We Prayed While Doing CPR on a 6-Month-Old | Fire Captain Steven D. Graves III

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And I mean, we're working on this six-month-old kid, and we're all we're we're praying.
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We're praying as we're pumping on this kid's chest.
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We're we're we're flowing the medicines that are needed, and I mean we're we're crying out to God to just save this little boy's life.
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This kid is six months old.
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What has he done?
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So what I do, being a fireman, being in ministry, um, family man, sometimes you just need to kind of disconnect, be at peace, you know, let your mind be free.
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So, and I like to take naps too.
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That's part of it.
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I don't like being disturbed.
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So uh from one to four every day, my phone goes into do not disturb mode.
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The only people that can get through to me at that time is, you know, family, the my battalion chief on the fire department, you know, people who are in a in that group of people that I've selected, but I try to disconnect.
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I don't sit there and scroll social media and stuff like that.
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Like I put it down and just disconnect and relax.
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How'd you go about choosing those times?
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Is it just I think I I think I came came about choosing those times because so when I'm at the fire station, we try to eat lunch around noon.
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Okay.
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Well, once we eat lunch at noon, then we clean up the kitchen and you know put food up or whatever else we're gonna do.
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It's it's generally around one o'clock at that time.
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And that's kind of when it's the lunch hour.
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People are now going back to work.
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So everything kind of settles down for a few hours before you get that 3:30, 4 o'clock rush.
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So I think it came from being at the fire station.
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Those are kind of like some hours where I can kind of relax and settle my mind, and it's something that I've kind of evolved into something that I do every day.
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So my phone does it automatically every single day.
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One to four, it's in do not disturb.
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Yeah.
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So right now, my phone is in do not disturb, but my son can get through to me because he's my son.
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That makes sense.
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But as we were talking about how we came up before, we didn't have like access to that type of thinking the way we came up.
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So for you to know you have to disconnect, how did you get to that point?
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I got to that point, man.
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I think I would say back in 2015, um, I was called to a church in Grandview, Belvedere Heights Baptist Church.
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I was called to serve as their youth pastor.
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And it was a great group of kids.
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When I got there, there were about four young people.
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Um Jaden, Hannah, Alex, Jordan, so five, and Braden.
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And as we began to evolve and grow, more kids came, but that church is in the middle of a community of Grandview where there's a lot of alcoholism, a lot of drug use, uh, verbal abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse.
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And my what I what I discovered was my youth needed be, needed me to be more than their youth pastor.
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Like those kids needed me to father them.
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So it was all it was all good at first, but when I started consistently, you know, being called at two in the morning because this child is having a, they're in the moment of mental crisis.
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Or throughout the day, this child is at school and they're having an issue.
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And the parents, you know, loved me and believed in my leadership so much that they allow the schools to reach out to me when those issues happened.
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That's when I started developing little times where I would disconnect so that I can't be, I can't be the best me for you if I'm not mentally intact.
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So I have to take some time where I disconnect to get my mind right.
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So that's one of the reasons, that's one of the ways or one of the things that kind of got it started.
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And then with the fire department, as I grew on the fire department, became a captain, um, just needing that time to just go and disconnect, collect your mind, collect your thoughts, and just, you know, be at peace.
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Always, when I'm at work, in that moment, I'll go in my office.
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Because as a captain, I have an office.
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I'll go in the office and put like some soft like piano worship music on on my laptop.
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And I'll sit there and I may read a scripture, I may pray, I may meditate.
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And, you know, that doesn't stop people from calling 911.
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That doesn't stop someone from saying, hey, Cap, I don't feel well.
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I need to go home.
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And I have to deal with that in that moment.
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But, you know, those those few hours are important to me.
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I believe they help me stay grounded.
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Yeah.
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Coming from the hood you come from, or just just Kansas City, period, our environment.
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From drug needles on the ground to broken bottles, liquor stores everywhere, all your friends into whatever they into.
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Right.
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You being a church boy, for lack of better words, and you uh, you know, even it's even harder when you're a church kid and then going to hang with the homies or be around all of these people and stuff.
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And for you to even it's more pressure for you not to get into these things, you know what I'm saying?
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And I want it made me wonder how do you not acquiesce to our way of thinking or how do what makes you go down the road that you went down as far as caring about the the the neighborhood and the children and staying on the road of being getting into ministry and stuff because a lot of people back away.
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Faith.
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As a kid, faith.
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Faith.
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Um so I'll I'll I'll qualify my answer with this.
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When I was young, 14, 15 years old, I was called churchy.
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And I was called churchy because I knew scriptures.
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I knew how to pray.
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I was at church every day.
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There's a point in my life where I was literally at church seven days a week.
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I went to church from Monday through Friday because that's where school was.
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Saturday, we went over to the church to clean up the church and get ready for worship on Sunday.
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And Sunday, I'm at church for Sunday worship.
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We would have Sunday evening worship.
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So I'm at church seven days a week.
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Many will say, oh, that's why you are the way you are.
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Actually, no, that actually started to push me away from wanting it.
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But when I say faith, um, I say faith because just like I said, that made me churchy.
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In 2023, churchy is you know how to dance, you know how to say all the cool slang, all of the good lingo.
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And it's like, how does that help you when you're out in the real world, when you're at school, when you're walking the halls of Northeast High School, and somebody that you think is cool, you know, they're pulling out a pocket full of money that they made from selling drugs.
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How does the cool lingo, the nuances of ministry and the dancing, how does that help you?
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So for me, I say faith, because by my grandmother keeping me in that environment and not just exposing me to that environment, allowing me to grow into who I've become in that environment.
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I've served in just about every capacity in the church.
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I cleaned up the church.
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I was the drummer, I was the media guy.
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Um, I was, I've I've led in ministry, so I've done it.
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By her keeping me in the midst of that and allowing me to be exposed to it, um, it's one of the things that kept me on the right path.
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But then 22 years ago, our church elected a new pastor.
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And uh Pastor Jarvis Collier, he came in and I was the drummer, sitting there on the drums.
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And I'll never forget he called me in his office one day and he said, if you're gonna play the drums, son, you have to look like something.
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I see a future in you.
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So he gave me like five or six suits.
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And those suits, along with him, you know, spending time with me pouring into me, are some of the things that has helped me stay grounded, helped it has helped my faith evolve into this, into this, to this level of when those things began to look enticing to me, I'm able to, instead of jumping head first into it because it looks good, I'm able to take a step back and say, okay, but where will that take me?
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And how will that please God?
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How will that make me look in the eyes of my grandmother?
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Or how would that make me look in the eyes of God and man?
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And it just it just helped me stay grounded.
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But make no mistake.
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Like, make no mistake about it.
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I've had multiple times in my life where, man, I've watched guys sell drugs and live high on the hog, and I'm going to work every day and I'm struggling.
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And I'm like, if I would just do that, I'd be cool.
