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Hey there and welcome to Conversations Worth Your While.
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It's the podcast where we dig into ideas and insights to help you to do the thing you're here to do.
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I chat with heart-led experts and I ask the questions that I know you're already thinking about, and we explore conversations that spark growth, that shift perspectives, and that help you to show up fully in your life, in your career, and in your community.
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So today we're exploring how to be authentic and visible.
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Now, this conversation is worth your while because more and more of life is happening online these days, whether we like it or not.
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So people are going to see some version of you.
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So you might as well make sure it's the real one.
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Because when you show yourself with integrity, the most authentic version of you attracts the opportunities and the peoples that make your world and the world at large a little more peaceful.
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So I'm your host, Linda Booker.
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And if the life you're no longer in fits, or that you're in no longer fits, then this space is for you because through my coaching and my podcast and all the people that I meet, and it's just so many beautiful resources, I get to guide purpose-driven people to reconnect with who they really are and to let go of what they've outgrown to rediscover their gifts and create a life that feels aligned and that is deeply impactful.
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And if that sparks something within you, you can find me at lyndabooker.com.
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Today, once again, we're talking about how to be authentic and visible.
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And I have the pleasure of being joined by Elizabeth Honeycut of Illuminary Agency, and she's making her beautiful ripples in this world in her very unique way.
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Elizabeth works with people who have a mission and a message that in some form creates more peace and harmony on the planet.
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She helps them to be seen and to get their message out by creating a strategy that fits their resources, their time, their energy, and their mission.
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So, Elizabeth, hi, thank you so much for being on Conversations Worth Your While.
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Hi, thank you.
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That was a beautiful introduction.
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We worked on it.
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So I'd love if you would just share a little bit more beyond what I said with our audience about what you do and who you serve.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Okay.
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Well, I live up here in Vancouver, but I was born and raised in Texas.
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A little bit of a, you know, um rebellious um upbringing for myself.
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And so what I do, I've been in marketing and PR and communications for the past 10 plus years, and I've been gifted to know and to learn and to witness a lot of different ways that people can become more visible.
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And I have consistently found that the more authentic you are, the more likely that your visibility will return to you what you're asking for it to return to you.
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So obviously, I work with a bunch of like authors, founders, experts, people who have like a mission and a message, and they want to make the essentially most people just want to make the world a better place.
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And it's like, well, if you want to do that, you have to start from a place of authenticity.
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And your integrity is the expression of that authenticity, is the expression of uh your inner world, where your thoughts, and you're gonna hear this multiple times through the episode, where your thoughts align with your words and your words align with your actions.
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And when you have that coherence that creates inner coherence, when you have that, that ripples out.
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And I love that you call yourself a ripple maker, uh, that ripples out to the world and it brings back to you what you're actually wanting, what you're asking for.
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Beautiful.
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Thank you very sharing.
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Okay, so our topic today is about being visible online because you're it's gonna be, it's gonna happen anyway, and about doing it in an authentic way, about that alignment.
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So I think we should start by maybe I don't know if you have a quick story or something that um maybe you can share.
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Um, and then I can also share something about like the first thing someone probably is a listener might be thinking is like, I'd love to be authentic, yeah, but um I'm not sure.
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But what all this stuff I see online, I you know, like there's so many, there it's so there's so much what's coming to mind is that um that peanuts character, um, pig pen, you know, like all that, oh like right when we think of online, we think a lot about social media, and it's just like all this, all this yucky noise that we hear.
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So um I'm gonna let you just take it from here and we're just gonna conversate about wherever you bring us.
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Okay, cool.
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Well, thank you, Linda.
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Yeah, well, I'll just share with you uh my own personal experience with social media, okay?
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And so I grew up, I was the oldest of five girls.
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What a blessing, I'll tell you, because by the time I was eight, I learned a lot.
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That's why it was a blessing.
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Uh, by the time I was eight years old, I was changing diapers.
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I had a lot of responsibility.
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And I think a lot of people out there, especially women over the age of 50, can relate to this part of my story because um I was essentially like the second mother in the house, and the home wasn't always necessarily extremely safe.
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And so that develops certain mechanisms inside of me.
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And there's again, there's a name for that.
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It's called parentification.
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And a lot of people, I think a lot of women specifically can uh relate to this, and it does create a lot of adult things, you know, adult adult, what if there's a whole name for it, like adults of childhood trauma.
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Uh, there's a whole study and all that that you guys can look up and learn more about yourselves.
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Anyways, uh I learned how to keep the peace for everyone else except for me.
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And I learned how to do it before I even understood who I was.
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And so, how did that affect me as an adult once social media came online?
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Because I'm 37, and you know, Instagram, Facebook, that all came around in my teenage years.
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And social media these days, like for me for a period, was full of eldest daughter stuff, you know, and like uh eldest daughter and childhood trauma and how it affects you, blah, blah, blah, all that.
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And honestly, in the beginning, I felt really seen.
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I was like, wow, and that's the beauty.
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Isn't that the beauty of the internet?
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It's like we can learn more about ourselves about social media, we can find people who are like us, but I also noticed something else.
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And they were my wound was getting named, okay.
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And this happens a lot in social media, and I think this is really important to point out the my wound was getting named, and then it was being handed back to me as my identity.
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And I even unconscious, yes, identity work, shadow work.
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I was unconsciously taking this on.
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It's like, oh, I was the oldest daughter, I'm responsible, I can do anything.
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Uh, you know, I don't have to rest because I can, you know, I'm strong.
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But do you know where that led me?
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Otto, like that led me to a place of what you would call chronic fatigue.
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If you have ever heard of adrenal fatigue, and I know so many women over the age of 50 and 40 know exactly what I'm talking about here.
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And I remember also scrolling past um the soft life, the easy life, you know, um content.
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And I'm looking at these women, and you know, I admire them and they seem like really awesome, but I kept thinking it's like, oh, but the soft life is for people who had easy childhoods, whatever I deemed to be an easy childhood, you know.
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Somebody could have looked at my childhood and been like, sis, that was easy.
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So let's keep it all in perspective, right?
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But for me, I had this limiting belief because I took on this identity of like, oh, I'm the oldest, so I have to continue working hard.
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And that identity, it might have served me through childhood, but in adulthood was something I had to let go of.
