Ep. 3 | Aby-Jo Elshot: The Reality of Modeling, Beauty Standards & Identity

SUPERSHARDA: Hi my beautiful people. Welcome to another episode of Identity Spectrum with Super Sharda. And as usual, I always have a very special guest. Today we're here with AB Joe Elshot. If you know me, you know that I'm big in modeling and She's one of the reasons that I also got inspired to check out this modeling fashion world. And I thought it would be a very, very great talk if you could, you know, share experiences. And I know there are a lot of people who are also very curious about the modeling world and also how it actually is, because it can be very, very mysterious for people who are not directly involved. So today we have AB Joe here who spent twenty more than twenty-five years navigating the world of fashion, beauty, entrepreneurship, and creativity. She has walked runways, judged international competitions, coached aspiring models and beauty queens, as well as built successful businesses. So yeah, it's more than modeling actually. So everybody buckle up because you will witness a beautiful conversation between two of the few international models from Surinama who have actually made it successfully out that out there. So I really, I'm really, really happy and grateful to welcome A. B. Joe El Shad.
Aby-Jo: Thank you for having me, Sharda. Hello everyone.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah, so I know if you've you've told this story many times of course, but it would be really great for the audience to be reminded, like, you know, how did you actually get into modeling? What was what was the initial idea of doing it?
Aby-Jo: Well, actually, I didn't have the dream of being a model per se. I had a very strong passion for designing. And as a young child I wanted to become a designer. So as far as I can remember, I was four years old. That's that's as far as I can go back. I always played dress up, but yeah, which child didn't. But I was always altering clothes, altering bags, altering jewelry of my mom, which irritated her greatly because I was like tearing up clothes and making other stuff out of it. wearing her shoes a around the house, making pictures with my dad's film. Film, you know, it's not the the digital things we have right now, but real the real photo how do you say that? The the cameras from back then not the digital like the real yeah cameras and you know when he went to develop the roles he would always find pictures of me randomly in it with with my supposed designs and I made drawings. I had always ideas like what kind of clothes I would want to wear and how it should
SUPERSHARDA: The book yeah, digital not digital, polaro it's even you can say.
Aby-Jo: you know, look like or how I would want to see someone dressed. I always my grandma was a seamstress also, and I had many people around me that were seamstresses. So they always wanted to make things for me and they they always find it funny that I came with a drawing ready and was like, okay, so this is what it needs to have. Like this is my the the the way my neck needs to be or the the sleeves or this color or blah blah blah. You know?
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: So that was my dream. And back then we had CN yeah, CNN news was one of the many the the few things we could see on the TV back then. I mean it's the beginning nineties. and then we had CNN style, that was a segment from CNN, and when I discovered that I was hooked as a a little girl. Every day I was watching CNN style because it was about designers. not only in America but internationally, and they always were reviewing the designers, having interviews, watching the model showing it, and all the shows around the world, and I just loved it. And I was like, that's what I wanna do, I wanna become a designer. So my creativity was always very high. I was one of the best with drawing, with you know the creative part at school making a lot of creative product projects I went to Nola Hatterman Institute also liked I I really love drawing. Still do but I don't do a lot of it anymore. but then when I became a teenager I started singing also. I discovered I like singing so then I started singing. I started competing in contests, singing contests. Then I started singing with Sherry Lenegar. You know, she was one of my best friends back then. We started singing in Torarica, in different places, the saloon, we had different private parties where we would sing together. It was a a fun time of in my life, very creative again. And then I rolled into modeling as well. simul simultaneously because my mom was worried because I was always tall and I was always you know walking like kind of hunched. Yeah. Yeah. And she didn't like that because she was like, you wanna become a designer, you wanna be in the fashion. You cannot walk like that. You have to be straight. You have don't make yourself small. So she tried different things. She put me on ballet classes. She put me on
SUPERSHARDA: Buckle to the f hunch to the front, Jen, with your shoulders.
Aby-Jo: different sports classes just to you know correct my my my posture and then she saw an audition in Tararica for it wasn't an audition per se that she saw it was like a workshop to teach young ladies how to walk straight and how have how to have a good posture etc so she signed me up
SUPERSHARDA: Poster.
Aby-Jo: without me knowing and then one day she was like, Okay, let's go. We're going to Tradica. I signed you up for a workshop, How to Walk Like a Lady. And when I when I entered the room, it was actually an audition and not a workshop. It was an audition for a a fashion show. And I still didn't know. They were giving me instructions like walk like this, in a straight line, give me a post, walk back. And I was like, but I don't even know how to do a pose. That's no problem, just do what you what you think that's right. Luckily, my mom trained me at home f you know, like a little bit with what she knew. walk straight, put your hands to the back, you know, chin up, and just walk. So that's what I did. And the lady after that told me, you know, wait in the lobby, we're gonna call you back if you're getting through. And I was like, getting through to what? The workshop? Do I need to, you know?
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. Yeah.
Aby-Jo: No, you just wait. And then after an hour or so of waiting, my mom was with me and she was like, But why is it taking so long? The the lady came back and she was like, Yeah, congratulations. your daughter is true for the fashion show. The fashion show is in a month in the Tradica Panquet Hall. And my mom was like, Wait, what? wasn't it a workshop of how to walk like a lady? And she was like, Yeah, the workshop was before this. This is an audition. So I think you got the the hours twisted or any something like that. But anyway, my mom asked me, like, do you want to do this? Is it something you want to do? And I was like, Yeah, I can try. I mean, if you don't try, you don't know. So I signed up for it. I did a fashion show. I was nervous that I was so nervous because I did not know how it all went. I didn't know this this whole world, you know. But everyone was very nice and respectful and I had a very good time. My I can remember my mom was so proud she was in the crowd, you know, making a lot of noise. And after that everything went very fast. After that, I was asked to model in in different ads. I don't even remember because it was so much. and then after a year or something I was asked To model for promo life and promo life was a very it started small, it was a tight-knit group of models, and they were promoting businesses every last Monday of the month. And you could, as a business owner, as a boutique owner, you could sign up to let your product be shown by these models. But it was not only a fashion show, it was more of an entertainment show because the models were not only, you know, showing the clothes, but it was very You know, with lots of entertainment around it and it was always in a different location, never at the same location. And it was always live on TV. So it was not recorded pre recorded and then, you know, broadcasted. But everyone in the beginning it was very nice, but after a couple of months everyone was following Promo Life. Everyone was waiting for Promo Life because every month we were brainstorming like, okay, what are we gonna do to make this one more special than the month before? What is gonna make this one attract even more people? And then what happened was we did not have to go to the the the stores anymore. The stores came to us because they saw how much pool it had, this program, and how how much people went after that to go buy this because A B Joe was wearing that on your show, or Andy was wearing those pair of pants on your show. I want those pants. So we were kind of like the first influencers back then. But with then a live TV fashion show. So that was nice. Yeah, it was it was cool. We had street parties, we had roads blocked off with these shows. in Nikeri we went also. We had whole Paramaribo went to Nikeri for the promo live fashion show because there was gonna be an after party. The club offered us the the club Zeppelin.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: They offered us a after party for the show. They offered us a place that everyone could go and meet the models and meet this or meet that. And it was really, really, a really great experience. And after that a whole lot of other agencies started to come because Promo Life wasn't a agency, it was just a collective, you know, everyone was just joining together and working together. And but after that a lot of agencies started modeling agencies and they wanted to do the same concept, you know. Unfortunately, promo life did not survive. after a couple of I think two years or something, it just stopped. we went our own separate ways. We tried to, you know, do some work together still, you know, because we were kind of like a family, but everyone went their own separate ways and it was alright. I just continued with my career.
