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But it's cool because I've tricked my stupid little brain
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into some dopamine.
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By feeling accomplished.
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Or maybe it's just the mcgriddle buzzing me, you know
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what I mean, Because those motherfuckers are delicious. Like the
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dude that made mcgriddles had to be a genius, right, Like,
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I know, genius gets thrown around a lot. Like when
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I was a kid, you thought there was only like
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a handful of geniuses, right, it was Einstein, Aristotle and
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Dexter from Dexter's laboratory.
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Did get out them out of the barn, Tori.
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You know there was only a few. But now genius
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gets thrown around all the time. Social media is or
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a fender of it because instead of just saying something's
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cool or I like that.
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We got to be showy. We got to be excessive
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with everything. I saw this video of.
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This guy breaking a world record for saying the most
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items on a menu in a minute or something. Somebody
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commented on it and wrote, this guy is a savant,
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a genius. He's a fat fuck that goes to get
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Chinese food every day. He's not a genius. Now, if
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you show me a video of a crow doing that,
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I'd be like, oh, Okay, that crow's a genius because
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it's obviously in the smartest tier of crow. Not a
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lot of crows are doing that, bro. But yeah, whoever
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in Vena mcgriddles absolute genius. You know, to think to
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put the syrup in the pancakes. It's easy to see,
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you know, looking back now that that was the smart
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move because it seems so obvious. But to be the
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first one to do it, that took courage, That took bravery.
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People probably looked at him like he was a madman.
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You want to do what to the pancakes?
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It's crazy.
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Also, I just spent like three minutes talking about mcgriddles
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and got the I got the audacity, I got the
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balls to call the world record holder for most takeout
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items named in sixty seconds a fat fuck that that
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was out of pocket. I do apologize for that, but
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I don't know, man. I like, I'm on social media
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way too much and I feel like once a day
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I see one of these world records getting broken. A
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lot of the world records are out of control, you
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know what I mean. Like, it's cool to do something
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and have the Guinness Book of World Records send you
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a plaque.
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You hang it up.
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It's in your living room, and you know, you show
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your guests when they come over to the house.
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Here it is.
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You're looking at the world record holder for most nickels
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held between my toes, you know, something stupid like that.
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Your guests got to humor you and go, wow, so
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cool man, you've really went for it and you got it.
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That's awesome, thank you. Yeah it was.
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It was tough, but I got twenty seven in between
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my big toe and what do you call.
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The toe nucks next to it?
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The middle toe doesn't sound right, does it? But I'll
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tell you the really tough part was getting twelve between
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the pinky and the ring toe.
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Your wife hate you a little bit.
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Ha ha, that's so good, honey, she whispers. I told
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you to stop fucking showing that to people that we have.
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Over, you know what I mean?
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Like, that's that's the life. You gotta have to get
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one of those world records. It's not a normal one.
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How'd you decide that that's what you were gonna do?
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Like it's cool, but how did we get here?
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You know what I mean?
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So like in the Winter Olympics when the German team
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wins the Loge and they're.
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Like, yasv to be honest, a Shia, how did you figure.
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Out you were good at luge? Was it a lifelong dream?
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You saw a poop go down the toilet roll fast
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and became fascinated with the speed with which it went
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down the pipes.
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Oh no, Like, how's that guy.
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Decide that he's memorizing forty Chinese takeout menu items? Hey, honey,
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I got y'all beefoo Young.
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Thanks, I remembered it.
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I remember you couldn't decide between the porklow main last
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time or the beefoo Young.
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Nobody cares. Just give me my food. I'll show her
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who cares.
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The world The world.
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Will That's that's definitely what happened, right, mystery solved. It's done.
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New York was fun though, like it was, it was
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just one of those things where like I thoroughly enjoy
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being in New York because you just you get to
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see every part of the human experience and it's awesome.
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Like you get to see super crazy people.
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You get to see super rich people that are also
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crazy but have money so they're not technically considered crazy.
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You see poop and you're not sure if it came
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from a dog or a person who just had taco bell,
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you know what I mean. I'm glad we did get
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out when we did. We ames was there a little
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bit before it for work, but I got a Friday
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and we left Monday morning before the Knicks played Game
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three at Madison Square Guarden. Bro I want to be
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happy for New York fans so bad because they do
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really love the Knicks, But fuck me, Art, there's nothing
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more annoying on this planet than a happy New York fan.
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Like, seriously, we were trying to sleep.
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Our hotel was I don't know, maybe a block and
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a half away from MSG and I went out. It
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was like probably nine ten o'clock. We got back. We
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were still kind of hungry. I was like, yeah, let
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me go pop out. I'll grab a couple slices of
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pizza real quick. And I walked outside and I turned
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the corner and it looked like there was a million
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people standing outside.
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And I turned right back around.
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I was like, yeah, I can't walk through all those people.
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Like New York Spider Man was there, the guy who
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does computer make this guy shit his pants?
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That guy was there, you know.
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My Mayor, Muslim, my Bagels, Jewish, my Christian d or
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Knicks and.
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For that guy was there.
