How to Command Any Room Without Faking Confidence | Myles Usher Doyle

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And let's be honest, if you don't embrace your voice, you're just going to drift into the background.
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You can run the room when it's your business.
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Numbers, decisions, the hard call, you got that.
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But put you in front of a room with nothing but your own voice, and suddenly you get quiet.
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So you told yourself a story.
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I'm just not a natural speaker.
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I'm just not a natural speaker.
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Most people assume that presence is something you're born with, like we said a moment ago.
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I don't think it is at all.
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Miles Usher Doyle coaches people out of that story for a living.
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And he's the guy that I hired to fix mine.
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And here's the part that got me.
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He says the reason it terrifies you isn't actually the speaking.
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It's that you think the room is judging you.
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It isn't.
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People aren't judging you for you.
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They are listening and waiting for the story you're going to tell.
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This one's about the voice that you were never taught to use and what it opens up in your life the second that you do.
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The best part for me, Miles and I will get to unpack my performance as a podcast host later.
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I'll be sure to keep you posted.
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Enjoy this one, guys.
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Miles, what do people assume or get wrong about their relationship with their own voice?
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Top question there, Josh.
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I think one of the things that people do get wrong is that they think if they do train their voice, then they lose a sense of themselves.
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a sense of authenticity is stripped away from that, which is peculiar because you probably wouldn't think about that if you were learning drum lessons or guitar lessons.
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You wouldn't think, oh, but if I do lessons, I'm going to lose my natural edge.
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You think, well, no, you're not at all.
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You're just going to enhance what is there.
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So I think the sense of it being a trainable thing
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instrument, which is what it is, is something that people get wrong fairly often.
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They think, this is my voice and there's no way I can improve or change it.
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You know, people usually speak the way they do because they have spoken in that particular fashion for a long period of time.
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And with some light tweaks or some major tweaks or some different ways of thinking about it, it can really step into a new dimension and get a different color to their tone.
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All right.
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I want to unpack that a little bit, but I think it's worth mentioning that you and I have been working together for a couple of months now on this exact thing.
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Yeah.
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And my producer actually asked me, and he's going to probably see this as he's editing this episode, but he asked me, he said, is your voice going to change?
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He said, are you going to, you know, just don't lose your authenticity, right?
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Don't sound too much like you're performing.
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Because I think the natural assumption, Miles, is that when you work on something as powerful as your voice, you're being trained to talk in a way that you don't normally talk.
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How would you respond to that?
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It's a common point that comes up quite a bit.
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And I think it's a real barrier for people who want to improve their presence, their general public speaking skills, or just to be a bit more authoritative and to take a bit of command of their voice from that sense there.
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And I remember you and I spoke about this in our very first call.
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It's not my job to change the way you speak.
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It's my job to enhance what's already there.
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Because you're quite right and your producer is on the money, you know, thinking that we don't want to lose any part of you.
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But I'm not giving you a whole new character to play.
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I'm just giving you a different way to think about the way you use your voice.
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And if you have just been stuck in a certain manner for a long time because of the environment you work in, the position you're in at work, the social group you're with,
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That your voice has just been trained to stay in that particular pattern.
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It's just got used to being there.
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It's a bit like the sedentary person who sits all day at their job, gets in their car, drives home, gets out of their car, sits down, watches telly, goes to bed, repeats that process.
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For that person to go to the gym for the very first time.
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It moves them out of a state into another one.
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So it's going to feel different.
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Of course it is.
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But that difference is good because then you can embrace what that change could look like and lean into that particular area.
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So it's a really good point to bring up because I don't want, I remember saying to you, I don't want to make you podcast presenter 2.0.
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I want you to be Josh speaking at his best on a brilliant day.
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And what does it mean to get into that position?
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And what do I need to do to step into that position?
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In the same way, if somebody wakes up in the morning and I perhaps live alone, and their first call isn't until midday, and the first time they use their voice is on that call at midday, they're not going to be operating at their best.
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So their voice might not get into a good rhythm until later on in the afternoon.
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So it's a trainable skill.
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It's a trainable muscle.
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And it's looking at it in that way to move from that sense of, I don't want to take anything away from me.
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I just want to find what my level is, find what that neutral point is, and increase the effort level depending on whatever circumstance I find myself to be in.
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Because we've all got to find ourselves in positions to persuade, to impress, to entertain, to be open about our emotions, and ultimately to be heard.
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So it's keeping those points there and recognising that it's, I'm not changing the way you speak at all.
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I'm just enhancing what's already there.
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And help me understand, I mean, listen, I understand, but help my audience understand a little bit more about what does that mean?
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Does that mean adding more tactics onto what you're doing every day?
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Does that mean removing something that you might not be doing?
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I mean, how does that present in the way that you teach?
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Yeah.
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So we take a massive step back and we recognize that the way we use our voices is the way we
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inform the world on our story.
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It's the way we emote to the world.
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It's the way we tell and telegraph our emotions to the world.
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And I think people need to be reminded of this at various points, especially in this era of digital and social media.
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It encourages us not to use our voice.
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It definitely encourages us not to speak particularly well.
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But it really encouraged us to keep the sound back.
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I could just send you a text, Josh.
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I needn't call you.
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I could send you a message on Instagram.
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I needn't call you.
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But that is where that connection happens.
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Humans relate to humans.
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And this is where everything breeds and starts from.
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The story starts from here.
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from that relationship there, when we recognise that not only that we have a voice, but the power of that voice and why it's important to use.
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How you can tell your stories, how you can inform somebody that you really like them or to tell somebody that, you know, this isn't quite the job for me or to talk about getting a raise or to discuss anything, you know, ordering food at the
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But again, people have been encouraged to not use their voice in that way.
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So then when we're looking at what it means to have a speech coach with somebody, it's to find those points.
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And as you say, find some different tactics, different strategies and techniques to actually recognise that you have a voice and indeed you have something to say and you have something to put out into the world.
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and then grow from that particular perspective?
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Really good questions.
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And it really encourages a lofty answer sometimes.
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But I do think that people's relationship with their voices has just been lost over the past years.
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or 15, 20 years, I'd say, ever since social media reared its unavoidable head around the door, we've forgotten lots of things.
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We've forgotten how powerful our voices are, how intricate our stories are, and also our relationship with the written word, which then translates very neatly into the spoken word.
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Yeah.
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And thanks for saying that I ask questions that result in lofty answers, because I pride myself on that.
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It's really important to bear in that, because as I say, people have forgotten this relationship and how powerful their voices are.
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And let's be honest, if you don't embrace your voice, you're just going to drift into the background.
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No one's going to employ the person who can't hold eye contact for longer than a second.
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No one's going to want to engage with that person.
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Therefore, that story is lost.
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And that's where isolation and loneliness is really bred from that position.
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So it's super important that people just re-recognise or take a step back and go, yeah, actually, I do have something to say.
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What I have got to say is valid to put them in that particular sphere.
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Isolation and loneliness, that's deep from how do I improve my speech to what the result of me not doing it is.
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I think it speaks a little bit to the power of exactly what you're talking about and how people want to be seen.
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So in your work with the people you work with,
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what is it that they normally want?
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What is it that they're coming to you for?
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I mean, what is it that they say they're coming to you for?
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And what is it that they're actually coming to you for?
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Yeah, great question again.
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So people usually come with a sense of, I want to improve my speaking skills is a piece of feedback, I guess, a lot.
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And of course, that takes a lot of unpacking.
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That's the sense of, okay, what do we mean by that?
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Can we be a bit more specific?
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And that would then lean into,
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I use a ton of filler words.
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I struggle with eye contact.
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I want to bolster my confidence.
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I want to be better at telling stories.
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I want to really, really be an engaging speaker in a room.
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And because it's one of the big fears, public speaking, it's up there with spiders and heights.
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Way before death, public speaking creeps in.
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So people are more scared about speaking in front of people than actually dying.
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So it's that fear there, which then makes people think, okay, well, I do use filler words a lot, or I've noticed this, or I've noticed that.
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And we can completely work on those.
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I can completely do that.
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That's absolutely fine.
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And we can look at some strategies and techniques to really work those points.
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But the wider sense is a mindset shift, as we just discussed, with their relationship with their voice.
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Noticing that it's a muscular sensation and there is a focused prep to get into a better state of ourselves, finding that point of neutrality where we can sit quite neatly and grow from there, as opposed to starting way down here and warming up throughout the day.
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We can hit the ground running from here.
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We can really embrace the world in the same way that going for a walk every morning is going to improve your day.
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Whatever happens.
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Your day will not be worse through going for that 10-minute walk before you log on to do your work.
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So the mindset shift is the big secondary factor after the more technical, more specific filler words, eye contact, posture.
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mumbling people can't hear me i speak too quickly those sorts of points there so that's the entry level but the output is usually this change in mindset what is the number one thing that people usually come to you for
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filler words, filler words.
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Let's talk about filler words for a second.
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And, or my favorite, right.
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Like, like is the big one.
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Likes the big one.
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But also there's, um, there, as he says, doing, um, there's literally and basically a hundred percent.
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That's starting to be a bit of a slight filler word.
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in a way.
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So it's definitely, that is a prime point to work on when people come speak to me on the first instance.
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You know, I use a ton of filler words.
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I want to get rid of them.
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And this could be somebody who's starting out doing a podcast, say, and they have just watched back their first episode and they've suddenly realised that every other word is um, ah, and like.
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And once you hear one, you're going to hear them all.
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So that's it.
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Filler words is definitely the number one point.
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Okay.
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Do you have any topical, as I say, do you have any topical tactics that somebody could use right away, like take away from this podcast that could help them every day or notice or eliminate these filler words?
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Take a moment before you start the sound.
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Before you start a sentence, take a moment.
