Gary Gulman

WEBVTT
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How was school today?
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Ah, you know, football training, lunch with the lads.
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Oh, and I have that art project to finish.
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We all know that school days are filled with learning,
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social development and fun. But one in five young people
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are missing a month or more of their school year.
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And when they miss school, they miss out. Which can
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impact exam results and well-being later on. Every school day
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is a new day. Visit gov.ie forward slash school attendance.
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An initiative of the Government of Ireland.
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Hi, my name is Gary Goleman.
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And I feel ecstatic about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
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That's very sweet. And I feel like I wouldn't be
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that irritating. Okay, now wait a minute. Now I have reservations.
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Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring
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the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence,
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books and pens, I.
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Can tell that we are gonna be friends. Yes, I
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can tell that we are gonna be friends.
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Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined
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by Sona Movsesian. Hey, Sona. Hi. Hi. Matt Gourley, how
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are you, sir?
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Merry Christmas.
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Well, I was going to get to that. Yeah. You
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think I wouldn't get to that? I have to say,
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I do get the Christmas spirit. Do you?
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Yeah.
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Are you sick?
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What?
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I'm sorry.
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No, I think it's normal.
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I just saw this Dayquil thing. Are you sick?
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Sorry.
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I thought it was because you had the Christmas spirit
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and you're like.
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You're a Scrooge.
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I got sick too after we got back from New York.
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Okay. That made no sense to our listeners.
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I'm sorry.
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This is what our listeners heard. I have the Christmas spirit.
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Are you sick? That's what I heard.
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Yeah.
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That's what I heard too. And you just, yeah, I
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had a cold. Like I got a cold like about
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a week ago. I don't have it anymore, but I
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still take these.
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Okay.
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To just make my voice sound a little better on air.
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Yeah.
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As a son of an infectious disease doctor, no. Easily
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11 days after having a cold, I'm a threat to
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no one, if that's your fear.
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I'm not. I got sick, too.
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That's why I was like, hey, we all got- Well,
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if you're sick, you shouldn't have come in.
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Okay.
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Merry Christmas, everyone.
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It's literally Christmas Day when people are listening to this.
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Thanks a lot, Sona.
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What did I do?
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You killed Christmas. I had a nice Christmas thing, and
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then I started to say, hey, you know, I have
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the Christmas spirit. You're sick. You sick fuck. How dare
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you have the Christmas spirit? You pervert. You pervert. What
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does that mean to you? Did you watch some Christmas
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pervy porn? You sick fuck!
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Well, I was on your side and now I'm wondering
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what did you watch? Why do you have the Christmas spirit?
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Because of Christmas pervy porn?
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It's Mrs. Claus. No, stop.
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Don't do it. Don't do it.
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This is where you're lying. She's got a slamming bod
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and then there's a knock at the door and she
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thinks it's an elf, but it's a pizza delivery. What
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are you doing? And she's like, I expected an elf.
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But I forgot that I ordered a pizza. And he says, yeah,
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extra sausage. And she says, what? I don't like sausage.
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And he said, no, that's double entendre for dick. And
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she's like, no, I just don't like sausage. And he said,
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there's no sausage, Mrs. Claus. That's the thing you say
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when you're about.
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To, you know.
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Take out the penis. Well, just so we're clear, there's
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no sausage.
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This is the worst porn I've ever seen.
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Where's Santa?
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Is he out on his mission?
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Santa is so sick of Mrs. Claus misunderstanding Dublin Tondra
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that he just doesn't even have much of a life
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with her anymore. Okay, I see. Because whenever he's trying
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to be romantic, you know?
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Oh, man.
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Yeah, he'll like just say some... what, some harmless double entendre.
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Like, check out this North Pole.
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Yeah, check out this North Pole. And she'd be like,
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we're at the North Pole. Why would I have to
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check it out? We live here. And he's like, no, no,
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I'm telling you, Sandra, that's Mrs. Claus's real name.
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Is it?
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No, no, no, Sandra, we haven't had sex in a while,
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and I thought maybe to spice things up, I'd say
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check out this North Pole. But what do you mean?
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We're at the North Pole. No, no, I meant my
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blood-engorged cock. Oh! That's all. I'm trying to put some spice.
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But wait a minute.
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Why did you say North? Because the pole is my
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literal anatomical pole. Oh, God damn it, Sandra. I'm going
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back to the workshop. I'm going to go fuck a birdhouse. Well,
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Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, you old savings
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and loan. God bless us, everyone. Oh, my God. That
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gets people in the spirit right there. Now, listen, I
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want to understand something because I know that is Christmas
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celebrated at a different time of year in the Armenian calendar? Yes.
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Well, it's the Orthodox Christmas, which is January 6th.
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What's that mean exactly?
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Don't ask me.
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Yeah, but what I would say- I don't know. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I only know this because, you know, Sona started working
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for me and I was, I think was pretty nice.
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I'd give you a nice Christmas gift and I'd get
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nothing back. And she would say, yeah, I'll get you
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an Armenian Christmas. And I thought that for a while
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that was an excuse. Like, yeah, maybe I'll get you something.
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Maybe I won't. But then it turned out you always
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did give me really nice gifts just later on.
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It's better because you don't have to deal with the
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Christmas rush. And then you have a lot of sales
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after- After Christmas, yeah. So it always worked out, and
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it gave me more time to do things. But we
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celebrate both.
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Oh, you do both? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That always used
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to make me, I had friends who would celebrate Hanukkah,
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but also Christmas. And I thought, oh, come on.
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Well, as a children of divorced parents, I got two Christmases, which,
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you know, was a silver lining.
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You'll be okay. You seem to turn out just fine.
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Did I? You're not a weird guy at all. Okay, good. No,
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you seem fine. Because I thought maybe I was.
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No, no.
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Oh, God.
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No.
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Oh, God. No. They'll get back together. Yeah, sure they will.
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They'll get back together. It's literally been 43 years. There's
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a good, healthy reason why you spent a lot of
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your life working at an amusement park. Oh, this Christmas
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is the one. To create the joy artificially that you
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couldn't have.
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It's so personal.
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I'm at the happiest place on earth, so I must
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be happy. Any day now. Any day now. Here comes
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my dad. Your dad is goofy? Oh, no.
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My dad did work at Disney, though. He met Walt Disney.
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Did he really? Yeah. What was that like? That's a
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cool story.
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But I'm a second generation Disney employee.
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Okay, don't worry about it. Listen. Oh, God. Help me.
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It's fine. I'm sure you... Oh, God.
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Please don't let my daughter work there.
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She's working there now.
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Oh, God.
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Oh, no.
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She's just a baby. Listen. Yes. I... What are you doing?
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I'm just writing rap for when it's time to rap.
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I know, but you wrote it ahead of time.
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Christmas rap.
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Did you hear that? Did you hear him writing? I
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did hear the scribble. Yeah. Listen, I haven't been in
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this business long, and you're Mr. Podcast, and you wrote
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with a ballpoint pen on a hard surface, and it
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sounds like a.
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That's because when you're Mr.
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Podcast, you're not Mr.
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Radio, and all rules are out the window, man.
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It's the wild west. You can write on a podcast.
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You're going to leave that in.
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You can edit it out.
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No, he's going to keep it in.
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Okay.
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Because this is me busting him on, you threw me off.
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I am a, sorry, an artist. Oh, God. And this
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is my medium. Oh, okay. Oh, I am.
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Now you threw me off.
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Oh, okay. That's nice. Was that your sleeping?
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I was snoring.
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Sorry.
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That's terrible. I fell asleep while you were talking about
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being an artist.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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I'm glad you're awake now because as an artist.
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Oh.
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And it will always make me laugh that the Three
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Stooges snore in unison, like in synchronized ways. It's just,
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I don't know. It's gold. It's just gold. And anyone
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who disagrees should never judge comedy. Oh. Sorry, Sona.
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I didn't say I didn't like it.
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Why are you just assuming? It was implied. Well, you
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didn't laugh, but you can laugh on Armenian Christmas.
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Okay.
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Oh, my God. No, I like it too. Are your
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kids going to, on the 25th, will Santa visit your kids?
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Okay. But then he'll also show up on the... Does
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Santa show up on the 6th? He doesn't really show
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up on the 6th for us.
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Or an Armenian figure who shows up?
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No, we say we go to church, but we don't.
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Is there an Armenian Santa?
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No.
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Like an equivalent?
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Like a Gahan Baba?
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Is it January 6th, 3 Kings Day? Isn't that why.
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Don't ask me the specifics.
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Armenians celebrate.
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We should have been asking Eduardo this whole time.
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Yeah, Eduardo knows better than I do. Eduardo is married
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to an Armenian woman.
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Yeah, and apparently one who cares about the religion and
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the heritage. Okay. Okay, but tell us. Tell us what
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you know. Well, January 6th is Dia de los Reyes.
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Well, in Spanish, Dia de los Reyes, the three kings.
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That's when they bring gifts.
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Yes.
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Was that when Jesus really got his gold, frankincense, and
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myrrh or something?
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Correct. Many people say, many conservatives say, that what happened
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on the Capitol on January 6th was just people celebrating.
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Okay.
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No, no, no. Don't connect it. No, no. Listen, that
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is a theory.
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Don't connect it.
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That people were so whipped up about Armenian Christmas that
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they wanted to gather together and celebrate. Don't do it.
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Don't blame the Armenians. And they thought, hey, let's go
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into the Capitol. And hey, the door is locked. Well,
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we can probably push it open. Wrap.
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Wrap.
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Let's push it open. Wrap it. January 6th. 6th was
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an Armenian hoax! Wrap it up!
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I hear those sleigh bells ringing and jing, jing, jing.
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Let's go back to Disneyland.
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No, we're good. Hey, man, that was an insane opening.
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So stupid.
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Stupid, but also in its own way, really stupid.
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You are an artist.
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I am an artist. I'm very excited about our guest
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today because he is an absolutely hilarious comedian. He's ingenious.
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I will say that. That's a good word for this man.
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He is ingenious, whose latest stand-up special, Born on Third Base,
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is now streaming on Max. He also has a new
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memoir entitled Misfit Growing Up Awkward in the 80s. He's
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a delight. He's a fascinating guy. Brilliant. Gary Goleman.
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Welcome.
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I'm going to start by paying you a compliment, which
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is a gentleman who worked for me for, God, almost,
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you know, whatever, 30 years, is Brian Kiley. And Brian Kiley,
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I adore because he's the best joke writer I've ever known.
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One-liner joke writer. Yeah. and also just a great guy
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and- The kindest, most generous. Minus just, but writes a
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deadly joke. Like he can just make an ice bullet
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of a joke and it's beautifully. And I'll tell you,
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Brian Kiley has always raved about you.
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Oh, wow.
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Even before I really got to know you.
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Oh, really?
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Oh, that's so nice.
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Gary Goleman is such a good, and then I started
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watching your, we had you on the show. You did
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what became this viral sensation You did this bit about
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how the states got their abbreviations. And what I remember
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is the architecture and the thought that went into it.
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You're so goddamn smart and the intricacy of it. And
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just immediately thought, who is this guy? This guy's fantastic.
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And then, of course, I keep checking your clip. from
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your appearance on your show where you did this, millions
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and millions and millions of people keep seeing that and
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keep going back to it. And it makes me very
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happy that so many people now have joined the cult.
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Because it is a cult of Gary Goldman. Yes, there
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are no questions allowed.
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No, no, no.
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No questions allowed. They have to follow my orders. Yes.
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And you have certain rights with the other women in
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the cult.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Well, he does. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Because he wears
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the red robe and everyone else wears the blue robe. Oh,
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come on. This is cult 101.
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Oh, sorry.
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Okay. Sorry, sorry. I'm interested. Okay. Oh, you're in, buddy. Uh-oh.
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You and I have a bunch of things to talk about.
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First of all, I want to compliment you in another way,
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which is you have a stand-up special which has dropped
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literally two days ago, I think. Okay, now everyone's correcting
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me with four. Oh, great, because we would have had
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a lot of calls. Why did you guys have to
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correct me on that?
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Because you were looking at us like, am I right?
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Yeah. Yeah, just say, yeah, sure. Okay, yeah, sure. Close enough, idiot.
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That's all I need.
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You were wrong.
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It's just wrong with a soft G.
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Don't do it here now.
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It's not wrong. Don't do it here now.
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Don't do it in front of Gary, please.
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Okay.
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Don't you mean Jerry?
