Ep 197: Slowing Down as a Superpower with Carlos Diaz

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Hi everyone, we are Rena and Dara, and welcome to Fertility Ford.
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We are part of the wellness team at RMA of New York, a fertility clinic affiliated with Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.
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Our Fertility Ford podcast brings together advice from medical professionals, mental health specialists, wellness experts, and patients because knowledge is power and you are your own best advocate.
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I have been so excited to have this guest on.
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We have today the incredible Carlos Diaz, who is a meditation teacher.
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He's a retreat facilitator with over a decade of experience in the wellness and personal development space.
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And since 2016, Carlos has worked extensively in the retreat industry, teaching at some of the country's leading luxury wellness retreats, including the Pearl and Laguna Beach, the Ranch Malibu, and the Ranch Hudson Valley.
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His work brings together meditation, mindfulness, conscious living, and personal transformation.
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He has worked with executives, CEOs, entrepreneurs, and business leaders, creating experiences that invite people to slow down, reconnect with themselves, gain clarity, and rediscover the wisdom and guidance of their own hearts.
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Carlos, thanks for being here today and giving us your time and sharing your wisdom with our listeners.
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Dara, thank you so much.
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Rina, thank you so much for having me here on the podcast.
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It's honestly always, always an honor and a pleasure for me to have these opportunities and these platforms to bring light and bring information regarding, of course, conscious living, mindfulness, meditation.
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And it's a pleasure to be here.
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Well, we are so happy to have you.
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And I already feel more grounded being even in this energetic space with you on Zoom.
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It's really even transforming and transferring through that.
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So thank you so much.
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All right.
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Well, I would love to take a moment here before we start, of course, with the questions and with the conversation, just to take a moment here to recenter, if you don't mind.
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Sure.
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Welcome that.
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So I'm just gonna ask you both to close your eyes wherever you are, find the comfortable position, and to take a moment here to recalibrate to come back to the center.
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I'm gonna ask you to find your breath right away.
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Find your breath and just begin to lengthen your breath.
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Lengthen your inhale.
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Lengthen your exhale.
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Just take a minute.
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What a nice way to start.
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Oh nice.
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That's a great reminder of how even a minute or two can really do a reset.
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Exactly.
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This is something so simple and so powerful.
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And this is a quick little practice that I wanted to share with you.
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Because when this becomes a habit, I tell you, I do this more than a dozen of times a day.
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In between clients, when I get in my car before I start driving, when I park my car before I go somewhere else, when I'm in the bathroom, when I'm here, it's just a moment, a moment.
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We live in such a fast-paced world that to slow down is become a superpower.
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So when we learn how to slow down and how to calm down, oh my gosh, we can taste everything more, we can enjoy everything more, and we can really act with more awareness.
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So this is a very simple practice and a very powerful practice to begin to slow down and be present.
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I love that.
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I've really shifted my mindset, or maybe it's just my awareness that I'm no longer, I'm not impressed by someone that tells me all the things that they do.
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I'm impressed by someone that tells me that they've integrated stillness into their life and they, you know, have paused and slowed down and cut things out because I think that is really hard, but leads to such a better way of being mentally and physically.
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Exactly.
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It's all about well-being now, and well-being means to be well, to be well when this happens, when that happens.
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So yeah, we must learn how to simplify again.
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Well, actually, this is such a timely recording.
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I was just speaking with a client who just did a trip out west, solo trip, hiking, and you know, was reflecting on it was something very new for her.
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And we're in Manhattan, we're, you know, super fast-paced, busy, and just how much different she felt after being out in that space.
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So then, you know, we were talking about, okay, well, how do you take that feeling and how do you implement that?
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What are practices you can implement into the reality of where we live, right?
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We don't live in the mountains, we don't live but in California, we live in a city, right?
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Where it's hustle and bustle and all of that.
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So, how can you, in the reality of what your life is, take these practices and put them in?
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See, something that I have learned from being in hosting retreats for now a decade, you know, in multiple places.
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It's truly that the message has become so clear for me that what all these different practices are all about, and what the retreat or the healing or the wellness industry is all about, is about learning how to create and sustain a positive and healthy state of being all day, every day.
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Okay, so when you go to a retreat, oh, we're gonna take you hiking, you're gonna have a massage, you're gonna have medication classes, you're gonna have yoga, you can choose to have Reiki, you can do all these.
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We expose everyone to a variety of wellness practices and activities.
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And of course, a lot of people ask that question, you know, at the end of the last night of the program, everybody's overwhelmed.
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Oh my gosh, but how am I gonna fit a four-hour hike and a daily massage?
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And who's gonna wake me up in the morning?
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And I I tell everybody, like, of course, I understand, but what we are misinterpreting is that it's not about that, okay?
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When you go to a hiking trip like your friend or your client, of course, it's super important that the trip shakes you up.
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You know, it shakes you up and it makes you really rethink everything or why am I doing what I'm doing?
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And how can I change things and how can I make my life a little bit better?
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It's all about creating a lifestyle.
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It's all about a lifestyle, it's all about taking care of yourself.
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So I understand we live in the city, I understand we have families, I understand we have jobs, I understand all those responsibilities.
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But we must make an effort.
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We must make an effort, and I emphasize effort because effort is necessary to have a successful, be successful at anything in life.
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Okay, nothing is gonna come without effort.
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So we must make an effort to create a life outside of our responsibilities that keep us excited, that keep us positive, that keep us clean, that keep us healthy, that keep us in a state of being that is going to remind us how much we love what we do.
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So that when we go back to work, or when we go and deal with our kids, or when we go and deal with whatever responsibilities that each of us might have, we can go back in there fresh.
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So retreats are super important, sure, but maybe a retreat you do once a year.
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But it's about those little activities.
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Maybe you make an effort and you wake up earlier and you start with a meditation in the morning or reading sacred literature in the morning.
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Maybe on your way to work, you listen to music that's gonna give you a little upbeat that is gonna make you feel better.
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Maybe you're gonna listen to a podcast, maybe you're gonna make sure that you eat healthy lunch.
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Maybe when you go back, you're gonna watch a show with your kids, with your spouse that is gonna also uplift you.
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It's those things, it's those little things that we can put in between those activities that can reconnect us.
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And it's about that.
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We're gonna talk about meditation in just a moment, but it's about that reconnecting you with yourself, with your heart, with your soul.
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So you choose what activities really resonate with you, but you have to make an effort and be consistent, like anything.
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You want to have a beautiful marriage, you have to make an effort.
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You want to have a good career, you need to make an effort.
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You want to be good at something, you need to make an effort.
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Nothing is gonna come without effort.
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So wellness and well-being requires also an effort and discipline and consistency so that we can stay connected.
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Absolutely.
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I mean, I think it's even little practices.
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I mean, they sound little, but they're actually big things such as, you know, when you walk around, don't be on your phone.
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Have it in your bag in your pocket.
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Well, you know, texting and walking is horrible practice.
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Being on your phone while you're supposed to be doing something else, you know, put your phone on silent all day so you're not stimulated by the alerts all the time.
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As someone that's done many, many retreats myself, that is something that I really took away from me over the years was that not having access to my phone and then keeping that practice when I returned home by keeping my phone on silent, by not walking and looking at my phone, by just having silence, not you know, putting in airpods all the time.