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So take a beat rest, take two second pause, just hold the silence for a moment.
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and then start the sound.
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It's that point there when people throw themselves into sentences far too quickly, they box themselves in and it's almost as though their brain can't keep up with their tongue and the brain will just throw these filler words to try and slow you down.
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So just by taking a second or two second pause before you start to speak,
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is the way to do it.
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And if you think about it, that's quite a good way to answer any question that someone asks you.
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Because you want to think of a good response.
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You want to consider that question.
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And you want to give the best response that you can to make the
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person who's asking the question, the host in the podcast, the interviewer, the person on the first date, make them feel appreciated that you're thinking about your response.
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You're not just throwing yourself in.
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And when we do throw ourselves in, that kicks up a massive sense of lack of confidence because we then talk a lot.
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And we talk in very, very long sentences that just never, ever end until you run out of breath and have to go to start again.
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So the ramifications of fiddle words are wide.
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And when you can start to look to eliminate them or to put them in a bit more control, you know, I don't mind too much if I hear the odd um and ah.
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OK, if I'm hearing them every other word.
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there hangs the problem.
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But if I'm hearing it every so often, then sometimes it's okay, it's all right.
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Sometimes it's quite natural.
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But there are definitely techniques to iron them out.
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And just by stopping before you start is a great thing to do.
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You know, that's a really good point, being okay with a couple of them here and there.
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I think it almost humanizes the conversation a little bit because I will go back and watch the game tape of me talking sometimes, as you know.
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Yeah.
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And of course, I'll identify where these filler words are when I do that.
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But I will say when it's 100% polished and there is not a single filler word in there, it almost gives an element of, I don't want to say performance, but, you know, because that's what I'm trying to do.
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But rehearsal?
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Maybe?
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Yeah, it can do.
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I take your point.
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It can certainly look that way sometimes.
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It really can.
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And if I'm working with somebody who's very acutely aware that they use lots of filler words, I don't want them to beat themselves up when they say the word like or mispronounce an arm or an are every so often.
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Because to go back to your earlier question, the other elements that people take away from me
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when they work with me, is that we'll be looking at some specific requirements, what they want to look at and working with their voice, usually because it forms part of their corporate life, their podcast life, or their work life in general.
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But the secondary thing to always remember is that it's going to affect your social speech as well.
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And if it didn't, I would be worried sometimes.
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because I never ever want to say, okay, Josh, we're going to work on your podcast voice today.
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Then tomorrow we're going to do your Monday morning work briefing voice.
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And then we're going to do your midweek briefing work voice.
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It's not like that at all.
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It's all Josh.
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This uses an example.
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It's all Josh.
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There's a slight change in vocal effort level, depending on the environment you're in and the audience that you have.
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So if we think our corporate speech is our A game,
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and your B game is your social speech, and they operate down here, they're both going to move.
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The dial is going to shift in both sections.
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And you may have sensed this with our coaching so far.
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You may not have done, because we're still sort of in the early days.
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We worked together for a couple of months.
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We're still sort of in the early days of this relationship.
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So that's always a good one to consider, right?
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that the B game is definitely going to be as affected as the A game, as it should, you know, it's that easy.
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Yeah.
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And I will say, too, and I've mentioned this to you before, that what I came to you for was to work on some very specific things.
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What I didn't anticipate is that spillover into my everyday life in bettering my communication with my kids and my family and, you know, my wife and even my colleagues.
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You know, I do a lot of...
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corporate speak type of things but it's the one-on-one conversations that I wasn't necessarily trying to improve but improved as a result you know and I say that because I want the audience to hear how important it is that when you work on something like your voice that it does translate into every area of your life in a positive way yeah yeah exactly right and it's
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You're right.
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You create the mood sometimes with the way you use your voice in any room.
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You can really impact and change lots of things.
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And this idea of starting and stopping the sound is something that I'm really fixated on.
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What happens before you start and when should I stop?
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When should I throw in that period at the end of a sentence?
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It's a tricky one.
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Because people are under sometimes a misconception, the more they speak, the more intelligent they're going to appear.
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And the more impressive they're going to appear.
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And in my experience, it's usually the flip reverse of that.
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Because the person who talks a lot, the nervous person talks a lot, the timid person talks a lot, the guilty person talks a lot, the over-confessing child who broke the vase in the next room talks a lot.
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And all that happens is the audience can't maintain that level of information.
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I'm just going to switch off because I can't maintain all this insight that's being thrown at me.
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So if I'm working with a new founder, for example, who's got wonderful products and they're doing a keynote or they're doing some pitch meetings, they'll be super excited about their product.
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They'll talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk about it and won't give me the opportunity to absorb this level of insights and education.
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And I need those commas and I need those periods for me to register what's going on.
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But then the speaker needs that to think about where they're going next with their story.
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As you and I have spoken about before, it's baking in that vocal elbow room for everyone.
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Yeah.
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And I don't know about you or anybody listening, but I need that elbow room, not only in my speech, man, but in my life.
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And so when I started working on stuff like this, the space that had opened up in the conversations that I was having was immense.
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And I think that's important for everybody to hear because, you know—
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I talk to a lot of high performers, CEOs, business owners, and so we all know what it feels like to not have space, to be piled on top of, to be carrying seven pounds of water and five-pound buckets everywhere we go.
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But we never think that it's within our own speech and within our own communication that we're carrying that as well.
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And so I just, I think it's important to name my experience in this and the relief that I feel after being able to properly use commas and periods as stupid as it sounds.
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It can read, right?
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But it's different when you're speaking in the same manner.
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It is.
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And you'll find sometimes when you're speaking socially, right?
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like to your best friend over coffee or out for dinner with your wife or partner, you will use the natural grammar and punctuation that happens in speech.
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But why is it and what happens in that journey from that social interaction to that person talking to a room at work in a meeting or an interview for a potential new job or something else?
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What happens within that journey for that experience to be forgotten and those commas and periods to just be absent?
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Mm-hmm.
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So I always like to marry those two worlds much closer together.
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And again, any of your listeners on here, when they're thinking about doing a presentation at work, remove the word presentation from your vocab and just think of it as a conversation.
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Make it social, and then you'll naturally use the grammar and punctuation that you and I would use, Josh, if we went for a coffee together.
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Okay?
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I won't be just talking at you in that sense.
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I will want to pause with a comma and a period because I don't know what I'm going to say next socially.
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I'm not sure what the script is.
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I've got a vague idea where I want to go with this sentence.
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I hope it makes sense.
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You know, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.
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But that's the beauty of language, right?
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The beauty of conversation.
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So I need to think about where I want to go with the story.
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Now, the irony is when I'm in that work meeting, I probably prepped that presentation so I know the script.
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I've done half the work.
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But the way I'm delivering it is not in the way that the room is going to digest what they're hearing.
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So it's a really topsy-turvy world, this, where we find ourselves and we think, oh, hang on a second, what's going on here?
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So when we were talking at the beginning of this podcast about the relationship with one's voice, this is a good place to explore that relationship and what it should be by remembering and recognising what happens when you have a good conversation.
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And even if you're somebody who is quite timid or shy,
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We can all recognise and we all know that one conversation that we've had with our best friend talking about our favourite film on a one-on-one situation.
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It feels good to have a good conversation.
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It feels amazing.
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It's a brilliant trade of ideas and exploration of stories and narrative.
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So we know what that feels like.
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So can I take an essence of that and put it into another story and...
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It just so happens I'm in a boardroom in a suit and I've got lots of important people around the table.
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Can I take an element of that to pepper into that environment?
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Yes, you can.
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Of course.
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So once you've jumped over that hurdle, it's a massive sense of, oh, wow, OK, relief.
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I can do this.
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It's occurring to me now that you teach performance while also warning against performance.
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Yeah.
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So you walk a fine line, too.
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They talk about topsy-turvy.
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Like, it's got to be very difficult to walk that line for you as a coach and getting people to understand, you know, what it is that you're trying to accomplish.
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I want to move into a section that I keep hearing from you.
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I don't know if it's – I think I'm just picking it up.
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But you're speaking a lot about what to do if, what to do when.
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If you have trouble doing this, there's an underlying element of fear here.
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You mentioned nervousness a couple of times, and I want to lean into that.
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I want to get your kind of philosophy and outlook on what fear—let me rephrase that—how fear plays into communication.
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What does it do to someone?
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Yeah, it's a great, great point, this one, because as we said before, it's one of those fears, spider's heights, public speaking, way before killing yourself or dying.
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It's way before that.
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It's usually because there's a sense of judgment about it.
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When you stand up in front of a room to speak, be under no illusion.
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It's a very exposing place to be.
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Very exposing.
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Yeah, it's hugely vulnerable and you feel very vulnerable because it's just you against the world.
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You can't hide behind a screen.
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You can't hide.
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If you don't have a lectern, you can't hide behind that.
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You can't hide behind a colleague.
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It's just you.
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So the judgment point feeds into that fear because people are fearful of what people think about them.
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And I always say most people hate themselves.
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They haven't got time to judge you.
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So it's remembering this point and also recognising that the room isn't judging you as the entity of you.
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They're not sitting there and going, OK, Josh is wearing a T-shirt, it's navy, yeah, his beard comes round here, yeah, it's a bit grey here, he's got some headphones in here, he's standing like that, his trousers are that colour.
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People aren't, they're not doing this.
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They're really not.
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But if you meet people with the fact that you think they are doing this, you're just going to go in an ever decreasing circle and nothing's really going to move.
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And I think lots of people experience this on a daily basis, unfortunately, and especially if you're doing your very first public speaking engagement or speaking at work.
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When I first started coaching, the main thrust of my clients were people doing wedding speeches.