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Like it's it's a weird collection of human beings and
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they're all so obnoxiously happy. You gotta you gotta hate
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it a little bit, right, I gotta be honest. At
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this point, I don't really care who wins the finals,
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because you know, if Wenby gets his first one, that's cool.
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I'm just glad to okay, see doesn't get to win
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back to back. They didn't deserve it. But Knicks fans
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will be happy if they win. Spurs fans they got
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the next Lebron, so it'll it'll work out for them
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in the end.
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It's just it's it's tough, like wishing.
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You want to be happy for New Yorkers, you really do,
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but they're they're just so fucking annoying you can't. I've
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tried so hard, dude, I've tried so hard. But I'm
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glad we got out of there before the Knicks actually
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came to town, because when we were walking to the
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train station, they were setting up the barricades so that
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I could come watch the game and not fall asleep
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and hear everybody.
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Cheer for me. Yeah, that's what they're doing.
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It's crazy that Buddy got booed because there was only
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rich people in Madison Square Garden. Like I understand him
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getting booed by poor people. He didn't help them out,
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but getting booed by rich people, that's.
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It's gotta be a tough way. He didn't care. He
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was sleeping. Bro Fuck, he's an eighty year old man.
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That's what I'm like. The president before Biden, everybody was like, oh,
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look look, Biden's falling asleep. Yeah, he's eighty years old.
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Now it's Joe Trump. Trump's falling asleep.
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They're eighty years old. That's what you're supposed to do
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when you're eighty. You turned into a cat. You know
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how cats are only awake like five hours of the day.
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The rest of the time they're just sleeping because they're
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about to die. Dude, cats, you know, they're saving up
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their energy so they could kill a mouse or you know,
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drag their buttthole across your face at four in the
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morning and try and get food out of you.
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But they're both sleeping. So long.
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Speaking of sports, that will advertising here if you want
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some cool sports shirts for the summer, if you want to,
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I don't know, get your dad a cool shirt for
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Father's Day that's coming out, or you just you know,
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00:12:32.919 --> 00:12:34.840
you need to look good like I'm a big T
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shirt guy. Old Glory has some of the coolest shirts
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I've seen.
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Like this is right up my alley.
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They got music sports shirts and they're all about twenty
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00:12:47.799 --> 00:12:51.080
thirty bucks. You can get some really cool T shirts
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00:12:51.440 --> 00:12:58.600
Old Glory and if you use promo code bald b
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A L D at the uh at checkout, you get
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fifteen percent off and then.
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I get a little kickback over there. But yeah, Old Glory,
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go type.
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That in here. I'll type it in old glory dot com.
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They got some cool hats bro Like, let's let's look sports.
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I got some.
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Sick Braves stuff. I got Looney Tunes. Uh, this is
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this is right up my alley. They got big Lebowski
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T shirts, Breaking Bad Sesame Street. You could get shirts
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for everybody in your family. Old Glory dot com, go
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00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:42.960
get some stuff. Use promo code.
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Bald, Hey, what's Nick's hairstyle? Bald b A L D.
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00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:52.960
Use promo code ball at checkout, and you get fifteen
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percent off and then I get my little bit too.
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Uh see works out for everybody in that nice in
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that nice All right, let's just do your headline of
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the week and then get the fuck out of here.
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Get your interview with comedian Sean DONNELLI. Being mad is
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not good for you. If you're mad, you're hurting yourself.
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There's a study that came out that finds being angry
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for one minute weakens your immune system for five hours.
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This time, I got to keep telling myself, I got
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to calm down. I gotta stop doing It's just like
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getting mad at little shit because I'm.
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Sacrificing my health. You know what I mean.
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Get mad like I'm driving down the highway. Some dick
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head in front of me is just sitting in the
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left lank. I'm the speed limit. Pass somebody, or get
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out of the way.
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There's three other ways you could be it.
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That little bit right there weakens my immune system. Now,
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next time I touch a doorknob, I scratch my butt
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and then wipe my nose. I'm probably getting sick. I'm
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getting the hont of the haunting virus haunta virus hanta.
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I can't even say it, but you gotta gotta not
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be mad.
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Man. What's wife all about?
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Choosing to control your emotions whenever a situation presents itself,
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or you know, some Buddhist shit like that. I don't
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know what I'm talking about. Just just don't be Max.
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It's gonna make you sick. If you're mad all the time,
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you're not gonna feel good. And then when somebody is
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fucking up traffic, sitting in the left way, not doing anything,
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you're you're drinking the poison you wish somebody else would
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drink or whatever they say. Revenge is all right, that's
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enough of me talking. Let's get to your interview with
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comedian Sean Donnelly.
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What's going on? Bro?
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What's that? Nick?
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How are you?
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I'm good man? You you excited for the shows this weekend?
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What what can we expect?
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I can't wait, man, I have a whole whole the
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whole block of new material to go do in India.
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I've been to Indian a couple of years. Every time
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I go, it's always such a blast. I always have
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so much fun. Helium is such a bad amazing clubs
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to badass clubs. So I cannot wait for the shows.
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00:16:09.080 --> 00:16:10.159
Well that's what's up, man? Yeah.