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But what they have right now isn't gonna help me get where God wants me to be for eternity.
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So I had to keep my faith.
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I had to stay strong, I had to stay grounded.
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If Jesus, if Jesus gave in to every demand that man put on him, they didn't even want him preaching in his hometown, so he left.
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If he gave in to what the what man wanted, I don't know where we would be.
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So I had to stay strong.
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Yeah, and then the the right now that you saw Vinyan, they aren't the same that they were now.
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I know.
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I dealt with him on the fire department.
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I I I wrong.
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We get calls and we'll show up and I'll be like, oh, this was so-and-so from high school.
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He 50 Cent hit the nail on the head when he said in high school you was the man, homie.
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What the happened to you?
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Like he hit the nail on the head with that one.
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And you really realize when you get older, they never were the man.
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Yeah.
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You know what I'm saying?
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They were trying to figure out how to be the man.
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Yep.
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As we all were, you know.
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But it looked good.
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Yeah, it looked good.
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As far as the suits, though, are you just it's not literally about the suit though, right?
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It's as far as because you said that that goes along with your faith or something like that.
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No, so that was one of the things that he did that I'm gonna say, so I'll say him giving me those suits was one of the things that he did that showed me he he cared about me.
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Like that's that's the thing right there.
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We many of us, our faith is what it is.
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There it is.
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Our faith is what it is because we know God cares about us.
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So when somebody shows a genuine interest in you, a genuine interest in your well-being, you're more apt to say, okay, let me see what this person has to offer me.
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Whether it be good or bad, I don't know until I see what they have to offer.
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And by God's grace, you know, him giving me those suits, I became susceptible to, you know, getting to know him, his teaching, and it was it was a blessing to me.
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Yeah, but those teachings weren't getting you no women, though.
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Like I mean, why you You see this moneymaker right here?
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I'm saying, though, like you talking about some stuff we don't care about when we that age, bro.
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We you a cornball to most of the women.
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Like you ain't selling no you ain't getting no money, you weird, bro.
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Like so I think I'm I'm I'm able to speak to that in a different way.
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Talk to me.
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Uh so you're right, you know, when we were coming up, 2002, 2003, it was all about, you know, did you have money?
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Well for that.
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Yeah.
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So for me, uh my my grandmother and them, they provided for me nicely.
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You know, I had the leather coat, the J's, you know, I had all of that.
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So even though my pockets was filled with link, you know, you couldn't tell that.
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You know, the the perspective of what you saw versus the reality of what I was dealing with were two totally different things.
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Um it's like this camera.
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They see a well-put-together man on this camera, but it could be a blazing inferno going on.
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The floor could be on fire.
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They don't know that.
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Yeah.
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They just see this up, and it's like, oh man, this looks good.
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That's their perspective, but my reality is all hell is breaking loose down here.
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So when you say that didn't help me get no women, uh the that perspective versus that reality, I was able to thrive in that perspective.
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Like I looked good.
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I looked like I had it.
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I looked like I had it all figured out.
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And then uh my reality did shift.
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I remember September 25th, 2001.
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Um, we were coming back from Voltec and we got into a bad accident.
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He had several other classmates.
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And uh the young lady that was driving the car that day, Koisha, I call her crash to this day.
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And every time I see her, I thank her because boy, she made me rich my senior year.
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Shout out, Koisha.
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So that little settlement that I got from that, you know, senior year, if you remember, like I had new shoes all the time, had all had the fly hats, that's what fitted hats really became a thing.
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And you never look bad though.
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So I wouldn't I didn't know y'all got a settlement for that.
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So Yeah, so perspective versus reality.
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Yeah.
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So as far as, you know, helping me get women, it I was trying to be a swimmer, play in the band, you know, go to church and all that.
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I really, I really wasn't tripping off of that.
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Like for me, um I was raised in the house full of women, so at that time I thought they was all crazy.
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So that was it for me.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, you you um you talk about what they see on camera, and what I sing is the same exact smile from high school.
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I could show you a picture in my stash that looked exactly like the smile now.
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Yeah.
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The only difference is weight.
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Really?
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Hey, listen.
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Yes, the only difference is weight.
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Oh, you got you don't got hair no more.
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I'm not fat, I'm aerodynamic.
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I said weight.
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It could have been it could have been muscle, it could have been anything.
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You put that out there.
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It's muscle, it's muscle.
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But it looks good on you.
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You carry it well.
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Hey, not all of us little guys can carry them big size well.
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I got a six-pack, it's just hidden.
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I can believe that.
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I can believe you also sent me a video where you were talking about depression.
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Yeah.
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Because we see the smiles or whatever.
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We see you smiling, joking all the time, or whatever.
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You all, I heard you say God took something broken and made it beautiful.
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God took my brokenness and turned it into something beautiful.
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Yep.
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God in therapy.
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What is what is that process?
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What is that, what are you even going through in those times?
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Oh man, here we go.
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So I believe this is my belief.
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Um, I believe there's so many things that we've been taught over time in the church.
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Yeah.
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We're we're spiritually toxic.
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Um I believe that the church led a lot of us to believe that all you need is God.
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You don't need man, you don't need therapy, you don't need nothing, you just need God.
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And here we are in 2023, and I have a t-shirt that I wear sometimes.
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It says I go to God and therapy.
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I believe that God, in his infinite wisdom, was wise enough to allow people to become mental therapists.
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There is a reason why that is.
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So even though, man, I'm I'm in, I mean, I'm locked in with the church, man.
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Like I'm serving in ministry.
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Um, I'm at church all the time.
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I'm I'm traveling and preaching.
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Man, my marriage began to fall apart.
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Uh my career began to get the best of me.
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The things that I was seeing on the fire department.
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Um, my grandmother passed away, and then six months later, my aunt passed away a few years before that.
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My dad died suddenly.
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So, man, life started life.
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And as hard as I was praying, the harder I prayed, the crazier I got, the darker my days got.
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And it was like, okay, well, I don't feel like this is working.
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There, there has to be something.
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Like, God, you gotta give me something.
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And I just opened my Bible one day, and the Bible was talking about wise counsel.
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I'm like, wise counsel.
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:28.000
And I just walked around all day with that thought, wise counsel, wise counsel.
00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:37.680
I was used to hearing wise counsel mentioned spiritually as pertained to a marriage.
00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:42.000
It says that no one should enter into anything without wise counsel.
00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:48.000
And I went to my pastor at the time.
00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:54.799
I was in seminary, and I told him kind of what I was dealing with.
00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:57.519
And he said, You should see a therapist.
00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:00.160
No, this is the church in Grandview.
00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:02.480
The pastor there was a white guy.
00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:04.319
I've been in the black church my whole life.
00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:06.079
Black church like all you need is God.
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:07.920
You don't need nothing else, you just need God.
00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:12.079
And I go out here to the white church and they like, no, you should see a therapist.
