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Welcome to Embracing Continuous Behaviour Change for Anger Management, the podcast that
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helps you to calm your emotions and communicate effectively.
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And I'm your host Care Bradley, the Anger Management Coach.
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In this podcast I'll bring you expert interviews, inspiring stories and practical advice on
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calming your emotions and living a more peaceful and fulfilling life. So sit back, relax and
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get ready to master your emotions.
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So good evening listeners, I'mClare Bradley, your host. Thank you so much for tuning in.
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I have, as you would expect by now, another amazing guest for you all to listen to today.
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Tonight we have Michelle Steiner who is joining us. Hi Michelle, how are you?
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Great Claire, how are you doing today? I'm really well thank you, it's been a long week,
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it's been a very good week but long and I'm tired now. But yeah, so whereabouts in the world are
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you situated? I live in the United States, I live in Pennsylvania. Oh lovely, very nice.
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And it's three o'clock there where you are, it's eight o'clock. So Michelle I put out,
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I think I put out a request on Facebook asking for people to come forward who could talk about
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their, how they've overcome things going on in their life and I think you reached out to me
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and said I'd actually like to speak about my journey. So would you, I don't know if you even
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you can remember what you said to me in that response. Can you remember what you said?
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I can probably give a general idea. I talked about my life, I have a learning disability
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and I was diagnosed whenever I was in kindergarten and a lot of people told me
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from the very beginning that I was not going to be able to do very much. I was told that I was
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not, I was never going to be able to go to college, I was told, I mean that was as a teenager. But
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even when I was a young child a lot of people didn't know what I could do with my life and I also
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had other people that would tell me, a psychiatrist told me I wasn't going to go beyond community
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college and I had professors when I dig at the college that were telling me, oh you're going
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to have limited job choices or you're not a good writer and just a lot of things and discouraged
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me from really doing a lot of things like that. And I even had people whenever I was at college
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that my peers, they thought using disability services was cheating. So I had a lot of people in my life
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that didn't think I could do a lot of things but I was able to do a lot with that.
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And how did that feel at such a young age as you say as a teenager to hear people being so negative
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about you and about what you could do? And as you said, that could have very much limited
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and it hasn't thankfully, that could have very much limited what you did and went on to go and do.
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So how did it feel? It was really discouraging for me. I was already afraid. I had to repeat
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kindergarten in the very beginning of school and that was a fear that I had that I carried through
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all my years. And then eventually with doing all the support services at school with having classes
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and eventually being in more regular ed classes and having the supports, I was doing really well
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but I was afraid. That was really negative. I thought for so many years if I could just get rid
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of this disability, my life would be perfect and I can move on. And I felt really discouraged
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every time that someone would say something but also whenever I would try to do something or put
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forth effort and that I didn't succeed, I was really discouraged and I was a very negative
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person for a lot of years. Yeah, I was. I wasn't a very happy person and I worried a lot and I
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had to do a lot of things scared doing that and it just made me not want to get help for a lot of
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things when I was in college. I didn't want to go and get the accommodations because I didn't want
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to be boxing to a category or I didn't want to be known to someone. Oh, she's cheating on things.
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And I had a very poor view of myself for a number of years. So that really was something that made
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me just very fearful and just not a very happy person. What a shame. And could you share the
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moment what that felt like when you realized that you were now about to prove everybody wrong?
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And you were going to go out and you were going to achieve those goals because that must have been
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such a huge impactful time for you. It really was. And also in the very beginning, it still was
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kind of a low point for me because I was able to move out on my own. I worked some temp jobs that
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I wanted something better for myself and I liked my independence but due to financial reasons,
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I had to move back in with my parents and that just kind of added on to a lot of
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just things that were happening. But I thought, okay, this is the time to go back to school.
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And I did a lot of research. I found a program that had the least amount of math and science
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possible and it had disability accommodations and I thought I just have to give it a try. That was
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my headspace. I just have to give this a try. And whatever was really bad or if I was really
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struggling in a class or just not having a great day, I would go pass where they would have
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graduations at. And I would just give this visualization of this warm sunny day and walking
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across the stage and getting my bachelor's degree. And sure enough, that did happen for me.