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And so what I learned from all of that is that, you know, maybe like peace is not necessarily reserved.
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What I learned specifically from that was like peace doesn't have to be reserved for people who had what I might have called an easy childhood.
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Again, that's relative.
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And um, it's something that I can build, even if it has never been modeled to me, that I am the creator of my life, that I am the author, the architect of my life.
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And and I can talk more about how I've developed peace for myself.
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But but that was kind of the most important, the key thing with social media is it's very easy for people to identify with it and to create identity pieces.
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And that's where I really, really want us to look a little bit closer at ourselves.
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Yeah, that's that was like my ooh moment.
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I love the way you so concisely put it.
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Um so we're looking for validation for how we feel.
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And so we're drawn to things where we believe we have a challenge and I want to fix this challenge, and we're and then we're we're drawn to it.
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And and the validation is first thing, and validating our feelings is an important thing that all humans need.
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Um, however, I adore that you brought up the fact that once people do that, then they start to attach their identity to that and start to believe that if that's my identity, then this is what that means.
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This is this means I'm always going to be handicapped in this way.
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I'm always gonna have these powers.
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Like, so it it really puts you, it pigeonholes you, puts you into a space, and that's hard to get out of.
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And that's a that's a really important thing to bring up because we have a core identity and has nothing to do with our circumstances and our difficulties and our skill set.
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Our core identity is probably that part of us before the world got a hold of us and told us who we were supposed to be and what we were supposed to do.
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And instead, we attach our identity to our traumas, to our roles, to our responsibilities, to our paycheck, to our size of our office, to all these other things that have nothing to do with our identity.
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So I I adore that you brought this up because identity is so important, so important.
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Now, let's move on to like this fact that it we all gotta be online, right?
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Everyone, like you you want to apply for a job, you gotta put yourself online.
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You want to be found, you know, even by friends or colleagues or whatever.
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Put yourself on LinkedIn, put yourself online.
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So we're putting ourselves online all the time, whether we want to or not.
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Every form we fill out is online, even you know, like, you know, I'm good, I'm getting a massage.
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I had to fill out a form online.
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So everything's online.
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Um, and so you know, I think it it's a beautiful concept for people who haven't actually lived it, like you and I have, that uh being authentic would be so freeing, right?
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To like just be able to be authentic.
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But before it's freeing, the first thing it is is terrifying.
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That's the first thing.
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Like, what?
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I have to show my true self.
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And the thing that I love to remind people of is generally when you're on social media and you're looking at all that stuff, you're comparing your insides to other people's outsides, what they want you to see, and that's inauthentic.
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And right, so so let's talk about that terrifying piece of being authentic.
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Yeah.
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Oh my gosh.
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Beautiful, beautiful, love it, love you.
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Like you get people, and this is why your show is so important, because and this is like why I do what I do.
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It just expands my heart, and I just have to say that because you you understand like the multiple aspects of the human experience.
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And so this idea, like around okay, well, how do I be authentic?
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How do I create peace in my life?
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And so for me, it starts with silence and solitude, which sounds crazy.
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You know, it really started with what I would call prayer.
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Some people um may identify with this or may not, but prayer, meditation, doing it alone in silence and solitude, all those things, or maybe not always silence.
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When I was 19, I went to this college called Dallas Christian College, because I was born and raised in Texas, loved it, had so much fun.
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And they taught us obviously about prayer.
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And they taught us also that prayer doesn't always necessarily have to mean that we're talking.
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Sometimes it's just you sitting in silence with God or whoever, you know, you're the highest version of yourself or your guides, uh, whatever resonates best for you.
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And looking back at that time, that was when I really started to develop my meditation practice.
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And for me, I think I personally could, I was hearing that inner voice uh since I was very small, but when I became aware of it whenever I became still, whenever I became silent in that prayer and that meditation space.
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And that was how I learned how to listen.
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And so I've I've continued coming back to this.
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And and actually, I believe last time you and I met and we talked about this, you called that our energy PS.
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And I loved that.
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That phrase has stuck with me for the past several months.
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Um, and so I can I can share a little story about how that practice affected, or you know, how I've used that later in life.
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Yes, I will let you do that for sure in one minute.
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Um, so uh first of all, I love to, I always love to like point out the the nuggets, the beautiful nuggets.
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One of the beautiful nuggets is prayer looks like many different things.
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It doesn't have to be talking and asking at all, which is what I think a lot of people mistake it for.
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Being in silence and in stillness and listening and hearing and feeling into the who of you and the higher part of you is, I would say, probably more effective than asking for things and giving up your own power of the fact that you energetically attract what you are in alignment with.
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Your highest self um knows what's right for you, knows the way.
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And it's not the how.
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It doesn't know the how.
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I mean, your skill set, that's the how, right?
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But the the the what is the thing, like we like we talk about you work with people who have a mission, right?
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How do people find their mission?
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They listen, you discover your mission, you don't determine your mission.
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It's all about you follow your inner GPS, you get in that stillness, you get in that silence, you discover based on who you are and connecting with that higher part of you, you discover what your mission is.
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And and I know for the work you do with people that that's you know, they're like they found that, right?
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And how you found yours is through the stillness.
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So definitely share the story with us.
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Okay, thank you.
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And yeah, and thanks for pointing out the snuggets and adding that, you know, how prayer it looks different, or meditation, you know, it's like it varies.
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And so I really appreciate you uh pointing that out because I really agree.
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But for me, so I think this is a fun story, and I think it has a lot to do with meditation and prayer and listening to that inner voice.
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And I guarantee all this relates back to authenticity is being able first, before you can be authentic, you got to hear inside your most authentic version of you, like outside of the noise of all the voices.
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And I just love how you mentioned earlier, like how you know, people identifying with their trauma.
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And I've totally have done that for so I did that for a long time.
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And so when I was, how old was I?
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I was in my late 20s, I don't even remember, and or the exact age, but it was my first move out of the country.
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I had visited Mexico, but I hadn't really adventured or explored, and I was like, you know what?
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I'm just gonna move to Spain.
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I've never been to Spain, um, but I'm gonna move there.
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So I packed up my bags and I got on a plane and I landed in Spain, you know.
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It was an international airport in a totally different country.
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It was the first time I had been in a totally different country in an airport.
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It was chaotic and fun.
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Um, and everybody is this was in Madrid, Spain.
