Justin Kirkland Previews Arizona vs BYU | What's The Toughest Big 12 Mascot?

Main Guest: All right. Justin, we have a big game early in the season. Arizona's coming to pro this week. What have you seen from Arizona? And they're a good football team. looking back to last year too, playing these guys, going down literally to the last play. So they're gonna be hungry to come in and prove something. And I think us coming off of that Utah Tech win, kinda riding this momentum and then actually No disrespect to Utah Tech, but playing someone power four program. Yeah. So I think it'll be good for us as a team, kind of seeing what we're actually made of and kinda opening the full playbook. And it'll be fun, man. No Fafita's a dog. He is a dog. that offensive line, those offensive weapons over there. I mean, our coaches know all their coaches and kind of vice versa, stuff like that. So even talking to some of our our our teammates are from Arizona. Kyle Seffarchok's from Arizona. Yeah, Tommy. from Arizona. So Tracy and Ky and Kyler. Yeah, Tracy and Kyler. Yeah, so I mean, it's not bad blood or anything, but it's definitely important. Yeah. So it's been it's been circled on the calendar for sure. Yeah. It'll be fun. what do you think? Are they pretty balanced or they kind of look more pass heavy because they have Noah? Like what have you kind of seen? I mean, I think there you gotta kinda stay as balanced as you can. Right. But I mean, No Fafita's a dog. You let go. Yeah. I mean, you look at two years ago too when they came to Provo. I mean, it was a dog fight then too. and then last year obviously was a dog fight too. So it's always fun playing playing Arizona. They're one of those teams that you can ever overlook when no matter how their off season sounds or whatever they're doing. So it'll be fun. Hopefully we don't get another rain delay like we did last year. Yeah, that's not happening. It's supposed to be like eighty three. It's because middle of the day it's like one thirty. It's supposed to be a warm one. I'm excited about that too. Yeah. waking up and just playing ball. So it'll be fun, genuinely. And then now that we had it kind of started again and played last week and and less and all the fans and stuff and doing the cougar walk and all that, I'm like I'm looking forward to it again. Yeah. So especially all the w all the fans staying the whole time. To have Beta Tech, like that's seriously, that's just cool. I think this off season everyone's been just ready to go. We're pumped to everybody that returned, like including yourself, right? And then all the guys from the portal. And then it just feels like, hey, we're ready to take this up a step. I think the whole fan base feels that way. And they are just you couldn't get enough on Saturday. You want to stay to the very Yeah, it genuinely was electric. And I mean I didn't I didn't play the second half. and even just everybody staying after to run around the stadium, get high fives, get autographs, stuff like that. I like, that that's sweet. Like that's a that's a sweet fan base. And so I'm excited for Arizona to come in, and even though it's midday, like everybody's just gonna be It's gonna be electric in there and it'll be fun. I dude, Arizona has a really good coach. Like he every time I've watched them, like he's prepared, he has a good game plan, like he's going after what works. So I think it's gonna be fun. I think it's gonna be a close one, dude. And you know, someone's gonna have to make the plays to break it open one way or the other. Yeah, I think that's gonna be Coach Galani talking to us today, he was like, Hey Canon, come in real quick. You wanna just hop in on the tail end of this one. We've got Canon DeVries. Dude, he's like the most popular man in Provo. The superstar. Grab that mic, get it close to your face there. I don't I was gonna give him an intro, but he doesn't need an intro. But he doesn't even need one. He doesn't need an intro anymore. We just barely started talking canon. we're just chopping it about Arizona, what we're looking forward to. So yeah. I mean, you're playing the nickel, dude. Arizona likes to throw the ball. they have a great quarterback, like Does that get you excited as a nickel? Like you're gonna maybe hopefully get some targets, got opportunity to break some stuff up or steal one, or just get a play some coverage and not have to do a run all the time. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's always exciting when you play a pass defense as a nickel, 'cause I mean that's what you're kinda going in for. Yeah. So yeah, it's a great challenge. I'm super excited. Cool. Yeah, even today, we just came back from walkthrough. I was talking to Glasker and he's like, Dude, I've played these guys four or five times. So it's it's just You're like familiar with each other 'cause you're obviously not in their locker room and stuff like that. You only see once a year, but it's like kind of means something. Yeah, no, it it's it's different than playing. I wouldn't say it's up there with a rivalry like playing Utah, but we play Arizona every year. Right. So it'll be fun. and then just like I was saying, like they're super close to us. Everybody knows everybody. Yeah, tons of crossover. Mm-hmm. Tell give me your takeaways for the Utah Tech game. What did we learn, if anything? From the Utah Tech game. Did you learn something maybe even about the the guys who played late in the game? Anything like that? Yeah, I think I think those guys performed pretty well, especially on the offensive side. I didn't think there was any drop off. tracing leading the group down there. Starting with the seventeen yard rush. Holy cow. Yeah, like those guys were firing off. And then obviously on defense, I like we did get too. Obviously they scored, but we had so just some depth guys and kind of figuring that out, young guys, and so I think it's good too. throw those throw those guys in and let feel kind of the fatigue and just like playing a game 'cause like Utah Tech's still a d a division one school. Right. So obviously they're not power four, but it's still like those guys are three and a pounds too, those guys are on scholarship too. So Yeah, those are all their they're the dudes at their high schools, right? Just like you guys were so Right. So I thought it was good. I thought I thought the guys did good. I thought the the coolest part was the just the morale on the team. Yeah. The whole time. Like talking about the fans, but there was no drop off even even when the starters weren't playing the whole second half. It was like everybody's still locked in, dialed in. I think that's something that makes this team special is like there's not even though there's a lot of talent, there's not a lot of like big talent personality of like well I'm out, so I'm out. It's like everybody's bought in on everybody else and wants everybody to do well. Yeah. So I love that. And guys are even bringing the juice on PATs. That's right. Major, dude, I am a field goal merchant. Yes. I'm waiting, I mean obviously I hope it doesn't happen, but I'm waiting for them to botch a snap. huh. And I just get a run a fire call into the back. I'm the back pylon guy. I love it. And I just told Fuller, dude, just throw it up, bro. I'm a high point it. And if you don't, Fuller, I will find you. Yeah, I'll never run up route again. You're on your own. You'll get tackled. You know, and I'll just be I'm not blocking either. Like I'm just watching. So yeah. Yeah. Matthias texted me after the game and said he missed 'cause his his tight end let too many geyser too soon. So Dude, that's on you. Dude, field tight end was a liability. Number ninety six, bro. Was that on you? It might have been on me, bro. Yeah, I was I was giggling too much, having too much fun. Utah Tech was selling was selling t telling some good jokes. Yeah. They almost hit Matthias with the classic, you know, you still doing that thing? Yeah, it was like wow. Full circle moment right here. So No, I I like kicker is like one of those people I would never like want to talk to after a miss. I'm like I was like you have to be like a psychologist. Yeah or something like what do you see you're right. Like you just be with your thoughts, bro. Yeah, you just be with I usually send Bodie back there. Yeah. Bodie, go boost the morale, bro. See if he's all right. Yeah. It was fun, man. I think I think everybody did pretty good. just Staying in it. Dude, speaking of like boosting morale, this is we we okay to go on a tangent here? No one's gonna get upset. Did everyone hear Roger's comments about being close with Bear after practice last week? He said they were like corn on the cob and butter. You know how you just like rub on each other? Something like that. You guys can find it. That's right. A perfect representation of Bear and Roger. Yeah. So Wow. There must be real chemistry there. So I what I'm Getting at in a roundabout way. That just pleases my my ears to hear. Corn on the on the butter. Wow, I gotta step up my game. If Roger's spitballing that. Yeah. Wow. I didn't know he had that kind of you know presence charisma. Yeah, but he's got it. Wow. I would kind of wish I was a corn on the cob. Yeah. You're more of a corn on the cob guy than a butter guy. I'd let Canon be the butter. Yeah. The bond I can feel the defensive bonds catching up. Northern Utah boys up here, man. That's true. Me and Cannon had some some good games in high school. Yeah, we go way back in er every single sport too, you know. Yeah. Did you guys tennis face off in tennis at Basketball. Okay. 