WEBVTT
1
00:00:05.009 --> 00:00:08.432
Hello everyone and welcome to Cuppa.TV.
2
00:00:08.612 --> 00:00:10.934
It is Cookie here and I am back.
3
00:00:10.974 --> 00:00:17.340
Hopefully everyone is getting ready for today's very important conversation about grey area drinking.
4
00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:25.367
Now I'm going to be bringing in Sarah very soon but before I do so I just want to acknowledge the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and recognise their continuing connections
5
00:00:25.887 --> 00:00:27.728
to lands, water and community.
6
00:00:27.748 --> 00:00:45.014
I always want to pay my respects to them and to their elders, both past and present, and always want to say thanks to the First Nations elders and storytellers who have graced their presence here within Kappa to share their wisdom with us in what is one of the best foundations of wellbeing that I have heard.
7
00:00:45.034 --> 00:00:46.874
So thank you everyone for being a part of today.
8
00:00:47.254 --> 00:00:48.735
This show is called Pick My Brain.
9
00:00:48.755 --> 00:00:50.375
If this is your first time here, welcome.
10
00:00:51.096 --> 00:00:52.256
What we get to do is get to pick
11
00:00:52.316 --> 00:00:55.659
the brain of some of our beautiful experts that we have here at KUPPER.
12
00:00:56.039 --> 00:00:58.841
And Sarah, this is her second appearance at KUPPER.
13
00:00:58.861 --> 00:01:01.363
It's been a few years, but I can't wait to bring her back in.
14
00:01:02.024 --> 00:01:05.587
Sarah is one of the world's leading high performance and wellbeing change agents.
15
00:01:06.467 --> 00:01:10.671
She has transformed thousands of lives through her groundbreaking programs.
16
00:01:10.711 --> 00:01:12.592
And we're going to chat more about that at the end.
17
00:01:13.092 --> 00:01:15.354
She's a bestselling author and global speaker.
18
00:01:15.374 --> 00:01:18.797
Sarah captivates audiences with her authenticity, personal story,
19
00:01:19.150 --> 00:01:21.611
and practical strategies for lasting change.
20
00:01:22.071 --> 00:01:24.512
She's a trusted voice across major media.
21
00:01:25.272 --> 00:01:33.635
Her book, when we last time interviewed, Beyond Booze, is an international bestseller, helping people redefine their relationship with alcohol and wellbeing.
22
00:01:34.075 --> 00:01:36.896
Let's bring in Sarah right now.
23
00:01:36.996 --> 00:01:38.217
Sarah, welcome back to Cuppa.
24
00:01:38.237 --> 00:01:38.957
How are you?
25
00:01:39.717 --> 00:01:40.378
I'm so well.
26
00:01:40.418 --> 00:01:40.878
How are you?
27
00:01:42.338 --> 00:01:43.479
I am very well, my friend.
28
00:01:44.139 --> 00:01:44.699
I remember.
29
00:01:45.159 --> 00:01:46.880
I remember our first ever catch-up.
30
00:01:47.632 --> 00:01:52.213
because it was at the time when I had just given up alcohol.
31
00:01:53.273 --> 00:01:59.115
And I am proud to say I'm about two years in now and I haven't turned back.
32
00:02:00.095 --> 00:02:08.597
Uh, I remember that conversation with you, Sarah, and it's sat with me through this entire time, even in those moments of, oh, maybe I'll have a drink.
33
00:02:09.217 --> 00:02:10.838
Um, I did remember that conversation.
34
00:02:10.858 --> 00:02:12.158
I just wanted to say thank you to you.
35
00:02:13.292 --> 00:02:16.433
because that did really hit home at a time when I needed it most.
36
00:02:16.493 --> 00:02:18.394
So yeah, just wanted to kick off with that, Sarah.
37
00:02:19.234 --> 00:02:32.198
Well, congratulations, because I know that it is certainly not an easy thing to do in an alcohol centric society to go against the norm and to decide to get alcohol out of your house, out of your life, out of your house, out of everything.
38
00:02:32.758 --> 00:02:38.820
And I know personally how many challenges there will have been along the way to get you to this two years.
39
00:02:38.880 --> 00:02:40.200
And so congratulations.
40
00:02:41.809 --> 00:02:49.455
And I'm super proud of that as well, Sarah, because it was something that I associated everything around and we're going to get into this whole grey area drinking component in a second.
41
00:02:50.236 --> 00:02:56.321
I recently had gone through a divorce at that stage and I knew that if I turned to the bottle, I probably would have gone down a different spiral.
42
00:02:57.021 --> 00:03:12.918
So to hold true to that and to stay that course and now still be here and not even thinking about it and bringing fun back into my life where alcohol is not associated is something that, again, I just want to say thanks to you for.
43
00:03:13.378 --> 00:03:15.539
A very important conversation today, Sarah.
44
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:17.520
People are coming up to the end of the year.
45
00:03:18.421 --> 00:03:19.561
It's that time of year again.
46
00:03:19.641 --> 00:03:20.602
Summer is here.
47
00:03:20.662 --> 00:03:21.883
The sun is shining.
48
00:03:22.643 --> 00:03:24.924
And there is a lot of things going on in people's lives.
49
00:03:24.984 --> 00:03:27.545
And today's topic area is grey area drinking.
50
00:03:27.605 --> 00:03:30.847
So let's just start with the basic thing, right?
51
00:03:30.967 --> 00:03:34.309
What is grey area drinking and how did you come about this notion?
52
00:03:35.281 --> 00:03:35.581
Yeah.
53
00:03:36.002 --> 00:03:43.146
So grey area drinking describes someone's drinking where they're not a take it or leave it drinker.
54
00:03:43.527 --> 00:03:44.968
So let's just take my friend Nat.
55
00:03:45.008 --> 00:03:47.429
You go to the pub with her and you go, Nat, do you want a drink?
56
00:03:47.469 --> 00:03:48.150
And she'll be like...
57
00:03:49.357 --> 00:03:50.437
do I want a drink?
58
00:03:50.457 --> 00:03:51.298
Do I want a drink?
59
00:03:51.318 --> 00:03:52.098
Should I have a beer?
60
00:03:52.118 --> 00:03:53.238
Should I have a Diet Coke?
61
00:03:53.278 --> 00:03:54.099
I'll have a Diet Coke.
62
00:03:54.259 --> 00:03:58.740
Like someone who is not a gray area drinker has no reliance on alcohol.
63
00:03:58.800 --> 00:03:59.760
It's not a crutch for them.
64
00:03:59.800 --> 00:04:02.241
It's not something they tend to in times of adversity.
65
00:04:02.581 --> 00:04:04.982
They just take it or leave it when it suits them.
66
00:04:05.702 --> 00:04:10.245
At the other end of that scale is someone who has physical dependence on alcohol.
67
00:04:10.285 --> 00:04:27.374
So someone who is likely drinking every day, someone who is drinking significant amounts, and someone who needs to have medical support to safely withdraw from alcohol, because alcohol is one of only three substances that the human body can die from withdrawal from if it's not done correctly.
68
00:04:28.094 --> 00:04:31.777
Most people do not sit at either end of that scale.
69
00:04:31.817 --> 00:04:34.599
Let's just say we put numbers to that scale, a one to a 10.
70
00:04:35.080 --> 00:04:38.382
One, someone who doesn't drink or has a glass of champagne at a wedding once a year.
71
00:04:38.823 --> 00:04:43.867
10, someone with physical dependency who needs medical support to safely withdraw from alcohol.
72
00:04:44.187 --> 00:04:46.550
Grey area drinking describes that middle place.
73
00:04:46.910 --> 00:04:50.273
So I would describe it as about a four to an eight on that scale.
74
00:04:50.574 --> 00:04:53.957
So we've got to the point where we're using alcohol for something.
75
00:04:53.997 --> 00:04:55.839
Maybe it's our go-to for stress.
76
00:04:55.899 --> 00:04:58.342
Maybe it's our go-to when we've had an argument with our partner.
77
00:04:58.622 --> 00:05:04.368
Maybe it relieves our social anxiety if we're going to be out in a big group and we're actually a really introverted person.
78
00:05:04.748 --> 00:05:15.052
Maybe it is something that when we've had a terrible day at work and our boss has told us off for something, whatever it is, the go-to is alcohol.
79
00:05:15.612 --> 00:05:18.894
And there are a lot of people who sit in this area.
80
00:05:18.914 --> 00:05:32.719
But because they don't define themselves as being alcoholics or they're not drinking every day, they're not drinking in the morning, they haven't lost their jobs, they haven't lost their homes, they haven't lost their relationships because of alcohol, we are led to believe that therefore it's not a problem.
81
00:05:33.459 --> 00:05:38.001
and work with people in that gray area and have done for many years now.
82
00:05:39.021 --> 00:05:41.122
Yeah, resonate.
83
00:05:41.342 --> 00:05:43.983
There was three layers to my gray area drinking.
84
00:05:44.083 --> 00:05:45.323
One, I used it for creativity.
85
00:05:45.704 --> 00:05:47.924
So if I had to brainstorm a brief, I'd have a wine in my hand.
86
00:05:49.945 --> 00:05:52.966
If I wanted to de-stress or if I wanted to have fun.
87
00:05:53.566 --> 00:05:54.607
Now, those three factors
88
00:05:55.798 --> 00:06:22.254
probably every day so i did find myself drinking at least a glass of wine or something like that every single day um not realizing it's not only habitual components to what i was creating um but also the impact to my mental health and other well-being areas um i bet you there's a lot of people watching today that are probably sitting into that zone and probably thinking to themselves like what you just said like i
89
00:06:23.404 --> 00:06:24.946
I feel okay about it.
90
00:06:25.006 --> 00:06:29.790
Is there anything wrong with where they're at at the moment, Sarah, just to start there?
91
00:06:30.911 --> 00:06:34.714
So let's start with, first of all, my goal is not to make everyone stop drinking.
92
00:06:34.774 --> 00:06:36.576
So I just want to say that this is not a lecture.
93
00:06:36.596 --> 00:06:37.977
This is not a preaching session.
94
00:06:38.017 --> 00:06:42.981
This is not me and Cookie going, we've converted to the other side, and now we need to get everyone to come with us.
95
00:06:43.062 --> 00:06:44.903
That is not the goal here.
96
00:06:45.263 --> 00:06:49.207
My goal is simply information, education, and empowerment.
97
00:06:49.650 --> 00:07:01.376
and to give people permission to go, if we've realized alcohol's not working anymore and it's actually tipped the balance, then we have full permission to explore our relationship with alcohol.
98
00:07:01.536 --> 00:07:06.038
And I truly believe that most people, once they get into their forties, fifties and sixties,
99
00:07:06.478 --> 00:07:11.280
start to experience more negative side effects from alcohol as we age.
100
00:07:11.320 --> 00:07:13.501
And there's a physiological reason for this.
101
00:07:13.581 --> 00:07:20.383
So as we age, our body cannot metabolize alcohol as effectively in our 40s and 50s as it did in our 20s.
102
00:07:20.864 --> 00:07:31.888
So for me, in my 20s, I would think nothing of having three hours sleep, having a massive bender, getting up in the morning, getting on the tube in London, going back to work, packet of crisps, can of Diet Coke, two paracetamols,
103
00:07:32.148 --> 00:07:34.969
Boom, okay, I'm ready to go again and then do it that night.
104
00:07:35.409 --> 00:07:45.852
Got into my 40s and two glasses of wine and I'd be waking at 3am full of night sweats, full of anxiety, full of remorse and self-loathing, feeling tired the next day.
105
00:07:45.892 --> 00:07:51.154
The constant background line to my life was I'm not hungover, I'm just tired.
106
00:07:52.395 --> 00:07:59.297
And what a lot of people don't realise is even one or two drinks can disrupt your sleep quality by up to 40%.
107
00:08:00.939 --> 00:08:08.665
So even one or two drinks, the neuroscientists have studied brains after alcohol, even one or two drinks, we bypass REM sleep.
108
00:08:09.465 --> 00:08:17.491
So REM sleep is a really important stage of sleep responsible for emotional processing, responsible for laying down memories and foundations.
109
00:08:17.671 --> 00:08:25.297
If we are constantly bypassing REM sleep, number one, we're going to cause low mood because of the lack of emotional processing.
110
00:08:25.317 --> 00:08:25.437
Right.