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That was a real tangible way to bring some of that feeling into my life here.
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And I do that daily for me.
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I'm not someone that is addicted to my phone.
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And I really think that lends itself to a much easier, softer way of being.
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I know though, for so many people.
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I mean, for myself, I remember I have been on so many mountains in California trying to find service to check my email.
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What did I miss?
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Oh my gosh.
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Like I can track my progress through the years, you know, and now I'll go.
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And I don't even look at my phone once.
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I'm so happy to not have that.
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And that's huge, exactly.
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But again, that's something that we we must crack our own code, you know, we must see what releases tension, what releases stress, and to do more of that.
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And we also must uh notice what adds tension, what adds stress, and to remove as much as we can from that.
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So yeah, it's a lifestyle, it's an everyday practice.
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And it does take time and curiosity, self-curiosity to recognize what are the things that are taking you away from yourself and what are the things that are bringing you back.
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I was thinking, Rena, with your patient who, you know, was coming back to the real world or or this world.
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And how can you still kind of tap into that?
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When you close your eyes and you go inwards, you could be anywhere.
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Like you, I mean, you could you're here, but you can, in terms of imagination and what you feel surrounding you, you can be anywhere.
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The other thing I I would think about is light is so important, and that's sometimes when you're in a big city and there's noise and all that, just even getting outside and connecting to sunlight.
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Oh, yeah, the circadian rhythm exactly can be great, a great way, at least to feel like you're maybe not reconnecting to the nature that you get on a mountaintop, but still getting in contact to something that is part of nature.
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We are living in incredible times where again, wellness is so predominant now, and we have so many options, so many options.
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So we need to be curious, as you were saying, Dara, and be curious about these activities.
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And the first thing, of course, is we must commit to living a beautiful life.
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You know, I think that's the first step.
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Is you have to be ready to say, okay, I'm ready to live the most amazing life.
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I want to live a beautiful life.
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That's the first step.
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You must commit to living a beautiful life.
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And when that commitment is there, the search begins.
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Absolutely.
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It's beautiful.
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So I'm super curious as to how you got into this space.
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And then we can, of course, dive even deeper into the world of meditation.
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This is a whole story, and I know that we only have so much time, so I'm gonna give the short version for this so that we can continue to move forward.
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But crisis, crisis.
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I always say that crisis is the perfect recipe for a transformation, you know.
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And to me, crisis hit at a very young age, and today I can I am so grateful for it, you know.
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Today I'm so grateful, and I understand, of course, why it hit so early, but it was amazing.
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In the moment, it was the most stressful and difficult experience of my life.
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But again, with the attitude of always wanting to learn and wanting to make adjustments and wanting to change is how I got here.
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So this started when I was 23.
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So I was 23.
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Today I'm 36.
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So it's been over a decade since this happened to me.
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And I can tell you that there was a before and an after.
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You know, it was an experience that changed my life, of course.
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And I can say that my first life ended right there, and then my second life started.
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The birth of my second life started right there when I was 23.
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So I was living in Spain, okay.
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Back in the day, I'm born in Mexico, and I have lived in three different countries, and I was raised in three different countries: Mexico, the US, and Spain over a decade in each country, back and forth, different seasons.
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And this happened to me when I was living in Spain.
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I was 23 and I was in a relationship with this girl back then, and this was a very toxic relationship, you know, and I had never been in a toxic relationship before.
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So I had no experience.
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I had no experience, I didn't know how to deal with it.
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I've always been a guy that trusts and that wants to trust in everyone and wants to make sure that I look for the good things in everyone, you know.
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And this was a relationship where basically we were breaking up and getting back together.
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I'm breaking up and getting back together, and we used to work together.
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So that made it so difficult to break up and move on because we would break up and we would see each other again two days later, three days later, and we would get back at it.
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And this is kind of how it went for a long time a year and a half, a year and three, four months, something like that.
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And I always felt, I always felt something is off, you know, something is off.
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This is not normal, this is not right, but I never caught anything, you know.
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I never caught her anything.
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So, but I always just felt like there's something wrong.
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But back then I was not connected with myself.
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I was not, I didn't know how to trust my intuition, I didn't know how to follow the signs.
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I didn't know.
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And one day we break up, another time that we break up, and I'm saying, this is the last time, I can't deal with this anymore.
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And of course, she goes back out, give me one last chance, let me prove it one more time.
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I said, Okay, sure, here we go, one more time.
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Two days later, two days after this, I woke up in my house.
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I used to live in a little studio by myself, and I woke up nervous, nervous, already nervous, already anxious.
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No idea, of course, you know, but I woke up in this state, and that day I was not gonna be going to work where we used to work together.
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The plan was that I was gonna go and pick her up at night at the end of her shift.
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So as the day was progressing, I was feeling more nervous.
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I was feeling more anxious.
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I was feeling just like something is wrong.
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Something is wrong.
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And then in the afternoon, she sends me a text.
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Hey, babe, you know what?
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I'm not feeling well right now, and I think I'm just gonna go home after my shift.
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I'll just take the subway.
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This is living in Madrid, so very similar to New York, where we are using public transportation to go everywhere.
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And she says, I think I'm just gonna take the subway and I'm just gonna go home.
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So I'll come tomorrow morning and we'll eat breakfast together.
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I said, Fine, yeah, of course, no problem.
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We'll talk later.
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And then I had a thought that said, Go pick her up, go pick her up.
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I didn't doubt that thought at all.
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It was a thought that came to my mind that straight away said, go pick her up.
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So the day goes by and I know her shift is done at 8, 8:30, something like that.
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I get ready, I go pick her up.
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I'm like, well, instead of her taking the subway, then I'll just surprise her, get her, and I can drive her instead of an hour commute.
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It can be 20 minutes or so.
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So I get in my car and I'm going to work, and I'm so nervous in the car.
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So nervous.
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I'm stopping at the red light, and I'm just thinking, let's go, let's go, let's go.
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Where's the green light?
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Where's the green light?
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I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go.
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I go.
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We used to work for a stadium in Real Madrid, over there in Madrid, which is a big soccer club.
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And working for that store, it was very difficult to find parking, right?
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And this time there was a perfect parking spot waiting for me right outside the store.
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So I parked right there.
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And as I parked, it was late November in Spain, it was cold.
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I didn't get out of my car, I didn't go in the store to say hi to anyone.
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I just said, I'm gonna wait right here.
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And I'm sitting in the car, and it's now a couple minutes before her shift is gonna end.
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And as I'm parked right here, a car comes and parks right next to me in an illegal way.
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Okay, just as if they're just gonna come and pick somebody up or drop off somebody, right?
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So a car parks right next to me, and I look through the window and I see a young guy.
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And I see a young guy, and when I look again, I think, I think I know who this guy is.
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I think this is the ex-boyfriend.
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This ex-boyfriend had texted me a year ago when he probably knew that I was also dating this person, this girl, and we knew each other.
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We've seen our photos on social media.
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So I remember that I get out of my car to welcome my ex-girlfriend.
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Okay, and I'm ready to welcome her.
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So I'm outside of my car waiting, and she comes out of the store and she sees both of us.