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So everybody's speaking Spaniard Spanish.
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So if you know Spaniard Spanish, you know it's fast and like articulate.
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And I love, I love Spain.
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Shout out to all my Spanish friends out there.
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Um and I get off the plane and I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't have, I didn't think to get actual Euros, like cash Euros, you know, to like get me to my hotel room kind of deal.
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And so so anyway, so when you get off the plane, there's like a shuttle bus, and this shuttle bus, it costs five euros and it's gonna take me to the place that I need to go, essentially.
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I figured that out.
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And I'm like, oh heavens, good gracious heavens, I don't have any Euros.
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What am I gonna do?
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And so I'm like silently talking to God in my head, and I'm just breathing through it.
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I go get myself a coffee and the coffee, the coffee cup that the coffee came in, I go to throw it away at this trash can.
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And what do you know?
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Right then and there, an absolute miracle on the ground, right next to the trash can is a five-dollar euro.
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Right, that's fantastic.
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I love that.
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And so I just say that to say that it's like um that's like a miraculous moment of listening to my inner wisdom or my inner voice.
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But there are, you can call it a miracle or a luck, whatever, but uncertainty doesn't necessarily mean that we're unsupported.
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And for me, that support comes from that inner world, that inner knowing, that inner voice, that higher power.
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And and that's also where my source of peace comes from as well.
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And peace doesn't necessarily mean we know exactly how everything's gonna work out or we have the exact perfect thing to say.
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You know, it's just trusting that what emanates from us is going to be like the best authentic version of us at that time.
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That was my yeah, yeah, for sure.
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Ah, beautiful.
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Thank you for sharing that.
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I love these little, you know, synchronicities and in miracles that we have, we each have the ability to bring to us.
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Um, so that's that's beautiful.
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I want to talk next about the terror of being seen, the vulnerability uh of being seen.
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Um, I think that's probably the biggest obstacle that people have of showing their true selves.
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Um one of the one of the things that that um one of the journeys that I have I I undertook uh a long time ago was to just was when I first realized that I was identifying as a victim, even though that I was never a down person.
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I, you know, I always felt like, oh, yeah, everything's good and look what I can do, you know, and I was positive and doing a lot of beautiful things.
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But I recognized I had been telling this the way I saw my history was from a victim's perspective, not a hero's perspective.
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And so the last thing I wanted to do when I to be authentic was to show that I was a victim because that felt yucky because I had spent time and intention to move through that mindset into a hero's mindset to recognize the truth of why I went through all that and what I actually did and how I'm actually a hero and not a victim, right?
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So I looked through all those life experiences and saw them totally different, which changed exactly that identification from victim to hero, right?
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Or victor.
00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:31.920
Um and so one of the fears to be authentic is like, what if that pulls me back into victimhood, right?
00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:48.319
So that would be someone for someone like me who's really spent time getting like an intention getting out of it, to be like, I don't want to be dragged back, especially since you and I already talked about when you recognize something that someone can name your pain, now you're identifying with it and you be that becomes your identity.
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:50.160
So that would that would be a fear.
00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:52.640
Another fear is that it's just unsafe.
00:20:52.640 --> 00:21:05.839
It's unsafe for for people to really see me because then they'll know that I don't have all my shit together, that I'm not as smart as I pretend I am, that I'm not all that I'm not good enough shit comes out.
00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:06.319
Right.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:11.119
So that that get that whole persona of I got it together gets threatened.
00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:20.000
And that underlying unfortunate belief that most people have of their that is attached to their perception of worthiness is I'm not good enough.
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:22.160
I can't dare put that out there.
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:23.759
Everyone will see.
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:27.119
So that's a those are big fears.
00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:38.079
Those are a couple big fears, and just the way they might show up, they show up in a lot of different ways, but that's just a few examples of how a listener might be like, oh my gosh, what um I can't show my true self, right?
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:39.279
Well, good.
00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:40.880
Now we're getting into the weeds of it.
00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:41.759
We're getting deep with it.
00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:42.720
Exactly.
00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:44.400
And you know what I have to say to that?
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.559
Good, because you don't know what you're doing.
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:49.440
I don't really, like, I really don't know what I'm doing.
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.880
Like, honestly, like we, I don't have it all together.
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:57.119
And like none of us actually have it all together.
00:21:57.119 --> 00:21:58.000
Good.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:59.759
Let those parts of you be shown.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:02.799
And yes, you might have fear come up.
00:22:02.799 --> 00:22:09.039
Yes, it might be hard, but good, because that's your shadow work right there.
00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:10.640
So, and you know what?
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:18.960
And I think that it's a that, it's like it's almost a spiritual journey allowing yourself to be seen, even in our messiness.
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:25.359
But it's the most liberating experience that a person, I believe, could ever have.
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:32.480
Because then those parts of you that you felt were unacceptable, those are the parts of you that you don't want to be seen.
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:36.319
And believe me, I can resonate.
00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:38.799
I can resonate.
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:48.000
But those parts of me that I carried where I had shame, where I had guilt, where I tried to hide those things, I was just keeping those things locked away inside of me and nothing was happening with them.
00:22:48.000 --> 00:23:02.880
But then whenever I was so brave as to open up and to allow someone else to see that messiness, and then I got accepted, then I received connection, then people were like, oh my gosh, Elizabeth, wow, I can really relate to you.
00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:09.119
Then the people who people's expectations of me were in alignment with what I could actually give.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:12.960
I wasn't underpromising and feeling like I wasn't being valued properly.
00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:16.000
I wasn't over-promising and then not showing up for people.
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:19.359
I was I was promising what I actually am.
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:24.480
And how crazy is it that that right there is monumental?
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:25.680
It really is.
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:31.759
And it's the the point is if you're showing people the not true you, then they don't even like you.
00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:33.839
They just like the version you're showing.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:36.160
They're accepting the version you're showing.
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:41.039
And so then when you start doing that, then it feels very scary to show yourself.
00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:51.119
But when you show who you truly are, then you can know for certain that you're good enough because they accept and love you.
00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:52.799
And so do you accept and love you.
00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:57.839
That's the work to be done in all your messiness, in all those faults.
00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:04.480
And when you recognize that, then the one thing that almost dissipates all by itself is shame.
00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:09.119
And shame is the most destructive of all the emotions.