SUPERSHARDA: Okay. Before we go to that part of of your life, I want to I want to say like I really remember the part of promo life and also Dignity Inc., right? And having all those fashion shows. I remember that I I actually went to one show and for me it was a big deal. I was like, wow. Now I'm not just watching for
Aby-Jo: After that, yeah.
SUPERSHARDA: back home, you know, in front of the TV, I'm literally there. So it was that's a big deal. So I can really imagine. and also I think it's very special is that you were not just walking, participating, you were part of the team. You know, everybody was part of the team and brainstorming on how to create a show the next time. So actually from from the beginning you were already doing more than just modeling. You were really putting into in your your creativity into it.
Aby-Jo: Yeah. Yes.
SUPERSHARDA: So I I would like to take dive deeper in the fact that, you know, oftentimes modeling is seen as something that is very how is it glamorous, you know, something that you that that you know everybody just wants to be in front of in front of TV on on TV or on a billboard, but as you are experiencing it,
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: There may be different experiences and a lot of models have spoken up about it. In that beginning time of your modeling career, because of course you had a another part where you also went international. In a beginning time, were there any questions, things that you experienced and and were you questioned yourself, like, you know, is this really what I want to do, or this would change in the in the business?
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. In the beginning no, because I was very much protected by my mom. She was really my manager. So I was protected against everything that seemingly would go left, you know? And she would always have conversations with everyone who hired me. She was the one having the conversation and she was telling them like she's gonna do A, B, and C but she will not do XYZ, you know? she
SUPERSHARDA: Wow.
Aby-Jo: old enough, she I want I am here to protect her and if you if you don't agree to these these these rules that I have in place, these terms, then she will not participate. So everyone was yeah, of course we agree, so everyone was careful around me and so I'm glad that I had that in the beginning. So but at the at the same time I didn't know what the other side was of the material.
SUPERSHARDA: So Hmm.
Aby-Jo: Right? So when I was finally alone, let my let me not say finally, but when I had to deal with these things on my own, when my mom was not there anymore to help me or to manage me, then I experienced some weird things and requests and situations that you either run away from and you say no more, I don't want to do this ever again. Or you start thinking for yourself, like, what are you gonna do? Because you still love doing this job. You still you either love it or you hate it. If you're not built for it, you're I think you will not succeed. If you don't have a bigger fission or you know if you don't see yourself going a certain direction, you will not succeed. So I remember Yeah. So when I was
SUPERSHARDA: Can you elaborate on some stuff that you've experienced?
Aby-Jo: When I was eighteen, nineteen years old, I was approached by a guy and he claimed to have a modeling modeling agency in the Netherlands, but he lived here. But I was young, so I you know, I didn't I didn't know what to to do with that information. It was like, Yeah, I know you, you are one of Suriname's pop most popular models and I would like to represent you in in the Netherlands. And I was like, okay, but I live here. I'm going to school here. Yeah, that's no problem. You can come to the Netherlands. We can do everything. We can pay everything for you. just come, but I will have to do a photo shoot with you to make your comp card. So at that point I was like, okay, but what will it cost? Because I know nothing is for free. And he said, Yeah, no, no problem. We're just gonna make this comp card and start.
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm.
Aby-Jo: getting the ball rolling and once you're in then we can discuss all the costs. I was like, mm, okay. we made the plans to do a photo shoot. it was not gonna be in the city. It was gonna be outside. I if I remember correctly, in the neighborhood of Kola Creek or something. but later as I got older I know that you don't have to do that outside of the city to make a Concord. You just need a a white background and just, you know, some normal shots. But I was young. I I I had I didn't look so I went with him and I was not alone. Khalukah I was not alone. I was with someone else and he tried to get me alone in the bushes to make pictures. He tried to get me away from that other person. But I think that other person was like
SUPERSHARDA: Wow, yeah. Mm. Mm.
Aby-Jo: seeing that something was not right and she was like, No, I'm gonna come with you, and you know, we shouldn't go that far. I mean the scene here is already beautiful. And I was getting more and more uncomfortable because he was constantly telling me, Let's do pictures like half naked up and you know, keep your bottoms on and all those kind of things. And I was just dodging it and telling him, No, I'm we're good like this. We can just, you know, do something, other poses that it seems like I'm naked on on the top. No, you just have to take it off. And then that other person, I'm not gonna, you know, call names, but she was like, you know what, let's wrap this up. I think you have your shots. Let's go back to the city. he was arguing with her. they were, you know, walking away and arguing, and I saw her put everything in the car.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: starting the car, it w it wasn't even her car, she started the car and she was like, Let's go. So I s I stepped in the car. The guy did not speak to me. He was mad as hell. And then after a couple of days he called me and he was like, You have to pay me this because as we agreed I was gonna make the pictures and then you know, on a later stadium. But I was like, it's a couple of days later. What is what is gonna happen? Are the pictures good? Are you gonna send it to the agency? What's gonna happen? No, you have to pay me now. then I will send it because I have to send it and it costs money. And I was like, but it's your agency, so what am I not getting? Yeah, you right? That was a whole thing. I said, you know what? I don't have the money right now to pay you. because we have not that's not what we agreed on. He was, you know, kind of harassing me, calling me, stalking me everywhere for that money. I didn't have that money. And you know.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: You're not gonna pressure me into things. That's not gonna happen. So I was like, you know what? Then hold the pictures, do with them whatever you like. I'm not gonna pay you. I don't need those pictures because I did not ask you for those pictures. So he just vanished. Thankfully, he just vanished. Never saw the pictures. until years later, I was already 26 or something. That lady that went with me to this the place outside. she gave me a couple of those pictures. She sent me those pictures and like this is what we did that day, and I'm sorry it went that way, you know. I'm sorry that it happened, but I'm thankful also that I was there to protect you. But because what if you were alone? What would he do with you? turns out he did not have an agency. He was just a perf. He was trying to be a photographer.
