WEBVTT
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And now effective communication with Phil Zeller, CEO Dale Carnegie, Southwest, Michigan.
2
00:00:07.639 --> 00:00:09.599
All right, so this show today is going out to
3
00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:14.960
my peeps, the peeps like me. Hopefully that's you. If not,
4
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:17.079
you're gonna learn about some of the peeps out there.
5
00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:20.719
Let me ask you a question. Were you the shy
6
00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:23.679
kid back when you were a child growing up? Were
7
00:00:23.719 --> 00:00:26.679
you the shy kid? Yes? You might not believe this,
8
00:00:26.839 --> 00:00:31.920
but your host, Phil Zeller communication, I was the shy kid.
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00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:36.000
Oh my gosh, world explodes right. I was a shy kid.
10
00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:38.719
My mom we used to go places. I'm the baby
11
00:00:38.759 --> 00:00:40.679
of five kids within six years, grew up in a
12
00:00:40.679 --> 00:00:44.240
big family, would go places, and I really just did
13
00:00:44.320 --> 00:00:47.200
not talk. As a matter of fact, every time I
14
00:00:47.320 --> 00:00:50.119
was introduced by my mother would meet somebody else would
15
00:00:50.119 --> 00:00:52.679
be out and should describe each one of her kids,
16
00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:55.520
and her definition for me is, hey, this is my
17
00:00:55.640 --> 00:00:59.880
youngest child, Philip. He's the shy one. He's the shy one.
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And interestingly enough, my mom would always put that moniker
19
00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:07.239
on me. She would always call me the shy child.
20
00:01:09.239 --> 00:01:11.640
And it was interesting because later in life I asked
21
00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:14.519
my mom. Years later, we were having some great conversations
22
00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:17.680
later in her life, and I said, you know, help
23
00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:20.879
me to understand what was the goal of you always
24
00:01:20.879 --> 00:01:24.040
share with me that I was the shy child. And
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00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:27.239
she said, well, what do you mean you were? And
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I said, yes, yeah, sure I was. But what was
27
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the value in introducing me as this shy child? And
28
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she said, well you were, and I said yes, yes,
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And I'm truly asking you what was the value in
30
00:01:44.519 --> 00:01:47.519
introducing me as a shy child to everyone? And she
31
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stopped and she looked at me, and she goes, oh,
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my gosh, Oh my gosh, what did I do? And
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I said, mom, I'm not here to judge you. That's
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my that's not where everyon this conversation. I'm just seeking understanding.
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I'm not here a judge. I want to understand. And
36
00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:08.080
she goes, oh, my gosh. I didn't realize it. I
37
00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:11.120
described you, but I didn't even think about the consequences
38
00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:15.639
of describing that way someone that way. And so I
39
00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:19.759
was described as a shy child by my parents, and
40
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:24.360
so as a child, I exemplified that behavior because when
41
00:02:24.360 --> 00:02:27.800
your parents tell you this is who you are, there's
42
00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:30.919
a reason why the questions do you own it or not?
43
00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:33.879
And as a child, what I did was I started
44
00:02:33.879 --> 00:02:36.879
to own that shy behavior. And the challenge was as
45
00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:39.520
a shy kid, there were some opportunities, There were some
46
00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:44.759
cool things about it. Oftentimes people didn't bother me. That's
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00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:47.560
a positive being a shy kid. People don't bother you. Oh,
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don't talk to him. He doesn't talk to anybody. You
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get to do your own thing and people are okay
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with it. Right. People don't really ask you what's wrong
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with that kid? All? That kid's always like that, he's
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a shy kid. Benefit of being the shy kid. On
53
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:03.800
the flip side, the part that most of you are
54
00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:06.879
thinking about the shy kid. Yet they didn't get asked
55
00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:09.879
to go beyond the team. They didn't get to be
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00:03:09.960 --> 00:03:13.000
part of the club, they didn't get invite to the parties,
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they didn't get the pretty girl to dance with them
58
00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:18.719
at the school dance because the shy kid never got
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00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:22.800
up and asked anybody anything. Right, so we all know
60
00:03:22.919 --> 00:03:26.560
what happened there. Well. The challenge is, at some point
61
00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:29.199
in time in your life, you realize you don't want
62
00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:31.960
to be the shy kid anymore, and you might be
63
00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:34.000
stuck with it. You like you want to overcome it.
64
00:03:34.039 --> 00:03:36.439
And beautiful thing about it is. Dale Carnegie said, well,
65
00:03:36.639 --> 00:03:39.719
you know the quickest way to overcome being the shy kid,
66
00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:45.199
it's actually counterintuitive. He said, the best way in all
67
00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:49.919
the world to overcome self consciousness and shyness is to
68
00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:53.879
get interested in other people and to think of them
69
00:03:54.360 --> 00:03:58.840
and almost every in every way almost and if you do,
70
00:03:58.919 --> 00:04:01.639
if you think about them and become genuine interested in them,
71
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:07.280
you will start to overcome your timidity and your shyness.
