Bon Iver asks about unexpected places

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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
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Missed opportunity.
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They're swinging away at a donkey, but it would have
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been so much better to get their favorite cartoon character
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from a certain summer blockbuster I may have starred in.
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Welcome to the handsome podcast. I am one of your
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very handsome hosts, and my name is Tig Notaro.
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My name is Mae Martin.
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And I'm your sultry, sexy-sounding fortune fiendster.
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Fortune, my goodness.
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Have you guys ever heard my voice this low before?
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Or crackly.
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Yeah, it's not the depth, it's like, it almost sounds
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like you're choked by emotion.
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I am. Or puberty. I'm choked up by... Going through puberty.
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Tell us with what's left of your voice, what happened
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to your voice?
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I don't know. I was traveling this weekend. I had
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shows in Alabama. Yeah. And it is spring there and
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there's pollen and, you know, I was literally sitting under
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trees dumping pollen on me.
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I'm picturing like little piles of yellow dust on your shoulders.
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Yes.
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With my mom in my hometown after Alabama. And out
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of nowhere, last night, I just couldn't talk anymore. I'm
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not sick. I just don't have a voice. And you
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guys miss me too much. And we didn't want to
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not be together today. That's correct.
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Yeah, we forbid it. I feel like a psychiatrist might, like,
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diagnose that psychosomatically. Like, be like, you need a break
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from being observed and heard. Or, like, you're struggling to
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say what you feel. You know what I mean?
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I would say stress is probably also involved in this.
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I think the throat is a very emotional organ. Is
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it an organ?
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It's a passage.
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The throat, I don't know if that's an organ.
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It's more like a fleshy tube.
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Fleshy tube.
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It might be an organ. I really don't know. I
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am not the one to come to about any sort
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of anything, really. Except like we were saying before we
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started the episode, Thomas found a cat. Or the cat
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found Thomas. He wanted to call me. And then he
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didn't want to bother me. And I was like, listen,
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you can always bother me about kitty stuff. But organs?
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I don't know if I'm the one to call.
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You don't want to be bothered.
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Yeah, I don't know if I'm the one to call.
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If I didn't have my voice, do you think I
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could do this?
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My funny valentine.
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Yeah.
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That is a really beautiful face.
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Oh, my God.
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It was the face. Yeah. Will you do that again, please?
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I don't know the rest of the words.
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Well, what you sang is enough to get that face going.
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My funny Valentine.
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Wow. Fortune.
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I literally can't go up an octave.
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I'm not even listening to the voice. It's the face.
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Wow. I don't know if I've ever seen that. When
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you sound sultry, you have to look sultry.
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Is that what sultry is?
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Today.
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But why can't you?
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I'm funny about it.
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Why couldn't this ailment have struck you on the night
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of the Alanis Morissette concert? And then I would have
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had to step in.
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Yes, good point, Mae.
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Yeah.
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Well, now you know this could happen at any point.
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I just have to stress you out before I realize.
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You have to pour pollen on Fortune's head and shoulders.
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I have to be tired to have pollen poured on
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my head and be stressed. Yeah.
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Wait, so Tig, you were mentioning that Thomas found a
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straight cat.
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So there's a person walking behind.
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There's a ghost in your house.
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I feel like it's my wife.
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There's a ghost in your house.
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Okay. So last night I had a friend over and
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I said to her, I've got a surprise for you
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out back because guys, I got a sauna out back
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and I was really excited. I got a lot to
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say about it, but I was really excited to show her.
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So I'm like, I got a surprise. And so we
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go to my back door. As we walk out, there
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is a white scraggly dog staring at me with like
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muddy feet and it's been shaved and it's old and
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it's scraggly and it's like, like it looks almost rabid.
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And so first of all, she thinks this is the
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surprise that I'm showing her. And so I'm like, what
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is this dog? And then I hear people shouting, marshmallow, marshmallow.
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Marshmallow.
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And so I turn around the corner and at my gate,
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like holding onto the bars of the gate are three people,
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like a grandma person.
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And, uh, was it Otzko and her grandma?
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It was, that was sort of the vibe grandma person,
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then like a sort of 50 year old woman. And
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then like, uh, a guy my age and none of
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them know each other, but the grandma person is like,
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that's my granddaughter's dog marshmallow. And then they come running in.
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I let them in and they, they, get Marshmallow and
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she picks him up and she's like, I'm going to
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give you a beating or something to the dog. And
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I was like, wait, what? And she was like, no,
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I'm joking. I don't know why I said that. She
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starts sobbing. She's like, I, my granddaughter would have killed
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me if I lost her dog. It ran away from
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the groomers. Anyway, it was all very emotional.
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Who are the other people though, if they weren't involved
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with the dog or grandmother?
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They're good Samaritans. They saw the dog bolt out of
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the groomers and then they'd been looking forever. And then
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someone saw it bolt like into my back garden, but.
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Wow.
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I just, I love it.
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Little cowboy.
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My friend thought that I was going, I've got a
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surprise for you. And then it's this like immersive theater
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experience with this upset family and this dog. Yeah.
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You're going to foster a traumatic dog.
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Yeah.
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And was the dog white?
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Yeah, it was a white dog.
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That's why it was called Marshmallow.
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I presume.
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Yeah.
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And it was not an attractive creature. It was a,
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it was stressed.
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It was no biggie.
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It was no Biggie. Oh my God.
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No.
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Oh my gosh.
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I saw a knockoff brand of Biggie.
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Really?
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Walking down the street the other day and I was like, yeah,
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good luck.
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There's a lot.
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Of knockoff Biggies in there.
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Yeah.
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That's right.
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Yeah.
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Look what I have you guys.
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What is that?
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Whiskey.
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Yeah.
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Is it?
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Because somebody told me to drink it. So guess what
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I'm about to do?
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No.
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Fortune?
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You're going to get drunk.
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Fortune. Fortune Marie.
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I'm going to get my voice.
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It is 1.15 in the afternoon.
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Oh, my God.
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They said swig whiskey.
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Why?
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For my voice. Okay, I think that's an old wives' tale.
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I don't know.
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We're going to find out. Oh, my God.
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Fortune's drinking like a Mickey of liquor.
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Wow.
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Like a hot toddy maybe with honey, lemon.
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And here's my throat coat to wash it down.
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Okay, that's good. That I approve of.
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Does throat coat work?
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We'll find out.
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Yeah.
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Some people say that whiskey is, like of all the liquors,
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it makes you angry. So are you going to get
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pissed at us?
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Let's see how this hour unfolds.
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Okay, this is a good moment for you to, maybe
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we can all air out our grievances.
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Oh, God.
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What are you upset with me about, and what are
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you upset with Mae about?
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Oh, God. We're starting with me?
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Yeah, well, because you're the one liquored up.
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Yeah. And be honest, I'm upset that you just had
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a birthday.
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Uh-huh.
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And I didn't get any birthday cake.
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Oh, yeah. Is that a rule?
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Anyone with a birthday has to sign fortune. Yes, I know.
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Max and Finn ordered. I like to have king cake
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every year. It's the cake. From Louisiana. Yeah, for Mardi Gras.
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And so I love having that. It's my favorite cake.
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Don't you bite into it and things are in it?
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Yeah, there's a baby or a penny sometimes.
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That sounds dangerous.
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It's good luck, and it's also you have to host
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the next Mardi Gras party.
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Oh, I.
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Like the idea.
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Don't yuck my yum.
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I don't want to bite into a baby and then
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have to host a party.
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It's not a real baby. It's just a very tiny
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little baby.
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How come we don't hide more stuff in food like that?
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That's such a fun element to any meal.
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Like a knife, you know, to break you out of prison?
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Yeah, a cake in the shape of a saw.
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Would you want to be proposed to via a ring
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and a piece of cake?
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I never want to be proposed to again, ever.
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No?
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Anyway, moving on.
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Oh, okay.
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Okay, so you.
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had this cake okay so yeah fortune's pissed about it
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yes every year um if anybody if anybody's looking for
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the greatest vegan cake in the world and actually other
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vegan uh snacks and cheese yvonne's vegan is it's in
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pasadena california it is so good She makes my king
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cake every year.
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00:10:22.500 --> 00:10:28.450
It is so delicious. And so Max and Finn ordered
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00:10:28.490 --> 00:10:33.309
this for me. And it was a surprise slash not surprise,
259
00:10:33.330 --> 00:10:36.809
I'll be honest, since I have it every year. But yeah,
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00:10:36.850 --> 00:10:39.070
you're right. I should have thought we need to save
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00:10:39.129 --> 00:10:42.129
some for fortune. But I was worried about your throat.
262
00:10:42.570 --> 00:10:45.090
I know, but cake makes it better.
263
00:10:45.110 --> 00:10:49.039
Right. Okay, what are you upset with Mae about? And
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00:10:49.240 --> 00:10:50.639
you can say anything.
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00:10:50.659 --> 00:10:54.100
Mae, I'm so upset with you that you had a
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00:10:54.139 --> 00:10:55.860
friend over and I wasn't invited.
267
00:10:55.879 --> 00:10:58.879
Okay, there's a theme here. There's a theme which is
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00:10:59.580 --> 00:11:03.919
fortune wants to be included. Don't leave me out.
269
00:11:05.110 --> 00:11:06.909
I mean, I was out of town for both things.
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00:11:07.450 --> 00:11:09.570
I wish that you had been there for the marshmallow
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00:11:09.610 --> 00:11:11.929
incident because you're like a dog whisperer. You could have like,
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00:11:12.490 --> 00:11:13.379
Snuggled that dog up.
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00:11:13.389 --> 00:11:13.950
Come here.
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00:11:14.090 --> 00:11:16.129
Come here, little dog. I could talk to him like this.
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00:11:16.509 --> 00:11:18.289
Come here, little doggy.
276
00:11:18.429 --> 00:11:20.629
Your voice does sound a lot better than the voice
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00:11:20.690 --> 00:11:23.080
memo you texted us this morning. Yeah.
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00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:26.220
Because I was only awake for like 30 minutes and
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00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:27.019
I'm like, uh-oh.
280
00:11:28.279 --> 00:11:31.320
That's kind of a Mae Martin strategy sometimes. It's like
281
00:11:31.559 --> 00:11:33.639
right when you wake up, your voice is pretty croaky.
282
00:11:33.700 --> 00:11:35.980
So you do the voice note then saying, you know, guys,
283
00:11:36.019 --> 00:11:37.039
I'm not feeling great.
284
00:11:37.059 --> 00:11:41.080
Note to self, now we know you're... Have you.
285
00:11:41.019 --> 00:11:41.700
Ever do that?
286
00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:43.980
No, I gave up long ago. I feel like you
287
00:11:44.019 --> 00:11:48.000
guys see through me. I gave up long ago. Day one. Yeah,
288
00:11:48.019 --> 00:11:50.519
day one you saw through me. Now, truly, if I
289
00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:52.519
say I'm sick, it's because I'm really sick. Because I
290
00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:53.539
know I can't pull one over.
291
00:11:53.559 --> 00:11:56.700
That's... that's what you'll hear when you uh when you
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00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:59.409
call in with uh i'm gonna have a cold at
293
00:11:59.429 --> 00:12:00.750
three o'clock today.
294
00:12:01.090 --> 00:12:02.909
I'm planning on having it'll be.
295
00:12:02.909 --> 00:12:04.970
Over it'll be over at 4 30.
296
00:12:04.769 --> 00:12:07.529
Yeah it'll be over at 6 30 because i have
297
00:12:07.549 --> 00:12:09.879
to go on a date then but yeah until.
298
00:12:09.539 --> 00:12:11.820
Then it'll do you really have a date.
299
00:12:12.100 --> 00:12:15.940
I don't i don't oh yeah but i'm excited for
300
00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:19.379
the possibilities of the sauna I love.
301
00:12:18.679 --> 00:12:21.950
That you have a sauna. I've thought about getting one.
302
00:12:22.139 --> 00:12:26.370
I cannot recommend it highly enough. They're not that expensive.
303
00:12:26.590 --> 00:12:31.009
They say it lowers your chance of cardiac health problems
304
00:12:31.029 --> 00:12:36.629
by like 40%. And half an hour a day. It
305
00:12:37.009 --> 00:12:39.210
heats up super fast. It smells like cedar wood. It's
306
00:12:39.269 --> 00:12:39.809
so nice.
307
00:12:40.009 --> 00:12:41.370
How many people fit in yours?
308
00:12:42.309 --> 00:12:43.049
Four, of course.
309
00:12:43.509 --> 00:12:44.450
Whoa.
310
00:12:44.850 --> 00:12:45.509
Four.
311
00:12:45.529 --> 00:12:48.169
And is it the infrared light?
312
00:12:48.590 --> 00:12:50.830
No, but I'm thinking about getting a red light in there.