SUPERSHARDA: Yes. Hmm.
Aby-Jo: He was trying to make some money and he was trying to make that money on me without me knowing. But I don't know if he ever made money with the pictures. I don't know. I never saw him again. So that's tough. But that is one of the things that I experienced. But I was always a very careful person. because my mom taught me that. She always taught me to look at my surroundings, look at people, try to feel, you know, their vibes and
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: and see what they're about, ask questions, ask a lot of questions. And that's one lesson I really learned with that man, you know, to just stay away from certain people, certain types. of course I came into other situations where there was a lot of drug abuse, a lot of violence. No, that was in that was in Europe.
SUPERSHARDA: Інсорінамо. Hmm, yeah.
Aby-Jo: the models that that were I I had to work with. a lot of violence also. Violence how can I explain this? they were doing things to each other to to get them out of the the equation, like not to do not participate with that certain how do you say that?
SUPERSHARDA: Ac actually sabotaging, trying to sabotage somebody.
Aby-Jo: Yes, that's the word. That's the word. breaking your shoe, putting Yeah, putting needles in your clothes when you wear it, like those kind of things.
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm. We need models would do that to each other. Was that in a model apartment?
Aby-Jo: it was not in a model apartment, it was at the the place at the job. It was at the job. Mm-hmm. And you know
SUPERSHARDA: And the job. You know, I have experienced something similar, where I then this was when I was in China and my passport got stolen.
Aby-Jo: Wow. Wow.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. My pet luckily, you know, everything is well, but I do know that that happened. And in in your case with with the man, you know, this if if I look back at all of the the situations and jobs that I've done, there are many of those situations. And it really it I'm really happy for you that you had that lady with you and also the guidance that you received from your mom.
Aby-Jo: Yeah.
SUPERSHARDA: you as a as a child and a young adult, it's really the the education that you receive from your parents or the people that brought you up that that that bring you further in the sense that you know you know what are your morals, you know what you want to What what you're able to sacrifice and whatnot, you know, you know, you know how to stand your ground in a certain way, even if you don't realize it right away. But you do know like a something is not it's not correct the way that is happening. I sh I should I should back down. So I'm very happy that you that you had that. Because I've seen I've seen actually many models who it doesn't seem like they have it or they are not listening to their own intuition and interacting with people.
Aby-Jo: Yes, I
SUPERSHARDA: who don't have their best interest.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. That's the same what I see these days. the intuition is very important. And as I said, my mom teached me a lot of things, f especially in the spirit spirituality. And I am very blessed because every time if I think back, I came into a situation that was very toxic or you know, threatening to me. I was always for some reason protected.
SUPERSHARDA: So
Aby-Jo: by someone. There was always someone with me or in my surroundings that would, you know, protect me from damage, you know, from the bigger damage. So I think I was really blessed in that department because I was alone. It it was like, you know, it seemed like my mom was still with me and trying to help me through these things. Because there are a lot of more stories.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. Yes, I I can imagine. And I think also is the way that you that you interact with people, right? people want to help people that they can connect with. So they they realize that, you know, I need to I need to protect this this young model. So I'm wondering, in your career, what would you say is is something that that you're really proud of or that
Aby-Jo: Mm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: has been the height of your career that you re that you really achieved so far in modeling.
Aby-Jo: my height of my career I would say is all I I would say the fashion weeks because and it doesn't matter which fashion week why I say all the fashion weeks is because there I could elevate as a model and I could network with a lot of more people which I am still in contact with to this day. And everywhere I went, I made very good friendships. And the the way I could see myself back, I would never imagine as a young girl, you know? And I would say the fashion weeks, because catwalk is really what I love. You know, modeling has different segments, different categories, but I really love the catwalk. And I learned so much on the catwalk. But no, I'm gonna correct this. What I achieved that I really loved was the Miss Caribbean Queen in 2001. Because that was something I really did not see myself doing being a pageant. What had happened was every year Surinam Suriname was a participant in the Caribbean Queen contest. And Miss Surinam Miss Surinamo should be then the participant. But because you know, there was a period of time that Suriname did not have the Miss Suriname pageant. So there were no participants. But then the organization reached out to Suriname again, like, do you have someone to come to participate? Because we miss Suriname we miss Surinama joining in this contest because all of the participating. So the organization here was like, No, we don't have anyone, but then
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: One lady said, We do have someone, but she's not a pageant, but she has all the qualifications. and she has, you know, she can participate for Surinama. So they reached out to my mom. Asked, is it okay if your daughter participates as Miss Suriname in The Miss Caribbean Queen? And my mom was like, Hmm, let me ask her. I don't know. So she asked me and I was like, but what do they expect me to do on a Miss? I don't know. You're like, I I I don't see myself as a pageant. No, you have everything, you have stage presence, you have a talent, you're smart, you're going to school, you're you know, just do it and see what you think about it. It's an experience. So I was like, okay, let me try it. So I went into this program. they trained me for it. I had two, three months before the competition. they the organization was really good.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: They looked out, they had many sponsors for me, for my clothing, to my food, to my trip there, to like everything. Everything was taken care of. Yeah, everything. So I just had to train myself. I had a talent. I was training with Borghard Briefeld, he was my talent trainer. We did a song together, a composit a a composition.
SUPERSHARDA: Everything was sponsored, yeah, taken care of.
Aby-Jo: I had speech talent, speech training, you know, everything that comes with it. It was a really good experience. I went to St. Martin because there was the competition, and I was the youngest among all the participants. I was 16 years old. And everyone was like, But you're a baby. Because all the contestants were twenty plus, right? And we had interviews, everything was in English, by the way. And
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: Then the day of the show came. I was sick. I was so sick. I got some kind of fever. My s my voice was gone and I had to sing. I had fever I had a very high fever. I was sitting with cold, you know, compressors on my body just to be ready for the show. I did not want to drop out. So everyone was like, again, everyone was like, my god, AB, are you okay? Everyone was taking care of me. And I didn't do well at the the talent round obviously, but the rest was very good. I did everything, you know, the and then I turned out to be second runner up. So with everything that yeah, with everything that happened, how I felt, I was sick as a dog, I turned out second runner up. I had other sub prizes also, so I was I was happy.
