00:00:00
Speaker 1: It's good, nice and spicy. There was a guy two blocks away.
00:00:07
Speaker 2: Oh, Nick Totoro? How you doing?
00:00:10
Speaker 1: What's up, cuz? What you doing, buddy? What's up, man? I'm Chris.
00:00:13
Speaker 2: A Mets fan, right?
00:00:14
Speaker 1: I am a Mets fan, yeah.
00:00:15
Speaker 2: Guess it on your mouth.
00:00:17
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's a little jizz. You're eating on the street? I'm eating on the street over a garbage can. A whole pie? The doctor said I have 300 cholesterol, so I thought this would be good.
00:00:26
Speaker 2: You need some company?
00:00:27
Speaker 1: I love some company. Come on.
00:00:29
Speaker 2: I'll break bread with you. Why not? Nice Italian guy.
00:00:32
Speaker 1: I got a whole pie, yeah. Yeah. Got it all over my chin and face.
00:00:35
Speaker 2: Let me get you a napkin.
00:00:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, please, yeah.
00:00:37
Speaker 2: You know, I'm an owner here.
00:00:39
Speaker 1: Really?
00:00:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me get a napkin.
00:00:40
Speaker 3: Amazing.
00:00:41
Speaker 1: Good, I like that.
00:00:42
Speaker 3: I like to see the Italians owning the pizzerias again. All these fucking Albanians buying all the pizzerias in New York.
00:00:47
Speaker 1: Napkins!
00:00:48
Speaker 3: I like Albanian people, but stay away from my pizza. I like that Nick owns Prince Street Pizza. I really like that.
00:00:55
Speaker 1: Small owner. He's a small owner of Prince Street Pizza.
00:00:59
Speaker 2: Oh, it is.
00:01:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, good.
00:01:00
Speaker 3: What's the number one pizzeria in New York City right now?
00:01:02
Speaker 1: Prince Street Pizza. Prince Street Pizza.
00:01:04
Speaker 3: A lot of people talk about Mama Two's, and I say, fuck that. That's the one John Totoro owns. I'm about Nick Totoro.
00:01:11
Speaker 2: Thank you, Chris.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: Thank you, yeah.
00:01:12
Speaker 2: I heard that.
00:01:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was saying, I'm about, you know, I'm about you and what you do, and this is great. I love Prince Street Pizza.
00:01:18
Speaker 1: They got one in L.A. Do you all, a little bit of an owner of the one in L.A.
00:01:21
Speaker 2: Too? No, no, but I'm like an ambassador out there.
00:01:24
Speaker 3: Right.
00:01:24
Speaker 2: That's how it started. I would show up at these openings.
00:01:27
Speaker 3: Right.
00:01:27
Speaker 2: And they'd say I was good luck, I was good luck, and then we got to know each other.
00:01:31
Speaker 3: Right.
00:01:31
Speaker 2: And then I said, I want to get more involved, and they were like.
00:01:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was saying it's good to have Italians owning the pizzerias again because a lot of Albanians are coming in trying to own the pizzerias. Now, I don't have anything bad to say about Albanian people because they're psychos. So I don't need an Albanian guy to see this and then they show up at my comedy show with a chainsaw because I.
00:01:49
Speaker 1: Disrespected the Albanian name.
00:01:50
Speaker 3: I love Albania, the country of Albania, the people of Albania, but stay out of the pizza. I want guys like Nick Totoro and other Italians owning the pizzerias.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: That's all.
00:01:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got a famous rapper who's named Gashi.
00:02:00
Speaker 1: Gashi?
00:02:01
Speaker 2: You heard of this guy? He's an owner, too.
00:02:04
Speaker 1: And he's Albanian?
00:02:04
Speaker 2: He's an Albanian.
00:02:05
Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
00:02:06
Speaker 2: He's pretty big, too.
00:02:07
Speaker 1: I believe. Well, you know what? You got Gashi. I got Action Bronson. He's Albanian. I know him. He'll beat you up in shorts. That guy wears cargo shorts 12 months a year. Yeah, he's tough, Action. That's what it is, yeah.
00:02:16
Speaker 2: How do you know him?
00:02:17
Speaker 1: This guy doesn't know.
00:02:18
Speaker 3: You can always tell a person who has no idea what the fuck is going on.
00:02:22
Speaker 1: New York guys, right? You could always just tell.
00:02:24
Speaker 3: Like I look at a guy like that, he's just so lost.
00:02:26
Speaker 1: He has no idea what's happening.
00:02:28
Speaker 3: He's the kind of guy, like in a situation, like if there was a shootout right now, he'd be the.
00:02:32
Speaker 1: First to go.
00:02:33
Speaker 3: You know like some people, they're just the first to go? Like he's just looking around like an asshole. You're like, this guy's going to get killed immediately. He almost got hit by a pigeon, Nick Nick. This thing just fucking almost landed on your son's hair bun.
00:02:44
Speaker 1: Like, it was close.
00:02:47
Speaker 2: What would you be?
00:02:48
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
00:02:49
Speaker 2: I mean, if there was a shootout, what's your reaction?
00:02:51
Speaker 1: Dude, I'm not going to be the first to go. I'll tell you what. I'm the guy, though, just to preserve my own thing, I'd.
00:02:56
Speaker 3: Hide behind you. I'm the guy who I would hide. I would hide, and I would hide, and I'd negotiate. Yeah. I'm the guy, like I did comedy shows in the Middle East last year. I was the guy that said, if I get into any kind of trouble, I'll submit to Allah temporarily just to get the fuck out of the country. Really?
00:03:13
Speaker 1: So then I'll rip off the hajib.
00:03:14
Speaker 2: You'll do whatever it takes.
00:03:15
Speaker 1: I'll do whatever it takes. You've got to survive.
00:03:16
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to survive until my youngest kid turns 18.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: Are you curious?
00:03:20
Speaker 2: Like when you see, like I'm a bit of a... What do you call that, a voyeur?
00:03:24
Speaker 1: A voyeur, yeah, you're voyeuristic.
00:03:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always like, I'm always looking around. Like one time it got me in trouble when I was a young kid.
00:03:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you want to, what I like to do is I like to take in scenarios and I like to think about what was this street like 250 years ago?
00:03:41
Speaker 1: You ever do that?
00:03:41
Speaker 2: You go into history?
00:03:42
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah.
00:03:43
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
00:03:43
Speaker 3: Like just George, imagine George Washington eating Prince Street pizza with fucking wooden teeth. Yeah.
00:03:47
Speaker 1: How unbelievable that would be? I don't know.
00:03:50
Speaker 3: No. Yeah.
00:03:50
Speaker 1: How far did you get in school?
00:03:52
Speaker 4: Me?
00:03:52
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:03:53
Speaker 2: A little college.
00:03:54
Speaker 1: You got to a little college?
00:03:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: Dude, I would have never fucking thought that. It's amazing. A little college is nice.
00:04:00
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:04:00
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, I'm more, I'm smart in a different way.
00:04:04
Speaker 3: Smart in a different, I like that.
00:04:05
Speaker 2: You know, they pass me along, but they always, they thought I had potential.
00:04:08
Speaker 3: Right.
00:04:08
Speaker 2: But I was like half, I was half really, I don't want to say. But I was like, oh, yeah, it's not a good word.
00:04:14
Speaker 1: You can bleep it out. I would say half mentally. That's the appropriate way to focus. This fucking guy knows what you're talking about. What's up, buddy? There's another one.
00:04:21
Speaker 4: I didn't really.
00:04:22
Speaker 1: But there's another fucking.
00:04:24
Speaker 2: They would say they would say Nick. Nick has potential.
00:04:27
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:27
Speaker 2: You know, and they pass me along.
00:04:29
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:30
Speaker 2: Like in the first grade, I used to run out of school every day.
00:04:32
Speaker 1: Right.
00:04:32
Speaker 2: For a whole year.
00:04:33
Speaker 1: Right.
00:04:34
Speaker 2: And my father tied me to my chair.
00:04:35
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:36
Speaker 2: Him and my brother, in front of the whole class.
00:04:37
Speaker 1: John Totoro used to beat you like that?
00:04:39
Speaker 2: No, not John, my brother Ralph.
00:04:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, John's not the kind of guy to do that.
00:04:42
Speaker 2: No, no, my brother's more like.
00:04:43
Speaker 1: Guy's fucking Franz Kafka.
00:04:44
Speaker 2: He's caring.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
00:04:46
Speaker 2: He's intense in a different way.
00:04:47
Speaker 1: He's intense in a different way. See, you wiped me, now I'm going to get you, cuz.
00:04:50
Speaker 2: All right, man.
00:04:50
Speaker 1: See, you got something on here.
00:04:51
Speaker 2: What kind of Italian are you?
00:04:53
Speaker 3: So, I'm the Italian that's mostly not Italian. My last name's DiStefano. I presented myself as Italian. I thought I was fully Italian.
00:05:01
Speaker 2: You're half Irish.
00:05:01
Speaker 1: Half Irish. Ready for this? Even crazier. I have a little bit of Irish, mostly German.
