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Courage comes before confidence, not after. And comfort keeps more
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people stuck than fear does. And there are a lot
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of reasons that people hold themselves back. And one of
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them is fear. And there are different types of fear
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that I see. There's fear of the unknown, because when
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we can't see what's on the other side, we stay
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where it's predictable, even if it feels small. We like
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the predictability and the comfort of that. And then there's
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fear of failure. That's another reason people don't leave and
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do something different or move. They worry more about the
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worst case scenario instead of the best case opportunity. And
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then there's fear of judgment, which I think is a
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big one. A lot of people worry more about what
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other people will say than what they're capable of.
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Welcome to Her Unshakable Confidence. I'm Simone Canego.
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And I'm Olivia Canego.
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Each week, we have honest conversations about confidence, self-doubt, and
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the moments in life that shape who we become.
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Some weeks, we talk with inspiring guests.
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In other weeks, it's just the two of us sharing
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what we're learning along the way.
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So pull up a chair and join the conversation. This
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is Her Unshakable Confidence.
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Welcome to Her Unshakable Confidence. I'm Simone Canego.
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And I'm Olivia Canego.
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And today we're talking with someone who spent over a
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decade as a therapist before she ever stepped onto a stage.
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Stephanie Richardson is a public speaking and executive coach, a
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certified world-class speaking coach and international bestselling author of the
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power of coaching volume two. She holds a master's in
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psychology and spent years as a licensed professional counselor before
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making the leap into coaching and speaking. And while building
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that clinical career, Stephanie was also a single mom growing
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a direct sales organization that's now nearly 1,600 members strong.
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She brings that rare mix of clinical training and real
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world leadership scars to help people build genuine confidence, not
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the fake it till you make it kind. Stephanie, welcome
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to the show. Thank you so much for being here.
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I'm excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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So I always find it interesting because we have had
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a few people who have gone from a counselor.
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Or, you know, a clinical background, a clinical.
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Background to then a coach, like, tell me the sequence,
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why you chose to do this and kind of, do
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you like it better?
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It happened very organically. I was not looking for starting
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my own coaching business. I wasn't seeking it out. I
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actually had a supervisee in the counseling industry who come
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over my house one day and she said, Hey, I'm
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going to open my own private practice. And I was
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thrilled for her. And she said, yeah, but I have
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this one problem. And I said, what? And she said, well,
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I hired this business coach and I don't like her.
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She doesn't know me the way you know me. We'd
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known each other for 20 years and she's not pushing
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me the way I know you'll push me. Will you
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coach me? and help me open my private practice. I said, sure,
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but I don't have a coaching business. I don't know
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how much to charge you or anything. She said, well,
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what if I just pay you what I was paying her?
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I said, okay. And she was my first coaching client
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and the beginning of my coaching business. So that's how
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it all organically happened eight years ago.
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That's very cool.
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And do you Do you feel like that your classical
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training still comes out in your coaching?
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Absolutely. There are times that my clients will say, okay,
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I feel like I've laid on your couch today. But
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I have a lot of people that ask me, what
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do I see as the difference between counseling and coaching?
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And the way I like to explain it is with
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this analogy. If you're in a car, and you're driving,
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you have two places you're looking more times than not,
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your rear view mirror and your windshield. And to me,
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counseling is your rear view mirror. It's what happened in
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your past and how you became the person you are,
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how it shaped you. And then how does that show
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up in your everyday life? And then there's the windshield,
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which is where you're going in your future, who you
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want to become. And that's coaching. And there's a reason
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that the rear view mirror is small and the windshield
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is big because you want to focus more on where
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you're going and less on your past.
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I love that.
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I love that analogy because sometimes we do focus way
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too much on our past and then obviously that affects
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how we're able to move forward.
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Absolutely.
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One of the things I really want to kind of
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dive into is Confident communication, because obviously this show is
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all about confidence, but also really understanding how many people
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struggle with speaking up with, you know, oh, should I
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send the email? Do I need to reread it 17,000 times? Oh,
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I said the wrong thing.
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Now what?
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So I'd love to understand the, you know, obviously you
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are a public speaking coach, but you're also a certified
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world-class speaking coach. So I kind of want to understand
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that as well. Because when people are looking for someone
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to help them, what are they looking at?
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I see there are two types of people that come
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to me for guidance. Many times people are terrified of
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public speaking and they have a lot of anxiety around
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doing it. And my background really helps with that because I,
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in the counseling industry, I worked with people that had
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anxiety a lot. And so I, there are techniques and
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things that I'd like to share with people, things that
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have worked for me, that things that I've learned, because
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I was not very confident when I first started speaking
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in front of people as well. I was, I'm more
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of an introvert. And so getting up in front of
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a group of people or having all the attention on
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me was not something I was initially comfortable with. And
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so I have, used a lot of the things that
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have worked for me in guiding the people that come
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to me. So that's one group of people that comes
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to me. The second group a lot of times is
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business owners, CEOs who have a message, but they're unsure
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about how to organize that and give it the kind
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of clarity that they want it to have to be
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able to engage the audience. And so they'll bring me
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their topic and then I'll help them up level it
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by teaching them a blueprint that I walk them through
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and how to open with a bang, how to tell
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stories that tug at people's hearts, the mistakes that a
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lot of speakers make, how to get someone to want
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to work with you beyond the time that you talk
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with them. And that could be a webinar, a lunch
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and learn, a sales presentation, a keynote. It can be
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a lot of different things where people are needing to
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speak up. It could be a board meeting. It could
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be a lot of different places. So those are kind
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of the two types of people that I see that
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come to me for guidance.
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When do you think as an individual you need coaching
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versus a therapy setting?
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That's a good question. I've actually had some people ask
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me that before. I feel that if you're cycling through
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the same things over and over and over in your
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therapy session and you don't feel like you're really moving,
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I've had people say, I feel like I talk to
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my therapist about the same things all the time. And
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if you don't feel like there's a change or a difference,
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then it's probably time for you to look at something
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different because how is that serving you to keep rehashing
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the same thing over and over every time you go
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to this session where you could have someone ask you
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different questions that might break through that pattern that you
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have or the blind spot that you have that could
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propel you forward beyond where you are. Does that make sense? Yeah.
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Have you thought about having coaching versus therapy?
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Well, after this conversation, especially so, because I feel like
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a lot of the times when I was in therapy,
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I didn't find it that useful because it's like, and
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I've had therapists tell me this.
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So they're like, well, you've worked through your issues. Like,
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you know, but it's like, I feel like I still
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need someone to support me and guide me, but I
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don't think the therapist was serving me in the way
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that they needed to be. And I was like, maybe
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it's just not a right fit between me and the person,
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but maybe it was the topic itself. Like maybe it
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is the fact that it's therapy and not coaching.
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I think so because you got to a point where
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you had done all the work that you could do there.
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And what I see is a pattern that people think, oh, well,
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I need to be in therapy because I've been in therapy.
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So I have this belief that I need therapy. So
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I need to stay in therapy. Well, maybe you've, gotten
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to the point where you don't need that anymore. Maybe
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you're ready to move to something that's a little more
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forward thinking instead of looking at the past. And I've
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had clients that have changed and done really well, not
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going to therapy anymore and being in coaching because I
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have the beauty of both of those backgrounds. So I
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can ask really hard questions when I need to ask
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hard questions to move somebody forward and help them see
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a blind spot that they may be having.
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It'll be interesting to see what you do, Liv.
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I know.
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I'm thinking a lot about this.
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Yeah, yeah, you should.
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So one of the things that I really love talking
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about is stop waiting to feel ready, right?
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Move forward, take action. And so the.
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Courage to cross the threshold. Let's talk a bit about
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that and your thoughts. And also, what is something somebody
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listening can do today? Because Again, for me, it's in
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the doing.