SUPERSHARDA: That's an accomplishment. Yeah. It does a success, yeah. And you
Aby-Jo: Yeah. And then I came back to Suriname, Surinama and they you know, everyone came to Sandere to pick me up with police escort and you know, life life interviews and everything. It was a real, really great experience, I must say. Yeah. So that was a very high yeah, high achievement.
SUPERSHARDA: The for sure that was like kind of the queen of Surnum. You were really appreciated and taken care of. So you you were actually you actually started as a model and then suddenly you you ended up participating in a miss competition. How how what do you consider to be the differences and and where do you see that modeling and and miss contestant have to have the same skills?
Aby-Jo: Kind of, kind of, yeah. Yeah. And a yeah. The differences are basically a pageant is representative of the c of your country. You're more of a ambassador for your country. whereas a model is hired to work for a company, for a brand, and just be the ambassador for that brand at that moment, not for your country. So it's a whole big difference. but
SUPERSHARDA: I'm happy you said you said it that way because I think there's a lot of confusion for for people. They they think that modeling is the same as being a miss or a miss is the same as being a model. It's it's a really big difference. It's a different responsibility that you have and also the way that you conduct yourself. Yeah.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. But then the things we the things that they have in common are the stage presence. You do have to have a stage presence. you have to connect with your your audience, even if you're doing a photo shoot versus a catwalk or a runway. You do have to have the connectivity with your audience in some way. So
SUPERSHARDA: Similarities. You you're a performer, yeah. It's it's it's it's it's still part of entertainment, yeah.
Aby-Jo: Yeah. You have to be a performer, yeah. Yes, yes. And try to, you know, stick out of the crowd. Like, you know, when you have a whole crowd of models or a whole crowd of pageants, you have to do your best to be, you know, one of the best. Mm-hmm. That's
SUPERSHARDA: So how did you go from being a model in Suriname and then making it international? Because that's always the the big thing is the big leap because we don't have like other countries a big fashion industry in Suriname. So if you want to make it international, you have to go out of the country. And it's usually in the US or in Europe. But also f to be able to leave the country is a big leap because one, the
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: the tickets to the connection, you need to have a network, you need to know where you're going. it's good if you have family over there. So how was it for you to actually do that? Was it something that you plan, that you look forward to, or just on the way, progress to eventually also going international?
Aby-Jo: Well, I didn't plan to go international but it was it was a a a dream, you know, to do it. What happened was I I already was in How can I explain this easily? Before my mom passed away, I went to St. Martin, right? I did there the pageant and I had a lot of opportunities coming my way that period. also we were in talks with a scout that scouted me in Surinama. My mom was in was having conversations with him and he was for La Perle. I don't know if you know that brand. He was a scout for La Perle. And then my mom passed away suddenly after the pageant. It was two, three months after that. So everything changed. as some people may know, some people don't know, I lost in one day everything. So I didn't have guidance whatsoever anymore. my dad did not understand this world, so he could not guide me in it.
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Help you navigate it, yeah.
Aby-Jo: Yeah. And I didn't have anyone that really, you know, could guide me in in in this. So everything stopped. Everything stopped for an X amount of years. So that dream died a a little bit of going international. But then I met up with some people that that I had a good fight with, a good connection with, very creative people as well. And with them I connected and With them we planned to go abroad, you know, to do modeling for them mainly because they were designers and I was their model. I was the face of their brand and they wanted to go abroad. They wanted to bring me along with them. So that's where it started to go. The dream, you know, started to live again. And
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: I was afraid actually to go in all the way because of all the disappointments that I had previously. I was like, it can stop any moment now, you know, so don't give it everything. But that was wrong of me, but I didn't know. So a couple of years I did that. I went with them and after a while I tried it on my own. I was like, you know what.
SUPERSHARDA: Mm.
Aby-Jo: Let's go a different route. Let's go to the Netherlands and see how it goes there. I went with I went to a cousin of mine in in Den Haag and she really she really supported me also. She helped me connect with people, another cousin of me in Amsterdam also. She helped me connect with a lot of people. Eventually I was hired by three modeling agencies in the Netherlands. And why three? Because you know, you get different you see which one is the is better for you and which one you know takes it serious. Because that time in the Netherlands, everyone was like, every agency I went to was like, but we already have a black model, so no, thank you. It was always the same thing. We always we already have one. I was like, at the at the third or fourth agency, I was like, but why do you only have one? Is it a rule that you should only have one? Or is it something that black models don't have that white models have? I didn't understand that rule that they have. And they were like, huh? Not getting my question. But then three modeling agencies they took me on. And of course for them it was better if I stayed in the Netherlands and I could do much more work then. So I was hired almost every week, every weekend I should go to Luxembourg, then to b Deritzla Germany, then you know, France I went. So it went good, but then you get the issue with your passport, with your visa, with tickets, because the pay wasn't that great that she could buy a ticket always and every time. So I had to come back to Surinama, save money. I had my own business already, I was a nail technician.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: I was working, I was studying at the same time, for cosmetology. so I was trying to save every dime I had to go back. The plan was I'm going back, I'm going to try for a work visa and stay there. my cousin was helping me from there. She was like, you know what, maybe it's better if you come here on a on a study visa. Let's put you in a school and then you know you can stay and work. So that was the plan. I went back to the Netherlands, got back into the jobs because the jobs were lining up. and all the while trying to get my, you know, stay in order and paperwork and everything. But I could not and I did not want to stay in the Netherlands. I couldn't. I just like I just I I couldn't. All the walls were getting you know, it was
SUPERSHARDA: What was it about it?
Aby-Jo: I can put too too much indoor, you know, spaces and too much cold and I I just couldn't. And after two months, I told my cousin, like, you know what? If these modeling agencies really want me to stay here, they should come up with some better jobs for me. Otherwise I'm gonna go back, you know? And she was like, No, why try stay?
SUPERSHARDA: No
Aby-Jo: I was like, you know, no, I cannot stay. I'm gonna go back to Surinama. If there's something coming up for me that's better, that's you know, that I have a reason to stay, then I will stay. But if it's not, you know, then I'm not gonna stay here. So I just I just cut that one short. I came back to Surinama. I started to work a lot, not not with modeling anymore, but more of guidance. I was training more people, I was hired to be a pageant trainer.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: I was acting, I was always doing all also doing movies. so I was I was always busy in it. Always starting my own things. so yeah, that's how that's how it went. That's how it went. I didn't stay there because I just could not find
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah, I can imagine how you felt. I can imagine how you felt when it comes to the environment in in Europe. and also with modeling, you know, you don't work every day, not necessarily. So there are times when you just have nothing to do when it comes to work. Then you have to be in an environment where you're not not really enjoying much. and and and any Suriname who has, you know, lived in Suriname and also been abroad understands like the way we live here is very open.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: sunshine, you know, you have your privacy and you can also just run around, but yeah.