00:05:06
Speaker 2: German?
00:05:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm from Ridgewood, Queens.
00:05:08
Speaker 3: Big time German neighborhood.
00:05:10
Speaker 2: Really?
00:05:10
Speaker 1: Yep, old school. And the problem with my generation... Who's German? Mother?
00:05:15
Speaker 3: Mother and fathers and my father's mother.
00:05:19
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, you got the name DiStefano.
00:05:20
Speaker 3: Right, because my father's father was Italian.
00:05:23
Speaker 2: So you're only a quarter Italian.
00:05:24
Speaker 3: I'm the little, the most minuscule part of me is Italian, but the last name.
00:05:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that name is very Italian.
00:05:31
Speaker 1: It is very Italian, but I- Christopher? But look at my- What's your name? Christopher DiStefano.
00:05:34
Speaker 2: You got nice cheekbones.
00:05:36
Speaker 3: That's, yeah, that's what they, but German people, but I also could, I.
00:05:39
Speaker 1: Look a little fucking, you know what I mean?
00:05:40
Speaker 2: You could be like a Swede or a German.
00:05:42
Speaker 1: Right, 100%. Yeah, but still. Right.
00:05:44
Speaker 2: The name and the look, you got good hair.
00:05:46
Speaker 1: Thank you, I appreciate that.
00:05:47
Speaker 2: You got a Puerto Rican girl.
00:05:49
Speaker 1: I got a Puerto Rican wife, yeah. Yeah. Now what is, now what are you, you're Italian full?
00:05:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, on paper, I'm Italian.
00:05:55
Speaker 1: Right, paper, we got a little Latino in you, right?
00:05:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, we got a little Latino in us, yeah.
00:05:58
Speaker 3: Right, right, right.
00:05:59
Speaker 2: But we're Bades and Sicilian.
00:06:00
Speaker 1: Right, mostly Sicilian.
00:06:02
Speaker 2: No, half Sicilian.
00:06:03
Speaker 1: Half Sicilian.
00:06:04
Speaker 2: Half Bades, but I look more like a Sicilian. I look like a mixed guy.
00:06:07
Speaker 1: You look full Sicilian, yeah, and you got multiple chains on.
00:06:10
Speaker 2: Because when I saw people there... I saw people that looked like me.
00:06:13
Speaker 1: Right.
00:06:14
Speaker 2: Because growing up, people thought I was Puerto Rican, they thought this, they thought that.
00:06:17
Speaker 3: Sure.
00:06:17
Speaker 2: I always looked, I was, my mother looked Irish.
00:06:20
Speaker 3: Right.
00:06:20
Speaker 2: But I was always on the dark side.
00:06:21
Speaker 1: Right, you're always on the dark side, yeah. No, but you look good now, now, and you, and you, look at this fucking truck.
00:06:26
Speaker 2: How do you like the pepperoni?
00:06:28
Speaker 1: Dude, are you kidding me?
00:06:29
Speaker 3: I've eaten these, do you know how many stomach ulcers I've eaten through with these? Because I, you know, I got a bad stomach, but I still eat the spicy pepperoni, it don't matter.
00:06:36
Speaker 2: Oh, we got something in common.
00:06:37
Speaker 1: What happened?
00:06:38
Speaker 2: Oh, I got a bad stomach too.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: But you eat through it. For years. Right.
00:06:42
Speaker 2: What do you got, IBS?
00:06:43
Speaker 1: IBS, fucking, I got everything, dude. You got a lot of stuff, right?
00:06:46
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:06:47
Speaker 2: Have you had diverticulitis?
00:06:48
Speaker 1: No, not yet, but that's coming.
00:06:50
Speaker 2: That's bad.
00:06:52
Speaker 1: You had it?
00:06:52
Speaker 2: Well, I had it. I had the condition.
00:06:54
Speaker 3: Right.
00:06:54
Speaker 2: But thankfully, you know, I haven't had no attacks lately.
00:06:57
Speaker 3: Right.
00:06:58
Speaker 1: How old are you? 64. What? Dude, you look fantastic. I love it, dude.
00:07:04
Speaker 3: 64, and you know what I like? You stay true to who you are. You're dressed right now. You got the whole suit on. You got the two chains.
00:07:10
Speaker 2: You like the zucchini?
00:07:11
Speaker 1: Dude, I like it.
00:07:11
Speaker 2: We're going to get you one. We'll suit you up.
00:07:13
Speaker 1: I would love to do that.
00:07:14
Speaker 2: What are you, a large? Extra large?
00:07:15
Speaker 1: I'm going to say extra large up top, large at the bottom. I love you on that show.
00:07:19
Speaker 2: Which one? Blue Bloods?
00:07:21
Speaker 1: Blue Bloods.
00:07:21
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I was only on a few years.
00:07:23
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:07:24
Speaker 2: You were a sergeant there, right? That's right.
00:07:25
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
00:07:26
Speaker 2: Say hi to Chris.
00:07:27
Speaker 1: Hey, what's up, man? Chris, how you doing?
00:07:28
Speaker 2: My name is Carmine, but they.
00:07:31
Speaker 1: You know me as Fat Carmine. Stack? Fat. Fat Carmine, but you lost all the weight now.
00:07:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're not fat no more. You know who's got good heroes if you ever around?
00:07:39
Speaker 1: Parisi, 198 Mike.
00:07:41
Speaker 2: Parisi?
00:07:42
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:07:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, Parisi's fantastic. I know Parisi big time, yeah.
00:07:45
Speaker 2: He's a New York kid.
00:07:46
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:07:46
Speaker 2: Big stand-up.
00:07:47
Speaker 1: I love Parisi, yeah. Nice seeing you, buddy. That's it.
00:07:50
Speaker 2: Thank you.
00:07:50
Speaker 1: Thank you, brother. That's it.
00:07:52
Speaker 2: All right, buddy.
00:07:52
Speaker 1: That's GLP-1 Carmine. That's who he is. That's his new name. He's a... What's up, brother?
00:07:58
Speaker 2: You know who you look like a little bit?
00:07:59
Speaker 1: Come on, tell me. Hit me here. A goalie. Right.
00:08:02
Speaker 2: Henry Lundquist.
00:08:03
Speaker 1: Lundquist.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: Holy shit.
00:08:04
Speaker 1: Come on, baby.
00:08:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm talking about... A Swede. A Swede. A Swede Italian. Swede Italian. He ain't some fucking guy.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what it.
00:08:11
Speaker 2: Thank you. Got the dimples, everything. Look at that. I mean, if I was a.
00:08:14
Speaker 1: I gotta get in movies like you. With a face like this.
00:08:16
Speaker 3: Why not?
00:08:17
Speaker 2: You got a lot of energy.
00:08:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm on a.
00:08:18
Speaker 2: I can't even keep up with you.
00:08:19
Speaker 1: Podcasts and stand-up. I gotta get in the fucking movies.
00:08:22
Speaker 2: What do you think of Little Malt?
00:08:23
Speaker 1: I love Little Moe.
00:08:24
Speaker 3: One day I'm going to fucking knock him out with a semolina bread.
00:08:28
Speaker 2: That's his shit.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: I know, but one day I'm going to reverse it on him and I'm going to load up a semolina bread with marbles and fucking crack him over the head.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, he was here the other day and we're friends. I get exhausted with him.
00:08:38
Speaker 1: You have great energy.
00:08:41
Speaker 2: But his energy is like, he sucks you.
00:08:43
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no.
00:08:44
Speaker 2: I feel depleted by him.
00:08:45
Speaker 1: His energy.
00:08:46
Speaker 2: He's so funny.
00:08:47
Speaker 3: His energy is a mental health. His energy is institutionalized energy. He's got an actual psychiatric condition. I'm just having fun with you.
00:08:55
Speaker 2: I can calm it down.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: He can't turn it off. He's a lunatic.
00:08:58
Speaker 2: How long are you doing the comedy?
00:09:00
Speaker 3: I started in 2010. So what is it, 15, 16 years? I was a physical therapist. And then I got into stand-up comedy.
00:09:09
Speaker 2: You were a physical therapist?
00:09:10
Speaker 1: I was, yeah. Actually, I still technically am. I still have my license.
00:09:13
Speaker 2: Everybody does something. So how do you go from physical therapy.
00:09:17
Speaker 1: I just, I started doing open mics one day.
00:09:19
Speaker 2: How old were you?
00:09:20
Speaker 1: 25?
00:09:20
Speaker 3: I was 24 when I started. I got my physical therapy license first part of 24.
00:09:26
Speaker 2: Who gave you, who told you to go do open mics? Who gave you the balls to get up there and do that? Was it something you were thinking about?
00:09:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, so what happened was, when I was young, so what I would do.
00:09:36
Speaker 2: Eccentric?
00:09:37
Speaker 3: Kind of, what I would do a lot. is when I, anytime I would have like any anxiety or like a defense mechanism.
00:09:44
Speaker 1: I would always turn to humor.