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It's about taking the action.
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I think a lot of people find that or think
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that I've got to be confident first and then I'll
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do it. But to me, it's the opposite. You have
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to do it. And that's what builds your confidence.
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Courage comes before confidence, not after. And comfort keeps more
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people stuck than fear does. And there are a lot
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of reasons that people hold themselves back. And one of
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them is fear. And there are different types of fear
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that I see. There's fear of the unknown, because when
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we can't see what's on the other side, we stay
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where it's predictable. Even if it feels small, we like
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the predictability and the comfort of that. And then there's
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fear of failure. That's another reason people don't leave and
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do something different or move. They worry more about the
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worst case scenario instead of the best case opportunity. And
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then there's fear of judgment, which I think is a
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big one. That a lot of people worry more about
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what other people will say than what they're capable of.
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And then, as you mentioned, feeling unprepared or feeling unqualified.
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We think we need more confidence or more certainty, more
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experience before we're allowed to to move forward. And then
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there's that comfort with the familiar, like I said, that
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gets in the way. There are negative beliefs that get
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in the way. Someone else can do it better. I'm
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not ready. And those quiet, negative beliefs, they stop us
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from taking bold action. And then there are past disappointments
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that come up. Maybe we walked through a door in
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the past And it didn't lead where we hoped. So
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we're hesitant to trust the next one. And that can
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also hold us back. So those are some of the
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factors that I've seen that prevent people from taking action.
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And it could be one or a combination of several
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of those. That a door will open for someone and
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those reasons prevent them from having the courage to walk
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through it.
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So what's something you would say today?
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Like if you were talking to someone and they're, whether
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it's the comfort piece, the comfort piece hits home with
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me very hard because, um, yeah, for a lot of people,
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it's just easy to stay comfortable.
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Like everything out there is scary. Why would I do it?
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Um, but I, I actually, in this point in my life,
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I feel like it's scarier to stay comfortable because it
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means I'm not doing things. I'm not, I'm not moving
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forward and I always want to have forward motion. So again,
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as I went on a tangent there, but what is
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something that you would say, okay, today, do this, try this,
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say this to yourself.
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What is something that you would recommend?
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I think it's important to start with small risks because
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small risks build your courage muscle. Confidence comes from reps,
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not from waiting. And so when you take small, low
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stakes risk, you train your brain to trust yourself to
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take other risks. So that's one of the things I
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would recommend. Also surrounding yourself with other people who are
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taking risks, because when you do that, it feels normal.
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It doesn't feel like you're the only one. When you
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see other people moving forward, you want to move forward too,
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because they're moving forward. And then you also have to
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think about, um, having someone that believes in you more
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than the belief that you have in yourself. And I
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see that a lot in my coaching that people borrow
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belief from me and I have to believe in them
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first until their belief in themselves catches up with mine.
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So sometimes it's just someone nudging you saying, I know
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you can do this. I know that you can reach
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this goal or you can, take this next step or
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you can move forward. And one of the questions I
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like to ask my clients a lot is, what is
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your next best step? And focus on the next step,
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not the entire staircase. We think we need to know
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all of the steps and everything needs to be laid
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out and we need to know exactly what we're supposed
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to do. And we don't. We just need to know
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one step that we want to take that we would
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be a little bit uncomfortable taking, but willing to take.
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And then once we take that one step, then that
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will lead to another one and another one. So asking yourself,
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what's the next best step that I can take?
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And do you think that's societal that we feel like
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we have to know everything? We have to have everything
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planned out? Because I see that with a lot of people.
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It's not just, oh, you hear it every once in
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a while. It's like, oh, we can't do that because
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I don't know, like there's so many things that I
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have to do instead of just doing that one little
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piece first.
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There are a lot of us in the world who overthink. Right.
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We overanalyze the door before we walk through it. And
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that keeps us stuck. That prevents us from walking through
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because we think about all of the things that could happen.
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And yes, all of the things could happen. Yeah. I
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had this mentor one time who used to say, jump
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and build your wings on the way down. And I
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love that because that means you don't have to know
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what you're doing. You just jump and you learn as
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you go. And I've seen that show up in my
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own life that I've just jumped many times in my life.
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And every time I've jumped, it's, There's been a lot
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of unfamiliar. There's been a lot of risk, but I've
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done it and it's turned out to be a positive outcome,
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even though it was completely frightening in the beginning, thinking
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about doing it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I mean, again, that is such a common piece of
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Not knowing the outcome, right?
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Oh, what do I do?
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Like, I don't know what's going to happen. So I'm
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just not going to do it. I'm not going to
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apply for that job because what if I don't get it?
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And, you know, it is about taking those small risks.
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And, you know, we talk about surrounding ourselves with people
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that help move us forward. But it is interesting when
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you look at friend groups, a lot of times it's
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the opposite.
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Right.
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A lot of times it's... People that make you comfortable.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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Right.
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And, you know, familiarity is comfortable.
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Yeah.
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So you don't want to go to the gym. So
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you hang out with people who don't want to go
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to the gym. You know, it's interesting how it works.
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And you're right. A lot of people do stay stuck
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because of the group that they hang around with. And
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I'm a Maxwell certified coach. And John Maxwell always says
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that if you are the smartest person in the room,
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You're in the wrong room.
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Yeah.
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You need to be surrounding yourself with people who are
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ahead of you in all different areas of your life,
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with your physical health, with your finances, your spirituality, your business, right?
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All these different areas that we have in our life
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that are important that a lot of people put in
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little boxes. They're all intertwined and they all affect us
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in every other area of our life. And if you
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surround yourself with people who are unhealthy, then you're going
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to be unhealthy because it's not, it's not who's, they're
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not pushing you and they're not like-minded. So it's important
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to definitely surround yourself with people who are going to
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push you and encourage you. And I'm not saying you
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don't have those other relationships, but you need to seek
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out the other ones as well.
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Yeah, it is very easy to stay where you are, right?
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That familiarity, the comfort factor, the, you know, I don't
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really want to do this.
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I don't think I'm capable of doing this.
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And I do think that keeps so many people stuck, obviously,
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because there's so many different groups out there, right?
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I love.
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my youngest daughter.
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She had her main friend group in high school, but
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she was also friends with so many other people in
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the class so that it wasn't like just this cliquish
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thing where she was like, oh, no, I'm going to
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go out with this group tonight or I'm going to
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go out with this group because she wanted to have
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all of those people. different kinds of relationships. We don't
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tend to do that though. And I know as adults,
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even more and more, we're like, oh, we already have
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our friends.
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We don't want to change anything.
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I was just having this conversation with, I don't even
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know who I was having it with, but I'm moving
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cities in exactly a year. And I was like, well,
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you know, like I'll be working full time. I won't
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even have time for friends. Like I already have ones.
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It'll be too hard to maintain new relationships anyways. And like,
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that's not how it works. Obviously I'm going to make friends.
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And I say this every time I go anywhere new.
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It's like, oh, I'm not going to make friends.
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What if you said the opposite?
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Maybe the opposite would come true because.
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Yeah.
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I mean.
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I don't know.
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Work towards it.
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Like say, you know, I'm going to put time into
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this instead of telling yourself it's not going to happen.
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See, it's exactly what we're talking about. You're staying too comfortable.
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Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think mindset is a big part
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of it. And that's what you're hitting on, Simone, is
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that what you tell yourself is what lives out in
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your everyday life. So whether it's not taking action on something,
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if we tell ourselves, oh, it's too hard, then we
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won't try. But if we say, I can do hard things.
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That's one of my mantras I say all the time.
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I can do hard things. I can do hard things.
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Because I've been single for so long that I've had
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to learn how to do things that a lot of
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women don't know how to do, like change tires on
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my zero turn lawnmower. You know, I've never done that
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before in my life, but I learned how to do it.