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And it was a beautiful sunny day when that happened and I got that degree. And it was one of the most
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healing things that I ever did. And I was so happy and so proud when I got that. But I did this.
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I couldn't have done it without the support of family, friends, and of course the support
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services were on campus. And after that, I graduated, that just changed my whole outlook on things.
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I wasn't sad. My disability didn't go away. I still cannot do math to save my life now. I still
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can't drive. I still have a lot of struggles with having a disability. But I find that whenever
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I do things that I can do, I feel so much more empowered than when I focus on what I can't do.
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And that has really been part of that key as success for me. And getting the bachelor's
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degree was just the start of a lot of those things. And I know that's not the thing for everybody.
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And for the hazard learning disability, maybe that's not something that'll help somebody or maybe it's
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just not something they want to pursue. But for me, that's what I needed to do. And my life really
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changed a lot after that point.
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It's as though you pushed the boundaries of those disabilities, wasn't it? And it was like,
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okay, I'm just going to push it a little bit. Oh, it's moving. Oh, I'll push it a little bit more.
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Oh, it's still moving. And as you say, disabilities affect people in their own way. Everybody's
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disability is completely differently. So what some people may be able to do, others may not be able
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to do, but you've absolutely proved the point of don't just sit there and listen to what you're
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told, that negativity. It's about standing up or not necessarily standing up per se, but just saying,
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I am going to actually try and prove you wrong and how fantastic that was for you.
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So were there any particular challenges or self doubts that you struggled with when pursuing
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your education or your career? And how did you push through those moments?
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Yes, there was definitely a challenge. Just anything math related was a challenge for me.
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And I knew math was going to be that. Yeah, it was definitely going to be that point that was
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going to be difficulty and anything science related. And what I did was when I was in those
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classes, I made sure that I went to tutoring, I talked with my professors, I let them know what
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was going on. And I did not do well in them. I in one class, I was able to get a waiver when I
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was at community college because I have the documentation of a disability. And I also had
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that I was going to class every day, I was going to tutoring and it still just was working out
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and everything matched up according to with the disability. When I got to university,
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I didn't have the option of a waiver. Instead, what I had to do was I had to,
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I got a really great professor that was a philosophy based class. And he saw that I was
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trying every day. And I was going to tutoring and it was so discouraging going in there and not
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not passing the test, but I used all the disability accommodations and I passed the
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class with the D and that's all I needed. Fantastic. But that was doing a lot of research too.
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So now at my job, I have to let people know I cannot do math. That is something that I'm not
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able to do. And sometimes I do encounter situations where they might put me in a class
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where they're doing that. And I just have to be honest, if a kid asks me for help,
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I'm like, I'm really sorry I can't help you. Okay, the teacher's over there, go ask her.
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So sometimes that can be an issue. Driving can also be an issue as well.
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I'm not very coordinated. And we knew this when I was a very young child because I would flinch
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every time a ball would come at me and I could trip over air. And we knew driving was going
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to be an issue because it's not just as simple as, okay, you don't play sports. But my parents,
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so what my parents had me do was we waited a year before we even attempted to try to do anything
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towards driving. And I lived down in the country and there was this huge field and my mom, dad said,
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okay, why don't you go try to move the field? And instead of making these beautiful long lines
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along this field, I ended up making crop circles. So I always joke around that I have solved the
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mystery of where crop circles come from. It was me all along. Yeah, it was me all along.
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And my parents had me evaluated. And they I passed every single test except for the visual
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perception. They said it wasn't safe to get my license. But I just took that head on like
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everything else. I thought, okay, I'll take the bus, I'll walk, I have a great support system
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with a husband that takes me to work and a great co worker that is able to take me home at the end
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of the day, and I able to walk to where I need to go to. So living in a central location has been
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important. My hand dexterity, they didn't find that out until I was an adult. But once the light
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bulb went off, once we figured that out, because, oh, that's why things drop out of my hands. That's
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why my handwriting is so poor. That's why just sometimes I can't open things up very much. And
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that is just one of those things too that I may not be able to do. But we just find ways around
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things that might be difficult. It's not that I can't do something. It's just I might need to do a
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different way to be able to do the same task that somebody else can. So Michelle, how did it feel
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when like you just said the hand dexterity, you didn't realize why that was happening until later
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on? How did it feel when suddenly there's almost like that light bulb of, ah, that's why we can't,
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you know, I can't do it. Did that feel empowering or did that feel, did that make you feel down or sad?
