E13 - Jennifer Benson's Impossible Shift from Mean Girl to Meaningful Life

Anthony Quinones: And what that made me realize is how utterly important choice and agency are. Because when you strip someone of their right to choose, you strip them of their power because our choices are our power. And when we lose our choices, we lose our power. This is the Create Your New Normal Podcast. And my guest today is Jennifer Benson. She's the host of the Impossible Shift Podcast. Jennifer, welcome to Create Your New Normal. Thank you for having me. All right. And it was an honor to be on your podcast. that's coming out one of these days. You'll hear our interview there. But now you're on my podcast, and that's a great thing. Jennifer, why don't you tell us a little bit about your journey to where you are today? I'm I'm really glad to be here. the journey has been unique, to say the least. I know everyone says that about their journeys, I'm sure. it it you know, each each person comes through their own different struggles. So I'm not going to try to pretend that my struggle is any better or more unique than anyone else's. You know, I come from a background where there was some sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, but I didn't allow that to define me, or maybe I did. it it was part of what caused me to become a mean girl. And at the time I justified it, I validated it, I I excused it away as just being strong. And and I made, you know, justifications for that lifestyle and I brought a lot of people into that lifestyle with me and said I was gonna climb to the top and that the best way to do that was to drag other people down with me. so along the way I I started to realize that the path that I was on was a little self destructive and it was kind of sobering getting to that point of realization. And so I started to keep a journal. And one day I sat down with my with my mom because she had been the focal point of a lot of my angst and struggles. And her and I had a good heart to heart moment 'cause she asked me to read her the journal. And I don't know if you've ever had one of those moments where someone says, Tell me what you gotta say. To my face. But there's something very difficult about doing that where you're you're actually speaking the words out loud that you long to say, but you're not doing it in a a yelling match. You're not doing it in an angry way. You're really you're merely reading words from a paper, but you're still pouring out your heart and your soul and you're saying everything that you'd been longing to say for all those years. So after I said everything that I had to say, there was a lot of emotion that came out of that session. And what had surprised me the most from that moment was when she said, You need to publish this. And I wasn't expecting that because I had her painted as the villain in this story. for the things that she had done to me throughout all the years. And I st I said that to her. And she was like, people need to hear this story. It's gonna help a lot of a lot of people heal. And she said, I said, but what about you? And she's like, well that's my cross to bear. And at the time I took it back and I took my, you know, my journal and I put it on a shelf. Because I was not ready to come face to face with that reality yet. I was still too immature in my heart. I wasn't ready to face those demons yet. I wasn't ready to get to that point. And so I put it away. It took me a total between the span of everything, ten years before I actually picked that manuscript back up and said Now's the time. And let me tell you, Anthony, when I first picked it back up, I sent it to a content editor because I was like, let me see if this is even good enough to turn into a book. Because I don't know. I could be a good, you know, a garbage writer. I have no idea whether this was this was just a journal. So I sent it to the content editor. It took about six weeks to come back. And it came back full of red. my god. I I thought I was gonna just crawl into myself and I said, well, well this was not what I was expecting to see. And at that moment I had a choice, right? You know, here I have this feedback that basically said this isn't good enough the way it's written. And I had to decide, am I gonna fix it? Or am I gonna just scrap the whole idea? But then the voice in my mother's head that said this message needs to come out, this message needs to come out, people need to hear it, kind of like rang in my in my mind. But this time my mother had passed away from cancer. And so I went through chapter by chapter, line, you know, line by line, chapter by chapter, day by day. It took me another year to actually. finish editing this entire thing until I finally had something that I thought this could be good enough. So again, I submitted it to another place. I submitted this this time to a book reviewing house. And this is a book reviewing house with millions of readers and and I paid a a fee for them to review it and they're not kind if you know, your book is not good. They tell you your book is not good. And so when I sent them my hands are trembling. I was like, I I'm stupid. I don't know what I'm thinking to do this. And I sent it to them and it came back and they gave me four stars and they said, fix your your your grammar. And I was like, that's it. You know, they were like, it's you know, it's a beautiful