00:00:00
Speaker 1: Contributor to good mental health, that being good sexual health. She'll explain all that that's coming up in our second hour a little later this.
00:00:10
Speaker 2: Hour, political journalist and radio host abdulah Team Shabbaz.
00:00:14
Speaker 1: Yes, Abdul is going to be he's with our sister States. He's with the station group and we we talk, you know, we have conversations, and so he's gonna he's gonna be sitting in and joining us. He'll have the latest on what happened at that contentious GOP state convention this week. I know, but he was right there. He had a front row seat. So yeah, it was a convention that saw the party faithful give the boot to incumbent Secretary of State Diego Morales. So that's about thirty minutes from now. He'll be here shortly, y'all.
00:00:54
Speaker 2: Old Diego got the boot, He got the boots.
00:00:57
Speaker 1: I don't know where he's going and he you know, but he yeah, they said you are not welcome here, no more in the club.
00:01:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yet he could still run again. Oh yeah, he probably will.
00:01:07
Speaker 2: I'm sure he's not.
00:01:10
Speaker 1: You if he were, and maybe he will. Maybe Abdul has some intel on that.
00:01:15
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:01:15
Speaker 3: That's possible, but.
00:01:18
Speaker 1: I would think that if he was suspending his campaign, it would have been news.
00:01:23
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's staying the course for right now.
00:01:27
Speaker 1: Speaking right now, the Indianapolis Urban League is right now hosting their annual Equal Opportunity Day luncheon at the Indiana Convention Center. Their keynote speaker is national voting rights advocate and former Georgia politician Stacy Abrams Eric And like I said, that's underway now. I was down there earlier to talk to Stacy Abrams with other members of the media down at the Indiana Convention Center. I wasn't able to stay for the for her presentation and for the line because I had to be back here for the show.
00:02:02
Speaker 2: But wow, she's she's very impressive.
00:02:07
Speaker 3: Absolutely so. I have heard her speak, not in person, but she is most definitely she's she's.
00:02:14
Speaker 2: And you know, we were.
00:02:15
Speaker 1: You know, when I was staying, I thought I was tall, and I am to a degree. I guess it depends, although I'm not so tall anymore because maybe the average woman now is five ten.
00:02:25
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:02:26
Speaker 3: And you're taken to a fact take into account the basketball.
00:02:29
Speaker 1: Players, yeah, they are, some of them, they're messing with the averages too. Well they are, yeah, but anyway, she was. She was a lot taller than what. I don't know why I thought she was going to be very short.
00:02:41
Speaker 2: She's a lot taller.
00:02:42
Speaker 3: You know, TV gives that effect. They can give that a fact or video. It's like, oh they're not that tall. Sometimes much taller than you think.
00:02:49
Speaker 1: And incredibly incredibly accommodating. I mean, she could not have been nicer, could not have been friends of loss and you and I have done this long enough to know, and I think that it's no secret we could share. You have to roll the dice when you're meeting celebrities, people in the public eye or what have you, because some of them are just going to be absolutely a pleasure and a joy. Others, you know, you can't wait to get away from.
00:03:15
Speaker 3: That's so true.
00:03:16
Speaker 2: She both We have both.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've had both, and it's it's been unfortunate because you know, kind of like people that you've known and seen whatever, and then they come here and clown, you know, clown.
00:03:29
Speaker 3: You think you think it's like, this person's going to be what you saw, but then it turns out.
00:03:35
Speaker 2: Not to be.
00:03:35
Speaker 4: The dice.
00:03:36
Speaker 2: But that was not the case with her.
00:03:38
Speaker 1: Again, she could not have been more accommodating, friendlier, more forthcoming than she was. I mean she stood for pictures she did. Oh yeah, she did a lot. Yeah yeah, got some pictures her. Huh. And she's she was just great and and not to mention, just brilliantly astute about everything going on in her arena, which is you know, politics, voting, women's rights, small business, and things of that nature. So, as I was saying shortly before the luncheon and before she speaks, the luncheon's underway right now.
00:04:14
Speaker 3: It's happening at this moment.
00:04:16
Speaker 1: Actually, it might be just about wrapping up because it was eleven thirty to one. Oh okay, so it probably is just about wrapping up. But anyway, she met with members of the media, including me and our sister stations.
00:04:31
Speaker 2: We were all there.
00:04:32
Speaker 1: So let's take a listen to one on one I had with her.
00:04:36
Speaker 5: All Right, we are in the midst of an authoritarian rise right now.
00:04:40
Speaker 6: Technically we are.
00:04:42
Speaker 5: The United States is a competitive authoritarian nation, and what that means is that they are trying to hoard power. They're trying to take power from communities, but they're also trying to convince us that we never had power to begin with. And that means that the responsibility of every community, every democratic leaning person, not small not big D politics, but small D democracy is that we've got to fight back. We've got to believe that this is our nation and that we have the right to set the course in the agenda. And that's why the community is so important. This is not a top down someone's going to come in and save us. We've got to save ourselves, and that means we've got to show up at the polls, but we also have to show up in the offices where politicians hould power, and we've got to show up in community, reminding people why democracy matters so much. In the abstract, democracy feels remote to so many. It's why ninety million Americans who were eligible to vote didn't do so in twenty twenty four. Now is the time for us to reconnect our lived experiences to what democracy can deliver. And that means remembering that we're in this together.