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It was more empowering at that point. I think that that part was empowering because it made a
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lot of sense, like, oh, okay, this is why I had, I had answers and I never heard this before. We
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knew my handwriting wasn't that great. But I think the sad part was that I had to get evaluated for
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a learning disability again, twice, because once was for getting transportation for people with
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disabilities. And the other time was I thought, oh, I'm going to go to grad school and that didn't
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work out. And on every single one of those evaluations, this is even after I got my bachelor's
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degree, they were, they asked me what I wanted to do with my life. And I said, oh, I want to write
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news reports. I want to go and I forget some of the other stuff I said I wanted to do. And they said,
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based upon your scores, you're most likely not going to be able to do any of this stuff. So
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we're just not even going to consider that a possibility for you for a job. And I think
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that made my heart, that really made me sad. Yeah. Because I mean, this is what I wanted to do.
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I just laugh at some of this stuff now because they told me I wasn't going to be able to write a
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news report. And I had, I've had articles published, I have a blog. And I mean, if you want me to go
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and program a computer or do math, well, I can't do that obviously, or brush my hands. But it was
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a mixture of both. It was, I was glad that I got diagnosed with that because things made sense.
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But it was also, it's, it was just really sad whenever I had to go through all that again.
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And yeah, and I guess having to continuously go over the same questions of being what do you want
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to do, and then being told continuously, well, you're never going to be able to do that.
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Right. That's almost cruel, isn't it? Of you keep telling me I can't do it.
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And to just continuously put you down and put you down. I think it's absolutely amazing that
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you have stood up against it and you've gone out and got your degree and you've gone out and
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you're working in the school. And, you know, am I right in thinking you've got a book?
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I got three stories published in Anthology last year. And I have a blog called Michelle's Mission
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where I write about life with a learning disability. And I've got another disability
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article published on other sources as well. Look at you, you're just proving them all wrong.
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And I am, I'm proud of you if nobody else is. And so who would you say played a significant
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role in your journey to success? I would first, I like to say my mom and dad did an amazing job.
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They never gave up on me and they advocated for me. And I couldn't have gotten through all those
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years without them because they really, we spent a lot of long, cheerful homework sessions. They
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went to a lot of meetings at the school and they did a really good job explaining my disability to
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me and what that meant. So my mom and dad first and foremost, and I would also say my teachers were
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big on that too because they're the ones that gave me a lot of the skills in the classroom that I
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used when I was in college that I used today. And if I didn't have a foundation of somebody
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teaching me how to do a lot of these things, I don't think I'd be successful either. And I also
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think it's just having a supportive, my husband's great supportive friends where if I was struggling
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in college, they couldn't fix it. They couldn't make my grades being able to pass a class that I
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needed to or make the disability go away. But they could make me smile and be supportive. And I,
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I just been blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.
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That's the important thing, isn't it, is to have that support around you that convulsed you through
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those difficult times. Right. So you've talked about your photography. So what drew you to
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photography and how has that helped you to express yourself and your experiences?
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Well, one of the things I can remember is somebody saw the potential in me. I was at an adult
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writing group when I was very young and I not only got that encouragement from other people
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with writing about having a disability, but I can remember there was an older woman in our group
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and she was looking at pictures from prom and at the venue, there was a picture of a tree.
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And all my peers asked me, why did you take a picture of a tree? And this woman looked at the
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picture and said, this shows perspective. And I thought, oh, I'm not an artist. I can't draw a
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straight line. Oh, I'm not, I'm not good at art. I had tons of arguments with another friend about
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this for years. And I put it on the shelf and I was at a wedding. My husband and I were at a
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family wedding and I went and took pictures at a cemetery on our way back home. And there were
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some angels and I took some pictures and I was showing them to a friend and she said, wow,
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these are really good. And just one of my friends who saw this was really particular about things
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and she wouldn't lie about it. And I entered it into a show and I think I got honorable mention
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with that my first time and I thought, okay, I like this. So I started taking more pictures and
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entering into shows and then I started taking pictures of flowers and other things and people
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were saying, wow, you really bring out details in a flower that I would met that I miss and I'm
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not able to drive because of my disability. So I take a lot of long walks and on these walks,
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I take pictures of flowers and I literally get to stop and smell the roses. And if I wasn't,
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if I was driving, then I would miss all those shots. Yeah. You're too busy driving, you miss
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everything, don't you? Yes, exactly. How wonderful to be able to enjoy that. I love photography.