'Cause I know you did tennis. So I was wondering if it went that far. Maybe we gotta go play sometime. That'd be fun. That'd be fun. You gotta hit it right to me now. I'm not I'm not chasing it anymore again. So wait, are Roy and Ogden like classic rivals? yeah, Kenneth was Weaver. sorry, Weaver. No, I get you, I get you. We'll edit it out. Kev. Kev. Very true, very true. yeah, we played for the shield. Yeah. Back before Fremont was even around, like it was Roy and Weaver and then Bonneville was up there. So that's like the old rivalry up north. Yeah. Yeah. That one brought out the all the old people to the games. What's the record between you two? When it w you're twenty two, right? Twenty twenty two. Yeah, I was twenty two. So Well, think we only played once. Yeah. Against each other. Yeah. Yeah. We played my sophomore year. Yeah. At Roy and they beat us. Yeah, it was fun. But then the next year Weaver's kind of, yeah. Further reach. But you was PK the Q Based that year? My my senior year. Yeah, that was the junior year. Yeah, that was the team we were kinda loaded. We had Dart, Jay Dart, PK, Kate Harris played Air Force, Jaden Harris played baseball at BYU. Right. Izzy Gordon played running back at Utah State. We had nine of our eleven go D one that year. That's awesome. So that was my claim to fame was I picked off Jackson Dart twice in that game. Yeah. So I was like sending it to all the coaches like when he was like going big. I was like, Yeah. He's a nobody. Check out this. it's so funny. And now your little bro and Logan's little bro are tearing it up up there, right? Quite the duo. That's fun, man. Yeah, they're going crazy. And you and Logan both had great games. Like to kind of balance that out Saturday. That's cool, dude. Yeah, it's fun. That's awesome. Putting northern Utah on the map, man. People overlook those guys and then me and Canon just kinda remind everybody. How much greatness there is. Yeah, that everybody's like, Yeah, and if you didn't go to Bingham or Orum or Timpview, you know, I'm like, What do you know about Roy High, bro? Yeah. They don't know anything, but that's all right. Jim McMahon. Roy High. Right. A dog. A dog. Didn't he go with BYU too? He sure Isn't his name up in the rafters? He it's numbers retired. Yeah. Go Royals, baby. He only broke ninety NCAA. Eighty NCAA records? Yeah. Yeah, at BYU. That's not a bad career at BYU. That's electric. I'm gonna break eighty NCA records while I play college ball. I feel like Cannon broke eighty tackles on his way to the end zone. Yeah. On Saturday. Yeah, he did, man. I want I want the deep dive on his episode on it, but dude, you looked Insane on Saturday. It was awesome. Can we get a top speed? What what were what were you running on Saturday? Dude, I don't know. I'll have to go into Doc Main. Yeah, have him track. What did my tracker say? Yeah. Were you out of breath at all while you were running it? no, I was top speed the whole time. I noticed I noticed that you weren't overreaching on your gosh, dude. The fifteen yard line was kind of like I just saw the end zone, couldn't feel my legs, but I was like, I got it. Gotta finish. Yeah, I got it right there. I noticed you didn't throw up either, so kudos to that. I was close for sure. That that long walk back to the sideline. That's fighting demons over the Well, everybody's jumping on you too. Yeah. Yeah. But you gotta act like you like you own it. Light it up, coach. I'll do again. Yeah. Casual. Let me run down on kick off actually. my gosh. so do we have any go ahead. The the better question is when when the first when the guy has his breakout game, the first game, how many Instagram followers did you get? that's true. They're still coming. Yeah. But yeah, it's been around like 400 so far. Nice. Wow. We've got to get that up there. Yeah. Gotta boost it. It's big to him. You better not change, Gannon. Don't let the lights get too bright, bro. I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna guess that at least half. Probably like seventy-five percent might be of the fair sex too. They could be. Yeah. So if you if you're if you are single, you won't be for long. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry about that. Not a bad problem to have. No. There you go, bro. That's exactly the answer I want for my kick return. Yep. Yeah. We had told Justin, if he scored a touchdown against Utah Tech, we'd give him two thousand dollars Then we take his truck to Costco and load it up with white monsters and hot dogs. And there was people heard that in the podcast and they're like, I think we just need to give everybody in the front rows of both end zones one dollar bills and glitter. Yeah so that we just shower me. dollar bills. Yes. Gosh. I didn't even get the chance to put a cougar tail in a in a hand warmer or anything, bro. I didn't even get the opportunity. It's a tragedy. It's a real tragedy. Yeah. But this week. This is the week. This week will be different. Nothing like a hot game and just downing a foot long pastry during a hotel. I want them to like side view of the sidelines, and it's just me just eating a cookie tail as fast as I can. And everybody's like, dude, this guy's a psycho. Gosh. Hey, this this is your week. This is your week, 'cause we got a short quarterback. Get those Yes, dude. Get those big meat paws up there. And aren't they the Wildcats, bro? They are indeed. Yeah. I don't even know where he's going with that. Where would the wildcat rank on the list of the should we now should we rank BYU opponent's mascots in order of like if you can be the hardest one to fight to be Yeah, bro. Let's do it. Let's do it. This is what was meant to be. Can someone pull it up? So we go alphabetical, first one's Arizona. So a wild cat. Yep. On a scale of one to ten, how hard would it be to kill a wild cat in a fight with your bare hands? Go ahead, Kennan. I gotta see what you're made of, bro. It would be. Yeah. You're like fighting for your life. Like a ten out of ten. A ten is like a grizzly bear or polar bear or like an elephant or a hippo is a ten. And one is like a rat. And one is like a you know, a mouse in your kitchen or something. Spider. I think it's a good like five or six at least. You're a dog, dude. Okay. I was gonna say four. I'm beating the brakes off a wild cat, dude. Yeah. Okay. Colorado State the Rams. That'd be kind of fun. I feel like I'd just befriend the Ram and ride the Ram. The Ram doesn't have to lose his life. Yeah. Dude, if yeah, you just don't want to catch one full speed, right? You gotta have a little bit of documents. You kinda gotta see what you're made of. You wanna take it on and see? You gotta ram the ram. You gotta let him know. That's what it is. That's the secret. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's one of those things. Like he thinks he's got the upper hand till you headbutt him. Dude, have you ever seen steer wrestling in a rodeo? Mm-hmm. Dude, that's what that would be your my tactic is like get him to charge you and then try and steer. Yeah, I'd let him charge me, let him I'd dodge him obviously. Weave spank him as he runs naturally let him know I'm the daddy. He'd turn around, come back, and then I'd yeah, whatever it is, steer wrestling. Mm-hmm. Lay on him for a minute. Yeah. Then he'd be like, Yes, master. Right. And we'd be like that. Yeah, barring. And it'd be like the guy on the buffalo. Or like An avatar when they like link their hair with the Yeah, he would just he would understand. It'd be mutual. It'd be mutual. And then I would instead of like a dog like sick and stuff, I just have a ram. Yeah. And you just get bow. I love it. Like, could you imagine that? Like, we're like in a we're in a tussle right here, and my ram's sitting right here, and I'm just like, go get Jake. You're like at the dog park. Some dub dog comes over to like yap at you, it's like boom. Dog no more. Who's messing with a ram, bro? Nobody. Have you seen that video? I mean, this is like a like an old video of I think it's an old man on the the shore of like a pond with and his his sheep or his ram like plows into him and sends him flying into the phone. It's a real video. Yes. Yes, yes. Not even this is before AI, but I've seen it. Yeah, dude, those things are mean. He's like reflecting peacefully at the pond. Yeah. Yeah. I would befriend a ram. Who we got next, Kev? The horned frogs. That's gotta be a a one. I was state cyclone. How are you gonna beat their mascot is? It's a yeah, it's a good one. How are you gonna go fist to was that fist to wind with a side? So it's a bird? Yeah. Their mascot is a is a cardinal. With teeth. Sharp teeth. This bird's got teeth. A dentured, you know, got the dentures in, his beak, cardinal. I feel like that'd be fun. I don't know how you It would be way fun if it was like life size, you know, human size. Yeah, that would be a little freaky. Mm-hmm. I would have to climb a tree and like fly at it. Yeah. My thing is you gotta try to beat them at their own game. Yeah, yeah. You gotta let think that they got the upper hand until like I'm like flying through the air at them. Mm-hmm. So Eagle powers. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be fun, man. Okay, who else we got, Kev? Notre Dame, which A leprechaun? Yeah, fighting leprechaun. Bro, I would just bring out the sun, the rainbow's gone, and then next. Yeah. I wouldn't even fight the leprechaun. A magical leprechaun. All right. Golden Knights. Yeah. UCF. Wow. And I'm just like Just fists. Yeah, you're like fully knighted. Yeah, he's armored up, got his sword, got his shield. He does have a helmet, so I don't think I don't know his punches are gonna work. So what you do, bro? But imagine if you dented it. That'd be very I would have to like throw dirt in his eyes, go old school, yeah, get a little rowdy. Rotten. I don't know, bro. He's swinging a sword. Does he have a sword? I mean he should be I think he's got like a giant axe, doesn't he? It it's it's like a broad sword. It's it's a big wide sword. I like the dirt in the eyes. Yeah, yeah. It's like are you not gonna take off your helmet to to wipe your eyes? Yeah. Go ahead. Dude, or maybe I just gaslight him into making it a fair fight and make him take his armor off. Coward. Yeah. Exactly. Coward. Soft. He does have a cape too. he's got the Shoot. That changes everything. What do I have? What am I wearing? Like I don't know. Football pads. Captain underpants. I'm wearing football pads. I was gonna say, am I in like like old times just a loincloth? Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm just out there a sash trying to figure it out, bro. I'd have to dude if I'm in a sash, nah, I can't say it. You're you're the I better stop. You look like Nephi in the in the famous picture, like Nephi versus his brothers. Yeah pointing at them with the power shredded out of his head. Yeah, do think Nephi was gaslighting his brothers, bro? Come on. Dude, as an older brother, sometimes, man, even if the younger brothers are right, it's just like You have to. I just haven't had enough of it. And it's just some pride. Yeah. For the program. Time to tie you up and leave you for dead. Yeah. Yeah. We've all been there. He who has not sinned cast the first stone. That's all I'm gonna say. Yeah. No, dude. I'm taking out a UCF knight. Yeah. Why is he wearing armor in Florida? Like it's hot and humid. I'm a waited out. Yeah. Just like I'm gonna throw the dirt in his eyes. Must be sweating. Can't even lift his sword. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. I'm taking him out, bro. Sun devils. That's tough. Now you gotta he's literally a mythical I'd find a way. I'd have to throw water on him. What's what's been the hardest so far now that you're a two thirds of the way through? Anything, canon. A night, a Sun Devil. Yeah, I think Sun the Sun Devil would be rough. He's probably got powers of some kind. Can you look up how tall is a Sun Devil? Yeah, see what chat says. This isn't important. Just changes everything. And how how what is his temperature? You think he's on fire? That's from the sun. I need to know. I'm down I'm like as much fun as it is to just like walk in a room and see what happens. But you're gonna get like I'm good for a little like a brawl. Yeah. But you're gonna get burned, but about six feet tall. Mm. And there is a Lego statue version of Sparky. Of Sparky the But he's got the pitchfork, right? Yeah. Or Trident? I don't know. Both, whatever. Whatever. Yeah. And he's got goatee. So he does have a goatee. That's aura. Yeah. Mm. Goatees are tough. Yep. If I could grow any facial hair, I'd grow a nasty goatee. And he has he has the eyebrows too, they go in and then they kind of sprout up. Really? Like classic eighties like Wario look. Yes. Mm-hmm. Dude, I don't know. And his eyeballs are fire. So that's gotta be like an at least an eight. It's gotta be. I feel like you got one shot and you gotta like flying like kick him in the chest. Mm-hmm. Water if he just takes that, you're gonna Yeah. Spin on him just spin him to Gatorade bath. Just Gatorade cooler. Am I just spawning in Gatorade? Do I just like do I get a bringing I imagine all these killed. I yeah, I was gonna say, I imagine all these fifty yard line Anything that's on the sidelines is fair game. Okay. It's like the Hunger Games. Yeah, yeah, exactly like the Hunger Games. Get that mic a little closer. There we go. I'm just launching cougar tails at him. You could. Get a water gun. Get him from distance. I don't know, bro. That's tough. That is a tough one. Okay. Don't get us canceled, the Utes. Or is it swoop? true. True. Yeah, are we going to Indian tribe, bro? Yeah, yeah, that'd be tough. They just are our skinwalkers and they'll just get us. They could. They maybe that's how he became a hawk. my gosh. Did we customer? It used to be a Ute mascot. Now it's a hawk. I wonder if they have like skinwalker abilities. Wow. It's not even there's not even a human in the mascot. It's literally just a skinwalker. Could be. It would make a lot of sense. I gotta see on the time timeline. We we gotta get some live mascots in the Big Twelve. The SEC's doing it right. Dude, we used to have cougars. I know we did. That's where the rise and shout the cougars are out came from. The mascots got loose. Yeah, and really