00:09:45
Speaker 3: And my mother would always tell me, you know, you got a sense of humor, you always turn to comedy. And so it was always in my head. But then when I became a physical therapist, and I kind of was like, I went through, because I kept using school as an excuse. I kept saying, oh, I'll start stand-up next year. I got to get through school, I got to get through school. But then I got through school. Then I got my physical therapy license. And now I'm looking down the barrel of my life saying, you can either be a physical therapist for the rest of your life, which is a great career, Or you could take a shot and do stand-up, which you always want to do.
00:10:13
Speaker 1: You know, you got no more time left.
00:10:14
Speaker 3: So I started to do stand-up at 24, and then I wound up, you know, little by little becoming professional at it. And I still am a licensed physical therapist, but I haven't practiced physical therapy since like 2013. Yeah?
00:10:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've been doing it.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: So you started in the clubs?
00:10:29
Speaker 3: Clubs, yeah, the first place I ever did was this place called the Maui Taco, which is, it's gone now, but I was a fucking taco restaurant in the.
00:10:36
Speaker 1: Back, you know, doing comedy.
00:10:38
Speaker 2: How long was your act?
00:10:38
Speaker 3: Bombing. Dude, I could barely do six minutes. I couldn't do anything, you know? I was, you know, Maui Taco. What's up, cuz?
00:10:47
Speaker 1: What's up?
00:10:47
Speaker 2: Dom.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: Hey, Dom.
00:10:49
Speaker 2: Hey, Dom, buddy.
00:10:50
Speaker 1: You ever meet Fat Carmine? Is he a neighborhood guy?
00:10:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was a neighborhood guy.
00:10:54
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:55
Speaker 1: You know him?
00:10:55
Speaker 2: He said he was fat at one time.
00:10:57
Speaker 1: He told us he was fat.
00:10:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not fat no more.
00:10:59
Speaker 1: He's on Moonjaro now, he looks like.
00:11:00
Speaker 2: His brother's Butchie the Hat.
00:11:03
Speaker 1: Really?
00:11:03
Speaker 2: That's his brother?
00:11:05
Speaker 1: What's his brother's name?
00:11:05
Speaker 2: Oh, Butchie the Hat. He's a neighborhood legend.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: Oh, Butchie the Hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:08
Speaker 2: You've heard of him, right?
00:11:09
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:11:10
Speaker 3: What?
00:11:10
Speaker 1: Is he Nogashi, the fucking Albanian guy who owns this?
00:11:14
Speaker 2: He's a trash Albanian.
00:11:17
Speaker 1: I would say no more Albanians in pizza, only the Italians.
00:11:19
Speaker 3: Why they whacked out, the Albanians? I grew up in Ridgewood, Queens. A lot of Albanians, right? One of the craziest things that's ever happened, this is a true story. Playing ball, basketball at this park, Farmer's Oval, and we're playing, and, you know, great, the Albanian kids and us always got along, whatever. One of my friends goes up for a layup, gets fouled hard by this Albanian kid, right? They get into a little pushing match, whatever. So this Albanian kid says, I'm coming back with my brothers. Whatever, people say that shit all the time. It's in the heat of the moment. It's fucking August and playing basketball. About 30 minutes later, a truckload of Albanians I swear to God, they had the flag coming down the street in the back of like a Toyota, like with the open back, like the shit you see in ISIS, right?
00:12:03
Speaker 1: People coming out, full Albanian. One guy starts running after my friend with a chainsaw.
00:12:08
Speaker 3: Really? Yeah, me and these other, me and everybody took off, ran away. And from that moment on, I said, I don't mess with the Albanians.
00:12:14
Speaker 2: This don't give a shit, huh?
00:12:16
Speaker 3: They'll saw your arm off over a bad foul call.
00:12:19
Speaker 1: Holy mackerel.
00:12:20
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I don't mess with the Albanians. I shout out the Albanians all day. I'm good with the Albanians. I love the Albanians.
00:12:26
Speaker 1: Yeah. I got no issues.
00:12:28
Speaker 2: So you're German and Italian.
00:12:29
Speaker 1: Italian, yeah. German, Italian.
00:12:32
Speaker 2: But you carry yourself as an Italian.
00:12:33
Speaker 1: As an Italian because it's the New York way. You know what I mean?
00:12:36
Speaker 3: My father from the Bronx, my mother from Queens, raised.
00:12:39
Speaker 1: My wife's Puerto Rican.
00:12:41
Speaker 2: What's the German name?
00:12:41
Speaker 1: I'm circumcised. I'm Jewish.
00:12:43
Speaker 2: You're not Jewish.
00:12:44
Speaker 1: I'm not Jewish, but I'm circumcised. So I'm just saying I got a little bit of a.
00:12:46
Speaker 2: Why are you circumcised?
00:12:47
Speaker 1: They fucking.
00:12:47
Speaker 2: You're supposed to be Jewish.
00:12:49
Speaker 1: You're not Jewish. You're circumcised, right?
00:12:52
Speaker 2: I'm not Jewish.
00:12:52
Speaker 1: You're not circumcised?
00:12:54
Speaker 2: What do you mean I'm not circumcised?
00:12:55
Speaker 1: You got to be circumcised. All Italians are circumcised. Yeah. Nick, Nick, are you circumcised? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to get clipped. What are we doing over here?
00:13:01
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:13:02
Speaker 2: I mean, you're circumcised.
00:13:03
Speaker 1: Of course, dude. Are you kidding me? I'm fucking loose. I got no hat.
00:13:05
Speaker 2: Why'd you say I'm the Jewish?
00:13:06
Speaker 3: I said I'm circumcised, meaning like it was a Jewish thing. Like, because, you know, because I said I got, I'm Italian. I got a Puerto Rican wife and I'm circumcised. So I'm encompassing New York.
00:13:15
Speaker 2: How'd you meet your Puerto Rican wife?
00:13:16
Speaker 3: Met her at this place, this bar in Brooklyn called Place to Beach. It was in Coney Island.
00:13:21
Speaker 1: No hipsters, right? Coney Island.
00:13:23
Speaker 3: And I walked up to her. And she was beautiful. I was intimidated by her. And she goes, I go, what do you do for work? And she goes, I'm a Zumba instructor. And so I told her I was a salsa instructor, which is a lie. And she was like, prove it. And I did not expect that. So then I faked an injury. I said, I can't do it right now, blah, blah, blah. And I got her laughing. And actually, she left the bar that night without giving me her phone number. She wouldn't give me her number for whatever reason. Then like a week later, she messaged me on Instagram saying, and gave me her phone number, but she only gave me six digits. She made me guess the last digit. I went through all nine numbers, texting people, hey, is this Jasmine?
00:14:01
Speaker 1: Is this Jasmine?
00:14:02
Speaker 3: People were just writing back, who the fuck is this?
00:14:05
Speaker 1: She broke my balls.
00:14:06
Speaker 3: But that was, you know, 11 years ago, and now we got.
00:14:09
Speaker 1: Kids, whole family, you know.
00:14:11
Speaker 2: So you finally got the number right?
00:14:13
Speaker 1: I finally got the number.
00:14:14
Speaker 3: The last digit was zero, but I started at one. I was texting, I started at one, two, three, but it was zero. So it took me about three hours to finally get a response.
00:14:23
Speaker 1: From her, but we got it.
00:14:24
Speaker 2: It was worth it.
00:14:25
Speaker 1: It was worth it, yeah.
00:14:26
Speaker 2: And then the first date, what happened?
00:14:28
Speaker 1: First date, you know, I took her to one of my comedy shows.
00:14:32
Speaker 3: That was a stupid idea. I took her to a comedy show at this place, McGuire's, all the way out in Long Island. I bombed in front of her, but I think she felt.
00:14:40
Speaker 1: Bad for me. And she, so she let me go on another date.
00:14:44
Speaker 3: And then real quick, like, you know, a month or two in, we, you know, started getting real serious. Then she, we conceived our first daughter. And then, you know, so it was like right out of the gate. It was one of those things where like, you know, met this girl, you know, all the people in my life, my friends, my family, everybody was like, you.
00:15:02
Speaker 1: Know, I said, I just met this girl. She's pregnant, whatever. And I was like, that's crazy. Don't do it.
00:15:06
Speaker 3: It's going to, but it was only my father who was like, I think, I think that's the one.
00:15:10
Speaker 1: I know it's nuts.
00:15:11
Speaker 3: You have a baby with her right away, but I'm telling you there's something about that girl. I think you should do it. And now here we are 13 years later.
00:15:17
Speaker 1: He was right.
00:15:17
Speaker 2: God bless.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you.
00:15:19
Speaker 3: Nick's been coughing. Here's what you guys don't know. I don't know if we'll make the show.
00:15:22
Speaker 1: Nick's been coughing for the last 15 minutes.
00:15:24
Speaker 2: What the fuck? I can't get a word in. But it's all right. It's about him. I want to get to know Chris DiStefano.
00:15:28
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:15:28
Speaker 2: He thought I was half retarded before.
00:15:31
Speaker 3: Now I think the four of y'all did after meeting you.
00:15:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like me and your dad could have been friends.
00:15:36
Speaker 1: How about this? I'll take them.