Aby-Jo: And run around and be outside. Most important thing is I'm always afraid. I was always afraid to struggle. I was always to free afraid. I'm not materialistic. Let's not confuse that. But I was always afraid to be struggling. And I didn't want to struggle, knowing full well that if I'm in my country, I will not struggle. Because I know my drive. I know what I can do. I know what I can do on my own. So I was like, I want to do what I'm good at.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. Yeah.
Aby-Jo: And in my country I have the freedom to do everything that I'm good at, making my money, traveling as much as I want. But in the Netherlands I felt stuck. I really felt stuck. And I I was like, no, let me go back, re you know, reset myself, see which w which way I can go to. after that I get stu I I still I still modeled, that's what I said. I wasn't completely gone. I went to St. Martin again. I did some jobs there. As I said, I had contacts contact with the people there. So they were like, Yeah, we have some jobs here, can you come? The jobs paid more than I got paid in the Netherlands. So I was like, Yeah, sure, you know, why not? So
SUPERSHARDA: And they would also pay for your flight ticket or you have to do that yourself?
Aby-Jo: Yeah. My flight ticket, but the the stay,
SUPERSHARDA: The hotel and transport.
Aby-Jo: The hotel and transport was for me, right? And food. But as I said, they they paid so much more that I could cover my ticket again. they paid for the ticket, but I could cover ticket I could cover my hotel, I could cover everything. So and I had a little bit left for me. So I was like Yeah. So I was like, Yeah, sure, I'm gonna do that, no problem. yeah. So I focused on myself here. I built my business here. I
SUPERSHARDA: Okay. Yeah. That's a much better deal. Awesome.
Aby-Jo: met my partner, she has the same drive as I am, even more, I think, because she pushes me to the limit with everything that I do. And we we get things done that I could not myself doing in another country.
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Awesome. I I was wondering when you were working, especially outside of Suriname, did you encounter any issues or let's say that any comments? How did you handle because as a model your your body that's that's technically your your image is what actually is needed, right? How did you feel the fact that the stylist being around you, doing your hair. You already mentioned the fact about that the back then they only wanted one black model or non-white model. The irony is when I started I would hear the same thing. So that thing lasted for a long time. But did you have any issues with that that they would maybe say like okay your weight or the size, your measurements or your height.
Aby-Jo: Uh-huh. Yeah. About my height it was always good. I had no issues about that, but my size was always a problem. My hair was always a problem. My makeup was always a problem. they always told me I heard the weirdest things. Then sometimes I was my nose was too big, my hair was too curly, you know? or they couldn't handle it. I always had to do my
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm.
Aby-Jo: bring my own makeup and even if I brought my own makeup they would fuck it up. Sorry for my language. Then I had to do it myself. it was always a struggle. And very few, very few jobs that I had that it was, you know, no problem. Everything went well. I had a a hair show for a L'Oreal in in Europe. And I always back then had very long hair and
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm. Mm.
Aby-Jo: Whoa, what I what they did to my hair in that show. I I can't I can't begin to tell you how my hair was damaged after it. My hair looked like a bird's nest. It was just here, a whole big ball, and it I I had to cut it off. It was really it was really nasty. It was no. They did not and it I don't want to be
SUPERSHARDA: my god.
Aby-Jo: I mean those European hairdressers, okay, now it changed. I follow a lot of hairdressers in Europe. I see that they really, you know, educate themselves on on black hair, on other other hair textures than the Caucasian hair texture. So that's good. But back then, no girl. No, just no.
SUPERSHARDA: I I can't imagine because Steve and I also experienced those things, even though when I started, people were already more aware, better educated. But my first job in London, for example, with my big afro, back in that long afro hair. At the end I saw all of my hair on the floor. And the hairdresser, the hairstylist was a black lady.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Wow. Wow, how?
SUPERSHARDA: So with with with four four C texture hair, I I realized that a lot of people don't Don't take into consideration that you cannot comb the hair while it's dry. You have to make it a bit wet. And this instance, the lady, she was already late. We were, I think we were waiting for her for like an hour. And that was just my first job in London. So I I I woke I went to Europe thinking like, okay, yeah, there are gonna be a lot of professional people there and people know how stuff goes.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: But for some reason she was late and I think she was very anxious and then you know, she think she didn't take it into consideration and maybe she didn't have the right products with her at that time because she came in a rush. But that's that it was a lesson for me that I need to remember that I need to have my own stuff with me because not because it is a professional job means that everybody on set is professional. I have many other stories, not not just here, but also
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: Being burnt on set, all this kind of stuff. And also not because somebody has your hair texture or is from your ethnicity means that they know how to work with it or that they will treat you the way that you need to be treated. So yeah, I on the other hand, I've met many non-black hairstylists who are very kind, very gentle with me and my hair.
Aby-Jo: wow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: But there's still there's still a lot. There's still a lot that needs to be done. People still need to learn a lot. yeah, yeah. Well well I'm happy that you didn't like for but you said that you did have some issues with your your your body. Did it affect your your your sense of who you are and if maybe you need to change stuff? Did did you feel pressured?
Aby-Jo: Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's an awful process. Yes, I did. I felt very pressured. I was through because of all the comments, because you're just a number, right? Just it's they're just looking at the surface, nothing else. They don't want to know you, they don't want to s you know, they just wanna see the perfect thing in front of them. So what happened was all the comments I I never heard these things before in my life and I was like, Why? How is this good? How is this okay? How how can you feel
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm. Mm.
Aby-Jo: Okay, telling people that you're too fat, your belly is too big, or you have you know, like the the weirdest things, I had to drop two sizes where I was already size two, like I had to be size zero. And yeah, I was like, no, I cannot do that. I cannot, yeah, but you have to because otherwise there are so many other models, honey. You will not be the only one, and da da da. And I was like, okay, do I have to do that?
SUPERSHARDA: Euro, yeah.
Aby-Jo: Really? I tried it. I'm not gonna lie, I tried it. I was size zero for a year or something, but I felt so sick. I felt so out of place and not myself and I felt so insecure about myself and then like, you know, let me stop this. That's why I said I was very afraid to go all the way because I saw what was happening, I saw you know, I felt the comments, I felt the disregard of people.