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Because lots of people doing a speech at a wedding, they've never spoken in front of people at all, ever.
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And they've got zero experience of doing it.
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And then they find themselves speaking in a very high stakes environment.
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With a story that they haven't rehearsed.
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They rehearsed it up here, but nowhere else.
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And we all sound fantastic in our heads.
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We're the greatest orators known to man.
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We all sound like Churchill up here.
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So...
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That was a really interesting exercise to work with those people and think, OK, right, let's just see where we are.
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People aren't judging you for you.
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They are listening and waiting for the story you're going to tell.
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So a strategy, again, thinking about your listeners here, a strategy there is.
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is to take the focus off you and to put the focus into the story.
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Why are you doing the story today?
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Josh, that great question you and I asked ourselves in our early sessions, why am I talking?
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Why can't this just be an email?
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Why can't I print this speech out and give it to people to read on the train on the way home?
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find that motivational edge for you with why you're doing it, and you will then instinctively put your engagement into the story.
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And therefore, you are taking the focus off you, again, sort of talking in topsy-turvy terms here, but I'm taking the focus off me and putting it into the story.
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If I can then put my engagement, my focus into the story, and also my focus into the audience I'm talking to,
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These are the building blocks now to start to create a more effective storyteller.
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Give me an example of the answer to your question of why am I talking?
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Great.
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Yes.
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So this is a really, really good one.
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And it takes a while to find the motivational points of why we're talking.
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So if you're doing a speech at work or a presentation at work,
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Think about why you're doing it and what the details are of that particular story.
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So it could be that you're presenting back to your team at work a project that you just delivered.
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And this project didn't go particularly well.
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But you got what you wanted at the end of this project.
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It served its purpose, but the project didn't run in a particularly good manner.
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So the reason why you're telling that story is that you don't want the rest of the room to make the mistakes you did and your team did so they can have a much better existence at work.
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So in one sense, you're changing someone's life in the room because you're going to make that experience for them slightly easier and easier.
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or slightly streamlined.
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So you're doing a positive change of the room.
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Now, sometimes it's quite hard to find the motivation of a speech.
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So I always say, start broad, and then shave it down where you can.
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So the motivational point could be, listen to me, this is going to change your life.
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and then rein it in back from there if you need to.
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And sometimes thinking in a broad sense will then move the speaker to think about their delivery in a slightly different way.
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Because it's quite rare you get somebody speaking at work talking about a project and they say, yes, this project came in under time and under budget, it was all great.
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And we sit there in the audience thinking, oh, fantastic.
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Why did I need to hear about this?
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Did it all go well?
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Really?
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Okay.
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What was the point of that delivery?
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Now, usually there's something else going on there.
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There could have been a hiccup, some timing issues.
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If you're working with some talents, they weren't well briefed.
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You're working with a new supplier, they weren't well briefed.
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Your timing plan was out slightly because of an incident with the weather or something.
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So there's elements to think about there.
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There's an educational point to what people need to do to change the next time they do them.
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And again, we know this.
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I go back to our storytelling session, you and I, Josh, were thinking about why we tell good stories and how we know good stories and our relationship with narrative.
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Yeah.
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Talk about fear.
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That was one of my favorite sessions with you because it was so challenging for me talking about storytelling.
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So let's keep pulling on this thread of fear for a minute.
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What is so scary about storytelling?
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Some people can do it naturally.
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Some people I shared with you, I have people around me that it's just natural.
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You think they should be sitting around a campfire every day just telling these incredible stories that they have.
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Whereas somebody like me feels incredibly uncomfortable about.
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telling these stories for whatever reason.
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It's not that they're untrue.
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It's not that I even think that I can't tell them well.
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There's something else.
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There's a barrier there.
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What might that be?
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I think sometimes it's just not getting the reps in enough.
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I think it's a pure sense of repetition.
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So the people who are, I don't think anyone's born a natural storyteller.
400
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It's definitely something that's learned and remembered from childhood.
401
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And people just bring it with them.
402
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And they recognize this relationship with literature and reading and why they like that book.
403
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And sometimes it just takes a pure piece of analysis to take a massive step back and go, that was a good film, but why did I enjoy it?
404
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Why did I enjoy watching that film?
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Why did I enjoy reading that book?
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Why do I enjoy listening to that particular song?
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What is it?
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And once you've gotten over, I like it because it was good, which is never an answer, or I like it because it sounds nice, which is sometimes not an answer either, and start to be a bit more bullish with yourself.
409
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I think that's where the fear comes in there because people don't like to be too self-critical.
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on themselves, or they won't seek to go on that journey to think about why they like something.
411
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But as soon as you start to explore the why...
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That's where all the fruits are gathered.
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You think, ah, yes, of course, this was good.
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I like this because I like this.
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And usually you know why you like something, but sometimes you don't like to give your entire reason out there because you might feel a bit silly about talking about it in a very open, artistic way.
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And again, if you're a very shy person...
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you'll be in that particular camp.
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You won't want to say why.
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And I think it's purely to do with judgment and exposure.
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I do think it all comes back to this.
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It all ropes back to that idea.
422
00:36:42.133 --> 00:36:48.221
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually, now that you've...
423
00:36:49.530 --> 00:36:54.854
said that when I was growing up and people would never know this, but when I was growing up, I was incredibly shy.
424
00:36:55.675 --> 00:36:57.156
I was exposed.
425
00:36:57.216 --> 00:36:59.017
I was in the movie business.
426
00:36:59.097 --> 00:37:02.180
I was, you know, acting at a young age.
427
00:37:02.240 --> 00:37:03.240
I was forced into this stuff.
428
00:37:03.260 --> 00:37:03.961
I did not want it.
429
00:37:04.321 --> 00:37:05.042
I did not want it.
430
00:37:05.922 --> 00:37:08.043
And, but I was, I was very shy.
431
00:37:08.083 --> 00:37:15.585
And I think I still carry some of that into adulthood, even though I now speak on stage and, you know, talk in boardrooms and have a podcast.
432
00:37:16.105 --> 00:37:22.987
But there is that, that young Josh element of, you know, maybe, maybe I shouldn't say this.
433
00:37:24.687 --> 00:37:28.048
I completely hear you because I was that shy child too.
434
00:37:29.069 --> 00:37:30.689
I was completely like that.
435
00:37:30.869 --> 00:37:31.369
You were.
436
00:37:31.489 --> 00:37:31.749
Yeah.
437
00:37:31.769 --> 00:37:32.050
Yeah.
438
00:37:32.150 --> 00:37:32.550
Oh gosh.
439
00:37:32.570 --> 00:37:32.710
Yeah.
440
00:37:32.950 --> 00:37:33.150
Yeah.
441
00:37:33.170 --> 00:37:33.330
Yeah.
442
00:37:33.350 --> 00:37:33.510
Yeah.
443
00:37:33.838 --> 00:37:36.042
So then tell me how you got here.
444
00:37:36.463 --> 00:37:41.391
Tell me how you got from shy to now I teach people how not to be.
445
00:37:41.769 --> 00:37:46.213
Yeah, I was super shy and quite introverted.
446
00:37:47.354 --> 00:37:49.016
I did have, I wasn't a loner.
447
00:37:49.036 --> 00:37:51.758
I had friends at school, but my friendship was very small.
448
00:37:52.018 --> 00:37:54.661
It was, you know, two or three.
449
00:37:54.761 --> 00:37:55.681
It was that way.
450
00:37:56.482 --> 00:37:59.865
I wanted to get to know people and I was fiercely loyal.
451
00:37:59.905 --> 00:38:00.606
I still am now.
452
00:38:00.686 --> 00:38:05.610
It's a quality that I very much like that I brought with me, that kind of loyalty, of course.
453
00:38:06.151 --> 00:38:08.152
But I would...
454
00:38:09.434 --> 00:38:11.757
I would just want to disappear in a crowd.
455
00:38:13.660 --> 00:38:21.251
I loathed when I was at lower school, so sort of preschool, I loathed that my name was Miles.
456
00:38:22.512 --> 00:38:23.653
way too different for me.
457
00:38:24.934 --> 00:38:26.515
There were no other miles around.
458
00:38:26.535 --> 00:38:28.016
I definitely spoke with a Y either.
459
00:38:28.036 --> 00:38:32.079
And I longed to be called something like Jamie or Lee or something like that.
460
00:38:32.159 --> 00:38:34.601
I thought, oh, this is too different.
461
00:38:34.941 --> 00:38:35.841
This is too different.
462
00:38:35.861 --> 00:38:37.723
There's a target on my back now.
463
00:38:38.763 --> 00:38:40.024
I'm exposed already.
464
00:38:40.084 --> 00:38:41.545
I haven't even walked into the room.
465
00:38:41.565 --> 00:38:43.387
And...
466
00:38:45.061 --> 00:38:49.323
I remember, I've told this story before, but I'll tell this again for your listeners.
467
00:38:49.463 --> 00:39:02.229
I remember at middle school, so I would have been 10, 10 or 11, and one of my tutors saying to my parents at parents' evening, we sometimes forget that Miles is in the class.
468
00:39:04.330 --> 00:39:07.271
And I remember that really hitting me like a...
469
00:39:08.654 --> 00:39:17.018
gut punch, you know, really getting me and thinking, oh no, this is not, this isn't the place to be.
470
00:39:17.038 --> 00:39:21.721
I don't want to be ignored in that sense.
471
00:39:23.241 --> 00:39:25.723
And my parents, fantastic.
472
00:39:25.863 --> 00:39:33.126
I had a fantastic childhood and I loved every moment of this and they very much embraced me liking what I liked.
473
00:39:33.306 --> 00:39:38.169
I was conscious that I was slightly against the swim with others in my peer group,
474
00:39:39.431 --> 00:39:41.653
I liked classic movies.