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Yeah. Born on Third Base is your stand-up special, and
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it's hilarious. Now, full disclosure, I'm such a fan that
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I had some involvement with my people in helping to
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bring this to reality, but I'm saying this as someone
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who hates himself. Okay. I'd be more than happy to
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shit on it if I could. It's really, really funny
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and beautifully done. Thank you. It's really nice. And so I'm, congratulations.
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Well, I had a lot of fun touring it and
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the people liked it. And I shot it in Toronto
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where they're just so nice and really love comedy and
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some- Oh.
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My God, Canada. Very grateful. Toronto. Oh my gosh. That's
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where my ghost is going to go when it roams
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the earth. doing bits, it's going to go up to Toronto.
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They have the best taste and they're so nice. They're
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really smart and they laugh and they're fun.
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Yeah.
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And what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?
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What a weird thing to say.
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I don't want to go up.
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That your ghost is going to go to Toronto and
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you're just going to do bits?
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Yeah, I don't want to go to heaven. Heaven sounds boring.
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Okay, okay.
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You're just going to be stuck in this purgatory.
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I don't want to go talk to Eleanor Roosevelt on
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a cloud. I want to go... Up to Toronto and
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do bits and then go to a cool restaurant afterwards.
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But wouldn't heaven, by definition, be a bunch of people
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who love your bits?
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Yeah.
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No, I don't like that. Okay. That seems patronizing. I
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wouldn't like that.
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But you think, I'm sorry, just going back to this.
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You think you're going to go to Toronto, you're going
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to appear as a ghost and people are just going
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to be like, let's see.
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What bits he has. Yes. Gary, if you were in
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Toronto and you knew that I had passed away in
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the last year or two and you heard that my
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ghost was in Toronto and he was doing bits- somewhere,
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wouldn't you check them out?
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I would check them out, and then I would also
359
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spend a lot of time seeing Rush.
360
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Yeah, yeah. But no, in this scenario, they're dead too.
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But they're also playing. No, no, no, this is my
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idea of heaven.
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Rush is touring, and Conan is doing standup associated with it.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And we're also spending time breaking down some of the licks.
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the guitar licks and things like that. And also the.
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I love it.
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The drum solo. This man gets me. This is, yeah.
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Now it makes sense.
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Gary, you are a fellow Massachusetts mass hole like myself.
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You're from Peabody.
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Yes.
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And, you know, you talk about this a lot in
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your special and you've touched on it before, but, It
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really does inform a lot of your comedy, which is,
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I think, quite beautiful. But you grew up poor. You
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grew up, there's no other way to say it. You
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grew up poor. Yeah, we were broke Jewish people, which
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people think, oh, that's a thing?
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Most of us, especially in that time of, in the 70s,
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a lot of people were broke. So yes, half the
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Jews would be broke too, right?
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Everybody was, yeah.
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So, and that was, that informed me. It also, it
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developed my, my personality in terms of my resentment towards
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certain kids growing up who had more than us. And
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it didn't have to be much. It could be an
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above-ground pool. And I would be like, oh, look at
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the opulence. These people, they don't know what it is
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to struggle. And Christmas used to just blow me away.
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These kids would just get so much for Christmas. And
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I would get a thing for... eight nights of a thing,
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but some of them were practical, which you don't want
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for holidays.
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00:16:56.789 --> 00:16:58.889
Like what? Well, give me an example of a practical
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Hanukkah gift.
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I remember everybody says socks, but I would get pajamas,
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which I very rarely wore.
399
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:08.279
Right.
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00:17:09.140 --> 00:17:11.940
It was either freezing cold in my house, which required
401
00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:14.089
an electric blanket, which I can't even believe those things
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were legal at the time.
403
00:17:15.589 --> 00:17:17.829
They were just fire starters, but also.
404
00:17:17.849 --> 00:17:20.609
Oh, they all- And also- It could be electrocuted.
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00:17:20.630 --> 00:17:23.690
I just know this in Massachusetts, but every time a
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00:17:23.730 --> 00:17:27.559
house burned down- Yes. In the 50s, 60s, or 70s,
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00:17:27.579 --> 00:17:30.680
you'd see firemen walking away afterwards.
408
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:30.839
Yeah.
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00:17:30.859 --> 00:17:33.180
Because I'd hang out at these things, and then I
410
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was- As a true arsonist does.
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Yes.
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00:17:37.309 --> 00:17:39.670
But they'd always be like shaking their heads going. And
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you'd always read in the paper that it was an
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electric blanket. An electric blanket.
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Or there would be a fire chief holding up a
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melted light bright.
417
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Yes.
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Yes.
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And it would be, hopefully it would be the clown
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00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:52.680
because the clown face would melt into a frown.
421
00:17:52.740 --> 00:17:53.079
Yeah.
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00:17:53.759 --> 00:17:55.720
Because he was, he was upset by this as well.
423
00:17:55.880 --> 00:17:56.599
Yeah.
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Not just the fire chief. But yeah, those were, those
425
00:17:59.019 --> 00:18:01.140
were the two biggest fire causes. Because what could go
426
00:18:01.180 --> 00:18:05.309
wrong if you took, mid 20th century knowledge of electrical
427
00:18:05.349 --> 00:18:10.130
wiring and ran it through a bunch of cotton and nylon.
428
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Like what could go wrong? And then you go to
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sleep and just crank this thing. So people would just
430
00:18:19.019 --> 00:18:23.890
burst into flames. Yeah, so you grow up in Peabody
431
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and what's interesting is you said that it gave you
432
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a completely different perspective than a lot of kids have
433
00:18:32.589 --> 00:18:34.809
when you grew up not having. You grew up not
434
00:18:34.849 --> 00:18:39.109
having stuff. And so that you knew just by rote
435
00:18:39.569 --> 00:18:43.519
what things cost. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And you had
436
00:18:43.559 --> 00:18:45.660
that all down, which you said, when you don't have money,
437
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you know all of this stuff. Yes, yes.
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That's what always irritated me. I remember I had this
439
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:53.400
neighbor who went to a summer camp. And I was
440
00:18:53.500 --> 00:18:56.559
interested in it because he came back with a, and
441
00:18:56.720 --> 00:18:59.740
this is a phenomenon of Jewish summer camps where, these
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00:18:59.809 --> 00:19:05.710
kids who were kind of average athletics and attractiveness would
443
00:19:05.750 --> 00:19:08.809
go to summer camp and they would walk taller when
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00:19:08.849 --> 00:19:12.630
they returned because they had culled all the Gentile kids
445
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from the group. So it was just, the Jews were
446
00:19:15.259 --> 00:19:18.420
standing out and the only choice the girls had or
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00:19:18.440 --> 00:19:21.440
the boys had were other Jewish people. So there was
448
00:19:21.500 --> 00:19:24.660
this thing and they would be so confident because they
449
00:19:24.680 --> 00:19:26.809
had made out with a girl over the summer where
450
00:19:26.829 --> 00:19:30.690
they weren't getting any makeout sessions and In junior high
451
00:19:30.730 --> 00:19:33.150
or seventh grade or anything. And then they would come
452
00:19:33.190 --> 00:19:35.210
back in the fall and they had more confidence.
453
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And I envied this.
454
00:19:36.170 --> 00:19:38.049
And I remember asking the kid, well, how much does
455
00:19:38.069 --> 00:19:38.650
this thing cost?
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00:19:38.690 --> 00:19:39.410
He says, I don't know.
457
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How would I know how much things cost?
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And I said, oh, you would ask for something and
459
00:19:44.329 --> 00:19:46.779
your parents would tell you, no, we can't afford it.
460
00:19:47.029 --> 00:19:49.170
And then they would tell you how much everything costs.
461
00:19:49.509 --> 00:19:49.950
So you knew.
462
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Knew how much everything.
463
00:19:51.309 --> 00:19:54.390
I remember I wanted this robot called 2XL, which was
464
00:19:54.450 --> 00:19:57.900
really just an eight track player that they had somehow,
465
00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:00.980
it was a brilliant thing where it would, it would
466
00:20:01.039 --> 00:20:04.000
ask you questions and it was a trivia thing and
467
00:20:04.019 --> 00:20:06.220
you got informed and it was $ 54 and 87 cents in, in, in,
468
00:20:09.349 --> 00:20:11.809
Toys R Us where my mom worked at the mall
469
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and she couldn't afford a babysitter so I would at
470
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nine years old walk around the mall for three hours
471
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while she worked and then when the boss left I
472
00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:21.900
could go in there and hang out at the stationary
473
00:20:21.940 --> 00:20:24.349
store but I would walk around hang around at Toys
474
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R Us and at Sears you could play the Atari
475
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for a while and then the Orange Julius.
476
00:20:28.250 --> 00:20:32.130
Kids would give me free Julii I love that you
477
00:20:32.150 --> 00:20:35.609
did the plural of Julius that makes me so.
478
00:20:35.450 --> 00:20:37.400
Happy This sounds like heaven.
479
00:20:39.319 --> 00:20:40.079
It was incredible.
480
00:20:40.099 --> 00:20:45.410
Did you ever have fried octopi with your julii?
481
00:20:45.430 --> 00:20:45.569
So I.
482
00:20:47.410 --> 00:20:50.799
Was like the mall mascot, basically. And I would hang
483
00:20:50.859 --> 00:20:53.220
out at the Toys R Us and there was this
484
00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:57.799
robot called 2XL and I knew It was $ 54. 87, and
485
00:20:58.059 --> 00:20:59.220
every year I would ask for it.
486
00:21:00.269 --> 00:21:02.519
But I also would ask people if I could borrow $ 54.
487
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87.
488
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Which is so.
489
00:21:06.369 --> 00:21:08.990
Specific, but I hadn't worked out the fact that it
490
00:21:09.009 --> 00:21:14.250
would probably be 5% tax. And also, the parents would
491
00:21:14.269 --> 00:21:17.269
always say $ 55, but kids would always know that.
492
00:21:17.190 --> 00:21:18.750
That was $ 54.
493
00:21:17.470 --> 00:21:18.109
87.
494
00:21:18.109 --> 00:21:18.329
Sure.
495
00:21:18.450 --> 00:21:20.869
That was a big kid thing.
496
00:21:20.890 --> 00:21:23.549
Did you ever get it? I did get it.
497
00:21:23.569 --> 00:21:27.019
My mom- There was a neighbor who got it and
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00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:30.349
outgrew it several years later, and my mom bought it
499
00:21:30.730 --> 00:21:34.049
used from them and gave it to me for my birthday.
500
00:21:34.069 --> 00:21:38.730
And it worked 100%. Just the box was damaged because
501
00:21:38.750 --> 00:21:39.430
it had been opened.
502
00:21:42.019 --> 00:21:47.500
I remember Christmas as being perilous, meaning something great could happen,
503
00:21:47.579 --> 00:21:51.339
but also if you're one of six... Wow. You can
504
00:21:51.380 --> 00:21:55.220
get lost in the show. Yeah. And Santa's busy because
505
00:21:56.059 --> 00:22:03.980
he's working at the microbiology lab. And sometimes Santa has
506
00:22:04.039 --> 00:22:09.589
a short fuse. And anyway, I remember once we had
507
00:22:09.609 --> 00:22:14.509
this tradition where we're asleep and Santa would put the gifts.
508
00:22:14.549 --> 00:22:17.309
They weren't wrapped, but each one of the kids in
509
00:22:17.329 --> 00:22:21.400
the family has a piece of furniture wrapped in the
510
00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:23.980
living room. This is where my parents still live, mind you.
511
00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:24.480
Wow.
512
00:22:24.740 --> 00:22:27.250
In Brookline, Mass. And there's a different piece of furniture
513
00:22:27.309 --> 00:22:30.230
and Luke's toys would go on a chair and most
514
00:22:30.269 --> 00:22:33.890
people had a chair and then mine just arbitrarily became
515
00:22:33.930 --> 00:22:38.130
there's this long white couch. Now think about it. Everything
516
00:22:38.170 --> 00:22:42.140
looks tiny and insignificant on a long white couch. And
517
00:22:42.380 --> 00:22:44.200
Santa's busy and there's a lot to do so there
518
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:46.380
were years where Santa's like, okay, I got Neil covered,
519
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:48.740
I got Luke, I got Jane, I got Justin, we
520
00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:51.119
got And then he's down there and he's throwing stuff around.
521
00:22:51.140 --> 00:22:52.359
He's like, I got to get back to the lab.