00:24:09.119 --> 00:24:20.720
And when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, to be seen, to be honest with yourself and honest with others, then and then you recognize that they're accepting you.
00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:26.880
And of course, your own work, like I said, is you accepting you, then that shame just like it just goes.
00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:29.519
There's it, it doesn't, it doesn't belong.
00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:33.359
It's only there trying to keep a secret that you don't need to keep.
00:24:34.319 --> 00:24:34.640
Yeah.
00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:36.880
I love how you say that shame is destructive.
00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:38.079
That's so interesting to me.
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:40.880
Yeah, the most destructive of all the emotions we can have.
00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:43.440
It's just, it's just awful eats away.
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:44.400
So yeah.
00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:44.960
Okay.
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:46.480
Um all right.
00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:49.440
This has been such an incredible conversation.
00:24:49.440 --> 00:25:01.279
Um, so I like to always finish with a turtle step, something someone can do right now before they, before listener, before you hit play on the next podcast episode, something you'll actually do.
00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:11.759
Because, you know, the purpose of this podcast is to help you to do the thing you're here to do, to help you to discover it, to help you to own it, and to to help you to do it.
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:19.279
So, um, um, Elizabeth, what's a little turtle step, something really small that someone will actually do that you can offer for us today?
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:20.480
Oh, I love that.
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:22.480
I love, I love that, I love that, I love that.
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:23.519
I'll tell you what.
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:25.839
I think most of us have a dream.
00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:32.480
A lot of people have a dream that got delayed, and most often for like very real life reasons.
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:34.240
And, you know, whatever it might be.
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:39.680
Oh, I moved 12 times and then my relationship ended, and then this happened, you know, baby daddy did that.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.680
I don't know, whatever it might be.
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:50.400
But I want you to uh people who listen to this podcast, I want them to think of today, this podcast, let it be that coming back moment.
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:52.400
Let it like the it stops.
00:25:52.400 --> 00:26:01.839
All right, we're coming back to the heart, coming back to that dream that might have been forgotten or might have gotten a little bit delayed, even if it was just a few days or several years.
00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:02.559
I don't care.
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:05.839
We're coming back to our center, coming back to our dream.
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:13.200
So I want you to grab a sticky note or a piece of paper and a piece of tape, I don't care what it is, and I want you to finish this sentence.
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:19.839
I'm coming back to whatever it is, and it's safe for me to have it.
00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:25.279
I'm coming back to insert your dream, and it's safe for me to have it.
00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:26.799
This is an affirmation.
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:34.079
And maybe it's you're coming back to your business, I'm coming back to my health, I'm coming back to my love, my, I don't know what it could be.
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:42.079
Write it down, put it in your bathroom, put it by your bedroom door, by your front door so you see it frequently, and just say it out loud once a day.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:43.039
Say it out loud.
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:52.000
And what that right there is identity shadow work, and it's telling you it's safe for you to have your dreams and it's safe for you to be authentic.
00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:52.640
Awesome.
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:53.920
I love that.
00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:57.279
What a beautiful step! Oh my gosh, beautiful turtle step.
00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:59.759
Thank you, Elizabeth, for for sharing that.
00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:08.160
Um, that's that's incredible because we started this conversation talking about identity, we're finishing with identity shadow work.
00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:16.960
Um, and I love that you brought the safety in because that's the biggest yeah, but to being authentic uh uh and being allow yourself to be seen in who you truly are.
00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:18.720
So I want to say thank you so much.
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:20.880
This has been such a lovely conversation.
00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:30.240
Um, if someone wants to get a hold of you, um, if they're ready to get their message out into the world, like, oh scary, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'd like to do it.
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:31.839
Um, what can they do?
00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:38.160
Well, my website's in your show notes uh and also my email address, my LinkedIn, my Instagram, find me there.
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:42.240
Uh you can book a free consultation, a free like little getting to know you session.
00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:48.480
Um, it's also how my one-on-one mentorship works, and uh people can schedule that visibility strategy sessions for me.
00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:54.480
But the thing I'm most excited about is I will be launching a course called How to Book Yourself on Podcasts.
00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:58.240
And you can sign up for that after November 1st on my website.
00:27:58.240 --> 00:28:01.440
And then I always have free networking events available each month.
00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:02.559
So that's everything.
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:03.279
Perfect.
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:04.079
Um, definitely.
00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:05.839
Everything will be in the show notes.
00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:07.680
Okay, that is our show.
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:15.359
I am Linda Booker, guiding people to know their worth, to reconnect with their gifts and create lives that are fully aligned and deeply impactful.
00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:18.799
In short, to do the thing you're here to do.
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:33.440
So if you are sensing it's time, you can explore what that looks like at lindabooker.com where you'll find direction and clarity, a lot of cool tools and a link so you can book a complimentary clarity chat with me.
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:45.039
If today's episode sparked something for you, please like it, please share it, and subscribe because you don't want to miss what happens next week, which will be another uplifting conversation designed to support your growth.
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:51.599
So until next time, make sure you've made this conversation worth your while by feeling the spark that it ignited.
00:00:01.840 --> 00:00:04.400
Hey there and welcome to Conversations Worth Your While.
00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:09.759
It's the podcast where we dig into ideas and insights to help you to do the thing you're here to do.
00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:22.640
I chat with heart-led experts and I ask the questions that I know you're already thinking about, and we explore conversations that spark growth, that shift perspectives, and that help you to show up fully in your life, in your career, and in your community.
00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:26.239
So today we're exploring how to be authentic and visible.
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Now, this conversation is worth your while because more and more of life is happening online these days, whether we like it or not.
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So people are going to see some version of you.
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So you might as well make sure it's the real one.
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Because when you show yourself with integrity, the most authentic version of you attracts the opportunities and the peoples that make your world and the world at large a little more peaceful.
00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:51.520
So I'm your host, Linda Booker.
00:00:51.520 --> 00:01:17.200
And if the life you're no longer in fits, or that you're in no longer fits, then this space is for you because through my coaching and my podcast and all the people that I meet, and it's just so many beautiful resources, I get to guide purpose-driven people to reconnect with who they really are and to let go of what they've outgrown to rediscover their gifts and create a life that feels aligned and that is deeply impactful.
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And if that sparks something within you, you can find me at lyndabooker.com.
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Today, once again, we're talking about how to be authentic and visible.
