Grieving Awake - Soul-Centered Aliveness After Loss And Identity Shifts

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Hello, beautiful lights and souls.
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I officially have finished my book, Grieving Awake.
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I'm still working on the subtitle, and it is about how grief, spiritual awakening, any kind of major loss that dismantles your identity when walked through consciously can lead to spiritual awakening.
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And I call this process for spiritual awakening soul-centered aliveness.
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Because on the other side of it, it's about embodying it.
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It's not about ascending and getting off the planet and getting somewhere else.
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It's about going in, in the body, in this life, consciously living in your skin as a soul wrapped in skin.
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And when you walk through these processes that I've laid out in the book, which Weston gave me, that's what it leads to.
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And I've put, of course, research in the book, a lot of research in the book that I've found, not only about what happens to the brain in grief, but also what happens to the nervous system.
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And I use the word grief, by the way, not just for bereavement when someone has died, but grief is the emotional process that you go through when you lose someone or something that was meaningful and foundational to your life, to your reality.
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And this also applies to people who are stepping into or being like a lot of women I know right now are calling me because they are just uncomfortable with what was who they were before.
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And they're watching their world transform around them in ways that are making them uncomfortable.
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Relationships they used to enjoy, they're not enjoying anymore.
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Things they used to enjoy, they're not enjoying anymore.
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And it's like, what is wrong with me?
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What's happening to me?
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And what's happening is transformation.
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And when you walk through it consciously and consciously actively participate moment by moment, as often as you can remember to, then what it leads to is a soul-centered aliveness where you are living your soul's qualities of aliveness.
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And of course, I come from the spiritual end of things, the spiritual aspect of things.
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And so I have these qualities of aliveness as being qualities that the divine source, creator, bestowed upon you via your soul in this incarnation.
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So your soul before it came here agreed on your mission.
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You chose your avatar, you chose your family, you chose the things that would happen to you, the big things that would happen to you.
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And what has been really remarkable to me about reading my journals, because I've gone through my journals and the writing of this book, is how much this process has transformed me.
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And not only that, but that my qualities of aliveness, the biggest thing that I've realized is that they've always been there.
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That's what really blew me away.
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These aren't qualities that you cultivate, these aren't qualities that you develop, these aren't qualities that you find, these aren't qualities that you pick and choose, that you decide you want to be this certain way.
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And there are a lot of ways, by the way, to measure qualities of aliveness through values, through strengths, through your human design, through the gene keys, through disc personality tests, through the color personality test, through bank code.
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There's lots and lots and lots of different the Enneagram, of course, all these different personality assessments that tell you who you are.
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But qualities of aliveness are different because these are qualities that come from the divine.
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And I really have it as being like the ultimate source, the ultimate light wanted to express itself.
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And so it created manifestations to experience itself.
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Because if that original light is, I view it as being a mirror, it's just a mirror looking out into reality, into this big expansive nature.
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And so here come all of the things, all of the beings that the creator created in all of the universes everywhere, not just here, not just planet Earth.
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And that we are aspects of that.
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And that our soul actually has soul qualities bestowed upon it.
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I think it's so interesting to listen to near-death experiences and even talking with Weston in his transition, that you take with you not so much your personality, but your soul qualities of aliveness, like joy, kindness, generosity, presence.
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So many beautiful qualities of aliveness.
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And so as I've been doing this work for my book, I realized they're already there.
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I already have them.
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But when the physical avatar was hijacked by wounded family members, by the wounded tribe, and adopted in itself, like I'm the one who agreed that the realest part of me, my soul's aliveness is what's wrong with me, because that's the part of me that is so tender and sensitive and doesn't like to be made fun of and doesn't like to be hurt.
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No one likes to be hurt for being the realest part of themselves.
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And so that's why everybody wears masks, ego masks, and ego identities.
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And when something happens that that ego falls apart, that's when the brain is going into a process of rewiring your identity.
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And walking through that process consciously is so necessary.
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Plant medicine ceremonies, everybody's doing them now.
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And they are so great for self-realization, self-recognition.
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But the problem is there's no integration period while you're being rewired.
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And this is what people don't understand.
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They don't do the research beforehand.
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What is this going to do to my brain?
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What is this going to do to my nervous system?
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And that's always the first question I'm asking is what's happening inside of me?