522
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:56.500
I think that germ got out. And then, you know,
523
00:22:56.599 --> 00:23:00.119
I've been working on something called COVID. I hope it's,
524
00:23:00.500 --> 00:23:03.839
but anyway, that was my dad anyway. And so he
525
00:23:03.859 --> 00:23:07.200
would be, there was one Christmas where I think he
526
00:23:07.220 --> 00:23:08.980
was throwing everything around and then he got to the
527
00:23:09.059 --> 00:23:13.369
giant white couch and there was some socks and there
528
00:23:13.410 --> 00:23:16.150
wasn't much. So I'll never forget that that was the
529
00:23:16.190 --> 00:23:19.910
year he got a toboggan like for everyone to share.
530
00:23:20.329 --> 00:23:23.339
But I come running downstairs and I see this giant
531
00:23:23.390 --> 00:23:26.839
toboggan filling out the couch. And I'm like, I got
532
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:30.319
a toboggan. This is insane. And I'll never forget my
533
00:23:30.339 --> 00:23:34.769
dad went, oh, interesting. Santa told me on his way
534
00:23:34.950 --> 00:23:39.529
out that it's actually for everyone. And I went, huh?
535
00:23:40.180 --> 00:23:42.269
but it's like the one thing that's on my couch.
536
00:23:42.309 --> 00:23:44.849
And he went, as Santa said, you kind of get
537
00:23:44.890 --> 00:23:48.230
to be in charge of it, but it's for everyone.
538
00:23:48.410 --> 00:23:50.470
And I'm like, first of all, you're having a legal
539
00:23:50.549 --> 00:23:54.470
conversation with Santa about ownership. And then how are you
540
00:23:54.529 --> 00:23:57.970
in charge of a toboggan? I get to decide who
541
00:23:57.990 --> 00:24:04.170
sits where. But hey, I got over it. I'm 60
542
00:24:04.170 --> 00:24:08.420
and bitching about it on a podcast. That tracks with
543
00:24:08.440 --> 00:24:12.000
the socialism of 1970s Massachusetts. Oh, my God. And I still,
544
00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:14.279
to this day, when I go home and that white
545
00:24:14.339 --> 00:24:17.400
couch is still there. Oh, really? And I'll still look
546
00:24:17.480 --> 00:24:21.019
at it and I'll be like, fucking toboggan. It was
547
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:24.519
a toboggan and then like some post-its and some socks. Oh,
548
00:24:24.619 --> 00:24:26.119
my God. And an electric blanket.
549
00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:30.230
And then, you know.
550
00:24:30.630 --> 00:24:33.990
Anyway, enough about me. I'm just saying we all suffer.
551
00:24:38.619 --> 00:24:38.900
Thank you.
552
00:24:44.829 --> 00:24:47.690
Good nights are about the people. The laughs.
553
00:24:48.210 --> 00:24:50.970
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561
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Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
562
00:25:13.809 --> 00:25:15.130
I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
563
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:21.140
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies... Eating tons of fresh grass. What?
564
00:25:21.299 --> 00:25:22.599
Not you, or cows.
565
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:25.740
That's one of the reasons Irish milk is so good.
566
00:25:25.980 --> 00:25:28.900
It's famous all over the world. Legend.
567
00:25:30.460 --> 00:25:33.519
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
568
00:25:33.819 --> 00:25:37.339
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
569
00:25:37.380 --> 00:25:41.420
for the National Dairy Council guarantee. Learn more at ndc.ie.
570
00:25:41.660 --> 00:25:44.509
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something more. Proud to be guaranteed Irish. Terms and conditions apply.
578
00:26:15.710 --> 00:26:19.910
I remember one year I did get a bunch of
579
00:26:19.950 --> 00:26:21.809
Dungeons & Dragons books.
580
00:26:21.910 --> 00:26:24.289
And you talk about this. Yeah. You talk about this
581
00:26:24.349 --> 00:26:25.849
in the special. Heck, it's books.
582
00:26:26.329 --> 00:26:29.029
But unfortunately, it came with all these dice and the
583
00:26:29.170 --> 00:26:31.049
maps and everything like that, but it didn't come with
584
00:26:31.109 --> 00:26:38.130
any friends. And that is the greatest oversight of the
585
00:26:38.210 --> 00:26:40.849
TSR company was.
586
00:26:40.730 --> 00:26:45.210
That, yeah, kids who are into this stuff are lonely. Yes. Yeah.
587
00:26:45.650 --> 00:26:47.710
The other thing it says, your word choice is always
588
00:26:47.750 --> 00:26:49.849
so good as a comic. And in the special you said,
589
00:26:49.930 --> 00:26:53.200
I think you said, no one could foresee this. You
590
00:26:53.220 --> 00:26:58.200
said something like that, but it didn't come with friends. Yeah.
591
00:26:58.420 --> 00:27:00.599
You've talked about, I can kind of relate to this.
592
00:27:00.700 --> 00:27:05.240
You have kind of an OCD about honesty. And I
593
00:27:05.299 --> 00:27:08.029
had this too growing up, which is, it was very
594
00:27:08.049 --> 00:27:10.410
important to my mom that we all be thought of well.
595
00:27:10.990 --> 00:27:12.450
One of the things I remembered is we'd all be
596
00:27:12.470 --> 00:27:17.140
gathered around Christmas, Thanksgiving, and we have company over. Or
597
00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:18.960
anytime company was coming and we got to sit in
598
00:27:18.980 --> 00:27:22.029
the dining room and people are sitting around, she'd say,
599
00:27:22.089 --> 00:27:25.799
and now, of course, we always say grace. And I'd say,
600
00:27:25.910 --> 00:27:29.700
we only do this when company's here. Oh, no. And
601
00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:32.799
she would say, that's not true. Oh, that's so good.
602
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:36.000
But I mean, I just couldn't not. Yeah, the dishonesty.
603
00:27:36.099 --> 00:27:39.279
Part of it is I grew up always feeling God
604
00:27:39.299 --> 00:27:41.099
was watching me all the time.
605
00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:42.220
Just because of the.
606
00:27:42.519 --> 00:27:45.640
I just took everything everybody told me seriously so that
607
00:27:45.859 --> 00:27:47.480
I would act up in the house. I would stub
608
00:27:47.519 --> 00:27:51.150
my toe on the corner of a counter. That doesn't
609
00:27:51.190 --> 00:27:55.240
make sense. Not a counter, a cabinet. And my mother
610
00:27:55.279 --> 00:27:56.589
would say, see, God punished you.
611
00:27:56.869 --> 00:27:57.890
And I was like, oh my gosh.
612
00:27:57.910 --> 00:28:01.990
Instead of thinking, gosh, what a prick, I would think, oh,
613
00:28:02.009 --> 00:28:03.210
I better not act up.
614
00:28:03.390 --> 00:28:07.470
I used to think, doesn't God have other things to do? Hey,
615
00:28:07.549 --> 00:28:13.359
Goldman just got out of line. Don't give me old stubberoo. Hey,
616
00:28:13.779 --> 00:28:16.819
what about that tsunami that just wiped out 3,000 people
617
00:28:16.859 --> 00:28:19.180
in Indonesia? Oh, I was dealing with Goldman.
618
00:28:19.500 --> 00:28:20.519
Yeah.
619
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:23.460
And then I went to Hebrew school. I don't know
620
00:28:23.500 --> 00:28:25.500
if you went to Catholic. I went to Hebrew school.
621
00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:29.869
I was immediately asked to leave. No, I went to
622
00:28:29.910 --> 00:28:33.230
Catholic instruction actually with Brian Kiley. Oh, that's so interesting.
623
00:28:33.670 --> 00:28:35.670
So I would go to Hebrew school and they would say, well,
624
00:28:35.809 --> 00:28:38.940
this is a sin, adultery and coveting, being jealous and
625
00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:40.200
bearing false witness.
626
00:28:40.259 --> 00:28:44.059
And are there any others? Yes. Leaving the finger paints out.
627
00:28:44.119 --> 00:28:47.299
Is that is that also a sin that God will
628
00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:51.750
smite you for? But playing with clay without permission. That's
629
00:28:51.769 --> 00:28:56.410
that's another one that God punished me for. Yeah, it
630
00:28:56.450 --> 00:28:59.650
was just the things I was learning in Hebrew school
631
00:28:59.670 --> 00:29:00.690
were not matching up.
632
00:29:01.180 --> 00:29:03.539
With the little I had learned at home. Am I
633
00:29:03.579 --> 00:29:07.400
correct that there's probably really not much difference between if
634
00:29:07.420 --> 00:29:10.079
you're a kid, Hebrew instruction, and if you're a kid,
635
00:29:10.140 --> 00:29:15.079
Catholic instruction, meaning they're both leaning on guilt, beware, watch out,
636
00:29:15.140 --> 00:29:19.490
someone's watching. Because that was my experience. And then the
637
00:29:19.529 --> 00:29:23.029
few times that, well, actually, I grew up in Brookline.
638
00:29:24.250 --> 00:29:26.569
More of my friends were Jewish than were Irish Catholic.
639
00:29:27.089 --> 00:29:30.039
And I would sense that, wait a minute, This is
640
00:29:30.059 --> 00:29:33.869
supposed to be a completely alien religion. This is all
641
00:29:33.930 --> 00:29:35.609
sounding pretty familiar to me.
642
00:29:35.710 --> 00:29:37.990
I went to a Catholic college. I went to Boston
643
00:29:38.009 --> 00:29:41.539
College and I befriended some... Jesuit priests, and they would say, yeah,
644
00:29:41.559 --> 00:29:44.460
there's a lot of intersection in our liturgy. Not so
645
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:49.029
much the words as much as the ideas and where
646
00:29:49.049 --> 00:29:53.230
the stresses are, which is on a very angry, judgmental God.
647
00:29:57.109 --> 00:29:59.710
But as a lot of fathers do when they have
648
00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:01.559
a son late in life, they mellow.
649
00:30:01.779 --> 00:30:06.000
And that's where I see Protestantism. It's sort of a mellower.
650
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:09.819
God, not as likely to smite after having Jesus.
651
00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:13.980
Yeah, the Protestants have a, it's a God that's like
652
00:30:14.019 --> 00:30:20.019
wearing loafers and dockers. And he's Pete Holmes. Yeah, it's
653
00:30:20.059 --> 00:30:24.180
Pete Holmes. It's Pete Holmes' God. as opposed to like
654
00:30:24.259 --> 00:30:29.640
Bill Burr is the Catholic God. I like figuring out
655
00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:35.309
religion just using stand-ups. Oh my gosh. Specifically Northeastern stand-ups.
656
00:30:35.549 --> 00:30:36.109
You know what I mean?
657
00:30:36.150 --> 00:30:38.910
Yeah. Now I'm trying to figure out who would be
658
00:30:38.950 --> 00:30:43.579
the Jewish comedian God. It wouldn't... It wouldn't be crystal.
659
00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:44.259
It wouldn't be... No.
660
00:30:45.420 --> 00:30:48.960
No, too light. He would have five-ish wrinkles voice. Louis Black.
661
00:30:49.019 --> 00:30:50.569
I just got it. It's Louis Black. I love it.
662
00:30:50.589 --> 00:30:52.930
Because you'd be saying things like, do I get this straight?
663
00:30:53.450 --> 00:30:58.309
Let me understand something. You, a post office, wants me
664
00:30:58.349 --> 00:31:01.759
to spend money on a stamp? And then I spend
665
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:03.900
money on the stand. You know, that kind of thing. Wow,
666
00:31:03.940 --> 00:31:05.859
that's good. You know what I used to do?
667
00:31:05.900 --> 00:31:09.549
The morons and the sodomites are having blowjobs.
668
00:31:09.609 --> 00:31:14.299
Yeah. You know what I used to do? I used
669
00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:16.730
to do a Lewis, I like Lewis Black. I love him.
670
00:31:16.910 --> 00:31:18.869
But I used to do a Lewis Black impression where
671
00:31:18.910 --> 00:31:21.150
he's getting, because his whole thing was getting worked up
672
00:31:21.250 --> 00:31:23.809
over something that's kind of small. And I used to
673
00:31:23.869 --> 00:31:27.839
do a Lewis Black impression about things where he's worked
674
00:31:27.859 --> 00:31:30.079
up about something you should be worked up about. So
675
00:31:30.099 --> 00:31:32.299
I'd be like, have you heard about this thing called chit-napping?