00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:15.920
So I a few years later, I go see a therapist.
00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:19.599
Man, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:28.079
Because all of those deep dark thoughts that I had, I was able to verbalize them.
00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:44.319
Some of the trauma that I went through as a child, I was able to verbalize it to someone who could audibly help me unpack it, address it, deal with it.
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:57.440
But and I'm and I'm not saying by any means that God is not important because I would come from those therapy sessions in tears, and the only thing I could do in those moments was pray.
00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:07.519
But now I'm able to pray from a place of I unpacked something today that I that I thought I let roll off my shoulder.
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:12.720
So now that I unpacked it, okay, God, now I need you to help me find peace in it.
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:27.279
And it was that search and that hunt, that hunger, that thirst, that knack, that desire for that peace, that when I say God took my brokenness and turned it into something beautiful, like, like that's what it was.
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:33.599
Like God took me from a place of lost and helped me find me.
00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:40.720
So I made that video so that I could just show other people, hey, it's okay to be vulnerable.
00:20:40.880 --> 00:20:42.640
It's okay to not be okay.
00:20:42.799 --> 00:20:44.480
It's okay to go to therapy.
00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:46.559
It's okay to seek help.
00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:53.839
It's okay to rely on other people because man, had I not done that, I say in the video, because of what God and therapy did for me, I'm still alive.
00:20:54.720 --> 00:20:58.720
There was a moment when it was dark, real dark.
00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:03.440
But um God and therapy saved my life, man.
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:10.000
I mean, and ultimately therapy is still God, because it's God gift to that person.
00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:19.119
So it's still love, togetherness is what God wants from us.
00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:21.200
So it's still God.
00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:26.480
Like a lot of people just think it's just this one entity.
00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:27.519
Like, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:33.200
It's all of us supposed to be coming together to be God, too, though, you know, to complete his mission.
00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:35.599
That's why that's why he left us the Holy Spirit.
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:37.279
Like, okay, I'm leaving this to y'all.
00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:44.799
Yeah so that y'all can come together and love each other, you know, pour into each other, support each other.
00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:47.440
That's why community is so important.
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:53.359
Like, without community, there's a reason why Jesus rolled with 12 cats.
00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:55.440
That was his that was his village.
00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:56.160
That was his community.
00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:57.680
He needed community.
00:21:57.920 --> 00:21:59.759
Yeah, and but you know, he didn't.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:03.519
Do what he did alone when he fed 5,000 people.
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:07.839
Jesus didn't just walk up and take the stuff out of the little boy's hand.
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:11.200
You know, Jesus had done all that he done.
00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:13.519
You know, he had preached and did all of that.
00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:16.000
And then it was like, okay, I need to feed these people.
00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:21.119
And one of one of the men of his community said, Well, this little boy got a lunch over here.
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:22.000
Like, this is all we got.
00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:23.119
He got two fish and five molds.
00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:24.400
He bring it to me.
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:27.519
And of course, I'm putting this into Steve Gray's translation.
00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:41.440
But, you know, his village, being there helping him, Jesus wouldn't have been able to feed 5,000 people by himself, but because he had his community, his village, man, he was able to do one of the most amazing things ever.
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:42.000
Yeah.
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.680
And it was because of his community when he was crucified.
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:49.039
It was his community that he came back to.
00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:51.839
But that same community, it's so funny.
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:59.599
When you go through, when you go through certain things in life, that community, they can be with you and watch you do all of these great things.
00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:08.079
But it's that same community that when hell breaks loose, they don't, it's like, I don't know that cat.
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:12.160
They, you know, Peter denied him.
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:13.519
When they say, you know him?
00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:14.559
Nah, I ain't with him.
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:16.160
They ain't my guy.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:19.039
You know, uh Judas, but trading with the kids.
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:25.759
And it was to the point when he came back to that community after all they had done and denied him and ran and went into hiding.
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:29.039
He gave, he came back to that community, and the community didn't even believe it was him.
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:30.240
Man, that ain't you.
00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:31.839
No, I'm Jesus.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.319
All right, if you're Jesus, show us them holes in your head.
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:35.599
There it is.
00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:36.400
Okay, okay.
00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:40.160
So, you know, you gotta, you gotta stay grounded.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:40.400
Yeah.
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:44.000
Because if you don't stay grounded, if you don't know who you are, that's it right there.
00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:46.000
Jesus knew who he was.
00:23:46.319 --> 00:23:51.440
Um there's a scripture I preached, and they talked about how Jesus came from God.
00:23:51.599 --> 00:23:59.759
God put, he came from God, he knew why God sent him here, and he knew ultimately he was going back to God.
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:03.839
So Jesus knew where he came from, he knew his purpose, and he knew his destiny.
00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:06.079
Because he knew those three things.
00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:08.480
Okay, y'all don't believe in me?
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:09.519
Watch me.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:13.200
I know where I came from, I know who I am, and I know what I'm here to do.
00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:16.319
When you know those three things, man, you're untouchable.
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:18.880
But even he had a human moment.
00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:21.599
Take this cup from me if you can.
00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:22.880
Hey, if you can.
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:24.640
Yeah.
00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:31.519
Even got mad, said, God, why Eli, Eli, Sabakanai, Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:33.119
Like, where you at?
00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:34.880
You you God.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:36.640
You're omnipresent.
00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:38.240
You can do anything.
00:24:38.480 --> 00:24:40.799
You you really gonna let this happen to me?
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:44.799
And even before that, like like we just like you just said, you know, take this cup from me.
00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.319
But he went in the garden.
00:24:46.799 --> 00:24:49.599
The one time he told his community, stay over there for a minute.
00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:51.279
I need y'all to watch and pray.
00:24:51.440 --> 00:25:01.279
He was so affected by what was about to happen, that he began to cry blood.
00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:06.160
Like, and you talking about a human moment, that's when he went off on him.
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:08.000
When he kept going back and they was sleeping.
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:12.079
It was like, I told y'all to watch my bat and they coming to get me.
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:13.119
Why y'all asleep?
00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:17.119
But that's hey, he had he had some human moments.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:25.359
You talk about being in that garden and getting prepared to carry that cross already, knowing his purpose and how it's gonna go down.
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:31.359
And you yourself, you're fighting hell in multiple ways.
00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:31.680
Yeah.
00:25:31.839 --> 00:25:32.720
You know what I'm saying?
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:38.559
Through the fire department and through what you do in ministry and stuff.
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:41.519
Carrying that cross is a heavy burden, though.
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:54.720
You want to talk about those heavily burdened times on both sides of the So we we on the fire department, like we joke and we say, uh, I know I'm not going to hell when I die, because the devil's scared I'll put the fire out.
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:56.240
Like that's hard.
00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:59.039
That's one of those little jokes that people say.
00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:00.799
And I may have just made that up.
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:01.200
I don't know.
00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:01.759
But anyway.