00:15:38
Speaker 3: I want to keep, I still am trying for the life of me to get a sitcom on the air. And I had told Vito this. If we had ever gotten on the air, didn't make it, we were saying you would be the perfect guy to play my dad if you had been interested.
00:15:50
Speaker 2: Listen, I had two pilots years ago, Chris. Yeah. One with the WB that should have got on the air, didn't get on the air, got me a deal at CBS. And then on CBS I got watered down because, you know, they're a bunch of wusses.
00:16:02
Speaker 1: But you know what?
00:16:03
Speaker 4: I agree.
00:16:04
Speaker 2: I think you're sitcom material. I think you could do it. I've never seen you act, but I think you could do it. But I could play your dad.
00:16:11
Speaker 1: You could play my dad. You could help me with the acting. Sure. Because you're about 20-something years older.
00:16:15
Speaker 2: Can you write, too?
00:16:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure. We've got to write all your stand-up. I've got to write it all, baby. Right.
00:16:18
Speaker 2: Have you acted before?
00:16:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
00:16:20
Speaker 3: I'm known as Chrissy Pilots, Chrissy One and Done. Either I act in the pilot, it doesn't make it, or I get on, it gets one season, and they tell me to get the fuck.
00:16:28
Speaker 1: Out of there.
00:16:29
Speaker 2: What had one season?
00:16:30
Speaker 1: The show Benders.
00:16:31
Speaker 3: It was called on IFC. It was a hockey show. They said it was a guarantee, two seasons, don't worry about it. After the first season, numbers bombed, didn't get on, but.
00:16:40
Speaker 2: Was that a network show?
00:16:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, IFC.
00:16:43
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:16:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, IFC cable.
00:16:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:16:44
Speaker 3: You know?
00:16:45
Speaker 1: But most of my work is stand-up podcasting. That's all right. You know, that's what I do.
00:16:48
Speaker 2: I'd do a series with you.
00:16:49
Speaker 1: Well, come on. Why not?
00:16:50
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:16:50
Speaker 1: One other thing.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: I hear you're a big Met fan.
00:16:54
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:16:54
Speaker 1: Are you Yankees?
00:16:55
Speaker 2: What do you mean? Am I Yankees? You don't know what kind of Yankee fan I am? No, I know.
00:16:58
Speaker 1: Yes, of course.
00:16:59
Speaker 3: I know.
00:16:59
Speaker 1: It was a joke.
00:17:00
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:17:01
Speaker 1: It was a joke? Yeah, yeah. Of course.
00:17:04
Speaker 2: So, are you a hardcore Met fan?
00:17:07
Speaker 1: So, here's my story, right? So, I know... Here's, because I love.
00:17:12
Speaker 3: My fandom for sports, specifically, I have unwavering, undying love for the New York Knicks and the New.
00:17:18
Speaker 1: York Giants in football, right?
00:17:19
Speaker 2: Oh, okay. That's your love.
00:17:21
Speaker 1: These are my love.
00:17:22
Speaker 2: You upset last night, that debacle?
00:17:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was one of the worst. Hi, how are you? Thank you.
00:17:29
Speaker 2: The women like you. They like you.
00:17:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:17:32
Speaker 3: Well, too bad I have a wife, and then even if you get through that, I'm actually gay.
00:17:38
Speaker 1: You are.
00:17:39
Speaker 2: I might be with you.
00:17:40
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
00:17:40
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:17:41
Speaker 1: So what happened was, so, you know, love these teams. Baseball, I always loved.
00:17:46
Speaker 3: My father's from the Bronx, but I was born and raised in Queens. So I always had my mother wanting to be a Mets fan, but my father's like, this kid's going to be a Yankees fan.
00:17:53
Speaker 1: He's from the Bronx. So I was rooted for the Yankees. Never, ever, ever hated the Mets.
00:17:57
Speaker 3: Never. Never. But I hated the Red Sox and the Phillies. But I always liked, you know, New York City. I was always about my city first.
00:18:03
Speaker 2: Right.
00:18:04
Speaker 1: That's the way I always thought about it. So anyway, the Mets come around.
00:18:08
Speaker 3: I do a stand-up show, a private show for the owner of the Mets, Steve Cohen, the Cohen family. And we really hit it off. It's a good, we have a fun time. I became friends with their family. The Mets started inviting me, my wife, and my kids to Mets games, treating us like Royalty.
00:18:23
Speaker 1: I mean, the.
00:18:23
Speaker 3: Cohen family couldn't have been more kind. I mean, the absolute kindest people you can meet. And then the people who were giving me tickets at the Yankee game start to get upset that I'm going to Mets games, start talking shit, start sending me texts.
00:18:36
Speaker 1: And then the big thing was what.
00:18:38
Speaker 2: Happened was I brought... What were the Yankees saying?
00:18:41
Speaker 1: They were just being like, man, are you a fucking Mets fan now?
00:18:43
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I'm going to the Mets games because I'm sitting in a suite with my family. You don't want to do that for me. Not that, I mean, I love going to Yankee games.
00:18:50
Speaker 1: I was appreciative.
00:18:51
Speaker 3: But this lady's just talking shit. Then she's telling me to delete her number.
00:18:54
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck you. So whatever. But I don't even care. The problem was, is what happened is this.
00:19:00
Speaker 2: What's the problem?
00:19:01
Speaker 3: We're there with my son. We're on the field at Yankee State. Yankees Mets at Yankee Stadium. I'm with the Cohen family. I'm with the son, right?
00:19:08
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:19:10
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, my son goes to pick, put his hand in the dirt, right? Just to pick up a little dirt.
00:19:14
Speaker 1: From Yankee Stadium. It's like a speck, like this, right?
00:19:17
Speaker 3: Security guard comes running over, starts screaming at him. Screaming at him, don't touch the dirt, blah, blah, blah. The Cohen family says, hey, he's with us.
00:19:25
Speaker 2: And that's the new Yankee Stadium.
00:19:26
Speaker 1: That's the new Yankee Stadium.
00:19:27
Speaker 2: Which has no history.
00:19:28
Speaker 3: Right, there's no security guard screaming. And so the Mets guys are like, tells my.
00:19:33
Speaker 1: Stepson, he's like, listen.
00:19:35
Speaker 3: I'll give you the fucking mound of dirt from the pitcher's mound at Citi Field and that for me.
00:19:39
Speaker 4: Because you disrespected the family I was like fuck you I'm done I'm finished and then I heard Juan Soto went to the Mets over the Yankees because of a security guard being an asshole and it was that guy.
00:19:51
Speaker 2: Really?
00:19:51
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, it was that guy.
00:19:52
Speaker 2: They're a bit much.
00:19:53
Speaker 1: They're a lot.
00:19:54
Speaker 2: That's why I don't sit in the legend seats. I don't sit with those rich mummies.
00:19:58
Speaker 1: I don't want to be down there. You sit with Little Mo.
00:19:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, I sit. Well, I just sit like in the Delta Club. I don't even sit. I stand.
00:20:03
Speaker 1: Stand up, yeah.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to be subjected to that shit.
00:20:06
Speaker 1: Right.
00:20:06
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Because I'm a real fan.
00:20:08
Speaker 1: Right, 100%.
00:20:08
Speaker 2: I don't want to be told I can't curse, I can't do that, I can't do that.
00:20:11
Speaker 1: No, no.
00:20:11
Speaker 2: And that's why, like, sometimes they don't really love me because I'm honest.
00:20:15
Speaker 3: Right.
00:20:16
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
00:20:17
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:17
Speaker 2: I'm not a celebrity to be there as a celebrity. I'm there as a fan.
00:20:19
Speaker 1: No, you're watching the game.
00:20:20
Speaker 2: I'm watching the game.
00:20:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: I'm truly invested.
00:20:22
Speaker 3: But.
00:20:23
Speaker 2: They should, you know, change their fucking behavior.
00:20:26
Speaker 1: They really should.
00:20:27
Speaker 2: That's wrong.
00:20:27
Speaker 1: That's wrong. That's wrong.
00:20:29
Speaker 2: Don't treat people like that.
00:20:30
Speaker 3: And listen to me, Yankee fan, Yankee stadium owner, whoever that security guard is. You do that to my stepson again, guess who I'm coming down there with?
00:20:37
Speaker 1: Ghazi and the rest of the Albanians.
00:20:39
Speaker 2: That's right.
00:20:40
Speaker 1: So we're coming down with Aksha Bronson. Gutsy?
00:20:43
Speaker 3: Gutsy. Gutsy's coming down and the rest of the Albanians. You don't want to fuck with them. We'll chainsaw your legs.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: Off, you stupid asshole.
00:20:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't fuck with the Albanians.
00:20:50
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
00:20:51
Speaker 3: All right.
00:20:52
Speaker 2: That was a lot of fun, brother.
00:20:53
Speaker 1: Thank you, man.
00:20:53
Speaker 2: Pleasure. Thank you. Even though you flaked one time. Thank you.
00:20:57
Speaker 1: I know. I'm sorry about that.
00:20:58
Speaker 2: I heard you flaked.