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I'm a very keen photographer, very amateur, but very keen amateur. So and I can completely
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understand the passion that you would have in doing that and in seeing that detail.
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So looking back at what you've overcome in life, how has your learning disability shaped you into
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the person that you are today? It has shaped me into somebody that is independent. I can definitely,
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I love doing things with other people, but I can also be that person that kind of stands on my own
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ground and can be able to do a lot on my own and think a lot of things with that. I also think
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it shaped me when I work with students because I get to understand not what everyone goes through,
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but what a lot of my students go through. Sometimes it's like hearing a recording of myself. I work
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with seventh graders and a lot of times I hear this, I hate my disability. I hate having an
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individual education plan. I just wish it would all go away. And I get to tell them it's not a
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bad thing to have a disability. And I get to sometimes share, I have a math disability. So
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this is really hard for me. And I understand where a lot of them are coming from. And I get to tell
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them, okay, this is how you advocate. This is how you speak up for yourself. And I honestly think
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if I didn't have my disability, I would still be definitely someone who wanted to work and help
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other people. But I wouldn't have that ability to be able to go in and to truly understand
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what a large majority of them are thinking and feeling.
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I guess that's that you're in their shoes or you've been in their shoes in those younger
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days of your own life. And you can look at it from the different perspectives and the different
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angles and almost advocate, I guess, for them and help them to have a voice, as you say,
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to help them overcome their disabilities and to push the confines of that disability.
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Absolutely amazing. So what's next for you then? Do you have any exciting projects or goals on the
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horizon? My goals are definitely to expand my blog on Michelle's mission. I would like to write a
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book someday. And I want to definitely be able to go out and share my story and to be able to speak
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and just being able to help other people that have disabilities, whether that's in the classroom
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or it's through writing articles and just having that connection and being able to help somebody
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else out. And you speak fantastically. You're very easy to talk to. I had a very brief look
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at your blog before we came on today and at your photography and it's absolutely wonderful.
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So what would you, to any of our listeners who may be, I don't know, younger listeners or
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teenage listeners that have been in that or are currently in those shoes that you've worn,
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what would you say to them? What advice would you give to them as to what they can do if they are
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told you're not good enough or you can't do something? How can they be resilient through
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that? I would first of all encourage them to know what they want to do and to be able to find a way
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to do it. And to remember, success may not always come in the package that we expect,
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but sometimes it comes in something even better. And if one way doesn't work, try another way and
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just keep on researching that and not to give up. I mean, there is a way to be able to do it.
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It may not work on the first try, but just to keep their goals in mind and to try to silence a lot
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of those people that really, I honestly think want to help, but they don't understand the situation
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and just to go after what they want to do. Fanta, I love that, that it may be in different packaging.
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Absolutely. And if it helps anyone listening, it took me four attempts to pass my maths.
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So yes, I am useless at maths. I probably couldn't do anything now. So Michelle,
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how could our listeners reach out to you? Where can they find you? Sure. You can find me in my
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blog at www.missismichelsmission.com. Fantastic. And we will put the links to your blog in the
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podcast notes for anyone to pick up there and your bio. So you'll have to send me your bio,
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please. Yes, I will do so. Thank you so very much for coming along to our recording today.
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I've loved speaking to you and for the passion that you've shown in pushing those boundaries
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and absolutely blowing all of those negative comments from people out of the water
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and standing up and saying, this is Michelle. I am telling you and showing you who I am.
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Very well done to you, Michelle. Thank you so much. Thank you very much for coming today.
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Yeah. Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoy listening to the episode
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and learn some tips on how to manage your emotions in a healthy way. If you've been affected by
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anything in the podcast or if you want to share your feedback or questions, please email clare
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at angermanagementcoach.co.uk. Thank you for listening and do remember you have the power
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to calm your emotions and communicate effectively.