111
00:08:25.597 --> 00:08:32.763
Number two, we're putting ourselves at risk of dementia and Alzheimer's because of the processing that doesn't happen from a memory perspective.
112
00:08:33.304 --> 00:08:37.607
And number three, we're just going to feel a bit meh the next day.
113
00:08:37.787 --> 00:08:40.970
And like I said, I wasn't feeling hungover.
114
00:08:41.090 --> 00:08:42.311
I wasn't in bed vomiting.
115
00:08:42.371 --> 00:08:43.792
I wasn't, you know, any of those things.
116
00:08:44.052 --> 00:08:45.794
But I was feeling meh.
117
00:08:46.234 --> 00:08:47.095
a lot of the time.
118
00:08:47.635 --> 00:08:51.639
And I think that a lot of people get to that point with gray area drinking.
119
00:08:52.079 --> 00:09:00.166
And a couple of other of the impact that gray area drinking has, we know that anxiety, massively increases anxiety, right?
120
00:09:00.226 --> 00:09:01.947
And you would have experienced that as well.
121
00:09:01.967 --> 00:09:04.369
I remember going to my GP and saying to her,
122
00:09:05.002 --> 00:09:06.983
I'm a shadow of the woman I used to be.
123
00:09:07.083 --> 00:09:08.343
I've lost my confidence.
124
00:09:08.403 --> 00:09:10.444
I've lost my spark.
125
00:09:11.005 --> 00:09:14.266
And at no point did the conversation come up around alcohol.
126
00:09:14.746 --> 00:09:21.689
So she happily gave me a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, but never asked me how much I was drinking.
127
00:09:22.834 --> 00:09:26.636
And yet we know alcohol is a major cause of anxiety.
128
00:09:26.656 --> 00:09:30.357
And I've supported over 10,000 people now to change their drinking habits.
129
00:09:30.437 --> 00:09:44.262
And the number one thing people notice is their anxiety pretty much goes, but it's a vicious cycle because most of us are drinking because of anxiety and we drink to relieve the anxiety because that works for about 20 minutes.
130
00:09:45.043 --> 00:09:51.265
And then the impact in the brain is we would end up producing more cortisol and stress hormones
131
00:09:51.627 --> 00:09:56.329
in response to the alcohol we've consumed so we make ourselves more anxious by drinking.
132
00:09:58.950 --> 00:10:00.491
It resonates so much.
133
00:10:00.551 --> 00:10:10.295
And I think so many people, and I didn't realise this until I, you know, stopped as well as my identity, the identity that I had around alcohol and drinking.
134
00:10:11.095 --> 00:10:17.998
And when I, that was a big shift for me that took a lot of time for me to navigate was that identity shift of the association.
135
00:10:18.038 --> 00:10:20.599
Is that what you see with a lot of people as well as they navigate through this?
136
00:10:22.005 --> 00:10:23.165
Yeah, it's a couple of things.
137
00:10:23.185 --> 00:10:28.746
So I think number one, many of us, you know, the ages that we are, we started drinking at quite a young age.
138
00:10:28.826 --> 00:10:29.966
I started drinking at 14.
139
00:10:30.066 --> 00:10:31.667
So I was Sarah the party girl.
140
00:10:31.707 --> 00:10:33.167
I was always Sarah the party girl.
141
00:10:33.247 --> 00:10:36.507
And it was my house that everyone went to for drinks before the party.
142
00:10:36.547 --> 00:10:39.288
It was my house that everyone came to after the party.
143
00:10:39.748 --> 00:10:48.750
And so it's a huge identity shift that starts to happen with who we actually are if we're not Sarah the party girl anymore.
144
00:10:49.230 --> 00:10:51.070
And then the second thing I have is...
145
00:10:51.823 --> 00:10:56.289
is how we navigate the peer pressure from the expectations of other people.
146
00:10:56.349 --> 00:11:00.875
So it's how we see ourselves internally for ourselves, but also
147
00:11:01.490 --> 00:11:03.511
the shift in how other people see us.
148
00:11:03.591 --> 00:11:11.493
And I have clients, I've been working with a senior partner of a law firm who has noticed how much alcohol has been impacting his anxiety.
149
00:11:12.013 --> 00:11:14.734
So he's taken a break, he's feeling great.
150
00:11:15.154 --> 00:11:23.836
But every week, we have to sit down and look at the work events that he's got that week and what he's going to say when people ask him why he's not drinking
151
00:11:24.256 --> 00:11:29.120
because the expectation is that he will be a drinker at all of these events.
152
00:11:29.620 --> 00:11:31.742
And so there's two parts to it.
153
00:11:31.762 --> 00:11:34.324
There's our own internal shift of who am I without booze?
154
00:11:34.744 --> 00:11:41.890
But then there's also the external version of, well, how does other people see us if we've decided to change our drinking?
155
00:11:43.581 --> 00:11:46.123
It brings up a really good question now about workplaces.
156
00:11:46.163 --> 00:11:49.104
And I know a lot of people who are watching today are inside their workplaces.
157
00:11:49.585 --> 00:11:51.986
My ex-work industry was media.
158
00:11:52.206 --> 00:11:53.227
It was rife.
159
00:11:53.647 --> 00:11:55.568
It was full-on drinking.
160
00:11:56.349 --> 00:12:03.973
Friday lunches, parties, concerts, events, footy stadiums, like it was just always on.
161
00:12:04.594 --> 00:12:07.376
Let's talk about grey area drinking in the workforce.
162
00:12:07.516 --> 00:12:09.557
What do you have to say about this topic area?
163
00:12:10.245 --> 00:12:12.048
Yeah, so it is starting to shift.
164
00:12:12.128 --> 00:12:27.288
One of the stories I tell in my workplace well-being presentation is the fact that in 1998, the fourth stage of my interview process for a investment banking recruitment firm in London was going to the pub to do shots of tequila to see how well you could handle your booze.
165
00:12:27.668 --> 00:12:33.631
and you were basically offered or not offered the job based on your capacity to do shots of tequila.
166
00:12:33.651 --> 00:12:34.812
It was absolutely bonkers.
167
00:12:35.252 --> 00:12:36.293
That was the 90s.
168
00:12:36.353 --> 00:12:48.139
I think we've moved on a little bit since then, but we now know that the generation drinking the most are the boomers and Gen X, so it's probably more likely to be your directors, your partners, your senior managers.
169
00:12:48.628 --> 00:12:51.649
And the massive research came out just last week.
170
00:12:51.669 --> 00:13:00.192
I don't know if you saw it about Gen Z, that they are drinking nine times less than what equivalent generations were drinking at their age.
171
00:13:00.792 --> 00:13:12.176
What this means is we know Gen Z are looking for workplaces where the focus is not on getting drunk with your team, where the focus is not that you're going to be expected to drink alcohol at every social occasion.
172
00:13:12.216 --> 00:13:16.197
And yet so many workplaces are falling short when it comes to,
173
00:13:16.637 --> 00:13:20.520
Do you provide alcohol free drinks at your staff Christmas parties and other events?
174
00:13:20.901 --> 00:13:25.885
Do you arrange social events that are not in the pub or where people are expected to drink?
175
00:13:26.265 --> 00:13:31.789
Is there pressure from your colleagues for you to be having a drink at these social events?
176
00:13:31.890 --> 00:13:40.617
Because we know the latest research shows one third of Australians have experienced negative effects from a colleague's drinking.
177
00:13:41.515 --> 00:13:47.741
We know that 2.5 million work days are lost each year due to drinking.
178
00:13:48.122 --> 00:13:52.446
And we know that alcohol-related time off work costs $2 billion each year.
179
00:13:53.783 --> 00:13:54.043
Wow.
180
00:13:54.323 --> 00:13:58.266
So why do you think companies are so afraid of bringing this up?
181
00:13:58.406 --> 00:14:01.028
Like, I know you and I have spoken about this as well.
182
00:14:01.068 --> 00:14:09.014
And, you know, our aim at Cuppa is to get these types of conversations happening more and more inside organisations and bringing people like you in to have these moments.
183
00:14:10.355 --> 00:14:13.678
Where's the limiting factors here of why companies aren't addressing this properly?
184
00:14:14.668 --> 00:14:15.608
I think it's two things.
185
00:14:15.668 --> 00:14:21.109
I think, number one, the people that are the decision makers, perhaps the grey area drinkers themselves.
186
00:14:21.469 --> 00:14:26.610
So they are reluctant to bring up this topic because they don't want to have to look at their own drinking or create change.
187
00:14:26.650 --> 00:14:31.211
That might mean they don't have to drink without thinking about the impact on the wider workforce.
188
00:14:31.571 --> 00:14:41.113
And I think that there's I've spoken to HR directors before who've said, I'm just really worried that our staff are going to feel like we're telling them that they shouldn't drink or can't drink.
189
00:14:41.553 --> 00:14:46.676
And I said, but this is not about preaching or lecturing or telling people what they can and can't do.
190
00:14:47.017 --> 00:14:58.164
But it is about understanding that you don't have to be an alcoholic to have a negative impact on your on your mental, physical and emotional well-being.
191
00:14:58.544 --> 00:15:03.287
The latest research is showing 14 units or more per week.
192
00:15:03.667 --> 00:15:10.492
So that's about one and a half bottles of wine a week starts to put us at risk of one in 20.
193
00:15:11.445 --> 00:15:13.847
of developing one of the alcohol related cancers.
194
00:15:14.407 --> 00:15:18.811
When that increases to 21 units a week, that's about two bottles of wine a week.
195
00:15:18.831 --> 00:15:23.314
So maybe one or two glasses of wine most nights, which most people would just think of as being normal.
196
00:15:23.758 --> 00:15:29.019
That increases our chance to 40% of developing alcohol-related cancers.
197
00:15:29.199 --> 00:15:39.162
But also, the impact becomes on our brain can't perform complex memory tasks for up to four days after having a binge drinking session.
198
00:15:39.462 --> 00:15:40.422
We don't get sleep.
199
00:15:40.622 --> 00:15:42.123
It impacts anxiety.
200
00:15:42.563 --> 00:15:44.083
It impacts our performance.
201
00:15:44.563 --> 00:15:51.705
The first time I took 100 days off alcohol back in 2017, I was running my own recruitment firm at the time.
202
00:15:52.245 --> 00:15:56.327
I made more money in three months than I made in the entire 12 months previously.
203
00:15:58.128 --> 00:16:07.934
Because my performance was incredible because I was motivated, clear headed, energized, was getting good sleep and was just so, so focused on what I was doing.
204
00:16:07.974 --> 00:16:13.517
So never underestimate what even one or two drinks will be doing to performance at work.
205
00:16:15.675 --> 00:16:19.257
And I love that as well because that is a lot of the briefs that we get in, right, from clients.
206
00:16:19.277 --> 00:16:20.859
We want our team to perform better.
207
00:16:20.899 --> 00:16:23.380
Well, why aren't you tackling this as a potential topic area?
208
00:16:23.400 --> 00:16:25.021
Because the facts are there.
209
00:16:25.662 --> 00:16:26.242
It's clear.
210
00:16:26.963 --> 00:16:28.143
Like, you know it yourself.
211
00:16:28.684 --> 00:16:31.686
Let's get honest as in an individual who's a decision maker.
212
00:16:32.006 --> 00:16:33.027
Let's get really honest here.
213
00:16:33.307 --> 00:16:36.469
You know that yourself and how you perform and how you show up.
214
00:16:36.589 --> 00:16:40.792
It is a beautiful topic area to at least address with many of your people inside the organisation.
215
00:16:40.812 --> 00:16:40.972
Yeah.
216
00:16:41.420 --> 00:16:45.183
Everyone, if you can see the chat room today, please put your comments in there and make sure you say hello.
217
00:16:45.243 --> 00:16:47.845
And if anything's resonating with you, please highlight that.
218
00:16:48.346 --> 00:16:51.709
If you don't see the chat room today, it means that you're not our free member.
219
00:16:51.749 --> 00:16:53.090
You're not on our free membership.
220
00:16:53.110 --> 00:16:54.891
So just join that next time.
221
00:16:54.971 --> 00:16:57.353
We will be sending out a replay after this as well, everyone.
222
00:16:57.793 --> 00:17:00.095
So you will be able to be able to share this with other people.
223
00:17:00.496 --> 00:17:02.697
Let's get clear on a couple of key questions, though, right?