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Andy's definitely a good place to kind of figure out
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if the new material hits or not. Got a good
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like diverse crowd, old people, young people, white people, black people,
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and then you can kind of get it ready to
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go like, are you trying to work towards a new
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special or what are we doing?
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Yeah, so I've I'm trying to work. That's exactly it.
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I'm I'm taping a new hour in the fall. So
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it's officially my first actual hour I've ever ever put out.
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I taped a couple before a couple of trial runs,
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but I'm actually going to be taping it in the
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fall to actually either either it's going to show up
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somewhere on streaming or it's going to show up on
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my on my YouTube like a lot of my like
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a lot of comics are doing these days.
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Well that's what's up, man.
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So yeah, go buy tickets Sean Donoy's and Helium tomorrow
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and Saturday.
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You get to see the hour before it.
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Gets to streaming. That's that's always because then when you
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like go watch it and you're like, oh, dude, do
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you remember that that's the joke we heard?
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Yeah, if it gets changed, you can hear if it
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gets changed, you can hear what works, what didn't, stuff
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like that.
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Right.
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Yeah, It's it's really cool man. Now I got to
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ask because I was going through your social media and
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you're hilarious, but you also love talking about a bunch
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of off the wall stuff, So I gotta I gotta
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know if you have a favorite conspiracy theory.
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Well, so yeah, if you saw my social media, you'll
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know that I also do. I do a podcast another
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really funny comic name Dancy Tremaine called Bourbs Bros. Where
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we it's paranormal slash UFO podcast. I've been into that
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stuff for a long time. I'll give you, I'll give you.
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I'll give you two real quick ones. One of my
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one of my favorite ones related to UFOs is that
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what actually aliens are, what UFOs are is humans from
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the future coming back to observe or so it's a
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almost almost like almost like it's a they taking vacations.
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We yeah, yeah, yeah, we figured out time travel and
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we come back to watch us at a different time,
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different times, and there's tons of people. We had a
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guy on the podcast that's this theory wrote like two
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books about it. So that's one of my favorites. That
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all these UFOs people see and the aliens, what you're
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seeing is actually what humans when people are like you're
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basic gray aliens, that's what humans will look like in
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like I don't know, ten thousand years because evolution just
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makes us we end up just looking like that. For me,
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for whatever whatever.
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Reason, that's crazy. Dude.
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I don't know what's scary, because I like to believe,
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you know, the world's run by reptilians. But I'm not
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sure if that's more terrifying than the thought of aliens
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or future humans coming back and popping in.
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And going, oh this, they have poor people back here.
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This is crazy.
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It's poverty tourism.
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For yeah, this is this is what it looked like
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before we got rid of all of them.
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That's nice, now exactly.
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00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:02.559
You're uh, you live in New York. Are you from
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New York?
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00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:06.240
Yeah, I'm from Long Island, but I've lived in New
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York City for about twenty years. Never lived outside New York,
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00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:12.519
always stayed and started comedy in New York. Started in
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New York City. And that's another thing that I'm kind
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of at a milestone. This month's June March, twenty years
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00:19:18.599 --> 00:19:19.519
of me doing stand up.
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00:19:19.640 --> 00:19:21.000
That's notts. You still love it?
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00:19:22.200 --> 00:19:23.880
I still love it, man. I love stand up. I
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00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:26.359
love the hard business, you know, you know, show business,
397
00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:28.839
hard business. But I but stand up is always stand
398
00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:30.720
up is always stand Up. You can always count on
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00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:32.720
stand Up to be tried and true and be the
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00:19:32.759 --> 00:19:35.559
most fun. Being on stage is the most fun part about.
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00:19:35.319 --> 00:19:36.559
This job, one hundred percent.
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00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:38.680
Man, Well, I just wanted to ask, if you were
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00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:42.079
a Knicks fan, how you're feeling after the game last night.
404
00:19:43.200 --> 00:19:45.839
I'm feeling pretty fantastic. The city is in a really
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00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:48.119
good mood. They say that crime in New York City
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00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:53.519
went down thirty percent during the the fourth qu during
407
00:19:53.559 --> 00:19:58.160
the Cavaliers Cavaliers game. I think that's actually a real fact,
408
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.480
which shows you what happens when that's the ball is
409
00:20:00.759 --> 00:20:04.519
doing well. But it's last night.
410
00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:04.920
I'll tell you.
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00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:06.920
I was walking back. I was doing shows last night.
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00:20:06.920 --> 00:20:09.279
I worked a place called the Comedy Village in New York.
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00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:13.000
I'm walking back to my house. Multiple spots had TVs outside.
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00:20:13.240 --> 00:20:14.839
I would say about a hundred and fifty people just
415
00:20:14.839 --> 00:20:18.799
watching the TV, like Bodega's, bars, restaurants, everything.
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00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:19.960
That's awesome, dude.