676
00:31:34.500 --> 00:31:40.559
Someone takes a child! They take a child! who is
677
00:31:40.650 --> 00:31:44.910
the only son or daughter of these loving parents, and
678
00:31:44.950 --> 00:31:48.900
they take them away. And they say you'll only see
679
00:31:48.920 --> 00:31:50.119
him alive again.
680
00:31:49.819 --> 00:31:52.809
If we get money.
681
00:31:53.619 --> 00:31:59.049
And it would really make me laugh because I'd be like, uh-huh. Yeah.
682
00:31:59.069 --> 00:32:01.690
Just him getting mad about stuff he should get mad about.
683
00:32:02.509 --> 00:32:04.329
Kylie used to always tell me, he would say, you
684
00:32:04.349 --> 00:32:07.809
have no idea how funny the meetings are in Conan's office.
685
00:32:07.890 --> 00:32:11.529
And initially I was skeptical. I thought- You said Conan's
686
00:32:11.549 --> 00:32:13.089
not that funny? How can he be funny in a meeting? No,
687
00:32:13.089 --> 00:32:15.890
I said- Yeah, everybody's going to laugh at their boss, right?
688
00:32:16.150 --> 00:32:19.539
And then I just started listening to the podcast, but
689
00:32:19.660 --> 00:32:22.619
also he would tell me the stories, the bits you
690
00:32:22.660 --> 00:32:24.619
would do, which was one of my favorites was the
691
00:32:24.660 --> 00:32:25.819
dirty Brian Kiley.
692
00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:28.440
I would do, yeah. I would do Brian, it's called
693
00:32:28.480 --> 00:32:33.480
Brian Kiley at the Apollo. Now, Brian Kiley, again, as
694
00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:38.420
you know, tells really clean jokes. And he wears the
695
00:32:38.519 --> 00:32:40.099
creased chinos.
696
00:32:40.119 --> 00:32:40.220
Yeah.
697
00:32:40.779 --> 00:32:45.059
And a blue- And schmaltz-less. Puts nothing on it. The
698
00:32:45.099 --> 00:32:47.059
jokes are just, I mean, I can't even- They're just perfect.
699
00:32:47.079 --> 00:32:49.680
You could read them. They're beautiful, but also his character
700
00:32:50.140 --> 00:32:52.740
is so mild-mannered. But Kylie, and he'd stand up there,
701
00:32:52.759 --> 00:32:55.980
and he's very Catholic, and he tells these wonderful jokes,
702
00:32:56.920 --> 00:32:58.740
and he always is doing this with his hands. He
703
00:32:58.779 --> 00:33:01.180
doesn't move his body, really, at all, when he's up
704
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:04.140
on stage. And so I started doing Kylie at the Apollo,
705
00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:07.140
where he's up there, and he's like, Hi, everybody. Good
706
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:10.349
to see you. I'm Brian Kylie. And the other day,
707
00:33:10.420 --> 00:33:20.640
I'm- I'm going down on this bitch. So I'm eating
708
00:33:20.660 --> 00:33:26.109
her out. And he's still the same mannerisms. And then
709
00:33:27.180 --> 00:33:31.630
I work my way down to her asshole. And I
710
00:33:31.690 --> 00:33:37.750
start licking out her asshole. And then I'm like, bitch,
711
00:33:39.369 --> 00:33:44.220
you gotta wash your ass. and he's killing, murdering, but
712
00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:47.200
then he goes backstage, kills, and he goes, well, that's
713
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:49.769
my time, thank you, and then he goes backstage, and
714
00:33:49.789 --> 00:33:51.349
I would always have him sit in a little iron
715
00:33:51.410 --> 00:33:54.809
chair and read a Truman biography quietly, and then someone
716
00:33:54.829 --> 00:33:56.769
would come and go, get out there again, they want
717
00:33:56.809 --> 00:33:58.670
more of you, and he'd be like, oh, okay, and
718
00:33:58.710 --> 00:34:00.190
he'd close it, and he'd go back out there, and
719
00:34:00.230 --> 00:34:06.210
he'd go, the other day, I'm... I'm whipping this guy.
720
00:34:06.269 --> 00:34:08.150
Like whatever, it's just.
721
00:34:08.269 --> 00:34:10.429
It's weird to hear you even talk like that.
722
00:34:10.449 --> 00:34:12.969
I know, I know. But the thing is when I'm
723
00:34:13.030 --> 00:34:16.239
channeling Kylie, The whole rule was none of this helps
724
00:34:16.280 --> 00:34:18.300
the show. None of this can be on the show.
725
00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:19.920
None of it can help the show.
726
00:34:19.940 --> 00:34:23.559
It's just funnier because I know who Brian Kiley is.
727
00:34:23.599 --> 00:34:27.309
And I hope people go and look at his comedy online.
728
00:34:27.329 --> 00:34:28.329
Go look at Brian Kiley.
729
00:34:28.409 --> 00:34:31.050
So they can see how much of a... Just how
730
00:34:31.230 --> 00:34:32.690
different it is, what you're saying.
731
00:34:32.750 --> 00:34:36.869
I took a shit the other day. I hate all
732
00:34:36.909 --> 00:34:37.190
of this.
733
00:34:37.730 --> 00:34:37.949
Why?
734
00:34:38.269 --> 00:34:39.579
I mean, I love it.
735
00:34:39.610 --> 00:34:42.760
But imagining Kiley do it, it's just crazy.
736
00:34:42.780 --> 00:34:43.619
Because he is the most.
737
00:34:44.099 --> 00:34:46.039
I think he might be the most straight-laced person I've
738
00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:47.800
ever met in my life.
739
00:34:47.900 --> 00:34:48.500
Yeah.
740
00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:50.550
And just now I have the mental image of him
741
00:34:50.610 --> 00:34:52.110
doing that. Also, you know what I always do?
742
00:34:52.170 --> 00:34:54.889
I always add him driving home in a very small,
743
00:34:54.989 --> 00:34:57.889
sensible square car and then going home and pulling the
744
00:34:57.929 --> 00:35:00.329
blanket up to his chin to go to sleep. And
745
00:35:00.349 --> 00:35:03.030
then the phone rings. With a nightcap. With a nightcap.
746
00:35:03.070 --> 00:35:04.690
And then the phone rings and it's the club going,
747
00:35:04.739 --> 00:35:07.500
they're screaming for you. They want more. And so he
748
00:35:07.539 --> 00:35:10.260
gets out, puts on his blazer, gets back in his
749
00:35:10.300 --> 00:35:12.840
little car, goes back there, and then goes out and
750
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:16.079
becomes this other person. Yeah, I picture him with a
751
00:35:16.139 --> 00:35:20.500
pipe carousel. Yeah, probably. And the other thing is that
752
00:35:21.510 --> 00:35:23.510
he's the person who.
753
00:35:23.469 --> 00:35:26.230
Reads the most long books ever.
754
00:35:26.530 --> 00:35:30.530
Like Robert Caro, those LBJ books that are- Well, not
755
00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:31.789
the person, one of the people.
756
00:35:31.809 --> 00:35:32.090
Really?
757
00:35:32.110 --> 00:35:34.289
Yeah, he and I have that same affliction. Oh, I
758
00:35:34.389 --> 00:35:36.789
didn't realize that. That was one of the questions I
759
00:35:36.809 --> 00:35:37.929
was gonna ask. No, we both do that. Did you
760
00:35:37.969 --> 00:35:40.789
like that Robert Caro documentary? Have you seen that? I'm
761
00:35:40.829 --> 00:35:45.130
in it. Oh yes, you fucker. I'm sorry. You fucker.
762
00:35:45.170 --> 00:35:47.769
I got confused because you were also in the- You
763
00:35:48.010 --> 00:35:50.369
thought that was Dennis Leary going on and on about Caro?
764
00:35:51.360 --> 00:35:54.289
I'm in documentaries I shouldn't be in about sex trafficking
765
00:35:54.329 --> 00:35:58.250
in Sweden. And Conor O'Brien went, I think you should
766
00:35:58.289 --> 00:36:02.409
be in that one. Well, I was cleared.
767
00:36:02.829 --> 00:36:05.309
I took notes today on things I should bring up.
768
00:36:07.230 --> 00:36:09.949
The fact that Rupert Murdoch gave us two of the
769
00:36:10.230 --> 00:36:14.969
most important comedy things in history, like the same summer,
770
00:36:15.050 --> 00:36:17.349
Simpsons and Get a Life. I was like, this man
771
00:36:17.389 --> 00:36:21.690
has done really nothing for the world, but Then these
772
00:36:21.730 --> 00:36:24.489
two really important things that brought so much joy and
773
00:36:24.869 --> 00:36:27.530
helped me get through all these things that he caused.
774
00:36:27.650 --> 00:36:29.929
And you should, just for a second, because there are
775
00:36:29.949 --> 00:36:31.789
going to be people listening or young people that don't
776
00:36:31.829 --> 00:36:33.380
know what Get a Life is. Oh, yeah.
777
00:36:33.619 --> 00:36:36.519
He had this show that was short-lived, of course, because
778
00:36:36.559 --> 00:36:38.420
it was so good and so it's time, but it
779
00:36:38.460 --> 00:36:41.579
was on maybe 30 episodes on Fox called Get a Life.
780
00:36:41.639 --> 00:36:45.460
And he played Chris Peterson, who was a 30-year-old paperboy
781
00:36:45.519 --> 00:36:46.000
who lived at.
782
00:36:45.980 --> 00:36:48.570
Home with his parents, but was arrogant.
783
00:36:48.769 --> 00:36:48.949
Yes.
784
00:36:49.400 --> 00:36:53.989
Arrogant, a little bit nuts, believed in himself, got laid
785
00:36:54.010 --> 00:36:55.050
all the time.
786
00:36:55.389 --> 00:36:57.329
It was very forward with women. Well, then also it
787
00:36:57.369 --> 00:37:00.610
got very- And so beautifully written and like Odenkirk wrote
788
00:37:00.670 --> 00:37:03.190
on it. Odenkirk wrote on it. Charlie Kaufman. Yeah. And
789
00:37:03.230 --> 00:37:07.070
then as the series, later on, they started having him
790
00:37:07.150 --> 00:37:09.690
die at the end of every episode, but then not
791
00:37:09.750 --> 00:37:11.170
explaining why he was back.
792
00:37:11.590 --> 00:37:11.889
Yes.
793
00:37:12.050 --> 00:37:14.690
And I just always remember as a comedy fan, when
794
00:37:14.730 --> 00:37:19.050
people do that, I'm just, yay. Yeah. Thank you.
795
00:37:19.070 --> 00:37:19.570
Oh, yeah.
796
00:37:19.650 --> 00:37:21.739
Thank you for not trying to.
797
00:37:21.800 --> 00:37:24.280
His dad played his dad, but unlike every other dad
798
00:37:24.340 --> 00:37:27.559
in a sitcom, his dad hated him and was rooting
799
00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:28.300
for his demise.
800
00:37:28.380 --> 00:37:31.360
And yeah, it was incredible. There's a couple of things
801
00:37:31.780 --> 00:37:33.539
that I want to make sure I talk to you about.
802
00:37:33.699 --> 00:37:36.519
Your obsession with comedy or your interest in comedy goes
803
00:37:36.559 --> 00:37:37.639
way back to when you were a kid and you
804
00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:39.739
got to do something that I dreamed of doing but
805
00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:41.420
never got to do, which is you got to go
806
00:37:41.460 --> 00:37:44.769
to a live taping of Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. And
807
00:37:44.789 --> 00:37:47.250
that's something I never experienced. Can you tell me what
808
00:37:47.269 --> 00:37:49.170
that was like? Yes. I was 13.
809
00:37:49.170 --> 00:37:52.739
I had just been bar mitzvahed. And my brother Max
810
00:37:53.139 --> 00:37:56.679
had gone to spring break and been bumped three times.
811
00:37:57.860 --> 00:37:58.780
And back then in.
812
00:37:58.739 --> 00:38:01.820
The 19- From the audience. No, I'm sorry.
813
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:04.489
That made it sound like my brother Max was a
814
00:38:04.530 --> 00:38:06.789
guest on the Tonight Show with Carson.
815
00:38:06.829 --> 00:38:06.989
No.
816
00:38:07.510 --> 00:38:09.150
He had been bumped by the airline.
817
00:38:09.170 --> 00:38:09.570
Oh, I see.
818
00:38:09.670 --> 00:38:09.789
Okay.
