WEBVTT
00:00:04.559 --> 00:00:07.519
Get ready before life happens.
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:23.760
The podcast helping you navigate life's what is financial planning becomes more effective when it reflects how women actually live and make decisions.
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:26.239
Welcome to Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:29.440
Today I'm pleased to be joined again by Carrie Carbonaro.
00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:32.399
Carrie, welcome back to Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:33.840
Thank you, Tony.
00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.840
So great to be here with you.
00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:37.280
Yeah, I'm so excited.
00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:41.759
We're having a great talk pre-show, and so I'm just excited to keep it rolling on the show.
00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:44.320
So, you know, tell us a little bit about yourself.
00:00:44.399 --> 00:00:52.399
You know, how did you know your background lead you to focus specifically on how financial planning can better serve women?
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:53.439
Sure.
00:00:53.679 --> 00:00:57.600
So I guess we'll start way back in the beginning, right?
00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:04.959
So I always knew I was going to be in, I guess, financial planning, right?
00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:11.120
Because I was taught and trained at an early age about money by my dad.
00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:20.959
And so it was normal for me to grow up in a household where my dad was a banker and also teaching me financial literacy at a young age.
00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:36.079
You know, so I remember, you know, sitting in the in the living room and doing pronto banking, which was the first online banking ever in history in the 1980s by Chemical Bank, way ahead of its time.
00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:43.359
And I was like, oh my God, I can do banking on my sitting on my sitting in my on my living in my living room on the TV screen.
00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:46.000
And I thought that was the greatest thing in the world.
00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:48.239
Um, and so like things like that.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:53.439
And so me and my dad, you know, in bonded over money instead of bonding over sports.
00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:59.519
So, you know, he took me to Straight Talk with the Dolans, who that was like a financial literacy couple.
00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:02.400
We went to foreclosure auctions together.
00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:06.159
And I just thought it was super normal that everybody knew about money.
00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:10.159
And then when I got to college, I realized that wasn't the case.
00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:28.319
And I was, you know, teaching my friends how to balance their budgets and find beer money and things like that, and you know, uh talking about like college loans and you know, paying off debt and uh tell all my friends who took out student loans, I actually didn't.
00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:32.800
Um, but so to me, it was just normal, like this was normal conversation to me.
00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:34.879
This was normal, like household conversation.
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:43.840
And so when I graduated college and then worked, my first job was working at JP Morgan Chase at a bank and working with clients.
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:52.159
I was like, this is amazing because I get to teach teach people about money and talk about money and tell people what to do with their money, and this is the greatest thing in the world.
00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:59.199
So for me, it was just so natural to do to do to do this and to teach people about this.
00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:15.439
And now why I wanted to focus on women was because in my life and my whole life, I look back on um the one thing and the and the one thread of my life, and it has always been to help women.
00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:28.960
So when I was in college, I did, I started and founded a sorority at I was founding president of my sorority at college because I wanted to create a safe space for women away from home.
00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:32.719
And that was an amazing experience of my life.
00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:48.240
Um then when I went, you know, even when I was in, even when I was in high school, like go back to high school, I was, you know, doing things with, you know, teaching dance and and teaching cheerleading and just all related to helping women, right?
00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:58.560
So then fast forward to I'm working in a branch for uh JP Morgan Chase, and I'm working women are lined up to meet me.
00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:17.439
They would wait hours because they wanted to wait and only meet with me, because I was so good with women, and I was so interested in what they had to say, and I was so interested in helping them with whatever their financial issue was at the time that and I would use and I would have a line.
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:20.639
So anyway, I just knew that it was just always gonna be my thing.
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:25.920
So then when I had started my own practice, I always knew I'm gonna work with women.
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:29.920
Now, I never said I'm not working with men, I never said that.
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:37.360
I never specifically said I'm just for women, I just attract women, and so that's what's happened over my career.
00:04:37.519 --> 00:05:02.079
So, you know, now my practice is um probably 78% women, and then the rest are couples, and the couples are, you know, with either the woman is the major breadwinner or the husband hired me for his wife for when something happens to him.
00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:03.680
So that's what's happened.
00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:05.600
So it's a big long answer.
00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:08.399
Well, that there's so much to unpack there.
00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:22.480
Um, the atypical uh father-daughter activity of going to foreclosure auctions, um, but I I think something you said is so important, is that you listen to what the women said.
00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:39.600
And I just want to emphasize that because I think that is so essential that, but yet it's missed by so many people that when you're helping people, listening is one of the best skills you can bring to the table.
00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:45.360
Well, and also I always say, you know, um, that, you know, I'm a people person, right?
00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:50.480
And and the reason that I'm a people person, I I I love people.
00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:56.480
So I am interested in what they have to say because I want to get to know them as a person.
00:05:56.639 --> 00:06:06.319
So I do that before I do anything else, before I talk about money, before I talk about my expertise, before we talk about anything, I want to get to know them as a person first.
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:18.800
So the whole getting to know them and establishing rapport and all of that, all of that comes before any financial discussion or any financial solution or any solving any problems.
00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:28.000
Yeah, I'm just making a note, and I think that's so relevant now because we we were, you know, everybody's having the conversations about AI.
00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:32.399
Is AI going to replace financial planners and this and that?
00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:40.959
And and I think that's something that AI can't do is establish that same rapport and the same listening.
00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:58.399
So I just wrote an article about uh on for financial advisor magazine, or sorry, financial planning magazine, um, that said AI can give you financial answers, but it can't give you financial confidence.
00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:01.120
I like that.
00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:05.920
And I can give my clients financial confidence.
00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:08.399
It's a very big difference.
00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:11.360
I am not worried at all by being replaced by AI.
00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:19.120
I think it's going to make my life easier because I'm going to get to use it to do things faster.
00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:24.560
Um, but I I'm not worried at all about losing my clients at all.
00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:27.279
Well, that that's great to hear.
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:46.879
And I think, you know, for the financial planners out there, financial coaches, you know, whatever role you have in helping people, and even if you're not in financial services, all of us work with other people is that that's the important thing to understand is you know, to separate out that, you know, are you establishing rapport?
00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:48.000
Are you helping people?
00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:52.720
Because when you're helping people with financial confidence, that means that you're helping them.
00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:55.120
It doesn't mean you're telling them what to do.
00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:57.600
You're not so secure.
00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:04.399
No, you're educating them, you're empowering them, and you're uh all of the above.
00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:09.040
Educating, empowering, and um enlightening, really.
00:08:10.959 --> 00:08:22.879
Yeah, and I think those are all great human skills, you know, as we as we continue to have these conversations, is to think about that no matter what we're doing, that these are great skills.
00:08:23.040 --> 00:08:40.879
Um, and I want to go back to one other thing that you said that I think is really important about your clients, is that there are a lot of men who are interested in making sure that their wives, you know, had a working knowledge of their money and access to a resource like you.
00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:52.720
And I think that's something that we don't think a lot about is, you know, a lot of couples, you know, I handle the money for the most part in our family because I'm in financial services, so you know, it's it's easier.
00:08:52.960 --> 00:08:58.960
But I think, you know, we forget that sometimes is that we need to make sure that the woman is ready to go if something happens.
00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:22.480
Well, it's funny because I I love when uh when a man comes to me and says, I'm hiring you for eventually when I pass and my wife has longevity and I don't, or you know, I know either I'm older or whatever the reason, but it it's happened a couple of times already where the the husband has already passed.
00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:26.000
And it it we're exactly ready to go.
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:29.200
The the woman doesn't miss a step because we're already ready.
00:09:29.360 --> 00:09:35.600
Everything's already done, and everything's just status quo, other than I'm there at the funeral helping her get through it.
00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:37.120
Yeah.
00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:50.960
So I think that reinforces that women need to learn about their money today, and that you know, in couples, you have that responsibility, I think, to your spouse to make sure that they are ready to go.
00:09:51.039 --> 00:10:00.320
Because as you point out, longevity is just one key piece of it because women are gonna live what seven to eight years longer on average than men.
00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:04.159
Um you know, there's rising gray divorce.
00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:07.200
Um, and a lot of women are solo aging.
00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:10.720
Um, so this is important stuff.
00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:24.399
Well, and I I believe that a woman should be no, a woman should have complete ownership in her own financial future, regardless of if she's married or single or divorced or widowed or whatever.