Speaker 1: It's good, nice and spicy. There was a guy two blocks away.
00:00:07
Speaker 2: Oh, Nick Totoro? How you doing?
00:00:10
Speaker 1: What's up, cuz? What you doing, buddy? What's up, man? I'm Chris.
00:00:13
Speaker 2: A Mets fan, right?
00:00:14
Speaker 1: I am a Mets fan, yeah.
00:00:15
Speaker 2: Guess it on your mouth.
00:00:17
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's a little jizz. You're eating on the street? I'm eating on the street over a garbage can. A whole pie? The doctor said I have 300 cholesterol, so I thought this would be good.
00:00:26
Speaker 2: You need some company?
00:00:27
Speaker 1: I love some company. Come on.
00:00:29
Speaker 2: I'll break bread with you. Why not? Nice Italian guy.
00:00:32
Speaker 1: I got a whole pie, yeah. Yeah. Got it all over my chin and face.
00:00:35
Speaker 2: Let me get you a napkin.
00:00:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, please, yeah.
00:00:37
Speaker 2: You know, I'm an owner here.
00:00:39
Speaker 1: Really?
00:00:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me get a napkin.
00:00:40
Speaker 3: Amazing.
00:00:41
Speaker 1: Good, I like that.
00:00:42
Speaker 3: I like to see the Italians owning the pizzerias again. All these fucking Albanians buying all the pizzerias in New York.
00:00:47
Speaker 1: Napkins!
00:00:48
Speaker 3: I like Albanian people, but stay away from my pizza. I like that Nick owns Prince Street Pizza. I really like that.
00:00:55
Speaker 1: Small owner. He's a small owner of Prince Street Pizza.
00:00:59
Speaker 2: Oh, it is.
00:01:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, good.
00:01:00
Speaker 3: What's the number one pizzeria in New York City right now?
00:01:02
Speaker 1: Prince Street Pizza. Prince Street Pizza.
00:01:04
Speaker 3: A lot of people talk about Mama Two's, and I say, fuck that. That's the one John Totoro owns. I'm about Nick Totoro.
00:01:11
Speaker 2: Thank you, Chris.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: Thank you, yeah.
00:01:12
Speaker 2: I heard that.
00:01:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was saying, I'm about, you know, I'm about you and what you do, and this is great. I love Prince Street Pizza.
00:01:18
Speaker 1: They got one in L.A. Do you all, a little bit of an owner of the one in L.A.
00:01:21
Speaker 2: Too? No, no, but I'm like an ambassador out there.
00:01:24
Speaker 3: Right.
00:01:24
Speaker 2: That's how it started. I would show up at these openings.
00:01:27
Speaker 3: Right.
00:01:27
Speaker 2: And they'd say I was good luck, I was good luck, and then we got to know each other.
00:01:31
Speaker 3: Right.
00:01:31
Speaker 2: And then I said, I want to get more involved, and they were like.
00:01:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was saying it's good to have Italians owning the pizzerias again because a lot of Albanians are coming in trying to own the pizzerias. Now, I don't have anything bad to say about Albanian people because they're psychos. So I don't need an Albanian guy to see this and then they show up at my comedy show with a chainsaw because I.
00:01:49
Speaker 1: Disrespected the Albanian name.
00:01:50
Speaker 3: I love Albania, the country of Albania, the people of Albania, but stay out of the pizza. I want guys like Nick Totoro and other Italians owning the pizzerias.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: That's all.
00:01:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got a famous rapper who's named Gashi.
00:02:00
Speaker 1: Gashi?
00:02:01
Speaker 2: You heard of this guy? He's an owner, too.
00:02:04
Speaker 1: And he's Albanian?
00:02:04
Speaker 2: He's an Albanian.
00:02:05
Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
00:02:06
Speaker 2: He's pretty big, too.
00:02:07
Speaker 1: I believe. Well, you know what? You got Gashi. I got Action Bronson. He's Albanian. I know him. He'll beat you up in shorts. That guy wears cargo shorts 12 months a year. Yeah, he's tough, Action. That's what it is, yeah.
00:02:16
Speaker 2: How do you know him?
00:02:17
Speaker 1: This guy doesn't know.
00:02:18
Speaker 3: You can always tell a person who has no idea what the fuck is going on.
00:02:22
Speaker 1: New York guys, right? You could always just tell.
00:02:24
Speaker 3: Like I look at a guy like that, he's just so lost.
00:02:26
Speaker 1: He has no idea what's happening.
00:02:28
Speaker 3: He's the kind of guy, like in a situation, like if there was a shootout right now, he'd be the.
00:02:32
Speaker 1: First to go.
00:02:33
Speaker 3: You know like some people, they're just the first to go? Like he's just looking around like an asshole. You're like, this guy's going to get killed immediately. He almost got hit by a pigeon, Nick Nick. This thing just fucking almost landed on your son's hair bun.
00:02:44
Speaker 1: Like, it was close.
00:02:47
Speaker 2: What would you be?
00:02:48
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
00:02:49
Speaker 2: I mean, if there was a shootout, what's your reaction?
00:02:51
Speaker 1: Dude, I'm not going to be the first to go. I'll tell you what. I'm the guy, though, just to preserve my own thing, I'd.
00:02:56
Speaker 3: Hide behind you. I'm the guy who I would hide. I would hide, and I would hide, and I'd negotiate. Yeah. I'm the guy, like I did comedy shows in the Middle East last year. I was the guy that said, if I get into any kind of trouble, I'll submit to Allah temporarily just to get the fuck out of the country. Really?
00:03:13
Speaker 1: So then I'll rip off the hajib.
00:03:14
Speaker 2: You'll do whatever it takes.
00:03:15
Speaker 1: I'll do whatever it takes. You've got to survive.
00:03:16
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to survive until my youngest kid turns 18.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: Are you curious?
00:03:20
Speaker 2: Like when you see, like I'm a bit of a... What do you call that, a voyeur?
00:03:24
Speaker 1: A voyeur, yeah, you're voyeuristic.
00:03:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always like, I'm always looking around. Like one time it got me in trouble when I was a young kid.
00:03:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you want to, what I like to do is I like to take in scenarios and I like to think about what was this street like 250 years ago?
00:03:41
Speaker 1: You ever do that?
00:03:41
Speaker 2: You go into history?
00:03:42
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah.
00:03:43
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
00:03:43
Speaker 3: Like just George, imagine George Washington eating Prince Street pizza with fucking wooden teeth. Yeah.
00:03:47
Speaker 1: How unbelievable that would be? I don't know.
00:03:50
Speaker 3: No. Yeah.
00:03:50
Speaker 1: How far did you get in school?
00:03:52
Speaker 4: Me?
00:03:52
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:03:53
Speaker 2: A little college.
00:03:54
Speaker 1: You got to a little college?
00:03:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: Dude, I would have never fucking thought that. It's amazing. A little college is nice.
00:04:00
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:04:00
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, I'm more, I'm smart in a different way.
00:04:04
Speaker 3: Smart in a different, I like that.
00:04:05
Speaker 2: You know, they pass me along, but they always, they thought I had potential.
00:04:08
Speaker 3: Right.
00:04:08
Speaker 2: But I was like half, I was half really, I don't want to say. But I was like, oh, yeah, it's not a good word.
00:04:14
Speaker 1: You can bleep it out. I would say half mentally. That's the appropriate way to focus. This fucking guy knows what you're talking about. What's up, buddy? There's another one.
00:04:21
Speaker 4: I didn't really.
00:04:22
Speaker 1: But there's another fucking.
00:04:24
Speaker 2: They would say they would say Nick. Nick has potential.
00:04:27
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:27
Speaker 2: You know, and they pass me along.
00:04:29
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:30
Speaker 2: Like in the first grade, I used to run out of school every day.
00:04:32
Speaker 1: Right.
00:04:32
Speaker 2: For a whole year.
00:04:33
Speaker 1: Right.
00:04:34
Speaker 2: And my father tied me to my chair.
00:04:35
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:04:36
Speaker 2: Him and my brother, in front of the whole class.
00:04:37
Speaker 1: John Totoro used to beat you like that?
00:04:39
Speaker 2: No, not John, my brother Ralph.
00:04:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, John's not the kind of guy to do that.
00:04:42
Speaker 2: No, no, my brother's more like.
00:04:43
Speaker 1: Guy's fucking Franz Kafka.
00:04:44
Speaker 2: He's caring.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
00:04:46
Speaker 2: He's intense in a different way.
00:04:47
Speaker 1: He's intense in a different way. See, you wiped me, now I'm going to get you, cuz.
00:04:50
Speaker 2: All right, man.
00:04:50
Speaker 1: See, you got something on here.
00:04:51
Speaker 2: What kind of Italian are you?
00:04:53
Speaker 3: So, I'm the Italian that's mostly not Italian. My last name's DiStefano. I presented myself as Italian. I thought I was fully Italian.
00:05:01
Speaker 2: You're half Irish.
00:05:01
Speaker 1: Half Irish. Ready for this? Even crazier. I have a little bit of Irish, mostly German.