00:26:02.079 --> 00:26:02.880
I like that.
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:06.559
Um some of those burdens, man.
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:09.680
So I've been on the fire department going on 16 years.
00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:12.799
Man, I've seen a lot.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:24.640
Uh I've seen some things that have stuck with me for days, weeks, months, you know, that have shown up in my dreams.
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:30.720
And I've seen some things that I've been able to just move on to the next.
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:41.359
But because of what I do, like, my job really doesn't give me time to sit in that place.
00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:46.720
You know, I could, we could run a car, we could run a fatality car accident.
00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:48.960
And it could be a terrible accident.
00:26:49.039 --> 00:26:50.079
I'll never forget.
00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:52.480
I was out south and we ran this car accident.
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:53.920
It was two young people.
00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:57.759
There's about four or five kids in the car, but two of them passed away.
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:05.279
And we cut them out the car, and we're all, you know, we're all kind of messed up by it.
00:27:05.359 --> 00:27:07.359
Like, man, this is crazy.
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:18.240
We pick up all of our tools, load them into the fire truck, and we go in service from that car, and we immediately sent to a shooting.
00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:22.799
And it ended up being a homicide.
00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:28.319
So my brain is still processing what I just saw here.
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:35.039
But now I have to take care of what's going on here.
00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:52.720
So when you talk about fighting fires in the spiritual and in the physical or natural life, man, that's that's where when I say faith, man, I just I spend a lot of time just saying, Lord, have your way right now.
00:27:53.119 --> 00:27:56.000
We had a cardiac arrest, we're doing CPR.
00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:08.799
I'm I could be doing chest compressions on somebody, and I could just be like, in my mind, silently, just saying, you know, Lord, touch right now.
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:10.400
Just give me a heartbeat, God.
00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:11.359
Give me a heartbeat.
00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:15.279
We ran a six-month-old kid a couple years ago.
00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:18.960
And man, we we worked on this kid for an hour.
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:23.039
And the whole time, we're praying audibly.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:25.920
Like, we're not, it ain't no silent prayer.
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:30.079
It's me, I'm working on a crew with some guys that are strong believers.
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:34.480
And I mean, we're working on this six-month-old kid, and we're all, we're, we're praying.
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:37.359
We're praying as we're pumping on this kid's chest.
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:40.400
We're, we're, we're flowing the medicines that are needed.
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:46.240
And I mean, we're we're crying out to God to just save this little boy's life.
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:47.839
This kid is six months old.
00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:49.440
What has he done?
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:55.599
That at six months, he loses his life.
00:28:56.160 --> 00:29:00.559
Man, we cried out like we ain't never cried out before, and we were unsuccessful.
00:29:01.359 --> 00:29:05.759
I left that call feeling like Jesus on the cross.
00:29:06.079 --> 00:29:08.319
Why has why have you forsaken me?
00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:10.799
I cried out to you.
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:32.559
And it's moments like that that really challenge your faith and make you say make you realize that sometimes when we ask God for healing or when we ask God for intervention, sometimes God's way of healing or intervening is to bring them back home to Him.
00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:36.160
It sucks for us.
00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:53.599
But at one of my cousins' funerals, one of my other cousins talked about how us being on earth is like when God, when you used to let somebody brought your PlayStation controller, and after so long, you're like, I want my controller back.
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:57.440
Sometimes God wants his controller back.
00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:02.160
That's it.
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:03.839
But it hurt.
00:30:04.319 --> 00:30:06.240
Like you taking your controller back.
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:10.880
Like you fall in love with that controller, especially if it's your only one.
00:30:13.440 --> 00:30:18.160
Dog, that that thought becomes a real feeling.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:22.799
So that's why I gotta stay tapped, I gotta stay locked in, man.
00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:24.000
I have to.
00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:26.160
If I don't, I go crazy.
00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:30.079
And you gotta learn to detach from these controllers.
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:32.160
You can try to.
00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:47.279
Man, that's hard to do when it's hard to do when it's when it's continuously given to you.
00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:48.160
Yeah.
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.640
Oh he took that controller back.
00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:57.039
But it's like how many control I run four cardiac arrests and one shift and four people die.
00:30:57.200 --> 00:30:59.359
How many controllers God gonna take today?
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:01.599
So why not just quit the game?
00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:02.799
Nah, man.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:04.240
Can't quit the game.
00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:05.359
Why not?
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:11.680
Because, man, it's it's it's what gives it gives him meaning.
00:31:12.319 --> 00:31:14.799
It's it's what it's what drives you.
00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:28.079
You know, speaking in the speaking in the realm of an actual video game, like that's what gives you that fulfillment, that sense of for some people, that sense of completion, that sense of belonging.
00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:32.240
A video game is the only place some people feel like they matter.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:36.880
So I can't quit the game.
00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:39.519
Because this is the only place I matter.
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:42.480
That's and that's it.
00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:47.759
Like the fire department, it's not the only place I feel like I matter, but it gives me meaning.
00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:51.519
It gives me a sense of pride, it gives me a sense of community.
00:31:51.839 --> 00:31:55.200
Ministry, I matter, I belong, I have pride.
00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:56.640
Can't quit the game.
00:31:57.759 --> 00:31:59.119
I'm called to it.
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:02.240
It ain't something I woke up and decided to do.
00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:06.400
Because man, I have moments where I be like, Lord, I'm gonna go be a flight attendant.
00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:10.640
And yes, they make planes with lanes wide enough for me to walk down.
00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:16.720
But like I worked for the airline for a few years part-time.
00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:20.000
You're not even as big as you try to make yourself seem, though.
00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:21.359
I'm a pretty big dude.
00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:24.000
You're a big dude, but you're not as big as you try to make yourself seem.
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:27.039
Well, y'all got me on this extra wide lens camera.
00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:31.039
So make sure y'all keep all this in there.
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:31.519
Yeah.
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:36.960
But uh I have moments where I'll be like, man, I'm about to, I'm gonna, I'm gonna quit the fire department.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:39.440
But it's my calling, yeah, man.
00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:40.480
It's my calling.
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:44.079
Like, this it's a calling.
00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:54.319
So Can you remember when you first the first time you realized, oh, this is real beyond what I ever thought it would be.
00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:58.000
Yeah, I wasn't even on the fire department yet.
00:32:58.319 --> 00:32:59.839
So catch this.
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:02.720
Um, I dropped out of college.
00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:09.119
And I dropped out of college because I was dating a young woman and I just wanted to be here with her.
00:33:09.200 --> 00:33:10.160
Like I was in love.
00:33:10.319 --> 00:33:11.440
It was my son's mom.
00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:14.160
It was the dumbest, best decision I ever made in my life.
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:16.480
It was the dumbest decision because I knew better.
00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:22.160
But it was the best decision because from that decision, a child was created.
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:29.279
And my son, who's 17 now, shout out to Liberty North High School, the Eagles, they just won the state championship this year.
