A 90-Second Nervous System Reset That Fits Your Real Life (Simple + Stackable)

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Welcome to Imperfectly Courageous Podcast.
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I'm Miriam.
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This is a place we stop trying to think our way out of feeling stuck and start coming home to who we already are.
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Let's get into it.
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Right now, in the season of life, an uninterrupted 20 minutes might be hard to come by.
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And I mean this season, literally, it's July.
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The school year structure is gone.
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And if your house is anything like mine, you're living the summer shuffle.
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Camp drop-offs and pickups, summer leagues, the tuna programs, maybe summer school, depending on your kids' ages.
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And on the in-between days, the kids are just home more often.
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And suddenly you're not only the driver and the scheduler and the chef and the snack department.
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You're the entertainment.
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And to and to that, the vacation math, planning one, or quietly grieving that there isn't one this year, and that conversations that aren't easy to have in the middle of all this togetheredness, 20 quiet minutes, not where you're at yet.
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And that's okay.
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That's not a character flaw.
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That's a season.
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And maybe you've tried the apps, the routines, the 20-day challenges, and they didn't stick because they were built for a different season than the one you're in.
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So today I'm going to equip you with something that fits the life you actually have.
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90 seconds.
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Simple, doable, stackable.
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Because the name of the game here is keeping it simple and letting it stack.
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Small things done consistently are what actually move the needle in your life.
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This is the exact reset I use in the cam pickup line in the parking lot before I walk into the next thing.
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In the 90 seconds between one person needing me and the next person needing me, it's small enough that you always have time for it.
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And it works because it's built for a nervous system in a full season.
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Let me tell you where this practice actually lives in my life.
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It's a parking lot.
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In the winter, it's a hockey rink.
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Right now, it's a summer league, the tuna program, the camp pickup loop.
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Every mom listening knows exactly the one I mean.
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Yours might be a gym, a pool deck, a field, a campgate.
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And there was a stretch when I realized I was arriving everywhere, already depleted.
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I'd pull into the parking lot with my shoulders up around my ears, my jaw tight, my mind still the three conversations back, and then I'd walk in and try to be present, patient, and cheerful, on empty.
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And one evening I just sat there two minutes before going in, feet on the floor of the car, one long breath out, and I noticed something that honestly humbled me.
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I couldn't remember the last time I had exhaled all the way.
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Not that day, maybe not that week.
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But that's what running on autopilot does.
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You're not even breathing like a person at rest.
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You're breathing like a woman permanently bracing for the next thing.
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So this episode is me handing you the thing I found in that parking lot.
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One quick piece of signs so you trust it, because this isn't a cute breath work trick, it's biology.
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When you're overwhelmed, the problem isn't your thoughts, it's your state.
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Your body is sitting in a low grade fight or flight, stress hormones up, muscles braced, breath shallow, and here's the key: you cannot think your way out of a body that believes it's under threat.
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We talked about this in the 95%.
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The deeper part of you doesn't speak the language of logic, but it does speak breath.
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Your exhale is wired directly to the calming branch of your nervous system, the parasympathetic side, the rest and restore side.
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When you exhale, when your exhale is longer than your inhale, it's pressing on a physiological off-switch.
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Your heart rate slows, the alarm's quiet, you don't have to believe anything, affirm anything, or fix anything.
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It's mechanical.
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It works even on the days you don't.
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That's why this is 90 seconds and not 20 minutes.
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We're not trying to transcend, we're just flipping the switch.
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Okay, wherever you are, if it's safe, not while you're driving, let's do this together.
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So put both feet on flat on the floor, press them down just a little.
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Feel the floor push back.
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It's holding you.
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You can stop holding yourself up for a second.
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Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of four, and out through your mouth for a count of six.
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Remember, the long exhale is a whole trick.
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In, two, three, four.
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And out, two, three, four, five, six.
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Again, in through the nose, slow and low.
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And out, even slower.
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Let your shoulders drop on the way down.
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One more.
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And this time as you exhale, let your jaw unclench.
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You didn't even know it was clenched, did you?
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Bring one hand to the center of your chest.
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Just let it rest there.
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Warm.
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This isn't symbolic.
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Touch is a real signal of safety to your body.
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Give yourself one sentence, silently or out loud.
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I'm allowed to be a person, not a project, even now, even today.
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And let your hand fall.
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That's it.
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That's the whole thing.
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Notice you're half a step more here than you were 90 seconds ago.
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Your breath is lower.
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Your shoulders are somewhere near where they belong.
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You didn't need 20 minutes.
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You needed 90 seconds and permission.
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Now, here's how you make this yours.
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Because knowing a tool and using a tool are two different lives.
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Don't wait until you're falling apart.
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A reset works best before the spiral, not in the middle of it.
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So attach it to something you already do every day without thinking.
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James Clear writes about this in Atomic Habits.
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He calls it habit stacking.
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After a habit you have already have, you stack the new one right on top.
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No willpower required because the old habit becomes the reminder.
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It's the only reason anything new sticks in a full life.
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So here's some ideas.
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Steal whichever one fits the summer.
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The moment you put the car in park at camp pickup or the summer league, 90 seconds before the kids pile in, they can wait, I promise.
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Or the pause before you walk back into the house on a day the kids have been home with you since breakfast.
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Resetting midday counts too.
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Maybe before a conversation you've been bracing for.
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The vacation plan talks, the money talk, the family talk.
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90 seconds first changes how you show up to it.
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Right after you plunge your phone into the charger at night.
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And file this away for the future because seasons change and this tool comes with you.
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Come September, it's a school line.
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On workdays, it's the parking garage before you walk into the office or the front door when you walk out of work mode and into home.
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Same 90 seconds, different threshold.
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Arriving to your own life on purpose.
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Do it once today.
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That's a whole assignment.
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Not a new routine, not a new identity, not a 40-day challenge, but just once.
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And I want to say one bigger thing about why 90 seconds matters more than it looks.
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Every time you do this, you're not just calming down in the moment.
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You're teaching your body a new rule.
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We are allowed to pause in the middle of the day.
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Safety doesn't require finishing the list.
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And that rule, repeat in the parking lots and the kitchens and the hallways, is how the deeper pattern starts to shift.
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Not through one dramatic breakthrough, but through 90 seconds again and again until your nervous system believes you.
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Small doors, that's how we come home.
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So this is the thread that runs through everything here.
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We're not adding one more heavy thing to your play.
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We're letting go of the idea that coming home has to be big or slow or perfect.
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90 seconds counts, and 90 seconds is the work.
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And I'd love to hear how it lands.
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Email me at hello at connectwithmariam.com and tell me where you used it first.
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The parking lot, the picking up line, the bathroom with the door locked.
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And if you're realizing you want more than 90 seconds, if something in you is asking for the deeper work, that's exactly what I do with the women I coach.
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Same email, the door is open.
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Thank you for spending the time with me.
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Try the reset once before Monday.
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Just once, and notice what it opens.
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Monday we go back to the heart.
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We're going to talk about the strange grief of being so good at everything that you're barely present for any of it.
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Until then, be imperfectly courageous.