313
00:12:51.649 --> 00:12:54.250
And I've named it because I watched the Severance finale
314
00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:58.600
last night. So in Severance, there's this room called Cold Harbor.
315
00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:00.519
That's like the project they're working on. And so I've
316
00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:04.070
named the sauna Hot Harbor. I might like engrave it
317
00:13:04.129 --> 00:13:04.529
or something.
318
00:13:04.570 --> 00:13:06.870
I don't know. And how long do you stay in there?
319
00:13:07.389 --> 00:13:09.850
I mean, I've only had it working for less than
320
00:13:09.850 --> 00:13:12.029
24 hours and I've been in there about 90 minutes.
321
00:13:12.789 --> 00:13:15.129
And I feel like a sack of skin, like all
322
00:13:15.190 --> 00:13:17.960
the fluids gone out of my body, but I feel healthy.
323
00:13:18.379 --> 00:13:19.600
Okay. Okay.
324
00:13:19.639 --> 00:13:23.779
And do you feel like your cardiac stuff is good?
325
00:13:24.100 --> 00:13:27.100
I think it's going to help me not smoke the
326
00:13:27.139 --> 00:13:29.159
couple cigarettes I smoke every day because when you get
327
00:13:29.220 --> 00:13:30.799
out of it, you feel so good in your body.
328
00:13:30.820 --> 00:13:31.679
You don't want to mess with that.
329
00:13:33.049 --> 00:13:33.409
Yeah.
330
00:13:33.870 --> 00:13:35.309
Should I get a cold plunge, you think?
331
00:13:35.490 --> 00:13:36.710
Do you have enough room in your yard?
332
00:13:37.330 --> 00:13:39.250
Yeah. Maybe I'll just get a bucket.
333
00:13:39.769 --> 00:13:41.730
Are you at your house, your new house?
334
00:13:41.970 --> 00:13:42.289
Yeah.
335
00:13:42.350 --> 00:13:45.450
I'm back home after so long away in so many
336
00:13:45.470 --> 00:13:46.110
different countries.
337
00:13:46.149 --> 00:13:49.450
Yeah. And are those all of your trophies and awards?
338
00:13:49.549 --> 00:13:51.269
My eyesight is terrible.
339
00:13:51.750 --> 00:13:52.409
They are.
340
00:13:52.470 --> 00:13:54.909
There's a big head on one. Yeah.
341
00:13:54.950 --> 00:13:58.549
That's like the taskmaster, you know, that game show taskmaster.
342
00:13:59.149 --> 00:14:02.070
But I didn't think about that for the podcast and
343
00:14:02.090 --> 00:14:03.870
now i'm embarrassed but those are.
344
00:14:04.129 --> 00:14:08.590
Why are you embarrassed you're a very decorated um comedian
345
00:14:08.809 --> 00:14:10.789
thank you why don't you walk us through all of
346
00:14:10.830 --> 00:14:13.710
this i see ha on something.
347
00:14:13.549 --> 00:14:15.809
Fortune's plant of course i don't want to brag about
348
00:14:15.870 --> 00:14:18.629
what i've got behind me but fortune's plant follows her
349
00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:19.990
everywhere what is.
350
00:14:19.929 --> 00:14:22.240
The ha ha ha award oh you know that was
351
00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:25.600
funny it's the rising comedy star of the year just
352
00:14:25.620 --> 00:14:29.399
for last 2023 i'd been doing comedy for 20 years
353
00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:30.080
at that point.
354
00:14:31.580 --> 00:14:34.220
You're a rising star.
355
00:14:34.779 --> 00:14:35.779
Yeah. Isn't that funny?
356
00:14:35.799 --> 00:14:38.340
Those things are all arbitrary, aren't they? But I got
357
00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:40.159
my window fixed. You'll see there's going to be no
358
00:14:40.179 --> 00:14:42.610
more Black Widow spiders coming through there.
359
00:14:42.750 --> 00:14:45.950
You should also hang a sign that says no Black
360
00:14:45.970 --> 00:14:47.529
Widow spiders allowed. Yeah.
361
00:14:47.549 --> 00:14:48.610
Whoa, what is this?
362
00:14:50.190 --> 00:14:50.889
What's that for?
363
00:14:50.909 --> 00:14:52.990
I feel like I have that same thing.
364
00:14:53.450 --> 00:14:54.509
Rise up LA.
365
00:14:54.950 --> 00:14:56.470
Rise up lights.
366
00:14:57.009 --> 00:14:57.750
Rise up lights.
367
00:14:57.870 --> 00:15:01.480
Rise up lights. Congrats on that, Forsha.
368
00:15:01.500 --> 00:15:01.990
You're not the only one.
369
00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:02.870
You want to tell us about it?
370
00:15:03.460 --> 00:15:04.820
Racking up the awards.
371
00:15:05.480 --> 00:15:06.240
She's drinking again.
372
00:15:06.259 --> 00:15:07.259
I'll see you tomorrow.
373
00:15:07.720 --> 00:15:08.919
I'll see you tomorrow.
374
00:15:08.940 --> 00:15:11.720
I have this, but I don't know who gave it
375
00:15:11.740 --> 00:15:12.120
to me.
376
00:15:12.620 --> 00:15:15.490
The fake Oscar? Sorry to assume it's fake. It is
377
00:15:15.570 --> 00:15:19.649
not fake. Sorry. It's like three inches tall.
378
00:15:19.669 --> 00:15:20.590
It weighs nothing.
379
00:15:22.029 --> 00:15:25.529
Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know where... Who
380
00:15:25.570 --> 00:15:26.309
gave me this?
381
00:15:26.509 --> 00:15:27.559
Does it have a plaque on it?
382
00:15:27.830 --> 00:15:31.230
There's nothing on it. Just a ratty old Oscar.
383
00:15:31.490 --> 00:15:34.669
I saw somebody making fun of how whenever anybody makes
384
00:15:34.710 --> 00:15:37.350
an acceptance speech, they comment on how heavy the award is.
385
00:15:37.429 --> 00:15:37.710
Yeah.
386
00:15:37.809 --> 00:15:39.730
They're always like, these really are heavy.
387
00:15:40.529 --> 00:15:44.149
And also... Looking into the camera, telling their kids to
388
00:15:44.169 --> 00:15:45.129
go to bed, of course.
389
00:15:45.149 --> 00:15:46.929
Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with that.
390
00:15:47.620 --> 00:15:49.139
Susie, Jacob.
391
00:15:49.259 --> 00:15:53.240
Go to bed, okay, kids? Go to bed.
392
00:15:54.740 --> 00:15:56.580
Oh, my God. It would be funny if you didn't
393
00:15:56.620 --> 00:15:58.620
have kids and you told your kids to go to bed.
394
00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:02.399
That's really funny. Or if you said it to your parents, Mom, Dad,
395
00:16:02.519 --> 00:16:03.070
go to bed.
396
00:16:03.090 --> 00:16:03.750
Go to bed.
397
00:16:03.990 --> 00:16:05.289
You've had too much to drink.
398
00:16:06.029 --> 00:16:08.889
Go to Oscars. It won't be next year because Conan's
399
00:16:08.929 --> 00:16:09.590
doing it again.
400
00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:10.720
Oh, is he?
401
00:16:10.740 --> 00:16:13.240
That'll give us more time to learn to tap dance.
402
00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:15.679
We could kidnap Conan.
403
00:16:15.700 --> 00:16:16.720
Just for the night.
404
00:16:16.740 --> 00:16:20.769
Or Tig, you're good friends with Conan, tell him that
405
00:16:20.809 --> 00:16:24.710
at some point he should have the handsome pod tap dance.
406
00:16:25.289 --> 00:16:25.950
At his house?
407
00:16:26.620 --> 00:16:27.980
At the next Oscars.
408
00:16:28.379 --> 00:16:30.649
He doesn't have to acknowledge it on stage. He can
409
00:16:30.690 --> 00:16:31.590
just walk by us.
410
00:16:31.809 --> 00:16:33.470
He just ignores all the tapping.
411
00:16:33.629 --> 00:16:36.419
And we're tapping. He has time to think about it.
412
00:16:36.470 --> 00:16:37.409
It's not till next year.
413
00:16:37.429 --> 00:16:41.110
Also, I want to be clear. I'm not really good
414
00:16:41.190 --> 00:16:44.529
friends with Conan. I'm certainly friends with Conan.
415
00:16:45.059 --> 00:16:47.580
That's more than we are. Yeah.
416
00:16:48.539 --> 00:16:49.500
I have his number.
417
00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:50.960
That's more than we have.
418
00:16:51.019 --> 00:16:51.240
Yeah.
419
00:16:51.340 --> 00:16:51.460
Okay.
420
00:16:51.480 --> 00:16:54.740
Okay. But I'm not good friends. If he hears this
421
00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:55.409
and he texts me.
422
00:16:55.429 --> 00:16:57.240
You're friendly enough to say, hey, bud.
423
00:16:57.759 --> 00:16:59.840
Yeah, I'm friendly enough to say, hey, bud. My pod.
424
00:17:00.059 --> 00:17:03.139
But if he hears this and he'll text me and say,
425
00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:04.700
you need to correct that.
426
00:17:05.259 --> 00:17:09.549
Yeah, you need to make an edit. We're acquaintances. Yeah.
427
00:17:13.410 --> 00:17:16.509
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.
428
00:17:16.869 --> 00:17:19.150
Not checking that I put away all my puppets before
429
00:17:19.210 --> 00:17:22.079
going to sleep. That's the stuff of nightmares. I woke
430
00:17:22.140 --> 00:17:23.319
up to get some water in the middle of the
431
00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:25.380
night and I thought an army of tiny folk had
432
00:17:25.460 --> 00:17:26.579
come to life in my house.
433
00:17:26.920 --> 00:17:28.299
Yeah, checking first is handsome.
434
00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:31.200
So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could
435
00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:32.299
save you hundreds.
436
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:34.160
You're in good hands with Allstate.
437
00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:37.880
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate,
438
00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:40.450
North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
439
00:17:41.029 --> 00:17:43.589
As we head into the fall, it is the perfect
440
00:17:43.630 --> 00:17:46.809
time to hit reset before the autumn rush. And for me,
441
00:17:47.049 --> 00:17:50.589
that always starts with my wardrobe. Quince proves you don't
442
00:17:50.609 --> 00:17:52.890
need a crowded closet to look incredible. You just need
443
00:17:52.930 --> 00:17:53.950
the right pieces.
444
00:17:54.509 --> 00:17:57.769
I am awful choosy about my denim, but I was
445
00:17:57.849 --> 00:18:01.549
so impressed by Quince's straight leg jeans. The best part
446
00:18:01.670 --> 00:18:04.980
was the quality, but the other best part was the price.
447
00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:09.619
Their jeans were priced at just $ 50. That's comparable to
448
00:18:09.619 --> 00:18:17.589
$ 245 at traditional retail. That's a 79% savings. Plus, you
449
00:18:17.609 --> 00:18:20.309
get an amazing pair of jeans to go with all
450
00:18:20.930 --> 00:18:24.150
your cash. I find myself reaching for my Quince jeans
451
00:18:24.349 --> 00:18:25.190
over and over again.
452
00:18:25.329 --> 00:18:26.549
Quince, I'm a fan.
453
00:18:27.579 --> 00:18:30.349
Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince.
454
00:18:30.569 --> 00:18:34.150
Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com
455
00:18:34.289 --> 00:18:38.349
slash handsome. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
456
00:18:38.789 --> 00:18:43.970
Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E
457
00:18:44.369 --> 00:18:45.990
dot com slash handsome.
458
00:18:47.799 --> 00:18:49.839
I saw some clips of him from the Mark Twain
459
00:18:49.880 --> 00:18:54.660
Award and... He's just such a great speaker. He had
460
00:18:54.680 --> 00:18:55.910
some really cool things to say.
461
00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:56.720
He's so funny.
462
00:18:57.039 --> 00:19:01.160
He's by far one of the top five funniest people.
463
00:19:01.180 --> 00:19:02.089
I agree.
464
00:19:02.220 --> 00:19:03.470
Living. I agree.
465
00:19:03.490 --> 00:19:05.890
I mean, I kind of can't get over it every time.
466
00:19:06.210 --> 00:19:10.430
And I know he's massively famous and everyone loves him,
467
00:19:10.450 --> 00:19:13.289
but I feel like, I don't know, I don't hear
468
00:19:13.349 --> 00:19:18.690
enough of people really recognizing that he's still so funny.
469
00:19:18.710 --> 00:19:21.539
He's so funny in everything he does. It's so effortless.
470
00:19:21.950 --> 00:19:26.970
It's so like joyful almost. Like, yeah, we got to celebrate.
471
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:27.859
So smart.
472
00:19:28.220 --> 00:19:28.519
Yeah.