00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:31.200
He's my Eagle Prize joy.
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:35.039
That little dude has been with me his whole life.
00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:41.200
So he's born, or she's pregnant with him, and I'm like, man, I gotta go do something.
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:42.640
I gotta make some money quick.
00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:44.880
So I start driving trucks over the road.
00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:54.720
And I come to Kansas City to drop off a load of paper, and this lady, the security guard at the City Hall, that's where I was taking the paper.
00:33:54.880 --> 00:33:59.519
She said, Oh, you must be here for the fire department, firefighter applications.
00:33:59.680 --> 00:34:01.759
And I was like, No, I'm here dropping off a load of paper.
00:34:01.839 --> 00:34:02.640
She said, Where are you from?
00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:04.000
I said, I'm from here, this home.
00:34:04.079 --> 00:34:07.119
She said, We need more black men on the fire department.
00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:08.719
You should go put in the application.
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:12.079
Bro, I think I knew two firefighters.
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:18.320
One was my Uncle Scotty, he was retired, and the other one was this firefighter named James, who lived around the corner.
00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:19.199
James was me.
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:23.360
We used to play football in the lot next to his house, and he would cuss us out and put us out the lot.
00:34:23.599 --> 00:34:26.000
So I didn't want to be like neither one of them.
00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:30.800
So I didn't think, and I didn't see a lot of black firefighters.
00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:32.159
Um, and one more.
00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:36.320
Um Brooks, um, I mean Steen, Mr.
00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:40.719
George Steen, um, who was he went to my church.
00:34:40.960 --> 00:34:43.760
I wanted to be like him, but he was like the fire marshal.
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:46.480
Like, he was up there, you know what I mean?
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:48.880
So, but I didn't know a lot of black firemen.
00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:53.760
When they came to my street for a house fire, what nobody got off that truck that looked like me.
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:57.519
So when that lady was like, we need more black men, I'm like, all right, whatever.
00:34:57.599 --> 00:34:58.800
I'm gonna go do the application.
00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:00.079
I do the application.
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:04.239
I go through this whole like year and a half long process.
00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:12.239
And I am in Tulsa, Oklahoma, dropping off a load at the Kimberly Clark Distribution Center.
00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:13.440
It's a load of toilet paper.
00:35:13.599 --> 00:35:15.920
I'm driving for Schneider at the time.
00:35:17.039 --> 00:35:21.840
And I'm coming back up 69 Highway, or no, I'm in Tulsa, I'm gonna go to Dallas.
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:29.920
I call the fire department, Chief Paul Barardi at the time, and I said, Hey, Chief, I hadn't heard anything about the fire academy or anything.
00:35:30.079 --> 00:35:31.199
He was like, You didn't get your letter?
00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:32.320
I was like, no.
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:35.199
He was like, Well, you're ranked number 10.
00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:37.679
I was like, okay, what does that mean?
00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:40.159
You know, of course, I'm I'm not used to this.
00:35:40.320 --> 00:35:42.960
I don't know the ins and outs of this process.
00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:50.559
He goes, Well, Fire Academy starts Monday, and if you're gonna be a firefighter, you need to be at the fire academy Monday because it's 26 people.
00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:53.760
So number one through 26 are coming into the academy.
00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:57.920
I'm number 10, so I call Snyder, hey, I gotta go home, blah, blah, blah.
00:35:58.079 --> 00:36:11.039
I'm on my way home, and I watched a car cross the median, the center line, and go head on with a dunk truck.
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:14.159
It was a fatality accident.
00:36:14.719 --> 00:36:20.400
I pull over, I run up to help the kid, and I'm in like rural Kansas.
00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:22.480
I think I'm down in like Coffeyville.
00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:37.039
And this little rural town fire department shows up, and the firefighter just walked up casually and started touching the guy and starting the process of cutting the guy out the car.
00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:45.360
And I'm standing here because this is what I'm about to walk into in about 48 hours from Coffeyville to Kansas City.
00:36:45.599 --> 00:36:50.239
After the police released me, I second guessed myself.
00:36:51.519 --> 00:36:52.719
Because that was horrific.
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:54.400
That was traumatizing for me.
00:36:54.639 --> 00:36:56.719
Like, I don't know if I can do that.
00:36:57.199 --> 00:37:00.639
And that's when the light bulb went off, but you're called.
00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:13.519
There's a reason why you who has never been around this, you don't know nobody, you didn't have no name to drop, you didn't have the tools, the resources, nobody helped you prep for no interview, no nothing.
00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:17.519
There's a reason why, out of all of these advocates, you're number 10.
00:37:19.199 --> 00:37:20.320
You gotta go.
00:37:22.159 --> 00:37:23.280
Here we are.
00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:24.239
Yeah.
00:37:26.639 --> 00:37:38.719
Now, when it comes to the ministry side, me and I I get so irritated with people because they act as if it's about to be funny.
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:39.440
Go ahead.
00:37:39.679 --> 00:37:40.960
No, it's not funny.
00:37:41.199 --> 00:37:42.639
It irritates me.
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:49.360
No, they just they just act like people in ministry aren't humans.
00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:52.800
They act like y'all can't have things.
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:56.000
Yeah, like you don't have a woman that likes Louis.
00:37:56.079 --> 00:37:57.199
She might like Louie too.
00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:59.119
Like you can't make it like Louie too.
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:00.079
You know what I'm saying?
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:03.199
Like, you can't make money and spend it.
00:38:03.840 --> 00:38:08.000
You all your money goes, should go to back to the people.
00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:13.840
But I think God gave us a purpose here to help people in our own type of way.
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:17.679
So we're all doing our own type of ministry or whatever.
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:18.159
Yeah.
00:38:18.559 --> 00:38:21.519
So why aren't you giving all your money to the people too?
00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:25.679
Why aren't you telling the rappers to give all their money to the people too and all of that?
00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:28.159
Like, who do you think they are too?
00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:29.360
They're not God.
00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:32.320
They deserve to live too.
00:38:32.400 --> 00:38:37.599
And even like King Solomon and all of them got to have all the riches and all that stuff too.
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:43.440
So it just irritates me that they feel like y'all shouldn't live too.
00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:52.800
And you might, a lot of times you've been a lot of people been in ministry for years and haven't made a dollar off of it.
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:59.199
Then you finally start to make in some money and people come in at the end at that part of the movie, but they missed the.
00:38:59.519 --> 00:39:00.880
They missed the whole beginning.
00:39:01.039 --> 00:39:02.000
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
00:39:02.159 --> 00:39:04.079
So you want to speak to that a little bit?
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:06.800
Uh I think it's I think it's within reason.
00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:09.599
I'm I'm I'm a guy.
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:11.360
I like nice things.
00:39:11.519 --> 00:39:11.840
Yeah.
00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:14.480
I I drive a Denali truck.