story. Fix your grammar. I was like, all I have to do is fix my grammar? That was it. Uh-huh. And I knew I was on to something. So I went back and I fixed my grammar and then that became, you know, the book that you see today on the shelves, The Impossible Shift from Mean Girls to Meaningful Life. And that started the journey that I'm on today and that began, you know, what what you see now with with the podcast the books and the speaking and the coaching, all of it stemmed From that singular moment where I sat down on the bed with my mother and read her my journal. What I learned from that moment is that, you know, we are not defined by our circumstances because sometimes things happen to us that we can't control. Right? I can't control the fact that I was that I grew up where I grew up. I can't control the fact that things happened to me that had happened to me. Those are things that were outside of my physical physical control. I can't control the fact that my mother struggled with the things that she struggled with when she was raising me and had the the challenges that she had when she had them and you know that she couldn't be the mother for to me that maybe she would have wanted to be in a different life. I can't control that. Right. do I do I harbor resentment towards her for that failure? No, I don't harbor resentment towards her for that failure. Do I fully embrace a forgiveness to her for that failure? I can't say that I fully embrace a forgiveness to her for that failure either. But I recognize that she was only human and she made the best choices that she could with the information that she had at the time. And that if she had different understanding, different knowledge, she she probably would have made different choices. And I think that in the end, she made one of the most difficult decisions that she could have made and that was to let me tell her story. And I'm gonna always be grateful to her for that. And I cherish her sacrifice and I honor her sacrifice and and I think that makes her one of the bravest people and that is a truly admirable thing. And I think that makes her one of the strongest women that I know. Yeah, great story. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And and it sounded like your life at that time was at you hit a hup couple of crossroads there. first you had your your upbringing. then you had to decide whether to tell the story or not to your mom. It made me think about when I wrote my book. You know, I thought that I wrote a pretty good book when I put it out. Well not put it out when I brought it, you know, to the publisher. And then you have flashbacks to English class 'cause you got all this red. It's like you have all this blacking. That you put on the paper and it seemed like there's more red ink on the paper than the blue than the black ink. And you're wondering, all right, I thought I did pretty good. So you're at the crossroads there. You're thinking, okay, well, can I move forward with this? Because even when I correct this, I'm probably gonna have more red stuff when I bring when I get it back. And so you have to battle, all right, should I go forward with this or should I just sit on it? And you sat on it for ten years. And so, you ended up moving forward. and to where you are today now with this book and really your whole platform is all about the impossible shift. What was the aha moment that made you realize I can no longer live my life this way? so it was So b so both of so so so both of my parents passed away from cancer six days apart. And it was absolutely like the most insane thing to ever happen to us because one moment they were perfectly fine, right? and then they get diagnosed and two months later They're gone. Wow. And it absolutely Horrifying, right? So when I discovered, like, so I was the I became the administrator of the estate, and so I went to their to their house and I had discovered the state the state of their house. And I had discovered the fact that they had been living in just horrible conditions that I had not been aware of. and that they they had been secretly hiding how badly and how quickly they were deteriorating because they didn't want to burden right their children. I I was beside myself and I realized that they had made a conscious choice to hide this from us. And I remember when my father there was there was a moment this was shortly before my father died it was like two days before he passed away he was asking me to help him prepare the the burial like the burial situation and my youngest sister was still in Las Vegas and I said we need to let her know so she can fly out here. And he was like, I don't want her to know. And I was like, that is simply unacceptable. Like you cannot just not tell her. And he was like, Well, that's my choice. And I remember thinking to myself that I understood that that was his choice, but he was robbing her of her choice to decide whether or not she wanted to be there to say goodbye. And so I I stood there for a moment kind of dumbfounded because he had made it a decision in his mind that she didn't have a right to know that he was going to pass away. And so I explained to him that he had to let her know that he was going to pass away because he had to give her the choice to this to ch to decide for herself whether or not she wanted to come out there to see him one last time. And that if he did