475
00:39:42.214 --> 00:39:44.696
I like different music and things.
476
00:39:45.037 --> 00:39:48.220
And I'd have to try and hide that at school.
477
00:39:48.240 --> 00:39:49.401
So again, it'd be too different.
478
00:39:49.421 --> 00:39:55.928
So again, that sense of disappearing because I was hiding myself in that moment.
479
00:39:57.327 --> 00:40:00.649
But my parents encouraged me to join lots of groups and I did.
480
00:40:01.510 --> 00:40:07.234
And I joined a group called the Boys' Brigade over here, which is very connected to the Methodist Church.
481
00:40:08.114 --> 00:40:10.135
And we did lots of outings and things.
482
00:40:10.215 --> 00:40:19.081
I went away from home for the first time when I was 11, you know, to the coast and homesick like mad for the first couple of days.
483
00:40:19.402 --> 00:40:20.662
Absolutely homesick like mad.
484
00:40:21.803 --> 00:40:23.985
But then just starting to embrace...
485
00:40:25.090 --> 00:40:32.194
you know, being in my own space and, you know, embracing that sense of exposure, I think, there.
486
00:40:32.615 --> 00:40:48.044
And I remember once going on a camping trip again with the Boys' Brigade and we were going for a walk down the beach and there was a big, like, rock pool and there was a bit of a jump from one rock to the other and all the boys were jumping over and jumping over and jumping over.
487
00:40:48.064 --> 00:40:52.947
And I don't know what it was that day, but I just thought, you know what, I'm going to do this, I think.
488
00:40:53.811 --> 00:40:54.491
And I did.
489
00:40:55.392 --> 00:40:57.053
And I recognised that point when I did it.
490
00:40:57.073 --> 00:40:59.193
I thought, ah, and everyone's going, yeah, well done.
491
00:40:59.214 --> 00:40:59.714
Come on.
492
00:40:59.814 --> 00:41:01.154
And then we just carried on with the day.
493
00:41:02.095 --> 00:41:09.498
But I remember thinking, gosh, if this is what it's like just to put yourself out there a tiny bit, then I need to start speaking up a little bit more here.
494
00:41:10.479 --> 00:41:16.822
And as I went through school, I just sort of opened up a little bit more and wasn't as afraid of what people would think of me.
495
00:41:17.853 --> 00:41:18.994
School's tough, isn't it?
496
00:41:19.014 --> 00:41:20.834
School's a crazy place.
497
00:41:20.914 --> 00:41:25.156
Peer pressure is super heavy, and some people can back up with it really well.
498
00:41:25.176 --> 00:41:26.677
I couldn't.
499
00:41:27.117 --> 00:41:41.064
I used to always try and get to class either early or first so I could sit down as quickly as possible because I never wanted to be in the position of coming in late or late or just coming in on time, but everyone else had me sat down and me walking past them.
500
00:41:43.345 --> 00:41:43.685
And...
501
00:41:45.738 --> 00:41:49.701
I remember another trip which really cemented this point again with school.
502
00:41:49.761 --> 00:41:53.243
We were staying in a dormitory in Wales.
503
00:41:54.264 --> 00:41:59.907
And I forget what sort of time of day it was, but I think it was early in the morning and some of the boys were coming in.
504
00:41:59.987 --> 00:42:03.910
I think there was like an early morning walk that you could have gone on.
505
00:42:04.070 --> 00:42:06.192
And obviously I didn't put my name down for that.
506
00:42:06.532 --> 00:42:11.055
And I remember hearing the boys come in to wake up the people who were going on this walk.
507
00:42:11.928 --> 00:42:15.010
And one of the boys said, who was a friend of mine, said, oh, just be quiet.
508
00:42:15.030 --> 00:42:15.771
Don't wake everybody up.
509
00:42:15.791 --> 00:42:16.751
I don't want to wake Miles up.
510
00:42:17.332 --> 00:42:19.213
And this other boy said to him, who?
511
00:42:20.373 --> 00:42:23.576
Now, he knew who I was, but he didn't know who I was.
512
00:42:23.656 --> 00:42:27.918
He just knew that it was a sort of phantom figure that joined these classes.
513
00:42:29.439 --> 00:42:31.561
And I just knew that something had to change.
514
00:42:31.621 --> 00:42:36.384
And that's when I sort of recognised, actually, I do have a voice.
515
00:42:37.965 --> 00:42:39.146
And I've got something to say.
516
00:42:40.504 --> 00:42:51.391
So that sort of vision point of what would then turn into the business that I'm in now happened way before I thought of the business could be a thing.
517
00:42:51.471 --> 00:42:57.555
So those sort of what's your vision, what's your focus moments in life, I go right back to those school days.
518
00:42:59.076 --> 00:43:05.421
And I suppose my vision is to help people find their voices because I wasted a lot of time.
519
00:43:07.277 --> 00:43:12.160
What changed for you after you began to find your voice?
520
00:43:12.520 --> 00:43:16.062
And I don't mean specifics like this happened on this day.
521
00:43:16.542 --> 00:43:25.648
I mean, what changed inside when you started to get more and more comfortable stepping into your voice and improving your communication?
522
00:43:27.769 --> 00:43:29.230
I just felt that...
523
00:43:32.777 --> 00:43:45.061
I could tell my story in the way that I wanted to tell it and share elements with people who would then resonate with either those feelings or those items that I was sharing.
524
00:43:45.521 --> 00:43:47.761
You know, I saw this film and this was really good.
525
00:43:47.882 --> 00:43:48.942
Oh, I saw that too.
526
00:43:48.962 --> 00:43:57.484
I would recognize that sharing and connection with others and that idea of humans relating to humans.
527
00:43:57.604 --> 00:43:59.385
That really changed.
528
00:44:00.768 --> 00:44:07.616
And that you've got to put yourself out there to get on, be it socially or work-wise.
529
00:44:07.797 --> 00:44:09.379
You know, it's that idea.
530
00:44:09.399 --> 00:44:15.286
And I just became a bit more comfortable with doing that.
531
00:44:16.828 --> 00:44:19.331
You know, for me to say to my classmates...
532
00:44:20.640 --> 00:44:22.941
I watched Singing in the Rain yesterday and I thought it was amazing.
533
00:44:23.641 --> 00:44:35.087
I'd just get, you know, absolutely laughed out of the room and, you know, probably a bit of teasing, you know, I wasn't subject to too much bullying or anything like that, a little bit of name calling and things.
534
00:44:35.187 --> 00:44:39.789
I was very much aware that I wasn't quite part of the gang, a little bit different.
535
00:44:40.950 --> 00:44:45.432
But I just really started to embrace this sense of,
536
00:44:47.208 --> 00:44:53.351
I'm enough as me, and to put myself out there as me is perfectly fine.
537
00:44:55.452 --> 00:44:59.174
I don't need to mark myself against anybody else.
538
00:45:00.815 --> 00:45:10.180
I think when you're trying to disappear into a crowd, you try and copy some of the others who are with you, and that's just not the way to exist at all.
539
00:45:10.821 --> 00:45:12.161
So it takes a while.
540
00:45:12.602 --> 00:45:13.022
It took a while.
541
00:45:13.302 --> 00:45:15.003
And sometimes I might find myself...
542
00:45:16.365 --> 00:45:21.571
meeting that seven, 10 or 11 year old in my mind, sometimes in the week.
543
00:45:22.812 --> 00:45:24.874
And I don't think that's a bad thing at all, Josh.
544
00:45:24.894 --> 00:45:33.664
I quite like it when that happens, because I'd really love to take that little boy out for a cup of tea and just say, don't worry.
545
00:45:34.485 --> 00:45:36.067
Don't worry, kid, you're going to be okay.
546
00:45:37.957 --> 00:45:38.598
You are enough.
547
00:45:38.678 --> 00:45:44.925
And I think that's a very sound thing to try and recall as often as you can.
548
00:45:44.945 --> 00:45:45.506
It's tough.
549
00:45:45.626 --> 00:45:46.888
It's super tough.
550
00:45:48.110 --> 00:45:48.470
It is.
551
00:45:48.671 --> 00:45:54.896
And I think that there's this idea, and it translates differently to different people.
552
00:45:55.036 --> 00:45:55.216
Yeah.
553
00:45:55.476 --> 00:46:02.882
This younger self and some of the things we went through in grade school, you know, we talk about judgment and where that comes from.
554
00:46:03.683 --> 00:46:12.230
But a lot of times, especially with me, what I've noticed is that that younger self, and I resisted it for a long time, you know, I would
555
00:46:13.190 --> 00:46:16.394
that version of Josh would say, don't speak up.
556
00:46:16.455 --> 00:46:18.357
You're not enough.
557
00:46:18.817 --> 00:46:20.299
You will be judged.
558
00:46:20.339 --> 00:46:21.641
This isn't a good idea.
559
00:46:22.402 --> 00:46:26.908
And for a long time, for most of my life, I'll say, I listened.
560
00:46:27.368 --> 00:46:27.448
Or—
561
00:46:29.070 --> 00:46:37.455
I listened and I didn't do the thing or I completely was like, shut up, little Josh, just shut up, which is not the right thing either.
562
00:46:38.216 --> 00:46:46.901
What you said, I think, is wildly important for the audience to take away, which was you took that kid out for a cup of tea, right?
563
00:46:47.301 --> 00:46:55.866
You put weight on what it was saying, what he was saying, and recognized that it came from a place of trying
564
00:47:00.425 --> 00:47:02.729
inherently you're saying, hey, I'm an adult now.
565
00:47:03.711 --> 00:47:04.212
You're good.
566
00:47:04.512 --> 00:47:05.574
Thank you for that.