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Welcome to Embracing Continuous Behaviour Change for Anger Management, the podcast that
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helps you to calm your emotions and communicate effectively.
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And I'm your host Care Bradley, the Anger Management Coach.
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In this podcast I'll bring you expert interviews, inspiring stories and practical advice on
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calming your emotions and living a more peaceful and fulfilling life. So sit back, relax and
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get ready to master your emotions.
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So good evening listeners, I'mClare Bradley, your host. Thank you so much for tuning in.
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I have, as you would expect by now, another amazing guest for you all to listen to today.
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Tonight we have Michelle Steiner who is joining us. Hi Michelle, how are you?
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Great Claire, how are you doing today? I'm really well thank you, it's been a long week,
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it's been a very good week but long and I'm tired now. But yeah, so whereabouts in the world are
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you situated? I live in the United States, I live in Pennsylvania. Oh lovely, very nice.
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And it's three o'clock there where you are, it's eight o'clock. So Michelle I put out,
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I think I put out a request on Facebook asking for people to come forward who could talk about
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their, how they've overcome things going on in their life and I think you reached out to me
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and said I'd actually like to speak about my journey. So would you, I don't know if you even
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you can remember what you said to me in that response. Can you remember what you said?
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I can probably give a general idea. I talked about my life, I have a learning disability
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and I was diagnosed whenever I was in kindergarten and a lot of people told me
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from the very beginning that I was not going to be able to do very much. I was told that I was
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not, I was never going to be able to go to college, I was told, I mean that was as a teenager. But
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even when I was a young child a lot of people didn't know what I could do with my life and I also
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had other people that would tell me, a psychiatrist told me I wasn't going to go beyond community
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college and I had professors when I dig at the college that were telling me, oh you're going
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to have limited job choices or you're not a good writer and just a lot of things and discouraged
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me from really doing a lot of things like that. And I even had people whenever I was at college
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that my peers, they thought using disability services was cheating. So I had a lot of people in my life
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that didn't think I could do a lot of things but I was able to do a lot with that.
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And how did that feel at such a young age as you say as a teenager to hear people being so negative
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about you and about what you could do? And as you said, that could have very much limited
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and it hasn't thankfully, that could have very much limited what you did and went on to go and do.
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So how did it feel? It was really discouraging for me. I was already afraid. I had to repeat
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kindergarten in the very beginning of school and that was a fear that I had that I carried through
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all my years. And then eventually with doing all the support services at school with having classes
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and eventually being in more regular ed classes and having the supports, I was doing really well
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but I was afraid. That was really negative. I thought for so many years if I could just get rid
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of this disability, my life would be perfect and I can move on. And I felt really discouraged
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every time that someone would say something but also whenever I would try to do something or put
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forth effort and that I didn't succeed, I was really discouraged and I was a very negative
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person for a lot of years. Yeah, I was. I wasn't a very happy person and I worried a lot and I
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had to do a lot of things scared doing that and it just made me not want to get help for a lot of
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things when I was in college. I didn't want to go and get the accommodations because I didn't want
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to be boxing to a category or I didn't want to be known to someone. Oh, she's cheating on things.
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And I had a very poor view of myself for a number of years. So that really was something that made
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me just very fearful and just not a very happy person. What a shame. And could you share the
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moment what that felt like when you realized that you were now about to prove everybody wrong?
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And you were going to go out and you were going to achieve those goals because that must have been
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such a huge impactful time for you. It really was. And also in the very beginning, it still was
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kind of a low point for me because I was able to move out on my own. I worked some temp jobs that
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I wanted something better for myself and I liked my independence but due to financial reasons,
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I had to move back in with my parents and that just kind of added on to a lot of
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just things that were happening. But I thought, okay, this is the time to go back to school.
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And I did a lot of research. I found a program that had the least amount of math and science
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possible and it had disability accommodations and I thought I just have to give it a try. That was
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my headspace. I just have to give this a try. And whatever was really bad or if I was really
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struggling in a class or just not having a great day, I would go pass where they would have
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graduations at. And I would just give this visualization of this warm sunny day and walking
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across the stage and getting my bachelor's degree. And sure enough, that did happen for me.