00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:16.639
I have coach bags.
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:18.480
I got a coach hat sitting right there.
00:39:18.960 --> 00:39:20.239
Um I have nice suits.
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:23.360
My name is monogrammed on the sleeve of my shirt.
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:27.360
But I'm a firefighter.
00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:31.039
So all of my income doesn't come from ministry.
00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:35.119
My income, matter of fact, none of my income comes from ministry right now.
00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:37.199
My income comes from the fire department.
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:38.639
So I like what I like.
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:48.880
But I've gone to places to preach, and I've, you know, come in with a Gucci hat on or something, and you know, it's like that's the topic of the conversation.
00:39:49.840 --> 00:40:11.199
And when I say within reason, I say within reason because if ministry is your full-time job, like that's all you do, your full-time ministry and your full-time ministry, your church is in the midst of an impoverished community.
00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:18.960
You know, the people around you, the people who are supporting your church or supporting you and your family are barely making it.
00:40:19.039 --> 00:40:21.519
You know, light lights about to get cut off.
00:40:21.599 --> 00:40:22.800
All of those things.
00:40:23.039 --> 00:40:30.800
If that's where your church is, and and and those are the people that are supporting you, then no, you shouldn't have a Bentley.
00:40:31.039 --> 00:40:32.719
If you got it, don't drive it here.
00:40:33.039 --> 00:40:33.679
Understood.
00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:34.159
Yeah.
00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:37.519
Like there everything is not meant for everybody.
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:42.320
I always tell my kids, if I tell you everything, I can't keep you from saying anything.
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:47.119
If I show you everything, I can't keep you from saying anything.
00:40:47.840 --> 00:40:53.920
So there are certain elements of everyone's life that are not for the world to see.
00:40:54.639 --> 00:41:05.360
So if you if your church is in the hood and the people around your church are poor, you probably shouldn't come down here in the Bentley.
00:41:05.679 --> 00:41:05.840
Yeah.
00:41:06.159 --> 00:41:08.960
Now, if you got it and you live way out there, drive it.
00:41:09.119 --> 00:41:10.400
Do your thing.
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:18.159
But probably not in the hood, but to that, man, be you.
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:22.559
And be unapologetically you.
00:41:23.199 --> 00:41:25.440
Man, favor is not fair.
00:41:25.679 --> 00:41:31.039
And I will never apologize for the favor that God has on my life.
00:41:31.360 --> 00:41:43.360
If God shows me favor in a way that allows me to do this, this, this, this, and this, I'm not gonna apologize for the favor God shows on me because that's the equivalent of me saying, God made a mistake.
00:41:44.719 --> 00:41:49.760
So the favor that God has on me is the favor that God has on me.
00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:51.760
What God has for me, He has for me.
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:55.760
But there are things that God has for you that I don't have.
00:41:55.920 --> 00:42:05.519
Just because I drive a Bentley and I live in this big house, I could be in this house losing my mind in the middle of in the midst of a mental crisis.
00:42:05.840 --> 00:42:09.519
And you could be in the projects just as content as you want to be.
00:42:13.039 --> 00:42:13.679
Mm-hmm.
00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:17.840
Nah, man, what God, what God has for me is for me.
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:19.199
What God has for you is for you.
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:20.880
I don't get involved in all that.
00:42:21.039 --> 00:42:21.679
Yeah.
00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:34.159
As far as the ministry though, how how tough does it get to deal with all these people's problems when they loading them up?
00:42:34.559 --> 00:42:38.719
Is it more load there than it is in the uh fire department?
00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:39.840
It depends.
00:42:40.159 --> 00:42:42.159
It depends on mentally.
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:44.639
Who I am, what role I'm in.
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:50.480
Um I call it dumping.
00:42:50.719 --> 00:42:51.360
Yeah.
00:42:51.760 --> 00:43:04.320
Because there are some people, man, my last position as youth pastor, the church I'm at now, Evangelistic Sinner and KCK, shout out Bishop Cortez Vaughn.
00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:15.599
Um, when I was youth pastor, man, I had people that I walk in the door and they be like, oh, Pastor Steve, I need to talk to you.
00:43:15.679 --> 00:43:18.159
And I'm like, hi, how you doing?
00:43:18.400 --> 00:43:19.119
You good?
00:43:19.760 --> 00:43:23.360
And they would just dump something on me about their kid.
00:43:23.519 --> 00:43:25.920
My son has been doing this, and I've been trying to talk to him.
00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:27.440
So I need you to talk to him.
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:43.760
And it's like they just they just dumped this on me, and now I don't have the latitude or the longitude to say, wait a minute, let me, let me breathe, let me process it.
00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:50.320
Like they want my response, and they want it to be the greatest thing God has ever given me.
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:52.000
They want it right now.
00:43:53.519 --> 00:43:57.119
Well, sometimes it don't work like that.
00:43:57.760 --> 00:43:59.679
And that's that's when ministry.
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:05.119
Becomes heavy, really, really heavy, because the demand increases.
00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:10.320
Around this time, ministry is heavy for a lot of people right now because there are a lot of people dealing with loss.
00:44:11.119 --> 00:44:14.000
Today is my aunt, who was like my sister.
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:17.840
She was my aunt, my sister, my friend, my company, she's my everything.
00:44:18.079 --> 00:44:19.920
Today is her birthday.
00:44:20.559 --> 00:44:24.480
And I had a moment today driving where I just started crying.
00:44:25.519 --> 00:44:30.960
So right now I'm at a place in ministry where I need somebody to minister to me.
00:44:32.400 --> 00:44:34.960
But both of them are heavy.
00:44:35.199 --> 00:44:39.599
And then both of them have some of both of them have their peaks and both of them have their valleys.
00:44:40.239 --> 00:44:50.400
Some days are more valleys than peaks, but I always say that there's a reason why David said yay, though I walked through the valley in the shadow of death.
00:44:50.559 --> 00:44:54.079
When you say yay, that's something you say on a roller coaster, yay, I'm having fun.
00:44:54.559 --> 00:45:01.199
I say David, I always say that David says yay because he was excited to walk through that valley because he knew what was on the side.
00:45:01.280 --> 00:45:04.239
It's a valley because it's the low point between two peaks.
00:45:04.400 --> 00:45:07.679
If there were no peaks on each side, it would be a plane.
00:45:08.320 --> 00:45:16.400
So David was able to be confident in that moment because just like he said, Yeah, gonna walk through the valley in the shadow of death.
00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:18.639
I know you're with me.
00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:20.079
I'm good.
00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:29.519
So with ministry, the fire department, when they have when I have my moments for being in the valley, I just look forward to the peak.
00:45:31.519 --> 00:45:46.559
Last thing, having to speak over the funerals of people you've grown to know, or a lot of your young kids, younger people you came up with in the hood, how has that been for you?