224
00:17:02.717 --> 00:17:05.580
We've spoken about some of the dangers of grey area drinking.
225
00:17:05.600 --> 00:17:05.920
Okay.
226
00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:07.563
Let's get clear for people watching.
227
00:17:07.663 --> 00:17:08.604
What are some of the signs?
228
00:17:08.624 --> 00:17:16.658
What are some of the additional signs that they may be experiencing and they may be looking at themselves or looking at others in their life, their family, their partner, whatever that may be?
229
00:17:17.138 --> 00:17:19.302
What are those clear signs around grey area drinking?
230
00:17:20.347 --> 00:17:21.348
So there's a few signs.
231
00:17:21.408 --> 00:17:28.331
So number one, we often make rules around our drinking, but then we'll find a reason to justify breaking them.
232
00:17:28.491 --> 00:17:31.533
So I don't drink Monday to Thursday, and then it's a Wednesday.
233
00:17:31.613 --> 00:17:34.754
And then you've started to recover now from Sunday's drinking.
234
00:17:34.794 --> 00:17:39.417
You've got a clear head, so why not go and celebrate that with a few more drinks to make ourselves feel rubbish again?
235
00:17:40.237 --> 00:17:46.902
And so we find reasons to justify why we can break the rule that we set ourselves around our drinking.
236
00:17:46.962 --> 00:17:50.986
People who are not grey area drinkers, they don't have internal chatter about alcohol.
237
00:17:51.006 --> 00:17:52.947
They don't have this, oh, it's Wednesday.
238
00:17:52.967 --> 00:17:56.129
I said I wasn't going to drink, but maybe if I have a drink tonight, I could not drink tomorrow.
239
00:17:56.149 --> 00:17:57.611
And then I'll have tomorrow's units tonight.
240
00:17:57.631 --> 00:17:59.292
So then I'm still just going to have the same amount.
241
00:17:59.552 --> 00:18:03.275
There's this constant justification and chatter inside our minds.
242
00:18:03.815 --> 00:18:23.658
number two we've started noticing that alcohol's impacting us maybe it's impacting sleep anxiety and productivity at work our mood our relationships and we might decide oh i need to just drink less i need to make some changes now but we can't stick to these commitments to create change because
243
00:18:24.358 --> 00:18:27.980
You know, we have to remember alcohol is the fifth most addictive substance in the world.
244
00:18:28.360 --> 00:18:30.602
So it's not as simple for many people.
245
00:18:31.122 --> 00:18:39.467
And once you become a gray area drinker, it's even harder of going, oh, I'm just going to drink less because we've created neural pathways in our brain with associations.
246
00:18:39.567 --> 00:18:42.729
When I feel X, I drink and it makes me feel Y.
247
00:18:43.049 --> 00:18:51.654
So as soon as I think the dangerous area, the most dangerous place to be is if you've created a neural pathway that says when I'm stressed,
248
00:18:52.673 --> 00:18:55.619
and I drink alcohol, it makes the stress go away.
249
00:18:55.919 --> 00:19:01.730
And we know that gray area drinkers cite stress as the number one reason for their drinking, particularly workplace stress.
250
00:19:02.464 --> 00:19:11.250
And so if you've created that neural pathway, you're in a whole world of trouble because your brain wants to short circuit and take the shortcut every time it can to preserve energy.
251
00:19:11.530 --> 00:19:17.033
So if your brain has created an association, stress equals have a drink equals makes the stress go away.
252
00:19:17.454 --> 00:19:18.794
Your brain doesn't think long-term.
253
00:19:18.814 --> 00:19:24.578
Your brain's not thinking ahead to the 3 a.m. wake up, the next day anxiety, the fact that you've got a really big meeting in the morning.
254
00:19:24.878 --> 00:19:29.161
Your brain just goes, in this immediate moment, you must not feel stressed anymore.
255
00:19:29.221 --> 00:19:30.122
We must have a drink.
256
00:19:30.742 --> 00:19:34.584
So for many grey area drinkers, we've created that association.
257
00:19:35.084 --> 00:19:37.706
We might find that we often drink more than we intended.
258
00:19:37.826 --> 00:19:38.747
I'm just going to have one.
259
00:19:39.087 --> 00:19:40.447
And that always ends up being more.
260
00:19:41.248 --> 00:19:45.090
We might find that we're silently questioning, am I drinking too much?
261
00:19:45.230 --> 00:19:47.111
I really need to drink a little bit less.
262
00:19:47.651 --> 00:19:50.813
But one of the key signs and for everyone listening now would be this.
263
00:19:51.494 --> 00:19:57.477
If I said to you, right today, let's all commit to 90 days off booze.
264
00:19:58.761 --> 00:19:59.542
Let's all just go now.
265
00:19:59.602 --> 00:20:02.364
Let's all go together and do 90 days off booze now.
266
00:20:03.005 --> 00:20:07.088
People who are not gray area drinkers, they'll just be like, yeah, whatever.
267
00:20:07.108 --> 00:20:07.649
I don't care.
268
00:20:07.809 --> 00:20:09.070
I'd like take it or leave it.
269
00:20:09.832 --> 00:20:16.618
If we have got that emotional reliance on alcohol, there's always going to be a reason why we can't do that 90 days.
270
00:20:16.798 --> 00:20:17.699
Oh, but I've got that holiday.
271
00:20:17.719 --> 00:20:18.359
I've got that wedding.
272
00:20:18.379 --> 00:20:19.160
I've got that party.
273
00:20:19.180 --> 00:20:20.041
I've got that christening.
274
00:20:20.081 --> 00:20:21.442
I've got X, Y, Z.
275
00:20:21.562 --> 00:20:24.365
And we've created, it's like this crutch for us.
276
00:20:24.465 --> 00:20:34.093
So maybe just be curious about how do I feel at the thought of Sarah saying to me now, we're going to do 90 days off booze, because that can be quite an indication too.
277
00:20:36.404 --> 00:20:42.268
Thank you for clearing that up because I think there's a lot of people just looking and nodding their heads at the moment.
278
00:20:42.328 --> 00:20:45.311
Now, everyone, if you haven't already checked it out, please do so at the end.
279
00:20:45.331 --> 00:20:51.955
But you can find out more about Sarah on our Pick My Brain profile where you get to pick the brain of all our incredible talent.
280
00:20:52.276 --> 00:20:54.918
I don't want you to go there yet because we've still got a couple more questions for Sarah.
281
00:20:55.198 --> 00:20:56.939
But just have that in mind as well.
282
00:20:56.979 --> 00:21:04.645
If you want to take action and, again, if you check out Sarah's website as well, it has incredible resources on there and also coaching and all the other things.
283
00:21:05.325 --> 00:21:24.070
um as well but i'd love sarah for you to break down the the process and the and the steps of how to change your drinking habits i think it's important now we've spoken a lot about where it might be where people might be but how do they how do they navigate through this what are the steps that you usually encourage um your people that you coach
284
00:21:25.854 --> 00:21:48.605
it's really important first of all to start with just being honest how many units a week am i drinking because a unit is not glass so some people go oh i have a unit and one unit a night one drink a night now i can assure you when i was drinking and i'm just coming up to six and a half years now alcohol free and when i was drinking one glass was probably three units
285
00:21:49.205 --> 00:21:52.069
I was quite generous with my serving size at home.
286
00:21:52.449 --> 00:22:01.702
So if we're having one glass, but it's a decent sized glass and it's an alcohol that has an ABV of around 14%, then that's probably three units in one glass.
287
00:22:01.822 --> 00:22:04.065
One glass a night is 21 units a week.
288
00:22:04.165 --> 00:22:06.468
That puts you into the heavy drinking category.
289
00:22:06.848 --> 00:22:13.816
which massively goes on to cause problems with gut health, cancer risks, stroke risk, liver disease and everything like that.
290
00:22:13.876 --> 00:22:17.901
So it's really good to simply start with how much am I drinking?
291
00:22:18.542 --> 00:22:22.546
Second thing to ask yourself is what do I rely on alcohol for?
292
00:22:22.566 --> 00:22:23.788
So what are my triggers?
293
00:22:24.328 --> 00:22:26.671
What are the reasons that I drink?
294
00:22:27.860 --> 00:22:40.473
And then the third thing is to start to get curious and not say to yourself, I have to stop forever or anything like that, but commit to doing an experiment and noticing how do I feel when
295
00:22:41.367 --> 00:22:52.652
If I do 28 days, four weeks off booze, give yourself that opportunity because most people in the Western world will never take long enough from alcohol to know how they feel without it.
296
00:22:53.032 --> 00:22:55.913
It takes 72 hours for alcohol to leave our system.
297
00:22:56.393 --> 00:23:04.656
So we're not going to be on full mojo, 10 out of 10 productivity and optimizing our life.
298
00:23:05.657 --> 00:23:08.558
Even if you were drinking twice a week on a Sunday and a Wednesday,
299
00:23:09.058 --> 00:23:11.559
you would still be having those impacts of alcohol.
300
00:23:11.899 --> 00:23:17.921
So give yourself the opportunity of taking 28 days off and noticing how you feel.
301
00:23:17.981 --> 00:23:20.902
Keep a wee record of what's my sleep like?
302
00:23:21.663 --> 00:23:22.803
What's my energy like?
303
00:23:23.403 --> 00:23:24.764
What's my mental health like?
304
00:23:25.164 --> 00:23:26.464
What's my anxiety like?
305
00:23:26.985 --> 00:23:28.925
What's my performance at work like?
306
00:23:29.385 --> 00:23:30.946
How do I feel in the morning?
307
00:23:31.086 --> 00:23:32.647
Am I hitting my goals more?
308
00:23:32.707 --> 00:23:35.768
Because what I find is for so many people,
309
00:23:36.703 --> 00:23:40.585
many grey area drinkers are the coulda, shoulda, woulda type people.
310
00:23:40.665 --> 00:23:41.866
So we have big plans.
311
00:23:41.986 --> 00:23:47.029
We promise ourselves all these things that we're going to do, but alcohol kind of holds us back a bit.
312
00:23:47.609 --> 00:23:52.752
And I find that when people take that break from alcohol, they start actually hitting their goals.
313
00:23:52.793 --> 00:23:54.854
They're being consistent with exercise.
314
00:23:54.894 --> 00:23:56.775
They're being consistent with diet.
315
00:23:56.835 --> 00:24:01.798
They are showing up earlier for work if they wanted to and getting things done.
316
00:24:02.098 --> 00:24:05.280
The impact it has on so many areas of our life is so much...
317
00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:06.601
Beyond Alcohol.
318
00:24:07.182 --> 00:24:14.030
You can head to my website, which has a guide on it, which has got all my top resources for taking a break from alcohol.
319
00:24:14.050 --> 00:24:20.698
So it's starting to listen to some of the great podcasts out there, reading some of the books, and there's some great TED Talks.
320
00:24:21.257 --> 00:24:24.498
You know, we live in a world that promotes alcohol everywhere we go.
321
00:24:24.578 --> 00:24:31.040
And one of the tips for changing is to start consuming other information around alcohol.
322
00:24:31.620 --> 00:24:35.561
And that's how we start to create some kind of change.
323
00:24:35.581 --> 00:24:46.844
And then the fourth thing would be exercise is I don't know anyone who successfully long term changed their relationship with alcohol that didn't add some form of exercise in.
324
00:24:46.864 --> 00:24:49.085
That is all related to dopamine.
325
00:24:49.670 --> 00:24:56.892
Andrew Huberman, the very famous neuroscientist said, be careful of anything that gives you a dopamine hit that doesn't require any effort.
326
00:24:57.612 --> 00:25:03.593
Dopamine hits without effort are where addiction lie, because we don't actually have to do anything to get the dopamine.
327
00:25:04.073 --> 00:25:07.034
Whereas exercise is effort-based dopamine.
328
00:25:07.154 --> 00:25:08.254
It makes us feel good.
329
00:25:08.354 --> 00:25:09.534
It increases our dopamine.
330
00:25:09.554 --> 00:25:15.916
And then the brain is not left searching for dopamine from a quick fix because it's earned it through exercise.
331
00:25:15.936 --> 00:25:17.176
So it's a great tip as well.
332
00:25:18.864 --> 00:25:20.425
Absolutely love that tip.