not do that, then he would be s robbing her of that. Opportunity to say her final goodbyes. And then he finally relented and said, Okay, we can call her. And so she immediately immediately flew out that same day to come out there to see him. But she was furious. She was she was so upset because she was the last one of us to arrive because she was the only one that didn't know. And I remember that moment. It her hostility and her anger was so visceral and so raw because she was left out in the cold and she felt like we all had played a part. It wasn't just that dad decided not to say anything. She felt like we all had intended to deceive her and keep this large piece of information from her. She was so hurt by this what she considered betrayal that she did not go to his funeral service. And what that made me realize is how utterly important choice and agency are because when you strip someone of their right to choose, you strip them of their power. Because our choices are our power. And when we lose our choices, we lose our power. And and I'm gonna explain what I mean in in just a second, if that's okay. so when the way that I look at choices are are is very simple to me. I look at choices as actions, right? And when we think about actions, we think of an action and then you think scientifically, we say when there's an action, there's a reaction. Yep. Action reaction. Or cause and effect. This is all universal stuff, right? Scientific stuff, the universe, cause and effect, action reaction, action reaction, cause and effect. These are things that happen in the universe. They are when there is something that is in motion, there is something that happens at the end of that motion. So a choice sets off a chain r reaction that happens. And when you make a choice, something is gonna happen at the end of that choice. Now, depending on the size of the choice, nobody knows when that reaction is gonna take place, right? Because the who knows? We don't know where it works on its own scale. That's where people come up with the term karma because nobody knows when that w is gonna happen, right? The smaller it is, the more tangible, right? If I have a a coin in my palm and I say heads and I flip it, by the time it hits my palm back, that's how long before that response is gonna come. Then I'll know whether it's heads or tails. Then I'll know if I if I say heads and I'll know my answer, that's how fast it'll be. But in r you know, in regular situations, your cause and effect is not necessarily gonna play out that quickly. It's gonna be right. With cause and effect if I choose to put on a black shirt, right? That's pretty fast. You know, the second you put you choose to put on a black shirt, you're gonna put on your black shirt. That's how long it takes for you to put on your black shirt is the time it takes for you to put it on. But it's not always going to be those choices, are not always gonna be that s cut and dry. Like his choice in that situation, my father's choice to hold back to withhold that information, and telling his youngest daughter. that he was dying had longer lasting impact than he was prepared to accept. And that is why she ended up s believing that the entire family was against her and she ended up not going to his service. And that's a tragedy because she can never get that moment back, right? No. And now she will always live with that. Wondering, should I have gone? Shouldn't I have gone? I don't know. I can't speak for her and what's going on with her mind, but I know that in my mind, the catalyst for me was seeing that happen in real time and realizing that if he had made a different choice, that may never have happened. Yeah, Def has a way of bringing up a lot of emotions. And you know, we're at that age. I mean, I don't know how old you are, but I know I'm around a lot of people around my age and we're always talking about death, you know, because our mothers are dying, parents are dying, aunts, uncles, you know, even friends that we went to school with. And so this is unfortunately death is becoming a bigger part of life now. and you know, the decisions that we make have a big effect. you know, on our future. You know, we wish that we would would have been there and just a lot of different things that that come to mind. So so your aha moment you would say was just this whole issue with around your your parents' death, particularly your father's death and your younger sister not knowing. And you know, like I say, when you're about to die, when you know you're about to die, again it's one of those things where people wanna let everybody know. Some people only wanna let certain people know, some people don't want anybody to know because, you know, you're so used to identifying yourself as a certain way and now you're gonna be looked at differently because you're not as strong, you're not as vibrant, you're on your way out, and it's it's it's a tough thing. It's it's a very slippery slope for everybody involved. So so now this happens and and death has a way of motivating us one way or another. so you've already started this journey with your book. you know, talking to your mom about it, putting it out there, putting in front of a publisher, which is great because there's nothing like being honest. You know, it's very therapeutic to get these things that have been in your heart and your mind for so long that are