actually a thing? That's a real thing. We had live cougars and then I wonder their names And then one jumped in the students. The students were like taking care of and feeding them, whatever, and they got loose, and then not the title of like the newspaper the next day was Rise and Shout, The Cougars Are Out. And then that'd be Cleo and Tarbo. See, we used to we used to have real cougars. That's why I think the cap are you guys you're a captain. Can you go to Kalani and be like, Hey Kalani? You're so right. That would boost the morale. That would get the people going. Think about it. Bevo Bevo. And he's just over there. Like just on the field. Just looming. Just waiting for an opportunity. And you got the Georgia Bulldog. Yeah. Well, how about Colorado? Dude. You were at Colorado last year. Dude they w yeah. That Buffalo's running around. They're running with him. Yeah. I think we need to up our game. If we want take this thing to the next level. Live. Not even like some tame cougars. Like we go out there and like go. Catch a fresh catch a fresh one each week. Yeah. my god. That's the move, dude. Tag so they're like and then we know where they are. The everything they can eat is cougar tails. Well, now that's torture. All right, Jake. Give it every give every cougar at a forty mile radius diabetes. We gotta see who wants it more. The wild cougar or the the veterinarian students. I like this. That'd be electric. We gotta see we gotta see what type of men are actually in Utah County. Yeah who's gonna go fist everybody's about to talk. Who's gonna actually go fist a paw with a cougar? Yeah. I would I would call I would come out of the locker room to make it happen. Yeah. Well think about you run around with what's Buffalo's name again? I forget now. Billy? He actually has a cool name. I forgot. But like you get the cougar out on a leash. Yes, dude. Yes. Have you ever dude you ever played Air Force? Ralphie. Ralphie. Ralphie. yeah, yeah. The Air Force brings a Falcon to the game and they like turn it loose. Serious. And it like flies around the stadium and like swoops down, like, you know, comes back to the lady. Really? Or whatever. That's sweet. We are not doing enough. Yeah. She like walked out there when I was like a kid and she like turned Falcon loose and she had like a headset and she was like telling us stats, you know, about the Falcon. And she's like, and he can fly whatever many miles an hour, and that's definitely fast enough to kill a cougar in the whole stadium booter. Like, get out of here. That's outrageous. That would never happen in nature or on the field. I love that. Yeah. My dad's like, that was kind of funny. Dad, it was not funny. Yeah. It was not. Did the Cougars win? yeah. I mean There you go. So good. All right, we need we need to step up our game, bring in some live cougars. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, this is where it gets this is where it actually gets tough. The Baylor Bears. Bro, no, I'm p. He's already he's already said he'd kill bear. I know. I know. No. Are you taking a bear, Cannon? No, I'm a goner. But but dude, what about the Texas? I'm betting a Texas bear is significantly smaller than a Utah Bear. Yeah, it's like a koala bear. Right? Because like didn't they play Auburn? Yeah. How'd that game go? One point loss. They went for two at the end to win it. Really? I respect that. Did they lose 17 16? Yeah. It was Let's just say the offense was lacking on both sides. It was it was in Auburn, right? Or neutral site. fancy. Atlanta. Atlanta. That's cool. Hot sorry. Atlanta, Georgia. I've got some I got a buddy on Baylor's team who played at the Pokes. He's good. Wide receiver. Okay. Texas Black Bears typically grow to five to six feet long and stand two to three feet tall. And weigh between a hundred and twenty to three hundred and fifty pounds. Yeah, lights out. Even Candy could take that one. I'm sorry. Yeah. Lights out. Dude wait, you need to you need to you don't think you take a bear? Like you're in the forest, bro. No shot. my gosh. Okay. Jayhawks. What the heck? They're not a real they're not real. They're mythical stuff. They're mythical, dude. Do they have hours or like they're red and blue? Like a pelican? Don't they look like a pelican? Yeah, like a pelican and a large chicken crossed. Really? I feel like we're trying to like go for the head, like a mythical bird and the famous mascot that combines the traits of a noisy blue jay and a stealthy sparrow hawk. wow. That might be OP. Low key. I know. I'm not buying the bird. I they got hollow bones. You just need one shot. Have you ever bird hunted? Yeah. They crumple, bro. They just I'm just not buying the big soft. Yeah. Soft. Every freaking every new school in Utah, they they can't help themselves. They