00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:32.480
Like there's no time but but today for a woman to have, you know, ownership in her own financial future.
00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:42.000
So if she wants to divide and conquer, because I I've heard that story a lot, a lot of, you know, well, no, I give it to the spouse because I'm too busy and I've got everything else on my plate.
00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:44.080
So he takes care of that for me.
00:10:44.399 --> 00:10:56.559
But just because he takes care of it doesn't mean that you take a back seat and you don't know and you're not aware and you're not part of the meetings and you're you don't know what you have or you're delegating everything to him.
00:10:56.720 --> 00:10:58.639
Like I want you to be part of it.
00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:01.279
It's your money too, it's your financial future.
00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:10.080
And if he he is not there or she is not there, you some but the other person has to know, and you have to have a game plan.
00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:22.559
Yeah, and I think this is something that all financial planners should hear is that you need to meet with both spouses and you need to encourage them to have family financial meetings.
00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:33.840
So if you're listening to this and you don't have a financial planner or whatever, is it you know, you're meeting with your loved ones to have family financial meetings.
00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:34.639
Yep.
00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:50.000
And and what I also tell, you know, when I when I teach advisors about working with women, I also say, let's say it's a couple, um, and let's say, you know, maybe maybe the woman comes and is not interested, but she's there.
00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:52.399
Have a separate meeting with her.
00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:59.200
Don't and and offer it and offer it at a different time, at a different place on her schedule.
00:11:59.519 --> 00:12:02.879
Um and talk about something that's important to her.
00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:12.159
Bring her into the conversation if you know, it talk about the children, talk about philanthropy, talk about something that's interesting to her to get her to have this conversation.
00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:15.679
Because you need to, you need to engage with her no matter what.
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:20.080
Would find something that that that sparks her her interest.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:23.360
I I like that, that sparks her interest.
00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:35.759
And I'm glad you brought up uh philanthropy because that is something I just became an impact philanthropic advisor, and that was something, you know, that the women tend to be much more philanthropic than men.
00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:38.879
And that's expected to be a huge change.
00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:49.600
We are, and it's interesting because um, you know, all the studies show that women are just more philanthropic than men, like hands down, you know, all the studies, all of that.
00:12:49.840 --> 00:13:11.519
So there's always going to be something that a woman is interested in on the giving side or volunteering side or something having to do with that, whatever that cause is that's near and dear to her heart, work with that, figure out what's important, and then figure out how you can help solve a need for her.
00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:14.320
Yeah, I'm just making a note.
00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:14.879
I love that.
00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:16.960
Find out what's important to her.
00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:22.879
You know, that's great advice for any relationship, you know, a client relationship, but anything.
00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:26.559
Find out what's important to somebody else, you know, not what's important to you.
00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:28.399
Um wonderful advice.
00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:29.759
We could just close right there.
00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:32.080
You know, that's a mic drop moment, I think.
00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:42.159
So, you know, Carrie, is one of the things is, you know, we've talked about that traditional financial advice often falls short for women.
00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:45.600
What is what are some of the biggest ways that happens?
00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:47.440
What have you seen?
00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:51.279
Oh, gosh, I wrote a whole book on it.
00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:52.080
There you go.
00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:57.360
Well, I don't know if we have that kind of time, but it's it's it's a big thick one.
00:13:57.519 --> 00:14:03.840
Um, but so where it falls short um is is a lot of different, a lot of different spots, right?
00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:16.480
Um, so you know, the industry was created by men for men, and women have have been an afterthought, unfortunately, as clients in financial services and wealth management.
00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:22.399
You know, women have only been looked at in two categories, which is divorced and widowed, and that's it.
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:28.799
And women are an entire life spectrum of more than just divorced and widowed, right?
00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:33.919
Um, and also we have, you know, different needs and a different path.
00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:35.840
And ours is not a straight line up.
00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:37.679
We, you know, we go like this.
00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:53.679
We have, you know, caregiving responsibilities and we're out of the workforce, you know, taking care of uh having children, taking care of children, taking care of parents, you know, and that that alone, that um it's called the the caregiving penalty.
00:14:53.840 --> 00:14:57.039
That costs women over a million dollars over their lifetime.
00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:59.200
So, you know, you've got you've got that issue.
00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:02.399
You've got the fact that, you know, women make less.
00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:06.799
So therefore, women save less, and then women invest less.
00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:19.919
And then you've got the confidence gap, and then you've got the women retire with two-thirds less than men, and then we've got longevity, so we live longer, and we spend more money in retirement on healthcare.
00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:24.559
So, you know, women have a lot of strikes against them, and it's not a straight line path for us.
00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:28.879
So we need more help, not less help, and yet we get less help.
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:43.279
So, you know, women are a little bit more challenging to plan for because we have all these additional things thrown in the mix, you know, and even fine traditional financial planning software does not account for women's lives.
00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:46.799
It accounts for straight line, men's straight line up.
00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:51.919
Um, and so it's it's complicated and we're and we're more complex.
00:15:52.080 --> 00:16:00.240
And, you know, women in general have um not great experiences with financial service firms.
00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:10.000
You know, they're they're not um addressed, their needs are not addressed, you know, in general, they're and I'm just this is a total generalization.
00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:24.559
Um, you know, men talk about um sports analogies which don't resonate with women, and you know, beating the S P 500, which doesn't necessarily resonate with women.
00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:27.840
You know, women just want to know am I gonna be okay?
00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:29.840
Am I gonna outlive my money?
00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:31.840
Am I gonna be a bad lady?
00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:34.559
Like these are the things that keep women up at night.
00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:42.960
And, you know, we have we have some more fears, you know, a little bit more fears and and emotional stuff tied to money than men do.
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:51.120
So it makes it a little bit more challenging as a financial advisor because you've got to uncover all the emotional stuff that's tied to the money.
00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:57.360
So it's not just make a decision and here's here's your facts, make a decision, move on.
00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:06.240
It's it's it's definitely takes more time and it's and I believe because we're worth it, women are women are worth it.
00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:09.440
Women are great clients, they're fantastic clients.
00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:12.640
Um but do they take longer to close?
00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:13.759
Sometimes.
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:16.640
Do they do they have more questions?
00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:18.000
Sometimes.
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:23.279
Um, you know, do they do they sometimes analysis paralysis?
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:24.640
Yeah, sometimes.
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:27.279
So, you know, you have to, it's more work.
00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:33.839
It's definitely more work than closing uh a typical male client, but again, it's worth it.
00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:36.000
So anyway, big long answer.
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.799
And I and I I didn't even scratch the surface.
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:43.920
Yeah, but I I think there's so much in there that you said that's so powerful.
00:17:44.240 --> 00:18:08.079
And I think you know, the other side of that is that if a woman takes longer to become a client, that she's also going to be more loyal as a client, that she's not going to leave 100% because there's one down year on the portfolio where, yeah, I know when I was working as a you know as an analyst that uh so much of men were like, okay, is this the best product?
00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:12.799
Is you know this and that, and it's like, well, that's not really the important thing.
00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:15.359
It's like, are you meeting your goal?
00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:19.920
You know, that's that's what important what what are you actually trying to do here?
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:23.039
Um well, so can I tell you something about loyalty?
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:27.839
So um, so this is my my story is quite extreme.
00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:37.599
I I don't know if you remember it, but my um I moved all of my clients four times in five years.
00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:56.319
I I think I'm the only financial planner on the planet that that did that, but so all of my clients moved with me all that all four times in five years with a hundred percent um retention rate.
00:18:56.559 --> 00:19:03.920
So I don't think anybody on the planet can say that, and I can tell you it's because of because of the loyalty from my clients.
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:08.799
So I don't know if anybody else can want to do that kind of paperwork.
00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:11.680
No, believe me, this was not a choice.
00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:12.960
It was not a choice.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:14.799
I mean, it's a long story.
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:19.039
I write about it in chapter one of my book, but if you want to know all the details.
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:24.160
Yeah, and so your book, just for everybody watching and listening, is called The Money Queen's Guide.
00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:24.640
Nope.
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:26.640
Uh oh, oh isn't it?
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:27.519
Oh, I'm sorry.
00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:28.160
Nope, sorry.
00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:28.960
That's my first book.
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:29.839
This is my second book.