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm. I'm I'm happy that you were able to self-reflect and then yes.
Aby-Jo: and I saw the backstabbing happening around me and I was like do I want to do this so I I stepped back I looked at it and I decided for myself which way I wanted to go so that's what happened One give me one moment. Yeah. Sorry.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah, yeah.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: I'm happy that you're able to self-reflect and stand strong in your shoes. I hear some people say like of people have said to me like, yeah, and Sharda she is slim, skinny because she's a model and she needs to keep it up. And so that's one of the
Aby-Jo: Yeah.
SUPERSHARDA: misperceptions and I always have to say, you know, this is my body type. I'm not this way because of modeling. it
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: Does help me in modeling, but I'm not this way because of modeling. What what would you say are things that people have said to you where you would say, like, okay, this is this is not true. What happens in the modeling world? Or maybe it does happen, but it's not a necessity. Like, not because the client wants you to be size zero means you need to be size zero. You still have a choice. Of course, we have all these, you know, people who who who pressure directly, indirectly and the modeling agencies are part of it, they do they do it as well. But what have you personally heard where you see like okay this is not really true.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Well the same actually about the size that you have to be a size zero, you have to be a certain length. it's not true. Because again, fashion is very big, the industry is very big, and also for models it's very big. So w something else is like that was back then. you have to be light skinned, they don't want to work with dark models. That's really it's that was so offensive. It was so Such a bad lie just to keep certain people out of the industry, but it thankfully it did not last, it did not work. Because I mean, let's be honest, these models these days, the beautiful black skin models, I enjoy working with them, I enjoy their work. I mean, everything is just so much better on them, I think. It's my personal opinion. also
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm. Yes.
Aby-Jo: Yeah, little lies as in you have to always diet as a model. You always have to eat a certain way. You cannot, you know, eat normal. you always have to be in the gym, you always have to it's it's about it's just about the physical stuff. I am this my Yeah, this is my natural body. I was never too thin naturally, but I was never big also. I always was I was always
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. Is it it's it's also the perception.
Aby-Jo: in the gym for a certain amount of time. My mother, my mother was the one always signing me up to do sports and you know, etc. So I was always a sporty girl. now the last couple of years I'm not really doing anything because for myself I'm not really disciplined to sport. I have to change it. But this is my natural body type as you say that is your natural body type and I like it. I have no problem with it. I like it that I have a little chubby, you know, cheeks and a little belly. I don't mind it at all. You know, it doesn't make me beautiful. And and even in this state they would call me like a plus size model. I don't mind. I don't care. It's okay. Because I don't want to be a size zero.
SUPERSHARDA: Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's it's not bad. It's just it's just the category. It doesn't it's is how we how we look at it. You know, because some people they would call me slim or skinny and you think it's an insult, but it's not insulting to me. It's a fact. Like I have a slim body type and that's how it is and I love the way I am. If I was different I would love it as well. So for me that is very important when
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. No, yeah. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: young or aspiring models they contact me and I let them know that one of the first things is you you need to you need to know who you are and you need to be strict with that. And the industry is gonna try to Maybe not even try, but they're just different people, different brands, so they're different requirements and they want to see who's gonna fit in it, you know, because in a sense you are the product, so they wanna see if you as a product maybe you have the pretty face that they want, but they want to adjust something, will you be able to fit in that? And you have to decide if you want to fit in it in it or not. try as much as possible for other people not to pressure you in into that. I love also how you
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: are other you've actually from the beginning been been part of the education part of modeling or fashion in Suriname where you're also guiding guiding others what do what do you think or in your experience has changed for the better or for the worse since you started and until now?
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. well what changed is for the better, of course, that there are a lot of more it's the technology. There's a lot more education at hand for everyone to learn and to see how it actually works. I see that a lot of people in Suriname are really learning, you know, and trying to to search for the right information to get to the level they want to be at. And that's great. I follow them, I applaud them for for that. And I am here also to provide that information because I myself constantly update my skills and update each other on on information. What changed for the worst is also technology because it has two sides. I think that pressure that you have from all the the social media and And films and everything. It the pressure is is much more, I think, than back then. Because now you can lie on your or you can be, you know, on the toilet and someone is telling you how you should be or how you should look like what you should look like. what should your character be even, or how to be this or how to be that, but it lacks in how can I be the better version of
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm.
Aby-Jo: Myself, that's what I don't see. I always see people trying to be this or people trying to be that or how to get a slimmer body or how to get bigger lips or how to get smoother hair or how to like it's just too much pressure. And young people, young children that's in their formative years, they take up this information and that's what they see as you know that's that's their role model, that's their their rule of thumb in life which which causes problems, other bigger problems because they don't know who they are. They don't reach inside. They only see the physical. And I think that's really bad.
SUPERSHARDA: That's that's a great answer. I'm I'm glad you touched on that because it comes down to identity. Know who you are, right? And be authentic to yourself instead of trying to be what other people are or what you think that they that they want you to be. That's that that that's great, that's beautiful, yeah. so
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: Maybe we can touch a bit on what you're doing now. You mentioned your partner and that you are in business together. How you're you you run skin beauty, right? Skins.
Aby-Jo: Yeah. Yeah, so skins your skin. Yeah, Pure Skins was my salon. is actually I never I never closed down the salon on paper, but the salon itself is not working anymore because I had my health not mental, I had my health scare a couple of years ago. I got a double herniated disc in my neck. So the work I was doing I couldn't do anymore.
SUPERSHARDA: It's not active right now.
Aby-Jo: I really loved being in the salon, really loved interacting with my clients. I really loved all my clients. I had a very busy salon. I had very great co-workers that I enjoyed being around with. And I did that for almost I started at sixteen years old. I did it almost 20 years, the salon. And yeah, and it just, you know, got bigger and bigger and I
SUPERSHARDA: Wow.
Aby-Jo: I I really cried and I was really sad when I had to stop working. And everyone told me I like, can you just train someone to do the work for you? And I tried it. I tried it but I couldn't find a right fit because I like like I said, I really loved my clients. I really had a familiar connection with my clients because they were coming to me for all those years. So you know how it grows then, you know. you get more you get to be more than Yeah, you get
SUPERSHARDA: And they were also kind of coming for you. They had trusted you to do the work.