333
00:25:21.046 --> 00:25:26.290
Elsie wrote, hi, two years sober, and I was one of those people who needed medical intervention.
334
00:25:26.330 --> 00:25:29.052
Haven't touched a drop since October 2nd, 2023.
335
00:25:29.132 --> 00:25:29.553
Well done.
336
00:25:29.733 --> 00:25:30.133
Well done.
337
00:25:30.634 --> 00:25:31.935
Amazing.
338
00:25:32.255 --> 00:25:34.357
What about non-alcoholic beverages?
339
00:25:34.657 --> 00:25:35.337
Where do you sit with that?
340
00:25:35.898 --> 00:25:37.519
Is it a trickery that is good?
341
00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:47.267
Oh, look, I have got so many people in my world who have successfully changed their relationship with alcohol through using alcohol-free drinks.
342
00:25:47.942 --> 00:25:52.027
And we have the saying in my community, keep the ritual, change the ingredient.
343
00:25:52.488 --> 00:25:58.695
So if the ritual is I pour a drink at five o'clock, pour an alcohol free beer, pour an alcohol free gin and tonic.
344
00:25:59.766 --> 00:26:05.588
I think for people with end stage physical addiction to alcohol, these drinks are not a good idea.
345
00:26:06.088 --> 00:26:09.269
For grey area drinkers, they tend to be a brilliant idea.
346
00:26:09.710 --> 00:26:12.651
And I relied on them probably a lot more at the start.
347
00:26:12.751 --> 00:26:16.772
I very rarely touch them now because I just don't like consuming anything with loads of sugar.
348
00:26:17.192 --> 00:26:20.033
But at the start, they really, really helped.
349
00:26:20.073 --> 00:26:22.014
And I find that they do for a lot of my clients.
350
00:26:22.628 --> 00:26:25.570
Yeah, I've been latching on to the non-alcoholic beers.
351
00:26:26.010 --> 00:26:28.611
Again, definitely not the way that I used to.
352
00:26:28.631 --> 00:26:30.993
It might just be one when it's a hot day like today.
353
00:26:32.230 --> 00:26:42.635
And usually I would have reached for a beer just to have a look out the water, but now it's a non-alcoholic beer and I'd just have one of those non-alcoholic beers because like that I don't really want to consume any more than that.
354
00:26:42.696 --> 00:26:46.798
It's just getting that first taste and hit.
355
00:26:47.158 --> 00:26:52.080
So, Sarah, we've spoken a lot today about many different aspects of it all.
356
00:26:53.641 --> 00:26:59.584
Have you got a, like, you've got 10,000 odd stories of people who have gone through your programs.
357
00:27:00.105 --> 00:27:01.526
Is there one that stands out, Sarah?
358
00:27:01.666 --> 00:27:06.729
Is there one that you just go, you know, like, or is everyone's in the same boat?
359
00:27:09.491 --> 00:27:11.272
Everyone's story's different yet the same.
360
00:27:12.152 --> 00:27:12.913
I think probably,
361
00:27:13.932 --> 00:27:26.842
One of the moments that brought a tear to my eye was, I had a meetup in Melbourne of lots of people that I had supported to change their drinking through my programs and challenges and stuff.
362
00:27:27.262 --> 00:27:29.724
And we met this, there's a brilliant alcohol free bar in Melbourne.
363
00:27:29.744 --> 00:27:32.346
So I hired it out, we had a cocktail party, it was awesome.
364
00:27:32.846 --> 00:27:40.572
And this woman came up to me and she looked at me and she started crying and she's like, oh, you've changed my life, this has been amazing.
365
00:27:40.612 --> 00:27:42.513
So I've got a letter for you from my son.
366
00:27:43.773 --> 00:27:52.301
And her son had written, her 13 year old son sent me a message that said, Dear Sarah, thank you for giving me my mum back.
367
00:27:55.384 --> 00:27:59.408
And I have goosebumps even talking about that.
368
00:28:00.368 --> 00:28:06.314
Because we don't realise how much our kids pick up on us drinking as well.
369
00:28:06.915 --> 00:28:08.376
And they...
370
00:28:09.045 --> 00:28:13.968
I know that I'm a completely different mum now as a result of the fact I don't drink.
371
00:28:14.088 --> 00:28:17.850
I'm present, I'm way more fun, I'm so much more connected.
372
00:28:17.910 --> 00:28:22.752
I have teenagers, they're going to be going into the world of alcohol soon.
373
00:28:22.792 --> 00:28:24.233
They're exposed to it already.
374
00:28:24.393 --> 00:28:28.235
And the conversations we have are so honest and so real.
375
00:28:28.415 --> 00:28:31.017
And I think it's not just about understanding
376
00:28:31.557 --> 00:28:34.538
our own lives change when we change our drinking.
377
00:28:34.558 --> 00:28:36.138
And this woman was a grey area drinker.
378
00:28:36.158 --> 00:28:45.920
She wasn't an alcoholic, but she was not present with her kids in the evening because as soon as it was wide o'clock, she was just a bit distant because we're not fully present when we're drinking.
379
00:28:47.540 --> 00:28:47.960
Far out.
380
00:28:48.280 --> 00:28:49.480
What a great story to end on.
381
00:28:49.640 --> 00:28:56.841
And congratulations on the impact because for that one story, there's probably a hundred others like it that are exactly the same.
382
00:28:56.881 --> 00:28:59.862
So well done to you and everything you've been able to achieve so far.
383
00:29:00.593 --> 00:29:04.334
I know we've only just scratched the surface of gray area drinking.
384
00:29:04.494 --> 00:29:07.175
Actually, we've just scratched the surface of what you offer, Sarah.
385
00:29:07.776 --> 00:29:12.897
It is more to this kit bag, and you've been doing some incredible work out there inside corporates.
386
00:29:13.798 --> 00:29:19.900
Everyone, again, if you wanna check out Sarah's profile in our beautiful cup of collectivities here, you can find out a little bit more.
387
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:21.560
You can message Sarah directly.
388
00:29:21.580 --> 00:29:23.621
You can find out all the different keynotes and offers.
389
00:29:24.001 --> 00:29:29.763
But Sarah, what's some of the things that are really resonating for you in the corporate market beyond this gray area drinking area?
390
00:29:30.243 --> 00:29:38.707
Do you want to share what else is really latching on for organisations and corporates who are tapping into your knowledge and skill set?
391
00:29:39.568 --> 00:29:39.948
Yeah.
392
00:29:40.488 --> 00:29:43.510
So the grey area drinking is being really well received.
393
00:29:43.630 --> 00:29:52.014
I delivered a presentation last week where 130 lawyers were there and I had 130 messages telling me that was the best presentation I've ever attended.
394
00:29:52.514 --> 00:29:54.916
And that was talking about grey area drinking in the legal sector.
395
00:29:54.956 --> 00:29:57.657
And so I know that my message is being so well received.
396
00:29:57.947 --> 00:30:04.628
But I also flew to Sydney two weeks ago to deliver a keynote at a conference on the five pillars of women's health.
397
00:30:04.988 --> 00:30:12.070
I'm also a menopause coach and talk a lot about supporting women with menopause because this is a very hot topic.
398
00:30:12.110 --> 00:30:21.611
And if companies are not offering this support to their female work staff, then I think they're massively falling below par in terms of the health and wellbeing programs that they offer.
399
00:30:21.631 --> 00:30:25.772
So I offer a comprehensive talk around menopause for women's health.
400
00:30:26.312 --> 00:30:30.736
And then I also offer a brilliant presentation, the seven pillars of optimal well-being.
401
00:30:31.056 --> 00:30:32.277
And that's not about alcohol.
402
00:30:32.337 --> 00:30:44.766
And it takes people through these other practical, easy to implement strategies I can put into my life that are going to allow my performance, both mentally, physically and emotionally to optimise.
403
00:30:44.826 --> 00:30:46.427
And that's had incredible results as well.
404
00:30:47.276 --> 00:30:50.601
Well, Sarah, I'm so glad to have you part of our Cup of Community.
405
00:30:50.681 --> 00:30:53.526
Everyone today, please give a wave of gratitude to Sarah in the chat room.
406
00:30:53.906 --> 00:30:59.795
Sarah, before we head off today, what would be your parting words for someone watching who has sat through this session and leaning in?
407
00:30:59.956 --> 00:31:00.537
What would you say?
408
00:31:01.633 --> 00:31:02.234
Be curious.
409
00:31:03.034 --> 00:31:04.175
This isn't about judgment.
410
00:31:04.295 --> 00:31:07.137
This isn't about shame or guilt.
411
00:31:07.218 --> 00:31:09.519
It's about curiosity and be curious.
412
00:31:09.559 --> 00:31:12.081
And if you want to take a break from booze, message me.
413
00:31:12.842 --> 00:31:14.363
I've got tons of resources.
414
00:31:14.543 --> 00:31:20.969
If you want to have me come and speak in your organization about taking a break from booze, and I also run corporate alcohol free challenges.
415
00:31:21.309 --> 00:31:23.110
I did it for a big mining company.
416
00:31:23.190 --> 00:31:26.373
We had 350 people in the company take 30 days off booze.
417
00:31:26.773 --> 00:31:27.414
It was awesome.
418
00:31:27.454 --> 00:31:30.036
And so curiosity is key here.
419
00:31:31.691 --> 00:31:32.772
with four weeks off booze.
420
00:31:33.833 --> 00:31:34.553
Love it.
421
00:31:34.633 --> 00:31:36.034
Todd's written, thank you, Sarah and Luke.
422
00:31:36.074 --> 00:31:37.315
This has been really informative.
423
00:31:37.496 --> 00:31:38.356
Anne's written amazing.
424
00:31:38.376 --> 00:31:39.137
Thank you very much.
425
00:31:40.018 --> 00:31:42.880
Sarah, absolutely incredible to have you on today.
426
00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:44.741
It's been a real pleasure to hold space with you again.
427
00:31:44.821 --> 00:31:52.868
And yeah, let's keep getting this conversation out there because it is a critical one for organisations and their teams with their overall wellbeing.
428
00:31:52.928 --> 00:31:53.528
Thank you, Sarah.
429
00:31:53.768 --> 00:31:54.089
See you.
430
00:31:54.109 --> 00:31:54.329
Thank you.
431
00:31:55.715 --> 00:31:57.696
Thank you everyone for being part of CUPPA today.
432
00:31:57.736 --> 00:31:58.937
This is our show, Pick My Brain.
433
00:31:58.977 --> 00:32:03.240
Like I said, if you didn't see the chat room today, make sure you register for our free membership.
434
00:32:03.721 --> 00:32:04.661
It is absolutely free.
435
00:32:04.681 --> 00:32:07.883
We send you all the details via EDMs of all the great shows that we have coming up.
436
00:32:08.424 --> 00:32:09.545
And stay tuned, everyone.
437
00:32:09.565 --> 00:32:14.228
We've got some big news flowing through CUPPA around our new venue that's launching in Sydney.
438
00:32:14.638 --> 00:32:18.680
in the next five weeks where we're actually bringing people together to hold moments like this.
439
00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:21.922
We've got Sarah going to come in, I know she is, and we're going to do a good workshop in there.
440
00:32:21.942 --> 00:32:24.944
It might be around grey area drinking, it might be around women's wellbeing.
441
00:32:25.004 --> 00:32:25.644
I don't know yet.
442
00:32:25.804 --> 00:32:35.630
And that's the fun part of what we get to do in this new venue, is we get to create these moments where people can come together to create their own moments that hopefully turns into their own positive movements of change.
443
00:32:36.210 --> 00:32:36.991
That is it, everyone.
444
00:32:37.011 --> 00:32:38.812
Thank you so much for being part of Cuppa Today.
445
00:32:38.832 --> 00:32:39.912
It's been a brilliant episode.
446
00:32:39.932 --> 00:32:41.994
The replay link will be out with you this afternoon.
447
00:32:42.394 --> 00:32:43.795
Please do share this far and wide.
448
00:32:43.835 --> 00:32:50.319
And, yeah, again, make sure you get Sarah to come into your organisation to share more about how she can support you and your crew.
449
00:32:50.719 --> 00:32:51.379
That is it, everyone.
450
00:32:51.399 --> 00:32:53.521
Thank you so much for joining Cuppa Today, and we'll see you soon.
451
00:32:53.681 --> 00:32:53.881
Bye.