00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:44.000
I'm outside of the car, he's in the car, and her face just I mean, imagine two days before she was like, One more chance, one more chance, right?
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:50.880
And then I'm there, and her face is just white, white, pale, like she saw a ghost.
00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:52.960
And in that moment, I understood.
00:20:53.119 --> 00:20:55.279
Like in that moment, I understood.
00:20:55.519 --> 00:20:57.279
She went back into the store.
00:20:57.519 --> 00:21:02.480
I went to his car, I knocked at the window, I said, Roll down the window, what's your name?
00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:04.240
I just needed to know his name.
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:06.559
And that was the last piece of the puzzle.
00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:07.119
Okay.
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:08.640
I just needed his name.
00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:10.319
And he tells me his name.
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:12.640
And I knew, okay, that's him.
00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:13.519
That's him.
00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:16.480
They have never broken up, you know, they're still together.
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:19.680
So I said goodbye, and I go back into my car.
00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:24.079
He gets out of the car and he tells me, Who the F are you?
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:26.720
And I said, I'm Carlos, I'm her boyfriend.
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:28.240
And he says, What are you talking about?
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:30.880
I've been dating her for two and a half years.
00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:34.480
I've been dating her for a year and a half, a little less than that.
00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:41.839
So in that moment, we both realized, oh my gosh, we've been like very well played.
00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:45.680
So I told him, get in my car, let's go to a bar, let's go talk.
00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:46.640
Let's go talk.
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:48.240
And we both get in the car.
00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:49.680
We actually get in his car.
00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:51.359
I'm in the passenger seat.
00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:56.319
We start talking, we exchange phones, and he's looking at my text.
00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:57.680
I'm looking at his text.
00:21:57.839 --> 00:22:05.119
We are both understanding and Realizing, oh my gosh, we've been dating the same girl for a long time.
00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:09.759
So then she calls him, Hey babe, I'm just gonna be coming out through the other door.
00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:11.519
Do you mind picking me up over here?
00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:14.480
And he says, No, no, why don't you come out from the front door?
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:15.359
I'm here with Carlos.
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:16.079
We're both in the car.
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:17.599
We're talking, you should come out.
00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:19.119
You can imagine, right?
00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:22.640
So then she comes out running, running out of the store.
00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:25.279
He gets out of the car, goes and confronts her.
00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:28.640
I go in there, I tell them, All right, guys, I'm out of the picture.
00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:31.680
If you guys want to get back together, I'm out of here.
00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:33.119
I go back into my car.
00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:34.319
I couldn't believe it.
00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:37.119
You know, I couldn't believe what was happening in that moment.
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.640
Anyway, the next day we were both scheduled to work together.
00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:43.119
That night I didn't sleep at all.
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:52.799
I didn't sleep one minute, you know, and I was just putting my entire relationship in perspective and understanding, oh my gosh, that moment, oh, makes sense.
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:55.279
Oh my gosh, that other moment, oh, makes sense.
00:22:55.440 --> 00:23:02.400
Oh, I started reviewing my entire relationship and understanding why this happened or understanding how it all happened.
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:05.440
And the next day we were both scheduled to work together.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:14.640
And I was just so angry and so ready to look at her eyes face to face, just her and I, and say, Why would you do this?
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:20.960
You know, like you had so many chances to just get out of this and just live your life the way that you want to.
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:22.640
We broke up so many times.
00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:24.720
Why would you do this?
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:27.279
And of course, I'm being right now very respectful.
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:30.720
I, of course, my tone of voice was absolutely different.
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:34.720
And I saw her at work, I went right after her.
00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:36.079
She's going to the restroom.
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:37.440
I go right behind her.
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:38.559
I go to the restroom.
00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.920
I get her there in the restroom, and we argued for two minutes.
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:48.880
And I was just telling her, like, I'm not gonna say this out loud, probably here, because I don't know if it's allowed or not.
00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:52.799
But I said that she's the worst person that I've with different words.
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:55.839
I said she's the worst person that I've ever met in my life.
00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:59.759
And I couldn't believe that she would do something like that to anybody, you know.
00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:05.119
We have broken up so many times, and she in that moment looked at me and said, Who are you?
00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:06.880
I don't know anything about you.
00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:08.559
I have no idea what you're doing here.
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:10.079
I've never seen you in my life.
00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:13.440
Get out of here, and we argue for two minutes, and I get out of there.
00:24:13.599 --> 00:24:18.160
I thought I was gonna get uh, I'm so sorry, you know, I'm so sorry this happened, and that's it.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:19.519
You got caught and that's it.
00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:23.200
But no, it was more like I have no idea who you are, I don't know what happened.
00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:35.279
Anyway, I get out of the bathroom, I go to the storage unit that we have there in the store, and I'm crying and I'm crying and I'm crying, and I just can't believe what happened to me yesterday, what's happening today.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:36.640
It seems like a dream.
00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:37.920
I don't understand.
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:41.680
15 minutes later, a manager comes looking for me.
00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:42.640
Where's Carlos?
00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:43.680
Has anybody seen Carlos?
00:24:43.759 --> 00:24:49.920
And I'm just sitting down on the ground against uh against the wall, looking down and just in disbelief.
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:51.680
And he says, Carlos, what happened?
00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:58.000
Barbara just went downstairs to talk to the general manager, to talk to all the managers, saying that you beat her up.
00:24:58.319 --> 00:25:02.240
I was like, um, guys, what are you talking about?
00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:02.960
Like, look at me.
00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:04.720
I had scratches everywhere.
00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:12.640
My shirt was the neck of my shirt was completely like broken because she was trying to slap me and hit me while we were having this argument.
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:16.799
Anyway, they tell me you're gonna go down to the office and you're gonna tell your story.
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:18.160
Barbara went home.
00:25:18.319 --> 00:25:19.440
That's her name, Barbara.
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:22.480
And they said, and you're gonna tell your story and then you're gonna go home.
00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:23.279
I said, Okay.
00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:26.000
So I go to the office, I'm telling my story.
00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:33.759
And as I'm telling my story, the phone rings in the office, and the general manager picks up the phone and he's talking, uh-huh.
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:35.200
Yeah, okay.
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:36.720
All right, okay.
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:40.079
Hangs up and he tells me, Carlos, that's the police.
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:45.200
She's at the police station, she's reporting you for domestic violence, they're going to arrest you.
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:49.039
I just again couldn't believe it was just piling up more things.
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:50.960
I thought again, can we just move on?
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:53.039
Can we just like move on?
00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:54.720
And no, now she's there.
00:25:54.880 --> 00:26:01.200
Now I there's an order for arrest, and they are helping me there at work, and they're telling me, okay, you should go and do the same thing.
00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:06.160
You should go over there, report your injuries, report what happened, and let's see what happens.
00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:09.279
So I do the whole thing and I they send me to the hospital.
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:13.200
I need to go to the hospital, I need to get my report for my injuries.
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:21.599
Then I go back to the police station, I'm there at the police station, and then a police comes out, a policeman comes out and says, Wait a minute, what's your name?
00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:23.359
And I said, I'm Carlos Diaz.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:26.160
And he says, Oh, we have an order for arrest.
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:30.240
So you are gonna be arrested for domestic violence, you cannot get out of here.