819
00:38:09.809 --> 00:38:13.550
And flying on spring break. And, and so he had
820
00:38:13.590 --> 00:38:16.860
gotten these, these, uh, tickets. They were, they, I don't
821
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:18.699
know if they were round trip, but they afforded my
822
00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:21.619
mother and I to go to Los Angeles. My brother
823
00:38:21.639 --> 00:38:24.400
couldn't use them cause he was starting a job in Florida.
824
00:38:24.599 --> 00:38:26.059
So he gave them to us. We use them to
825
00:38:26.079 --> 00:38:29.059
go to Los Angeles, stayed with my cousin Della. We
826
00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:32.409
waited in line and got tickets to get into the,
827
00:38:32.440 --> 00:38:34.139
but I was 13. You had to be 16 to
828
00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:36.880
get into a live taping, but I was already five
829
00:38:36.880 --> 00:38:38.260
11 or six feet.
830
00:38:38.420 --> 00:38:38.579
Right.
831
00:38:38.699 --> 00:38:39.960
And so my mother said he's 16 and then.
832
00:38:41.139 --> 00:38:43.860
I got in and I said, oh my God, we
833
00:38:43.880 --> 00:38:44.159
made it.
834
00:38:44.360 --> 00:38:45.619
And then an.
835
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:47.760
Usher said, excuse me, how old are you? And my
836
00:38:47.889 --> 00:38:49.829
mother got right in her face and she said, do
837
00:38:49.869 --> 00:38:53.949
you think I would take a child into something as
838
00:38:53.989 --> 00:38:56.449
important as the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson?
839
00:38:56.469 --> 00:38:59.769
And my mother, I mean, the lying. God bless her.
840
00:38:59.889 --> 00:39:01.949
She really got in her face. I want your job.
841
00:39:02.030 --> 00:39:05.639
It'd be great if she got that kid fired and
842
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:07.760
ruined her life. She was so convincing. I felt like
843
00:39:07.780 --> 00:39:10.780
I was 16. I had just turned 13.
844
00:39:11.219 --> 00:39:13.800
And anyhow, it couldn't have been a better, first of all,
845
00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:16.880
Johnny did the monologue, and he screwed up one of
846
00:39:16.900 --> 00:39:19.739
the lines and retook it, and then when they went
847
00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:21.639
to break, he said, I really blew the shit out
848
00:39:21.679 --> 00:39:22.170
of that joke.
849
00:39:22.730 --> 00:39:24.869
And I said, oh my gosh, he swore. And you
850
00:39:25.010 --> 00:39:28.809
didn't hear Johnny Carson ever swear. Robert Smigel told me
851
00:39:28.829 --> 00:39:30.780
that he went to a taping of Johnny Carson and
852
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:33.900
Johnny Carson, when he knew it wouldn't, because it was pre-taped,
853
00:39:34.840 --> 00:39:36.840
said shit in front of the crowd and they went wild.
854
00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:40.239
Back then, the idea of someone that you knew on
855
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:45.710
TV that intimately saying the word shit was impossible. And
856
00:39:45.769 --> 00:39:48.210
so that must have been electrifying. It was electrifying.
857
00:39:48.389 --> 00:39:52.269
And then the guest was Carrie Fisher and Gary Shandling.
858
00:39:52.289 --> 00:39:56.610
Oh, my God. Yeah. So Princess Leia at her Leia-ist.
859
00:39:57.369 --> 00:40:01.110
And Gary at his Shandling-ist. Oh, my gosh.
860
00:40:01.289 --> 00:40:03.670
And then this comedian who I only knew from the
861
00:40:04.010 --> 00:40:04.670
Tonight Show.
862
00:40:05.269 --> 00:40:06.309
And he was so funny.
863
00:40:06.349 --> 00:40:08.989
And then he did this bit with, it wasn't a bit,
864
00:40:09.030 --> 00:40:10.730
I guess, but it came off as a bit with
865
00:40:10.769 --> 00:40:14.989
Carrie Fisher where he says, I know your parents, Debbie
866
00:40:15.010 --> 00:40:18.409
Reynolds and Eddie Fisher. Do you know my parents, Irv
867
00:40:18.469 --> 00:40:19.590
and Muriel Shanling?
868
00:40:21.389 --> 00:40:22.190
And I was in love.
869
00:40:22.409 --> 00:40:27.650
I was like, here's this guy who's Jewish, neurotic, and miserable,
870
00:40:28.010 --> 00:40:31.769
yet he's flirting with Carrie Fisher. And that was the
871
00:40:31.789 --> 00:40:34.710
thing that I always found so interesting about comedians. They
872
00:40:34.789 --> 00:40:37.550
really had nothing to speak of in terms of being
873
00:40:37.769 --> 00:40:41.150
attractive to women, but they had all this confidence in it.
874
00:40:41.210 --> 00:40:43.949
And it just really captured me at a very young age.
875
00:40:44.110 --> 00:40:45.840
I was like, that is the only way I'm ever
876
00:40:45.880 --> 00:40:49.079
going to get married is if I'm super funny like
877
00:40:49.139 --> 00:40:50.960
Shanling or somebody like that.
878
00:40:51.219 --> 00:40:55.119
All kids throughout history take an inventory early on. When
879
00:40:55.139 --> 00:40:57.320
I found out that I could make people laugh, thinking,
880
00:40:57.420 --> 00:41:00.840
all right, I've got this. I'm going to develop the
881
00:41:01.059 --> 00:41:03.260
fuck out of you.
882
00:41:03.300 --> 00:41:03.679
Yes.
883
00:41:04.030 --> 00:41:07.150
Mostly being interested in, I want that girl to like me.
884
00:41:07.409 --> 00:41:10.130
And then the big barrier is she's laughing really hard,
885
00:41:10.369 --> 00:41:12.210
but I see her going to the dance with that
886
00:41:12.329 --> 00:41:12.869
other guy.
887
00:41:12.909 --> 00:41:13.530
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
888
00:41:13.610 --> 00:41:19.280
He has no comedy, but he has... A developed body. Yeah.
889
00:41:20.219 --> 00:41:24.559
Who needs that? My shallow chest should be enough for anyone.
890
00:41:25.679 --> 00:41:34.590
My wasted legs? What's wrong with these? My 19th century cough?
891
00:41:34.659 --> 00:41:38.599
The little bits of pink... Pink foam from dissolving lung?
892
00:41:38.619 --> 00:41:40.820
What's wrong with that?
893
00:41:40.860 --> 00:41:43.820
Why are you saying those things, though?
894
00:41:45.179 --> 00:41:49.119
My dad took care of everyone but me. A brilliant
895
00:41:49.159 --> 00:41:53.000
scientist who never noticed that I was dying of consumption.
896
00:41:54.219 --> 00:41:55.449
You were the control experiment.
897
00:41:55.469 --> 00:41:56.630
I was the control experiment.
898
00:41:56.690 --> 00:42:00.610
I think consumption is my favorite old-timey disease because a
899
00:42:00.650 --> 00:42:03.150
lot of people go tuberculosis, but the people who are
900
00:42:03.210 --> 00:42:04.889
familiar go consumptions.
901
00:42:05.409 --> 00:42:10.250
Consumption. Also, it's true. You and I speak the exact
902
00:42:10.289 --> 00:42:12.900
same language. I like that people used to have stuff
903
00:42:12.920 --> 00:42:13.739
called the flux.
904
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:14.699
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
905
00:42:15.019 --> 00:42:18.239
Or they'd call you a lunger. Yeah, a lunger. If
906
00:42:18.280 --> 00:42:20.059
you had a lunger, if you had consumption, they'd call
907
00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:22.980
you a lunger. Yeah. But also, I love that when
908
00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:26.389
you got sick back then, they would apply a poultice.
909
00:42:27.110 --> 00:42:30.730
They would apply a mustard poultice to your chest, which
910
00:42:30.769 --> 00:42:35.480
basically means, you know, just covering your chest with mustard. Yeah, exactly.
911
00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:38.059
But they did it for like someone would get shot
912
00:42:38.099 --> 00:42:41.679
in the head. I believe when Lincoln was dying of
913
00:42:41.739 --> 00:42:45.320
a bullet, the size of an Oreo cookie in his brain,
914
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:53.360
they were like, apply a poultice. A mustard poultice will
915
00:42:53.460 --> 00:42:54.820
save the president.
916
00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:55.960
Did it work?
917
00:42:56.980 --> 00:43:00.179
Kind of. Because when he died, he smelled like a
918
00:43:00.260 --> 00:43:05.769
hot dog. And people weren't quite as sad. I'm sure
919
00:43:05.809 --> 00:43:08.889
there were other poultices. There was the mustard.
920
00:43:08.909 --> 00:43:18.780
I always talk about mustard. The remoulade poultice. The tapenade poultice.
921
00:43:19.679 --> 00:43:21.739
That way he doesn't pull through, but we have a dip.
922
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:24.800
We have a dipping sauce.
923
00:43:24.820 --> 00:43:28.400
No, at the end, after Lincoln died, everyone sat around
924
00:43:28.420 --> 00:43:32.320
and they were very sad. And Stuart said, now he
925
00:43:32.340 --> 00:43:35.500
belongs to the ages. And then somehow, someone produced a
926
00:43:35.539 --> 00:43:38.900
bag of tortilla chips. And they just started dipping into his,
927
00:43:39.539 --> 00:43:44.300
this stuff. A little salsa. They all just start crunching.
928
00:43:44.599 --> 00:43:47.400
Mary Lincoln comes in. What are you doing? Well, we
929
00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:52.769
can't let this go to waste. The coffin isn't here yet.
930
00:43:53.869 --> 00:43:55.510
I want to make sure I mention your book too.
931
00:43:55.670 --> 00:43:57.210
You've been busy. You have a new memoir.
932
00:43:57.250 --> 00:43:59.050
I didn't want to be a schnorrer, which is a
933
00:43:59.070 --> 00:43:59.949
Yiddish term meaning like.
934
00:44:00.349 --> 00:44:01.929
I learned that word from Groucho Marx.
935
00:44:02.199 --> 00:44:02.489
Okay.
936
00:44:02.760 --> 00:44:02.960
Yeah.
937
00:44:03.019 --> 00:44:05.380
He used to sing a song about being, I'm not
938
00:44:05.400 --> 00:44:09.719
a schnorrer, which I think was, yeah. Captain Spaulding, I
939
00:44:09.739 --> 00:44:12.000
think has the word schnorrer in it. My name is
940
00:44:12.039 --> 00:44:16.800
Captain Spaulding, the African explorer. I'm no schnorrer. All right.
941
00:44:16.820 --> 00:44:17.039
All right.
942
00:44:17.059 --> 00:44:19.630
All right. And I remember as a kid, as being
943
00:44:19.670 --> 00:44:22.309
a huge fan of the Marx brothers and thinking schnorrer,
944
00:44:22.429 --> 00:44:24.789
what's schnorrer? Yeah. And then someone explained it to me.
945
00:44:25.030 --> 00:44:27.909
Oh, that's a great feeling for a, Yiddish, well, a
946
00:44:27.949 --> 00:44:30.469
Jewish person who knows some Yiddish to explain it to
947
00:44:30.510 --> 00:44:33.710
somebody because when you show interest, we get very excited.
948
00:44:33.889 --> 00:44:39.250
Yeah. So Misfit, growing up awkward in the 80s, is
949
00:44:39.269 --> 00:44:40.010
your memoir.
950
00:44:40.250 --> 00:44:40.510
Yes.
951
00:44:40.760 --> 00:44:43.940
And was this cathartic for you? Because you've famously, you've
952
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:45.800
talked about it a lot. And I think, you know,
953
00:44:45.820 --> 00:44:48.260
people say, oh, it's brave. And it's like, well, it's
954
00:44:48.340 --> 00:44:51.039
great that you talk about your struggles with mental health.
955
00:44:51.340 --> 00:44:53.639
And I applaud that. But it's that you do it
956
00:44:54.260 --> 00:44:57.510
with so much empathy. And you do it so intelligently
957
00:44:57.630 --> 00:44:59.849
and you're funny about it. Oh, thanks. And I think
958
00:44:59.929 --> 00:45:04.469
that is a, man, that's a bomb. That's worth all
959
00:45:04.610 --> 00:45:05.809
the Prozac in the world.
960
00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:06.070
You know?
