Satisfyable AF

Welcome to Conversations with Thomas. I'm your host, Thomas Kevin Dolan. Pronouns he and him. I'm blessed to record this podcast from the island of Oahu, the ancestral home of the Kanakamali, the indigenous people of this island. I honor and acknowledge the original stewards of this land, their wisdom, their resilience, and aloha still pulse through every wave, breeze, and sunset. And true to my intention of talking about what no one else is talking about on podcasts, today I'm diving into a skill so underrated it should almost be illegal. Being satisfiable. Hell, satisfiable as [ __ ] The secret to actually enjoying your life before the next upgrade shows up. Now, I think I know what you might be thinking. Satisfiable? Is that even a word? Well, the English or the Oxford English Dictionary, please aren't banging at my door right now, but hang tight because this idea is as old as the Stoics, the Buddha, and probably a grandmother saying, "You've had enough pie, dear." Being satisfiable means having the ability to feel genuine contentment without endlessly chasing more. more stuff, more titles, those damn likes on Facebook and Instagram, more shows to binge. I mean, at this point, Netflix need it. It It needs to ask me what I want to watch. I've given them enough of my life. At its heart, this isn't about giving up ambition or growth. It's about knowing when you stop striving. It's about knowing when to stop striving and start savoring. Let me define satisfiable. It's gratitude for what's already present. It's contentment with the imperfect and incomplete. It's this idea of boundaries on desire so ambition doesn't become relentless. It's presence in the moment. It's presence in the moment instead of living in what's next. Think of it like this. Being satisfiable is being able to say this is enough and I [ __ ] mean it. If you've ever had a bag of chips, you know that enough is a really dangerous word. I'll just have a handful is a lie I've told myself many times. But satisfaction clearly is not about the chips. It's about the mindset or heartsight that says, "I don't need more to be whole right now. I don't need more to be whole right now." So where does this come from? The Stoics said, "Happiness comes from wanting less, not piling up more." Buddhism teaches that craving is the root of suffering. And Aristotle to take us way back talked about udeimmonia. It's this notion of living well. Udimmonia living well by practicing virtue not chasing pleasures. So let's fast forward to now to today and science has caught up with philosophy. Psychologists talk about the the hedonic treadmill. It's this idea that it doesn't matter how much we get, we adapt and then of course we want more. It's why the thrill of that new phone or promotion fades so fast. So the skill we really need isn't chasing better upgrades. It's learning to step off the hydonic treadmill and feel enough right where we are. So let's get nerdy for a minute. I love this hydonic adaptation. If you've won the lottery, chances are 6 months later, you're just as happy or unhappy as you were before. The same thing happens with buying new stuff or hitting a milestone. My point is our brains, right? Our brains adapt. Dopamine versus serotonin. Dopamine is the chemical of wanting, anticipation, craving, striving. Serotonin, bless it, is the chemical of satisfaction, calm, contentment, balance. A satisfiable life balances the two. Dopamine and serotonin. Neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity. There we go. Gratitude practices literally rewire your brain. Each time you notice good and hold it in your awareness, you actually strengthen the neural pathways of contentment. and something called awe. Awe awe studies research that shows research shows that moments of awe are like watching a sunset. I love when I stand in front of the ocean at Wanelloo or listening for that matter to a Lady Gaga live concert. They expand these moments of awe expand our sense of time and and actually decreases our craving for more. So I think what science is basically saying is this. If you want a life that's satisfiable, if you want to be satisfiable, pay attention, pause, and savor. But I I don't I don't just want you to hear this from me. Some of the deepest wisdom about satisfaction comes from black transfac transformational women writers that have actually changed my perspective on life. Tony Morrison, of course, writes, "At some point in my life, the world's beauty becomes enough. You don't need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. It is enough." Isn't that stunning? The world itself enough. Bel Hooks. Bel Hook said, "This living simply makes loving simple." And that's what I want. Isn't that what you want? to have enough space in our lives for love. My Angelo of course reminded us we need much less than we think we need. It's a truth that Maya echoed right a truth that should probably be written above the entrance to every frigin Costco. Audrey Lord, of course I couldn't leave this bright light out offered this. Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat. Contentment isn't perfection. It's living satisfiably in your own messy, beautiful contradictions. And I love that part of me. I at times make these declarations and then I realize I'm the walking contradiction because at the next point in time when I breathe into being satisfied or living satisfiably, that thing that I said I was about or wasn't about is not true anymore. It's actually really quite lovely. My husband hears me all the time. I'm a walking contradiction. and Audrey Lord, myangelo, Bill Hooks, and Tony Morrison. These women point us towards a satisfiable life that's actually about depth. It's about presence and wholeness, not about accumulation. Being satisfiable doesn't mean you become a monk or that ambition evaporates. It just means you stop needing six streaming services. You can be happy with one as long as it has RuPaul's Drag Race. So maybe it's realizing that the jeans that fit comfortably without a wrestling match are perhaps already enough. That's a little slice of enlightenment. Here are I kind of chose five ways to build satisfiable into the heartset and mindset of your life. Let's go with number one. This notion of daily three gratitudes. Write down three specific things you're grateful for. Train your brain to notice enough. Number two, I call it the pause practice. Before buying or chasing something new, ask, "Do I need this or do I just want to feel different?" Number three, savoring ritual. Pick one daily activity, morning coffee, morning tea, morning smoothie, evening walk, evening conversation with your beloved and fully immerse yourself for two minutes. And then let it be enough. Number four, the enough list. Write down five areas where you already have enough. Uh friendships, uh laughter, uh books, time, time outdoors, keep it visible. This enough list. And don't have a don't don't don't ever need to add add more to it. It's enough. And finally, number five, I call it a comparison detox. Take a week off from one platform, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok, whatever it happens to be that activates comparison
. And notice how your satisfaction shifts. These aren't about lowering your standards. They're about strengthening your capacity to feel whole without needing more. Let me take a break here and toss in a promo about my coaching work. You may be thinking, Thomas, I love the idea of being satisfiable, but my mind seems to have a PhD in wanting more. Well, that's exactly what I help people with in coaching. As a heart-c centered coach, I work with folks who are ready to trade the endless pursuit of someday for the grounded joy of right now. Isn't that cool? The grounded joy of right now. Together, we explore how to shift from striving to savoring. from constantly upgrading life to actually inhabiting it. So, here's my invitation. Book a free discovery call with me at thomaskeulan.com. No pressure, no gimmicks, just a conversation to see if coaching might help you find enoughness that sticks. Because sometimes the smartest move isn't chasing more. It's choosing to be satisfiable with what you already have. Now, back to the podcast. Let me close with with this takeaway. Being satisfiable doesn't shrink your life. It expands your ability to see it is already whole. I love that. Being satisfiable doesn't shrink your life. It expands your ability to see it's already whole. It's about gratitude, presence, and joy right now, not later, not after the next achievement. And as Tony Morrison said, the world's beauty really can be enough. And and when and when you live this way, when I live this way, magic happens, ambition becomes healthier, relationships deepen, and even the simplest days feel rich. So my invitation to you is this. Practice being satisfiable. Let enough be enough. Let yourself breathe. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find that the life you're in right now is the one you've been chasing all along. Wouldn't that be satisfiable as [ __ ] If this episode stirred something in you, it sure as heck stirred something in me. I invite you to reach out to me or share with someone who could use a lift. Executive production, the wizardry of editing, and the king of making all things hum is my brilliant husband, Adam Mo. It's a joy knowing you joined me today. Thank you. Until next time, may your heart be satisfiable and your life be full of enough.