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:32.319
And I was like, guys, but come on, look at me.
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:33.440
I'm reporting all of this.
00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:34.079
Look what happened.
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:40.319
They say, I'm sorry, but this is how the law works here in Spain, and you're gonna stay arrested.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:45.200
So I was able to send the last text to one of my friends that I was talking to that I'm saying I'm getting arrested.
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:46.960
I didn't have any family at the time.
00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:50.960
My family was living in the US, in Mexico, I was in Spain by myself.
00:26:51.119 --> 00:27:00.880
So I get arrested and I'm in a cell by myself, and I was arrested for three days, and those three days changed my life forever.
00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:11.680
And the first 24 hours, I was in such a state that I received I had a divine intervention in that cell.
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:15.599
So I was in a very dark cell by myself.
00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:17.279
I will never forget this.
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:19.759
It was four steps by four steps.
00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:34.160
Dark, smelly, and there was only a little opening in the door where you could see a light somewhere outside, and it was so disorienting because at some point you don't know what time it is and for how long you've been here.
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:41.039
So I'm there in the cell, and I you can imagine all the worst emotions that anybody can have.
00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:42.720
They were, I had all of them.
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:58.160
You know, I felt betrayed, I felt angry, I felt sad, I felt confused, I felt afraid, I felt nervous, I was all those feelings that anybody can imagine.
00:27:58.480 --> 00:28:01.599
I was experiencing them all at the same time.
00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:11.519
And while I'm there in the cell, I start speaking out loud to God and I start saying, God, help me, help me, help me.
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:12.720
I need help.
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:14.240
Why am I here?
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:16.079
I can't believe that I'm here.
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:20.000
You know that I've always been the most positive person in the room.
00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:22.000
I'm always the one that is trying to help.
00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:24.160
I'm always the one that is trying to make everybody happy.
00:28:24.240 --> 00:28:27.519
I'm always the one that is trying to change the energy in the room.
00:28:27.599 --> 00:28:29.440
I'm always trying to get better.
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:30.880
I'm always that guy.
00:28:31.119 --> 00:28:32.720
Why is this happening to me?
00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:37.839
I said, I've never had any guidance, and I know that I've been making also bad decisions, but I need help.
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:41.039
I need guidance, I need direction, I need help.
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:42.319
Help me, help me.
00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:44.640
And I'm speaking like this out loud.
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:50.400
And then I start thinking, okay, let's see how I got here.
00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:53.519
I had never been a guy that had a victim mindset.
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:56.240
I always took responsibility for my actions.
00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:01.599
So I didn't sit there thinking it's her fault, it's her fault, because nobody forced me to be with her.
00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:04.400
And I chose to be with a person like that.
00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:08.799
So I started thinking, why did I choose somebody like that?
00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:11.119
How did I make that decision?
00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:14.799
So I thought to myself, I need to take a look at my life.
00:29:14.960 --> 00:29:20.720
I need to take a look at my life and see where I made a wrong turn, a turn, where things went south.
00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:28.079
So I said, okay, I'm gonna, I went into a very deep introspection and I went into my first memory as a human being.
00:29:28.240 --> 00:29:40.079
I said, I'm gonna go to my first memory that I have as a human being, and then I'm gonna press play and I'm gonna watch the movie of my life until that present moment, and I'm gonna see what happened, what went wrong.
00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:45.359
And I closed my eyes and I started looking for my first memory as a human being.
00:29:45.519 --> 00:29:51.440
And it was a birthday when I was, I don't know, four years old, five years old, a party, my family.
00:29:51.599 --> 00:30:19.119
I remember all of that, and I pressed play, and I watched my entire life living in all these different countries, all these different cities, divorced parents, growing up in families where everybody's divorced, where everybody cheats on their spouses, where there are no values, no principles, where we don't have conversations, where we just figure it out, where we have big expectations, but nobody's telling us how to do it.
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:20.720
And it's a mess.
00:30:20.880 --> 00:30:21.440
It's a mess.
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:24.480
It was a very chaotic life, a very chaotic upbringing.
00:30:24.640 --> 00:30:28.559
I went to more than 10 schools, I had to adapt to all these different cultures.
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:31.440
I never sat down with my parents to see how am I doing.
00:30:31.680 --> 00:30:33.599
So everything was piling up.
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:36.880
And I opened my eyes, I came to the present moment.
00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:41.359
And when I opened my eyes, I said, Oh, it makes sense.
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:46.559
It makes sense that a chaotic life has a stop right here.
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:47.839
It makes sense.
00:30:48.079 --> 00:30:54.480
And as I started thinking more and more about it makes sense, I received another thought.
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:58.720
And this thought was similar to the thought that told me, Go pick her up.
00:30:58.960 --> 00:31:05.039
But this thought was like lightning striking in my mind, and it was a thought that I didn't create.
00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:14.079
That's why I call it a divine intervention because this thought told me at the age of 23, it's time for you to learn how to love yourself.
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:22.000
And when I received that thought, I had no idea what that meant, but I knew I was asking for guidance.
00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:25.920
I was asking God to help me, to help me, to give me direction.
00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:31.680
And I received that thought, and I knew that's the guidance that I needed.
00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:48.960
In that moment, my energy shifted, shifted, and I was not afraid anymore, and I was not concerned anymore, and I was not worried anymore, and I was way more at peace, and I knew things were gonna be okay, and that's how it all started.
00:31:49.279 --> 00:32:07.759
We had our court case, and we had co-workers testifying, and then we were able to show footage of the store, and they were able to see this person, Barbara, coming out of the bathroom and having fun with co-workers and laughing and talking, and they were able to see that this person was not beat up.
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:12.400
You know, this person came out of the bathroom like nothing happened, and it was fine, and nothing happened.
00:32:12.640 --> 00:32:20.319
So then we were able to show all of this footage and again had people testifying about us and our relationship and all of it.
00:32:20.480 --> 00:32:23.839
And anyway, I was able to be released and it was fine.
00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:32.960
And I went back home, and that first night, my friends came with me to my apartment, and they didn't want to leave me alone, and they wanted to spend time with me.
00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:36.000
And at some point I told them, guys, I'm so exhausted.
00:32:36.079 --> 00:32:46.480
It was three days that I didn't sleep at all, and I was in such a different state, and I didn't eat anything, I didn't drink water, I was just in such a different state, and I was ready to go to sleep.
00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:56.400
And uh, once everybody left and I showered and I'm all good, I get in bed and I turned the light off and I started shaking.
00:32:56.559 --> 00:33:02.720
I started shaking, shaking, shaking in bed, and I could smell the cell that I was in.
00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:05.839
I could smell, and I thought I was there again.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:11.519
So I had to turn the light on to remind myself, you're fine, you're fine, I'm home.
00:33:11.680 --> 00:33:13.759
I'm home, I'm home, I'm fine.
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:20.079
And I had to sleep with the lights on all that night to remind myself, I'm home, I'm home, I'm fine.
00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:21.440
It's over, it's over.
00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:27.279
And the next morning that I woke up, I only had a couple of days off, and then I had to go back to work, you know.
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:39.119
And I woke up in the morning, and the first thing that I did is I went to the bathroom and I went to the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror, and my face was different.