00:05:06
Speaker 2: German?
00:05:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm from Ridgewood, Queens.
00:05:08
Speaker 3: Big time German neighborhood.
00:05:10
Speaker 2: Really?
00:05:10
Speaker 1: Yep, old school. And the problem with my generation... Who's German? Mother?
00:05:15
Speaker 3: Mother and fathers and my father's mother.
00:05:19
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, you got the name DiStefano.
00:05:20
Speaker 3: Right, because my father's father was Italian.
00:05:23
Speaker 2: So you're only a quarter Italian.
00:05:24
Speaker 3: I'm the little, the most minuscule part of me is Italian, but the last name.
00:05:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that name is very Italian.
00:05:31
Speaker 1: It is very Italian, but I- Christopher? But look at my- What's your name? Christopher DiStefano.
00:05:34
Speaker 2: You got nice cheekbones.
00:05:36
Speaker 3: That's, yeah, that's what they, but German people, but I also could, I.
00:05:39
Speaker 1: Look a little fucking, you know what I mean?
00:05:40
Speaker 2: You could be like a Swede or a German.
00:05:42
Speaker 1: Right, 100%. Yeah, but still. Right.
00:05:44
Speaker 2: The name and the look, you got good hair.
00:05:46
Speaker 1: Thank you, I appreciate that.
00:05:47
Speaker 2: You got a Puerto Rican girl.
00:05:49
Speaker 1: I got a Puerto Rican wife, yeah. Yeah. Now what is, now what are you, you're Italian full?
00:05:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, on paper, I'm Italian.
00:05:55
Speaker 1: Right, paper, we got a little Latino in you, right?
00:05:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, we got a little Latino in us, yeah.
00:05:58
Speaker 3: Right, right, right.
00:05:59
Speaker 2: But we're Bades and Sicilian.
00:06:00
Speaker 1: Right, mostly Sicilian.
00:06:02
Speaker 2: No, half Sicilian.
00:06:03
Speaker 1: Half Sicilian.
00:06:04
Speaker 2: Half Bades, but I look more like a Sicilian. I look like a mixed guy.
00:06:07
Speaker 1: You look full Sicilian, yeah, and you got multiple chains on.
00:06:10
Speaker 2: Because when I saw people there... I saw people that looked like me.
00:06:13
Speaker 1: Right.
00:06:14
Speaker 2: Because growing up, people thought I was Puerto Rican, they thought this, they thought that.
00:06:17
Speaker 3: Sure.
00:06:17
Speaker 2: I always looked, I was, my mother looked Irish.
00:06:20
Speaker 3: Right.
00:06:20
Speaker 2: But I was always on the dark side.
00:06:21
Speaker 1: Right, you're always on the dark side, yeah. No, but you look good now, now, and you, and you, look at this fucking truck.
00:06:26
Speaker 2: How do you like the pepperoni?
00:06:28
Speaker 1: Dude, are you kidding me?
00:06:29
Speaker 3: I've eaten these, do you know how many stomach ulcers I've eaten through with these? Because I, you know, I got a bad stomach, but I still eat the spicy pepperoni, it don't matter.
00:06:36
Speaker 2: Oh, we got something in common.
00:06:37
Speaker 1: What happened?
00:06:38
Speaker 2: Oh, I got a bad stomach too.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: But you eat through it. For years. Right.
00:06:42
Speaker 2: What do you got, IBS?
00:06:43
Speaker 1: IBS, fucking, I got everything, dude. You got a lot of stuff, right?
00:06:46
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:06:47
Speaker 2: Have you had diverticulitis?
00:06:48
Speaker 1: No, not yet, but that's coming.
00:06:50
Speaker 2: That's bad.
00:06:52
Speaker 1: You had it?
00:06:52
Speaker 2: Well, I had it. I had the condition.
00:06:54
Speaker 3: Right.
00:06:54
Speaker 2: But thankfully, you know, I haven't had no attacks lately.
00:06:57
Speaker 3: Right.
00:06:58
Speaker 1: How old are you? 64. What? Dude, you look fantastic. I love it, dude.
00:07:04
Speaker 3: 64, and you know what I like? You stay true to who you are. You're dressed right now. You got the whole suit on. You got the two chains.
00:07:10
Speaker 2: You like the zucchini?
00:07:11
Speaker 1: Dude, I like it.
00:07:11
Speaker 2: We're going to get you one. We'll suit you up.
00:07:13
Speaker 1: I would love to do that.
00:07:14
Speaker 2: What are you, a large? Extra large?
00:07:15
Speaker 1: I'm going to say extra large up top, large at the bottom. I love you on that show.
00:07:19
Speaker 2: Which one? Blue Bloods?
00:07:21
Speaker 1: Blue Bloods.
00:07:21
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I was only on a few years.
00:07:23
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:07:24
Speaker 2: You were a sergeant there, right? That's right.
00:07:25
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
00:07:26
Speaker 2: Say hi to Chris.
00:07:27
Speaker 1: Hey, what's up, man? Chris, how you doing?
00:07:28
Speaker 2: My name is Carmine, but they.
00:07:31
Speaker 1: You know me as Fat Carmine. Stack? Fat. Fat Carmine, but you lost all the weight now.
00:07:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're not fat no more. You know who's got good heroes if you ever around?
00:07:39
Speaker 1: Parisi, 198 Mike.
00:07:41
Speaker 2: Parisi?
00:07:42
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:07:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, Parisi's fantastic. I know Parisi big time, yeah.
00:07:45
Speaker 2: He's a New York kid.
00:07:46
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:07:46
Speaker 2: Big stand-up.
00:07:47
Speaker 1: I love Parisi, yeah. Nice seeing you, buddy. That's it.
00:07:50
Speaker 2: Thank you.
00:07:50
Speaker 1: Thank you, brother. That's it.
00:07:52
Speaker 2: All right, buddy.
00:07:52
Speaker 1: That's GLP-1 Carmine. That's who he is. That's his new name. He's a... What's up, brother?
00:07:58
Speaker 2: You know who you look like a little bit?
00:07:59
Speaker 1: Come on, tell me. Hit me here. A goalie. Right.
00:08:02
Speaker 2: Henry Lundquist.
00:08:03
Speaker 1: Lundquist.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: Holy shit.
00:08:04
Speaker 1: Come on, baby.
00:08:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm talking about... A Swede. A Swede. A Swede Italian. Swede Italian. He ain't some fucking guy.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what it.
00:08:11
Speaker 2: Thank you. Got the dimples, everything. Look at that. I mean, if I was a.
00:08:14
Speaker 1: I gotta get in movies like you. With a face like this.
00:08:16
Speaker 3: Why not?
00:08:17
Speaker 2: You got a lot of energy.
00:08:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm on a.
00:08:18
Speaker 2: I can't even keep up with you.
00:08:19
Speaker 1: Podcasts and stand-up. I gotta get in the fucking movies.
00:08:22
Speaker 2: What do you think of Little Malt?
00:08:23
Speaker 1: I love Little Moe.
00:08:24
Speaker 3: One day I'm going to fucking knock him out with a semolina bread.
00:08:28
Speaker 2: That's his shit.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: I know, but one day I'm going to reverse it on him and I'm going to load up a semolina bread with marbles and fucking crack him over the head.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, he was here the other day and we're friends. I get exhausted with him.
00:08:38
Speaker 1: You have great energy.
00:08:41
Speaker 2: But his energy is like, he sucks you.
00:08:43
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no.
00:08:44
Speaker 2: I feel depleted by him.
00:08:45
Speaker 1: His energy.
00:08:46
Speaker 2: He's so funny.
00:08:47
Speaker 3: His energy is a mental health. His energy is institutionalized energy. He's got an actual psychiatric condition. I'm just having fun with you.
00:08:55
Speaker 2: I can calm it down.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: He can't turn it off. He's a lunatic.
00:08:58
Speaker 2: How long are you doing the comedy?
00:09:00
Speaker 3: I started in 2010. So what is it, 15, 16 years? I was a physical therapist. And then I got into stand-up comedy.
00:09:09
Speaker 2: You were a physical therapist?
00:09:10
Speaker 1: I was, yeah. Actually, I still technically am. I still have my license.
00:09:13
Speaker 2: Everybody does something. So how do you go from physical therapy.
00:09:17
Speaker 1: I just, I started doing open mics one day.
00:09:19
Speaker 2: How old were you?
00:09:20
Speaker 1: 25?
00:09:20
Speaker 3: I was 24 when I started. I got my physical therapy license first part of 24.
00:09:26
Speaker 2: Who gave you, who told you to go do open mics? Who gave you the balls to get up there and do that? Was it something you were thinking about?
00:09:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, so what happened was, when I was young, so what I would do.
00:09:36
Speaker 2: Eccentric?
00:09:37
Speaker 3: Kind of, what I would do a lot. is when I, anytime I would have like any anxiety or like a defense mechanism.
00:09:44
Speaker 1: I would always turn to humor.