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And I have the pleasure of being joined by Elizabeth Honeycut of Illuminary Agency, and she's making her beautiful ripples in this world in her very unique way.
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Elizabeth works with people who have a mission and a message that in some form creates more peace and harmony on the planet.
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She helps them to be seen and to get their message out by creating a strategy that fits their resources, their time, their energy, and their mission.
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So, Elizabeth, hi, thank you so much for being on Conversations Worth Your While.
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Hi, thank you.
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That was a beautiful introduction.
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We worked on it.
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So I'd love if you would just share a little bit more beyond what I said with our audience about what you do and who you serve.
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Yeah, yeah.
00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:09.599
Okay.
00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:13.520
Well, I live up here in Vancouver, but I was born and raised in Texas.
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A little bit of a, you know, um rebellious um upbringing for myself.
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And so what I do, I've been in marketing and PR and communications for the past 10 plus years, and I've been gifted to know and to learn and to witness a lot of different ways that people can become more visible.
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And I have consistently found that the more authentic you are, the more likely that your visibility will return to you what you're asking for it to return to you.
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So obviously, I work with a bunch of like authors, founders, experts, people who have like a mission and a message, and they want to make the essentially most people just want to make the world a better place.
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And it's like, well, if you want to do that, you have to start from a place of authenticity.
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And your integrity is the expression of that authenticity, is the expression of uh your inner world, where your thoughts, and you're gonna hear this multiple times through the episode, where your thoughts align with your words and your words align with your actions.
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And when you have that coherence that creates inner coherence, when you have that, that ripples out.
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And I love that you call yourself a ripple maker, uh, that ripples out to the world and it brings back to you what you're actually wanting, what you're asking for.
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Beautiful.
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Thank you very sharing.
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Okay, so our topic today is about being visible online because you're it's gonna be, it's gonna happen anyway, and about doing it in an authentic way, about that alignment.
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So I think we should start by maybe I don't know if you have a quick story or something that um maybe you can share.
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Um, and then I can also share something about like the first thing someone probably is a listener might be thinking is like, I'd love to be authentic, yeah, but um I'm not sure.
00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:22.480
But what all this stuff I see online, I you know, like there's so many, there it's so there's so much what's coming to mind is that um that peanuts character, um, pig pen, you know, like all that, oh like right when we think of online, we think a lot about social media, and it's just like all this, all this yucky noise that we hear.
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So um I'm gonna let you just take it from here and we're just gonna conversate about wherever you bring us.
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Okay, cool.
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Well, thank you, Linda.
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Yeah, well, I'll just share with you uh my own personal experience with social media, okay?
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And so I grew up, I was the oldest of five girls.
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What a blessing, I'll tell you, because by the time I was eight, I learned a lot.
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That's why it was a blessing.
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Uh, by the time I was eight years old, I was changing diapers.
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I had a lot of responsibility.
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And I think a lot of people out there, especially women over the age of 50, can relate to this part of my story because um I was essentially like the second mother in the house, and the home wasn't always necessarily extremely safe.
00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:08.720
And so that develops certain mechanisms inside of me.
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And there's again, there's a name for that.
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It's called parentification.
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And a lot of people, I think a lot of women specifically can uh relate to this, and it does create a lot of adult things, you know, adult adult, what if there's a whole name for it, like adults of childhood trauma.
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Uh, there's a whole study and all that that you guys can look up and learn more about yourselves.
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Anyways, uh I learned how to keep the peace for everyone else except for me.
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And I learned how to do it before I even understood who I was.
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And so, how did that affect me as an adult once social media came online?
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Because I'm 37, and you know, Instagram, Facebook, that all came around in my teenage years.
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And social media these days, like for me for a period, was full of eldest daughter stuff, you know, and like uh eldest daughter and childhood trauma and how it affects you, blah, blah, blah, all that.
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And honestly, in the beginning, I felt really seen.
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I was like, wow, and that's the beauty.
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Isn't that the beauty of the internet?
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It's like we can learn more about ourselves about social media, we can find people who are like us, but I also noticed something else.
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And they were my wound was getting named, okay.
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And this happens a lot in social media, and I think this is really important to point out the my wound was getting named, and then it was being handed back to me as my identity.
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And I even unconscious, yes, identity work, shadow work.
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I was unconsciously taking this on.
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It's like, oh, I was the oldest daughter, I'm responsible, I can do anything.
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Uh, you know, I don't have to rest because I can, you know, I'm strong.
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But do you know where that led me?
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Otto, like that led me to a place of what you would call chronic fatigue.
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If you have ever heard of adrenal fatigue, and I know so many women over the age of 50 and 40 know exactly what I'm talking about here.
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And I remember also scrolling past um the soft life, the easy life, you know, um content.
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And I'm looking at these women, and you know, I admire them and they seem like really awesome, but I kept thinking it's like, oh, but the soft life is for people who had easy childhoods, whatever I deemed to be an easy childhood, you know.
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Somebody could have looked at my childhood and been like, sis, that was easy.
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So let's keep it all in perspective, right?
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But for me, I had this limiting belief because I took on this identity of like, oh, I'm the oldest, so I have to continue working hard.
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And that identity, it might have served me through childhood, but in adulthood was something I had to let go of.
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And so what I learned from all of that is that, you know, maybe like peace is not necessarily reserved.
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What I learned specifically from that was like peace doesn't have to be reserved for people who had what I might have called an easy childhood.
00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:05.360
Again, that's relative.
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And um, it's something that I can build, even if it has never been modeled to me, that I am the creator of my life, that I am the author, the architect of my life.
00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:23.120
And and I can talk more about how I've developed peace for myself.
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But but that was kind of the most important, the key thing with social media is it's very easy for people to identify with it and to create identity pieces.
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And that's where I really, really want us to look a little bit closer at ourselves.
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Yeah, that's that was like my ooh moment.
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I love the way you so concisely put it.
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Um so we're looking for validation for how we feel.
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And so we're drawn to things where we believe we have a challenge and I want to fix this challenge, and we're and then we're we're drawn to it.
00:08:54.799 --> 00:09:02.399
And and the validation is first thing, and validating our feelings is an important thing that all humans need.
00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:15.440
Um, however, I adore that you brought up the fact that once people do that, then they start to attach their identity to that and start to believe that if that's my identity, then this is what that means.