00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:40.799
My face was different.
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:58.319
I was again, I had been through shock, I had been through a very traumatic experience, and I was so sad, and I had all these terrible emotions in me, and my face was different, my body language was different, and I looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn't believe it.
00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:03.440
And I looked at myself and I said, Okay, there's two options here.
00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:12.400
Option number one, I don't do anything about this, and I just keep getting more and more depressed, and I don't know what's gonna happen.
00:34:12.880 --> 00:34:25.920
Option number two, I help myself and I get myself out of here, and in that moment, I had an experience where I was outside of my body for seconds, seconds.
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:38.239
I was outside of my body, I was looking at Carlos in front of the mirror, I was behind him, I'm behind him, and I could see Carlos was hurt.
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:45.199
Carlos's body language was so depressed, the body language that you would expect from somebody that is very depressed.
00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:50.639
Looking down, shoulders down, no life in me.
00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:56.000
And I remember that I looked down and I said, I got you.
00:34:56.239 --> 00:34:59.199
I'm gonna love you, I'm gonna love you, and I'm gonna help you.
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:00.960
And I came back into my body.
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:07.519
That was just seconds, seconds, and I was back in the body, and I knew what self-love meant.
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.239
The thought that I received when I was in that cell.
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:12.559
It's time for me to love myself.
00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:14.239
This was gonna be my test.
00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:16.400
And that's how the journey started.
00:35:16.559 --> 00:35:24.480
And after that, I started watching documentaries on YouTube, watching talks on YouTube, what is self-love, personal development.
00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:25.760
They were talking about books.
00:35:25.920 --> 00:35:32.480
I started picking up all these books, and all of this was just waking me up, completely waking me up.
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:39.039
And then these books started talking about meditation, meditation, and I thought, oh my God, my mom started meditating a couple of years ago.
00:35:39.280 --> 00:35:43.039
Next time that I come home to California, I'm gonna ask my mom to help me out.
00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:44.639
And then I went back home.
00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:46.800
I was doing all my homework every day.
00:35:46.960 --> 00:35:56.639
It was an opportunity for me to love myself and to start making decisions, decisions that were gonna help me and prove to me how much I loved myself, right?
00:35:56.800 --> 00:36:02.079
Through my friends, through the places that I was gonna frequent, through the exercise, through the food that I was eating.
00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:07.679
I started making decisions that supported the fact that I was gonna love myself.
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:11.440
And then I go back to California six months later.
00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:15.199
I visit my family and I tell my mom, Mom, I want to meditate.
00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:16.559
Can you help me out?
00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:17.920
She was like, What?
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:20.960
She would always tell me to meditate with her years before.
00:36:21.119 --> 00:36:23.599
And I was always not mom, that I don't have time for that.
00:36:23.679 --> 00:36:25.920
I'm gonna go out with my friends, I'm gonna go do all these things.
00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:26.960
That's not for me.
00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:28.159
Any time, anyway.
00:36:28.480 --> 00:36:30.639
This I knew I want to learn that.
00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:32.320
All these books are talking about meditation.
00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:33.360
I need to learn that.
00:36:33.679 --> 00:36:37.119
So my mom gave me very simple instructions.
00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:38.480
And we sat down.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:47.440
She had a walk-in closet, and we went into the closet, and we both sat down together in the closet, and she said, I'm just gonna set a timer for five minutes, nothing more.
00:36:47.599 --> 00:36:48.400
Five minutes.
00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:52.719
The mind is gonna be there, Carlos, but just don't entertain the mind, okay?
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:53.840
That's all she told me.
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:55.760
And I said, Okay, okay, sounds good.
00:36:56.000 --> 00:36:58.960
And I found my position and I closed my eyes.
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:11.760
Five minutes went by, the timer went off, and when I opened my eyes, I said, This is it, this is it, this is what I've been chasing, this is what I've been looking for, but I didn't know it was this.
00:37:12.079 --> 00:37:22.800
I experienced a moment again, because it was five minutes, a moment of peace, such peace that it changed my life.
00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:26.880
And 13 years later, here I am, you know.
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:39.760
I've not missed one day because that became my nourishment, that became water to my soul, and then meditation took over me, you know.
00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:41.119
It took over me.
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:49.199
Today I can tell you that meditation was waiting for me, and I didn't know I was also looking for it, you know, and waiting for it.
00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:55.920
And I was 23 years old, uh, 24 at the moment, at the time that I meditated, and I knew this is it.
00:37:56.079 --> 00:38:05.360
And then, of course, my preparation and studying and going to school and learning all about it and training and my own practice and all of it, and and here I am.
00:38:05.519 --> 00:38:08.159
But that's that's my story, and I'm not sure.
00:38:08.559 --> 00:38:12.400
It sounds like it was waiting for you at the perfect moment.
00:38:12.559 --> 00:38:12.880
Yeah.
00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:24.239
As much as it sounds like you went through quite a bit to get to that part of it, you know, it sounds like your mother tried to get you to do it, but it's all about timing.
00:38:24.400 --> 00:38:30.079
I really do feel like in life certain things call you, and it sounds like it called you exactly what it needed to.
00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:45.679
When I speak personally to my patients about asking them if they have a meditation practice, oftentimes the first thing that they say back to me if they're a little bit reluctant is I don't know how to meditate or it doesn't work for me.
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:49.840
It sounds as though you were able to pick it up really quickly.
00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:54.000
Do you find that some people aren't able to?
00:38:54.079 --> 00:38:57.760
And is it because they're quote unquote meditating wrong?
00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:09.039
You know, I think that now that I have a very good understanding of what meditation is all about, sure, it's it's easy for people to pick it up, you know.
00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:13.280
But I think that of course it has so much to do with instructions, you know?
00:39:13.519 --> 00:39:18.880
And for me, it happened to be that with just those instructions, I was able to access it.
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:26.400
But I understand how difficult of a practice this is, and we need just more awareness behind the practice.
00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:34.800
And I feel like that's the biggest misconception of meditation, and I'm gonna just go into this because of what you're telling me with some of your clients.
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:40.639
But the biggest misconception behind meditation is that people think that it's about stopping the mind.
00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:47.760
People think that it's about stopping your thoughts, is that you are not good at it because you can't stop your thoughts or you can't stop the mind.
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:50.320
And that's the biggest misconception, you know.
00:39:50.559 --> 00:39:53.760
Nobody can stop their mind, nobody can stop their thoughts.
00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:58.480
The mind is a sacred tool, a sacred tool that needs cleanup.
00:39:58.639 --> 00:39:59.920
And we will talk about this.
00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:01.679
This is what meditation is all about.
00:40:01.840 --> 00:40:06.639
But the biggest misconception is that, you know, is that people think that they're gonna stop their mind.
00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:14.079
And the mind is like an organ, you know, just like you can't stop the activity of the lungs and the kidneys and the liver or the heart.
00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:15.440
You cannot stop the mind.
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:16.559
It's not about that.
00:40:16.800 --> 00:40:23.519
I have a little diagram here that I drew to show you all so that we understand the process behind meditation.
00:40:23.760 --> 00:40:30.480
But that's the biggest misconception, and I want to define what meditation is all about and the purpose behind meditation.
