Why do I feel responsible for other peoples feelings? | Good Question Series

Welcome to the first episode of the Good Question series.

There's a lot of noise out there from people who seem to know everything, this series is the opposite.

Each episode I take one question I hear a lot in the therapy room and in groups and we get curious about it together. No experts, no easy answers, just good questions to sit with and explore in your own life.

This first one's a big one: why do I feel responsible for other people's feelings?

If you read the room the second you walk in, feel guilty when someone's upset even when it's got nothing to do with you, or feel like it's your job to fix everyone's bad day, this one's for you.

In this episode:

• What it looks like to take on everyone else's emotions
• My own story of growing up as the one keeping the peace at home
• The polarity of caring and being scared of what happens if people aren't okay
• What this pattern might be protecting us from, and why it's so hard to let go of
• Three questions to reflect on
• A simple experiment to try this week

The three questions

1. When did you first learn that keeping other people okay was your job?
2. What do you think will happen if someone's upset and you don't fix it?
3. Where are your feelings while you're busy looking after everyone else's?

No need for solid answers. Put them in the ground and see what grows.

This week's experiment
Level 1: Notice when you start managing someone else's mood. What's happening in your body?
Level 2: Next time someone's upset and it isn't yours to fix, stay kind but don't fix it. Try "that sounds really hard" and notice the urge to do more.

Follow the show so you don't miss the next one. Got a question you'd love explored in the series? Send it through.

And if you want to explore this a bit deeper, get in touch:


Instagram