go for a bird. It's like what are you saying? What are you saying about what are you skyhawks, golden eagles? Every new high school that goes up, it's like bird, bird, bird, bird, everywhere. I'm like, why are we always picking birds? We need more violence, like the Weaver Warriors. Yeah. Yeah. Like just straight up skinwalkers would be great. Wow. Not even have a story. Salem skinwalkers. The Salem skinwalkers. Vanish Fork Dawns is is cool though. Hey, we're not going there, okay? It's like basically Zorro. All right. He's basically Zorro. Zorro's a real hero. He liberated the people. Zorro versus the UCF Knights, bro. Who's winning? Okay, check this out. I'm gonna make a really solid case for Zorro here for the dogs. Here we go. Everybody lock in. Do you know do you know why they got rid of armor? Because armor seems like a great idea, right? Yeah. When they invented the rapier, like the tall the long skinny sword, you could like Poke it in the gaps in the armor. And then it was like a disadvantage because the armor slowed you down. So they eventually okay, just get the armor. We'll wear like heavy leather clothing to try and stop it a little bit. So the dude, the Don is already technologically way advanced. He's like that. He's like that. Changed history. He's like over here, aha, right in the eye. Wow. Yeah. Maybe that's what we should do. Instead of dirt, just bring your own sword. Yeah. B Y O S. Yeah. There we go. Invite some Dons. Yep. Last one, bear cats. Also who's that? Cincinnati? Yeah. What's a yeah, what's a bear cat? I feel like the same boat is like Baylor. real tree-dwelling mammal known as the okay. Nope. Not saying that. Not on the podcast. Not a bear or a cat. it smells like popcorn. Mm-hmm. Okay. It's already famous for a chemical and its urine that smells intensely warm. That smells like intensely warm buttered popcorn. Interesting. So you're you're gonna beat it, but you're gonna be a little hungry. It's a good problem to have right there. It's gonna smell like a movie theater. There you go. Wow. But how what were the dimensions on this guy? What is his measurables? I don't feel like he's very big. Their mascots are tree dwelling, so tree dwelling, yeah. Yeah, it's always sneak attack, yeah. Does have claws though. I ha I had a companion from No, they're cute. Why would you ever wanna It's to the death, Kevin? He doesn't think you're cute, Kev. They're coming for you. tail length is nineteen to thirty-three inches, though. Interesting. So Loki got it on him. So total length is four to six feet tall. Weigh f twenty-five to fifty pounds. Yeah, that's that's like a three, three and a half, four, something like that. I'd just let him urinate so. Smell good popcorn. This is jump scare him. Popcorn smelled good. I would I would befriend him and he would be my Ram's friend. It's like the opposite of a skunk. Yes. Like what if skunk smelled good? We'd be scaring them all the time. Yeah. True. Nature's perfume. Like cotton candy spirits. Bro, maybe what if they do smell good? We just haven't evolved into our true form. Two thousand years from now, yeah. Everyone's gonna be wearing skunk. It could happen. Could be the real thing. Could happen. Could be. That's it. That's the schedule. That's the schedule. Yeah, I think we're going undefeated based off of that. Who do who are we not playing? In the Big Twelve? Texas Tech. You don't play Texas Tech until Kansas State. Cowboys. Houston Cougars. Houston Cougars. Cougar versus Cougars. Yeah, you play them play them. is that I was Mountaineer. He's got a rifle. He does have a rifle. You gotta make it miss. Yeah. Yeah, we're cooked. But it's the same thing. Same thing as Oklahoma State. It's a muzzle loader, so he's you got time. Once he misses, or if you can just take one. it's yeah, if you can just screw it as long as you can. Yeah, bro. You think you can take a fifty cal muzzle loader? I don't know, man. Take down a buffalo. What about old school musket? You think you can take a musket shot? dude, more people died from the infection, right? Have you heard about that? Yeah. So, like that's a slow enough traveling ball that the friction doesn't sterilize it from the air. So the air it flies through it literally picks up all the bacteria and then dumps it into it. It might be the strat, dude. It's how they died. And then once they like got rifling in a barrel, so the bar bullet was traveling faster, it became more sterile to get shot because it would the friction would get so hot going through the air, it would sterilize the bullet and go into you. So it was almost like a musket shot was almost like baseball. It's like They're like throwing curveballs in the musket. Yeah. That's crazy. And everyone kind of knew what their smoothbore musket like how it kind of flew and could like adjust. That's wild. That is wild. You think you take a musket shot? 