00:40:30.559 --> 00:40:33.840
I know that there are some techniques, okay?
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:42.559
I people talk about transcendental meditation, people talk about candle gazing, people talk about mantras, people talk about breathing exercises.
00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:53.679
These are all techniques, but meditation is meditation, and the purpose behind meditation is to reconnect with yourself.
00:40:54.320 --> 00:40:58.159
The purpose behind meditation is to reconnect with your heart.
00:40:58.719 --> 00:41:08.559
What we refer to as soul, consciousness, awareness, presence, life force, whatever name you want to give to this.
00:41:09.440 --> 00:41:10.559
This is who we are.
00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:20.800
Meditation is a practice that helps you and reminds you who you are, who you are not, and why are you here?
00:41:21.280 --> 00:41:32.559
So the practice of meditation is reconnecting with that part of us because that part of us that I'm referring to it as soul or consciousness or heart, that's the part of us that knows the answers.
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:56.800
That's the part of us that knows why it came here through this personality, why it incarnated and it took on this human form, why we chose the family that we were raised in, why we chose the environment that we were raised in, why we chose the trauma, the heartbreaks, the challenges, the obstacles, the people around us.
00:41:57.039 --> 00:42:00.559
That part of us holds the road map.
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:17.280
If we learn how to access the wisdom and the guidance of our hearts, we begin to receive glimpses of our journey, of our destiny, of our role that we are here to play.
00:42:17.599 --> 00:42:19.679
This is what meditation is all about.
00:42:19.920 --> 00:42:23.920
Not about stopping the mind, but about reconnecting with yourself.
00:42:24.239 --> 00:42:28.639
So I'm gonna teach you and I'm gonna show you how we do that.
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:29.199
Okay.
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:32.000
I have a little diagram here.
00:42:32.159 --> 00:42:33.679
Let me know if you can see this.
00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:34.880
You can both see it?
00:42:35.039 --> 00:42:35.280
Yeah.
00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:36.559
The body.
00:42:37.039 --> 00:42:53.519
Everyone is aware of the body, every single person is aware of their body, and the body goes along with the personality, the name, the last name, the age, the gender, the nationality, the roles that we play, and the responsibilities that we have.
00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:58.480
Okay, everybody is aware of this, and less people are aware of the mind.
00:42:58.719 --> 00:43:10.960
The mind is where your thoughts happen, your emotions, your memories, your belief systems, your mindset, your attitude, the psyche, all the activity of the mind.
00:43:11.440 --> 00:43:16.639
Less people are aware of this, the soul, the consciousness.
00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:36.400
This is the journey of meditation, the journey of ascension, the journey of moving our awareness through these techniques, through these practices, all the way up, up, up, up, up, up, up, and to regain the seat of the soul.
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:39.280
This is where the masters live.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:47.039
This is where an enlightened human being lives with awareness, moment to moment, from this perspective.
00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:53.039
This is when we talk about being the observer, being the witness, this perspective.
00:43:53.599 --> 00:43:58.960
So in meditation, what we do is, and I will give you a guided meditation, of course, towards the end.
00:43:59.119 --> 00:44:04.719
Right now, I just want To explain it so that when we close our eyes, we have an idea of what's happening.
00:44:04.960 --> 00:44:08.159
But when we close our eyes, we sit in a comfortable position.
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:11.519
In the beginning of the practice, the position is not as important.
00:44:11.599 --> 00:44:11.920
Okay.
00:44:12.239 --> 00:44:18.159
So you get comfortable, but you want to make sure that the body is comfortable and the body's still.
00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:24.960
Still means that you're going to make an effort to not move one finger, but at the same time you are comfortable.
00:44:25.199 --> 00:44:28.559
That way we remove distractions from the body.
00:44:28.719 --> 00:44:30.960
It's like parking your car in the parking spot.
00:44:31.039 --> 00:44:32.880
That's what we are doing with the physical body.
00:44:33.039 --> 00:44:38.079
We are parking the physical body in the couch, in a chair, wherever, parked there.
00:44:38.320 --> 00:44:39.679
It's not going to go anywhere.
00:44:39.840 --> 00:44:41.360
It'll be right there when you come back.
00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:41.760
Okay.
00:44:42.159 --> 00:44:46.400
So that's what we do, the first step, so that then we can move on.
00:44:46.639 --> 00:44:50.639
And that's the next thing that is moving, the next thing that is active.
00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:58.800
Your thoughts, your imagination, your memory, your to-do list, all the activity of the mind.
00:44:59.039 --> 00:45:01.199
We are not trying to stop it.
00:45:01.519 --> 00:45:07.679
It's about allowing the energy of the moment to move through you.
00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:17.840
So once the body is still and we begin to bring awareness to the mind, once you're here, you watch how a thought comes in and you accept it.
00:45:18.079 --> 00:45:19.119
You welcome it.
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:23.599
I don't care if the thought is a positive thought, it's a negative thought, it's a neutral thought.
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:26.320
You accept the thought and you welcome the thought.
00:45:26.480 --> 00:45:28.719
And then here's where we make an effort.
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:31.760
We make an effort to not comment.
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:39.039
Don't comment, don't react, don't fight it, don't judge it, don't entertain the thought.
00:45:39.199 --> 00:45:43.039
This is a practice that we get better at it little by little.
00:45:43.199 --> 00:45:47.440
And when we don't entertain the mind, the thought comes and the thought goes.
00:45:47.599 --> 00:45:50.400
And then the next thought comes, the next memory comes.
00:45:50.639 --> 00:45:52.800
You practice being centered.
00:45:53.119 --> 00:45:57.360
Centered means that you're here, you're watching, you're just watching.
00:45:57.679 --> 00:45:59.519
You are this one.
00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:04.159
I'm gonna I don't want to say he or she because consciousness has no gender.
00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:17.599
So you are the one that is watching, you are the camera, you are the one that is noticing everything, noticing sensations in the body, noticing thoughts, noticing emotions, noticing memories, noticing the mind.
00:46:18.079 --> 00:46:19.360
You are this one.
00:46:19.599 --> 00:46:29.039
So you make an effort and you're practicing being centered, being grounded, which means you practice not being absorbed by the mind.
00:46:29.519 --> 00:46:33.440
And with time, a thought comes, a thought goes.
00:46:33.599 --> 00:46:41.280
The next thought comes, you don't entertain it, it goes, and you begin to move your awareness and you go up back here.
00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:43.840
This is the garden.
00:46:44.239 --> 00:46:45.760
This is the garden of Eden.
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:47.760
This is the garden of being.
00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:51.199
This is where we become one with God, right here.
00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:57.039
This is when you begin to access the wisdom and the guidance of your soul.
00:46:57.199 --> 00:46:59.679
This is where your intuitions are held.
00:46:59.920 --> 00:47:04.079
This is where your messages come from, your epiphanies, your visions.
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:05.679
This is where all of that is.
00:47:05.840 --> 00:47:09.199
Now, when we open our eyes, the game begins.
00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:11.519
This is practice, just like any athlete.
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:13.760
You go to training and then you have games.
00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:19.679
Meditation is the actual practice where we close our eyes and we are practicing being centered.