00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:34.720
This my second book is Women in Wealth, a playbook to empower clients and unlock their fortune.
00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:36.160
Sorry, that's my old book.
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:36.960
That was my book.
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:38.799
Okay, okay.
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:45.200
So anyway, my sec my second book is about um how to work with women uh effectively.
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:52.400
It's for I wrote it for financial advisors, but it's also for women who want to learn about working with a financial advisor.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:54.559
So it's got a dual purpose.
00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:56.240
Well, that's fantastic.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:03.759
And and I want to walk back to something that you said because it was striking, and it's something I hadn't really thought about before.
00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:10.160
And it's a traditional financial planning software does not account for a woman's financial path.
00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:22.079
And that resonated because I worked for a while for a financial wellness app, and that was something that I was trying to convince them is like, let's design the app for a woman instead of a man.
00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:28.640
And you know, there were three male founders, and it was just like they were not gonna do it.
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:39.039
And it's just I I think that is a really, really important thing to emphasize is that we need to think differently about the architecture.
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:48.640
So, Adam Holt, if you're listening with asset math, maybe calling you out, Adam, because you do great things, is you know, but I think that's important.
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:51.599
So, you know, Carrie, could you go a little deeper on that?
00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:52.720
Sure.
00:20:52.960 --> 00:21:05.680
Well, so you you gotta remember, you know, I know math is math, but a w a normal career path looks like this, right?
00:21:05.759 --> 00:21:08.160
And and goes up like this over time, right?
00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:09.839
So that's your normal career path.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:16.640
Sometimes you got some stops along the way, but a woman's life could be very drastically different.
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:25.200
It could look like this and stop and be out of the workforce and then go back in and then go back out and then go back in and then go back out.
00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:32.559
So it is definitely just not built for this nice little straight line glide path.
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:35.519
So it's just more challenging.
00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:48.400
So we have to do more work as financial planners and we have to do more educating to figure out how to make it work for a woman because we have those additional challenges.
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:51.279
Yeah, I I love that.
00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:59.680
So, you know, when a financial planner is trying to, you know, you know, change the way they work with women, how can they help women feel more confident?
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:02.000
And engaged.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:06.559
So I think education education is number one.
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:19.440
So I I mean education is your as your as a financial planner educating my clients is step one.
00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:24.240
Like if I'm not educating them, then I'm not doing my job.
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:29.839
Um so so that's that's that's the basics.
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:32.319
Like the the basics is is educating them.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:45.279
Um empowering them is is step two, which is them getting them to the point where they can make the decisions on their own, um with your input, but that they can make the decisions on their own.
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.759
And I think that that's really where you want to where you want to get them to be.
00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:57.680
Um and I always say um I go through with my clients, I go through what I call a resilience bonding.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:01.359
And so, you know, I will get a client who comes to me.
00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:06.240
Usually, I always say my clients come to me when the sun is not shining.
00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:14.880
So I get clients coming to me when there's a death, when there's a disability, when there's a divorce, when there's a job loss.
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:18.000
Always something horrible is happening in their lives.
00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:21.039
And that's when they're hiring me or coming to me.
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:29.279
And so I never get somebody coming when the sun is shining and everything's great, and it's just never like that.
00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:35.119
Now, I know that men hire hire financial planners when the sun is shining, but women seem to not.
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:43.599
I would love it to get to the point where women are hiring financial planners when the sun is shining, but usually the the reality is it's when it's not.
00:23:43.839 --> 00:24:01.039
So I have to get them from this point of you know, the world crashing around them because of what's happening in their lives with the these terrible things, to get to the point where they're now now whole and put back together and the sun is shining and they're on the other side.
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:03.119
So we go from here to here.
00:24:03.279 --> 00:24:06.559
And so I get them from point A to point B.
00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:09.759
And then I call that resilience bonding.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.160
So they will never forget that I got it took them from A to B.
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:19.680
And they will never um and they they credit me for helping them get get them there.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:23.119
And that's why they're loyal and they'll be with me forever.
00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:31.759
Yeah, and I I think that's something we've all experienced when when somebody helps you out and in time of need, you remember that.
00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:32.240
Yeah.
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:34.960
That's yeah, that's where you make a difference.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:46.079
And I think as a planner, advisor, agent, you know, whatever role you have, is that's when you really need to be there for your clients or your community, is when they need you.
00:24:46.319 --> 00:24:55.279
It's easy to be there when things aren't bad, but when things are on fire, that that's when you really need to be there for somebody.
00:24:56.160 --> 00:24:56.799
Yeah.
00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:07.599
So, you know, as as we start to close out, what are three things people should know about earning the long-term trust of women?
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:12.160
So uh first of all, women are worth it.
00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:28.240
Uh we again, what one of the things we talked about earlier is that, you know, women take longer, they have a longer sales cycle, um, but completely the most incredible clients and the most loyal clients.
00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:29.839
So that's one thing.
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:39.119
Second thing is that women are um risk aware rather than risk averse.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:51.279
And so women have a lot of questions related to um, you know, maybe their portfolio or not understanding everything um for whatever reason.
00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:54.400
And so they'll ask more questions than a man will.
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:56.160
A man will just nod and say yes.
00:25:56.319 --> 00:26:00.240
But a woman will ask a lot of questions because they really want to know the answers to that.
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:06.480
And that's not them questioning you, it's it's them being smart for themselves.
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:09.920
So don't take that as an as a negative, take that as a positive.
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:12.079
So the more questions, the better.
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:24.079
Um, and then a third thing that you should know about working with women is that women are um feel lost more than men.
00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:38.319
And this is my experience because all the things that we were just talking about, women make less, we you know, save less, have less, um, retire with two-thirds less, all that stuff.
00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:45.680
Women feel lost more than men do because of all these things and how hard it was to get it in the first place, right?
00:26:46.000 --> 00:27:07.039
So just be um conscious and and and teach them on, you know, the the the principles of you know, not selling when the market is down and you know, really being a behavioral finance advocate for them so that they know the positives and negatives of everything that they're doing and why.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:10.640
I I that's so important, you know.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:12.480
I mean, everything that you went through there.
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:14.319
I'm just making notes.
00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:16.960
Um, one thing you said, the more questions, the better.
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:18.480
Is that something I always felt?
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:24.079
Is that if somebody's not asking questions, and that means they're probably not following along.
00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:25.759
Is well, right.
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:39.119
Or either they're not following along or they're just completely tuning out, which means they're definitely not interested and they're not they're not moving forward, or you're not even you're not even addressing what what it is.
00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:44.799
Like they're they're so lost that they don't even understand what you're saying, that they can't even ask you a question.
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:51.519
So you're either talking over their head or you're talking in jargon, or you're you know not speaking the same language as them.
00:27:52.079 --> 00:27:53.680
Yeah, you're you're doing something wrong.
00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:56.240
You're doing something.
00:27:56.480 --> 00:27:59.440
I always I always would say, I would I I say that all the time.
00:27:59.599 --> 00:28:04.960
Like I did a panel for at the Milken Institute on the feminization of wealth.
00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:14.720
And one of the things was I said, if a client is not understanding me, um, or not I'm doing then I take it on myself.
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:16.000
I'm doing something wrong.
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:23.200
I if I'm not I'm not understanding their objections, I'm not understanding like if I'll put that on myself.
00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:24.559
I did something wrong.
00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:26.880
So it's not the client, it's me.
00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:29.599
I I would I would blame myself for that.
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:31.440
Definitely, definitely.
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:33.920
And um, yeah, I I agree completely.
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:39.599
If somebody's not asking questions, that's something on you, um, not on them.
00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:44.720
I I think the other thing too is that you said to be a behavioral financial advocate.
00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:50.559
And I think that's really important is to remember that you're an advocate for your client, um, as well.
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:57.119
And as you said, is to be there to guide them, not to tell them what to do.
00:28:57.359 --> 00:28:59.519
And I think there's a fine line there.
00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:00.319
Exactly.
00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:08.400
Well, I I I don't know if you you know my slogan for my um newsletter on LinkedIn is compel, don't sell.
00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:12.559
And it's compel her, don't sell her, or compel, don't sell.
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:19.920
And so the whole point of that is a woman does not want to be sold to or told what to do.