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And it was a beautiful sunny day when that happened and I got that degree. And it was one of the most
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healing things that I ever did. And I was so happy and so proud when I got that. But I did this.
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I couldn't have done it without the support of family, friends, and of course the support
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services were on campus. And after that, I graduated, that just changed my whole outlook on things.
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I wasn't sad. My disability didn't go away. I still cannot do math to save my life now. I still
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can't drive. I still have a lot of struggles with having a disability. But I find that whenever
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I do things that I can do, I feel so much more empowered than when I focus on what I can't do.
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And that has really been part of that key as success for me. And getting the bachelor's
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degree was just the start of a lot of those things. And I know that's not the thing for everybody.
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And for the hazard learning disability, maybe that's not something that'll help somebody or maybe it's
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just not something they want to pursue. But for me, that's what I needed to do. And my life really
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changed a lot after that point.
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It's as though you pushed the boundaries of those disabilities, wasn't it? And it was like,
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okay, I'm just going to push it a little bit. Oh, it's moving. Oh, I'll push it a little bit more.
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Oh, it's still moving. And as you say, disabilities affect people in their own way. Everybody's
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disability is completely differently. So what some people may be able to do, others may not be able
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to do, but you've absolutely proved the point of don't just sit there and listen to what you're
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told, that negativity. It's about standing up or not necessarily standing up per se, but just saying,
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I am going to actually try and prove you wrong and how fantastic that was for you.
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So were there any particular challenges or self doubts that you struggled with when pursuing
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your education or your career? And how did you push through those moments?
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Yes, there was definitely a challenge. Just anything math related was a challenge for me.
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And I knew math was going to be that. Yeah, it was definitely going to be that point that was
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going to be difficulty and anything science related. And what I did was when I was in those
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classes, I made sure that I went to tutoring, I talked with my professors, I let them know what
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was going on. And I did not do well in them. I in one class, I was able to get a waiver when I
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was at community college because I have the documentation of a disability. And I also had
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that I was going to class every day, I was going to tutoring and it still just was working out
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and everything matched up according to with the disability. When I got to university,
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I didn't have the option of a waiver. Instead, what I had to do was I had to,
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I got a really great professor that was a philosophy based class. And he saw that I was
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trying every day. And I was going to tutoring and it was so discouraging going in there and not
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not passing the test, but I used all the disability accommodations and I passed the
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class with the D and that's all I needed. Fantastic. But that was doing a lot of research too.
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So now at my job, I have to let people know I cannot do math. That is something that I'm not
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able to do. And sometimes I do encounter situations where they might put me in a class
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where they're doing that. And I just have to be honest, if a kid asks me for help,
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I'm like, I'm really sorry I can't help you. Okay, the teacher's over there, go ask her.
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So sometimes that can be an issue. Driving can also be an issue as well.
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I'm not very coordinated. And we knew this when I was a very young child because I would flinch
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every time a ball would come at me and I could trip over air. And we knew driving was going
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to be an issue because it's not just as simple as, okay, you don't play sports. But my parents,
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so what my parents had me do was we waited a year before we even attempted to try to do anything
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towards driving. And I lived down in the country and there was this huge field and my mom, dad said,
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okay, why don't you go try to move the field? And instead of making these beautiful long lines
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along this field, I ended up making crop circles. So I always joke around that I have solved the
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mystery of where crop circles come from. It was me all along. Yeah, it was me all along.
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And my parents had me evaluated. And they I passed every single test except for the visual
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perception. They said it wasn't safe to get my license. But I just took that head on like
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everything else. I thought, okay, I'll take the bus, I'll walk, I have a great support system
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with a husband that takes me to work and a great co worker that is able to take me home at the end
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of the day, and I able to walk to where I need to go to. So living in a central location has been
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important. My hand dexterity, they didn't find that out until I was an adult. But once the light
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bulb went off, once we figured that out, because, oh, that's why things drop out of my hands. That's
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why my handwriting is so poor. That's why just sometimes I can't open things up very much. And
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that is just one of those things too that I may not be able to do. But we just find ways around
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things that might be difficult. It's not that I can't do something. It's just I might need to do a
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different way to be able to do the same task that somebody else can. So Michelle, how did it feel
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when like you just said the hand dexterity, you didn't realize why that was happening until later
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on? How did it feel when suddenly there's almost like that light bulb of, ah, that's why we can't,
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you know, I can't do it. Did that feel empowering or did that feel, did that make you feel down or sad?