473
00:19:28.740 --> 00:19:33.380
And like so curveball-y. Like whatever topic he has an
474
00:19:33.660 --> 00:19:38.160
angle that I'm like, oh my gosh, didn't see that
475
00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:41.349
coming at all. And which, you know, of course is
476
00:19:41.720 --> 00:19:44.470
the key to comedy. But also it's fun sometimes when
477
00:19:44.490 --> 00:19:47.029
you see where a joke is going and it unravels
478
00:19:47.109 --> 00:19:47.849
to your delight.
479
00:19:48.150 --> 00:19:51.799
Where you're like i like that his specific talent is
480
00:19:51.890 --> 00:19:55.000
like his whole being is just a fun a funny
481
00:19:55.059 --> 00:19:57.339
person like it's you know what i mean like he
482
00:19:57.380 --> 00:20:00.599
just put him in any situation and his reactions like
483
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:04.210
his deadpan reaction to when He kind of engineers a
484
00:20:04.230 --> 00:20:06.970
situation where someone insults him and then he is so
485
00:20:07.009 --> 00:20:09.130
deadpan like that. It kills me.
486
00:20:09.150 --> 00:20:13.359
He is a silly, silly man. And God, do I
487
00:20:13.460 --> 00:20:13.799
love it.
488
00:20:15.160 --> 00:20:15.579
Anyway.
489
00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:18.059
Anyway, he's not our question asker.
490
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:21.700
No, he's not. And I'm realizing we didn't make it
491
00:20:21.779 --> 00:20:25.420
full circle around where we all could share what we're
492
00:20:25.500 --> 00:20:26.359
so upset with.
493
00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:27.940
Each other about. What are you upset about?
494
00:20:27.960 --> 00:20:30.940
I don't know if you want to hear it. Really?
495
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:31.559
Yeah.
496
00:20:31.579 --> 00:20:34.400
I think we should save it for another episode when
497
00:20:34.420 --> 00:20:35.559
you're not this sick.
498
00:20:36.140 --> 00:20:37.359
I don't know. I can take it.
499
00:20:37.380 --> 00:20:40.940
I don't think you can. I am so upset with you.
500
00:20:42.589 --> 00:20:44.660
And May. I could take it.
501
00:20:44.690 --> 00:20:44.970
Yeah.
502
00:20:45.789 --> 00:20:49.289
I think the person who's airing the grievances needs to
503
00:20:49.309 --> 00:20:51.829
be drunk on whiskey. That should be the rule.
504
00:20:51.910 --> 00:20:53.069
How's the whiskey going?
505
00:20:53.369 --> 00:20:54.150
Bottoms up.
506
00:20:54.410 --> 00:20:57.339
And who told you whiskey would help your voice?
507
00:20:57.920 --> 00:20:59.400
Somebody on Instagram.
508
00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:01.759
Are you serious?
509
00:21:02.339 --> 00:21:02.640
Yeah.
510
00:21:03.079 --> 00:21:04.200
I listen to my followers.
511
00:21:04.599 --> 00:21:05.000
Okay.
512
00:21:05.180 --> 00:21:08.099
And then why do you have such a tiny little.
513
00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:13.549
Because I checked my messages. I saw this... Two people
514
00:21:13.589 --> 00:21:17.569
made this suggestion. I don't do something on just one suggestion.
515
00:21:17.589 --> 00:21:18.289
Yeah.
516
00:21:18.329 --> 00:21:21.009
You need two strangers on Instagram.
517
00:21:21.029 --> 00:21:23.059
Two strangers have to have suggested it.
518
00:21:23.329 --> 00:21:23.650
Okay.
519
00:21:23.769 --> 00:21:25.329
And I'm sitting here and I'm like, I'm about to
520
00:21:25.349 --> 00:21:29.759
start handsome. My throat's being a bad girl.
521
00:21:32.500 --> 00:21:33.400
A bad little lady.
522
00:21:34.500 --> 00:21:37.619
And I looked over and what was sitting on the
523
00:21:37.660 --> 00:21:41.400
desk from my last airplane ride was They just hand
524
00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:43.400
me a bunch of these when I fly, and I'm like, ugh.
525
00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:44.339
They do?
526
00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:46.740
I don't know why.
527
00:21:46.859 --> 00:21:49.339
I've never been on a flight, and a flight attendant
528
00:21:49.380 --> 00:21:50.839
just hands me a handful.
529
00:21:51.119 --> 00:21:53.299
I drink, but I don't drink like a crazy, you know,
530
00:21:53.319 --> 00:21:54.880
I'm not like a. Yeah.
531
00:21:55.220 --> 00:21:56.019
So you just sit down.
532
00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:58.180
What are you, famous for drinking whiskey?
533
00:21:58.589 --> 00:22:00.990
No, I think it's from my Chelsea Lately days. Some
534
00:22:01.029 --> 00:22:03.529
of the gays that watched that show back in the
535
00:22:03.549 --> 00:22:05.930
day are just like, here, girl, have fun. And I'm
536
00:22:05.970 --> 00:22:07.789
just like, oh, thanks.
537
00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:10.460
Just because they want to celebrate you.
538
00:22:10.759 --> 00:22:12.640
I either don't drink on a plane or I don't
539
00:22:12.660 --> 00:22:13.740
drink more than one of these.
540
00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:17.400
I would be in a wheelchair if I drank one
541
00:22:17.420 --> 00:22:18.559
of those tiny little ones.
542
00:22:18.700 --> 00:22:24.059
That's true, Tig. I sometimes, before a show, I'll have
543
00:22:24.099 --> 00:22:26.660
like a sip of whiskey just to have the taste
544
00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:29.180
in my mouth because of like the sense memory of
545
00:22:29.309 --> 00:22:32.190
drunk confidence. Even though I'm not drunk at all, I
546
00:22:32.569 --> 00:22:34.369
have just the taste in my mouth and I'm like, oh,
547
00:22:34.390 --> 00:22:35.710
I must be feeling real loose.
548
00:22:36.250 --> 00:22:36.869
Interesting.
549
00:22:36.890 --> 00:22:37.869
I haven't even imbibed.
550
00:22:38.210 --> 00:22:41.349
I will say my voice feels better already in the
551
00:22:41.390 --> 00:22:42.230
last five minutes.
552
00:22:42.250 --> 00:22:46.839
It sounds really good and less sexy, unfortunately.
553
00:22:46.859 --> 00:22:47.599
I know.
554
00:22:47.619 --> 00:22:55.539
Back to my southern twang. Sorry, you're drinking smooth move
555
00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:56.380
tea for this?
556
00:22:57.099 --> 00:22:59.529
Coat throat, but I do like smooth move.
557
00:22:59.849 --> 00:23:00.809
Do you really?
558
00:23:00.930 --> 00:23:02.529
Smooth move, where'd you get that?
559
00:23:03.029 --> 00:23:03.710
That's a tea.
560
00:23:03.829 --> 00:23:04.650
That's a real thing?
561
00:23:04.930 --> 00:23:06.420
Yeah. I thought you just made it up.
562
00:23:06.430 --> 00:23:06.769
Smooth move?
563
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:08.799
You didn't know about smooth move?
564
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:09.759
No. What is this?
565
00:23:10.259 --> 00:23:12.220
Oh, my gosh. This is a tea that you can
566
00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:13.809
drink to have a smooth move.
567
00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:15.230
Really?
568
00:23:15.450 --> 00:23:16.529
Oh, like you're.
569
00:23:16.250 --> 00:23:17.430
In your butt.
570
00:23:17.549 --> 00:23:17.809
Yeah.
571
00:23:17.869 --> 00:23:18.230
Wow.
572
00:23:18.430 --> 00:23:18.609
Oh.
573
00:23:19.309 --> 00:23:23.029
Yeah. I've only had it once. It's licorice tasting.
574
00:23:23.049 --> 00:23:23.269
Yeah.
575
00:23:23.309 --> 00:23:23.569
Yeah.
576
00:23:23.970 --> 00:23:26.130
Yeah. You're like, get it out of my body.
577
00:23:26.250 --> 00:23:27.759
I do like black licorice.
578
00:23:28.190 --> 00:23:28.480
Really?
579
00:23:28.500 --> 00:23:30.220
I hate it. Yeah.
580
00:23:30.259 --> 00:23:32.099
But do you like red licorice, Fortune?
581
00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:34.200
I like it, but I don't love it.
582
00:23:34.660 --> 00:23:37.359
Because apparently if you like red licorice, then you like
583
00:23:37.380 --> 00:23:40.480
the smell of gasoline. And if you like black licorice,
584
00:23:41.180 --> 00:23:44.829
that's like you're like a rabbit because rabbits love licorice.
585
00:23:46.250 --> 00:23:47.109
I don't love the smell of gasoline.
586
00:23:47.130 --> 00:23:49.009
There's a couple flaws in that whole.
587
00:23:49.109 --> 00:23:50.009
No, no, no.
588
00:23:50.470 --> 00:23:52.450
I don't see a single flaw, Mae.
589
00:23:52.470 --> 00:23:57.630
I accidentally poured gasoline all over myself this weekend.
590
00:23:57.849 --> 00:23:58.369
What?
591
00:23:59.049 --> 00:24:00.470
Not on purpose.
592
00:24:00.490 --> 00:24:01.119
Either way.
593
00:24:01.150 --> 00:24:05.130
At the gas station. All over you, like on your head.
594
00:24:05.390 --> 00:24:10.730
I pulled out the handle, the thing, and the little
595
00:24:10.750 --> 00:24:14.750
button thing was already down.
596
00:24:15.670 --> 00:24:16.950
So it was gushing out?
597
00:24:16.990 --> 00:24:19.430
So I opened it and it just started gushing out.
598
00:24:19.730 --> 00:24:22.609
Oh my God. That's so dangerous. Not a great smell.
599
00:24:22.930 --> 00:24:23.650
I love the smell.
600
00:24:23.890 --> 00:24:24.369
You do?
601
00:24:24.390 --> 00:24:28.940
I love the smell of gas, petrol, superglue. permanent marker.
602
00:24:29.319 --> 00:24:31.980
I used to as a kid, but I've moved on.
603
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:35.230
Yeah, you got to guard what brain cells are.
604
00:24:35.390 --> 00:24:40.089
Yeah, I have a year away from my retirement community.
605
00:24:40.430 --> 00:24:43.509
Right. Do you think that would be a good slasher
606
00:24:43.549 --> 00:24:46.220
movie that takes place at a retirement community?
607
00:24:46.380 --> 00:24:48.720
Yes, write it. Okay. I'll star in it.
608
00:24:48.920 --> 00:24:52.160
Okay. For real? Yeah, of course. Okay, great. As long
609
00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:53.960
as I can live there. I'll be someone that works there.
610
00:24:54.539 --> 00:24:57.119
Yeah, great. And also, I know from doing this podcast
611
00:24:57.349 --> 00:24:59.789
enough that You said many times, Tig, that you don't
612
00:24:59.829 --> 00:25:02.329
have range, so I'm going to write it specifically for you.
613
00:25:02.630 --> 00:25:02.930
Yes.
614
00:25:03.250 --> 00:25:05.869
Yeah, you basically just have to be like, hi, I'm Tig.
615
00:25:06.109 --> 00:25:07.130
Yeah, and I'm old.
616
00:25:08.490 --> 00:25:10.150
But we could give you full gray hair.
617
00:25:10.170 --> 00:25:11.230
Yeah.
618
00:25:11.269 --> 00:25:14.009
I thought there was going to be more to that sentence.
619
00:25:14.049 --> 00:25:17.220
You have that long gray hair in y'all's movie.
620
00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:22.539
Yes, in Am I Okay? I'm in a long-haired gray wig.
621
00:25:23.059 --> 00:25:23.740
That's hilarious.
622
00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:26.619
So tune in to Am I Okay?
623
00:25:26.740 --> 00:25:28.779
Do you think when you get older, you will grow
624
00:25:28.819 --> 00:25:29.420
your hair out?
625
00:25:29.819 --> 00:25:32.180
How much older? Because again, I'm one year away from
626
00:25:32.259 --> 00:25:33.299
retirement community.
627
00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:37.009
Like, you know, 70 or something.
628
00:25:37.009 --> 00:25:37.289
70.
629
00:25:37.289 --> 00:25:38.210
Wait, are you saying like long?
630
00:25:38.269 --> 00:25:39.490
Long hair, yeah.
631
00:25:40.049 --> 00:25:41.250
Oh, not sure about that.
632
00:25:41.349 --> 00:25:43.759
It doesn't have to be gray. You can still dye it,
633
00:25:43.829 --> 00:25:44.730
but will it be long?
634
00:25:44.910 --> 00:25:47.069
What do you mean still dye? I don't dye my hair.
635
00:25:47.230 --> 00:25:48.170
Oh, my bad.