567
00:47:06.796 --> 00:47:09.581
And now this is how I'm going to move forward.
568
00:47:10.122 --> 00:47:12.406
Yeah, that's a really sound way of putting it.
569
00:47:12.666 --> 00:47:13.347
It really is.
570
00:47:14.244 --> 00:47:24.793
And it's, I think those thoughts and emotions that we have at that age and those instances that happened, you know, not just the ones that I've talked about, there's a bucket load of more I won't go into.
571
00:47:24.813 --> 00:47:26.534
I don't know if it's too much of a therapy session.
572
00:47:27.054 --> 00:47:35.761
It's that idea that encourages you then not to be particularly kind to yourself at a young age.
573
00:47:35.781 --> 00:47:36.462
Yeah.
574
00:47:36.582 --> 00:47:41.707
And even now, as a point of personal development, I'm always reminding myself to be a bit kinder.
575
00:47:41.727 --> 00:47:45.290
When things don't quite go right, just to go, it's okay.
576
00:47:45.430 --> 00:47:45.751
It's all right.
577
00:47:45.991 --> 00:47:46.411
It's okay.
578
00:47:46.832 --> 00:47:47.412
It's okay.
579
00:47:48.253 --> 00:47:48.894
It's okay.
580
00:47:49.915 --> 00:47:50.435
Which is tricky.
581
00:47:50.655 --> 00:47:51.256
It is tricky.
582
00:47:51.316 --> 00:47:57.302
But once you do recognize that, the feeling and result of that recognition is immense.
583
00:47:58.783 --> 00:47:59.464
It really is.
584
00:47:59.504 --> 00:48:00.685
It really does change everything.
585
00:48:02.165 --> 00:48:02.666
Absolutely.
586
00:48:02.786 --> 00:48:17.640
And in bringing this all the way back, the reason we're talking about this is because it's such a controllable part of us, this idea of communication and speech and how we use our voice to be heard.
587
00:48:18.340 --> 00:48:32.229
Like we're talking about all of this now deep stuff because we're in control of this and we can take steps every single day in stepping into this version of ourselves that we have in our head you mentioned before.
588
00:48:32.330 --> 00:48:42.456
So I think it's just worth pointing out to the audience that, you know, the power that this has of just being able to step into your own voice.
589
00:48:43.457 --> 00:48:44.698
I do have a question around...
590
00:48:46.443 --> 00:48:48.207
some of the fear we were talking about before.
591
00:48:48.247 --> 00:48:50.291
Well, we'll keep on that topic for just another minute.
592
00:48:50.973 --> 00:48:55.803
But you mentioned waiting to start the sound.
593
00:48:57.251 --> 00:49:00.213
What about stopping the sound?
594
00:49:00.634 --> 00:49:04.616
Because in my experience, this is where more fear shows up.
595
00:49:05.537 --> 00:49:11.601
The silence after stopping the sound, something you know that I'm working on a lot.
596
00:49:11.641 --> 00:49:12.542
But it's difficult.
597
00:49:12.942 --> 00:49:14.704
I imagine it's not just difficult for me.
598
00:49:14.744 --> 00:49:19.447
It's difficult for a lot of people to sit in that silence one second, two seconds.
599
00:49:19.887 --> 00:49:25.131
It feels like one week, two weeks between sentences, right?
600
00:49:25.211 --> 00:49:25.431
So...
601
00:49:26.552 --> 00:49:33.274
Help me understand where that fear comes from and how somebody might be able to lean into the sound or why they might want to.
602
00:49:33.414 --> 00:49:33.654
Yeah.
603
00:49:33.694 --> 00:49:35.435
And again, it's that fear of exposure.
604
00:49:35.695 --> 00:49:39.896
Once we stop the sound, we encourage the room to pick holes in our argument.
605
00:49:41.056 --> 00:49:42.997
And I think that's why people don't do it.
606
00:49:43.017 --> 00:49:52.340
So if you're not particularly secure in your narrative or your story or you feel underprepared, perhaps for work meetings, you haven't put the prep in.
607
00:49:53.743 --> 00:49:59.165
For you to pause and to give the room the opportunity to come at you, you're just not going to do it.
608
00:50:00.706 --> 00:50:04.707
And the reason why you're not going to do it and the way you're not going to do it is just to keep talking.
609
00:50:05.868 --> 00:50:16.532
And when you keep talking, you over-analyze and you re-explain something you've said in about five different variations and you just keep talking.
610
00:50:17.925 --> 00:50:18.885
keep talking, keep talking.
611
00:50:18.905 --> 00:50:26.607
So the room is lost because they can't maintain those information, or the room got the points when you said it first time.
612
00:50:27.107 --> 00:50:31.448
I don't need five other variations on the points.
613
00:50:31.688 --> 00:50:33.828
Don't try to insult the intelligence of your audience.
614
00:50:33.908 --> 00:50:42.310
If you say something that's monumental, be confident enough to throw in that period and take a step back.
615
00:50:45.903 --> 00:50:46.883
Throw in that period.
616
00:50:47.564 --> 00:50:52.665
Recognize, this is something you and I spoke about before, Josh, that you are the expert in the room.
617
00:50:53.305 --> 00:51:01.408
Therefore, you are open to any conversation or analysis on your idea, your theme or your insight.
618
00:51:01.928 --> 00:51:09.590
You're also not full of yourself enough to know that you know every single answer there is with your question.
619
00:51:10.832 --> 00:51:15.855
All the best coaches and all the best people are pupils first and foremost.
620
00:51:16.115 --> 00:51:17.917
We are all still learning all the time.
621
00:51:17.937 --> 00:51:22.539
So if there's something you don't know, you could say, that's a really, really great point.
622
00:51:23.080 --> 00:51:24.861
I haven't quite got the answer to hand.
623
00:51:26.182 --> 00:51:30.424
If you'd allow me just to go away and research that, I'd love to come back to you.
624
00:51:30.865 --> 00:51:40.431
Or if that's not an option, you could just say, I'm not entirely sure of the response at that point, but if I were to give you an answer, I think I would start here.
625
00:51:41.966 --> 00:51:43.608
And you can usually find something.
626
00:51:45.009 --> 00:51:47.472
Another strategy is you say your insight.
627
00:51:48.854 --> 00:51:51.477
And you think, I don't want to over explain this.
628
00:51:52.498 --> 00:51:53.439
Say your insight.
629
00:51:53.739 --> 00:51:55.141
Then use that magical phrase.
630
00:51:55.661 --> 00:51:59.245
Or in other words, you bring in a neat little metaphor.
631
00:52:00.126 --> 00:52:02.188
And then you pop the period on.
632
00:52:02.749 --> 00:52:03.430
Take a step back.
633
00:52:05.172 --> 00:52:06.312
and carry on with the story.
634
00:52:06.532 --> 00:52:13.954
So you give the room the opportunity to absorb what you're saying and also the opportunity to put the hand up, ask the question.
635
00:52:16.095 --> 00:52:21.776
Stopping the sound, as I said to you before, stopping the sound is way trickier than starting the sound.
636
00:52:24.137 --> 00:52:33.160
Yeah, and I think there's this, you mentioned it, when you stop the sound, you're leaving yourself open to be judged.
637
00:52:33.420 --> 00:52:34.620
We want to sound smart.
638
00:52:36.702 --> 00:52:43.528
And we do that by eliminating the possibility for somebody to question whether or not we are.
639
00:52:43.888 --> 00:52:44.909
Yeah, exactly.
640
00:52:45.129 --> 00:52:54.557
I remember when I was starting coaching, and one of my first clients, and I was just talking at this poor chap, I was just talking.
641
00:52:54.958 --> 00:52:57.380
And I said that phrase, does that make sense?
642
00:52:58.101 --> 00:53:00.743
And he said, I don't think so, but it sounded great.
643
00:53:05.463 --> 00:53:09.908
So, you know, it's a learnable skill, this.
644
00:53:10.149 --> 00:53:11.010
It really is.
645
00:53:11.630 --> 00:53:13.172
When does one stop the sound?
646
00:53:13.833 --> 00:53:14.774
What do I want to say?
647
00:53:14.894 --> 00:53:15.755
Why am I talking?
648
00:53:15.876 --> 00:53:21.022
It's those analytical why questions we need to ask ourselves and be bullish.
649
00:53:22.605 --> 00:53:22.905
Yeah.
650
00:53:24.166 --> 00:53:32.771
You mentioned a magical phrase, which was, in other words, are there any other magical phrases that you can teach us?
651
00:53:33.111 --> 00:53:41.616
Is there any other reframe or is there any other tactic or tool to that vein, you know, that people could use?
652
00:53:42.376 --> 00:53:47.499
I suppose if someone asks you a question and you're not quite sure on your response and you're
653
00:53:52.275 --> 00:53:55.496
That's a really, really great question.
654
00:53:56.176 --> 00:54:01.137
And while you're saying that phrase, you can start to think about what you actually want to say.
655
00:54:01.758 --> 00:54:03.178
So it's a delay tactic.
656
00:54:03.798 --> 00:54:05.439
I wouldn't always encourage it.
657
00:54:06.719 --> 00:54:15.701
But if I'm working with a client and they're doing a live show, which happens often, and there's usually always a Q&A section, this is like Daniel in the lion's den.
658
00:54:16.062 --> 00:54:18.362
It's, oh, my word, what on earth is going to happen?
659
00:54:18.382 --> 00:54:20.723
I'm going to open myself up to the room.
660
00:54:21.738 --> 00:54:26.601
And they're going to sort of throw whatever slings and arrows at you in a positive way.
661
00:54:26.621 --> 00:54:28.442
But you've got to be prepared for this.
662
00:54:29.303 --> 00:54:40.150
And because I work with coaches as well, some of the questions that come from an audience are usually can be very deep, extremely personal sometimes.