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00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:22.160
Now now I kind of feel bad rooting against the
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Knicks because now I know if they lose, the crime
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00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.079
goes up and some old lady's probably going to get
420
00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:30.039
beat up. Because Jay went Brunton missed this shot dude,
421
00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:32.440
I'll tell you I felt bad for the Spurs fans
422
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:34.079
like watching them in the crowd, because I did have
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00:20:34.119 --> 00:20:36.640
a good amount of Knicks fans there. And there's nothing
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00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:40.039
more annoying than a happy New York Knicks fan, Like
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just honestly.
426
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:45.279
Well, yeah, they're they're trying to excuse me. I'm not
427
00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:48.200
I'm not gonna bandwagon it. I'm definitely I'm a fan
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00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:49.519
of the Knicks, but I'm not going to pretend that
429
00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:52.200
i've but this is this is fifty three years. I
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00:20:52.279 --> 00:20:54.640
believe they've been waiting for this. There's people in their
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00:20:54.720 --> 00:20:56.599
seventies that are like, please make this happen.
432
00:20:57.079 --> 00:20:59.240
No, it's it's tough man, all right.
433
00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:03.240
Uh So you you've been doing stand up for twenty years.
434
00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:07.160
Has there ever been like a moment where you got
435
00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:09.359
to do something or you met somebody where you kind
436
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:11.640
of looked around and you're like, oh, this is so cool,
437
00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:13.440
Like I can't believe they're letting me do this type
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00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:13.759
of thing.
439
00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:19.880
Uh yeah, so I would say this, There's been a
440
00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:24.319
bunch of those, and so it's us are the people
441
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:26.319
that you meet. So it's like the comics. The comics
442
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:29.200
that you meet, So like whenever when I first got
443
00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:30.920
a chance to meet Ray Ramano and work with him
444
00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:32.880
as the comedy seller that I freaked out about that.
445
00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:36.759
And then just just when I I booked my first
446
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:39.359
kind of kind of fitting because you know, TV is
447
00:21:39.400 --> 00:21:41.400
so different now, and when I booked my first late
448
00:21:41.480 --> 00:21:42.920
night it was David Letterman Show.
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00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:44.240
That was my first late.
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00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:48.160
Night and even just being there and being on that stage,
451
00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:50.440
that was surreal. I never in a million years thought
452
00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:52.279
that would happen in my life. That's that was the
453
00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:54.200
moment where I was like, oh, I feel you know,
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00:21:54.279 --> 00:21:56.400
you know, comics were pretty were pretty insecure, so I
455
00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:59.880
felt legitimate the minute I was on the Sullivant stage
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00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.240
on Letterman Show.
457
00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:02.720
Yeah, you got to go back to all the open
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00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:04.240
mics and be like, dude, I made it.
459
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:10.400
What are you guys doing here? You BOMs? That's what's up? Show?
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00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:12.920
My rolls, Royce, my top At.
461
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:16.240
That's what's up? Man?
462
00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:18.880
Well, Hey, Sean, we're super excited for you to come here.
463
00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:21.880
We know you're going to murder. Go get tickets. Uh,
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00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:25.319
you got four shows, two Tomorrow, two Saturday, and you
465
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:28.160
get to see the special before it's done, So go
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00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:29.960
check that out. You got anything else you want to
467
00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:31.200
promote for I'll let you get out of here.
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00:22:32.039 --> 00:22:34.000
No, already mentioned the podcast, and yeah I'm on I'm
469
00:22:34.039 --> 00:22:36.759
on Instagram show any time on Instagram. And and thanks
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00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:38.000
so much. I really appreciate you.
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00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:39.920
Talking to me. No problem, bro, have it going shop
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money
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For money, for money, for go money
1
00:00:01.800 --> 00:00:08.960
Mexico money by skill speaking that that should not have
2
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made it to the rest of us. This is Inside Thoughts.
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Let's get Jordan.
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Check check check.
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00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:21.359
We're live, baby, Welcome back to Inside Thoughts. I hope
6
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:23.519
you're having a good start to your week. I got
7
00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:25.679
a cool interview for you at the end of the
8
00:00:25.679 --> 00:00:28.239
podcast with comedian Sean Donald. We got to talk to
9
00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:31.399
him last week. He was in Indie at Helium and
10
00:00:31.879 --> 00:00:34.200
super funny guy. So I got that for you at
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the end of the podcast.
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How you doing you good? Hope?
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Uh hope, everything's all right. I just I had a
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tough weekend.
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Man.
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I had to go to New York, the Big City
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with Amy because we did a fitness competition. It's called
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High Rocks. It's like all the super CrossFit bros.
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We're like, hey, dude, you want to showcase your skills.
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It's gonna be three hundred bucks a ticket.
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Dude, come on over and push this sled.
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No, but it was fun.
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It was just one of those things where, like six
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months ago, Ames asked me if I wanted to do it,
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and I was like, oh, yeah, sure, I'll do it.
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She's like, we've got to train for it. I was like, yeah,
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no problem.
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I need to get back in shape anyway so I
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can play basketball without feeling like I'm dying and it'll
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be good.
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Well, six months passes and she was like, okay, we've
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we've got the hard rocks. This weekend it crept up
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on you. Man.