00:45:47.599 --> 00:46:10.400
Um so one thing I I'm not gonna say hate, but I strongly dislike during doing funerals because the funeral and yeah, the funeral is like one of the last times this person will be talked about publicly.
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:23.039
So the family be looking for me as the minister to just say something that's just so so riveting, that's just it's mind-blowing.
00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:24.639
It's like, oh my God.
00:46:25.199 --> 00:46:33.280
Did you hear what he said about him and how he painted the picture of who he was and what he did to who God called him to be?
00:46:33.519 --> 00:46:38.000
And sometimes I'm grieving.
00:46:38.559 --> 00:46:44.800
And I don't have the ability to paint that picture as a Picasso like you want me to.
00:46:45.199 --> 00:46:45.519
Yeah.
00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:53.760
And so that's why I strongly dislike doing funerals because people are looking at me to say the greatest thing they've ever heard.
00:46:54.559 --> 00:46:56.239
And the pressure is intense.
00:46:57.840 --> 00:47:03.840
And I often leave funerals feeling like, boy, you just died up there on that point.
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:05.840
It was terrible.
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:12.400
But what I do is I take that moment as an opportunity to just be me.
00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:16.559
You know, I've done funerals for people I never met.
00:47:16.960 --> 00:47:20.960
I remember I did this, I have a friend, she runs a funeral.
00:47:21.360 --> 00:47:26.559
She called me one time and was like, hey, can you come and can you preach this funeral on Monday for me?
00:47:26.719 --> 00:47:28.800
And I was like, Yeah, who is it?
00:47:28.960 --> 00:47:29.840
Is it somebody we know?
00:47:29.920 --> 00:47:31.920
She was like, nah, it's this family.
00:47:32.239 --> 00:47:34.719
The grandmother didn't have no church.
00:47:34.800 --> 00:47:37.920
They're all from this place, so they just needed me to find a preacher.
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:50.719
So I'm like, okay, have them send me the life reflections so that I can at least read about this person so that as I'm preaching, I can try to say something that's just riveting and mind-blowing about this person.
00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:56.960
So I come in with like this 15-minute sermon, or as I call it, Easter speech, right?
00:47:57.840 --> 00:47:59.599
So the family, I ain't never met these people.
00:47:59.679 --> 00:48:00.880
They want to meet me.
00:48:01.199 --> 00:48:03.360
Hey, I'm Pastor Steve Greggs.
00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:05.360
They like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:05.519 --> 00:48:06.880
How long you gonna preach?
00:48:07.039 --> 00:48:08.480
I said, oh, about 15 minutes.
00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:10.480
Can you cut it down to three?
00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:12.079
What?
00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:17.039
Boy, they made it easy.
00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:17.440
That's it.
00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:20.000
I read a scripture, prayed, and we was out of that bad boy.
00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:21.599
That's the best funeral I ever did.
00:48:21.760 --> 00:48:24.719
Because I didn't leave there feeling like, oh man, I've messed up.
00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:26.960
Well, I prayed heaven down that day.
00:48:27.920 --> 00:48:35.199
But it's it's tough because you know you memorialize as somebody that you know, especially if it's somebody from the neighborhood you're from.
00:48:35.519 --> 00:48:37.519
It's somebody that you know.
00:48:38.239 --> 00:48:40.639
And you're grieving too.
00:48:41.199 --> 00:48:55.519
So you have to put your grief on the shelf because these people are expecting you to say the most round-shaking, glass, shattering thing they have ever heard about this person.
00:48:55.840 --> 00:48:58.960
When they leave this funeral, they want to leave.
00:48:59.039 --> 00:49:00.639
That's why it's called words of comfort.
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:01.119
Yeah.
00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:06.719
When they leave this funeral, that's why I don't like when they open the casket after the preacher preached, like, I'm gonna comfort you now.
00:49:06.800 --> 00:49:08.639
You messed up again.
00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:12.079
So you want me to make you comfortable again?
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:17.679
Anyway, uh they leave the funeral like that's the last thing they remember.
00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:25.920
Before grandma, grandpa, brother, sister, nephew, uncle, dad, mom was taken out of the church.
00:49:27.039 --> 00:49:29.760
My voice was the last voice they heard.
00:49:30.079 --> 00:49:31.519
What did I say?
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:39.119
Last channel I preached, I talked about how you have your on your headstone, your tombstone, you have your birth date and your death date.
00:49:39.360 --> 00:49:41.280
But in between you have a dash.
00:49:41.679 --> 00:49:43.679
What did you do with your dash?
00:49:44.559 --> 00:49:47.199
The last thing I said, what did you do with your dash?
00:49:48.159 --> 00:49:58.159
And I mean, now it sounds, you know, riveting and earth-shattering, but boy, when I said it, I was like, oh, this is terrible.
00:49:58.559 --> 00:49:59.599
But they loved it.
00:49:59.840 --> 00:50:00.480
That's for good.
00:50:00.639 --> 00:50:01.519
Nah, that's hard.
00:50:01.679 --> 00:50:04.079
Yeah, so but I'm my biggest critic too.
00:50:04.239 --> 00:50:04.639
Yeah.
00:50:04.880 --> 00:50:11.679
So one thing that can blast in their head, besides all that, is some horrible singing.
00:50:11.840 --> 00:50:16.400
Like it's been some bad singing and some funerals, bro.
00:50:16.880 --> 00:50:20.719
It was I remember when my dad died.
00:50:21.119 --> 00:50:26.400
He lived in Cleveland, and uh my stepmom had this like niece.
00:50:27.119 --> 00:50:30.960
And the niece was like, oh, I'ma sing for Tony.
00:50:31.199 --> 00:50:32.719
Boy, she talked all week.
00:50:32.800 --> 00:50:33.760
Ooh, I'ma sing.
00:50:34.079 --> 00:50:35.840
She ain't gonna sing, she's gonna sing.
00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:39.760
I'm like, bet, she's gonna sing for my daddy.
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:43.280
I'm up there, my son is sitting next to me because he's my little armor bearer.
00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:45.440
Like, when I go places to preach, my son be with me.
00:50:45.519 --> 00:50:50.079
He was little at the time, like, not little, little, he's like 10, 11 years old.
00:50:50.239 --> 00:50:52.079
But you still couldn't rush the pulpit on me.
00:50:52.159 --> 00:50:53.280
Like, quaddy get you.
00:50:53.440 --> 00:50:55.840
You might throw him out the way, but I got time to run now.
00:50:55.920 --> 00:50:57.519
I gotta sacrifice him for me.
00:50:57.679 --> 00:50:58.400
You know what I mean?
00:50:58.639 --> 00:51:00.239
So I'm just playing, y'all.
00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:04.559
But uh she like, I'm gonna sing for your daddy.
00:51:04.880 --> 00:51:06.719
So we get to the funeral.
00:51:07.199 --> 00:51:09.039
And she's so emotional.