961
00:45:06.300 --> 00:45:09.980
I mean, it was something that I aspired to over
962
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.079
the years to finally get to a point where I
963
00:45:14.119 --> 00:45:18.099
was far enough away from it that, and also that
964
00:45:18.119 --> 00:45:22.260
it was sort of a success story of I overcame
965
00:45:22.300 --> 00:45:24.219
this because in the midst of it, I wasn't able
966
00:45:24.260 --> 00:45:27.880
to write about it. And also my brain wasn't working
967
00:45:27.900 --> 00:45:30.280
well enough and I didn't have enough confidence, but I
968
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:33.469
was so elated and grateful to be on the other
969
00:45:33.510 --> 00:45:37.650
side of my depression, which I was, I received ECT
970
00:45:38.110 --> 00:45:40.809
about four months before I did that. That abbreviating the
971
00:45:40.869 --> 00:45:41.570
states thing.
972
00:45:42.030 --> 00:45:42.369
Really?
973
00:45:42.510 --> 00:45:45.889
Yeah. ECT. Yeah, the electroconvulsive therapy.
974
00:45:46.199 --> 00:45:51.219
I was inpatient in Weill Cornell Hospital, New York Presbyterian
975
00:45:51.519 --> 00:45:54.539
in Manhattan. And you said one of the patients actually
976
00:45:54.820 --> 00:45:59.150
recognized you. Recognized me from TV. And yeah, he said,
977
00:45:59.170 --> 00:46:01.269
am I crazy? You can write an entire act.
978
00:46:01.349 --> 00:46:01.489
Both.
979
00:46:05.690 --> 00:46:11.550
Apparently both. You are crazy, but I'm getting that from context. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
980
00:46:12.289 --> 00:46:14.300
But it's not because you think I'm Gary Goleman, although I,
981
00:46:14.280 --> 00:46:18.119
I would say maybe shoot higher for who you're imagining.
982
00:46:20.719 --> 00:46:23.960
You can imagine anybody. So many people to aim for.
983
00:46:23.980 --> 00:46:24.059
Yeah.
984
00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:26.039
So, or yeah.
985
00:46:26.260 --> 00:46:29.889
And so anyhow, I, I was so grateful and I
986
00:46:29.949 --> 00:46:32.670
wanted to tell the story because I wanted to share
987
00:46:32.710 --> 00:46:35.369
that there's hope because the, that was one thing my
988
00:46:35.429 --> 00:46:37.409
doctor and my wife never gave up on me, but
989
00:46:37.449 --> 00:46:39.690
I gave up on myself many, many times. I kept
990
00:46:39.730 --> 00:46:43.050
going through the motions and trying new medicine and, and treatments.
991
00:46:43.070 --> 00:46:45.880
And ECT finally was the thing that worked in the
992
00:46:45.940 --> 00:46:48.679
hospitalization and it, and it, and it got me to
993
00:46:48.739 --> 00:46:50.780
a level that I had never experienced in my life.
994
00:46:50.840 --> 00:46:54.360
I had spent my entire life sort of working at 70, 75%,
995
00:46:54.360 --> 00:46:56.440
sometimes 80% if I could get some momentum and then
996
00:46:59.409 --> 00:47:01.070
it had kind of a cycle where I would be
997
00:47:01.110 --> 00:47:03.510
productive for nine months and then I would fall apart and,
998
00:47:03.820 --> 00:47:05.590
and have to start all over again. So it was
999
00:47:05.619 --> 00:47:09.500
very frustrating, but since I have been, uh, I guess
1000
00:47:09.519 --> 00:47:13.639
I would say in remission, that was probably October of 2017. I've,
1001
00:47:13.659 --> 00:47:19.199
I've had the, the, the most joy and, and experienced
1002
00:47:19.239 --> 00:47:22.320
life in a, in a way without the, the heaviness
1003
00:47:22.409 --> 00:47:26.429
and the fatigue that accompanied a lot of my depressive episodes.
1004
00:47:26.469 --> 00:47:27.309
So I'm so grateful.
1005
00:47:27.349 --> 00:47:30.400
So I was happy to share this story so that
1006
00:47:30.420 --> 00:47:32.699
it would give some people hope because what I didn't
1007
00:47:32.780 --> 00:47:35.429
realize is that people thought I used to think when
1008
00:47:35.550 --> 00:47:39.210
somebody famous would, would either commit suicide or, or come
1009
00:47:39.269 --> 00:47:41.489
out about being depressed, I would say, well, why would
1010
00:47:41.510 --> 00:47:44.130
that person be depressed? And I didn't realize that I
1011
00:47:44.170 --> 00:47:46.630
could be that for some people that some people would say, Oh,
1012
00:47:47.170 --> 00:47:50.659
if he can get depressed and then it's not, it's
1013
00:47:50.699 --> 00:47:54.159
not a matter of accomplishing something. It's a matter of chemistry.
1014
00:47:55.329 --> 00:47:57.530
And that's the thing that's very hard for people to
1015
00:47:57.570 --> 00:47:59.880
understand because the same thing you're trying to work with
1016
00:47:59.889 --> 00:48:02.019
is telling you this isn't chemistry.
1017
00:48:02.079 --> 00:48:06.739
It's you. You're lazy. You're dumb. You're untalented. So it
1018
00:48:06.780 --> 00:48:08.440
was important that I was able to get that story out.
1019
00:48:08.480 --> 00:48:09.840
I'm guilty of the same thing when I was a
1020
00:48:09.900 --> 00:48:12.619
kid or even well into my teens and 20s when
1021
00:48:12.639 --> 00:48:16.000
I would hear about a brilliant author or just a
1022
00:48:16.019 --> 00:48:19.739
performer I loved or anyone getting really depressed. And I
1023
00:48:19.739 --> 00:48:20.960
would think, but I don't understand.
1024
00:48:21.019 --> 00:48:21.219
Yeah.
1025
00:48:21.929 --> 00:48:22.329
Elvis?
1026
00:48:22.570 --> 00:48:27.679
Yeah. Why would Elvis be depressed? Why would anyone who
1027
00:48:27.719 --> 00:48:31.480
has that be depressed? And then as you go through life,
1028
00:48:32.179 --> 00:48:40.099
you realize that material things, success or getting recognized, it's nice,
1029
00:48:40.840 --> 00:48:45.940
but it is really true that it doesn't have anything
1030
00:48:45.980 --> 00:48:48.460
to do with your brain chemistry. And sometimes it can
1031
00:48:48.500 --> 00:48:51.739
exacerbate it and make it feel worse. Like, oh my God,
1032
00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:52.559
I have this.
1033
00:48:52.579 --> 00:48:54.440
This was supposed to be the thing that made me
1034
00:48:54.460 --> 00:48:55.440
feel good about myself.
1035
00:48:55.539 --> 00:48:58.280
Yeah. So many people get into comedy or get into
1036
00:48:58.659 --> 00:49:01.780
this business because they think once I get that and
1037
00:49:01.800 --> 00:49:04.599
everyone knows who I am and I'm driving a car
1038
00:49:04.619 --> 00:49:08.090
that looks like that, then all my problems will be over.
1039
00:49:08.159 --> 00:49:12.570
And when it doesn't happen, rage. Painful. Rage.
1040
00:49:12.909 --> 00:49:13.150
Yeah.
1041
00:49:13.570 --> 00:49:17.340
And I'm talking about myself. But it was- Made mostly
1042
00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:18.369
that the car isn't nicer.
1043
00:49:18.829 --> 00:49:19.469
Oh, well.
1044
00:49:20.050 --> 00:49:20.210
Okay.
1045
00:49:20.230 --> 00:49:23.230
I mean, come on. Tesla's nice, but I want a Bugatti.
1046
00:49:23.989 --> 00:49:26.769
And I never got one.
1047
00:49:27.110 --> 00:49:33.760
And that fucking sled sprawled out, but it's not mine.
1048
00:49:33.900 --> 00:49:35.440
Did the toboggan have a name?
1049
00:49:35.460 --> 00:49:37.440
Yeah, exactly.
1050
00:49:37.639 --> 00:49:41.639
When I die, I'm just going to say toboggan. I'll
1051
00:49:41.659 --> 00:49:46.090
be like, all these reporters will be scattered. Yeah, toboggan. Yeah, whatever.
1052
00:49:46.210 --> 00:49:53.159
Glide right. You are, well, I'll just say it again.
1053
00:49:53.440 --> 00:49:56.219
Pleasure to know you. Oh, that's so nice to hear.
1054
00:49:56.239 --> 00:49:56.880
I feel the same way.
1055
00:49:56.920 --> 00:49:58.039
You've brought me so much joy.
1056
00:49:58.059 --> 00:50:03.360
I really admire you because you're such a highly intelligent
1057
00:50:03.489 --> 00:50:07.820
and empathetic comedian and you do such beautiful work. You've
1058
00:50:07.840 --> 00:50:10.400
been through a lot, which makes me sad. But also,
1059
00:50:11.559 --> 00:50:14.059
you've come through the other side. And you're very honest
1060
00:50:14.119 --> 00:50:15.199
about it. I think it's going to help a lot
1061
00:50:15.239 --> 00:50:18.219
of people. But mostly, if I didn't know any of this,
1062
00:50:18.320 --> 00:50:21.409
I watch these specials. I watch your comedy. Every time
1063
00:50:21.429 --> 00:50:24.590
I've seen you perform, I think, man, that guy is
1064
00:50:24.670 --> 00:50:27.849
so gifted. He thinks so differently than everyone else. And
1065
00:50:28.510 --> 00:50:31.489
everything is so crafted and beautifully done, the work that
1066
00:50:31.510 --> 00:50:34.239
goes into it. So thank you. What you do is,
1067
00:50:34.480 --> 00:50:36.019
as they always say, a mitzvah.
1068
00:50:37.429 --> 00:50:40.760
I'm pinching myself because that means so much to me,
1069
00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:42.860
but also, and this was one of the things I
1070
00:50:42.900 --> 00:50:45.940
wanted to mention, just the exposure you gave me on
1071
00:50:45.980 --> 00:50:48.780
that show all those times was, I mean, it changed
1072
00:50:48.840 --> 00:50:51.280
my life and it gave me a touring career. So
1073
00:50:51.400 --> 00:50:55.210
I'm so grateful for what you've brought to me, even
1074
00:50:55.250 --> 00:50:57.030
before I was on the show, just the joy and
1075
00:50:57.070 --> 00:51:00.429
knowing that, oh, there are other people who find this funny.
1076
00:51:00.570 --> 00:51:03.030
And I thought it was just. Well, we found each other.
1077
00:51:03.050 --> 00:51:03.389
Yeah.
1078
00:51:03.550 --> 00:51:08.789
And now we're two gangly depressed guys. From Massachusetts, who
1079
00:51:08.849 --> 00:51:12.039
know each other. Who love to read. Who love to read. Yay, us.
1080
00:51:12.340 --> 00:51:15.559
There aren't enough. Hey, Gary. Thank you. God bless. Thank you.
1081
00:51:15.579 --> 00:51:16.860
This was so wonderful. And we'll see you again.
1082
00:51:16.880 --> 00:51:17.400
Thank you.
1083
00:51:27.789 --> 00:51:31.550
Good nights are about the people. The laughs. The real
1084
00:51:31.590 --> 00:51:34.789
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1108
00:52:42.750 --> 00:52:43.469
See 3.ie. Unbelievable.
1109
00:52:43.670 --> 00:52:44.909
Unbelievable.
1110
00:52:51.260 --> 00:52:53.010
We haven't done a State of the Podcast in a while,
1111
00:52:53.050 --> 00:52:55.030
and I think it's important for the State of the
1112
00:52:55.050 --> 00:52:56.869
Podcast that we do a State of the Podcast.
1113
00:52:57.309 --> 00:52:58.769
I'd be convinced if you had just said State of
1114
00:52:58.789 --> 00:53:02.150
the Podcast one more time. But I agree. I think
1115
00:53:02.269 --> 00:53:04.449
we should take stock. You know, how are we doing?
1116
00:53:04.489 --> 00:53:08.340
And I think also self-criticism is very valuable. It's good
1117
00:53:08.380 --> 00:53:10.579
for us to really kick the tires on this thing
1118
00:53:10.619 --> 00:53:14.260
and make sure that we're living up to people's expectations.
1119
00:53:14.670 --> 00:53:15.309
How do we proceed?
1120
00:53:15.550 --> 00:53:17.800
Well, as we always do, we bring in Adam Sachs.
1121
00:53:18.010 --> 00:53:18.889
He runs this place.
1122
00:53:18.909 --> 00:53:20.380
He makes it happen. He makes it work.
1123
00:53:20.420 --> 00:53:22.840
He does the dance that keeps the floor thumping.