00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:34.960
A woman wants to be compelled in a positive way on this is why this is in your best interest, and they should be doing what you're recommending because it's the right thing for them and why.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:39.279
And if they if you can do that, then you're doing everything right.
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:41.200
That is awesome.
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:47.920
And for everybody watching and listening, that's that's why I reached out to you to do another episode, is you know, because of your newsletter.
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:59.519
And um, I I I'm gonna reference this uh article in the show notes, but it's what is the total wealth gap for women based on caregiving, longevity, and the pay gap?
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:09.200
And you know, we've been discussing that throughout the episode that it's you know, that all these things make it you know really that much harder for women.
00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:20.559
It's not just the pay gap, that it's exacerbated by time out of the workforce, it's exacerbated by you know, all these other things that, you know, sometimes women don't move out.
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:24.880
And and you know, women invest less than men.
00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:43.200
So, you know, you've got I I'll I had a woman come to me who had a 401k at her job, and this is before they had um QDIA's, which is the a meet where we used to have a qualified um default.
00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:51.440
So back in the day, we didn't have qualified defaults, meaning somebody's at least invested in something because they made a qualified default.
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:59.200
I had a woman who was invested in her 401k for 25 years and she was in cash the whole time.
00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:04.319
That just you hear those things.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:05.920
So painful.
00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:17.519
Oh, so before we start to wrap up, I I wanted to bring in one thing that you and I were talking about pre-show because I think this is something not only for financial planners, but for our family and friends.
00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:23.599
We were talking about a young lady you knew who purchased a life insurance policy.
00:31:23.839 --> 00:31:29.519
No need for a life insurance, had a what was it, a Roth IRA set up inside an annuity?
00:31:29.839 --> 00:31:34.079
And so, you know, this is something people have heard me talk about.
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:40.400
If you don't have a need for life insurance, you shouldn't be buying an insurance policy, and an insurance policy is not an investment.
00:31:40.480 --> 00:31:44.400
But Carrie, could you give us a couple tidbits on that?
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:45.519
Sure.
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:57.839
So uh well, it so this was a a a friend who I do yoga with who's like in her 20s, and I I did like a little a little talk, and and then I said, let me see your stuff, bring it, bring it to me, let me see it.
00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:02.319
And I saw it and I was literally gasping for what she was in.
00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:12.559
You know, she was 27 years old and she was in the her Roth was in a point-to-point annuity where she made$5,000 in five years.
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:17.519
And, you know, she would have made$25,000 if it was in a regular SP 500.
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:23.599
And then, and then her her other account was in, was, was in the life insurance policy, and she thought it was an investment.
00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:25.759
And I said, no, this is life insurance.
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:29.839
And so the whole thing was just awful, and she had some surrender penalties.
00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:40.880
But I was like, look, if I was you, I'd surrender these and just start over and put this Roth in a in an S P 500, an actual S P 500 Roth, you know, account.
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:49.440
And then let's put, and then you don't really need the life insurance because you're 27 and you have no independence and you don't need life insurance at this stage in your life, right, right at this moment in time.
00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:53.680
So it was just so interesting because she was like, I didn't know what I didn't know.
00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:59.920
I didn't know what to ask, I didn't, you know, and she was just like, just like crying almost to me.
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:03.359
And I was like, look, this is this is what I would do to fix this.
00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:05.119
If you're young enough, we can fix all of this.
00:33:05.279 --> 00:33:06.480
Like it's not the end of the world.
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:18.079
I mean, yes, she lost an additional, you know,$20,000 or whatever, which could be worth, I don't even want to know how much by the time she was 65, but it is what it is.
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:22.000
We're I'm fixing it for her, or I'm telling her how to fix it.
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:37.440
Yeah, and I have a very similar story, is you know, a friend of ours who's pretty much the same circumstances, and you know, and I had to tell her ago, your best alternative is take the loss on the insurance policy and walk away.
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:46.319
Because it's it was going to take her like 20 years to have the premium equal, you know, I mean, have the cash value equal the sum of premiums.
00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:52.559
And it's just like, oh my gosh, you know, but that's why we need financial literacy in schools.
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:56.480
And you know, so financial literacy.
00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:58.799
Anyway, so Carrie, let's wrap up.
00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:01.119
I have what's called the get ready hot take trio.
00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:06.559
And the first one is what's one myth about money that you're trying to break?
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:08.960
That I'm trying to break?
00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:18.079
Um Well, there is no get rich quick.
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:20.960
There's only get rich slow.
00:34:24.320 --> 00:34:27.119
I don't know if that's a myth, but that's what I say.
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:28.559
And it's true.
00:34:29.679 --> 00:34:42.480
I I I like that because I think so many people hear that as you know, all these things is like you can do this and you're gonna get ahead and you're gonna do that, and you know, this is a shortcut that nobody else knows.
00:34:43.039 --> 00:34:43.199
No.
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:45.519
There's there's no shortcuts.
00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:48.719
I think what is what Warren Buffett said, that there's no magic in the market.
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:50.559
Everybody can get rich.
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:53.360
It's but everybody can get rich slow.
00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:54.400
Exactly.
00:34:54.559 --> 00:34:56.880
So let's get at the time machine for a minute.
00:34:57.039 --> 00:35:03.039
If we could go back in time, knowing what you know now about money, what advice would you give your younger self?
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:07.199
So I've pretty much followed every single thing that I would have done.
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:12.880
I would not have changed one thing other than I would not have married my ex-husband.
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:16.000
Well, I don't know if that's good advice for people out there.
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:18.000
Don't marry your ex-husband.
00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:27.519
But that is great advice.
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:33.039
Um I don't know if that'll help people out there, but you know.
00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:40.000
Um so to close out, what's your number one tip to change the way we think about money?
00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:47.599
Um I would say do what the rich people do.
00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:52.159
And the rich people think in decades.
00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:59.199
So every decision that I make, I think, how will this affect me for the next decade?
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:03.360
And that is the way you should be thinking.
00:36:03.599 --> 00:36:12.559
Rather than how can I how is this like you know, they say that if you're poor, you think how what is this for the next day?
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:17.199
If you're middle class, you think, what is this for the next month or the next year?
00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:21.679
And if you're rich, you think how is this gonna affect me in decades?
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:24.320
That's wonderful advice.
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:25.440
Think long term.
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:32.480
So, Carrie, where can people learn more about you, your work, and pick up a copy of your latest book?
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:33.840
Yes, my most recent book.
00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:38.800
As well as a copy of your prior money's team's guide.
00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:39.599
Sure.
00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:41.599
So um, I am easy to find.
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:44.559
I am the only Carrie Carbonaro on the planet.
00:36:44.719 --> 00:36:47.760
So it's very easy because I'm the only person with my name.
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:49.119
So you can find me.
00:36:49.199 --> 00:36:52.480
Um, I have my website is carrycarbonaro.com.
00:36:52.719 --> 00:36:58.800
You can find me on LinkedIn at Carrie Carbonaro, you can find me on Facebook at Carrie Carbonaro, you can find me on Instagram at Carrie Carbonaro.
00:36:58.880 --> 00:36:59.760
I'm super easy to find.
00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:03.760
You can find me on X at Carrie Carbonaro.
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:10.880
Um, you can find my book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble, or anywhere that I guess books are.
00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:15.360
So you can Google it if you want to find an independent bookstore.
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:16.400
Fantastic.
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:21.840
Yeah, and for independent bookstores, I'll give a shout out to bookshop.org, which donates money.
00:37:21.920 --> 00:37:25.920
If you buy a book through their platform, they donate money to individual book.
00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:28.159
Independent bookstores get that.
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:29.440
Awesome.
00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:32.559
So yeah, so bookshop.org is a great alternative.
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:39.599
And for everybody watching and listening, if you have access to the show notes, you'll be able to find all those links that Carrie mentioned in the show notes.
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:43.920
So, Carrie, thanks for joining us again on Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:45.039
Wonderful.
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:46.880
So happy to be here.
00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:49.039
Yeah, appreciate your time and insights.
00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:54.159
And thank you, everyone, as always, for tuning in to this episode of Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:59.920
If you learned something today to change the way you think about money, please be sure to subscribe and to tell a friend.
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.719
You can also go to my website at Tony Stewart.com to start your financial readiness plan.
00:38:05.119 --> 00:38:23.119
Because when life happens, the way you think about money matters, you can't do that.
