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David Shaft: You spent your entire life saying, why me?
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Why should it be me?
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You spent the entire life proving it.
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Now, believe it.
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Welcome everyone to Conversations That Count.
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Now, I know normally we have someone
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who either I'm interviewing
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or I'm going over an interview that I did with them.
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Well, today, what we're going to do instead is steal
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a concept from one of the greatest artists
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to ever make music, Little Dirk.
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By that, I mean we're going to follow something he said
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and it was treating the mic like therapy
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because I talked to it.
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And that's what I'm going to do with everyone here.
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And that's what you're going to do with me.
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We're going to have a therapy session together
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and we're probably going to do this for a little while
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and we're just going to go over different concepts,
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different things that really sparked something in me
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that I wanted to share with all of you.
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The first one today is going to be a concept
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of why me versus why not me.
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So I bring this to you because I had a mentor
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who I was talking to them about like the two halves of me
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that feel like they're always fighting.
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And that is why me, right?
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The part of me that needs to prove why I should be here.
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Why should I get a seat at the table?
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And that's the part that's like,
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oh, I always have to be winning.
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I have to show the world why they should recognize me.
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I have to be number one.
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I have to make the most money.
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I have to be the best looking, right?
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The why me, why it should be me.
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But then there's the other part of me.
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And that's the why not me, right?
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This is when you think of like when someone says delusional
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or when you meet those people who like have delusional
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beliefs of like, yeah, you know,
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I'm gonna, it's gonna be me who does it
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just because I said so.
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Nothing else.
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They have no proof, no evidence, nothing.
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I wanna tap into this person.
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So bad, the one that has nothing to prove,
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but believes that they should have everything.
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The just delusional confidence versus the confidence built
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on shaky ground because it always has to be backed
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by some type of evidence.
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And I just kept like I kept talking to them about like,
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how do I become this and stop being so much of this?
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And they sat there for a brief second,
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didn't say anything.
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And they said why when they finally did speak
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and they said, why does it have to be one or the other?
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I didn't have an answer.
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I don't know.
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Why does it have to be one or the other?
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It turns out it doesn't have to be one or the other.
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Turns out it's something in the middle, right?
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So, and it took me a minute to understand it.
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And I was, after they froze for a second,
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gave me that response.
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I froze for what felt like hours
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because I didn't know what to say back.
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And it turns out that the why me, right?
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The part of us that is like, man,
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I have to show why I should be recognized.
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I'm, you know, I've done these things.
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I have these accomplishments.
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If you can meet that why me with the why not me,
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that delusional part that just says, you know,
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what you deserve to be there regardless.
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It turns out that all those things you did
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while feeding the why me, feeding that ego,
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feeding that shaky ground,
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it should feed the why not me.
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It should feed the delusion.
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And is it really delusional?
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If, when we really think back at all the accomplishments
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we've had, all the things we've done,
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all the people we've met, places we've been,
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things we've seen, is anything really delusional?
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Is any bit of it?
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No.
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I mean, there are people who have accomplished way less
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and gotten way more.
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But it doesn't change that all the why me's
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that made you earn the first place
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in your four by one in high school,
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or maybe it's what made you move on
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and get your own place at 18 or 16,
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or maybe it's why you got that huge promotion at work
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that you fought for,
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or maybe you haven't gotten the promotion yet,
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but it's everything you've done in the meantime,
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where you should be delusional enough
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to believe that you deserve the promotion.
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All of that should meet in the middle,
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and it should feed the why not me.
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And once I really understood that it's all those things I did
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that actually make the why not me
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not even delusional anymore,
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it just makes it what I should believe is possible.
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And in fact, to believe anything less
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than great things are possible
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is an insult to all the times I said why me
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and prove why it should be me,
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to believe that it couldn't be me,
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or to believe that even thinking more is possible,
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that's a negative delusion that does nothing to power me,
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does nothing to better me.
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Once I understood that,
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I understood that it was supposed to be somewhere
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in the middle all along.
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It was never supposed to be me,
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never supposed to be why me versus why not me.
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I can't make that any clear, right?
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It's like I put this versus here,
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and that was the problem.
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I was fighting myself the entire time
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when it was never supposed to be a versus match,
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it was always supposed to be right in the middle.
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I was supposed to have why me meet why not me.
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And all the things that I've won and did and accomplished,
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they're the exact same reason why it's not delusional
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to believe that I can do more, or be more,
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or get more, have more and accomplish more.
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The only difference is,
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you're doing more, having more,
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being more and accomplishing more,
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it can't just be to feed my ego
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and to then always have me saying why me.
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It's like those things are the things
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that should make me delusional, even more delusional, right?
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But they're the things that should make me believe
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I can do even greater things.
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So every time you think about all the things you've done
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in your life, all the places you've been remember,
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those are all the reasons that it should be why not me.
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Steve Harvey has this thing, and I love it.
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He says, you have 100% survival rate
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for every single thing you've been through.
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100%, no matter how crazy things you've been in your life,
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you're still here in a life to tell about them.
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So just because of that sheer fact,
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you've survived 100% of the challenges that have arisen
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is enough to be delusional and believe
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that you can do and be more, whatever that is.
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And be more doesn't mean, again,
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it means you'd have to have more accolades, more awards,
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it just means that you can have more
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whatever it is that you want.
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You just have to believe why not me
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because you spent your entire life saying, why me?
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Why should it be me?
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You spent the entire life proving it.
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Now believe it.
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So it was never why not me versus why me.
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It was always just most importantly,
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it was always just you.
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So thank you all for listening
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to another Conversations That Counts episode.
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I'm gonna work on continuing to give you
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these quick fights, these quick realizations.
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And thank you all for tuning in.
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I hope you had therapy today, like I had therapy today.
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Let's go out there, let's continue winning,
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have fun, don't forget, leave a like, share, subscribe,
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whatever platform you're listening or watching on
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because we're on all of them.
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We're on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, the whole nine yards.
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So remember though, if you and us
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cause now we're in this together, see you all later.
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Thank you everyone for watching another episode
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of Conversations That Count.
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Sometimes what we find is YouTube will unsubscribe us
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from our favorite channels, as well as when we finish
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an episode, we'll have enjoyed it so much.
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We'll forget to hit the subscribe button
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because we'll be so caught up with it.
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My ask is so that we can keep the channel free
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so that I can continue bringing you amazing guests,
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continue bringing you amazing practices
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that improve all of our skills
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as we go into every day and every week.
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If you can hit that subscribe button,
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if you can like, share, it goes a very long way
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to again, keeping the channel free,
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allowing us to continue providing you amazing content.
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And my promise is I will only continue
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to improve the content, improve the guests
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and improve the best practices every single time.
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I will make sure every week and every month
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that it only gets better for you.
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So again, thank you all for tuning in.
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Thank you for watching.
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And I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