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I was like, I was doing good with training, but
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then you know, we traveled a whole bunch, went to Anglin,
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came back, I had some shows. I was driving around
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all the time. I was doing nothing but like drinking
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beer and eating pizza. So we get to this h
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this fitness competition, and it was tough. It's like eight
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different stations, like you're pushing a sled, You're pulling a sled.
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All these things weigh like three hundred pounds and you're
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like and a farmer's carry, and then you gotta do
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burpies and shit like that. And in between every every
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station you gotta like go run half a mile. And
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I was doing good for like three stations, and then
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my cardio, the little cardio that I had, disappeared.
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And I was like, fuck, I'm gonna die. It was
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terrible and.
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I felt back as Ames wanted to get a good time.
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She probably she's a badass. She probably could have done
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it in like an hour and twenty. We ended up
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doing it in like an hour and forty eight. But
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we also got like a seven minute penalty because I
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wasn't paying attention to any of the rules.
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Don't put your foot there.
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You have to put your knee all the way down
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when you're doing a squad.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't read the rule book. Well yeah,
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shut of. So we got a penalty, but we did it.
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It was just one of those things where Ames was
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looking at me like, you pussy. So now now when
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we get back. But we got back home yesterday and
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it's a little different. The ViBe's different in the apartment,
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you know what I mean, Like if she's walking through
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a doorway at the same time I'm walking through a door,
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I get out of the way, you know.
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What I mean.
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I don't want that smoke. I don't want to beat
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my ass. No, it was fun, though. The thing that
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was tough was we not not even the competition. We
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got tickets, like to we got plane tickets. We live
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in Indy, but we got the plane tickets in Cleveland
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because you know, the ticket prices for certain airports are
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just outrageous.
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I don't I don't understand why. Spirit, will you come
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back please?
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I need my poor people airline back. Man, Delta's running
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amuck right now, just like yeah, well, we're gonna charge
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whatever we want to charge. So I had to drive
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like four and a half hours to the Cleveland Airport,
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but it wasn't bad on the way there. On the
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way back it sucked because I wanted to be home,
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But on the way there it wasn't too bad. Like,
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I'm a big fan of driving in the early mornings,
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you know what I mean, because mostly there's nobody on
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the road. Also, the sun coming up as you're driving,
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it's cool. It feels like you're accomplishing something without doing anything, like.
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Hey, up, up before the sun. I'm seizing the day.
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But in reality, I'm just sitting down, barely pushing my
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foot on the gas while I drink my orange juice
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and eat my bacon egg mcgriddle.
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You know.
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But it's cool because I've tricked my stupid little brain
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into some dopamine.
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By feeling accomplished.
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Or maybe it's just the mcgriddle buzzing me, you know
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what I mean, Because those motherfuckers are delicious. Like the
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dude that made mcgriddles had to be a genius, right, Like,
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I know, genius gets thrown around a lot. Like when
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I was a kid, you thought there was only like
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a handful of geniuses, right, it was Einstein, Aristotle and
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Dexter from Dexter's laboratory.
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Did get out them out of the barn, Tori.
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You know there was only a few. But now genius
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gets thrown around all the time. Social media is or
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a fender of it because instead of just saying something's
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cool or I like that.
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We got to be showy. We got to be excessive
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with everything. I saw this video of.
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This guy breaking a world record for saying the most
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items on a menu in a minute or something. Somebody
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commented on it and wrote, this guy is a savant,
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a genius. He's a fat fuck that goes to get
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Chinese food every day. He's not a genius. Now, if
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you show me a video of a crow doing that,
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I'd be like, oh, Okay, that crow's a genius because
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it's obviously in the smartest tier of crow. Not a
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lot of crows are doing that, bro. But yeah, whoever
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in Vena mcgriddles absolute genius. You know, to think to
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put the syrup in the pancakes. It's easy to see,
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you know, looking back now that that was the smart
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move because it seems so obvious. But to be the
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first one to do it, that took courage, That took bravery.
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People probably looked at him like he was a madman.
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You want to do what to the pancakes?
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It's crazy.
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Also, I just spent like three minutes talking about mcgriddles
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and got the I got the audacity, I got the
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balls to call the world record holder for most takeout
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items named in sixty seconds a fat fuck that that
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was out of pocket. I do apologize for that, but
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I don't know, man. I like, I'm on social media
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way too much and I feel like once a day
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I see one of these world records getting broken. A
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lot of the world records are out of control, you
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know what I mean. Like, it's cool to do something
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and have the Guinness Book of World Records send you
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a plaque.
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You hang it up.
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It's in your living room, and you know, you show
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your guests when they come over to the house.
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Here it is.
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You're looking at the world record holder for most nickels
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held between my toes, you know, something stupid like that.
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Your guests got to humor you and go, wow, so
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cool man, you've really went for it and you got it.
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That's awesome, thank you. Yeah it was.
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It was tough, but I got twenty seven in between
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my big toe and what do you call.
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The toe nucks next to it?
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The middle toe doesn't sound right, does it? But I'll
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tell you the really tough part was getting twelve between
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the pinky and the ring toe.
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Your wife hate you a little bit.
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Ha ha, that's so good, honey, she whispers. I told
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you to stop fucking showing that to people that we have.