72
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:11.479
And it's interesting how it works. So he went on
73
00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:14.199
to say, you should probably try to do something for
74
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:19.720
other people, practice deeds of kindness, acts of friendliness, and
75
00:04:19.759 --> 00:04:23.720
you'll be surprised to see what happens as you overcome
76
00:04:24.279 --> 00:04:27.519
your shyness. So these are things I started to do
77
00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:30.959
in my teenage years and I realized, yeah, Dale Carnegie's
78
00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:34.560
got it. He's right. You have to take action and
79
00:04:34.600 --> 00:04:36.879
you have to put yourself out there. People are not
80
00:04:37.079 --> 00:04:39.879
going to come to you, and if they do, cool,
81
00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:44.120
but they're far and few between. So my challenge for you,
82
00:04:44.199 --> 00:04:46.639
my friend today, if you were that shy kid, or
83
00:04:46.680 --> 00:04:49.560
maybe today you're still a bit timid, do what Dale
84
00:04:49.560 --> 00:04:52.800
Carnegie challenged us to do to overcome it and become
85
00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:56.160
genuinely interested in other people. And when you do that,
86
00:04:56.680 --> 00:05:00.240
you'll start to be fascinated by other people. Some of
87
00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:02.600
the questions I learned to ask over the years are
88
00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:05.759
what are you proud of? Ask a person that what
89
00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:08.160
are they proud of? What do they take pride in?
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00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:11.040
What are some of the things you're really good at
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00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:15.120
that you've learned you're really good at in life? And
92
00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:18.319
ask them what's one of the greatest lessons that life
93
00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:21.800
has taught you. And when you start asking questions like this,
94
00:05:21.959 --> 00:05:24.800
people will start to open up. Because here's a pro tip.
95
00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:28.600
People like to talk about themselves and things they're interested in.
96
00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:32.759
So if you can ask questions revolving around that, you'll
97
00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:36.160
be connected and in turn overcome your shyness that go
98
00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:37.000
make it happen.
1
00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:06.799
And now effective communication with Phil Zeller, CEO Dale Carnegie, Southwest, Michigan.
2
00:00:07.639 --> 00:00:09.599
All right, so this show today is going out to
3
00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:14.960
my peeps, the peeps like me. Hopefully that's you. If not,
4
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:17.079
you're gonna learn about some of the peeps out there.
5
00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:20.719
Let me ask you a question. Were you the shy
6
00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:23.679
kid back when you were a child growing up? Were
7
00:00:23.719 --> 00:00:26.679
you the shy kid? Yes? You might not believe this,
8
00:00:26.839 --> 00:00:31.920
but your host, Phil Zeller communication, I was the shy kid.
9
00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:36.000
Oh my gosh, world explodes right. I was a shy kid.
10
00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:38.719
My mom we used to go places. I'm the baby
11
00:00:38.759 --> 00:00:40.679
of five kids within six years, grew up in a
12
00:00:40.679 --> 00:00:44.240
big family, would go places, and I really just did
13
00:00:44.320 --> 00:00:47.200
not talk. As a matter of fact, every time I
14
00:00:47.320 --> 00:00:50.119
was introduced by my mother would meet somebody else would
15
00:00:50.119 --> 00:00:52.679
be out and should describe each one of her kids,
16
00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:55.520
and her definition for me is, hey, this is my
17
00:00:55.640 --> 00:00:59.880
youngest child, Philip. He's the shy one. He's the shy one.
18
00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:04.079
And interestingly enough, my mom would always put that moniker
19
00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:07.239
on me. She would always call me the shy child.
20
00:01:09.239 --> 00:01:11.640
And it was interesting because later in life I asked
21
00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:14.519
my mom. Years later, we were having some great conversations
22
00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:17.680
later in her life, and I said, you know, help
23
00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:20.879
me to understand what was the goal of you always
24
00:01:20.879 --> 00:01:24.040
share with me that I was the shy child. And
25
00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:27.239
she said, well, what do you mean you were? And
26
00:01:27.319 --> 00:01:31.079
I said, yes, yeah, sure I was. But what was
27
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:35.840
the value in introducing me as this shy child? And
28
00:01:35.879 --> 00:01:39.480
she said, well you were, and I said yes, yes,
29
00:01:40.159 --> 00:01:44.519
And I'm truly asking you what was the value in
30
00:01:44.519 --> 00:01:47.519
introducing me as a shy child to everyone? And she
31
00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:50.319
stopped and she looked at me, and she goes, oh,
32
00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:54.280
my gosh, Oh my gosh, what did I do? And
33
00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:57.519
I said, mom, I'm not here to judge you. That's
34
00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:01.959
my that's not where everyon this conversation. I'm just seeking understanding.