Aby-Jo: But then they're you get to be more than that. So they didn't want to be with someone else. They didn't want to be treated by someone else. And we really I really had some very sad moments with a lot of my clients with that one on one talk, you know, that I had to stop, we cried together, we hugged together and you know, and still to this day we are talking to each other. Sometimes we just send a hey, how are you, miss you, you know? So that that was a really great time. but Pure Skins is the the the head company that my partner and I have. We started it and we officially started it registered in two thousand eleven. but before that I was already busy working as a nail technician and after that as a wax specialist and After that, I started giving courses. And why do I love education so much? I think I have it from my mom because she was a teacher, a school teacher, and she was very adamant about education. And she was very, you know, she always had homeschooling also for other children, especially immigrants that were coming to Suriname to teach them the Dutch language. so I grew up a lot with you know, education and teaching. And that's I never wanted to be a teacher, but I think I just have it in me by looking at my mom. And I started giving courses also from the salon, just being wax specialists. I started with nail training, nail technician training, and then I started giving wax training. So I did that for a very long time. sim simultaneously my partner was
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: getting into building. she never thought she would love that but she really likes being she doesn't build herself. She's not a builder but she she she does the take yeah she and she design speaks with the the builders she's you know like the headman of the yeah but
SUPERSHARDA: The graphics, yeah, the graphics behind it. Kind of like the architect, a little bit.
Aby-Jo: Not an architect, but she does
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah, yeah.
Aby-Jo: she really she really enjoys educating herself also in that field and so we built a couple of things together. we we built our business building. Business building. Yeah, the building
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm. company or yeah the the building that your business is is situated in.
Aby-Jo: Yes. Uh-huh. And it it was supposed to be a small thing, but then it got bigger and bigger and we're like, Yeah, we can add this, we can do this, we can do this and she was always coming up with new ideas and it just worked. And now we do rental of business units, we rent out Airbnb's apartments, we have our business Anna Beauty and Health. It's a store where We sell beauty stuff. So the beauty will never stop. The salon stop, but we sell we sold products to our clients. We sell products to other salons, especially the wax clinics, because we are one of the bigger importers of a good quality wax out of Italy. So that's what we do. That's what we do full time and also I still educate, I still do photo shoot directing because I love that too.
SUPERSHARDA: Mm.
Aby-Jo: again it falls under educating the models, directing photographers and models, yeah, pageants. Anything s surrounding this subject about fashion is my cup of tea.
SUPERSHARDA: So few more questions. One. Why why actually is fashion your cup of tea? What does it do to you?
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. It makes me happy, Shada. It just makes me happy. That's all I can say. Since again, the beginning of this interview, I went back to a four-year-old girl. I get the same feeling as I was when I was four years old when I'm busy with my fashion projects. The same happy feeling. The singing. No, I parked the singing.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. Awesome. And the thing, Yeah. How come, what happened there?
Aby-Jo: It just not it's it's maybe when I'm fifty or something I will pick it up again and sing in a jazz bar or something. But right now No. No. I love music. I love music. I get lost in music. Every every day I can listen to music hours. I have diff I I listen to everything that touches me. So I really love music. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: We have Just not the priority right now. Okay. Wow. I get it. I get it. And it it sounds like you and your partner have a beautiful union, you know, romantically and business-wise, friendship. Sounds very beautiful. So how do you think you have described yourself? How do you think your partner describes you?
Aby-Jo: Yes, yeah. she there she will describe me as a very loyal person, I'm sure. Very loyal, very hard headed and and very nerd. She always tells me you're such a big nerd. If people would see you how you are, naturally, they will not believe it. And I'm sure they will not believe it. Yeah.
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm. Okay. Hmm. What are you inert in? What do you like reading or studying or looking into?
Aby-Jo: I like reading, but I like to be I like to goover on with stupid things too, you know. I'm I'm I'm a big a bit of a geek. I I'm not a gamer or anything like that, but I really love reading. I really love fun facts. I you know, I I like documentaries, watching it with her and just commentating like I'm the commentator on this whole thing and I and I make just dry funny jokes with her that
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm.
Aby-Jo: I would normally not do with normal people around me, but she knows that side of it. So that's why she calls me that. Yeah.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. Talking about imitating, you're also an actress.
Aby-Jo: Yes.
SUPERSHARDA: Okay, you know, this we call in the entertainment industry like double what is the word? No double trouble or or triple triple triple effect what is the word? Anyways
Aby-Jo: Yeah, I know what you're going at, but I I can't find that word right now.
SUPERSHARDA: Where you can sing, dance, act, fashion, you know, model, so all of that. The whole package.
Aby-Jo: Yeah. Triple trap of Sona.
SUPERSHARDA: Yes, exactly. That's what I mean. Triple threat. How how has how do you find that people perceive you that may be different than what you think that you are actually expressing? What what I mean to say is as a as a model and also anybody else who's in the public public in the public eye
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: People have a certain perception of you, even if they haven't met you because they have seen you, either your pictures or a video of you. How do you think that people perceive you that may I mean but you're like, yeah, how did you get that? That's completely true, or you're like, that's surprising. I cannot believe that people think that about me.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because it's been such a long time I've been in the public sector or public eye, I don't I don't stand still at these things, these type of things, because I've heard it all. I've heard I've literally heard it all. I've heard that I died at one point. I've heard
SUPERSHARDA: Mm-hmm. That's that that's that's terrible. Wow. Okay.
Aby-Jo: I mean I've heard it all that you will not believe it. I've heard that I am I am a junkie. I've heard that I am a mom and I have children but I don't accept those children so those children are somewhere else. I've heard I've heard
SUPERSHARDA: That's really like Hollywood stuff. Like that's we're so a small community. These rumors are so strange.
Aby-Jo: I don't know where they get these stories from. So I don't even when I hear these things I'm like, okay. Okay. Like what what do I do about that? I can't do anything about that. I know that's why it's important for me to know who I am and what I stand for. And the people that want to get to know me and the people I let to get to know me because I'm very, very particular about that. I have my reasons. I've everyone will have that. In their time that you've been hurt so much that you, you know, close yourself off. And I have closed myself off completely at one time, but now as I get older, I learn that I don't have to close myself off, I just have to, you know, curate like how who do I let into my life? Who do I let close to me? And that that that's that circle is so small, it's almost a dot. but
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah.