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Over, you know what I mean?
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Like, that's that's the life. You gotta have to get
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one of those world records. It's not a normal one.
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How'd you decide that that's what you were gonna do?
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Like it's cool, but how did we get here?
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You know what I mean?
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So like in the Winter Olympics when the German team
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wins the Loge and they're.
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Like, yasv to be honest, a Shia, how did you figure.
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Out you were good at luge? Was it a lifelong dream?
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You saw a poop go down the toilet roll fast
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and became fascinated with the speed with which it went
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down the pipes.
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Oh no, Like, how's that guy.
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Decide that he's memorizing forty Chinese takeout menu items? Hey, honey,
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I got y'all beefoo Young.
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Thanks, I remembered it.
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I remember you couldn't decide between the porklow main last
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time or the beefoo Young.
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Nobody cares. Just give me my food. I'll show her
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who cares.
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The world The world.
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Will That's that's definitely what happened, right, mystery solved. It's done.
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New York was fun though, like it was, it was
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just one of those things where like I thoroughly enjoy
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being in New York because you just you get to
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see every part of the human experience and it's awesome.
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Like you get to see super crazy people.
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You get to see super rich people that are also
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crazy but have money so they're not technically considered crazy.
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You see poop and you're not sure if it came
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from a dog or a person who just had taco bell,
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you know what I mean. I'm glad we did get
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out when we did. We ames was there a little
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bit before it for work, but I got a Friday
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and we left Monday morning before the Knicks played Game
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three at Madison Square Guarden. Bro I want to be
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happy for New York fans so bad because they do
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really love the Knicks, But fuck me, Art, there's nothing
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more annoying on this planet than a happy New York fan.
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Like, seriously, we were trying to sleep.
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Our hotel was I don't know, maybe a block and
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a half away from MSG and I went out. It
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was like probably nine ten o'clock. We got back. We
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were still kind of hungry. I was like, yeah, let
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me go pop out. I'll grab a couple slices of
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pizza real quick. And I walked outside and I turned
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the corner and it looked like there was a million
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people standing outside.
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And I turned right back around.
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I was like, yeah, I can't walk through all those people.
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Like New York Spider Man was there, the guy who
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does computer make this guy shit his pants?
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That guy was there, you know.
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My Mayor, Muslim, my Bagels, Jewish, my Christian d or
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Knicks and.
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For that guy was there.
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Like it's it's a weird collection of human beings and
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they're all so obnoxiously happy. You gotta you gotta hate
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it a little bit, right, I gotta be honest. At
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this point, I don't really care who wins the finals,
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because you know, if Wenby gets his first one, that's cool.
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I'm just glad to okay, see doesn't get to win
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back to back. They didn't deserve it. But Knicks fans
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will be happy if they win. Spurs fans they got
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the next Lebron, so it'll it'll work out for them
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in the end.
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It's just it's it's tough, like wishing.
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You want to be happy for New Yorkers, you really do,
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but they're they're just so fucking annoying you can't. I've
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tried so hard, dude, I've tried so hard. But I'm
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glad we got out of there before the Knicks actually
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came to town, because when we were walking to the
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train station, they were setting up the barricades so that
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I could come watch the game and not fall asleep
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and hear everybody.
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Cheer for me. Yeah, that's what they're doing.
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It's crazy that Buddy got booed because there was only
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rich people in Madison Square Garden. Like I understand him
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getting booed by poor people. He didn't help them out,
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but getting booed by rich people, that's.
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It's gotta be a tough way. He didn't care. He
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was sleeping. Bro Fuck, he's an eighty year old man.
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That's what I'm like. The president before Biden, everybody was like, oh,
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look look, Biden's falling asleep. Yeah, he's eighty years old.
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Now it's Joe Trump. Trump's falling asleep.
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They're eighty years old. That's what you're supposed to do
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when you're eighty. You turned into a cat. You know
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how cats are only awake like five hours of the day.
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The rest of the time they're just sleeping because they're
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about to die. Dude, cats, you know, they're saving up
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their energy so they could kill a mouse or you know,
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drag their buttthole across your face at four in the
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morning and try and get food out of you.
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But they're both sleeping. So long.
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Speaking of sports, that will advertising here if you want
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some cool sports shirts for the summer, if you want to,
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I don't know, get your dad a cool shirt for
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Father's Day that's coming out, or you just you know,
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you need to look good like I'm a big T
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shirt guy. Old Glory has some of the coolest shirts
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I've seen.
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Like this is right up my alley.
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They got music sports shirts and they're all about twenty
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thirty bucks. You can get some really cool T shirts
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Old Glory and if you use promo code bald b
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A L D at the uh at checkout, you get
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fifteen percent off and then.
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I get a little kickback over there. But yeah, Old Glory,
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go type.
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That in here. I'll type it in old glory dot com.
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They got some cool hats bro Like, let's let's look sports.
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I got some.
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Sick Braves stuff. I got Looney Tunes. Uh, this is
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this is right up my alley. They got big Lebowski
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T shirts, Breaking Bad Sesame Street. You could get shirts
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for everybody in your family. Old Glory dot com, go
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00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:42.960
get some stuff. Use promo code.