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What's happening in my physical uh suit, my my avatar?
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And so when we were wounded, that original wound, I call it the ow.
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When the ow happened, then we built our life from there, but we were still expressing our soul qualities of aliveness, except now we're doing it through the wound.
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And I had this experience myself when I of uh back last year when I went to go to Soul Speaks from the stage, and I share this story in my book that I sat in front of this woman knee to knee, and we were eye gazing.
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And the instructions were that you were supposed to uh say something about yourself, but instead she started saying what she sees in me, and I felt myself inside want to run away.
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I felt panic well up inside of me.
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I felt angry, like all these things went through.
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And instead of reacting to them, I became very curious.
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I was like, what is this about?
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What is happening inside of me?
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All she's doing is telling me what she sees in me, and I'm having this visceral reaction, like I just want to punch her.
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And I sat in it and I realized she was seeing me without my permission.
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This is what I thought.
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People are always seeing us without our permission.
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But in this case, she was really seeing me without my permission.
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And I thought, well, why does she need my permission to see me?
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And that's when I realized I use my gift of seeing people.
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I have this, I have the ability to clearly see people and feel and hear their frequency.
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And instead of using that gift, like I do now, in service of the light, in service of the love, I used that gift to become a masterful mimic.
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I would just morph and copy whoever was in front of me as a way of hiding in plain sight.
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And that's what I'm talking about projecting our gifts, our soul-centered qualities of aliveness, through the wounds of the self, through the wounds of the ego.
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It's the same exact gift, but it's being distorted versus coming through me with pure love that I can just reflect right back to that person, their light.
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So over the weekend, as I was finalizing my book, I was sitting with the last chapter and just thinking, how do I end this?
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How do I end this?
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And the ending finally dropped in when I had this realization, oh my God, it's always right here, right now, in the enfoldment of the moment that you're in, that your qualities of aliveness are rising, and that you are never not in your qualities of aliveness, number one.
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Number two, in this process that Weston taught me is is trust, is uh truth, finding your truth that lights you up.
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And in our faith, when we move into the faith, which is holding in your mind what you will to create, which is holding in your mind, in your imagination, what that truth feels like inside of your body, what that truth could look like in your life, and then knowing that you can manifest that.
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And I realized through this process that, oh my gosh, you're never not in your light, you're never not exercising faith, if you're not in your active imagination and visualizing and loving your truth, then you're moving into fear.
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And so you're putting your faith in fear.
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The same thing is true with trust, you're never not trusting something.
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If you're in doubt, you are trusting doubt and limitation over possibility.
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And these are the first three movements that we as human beings operate with conscience consciously in our life, all the time, moment by moment by moment.
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Those three acts are playing out and they never stop playing out.
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We're just not aware that they are.
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And so that's what this book is about walking through this process consciously with each one of the principles, with journaling pages and art journaling pages and practices, somatic practices and sound practices, so that you actually embody this change by letting your nervous system know that it's safe.
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We all have to consciously participate in our own becoming.
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And if we don't include our nervous system, if we don't include landing it in the body, deeply in the body, deeply embodied in who you are, then chances are it won't stick.
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And you could even be forcing it the whole time.
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You know, that feeling of I'm gonna stop hiding and I'm gonna start showing up.
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But it isn't coming from a place of natural flow where you're just being who you are, which is effortless.
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It's coming from a place where you're forcing it, you're consciously, consciously all the time forcing it, which is exhausting.
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And when you begin to get lazy, because it gets tiring, holding yourself up like that, then that's when those old habits, those old stories come creeping back in.
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One of my favorite quotes is from William James, the grandfather of modern psychology, and he said, most of humans' problems are from listening to themselves instead of talking to themselves.
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And most of us do listen to ourselves.
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We hear that voice in our head, and we think it's the gospel truth, and we react to it before we even know what we're doing.
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Or the body, that energy, it goes from that, the feeling, the felt state of a craving where you can feel it.
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It could start as a thought, and then it will move into the feeling of it, and then it will move into the felt state in your body as a physical urge to act, which is the exact same process.
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What lights you up has been hijacked.
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You're putting your faith in your fear, and you're putting your trust in doubt.
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And that is because all three of those actions align with all three of your inner centers.