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It was more empowering at that point. I think that that part was empowering because it made a
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lot of sense, like, oh, okay, this is why I had, I had answers and I never heard this before. We
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knew my handwriting wasn't that great. But I think the sad part was that I had to get evaluated for
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a learning disability again, twice, because once was for getting transportation for people with
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disabilities. And the other time was I thought, oh, I'm going to go to grad school and that didn't
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work out. And on every single one of those evaluations, this is even after I got my bachelor's
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degree, they were, they asked me what I wanted to do with my life. And I said, oh, I want to write
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news reports. I want to go and I forget some of the other stuff I said I wanted to do. And they said,
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based upon your scores, you're most likely not going to be able to do any of this stuff. So
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we're just not even going to consider that a possibility for you for a job. And I think
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that made my heart, that really made me sad. Yeah. Because I mean, this is what I wanted to do.
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I just laugh at some of this stuff now because they told me I wasn't going to be able to write a
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news report. And I had, I've had articles published, I have a blog. And I mean, if you want me to go
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and program a computer or do math, well, I can't do that obviously, or brush my hands. But it was
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a mixture of both. It was, I was glad that I got diagnosed with that because things made sense.
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But it was also, it's, it was just really sad whenever I had to go through all that again.
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And yeah, and I guess having to continuously go over the same questions of being what do you want
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to do, and then being told continuously, well, you're never going to be able to do that.
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Right. That's almost cruel, isn't it? Of you keep telling me I can't do it.
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And to just continuously put you down and put you down. I think it's absolutely amazing that
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you have stood up against it and you've gone out and got your degree and you've gone out and
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you're working in the school. And, you know, am I right in thinking you've got a book?
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I got three stories published in Anthology last year. And I have a blog called Michelle's Mission
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where I write about life with a learning disability. And I've got another disability
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article published on other sources as well. Look at you, you're just proving them all wrong.
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And I am, I'm proud of you if nobody else is. And so who would you say played a significant
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role in your journey to success? I would first, I like to say my mom and dad did an amazing job.
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They never gave up on me and they advocated for me. And I couldn't have gotten through all those
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years without them because they really, we spent a lot of long, cheerful homework sessions. They
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went to a lot of meetings at the school and they did a really good job explaining my disability to
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me and what that meant. So my mom and dad first and foremost, and I would also say my teachers were
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big on that too because they're the ones that gave me a lot of the skills in the classroom that I
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used when I was in college that I used today. And if I didn't have a foundation of somebody
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teaching me how to do a lot of these things, I don't think I'd be successful either. And I also
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think it's just having a supportive, my husband's great supportive friends where if I was struggling
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in college, they couldn't fix it. They couldn't make my grades being able to pass a class that I
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needed to or make the disability go away. But they could make me smile and be supportive. And I,
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I just been blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.
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That's the important thing, isn't it, is to have that support around you that convulsed you through
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those difficult times. Right. So you've talked about your photography. So what drew you to
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photography and how has that helped you to express yourself and your experiences?
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Well, one of the things I can remember is somebody saw the potential in me. I was at an adult
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writing group when I was very young and I not only got that encouragement from other people
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with writing about having a disability, but I can remember there was an older woman in our group
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and she was looking at pictures from prom and at the venue, there was a picture of a tree.
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And all my peers asked me, why did you take a picture of a tree? And this woman looked at the
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picture and said, this shows perspective. And I thought, oh, I'm not an artist. I can't draw a
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straight line. Oh, I'm not, I'm not good at art. I had tons of arguments with another friend about
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this for years. And I put it on the shelf and I was at a wedding. My husband and I were at a
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family wedding and I went and took pictures at a cemetery on our way back home. And there were
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some angels and I took some pictures and I was showing them to a friend and she said, wow,
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these are really good. And just one of my friends who saw this was really particular about things
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and she wouldn't lie about it. And I entered it into a show and I think I got honorable mention
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with that my first time and I thought, okay, I like this. So I started taking more pictures and
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entering into shows and then I started taking pictures of flowers and other things and people
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were saying, wow, you really bring out details in a flower that I would met that I miss and I'm
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not able to drive because of my disability. So I take a lot of long walks and on these walks,
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I take pictures of flowers and I literally get to stop and smell the roses. And if I wasn't,
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if I was driving, then I would miss all those shots. Yeah. You're too busy driving, you miss
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everything, don't you? Yes, exactly. How wonderful to be able to enjoy that. I love photography.