636
00:25:49.750 --> 00:25:51.210
You thought I dyed my hair?
637
00:25:51.230 --> 00:25:53.099
Can I be honest? I did too.
638
00:25:53.859 --> 00:25:54.319
Really?
639
00:25:54.339 --> 00:25:55.410
I kind of thought.
640
00:25:55.430 --> 00:25:58.019
I dye my, I highlight my hair.
641
00:25:58.039 --> 00:26:00.619
I don't, no. Haven't I told you that I feel
642
00:26:00.660 --> 00:26:02.980
like I am the opposite of when people go, what
643
00:26:03.019 --> 00:26:06.440
has this person done with their face? Like with plastic surgery?
644
00:26:06.460 --> 00:26:11.089
I'm like, I realized one day. That people with plastic
645
00:26:11.130 --> 00:26:13.910
surgery are looking at me going, does she not know
646
00:26:13.970 --> 00:26:17.480
that she can have things done? Because my teeth are
647
00:26:17.539 --> 00:26:21.920
cracked and yellow. I have wrinkles and I have gray hair.
648
00:26:21.940 --> 00:26:23.779
Look what I have.
649
00:26:24.259 --> 00:26:25.180
Oh, what is that?
650
00:26:25.700 --> 00:26:28.509
Effortlessly handsome. Yeah, what is that, Fortune? It looks like
651
00:26:28.549 --> 00:26:29.150
a vibrator.
652
00:26:29.549 --> 00:26:30.869
It does look like one, doesn't it?
653
00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:33.730
Oh, it goes under your eyes for puffy eyes?
654
00:26:33.750 --> 00:26:34.390
Yes.
655
00:26:34.690 --> 00:26:38.049
Don't tempt me because I will order everything under the sun.
656
00:26:38.309 --> 00:26:39.569
I don't know if you can see this that I
657
00:26:39.609 --> 00:26:40.089
just bought.
658
00:26:40.109 --> 00:26:41.410
This is all the rage, Mae.
659
00:26:42.250 --> 00:26:42.970
Like an eye wand.
660
00:26:43.029 --> 00:26:44.130
It's a Therabody.
661
00:26:44.150 --> 00:26:45.329
Okay, I'm getting it.
662
00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:46.609
Oh, de-puffer.
663
00:26:47.230 --> 00:26:47.849
Therabody de-puffer.
664
00:26:47.910 --> 00:26:49.539
And it looks like a vibrator.
665
00:26:49.559 --> 00:26:56.309
De-puffer or de-puffer? I don't think it's a de-puffer.
666
00:26:56.430 --> 00:27:00.190
De-puffer. Hey, de-puffer.
667
00:27:00.309 --> 00:27:02.490
Hey, if it isn't Fortune de-puffer.
668
00:27:02.930 --> 00:27:04.190
It's been a while, buddy.
669
00:27:04.609 --> 00:27:08.690
This is not a sponsored ad, but Mae, it gets
670
00:27:08.769 --> 00:27:10.470
cold and hot like immediately.
671
00:27:10.490 --> 00:27:11.619
Okay, I'm going to get one.
672
00:27:11.670 --> 00:27:14.740
Good thing it's not a sponsored ad because they would
673
00:27:14.980 --> 00:27:15.329
drop us.
674
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:16.140
They'd be complaining.
675
00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:18.220
They'd be like, we're not de-puffer.
676
00:27:18.539 --> 00:27:23.720
I want like a... mafia character like a gangster character
677
00:27:23.779 --> 00:27:25.240
who has asthma who's called.
678
00:27:25.059 --> 00:27:30.059
The puffer the puffer so you're saying de-puffer.
679
00:27:29.619 --> 00:27:33.069
Yeah so I ordered this which might look like a
680
00:27:33.130 --> 00:27:35.809
normal black hat just like the one I'm wearing.
681
00:27:35.430 --> 00:27:37.849
Looks brown it does look it looks green to.
682
00:27:37.849 --> 00:27:42.490
Me oh that's just the light the golden light, but
683
00:27:42.509 --> 00:27:42.769
if you.
684
00:27:42.690 --> 00:27:46.880
Look inside, it's lined with silver or something to stop
685
00:27:46.930 --> 00:27:50.500
like the radiation rays that we're all getting apparently from
686
00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:54.579
our phones and, and walking around all the wifi way.
687
00:27:54.660 --> 00:27:58.549
It's like wearing a tinfoil hat, but it's real. And
688
00:27:58.589 --> 00:28:02.029
then I I've been reading all about these dangerous waves
689
00:28:02.069 --> 00:28:04.200
that we're absorbing and I'm like, I can't believe I
690
00:28:04.220 --> 00:28:07.190
live in this reality that I'm buying basically a tinfoil
691
00:28:07.210 --> 00:28:07.809
hat to wear.
692
00:28:07.829 --> 00:28:10.990
Are you telling me you bought yourself a de-puffer hat?
693
00:28:11.450 --> 00:28:14.750
I bought myself a de-radio puffer hat.
694
00:28:14.809 --> 00:28:15.329
All right.
695
00:28:15.369 --> 00:28:17.990
And what is this little lady holding right up there?
696
00:28:18.410 --> 00:28:21.009
If you're watching on YouTube, Fortune's holding up a delightful
697
00:28:21.049 --> 00:28:21.849
little handbag.
698
00:28:22.029 --> 00:28:24.490
It's my Chewy Vuitton Paris bag.
699
00:28:25.150 --> 00:28:30.470
Chewy Vuitton. It's Biggie's. It's Biggie's actual bag?
700
00:28:30.869 --> 00:28:31.119
Yeah.
701
00:28:31.470 --> 00:28:32.359
And what do you keep in there?
702
00:28:33.309 --> 00:28:34.529
No, it's a squeeze toy.
703
00:28:35.650 --> 00:28:36.410
Oh, okay.
704
00:28:36.910 --> 00:28:38.930
Should we get to our question asker?
705
00:28:38.950 --> 00:28:40.529
I wouldn't have it any other way.
706
00:28:40.730 --> 00:28:45.750
Today's question asker is a Grammy-winning singer, songwriter, and producer
707
00:28:45.789 --> 00:28:50.009
best known as the front man of indie folk band
708
00:28:50.509 --> 00:28:54.990
Bon Iver. He's got one of the most distinctive and
709
00:28:55.109 --> 00:28:59.609
beautiful voices in all of music. Bon Iver's new album
710
00:28:59.750 --> 00:29:06.690
is called Sable Fable. Justin Vernon is asking today's question.
711
00:29:07.210 --> 00:29:08.670
I never knew his name was Justin Vernon.
712
00:29:08.690 --> 00:29:09.470
I didn't know that either.
713
00:29:09.490 --> 00:29:10.609
Oh, well, now you know.
714
00:29:10.630 --> 00:29:12.089
And you know he sang with Taylor Swift.
715
00:29:12.670 --> 00:29:16.450
Yes, I know. I'm a big fan. Bon Iver's voice
716
00:29:17.369 --> 00:29:20.759
when he says, come on, skinny love.
717
00:29:20.970 --> 00:29:23.339
Oh, I mean, come on. I'm crying.
718
00:29:23.390 --> 00:29:23.990
Kill me now.
719
00:29:24.279 --> 00:29:25.740
Kill me right now.
720
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:27.960
Put me in the grave. Put me in a coffin.
721
00:29:27.980 --> 00:29:28.109
Oh, God.
722
00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:34.049
That's yours.
723
00:29:34.369 --> 00:29:35.130
That's yours.
724
00:29:35.170 --> 00:29:36.750
Yeah, that's all yours, baby doll.
725
00:29:39.980 --> 00:29:41.410
Wait, should we hear his question?
726
00:29:41.430 --> 00:29:43.049
Oh, yes. Oh, that's right.
727
00:29:43.069 --> 00:29:44.750
I forgot why we were even here.
728
00:29:44.769 --> 00:29:48.849
Hey, handsome. Huge fan of all of yours.
729
00:29:49.289 --> 00:29:49.430
What?
730
00:29:49.450 --> 00:29:50.170
I'm happy to be here.
731
00:29:50.490 --> 00:29:51.430
My name's Justin.
732
00:29:51.970 --> 00:29:52.849
He's handsome.
733
00:29:53.190 --> 00:29:56.420
And I got a question for everybody. Have you ever
734
00:29:56.500 --> 00:30:03.490
been in a place that was so unexpected? that you
735
00:30:03.549 --> 00:30:06.170
couldn't believe it and you can't believe it still when
736
00:30:06.190 --> 00:30:09.470
you look back and and how did it change you
737
00:30:09.869 --> 00:30:14.619
what what happened and and uh why was it so unexpected.
738
00:30:14.019 --> 00:30:18.339
Okay i not to objectify him but i didn't know
739
00:30:18.599 --> 00:30:21.220
justin was such a babe i mean i've seen him
740
00:30:21.319 --> 00:30:24.839
i've seen him before but like yeah i got blush
741
00:30:24.900 --> 00:30:27.829
i was blushing a handsome fella he's got a cheeky
742
00:30:28.009 --> 00:30:29.789
a cheeky sparkle in his eye and that's all i
743
00:30:29.829 --> 00:30:32.369
like in a person is like a piratic twinkle in
744
00:30:32.410 --> 00:30:32.829
the eye.
745
00:30:32.809 --> 00:30:37.009
No sense of humor no intelligence that's no no just
746
00:30:37.049 --> 00:30:40.349
the twinkle compassion no no empathy yeah.
747
00:30:40.049 --> 00:30:42.599
Just looking for a twinkle just need that twinkle.
748
00:30:47.660 --> 00:30:50.460
I think if you have a twinkle you have some empathy.
749
00:30:50.420 --> 00:30:54.019
And some intelligence I think that was a great question too.
750
00:30:54.299 --> 00:30:54.500
Yeah.
751
00:30:54.579 --> 00:30:56.900
And I thought right out of the gate that I
752
00:30:56.980 --> 00:30:57.819
had the answer.
753
00:30:57.839 --> 00:30:57.920
Yeah.
754
00:30:58.880 --> 00:31:01.309
And I've talked about it on the podcast, which was
755
00:31:01.430 --> 00:31:04.490
where I, I was invited with who we spoke about
756
00:31:04.609 --> 00:31:07.809
Conan O'Brien and a bunch of others to go to the,
757
00:31:08.769 --> 00:31:09.670
the Vatican.
758
00:31:09.750 --> 00:31:10.289
Oh my God.
759
00:31:10.329 --> 00:31:10.569
Yeah.
760
00:31:10.910 --> 00:31:11.329
The Pope.
761
00:31:11.369 --> 00:31:13.430
I was like, well, I didn't expect this in my life,
762
00:31:14.049 --> 00:31:19.130
but then I immediately switched to when I was asked to,
763
00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:22.960
this is a lot of rock stars in one sitting,
764
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:27.339
but Chris Martin asked me to surprise Dakota Johnson on
765
00:31:27.380 --> 00:31:29.099
her 30th birthday. Do you know about this?
766
00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:29.759
No.
767
00:31:29.779 --> 00:31:31.859
Okay. So I get an email.
768
00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:33.079
Has she done your movie yet?
769
00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:34.859
No, this is how I met her.
770
00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:35.519
Okay.
771
00:31:35.720 --> 00:31:40.910
Chris Martin emails me and he's like, hey, this is
772
00:31:40.990 --> 00:31:45.230
Chris Martin. Dakota Johnson is my girlfriend and you are
773
00:31:45.289 --> 00:31:49.450
her favorite comedian. And he said, and he said, She's
774
00:31:49.509 --> 00:31:52.490
turning 30 years old. This is a few years back.
775
00:31:52.750 --> 00:31:54.859
I would have erased this email because I would have
776
00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:56.079
been certain it was spam.
777
00:31:56.299 --> 00:32:00.000
Right. It sounds like I'm a Saudi prince and I
778
00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:00.579
just need.
779
00:32:00.599 --> 00:32:01.440
Yeah, yeah.
780
00:32:01.980 --> 00:32:02.930
Why? Are those not real?
781
00:32:03.849 --> 00:32:06.089
You've been sending... Malt money.
782
00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:12.660
So he says, you are Dakota's favorite comedian. Will you
783
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:16.660
surprise her on her 30th birthday? And I'm like, OK,
784
00:32:16.680 --> 00:32:22.650
I can do this. And I I show up. It's
785
00:32:22.690 --> 00:32:29.190
this place in Malibu. It's outdoors. It's I get. I
786
00:32:29.250 --> 00:32:33.170
show up and I get shuffled immediately into basically a
787
00:32:33.329 --> 00:32:34.130
broom closet.
788
00:32:34.990 --> 00:32:37.910
You're like, can I at least have a salad?