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The truth that lights you up is in your heart, and the faith, the imagining process, the conscious choice of loyalty and commitment is in the mind.
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And the nervous system is trust.
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What are we acting from?
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And if the avatar has taken over the game, to use Weston's metaphor, we are completely unconscious living our lives, or we just know something's wrong and we don't know what, and so we just keep going back to what soothes us or numbs us or distracts us, and we'll get to it next week, we'll get to it next week, we'll get to it next week.
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And before you know it, a whole lifetime has gone by.
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It is so humbling to have gone through what I've gone through, the way I've gone through it with this connection to my son from the other side and what he gave me.
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I cry every day about this beautiful gift I've received and the pain, the price of it, and to sit in that feeling of it, right?
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And so for you, so many of us are going through these major identity shifts right now, and the world is more and more every single day headed toward the collective dark night of the soul, and you can get ahead of that by doing this work of consciously rebirthing yourself, of consciously participating in your own becoming.
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I keep seeing this vision and it keeps repeating.
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So I'm gonna share it.
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And the analogy that's coming to my mind that's dropping in is imagine if the butterfly, in its process of metamorphosis while it's inside the cocoon, could actively participate in choosing its wings.
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How big will they be?
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What color will they be?
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What's it actually wired for?
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What's the fullest, most magnificent expression of it?
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Because that is what we all have the ability to do.
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And that we are wired for magnificence.
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We are wired for the fullest expression of ourselves in this lifetime.
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There's nothing holding us back but our own fear and our own doubt, living and stored inside of our nervous system, inside of our heart, and inside of our mind.
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And we're believing it to be true, and it's not.
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The truth is that you are an unlimited being.
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Unlimited being.
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And as you follow these principles and you you consciously walk actively the steps of truth, for truth, faith, trust, and then you step into the beautiful realm of surrender.
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Where now it's no longer I don't actually do the alchemy of the transformation inside of me.
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It just seems like one day, it seems like I'm practicing and practicing and practicing and practicing and practicing, telling myself no, telling myself no, telling myself yes, telling myself to make myself do things that I don't want to do consciously yet, until one day it becomes a part of me.
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But I didn't make that process happen.
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It was through the repeated action that something clicks, something wires it in, something wires it in.
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And we are as a species going through a massive spiritual transformation right now.
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And I find it really fascinating that the spiritual transformation is right in lockstep with a technological revolution.
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Is that a coincidence?
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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And I see arguments for AI either way.
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I personally love AI because it's great at things I'm not.
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I do not outsource my creativity to AI.
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I don't outsource my writing to AI.
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I just don't think it's a coincidence that this revolution in technology is right in lockstep with a spiritual awakening, a spiritual revolution, a consciousness revolution.
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I see it happening.
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I feel it happening.
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It is happening.
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And walking through this book, this process that I've been given from the other side, helps you consciously participate in who you become through your rebirthing process, through the dark night of the soul, through the grief that's going to arise as you do the shadow work.
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And so the book that I wrote, Grieving Awake, is not just for death.
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My launch date for the book is going to be in July.
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I'm so excited, beyond excited, beyond honored.
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I hold it such with such high regard and reverence.
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I truly do.
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And so what I've done on my website is created a qualities of aliveness signature.
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So you can go in and join my email list, and it will take you right over to just, and all you have to do is enter your birth date.
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And it's based off of ancient uh Chaldean and Essene numerology.
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It's so amazing, it's so accurate, and it doesn't tell you what to do in the world, it tells you who you're meant to be in the world through your qualities of aliveness.
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I invite you to go and find out what is your soul-centered signature at my website, joyasesnowski.com.
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And as usual, I'm going to end you with a beautiful practice that is so simple.
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So simple.
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It's in my book.
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It's one of my favorite practices I've done for many years to help you ground and feel calm when everything feels like it's going haywire.
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And so wherever you are right now, sit upright, sit straight, and put your feet flat on the ground, and one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly.
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And just give yourself a moment.
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Let yourself arrive in your skin to arrive in this moment with nowhere else to be, nothing else to do.
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Just breathe for a second.
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Again, you can go and discover your aliveness signature, your soul centered aliveness signature, at my website, joyusasnowski.com.
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And I will see you next week, beloved.
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Until then, have a beautiful and blessed week.
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Bye.