hidden, you didn't want people to know, and all of a sudden it's like a waiters off. And now you're starting your journey. Now you've gone from mean girl to meaningful life. Okay, that's the Impossible Shift that you started. And and so now take us on that journey now from mean girl, talking to your mom about it, getting this thing published, and moving toward this meaningful life that that you lived or that you are living. So I've actually turned the impossible shift into a three part series. so the the book two is The mother I almost became. which comes out in December. and and the that one was really hard to write because it was painful to admit the mistakes I made, you know, as a mom. And you know As because as moms, moms like to judge other moms in Well not I won't say that boop blanket statement like that. some moms like to judge other moms. There we go. but it it was hard. It was hard. I r I'm gonna tell you one one story. So my my son, he was ten years old at the time. And he had come home and he was saying all kinds of bad stuff about himself. He was saying how he was small, he was weak, he was worthless, nobody liked him. And I was like, what is happening to my baby? What's going on? Where where is this coming from? And I I didn't like I didn't know what to do because this wasn't this was not normal for him. And so I I a I sat him down, I'm asking him what was wrong and you know, then he he he admits that this this boy has been bullying him and my gosh all my like all of my mean girl instincts like I wanted to like I'm back go hulk out, right? And I'm I'm like bringing myself together. But like The like every part of me wanted to be like, let's get in the car. Where's his house? And don't do it. Don't do it. We we've gotta we've got to take the higher road right now. But that was not really what I wanted to do. So instead I I had to I had to find a way to not do that, everything I wanted to do and do something else which was going to you know maybe not be the best thing to do it and I didn't know if it was the right thing to do, but it was the only thing I could do that wasn't the thing I wanted to do. so I told him, I said that I said, Would you like me to tell you a story? And he looked at me like I was crazy 'cause he's like, I'm not I just want this bully to kick. I just told you I'm worthless. I gotta bully and you're like you wanted a story. Like this is yeah, this is my mom. This just doesn't know what she's talking about. So So he's he's like, What kind of story? And I So I so I was like, you know, I used to I said, Did you know that your mommy used to be a bully? And he l then he got his eyes went wide, he was like, You were a bully and so then I was like Yes. And that got his attention. yeah. So I told him I I said that he's like, Why were you why were you a bully that and I was like, Well, you know, sometimes bullies become bullies because they have things going on maybe in their homes or outside somewhere else that they don't know how to control and so they come to school to try to find some way to make themselves feel better, to gain some sense of control over themselves. And they look for anyone, it doesn't matter who, that can let them find that power so they can feel just a little bit better about themselves. And it doesn't it it doesn't matter who the person is. And I said, and in some cases the person that they choose is a reflection of who they want to become, not necessarily who they think is weaker. Do you understand? And he looked at me and he goes, I think so. And the next thing I know, and this was the part that like really upset me a lot, was he actually went back to the school and befriended that bully. And invited him to his birthday party and then told me like that he would wanted to bring him to the party. And I was like, absolutely not. And he said he was like, please, it you were right, the boy's dad was beating him and I'm his only friend. Can he please come to the party? wow. And Anthony, what am I supposed to say to that? But I didn't want the kid to come. Uh-huh. I was like, fine. He can come to the party. If you want him there, he can be there. So the whole time he was at the party, I was staring daggers at the kid. And I'm like, my God. I can't believe they're friends. And they ended up being friends the entire time he was at that school. And I couldn't believe it. But I was like I was proud of my son, but like that was not the result I expected. I just I I didn't know what I expected, but I didn't expect that. The the mean girl in me could not tolerate such a thing. Yeah, well your your wisdom paid off. your story really helped. and there's nothing like stories. You know, storytelling is very powerful medium and you know, just your past Spoke to your son and it did wonders. Yeah. And I'm I'm truly I'm truly grateful, but I do I do still remember looking at the and I I feel terrible about it, but I was like, Yeah. He was bullying my son. but but he took that and he never ever got bullied again. Never from that day that that day forward. And and I think and I think that says a lot about you know, his character and what he saw and understood. because he didn't let them take his power and and his confidence anymore after that. Yeah. This is the Create Your New Normal podcast. I'm your host, Anthony Kinonas, and Jennifer Benson is my guest. She's gone from bully to great mom to