1
00:00:05.009 --> 00:00:08.432
Hello everyone and welcome to Cuppa.TV.
2
00:00:08.612 --> 00:00:10.934
It is Cookie here and I am back.
3
00:00:10.974 --> 00:00:17.340
Hopefully everyone is getting ready for today's very important conversation about grey area drinking.
4
00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:25.367
Now I'm going to be bringing in Sarah very soon but before I do so I just want to acknowledge the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and recognise their continuing connections
5
00:00:25.887 --> 00:00:27.728
to lands, water and community.
6
00:00:27.748 --> 00:00:45.014
I always want to pay my respects to them and to their elders, both past and present, and always want to say thanks to the First Nations elders and storytellers who have graced their presence here within Kappa to share their wisdom with us in what is one of the best foundations of wellbeing that I have heard.
7
00:00:45.034 --> 00:00:46.874
So thank you everyone for being a part of today.
8
00:00:47.254 --> 00:00:48.735
This show is called Pick My Brain.
9
00:00:48.755 --> 00:00:50.375
If this is your first time here, welcome.
10
00:00:51.096 --> 00:00:52.256
What we get to do is get to pick
11
00:00:52.316 --> 00:00:55.659
the brain of some of our beautiful experts that we have here at KUPPER.
12
00:00:56.039 --> 00:00:58.841
And Sarah, this is her second appearance at KUPPER.
13
00:00:58.861 --> 00:01:01.363
It's been a few years, but I can't wait to bring her back in.
14
00:01:02.024 --> 00:01:05.587
Sarah is one of the world's leading high performance and wellbeing change agents.
15
00:01:06.467 --> 00:01:10.671
She has transformed thousands of lives through her groundbreaking programs.
16
00:01:10.711 --> 00:01:12.592
And we're going to chat more about that at the end.
17
00:01:13.092 --> 00:01:15.354
She's a bestselling author and global speaker.
18
00:01:15.374 --> 00:01:18.797
Sarah captivates audiences with her authenticity, personal story,
19
00:01:19.150 --> 00:01:21.611
and practical strategies for lasting change.
20
00:01:22.071 --> 00:01:24.512
She's a trusted voice across major media.
21
00:01:25.272 --> 00:01:33.635
Her book, when we last time interviewed, Beyond Booze, is an international bestseller, helping people redefine their relationship with alcohol and wellbeing.
22
00:01:34.075 --> 00:01:36.896
Let's bring in Sarah right now.
23
00:01:36.996 --> 00:01:38.217
Sarah, welcome back to Cuppa.
24
00:01:38.237 --> 00:01:38.957
How are you?
25
00:01:39.717 --> 00:01:40.378
I'm so well.
26
00:01:40.418 --> 00:01:40.878
How are you?
27
00:01:42.338 --> 00:01:43.479
I am very well, my friend.
28
00:01:44.139 --> 00:01:44.699
I remember.
29
00:01:45.159 --> 00:01:46.880
I remember our first ever catch-up.
30
00:01:47.632 --> 00:01:52.213
because it was at the time when I had just given up alcohol.
31
00:01:53.273 --> 00:01:59.115
And I am proud to say I'm about two years in now and I haven't turned back.
32
00:02:00.095 --> 00:02:08.597
Uh, I remember that conversation with you, Sarah, and it's sat with me through this entire time, even in those moments of, oh, maybe I'll have a drink.
33
00:02:09.217 --> 00:02:10.838
Um, I did remember that conversation.
34
00:02:10.858 --> 00:02:12.158
I just wanted to say thank you to you.
35
00:02:13.292 --> 00:02:16.433
because that did really hit home at a time when I needed it most.
36
00:02:16.493 --> 00:02:18.394
So yeah, just wanted to kick off with that, Sarah.
37
00:02:19.234 --> 00:02:32.198
Well, congratulations, because I know that it is certainly not an easy thing to do in an alcohol centric society to go against the norm and to decide to get alcohol out of your house, out of your life, out of your house, out of everything.
38
00:02:32.758 --> 00:02:38.820
And I know personally how many challenges there will have been along the way to get you to this two years.
39
00:02:38.880 --> 00:02:40.200
And so congratulations.
40
00:02:41.809 --> 00:02:49.455
And I'm super proud of that as well, Sarah, because it was something that I associated everything around and we're going to get into this whole grey area drinking component in a second.
41
00:02:50.236 --> 00:02:56.321
I recently had gone through a divorce at that stage and I knew that if I turned to the bottle, I probably would have gone down a different spiral.
42
00:02:57.021 --> 00:03:12.918
So to hold true to that and to stay that course and now still be here and not even thinking about it and bringing fun back into my life where alcohol is not associated is something that, again, I just want to say thanks to you for.
43
00:03:13.378 --> 00:03:15.539
A very important conversation today, Sarah.
44
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:17.520
People are coming up to the end of the year.
45
00:03:18.421 --> 00:03:19.561
It's that time of year again.
46
00:03:19.641 --> 00:03:20.602
Summer is here.
47
00:03:20.662 --> 00:03:21.883
The sun is shining.
48
00:03:22.643 --> 00:03:24.924
And there is a lot of things going on in people's lives.
49
00:03:24.984 --> 00:03:27.545
And today's topic area is grey area drinking.
50
00:03:27.605 --> 00:03:30.847
So let's just start with the basic thing, right?
51
00:03:30.967 --> 00:03:34.309
What is grey area drinking and how did you come about this notion?
52
00:03:35.281 --> 00:03:35.581
Yeah.
53
00:03:36.002 --> 00:03:43.146
So grey area drinking describes someone's drinking where they're not a take it or leave it drinker.
54
00:03:43.527 --> 00:03:44.968
So let's just take my friend Nat.
55
00:03:45.008 --> 00:03:47.429
You go to the pub with her and you go, Nat, do you want a drink?
56
00:03:47.469 --> 00:03:48.150
And she'll be like...
57
00:03:49.357 --> 00:03:50.437
do I want a drink?
58
00:03:50.457 --> 00:03:51.298
Do I want a drink?
59
00:03:51.318 --> 00:03:52.098
Should I have a beer?
60
00:03:52.118 --> 00:03:53.238
Should I have a Diet Coke?
61
00:03:53.278 --> 00:03:54.099
I'll have a Diet Coke.
62
00:03:54.259 --> 00:03:58.740
Like someone who is not a gray area drinker has no reliance on alcohol.
63
00:03:58.800 --> 00:03:59.760
It's not a crutch for them.
64
00:03:59.800 --> 00:04:02.241
It's not something they tend to in times of adversity.
65
00:04:02.581 --> 00:04:04.982
They just take it or leave it when it suits them.
66
00:04:05.702 --> 00:04:10.245
At the other end of that scale is someone who has physical dependence on alcohol.
67
00:04:10.285 --> 00:04:27.374
So someone who is likely drinking every day, someone who is drinking significant amounts, and someone who needs to have medical support to safely withdraw from alcohol, because alcohol is one of only three substances that the human body can die from withdrawal from if it's not done correctly.
68
00:04:28.094 --> 00:04:31.777
Most people do not sit at either end of that scale.
69
00:04:31.817 --> 00:04:34.599
Let's just say we put numbers to that scale, a one to a 10.
70
00:04:35.080 --> 00:04:38.382
One, someone who doesn't drink or has a glass of champagne at a wedding once a year.
71
00:04:38.823 --> 00:04:43.867
10, someone with physical dependency who needs medical support to safely withdraw from alcohol.
72
00:04:44.187 --> 00:04:46.550
Grey area drinking describes that middle place.
73
00:04:46.910 --> 00:04:50.273
So I would describe it as about a four to an eight on that scale.
74
00:04:50.574 --> 00:04:53.957
So we've got to the point where we're using alcohol for something.
75
00:04:53.997 --> 00:04:55.839
Maybe it's our go-to for stress.
76
00:04:55.899 --> 00:04:58.342
Maybe it's our go-to when we've had an argument with our partner.
77
00:04:58.622 --> 00:05:04.368
Maybe it relieves our social anxiety if we're going to be out in a big group and we're actually a really introverted person.
78
00:05:04.748 --> 00:05:15.052
Maybe it is something that when we've had a terrible day at work and our boss has told us off for something, whatever it is, the go-to is alcohol.
79
00:05:15.612 --> 00:05:18.894
And there are a lot of people who sit in this area.
80
00:05:18.914 --> 00:05:32.719
But because they don't define themselves as being alcoholics or they're not drinking every day, they're not drinking in the morning, they haven't lost their jobs, they haven't lost their homes, they haven't lost their relationships because of alcohol, we are led to believe that therefore it's not a problem.
81
00:05:33.459 --> 00:05:38.001
and work with people in that gray area and have done for many years now.
82
00:05:39.021 --> 00:05:41.122
Yeah, resonate.
83
00:05:41.342 --> 00:05:43.983
There was three layers to my gray area drinking.
84
00:05:44.083 --> 00:05:45.323
One, I used it for creativity.
85
00:05:45.704 --> 00:05:47.924
So if I had to brainstorm a brief, I'd have a wine in my hand.
86
00:05:49.945 --> 00:05:52.966
If I wanted to de-stress or if I wanted to have fun.
87
00:05:53.566 --> 00:05:54.607
Now, those three factors
88
00:05:55.798 --> 00:06:22.254
probably every day so i did find myself drinking at least a glass of wine or something like that every single day um not realizing it's not only habitual components to what i was creating um but also the impact to my mental health and other well-being areas um i bet you there's a lot of people watching today that are probably sitting into that zone and probably thinking to themselves like what you just said like i
89
00:06:23.404 --> 00:06:24.946
I feel okay about it.
90
00:06:25.006 --> 00:06:29.790
Is there anything wrong with where they're at at the moment, Sarah, just to start there?
91
00:06:30.911 --> 00:06:34.714
So let's start with, first of all, my goal is not to make everyone stop drinking.
92
00:06:34.774 --> 00:06:36.576
So I just want to say that this is not a lecture.
93
00:06:36.596 --> 00:06:37.977
This is not a preaching session.
94
00:06:38.017 --> 00:06:42.981
This is not me and Cookie going, we've converted to the other side, and now we need to get everyone to come with us.
95
00:06:43.062 --> 00:06:44.903
That is not the goal here.
96
00:06:45.263 --> 00:06:49.207
My goal is simply information, education, and empowerment.
97
00:06:49.650 --> 00:07:01.376
and to give people permission to go, if we've realized alcohol's not working anymore and it's actually tipped the balance, then we have full permission to explore our relationship with alcohol.
98
00:07:01.536 --> 00:07:06.038
And I truly believe that most people, once they get into their forties, fifties and sixties,
99
00:07:06.478 --> 00:07:11.280
start to experience more negative side effects from alcohol as we age.
100
00:07:11.320 --> 00:07:13.501
And there's a physiological reason for this.
101
00:07:13.581 --> 00:07:20.383
So as we age, our body cannot metabolize alcohol as effectively in our 40s and 50s as it did in our 20s.
102
00:07:20.864 --> 00:07:31.888
So for me, in my 20s, I would think nothing of having three hours sleep, having a massive bender, getting up in the morning, getting on the tube in London, going back to work, packet of crisps, can of Diet Coke, two paracetamols,
103
00:07:32.148 --> 00:07:34.969
Boom, okay, I'm ready to go again and then do it that night.
104
00:07:35.409 --> 00:07:45.852
Got into my 40s and two glasses of wine and I'd be waking at 3am full of night sweats, full of anxiety, full of remorse and self-loathing, feeling tired the next day.
105
00:07:45.892 --> 00:07:51.154
The constant background line to my life was I'm not hungover, I'm just tired.
106
00:07:52.395 --> 00:07:59.297
And what a lot of people don't realise is even one or two drinks can disrupt your sleep quality by up to 40%.
107
00:08:00.939 --> 00:08:08.665
So even one or two drinks, the neuroscientists have studied brains after alcohol, even one or two drinks, we bypass REM sleep.
108
00:08:09.465 --> 00:08:17.491
So REM sleep is a really important stage of sleep responsible for emotional processing, responsible for laying down memories and foundations.
109
00:08:17.671 --> 00:08:25.297
If we are constantly bypassing REM sleep, number one, we're going to cause low mood because of the lack of emotional processing.
110
00:08:25.317 --> 00:08:25.437
Right.