00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:18.559
This is this means I'm always going to be handicapped in this way.
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I'm always gonna have these powers.
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Like, so it it really puts you, it pigeonholes you, puts you into a space, and that's hard to get out of.
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And that's a that's a really important thing to bring up because we have a core identity and has nothing to do with our circumstances and our difficulties and our skill set.
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Our core identity is probably that part of us before the world got a hold of us and told us who we were supposed to be and what we were supposed to do.
00:09:49.120 --> 00:10:02.720
And instead, we attach our identity to our traumas, to our roles, to our responsibilities, to our paycheck, to our size of our office, to all these other things that have nothing to do with our identity.
00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:08.480
So I I adore that you brought this up because identity is so important, so important.
00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:16.879
Now, let's move on to like this fact that it we all gotta be online, right?
00:10:16.879 --> 00:10:21.600
Everyone, like you you want to apply for a job, you gotta put yourself online.
00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:25.759
You want to be found, you know, even by friends or colleagues or whatever.
00:10:25.759 --> 00:10:27.919
Put yourself on LinkedIn, put yourself online.
00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:31.360
So we're putting ourselves online all the time, whether we want to or not.
00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:37.039
Every form we fill out is online, even you know, like, you know, I'm good, I'm getting a massage.
00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:38.559
I had to fill out a form online.
00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:40.799
So everything's online.
00:10:40.799 --> 00:10:55.440
Um, and so you know, I think it it's a beautiful concept for people who haven't actually lived it, like you and I have, that uh being authentic would be so freeing, right?
00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:57.840
To like just be able to be authentic.
00:10:57.840 --> 00:11:01.679
But before it's freeing, the first thing it is is terrifying.
00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:02.879
That's the first thing.
00:11:02.879 --> 00:11:03.600
Like, what?
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:05.360
I have to show my true self.
00:11:05.360 --> 00:11:19.919
And the thing that I love to remind people of is generally when you're on social media and you're looking at all that stuff, you're comparing your insides to other people's outsides, what they want you to see, and that's inauthentic.
00:11:19.919 --> 00:11:26.080
And right, so so let's talk about that terrifying piece of being authentic.
00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:26.720
Yeah.
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:27.679
Oh my gosh.
00:11:27.679 --> 00:11:30.559
Beautiful, beautiful, love it, love you.
00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:37.840
Like you get people, and this is why your show is so important, because and this is like why I do what I do.
00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:46.399
It just expands my heart, and I just have to say that because you you understand like the multiple aspects of the human experience.
00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:50.240
And so this idea, like around okay, well, how do I be authentic?
00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.559
How do I create peace in my life?
00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:57.519
And so for me, it starts with silence and solitude, which sounds crazy.
00:11:57.519 --> 00:12:00.000
You know, it really started with what I would call prayer.
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:10.639
Some people um may identify with this or may not, but prayer, meditation, doing it alone in silence and solitude, all those things, or maybe not always silence.
00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:18.960
When I was 19, I went to this college called Dallas Christian College, because I was born and raised in Texas, loved it, had so much fun.
00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:21.120
And they taught us obviously about prayer.
00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:26.000
And they taught us also that prayer doesn't always necessarily have to mean that we're talking.
00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:37.440
Sometimes it's just you sitting in silence with God or whoever, you know, you're the highest version of yourself or your guides, uh, whatever resonates best for you.
00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:43.519
And looking back at that time, that was when I really started to develop my meditation practice.
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:58.080
And for me, I think I personally could, I was hearing that inner voice uh since I was very small, but when I became aware of it whenever I became still, whenever I became silent in that prayer and that meditation space.
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:00.559
And that was how I learned how to listen.
00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:03.519
And so I've I've continued coming back to this.
00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:09.440
And and actually, I believe last time you and I met and we talked about this, you called that our energy PS.
00:13:09.440 --> 00:13:10.399
And I loved that.
00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:15.120
That phrase has stuck with me for the past several months.
00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:24.159
Um, and so I can I can share a little story about how that practice affected, or you know, how I've used that later in life.
00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:27.200
Yes, I will let you do that for sure in one minute.
00:13:27.200 --> 00:13:33.840
Um, so uh first of all, I love to, I always love to like point out the the nuggets, the beautiful nuggets.
00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:38.879
One of the beautiful nuggets is prayer looks like many different things.
00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:46.320
It doesn't have to be talking and asking at all, which is what I think a lot of people mistake it for.
00:13:46.320 --> 00:14:16.960
Being in silence and in stillness and listening and hearing and feeling into the who of you and the higher part of you is, I would say, probably more effective than asking for things and giving up your own power of the fact that you energetically attract what you are in alignment with.
00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:37.440
Your highest self um knows what's right for you, knows the way.
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:39.440
And it's not the how.
00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:40.559
It doesn't know the how.
00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:43.200
I mean, your skill set, that's the how, right?
00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:50.240
But the the the what is the thing, like we like we talk about you work with people who have a mission, right?
00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:52.159
How do people find their mission?
00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:56.320
They listen, you discover your mission, you don't determine your mission.
00:14:56.320 --> 00:15:09.600
It's all about you follow your inner GPS, you get in that stillness, you get in that silence, you discover based on who you are and connecting with that higher part of you, you discover what your mission is.
00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:16.720
And and I know for the work you do with people that that's you know, they're like they found that, right?
00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:19.600
And how you found yours is through the stillness.
00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:21.840
So definitely share the story with us.
00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:23.200
Okay, thank you.
00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:31.519
And yeah, and thanks for pointing out the snuggets and adding that, you know, how prayer it looks different, or meditation, you know, it's like it varies.
00:15:31.519 --> 00:15:36.080
And so I really appreciate you uh pointing that out because I really agree.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:43.279
But for me, so I think this is a fun story, and I think it has a lot to do with meditation and prayer and listening to that inner voice.
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:56.000
And I guarantee all this relates back to authenticity is being able first, before you can be authentic, you got to hear inside your most authentic version of you, like outside of the noise of all the voices.
00:15:56.000 --> 00:16:01.440
And I just love how you mentioned earlier, like how you know, people identifying with their trauma.
00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:04.960
And I've totally have done that for so I did that for a long time.
00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:07.519
And so when I was, how old was I?