00:09:45
Speaker 3: And my mother would always tell me, you know, you got a sense of humor, you always turn to comedy. And so it was always in my head. But then when I became a physical therapist, and I kind of was like, I went through, because I kept using school as an excuse. I kept saying, oh, I'll start stand-up next year. I got to get through school, I got to get through school. But then I got through school. Then I got my physical therapy license. And now I'm looking down the barrel of my life saying, you can either be a physical therapist for the rest of your life, which is a great career, Or you could take a shot and do stand-up, which you always want to do.
00:10:13
Speaker 1: You know, you got no more time left.
00:10:14
Speaker 3: So I started to do stand-up at 24, and then I wound up, you know, little by little becoming professional at it. And I still am a licensed physical therapist, but I haven't practiced physical therapy since like 2013. Yeah?
00:10:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've been doing it.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: So you started in the clubs?
00:10:29
Speaker 3: Clubs, yeah, the first place I ever did was this place called the Maui Taco, which is, it's gone now, but I was a fucking taco restaurant in the.
00:10:36
Speaker 1: Back, you know, doing comedy.
00:10:38
Speaker 2: How long was your act?
00:10:38
Speaker 3: Bombing. Dude, I could barely do six minutes. I couldn't do anything, you know? I was, you know, Maui Taco. What's up, cuz?
00:10:47
Speaker 1: What's up?
00:10:47
Speaker 2: Dom.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: Hey, Dom.
00:10:49
Speaker 2: Hey, Dom, buddy.
00:10:50
Speaker 1: You ever meet Fat Carmine? Is he a neighborhood guy?
00:10:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was a neighborhood guy.
00:10:54
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:55
Speaker 1: You know him?
00:10:55
Speaker 2: He said he was fat at one time.
00:10:57
Speaker 1: He told us he was fat.
00:10:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not fat no more.
00:10:59
Speaker 1: He's on Moonjaro now, he looks like.
00:11:00
Speaker 2: His brother's Butchie the Hat.
00:11:03
Speaker 1: Really?
00:11:03
Speaker 2: That's his brother?
00:11:05
Speaker 1: What's his brother's name?
00:11:05
Speaker 2: Oh, Butchie the Hat. He's a neighborhood legend.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: Oh, Butchie the Hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:08
Speaker 2: You've heard of him, right?
00:11:09
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:11:10
Speaker 3: What?
00:11:10
Speaker 1: Is he Nogashi, the fucking Albanian guy who owns this?
00:11:14
Speaker 2: He's a trash Albanian.
00:11:17
Speaker 1: I would say no more Albanians in pizza, only the Italians.
00:11:19
Speaker 3: Why they whacked out, the Albanians? I grew up in Ridgewood, Queens. A lot of Albanians, right? One of the craziest things that's ever happened, this is a true story. Playing ball, basketball at this park, Farmer's Oval, and we're playing, and, you know, great, the Albanian kids and us always got along, whatever. One of my friends goes up for a layup, gets fouled hard by this Albanian kid, right? They get into a little pushing match, whatever. So this Albanian kid says, I'm coming back with my brothers. Whatever, people say that shit all the time. It's in the heat of the moment. It's fucking August and playing basketball. About 30 minutes later, a truckload of Albanians I swear to God, they had the flag coming down the street in the back of like a Toyota, like with the open back, like the shit you see in ISIS, right?
00:12:03
Speaker 1: People coming out, full Albanian. One guy starts running after my friend with a chainsaw.
00:12:08
Speaker 3: Really? Yeah, me and these other, me and everybody took off, ran away. And from that moment on, I said, I don't mess with the Albanians.
00:12:14
Speaker 2: This don't give a shit, huh?
00:12:16
Speaker 3: They'll saw your arm off over a bad foul call.
00:12:19
Speaker 1: Holy mackerel.
00:12:20
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I don't mess with the Albanians. I shout out the Albanians all day. I'm good with the Albanians. I love the Albanians.
00:12:26
Speaker 1: Yeah. I got no issues.
00:12:28
Speaker 2: So you're German and Italian.
00:12:29
Speaker 1: Italian, yeah. German, Italian.
00:12:32
Speaker 2: But you carry yourself as an Italian.
00:12:33
Speaker 1: As an Italian because it's the New York way. You know what I mean?
00:12:36
Speaker 3: My father from the Bronx, my mother from Queens, raised.
00:12:39
Speaker 1: My wife's Puerto Rican.
00:12:41
Speaker 2: What's the German name?
00:12:41
Speaker 1: I'm circumcised. I'm Jewish.
00:12:43
Speaker 2: You're not Jewish.
00:12:44
Speaker 1: I'm not Jewish, but I'm circumcised. So I'm just saying I got a little bit of a.
00:12:46
Speaker 2: Why are you circumcised?
00:12:47
Speaker 1: They fucking.
00:12:47
Speaker 2: You're supposed to be Jewish.
00:12:49
Speaker 1: You're not Jewish. You're circumcised, right?
00:12:52
Speaker 2: I'm not Jewish.
00:12:52
Speaker 1: You're not circumcised?
00:12:54
Speaker 2: What do you mean I'm not circumcised?
00:12:55
Speaker 1: You got to be circumcised. All Italians are circumcised. Yeah. Nick, Nick, are you circumcised? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to get clipped. What are we doing over here?
00:13:01
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:13:02
Speaker 2: I mean, you're circumcised.
00:13:03
Speaker 1: Of course, dude. Are you kidding me? I'm fucking loose. I got no hat.
00:13:05
Speaker 2: Why'd you say I'm the Jewish?
00:13:06
Speaker 3: I said I'm circumcised, meaning like it was a Jewish thing. Like, because, you know, because I said I got, I'm Italian. I got a Puerto Rican wife and I'm circumcised. So I'm encompassing New York.
00:13:15
Speaker 2: How'd you meet your Puerto Rican wife?
00:13:16
Speaker 3: Met her at this place, this bar in Brooklyn called Place to Beach. It was in Coney Island.
00:13:21
Speaker 1: No hipsters, right? Coney Island.
00:13:23
Speaker 3: And I walked up to her. And she was beautiful. I was intimidated by her. And she goes, I go, what do you do for work? And she goes, I'm a Zumba instructor. And so I told her I was a salsa instructor, which is a lie. And she was like, prove it. And I did not expect that. So then I faked an injury. I said, I can't do it right now, blah, blah, blah. And I got her laughing. And actually, she left the bar that night without giving me her phone number. She wouldn't give me her number for whatever reason. Then like a week later, she messaged me on Instagram saying, and gave me her phone number, but she only gave me six digits. She made me guess the last digit. I went through all nine numbers, texting people, hey, is this Jasmine?
00:14:01
Speaker 1: Is this Jasmine?
00:14:02
Speaker 3: People were just writing back, who the fuck is this?
00:14:05
Speaker 1: She broke my balls.
00:14:06
Speaker 3: But that was, you know, 11 years ago, and now we got.
00:14:09
Speaker 1: Kids, whole family, you know.
00:14:11
Speaker 2: So you finally got the number right?
00:14:13
Speaker 1: I finally got the number.
00:14:14
Speaker 3: The last digit was zero, but I started at one. I was texting, I started at one, two, three, but it was zero. So it took me about three hours to finally get a response.
00:14:23
Speaker 1: From her, but we got it.
00:14:24
Speaker 2: It was worth it.
00:14:25
Speaker 1: It was worth it, yeah.
00:14:26
Speaker 2: And then the first date, what happened?
00:14:28
Speaker 1: First date, you know, I took her to one of my comedy shows.
00:14:32
Speaker 3: That was a stupid idea. I took her to a comedy show at this place, McGuire's, all the way out in Long Island. I bombed in front of her, but I think she felt.
00:14:40
Speaker 1: Bad for me. And she, so she let me go on another date.
00:14:44
Speaker 3: And then real quick, like, you know, a month or two in, we, you know, started getting real serious. Then she, we conceived our first daughter. And then, you know, so it was like right out of the gate. It was one of those things where like, you know, met this girl, you know, all the people in my life, my friends, my family, everybody was like, you.
00:15:02
Speaker 1: Know, I said, I just met this girl. She's pregnant, whatever. And I was like, that's crazy. Don't do it.
00:15:06
Speaker 3: It's going to, but it was only my father who was like, I think, I think that's the one.
00:15:10
Speaker 1: I know it's nuts.
00:15:11
Speaker 3: You have a baby with her right away, but I'm telling you there's something about that girl. I think you should do it. And now here we are 13 years later.
00:15:17
Speaker 1: He was right.
00:15:17
Speaker 2: God bless.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you.
00:15:19
Speaker 3: Nick's been coughing. Here's what you guys don't know. I don't know if we'll make the show.
00:15:22
Speaker 1: Nick's been coughing for the last 15 minutes.
00:15:24
Speaker 2: What the fuck? I can't get a word in. But it's all right. It's about him. I want to get to know Chris DiStefano.
00:15:28
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:15:28
Speaker 2: He thought I was half retarded before.
00:15:31
Speaker 3: Now I think the four of y'all did after meeting you.
00:15:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like me and your dad could have been friends.
00:15:36
Speaker 1: How about this? I'll take them.