111
00:08:25.597 --> 00:08:32.763
Number two, we're putting ourselves at risk of dementia and Alzheimer's because of the processing that doesn't happen from a memory perspective.
112
00:08:33.304 --> 00:08:37.607
And number three, we're just going to feel a bit meh the next day.
113
00:08:37.787 --> 00:08:40.970
And like I said, I wasn't feeling hungover.
114
00:08:41.090 --> 00:08:42.311
I wasn't in bed vomiting.
115
00:08:42.371 --> 00:08:43.792
I wasn't, you know, any of those things.
116
00:08:44.052 --> 00:08:45.794
But I was feeling meh.
117
00:08:46.234 --> 00:08:47.095
a lot of the time.
118
00:08:47.635 --> 00:08:51.639
And I think that a lot of people get to that point with gray area drinking.
119
00:08:52.079 --> 00:09:00.166
And a couple of other of the impact that gray area drinking has, we know that anxiety, massively increases anxiety, right?
120
00:09:00.226 --> 00:09:01.947
And you would have experienced that as well.
121
00:09:01.967 --> 00:09:04.369
I remember going to my GP and saying to her,
122
00:09:05.002 --> 00:09:06.983
I'm a shadow of the woman I used to be.
123
00:09:07.083 --> 00:09:08.343
I've lost my confidence.
124
00:09:08.403 --> 00:09:10.444
I've lost my spark.
125
00:09:11.005 --> 00:09:14.266
And at no point did the conversation come up around alcohol.
126
00:09:14.746 --> 00:09:21.689
So she happily gave me a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, but never asked me how much I was drinking.
127
00:09:22.834 --> 00:09:26.636
And yet we know alcohol is a major cause of anxiety.
128
00:09:26.656 --> 00:09:30.357
And I've supported over 10,000 people now to change their drinking habits.
129
00:09:30.437 --> 00:09:44.262
And the number one thing people notice is their anxiety pretty much goes, but it's a vicious cycle because most of us are drinking because of anxiety and we drink to relieve the anxiety because that works for about 20 minutes.
130
00:09:45.043 --> 00:09:51.265
And then the impact in the brain is we would end up producing more cortisol and stress hormones
131
00:09:51.627 --> 00:09:56.329
in response to the alcohol we've consumed so we make ourselves more anxious by drinking.
132
00:09:58.950 --> 00:10:00.491
It resonates so much.
133
00:10:00.551 --> 00:10:10.295
And I think so many people, and I didn't realise this until I, you know, stopped as well as my identity, the identity that I had around alcohol and drinking.
134
00:10:11.095 --> 00:10:17.998
And when I, that was a big shift for me that took a lot of time for me to navigate was that identity shift of the association.
135
00:10:18.038 --> 00:10:20.599
Is that what you see with a lot of people as well as they navigate through this?
136
00:10:22.005 --> 00:10:23.165
Yeah, it's a couple of things.
137
00:10:23.185 --> 00:10:28.746
So I think number one, many of us, you know, the ages that we are, we started drinking at quite a young age.
138
00:10:28.826 --> 00:10:29.966
I started drinking at 14.
139
00:10:30.066 --> 00:10:31.667
So I was Sarah the party girl.
140
00:10:31.707 --> 00:10:33.167
I was always Sarah the party girl.
141
00:10:33.247 --> 00:10:36.507
And it was my house that everyone went to for drinks before the party.
142
00:10:36.547 --> 00:10:39.288
It was my house that everyone came to after the party.
143
00:10:39.748 --> 00:10:48.750
And so it's a huge identity shift that starts to happen with who we actually are if we're not Sarah the party girl anymore.
144
00:10:49.230 --> 00:10:51.070
And then the second thing I have is...
145
00:10:51.823 --> 00:10:56.289
is how we navigate the peer pressure from the expectations of other people.
146
00:10:56.349 --> 00:11:00.875
So it's how we see ourselves internally for ourselves, but also
147
00:11:01.490 --> 00:11:03.511
the shift in how other people see us.
148
00:11:03.591 --> 00:11:11.493
And I have clients, I've been working with a senior partner of a law firm who has noticed how much alcohol has been impacting his anxiety.
149
00:11:12.013 --> 00:11:14.734
So he's taken a break, he's feeling great.
150
00:11:15.154 --> 00:11:23.836
But every week, we have to sit down and look at the work events that he's got that week and what he's going to say when people ask him why he's not drinking
151
00:11:24.256 --> 00:11:29.120
because the expectation is that he will be a drinker at all of these events.
152
00:11:29.620 --> 00:11:31.742
And so there's two parts to it.
153
00:11:31.762 --> 00:11:34.324
There's our own internal shift of who am I without booze?
154
00:11:34.744 --> 00:11:41.890
But then there's also the external version of, well, how does other people see us if we've decided to change our drinking?
155
00:11:43.581 --> 00:11:46.123
It brings up a really good question now about workplaces.
156
00:11:46.163 --> 00:11:49.104
And I know a lot of people who are watching today are inside their workplaces.
157
00:11:49.585 --> 00:11:51.986
My ex-work industry was media.
158
00:11:52.206 --> 00:11:53.227
It was rife.
159
00:11:53.647 --> 00:11:55.568
It was full-on drinking.
160
00:11:56.349 --> 00:12:03.973
Friday lunches, parties, concerts, events, footy stadiums, like it was just always on.
161
00:12:04.594 --> 00:12:07.376
Let's talk about grey area drinking in the workforce.
162
00:12:07.516 --> 00:12:09.557
What do you have to say about this topic area?
163
00:12:10.245 --> 00:12:12.048
Yeah, so it is starting to shift.
164
00:12:12.128 --> 00:12:27.288
One of the stories I tell in my workplace well-being presentation is the fact that in 1998, the fourth stage of my interview process for a investment banking recruitment firm in London was going to the pub to do shots of tequila to see how well you could handle your booze.
165
00:12:27.668 --> 00:12:33.631
and you were basically offered or not offered the job based on your capacity to do shots of tequila.
166
00:12:33.651 --> 00:12:34.812
It was absolutely bonkers.
167
00:12:35.252 --> 00:12:36.293
That was the 90s.
168
00:12:36.353 --> 00:12:48.139
I think we've moved on a little bit since then, but we now know that the generation drinking the most are the boomers and Gen X, so it's probably more likely to be your directors, your partners, your senior managers.
169
00:12:48.628 --> 00:12:51.649
And the massive research came out just last week.
170
00:12:51.669 --> 00:13:00.192
I don't know if you saw it about Gen Z, that they are drinking nine times less than what equivalent generations were drinking at their age.
171
00:13:00.792 --> 00:13:12.176
What this means is we know Gen Z are looking for workplaces where the focus is not on getting drunk with your team, where the focus is not that you're going to be expected to drink alcohol at every social occasion.
172
00:13:12.216 --> 00:13:16.197
And yet so many workplaces are falling short when it comes to,
173
00:13:16.637 --> 00:13:20.520
Do you provide alcohol free drinks at your staff Christmas parties and other events?
174
00:13:20.901 --> 00:13:25.885
Do you arrange social events that are not in the pub or where people are expected to drink?
175
00:13:26.265 --> 00:13:31.789
Is there pressure from your colleagues for you to be having a drink at these social events?
176
00:13:31.890 --> 00:13:40.617
Because we know the latest research shows one third of Australians have experienced negative effects from a colleague's drinking.
177
00:13:41.515 --> 00:13:47.741
We know that 2.5 million work days are lost each year due to drinking.
178
00:13:48.122 --> 00:13:52.446
And we know that alcohol-related time off work costs $2 billion each year.
179
00:13:53.783 --> 00:13:54.043
Wow.
180
00:13:54.323 --> 00:13:58.266
So why do you think companies are so afraid of bringing this up?
181
00:13:58.406 --> 00:14:01.028
Like, I know you and I have spoken about this as well.
182
00:14:01.068 --> 00:14:09.014
And, you know, our aim at Cuppa is to get these types of conversations happening more and more inside organisations and bringing people like you in to have these moments.
183
00:14:10.355 --> 00:14:13.678
Where's the limiting factors here of why companies aren't addressing this properly?
184
00:14:14.668 --> 00:14:15.608
I think it's two things.
185
00:14:15.668 --> 00:14:21.109
I think, number one, the people that are the decision makers, perhaps the grey area drinkers themselves.
186
00:14:21.469 --> 00:14:26.610
So they are reluctant to bring up this topic because they don't want to have to look at their own drinking or create change.
187
00:14:26.650 --> 00:14:31.211
That might mean they don't have to drink without thinking about the impact on the wider workforce.
188
00:14:31.571 --> 00:14:41.113
And I think that there's I've spoken to HR directors before who've said, I'm just really worried that our staff are going to feel like we're telling them that they shouldn't drink or can't drink.
189
00:14:41.553 --> 00:14:46.676
And I said, but this is not about preaching or lecturing or telling people what they can and can't do.
190
00:14:47.017 --> 00:14:58.164
But it is about understanding that you don't have to be an alcoholic to have a negative impact on your on your mental, physical and emotional well-being.
191
00:14:58.544 --> 00:15:03.287
The latest research is showing 14 units or more per week.
192
00:15:03.667 --> 00:15:10.492
So that's about one and a half bottles of wine a week starts to put us at risk of one in 20.
193
00:15:11.445 --> 00:15:13.847
of developing one of the alcohol related cancers.
194
00:15:14.407 --> 00:15:18.811
When that increases to 21 units a week, that's about two bottles of wine a week.
195
00:15:18.831 --> 00:15:23.314
So maybe one or two glasses of wine most nights, which most people would just think of as being normal.
196
00:15:23.758 --> 00:15:29.019
That increases our chance to 40% of developing alcohol-related cancers.
197
00:15:29.199 --> 00:15:39.162
But also, the impact becomes on our brain can't perform complex memory tasks for up to four days after having a binge drinking session.
198
00:15:39.462 --> 00:15:40.422
We don't get sleep.
199
00:15:40.622 --> 00:15:42.123
It impacts anxiety.
200
00:15:42.563 --> 00:15:44.083
It impacts our performance.
201
00:15:44.563 --> 00:15:51.705
The first time I took 100 days off alcohol back in 2017, I was running my own recruitment firm at the time.
202
00:15:52.245 --> 00:15:56.327
I made more money in three months than I made in the entire 12 months previously.
203
00:15:58.128 --> 00:16:07.934
Because my performance was incredible because I was motivated, clear headed, energized, was getting good sleep and was just so, so focused on what I was doing.
204
00:16:07.974 --> 00:16:13.517
So never underestimate what even one or two drinks will be doing to performance at work.
205
00:16:15.675 --> 00:16:19.257
And I love that as well because that is a lot of the briefs that we get in, right, from clients.
206
00:16:19.277 --> 00:16:20.859
We want our team to perform better.
207
00:16:20.899 --> 00:16:23.380
Well, why aren't you tackling this as a potential topic area?
208
00:16:23.400 --> 00:16:25.021
Because the facts are there.
209
00:16:25.662 --> 00:16:26.242
It's clear.
210
00:16:26.963 --> 00:16:28.143
Like, you know it yourself.
211
00:16:28.684 --> 00:16:31.686
Let's get honest as in an individual who's a decision maker.
212
00:16:32.006 --> 00:16:33.027
Let's get really honest here.
213
00:16:33.307 --> 00:16:36.469
You know that yourself and how you perform and how you show up.
214
00:16:36.589 --> 00:16:40.792
It is a beautiful topic area to at least address with many of your people inside the organisation.
215
00:16:40.812 --> 00:16:40.972
Yeah.
216
00:16:41.420 --> 00:16:45.183
Everyone, if you can see the chat room today, please put your comments in there and make sure you say hello.
217
00:16:45.243 --> 00:16:47.845
And if anything's resonating with you, please highlight that.
218
00:16:48.346 --> 00:16:51.709
If you don't see the chat room today, it means that you're not our free member.
219
00:16:51.749 --> 00:16:53.090
You're not on our free membership.
220
00:16:53.110 --> 00:16:54.891
So just join that next time.
221
00:16:54.971 --> 00:16:57.353
We will be sending out a replay after this as well, everyone.
222
00:16:57.793 --> 00:17:00.095
So you will be able to be able to share this with other people.
223
00:17:00.496 --> 00:17:02.697
Let's get clear on a couple of key questions, though, right?