789
00:32:39.190 --> 00:32:43.589
But meanwhile, it's like this outdoor event where there's food trucks,
790
00:32:43.650 --> 00:32:48.250
there's a stage, there's like a Led Zeppelin cover band playing.
791
00:32:48.269 --> 00:32:48.750
Oh, sick.
792
00:32:48.890 --> 00:32:54.109
And there's every massive celebrity you've ever, ever dreamed of. Oh,
793
00:32:54.119 --> 00:32:55.640
my God. In one place.
794
00:32:55.960 --> 00:32:56.900
And you're in the broom closet.
795
00:32:57.039 --> 00:33:00.269
I'm in the broom closet. And I'm with my friend.
796
00:33:00.289 --> 00:33:01.990
Let's get this les back in that closet.
797
00:33:02.009 --> 00:33:07.210
Yeah, let's shove the old lesbian back there. So I'm
798
00:33:07.230 --> 00:33:10.069
in the broom closet. I'm with my friend Greg, another
799
00:33:10.210 --> 00:33:12.690
comedian who I brought as my date. And all I
800
00:33:12.789 --> 00:33:16.839
asked for was tea, not for throat coat or smooth move,
801
00:33:16.900 --> 00:33:21.650
just tea. Usually spearmint or mint tea. And so I'm
802
00:33:21.670 --> 00:33:24.589
just sitting in this essentially broom closet waiting to be
803
00:33:24.630 --> 00:33:27.369
called on stage. And Chris comes back and says hello
804
00:33:27.410 --> 00:33:30.579
and thanks me for being there. And I'm like, sure thing.
805
00:33:30.690 --> 00:33:32.400
And he was like, sorry, I just really want to
806
00:33:32.779 --> 00:33:35.880
make this a surprise. And I'm like, yeah, no problem.
807
00:33:36.200 --> 00:33:38.720
And then I go out on stage. and I, and I,
808
00:33:38.740 --> 00:33:40.289
and I said to Chris, I was like, are you
809
00:33:40.549 --> 00:33:45.190
sure I'm her favorite comedian? Because I said, I am
810
00:33:45.289 --> 00:33:51.809
mortified thinking about like, maybe you misunderstood something. And it's
811
00:33:51.890 --> 00:33:54.549
like the big moment of the night is he's surprising
812
00:33:54.609 --> 00:33:57.130
her with me and there, and she's like, who is this?
813
00:33:57.650 --> 00:34:00.089
So I want, he's like, I am certain it's you.
814
00:34:00.289 --> 00:34:04.200
And I'm like, okay. So It's time for my performance,
815
00:34:04.279 --> 00:34:08.460
and I'm led out onto the stage, and Chris and
816
00:34:08.900 --> 00:34:12.780
Dakota are sitting front row center, and I'm like, oh,
817
00:34:13.090 --> 00:34:17.630
my Lord. I'm very self-conscious because I'm still thinking, like,
818
00:34:18.150 --> 00:34:20.309
I wonder if he has the wrong person.
819
00:34:20.329 --> 00:34:21.130
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
820
00:34:21.389 --> 00:34:25.150
And I do my show. Does it go well?
821
00:34:25.170 --> 00:34:28.889
I feel....
822
00:34:27.559 --> 00:34:31.079
Think it did it I think it went well enough
823
00:34:31.179 --> 00:34:35.440
to where I you know was friendly with Dakota after
824
00:34:35.559 --> 00:34:37.400
and we worked together and.
825
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:39.599
Did she react when you came out was she like
826
00:34:39.659 --> 00:34:40.719
oh my god.
827
00:34:40.920 --> 00:34:43.579
Well Dakota doesn't she's not a real oh my god
828
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:45.320
kind of person.
829
00:34:44.820 --> 00:34:45.840
Right she's like you yeah.
830
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:49.449
She's way chill which it all kind of made sense
831
00:34:49.530 --> 00:34:54.010
after that point where I'm like she's so like she's
832
00:34:54.050 --> 00:34:56.849
not oh my god So anyway, I meet her after,
833
00:34:56.929 --> 00:35:00.360
that's all nice and everything. And then Robert Downey Jr.
834
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:04.739
comes up to me and he's giving me all these
835
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:09.519
nice compliments and like really specific compliments about the different
836
00:35:09.559 --> 00:35:12.320
jokes and whatever. And I'm like, oh, wow, he really
837
00:35:12.340 --> 00:35:14.889
gets my sense of humor. And then he says, and
838
00:35:14.909 --> 00:35:16.489
his wife is standing there.
839
00:35:16.349 --> 00:35:17.389
Too, Susan.
840
00:35:18.340 --> 00:35:22.619
And he says, my wife was wanting tea and that
841
00:35:22.659 --> 00:35:24.780
sounds good to me too. And I'm curious, where did
842
00:35:24.820 --> 00:35:30.380
you get your tea? And I said, oh, I've been
843
00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:33.510
sitting in a broom closet for the past hour and
844
00:35:33.570 --> 00:35:39.010
I have tea in that broom closet and some hot water.
845
00:35:39.469 --> 00:35:42.170
And he was like, do you mind taking us there
846
00:35:42.329 --> 00:35:43.610
to get some tea?
847
00:35:43.650 --> 00:35:44.570
And I was like, sure.
848
00:35:44.610 --> 00:35:52.179
So me, Robert, Greg and myself all go to my
849
00:35:52.199 --> 00:35:56.079
broom closet and I'm fixing their tea. And I'm telling you,
850
00:35:56.159 --> 00:35:59.829
it's really a tiny little area. I'm fixing their tea
851
00:35:59.909 --> 00:36:03.849
and I hand everyone some tea. And then and then
852
00:36:03.929 --> 00:36:08.019
he says, you know what? do you mind if we
853
00:36:08.039 --> 00:36:10.400
just hang out in here and all have tea together?
854
00:36:10.420 --> 00:36:12.570
He was like, I'm kind of not really in the
855
00:36:12.610 --> 00:36:14.429
mood to be at the party.
856
00:36:14.869 --> 00:36:18.789
I love, I respect that so much. And I was like, sure.
857
00:36:18.889 --> 00:36:20.809
And so I thought we'd probably sit there for a
858
00:36:20.869 --> 00:36:23.650
half hour and drink our tea. We were in the
859
00:36:24.170 --> 00:36:27.949
broom closet the entire night.
860
00:36:28.070 --> 00:36:28.760
Oh my God, that's funny.
861
00:36:28.780 --> 00:36:32.440
Me, Robert, Susan, Greg, drinking tea in the broom closet
862
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:34.960
and then wrapped up and I left.
863
00:36:35.480 --> 00:36:36.139
Oh my God.
864
00:36:36.219 --> 00:36:38.119
I did not even interact at the park.
865
00:36:38.179 --> 00:36:39.380
You didn't get a one food truck.
866
00:36:39.559 --> 00:36:42.860
I didn't do anything. I just went home and then Dakota,
867
00:36:42.900 --> 00:36:44.659
but that was a moment where I was sitting there going,
868
00:36:45.139 --> 00:36:49.269
how on earth am I in a broom closet pouring
869
00:36:49.389 --> 00:36:53.389
tea and spending hours drinking? With my friend Greg and
870
00:36:53.449 --> 00:36:56.030
Robert and Susan Downey.
871
00:36:56.750 --> 00:36:58.269
Yeah, that's insane.
872
00:36:58.309 --> 00:37:00.809
And it was so fun. That's always the.
873
00:37:00.730 --> 00:37:02.869
Best moments at a party when you break off into
874
00:37:02.909 --> 00:37:04.929
a little group and like a little.
875
00:37:04.949 --> 00:37:05.610
Broom closet.
876
00:37:05.630 --> 00:37:06.550
Broom closet, yeah, yeah.
877
00:37:06.889 --> 00:37:09.139
How would you not have told us that story?
878
00:37:09.159 --> 00:37:10.420
That's a great story.
879
00:37:10.559 --> 00:37:14.320
I figured I'd share that over going back into, wow,
880
00:37:14.340 --> 00:37:17.300
it was so crazy to be at the Vatican with
881
00:37:18.219 --> 00:37:19.940
Conan O'Brien, my best friend.
882
00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:20.500
Yeah, yeah.
883
00:37:21.929 --> 00:37:23.250
That was really cool.
884
00:37:23.590 --> 00:37:26.690
Yeah, it was just a funny, weird moment that I
885
00:37:26.710 --> 00:37:27.389
really enjoyed.
886
00:37:27.409 --> 00:37:28.969
Oh, man.
887
00:37:28.989 --> 00:37:29.920
Do you have one, Fortune?
888
00:37:29.940 --> 00:37:33.059
I mean, I'm only thinking of celebrity stuff right now
889
00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:37.039
just because I feel like those are the most surreal
890
00:37:37.079 --> 00:37:39.059
moments you have living in Los Angeles.
891
00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:39.699
Yeah.
892
00:37:40.119 --> 00:37:42.860
It's like one of those places where literally at any
893
00:37:42.900 --> 00:37:46.000
given moment, you can turn a corner and be talking
894
00:37:46.039 --> 00:37:47.280
to your childhood hero.
895
00:37:47.539 --> 00:37:47.840
Yeah.
896
00:37:48.300 --> 00:37:48.679
You just.
897
00:37:49.679 --> 00:37:52.679
You never know who you're going to meet and where.
898
00:37:56.139 --> 00:37:58.219
I'm friends with her now, but when I first met
899
00:37:58.460 --> 00:38:03.170
Natalie Maines from The Chicks, she agreed to do this
900
00:38:03.210 --> 00:38:05.369
show with me for Comedy Central. We had never met.
901
00:38:05.389 --> 00:38:07.010
And now that I know her, I can't believe she
902
00:38:07.050 --> 00:38:12.250
said yes. And I had loved their band my whole life. Well, yeah.
903
00:38:12.980 --> 00:38:15.800
From the time I was 18 up and used to
904
00:38:15.900 --> 00:38:16.840
listen to their song.
905
00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:17.739
17, you couldn't stand them.
906
00:38:18.059 --> 00:38:19.099
That's right.
907
00:38:19.119 --> 00:38:20.219
I actively hated them.
908
00:38:20.280 --> 00:38:23.829
Listen to their song on repeat. So she and I
909
00:38:23.889 --> 00:38:26.269
sat in her trailer and chatted for a long time
910
00:38:26.829 --> 00:38:31.849
and we got drinks with her afterwards. And then we
911
00:38:31.889 --> 00:38:36.289
recently went out of town with her. Um, and her
912
00:38:36.309 --> 00:38:39.809
bandmates came and we had a, like this fun night
913
00:38:39.869 --> 00:38:44.860
where we were, um, singing karaoke and we started singing their,
914
00:38:45.059 --> 00:38:48.480
all these songs from their first album that they like
915
00:38:48.579 --> 00:38:51.800
don't sing anymore. Yeah. And like singing at the top
916
00:38:51.820 --> 00:38:54.789
of our lungs and having the best time and they
917
00:38:54.829 --> 00:38:57.670
were dancing and it was like the most surreal moment
918
00:38:57.769 --> 00:39:01.409
where I just like pictured myself back in college and like,
919
00:39:01.489 --> 00:39:05.349
could you have ever imagined, um, yeah like singing with
920
00:39:05.369 --> 00:39:07.710
them and I sang on stage with them too which
921
00:39:07.750 --> 00:39:12.260
was very surreal I sing uh in the Nashville Bridgestone
922
00:39:12.300 --> 00:39:15.019
Arena the they're good by Earl song but something about
923
00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:18.139
being in a den and they were and they sang
924
00:39:18.280 --> 00:39:20.159
oh it was at a house yeah it was at
925
00:39:20.199 --> 00:39:22.619
a house oh yeah yeah yeah that's magical a dinner
926
00:39:22.659 --> 00:39:25.929
party yeah yeah and uh sang they sang Not Ready
927
00:39:25.949 --> 00:39:27.250
to Make Nice which was.
928
00:39:27.389 --> 00:39:29.289
That's such a great song.
929
00:39:29.010 --> 00:39:31.920
Their huge song for their controversy like seeing them sing
930
00:39:31.980 --> 00:39:35.239
it in this room with me it's so crazy i.
931
00:39:35.219 --> 00:39:37.099
Thought you were saying that you were like at a
932
00:39:37.300 --> 00:39:41.030
karaoke club singing it with natalie and i was like
933
00:39:41.190 --> 00:39:45.570
wait a minute was everyone's head exploding yeah left and.
934
00:39:45.590 --> 00:39:48.010
Right we had a wedding party back in the day
935
00:39:48.050 --> 00:39:50.650
she came and sang at that and at my um
936
00:39:51.949 --> 00:39:54.429
She karaoke'd with me at my premiere. I had a
937
00:39:54.429 --> 00:39:58.809
little premiere gathering for my specials. So she was down
938
00:39:58.849 --> 00:39:59.650
for the karaoke.