00:47:19.760 --> 00:47:21.599
But there's nobody else around me.
00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:23.199
Nobody else in me.
00:47:23.360 --> 00:47:26.320
Once I close my eyes, I don't have anybody around me, right?
00:47:26.400 --> 00:47:30.960
So I can be more focused and practice not getting absorbed with time.
00:47:31.119 --> 00:47:35.760
That's why we start only with five minutes, so that people can practice only with five minutes.
00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:41.840
And in five minutes, once you begin to step behind the mind, all it takes is a moment, like it happened to me.
00:47:42.079 --> 00:47:50.559
A moment, a minute, 30 seconds, 20 seconds for you to experience a peace that you have never experienced before.
00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:55.840
And then when you open your eyes, the practice of conscious living of mindfulness begins.
00:47:55.920 --> 00:47:57.599
And you do the same thing.
00:47:57.760 --> 00:48:00.960
It's about cleaning the mind and cleaning the heart at all times.
00:48:01.119 --> 00:48:10.400
So it's about letting go, which means you accept the present moment as it is, and you learn with practice and with experience to not comment.
00:48:10.480 --> 00:48:13.920
Don't touch your mind, don't touch the mind, don't touch your thoughts.
00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:19.760
But the mind can be there, thoughts can be there, memories can be there, emotions can be there.
00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:31.519
But my mantra, my affirmation, moment by moment, I tell myself let the energy of the moment move through you.
00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:36.559
Let the energy of the moment move through you.
00:48:36.800 --> 00:48:41.039
If it's a moment of frustration, let it move through you.
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:46.480
Don't hold it, don't fight it, don't judge it, don't fix it.
00:48:46.639 --> 00:48:48.159
Let it move through you.
00:48:48.320 --> 00:48:52.320
And as it moves through you, this is what liberation is all about.
00:48:52.559 --> 00:49:00.880
Your consciousness is not getting mixed up with your mind and with your emotions and with everything that is happening there in the mind.
00:49:01.039 --> 00:49:05.039
Liberation means that your consciousness is beyond it, it's behind it.
00:49:05.199 --> 00:49:10.559
So the mind can come and go, come and go, experiences come and go, and you're up here.
00:49:10.800 --> 00:49:13.119
From here, you have a better perspective.
00:49:13.280 --> 00:49:16.880
From here, you deal with life in a better way.
00:49:17.039 --> 00:49:26.000
You make the decisions that you need to make in order for you to live the lifestyle that you want to live to create that beautiful life that you want to experience.
00:49:26.320 --> 00:49:27.360
You said you had a good point.
00:49:27.440 --> 00:49:29.039
Sorry to interrupt you, but no, no, no, no, no.
00:49:29.119 --> 00:49:29.360
Go for it.
00:49:29.599 --> 00:49:32.719
Two quick things I want to remind listeners.
00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:35.039
It's a practice, which means you have to practice.
00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:36.800
It takes time, number one.
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:43.920
And number two, what I loved what you said, which is still a practice in my daily meditation practice, is the non-judgment.
00:49:44.159 --> 00:49:45.920
Things are gonna come up in your mind.
00:49:46.079 --> 00:49:49.519
You are gonna experience things, you are gonna see things, but it's what you do with it.
00:49:49.599 --> 00:49:50.480
Are you gonna hold on to it?
00:49:50.639 --> 00:49:51.360
Are you gonna let it go?
00:49:51.440 --> 00:49:59.039
Are you gonna see it as though you're a witness, or are you gonna pull it in and judge it and feel shamed and all of those emotions?
00:49:59.360 --> 00:50:06.400
I know we are a little pressed for time, but I would love, if possible, if you are able to give us a short example.
00:50:06.559 --> 00:50:10.559
I know you started with something, so a little ender, if possible.
00:50:10.880 --> 00:50:11.840
Absolutely.
00:50:12.079 --> 00:50:13.039
Are we ready?
00:50:13.280 --> 00:50:14.639
We are okay.
00:50:14.880 --> 00:50:23.599
Find your position again, and you're gonna find a position where the body is not going to move at all.
00:50:28.880 --> 00:50:35.920
Once you have found that position, bring awareness to your breath.
00:50:39.039 --> 00:50:48.000
Your breath is your anchor, your breath is your best friend in meditation.
00:50:49.119 --> 00:50:55.519
So throughout these next few minutes, stay connected to your breath.
00:50:57.360 --> 00:51:09.840
That means just lengthen your inhales and lengthen your exhales in slow motion, just a little bit longer than normal.
00:51:20.239 --> 00:51:22.480
Every breath counts.
00:51:23.679 --> 00:51:27.599
Your breath is gonna help you to slow down and to relax.
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:29.599
This is what we want.
00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:35.440
To relax so that the energy can move and we can release it.
00:51:36.079 --> 00:51:43.599
Whatever is stuck in the mind, whatever is stuck in the heart, we wanna help it move up and away.
00:51:46.079 --> 00:51:47.360
So relax.
00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:57.679
So bring awareness to your face and relax your face.
00:52:00.639 --> 00:52:22.559
Relax your forehead, relax your lips, your teeth, your jaw, relax your neck and your shoulders, your arms, your hands.
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:27.599
Just help yourself to relax.
00:52:31.039 --> 00:52:35.039
Relax your chest and the muscles around your heart.
00:52:35.840 --> 00:52:37.599
Relax your stomach.
00:52:41.119 --> 00:52:48.639
Relax your legs and your feet and let the body go.
00:52:53.039 --> 00:52:59.920
The body can go to sleep, but you stay awake.
00:53:01.039 --> 00:53:02.960
Stay awake.
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:11.679
Come back to your breath.
00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:18.880
Slengthen your inhales and lengthen your exhales.
00:53:26.159 --> 00:53:29.440
And now I'm gonna ask you to bring awareness to the mind.
00:53:30.400 --> 00:53:32.800
This is where we need to clean up.
00:53:35.519 --> 00:53:41.920
So you're gonna watch the mind without entertaining it.
00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:46.800
It doesn't matter what comes up.
00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:53.039
I'm gonna ask you to watch how a thought comes into your mind.
00:53:55.920 --> 00:54:00.320
And you're going to accept and welcome that thought.
00:54:01.039 --> 00:54:03.280
It doesn't matter what type of thought.
00:54:04.239 --> 00:54:07.039
Just accept it and welcome it.
00:54:08.079 --> 00:54:10.719
And then here's where you're gonna make an effort.
00:54:11.199 --> 00:54:14.000
You're gonna make an effort to not comment.
00:54:16.159 --> 00:54:18.400
Don't react to the thought.
00:54:19.920 --> 00:54:22.239
Don't fix it, don't change it.
00:54:22.880 --> 00:54:31.280
And you will see that if you don't entertain the mind, the thought just comes and goes.
00:54:32.480 --> 00:54:34.400
Then the next thought arrives.
00:54:35.920 --> 00:54:41.119
Accept it, welcome it, but don't touch it.
00:54:42.159 --> 00:54:46.239
Don't react and see how it moves.
00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:52.559
And we do it again and again and again.
00:54:55.440 --> 00:55:03.280
Practice, not getting absorbed by the mind.
00:55:06.320 --> 00:55:11.199
Instead, bring your attention to your breath.