00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:14.080
I was in my late 20s, I don't even remember, and or the exact age, but it was my first move out of the country.
00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:19.679
I had visited Mexico, but I hadn't really adventured or explored, and I was like, you know what?
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:20.879
I'm just gonna move to Spain.
00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:24.320
I've never been to Spain, um, but I'm gonna move there.
00:16:24.320 --> 00:16:29.759
So I packed up my bags and I got on a plane and I landed in Spain, you know.
00:16:29.759 --> 00:16:33.919
It was an international airport in a totally different country.
00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:37.919
It was the first time I had been in a totally different country in an airport.
00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:40.000
It was chaotic and fun.
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.879
Um, and everybody is this was in Madrid, Spain.
00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:45.440
So everybody's speaking Spaniard Spanish.
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:51.120
So if you know Spaniard Spanish, you know it's fast and like articulate.
00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:53.279
And I love, I love Spain.
00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:55.759
Shout out to all my Spanish friends out there.
00:16:55.759 --> 00:17:08.559
Um and I get off the plane and I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't have, I didn't think to get actual Euros, like cash Euros, you know, to like get me to my hotel room kind of deal.
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:19.599
And so so anyway, so when you get off the plane, there's like a shuttle bus, and this shuttle bus, it costs five euros and it's gonna take me to the place that I need to go, essentially.
00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:21.200
I figured that out.
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:26.240
And I'm like, oh heavens, good gracious heavens, I don't have any Euros.
00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:27.680
What am I gonna do?
00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:33.200
And so I'm like silently talking to God in my head, and I'm just breathing through it.
00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:41.200
I go get myself a coffee and the coffee, the coffee cup that the coffee came in, I go to throw it away at this trash can.
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:42.720
And what do you know?
00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:49.279
Right then and there, an absolute miracle on the ground, right next to the trash can is a five-dollar euro.
00:17:49.279 --> 00:17:52.559
Right, that's fantastic.
00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:53.680
I love that.
00:17:53.680 --> 00:18:03.359
And so I just say that to say that it's like um that's like a miraculous moment of listening to my inner wisdom or my inner voice.
00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:11.359
But there are, you can call it a miracle or a luck, whatever, but uncertainty doesn't necessarily mean that we're unsupported.
00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:18.480
And for me, that support comes from that inner world, that inner knowing, that inner voice, that higher power.
00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:23.599
And and that's also where my source of peace comes from as well.
00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:29.839
And peace doesn't necessarily mean we know exactly how everything's gonna work out or we have the exact perfect thing to say.
00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:38.720
You know, it's just trusting that what emanates from us is going to be like the best authentic version of us at that time.
00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:41.519
That was my yeah, yeah, for sure.
00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:42.400
Ah, beautiful.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:43.279
Thank you for sharing that.
00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:53.920
I love these little, you know, synchronicities and in miracles that we have, we each have the ability to bring to us.
00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:56.319
Um, so that's that's beautiful.
00:18:56.319 --> 00:19:04.720
I want to talk next about the terror of being seen, the vulnerability uh of being seen.
00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:10.240
Um, I think that's probably the biggest obstacle that people have of showing their true selves.
00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:29.200
Um one of the one of the things that that um one of the journeys that I have I I undertook uh a long time ago was to just was when I first realized that I was identifying as a victim, even though that I was never a down person.
00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:36.960
I, you know, I always felt like, oh, yeah, everything's good and look what I can do, you know, and I was positive and doing a lot of beautiful things.
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:46.480
But I recognized I had been telling this the way I saw my history was from a victim's perspective, not a hero's perspective.
00:19:46.480 --> 00:20:12.480
And so the last thing I wanted to do when I to be authentic was to show that I was a victim because that felt yucky because I had spent time and intention to move through that mindset into a hero's mindset to recognize the truth of why I went through all that and what I actually did and how I'm actually a hero and not a victim, right?
00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:22.880
So I looked through all those life experiences and saw them totally different, which changed exactly that identification from victim to hero, right?
00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:23.839
Or victor.
00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:31.920
Um and so one of the fears to be authentic is like, what if that pulls me back into victimhood, right?
00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:48.319
So that would be someone for someone like me who's really spent time getting like an intention getting out of it, to be like, I don't want to be dragged back, especially since you and I already talked about when you recognize something that someone can name your pain, now you're identifying with it and you be that becomes your identity.
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:50.160
So that would that would be a fear.
00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:52.640
Another fear is that it's just unsafe.
00:20:52.640 --> 00:21:05.839
It's unsafe for for people to really see me because then they'll know that I don't have all my shit together, that I'm not as smart as I pretend I am, that I'm not all that I'm not good enough shit comes out.
00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:06.319
Right.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:11.119
So that that get that whole persona of I got it together gets threatened.
00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:20.000
And that underlying unfortunate belief that most people have of their that is attached to their perception of worthiness is I'm not good enough.
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:22.160
I can't dare put that out there.
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:23.759
Everyone will see.
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:27.119
So that's a those are big fears.
00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:38.079
Those are a couple big fears, and just the way they might show up, they show up in a lot of different ways, but that's just a few examples of how a listener might be like, oh my gosh, what um I can't show my true self, right?
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:39.279
Well, good.
00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:40.880
Now we're getting into the weeds of it.
00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:41.759
We're getting deep with it.
00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:42.720
Exactly.
00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:44.400
And you know what I have to say to that?
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.559
Good, because you don't know what you're doing.
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:49.440
I don't really, like, I really don't know what I'm doing.
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.880
Like, honestly, like we, I don't have it all together.
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:57.119
And like none of us actually have it all together.
00:21:57.119 --> 00:21:58.000
Good.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:59.759
Let those parts of you be shown.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:02.799
And yes, you might have fear come up.
00:22:02.799 --> 00:22:09.039
Yes, it might be hard, but good, because that's your shadow work right there.
00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:10.640
So, and you know what?
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:18.960
And I think that it's a that, it's like it's almost a spiritual journey allowing yourself to be seen, even in our messiness.
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:25.359
But it's the most liberating experience that a person, I believe, could ever have.
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:32.480
Because then those parts of you that you felt were unacceptable, those are the parts of you that you don't want to be seen.
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:36.319
And believe me, I can resonate.
00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:38.799
I can resonate.