publisher. And she's gonna talk about the rest of her journey. Right after the break. Thanks for joining us today on the Create Your New Normal podcast. And if you're serious about creating your new normal, register for my free masterclass, the five-step process to successfully create your new normal at CreateYourNewNormal.com. That's CreateYourNew Normal.com. So now we're back. So looking at your story, and stories again are very, very powerful. And there are times, you know, there are things in our story that we wish would not have happened. You know, we wish we wouldn't have gotten high, we wish we wouldn't have gotten drunk, we wish we wouldn't have got pulled over by the cops. But what happens, happens. I mean, it's part of our life story. and looking at your life story as a bully, it's amazing how. You were able to relate to your son because your son was going through the same thing on the other side that you had dealt with growing up. How important are our stories in your mind? How how is how important is it to tell your story? Because I even you told your story to your mom, okay, and now you're telling part of your story to your son, and it's had a very, very powerful impact on both of them. So How important are stories to you? I believe that our stories are exceptionally important. If you think about it, we've been telling stories since the dawn of time, since humans existed. That was our main medium for relaying our history and our culture and our lives, right? Before we were doing, before we were writing. before we were singing, before we were doing anything else, we were telling stories. And stories were being passed on from person to person, from generation to generation, because stories lived. And then you know we developed other means to communicate. Then we we've developed other ways to to share those things. And eventually stories became something else but the actual art of storytelling kind of faded away but stelling stories is how we share I think a part of ourselves, a part of our if you believe in the soul, a part of our souls because it allows us to connect on a l on a level that is so much deeper than just I was this, you know, you know than a resume. Right. Right. I can tell you, you know, I grew up in New York and then I moved, then I d joined the military, then I was lived overseas and then I did that. You don't care about that. I mean, on the surface, sure, yeah. that's a nice life, Jen. great to hear it. Right. But if I tell you, you know, a story attached to that. Right. Then it becomes you lean in and you're like, no, you didn't. You know, I tell you the story of the boyfriend whose heart I broke right before I went on my first ship. You know, that's much more interesting than anything else I could have said. that's where, you know, we we find out about each other's lives that make us form each other. And that was why I created the podcast the way I did and made it a mini podcast and made it just about stories because I wanted every guest to come with a story and share a story because I didn't want just another sell me what you got. I wanted a tell me who you are. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and the threads are really what make the story because you know, you have all the different events. You know, I was a bully in school, I went to the military, I went overseas, this and that. But what's the thread that connects all that together? That's really the key to a story, is the thread that, you know, it's the glue that, you know, makes everything make sense in the different phases of that story. Now let's go back to your story about your son and the bully in the class. Now I think that this story is kind of emblematic of a lot of our stories because you were the mean girl, okay? You got out of that phase, you became a great mom, and now you're faced with a situation where it's like, you know what, I want to go back to the mean girl. I wanna tell this boy where to go. In fact, I might beat him up myself, you know. Because I love my baby, right? I love my son. So there's always that temptation to go back to your old U, right? We're in the A, we want to go to B, but somewhere along the way, we're always being called back to our A. We're always being called back to our old life. How can we make sure that as we move from our old life to our new one, that we don't go back to the old one? Choice. Elaborate. So at that moment when I'm sitting there and I'm feeling all that rage, right? And every part of me is saying get up, put him in the car, and let's go to that kid's house. Yeah. I had two choices, right? I could get up, put him in the car, and go to that to kids house. Yeah. Or I could choose. Right. Right? Yes. Yeah. Or I could choose to sit there and not. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. And so I have to say to myself, you know, who do I want to be at this moment? Do I want to be the one that's quick to react and quick to to to respond? Or do I want to take a beat? And remember who I want to be right now. Do I want to be the person that I was or do I want to be the person that I am today? And then I make my choice accordingly. If I want to be the person that I used to be, the sh the the the mean girl, the bully, then heck yeah. Choice one, obviously. Get up, let's go, let's let's get it. Yeah. Get that 'cause I'll get the mom. I'm not gonna probably not gonna mess with that little kid. I'll get put in jail and lose my family. But get get me some mom, she deserves it. Yeah. But when you're in that r when you're in that mindset, you're not thinking that clearly, but you gotta take a beat, right? Sometimes when you're in your headspace and you're mad and your emotions are running high. So here's the thing, right? And I and I cannot express this enough. Emotions are one of the biggest liars that exists in the world, okay? Emotions lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie. They will tell you everything you wanna hear. They do not tell you the truth. Your logic and your reason will tell you the truth. But you don't hear the truth from your logic and your reason because guess what? You're listening to those lovely emotions that are telling you all those beautiful, sweet, beautiful lies. Mm-hmm. Because they sound better. Yeah. Yeah, and they help you to do what you wanna do. That's the you you direct you to do what you wanna do, but It's not always the right thing to do. Yeah. So in that moment, I'm there and I'm mad because I'm hearing my son say he got a bully. Guess what my emotions are telling me? Yeah, Jen, get him, get it, get off, get in that car, go get that, go get her. Get her. Get her. And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, that's right. whip her. Whip get show her who you are. Don't let her get away with that. That her kid don't know anything. Uhhuh. And and I'm like, Yeah, you're right. You're right. and then it's all blowing up. And then my logical side of the brain is like, I think you need to calm down a little bit because you're getting worked up. And my emotional side's like, You're not getting worked up. You are right on it. You are right to be upset. Yeah. Yeah, so it's constant it's a constant battle. It's it's it's it's it's weighing on us. Now let's let's talk let's let's talk just You know, reinvention wise, you know, just goal wise. in in you know, in the real sense. A lot of us are, you know, we're an A and we wanna move into our B, but there are things that are calling us from our past. you know, whether it's fear, you know, whatever it is. What do you think are some of those things that call us back to Right and keep us from changing from being the person that we were, our A, to being the person that we want to be at our B. Sometimes it's people in your life that know your triggers. and you know, they use them because that's how they are able to manipulate you into getting you to respond in a way that they want you to respond. if that's the case You know, that's a tricky one because then you have to decide whether or not you want that person there in your life because if they're activating your triggers intentionally, do you want someone who activates your triggers intentionally? That's the choice that you're gonna have to make. now another thing, you know, I I am by nature a very impatient person. I try to call myself patient and everyone in my house laughs because they know that that is not true. so I have to acknowledge that my patience level is like low low low low low. so what I do to foster a false sense of patience patience is I allow myself extra time So that I can create this extra patience, right? So instead of instead of giving someone, you know, fifteen minutes, I'll give them thirty minutes. So that way they have the extra fifteen minutes baked in. So now they've they've got thirty minutes. So I've baked I've baked in things to to give myself more patience. I also have wor learned to pause before I speak. So if someone says something that I don't like, I will pause for a second. I won't respond straight away. I will pause just for a beat. And I will repeat what they say to ask for clarification and make sure I understood them correctly. And I'll say, Let me make sure I understand what I just heard you say. And then I will repeat it. Because that way I could be sure that I didn't misunderstand what they said. And that could give room for any misunderstandings to be removed before anything escalates. And it also removes any potential tensions or disagreements before they escalate. Because perhaps I misunderstood what they were saying from the beginning. Right. So so being around the right people, making sure you're not around people who will hit your triggers, being more patient. let's move forward. Let's talk about where you are now. Okay. You have the book, you have the podcast, the impossible shift. In many ways, that's what our show is about. It's about the impossible shift, right? It's about changing in ways that we just don't see happening or just don't see coming. tell us about where you are now in your career as far as your book and as far as your podcast, your impossible shift podcast. so I released the impossible shift in December of twenty-five. So just just this past December. That was on the anniversary of my mother's passing. And I'm releasing the next next version this December. I also launched the the this podcast this this year and I just got it pushed out to a couple of more platforms this month and I have created an app. in trial it's in beta right now yeah so working on that and and s and i've started a youtube live on saturdays so that is also brand new trying not to get myself too overloaded because i have some I have I am I am physically disabled so I'm limited in capacity but not limited