224
00:17:02.717 --> 00:17:05.580
We've spoken about some of the dangers of grey area drinking.
225
00:17:05.600 --> 00:17:05.920
Okay.
226
00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:07.563
Let's get clear for people watching.
227
00:17:07.663 --> 00:17:08.604
What are some of the signs?
228
00:17:08.624 --> 00:17:16.658
What are some of the additional signs that they may be experiencing and they may be looking at themselves or looking at others in their life, their family, their partner, whatever that may be?
229
00:17:17.138 --> 00:17:19.302
What are those clear signs around grey area drinking?
230
00:17:20.347 --> 00:17:21.348
So there's a few signs.
231
00:17:21.408 --> 00:17:28.331
So number one, we often make rules around our drinking, but then we'll find a reason to justify breaking them.
232
00:17:28.491 --> 00:17:31.533
So I don't drink Monday to Thursday, and then it's a Wednesday.
233
00:17:31.613 --> 00:17:34.754
And then you've started to recover now from Sunday's drinking.
234
00:17:34.794 --> 00:17:39.417
You've got a clear head, so why not go and celebrate that with a few more drinks to make ourselves feel rubbish again?
235
00:17:40.237 --> 00:17:46.902
And so we find reasons to justify why we can break the rule that we set ourselves around our drinking.
236
00:17:46.962 --> 00:17:50.986
People who are not grey area drinkers, they don't have internal chatter about alcohol.
237
00:17:51.006 --> 00:17:52.947
They don't have this, oh, it's Wednesday.
238
00:17:52.967 --> 00:17:56.129
I said I wasn't going to drink, but maybe if I have a drink tonight, I could not drink tomorrow.
239
00:17:56.149 --> 00:17:57.611
And then I'll have tomorrow's units tonight.
240
00:17:57.631 --> 00:17:59.292
So then I'm still just going to have the same amount.
241
00:17:59.552 --> 00:18:03.275
There's this constant justification and chatter inside our minds.
242
00:18:03.815 --> 00:18:23.658
number two we've started noticing that alcohol's impacting us maybe it's impacting sleep anxiety and productivity at work our mood our relationships and we might decide oh i need to just drink less i need to make some changes now but we can't stick to these commitments to create change because
243
00:18:24.358 --> 00:18:27.980
You know, we have to remember alcohol is the fifth most addictive substance in the world.
244
00:18:28.360 --> 00:18:30.602
So it's not as simple for many people.
245
00:18:31.122 --> 00:18:39.467
And once you become a gray area drinker, it's even harder of going, oh, I'm just going to drink less because we've created neural pathways in our brain with associations.
246
00:18:39.567 --> 00:18:42.729
When I feel X, I drink and it makes me feel Y.
247
00:18:43.049 --> 00:18:51.654
So as soon as I think the dangerous area, the most dangerous place to be is if you've created a neural pathway that says when I'm stressed,
248
00:18:52.673 --> 00:18:55.619
and I drink alcohol, it makes the stress go away.
249
00:18:55.919 --> 00:19:01.730
And we know that gray area drinkers cite stress as the number one reason for their drinking, particularly workplace stress.
250
00:19:02.464 --> 00:19:11.250
And so if you've created that neural pathway, you're in a whole world of trouble because your brain wants to short circuit and take the shortcut every time it can to preserve energy.
251
00:19:11.530 --> 00:19:17.033
So if your brain has created an association, stress equals have a drink equals makes the stress go away.
252
00:19:17.454 --> 00:19:18.794
Your brain doesn't think long-term.
253
00:19:18.814 --> 00:19:24.578
Your brain's not thinking ahead to the 3 a.m. wake up, the next day anxiety, the fact that you've got a really big meeting in the morning.
254
00:19:24.878 --> 00:19:29.161
Your brain just goes, in this immediate moment, you must not feel stressed anymore.
255
00:19:29.221 --> 00:19:30.122
We must have a drink.
256
00:19:30.742 --> 00:19:34.584
So for many grey area drinkers, we've created that association.
257
00:19:35.084 --> 00:19:37.706
We might find that we often drink more than we intended.
258
00:19:37.826 --> 00:19:38.747
I'm just going to have one.
259
00:19:39.087 --> 00:19:40.447
And that always ends up being more.
260
00:19:41.248 --> 00:19:45.090
We might find that we're silently questioning, am I drinking too much?
261
00:19:45.230 --> 00:19:47.111
I really need to drink a little bit less.
262
00:19:47.651 --> 00:19:50.813
But one of the key signs and for everyone listening now would be this.
263
00:19:51.494 --> 00:19:57.477
If I said to you, right today, let's all commit to 90 days off booze.
264
00:19:58.761 --> 00:19:59.542
Let's all just go now.
265
00:19:59.602 --> 00:20:02.364
Let's all go together and do 90 days off booze now.
266
00:20:03.005 --> 00:20:07.088
People who are not gray area drinkers, they'll just be like, yeah, whatever.
267
00:20:07.108 --> 00:20:07.649
I don't care.
268
00:20:07.809 --> 00:20:09.070
I'd like take it or leave it.
269
00:20:09.832 --> 00:20:16.618
If we have got that emotional reliance on alcohol, there's always going to be a reason why we can't do that 90 days.
270
00:20:16.798 --> 00:20:17.699
Oh, but I've got that holiday.
271
00:20:17.719 --> 00:20:18.359
I've got that wedding.
272
00:20:18.379 --> 00:20:19.160
I've got that party.
273
00:20:19.180 --> 00:20:20.041
I've got that christening.
274
00:20:20.081 --> 00:20:21.442
I've got X, Y, Z.
275
00:20:21.562 --> 00:20:24.365
And we've created, it's like this crutch for us.
276
00:20:24.465 --> 00:20:34.093
So maybe just be curious about how do I feel at the thought of Sarah saying to me now, we're going to do 90 days off booze, because that can be quite an indication too.
277
00:20:36.404 --> 00:20:42.268
Thank you for clearing that up because I think there's a lot of people just looking and nodding their heads at the moment.
278
00:20:42.328 --> 00:20:45.311
Now, everyone, if you haven't already checked it out, please do so at the end.
279
00:20:45.331 --> 00:20:51.955
But you can find out more about Sarah on our Pick My Brain profile where you get to pick the brain of all our incredible talent.
280
00:20:52.276 --> 00:20:54.918
I don't want you to go there yet because we've still got a couple more questions for Sarah.
281
00:20:55.198 --> 00:20:56.939
But just have that in mind as well.
282
00:20:56.979 --> 00:21:04.645
If you want to take action and, again, if you check out Sarah's website as well, it has incredible resources on there and also coaching and all the other things.
283
00:21:05.325 --> 00:21:24.070
um as well but i'd love sarah for you to break down the the process and the and the steps of how to change your drinking habits i think it's important now we've spoken a lot about where it might be where people might be but how do they how do they navigate through this what are the steps that you usually encourage um your people that you coach
284
00:21:25.854 --> 00:21:48.605
it's really important first of all to start with just being honest how many units a week am i drinking because a unit is not glass so some people go oh i have a unit and one unit a night one drink a night now i can assure you when i was drinking and i'm just coming up to six and a half years now alcohol free and when i was drinking one glass was probably three units
285
00:21:49.205 --> 00:21:52.069
I was quite generous with my serving size at home.
286
00:21:52.449 --> 00:22:01.702
So if we're having one glass, but it's a decent sized glass and it's an alcohol that has an ABV of around 14%, then that's probably three units in one glass.
287
00:22:01.822 --> 00:22:04.065
One glass a night is 21 units a week.
288
00:22:04.165 --> 00:22:06.468
That puts you into the heavy drinking category.
289
00:22:06.848 --> 00:22:13.816
which massively goes on to cause problems with gut health, cancer risks, stroke risk, liver disease and everything like that.
290
00:22:13.876 --> 00:22:17.901
So it's really good to simply start with how much am I drinking?
291
00:22:18.542 --> 00:22:22.546
Second thing to ask yourself is what do I rely on alcohol for?
292
00:22:22.566 --> 00:22:23.788
So what are my triggers?
293
00:22:24.328 --> 00:22:26.671
What are the reasons that I drink?
294
00:22:27.860 --> 00:22:40.473
And then the third thing is to start to get curious and not say to yourself, I have to stop forever or anything like that, but commit to doing an experiment and noticing how do I feel when
295
00:22:41.367 --> 00:22:52.652
If I do 28 days, four weeks off booze, give yourself that opportunity because most people in the Western world will never take long enough from alcohol to know how they feel without it.
296
00:22:53.032 --> 00:22:55.913
It takes 72 hours for alcohol to leave our system.
297
00:22:56.393 --> 00:23:04.656
So we're not going to be on full mojo, 10 out of 10 productivity and optimizing our life.
298
00:23:05.657 --> 00:23:08.558
Even if you were drinking twice a week on a Sunday and a Wednesday,
299
00:23:09.058 --> 00:23:11.559
you would still be having those impacts of alcohol.
300
00:23:11.899 --> 00:23:17.921
So give yourself the opportunity of taking 28 days off and noticing how you feel.
301
00:23:17.981 --> 00:23:20.902
Keep a wee record of what's my sleep like?
302
00:23:21.663 --> 00:23:22.803
What's my energy like?
303
00:23:23.403 --> 00:23:24.764
What's my mental health like?
304
00:23:25.164 --> 00:23:26.464
What's my anxiety like?
305
00:23:26.985 --> 00:23:28.925
What's my performance at work like?
306
00:23:29.385 --> 00:23:30.946
How do I feel in the morning?
307
00:23:31.086 --> 00:23:32.647
Am I hitting my goals more?
308
00:23:32.707 --> 00:23:35.768
Because what I find is for so many people,
309
00:23:36.703 --> 00:23:40.585
many grey area drinkers are the coulda, shoulda, woulda type people.
310
00:23:40.665 --> 00:23:41.866
So we have big plans.
311
00:23:41.986 --> 00:23:47.029
We promise ourselves all these things that we're going to do, but alcohol kind of holds us back a bit.
312
00:23:47.609 --> 00:23:52.752
And I find that when people take that break from alcohol, they start actually hitting their goals.
313
00:23:52.793 --> 00:23:54.854
They're being consistent with exercise.
314
00:23:54.894 --> 00:23:56.775
They're being consistent with diet.
315
00:23:56.835 --> 00:24:01.798
They are showing up earlier for work if they wanted to and getting things done.
316
00:24:02.098 --> 00:24:05.280
The impact it has on so many areas of our life is so much...
317
00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:06.601
Beyond Alcohol.
318
00:24:07.182 --> 00:24:14.030
You can head to my website, which has a guide on it, which has got all my top resources for taking a break from alcohol.
319
00:24:14.050 --> 00:24:20.698
So it's starting to listen to some of the great podcasts out there, reading some of the books, and there's some great TED Talks.
320
00:24:21.257 --> 00:24:24.498
You know, we live in a world that promotes alcohol everywhere we go.
321
00:24:24.578 --> 00:24:31.040
And one of the tips for changing is to start consuming other information around alcohol.
322
00:24:31.620 --> 00:24:35.561
And that's how we start to create some kind of change.
323
00:24:35.581 --> 00:24:46.844
And then the fourth thing would be exercise is I don't know anyone who successfully long term changed their relationship with alcohol that didn't add some form of exercise in.
324
00:24:46.864 --> 00:24:49.085
That is all related to dopamine.
325
00:24:49.670 --> 00:24:56.892
Andrew Huberman, the very famous neuroscientist said, be careful of anything that gives you a dopamine hit that doesn't require any effort.
326
00:24:57.612 --> 00:25:03.593
Dopamine hits without effort are where addiction lie, because we don't actually have to do anything to get the dopamine.
327
00:25:04.073 --> 00:25:07.034
Whereas exercise is effort-based dopamine.
328
00:25:07.154 --> 00:25:08.254
It makes us feel good.
329
00:25:08.354 --> 00:25:09.534
It increases our dopamine.
330
00:25:09.554 --> 00:25:15.916
And then the brain is not left searching for dopamine from a quick fix because it's earned it through exercise.
331
00:25:15.936 --> 00:25:17.176
So it's a great tip as well.
332
00:25:18.864 --> 00:25:20.425
Absolutely love that tip.