00:00:04.559 --> 00:00:07.519
Get ready before life happens.
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:23.760
The podcast helping you navigate life's what is financial planning becomes more effective when it reflects how women actually live and make decisions.
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:26.239
Welcome to Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:29.440
Today I'm pleased to be joined again by Carrie Carbonaro.
00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:32.399
Carrie, welcome back to Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:33.840
Thank you, Tony.
00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.840
So great to be here with you.
00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:37.280
Yeah, I'm so excited.
00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:41.759
We're having a great talk pre-show, and so I'm just excited to keep it rolling on the show.
00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:44.320
So, you know, tell us a little bit about yourself.
00:00:44.399 --> 00:00:52.399
You know, how did you know your background lead you to focus specifically on how financial planning can better serve women?
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:53.439
Sure.
00:00:53.679 --> 00:00:57.600
So I guess we'll start way back in the beginning, right?
00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:04.959
So I always knew I was going to be in, I guess, financial planning, right?
00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:11.120
Because I was taught and trained at an early age about money by my dad.
00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:20.959
And so it was normal for me to grow up in a household where my dad was a banker and also teaching me financial literacy at a young age.
00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:36.079
You know, so I remember, you know, sitting in the in the living room and doing pronto banking, which was the first online banking ever in history in the 1980s by Chemical Bank, way ahead of its time.
00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:43.359
And I was like, oh my God, I can do banking on my sitting on my sitting in my on my living in my living room on the TV screen.
00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:46.000
And I thought that was the greatest thing in the world.
00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:48.239
Um, and so like things like that.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:53.439
And so me and my dad, you know, in bonded over money instead of bonding over sports.
00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:59.519
So, you know, he took me to Straight Talk with the Dolans, who that was like a financial literacy couple.
00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:02.400
We went to foreclosure auctions together.
00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:06.159
And I just thought it was super normal that everybody knew about money.
00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:10.159
And then when I got to college, I realized that wasn't the case.
00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:28.319
And I was, you know, teaching my friends how to balance their budgets and find beer money and things like that, and you know, uh talking about like college loans and you know, paying off debt and uh tell all my friends who took out student loans, I actually didn't.
00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:32.800
Um, but so to me, it was just normal, like this was normal conversation to me.
00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:34.879
This was normal, like household conversation.
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:43.840
And so when I graduated college and then worked, my first job was working at JP Morgan Chase at a bank and working with clients.
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:52.159
I was like, this is amazing because I get to teach teach people about money and talk about money and tell people what to do with their money, and this is the greatest thing in the world.
00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:59.199
So for me, it was just so natural to do to do to do this and to teach people about this.
00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:15.439
And now why I wanted to focus on women was because in my life and my whole life, I look back on um the one thing and the and the one thread of my life, and it has always been to help women.
00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:28.960
So when I was in college, I did, I started and founded a sorority at I was founding president of my sorority at college because I wanted to create a safe space for women away from home.
00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:32.719
And that was an amazing experience of my life.
00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:48.240
Um then when I went, you know, even when I was in, even when I was in high school, like go back to high school, I was, you know, doing things with, you know, teaching dance and and teaching cheerleading and just all related to helping women, right?
00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:58.560
So then fast forward to I'm working in a branch for uh JP Morgan Chase, and I'm working women are lined up to meet me.
00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:17.439
They would wait hours because they wanted to wait and only meet with me, because I was so good with women, and I was so interested in what they had to say, and I was so interested in helping them with whatever their financial issue was at the time that and I would use and I would have a line.
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:20.639
So anyway, I just knew that it was just always gonna be my thing.
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:25.920
So then when I had started my own practice, I always knew I'm gonna work with women.
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:29.920
Now, I never said I'm not working with men, I never said that.
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:37.360
I never specifically said I'm just for women, I just attract women, and so that's what's happened over my career.
00:04:37.519 --> 00:05:02.079
So, you know, now my practice is um probably 78% women, and then the rest are couples, and the couples are, you know, with either the woman is the major breadwinner or the husband hired me for his wife for when something happens to him.
00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:03.680
So that's what's happened.
00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:05.600
So it's a big long answer.
00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:08.399
Well, that there's so much to unpack there.
00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:22.480
Um, the atypical uh father-daughter activity of going to foreclosure auctions, um, but I I think something you said is so important, is that you listen to what the women said.
00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:39.600
And I just want to emphasize that because I think that is so essential that, but yet it's missed by so many people that when you're helping people, listening is one of the best skills you can bring to the table.
00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:45.360
Well, and also I always say, you know, um, that, you know, I'm a people person, right?
00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:50.480
And and the reason that I'm a people person, I I I love people.
00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:56.480
So I am interested in what they have to say because I want to get to know them as a person.
00:05:56.639 --> 00:06:06.319
So I do that before I do anything else, before I talk about money, before I talk about my expertise, before we talk about anything, I want to get to know them as a person first.
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:18.800
So the whole getting to know them and establishing rapport and all of that, all of that comes before any financial discussion or any financial solution or any solving any problems.
00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:28.000
Yeah, I'm just making a note, and I think that's so relevant now because we we were, you know, everybody's having the conversations about AI.
00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:32.399
Is AI going to replace financial planners and this and that?
00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:40.959
And and I think that's something that AI can't do is establish that same rapport and the same listening.
00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:58.399
So I just wrote an article about uh on for financial advisor magazine, or sorry, financial planning magazine, um, that said AI can give you financial answers, but it can't give you financial confidence.
00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:01.120
I like that.
00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:05.920
And I can give my clients financial confidence.
00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:08.399
It's a very big difference.
00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:11.360
I am not worried at all by being replaced by AI.
00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:19.120
I think it's going to make my life easier because I'm going to get to use it to do things faster.
00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:24.560
Um, but I I'm not worried at all about losing my clients at all.
00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:27.279
Well, that that's great to hear.
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:46.879
And I think, you know, for the financial planners out there, financial coaches, you know, whatever role you have in helping people, and even if you're not in financial services, all of us work with other people is that that's the important thing to understand is you know, to separate out that, you know, are you establishing rapport?
00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:48.000
Are you helping people?
00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:52.720
Because when you're helping people with financial confidence, that means that you're helping them.
00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:55.120
It doesn't mean you're telling them what to do.
00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:57.600
You're not so secure.
00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:04.399
No, you're educating them, you're empowering them, and you're uh all of the above.
00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:09.040
Educating, empowering, and um enlightening, really.
00:08:10.959 --> 00:08:22.879
Yeah, and I think those are all great human skills, you know, as we as we continue to have these conversations, is to think about that no matter what we're doing, that these are great skills.
00:08:23.040 --> 00:08:40.879
Um, and I want to go back to one other thing that you said that I think is really important about your clients, is that there are a lot of men who are interested in making sure that their wives, you know, had a working knowledge of their money and access to a resource like you.
00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:52.720
And I think that's something that we don't think a lot about is, you know, a lot of couples, you know, I handle the money for the most part in our family because I'm in financial services, so you know, it's it's easier.
00:08:52.960 --> 00:08:58.960
But I think, you know, we forget that sometimes is that we need to make sure that the woman is ready to go if something happens.
00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:22.480
Well, it's funny because I I love when uh when a man comes to me and says, I'm hiring you for eventually when I pass and my wife has longevity and I don't, or you know, I know either I'm older or whatever the reason, but it it's happened a couple of times already where the the husband has already passed.
00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:26.000
And it it we're exactly ready to go.
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:29.200
The the woman doesn't miss a step because we're already ready.
00:09:29.360 --> 00:09:35.600
Everything's already done, and everything's just status quo, other than I'm there at the funeral helping her get through it.
00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:37.120
Yeah.
00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:50.960
So I think that reinforces that women need to learn about their money today, and that you know, in couples, you have that responsibility, I think, to your spouse to make sure that they are ready to go.
00:09:51.039 --> 00:10:00.320
Because as you point out, longevity is just one key piece of it because women are gonna live what seven to eight years longer on average than men.
00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:04.159
Um you know, there's rising gray divorce.
00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:07.200
Um, and a lot of women are solo aging.
00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:10.720
Um, so this is important stuff.
00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:24.399
Well, and I I believe that a woman should be no, a woman should have complete ownership in her own financial future, regardless of if she's married or single or divorced or widowed or whatever.