Aby-Jo: The people that know me know me and they know that I'm really just a goofy girl. I like I like jokes, I like laughing, I like you know, dancing, I like being stupid most of the time. But I also like having very deep and insightful talks. I like spirituality, I love it. I'm very spiritual. I love being You know, I'm comfortable being with myself, alone with myself, but I also love having company at times, you know. entertaining people. I have my times. So I know who I am, I'm comfortable with it, and I don't really mind if people want to tell stories. People will always tell stories, people always have their own perception of someone else until they get to know the person. So That's why I will never judge someone based on what I've heard about them. Because I don't I I can't know you I can't know that that's true because I have not talked to you. Of course, if you're a serial killer and the police told me you're a serial killer, I will not go and yeah, yeah, I will have to get to know that for myself. I'm not stupid, but you know what I mean. Right? So
SUPERSHARDA: Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's interesting the stories. That's very interesting. yeah, no, I've always even though the past years we haven't been in contact much, I've never heard these things and I've always seen you as a pleasant person. So it's very, it's very strange. It's very strange to me. Yeah, no.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That you does not hear these things. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: yeah. So we're gonna do a a quick fire. That's how it's called quick fire. So I'm gonna mention like two words and you just say what you wanna say about it. The first one probably already discussed it, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Runway or photo shoot.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Runway.
SUPERSHARDA: For sure, for sure. Fashion week or a beauty pageant? If you have to choose now.
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: Fashion week. business or art?
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Art.
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm hmm. Beauty or character?
Aby-Jo: Character, for sure.
SUPERSHARDA: Srinama or the world.
Aby-Jo: Whew. I would say the world because Srinama is in it.
SUPERSHARDA: Yes. Good choice. Luxury or freedom?
Aby-Jo: Ha ha. Freedom one hundred percent.
SUPERSHARDA: Lead or follow.
Aby-Jo: Both. I cannot choose that, both. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm. You can be a leader, but you can also follow, be part of the team. Are you a early bird or a night owl?
Aby-Jo: none of those. I'm a day person. I'm just a day person. I I I cannot get up early just because I get up early. I get up early because I have an appointment and I get to sleep because I'm tired. I'm not gonna wait wait up. I get to sleep at 10 o'clock and I'm ti I'm just tired. I need to go to sleep. So I'm I'm I'm not one of those. I'm just in between.
SUPERSHARDA: Hmm. Yeah. Okay, you know that's what I heard this explanation I hear for the first time. Interesting. Yeah. Hmm. Okay, interesting.
Aby-Jo: Yeah. Hmm. So I'm not not a night owl, not an early bird. I just enjoy the day.
SUPERSHARDA: Okay, cool, cool. coffee or tea?
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Coffee.
SUPERSHARDA: Awesome. Then I have a few more questions. I always have questions, but we're gonna how do you you know your experience in fashion and of course also being a businesswoman, an entrepreneur, and also your personal life, how do you how do you consider that it has your identity has has changed in the of course because we're always evolving, we're always learning.
Aby-Jo: Yeah. The lead.
SUPERSHARDA: You all have a basis, but you you you learn more about yourself. Those the different experiences that you've had, or let's say the ones that stick out the most, how has that changed you to be the person that you are now compared to when you were 14 or maybe even four? Obviously a a lot changed. But what would you say that are the you know the top three things that have shaped your life and and changed you so far?
Aby-Jo: Hmm. I don't really know how to answer this very short. I just okay. If I yeah, if I have to say how did I change, or what changed me, of course. my my family unit changed, so I changed.
SUPERSHARDA: Yes, it's kinda long discussion.
Aby-Jo: I appreciate I appreciate a family unit even more because when you don't have it, you will seek it. So I really do appreciate that more. I how have I changed more? I have become a critical thinker because of what my mom told me, because what she teached me and what I have encountered. I am never afraid to ask questions. Even if it sounds stupid, I don't care because I need to know for myself where I stand. So that I so that I know where I'm going. I need to know where I stand with people, with situations. so that is one thing that that changed in me. I I'm not just going to say okay, let's do this because that person said so. Or yeah, that's I'm I'm still spontaneous, but I will have my think about it. I will have questions about it. And if it feels right, I'm I'm very connected to my gut feeling also. That's something that really changed through the years. I am listening to that little voice inside of me. Sometimes she screams, sometimes it's really soft and and subtle, but I try to listen and I go on I go off of that because of all the things that I have you know, brought with me because I'm not a little girl anymore. I am a grown-ass woman. So these things will change you. so those are the things that mainly changed in me. But my core, the the the A B Joe, the the little girl is also still there. And I I appreciate her too. I she needs to be there. Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: Yeah. I guess I think that's your creativity. That's what keeping your creativity alive. And thank you for sharing the lessons. I think it will be very helpful for the listeners, especially the young ones, not only the ones who also wanna go into fashion or business, but anything, you know, those are good lessons to keep with you. Is there maybe one
Aby-Jo: Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: Is there maybe one more thing that you would like to add or question that you say like every time I do an interview they don't ask me this. I would like to tell I would like to talk about this part. Is there any question that you would like to answer or you have something else to say?
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm. Well, one thing we did not discuss here is or I didn't talk about is the way someone should look in order to enter fashion. Listen, y there's no blueprint. You there are no rules as in this is the shape of your body or this is how your face needs to look like or this is the type of hair you need to have to enter fashion. Everyone can enter the fashion industry. Everyone can be a model because these what I see now, and I I applaud it also, is that they really love using real people in the modeling industry, real people with real flaws, because nobody's perfect. Nobody is perfect, and not don't let the social media or the internet convince you that you have to be a certain per per. perfect perfection of yourself. No, because that does not exist. Everyone has flaws and if you accept yourself and be proud of who you are, you're a unique person. Everyone is unique. It's not beautiful to have two or three of the same people, you know, or to to have a crowd that just exactly looks the same. That's that's just boring. It's it's stupid. It's it's not realistic. Right? Everyone is unique and if you know your uniqueness, if you know your things, your flaws, your your your not only your flaws, but also your good sides, everything if you just accept it and you want to be in the fashion industry, I would say go ahead and use up everything that you have. Because there's room for everyone. So that's what I wanted to add.
SUPERSHARDA: Good. Thank you. That's a beautiful addition, and I completely agree. There is room for everybody. and thanks to the ones before us who pushed through, even though they didn't fit the standards back then. Now the gate is opening, opening even more. So yeah, beautiful. Thank you so much, AB. Thank you so much. so we've ended this talk.
Aby-Jo: True. Mm-hmm. You're welcome.
SUPERSHARDA: and actually i would like to talk even longer but we have to end it but thank you very much everybody for watching and don't forget to like subscribe comment
Aby-Jo: Mm-hmm.
SUPERSHARDA: And if there's somebody that you say, like, hey, this is me to something for you, please share it. And then we're gonna see you at the next episode of Identity Spectrum, where we ask questions that you might not have heard before. And we have very, very special guests from Suriname and also from the rest of the world. Until next time, bye!
Aby-Jo: Bye.