939
00:40:00.010 --> 00:40:00.210
Love it.
940
00:40:00.210 --> 00:40:05.369
But this was just in the house with them. Scream
941
00:40:05.389 --> 00:40:06.670
singing at the top of our lungs.
942
00:40:06.690 --> 00:40:07.670
Does she live in LA?
943
00:40:08.010 --> 00:40:08.650
She does, yeah.
944
00:40:08.710 --> 00:40:13.179
Okay. House parties, yeah, it's intimate enough that everyone who's
945
00:40:13.239 --> 00:40:17.159
there feels vetted. So it means if you do meet
946
00:40:17.320 --> 00:40:20.199
one of your heroes, they're kind of predisposed to be like, oh,
947
00:40:20.300 --> 00:40:23.510
you're in... the gang, I can connect with you in
948
00:40:23.550 --> 00:40:26.070
this way. Like it's different to being at a, you know,
949
00:40:26.090 --> 00:40:27.610
an award show or something.
950
00:40:27.969 --> 00:40:31.280
At very different, you would think, but that's how I
951
00:40:31.320 --> 00:40:34.380
met Taylor Dane was at a very intimate party. And
952
00:40:35.340 --> 00:40:37.860
I thought I was safe. And I don't know if
953
00:40:37.880 --> 00:40:39.199
you're familiar with that story.
954
00:40:39.219 --> 00:40:40.340
Yeah, you were not safe.
955
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:44.340
Yeah, I was not safe. And that's where the excuse me,
956
00:40:44.380 --> 00:40:46.519
I'm sorry to bother you. I just have to tell you,
957
00:40:46.539 --> 00:40:49.420
I love your voice came from the fact that Taylor
958
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:52.099
and I had a mutual friend. that was having an
959
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:53.039
intimate dinner party.
960
00:40:53.360 --> 00:40:53.619
Right.
961
00:40:53.780 --> 00:40:59.059
Tig and I first met at an intimate, at Jamie Babbitt's, remember? Uh-huh. Yeah.
962
00:40:59.079 --> 00:41:00.039
A long, long time ago.
963
00:41:00.079 --> 00:41:02.199
Were they trying to connect, like hook us up?
964
00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:03.219
Why were we, it.
965
00:41:03.199 --> 00:41:07.480
Was just the two of us at Carrie and Jamie's house.
966
00:41:07.519 --> 00:41:08.559
When I look back, I'm like.
967
00:41:08.579 --> 00:41:10.500
I thought that for a second, but I'm like, there's
968
00:41:10.599 --> 00:41:14.639
no way. Oh my God. They might've just, Tig and I.
969
00:41:15.070 --> 00:41:15.269
Yeah.
970
00:41:15.289 --> 00:41:17.070
But I think that in their head, they were like,
971
00:41:17.710 --> 00:41:20.130
they're both very funny and should be friends. Yeah.
972
00:41:20.710 --> 00:41:24.750
Mine is, I'm going to veer off the celebrity thing.
973
00:41:24.989 --> 00:41:25.710
Why?
974
00:41:25.730 --> 00:41:27.380
Okay.
975
00:41:27.550 --> 00:41:29.059
I'm going to go. The first thing that came to
976
00:41:29.099 --> 00:41:34.960
mind was like the most surreal place or culturally different
977
00:41:34.980 --> 00:41:38.320
place I've been was like Nepal when I was 20
978
00:41:38.320 --> 00:41:40.119
and like up in the mountains and stuff. And there
979
00:41:40.139 --> 00:41:42.760
was this one night where it was a full moon.
980
00:41:43.099 --> 00:41:46.420
And so there were all these parties and Kathmandu. And
981
00:41:46.440 --> 00:41:48.639
I was just so like on my own. And I
982
00:41:48.800 --> 00:41:52.260
met this Italian guy who was maybe– five foot two.
983
00:41:52.500 --> 00:41:55.099
He was tiny. Anyway, we were in this bar and
984
00:41:55.119 --> 00:41:58.360
they were playing U2 and everyone from every different country
985
00:41:58.420 --> 00:42:01.739
imaginable knew every word. And we were all singing, you're one,
986
00:42:01.820 --> 00:42:03.349
but you're not the same.
987
00:42:03.369 --> 00:42:03.449
Yeah.
988
00:42:03.469 --> 00:42:07.630
Then I ended up hooking up with this guy in
989
00:42:07.750 --> 00:42:11.309
my hostel, this Italian guy. And he was telling me
990
00:42:11.329 --> 00:42:12.690
that he grew up in a cult and that he
991
00:42:12.710 --> 00:42:15.920
had seen a human being fly. He was like, I
992
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:17.380
don't know what to tell you. I've seen it with
993
00:42:17.420 --> 00:42:19.679
my eyes. human beings can fly with the power of
994
00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:21.800
your mind. I don't know. I've seen it. And I
995
00:42:21.820 --> 00:42:24.719
was like, whoa, cool, man. And then I.
996
00:42:24.719 --> 00:42:25.599
Got- And do you believe that?
997
00:42:26.679 --> 00:42:28.199
Yeah, I have no reason to doubt it, Tig.
998
00:42:29.059 --> 00:42:30.139
You have no reason?
999
00:42:30.860 --> 00:42:32.320
Like there's no reason to doubt that.
1000
00:42:32.340 --> 00:42:34.239
If he said it, it must be true. I mean,
1001
00:42:34.659 --> 00:42:37.019
I try to take people at their word, you know.
1002
00:42:37.039 --> 00:42:42.119
But I mean, he was probably out of his mind. Possibly.
1003
00:42:42.380 --> 00:42:45.309
He really was like so sincere when he said it.
1004
00:42:45.539 --> 00:42:45.699
Yeah.
1005
00:42:45.780 --> 00:42:48.530
And then I got sick. I was having stomach problems.
1006
00:42:48.570 --> 00:42:51.309
I wasn't even like drunk or anything, but I ended
1007
00:42:51.429 --> 00:42:54.389
up having to run to the bathroom and I had
1008
00:42:54.409 --> 00:42:58.750
like explosive diarrhea. And the bathroom was on the roof
1009
00:42:58.809 --> 00:43:01.010
of the hostel and the door was kind of open
1010
00:43:01.050 --> 00:43:03.590
and I'm squatting over this hole and I can see
1011
00:43:03.639 --> 00:43:06.440
the full moon above the thing. And then as I'm
1012
00:43:06.519 --> 00:43:11.269
squatting there, just like, oh, like, you this giant rat,
1013
00:43:11.489 --> 00:43:14.349
the size of a dog comes up to the door
1014
00:43:14.510 --> 00:43:16.429
of the, and I'm like, no, get away, like trying
1015
00:43:16.449 --> 00:43:18.630
to wave at it. And it was not scared of me.
1016
00:43:18.690 --> 00:43:20.489
And it just looks at me and hisses with its
1017
00:43:20.630 --> 00:43:26.050
yellow teeth. And I'm squatting, paralyzed, pooing and the full
1018
00:43:26.090 --> 00:43:28.360
moon there. And just knowing that then downstairs in my
1019
00:43:28.389 --> 00:43:31.079
room is this weird guy who thinks people can fly.
1020
00:43:31.159 --> 00:43:33.940
And I'm like, I was like, I had a real
1021
00:43:34.019 --> 00:43:36.900
out-of-body moment where I just started laughing. I was just like,
1022
00:43:37.139 --> 00:43:42.349
what is happening? The rat, the poo, the moon, the guy.
1023
00:43:42.369 --> 00:43:44.170
And then your moon was.
1024
00:43:44.090 --> 00:43:44.539
Hanging out too?
1025
00:43:44.550 --> 00:43:47.070
And then my moon was hanging out, yeah. Wow. I
1026
00:43:47.610 --> 00:43:49.510
ended up telling him, listen, you got to go.
1027
00:43:49.530 --> 00:43:53.880
Did you tell him about your digestive issues?
1028
00:43:54.019 --> 00:43:56.860
I said I'm not feeling well, and he probably thought
1029
00:43:56.880 --> 00:43:58.099
he could cure it or something, but.
1030
00:43:59.110 --> 00:44:01.670
You just need to fly. I mean, I feel like
1031
00:44:01.730 --> 00:44:05.090
if people could just put their minds to it and fly,
1032
00:44:05.110 --> 00:44:08.210
there would be a lot of cases of this happening.
1033
00:44:08.230 --> 00:44:09.090
I know.
1034
00:44:09.510 --> 00:44:11.699
But then I've been listening to the telepathy tapes and
1035
00:44:11.739 --> 00:44:15.739
it's really messing with my paradigm. So I feel like
1036
00:44:16.619 --> 00:44:20.099
we don't know. You hear about those guys meditating in
1037
00:44:20.139 --> 00:44:22.460
the snow in their underwear for.
1038
00:44:23.630 --> 00:44:24.630
I don't hear about them.
1039
00:44:24.750 --> 00:44:25.230
Tell me.
1040
00:44:25.510 --> 00:44:25.710
No.
1041
00:44:25.909 --> 00:44:26.670
We have different algorithms.
1042
00:44:26.690 --> 00:44:28.170
Have you a fortune? I have not.
1043
00:44:29.210 --> 00:44:32.300
If I hadn't heard about meditation in their underwear, I
1044
00:44:32.340 --> 00:44:35.840
was like, there is no world this news has reached fortune.
1045
00:44:35.860 --> 00:44:38.800
Well, I guess I feel like I've seen things about
1046
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:42.199
like yogis who sit in the snow and they're basically
1047
00:44:42.260 --> 00:44:46.019
naked and they meditate for years without eating. And they're
1048
00:44:46.679 --> 00:44:49.070
just using sunlight. Do you think this is true? Because
1049
00:44:49.210 --> 00:44:51.550
I actually can't think of where I've heard this, but
1050
00:44:51.610 --> 00:44:52.349
I just believe it.
1051
00:44:52.889 --> 00:44:56.699
Well, I've heard about people who claim to be oxygenarians.
1052
00:44:57.139 --> 00:44:57.570
Yeah.
1053
00:44:58.199 --> 00:44:59.880
Where they only live off of air.
1054
00:45:00.219 --> 00:45:01.519
And sunlight. Yeah.
1055
00:45:01.719 --> 00:45:04.000
Oh, I didn't think that was possible.
1056
00:45:04.460 --> 00:45:06.940
Wouldn't that be confirmed? Like there should be some tests
1057
00:45:07.019 --> 00:45:07.340
on this.
1058
00:45:08.139 --> 00:45:12.840
I feel like it would be the biggest Hollywood diet
1059
00:45:12.980 --> 00:45:14.940
hack in the world.
1060
00:45:15.139 --> 00:45:17.429
You're right. Someone would have monetized that.
1061
00:45:17.550 --> 00:45:20.510
Yes, this would be, this is the same with people
1062
00:45:20.570 --> 00:45:22.820
thinking they can fly and not only are you going
1063
00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:25.309
to see it, like, you know, what are those things
1064
00:45:26.090 --> 00:45:31.449
where drones, you'd see people flying. And then you'd for sure, if, if,
1065
00:45:31.650 --> 00:45:33.809
if somebody did it and they were like, I could
1066
00:45:33.849 --> 00:45:36.650
do it again, somebody's going to get a camera out. Like.
1067
00:45:36.670 --> 00:45:40.670
I have been seeing a lot of telekinesis on Instagram.
1068
00:45:41.130 --> 00:45:44.050
I've seen people, it's like a new thing, people practicing
1069
00:45:44.210 --> 00:45:47.750
moving paper with their minds and stuff, but it's, it's
1070
00:45:47.829 --> 00:45:50.250
just videos. It could be fake, but did you see
1071
00:45:50.289 --> 00:45:51.849
the news story about the pyramids recently?
1072
00:45:53.340 --> 00:45:53.570
No.
1073
00:45:53.829 --> 00:45:54.150
What?
1074
00:45:54.730 --> 00:45:55.969
Thomas, back me up.
1075
00:45:56.429 --> 00:45:56.710
No.
1076
00:45:56.730 --> 00:45:57.389
What's the news?
1077
00:45:57.489 --> 00:46:00.349
What's the news about the pyramids? Yeah, I only have
1078
00:46:00.389 --> 00:46:04.989
the old information about the pyramids. It's like BC.