00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:32.480
Like there's no time but but today for a woman to have, you know, ownership in her own financial future.
00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:42.000
So if she wants to divide and conquer, because I I've heard that story a lot, a lot of, you know, well, no, I give it to the spouse because I'm too busy and I've got everything else on my plate.
00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:44.080
So he takes care of that for me.
00:10:44.399 --> 00:10:56.559
But just because he takes care of it doesn't mean that you take a back seat and you don't know and you're not aware and you're not part of the meetings and you're you don't know what you have or you're delegating everything to him.
00:10:56.720 --> 00:10:58.639
Like I want you to be part of it.
00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:01.279
It's your money too, it's your financial future.
00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:10.080
And if he he is not there or she is not there, you some but the other person has to know, and you have to have a game plan.
00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:22.559
Yeah, and I think this is something that all financial planners should hear is that you need to meet with both spouses and you need to encourage them to have family financial meetings.
00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:33.840
So if you're listening to this and you don't have a financial planner or whatever, is it you know, you're meeting with your loved ones to have family financial meetings.
00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:34.639
Yep.
00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:50.000
And and what I also tell, you know, when I when I teach advisors about working with women, I also say, let's say it's a couple, um, and let's say, you know, maybe maybe the woman comes and is not interested, but she's there.
00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:52.399
Have a separate meeting with her.
00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:59.200
Don't and and offer it and offer it at a different time, at a different place on her schedule.
00:11:59.519 --> 00:12:02.879
Um and talk about something that's important to her.
00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:12.159
Bring her into the conversation if you know, it talk about the children, talk about philanthropy, talk about something that's interesting to her to get her to have this conversation.
00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:15.679
Because you need to, you need to engage with her no matter what.
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:20.080
Would find something that that that sparks her her interest.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:23.360
I I like that, that sparks her interest.
00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:35.759
And I'm glad you brought up uh philanthropy because that is something I just became an impact philanthropic advisor, and that was something, you know, that the women tend to be much more philanthropic than men.
00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:38.879
And that's expected to be a huge change.
00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:49.600
We are, and it's interesting because um, you know, all the studies show that women are just more philanthropic than men, like hands down, you know, all the studies, all of that.
00:12:49.840 --> 00:13:11.519
So there's always going to be something that a woman is interested in on the giving side or volunteering side or something having to do with that, whatever that cause is that's near and dear to her heart, work with that, figure out what's important, and then figure out how you can help solve a need for her.
00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:14.320
Yeah, I'm just making a note.
00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:14.879
I love that.
00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:16.960
Find out what's important to her.
00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:22.879
You know, that's great advice for any relationship, you know, a client relationship, but anything.
00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:26.559
Find out what's important to somebody else, you know, not what's important to you.
00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:28.399
Um wonderful advice.
00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:29.759
We could just close right there.
00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:32.080
You know, that's a mic drop moment, I think.
00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:42.159
So, you know, Carrie, is one of the things is, you know, we've talked about that traditional financial advice often falls short for women.
00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:45.600
What is what are some of the biggest ways that happens?
00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:47.440
What have you seen?
00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:51.279
Oh, gosh, I wrote a whole book on it.
00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:52.080
There you go.
00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:57.360
Well, I don't know if we have that kind of time, but it's it's it's a big thick one.
00:13:57.519 --> 00:14:03.840
Um, but so where it falls short um is is a lot of different, a lot of different spots, right?
00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:16.480
Um, so you know, the industry was created by men for men, and women have have been an afterthought, unfortunately, as clients in financial services and wealth management.
00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:22.399
You know, women have only been looked at in two categories, which is divorced and widowed, and that's it.
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:28.799
And women are an entire life spectrum of more than just divorced and widowed, right?
00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:33.919
Um, and also we have, you know, different needs and a different path.
00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:35.840
And ours is not a straight line up.
00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:37.679
We, you know, we go like this.
00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:53.679
We have, you know, caregiving responsibilities and we're out of the workforce, you know, taking care of uh having children, taking care of children, taking care of parents, you know, and that that alone, that um it's called the the caregiving penalty.
00:14:53.840 --> 00:14:57.039
That costs women over a million dollars over their lifetime.
00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:59.200
So, you know, you've got you've got that issue.
00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:02.399
You've got the fact that, you know, women make less.
00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:06.799
So therefore, women save less, and then women invest less.
00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:19.919
And then you've got the confidence gap, and then you've got the women retire with two-thirds less than men, and then we've got longevity, so we live longer, and we spend more money in retirement on healthcare.
00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:24.559
So, you know, women have a lot of strikes against them, and it's not a straight line path for us.
00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:28.879
So we need more help, not less help, and yet we get less help.
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:43.279
So, you know, women are a little bit more challenging to plan for because we have all these additional things thrown in the mix, you know, and even fine traditional financial planning software does not account for women's lives.
00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:46.799
It accounts for straight line, men's straight line up.
00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:51.919
Um, and so it's it's complicated and we're and we're more complex.
00:15:52.080 --> 00:16:00.240
And, you know, women in general have um not great experiences with financial service firms.
00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:10.000
You know, they're they're not um addressed, their needs are not addressed, you know, in general, they're and I'm just this is a total generalization.
00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:24.559
Um, you know, men talk about um sports analogies which don't resonate with women, and you know, beating the S P 500, which doesn't necessarily resonate with women.
00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:27.840
You know, women just want to know am I gonna be okay?
00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:29.840
Am I gonna outlive my money?
00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:31.840
Am I gonna be a bad lady?
00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:34.559
Like these are the things that keep women up at night.
00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:42.960
And, you know, we have we have some more fears, you know, a little bit more fears and and emotional stuff tied to money than men do.
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:51.120
So it makes it a little bit more challenging as a financial advisor because you've got to uncover all the emotional stuff that's tied to the money.
00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:57.360
So it's not just make a decision and here's here's your facts, make a decision, move on.
00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:06.240
It's it's it's definitely takes more time and it's and I believe because we're worth it, women are women are worth it.
00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:09.440
Women are great clients, they're fantastic clients.
00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:12.640
Um but do they take longer to close?
00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:13.759
Sometimes.
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:16.640
Do they do they have more questions?
00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:18.000
Sometimes.
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:23.279
Um, you know, do they do they sometimes analysis paralysis?
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:24.640
Yeah, sometimes.
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:27.279
So, you know, you have to, it's more work.
00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:33.839
It's definitely more work than closing uh a typical male client, but again, it's worth it.
00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:36.000
So anyway, big long answer.
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.799
And I and I I didn't even scratch the surface.
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:43.920
Yeah, but I I think there's so much in there that you said that's so powerful.
00:17:44.240 --> 00:18:08.079
And I think you know, the other side of that is that if a woman takes longer to become a client, that she's also going to be more loyal as a client, that she's not going to leave 100% because there's one down year on the portfolio where, yeah, I know when I was working as a you know as an analyst that uh so much of men were like, okay, is this the best product?
00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:12.799
Is you know this and that, and it's like, well, that's not really the important thing.
00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:15.359
It's like, are you meeting your goal?
00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:19.920
You know, that's that's what important what what are you actually trying to do here?
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:23.039
Um well, so can I tell you something about loyalty?
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:27.839
So um, so this is my my story is quite extreme.
00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:37.599
I I don't know if you remember it, but my um I moved all of my clients four times in five years.
00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:56.319
I I think I'm the only financial planner on the planet that that did that, but so all of my clients moved with me all that all four times in five years with a hundred percent um retention rate.
00:18:56.559 --> 00:19:03.920
So I don't think anybody on the planet can say that, and I can tell you it's because of because of the loyalty from my clients.
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:08.799
So I don't know if anybody else can want to do that kind of paperwork.
00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:11.680
No, believe me, this was not a choice.
00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:12.960
It was not a choice.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:14.799
I mean, it's a long story.
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:19.039
I write about it in chapter one of my book, but if you want to know all the details.
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:24.160
Yeah, and so your book, just for everybody watching and listening, is called The Money Queen's Guide.
00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:24.640
Nope.
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:26.640
Uh oh, oh isn't it?
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:27.519
Oh, I'm sorry.
00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:28.160
Nope, sorry.
00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:28.960
That's my first book.
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:29.839
This is my second book.
00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:34.720
This my second book is Women in Wealth, a playbook to empower clients and unlock their fortune.