00:55:12.719 --> 00:55:14.960
Just lengthen your breath.
00:55:15.920 --> 00:55:21.440
Slow down your breath so that you can regulate.
00:55:30.559 --> 00:55:44.400
Just rest right here a couple of minutes to breathe and do nothing.
00:55:52.239 --> 00:56:01.920
Just give yourself permission to breathe and breathe for a couple of minutes.
00:56:29.599 --> 00:56:31.760
Don't let go of your breath.
00:56:34.880 --> 00:56:37.039
Lengthen your inhale.
00:56:38.800 --> 00:56:40.880
Lengthen your exhale.
00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:47.440
And this is how we clean up the mind.
00:56:48.239 --> 00:56:55.440
We let the thoughts come, but we don't comment, we don't react, and they move on.
00:56:57.840 --> 00:57:07.840
And we are allowing that divine energy that we are to flow, to move freely.
00:57:34.079 --> 00:57:41.599
So we can start moving our hands, we can start moving our toes.
00:57:43.440 --> 00:57:45.599
We're gonna begin to come back.
00:57:46.239 --> 00:57:55.840
You can start deepening your breath, and whenever you are ready, you can open your eyes.
00:57:56.880 --> 00:57:58.239
Welcome back.
00:57:58.719 --> 00:58:00.320
That was so nice.
00:58:00.719 --> 00:58:07.760
That was so nice to go in, and I think it was very helpful to have the reminder to slow down the breath.
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:21.119
I notice in my practice that sometimes where I have a hard time is it's you know, you want to get to the point where you're probably not focusing too much on the breath, but the breath is a great anchor to help keep you grounded.
00:58:21.519 --> 00:58:24.880
The breath is there whenever you feel like you're getting lost in the mind.
00:58:25.280 --> 00:58:25.599
Okay.
00:58:25.920 --> 00:58:28.719
Once you have practice, you let go of the breath also.
00:58:28.880 --> 00:58:29.199
Yeah.
00:58:29.360 --> 00:58:36.079
Okay, but the breath is there, especially when we're talking about beginner stages to learn how to meditate.
00:58:36.400 --> 00:58:47.519
Yeah, all you have to do is breathe for five minutes, and you will see how that reduces inflammation, reduces stress, reduces tension, reduces everything.
00:58:47.840 --> 00:58:53.920
We have more chances of being healthier when there's less stress in the mind, less stress in the body.
00:58:54.079 --> 00:59:07.920
So this is just another practice in the beautiful wellness and healing industry that is going to allow us to remove the energy that doesn't belong to the life that we want to create.
00:59:08.239 --> 00:59:09.599
That was really beautiful.
00:59:09.760 --> 00:59:14.000
Thank you for giving us a little bit of a foray into your world.
00:59:14.559 --> 00:59:22.639
For those of you who are listening and watching, like any practice, it takes time, it takes patience, but it starts with starting.
00:59:23.199 --> 00:59:33.199
And I appreciate you helping to support our listeners to realize that it doesn't have to be as overwhelming or as scary as some people make it out to be.
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:35.280
How did you feel, Rima, with this?
00:59:35.760 --> 00:59:39.119
I mean, the the honest answer is I'm 10 minutes behind.
00:59:39.840 --> 00:59:48.800
I'm very stressed out because I'm in a very my day is way too back to back, which is something I personally am working on is trying to create more space.
00:59:48.960 --> 00:59:56.079
But like many of our patients, it's figuring out how to time manage and how to juggle many things.
00:59:56.159 --> 01:00:02.000
But I love the practice of meditation and and stillness, and I think that it is so helpful.
01:00:02.159 --> 01:00:07.920
And exactly as you said, it's about starting, and sometimes you only have two minutes, and that is okay.
01:00:08.320 --> 01:00:08.960
Exactly.
01:00:09.199 --> 01:00:09.679
Exactly.
01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:12.480
You only have 30 seconds and that's okay.
01:00:12.719 --> 01:00:19.840
So Carlos, I believe people can find you on Instagram at is it sanctify your thoughts.
01:00:20.239 --> 01:00:24.800
Yeah, so it's right now under my name, which is Carlos Diaz Vidrio.
01:00:25.119 --> 01:00:31.280
I will share it with you, of course, if anybody wants to reach me, because this is this is courses that I teach.
01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:39.679
It's not only the action of formal meditation closing your eyes, but there's a lot of theory behind it that is as important as the practice.
01:00:39.760 --> 01:00:42.880
So we can combine it and again it becomes a lifestyle.
01:00:43.119 --> 01:00:43.519
Amazing.
01:00:43.599 --> 01:00:48.719
And they can reach out to you there if they want more guidance or more information about your retreats.
01:00:49.039 --> 01:00:49.679
Absolutely.
01:00:49.920 --> 01:00:53.760
And how we like to end our sessions is with words of gratitude.
01:00:53.920 --> 01:00:56.880
So, Carlos, what are you grateful for at this given moment?
01:00:57.199 --> 01:01:05.199
I'm so grateful for you both to give me the opportunity and the platform to be here to share a little piece about meditation and the journey.
01:01:05.360 --> 01:01:07.679
So I'm just super thankful for this, for you two.
01:01:08.079 --> 01:01:08.800
I appreciate that.
01:01:08.960 --> 01:01:17.599
Yeah, I'm I'm grateful to have these reminders that there's never a perfect time to start something new than right now.
01:01:18.960 --> 01:01:27.599
And I'll say I'm grateful to be busy because frankly, I've created a life that I wanted and I've created a real career.
01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:32.079
And I'm really grateful for that because 10 years ago I didn't have them.
01:01:32.719 --> 01:01:50.159
And so I'm super grateful to be in the position of how to time manage and to have this platform and have access to wonderful humans like both of you, who are you know trying to just put wellness and mindfulness and stillness at their minimum.
01:01:50.400 --> 01:01:59.280
Of course, I can't believe we've never crossed paths of the pearl uh exists there many times, and you know, the being is lost and becoming.
01:01:59.599 --> 01:02:00.559
Yes, yes, it is.
01:02:03.360 --> 01:02:07.840
I love that phrase and that is lost and becoming.
01:02:08.400 --> 01:02:08.800
I love it.
01:02:08.880 --> 01:02:09.280
I love it.
01:02:09.360 --> 01:02:11.280
I'm sure we'll cross paths at some point.
01:02:11.519 --> 01:02:11.920
Yes.
01:02:12.159 --> 01:02:13.599
Thank you so much, Carlos.
01:02:13.760 --> 01:02:14.960
Really, really appreciate it.
01:02:15.199 --> 01:02:16.159
Oh, you're so welcome.
01:02:16.320 --> 01:02:19.679
Thank you, both of you, and have an amazing rest of your day.
01:02:20.079 --> 01:02:22.079
Thank you so much for listening today.
01:02:22.159 --> 01:02:30.800
And always remember, practice gratitude, give a little love to someone else and yourself, and remember you are not alone.
01:02:31.039 --> 01:02:34.719
Find us on Instagram at fertility underscore forward.
01:02:35.119 --> 01:02:44.800
And if you're looking for more support, visit us at www.rma ny.com and tune in next week for more fertility forward.