663
00:54:41.231 --> 00:54:45.494
So it's just working out what we need to do in that moment to make that person feel listened to.
664
00:54:46.589 --> 00:54:53.193
but also for them to understand that you are processing your response because you've listened to their question.
665
00:54:53.233 --> 00:54:58.377
You're being an active listener, so you're reacting to that.
666
00:54:59.337 --> 00:55:03.720
We never want to have the pre-prepared response all the time.
667
00:55:03.800 --> 00:55:11.125
Sometimes it's quite helpful to have a lean into, sometimes, a strategy to pull on, but I don't want to rely on that.
668
00:55:11.525 --> 00:55:15.048
I don't want to rely on that because we know what it's like
669
00:55:16.322 --> 00:55:22.447
Say you go to a dinner party and you're sat next to somebody who isn't a particularly good active listener.
670
00:55:23.108 --> 00:55:28.652
And they take around the same hilarious gag that they take to every dinner party.
671
00:55:29.233 --> 00:55:30.594
We all know that guy.
672
00:55:30.634 --> 00:55:31.395
We all know that guy.
673
00:55:31.455 --> 00:55:32.135
Oh, my word.
674
00:55:32.155 --> 00:55:33.977
I'd never want to be that chap, but we all know him.
675
00:55:34.617 --> 00:55:38.521
If you're sitting there and you're talking to them, you know they're not listening.
676
00:55:39.261 --> 00:55:49.871
And you are waiting or they're waiting for you to stop so they can crowbar in their hilarious gag or the famous person they met 20 years ago and they're still dining out.
677
00:55:49.911 --> 00:55:51.812
It's very tiresome story.
678
00:55:52.133 --> 00:55:53.554
That's got nothing to do with anything.
679
00:55:54.214 --> 00:55:55.436
So they're not listening to you.
680
00:55:56.421 --> 00:55:58.042
And they're not reflecting anything off you.
681
00:55:58.062 --> 00:56:03.185
They are just blocking your conversation and throwing their piece at you.
682
00:56:03.766 --> 00:56:05.186
And we've all been in that position.
683
00:56:05.527 --> 00:56:09.729
Sometimes we've been the other side and we know what it feels like because we can see the other person's reaction.
684
00:56:10.690 --> 00:56:13.972
So we never want to be that guy at all, ever.
685
00:56:15.488 --> 00:56:23.134
And somebody asked me the other week from my clients, they said, if I wanted to be charming, what's the epitome of charm?
686
00:56:23.154 --> 00:56:27.298
And I said, hold up a mirror to the person you're speaking to.
687
00:56:29.700 --> 00:56:30.761
Ask them questions.
688
00:56:32.582 --> 00:56:37.366
If you do that to them, they will then feel at ease to do the same to you.
689
00:56:37.466 --> 00:56:39.148
Are they actually interested in what you're saying?
690
00:56:40.209 --> 00:56:43.832
And again, you think back to all the first dates you've been on and you just think,
691
00:56:44.835 --> 00:56:46.976
This is not going anywhere at all.
692
00:56:47.617 --> 00:56:51.980
But this person is just talking at me and they're not asking me any questions or listening to what I'm saying.
693
00:56:52.000 --> 00:57:00.025
They're not giving me the room to react, for me to give an offer to see if it's accepted or battered away.
694
00:57:00.826 --> 00:57:02.467
So we know these sensations.
695
00:57:03.487 --> 00:57:05.409
So we know these sensations socially.
696
00:57:05.969 --> 00:57:14.575
We can completely take this into our daily lives and use those strategies that are so embedded in our human existence.
697
00:57:16.047 --> 00:57:16.327
Yeah.
698
00:57:17.289 --> 00:57:22.075
That reminds me of my favorite book of all time is How to Win Friends and Influence People.
699
00:57:23.718 --> 00:57:32.850
And he has a section in there, Carnegie has a section in there where he talks about being interested instead of interesting.
700
00:57:33.071 --> 00:57:33.291
Yep.
701
00:57:34.312 --> 00:57:40.318
And so this plays exactly into what you're saying, how to be charming, hold up a mirror to the other person.
702
00:57:40.838 --> 00:57:48.805
And it's a tactic, or I don't even want to call it a tactic, almost just a way of being that I carry into every room and every conversation I'm in.
703
00:57:48.846 --> 00:57:51.328
So I'm always the one asking questions.
704
00:57:51.408 --> 00:57:55.331
Probably why I have a podcast, Miles, if I'm being honest.
705
00:57:55.412 --> 00:57:56.292
It's definitely helpful.
706
00:57:57.874 --> 00:58:17.065
But that ability to ask questions and then respond accordingly, which is where the speech training comes in, is, and I've found, has been wildly valuable just in the doors that it opens, the people that it puts me in front of, the relationships that it helps me build.
707
00:58:17.645 --> 00:58:21.086
and everything in between, from business to personal to family.
708
00:58:21.706 --> 00:58:27.568
And so I want my listeners to hear this and to take this part of it away, because it's two parts.
709
00:58:28.489 --> 00:58:35.151
And they're equally as important being able to deliver as being able to extract.
710
00:58:36.352 --> 00:58:38.072
Yeah, that's really well put.
711
00:58:38.412 --> 00:58:42.934
You just want to be curious as a human being.
712
00:58:43.912 --> 00:58:45.434
with everything and everyone.
713
00:58:46.235 --> 00:58:51.440
And that's where you can find out about someone's story and what they've done.
714
00:58:51.460 --> 00:58:58.328
You might find out something incredibly emotive and incredibly important.
715
00:58:59.900 --> 00:59:02.181
And it teaches you something about yourself at the same time.
716
00:59:02.281 --> 00:59:14.888
So it's a really, really good thing to do, just to be curious and to listen, just to sit in silence, just to look at a tree for five minutes as opposed to look at your phone.
717
00:59:16.289 --> 00:59:20.011
And again, the turn of phrase these days is to just be.
718
00:59:20.971 --> 00:59:24.253
And I think that's such a powerful tool.
719
00:59:24.993 --> 00:59:27.515
Once you feel comfortable in yourself holding a silence,
720
00:59:29.907 --> 00:59:31.312
then anything is possible from there.
721
00:59:33.283 --> 00:59:42.030
How important, and we're on this topic of listening and questioning, how important is listening in what you teach?
722
00:59:42.290 --> 00:59:51.737
Because you teach people how to articulate, you help people with diction, you help people with storytelling, all of these things that they're exuding from their own voice.
723
00:59:51.777 --> 00:59:53.078
But listening is different.
724
00:59:53.198 --> 00:59:56.421
I imagine it's the other side of the same coin.
725
00:59:57.241 --> 01:00:01.905
So how important is this listening aspect in the things that you teach?
726
01:00:02.377 --> 01:00:15.401
Yeah, hugely important because if you listen to the person you're speaking to or you listen to the room that you're delivering to, you will gauge whether your story is landed or your narrative is going in the right direction.
727
01:00:16.641 --> 01:00:21.882
You can then react to that in the same way you and I talking now.
728
01:00:21.922 --> 01:00:30.505
If I say something that you don't really understand or vice versa, then I feel completely at ease that I can ask you to say, actually, I don't really understand that.
729
01:00:30.525 --> 01:00:31.745
Can you just say that again?
730
01:00:33.363 --> 01:00:40.845
to give you the opportunity to come back at me with a slightly different way of saying what you just said to ensure there's an understanding.
731
01:00:41.225 --> 01:00:54.069
And if I'm delivering to a room and I'm not listening, I'm just talking out the room with my 85 PowerPoint slides behind me, then it can become a very redundant exercise very quickly.
732
01:00:54.349 --> 01:00:56.150
And the audience recognizes this.
733
01:00:57.440 --> 01:01:03.744
Because we know, as I said to you before, Josh, we are audience members more often than we're public speakers.
734
01:01:05.405 --> 01:01:17.672
So we know what it feels like to be sat in a meeting where the chair of the meeting or the presentation isn't particularly effective or hasn't been thought about in a competent way.
735
01:01:18.252 --> 01:01:19.393
And we just check out.
736
01:01:20.813 --> 01:01:23.095
We just take ourselves out of the room mentally.
737
01:01:23.115 --> 01:01:23.435
Yeah.
738
01:01:24.038 --> 01:01:29.360
And we'll come back when there's a change of slide or there's a change in speaker or a change in emphasis.
739
01:01:30.020 --> 01:01:32.941
So we'll be rejoining at a broken moment.
740
01:01:33.241 --> 01:01:41.645
It's a bit like reading a novel and just getting to one page and then taking a massive clump of pages, turning those pages and jumping back into the narrative again.
741
01:01:42.045 --> 01:01:45.306
And you get to the end of the book and someone will say, what was that about?
742
01:01:46.206 --> 01:01:47.707
Oh, it was about a man who...
743
01:01:48.918 --> 01:01:53.840
stole a loaf of bread and then died, which is a very reduced version of Les Miserables.
744
01:01:53.860 --> 01:01:59.123
But it's this sense of just taking chunks out.
745
01:01:59.303 --> 01:02:12.029
And for any speaker, be it professional, be it a conversation, you never want to give your audience your opportunity to not hear what you're saying, nor to come with you on this narrative arc.
746
01:02:12.629 --> 01:02:14.590
So listening is immensely important.
747
01:02:14.610 --> 01:02:17.111
This is a good judge for us to read the room.
748
01:02:18.693 --> 01:02:20.394
What's actually going on at this moment?
749
01:02:21.855 --> 01:02:22.975
Am I actually listening?
750
01:02:24.336 --> 01:02:31.420
And it's a tough exercise, again, with social media, encourages you just to doomscroll, right?