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Bald, Hey, what's Nick's hairstyle? Bald b A L D.
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Use promo code ball at checkout, and you get fifteen
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percent off and then I get my little bit too.
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Uh see works out for everybody in that nice in
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that nice All right, let's just do your headline of
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the week and then get the fuck out of here.
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Get your interview with comedian Sean DONNELLI. Being mad is
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not good for you. If you're mad, you're hurting yourself.
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There's a study that came out that finds being angry
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for one minute weakens your immune system for five hours.
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This time, I got to keep telling myself, I got
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to calm down. I gotta stop doing It's just like
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getting mad at little shit because I'm.
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Sacrificing my health. You know what I mean.
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Get mad like I'm driving down the highway. Some dick
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head in front of me is just sitting in the
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left lank. I'm the speed limit. Pass somebody, or get
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out of the way.
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There's three other ways you could be it.
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That little bit right there weakens my immune system. Now,
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next time I touch a doorknob, I scratch my butt
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and then wipe my nose. I'm probably getting sick. I'm
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getting the hont of the haunting virus haunta virus hanta.
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I can't even say it, but you gotta gotta not
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be mad.
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Man. What's wife all about?
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Choosing to control your emotions whenever a situation presents itself,
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or you know, some Buddhist shit like that. I don't
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know what I'm talking about. Just just don't be Max.
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It's gonna make you sick. If you're mad all the time,
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you're not gonna feel good. And then when somebody is
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fucking up traffic, sitting in the left way, not doing anything,
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you're you're drinking the poison you wish somebody else would
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drink or whatever they say. Revenge is all right, that's
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enough of me talking. Let's get to your interview with
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comedian Sean Donnelly.
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What's going on? Bro?
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What's that? Nick?
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How are you?
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I'm good man? You you excited for the shows this weekend?
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What what can we expect?
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I can't wait, man, I have a whole whole the
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whole block of new material to go do in India.
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I've been to Indian a couple of years. Every time
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I go, it's always such a blast. I always have
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so much fun. Helium is such a bad amazing clubs
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to badass clubs. So I cannot wait for the shows.
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Well that's what's up, man? Yeah.
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Andy's definitely a good place to kind of figure out
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if the new material hits or not. Got a good
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like diverse crowd, old people, young people, white people, black people,
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and then you can kind of get it ready to
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go like, are you trying to work towards a new
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special or what are we doing?
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Yeah, so I've I'm trying to work. That's exactly it.
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I'm I'm taping a new hour in the fall. So
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it's officially my first actual hour I've ever ever put out.
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I taped a couple before a couple of trial runs,
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but I'm actually going to be taping it in the
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fall to actually either either it's going to show up
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somewhere on streaming or it's going to show up on
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my on my YouTube like a lot of my like
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a lot of comics are doing these days.
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Well that's what's up, man.
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So yeah, go buy tickets Sean Donoy's and Helium tomorrow
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and Saturday.
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You get to see the hour before it.
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Gets to streaming. That's that's always because then when you
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like go watch it and you're like, oh, dude, do
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you remember that that's the joke we heard?
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Yeah, if it gets changed, you can hear if it
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gets changed, you can hear what works, what didn't, stuff
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like that.
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Right.
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Yeah, It's it's really cool man. Now I got to
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ask because I was going through your social media and
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you're hilarious, but you also love talking about a bunch
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of off the wall stuff, So I gotta I gotta
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know if you have a favorite conspiracy theory.
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Well, so yeah, if you saw my social media, you'll
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know that I also do. I do a podcast another
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really funny comic name Dancy Tremaine called Bourbs Bros. Where
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we it's paranormal slash UFO podcast. I've been into that
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stuff for a long time. I'll give you, I'll give you.
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I'll give you two real quick ones. One of my
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one of my favorite ones related to UFOs is that
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what actually aliens are, what UFOs are is humans from
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the future coming back to observe or so it's a
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almost almost like almost like it's a they taking vacations.
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We yeah, yeah, yeah, we figured out time travel and
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we come back to watch us at a different time,
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different times, and there's tons of people. We had a
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guy on the podcast that's this theory wrote like two
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books about it. So that's one of my favorites. That
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all these UFOs people see and the aliens, what you're
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seeing is actually what humans when people are like you're
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basic gray aliens, that's what humans will look like in
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like I don't know, ten thousand years because evolution just
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makes us we end up just looking like that. For me,
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for whatever whatever.
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Reason, that's crazy. Dude.
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I don't know what's scary, because I like to believe,
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you know, the world's run by reptilians. But I'm not
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sure if that's more terrifying than the thought of aliens
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or future humans coming back and popping in.
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And going, oh this, they have poor people back here.
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This is crazy.
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It's poverty tourism.
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For yeah, this is this is what it looked like
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before we got rid of all of them.
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That's nice, now exactly.
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You're uh, you live in New York. Are you from
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New York?
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Yeah, I'm from Long Island, but I've lived in New
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York City for about twenty years. Never lived outside New York,
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always stayed and started comedy in New York. Started in
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New York City. And that's another thing that I'm kind
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of at a milestone. This month's June March, twenty years
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of me doing stand up.