35
00:02:02.879 --> 00:02:05.560
I'm not here a judge. I want to understand. And
36
00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:08.080
she goes, oh, my gosh. I didn't realize it. I
37
00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:11.120
described you, but I didn't even think about the consequences
38
00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:15.639
of describing that way someone that way. And so I
39
00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:19.759
was described as a shy child by my parents, and
40
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:24.360
so as a child, I exemplified that behavior because when
41
00:02:24.360 --> 00:02:27.800
your parents tell you this is who you are, there's
42
00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:30.919
a reason why the questions do you own it or not?
43
00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:33.879
And as a child, what I did was I started
44
00:02:33.879 --> 00:02:36.879
to own that shy behavior. And the challenge was as
45
00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:39.520
a shy kid, there were some opportunities, There were some
46
00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:44.759
cool things about it. Oftentimes people didn't bother me. That's
47
00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:47.560
a positive being a shy kid. People don't bother you. Oh,
48
00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:50.280
don't talk to him. He doesn't talk to anybody. You
49
00:02:50.360 --> 00:02:52.280
get to do your own thing and people are okay
50
00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:55.439
with it. Right. People don't really ask you what's wrong
51
00:02:55.520 --> 00:02:57.520
with that kid? All? That kid's always like that, he's
52
00:02:57.560 --> 00:03:01.960
a shy kid. Benefit of being the shy kid. On
53
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:03.800
the flip side, the part that most of you are
54
00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:06.879
thinking about the shy kid. Yet they didn't get asked
55
00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:09.879
to go beyond the team. They didn't get to be
56
00:03:09.960 --> 00:03:13.000
part of the club, they didn't get invite to the parties,
57
00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:15.800
they didn't get the pretty girl to dance with them
58
00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:18.719
at the school dance because the shy kid never got
59
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:22.800
up and asked anybody anything. Right, so we all know
60
00:03:22.919 --> 00:03:26.560
what happened there. Well. The challenge is, at some point
61
00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:29.199
in time in your life, you realize you don't want
62
00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:31.960
to be the shy kid anymore, and you might be
63
00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:34.000
stuck with it. You like you want to overcome it.
64
00:03:34.039 --> 00:03:36.439
And beautiful thing about it is. Dale Carnegie said, well,
65
00:03:36.639 --> 00:03:39.719
you know the quickest way to overcome being the shy kid,
66
00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:45.199
it's actually counterintuitive. He said, the best way in all
67
00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:49.919
the world to overcome self consciousness and shyness is to
68
00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:53.879
get interested in other people and to think of them
69
00:03:54.360 --> 00:03:58.840
and almost every in every way almost and if you do,
70
00:03:58.919 --> 00:04:01.639
if you think about them and become genuine interested in them,
71
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:07.280
you will start to overcome your timidity and your shyness.
72
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:11.479
And it's interesting how it works. So he went on
73
00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:14.199
to say, you should probably try to do something for
74
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:19.720
other people, practice deeds of kindness, acts of friendliness, and
75
00:04:19.759 --> 00:04:23.720
you'll be surprised to see what happens as you overcome
76
00:04:24.279 --> 00:04:27.519
your shyness. So these are things I started to do
77
00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:30.959
in my teenage years and I realized, yeah, Dale Carnegie's
78
00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:34.560
got it. He's right. You have to take action and
79
00:04:34.600 --> 00:04:36.879
you have to put yourself out there. People are not
80
00:04:37.079 --> 00:04:39.879
going to come to you, and if they do, cool,
81
00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:44.120
but they're far and few between. So my challenge for you,
82
00:04:44.199 --> 00:04:46.639
my friend today, if you were that shy kid, or
83
00:04:46.680 --> 00:04:49.560
maybe today you're still a bit timid, do what Dale
84
00:04:49.560 --> 00:04:52.800
Carnegie challenged us to do to overcome it and become
85
00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:56.160
genuinely interested in other people. And when you do that,
86
00:04:56.680 --> 00:05:00.240
you'll start to be fascinated by other people. Some of
87
00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:02.600
the questions I learned to ask over the years are
88
00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:05.759
what are you proud of? Ask a person that what
89
00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:08.160
are they proud of? What do they take pride in?
90
00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:11.040
What are some of the things you're really good at
91
00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:15.120
that you've learned you're really good at in life? And
92
00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:18.319
ask them what's one of the greatest lessons that life
93
00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:21.800
has taught you. And when you start asking questions like this,
94
00:05:21.959 --> 00:05:24.800
people will start to open up. Because here's a pro tip.
95
00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:28.600
People like to talk about themselves and things they're interested in.
96
00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:32.759
So if you can ask questions revolving around that, you'll
97
00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:36.160
be connected and in turn overcome your shyness that go
98
00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:37.000
make it happen.