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I learned how to do things. And I just tell
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myself I could do hard things. I could do hard things.
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I can do hard things over and over until I.
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Figure it out.
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And, but same thing with you changing environments, Olivia, and,
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looking at a friend group saying I'm open to meeting
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new people.
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Right. Right.
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I'm open to meeting new people. I'm open to having,
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having new relationships in my life. I'm open to new
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experiences in a new city. That's going to be fun.
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It's going to be an adventure.
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Yes, completely.
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I truly believe that our thoughts become our reality. So
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the more we say things to ourself that are negative,
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the more we believe them. And my response to that
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is also that if we can say all these negative
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things to ourself and believe them, it can absolutely be
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the opposite, right? We can say the positive things to
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ourselves and believe them and make them our reality. But
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it's not hiding from them. It's actually doing the work
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that it takes to get there. And the mindset is,
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00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.000
for me, the first step is believing that you can,
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you know, talking to yourself, say it, you know, say
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it until you become it. Instead of fake it till
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you make it, say it until you become it. And
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we actually just did an episode right before this on
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things that are really hard that we never thought would be.
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Hard.
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So changing a lawnmower tire would be on that.
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But you get stuck in something and you're like, oh
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my gosh, that was so hard.
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I never want to do that again.
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But it's part of the learning process and we can't
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shy away from those things.
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Well, I think awareness is the first step. Being aware
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of the negative thoughts that pop into our head. I
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don't believe that they ever completely go away. But when
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they pop up, it's being aware of it and go, oh,
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there's that thought that pops up in my head from
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time to time about how I view myself. And first
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of all, catching yourself and then reframing it. into the opposite,
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like you were sharing with Olivia. And so a lot
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of times people here will reframe that, but they don't
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know what that means. What, you know, how do you
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do that? So one of the methods I teach in
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one of my workshops is when you hear a negative
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thought that pops up to say the opposite of that,
436
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whatever that negative thought is like, I'm a bad mom.
437
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A lot of moms think that from time to time,
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I'm a bad mom. That's one and say, no, I'm
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actually a great mom. And here are two reasons why
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I know I am and to provide the evidence for it.
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So when you, when you negate it and flip it
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to the opposite and then provide evidence, I think that
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helps us reframe our thought from a negative to a positive.
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Does that make sense?
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For sure.
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Yeah, absolutely.
447
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And it is that that reframing piece. I always talk
448
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about the awareness piece as well, because for so long,
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00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:58.740
I was not aware of what I was saying to myself,
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what I was saying about myself. And that absolutely is
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the first step. I, I, of course, the way I am,
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I have six children.
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So I named my, named my voice.
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So it's the what if whisperer and I call her Sally, like, Oh,
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Sally's back.
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Sally's back.
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And because it allows me to kind of separate that from,
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who I really am, because that's not real. That is
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a story that I'm telling myself, a negative story I'm
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telling myself.
461
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:29.609
Right. And we can change the story. That's the thing.
462
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We can change the story. We just have to know
463
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that the story, what the story is that we're telling
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ourselves and then be aware of that and then change it. Absolutely.
465
00:25:40.549 --> 00:25:43.269
Yeah. So let's talk for a.
466
00:25:49.430 --> 00:25:53.170
The different kinds of, I want to say evaluations, but
467
00:25:53.509 --> 00:25:54.789
you know, very interesting.
468
00:25:54.829 --> 00:25:56.529
So let's run through that just for a minute.
469
00:25:58.089 --> 00:26:02.190
Yeah. So I'm a disc consultant and that's a personality
470
00:26:02.250 --> 00:26:07.089
assessment that you can take that really helps you identify
471
00:26:07.609 --> 00:26:13.470
your strengths and areas of opportunity for growth. And what
472
00:26:13.509 --> 00:26:17.259
I find is a lot of times people stay pretty
473
00:26:17.299 --> 00:26:23.279
consistent and From one point in time to another, unless
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00:26:23.319 --> 00:26:28.720
they significantly change their environment or their role that they
475
00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:31.440
might be working in. And then sometimes you can see
476
00:26:31.460 --> 00:26:35.869
a little bit of a shift. So what I've found is.
477
00:26:37.029 --> 00:26:40.589
It's a great tool for communication. I give it to
478
00:26:40.769 --> 00:26:43.710
companies to help them know how to communicate better with
479
00:26:43.769 --> 00:26:47.609
each other. But also I've used it with couples and
480
00:26:47.650 --> 00:26:50.329
done some couples work. And I've done some work with
481
00:26:50.430 --> 00:26:56.710
parents and their older, either teenage or college age students
482
00:26:57.289 --> 00:27:01.990
as well. Because a lot of times I find that
483
00:27:02.059 --> 00:27:07.410
these college age students don't really understand get exposed to
484
00:27:07.509 --> 00:27:10.730
it and it helps them really understand themselves, helps them
485
00:27:10.789 --> 00:27:14.819
understand what kind of career they might be really wired for.
486
00:27:15.859 --> 00:27:19.160
And then also some things that they could work on
487
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:24.400
personally to develop themselves. So I had a mom who
488
00:27:24.529 --> 00:27:26.410
I met through a networking group and she was really
489
00:27:26.470 --> 00:27:30.890
frustrated with her son because he wasn't really moving forward
490
00:27:30.930 --> 00:27:33.970
in his career. So she asked me to give him
491
00:27:34.039 --> 00:27:37.259
the disc and then do some sessions with him. And
492
00:27:37.299 --> 00:27:39.920
then he enjoyed it so much. He referred me to
493
00:27:39.980 --> 00:27:42.599
one of his friends. And so I still coach his
494
00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:48.019
friend and it's been three years. Yeah, it's great. So it's,
495
00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:51.539
it's fascinating because most people talk to other people the
496
00:27:51.599 --> 00:27:56.609
way they want to be talked to instead of adapting
497
00:27:56.650 --> 00:27:59.670
their style to the way the person is. needs to
498
00:27:59.769 --> 00:28:00.250
hear it.
499
00:28:00.789 --> 00:28:03.059
Right. That's wow.
500
00:28:03.150 --> 00:28:06.539
Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that's a key skill. I think
501
00:28:06.599 --> 00:28:11.099
that we all can do with relationships in our personal
502
00:28:11.140 --> 00:28:15.549
life and with our friends, with our family, but also
503
00:28:15.609 --> 00:28:16.470
with coworkers.
504
00:28:18.029 --> 00:28:21.589
Absolutely. What does confidence mean to you?
505
00:28:22.890 --> 00:28:29.079
Confidence to me means trusting myself, to take the risks
506
00:28:29.539 --> 00:28:33.920
and that it's going to work out. No matter what
507
00:28:33.980 --> 00:28:38.150
decision I make, I may have to change course a
508
00:28:38.170 --> 00:28:42.349
little bit, may have to adapt the action steps, but
509
00:28:42.410 --> 00:28:44.829
I'm still going to get to the goal. But it's
510
00:28:44.890 --> 00:28:48.970
trusting myself enough that I'm going to get to the goal. Yeah.
511
00:28:49.250 --> 00:28:53.470
I mean, so much of building trust with ourselves. We
512
00:28:53.509 --> 00:28:54.990
don't think about it like that.
513
00:28:55.009 --> 00:28:55.269
Right.
514
00:28:56.029 --> 00:28:58.890
It is so important. It's keeping the promises you make
515
00:28:58.930 --> 00:29:03.269
to yourself, right? I mean, we can disappoint ourselves every
516
00:29:03.309 --> 00:29:05.910
moment of our life or we can build it up.
517
00:29:05.970 --> 00:29:07.650
I mean, it just depends on how we look at it.