00:51:11.039 --> 00:51:12.320
It was terrible.
00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:15.039
She goes, See.
00:51:15.519 --> 00:51:16.480
It was so bad.
00:51:16.719 --> 00:51:22.079
This lady in the audience got up, walked up there, took the mic, and started singing.
00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:23.920
Yo.
00:51:24.159 --> 00:51:27.760
And I'm sitting here at this in this funeral.
00:51:28.239 --> 00:51:28.960
It's packed.
00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:31.199
My dad know everybody, it's standing room only.
00:51:31.440 --> 00:51:33.440
Everybody's looking at me.
00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:44.880
So I'm gonna feel like I gotta, like, I have to have this stoic facial expression.
00:51:46.320 --> 00:51:47.199
Rose back.
00:51:48.400 --> 00:51:53.119
And then after the funeral, she was like, How did I do?
00:51:56.480 --> 00:51:57.760
What'd you say?
00:51:58.079 --> 00:51:58.719
I lied.
00:51:58.800 --> 00:52:00.400
I was like, you did good, girl.
00:52:00.559 --> 00:52:01.280
That's crazy.
00:52:01.440 --> 00:52:03.119
I was coming back to Kansas City, so whatever.
00:52:04.159 --> 00:52:06.559
You gotta ride this one out from Cleveland on your own.
00:52:06.639 --> 00:52:08.159
I'm going back to Kansas City.
00:52:08.320 --> 00:52:09.440
That's hilarious.
00:52:09.679 --> 00:52:10.880
How did I do?
00:52:11.199 --> 00:52:12.480
She said, How did I do?
00:52:13.360 --> 00:52:15.039
Thanks for taking the mic from you wasn't.
00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:23.599
Yeah, man.
00:52:23.840 --> 00:52:24.400
You serious?
00:52:24.559 --> 00:52:25.840
I'm dead serious.
00:52:27.519 --> 00:52:29.280
But at the end, she did her job.
00:52:29.440 --> 00:52:34.000
Hey, whether it was good or bad, she did what we asked her to come and do.
00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:35.440
Hey, listen.
00:52:36.639 --> 00:52:38.239
I appreciate you.
00:52:38.639 --> 00:52:39.599
This was good.
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:42.559
I appreciate you coming through, man.
00:52:43.360 --> 00:52:46.239
I wish we could have got a lot more info.
00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:49.039
You know, you can only go for so long.
00:52:49.119 --> 00:52:50.559
But it is good.
00:52:51.599 --> 00:52:53.840
This is like church to see you.
00:52:54.239 --> 00:52:56.480
Go somewhere you preach good, but you don't give it off.
00:52:56.639 --> 00:52:56.800
Yeah.
00:52:56.960 --> 00:52:57.920
Now you gotta bring me back.
00:52:58.079 --> 00:52:58.400
Yeah.
00:52:58.719 --> 00:52:59.599
It's good to see.
00:53:00.159 --> 00:53:01.360
That's the good thing about it.
00:53:01.440 --> 00:53:01.920
Yeah.
00:53:02.159 --> 00:53:04.960
It is good to see what, 20-something years later.
00:53:05.199 --> 00:53:05.760
20 years later.
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:07.119
We just had our 20th year of reunion.
00:53:07.280 --> 00:53:07.679
Are you still?
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:08.320
Where were you?
00:53:08.719 --> 00:53:08.960
Man.
00:53:09.679 --> 00:53:10.639
Probably here.
00:53:11.440 --> 00:53:13.039
Well, we was at Bud Park.
00:53:13.280 --> 00:53:13.519
Right.
00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:15.119
I probably was here though.
00:53:15.440 --> 00:53:18.239
Because I felt like I had a pod to shoot or something like that.
00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:20.079
But I saw the pictures and was pissed.
00:53:20.159 --> 00:53:21.039
Like it was cool.
00:53:21.360 --> 00:53:22.000
They looked like that.
00:53:22.239 --> 00:53:26.960
So then they got your young pictures flipping up to your old older pictures.
00:53:27.360 --> 00:53:27.840
Oh my God.
00:53:29.119 --> 00:53:30.719
It was good to see everybody, man.
00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:34.960
And you know, just to see us, man, we're doing good.
00:53:35.679 --> 00:53:38.480
You know, we have a few that you see and you're like, dang.
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:44.719
But for the most part, man, we're doing pretty good from where we from what we had to work with.
00:53:44.880 --> 00:53:45.519
Yeah.
00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:46.960
Man, we're doing pretty good.
00:53:47.280 --> 00:53:50.719
Think like a graduating class at 150 or something like that.
00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:52.159
Well, I barely made it.
00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:53.679
Yeah, me too.
00:53:53.920 --> 00:53:55.440
But I wasn't a bad kid.
00:53:55.920 --> 00:53:57.760
I just didn't do homework.
00:53:58.079 --> 00:53:59.360
I hated it.
00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:00.960
I was high.
00:54:01.679 --> 00:54:05.280
But um, you want to close this out, leave us marked out.
00:54:05.599 --> 00:54:06.159
Absolutely.
00:54:06.239 --> 00:54:06.960
Let's pray.
00:54:07.039 --> 00:54:11.920
Uh, most gracious and heavenly father, we just first want to say thank you.
00:54:12.239 --> 00:54:18.239
Thank you for this opportunity to come and talk about life and talk about you.
00:54:18.559 --> 00:54:27.519
Lord, I pray that in this podcast, in this video, that someone's life is impacted in the way that if they've strayed from you, they come back.
00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:32.400
If they're questioning the realness of you, they don't have any more doubt.
00:54:32.719 --> 00:54:45.920
Lord, I ask that if there's anybody battling anything, carrying anything, I cancel the assignment of the enemy, and I decree and declare that anything that is not like you is beneath the feet of you and your angels.
00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:46.719
Lord, we thank you.
00:54:46.880 --> 00:54:48.320
We love you, we honor you.
00:54:48.559 --> 00:54:50.159
Thank you for this opportunity.
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:58.960
And Lord, bless my brother as we leave this place, keep them safe, away from our hurt, harm, and danger, and let this podcast be a light in the midst of a dark place.
00:54:59.360 --> 00:55:00.639
In Jesus' name we pray.
00:55:00.719 --> 00:55:01.039
Amen.
00:55:02.480 --> 00:55:04.320
Kept my eyes open because the Lord said, watch.
00:55:04.960 --> 00:55:06.639
Somebody might have came in here while we was praying.
00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:07.679
Got us, boy.
00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:10.719
The goal is to leave a lasting imprint on their minds and their hearts.
00:55:10.800 --> 00:55:12.639
We pray you've been indelibly marked.
00:55:13.920 --> 00:55:14.559
My man.
00:55:17.199 --> 00:55:18.239
Appreciate you, man.
00:55:18.960 --> 00:55:20.239
Hey, this was fun.