1079
00:46:05.769 --> 00:46:09.369
Okay, this hasn't been confirmed on the major news sites yet,
1080
00:46:09.429 --> 00:46:14.900
but it's gathering traction. They did a radio analysis, like
1081
00:46:15.300 --> 00:46:18.159
an analysis deep beneath the pyramids, and they have found
1082
00:46:19.139 --> 00:46:24.409
giant cylinders that go... two kilometers deep beneath the pyramids
1083
00:46:24.550 --> 00:46:28.760
and have like winding coil. It like changes everything we
1084
00:46:28.800 --> 00:46:32.079
thought about how they were built. And it's like, they
1085
00:46:32.119 --> 00:46:36.460
think that these were energetic silos, like that the pyramids
1086
00:46:36.519 --> 00:46:41.530
were some kind of energetic battery or harnessing system. And
1087
00:46:41.550 --> 00:46:46.230
there's like these cylinders that are on top of blocks
1088
00:46:46.250 --> 00:46:49.349
and Are you Googling it, Thomas? No, no one cares. No,
1089
00:46:49.769 --> 00:46:52.989
I'm not.
1090
00:46:53.730 --> 00:46:57.889
I did hear about this. I didn't read further. But
1091
00:46:57.969 --> 00:47:02.179
that's what's so insane about the news is that Stephanie
1092
00:47:02.199 --> 00:47:03.699
and I were just talking about this the other day,
1093
00:47:03.780 --> 00:47:07.420
that the astronauts that finally got saved and brought back
1094
00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:11.369
to Earth, Everybody's response like, oh, right. Were they still gone?
1095
00:47:11.389 --> 00:47:12.610
They were still gone? Yeah.
1096
00:47:12.739 --> 00:47:15.519
And then the next day we're like, huh, well, they
1097
00:47:15.539 --> 00:47:16.119
seem fine.
1098
00:47:16.159 --> 00:47:19.820
Yeah. Everyone keeps commenting that her hair got gray. And
1099
00:47:19.860 --> 00:47:22.539
I'm like, well, yeah, the woman astronaut.
1100
00:47:22.559 --> 00:47:25.659
Everyone's commenting that her hair went gray. And it's like, yeah.
1101
00:47:25.679 --> 00:47:28.260
But it's like, that's what happens if you're gone for
1102
00:47:28.300 --> 00:47:30.719
nine months and you're not dyeing your hair like you, Tig.
1103
00:47:30.739 --> 00:47:35.510
How dare you? How dare you? This is all natural, okay?
1104
00:47:35.570 --> 00:47:39.460
These wrinkles, these yellow spots. Cracked teeth and gray hair.
1105
00:47:40.239 --> 00:47:40.739
All mine.
1106
00:47:41.099 --> 00:47:43.940
You're effortlessly handsome, though. That's true. You wake up, you
1107
00:47:44.079 --> 00:47:46.460
splash water on your face, you head out the door.
1108
00:47:46.480 --> 00:47:47.619
That's right.
1109
00:47:47.639 --> 00:47:48.360
La la voom.
1110
00:47:48.800 --> 00:47:55.889
Meanwhile, Fortune's got the... The de-puff. De-puffer. De-puffer. De-puffer.
1111
00:47:55.909 --> 00:47:59.670
Or it should just be called the de-puffer.
1112
00:47:59.809 --> 00:48:00.710
De-de-puffer.
1113
00:48:00.889 --> 00:48:02.650
De-de-puffer. De-de-puffer.
1114
00:48:02.690 --> 00:48:09.639
Now, Fortune... I'm just realizing you sing a very sultry song.
1115
00:48:10.260 --> 00:48:13.719
Do you feel insecure at all now that we know
1116
00:48:13.739 --> 00:48:15.900
Bon Iver is our question asker?
1117
00:48:16.440 --> 00:48:19.719
No, I feel like I'm amongst my peers. Hot people
1118
00:48:19.820 --> 00:48:20.519
that can sing.
1119
00:48:20.539 --> 00:48:22.199
Hot people that can sing.
1120
00:48:22.340 --> 00:48:24.679
Well, should we hear his response?
1121
00:48:24.719 --> 00:48:25.860
Yes, 100%.
1122
00:48:25.860 --> 00:48:27.739
Being from a small town in Wisconsin, I.
1123
00:48:29.300 --> 00:48:31.500
Did not expect my band to take off like it
1124
00:48:31.539 --> 00:48:34.940
did and to be traveling the world at the level
1125
00:48:34.960 --> 00:48:37.590
that we were But we were getting a lot of
1126
00:48:37.630 --> 00:48:41.530
looks from people that, you know, it was all very surprising,
1127
00:48:41.650 --> 00:48:46.829
but probably none more surprising than this story. In 2012,
1128
00:48:46.829 --> 00:48:51.860
we're running around touring and we got an email from
1129
00:48:52.739 --> 00:48:55.659
the people that represent the Coen brothers, the filmmakers who
1130
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:57.219
are originally from this area.
1131
00:48:58.159 --> 00:49:00.219
You know, I'm the biggest fan of their movies.
1132
00:49:01.730 --> 00:49:03.440
And to put it into perspective before I tell you
1133
00:49:03.460 --> 00:49:07.659
this story, I made movies growing up with my friends,
1134
00:49:08.480 --> 00:49:09.980
my sports friends and I made movies.
1135
00:49:10.099 --> 00:49:12.300
And I was never allowed to be on camera because
1136
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:12.750
I was so.
1137
00:49:12.650 --> 00:49:17.190
Bad at acting. I was always the director. Dot, dot, dot.
1138
00:49:17.789 --> 00:49:20.900
We get an email from the Coen brothers. curious if
1139
00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:25.280
I would read for one of their films. And I
1140
00:49:25.320 --> 00:49:28.519
immediately was like, there's no way in high hell that
1141
00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:32.650
I can do this. I definitely am not built for this.
1142
00:49:32.670 --> 00:49:35.989
I don't want to be any more famous than I
1143
00:49:36.030 --> 00:49:36.610
just got.
1144
00:49:36.630 --> 00:49:38.090
No.
1145
00:49:39.190 --> 00:49:39.289
No.
1146
00:49:40.210 --> 00:49:42.010
And I thought about it.
1147
00:49:42.230 --> 00:49:43.650
I couldn't stop thinking about it for a couple of
1148
00:49:43.670 --> 00:49:46.429
days because it was just such a high honor. And
1149
00:49:47.090 --> 00:49:49.429
I started getting really confusing thoughts, like maybe this is
1150
00:49:49.469 --> 00:49:51.289
something I was meant to do, or maybe I need
1151
00:49:51.349 --> 00:49:52.369
to grow into this.
1152
00:49:52.849 --> 00:49:54.320
It's the Coen brothers, you know?
1153
00:49:55.239 --> 00:49:57.139
So they sent a script and I like had it
1154
00:49:57.199 --> 00:49:59.590
on the road and I'm a very kind.
1155
00:49:59.389 --> 00:50:00.500
Of patchy reader.
1156
00:50:01.039 --> 00:50:04.579
And they wanted to have a meeting in New York.
1157
00:50:04.639 --> 00:50:06.840
So I read the script, but over the course of
1158
00:50:06.880 --> 00:50:09.369
a month, I read it once and go to the
1159
00:50:09.409 --> 00:50:12.110
Upper West Side into, I believe it was Joel Cohen's apartment.
1160
00:50:12.130 --> 00:50:13.750
And I was there with.
1161
00:50:13.690 --> 00:50:15.750
My brother, and they asked my brother to wait outside,
1162
00:50:15.769 --> 00:50:19.170
and I thought that was kind of weird. And I
1163
00:50:19.230 --> 00:50:23.760
walk in, and embarrassingly, now, I said, hey, I'm such
1164
00:50:23.800 --> 00:50:24.239
a huge fan.
1165
00:50:24.260 --> 00:50:26.480
It's so great to meet you all. I've been really
1166
00:50:26.519 --> 00:50:28.300
thinking about this. I had worked.
1167
00:50:28.159 --> 00:50:32.300
Myself into such a tizzy that I went in and said,
1168
00:50:32.760 --> 00:50:35.760
I'm totally willing to move my Australia tour to do
1169
00:50:35.800 --> 00:50:38.960
this park. and you know let's really make this happen
1170
00:50:39.000 --> 00:50:40.699
and i was trying to talk to him about minneapolis
1171
00:50:40.760 --> 00:50:41.719
and they were kind of like.
1172
00:50:41.599 --> 00:50:44.699
Just yeah man why don't we just sit down.
1173
00:50:44.480 --> 00:50:47.260
And and read for a little bit oh my god
1174
00:50:47.300 --> 00:50:49.539
moment it was the most dunk dunk dunk.
1175
00:50:49.929 --> 00:50:52.869
Moment in my life oh my god when.
1176
00:50:52.789 --> 00:50:55.989
I realized that i was in an audition and i
1177
00:50:56.050 --> 00:51:01.269
didn't know that oh my god i was completely paralyzed
1178
00:51:02.130 --> 00:51:05.260
being acted by oscar isaac it's a movie called uh.
1179
00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:07.940
Inside Llewyn Davis.
1180
00:51:08.619 --> 00:51:09.360
The lead part.
1181
00:51:09.380 --> 00:51:10.119
So I'm sitting there.
1182
00:51:10.159 --> 00:51:11.280
I'm a terrible actor.
1183
00:51:11.300 --> 00:51:13.619
I've read this thing exactly once. They're like, let's go
1184
00:51:13.659 --> 00:51:15.699
to page four. And I'm so bad.
1185
00:51:15.739 --> 00:51:18.079
I'm sitting kind of curled up on the couch staring
1186
00:51:18.119 --> 00:51:19.119
at the paper like this.
1187
00:51:19.199 --> 00:51:20.679
Oh, my God.
1188
00:51:20.780 --> 00:51:22.039
They're kind of laughing.
1189
00:51:22.559 --> 00:51:25.019
And I knew in that moment that it was okay
1190
00:51:25.059 --> 00:51:26.719
that they were laughing at me because I was so bad.
1191
00:51:26.760 --> 00:51:30.010
But anyways, it was one of those learning experiences where
1192
00:51:30.630 --> 00:51:34.030
if something doesn't feel right to you and you're not
1193
00:51:34.090 --> 00:51:35.130
meant to do it, maybe.
1194
00:51:35.969 --> 00:51:36.670
Just let it pass.
1195
00:51:37.090 --> 00:51:38.070
Trust your gut.
1196
00:51:38.590 --> 00:51:40.719
That's insane. Good takeaway.
1197
00:51:41.039 --> 00:51:44.260
But it's also, he does have that vibe where it
1198
00:51:44.320 --> 00:51:47.059
feels like he could pull kind of anything off.
1199
00:51:48.119 --> 00:51:50.179
I felt like I could watch him just, yeah, read
1200
00:51:50.219 --> 00:51:50.699
a phone book.
1201
00:51:50.760 --> 00:51:51.219
Yeah.
1202
00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:51.820
Yeah.
1203
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:54.199
He sucked me in just even with that story. So
1204
00:51:54.219 --> 00:51:55.769
I'm not giving up on Justin.
1205
00:51:56.050 --> 00:51:56.429
Yeah.
1206
00:51:56.690 --> 00:52:00.230
On his acting career. That is really funny, though, that
1207
00:52:00.269 --> 00:52:01.349
it was the lead part.
1208
00:52:01.690 --> 00:52:04.090
He said, I'll change my tour.
1209
00:52:04.150 --> 00:52:07.449
I'll change my tour. Oh, God.
1210
00:52:07.630 --> 00:52:10.489
The other night, I saw this ex of mine who
1211
00:52:10.570 --> 00:52:14.300
is a writer. And she was... This is one of
1212
00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:18.639
my favorite stories. In the very beginning of her career...
1213
00:52:18.280 --> 00:52:24.659
And she has pitch anxiety really bad. But she's successful now.
1214
00:52:24.960 --> 00:52:29.260
Very successful. But in the early days, when she went...
1215
00:52:30.110 --> 00:52:36.840
to pitch this movie oh my god she um she's
1216
00:52:37.360 --> 00:52:39.920
pitching she has she said she has like 4 000
1217
00:52:39.920 --> 00:52:42.880
pages not really but just a huge stack of pages
1218
00:52:42.920 --> 00:52:45.070
that she has to get through with her pitch and
1219
00:52:45.130 --> 00:52:48.849
she starts just feeling like the room's closing in on
1220
00:52:48.909 --> 00:52:50.889
her you know in the conference room with all the
1221
00:52:50.929 --> 00:52:55.469
people staring at her and my heart yeah and she's
1222
00:52:55.570 --> 00:52:59.219
like having an out-of-body experience like Oh, my God. And
1223
00:52:59.679 --> 00:53:02.409
she said her tongue starts swelling and she's sweating. And
1224
00:53:02.449 --> 00:53:04.250
she's like, oh, my God, are these my teeth? Are
1225
00:53:04.489 --> 00:53:09.750
these my hands? It's just like, who am I? And
1226
00:53:09.789 --> 00:53:13.989
then she said after she started sweating, she asked everyone
1227
00:53:14.010 --> 00:53:16.610
in the room, she's like, is it hot in here?
1228
00:53:16.630 --> 00:53:19.449
Are you guys hot? And everybody was sitting there going, no.