333
00:25:21.046 --> 00:25:26.290
Elsie wrote, hi, two years sober, and I was one of those people who needed medical intervention.
334
00:25:26.330 --> 00:25:29.052
Haven't touched a drop since October 2nd, 2023.
335
00:25:29.132 --> 00:25:29.553
Well done.
336
00:25:29.733 --> 00:25:30.133
Well done.
337
00:25:30.634 --> 00:25:31.935
Amazing.
338
00:25:32.255 --> 00:25:34.357
What about non-alcoholic beverages?
339
00:25:34.657 --> 00:25:35.337
Where do you sit with that?
340
00:25:35.898 --> 00:25:37.519
Is it a trickery that is good?
341
00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:47.267
Oh, look, I have got so many people in my world who have successfully changed their relationship with alcohol through using alcohol-free drinks.
342
00:25:47.942 --> 00:25:52.027
And we have the saying in my community, keep the ritual, change the ingredient.
343
00:25:52.488 --> 00:25:58.695
So if the ritual is I pour a drink at five o'clock, pour an alcohol free beer, pour an alcohol free gin and tonic.
344
00:25:59.766 --> 00:26:05.588
I think for people with end stage physical addiction to alcohol, these drinks are not a good idea.
345
00:26:06.088 --> 00:26:09.269
For grey area drinkers, they tend to be a brilliant idea.
346
00:26:09.710 --> 00:26:12.651
And I relied on them probably a lot more at the start.
347
00:26:12.751 --> 00:26:16.772
I very rarely touch them now because I just don't like consuming anything with loads of sugar.
348
00:26:17.192 --> 00:26:20.033
But at the start, they really, really helped.
349
00:26:20.073 --> 00:26:22.014
And I find that they do for a lot of my clients.
350
00:26:22.628 --> 00:26:25.570
Yeah, I've been latching on to the non-alcoholic beers.
351
00:26:26.010 --> 00:26:28.611
Again, definitely not the way that I used to.
352
00:26:28.631 --> 00:26:30.993
It might just be one when it's a hot day like today.
353
00:26:32.230 --> 00:26:42.635
And usually I would have reached for a beer just to have a look out the water, but now it's a non-alcoholic beer and I'd just have one of those non-alcoholic beers because like that I don't really want to consume any more than that.
354
00:26:42.696 --> 00:26:46.798
It's just getting that first taste and hit.
355
00:26:47.158 --> 00:26:52.080
So, Sarah, we've spoken a lot today about many different aspects of it all.
356
00:26:53.641 --> 00:26:59.584
Have you got a, like, you've got 10,000 odd stories of people who have gone through your programs.
357
00:27:00.105 --> 00:27:01.526
Is there one that stands out, Sarah?
358
00:27:01.666 --> 00:27:06.729
Is there one that you just go, you know, like, or is everyone's in the same boat?
359
00:27:09.491 --> 00:27:11.272
Everyone's story's different yet the same.
360
00:27:12.152 --> 00:27:12.913
I think probably,
361
00:27:13.932 --> 00:27:26.842
One of the moments that brought a tear to my eye was, I had a meetup in Melbourne of lots of people that I had supported to change their drinking through my programs and challenges and stuff.
362
00:27:27.262 --> 00:27:29.724
And we met this, there's a brilliant alcohol free bar in Melbourne.
363
00:27:29.744 --> 00:27:32.346
So I hired it out, we had a cocktail party, it was awesome.
364
00:27:32.846 --> 00:27:40.572
And this woman came up to me and she looked at me and she started crying and she's like, oh, you've changed my life, this has been amazing.
365
00:27:40.612 --> 00:27:42.513
So I've got a letter for you from my son.
366
00:27:43.773 --> 00:27:52.301
And her son had written, her 13 year old son sent me a message that said, Dear Sarah, thank you for giving me my mum back.
367
00:27:55.384 --> 00:27:59.408
And I have goosebumps even talking about that.
368
00:28:00.368 --> 00:28:06.314
Because we don't realise how much our kids pick up on us drinking as well.
369
00:28:06.915 --> 00:28:08.376
And they...
370
00:28:09.045 --> 00:28:13.968
I know that I'm a completely different mum now as a result of the fact I don't drink.
371
00:28:14.088 --> 00:28:17.850
I'm present, I'm way more fun, I'm so much more connected.
372
00:28:17.910 --> 00:28:22.752
I have teenagers, they're going to be going into the world of alcohol soon.
373
00:28:22.792 --> 00:28:24.233
They're exposed to it already.
374
00:28:24.393 --> 00:28:28.235
And the conversations we have are so honest and so real.
375
00:28:28.415 --> 00:28:31.017
And I think it's not just about understanding
376
00:28:31.557 --> 00:28:34.538
our own lives change when we change our drinking.
377
00:28:34.558 --> 00:28:36.138
And this woman was a grey area drinker.
378
00:28:36.158 --> 00:28:45.920
She wasn't an alcoholic, but she was not present with her kids in the evening because as soon as it was wide o'clock, she was just a bit distant because we're not fully present when we're drinking.
379
00:28:47.540 --> 00:28:47.960
Far out.
380
00:28:48.280 --> 00:28:49.480
What a great story to end on.
381
00:28:49.640 --> 00:28:56.841
And congratulations on the impact because for that one story, there's probably a hundred others like it that are exactly the same.
382
00:28:56.881 --> 00:28:59.862
So well done to you and everything you've been able to achieve so far.
383
00:29:00.593 --> 00:29:04.334
I know we've only just scratched the surface of gray area drinking.
384
00:29:04.494 --> 00:29:07.175
Actually, we've just scratched the surface of what you offer, Sarah.
385
00:29:07.776 --> 00:29:12.897
It is more to this kit bag, and you've been doing some incredible work out there inside corporates.
386
00:29:13.798 --> 00:29:19.900
Everyone, again, if you wanna check out Sarah's profile in our beautiful cup of collectivities here, you can find out a little bit more.
387
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:21.560
You can message Sarah directly.
388
00:29:21.580 --> 00:29:23.621
You can find out all the different keynotes and offers.
389
00:29:24.001 --> 00:29:29.763
But Sarah, what's some of the things that are really resonating for you in the corporate market beyond this gray area drinking area?
390
00:29:30.243 --> 00:29:38.707
Do you want to share what else is really latching on for organisations and corporates who are tapping into your knowledge and skill set?
391
00:29:39.568 --> 00:29:39.948
Yeah.
392
00:29:40.488 --> 00:29:43.510
So the grey area drinking is being really well received.
393
00:29:43.630 --> 00:29:52.014
I delivered a presentation last week where 130 lawyers were there and I had 130 messages telling me that was the best presentation I've ever attended.
394
00:29:52.514 --> 00:29:54.916
And that was talking about grey area drinking in the legal sector.
395
00:29:54.956 --> 00:29:57.657
And so I know that my message is being so well received.
396
00:29:57.947 --> 00:30:04.628
But I also flew to Sydney two weeks ago to deliver a keynote at a conference on the five pillars of women's health.
397
00:30:04.988 --> 00:30:12.070
I'm also a menopause coach and talk a lot about supporting women with menopause because this is a very hot topic.
398
00:30:12.110 --> 00:30:21.611
And if companies are not offering this support to their female work staff, then I think they're massively falling below par in terms of the health and wellbeing programs that they offer.
399
00:30:21.631 --> 00:30:25.772
So I offer a comprehensive talk around menopause for women's health.
400
00:30:26.312 --> 00:30:30.736
And then I also offer a brilliant presentation, the seven pillars of optimal well-being.
401
00:30:31.056 --> 00:30:32.277
And that's not about alcohol.
402
00:30:32.337 --> 00:30:44.766
And it takes people through these other practical, easy to implement strategies I can put into my life that are going to allow my performance, both mentally, physically and emotionally to optimise.
403
00:30:44.826 --> 00:30:46.427
And that's had incredible results as well.
404
00:30:47.276 --> 00:30:50.601
Well, Sarah, I'm so glad to have you part of our Cup of Community.
405
00:30:50.681 --> 00:30:53.526
Everyone today, please give a wave of gratitude to Sarah in the chat room.
406
00:30:53.906 --> 00:30:59.795
Sarah, before we head off today, what would be your parting words for someone watching who has sat through this session and leaning in?
407
00:30:59.956 --> 00:31:00.537
What would you say?
408
00:31:01.633 --> 00:31:02.234
Be curious.
409
00:31:03.034 --> 00:31:04.175
This isn't about judgment.
410
00:31:04.295 --> 00:31:07.137
This isn't about shame or guilt.
411
00:31:07.218 --> 00:31:09.519
It's about curiosity and be curious.
412
00:31:09.559 --> 00:31:12.081
And if you want to take a break from booze, message me.
413
00:31:12.842 --> 00:31:14.363
I've got tons of resources.
414
00:31:14.543 --> 00:31:20.969
If you want to have me come and speak in your organization about taking a break from booze, and I also run corporate alcohol free challenges.
415
00:31:21.309 --> 00:31:23.110
I did it for a big mining company.
416
00:31:23.190 --> 00:31:26.373
We had 350 people in the company take 30 days off booze.
417
00:31:26.773 --> 00:31:27.414
It was awesome.
418
00:31:27.454 --> 00:31:30.036
And so curiosity is key here.
419
00:31:31.691 --> 00:31:32.772
with four weeks off booze.
420
00:31:33.833 --> 00:31:34.553
Love it.
421
00:31:34.633 --> 00:31:36.034
Todd's written, thank you, Sarah and Luke.
422
00:31:36.074 --> 00:31:37.315
This has been really informative.
423
00:31:37.496 --> 00:31:38.356
Anne's written amazing.
424
00:31:38.376 --> 00:31:39.137
Thank you very much.
425
00:31:40.018 --> 00:31:42.880
Sarah, absolutely incredible to have you on today.
426
00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:44.741
It's been a real pleasure to hold space with you again.
427
00:31:44.821 --> 00:31:52.868
And yeah, let's keep getting this conversation out there because it is a critical one for organisations and their teams with their overall wellbeing.
428
00:31:52.928 --> 00:31:53.528
Thank you, Sarah.
429
00:31:53.768 --> 00:31:54.089
See you.
430
00:31:54.109 --> 00:31:54.329
Thank you.
431
00:31:55.715 --> 00:31:57.696
Thank you everyone for being part of CUPPA today.
432
00:31:57.736 --> 00:31:58.937
This is our show, Pick My Brain.
433
00:31:58.977 --> 00:32:03.240
Like I said, if you didn't see the chat room today, make sure you register for our free membership.
434
00:32:03.721 --> 00:32:04.661
It is absolutely free.
435
00:32:04.681 --> 00:32:07.883
We send you all the details via EDMs of all the great shows that we have coming up.
436
00:32:08.424 --> 00:32:09.545
And stay tuned, everyone.
437
00:32:09.565 --> 00:32:14.228
We've got some big news flowing through CUPPA around our new venue that's launching in Sydney.
438
00:32:14.638 --> 00:32:18.680
in the next five weeks where we're actually bringing people together to hold moments like this.
439
00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:21.922
We've got Sarah going to come in, I know she is, and we're going to do a good workshop in there.
440
00:32:21.942 --> 00:32:24.944
It might be around grey area drinking, it might be around women's wellbeing.
441
00:32:25.004 --> 00:32:25.644
I don't know yet.
442
00:32:25.804 --> 00:32:35.630
And that's the fun part of what we get to do in this new venue, is we get to create these moments where people can come together to create their own moments that hopefully turns into their own positive movements of change.
443
00:32:36.210 --> 00:32:36.991
That is it, everyone.
444
00:32:37.011 --> 00:32:38.812
Thank you so much for being part of Cuppa Today.
445
00:32:38.832 --> 00:32:39.912
It's been a brilliant episode.
446
00:32:39.932 --> 00:32:41.994
The replay link will be out with you this afternoon.
447
00:32:42.394 --> 00:32:43.795
Please do share this far and wide.
448
00:32:43.835 --> 00:32:50.319
And, yeah, again, make sure you get Sarah to come into your organisation to share more about how she can support you and your crew.
449
00:32:50.719 --> 00:32:51.379
That is it, everyone.
450
00:32:51.399 --> 00:32:53.521
Thank you so much for joining Cuppa Today, and we'll see you soon.
451
00:32:53.681 --> 00:32:53.881
Bye.