'Cause this changes everything. I discharge straight at him. He shoots me, I take it, and then I just realized I got like two minutes to make it happen. You probably dude, honestly, like if you look at the data, you would probably survive. You may not survive. I would just die after. You may die after, yeah. But my RAM will save me. There's a reason like Boromir and Cops and all those guys. Yeah, Boromir. Yeah. I would use Sparky's magic powers and just make it happen, yeah. I bet Sparky's tears could heal a musket shot wound. Next podcast we gotta do like which conference like their mascots versus each conference mascot. Conference mascots. Yeah. What do you do with like Big Twelve versus Big Ten versus SEC? A green wave. You like there's some weird mask. You gotta surf that on me. Surf it, bro. Yeah. Like a duck, dude. A duck. Bow, gone. Yeah. Who's got a Who who looks oddly like Donald? Do are we sure like Donald isn't living a second life? Trademark him. Yeah. I think he's living a second life. Dude, how about that game? my god. Dude, I thought Boise should've had him. Yeah. Kind of. They had him, dude, on the ropes. You guys get a watch a little bit of football in the hotel? Yeah. Is that good or bad? Like dude. Would you rather play early and then go home and watch football with some ice? Or would you rather like chill kind of in the morning, watch some football and then go home? I like to I like to get up and roll. If we had a nine AM kick, that'd be Ken, what about you? Yeah, I I like the early afternoon, like two o'clock, three. I mean just a long time at the hotel otherwise. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like sitting around all day. Like the eight AM games are rough. Just you're you're just kinda sluggish all day. All day long waiting. Yeah. I d I wish too. I understand why they can't, but I would almost rather just let just they had just have us be at home, like chilling, and then meet at the hotel at like two for the sleeping your own bed game. Yeah. Yeah. They're just afraid you wouldn't sleep or something. I don't know. It's like military. Maybe. Yeah. And I understand like it's team bonding. Like we have a lot of fun at the hotel. Right. So there's that aspect. But yeah, just the last week and when it was it was a six eight six o'clock kick. I was like, we're just lounging here. Mm-hmm. So obviously not wasting a Saturday, but it's like we're really not doing anything. Dude, why t take you back? Last time Utah State played in Provo. man, it was like a early afternoon. Maybe like a four or five, six o'clock game, something like that. That morning of I found out through the grapevine, won't I won't disclose my sources, that they were starting a different quarterback than they had started all year round. So I texted my gosh, what was his name? Middle linebacker transferred to Tennessee. I'm blanking on his name right now. what? Peely. Peely. K yeah, Keenan Peely, Max Thule, and Malik. And I was like, Hey, guys, if you were planning on this guy, it's actually gonna be this guy. And so they're like, Are you sure? I'm like, Yeah. Like my s source on this definitely knows. Like they're sure. So they're like, Okay, so they're at the hotel. So they pulled up any tape they could find from him at high school with the couch staff and started watching it right there. So maybe it's good to be around for some curveballs like that. I don't know. Yeah. Is that the game that Utah State like threw the Hell Mary for the win? No, this was one where Thule had a pick six, jumped a route in the flats, abandoned his coverage actually. BYU. Yeah. Twenty twenty two? Twenty twenty one? Twenty twenty two? Twenty one was the Tyler Algier game. Okay. So this was twenty two then. Yeah, so I think it was twenty two. Yeah, this is in twenty twenty two. The Tyler Algier game's a good way to name that game because he literally won the game for us. I think our quarterback in the second half had like ten pass yards. So yeah, it was Tyler. And Malik, dude, Malik had two picks in that game and they were both like circus picks. Freakish picks and both of them, you're like, thank you, Malik. So All right. Are we we think we're good. We covered everything that needs to be covered, including mascot fighting to the death. The only most important priority topics on this podcast. I love it. Yes. Well, appreciate you guys both for being on. And appreciate you guys for tuning in. If you haven't hit that like, hit that subscribe. And if you like access cougar content, you can't get enough you know, of this, go to kookconnect.com, become a paying subscriber. That's all we got. Go kooks. Go kooks. Eat some peanut butter. Yeah, peanut butter.