518
00:29:08.359 --> 00:29:08.619
Right.
519
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:12.079
What's the best advice a woman in your life has
520
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:12.799
ever given you?
521
00:29:17.380 --> 00:29:22.339
To put the focus on different areas of my life
522
00:29:22.519 --> 00:29:29.849
and not just work. To have goals in all the
523
00:29:29.880 --> 00:29:32.890
different areas of my life so that I have appropriate
524
00:29:33.029 --> 00:29:37.349
balance in those areas, because I see a lot of
525
00:29:37.430 --> 00:29:41.099
times people are crushing it at work. but they're ignoring
526
00:29:41.880 --> 00:29:44.720
their health or they're ignoring their relationships and it comes
527
00:29:44.759 --> 00:29:49.740
back to bite them so someone guided me 20 years
528
00:29:49.819 --> 00:29:53.420
ago I would say 20 plus years ago to really
529
00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:56.660
set goals not just for business and career but in
530
00:29:56.759 --> 00:30:00.220
other areas too Yeah.
531
00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:03.160
It is interesting because I think we do focus on
532
00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:08.039
setting goals in our work life, but not in our
533
00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:12.589
family life or in the life we have with ourself.
534
00:30:13.140 --> 00:30:15.529
And I think that's so important as well.
535
00:30:16.789 --> 00:30:18.490
Absolutely. Okay.
536
00:30:18.529 --> 00:30:19.930
Liv, what does your calendar say?
537
00:30:19.950 --> 00:30:24.490
Do not falter. Do not hide. Lean in. You got this.
538
00:30:26.210 --> 00:30:27.779
That's a good one. That's a good one.
539
00:30:27.799 --> 00:30:30.710
And It really is what we talked about today is that,
540
00:30:30.769 --> 00:30:34.710
you know, do the thing, take the action, believe in yourself,
541
00:30:34.769 --> 00:30:36.750
change your mindset. There's so many pieces that we talked
542
00:30:36.789 --> 00:30:39.180
about that kind of all wrap into that.
543
00:30:39.279 --> 00:30:40.480
So I think that's a great one.
544
00:30:41.539 --> 00:30:42.759
We can do hard things, right?
545
00:30:42.779 --> 00:30:43.619
We can do hard things.
546
00:30:43.640 --> 00:30:44.359
We can do hard things.
547
00:30:44.579 --> 00:30:44.940
Yes.
548
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:49.440
Every single day, whether it's making the bed or getting
549
00:30:49.460 --> 00:30:51.369
the mold out of the washing machine, we can do
550
00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:53.009
hard things. That's right.
551
00:30:53.210 --> 00:30:56.890
That's exactly right. Yep. Changing a lawnmower tire. Yes.
552
00:30:56.950 --> 00:30:58.299
Or changing a lawnmower tire.
553
00:30:58.470 --> 00:30:58.779
Yes.
554
00:30:59.140 --> 00:31:02.220
Or recording an audio book and, you know, seeing how
555
00:31:02.259 --> 00:31:05.500
many words you missed the first time through. My brain
556
00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:06.539
works in weird ways.
557
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:07.400
Yes, it does.
558
00:31:07.420 --> 00:31:08.019
Yes, it does.
559
00:31:09.349 --> 00:31:11.829
Stephanie, it was so great having you on today. Where
560
00:31:11.849 --> 00:31:12.609
can people find you?
561
00:31:14.200 --> 00:31:18.279
So my website is Stephanie Richardson UYP. That stands for
562
00:31:18.420 --> 00:31:22.970
unlock your potential. So Stephanie Richardson UYP dot com. And
563
00:31:23.029 --> 00:31:28.299
I'm Coach Stephanie Richardson on Instagram, also on LinkedIn. So
564
00:31:28.420 --> 00:31:30.059
those would be great places to reach out.
565
00:31:30.819 --> 00:31:33.140
And your book. When did your book come out?
566
00:31:34.079 --> 00:31:37.180
About three years ago, Power of Coaching Volume 2 hit
567
00:31:37.299 --> 00:31:41.740
Amazon's top 100 list in three countries, which is crazy,
568
00:31:41.799 --> 00:31:44.440
but it did. That's awesome. You can order it on
569
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:46.369
my website. You can get it on Amazon as well,
570
00:31:46.390 --> 00:31:47.950
but I'd love for you to order it on my website.
571
00:31:48.130 --> 00:31:49.069
Yeah, perfect.
572
00:31:49.730 --> 00:31:52.450
Again, thank you so much for joining us today. I
573
00:31:52.490 --> 00:31:56.750
learned a lot, loved the conversation, and thank you for
574
00:31:56.809 --> 00:32:00.390
listening to this episode of Her Unshakable Confidence.
575
00:32:00.890 --> 00:32:03.200
Always remember, you are unshakable.
576
00:32:03.730 --> 00:32:05.609
Bye, guys. Bye.
577
00:32:07.700 --> 00:32:10.240
Thank you for listening to Her Unshakable Confidence.
578
00:32:11.059 --> 00:32:14.740
If this conversation resonated with you, be sure to subscribe
579
00:32:14.819 --> 00:32:17.099
and leave a review so more women can find the show.
580
00:32:17.509 --> 00:32:18.650
Keep trusting yourself.
581
00:32:19.289 --> 00:32:20.710
You are stronger than you think.
582
00:32:21.109 --> 00:32:22.730
You are unshakable.
583
00:32:23.690 --> 00:32:24.410
See you next week.
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00:00:00.070 --> 00:00:05.509
Courage comes before confidence, not after. And comfort keeps more
2
00:00:05.580 --> 00:00:10.220
people stuck than fear does. And there are a lot
3
00:00:10.259 --> 00:00:14.259
of reasons that people hold themselves back. And one of
4
00:00:14.300 --> 00:00:16.620
them is fear. And there are different types of fear
5
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:20.089
that I see. There's fear of the unknown, because when
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00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:23.129
we can't see what's on the other side, we stay
7
00:00:23.390 --> 00:00:26.789
where it's predictable, even if it feels small. We like
8
00:00:26.910 --> 00:00:29.969
the predictability and the comfort of that. And then there's
9
00:00:30.250 --> 00:00:33.450
fear of failure. That's another reason people don't leave and
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00:00:33.490 --> 00:00:36.679
do something different or move. They worry more about the
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00:00:36.759 --> 00:00:40.439
worst case scenario instead of the best case opportunity. And
12
00:00:40.460 --> 00:00:42.240
then there's fear of judgment, which I think is a
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00:00:42.299 --> 00:00:45.679
big one. A lot of people worry more about what
14
00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:49.200
other people will say than what they're capable of.
15
00:00:50.380 --> 00:00:53.759
Welcome to Her Unshakable Confidence. I'm Simone Canego.
16
00:00:54.219 --> 00:00:55.270
And I'm Olivia Canego.
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00:00:55.869 --> 00:00:59.429
Each week, we have honest conversations about confidence, self-doubt, and
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00:00:59.450 --> 00:01:01.590
the moments in life that shape who we become.
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00:01:02.009 --> 00:01:03.950
Some weeks, we talk with inspiring guests.
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00:01:04.629 --> 00:01:07.049
In other weeks, it's just the two of us sharing
21
00:01:07.109 --> 00:01:08.489
what we're learning along the way.
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00:01:08.510 --> 00:01:12.849
So pull up a chair and join the conversation. This
23
00:01:12.930 --> 00:01:14.640
is Her Unshakable Confidence.
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00:01:15.780 --> 00:01:18.959
Welcome to Her Unshakable Confidence. I'm Simone Canego.
25
00:01:19.239 --> 00:01:20.359
And I'm Olivia Canego.
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00:01:21.189 --> 00:01:23.680
And today we're talking with someone who spent over a
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decade as a therapist before she ever stepped onto a stage.