00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:36.160
Sorry, that's my old book.
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:36.960
That was my book.
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:38.799
Okay, okay.
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:45.200
So anyway, my sec my second book is about um how to work with women uh effectively.
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:52.400
It's for I wrote it for financial advisors, but it's also for women who want to learn about working with a financial advisor.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:54.559
So it's got a dual purpose.
00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:56.240
Well, that's fantastic.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:03.759
And and I want to walk back to something that you said because it was striking, and it's something I hadn't really thought about before.
00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:10.160
And it's a traditional financial planning software does not account for a woman's financial path.
00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:22.079
And that resonated because I worked for a while for a financial wellness app, and that was something that I was trying to convince them is like, let's design the app for a woman instead of a man.
00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:28.640
And you know, there were three male founders, and it was just like they were not gonna do it.
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:39.039
And it's just I I think that is a really, really important thing to emphasize is that we need to think differently about the architecture.
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:48.640
So, Adam Holt, if you're listening with asset math, maybe calling you out, Adam, because you do great things, is you know, but I think that's important.
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:51.599
So, you know, Carrie, could you go a little deeper on that?
00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:52.720
Sure.
00:20:52.960 --> 00:21:05.680
Well, so you you gotta remember, you know, I know math is math, but a w a normal career path looks like this, right?
00:21:05.759 --> 00:21:08.160
And and goes up like this over time, right?
00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:09.839
So that's your normal career path.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:16.640
Sometimes you got some stops along the way, but a woman's life could be very drastically different.
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:25.200
It could look like this and stop and be out of the workforce and then go back in and then go back out and then go back in and then go back out.
00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:32.559
So it is definitely just not built for this nice little straight line glide path.
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:35.519
So it's just more challenging.
00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:48.400
So we have to do more work as financial planners and we have to do more educating to figure out how to make it work for a woman because we have those additional challenges.
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:51.279
Yeah, I I love that.
00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:59.680
So, you know, when a financial planner is trying to, you know, you know, change the way they work with women, how can they help women feel more confident?
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:02.000
And engaged.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:06.559
So I think education education is number one.
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:19.440
So I I mean education is your as your as a financial planner educating my clients is step one.
00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:24.240
Like if I'm not educating them, then I'm not doing my job.
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:29.839
Um so so that's that's that's the basics.
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:32.319
Like the the basics is is educating them.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:45.279
Um empowering them is is step two, which is them getting them to the point where they can make the decisions on their own, um with your input, but that they can make the decisions on their own.
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.759
And I think that that's really where you want to where you want to get them to be.
00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:57.680
Um and I always say um I go through with my clients, I go through what I call a resilience bonding.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:01.359
And so, you know, I will get a client who comes to me.
00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:06.240
Usually, I always say my clients come to me when the sun is not shining.
00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:14.880
So I get clients coming to me when there's a death, when there's a disability, when there's a divorce, when there's a job loss.
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:18.000
Always something horrible is happening in their lives.
00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:21.039
And that's when they're hiring me or coming to me.
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:29.279
And so I never get somebody coming when the sun is shining and everything's great, and it's just never like that.
00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:35.119
Now, I know that men hire hire financial planners when the sun is shining, but women seem to not.
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:43.599
I would love it to get to the point where women are hiring financial planners when the sun is shining, but usually the the reality is it's when it's not.
00:23:43.839 --> 00:24:01.039
So I have to get them from this point of you know, the world crashing around them because of what's happening in their lives with the these terrible things, to get to the point where they're now now whole and put back together and the sun is shining and they're on the other side.
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:03.119
So we go from here to here.
00:24:03.279 --> 00:24:06.559
And so I get them from point A to point B.
00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:09.759
And then I call that resilience bonding.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.160
So they will never forget that I got it took them from A to B.
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:19.680
And they will never um and they they credit me for helping them get get them there.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:23.119
And that's why they're loyal and they'll be with me forever.
00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:31.759
Yeah, and I I think that's something we've all experienced when when somebody helps you out and in time of need, you remember that.
00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:32.240
Yeah.
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:34.960
That's yeah, that's where you make a difference.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:46.079
And I think as a planner, advisor, agent, you know, whatever role you have, is that's when you really need to be there for your clients or your community, is when they need you.
00:24:46.319 --> 00:24:55.279
It's easy to be there when things aren't bad, but when things are on fire, that that's when you really need to be there for somebody.
00:24:56.160 --> 00:24:56.799
Yeah.
00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:07.599
So, you know, as as we start to close out, what are three things people should know about earning the long-term trust of women?
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:12.160
So uh first of all, women are worth it.
00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:28.240
Uh we again, what one of the things we talked about earlier is that, you know, women take longer, they have a longer sales cycle, um, but completely the most incredible clients and the most loyal clients.
00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:29.839
So that's one thing.
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:39.119
Second thing is that women are um risk aware rather than risk averse.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:51.279
And so women have a lot of questions related to um, you know, maybe their portfolio or not understanding everything um for whatever reason.
00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:54.400
And so they'll ask more questions than a man will.
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:56.160
A man will just nod and say yes.
00:25:56.319 --> 00:26:00.240
But a woman will ask a lot of questions because they really want to know the answers to that.
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:06.480
And that's not them questioning you, it's it's them being smart for themselves.
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:09.920
So don't take that as an as a negative, take that as a positive.
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:12.079
So the more questions, the better.
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:24.079
Um, and then a third thing that you should know about working with women is that women are um feel lost more than men.
00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:38.319
And this is my experience because all the things that we were just talking about, women make less, we you know, save less, have less, um, retire with two-thirds less, all that stuff.
00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:45.680
Women feel lost more than men do because of all these things and how hard it was to get it in the first place, right?
00:26:46.000 --> 00:27:07.039
So just be um conscious and and and teach them on, you know, the the the principles of you know, not selling when the market is down and you know, really being a behavioral finance advocate for them so that they know the positives and negatives of everything that they're doing and why.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:10.640
I I that's so important, you know.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:12.480
I mean, everything that you went through there.
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:14.319
I'm just making notes.
00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:16.960
Um, one thing you said, the more questions, the better.
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:18.480
Is that something I always felt?
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:24.079
Is that if somebody's not asking questions, and that means they're probably not following along.
00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:25.759
Is well, right.
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:39.119
Or either they're not following along or they're just completely tuning out, which means they're definitely not interested and they're not they're not moving forward, or you're not even you're not even addressing what what it is.
00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:44.799
Like they're they're so lost that they don't even understand what you're saying, that they can't even ask you a question.
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:51.519
So you're either talking over their head or you're talking in jargon, or you're you know not speaking the same language as them.
00:27:52.079 --> 00:27:53.680
Yeah, you're you're doing something wrong.
00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:56.240
You're doing something.
00:27:56.480 --> 00:27:59.440
I always I always would say, I would I I say that all the time.
00:27:59.599 --> 00:28:04.960
Like I did a panel for at the Milken Institute on the feminization of wealth.
00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:14.720
And one of the things was I said, if a client is not understanding me, um, or not I'm doing then I take it on myself.
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:16.000
I'm doing something wrong.
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:23.200
I if I'm not I'm not understanding their objections, I'm not understanding like if I'll put that on myself.
00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:24.559
I did something wrong.
00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:26.880
So it's not the client, it's me.
00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:29.599
I I would I would blame myself for that.
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:31.440
Definitely, definitely.
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:33.920
And um, yeah, I I agree completely.
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:39.599
If somebody's not asking questions, that's something on you, um, not on them.
00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:44.720
I I think the other thing too is that you said to be a behavioral financial advocate.
00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:50.559
And I think that's really important is to remember that you're an advocate for your client, um, as well.
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:57.119
And as you said, is to be there to guide them, not to tell them what to do.
00:28:57.359 --> 00:28:59.519
And I think there's a fine line there.
00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:00.319
Exactly.
00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:08.400
Well, I I I don't know if you you know my slogan for my um newsletter on LinkedIn is compel, don't sell.
00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:12.559
And it's compel her, don't sell her, or compel, don't sell.
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:19.920
And so the whole point of that is a woman does not want to be sold to or told what to do.
00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:34.960
A woman wants to be compelled in a positive way on this is why this is in your best interest, and they should be doing what you're recommending because it's the right thing for them and why.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:39.279
And if they if you can do that, then you're doing everything right.