00:15:38
Speaker 3: I want to keep, I still am trying for the life of me to get a sitcom on the air. And I had told Vito this. If we had ever gotten on the air, didn't make it, we were saying you would be the perfect guy to play my dad if you had been interested.
00:15:50
Speaker 2: Listen, I had two pilots years ago, Chris. Yeah. One with the WB that should have got on the air, didn't get on the air, got me a deal at CBS. And then on CBS I got watered down because, you know, they're a bunch of wusses.
00:16:02
Speaker 1: But you know what?
00:16:03
Speaker 4: I agree.
00:16:04
Speaker 2: I think you're sitcom material. I think you could do it. I've never seen you act, but I think you could do it. But I could play your dad.
00:16:11
Speaker 1: You could play my dad. You could help me with the acting. Sure. Because you're about 20-something years older.
00:16:15
Speaker 2: Can you write, too?
00:16:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure. We've got to write all your stand-up. I've got to write it all, baby. Right.
00:16:18
Speaker 2: Have you acted before?
00:16:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
00:16:20
Speaker 3: I'm known as Chrissy Pilots, Chrissy One and Done. Either I act in the pilot, it doesn't make it, or I get on, it gets one season, and they tell me to get the fuck.
00:16:28
Speaker 1: Out of there.
00:16:29
Speaker 2: What had one season?
00:16:30
Speaker 1: The show Benders.
00:16:31
Speaker 3: It was called on IFC. It was a hockey show. They said it was a guarantee, two seasons, don't worry about it. After the first season, numbers bombed, didn't get on, but.
00:16:40
Speaker 2: Was that a network show?
00:16:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, IFC.
00:16:43
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:16:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, IFC cable.
00:16:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:16:44
Speaker 3: You know?
00:16:45
Speaker 1: But most of my work is stand-up podcasting. That's all right. You know, that's what I do.
00:16:48
Speaker 2: I'd do a series with you.
00:16:49
Speaker 1: Well, come on. Why not?
00:16:50
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:16:50
Speaker 1: One other thing.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: I hear you're a big Met fan.
00:16:54
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:16:54
Speaker 1: Are you Yankees?
00:16:55
Speaker 2: What do you mean? Am I Yankees? You don't know what kind of Yankee fan I am? No, I know.
00:16:58
Speaker 1: Yes, of course.
00:16:59
Speaker 3: I know.
00:16:59
Speaker 1: It was a joke.
00:17:00
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:17:01
Speaker 1: It was a joke? Yeah, yeah. Of course.
00:17:04
Speaker 2: So, are you a hardcore Met fan?
00:17:07
Speaker 1: So, here's my story, right? So, I know... Here's, because I love.
00:17:12
Speaker 3: My fandom for sports, specifically, I have unwavering, undying love for the New York Knicks and the New.
00:17:18
Speaker 1: York Giants in football, right?
00:17:19
Speaker 2: Oh, okay. That's your love.
00:17:21
Speaker 1: These are my love.
00:17:22
Speaker 2: You upset last night, that debacle?
00:17:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was one of the worst. Hi, how are you? Thank you.
00:17:29
Speaker 2: The women like you. They like you.
00:17:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:17:32
Speaker 3: Well, too bad I have a wife, and then even if you get through that, I'm actually gay.
00:17:38
Speaker 1: You are.
00:17:39
Speaker 2: I might be with you.
00:17:40
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
00:17:40
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:17:41
Speaker 1: So what happened was, so, you know, love these teams. Baseball, I always loved.
00:17:46
Speaker 3: My father's from the Bronx, but I was born and raised in Queens. So I always had my mother wanting to be a Mets fan, but my father's like, this kid's going to be a Yankees fan.
00:17:53
Speaker 1: He's from the Bronx. So I was rooted for the Yankees. Never, ever, ever hated the Mets.
00:17:57
Speaker 3: Never. Never. But I hated the Red Sox and the Phillies. But I always liked, you know, New York City. I was always about my city first.
00:18:03
Speaker 2: Right.
00:18:04
Speaker 1: That's the way I always thought about it. So anyway, the Mets come around.
00:18:08
Speaker 3: I do a stand-up show, a private show for the owner of the Mets, Steve Cohen, the Cohen family. And we really hit it off. It's a good, we have a fun time. I became friends with their family. The Mets started inviting me, my wife, and my kids to Mets games, treating us like Royalty.
00:18:23
Speaker 1: I mean, the.
00:18:23
Speaker 3: Cohen family couldn't have been more kind. I mean, the absolute kindest people you can meet. And then the people who were giving me tickets at the Yankee game start to get upset that I'm going to Mets games, start talking shit, start sending me texts.
00:18:36
Speaker 1: And then the big thing was what.
00:18:38
Speaker 2: Happened was I brought... What were the Yankees saying?
00:18:41
Speaker 1: They were just being like, man, are you a fucking Mets fan now?
00:18:43
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I'm going to the Mets games because I'm sitting in a suite with my family. You don't want to do that for me. Not that, I mean, I love going to Yankee games.
00:18:50
Speaker 1: I was appreciative.
00:18:51
Speaker 3: But this lady's just talking shit. Then she's telling me to delete her number.
00:18:54
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck you. So whatever. But I don't even care. The problem was, is what happened is this.
00:19:00
Speaker 2: What's the problem?
00:19:01
Speaker 3: We're there with my son. We're on the field at Yankee State. Yankees Mets at Yankee Stadium. I'm with the Cohen family. I'm with the son, right?
00:19:08
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:19:10
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, my son goes to pick, put his hand in the dirt, right? Just to pick up a little dirt.
00:19:14
Speaker 1: From Yankee Stadium. It's like a speck, like this, right?
00:19:17
Speaker 3: Security guard comes running over, starts screaming at him. Screaming at him, don't touch the dirt, blah, blah, blah. The Cohen family says, hey, he's with us.
00:19:25
Speaker 2: And that's the new Yankee Stadium.
00:19:26
Speaker 1: That's the new Yankee Stadium.
00:19:27
Speaker 2: Which has no history.
00:19:28
Speaker 3: Right, there's no security guard screaming. And so the Mets guys are like, tells my.
00:19:33
Speaker 1: Stepson, he's like, listen.
00:19:35
Speaker 3: I'll give you the fucking mound of dirt from the pitcher's mound at Citi Field and that for me.
00:19:39
Speaker 4: Because you disrespected the family I was like fuck you I'm done I'm finished and then I heard Juan Soto went to the Mets over the Yankees because of a security guard being an asshole and it was that guy.
00:19:51
Speaker 2: Really?
00:19:51
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, it was that guy.
00:19:52
Speaker 2: They're a bit much.
00:19:53
Speaker 1: They're a lot.
00:19:54
Speaker 2: That's why I don't sit in the legend seats. I don't sit with those rich mummies.
00:19:58
Speaker 1: I don't want to be down there. You sit with Little Mo.
00:19:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, I sit. Well, I just sit like in the Delta Club. I don't even sit. I stand.
00:20:03
Speaker 1: Stand up, yeah.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to be subjected to that shit.
00:20:06
Speaker 1: Right.
00:20:06
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Because I'm a real fan.
00:20:08
Speaker 1: Right, 100%.
00:20:08
Speaker 2: I don't want to be told I can't curse, I can't do that, I can't do that.
00:20:11
Speaker 1: No, no.
00:20:11
Speaker 2: And that's why, like, sometimes they don't really love me because I'm honest.
00:20:15
Speaker 3: Right.
00:20:16
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
00:20:17
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:17
Speaker 2: I'm not a celebrity to be there as a celebrity. I'm there as a fan.
00:20:19
Speaker 1: No, you're watching the game.
00:20:20
Speaker 2: I'm watching the game.
00:20:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: I'm truly invested.
00:20:22
Speaker 3: But.
00:20:23
Speaker 2: They should, you know, change their fucking behavior.
00:20:26
Speaker 1: They really should.
00:20:27
Speaker 2: That's wrong.
00:20:27
Speaker 1: That's wrong. That's wrong.
00:20:29
Speaker 2: Don't treat people like that.
00:20:30
Speaker 3: And listen to me, Yankee fan, Yankee stadium owner, whoever that security guard is. You do that to my stepson again, guess who I'm coming down there with?
00:20:37
Speaker 1: Ghazi and the rest of the Albanians.
00:20:39
Speaker 2: That's right.
00:20:40
Speaker 1: So we're coming down with Aksha Bronson. Gutsy?
00:20:43
Speaker 3: Gutsy. Gutsy's coming down and the rest of the Albanians. You don't want to fuck with them. We'll chainsaw your legs.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: Off, you stupid asshole.
00:20:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't fuck with the Albanians.
00:20:50
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
00:20:51
Speaker 3: All right.
00:20:52
Speaker 2: That was a lot of fun, brother.
00:20:53
Speaker 1: Thank you, man.
00:20:53
Speaker 2: Pleasure. Thank you. Even though you flaked one time. Thank you.
00:20:57
Speaker 1: I know. I'm sorry about that.
00:20:58
Speaker 2: I heard you flaked.