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I'm a very keen photographer, very amateur, but very keen amateur. So and I can completely
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understand the passion that you would have in doing that and in seeing that detail.
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So looking back at what you've overcome in life, how has your learning disability shaped you into
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the person that you are today? It has shaped me into somebody that is independent. I can definitely,
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I love doing things with other people, but I can also be that person that kind of stands on my own
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ground and can be able to do a lot on my own and think a lot of things with that. I also think
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it shaped me when I work with students because I get to understand not what everyone goes through,
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but what a lot of my students go through. Sometimes it's like hearing a recording of myself. I work
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with seventh graders and a lot of times I hear this, I hate my disability. I hate having an
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individual education plan. I just wish it would all go away. And I get to tell them it's not a
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bad thing to have a disability. And I get to sometimes share, I have a math disability. So
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this is really hard for me. And I understand where a lot of them are coming from. And I get to tell
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them, okay, this is how you advocate. This is how you speak up for yourself. And I honestly think
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if I didn't have my disability, I would still be definitely someone who wanted to work and help
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other people. But I wouldn't have that ability to be able to go in and to truly understand
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what a large majority of them are thinking and feeling.
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I guess that's that you're in their shoes or you've been in their shoes in those younger
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days of your own life. And you can look at it from the different perspectives and the different
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angles and almost advocate, I guess, for them and help them to have a voice, as you say,
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to help them overcome their disabilities and to push the confines of that disability.
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Absolutely amazing. So what's next for you then? Do you have any exciting projects or goals on the
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horizon? My goals are definitely to expand my blog on Michelle's mission. I would like to write a
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book someday. And I want to definitely be able to go out and share my story and to be able to speak
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and just being able to help other people that have disabilities, whether that's in the classroom
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or it's through writing articles and just having that connection and being able to help somebody
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else out. And you speak fantastically. You're very easy to talk to. I had a very brief look
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at your blog before we came on today and at your photography and it's absolutely wonderful.
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So what would you, to any of our listeners who may be, I don't know, younger listeners or
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teenage listeners that have been in that or are currently in those shoes that you've worn,
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what would you say to them? What advice would you give to them as to what they can do if they are
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told you're not good enough or you can't do something? How can they be resilient through
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that? I would first of all encourage them to know what they want to do and to be able to find a way
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to do it. And to remember, success may not always come in the package that we expect,
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but sometimes it comes in something even better. And if one way doesn't work, try another way and
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just keep on researching that and not to give up. I mean, there is a way to be able to do it.
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It may not work on the first try, but just to keep their goals in mind and to try to silence a lot
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of those people that really, I honestly think want to help, but they don't understand the situation
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and just to go after what they want to do. Fanta, I love that, that it may be in different packaging.
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Absolutely. And if it helps anyone listening, it took me four attempts to pass my maths.
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So yes, I am useless at maths. I probably couldn't do anything now. So Michelle,
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how could our listeners reach out to you? Where can they find you? Sure. You can find me in my
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blog at www.missismichelsmission.com. Fantastic. And we will put the links to your blog in the
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podcast notes for anyone to pick up there and your bio. So you'll have to send me your bio,
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please. Yes, I will do so. Thank you so very much for coming along to our recording today.
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I've loved speaking to you and for the passion that you've shown in pushing those boundaries
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and absolutely blowing all of those negative comments from people out of the water
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and standing up and saying, this is Michelle. I am telling you and showing you who I am.
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Very well done to you, Michelle. Thank you so much. Thank you very much for coming today.
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Yeah. Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoy listening to the episode
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and learn some tips on how to manage your emotions in a healthy way. If you've been affected by
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anything in the podcast or if you want to share your feedback or questions, please email clare
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at angermanagementcoach.co.uk. Thank you for listening and do remember you have the power
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to calm your emotions and communicate effectively.