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Stephanie Richardson is a public speaking and executive coach, a
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certified world-class speaking coach and international bestselling author of the
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power of coaching volume two. She holds a master's in
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psychology and spent years as a licensed professional counselor before
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making the leap into coaching and speaking. And while building
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that clinical career, Stephanie was also a single mom growing
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00:01:51.540 --> 00:01:56.030
a direct sales organization that's now nearly 1,600 members strong.
35
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She brings that rare mix of clinical training and real
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world leadership scars to help people build genuine confidence, not
37
00:02:03.989 --> 00:02:06.530
the fake it till you make it kind. Stephanie, welcome
38
00:02:06.569 --> 00:02:08.289
to the show. Thank you so much for being here.
39
00:02:09.009 --> 00:02:11.000
I'm excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
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Yeah, absolutely.
41
00:02:13.879 --> 00:02:16.620
So I always find it interesting because we have had
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a few people who have gone from a counselor.
43
00:02:20.669 --> 00:02:23.550
Or, you know, a clinical background, a clinical.
44
00:02:23.090 --> 00:02:27.389
Background to then a coach, like, tell me the sequence,
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00:02:27.469 --> 00:02:31.270
why you chose to do this and kind of, do
46
00:02:31.289 --> 00:02:31.949
you like it better?
47
00:02:34.219 --> 00:02:39.639
It happened very organically. I was not looking for starting
48
00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:42.360
my own coaching business. I wasn't seeking it out. I
49
00:02:42.439 --> 00:02:47.129
actually had a supervisee in the counseling industry who come
50
00:02:47.169 --> 00:02:49.530
over my house one day and she said, Hey, I'm
51
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going to open my own private practice. And I was
52
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thrilled for her. And she said, yeah, but I have
53
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this one problem. And I said, what? And she said, well,
54
00:02:59.650 --> 00:03:01.969
I hired this business coach and I don't like her.
55
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She doesn't know me the way you know me. We'd
56
00:03:05.939 --> 00:03:09.280
known each other for 20 years and she's not pushing
57
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me the way I know you'll push me. Will you
58
00:03:13.039 --> 00:03:17.780
coach me? and help me open my private practice. I said, sure,
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00:03:17.840 --> 00:03:21.120
but I don't have a coaching business. I don't know
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how much to charge you or anything. She said, well,
61
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what if I just pay you what I was paying her?
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I said, okay. And she was my first coaching client
63
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and the beginning of my coaching business. So that's how
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it all organically happened eight years ago.
65
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That's very cool.
66
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And do you Do you feel like that your classical
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training still comes out in your coaching?
68
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Absolutely. There are times that my clients will say, okay,
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I feel like I've laid on your couch today. But
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I have a lot of people that ask me, what
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do I see as the difference between counseling and coaching?
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And the way I like to explain it is with
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this analogy. If you're in a car, and you're driving,
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you have two places you're looking more times than not,
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your rear view mirror and your windshield. And to me,
76
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counseling is your rear view mirror. It's what happened in
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your past and how you became the person you are,
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how it shaped you. And then how does that show
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up in your everyday life? And then there's the windshield,
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which is where you're going in your future, who you
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want to become. And that's coaching. And there's a reason
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that the rear view mirror is small and the windshield
83
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is big because you want to focus more on where
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you're going and less on your past.
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I love that.
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I love that analogy because sometimes we do focus way
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too much on our past and then obviously that affects
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how we're able to move forward.
89
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Absolutely.
90
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One of the things I really want to kind of
91
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dive into is Confident communication, because obviously this show is
92
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all about confidence, but also really understanding how many people
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struggle with speaking up with, you know, oh, should I
94
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send the email? Do I need to reread it 17,000 times? Oh,
95
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I said the wrong thing.
96
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Now what?
97
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So I'd love to understand the, you know, obviously you
98
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are a public speaking coach, but you're also a certified
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world-class speaking coach. So I kind of want to understand
100
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that as well. Because when people are looking for someone
101
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to help them, what are they looking at?
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I see there are two types of people that come
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to me for guidance. Many times people are terrified of
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public speaking and they have a lot of anxiety around
105
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doing it. And my background really helps with that because I,
106
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in the counseling industry, I worked with people that had
107
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anxiety a lot. And so I, there are techniques and
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things that I'd like to share with people, things that
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have worked for me, that things that I've learned, because
110
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I was not very confident when I first started speaking
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in front of people as well. I was, I'm more
112
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of an introvert. And so getting up in front of
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a group of people or having all the attention on
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me was not something I was initially comfortable with. And
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so I have, used a lot of the things that
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have worked for me in guiding the people that come
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to me. So that's one group of people that comes
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to me. The second group a lot of times is
119
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business owners, CEOs who have a message, but they're unsure
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about how to organize that and give it the kind
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of clarity that they want it to have to be
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able to engage the audience. And so they'll bring me
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their topic and then I'll help them up level it
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by teaching them a blueprint that I walk them through
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and how to open with a bang, how to tell
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stories that tug at people's hearts, the mistakes that a
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lot of speakers make, how to get someone to want
128
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to work with you beyond the time that you talk
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with them. And that could be a webinar, a lunch
130
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and learn, a sales presentation, a keynote. It can be
131
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a lot of different things where people are needing to
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speak up. It could be a board meeting. It could
133
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be a lot of different places. So those are kind
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of the two types of people that I see that
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come to me for guidance.
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When do you think as an individual you need coaching
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versus a therapy setting?
138
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That's a good question. I've actually had some people ask
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me that before. I feel that if you're cycling through
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the same things over and over and over in your
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therapy session and you don't feel like you're really moving,
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I've had people say, I feel like I talk to
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my therapist about the same things all the time. And
144
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if you don't feel like there's a change or a difference,
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then it's probably time for you to look at something
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different because how is that serving you to keep rehashing
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the same thing over and over every time you go
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to this session where you could have someone ask you
149
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different questions that might break through that pattern that you
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have or the blind spot that you have that could
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propel you forward beyond where you are. Does that make sense? Yeah.
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Have you thought about having coaching versus therapy?
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Well, after this conversation, especially so, because I feel like
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a lot of the times when I was in therapy,
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I didn't find it that useful because it's like, and
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I've had therapists tell me this.
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So they're like, well, you've worked through your issues. Like,
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you know, but it's like, I feel like I still
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need someone to support me and guide me, but I
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don't think the therapist was serving me in the way
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that they needed to be. And I was like, maybe
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it's just not a right fit between me and the person,
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but maybe it was the topic itself. Like maybe it
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is the fact that it's therapy and not coaching.
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I think so because you got to a point where
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you had done all the work that you could do there.
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And what I see is a pattern that people think, oh, well,
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I need to be in therapy because I've been in therapy.
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So I have this belief that I need therapy. So
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I need to stay in therapy. Well, maybe you've, gotten
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to the point where you don't need that anymore. Maybe
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you're ready to move to something that's a little more
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forward thinking instead of looking at the past. And I've
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had clients that have changed and done really well, not
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going to therapy anymore and being in coaching because I
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have the beauty of both of those backgrounds. So I
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can ask really hard questions when I need to ask
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hard questions to move somebody forward and help them see
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a blind spot that they may be having.
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It'll be interesting to see what you do, Liv.
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I know.
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I'm thinking a lot about this.
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Yeah, yeah, you should.
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So one of the things that I really love talking
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about is stop waiting to feel ready, right?
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Move forward, take action. And so the.
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Courage to cross the threshold. Let's talk a bit about
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that and your thoughts. And also, what is something somebody
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listening can do today? Because Again, for me, it's in
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the doing.
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It's about taking the action.
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I think a lot of people find that or think
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that I've got to be confident first and then I'll
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do it. But to me, it's the opposite. You have
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to do it. And that's what builds your confidence.