in desire. So there you go. I I really would like to see this through to completion. I'd like to see all three come out before I lose my capacity. Okay. All right, great stuff. Well you're making it happen as best as you can. let's do rapid fire. we talked about stories earlier and we talked about the threads that hold the different pieces of our story together. Looking at your life, what would you say is the one thing that has given you the ability to reinvent yourself again and again? Because you moved from mean girl to you know an adult to where you spoke your story, then you became a publisher, mother, podcaster. What would you say is a thing that has helped you to do all those things successfully? I would say it's persistence. I I am highly, highly persistent. I don't like to I don't like to quit. Mm-hmm. All right, that's a great quality to have. Now, some of our audience want to reinvent ourselves, but we don't know how. And we're overwhelmed by it and we don't know where to start. For those people, what you say is the one thing to help them to get started in their reinvention. I think they have to understand what it is they are passionate about. And I a lot of people say this and and then I hear often that they don't want to mix what they're passionate about with what they work on. And and I get that, but then you're you're misunderstanding the idea about work in general. When you're passionate about something, it and you're you're creating and doing the work towards it, then it's not really work. It's creating it's building something that you're passionate about and you're earning income doing that. so that is a good thing. I think if you you change the lens on how you perceive it, then you can find a way to build an income That will sustain you doing something that you love. All right, being passionate, doing something that you love. All right, great. Now, some of our audience, they've already started in their reinvention path. They're on their way, but usually, most people, on their way there, they get stuck. Okay? It's just part of reinvention. What will you say to those people who are on their way and are stuck in their reinvention path? If you're on your way and you get stuck. there's a few different things you could do depending on when you get stuck or where you get stuck. I mean, there's a lot of resources. There's also AI. I know AI is taboo in some places. Maybe that's not your thing. but if you depending on where you're getting stuck, the best course is looking at where you are where you started, and then work your way from the beginning. back to the where you got stuck. Sometimes looking at it from a wider lens, right? Mm-hmm. Can show you what you're missing. And then you'll realize where you got stuck. one of the things I had discovered when I was taking a programming class was I was looking at it from a really small lens and I couldn't figure out how to program this piece of code until I got shown it from a larger lens and all of a sudden it became super easy. sometimes it just takes looking at it bigger, looking at it from a larger lens. And what that means is looking at it from a bigger perspective rather than from just that small angle from that one spot. Take a look at it from the larger perspective of the overall picture of where you're what you're trying to accomplish and then that small piece will start to make sense. Yes, definitely. sometimes that macro picture makes everything clear because you get to see where this piece falls into it. and you get to see where the problem is from the big picture. Yes, not girl picture. Thank you. That was the word I was looking for. Yeah. That's why we're together. That's why we're here. To to fill in the missing pieces. Yes, yes. Great stuff. So if we wanna create our new normal, let's look at the big picture and see where everything fits together. So Great stuff. I appreciate it, Jennifer. Thanks for being a guest. And you know, you're doing a lot of great work. And you know, like I said, I was on your podcast, and I'm looking forward to seeing that online very soon. So why don't you tell our audience where they can find out about you and the amazing work that you're doing? Okay, yeah. find me at the impossible shift dot com and you'll see all of our stuff there, podcasts, books. Everything. information about our coaching, speaking engagements, all of that. All right. Thank you so much for listening and tuning in with me today. I appreciate you. All right. You're welcome. Theimpossibleshift.com. that's where you can find out about all the stuff Jennifer is doing. So Jennifer, thank you for being a great guest on Create Your New Normal and enjoy your upcoming break. Thank you. Take care. Appreciate you so much, Anthony. You got it. That's Jennifer Benson. The impossible shift. Thanks for joining us today on the Create Your New Normal Podcast. And if you haven't already, please subscribe, share, rate, and review this show on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. And if you're serious about creating your new normal on your turn, not someone else's, register for my free masterclass, the five-step process to successfully create your new normal at CreateYourNewNormal.com. That's CreateYourNew Normal.com. Well that's all for now. Until next time, I'm your host Anthony Kinonas, inspiring you to create your new normal. Take care and God bless.