1124
00:53:23.139 --> 00:53:27.380
Yeah. So, Adam. Awful. Where are we? Awful. Awful monologue. Wasn't.
1125
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:28.119
Yeah.
1126
00:53:28.380 --> 00:53:30.190
So, stay to the podcast. I brought some notes with me.
1127
00:53:30.199 --> 00:53:31.119
We are five years in.
1128
00:53:31.760 --> 00:53:33.039
It's five years now.
1129
00:53:33.119 --> 00:53:36.679
November 19th, 2018 was our first episode. The release of
1130
00:53:36.739 --> 00:53:37.420
our first episode.
1131
00:53:37.619 --> 00:53:38.119
Will Ferrell.
1132
00:53:38.780 --> 00:53:39.820
So, we are five years in.
1133
00:53:40.440 --> 00:53:40.880
Over 400 episodes.
1134
00:53:42.469 --> 00:53:42.710
Wow.
1135
00:53:42.789 --> 00:53:44.090
Are we over 400 episodes?
1136
00:53:44.349 --> 00:53:47.130
I believe that's right if we count the fan episodes
1137
00:53:47.150 --> 00:53:47.469
in our interview.
1138
00:53:47.489 --> 00:53:48.909
Which we do. Those are important.
1139
00:53:48.929 --> 00:53:49.130
Yeah.
1140
00:53:49.289 --> 00:53:52.369
So over 400 episodes. And we're actually seeing growth still,
1141
00:53:52.489 --> 00:53:53.889
which is pretty amazing.
1142
00:53:53.929 --> 00:53:54.670
Still seeing growth.
1143
00:53:54.690 --> 00:53:54.909
Yes.
1144
00:53:55.429 --> 00:53:58.690
So people have been listening to this and more people
1145
00:53:58.750 --> 00:53:59.559
are still showing up.
1146
00:53:59.610 --> 00:54:02.989
More people are showing up. And because the catalog is
1147
00:54:03.030 --> 00:54:06.340
so evergreen, you know, the episodes that we recorded five
1148
00:54:06.360 --> 00:54:10.010
years ago still hold up. uh, people show up and
1149
00:54:10.030 --> 00:54:12.750
then they go back and they listen to the back catalog.
1150
00:54:12.789 --> 00:54:15.710
So on a given month, we get 40% of our
1151
00:54:15.750 --> 00:54:17.650
listens happening on old episodes.
1152
00:54:17.849 --> 00:54:19.769
People are telling friends, but in a good way.
1153
00:54:20.070 --> 00:54:20.309
Yeah.
1154
00:54:20.530 --> 00:54:21.190
They're in a good way.
1155
00:54:21.349 --> 00:54:24.090
That's my first experience with that in show business. My
1156
00:54:24.130 --> 00:54:26.489
previous career was, you got to check this guy out.
1157
00:54:26.530 --> 00:54:27.409
They warning people.
1158
00:54:27.489 --> 00:54:31.320
Yeah. Uh, so that you don't accidentally stumble on him.
1159
00:54:31.340 --> 00:54:34.920
You need to know. No, but that's, I mean, all
1160
00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:38.420
kidding aside, that's very exciting. I will say that we
1161
00:54:38.440 --> 00:54:40.900
made this decision to try and, and it's also just
1162
00:54:41.119 --> 00:54:44.219
naturally the kind of comedy I like, but we're not
1163
00:54:44.260 --> 00:54:47.780
always talking about the day's events. And in fact, anytime
1164
00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:50.650
a guest starts to say, isn't it funny that today
1165
00:54:50.690 --> 00:54:54.650
in the news, I reach over the table and slap them. Yeah.
1166
00:54:54.789 --> 00:54:58.409
There's also, we're, We're still getting like crazy, amazing guests
1167
00:54:58.449 --> 00:55:00.650
that are coming on for the first time. Even recently,
1168
00:55:00.670 --> 00:55:05.860
we've had Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harrison Ford, Steve Martin, Sir Paul McCartney,
1169
00:55:06.039 --> 00:55:06.840
Kelly Clarkson.
1170
00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:09.119
You know what's great? Schwarzenegger, we didn't even invite him.
1171
00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:11.599
And we tried to keep him out of the building.
1172
00:55:11.639 --> 00:55:14.300
He's like, I'm coming in. You know what I'm saying?
1173
00:55:14.739 --> 00:55:17.960
And we, remember? And I said, no, no, we're here.
1174
00:55:17.980 --> 00:55:20.139
We're talking to Ted Dance. He's like, it's now. It's
1175
00:55:20.159 --> 00:55:23.360
going to be me. And he smashed his way through.
1176
00:55:23.380 --> 00:55:23.460
Yeah.
1177
00:55:25.570 --> 00:55:29.210
Sorry, did you need more from me?
1178
00:55:29.230 --> 00:55:31.090
No, you're giving me what you always give me.
1179
00:55:31.349 --> 00:55:34.239
You know, I just have so much to add to this.
1180
00:55:38.690 --> 00:55:39.210
Okay.
1181
00:55:39.269 --> 00:55:40.690
And the other thing I wanted to bring up, which
1182
00:55:40.730 --> 00:55:43.190
is interesting, is the industry has evolved. If we look
1183
00:55:43.230 --> 00:55:46.219
back five years, if you think about the advertisers we
1184
00:55:46.260 --> 00:55:48.840
had at the beginning, it was mostly what are called
1185
00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:54.400
direct response advertisers, DR advertisers, where oftentimes they're like digital advertisers.
1186
00:55:55.380 --> 00:55:58.380
You know, Fracture Prince was a good example. Remember the backscratcher?
1187
00:55:58.400 --> 00:55:59.039
Oh, I miss Fracture.
1188
00:55:59.059 --> 00:55:59.219
Yes.
1189
00:55:59.340 --> 00:56:01.929
And they have an offer code, right? Offer code Conan,
1190
00:56:01.989 --> 00:56:04.429
or you go to this specific URL, and that's how
1191
00:56:04.449 --> 00:56:07.150
they know If the ad is working, it's attribution.
1192
00:56:07.190 --> 00:56:08.590
So we've grown out of that now.
1193
00:56:08.650 --> 00:56:10.429
We still have plenty of them, but we've, we've got,
1194
00:56:10.449 --> 00:56:12.130
we've gotten into more brands, big brands.
1195
00:56:12.150 --> 00:56:16.000
And that's, and that's, I think. Listen, I, I like that, uh,
1196
00:56:16.159 --> 00:56:18.380
things are moving in the right direction, but sometimes you're
1197
00:56:18.400 --> 00:56:21.079
the victim of your success. And I will say, I miss,
1198
00:56:21.420 --> 00:56:23.480
I mean, fracture. That was a great company.
1199
00:56:23.519 --> 00:56:24.360
Do they still exist?
1200
00:56:25.199 --> 00:56:26.920
Uh, yes, no, no, no, they do.
1201
00:56:27.059 --> 00:56:29.219
But you know, for Conan's 60th birthday, I got him
1202
00:56:29.260 --> 00:56:31.030
a fracture print.
1203
00:56:31.070 --> 00:56:35.170
Can we just edit that? So it's 40th. Uh, And anyway...
1204
00:56:34.789 --> 00:56:42.679
We're the same age. But you know, it's... Thank you. No,
1205
00:56:43.719 --> 00:56:46.179
it's fun being... Well, I guess I'm 41 now. There's
1206
00:56:46.199 --> 00:56:48.219
a thing that can happen sometimes in life where, yes,
1207
00:56:48.260 --> 00:56:51.480
you've had good fortune, but you miss that old little
1208
00:56:51.539 --> 00:56:54.289
apartment you used to live in. Remember where the shower
1209
00:56:54.309 --> 00:56:56.809
didn't quite work, but boy, did we have good times
1210
00:56:56.869 --> 00:56:58.610
in that old little... And that's how I think of
1211
00:56:58.650 --> 00:56:59.809
the fracture print ads.
1212
00:56:59.869 --> 00:57:01.949
Well, it's funny you say that because the brand... So
1213
00:57:01.989 --> 00:57:03.289
now we have a lot of brand advertisers.
1214
00:57:03.309 --> 00:57:03.590
We have.
1215
00:57:04.050 --> 00:57:06.559
You know, Miller Lite, Chevy, these big brands that don't.
1216
00:57:06.429 --> 00:57:08.099
Have- And by the way, those are terrific products.
1217
00:57:08.119 --> 00:57:14.219
They're fantastic. But brand advertisers, so direct response advertisers don't necessarily,
1218
00:57:14.239 --> 00:57:16.719
they're not that sensitive about the content that they're advertising on.
1219
00:57:16.739 --> 00:57:19.309
They just, for the most part, care that the ad works.
1220
00:57:19.349 --> 00:57:21.690
They want the ROI, the return on the investment. Do
1221
00:57:21.730 --> 00:57:24.989
you ever speak normally? I'm getting somewhere.
1222
00:57:25.010 --> 00:57:26.150
Is this what it's like in the bedroom?
1223
00:57:27.309 --> 00:57:31.690
But brand advertisers really care about associating with talent, right?
1224
00:57:31.769 --> 00:57:34.170
And so what they have been doing more and more
1225
00:57:34.210 --> 00:57:37.789
is brand safety analysis. And I actually brought some brand
1226
00:57:37.809 --> 00:57:39.889
safety analysis for Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
1227
00:57:40.090 --> 00:57:42.050
Boy, you're fun at a holiday party. Here's my question, though.
1228
00:57:42.110 --> 00:57:45.250
Because he was on television for like 20 years before
1229
00:57:45.309 --> 00:57:45.969
the podcast.
1230
00:57:46.349 --> 00:57:47.750
That brand wasn't enough.
1231
00:57:47.789 --> 00:57:50.730
Well, that's a good question. So you can see how
1232
00:57:50.750 --> 00:57:52.239
we rank here.
1233
00:57:52.260 --> 00:57:58.360
Thanks, Sona. This is funny. All right. So this is.
1234
00:57:59.340 --> 00:58:01.659
I think this is mostly.
1235
00:58:01.780 --> 00:58:04.119
What is this now? Can you take a second and
1236
00:58:04.159 --> 00:58:04.849
explain what this is?
1237
00:58:04.860 --> 00:58:07.860
This is our brand safety analysis that's done, I think,
1238
00:58:07.920 --> 00:58:11.239
primarily by like AI and transcription. So transcription is done
1239
00:58:11.300 --> 00:58:15.460
on the podcast and then some algorithm decides how brand safe.
1240
00:58:15.800 --> 00:58:16.780
The show is real.
1241
00:58:16.949 --> 00:58:17.909
This is real.
1242
00:58:17.949 --> 00:58:21.789
These are real ratings on the show. And so brand advertisers,
1243
00:58:21.829 --> 00:58:23.809
when they're deciding whether they want to advertise on a
1244
00:58:23.829 --> 00:58:26.610
specific podcast, will look at these ratings and decide if
1245
00:58:26.710 --> 00:58:30.389
the show is safe for them to be associated with. OK.
1246
00:58:30.789 --> 00:58:34.670
All right. So medium adult sexual explicit content.
1247
00:58:35.389 --> 00:58:36.230
That seems low.
1248
00:58:36.449 --> 00:58:39.389
That seems very low. We talk a lot.
1249
00:58:39.170 --> 00:58:40.570
About dicks and stuff.
1250
00:58:40.730 --> 00:58:43.090
Oh, but down here, obscenity and profanity, it's in the
1251
00:58:43.150 --> 00:58:46.130
red for 83% and 71% high risk.
1252
00:58:46.380 --> 00:58:46.610
Yeah.
1253
00:58:46.969 --> 00:58:50.039
So we're killing it with obscenity and profanity.
1254
00:58:50.079 --> 00:58:52.000
Maybe this is just all our clinical talk.
1255
00:58:52.039 --> 00:58:52.800
You know what I don't like?
1256
00:58:52.840 --> 00:58:53.159
Hate speech.
1257
00:58:53.199 --> 00:58:53.619
Hate speech.
1258
00:58:53.619 --> 00:58:53.659
7%.
1259
00:58:53.659 --> 00:58:53.889
That's you.
1260
00:58:53.900 --> 00:58:54.679
Acts of aggression.
1261
00:58:59.059 --> 00:58:59.619
That's you.
1262
00:58:59.639 --> 00:59:02.300
Oh, acts of aggression. That's you. I don't like, because
1263
00:59:02.539 --> 00:59:05.570
there's no hate speech here, but there is me routinely
1264
00:59:05.650 --> 00:59:07.269
trying to take a swat at somebody.