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Courage comes before confidence, not after. And comfort keeps more
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people stuck than fear does. And there are a lot
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of reasons that people hold themselves back. And one of
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them is fear. And there are different types of fear
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that I see. There's fear of the unknown, because when
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we can't see what's on the other side, we stay
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where it's predictable. Even if it feels small, we like
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the predictability and the comfort of that. And then there's
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fear of failure. That's another reason people don't leave and
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do something different or move. They worry more about the
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worst case scenario instead of the best case opportunity. And
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then there's fear of judgment, which I think is a
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big one. That a lot of people worry more about
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what other people will say than what they're capable of.
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And then, as you mentioned, feeling unprepared or feeling unqualified.
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We think we need more confidence or more certainty, more
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experience before we're allowed to to move forward. And then
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there's that comfort with the familiar, like I said, that
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gets in the way. There are negative beliefs that get
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in the way. Someone else can do it better. I'm
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not ready. And those quiet, negative beliefs, they stop us
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from taking bold action. And then there are past disappointments
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that come up. Maybe we walked through a door in
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the past And it didn't lead where we hoped. So
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we're hesitant to trust the next one. And that can
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also hold us back. So those are some of the
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factors that I've seen that prevent people from taking action.
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And it could be one or a combination of several
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of those. That a door will open for someone and
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those reasons prevent them from having the courage to walk
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through it.
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So what's something you would say today?
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Like if you were talking to someone and they're, whether
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it's the comfort piece, the comfort piece hits home with
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me very hard because, um, yeah, for a lot of people,
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it's just easy to stay comfortable.
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Like everything out there is scary. Why would I do it?
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Um, but I, I actually, in this point in my life,
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I feel like it's scarier to stay comfortable because it
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means I'm not doing things. I'm not, I'm not moving
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forward and I always want to have forward motion. So again,
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as I went on a tangent there, but what is
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something that you would say, okay, today, do this, try this,
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say this to yourself.
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What is something that you would recommend?
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I think it's important to start with small risks because
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small risks build your courage muscle. Confidence comes from reps,
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not from waiting. And so when you take small, low
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stakes risk, you train your brain to trust yourself to
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take other risks. So that's one of the things I
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would recommend. Also surrounding yourself with other people who are
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taking risks, because when you do that, it feels normal.
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It doesn't feel like you're the only one. When you
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see other people moving forward, you want to move forward too,
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because they're moving forward. And then you also have to
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think about, um, having someone that believes in you more
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than the belief that you have in yourself. And I
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see that a lot in my coaching that people borrow
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belief from me and I have to believe in them
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first until their belief in themselves catches up with mine.
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So sometimes it's just someone nudging you saying, I know
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you can do this. I know that you can reach
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this goal or you can, take this next step or
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you can move forward. And one of the questions I
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like to ask my clients a lot is, what is
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your next best step? And focus on the next step,
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not the entire staircase. We think we need to know
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all of the steps and everything needs to be laid
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out and we need to know exactly what we're supposed
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to do. And we don't. We just need to know
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one step that we want to take that we would
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be a little bit uncomfortable taking, but willing to take.
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And then once we take that one step, then that
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will lead to another one and another one. So asking yourself,
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what's the next best step that I can take?
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And do you think that's societal that we feel like
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we have to know everything? We have to have everything
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planned out? Because I see that with a lot of people.
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It's not just, oh, you hear it every once in
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a while. It's like, oh, we can't do that because
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I don't know, like there's so many things that I
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have to do instead of just doing that one little
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piece first.
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There are a lot of us in the world who overthink. Right.
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We overanalyze the door before we walk through it. And
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that keeps us stuck. That prevents us from walking through
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because we think about all of the things that could happen.
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And yes, all of the things could happen. Yeah. I
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had this mentor one time who used to say, jump
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and build your wings on the way down. And I
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love that because that means you don't have to know
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what you're doing. You just jump and you learn as
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you go. And I've seen that show up in my
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own life that I've just jumped many times in my life.
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And every time I've jumped, it's, There's been a lot
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of unfamiliar. There's been a lot of risk, but I've
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done it and it's turned out to be a positive outcome,
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even though it was completely frightening in the beginning, thinking
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about doing it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I mean, again, that is such a common piece of
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Not knowing the outcome, right?
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Oh, what do I do?
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Like, I don't know what's going to happen. So I'm
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just not going to do it. I'm not going to
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apply for that job because what if I don't get it?
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And, you know, it is about taking those small risks.
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And, you know, we talk about surrounding ourselves with people
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that help move us forward. But it is interesting when
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you look at friend groups, a lot of times it's
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the opposite.
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Right.
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A lot of times it's... People that make you comfortable.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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Right.
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And, you know, familiarity is comfortable.
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Yeah.
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So you don't want to go to the gym. So
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you hang out with people who don't want to go
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to the gym. You know, it's interesting how it works.
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And you're right. A lot of people do stay stuck
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because of the group that they hang around with. And
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I'm a Maxwell certified coach. And John Maxwell always says
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that if you are the smartest person in the room,
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You're in the wrong room.
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Yeah.
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You need to be surrounding yourself with people who are
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ahead of you in all different areas of your life,
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with your physical health, with your finances, your spirituality, your business, right?
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All these different areas that we have in our life
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that are important that a lot of people put in
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little boxes. They're all intertwined and they all affect us
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in every other area of our life. And if you
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surround yourself with people who are unhealthy, then you're going
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to be unhealthy because it's not, it's not who's, they're
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not pushing you and they're not like-minded. So it's important
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to definitely surround yourself with people who are going to
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push you and encourage you. And I'm not saying you
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don't have those other relationships, but you need to seek
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out the other ones as well.
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Yeah, it is very easy to stay where you are, right?
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That familiarity, the comfort factor, the, you know, I don't
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really want to do this.
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I don't think I'm capable of doing this.
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And I do think that keeps so many people stuck, obviously,
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because there's so many different groups out there, right?
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I love.
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my youngest daughter.
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She had her main friend group in high school, but
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she was also friends with so many other people in
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the class so that it wasn't like just this cliquish
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thing where she was like, oh, no, I'm going to
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go out with this group tonight or I'm going to
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go out with this group because she wanted to have
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all of those people. different kinds of relationships. We don't
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tend to do that though. And I know as adults,
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even more and more, we're like, oh, we already have
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our friends.
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We don't want to change anything.
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I was just having this conversation with, I don't even
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know who I was having it with, but I'm moving
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cities in exactly a year. And I was like, well,
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you know, like I'll be working full time. I won't
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even have time for friends. Like I already have ones.
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It'll be too hard to maintain new relationships anyways. And like,
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that's not how it works. Obviously I'm going to make friends.
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And I say this every time I go anywhere new.
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It's like, oh, I'm not going to make friends.
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What if you said the opposite?
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Maybe the opposite would come true because.
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Yeah.
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I mean.
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I don't know.
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Work towards it.
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Like say, you know, I'm going to put time into
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this instead of telling yourself it's not going to happen.
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See, it's exactly what we're talking about. You're staying too comfortable.
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Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think mindset is a big part
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of it. And that's what you're hitting on, Simone, is
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that what you tell yourself is what lives out in
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your everyday life. So whether it's not taking action on something,
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if we tell ourselves, oh, it's too hard, then we
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won't try. But if we say, I can do hard things.
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That's one of my mantras I say all the time.
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I can do hard things. I can do hard things.
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Because I've been single for so long that I've had
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to learn how to do things that a lot of
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women don't know how to do, like change tires on
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my zero turn lawnmower. You know, I've never done that
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before in my life, but I learned how to do it.
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I learned how to do things. And I just tell
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myself I could do hard things. I could do hard things.