751
01:02:31.740 --> 01:02:34.422
So where we can find these tactics...
752
01:02:35.535 --> 01:02:37.558
And we try and do it at home here.
753
01:02:37.578 --> 01:02:39.840
We don't have the mobile phones in the bedroom.
754
01:02:39.860 --> 01:02:46.048
If we're going to walk in the morning, I'm trying to leave the phone at home and just go out unaided with that.
755
01:02:46.869 --> 01:02:51.135
When I do runs and boot camps and circuits and things, I don't have a watch on.
756
01:02:51.155 --> 01:02:52.757
I don't have any tech.
757
01:02:52.837 --> 01:02:53.518
It's just me.
758
01:02:54.877 --> 01:02:58.559
And just feeling, you know, go through the motions of the body and everything.
759
01:02:58.679 --> 01:03:04.802
It's just me and the usually damp, wet floor and the elements.
760
01:03:05.122 --> 01:03:09.145
And I found that incredibly liberating, incredibly liberating.
761
01:03:09.165 --> 01:03:13.787
So I'm acutely aware that I have my phone with me too often, as I think we all do.
762
01:03:14.527 --> 01:03:21.851
So where we can find these moments to just be and to listen, this is where the magic lies, shall we say.
763
01:03:21.871 --> 01:03:23.232
Hmm.
764
01:03:25.049 --> 01:03:28.619
This isn't something that I've heard you speak on before, but I am curious.
765
01:03:28.699 --> 01:03:29.200
And in.
766
01:03:31.206 --> 01:03:38.572
if it's relevant to what we're saying, where's the intersection between what you teach and persuasion?
767
01:03:39.693 --> 01:03:45.637
I ask this question because when we're up on stage, usually we're trying to persuade.
768
01:03:45.857 --> 01:03:48.159
When we're in a boardroom, that's what we're trying to do.
769
01:03:48.299 --> 01:03:51.061
Sometimes if it's a sales team, that's what we're trying to do.
770
01:03:51.562 --> 01:03:59.848
So although I haven't heard you speak on this in particular in the past, I am curious your perspective on it and how that relates to what you do.
771
01:04:00.200 --> 01:04:03.025
Yeah, they're very close bedfellows, I would say.
772
01:04:03.045 --> 01:04:06.392
I have done some persuasion techniques with people.
773
01:04:06.452 --> 01:04:10.619
If we're working on a sales pitch or something, we will look at some certain elements.
774
01:04:10.680 --> 01:04:11.902
But really...
775
01:04:12.954 --> 01:04:16.535
I don't put too much of a sort of module on it.
776
01:04:17.196 --> 01:04:25.959
It's just something we can consider when we're constructing the story, constructing the pitch deck, for example, or constructing the keynote.
777
01:04:26.799 --> 01:04:34.562
I might in a session play devil's advocate and just ask some questions that they won't be prepared for.
778
01:04:35.222 --> 01:04:40.264
Or if I'm working with somebody who's going into a very difficult meeting or they know it's going to be a difficult meeting
779
01:04:40.864 --> 01:04:48.410
I will say, okay, your worst fear of fears, what are the questions that you're dreading the most from the clients or the audience or the room?
780
01:04:49.952 --> 01:04:51.633
And we'll write them down.
781
01:04:51.653 --> 01:04:53.675
We'll try and exorcise those questions.
782
01:04:54.295 --> 01:05:02.902
And we'll get them up there and we'll go, right, okay, we can't prepare for every single instance because live conversation isn't scripted, thankfully.
783
01:05:04.143 --> 01:05:05.544
So let's just see how we would achieve.
784
01:05:06.488 --> 01:05:11.589
approach these questions and answers and see how that feels for us to talk it out loud.
785
01:05:12.109 --> 01:05:26.892
Because again, the nervous person who rehearses their speech in their head, the fearful person who's going into a tricky situation with the client is going to put everything in their minds and they're not going to work on it.
786
01:05:26.912 --> 01:05:30.033
They'll just hope that, well, they'll hope two things.
787
01:05:30.593 --> 01:05:35.434
One, that question won't be asked or two, the call will be rescheduled to the following week.
788
01:05:38.575 --> 01:05:41.637
And they'll be banking on this one, the latter.
789
01:05:43.778 --> 01:05:48.081
And if it just gets rescheduled, oh, thank goodness, I've got another week to not worry about it.
790
01:05:48.802 --> 01:05:55.606
And so persuasion is sort of meeting things head on and thinking what those areas are of discussion.
791
01:05:55.826 --> 01:05:58.468
Don't do too much on it, but it's a really good point to bring up, Josh.
792
01:05:58.648 --> 01:06:01.470
I definitely dabble around the corners of persuasion.
793
01:06:02.411 --> 01:06:04.092
There are certainly some very good...
794
01:06:04.748 --> 01:06:24.910
persuasion courses and coaches out there but it's a natural bedfellow to the areas that we have addressed thus far and i do have a couple of strategies that we could explore within that area all right cool i was just wondering about that personally so uh thank you i am
795
01:06:26.452 --> 01:06:35.156
Yeah, I am curious also, you know, we've been talking a lot about image, judgment, impression.
796
01:06:36.137 --> 01:06:42.340
What would change, Miles, if everyone stopped trying to impress each other?
797
01:06:44.281 --> 01:06:46.422
Hugely liberating is what it would be.
798
01:06:46.442 --> 01:06:48.423
I think we'd get more of a person.
799
01:06:49.770 --> 01:06:57.474
you get more of an honest response, you get more of a personal response to whatever situation is going on there.
800
01:06:58.034 --> 01:07:03.176
And you get more of the person, you get more of the authentic speech of that person.
801
01:07:03.196 --> 01:07:07.638
So more authenticity is just forced through from that moment.
802
01:07:07.738 --> 01:07:13.521
Because again, I'm embracing this sense of exposure and vulnerability and,
803
01:07:15.583 --> 01:07:23.165
And the mixture of that cocktail is always authenticity because it's just purely you in front of the world.
804
01:07:24.025 --> 01:07:30.046
Now, if you can then marry into that, this sense of, I'm so excited to be here.
805
01:07:30.066 --> 01:07:31.607
I can't wait to tell you my story.
806
01:07:33.487 --> 01:07:39.368
That's going to make for a very, very good or much more effective storyteller because it's more them.
807
01:07:39.628 --> 01:07:42.209
And we like that person who's speaking up there.
808
01:07:43.166 --> 01:07:48.287
We don't like seeing the nervous person who's shuffling around and breaking eye contact and who wants to get off.
809
01:07:48.327 --> 01:07:52.948
Their main motivator is to do this speech as quickly as possible and sit down.
810
01:07:54.949 --> 01:08:00.971
That's their motivator, which is a hopeless motivator just for your listeners not to use that because it's hopeless.
811
01:08:01.531 --> 01:08:02.771
That's not a thing to do.
812
01:08:02.831 --> 01:08:04.231
No good can come from that.
813
01:08:05.332 --> 01:08:07.212
It makes the whole exercise very redundant.
814
01:08:07.312 --> 01:08:09.913
I mean, never want to be a redundant speaker at all.
815
01:08:10.972 --> 01:08:22.135
So if the world stopped worrying so much about what other people thought of them, then I get it's a much happier life for that matter.
816
01:08:22.475 --> 01:08:28.857
And also I get more of that person in the same way that envy is just such a toxic trait.
817
01:08:29.927 --> 01:08:33.211
because it's so false and it forces you into this ditch.
818
01:08:33.611 --> 01:08:35.833
And sometimes people stay in this ditch forever.
819
01:08:36.574 --> 01:08:38.316
You know, oh, they've got that.
820
01:08:38.356 --> 01:08:40.999
They're OK. Well, it's easy for them to do.
821
01:08:41.019 --> 01:08:43.361
You think, no, not at all.
822
01:08:43.381 --> 01:08:44.843
Have you seen that person's life?
823
01:08:44.983 --> 01:08:49.588
It was horrendous from when they were at school and the journey that a person's been on.
824
01:08:49.668 --> 01:08:49.908
So...
825
01:08:50.689 --> 01:08:53.772
I get very exorcised when I hear this from other people.
826
01:08:54.332 --> 01:08:58.216
Or on those rare occasions, and we're all human, we find ourselves thinking about ourselves.
827
01:08:58.776 --> 01:09:07.344
I quickly have to pull myself back and think, no, no, no, no, this isn't the way to be and to live.
828
01:09:08.533 --> 01:09:10.354
It's very suffocating emotion, isn't it?
829
01:09:10.554 --> 01:09:11.495
Envy.
830
01:09:12.075 --> 01:09:12.455
Horrible.
831
01:09:12.595 --> 01:09:13.196
Tell me about it.
832
01:09:13.496 --> 01:09:17.038
And none of us are immune to it as much as we want to say we are.
833
01:09:17.318 --> 01:09:18.499
You know, none of us are.
834
01:09:18.559 --> 01:09:22.501
We're always in those situations where it comes up, it bubbles up.
835
01:09:22.702 --> 01:09:26.184
All right, Miles, what are you still learning about your own voice?
836
01:09:27.384 --> 01:09:29.786
Oh, great question.
837
01:09:33.023 --> 01:09:35.004
I, I'm still learning.
838
01:09:35.504 --> 01:09:43.008
I'm still learning that I do still pack a sentence full of stuff and full of insight.
839
01:09:43.128 --> 01:09:45.109
And I have to let things sit for a bit longer.
840
01:09:45.969 --> 01:09:50.151
I think all coaches at moments have to remember and practice what they preach.
841
01:09:50.251 --> 01:09:53.873
And sometimes that's my Achilles heel, I think.