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:48.000
But those parts of me that I carried where I had shame, where I had guilt, where I tried to hide those things, I was just keeping those things locked away inside of me and nothing was happening with them.
00:22:48.000 --> 00:23:02.880
But then whenever I was so brave as to open up and to allow someone else to see that messiness, and then I got accepted, then I received connection, then people were like, oh my gosh, Elizabeth, wow, I can really relate to you.
00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:09.119
Then the people who people's expectations of me were in alignment with what I could actually give.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:12.960
I wasn't underpromising and feeling like I wasn't being valued properly.
00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:16.000
I wasn't over-promising and then not showing up for people.
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:19.359
I was I was promising what I actually am.
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:24.480
And how crazy is it that that right there is monumental?
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:25.680
It really is.
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:31.759
And it's the the point is if you're showing people the not true you, then they don't even like you.
00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:33.839
They just like the version you're showing.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:36.160
They're accepting the version you're showing.
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:41.039
And so then when you start doing that, then it feels very scary to show yourself.
00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:51.119
But when you show who you truly are, then you can know for certain that you're good enough because they accept and love you.
00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:52.799
And so do you accept and love you.
00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:57.839
That's the work to be done in all your messiness, in all those faults.
00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:04.480
And when you recognize that, then the one thing that almost dissipates all by itself is shame.
00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:09.119
And shame is the most destructive of all the emotions.
00:24:09.119 --> 00:24:20.720
And when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, to be seen, to be honest with yourself and honest with others, then and then you recognize that they're accepting you.
00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:26.880
And of course, your own work, like I said, is you accepting you, then that shame just like it just goes.
00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:29.519
There's it, it doesn't, it doesn't belong.
00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:33.359
It's only there trying to keep a secret that you don't need to keep.
00:24:34.319 --> 00:24:34.640
Yeah.
00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:36.880
I love how you say that shame is destructive.
00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:38.079
That's so interesting to me.
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:40.880
Yeah, the most destructive of all the emotions we can have.
00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:43.440
It's just, it's just awful eats away.
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:44.400
So yeah.
00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:44.960
Okay.
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:46.480
Um all right.
00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:49.440
This has been such an incredible conversation.
00:24:49.440 --> 00:25:01.279
Um, so I like to always finish with a turtle step, something someone can do right now before they, before listener, before you hit play on the next podcast episode, something you'll actually do.
00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:11.759
Because, you know, the purpose of this podcast is to help you to do the thing you're here to do, to help you to discover it, to help you to own it, and to to help you to do it.
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:19.279
So, um, um, Elizabeth, what's a little turtle step, something really small that someone will actually do that you can offer for us today?
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:20.480
Oh, I love that.
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:22.480
I love, I love that, I love that, I love that.
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:23.519
I'll tell you what.
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:25.839
I think most of us have a dream.
00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:32.480
A lot of people have a dream that got delayed, and most often for like very real life reasons.
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:34.240
And, you know, whatever it might be.
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:39.680
Oh, I moved 12 times and then my relationship ended, and then this happened, you know, baby daddy did that.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.680
I don't know, whatever it might be.
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:50.400
But I want you to uh people who listen to this podcast, I want them to think of today, this podcast, let it be that coming back moment.
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:52.400
Let it like the it stops.
00:25:52.400 --> 00:26:01.839
All right, we're coming back to the heart, coming back to that dream that might have been forgotten or might have gotten a little bit delayed, even if it was just a few days or several years.
00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:02.559
I don't care.
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:05.839
We're coming back to our center, coming back to our dream.
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:13.200
So I want you to grab a sticky note or a piece of paper and a piece of tape, I don't care what it is, and I want you to finish this sentence.
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:19.839
I'm coming back to whatever it is, and it's safe for me to have it.
00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:25.279
I'm coming back to insert your dream, and it's safe for me to have it.
00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:26.799
This is an affirmation.
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:34.079
And maybe it's you're coming back to your business, I'm coming back to my health, I'm coming back to my love, my, I don't know what it could be.
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:42.079
Write it down, put it in your bathroom, put it by your bedroom door, by your front door so you see it frequently, and just say it out loud once a day.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:43.039
Say it out loud.
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:52.000
And what that right there is identity shadow work, and it's telling you it's safe for you to have your dreams and it's safe for you to be authentic.
00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:52.640
Awesome.
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:53.920
I love that.
00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:57.279
What a beautiful step! Oh my gosh, beautiful turtle step.
00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:59.759
Thank you, Elizabeth, for for sharing that.
00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:08.160
Um, that's that's incredible because we started this conversation talking about identity, we're finishing with identity shadow work.
00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:16.960
Um, and I love that you brought the safety in because that's the biggest yeah, but to being authentic uh uh and being allow yourself to be seen in who you truly are.
00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:18.720
So I want to say thank you so much.
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:20.880
This has been such a lovely conversation.
00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:30.240
Um, if someone wants to get a hold of you, um, if they're ready to get their message out into the world, like, oh scary, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'd like to do it.
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:31.839
Um, what can they do?
00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:38.160
Well, my website's in your show notes uh and also my email address, my LinkedIn, my Instagram, find me there.
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:42.240
Uh you can book a free consultation, a free like little getting to know you session.
00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:48.480
Um, it's also how my one-on-one mentorship works, and uh people can schedule that visibility strategy sessions for me.
00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:54.480
But the thing I'm most excited about is I will be launching a course called How to Book Yourself on Podcasts.
00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:58.240
And you can sign up for that after November 1st on my website.
00:27:58.240 --> 00:28:01.440
And then I always have free networking events available each month.
00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:02.559
So that's everything.
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:03.279
Perfect.
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:04.079
Um, definitely.
00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:05.839
Everything will be in the show notes.
00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:07.680
Okay, that is our show.
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:15.359
I am Linda Booker, guiding people to know their worth, to reconnect with their gifts and create lives that are fully aligned and deeply impactful.
00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:18.799
In short, to do the thing you're here to do.
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:33.440
So if you are sensing it's time, you can explore what that looks like at lindabooker.com where you'll find direction and clarity, a lot of cool tools and a link so you can book a complimentary clarity chat with me.
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If today's episode sparked something for you, please like it, please share it, and subscribe because you don't want to miss what happens next week, which will be another uplifting conversation designed to support your growth.
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So until next time, make sure you've made this conversation worth your while by feeling the spark that it ignited.