1229
00:53:19.929 --> 00:53:23.150
And she's like, oh, I'm really hot. And she gets
1230
00:53:23.250 --> 00:53:28.340
up from the table. She walks over to the thermostat.
1231
00:53:29.010 --> 00:53:32.070
And she said she's standing there looking at the thermostat.
1232
00:53:32.570 --> 00:53:36.909
And she's thinking, what am I doing? And she's trying
1233
00:53:36.949 --> 00:53:40.210
to adjust the air. And she said she stood there
1234
00:53:40.250 --> 00:53:42.929
for like, I don't know, a minute, just staring at
1235
00:53:42.989 --> 00:53:46.369
the thermostat going, oh, my God, I can't do this.
1236
00:53:46.789 --> 00:53:49.690
And then she said the door was to her left.
1237
00:53:49.849 --> 00:53:51.809
And she just walked out the door.
1238
00:53:51.829 --> 00:53:59.059
Oh, my God. That's the best. Oh, my God. yeah
1239
00:53:59.139 --> 00:54:02.079
i really understand that because once you get to the
1240
00:54:02.099 --> 00:54:04.119
you've made the decision to get up and adjust the
1241
00:54:04.159 --> 00:54:07.099
temperature in the room of someone else's office you know
1242
00:54:07.139 --> 00:54:10.840
you can't go sit back down.
1243
00:54:09.820 --> 00:54:11.519
Being the executives going what.
1244
00:54:11.360 --> 00:54:14.780
Just happened what just happened i'd.
1245
00:54:14.659 --> 00:54:17.619
Be intrigued and impressed though by someone that just walked
1246
00:54:17.739 --> 00:54:21.829
out like i'd kind of rather that than someone who stays.
1247
00:54:21.510 --> 00:54:26.690
And I would die laughing if I was the executive
1248
00:54:27.369 --> 00:54:29.789
and the person just walks out the door.
1249
00:54:29.809 --> 00:54:33.449
That's really good. I still think that the only reason
1250
00:54:33.489 --> 00:54:36.079
I got feel good commission was that because I was
1251
00:54:36.380 --> 00:54:40.659
bombing in every pitch and in the Netflix pitch, the
1252
00:54:40.719 --> 00:54:43.559
main guy at one point leaned back in his chair
1253
00:54:43.619 --> 00:54:45.619
and then went, whoa, whoa, whoa, like that in his chair.
1254
00:54:45.639 --> 00:54:50.510
He almost fell over and something in me like, my
1255
00:54:50.650 --> 00:54:53.159
inner Tig almost came out and I wouldn't, I wouldn't
1256
00:54:53.199 --> 00:54:55.719
drop it. And I kept like coming back to it
1257
00:54:55.760 --> 00:54:58.260
throughout the pitch and it gave me this confidence. Like,
1258
00:54:58.280 --> 00:55:01.860
and I think the fact that I was really obsessed
1259
00:55:01.880 --> 00:55:04.800
with that moment, I think, I think that got me through.
1260
00:55:04.820 --> 00:55:05.780
That made you a star.
1261
00:55:06.300 --> 00:55:09.429
Well, it just like humanized him in a way that
1262
00:55:09.469 --> 00:55:10.510
I was like, okay.
1263
00:55:10.630 --> 00:55:11.349
We're just people.
1264
00:55:11.530 --> 00:55:12.349
We're all fumbling.
1265
00:55:12.369 --> 00:55:13.670
We're fumbling through.
1266
00:55:14.130 --> 00:55:18.710
Well, that is so, so funny. And what a great question.
1267
00:55:18.750 --> 00:55:19.050
Yeah.
1268
00:55:19.210 --> 00:55:19.949
Great question.
1269
00:55:19.969 --> 00:55:20.610
And answer.
1270
00:55:20.869 --> 00:55:24.119
Well, thank you, Justin. We are all massive fans.
1271
00:55:24.179 --> 00:55:27.860
Massive, massive fans. I saw him live at a festival
1272
00:55:27.900 --> 00:55:31.139
really quick. And you could have heard it was outdoors.
1273
00:55:31.239 --> 00:55:32.820
And you could have heard like a pin drop of
1274
00:55:32.900 --> 00:55:37.400
everyone just watching this huge crowd. And I was crying.
1275
00:55:37.440 --> 00:55:38.860
Everyone's crying, deeply moved.
1276
00:55:38.960 --> 00:55:41.639
Unrelated. And yeah, unrelated. Yeah, yeah.
1277
00:55:41.679 --> 00:55:42.409
Just attachment.
1278
00:55:42.429 --> 00:55:42.820
Unhinged.
1279
00:55:43.260 --> 00:55:46.199
And then I turned to my right and my friend Joe,
1280
00:55:46.239 --> 00:55:49.079
who I thought was equally moved because he was just
1281
00:55:49.139 --> 00:55:51.679
really sort of meditative. I realized that he's so drunk
1282
00:55:51.719 --> 00:55:55.280
that he's fallen asleep standing up. He was holding a
1283
00:55:55.320 --> 00:55:59.320
balloon like this and he was just.
1284
00:55:59.340 --> 00:56:00.900
That's for you, Justin. Sorry.
1285
00:56:00.920 --> 00:56:04.119
That was just because he was drunk.
1286
00:56:04.360 --> 00:56:07.820
I saw him in an outdoor venue as well. And
1287
00:56:07.860 --> 00:56:09.500
I was sober. No balloons.
1288
00:56:09.780 --> 00:56:10.099
Yeah.
1289
00:56:10.260 --> 00:56:10.500
Yeah.
1290
00:56:10.699 --> 00:56:14.280
Very like almost a. church like experience.
1291
00:56:14.679 --> 00:56:16.519
Absolutely. Absolutely.
1292
00:56:16.659 --> 00:56:16.739
Yeah.
1293
00:56:17.039 --> 00:56:19.860
That sexy voice like this.
1294
00:56:20.059 --> 00:56:22.119
Not as sexy as fortune.
1295
00:56:22.139 --> 00:56:27.030
This sexy voice. And next time, maybe one of us
1296
00:56:27.070 --> 00:56:29.130
will have some whiskey and air our grievances.
1297
00:56:29.150 --> 00:56:31.849
I still have a little nip.
1298
00:56:33.369 --> 00:56:34.570
Fortune behaved herself.
1299
00:56:34.690 --> 00:56:36.199
My voice is getting worse though.
1300
00:56:37.239 --> 00:56:40.619
Well, we'll wrap this up. Um, So listen, our live
1301
00:56:40.800 --> 00:56:45.690
streaming show is this Saturday, April 12th. Get your tickets
1302
00:56:45.809 --> 00:56:51.489
now at our social media pages or DynastyTypewriter.com. And also,
1303
00:56:51.510 --> 00:56:55.110
if you enjoyed this episode or any other one, share
1304
00:56:55.170 --> 00:56:59.179
this episode with your friends, family. Let's continue to build
1305
00:56:59.679 --> 00:57:01.210
the handsome....
1306
00:57:02.269 --> 00:57:03.489
You can say it. Community.
1307
00:57:03.650 --> 00:57:04.190
Community.
1308
00:57:04.309 --> 00:57:06.190
All right, there you go. I couldn't say it because
1309
00:57:06.210 --> 00:57:11.250
I couldn't remember the word. But also rate and review us, please,
1310
00:57:11.570 --> 00:57:15.809
and subscribe to the podcast and subscribe to YouTube so
1311
00:57:15.829 --> 00:57:21.650
you can see Fortune's sultry face and gams. And then
1312
00:57:21.829 --> 00:57:24.489
also May's tinfoil hat.
1313
00:57:24.570 --> 00:57:27.960
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And let us know what question askers
1314
00:57:27.980 --> 00:57:31.320
you'd like to hear from. Yeah, I'm curious who people
1315
00:57:31.340 --> 00:57:32.059
would want to hear from.
1316
00:57:32.380 --> 00:57:34.960
And also, if you've gone to any of these hotels
1317
00:57:35.019 --> 00:57:38.900
with May's top secret messages, reach out because we got
1318
00:57:38.940 --> 00:57:41.179
a free keychain for you. Just waiting.
1319
00:57:41.659 --> 00:57:44.920
I will say I forgot to hide one in the
1320
00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:49.739
London hotel. So don't go there and look forever. But
1321
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:52.659
the one at the Silver Lake Pool House is still there. Yeah,
1322
00:57:52.679 --> 00:57:58.559
don't even go there, girl. Yeah. What do you got
1323
00:57:59.179 --> 00:57:59.539
coming up?
1324
00:57:59.739 --> 00:58:03.579
Well, I have local shows at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter.
1325
00:58:04.079 --> 00:58:09.960
I'll also be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, June 14th. And
1326
00:58:10.039 --> 00:58:13.010
get all my show information and everything else you need
1327
00:58:13.030 --> 00:58:17.730
to know about me at tignotaro.com. Also, my friends Liz
1328
00:58:17.769 --> 00:58:22.230
Feldman and Jesse Klein have a new incredible podcast called
1329
00:58:22.730 --> 00:58:28.369
Here to Make Friends, produced by Mr. Thomas. And, yeah,
1330
00:58:28.389 --> 00:58:31.110
check that out. I cry on that episode.
1331
00:58:31.130 --> 00:58:32.250
For real?
1332
00:58:32.489 --> 00:58:32.730
Yes.
1333
00:58:34.130 --> 00:58:34.730
I'm going to listen.
1334
00:58:34.889 --> 00:58:38.219
I was not expecting that, but I did have a boo-hoo,
1335
00:58:38.380 --> 00:58:41.150
and I felt a little vulnerable, so... There you go,
1336
00:58:41.230 --> 00:58:45.730
Liz and Jesse. You're welcome for the numbers bump there
1337
00:58:45.750 --> 00:58:48.570
because everyone's going to be running over to see me cry.
1338
00:58:48.829 --> 00:58:53.719
I'm just April 25th at Largo. And also check out maymartinmusic.com
1339
00:58:53.760 --> 00:58:58.280
because I'm adding some tour dates soon. And there's cool merch.
1340
00:58:58.460 --> 00:59:02.980
And also, I'm really grateful to everybody who's streaming the album.
1341
00:59:02.980 --> 00:59:04.690
And yeah, keep doing that.
1342
00:59:04.690 --> 00:59:05.030
Yeah.
1343
00:59:05.030 --> 00:59:08.539
Um my tour just started um so i am.
1344
00:59:08.559 --> 00:59:10.940
So far so good i i will.
1345
00:59:10.820 --> 00:59:14.280
Have a voice don't worry um it's even if you
1346
00:59:14.340 --> 00:59:17.260
don't you have your gams that's right yeah uh i'm
1347
00:59:17.280 --> 00:59:23.929
coming to albuquerque rockford illinois cleveland columbus greensboro rona baltimore
1348
00:59:23.989 --> 00:59:27.050
pittsburgh grand rapids minneapolis kansas.
1349
00:59:26.730 --> 00:59:29.239
City and we just added A ton of new dates
1350
00:59:29.260 --> 00:59:32.360
for the fall that go on sale. Well, that are
1351
00:59:32.440 --> 00:59:34.519
on sale now. So check those out.
1352
00:59:34.780 --> 00:59:35.659
What a podcast.
1353
00:59:35.679 --> 00:59:42.269
Yeah, what a podcast. Until next time, keep it handsome.
1354
00:59:43.329 --> 00:59:46.230
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and
1355
00:59:46.269 --> 00:59:49.250
Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by
1356
00:59:49.309 --> 00:59:53.840
Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. And please
1357
00:59:53.960 --> 00:59:56.460
follow us on social media at handsomepod.
1358
00:59:59.409 --> 01:00:00.309
What a podcast!
1359
01:00:00.349 --> 01:00:02.389
What a podcast! What a podcast!
1360
01:00:05.670 --> 01:00:07.030
That was a hate gum podcast.
1361
01:00:08.219 --> 01:00:11.820
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.
1362
01:00:12.199 --> 01:00:16.420
Not checking whether it's called a wheelbarrow or a wheelbarrow.
1363
01:00:16.780 --> 01:00:19.739
We here at the Handsome Podcast need to do better.
1364
01:00:20.380 --> 01:00:22.860
We heard loud and clear from our listeners that it's
1365
01:00:22.960 --> 01:00:27.630
actually a wheelbarrow, and we're using this opportunity to apologize
1366
01:00:27.670 --> 01:00:30.369
to all of you for the embarrassing misunderstanding.
1367
01:00:30.769 --> 01:00:34.349
Yeah, check-in first is handsome, so check Allstate first for
1368
01:00:34.369 --> 01:00:36.469
an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in
1369
01:00:36.510 --> 01:00:40.059
good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions,
1370
01:00:40.119 --> 01:00:44.559
and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company & Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.