842
01:09:54.734 --> 01:10:00.800
But it's usually because you know the impact that it can have on someone's life because it's happened to you.
843
01:10:01.380 --> 01:10:06.405
You were that person 25 years ago, so you know what these feelings are like.
844
01:10:07.486 --> 01:10:08.788
And I get quite excited.
845
01:10:09.028 --> 01:10:09.829
I love what I do.
846
01:10:09.909 --> 01:10:11.430
I really, really love what I do.
847
01:10:11.450 --> 01:10:19.338
And I love working with the plethora of people that I get to work with from different corners, not just of the world, but from life as well.
848
01:10:20.505 --> 01:10:25.528
And it's real trees and I sometimes like the excitement of that gets me a bit too carried away.
849
01:10:26.128 --> 01:10:28.049
And I might pack too much into a sentence.
850
01:10:28.089 --> 01:10:33.232
So with what we just talked about with commas and periods, at times I need to do this.
851
01:10:33.932 --> 01:10:41.116
But I'm also still learning the effective ways that I can use my voice in those instances.
852
01:10:41.276 --> 01:10:45.498
Because you've got so much control, you've got more control than you think you do.
853
01:10:47.019 --> 01:10:48.480
It's very powerful magic.
854
01:10:49.868 --> 01:10:57.012
And it bears thinking about, and, you know, I do my vocal warmups and things every morning and hit the ground running.
855
01:10:58.633 --> 01:11:01.414
And I might think, actually, I'm going to try it differently this morning.
856
01:11:01.434 --> 01:11:02.315
I might try and...
857
01:11:04.065 --> 01:11:27.724
start this session like this or see what happens here or I'll start with this phrase or I'll just start with a question as opposed to my usual hello how's it going and just see what happens there so I'm still exploring things and that's the beauty of it we are still learning elements of our voices and reading aloud I need to do more of that I often forget to do this sometimes so reading
858
01:11:36.813 --> 01:11:38.974
What is a question that you wish more people would ask you?
859
01:11:42.716 --> 01:11:44.417
A question more people ask me?
860
01:11:44.477 --> 01:11:48.319
I think, well, we've sort of danced around it, really.
861
01:11:48.439 --> 01:11:58.023
And I think it's, why do some people seem to have presence the moment they walk into a room?
862
01:12:01.805 --> 01:12:05.627
Because I think if you're not feeling particularly confident, you see others being confident.
863
01:12:06.551 --> 01:12:09.796
you think, why do they have that presence?
864
01:12:11.459 --> 01:12:16.067
And I think most people assume that presence is something you're born with, like we said a moment ago.
865
01:12:16.087 --> 01:12:17.409
I don't think it is at all.
866
01:12:17.749 --> 01:12:20.915
I just genuinely do not think you're born with it.
867
01:12:23.466 --> 01:12:29.868
Physical and even vocal presence is the ability to put your attention somewhere other than yourself.
868
01:12:30.508 --> 01:12:34.970
So when I say put your attention into your story, into your audience, it's that reason.
869
01:12:35.030 --> 01:12:36.330
It takes it away from you.
870
01:12:37.730 --> 01:12:47.513
And the people we call charming, charismatic are often simply the people who are fully where they are when they're speaking in the environment that they're in.
871
01:12:48.714 --> 01:12:49.234
They are.
872
01:12:50.354 --> 01:12:52.435
They're there and they know why they're there.
873
01:12:54.217 --> 01:12:55.517
And they'd recognize that reason.
874
01:12:56.157 --> 01:13:20.763
So I think that question there of why do some people have presence the moment they walk into a room is a question I'd love people to ask me because it reintroduces this idea of just taking the focus off you as you and readdresses that focus into what you're saying and how you're saying it.
875
01:13:22.775 --> 01:13:26.498
The story that you're wishing to weave, that's where the focus should be.
876
01:13:27.399 --> 01:13:28.440
It really should be.
877
01:13:29.461 --> 01:13:33.724
Otherwise, it's just small talk for 90 minutes.
878
01:13:34.605 --> 01:13:37.387
It's talking about the weather and the traffic for 90 minutes.
879
01:13:37.807 --> 01:13:39.509
And nobody wants to be in that position.
880
01:13:40.710 --> 01:13:46.835
I'm not anti-small talk, but if it's going on for 90 minutes, I'm pretty anti-small talk if that happens.
881
01:13:47.905 --> 01:13:49.726
Yeah, I'm pretty anti-small talk, too.
882
01:13:49.806 --> 01:13:50.707
It's excruciating.
883
01:13:50.747 --> 01:13:53.128
Nails on a chalkboard to me.
884
01:13:53.308 --> 01:13:53.769
Yeah.
885
01:13:53.829 --> 01:13:55.190
I really appreciate... That's why.
886
01:13:55.210 --> 01:13:55.690
That's why.
887
01:13:56.971 --> 01:14:11.900
I really appreciate that question and the answer you gave to it because I myself have this desire as well to be able to exude presence in the rooms that I'm in.
888
01:14:11.940 --> 01:14:16.343
I shared this with you, I think, early on in our work, and...
889
01:14:18.250 --> 01:14:22.931
I want people to hear it too, because this is something that I've heard from several other people as well.
890
01:14:22.951 --> 01:14:24.331
How do you command a room?
891
01:14:24.751 --> 01:14:29.752
How do you walk in like you're 10 feet tall and bulletproof, you know?
892
01:14:29.852 --> 01:14:38.574
And how do you truly just, when you walk out of the room, how is it that people say, who the hell was that?
893
01:14:40.094 --> 01:14:40.394
You know?
894
01:14:40.954 --> 01:14:42.914
And so you spoke right to that.
895
01:14:43.834 --> 01:14:45.495
And I really liked it.
896
01:14:46.295 --> 01:14:46.455
Good.
897
01:14:46.535 --> 01:14:46.975
My pleasure.
898
01:14:48.459 --> 01:14:50.160
All right, Myles, we're going to move to wrap it up here.
899
01:14:50.200 --> 01:14:52.220
What are you excited about right now?
900
01:14:52.300 --> 01:14:53.641
What's next for you?
901
01:14:53.841 --> 01:14:56.642
What gets you amped up?
902
01:14:57.102 --> 01:14:58.943
It really is helping people find their voice.
903
01:14:59.223 --> 01:15:00.443
It really is that.
904
01:15:00.803 --> 01:15:14.348
It's that lovely sensation of people going, wow, I did the warm-up every morning this week, and I can just feel the difference, and I'm just owning this space that I'm operating in, and I'm not operating in a small space.
905
01:15:14.688 --> 01:15:16.089
I'm operating in a big space.
906
01:15:16.949 --> 01:15:19.310
And I'm not being arrogant with that.
907
01:15:19.490 --> 01:15:22.072
I'm not being a dictator about that.
908
01:15:22.372 --> 01:15:31.236
I am just really, really relishing this sense of a slightly more elevated status with my own self and my voice.
909
01:15:31.777 --> 01:15:33.037
So that's what I'm excited about.
910
01:15:33.057 --> 01:15:38.160
Every time I jump onto a call with a client, be it new or current or old, it's a joy.
911
01:15:38.460 --> 01:15:39.421
It really is joy.
912
01:15:40.448 --> 01:15:47.990
And the moments of pure exhilaration are when I'm working with somebody for a long time and they all suddenly turn around and say, I've got a keynote.
913
01:15:48.590 --> 01:15:49.330
I've got an hour.
914
01:15:49.830 --> 01:15:51.170
I've got a room of a thousand people.
915
01:15:52.030 --> 01:15:52.951
I've got to talk about this.
916
01:15:53.691 --> 01:15:55.351
And I go, amazing.
917
01:15:55.411 --> 01:15:56.251
Let's get cracking.
918
01:15:56.291 --> 01:16:01.512
This is the sort of sleeves rolled up, pure, simple rehearsal territory.
919
01:16:01.872 --> 01:16:02.212
Okay.
920
01:16:02.633 --> 01:16:04.553
Because my background's in theatre training.
921
01:16:05.773 --> 01:16:24.899
voiceover work and teaching, it's really lovely to sort of embrace that world and then to go with that person to the show and be with them in the dressing room and be with them in the wings just to run through some status shifting strategies for them to walk on and what does that journey look like.
922
01:16:24.980 --> 01:16:26.980
So those moments help me.
923
01:16:27.300 --> 01:16:28.501
Help me people find their voices.
924
01:16:29.341 --> 01:16:30.301
It's why I'm doing it.
925
01:16:37.353 --> 01:16:37.773
Amazing.
926
01:16:38.654 --> 01:16:44.018
With that being said, where can people find you if they want to learn more, if they have additional questions?
927
01:16:44.658 --> 01:16:44.858
Yeah.
928
01:16:45.339 --> 01:16:50.482
So I'm on Instagram and LinkedIn at speakwellcoaching.
929
01:16:50.823 --> 01:16:51.543
You'll find me.
930
01:16:52.484 --> 01:16:53.685
And we've got a website as well.
931
01:16:53.725 --> 01:16:57.347
And that's speak-well.co.uk.
932
01:16:57.387 --> 01:16:59.829
And you'll find everything you need on there.
933
01:17:01.515 --> 01:17:08.239
Miles, thank you so much for joining me on the show and for unleashing your wisdom on my audience.
934
01:17:08.379 --> 01:17:10.700
Truly appreciative and grateful.
935
01:17:10.920 --> 01:17:12.581
I got a ton out of it myself.
936
01:17:12.901 --> 01:17:14.022
My absolute pleasure, Josh.
937
01:17:14.042 --> 01:17:15.903
Thank you so much for having me.
938
01:17:17.144 --> 01:17:17.424
All right.
939
01:17:17.444 --> 01:17:17.764
Be well.