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I can do hard things over and over until I.
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Figure it out.
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And, but same thing with you changing environments, Olivia, and,
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looking at a friend group saying I'm open to meeting
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new people.
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Right. Right.
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I'm open to meeting new people. I'm open to having,
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having new relationships in my life. I'm open to new
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experiences in a new city. That's going to be fun.
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It's going to be an adventure.
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Yes, completely.
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I truly believe that our thoughts become our reality. So
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the more we say things to ourself that are negative,
403
00:22:27.890 --> 00:22:31.109
the more we believe them. And my response to that
404
00:22:31.170 --> 00:22:33.950
is also that if we can say all these negative
405
00:22:33.990 --> 00:22:37.009
things to ourself and believe them, it can absolutely be
406
00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:40.210
the opposite, right? We can say the positive things to
407
00:22:40.250 --> 00:22:43.559
ourselves and believe them and make them our reality. But
408
00:22:43.619 --> 00:22:47.099
it's not hiding from them. It's actually doing the work
409
00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:48.940
that it takes to get there. And the mindset is,
410
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.000
for me, the first step is believing that you can,
411
00:22:52.380 --> 00:22:55.380
you know, talking to yourself, say it, you know, say
412
00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:57.750
it until you become it. Instead of fake it till
413
00:22:57.769 --> 00:23:00.130
you make it, say it until you become it. And
414
00:23:00.589 --> 00:23:04.130
we actually just did an episode right before this on
415
00:23:05.670 --> 00:23:07.609
things that are really hard that we never thought would be.
416
00:23:09.130 --> 00:23:09.250
Hard.
417
00:23:09.269 --> 00:23:11.410
So changing a lawnmower tire would be on that.
418
00:23:13.089 --> 00:23:17.390
But you get stuck in something and you're like, oh
419
00:23:17.410 --> 00:23:18.390
my gosh, that was so hard.
420
00:23:18.430 --> 00:23:19.769
I never want to do that again.
421
00:23:20.230 --> 00:23:24.079
But it's part of the learning process and we can't
422
00:23:24.140 --> 00:23:25.380
shy away from those things.
423
00:23:26.769 --> 00:23:32.849
Well, I think awareness is the first step. Being aware
424
00:23:32.910 --> 00:23:35.170
of the negative thoughts that pop into our head. I
425
00:23:35.190 --> 00:23:39.759
don't believe that they ever completely go away. But when
426
00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:42.880
they pop up, it's being aware of it and go, oh,
427
00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:45.539
there's that thought that pops up in my head from
428
00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:49.140
time to time about how I view myself. And first
429
00:23:49.180 --> 00:23:54.609
of all, catching yourself and then reframing it. into the opposite,
430
00:23:54.670 --> 00:23:57.099
like you were sharing with Olivia. And so a lot
431
00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:00.160
of times people here will reframe that, but they don't
432
00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:02.119
know what that means. What, you know, how do you
433
00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:05.859
do that? So one of the methods I teach in
434
00:24:05.960 --> 00:24:08.880
one of my workshops is when you hear a negative
435
00:24:08.940 --> 00:24:13.410
thought that pops up to say the opposite of that,
436
00:24:13.990 --> 00:24:16.950
whatever that negative thought is like, I'm a bad mom.
437
00:24:16.970 --> 00:24:19.430
A lot of moms think that from time to time,
438
00:24:19.490 --> 00:24:23.269
I'm a bad mom. That's one and say, no, I'm
439
00:24:23.349 --> 00:24:27.490
actually a great mom. And here are two reasons why
440
00:24:27.509 --> 00:24:30.799
I know I am and to provide the evidence for it.
441
00:24:31.450 --> 00:24:35.579
So when you, when you negate it and flip it
442
00:24:35.619 --> 00:24:38.900
to the opposite and then provide evidence, I think that
443
00:24:38.980 --> 00:24:43.599
helps us reframe our thought from a negative to a positive.
444
00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:44.420
Does that make sense?
445
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:45.759
For sure.
446
00:24:46.400 --> 00:24:47.519
Yeah, absolutely.
447
00:24:47.700 --> 00:24:51.589
And it is that that reframing piece. I always talk
448
00:24:51.609 --> 00:24:54.910
about the awareness piece as well, because for so long,
449
00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:58.740
I was not aware of what I was saying to myself,
450
00:24:58.779 --> 00:25:02.900
what I was saying about myself. And that absolutely is
451
00:25:02.980 --> 00:25:06.059
the first step. I, I, of course, the way I am,
452
00:25:06.099 --> 00:25:06.920
I have six children.
453
00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:09.579
So I named my, named my voice.
454
00:25:09.619 --> 00:25:12.880
So it's the what if whisperer and I call her Sally, like, Oh,
455
00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:13.759
Sally's back.
456
00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:14.559
Sally's back.
457
00:25:15.140 --> 00:25:18.700
And because it allows me to kind of separate that from,
458
00:25:19.240 --> 00:25:22.019
who I really am, because that's not real. That is
459
00:25:22.359 --> 00:25:25.039
a story that I'm telling myself, a negative story I'm
460
00:25:25.079 --> 00:25:25.720
telling myself.
461
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:29.609
Right. And we can change the story. That's the thing.
462
00:25:30.269 --> 00:25:32.269
We can change the story. We just have to know
463
00:25:32.329 --> 00:25:35.289
that the story, what the story is that we're telling
464
00:25:35.329 --> 00:25:40.069
ourselves and then be aware of that and then change it. Absolutely.
465
00:25:40.549 --> 00:25:43.269
Yeah. So let's talk for a.
466
00:25:49.430 --> 00:25:53.170
The different kinds of, I want to say evaluations, but
467
00:25:53.509 --> 00:25:54.789
you know, very interesting.
468
00:25:54.829 --> 00:25:56.529
So let's run through that just for a minute.
469
00:25:58.089 --> 00:26:02.190
Yeah. So I'm a disc consultant and that's a personality
470
00:26:02.250 --> 00:26:07.089
assessment that you can take that really helps you identify
471
00:26:07.609 --> 00:26:13.470
your strengths and areas of opportunity for growth. And what
472
00:26:13.509 --> 00:26:17.259
I find is a lot of times people stay pretty
473
00:26:17.299 --> 00:26:23.279
consistent and From one point in time to another, unless
474
00:26:23.319 --> 00:26:28.720
they significantly change their environment or their role that they
475
00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:31.440
might be working in. And then sometimes you can see
476
00:26:31.460 --> 00:26:35.869
a little bit of a shift. So what I've found is.
477
00:26:37.029 --> 00:26:40.589
It's a great tool for communication. I give it to
478
00:26:40.769 --> 00:26:43.710
companies to help them know how to communicate better with
479
00:26:43.769 --> 00:26:47.609
each other. But also I've used it with couples and
480
00:26:47.650 --> 00:26:50.329
done some couples work. And I've done some work with
481
00:26:50.430 --> 00:26:56.710
parents and their older, either teenage or college age students
482
00:26:57.289 --> 00:27:01.990
as well. Because a lot of times I find that
483
00:27:02.059 --> 00:27:07.410
these college age students don't really understand get exposed to
484
00:27:07.509 --> 00:27:10.730
it and it helps them really understand themselves, helps them
485
00:27:10.789 --> 00:27:14.819
understand what kind of career they might be really wired for.
