Stop People Problems Becoming Big: Difficult Conversations Made Easy

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To stop people problems from becoming big in teams, there are three essential actions any manager can and must take.
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The best managers don't have less problems in their teams.
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The actions they take and when is the real difference between those managers who keep getting promoted and those that find themselves stuck.
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A simple example.
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A team member comes in late.
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They are late again.
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Other team members notice.
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One or two come in later as well.
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Soon half the team is late some days.
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Then work deadlines slip, other team members get angry and frustrated.
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The motivation and culture of the team drop.
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Performance starts to slide.
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Bosses start asking difficult questions and then start blaming the manager.
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Too many managers think this won't happen to them.
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When would you have the first conversation in the example I just shared?
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And what would you say in that conversation?
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Be honest with yourself.
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I've taken over the worst team in multiple different businesses where the manager didn't take the right action when they should have.
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That manager lost their job and left the team in shambles.
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It took 6-12 months for me to transform those teams and get them really performing again.
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Think of the cost of the business of this performance gap over the 6-12 months.
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The first truth you must accept to avoid damaging your reputation and credibility or losing your bonus or even your job as a manager.
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Performance damaging team problems don't start large or stay hidden.
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Problems very rarely start big.
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When managers find themselves in trouble, it is nearly always from problems they have known about for a while.
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People problems start small.
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When left alone, people problems are almost guaranteed to grow.
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In workplaces with pressure, with deadlines, with too much work for too few people, small people problems quickly become big team issues.
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Your bosses know this too.
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Take responsibility to look out for problems and take action.
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For example, underperformance starts as small drops in urgency, or confusion as to what to do, or a slight reduction in the quality of work, or a drop in ownership and responsibility, or increased excuses to explain away the problems.
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Unhealthy negativity starts as small cynical comments, or consistent eye rolling, or more cons um sarcasm than usual, or persistent resistance to change.
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Keep looking out for the small signs of problems developing.
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Ask team members what they are seeing.
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Spend time observing team members.
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Keep taking notice of body language and non-verbal clues.
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Don't write these off.
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Ask questions and find out what is behind them.
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Be curious.
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The best managers keep a careful eye on behaviours and actions or lack of them.
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The managers that get into trouble don't.
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My name is Jess Coles, and if you're new to this podcast, Enhanced.training provides resources, courses, and coaching for you to build management expertise and confidence to lead any team to their best performance.
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If you feel nervous, apprehensive, or scared before you need to have difficult conversations, or you are not sure of what to prepare or how to have these conversations, I invite you to take a look at our mini course on having the first difficult conversation.
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Doing the course will massively improve your confidence and give you exercises to build your skills.
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Just type enhance.training backslash 2F2 into your browser and select the first difficult conversations course.
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Next, there is a high cost of waiting.
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Act to stop small people problems becoming big.
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We all put off difficult situations.
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We convince ourselves that it is fine to wait.
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I did the same when confronted with my first really difficult employee.
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Managers often have thoughts like, you know, let's wait and see what happens, or perhaps it will improve on its own.
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Or I don't want to overreact or rock the boat.
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When you wait, you nearly always see standards slip, just a little at first and then with increasing speed.
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Second, others copy the bad behaviours because it is easier and fairer than maintaining better standards.
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Third, frustration spreads through the team.
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Fourth, trust weakens and so does relationships and teamwork as a result.
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And then because of this, team performance declines.
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These things can happen fast.
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One minute the problem is small, next it has become something much bigger.
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A sales manager I was coaching had seen his team's sales drop over 13% in two months because of people problems.
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That was hundreds of thousands of pounds.
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The longer a people problem exists, the harder it is to resolve.
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People like patterns.
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The more significant a problem becomes, the more emotionally invested people become in their position and therefore the harder they find it to change.
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The best time to act is straight away.
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As soon as you are aware of the problem, take action.
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A five-minute early conversation can resolve a problem that might take days of effort to resolve in a few weeks' time.
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As soon as you are aware of a problem, have a conversation within 24 hours.
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Don't wait any longer than this.
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Every day that a people problem goes unaddressed, you are communicating to your team that this problem is okay or acceptable.
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Can you afford to do that?
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Next, turn fear into an opportunity to stop people problems becoming big.
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Having difficult conversations is scary.
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The fear of the conversation is nearly always a lot worse than the actual conversation itself.
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A mental trick that I usually employ.
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Think ahead to what will happen if you don't do anything.
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Picture your boss's face, their disappointment.
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See how you've let them down, your team members down.
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Picture what it might be like if your boss has a difficult conversation with you.
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Think how scary that would be and compare it to the conversation that you know you need to have.
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This always makes me look forward to the immediate conversation compared to the major pain later if I delay.
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Tips on your mindset to go into the conversation to turn something potentially difficult into real improvement opportunity.
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Go into the conversation with a curious mindset and withhold judgment as long as possible.
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Plan on asking questions and spend a lot more time listening than talking.
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The first part of the conversation is to understand the problem.
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Listening also makes the other person feel heard, feel valued, and feel like you're treating them fairly.
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Listening reduces barriers and reduces tensions.
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When you really understand, then you can take fair, sensible action.
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Aim to help rather than tell off.
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Give advice and guidance rather than addressing down.
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Make it clear what happens if they don't improve too.
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Be considerate and understanding.
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Don't be too nice.
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And finally, what to talk about and why to stop people problems becoming big.
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I've found out over the years that the more direct you are, the clearer you are, the more the other person appreciates you.
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Be diplomatic and be very direct.
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You can and should do both.
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Leave the other person in no doubt about what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and what you expect from them going forward.
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Give them a second chance but not a third.
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Talk about their actions, decisions, behaviours and results, or the lack of them.
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Don't talk about them as a person or personality.
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They can change what they do.
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Changing who they are is a lot harder and far less like to happen.
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Actions, etc., are a lot less emotive and won't create such a big emotional reaction in the other person, which is something you definitely want to avoid.
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Don't say things like, you know, you did a rubbish job, or you're no good, or you need more confidence.
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Do say things like the way you left it at the last minute to complete that report was not sensible.
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Can you see the impact on your accuracy as a result?
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Or the results you achieved are not great and significantly below target.
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Let's work through what you are going to do next time to beat targets.
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Or next time go into a quiet room, stand up and speak out loud just like you will when presenting.
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Run through your speech at least five times, picturing in your mind what the audience will look like as you speak.
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This will make you feel a lot more confident.
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I hope you understand the difference.
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Talk about actions, decisions, behaviors, and results or the lack of them, not the person.
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And if you feel nervous, apprehensive, or scared before you need to have difficult conversations, or you are not sure what to prepare or how to have these conversations, I invite you to take a look at our mini course on having the first difficult conversation.
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:52.960
Doing the course will make you massively more confident and will give you exercises to build your skills.
00:09:53.200 --> 00:10:00.960
Just type enhance.training backslash 2F2 into your browser and select the first difficult conversations course.
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So in summary, the most important action for you to take away is to act as soon as practical.
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So you're tackling small new problems that are easy to resolve rather than big established problems that are a nightmare to resolve.
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Always approach the situation with a curious mindset and with an intention to help the other person to improve.
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Talk about actions, decisions, behaviors, and results or the lack of them.
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Don't talk about the individual.
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If you have any questions on stop people problems becoming big, protect your reputation and progress, please email me at support at enhance.training and I will get back to you.
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Thanks very much for listening, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.