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That's notts. You still love it?
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I still love it, man. I love stand up. I
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00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:26.359
love the hard business, you know, you know, show business,
397
00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:28.839
hard business. But I but stand up is always stand
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00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:30.720
up is always stand Up. You can always count on
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00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:32.720
stand Up to be tried and true and be the
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most fun. Being on stage is the most fun part about.
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This job, one hundred percent.
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00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:38.680
Man, Well, I just wanted to ask, if you were
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a Knicks fan, how you're feeling after the game last night.
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00:19:43.200 --> 00:19:45.839
I'm feeling pretty fantastic. The city is in a really
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good mood. They say that crime in New York City
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went down thirty percent during the the fourth qu during
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00:19:53.559 --> 00:19:58.160
the Cavaliers Cavaliers game. I think that's actually a real fact,
408
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.480
which shows you what happens when that's the ball is
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00:20:00.759 --> 00:20:04.519
doing well. But it's last night.
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00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:04.920
I'll tell you.
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I was walking back. I was doing shows last night.
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I worked a place called the Comedy Village in New York.
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I'm walking back to my house. Multiple spots had TVs outside.
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I would say about a hundred and fifty people just
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watching the TV, like Bodega's, bars, restaurants, everything.
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00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:19.960
That's awesome, dude.
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00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:22.160
Now now I kind of feel bad rooting against the
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Knicks because now I know if they lose, the crime
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00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.079
goes up and some old lady's probably going to get
420
00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:30.039
beat up. Because Jay went Brunton missed this shot dude,
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00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:32.440
I'll tell you I felt bad for the Spurs fans
422
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:34.079
like watching them in the crowd, because I did have
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00:20:34.119 --> 00:20:36.640
a good amount of Knicks fans there. And there's nothing
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00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:40.039
more annoying than a happy New York Knicks fan, Like
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00:20:40.279 --> 00:20:41.440
just honestly.
426
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:45.279
Well, yeah, they're they're trying to excuse me. I'm not
427
00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:48.200
I'm not gonna bandwagon it. I'm definitely I'm a fan
428
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:49.519
of the Knicks, but I'm not going to pretend that
429
00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:52.200
i've but this is this is fifty three years. I
430
00:20:52.279 --> 00:20:54.640
believe they've been waiting for this. There's people in their
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00:20:54.720 --> 00:20:56.599
seventies that are like, please make this happen.
432
00:20:57.079 --> 00:20:59.240
No, it's it's tough man, all right.
433
00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:03.240
Uh So you you've been doing stand up for twenty years.
434
00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:07.160
Has there ever been like a moment where you got
435
00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:09.359
to do something or you met somebody where you kind
436
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:11.640
of looked around and you're like, oh, this is so cool,
437
00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:13.440
Like I can't believe they're letting me do this type
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00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:13.759
of thing.
439
00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:19.880
Uh yeah, so I would say this, There's been a
440
00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:24.319
bunch of those, and so it's us are the people
441
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:26.319
that you meet. So it's like the comics. The comics
442
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:29.200
that you meet, So like whenever when I first got
443
00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:30.920
a chance to meet Ray Ramano and work with him
444
00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:32.880
as the comedy seller that I freaked out about that.
445
00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:36.759
And then just just when I I booked my first
446
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:39.359
kind of kind of fitting because you know, TV is
447
00:21:39.400 --> 00:21:41.400
so different now, and when I booked my first late
448
00:21:41.480 --> 00:21:42.920
night it was David Letterman Show.
449
00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:44.240
That was my first late.
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00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:48.160
Night and even just being there and being on that stage,
451
00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:50.440
that was surreal. I never in a million years thought
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00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:52.279
that would happen in my life. That's that was the
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00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:54.200
moment where I was like, oh, I feel you know,
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00:21:54.279 --> 00:21:56.400
you know, comics were pretty were pretty insecure, so I
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00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:59.880
felt legitimate the minute I was on the Sullivant stage
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00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.240
on Letterman Show.
457
00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:02.720
Yeah, you got to go back to all the open
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mics and be like, dude, I made it.
459
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:10.400
What are you guys doing here? You BOMs? That's what's up? Show?
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00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:12.920
My rolls, Royce, my top At.
461
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:16.240
That's what's up? Man?
462
00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:18.880
Well, Hey, Sean, we're super excited for you to come here.
463
00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:21.880
We know you're going to murder. Go get tickets. Uh,
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00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:25.319
you got four shows, two Tomorrow, two Saturday, and you
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00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:28.160
get to see the special before it's done, So go
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00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:29.960
check that out. You got anything else you want to
467
00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:31.200
promote for I'll let you get out of here.
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00:22:32.039 --> 00:22:34.000
No, already mentioned the podcast, and yeah I'm on I'm
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00:22:34.039 --> 00:22:36.759
on Instagram show any time on Instagram. And and thanks
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00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:38.000
so much. I really appreciate you.
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00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:39.920
Talking to me. No problem, bro, have it going shop
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money
473
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For money, for money, for go money