1265
00:59:07.289 --> 00:59:09.929
You're also crime and violence because you say the word murder.
1266
00:59:10.460 --> 00:59:13.019
On a regular basis yeah i mean you're 11 high
1267
00:59:13.059 --> 00:59:16.059
risk wait a minute military conflict do you want to.
1268
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:18.380
Just run down what the sheet says to give us
1269
00:59:18.400 --> 00:59:19.840
kind of an overview.
1270
00:59:19.539 --> 00:59:23.090
Well uh adult and sexual explicit content four percent alcohol
1271
00:59:23.170 --> 00:59:26.969
two percent these are risks high risk zero suitability Crime
1272
00:59:27.030 --> 00:59:31.420
and violence, 12%. Wow. Death or injury, 3%. Relatively low.
1273
00:59:31.429 --> 00:59:33.389
Remember one time we did a segment about robbing a
1274
00:59:33.449 --> 00:59:35.969
bank and what would our masks be? So things like
1275
00:59:36.010 --> 00:59:36.909
that are factored in.
1276
00:59:37.050 --> 00:59:37.980
Okay.
1277
00:59:38.019 --> 00:59:41.179
Death or injury, 3%. Epidemic, 3%. Hate speech and acts
1278
00:59:41.219 --> 00:59:45.699
of aggression, 7%. It's a little high for me. Illegal drugs, 1%.
1279
00:59:45.699 --> 00:59:47.079
We don't really talk about drugs a lot.
1280
00:59:47.280 --> 00:59:47.860
Yeah, we do.
1281
00:59:48.260 --> 00:59:49.179
Yeah, we do.
1282
00:59:49.260 --> 00:59:52.159
Well, they're not illegal. Everything you do is legal.
1283
00:59:52.340 --> 00:59:53.159
Yeah, that's true.
1284
00:59:54.019 --> 01:00:04.539
Obscenity and profanity, 83%. Jesus. Fuck, that's a high number. Fuck. Tobacco, e-cigarettes, vaping, 0%.
1285
01:00:04.539 --> 01:00:06.219
Well, now it's going to be in there, though.
1286
01:00:06.239 --> 01:00:07.099
Will it factor this in?
1287
01:00:07.099 --> 01:00:08.099
Oh, yeah, now it's going to be in there.
1288
01:00:08.119 --> 01:00:12.059
Look at this. This is a category? Violation of human rights.
1289
01:00:12.500 --> 01:00:14.079
Oh, that's just us working for you.
1290
01:00:14.280 --> 01:00:18.280
Yeah, that's you. It's a violation of human rights to
1291
01:00:18.320 --> 01:00:20.440
work here, and that's 1%.
1292
01:00:20.440 --> 01:00:22.500
I don't understand military conflict.
1293
01:00:22.690 --> 01:00:23.809
Yeah, what is military conflict?
1294
01:00:23.829 --> 01:00:26.389
Well, we talk about World War II comes up quite
1295
01:00:26.530 --> 01:00:29.469
a bit. The term Nazi will pop up every once
1296
01:00:29.530 --> 01:00:30.159
in a while.
1297
01:00:30.559 --> 01:00:32.340
I think it's, I think it is like just talking
1298
01:00:32.360 --> 01:00:33.420
about World War II.
1299
01:00:33.440 --> 01:00:37.119
Basically World War II facts, trivia, Stalin comes up a lot.
1300
01:00:37.340 --> 01:00:39.679
But is this a concern that us discussing these things
1301
01:00:39.719 --> 01:00:41.219
right now will bump these numbers up?
1302
01:00:41.409 --> 01:00:42.090
I hadn't thought of it.
1303
01:00:42.090 --> 01:00:43.590
And then next year when we do this again, it
1304
01:00:43.610 --> 01:00:44.530
will compound.
1305
01:00:44.789 --> 01:00:45.230
I think so.
1306
01:00:45.329 --> 01:00:47.090
Boobies, boobies.
1307
01:00:47.110 --> 01:00:47.690
Nazi.
1308
01:00:47.710 --> 01:00:48.369
But I think so.
1309
01:00:48.389 --> 01:00:51.349
The truth is like, this is more, Sona made a really,
1310
01:00:51.730 --> 01:00:54.079
really important point, which is like you were on TV for,
1311
01:00:54.079 --> 01:00:57.500
28 years. Your brand is established.
1312
01:00:57.539 --> 01:00:57.760
Yes.
1313
01:00:57.780 --> 01:00:59.420
You had advertisers on that show.
1314
01:00:59.579 --> 01:00:59.880
Yes, I did.
1315
01:00:59.900 --> 01:01:02.679
So it was a brand safe show, your brand safe talent.
1316
01:01:03.000 --> 01:01:05.940
This really is more done for talent that is maybe
1317
01:01:06.199 --> 01:01:09.699
lesser known to advertisers when they're making the decision if
1318
01:01:09.739 --> 01:01:11.869
they want to advertise on a specific show.
1319
01:01:12.130 --> 01:01:12.369
I see.
1320
01:01:12.489 --> 01:01:14.030
But I did think that you would just find it
1321
01:01:14.230 --> 01:01:15.449
interesting that we're being.
1322
01:01:15.369 --> 01:01:17.530
Analyzed right now. What do you take away from this?
1323
01:01:17.929 --> 01:01:21.309
I actually take away that there is a high sensitivity
1324
01:01:21.329 --> 01:01:24.340
among advertisers advertisers now higher than ever, it seems to
1325
01:01:24.380 --> 01:01:28.480
be associated with brand safe content. So I think for us,
1326
01:01:28.820 --> 01:01:33.099
we should just be monitoring your language, primarily everyone's language here.
1327
01:01:33.440 --> 01:01:36.199
And thinking of these categories every time we go into
1328
01:01:36.239 --> 01:01:37.340
an interview or do a segment.
1329
01:01:37.449 --> 01:01:40.929
No, but I'm told not to do something. I just
1330
01:01:40.969 --> 01:01:41.849
want to do it more.
1331
01:01:42.170 --> 01:01:45.429
Adam, you're coming dangerously close to being the man censoring this.
1332
01:01:45.889 --> 01:01:47.030
the artist here, so.
1333
01:01:47.070 --> 01:01:50.269
Also, I don't think I use profanity. I mean, cockaroo,
1334
01:01:50.409 --> 01:01:52.170
is that really profanity?
1335
01:01:52.190 --> 01:01:52.989
I don't know.
1336
01:01:57.250 --> 01:01:59.690
I love that answer. I love the way you said it.
1337
01:01:59.889 --> 01:02:00.219
I don't know.
1338
01:02:00.440 --> 01:02:03.860
Well, there was talk of gerbils. It's all kind of
1339
01:02:03.880 --> 01:02:04.059
a hidden.
1340
01:02:04.079 --> 01:02:05.880
Not unless you really get into what it's all about.
1341
01:02:05.940 --> 01:02:06.719
It's obscene and profane.
1342
01:02:06.800 --> 01:02:08.840
I don't think this thing understands context either.
1343
01:02:08.860 --> 01:02:12.199
Yeah, it doesn't understand context. So talk of gerbils is
1344
01:02:12.320 --> 01:02:14.380
quite a lot. That could be a children's story.
1345
01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:14.559
Correct.
1346
01:02:14.800 --> 01:02:16.380
But it could be.
1347
01:02:16.380 --> 01:02:19.500
It might take gerbils and think Joseph gerbils and make
1348
01:02:19.519 --> 01:02:20.360
it a Nazi thing.
1349
01:02:20.579 --> 01:02:21.579
No, that's gerbils.
1350
01:02:21.900 --> 01:02:24.139
Well, it's written in a transcript.
1351
01:02:24.179 --> 01:02:26.619
It doesn't know. It does. It knows the difference. They're
1352
01:02:26.639 --> 01:02:30.860
spelled completely differently. It's ridiculous. I think the state of
1353
01:02:30.900 --> 01:02:33.139
the conflict. I think the state of the show.
1354
01:02:33.260 --> 01:02:35.420
Our numbers are going up on military conflict.
1355
01:02:36.599 --> 01:02:38.699
I think the show is doing well. It's doing great.
1356
01:02:38.719 --> 01:02:42.780
We are marching forward. We're like the allies pushing in
1357
01:02:44.460 --> 01:02:50.829
to France. We're pushing forward. We're moving our way.
1358
01:02:50.840 --> 01:02:54.329
We're penetrating that hole.
1359
01:02:54.590 --> 01:02:56.349
We're having sex with the other army.
1360
01:02:57.989 --> 01:03:03.030
Listen, don't ruin a good thing. I'm pleased. I do
1361
01:03:03.070 --> 01:03:05.650
nothing but say I have gratitude that we've been doing
1362
01:03:05.690 --> 01:03:07.730
this for five years. I've been having a very good time.
1363
01:03:07.750 --> 01:03:10.650
I love doing this with you people. I've got to
1364
01:03:10.670 --> 01:03:14.449
learn your names. And I think we should maybe tone
1365
01:03:14.489 --> 01:03:16.639
down the pee-pee-poo-poo a little bit.
1366
01:03:16.820 --> 01:03:18.059
You got it, cockface.
1367
01:03:18.800 --> 01:03:22.760
But I do want us to keep getting more and
1368
01:03:22.800 --> 01:03:30.480
more brand friendly. LAUGHTER I really do. I want to
1369
01:03:30.519 --> 01:03:33.710
just keep chiseling away. But Pee Pee and Poo Poo
1370
01:03:33.769 --> 01:03:34.590
is what we are.
1371
01:03:34.610 --> 01:03:36.230
That's who we are as people.
1372
01:03:36.750 --> 01:03:38.500
What a wonderful story this is.
1373
01:03:39.440 --> 01:03:41.860
No, but that's just who we are.
1374
01:03:41.880 --> 01:03:44.000
I feel like you're telling us to change ourselves.
1375
01:03:44.019 --> 01:03:46.820
I'd like the Hallmark Channel to one day advertise with us.
1376
01:03:47.099 --> 01:03:50.800
And I think to get that, and probably also Disneyland.
1377
01:03:51.010 --> 01:03:52.929
So to get those kind of brands, those are the
1378
01:03:52.989 --> 01:03:55.429
ones I really want. We need to really shape it up.
1379
01:03:55.650 --> 01:03:57.570
I think we definitely need to check back in. We
1380
01:03:57.610 --> 01:04:00.150
need to do quarterly State of the Podcast and see
1381
01:04:00.190 --> 01:04:00.989
the trend.
1382
01:04:00.710 --> 01:04:01.369
Of the numbers.
1383
01:04:01.429 --> 01:04:04.050
Can we do that?
1384
01:04:04.050 --> 01:04:04.360
83%.
1385
01:04:04.360 --> 01:04:04.949
That's high.
1386
01:04:05.090 --> 01:04:05.679
It's red.
1387
01:04:05.679 --> 01:04:09.369
83% obscenity and profanity. Let's get that number down. And
1388
01:04:09.389 --> 01:04:15.679
let's get violation of human rights way up. I don't
1389
01:04:15.699 --> 01:04:16.699
know how, but we will.
1390
01:04:17.820 --> 01:04:21.739
Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian,
1391
01:04:22.000 --> 01:04:25.699
and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
1392
01:04:25.739 --> 01:04:29.059
by Adam Sachs, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco,
1393
01:04:29.300 --> 01:04:32.900
and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song
1394
01:04:32.920 --> 01:04:33.760
by The White Stripes.
1395
01:04:34.400 --> 01:04:36.079
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
1396
01:04:36.420 --> 01:04:37.099
Take it away, Jimmy.
1397
01:04:40.219 --> 01:04:43.230
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent
1398
01:04:43.250 --> 01:04:47.730
producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production
1399
01:04:47.750 --> 01:04:51.840
support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista,
1400
01:04:52.099 --> 01:04:54.679
and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show
1401
01:04:54.739 --> 01:04:57.380
on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read
1402
01:04:57.500 --> 01:05:00.139
on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call
1403
01:05:00.159 --> 01:05:05.090
the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.
1404
01:05:05.409 --> 01:05:07.690
It too could be featured on a future episode. And
1405
01:05:07.730 --> 01:05:10.510
if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs
1406
01:05:10.550 --> 01:05:13.239
a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
1407
01:05:29.199 --> 01:05:32.079
Good nights are about the people. The laughs.
1408
01:05:32.579 --> 01:05:35.360
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