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:41.200
That is awesome.
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:47.920
And for everybody watching and listening, that's that's why I reached out to you to do another episode, is you know, because of your newsletter.
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:59.519
And um, I I I'm gonna reference this uh article in the show notes, but it's what is the total wealth gap for women based on caregiving, longevity, and the pay gap?
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:09.200
And you know, we've been discussing that throughout the episode that it's you know, that all these things make it you know really that much harder for women.
00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:20.559
It's not just the pay gap, that it's exacerbated by time out of the workforce, it's exacerbated by you know, all these other things that, you know, sometimes women don't move out.
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:24.880
And and you know, women invest less than men.
00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:43.200
So, you know, you've got I I'll I had a woman come to me who had a 401k at her job, and this is before they had um QDIA's, which is the a meet where we used to have a qualified um default.
00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:51.440
So back in the day, we didn't have qualified defaults, meaning somebody's at least invested in something because they made a qualified default.
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:59.200
I had a woman who was invested in her 401k for 25 years and she was in cash the whole time.
00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:04.319
That just you hear those things.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:05.920
So painful.
00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:17.519
Oh, so before we start to wrap up, I I wanted to bring in one thing that you and I were talking about pre-show because I think this is something not only for financial planners, but for our family and friends.
00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:23.599
We were talking about a young lady you knew who purchased a life insurance policy.
00:31:23.839 --> 00:31:29.519
No need for a life insurance, had a what was it, a Roth IRA set up inside an annuity?
00:31:29.839 --> 00:31:34.079
And so, you know, this is something people have heard me talk about.
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:40.400
If you don't have a need for life insurance, you shouldn't be buying an insurance policy, and an insurance policy is not an investment.
00:31:40.480 --> 00:31:44.400
But Carrie, could you give us a couple tidbits on that?
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:45.519
Sure.
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:57.839
So uh well, it so this was a a a friend who I do yoga with who's like in her 20s, and I I did like a little a little talk, and and then I said, let me see your stuff, bring it, bring it to me, let me see it.
00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:02.319
And I saw it and I was literally gasping for what she was in.
00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:12.559
You know, she was 27 years old and she was in the her Roth was in a point-to-point annuity where she made$5,000 in five years.
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:17.519
And, you know, she would have made$25,000 if it was in a regular SP 500.
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:23.599
And then, and then her her other account was in, was, was in the life insurance policy, and she thought it was an investment.
00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:25.759
And I said, no, this is life insurance.
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:29.839
And so the whole thing was just awful, and she had some surrender penalties.
00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:40.880
But I was like, look, if I was you, I'd surrender these and just start over and put this Roth in a in an S P 500, an actual S P 500 Roth, you know, account.
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:49.440
And then let's put, and then you don't really need the life insurance because you're 27 and you have no independence and you don't need life insurance at this stage in your life, right, right at this moment in time.
00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:53.680
So it was just so interesting because she was like, I didn't know what I didn't know.
00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:59.920
I didn't know what to ask, I didn't, you know, and she was just like, just like crying almost to me.
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:03.359
And I was like, look, this is this is what I would do to fix this.
00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:05.119
If you're young enough, we can fix all of this.
00:33:05.279 --> 00:33:06.480
Like it's not the end of the world.
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:18.079
I mean, yes, she lost an additional, you know,$20,000 or whatever, which could be worth, I don't even want to know how much by the time she was 65, but it is what it is.
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:22.000
We're I'm fixing it for her, or I'm telling her how to fix it.
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:37.440
Yeah, and I have a very similar story, is you know, a friend of ours who's pretty much the same circumstances, and you know, and I had to tell her ago, your best alternative is take the loss on the insurance policy and walk away.
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:46.319
Because it's it was going to take her like 20 years to have the premium equal, you know, I mean, have the cash value equal the sum of premiums.
00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:52.559
And it's just like, oh my gosh, you know, but that's why we need financial literacy in schools.
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:56.480
And you know, so financial literacy.
00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:58.799
Anyway, so Carrie, let's wrap up.
00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:01.119
I have what's called the get ready hot take trio.
00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:06.559
And the first one is what's one myth about money that you're trying to break?
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:08.960
That I'm trying to break?
00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:18.079
Um Well, there is no get rich quick.
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:20.960
There's only get rich slow.
00:34:24.320 --> 00:34:27.119
I don't know if that's a myth, but that's what I say.
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:28.559
And it's true.
00:34:29.679 --> 00:34:42.480
I I I like that because I think so many people hear that as you know, all these things is like you can do this and you're gonna get ahead and you're gonna do that, and you know, this is a shortcut that nobody else knows.
00:34:43.039 --> 00:34:43.199
No.
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:45.519
There's there's no shortcuts.
00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:48.719
I think what is what Warren Buffett said, that there's no magic in the market.
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:50.559
Everybody can get rich.
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:53.360
It's but everybody can get rich slow.
00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:54.400
Exactly.
00:34:54.559 --> 00:34:56.880
So let's get at the time machine for a minute.
00:34:57.039 --> 00:35:03.039
If we could go back in time, knowing what you know now about money, what advice would you give your younger self?
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:07.199
So I've pretty much followed every single thing that I would have done.
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:12.880
I would not have changed one thing other than I would not have married my ex-husband.
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:16.000
Well, I don't know if that's good advice for people out there.
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:18.000
Don't marry your ex-husband.
00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:27.519
But that is great advice.
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:33.039
Um I don't know if that'll help people out there, but you know.
00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:40.000
Um so to close out, what's your number one tip to change the way we think about money?
00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:47.599
Um I would say do what the rich people do.
00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:52.159
And the rich people think in decades.
00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:59.199
So every decision that I make, I think, how will this affect me for the next decade?
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:03.360
And that is the way you should be thinking.
00:36:03.599 --> 00:36:12.559
Rather than how can I how is this like you know, they say that if you're poor, you think how what is this for the next day?
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:17.199
If you're middle class, you think, what is this for the next month or the next year?
00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:21.679
And if you're rich, you think how is this gonna affect me in decades?
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:24.320
That's wonderful advice.
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:25.440
Think long term.
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:32.480
So, Carrie, where can people learn more about you, your work, and pick up a copy of your latest book?
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:33.840
Yes, my most recent book.
00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:38.800
As well as a copy of your prior money's team's guide.
00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:39.599
Sure.
00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:41.599
So um, I am easy to find.
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:44.559
I am the only Carrie Carbonaro on the planet.
00:36:44.719 --> 00:36:47.760
So it's very easy because I'm the only person with my name.
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:49.119
So you can find me.
00:36:49.199 --> 00:36:52.480
Um, I have my website is carrycarbonaro.com.
00:36:52.719 --> 00:36:58.800
You can find me on LinkedIn at Carrie Carbonaro, you can find me on Facebook at Carrie Carbonaro, you can find me on Instagram at Carrie Carbonaro.
00:36:58.880 --> 00:36:59.760
I'm super easy to find.
00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:03.760
You can find me on X at Carrie Carbonaro.
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:10.880
Um, you can find my book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble, or anywhere that I guess books are.
00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:15.360
So you can Google it if you want to find an independent bookstore.
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:16.400
Fantastic.
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:21.840
Yeah, and for independent bookstores, I'll give a shout out to bookshop.org, which donates money.
00:37:21.920 --> 00:37:25.920
If you buy a book through their platform, they donate money to individual book.
00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:28.159
Independent bookstores get that.
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:29.440
Awesome.
00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:32.559
So yeah, so bookshop.org is a great alternative.
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:39.599
And for everybody watching and listening, if you have access to the show notes, you'll be able to find all those links that Carrie mentioned in the show notes.
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:43.920
So, Carrie, thanks for joining us again on Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:45.039
Wonderful.
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:46.880
So happy to be here.
00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:49.039
Yeah, appreciate your time and insights.
00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:54.159
And thank you, everyone, as always, for tuning in to this episode of Get Ready Before Life Happens.
00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:59.920
If you learned something today to change the way you think about money, please be sure to subscribe and to tell a friend.
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.719
You can also go to my website at Tony Stewart.com to start your financial readiness plan.
00:38:05.119 --> 00:38:23.119
Because when life happens, the way you think about money matters, you can't do that.