486
00:27:15.859 --> 00:27:19.160
And then also some things that they could work on
487
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:24.400
personally to develop themselves. So I had a mom who
488
00:27:24.529 --> 00:27:26.410
I met through a networking group and she was really
489
00:27:26.470 --> 00:27:30.890
frustrated with her son because he wasn't really moving forward
490
00:27:30.930 --> 00:27:33.970
in his career. So she asked me to give him
491
00:27:34.039 --> 00:27:37.259
the disc and then do some sessions with him. And
492
00:27:37.299 --> 00:27:39.920
then he enjoyed it so much. He referred me to
493
00:27:39.980 --> 00:27:42.599
one of his friends. And so I still coach his
494
00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:48.019
friend and it's been three years. Yeah, it's great. So it's,
495
00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:51.539
it's fascinating because most people talk to other people the
496
00:27:51.599 --> 00:27:56.609
way they want to be talked to instead of adapting
497
00:27:56.650 --> 00:27:59.670
their style to the way the person is. needs to
498
00:27:59.769 --> 00:28:00.250
hear it.
499
00:28:00.789 --> 00:28:03.059
Right. That's wow.
500
00:28:03.150 --> 00:28:06.539
Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that's a key skill. I think
501
00:28:06.599 --> 00:28:11.099
that we all can do with relationships in our personal
502
00:28:11.140 --> 00:28:15.549
life and with our friends, with our family, but also
503
00:28:15.609 --> 00:28:16.470
with coworkers.
504
00:28:18.029 --> 00:28:21.589
Absolutely. What does confidence mean to you?
505
00:28:22.890 --> 00:28:29.079
Confidence to me means trusting myself, to take the risks
506
00:28:29.539 --> 00:28:33.920
and that it's going to work out. No matter what
507
00:28:33.980 --> 00:28:38.150
decision I make, I may have to change course a
508
00:28:38.170 --> 00:28:42.349
little bit, may have to adapt the action steps, but
509
00:28:42.410 --> 00:28:44.829
I'm still going to get to the goal. But it's
510
00:28:44.890 --> 00:28:48.970
trusting myself enough that I'm going to get to the goal. Yeah.
511
00:28:49.250 --> 00:28:53.470
I mean, so much of building trust with ourselves. We
512
00:28:53.509 --> 00:28:54.990
don't think about it like that.
513
00:28:55.009 --> 00:28:55.269
Right.
514
00:28:56.029 --> 00:28:58.890
It is so important. It's keeping the promises you make
515
00:28:58.930 --> 00:29:03.269
to yourself, right? I mean, we can disappoint ourselves every
516
00:29:03.309 --> 00:29:05.910
moment of our life or we can build it up.
517
00:29:05.970 --> 00:29:07.650
I mean, it just depends on how we look at it.
518
00:29:08.359 --> 00:29:08.619
Right.
519
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:12.079
What's the best advice a woman in your life has
520
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:12.799
ever given you?
521
00:29:17.380 --> 00:29:22.339
To put the focus on different areas of my life
522
00:29:22.519 --> 00:29:29.849
and not just work. To have goals in all the
523
00:29:29.880 --> 00:29:32.890
different areas of my life so that I have appropriate
524
00:29:33.029 --> 00:29:37.349
balance in those areas, because I see a lot of
525
00:29:37.430 --> 00:29:41.099
times people are crushing it at work. but they're ignoring
526
00:29:41.880 --> 00:29:44.720
their health or they're ignoring their relationships and it comes
527
00:29:44.759 --> 00:29:49.740
back to bite them so someone guided me 20 years
528
00:29:49.819 --> 00:29:53.420
ago I would say 20 plus years ago to really
529
00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:56.660
set goals not just for business and career but in
530
00:29:56.759 --> 00:30:00.220
other areas too Yeah.
531
00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:03.160
It is interesting because I think we do focus on
532
00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:08.039
setting goals in our work life, but not in our
533
00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:12.589
family life or in the life we have with ourself.
534
00:30:13.140 --> 00:30:15.529
And I think that's so important as well.
535
00:30:16.789 --> 00:30:18.490
Absolutely. Okay.
536
00:30:18.529 --> 00:30:19.930
Liv, what does your calendar say?
537
00:30:19.950 --> 00:30:24.490
Do not falter. Do not hide. Lean in. You got this.
538
00:30:26.210 --> 00:30:27.779
That's a good one. That's a good one.
539
00:30:27.799 --> 00:30:30.710
And It really is what we talked about today is that,
540
00:30:30.769 --> 00:30:34.710
you know, do the thing, take the action, believe in yourself,
541
00:30:34.769 --> 00:30:36.750
change your mindset. There's so many pieces that we talked
542
00:30:36.789 --> 00:30:39.180
about that kind of all wrap into that.
543
00:30:39.279 --> 00:30:40.480
So I think that's a great one.
544
00:30:41.539 --> 00:30:42.759
We can do hard things, right?
545
00:30:42.779 --> 00:30:43.619
We can do hard things.
546
00:30:43.640 --> 00:30:44.359
We can do hard things.
547
00:30:44.579 --> 00:30:44.940
Yes.
548
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:49.440
Every single day, whether it's making the bed or getting
549
00:30:49.460 --> 00:30:51.369
the mold out of the washing machine, we can do
550
00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:53.009
hard things. That's right.
551
00:30:53.210 --> 00:30:56.890
That's exactly right. Yep. Changing a lawnmower tire. Yes.
552
00:30:56.950 --> 00:30:58.299
Or changing a lawnmower tire.
553
00:30:58.470 --> 00:30:58.779
Yes.
554
00:30:59.140 --> 00:31:02.220
Or recording an audio book and, you know, seeing how
555
00:31:02.259 --> 00:31:05.500
many words you missed the first time through. My brain
556
00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:06.539
works in weird ways.
557
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:07.400
Yes, it does.
558
00:31:07.420 --> 00:31:08.019
Yes, it does.
559
00:31:09.349 --> 00:31:11.829
Stephanie, it was so great having you on today. Where
560
00:31:11.849 --> 00:31:12.609
can people find you?
561
00:31:14.200 --> 00:31:18.279
So my website is Stephanie Richardson UYP. That stands for
562
00:31:18.420 --> 00:31:22.970
unlock your potential. So Stephanie Richardson UYP dot com. And
563
00:31:23.029 --> 00:31:28.299
I'm Coach Stephanie Richardson on Instagram, also on LinkedIn. So
564
00:31:28.420 --> 00:31:30.059
those would be great places to reach out.
565
00:31:30.819 --> 00:31:33.140
And your book. When did your book come out?
566
00:31:34.079 --> 00:31:37.180
About three years ago, Power of Coaching Volume 2 hit
567
00:31:37.299 --> 00:31:41.740
Amazon's top 100 list in three countries, which is crazy,
568
00:31:41.799 --> 00:31:44.440
but it did. That's awesome. You can order it on
569
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:46.369
my website. You can get it on Amazon as well,
570
00:31:46.390 --> 00:31:47.950
but I'd love for you to order it on my website.
571
00:31:48.130 --> 00:31:49.069
Yeah, perfect.
572
00:31:49.730 --> 00:31:52.450
Again, thank you so much for joining us today. I
573
00:31:52.490 --> 00:31:56.750
learned a lot, loved the conversation, and thank you for
574
00:31:56.809 --> 00:32:00.390
listening to this episode of Her Unshakable Confidence.
575
00:32:00.890 --> 00:32:03.200
Always remember, you are unshakable.
576
00:32:03.730 --> 00:32:05.609
Bye, guys. Bye.
577
00:32:07.700 --> 00:32:10.240
Thank you for listening to Her Unshakable Confidence.
578
00:32:11.059 --> 00:32:14.740
If this conversation resonated with you, be sure to subscribe
579
00:32:14.819 --> 00:32:17.099
and leave a review so more women can find the show.
580
00:32:17.509 --> 00:32:18.650
Keep trusting yourself.
581
00:32:19.289 --> 00:32:20.710
You are stronger than you think.
582
00:32:21.109 --> 00:32:22.730
You are unshakable.
583
00:32:23.690 --> 00:32:24.410
See you next week.