00:05:49
Speaker 2: What does that look like?
00:05:51
Speaker 5: Well, I recently launched a project called the Ten Steps Campaign, and the first ten steps are explaining how democracy has been overthrown by the current regime in America. We've got to understand that it may look different, but it's true. But then the next ten steps are how we regain freedom and power. That means committing to understanding where we are, means sharing what we know, but it also means organizing and mobilizing, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. But all that means is, if you see a problem, do something about it. It's what Americans have done, It's what people of color have done. It's why June teenth is a celebratory moment for us because someone got some information, they committed to understanding, then they shared that news, and then the sharing they change the future of America.
00:06:36
Speaker 2: Business owner, aggressive about your ambition? What does that look like?
00:06:40
Speaker 5: Being aggressive about your ambition means you don't shirk from opportunity, but you also don't hide from your capacity. Too often we are told that you are supposed to be humble, but what they mean is self effacing. Self effacing is oh, I can't do it, I didn't do it. Humble is I did it, but I'm I'm not the only one who can. I am aggressive in my ambition because I want more for my people, I want more for my nation. I want more for my world, and you can't do that from a place of timidity very quickly.
00:07:11
Speaker 2: As broadcasters, what can.
00:07:12
Speaker 5: We do absolutely share the truth right now? We are in a moment where propaganda is replacing truth and where people have a fractured sense of reality. They can curate what they know, give them a reason to actually trust what you say. Cover the news that people don't often get to hear, and don't lean into the person, don't lean into what people tell you to say. Say what you know people need to hear. Media does not mean not having an opinion. It means using the facts to shape how people understand the world they're in.
00:07:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, and wanted to explain something.
00:07:49
Speaker 1: We were on such a tight time frame because myself and then from our sister station, RYANBC.
00:07:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had five minutes between the both of us.
00:08:02
Speaker 3: Wow.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I was just jumping.
00:08:06
Speaker 1: I was trying to get an answer and so many I couldn't follow up on any anything because of the time constraints. And that last question when I said very quickly, I had to get it in. I cheated a little bit because I had and he too. We're going to have some of his sound as well, because he went in another direction, which was good. And and her you know, her information was good. I was, you know, I was just thinking what what would work best for our listeners. Uh And and I think the community organizing part of it. Do something, get out there and vote.
00:08:41
Speaker 7: You know.
00:08:42
Speaker 1: It just underscores what we've been saying on the regular for forever. And then the the thing about the media. And I loved what she said about the media. You don't have you got to stay with the facts. And basically she she he was right. And and this is something that James and I have been talking about a lot, and how the national media is so him packed.
00:09:08
Speaker 3: Now that's true.
00:09:10
Speaker 1: I mean it's hard to even watch because is this the news or is it the Donald Trump Show? You wonder that you wonder every single day, every minute of every cast that you have certain outlets it's him him him him him.
00:09:28
Speaker 2: Yeah. And they you know, they've been right.
00:09:31
Speaker 1: You know, they talk about folks who work with him and for him, how they've been radicalized. I don't think that they realize that they too have been radicalized to the point where they think they have to hang on every word, be there for everything that he says, and and and kick back every word, even though they know that it's not true. And I thought his journalists were supposed to tell the truth.
00:09:53
Speaker 2: Tell the truth.
00:09:54
Speaker 1: But what they do, and I've said this a thousand times, they will deliberately play something.
00:09:59
Speaker 2: They Noah's not true. That gets out first.
00:10:03
Speaker 1: And then they say, oh, but this isn't you know, there is no evidence to back this up. And this is just not you know, whatever, this is not factual. They should open with that exactly, you know, and then say, okay, here are the facts of this particular situation. Okay, here's what Donald Trump said, and then do it. Do a truth sandwich, so to speak. After he says it, then say it again if you must. If you must, then say it again. So intro with the truth. Let him get on there and tell one of his thirty thousand a day lies or thirty thousand away however was it the New York Times count?
00:10:40
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
00:10:41
Speaker 1: They lost count, they stopped counting, they lost count. Then you know, underscore it or put the exclamation point at the.
00:10:47
Speaker 7: End of it.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: That again, this is a lie, if you must. But my thing is, at what point do they stop broadcasting the lies?
00:10:57
Speaker 2: And I know it's all there's so many things.
00:11:01
Speaker 1: That are tied up with that journalistically for and in the office and things of that nature. But when are you going to realize that you do not have a traditional a traditional figure.
00:11:14
Speaker 3: In that off And some of these journalists they've been doing this for a long time, so you know, they know, they know, they've been, they've been trained to know. Maybe some of the younger journalists you know who are just starting, they've been. You know.
00:11:27
Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's deeper than yeah, because it's your sign. It's what you're assigned to do, is what your assignment editor sends you to, chooses to send you to. It's what your how the producer stacked the show, particularly how they want to and it's how the information that goes past the producer to the executive producer and then the executive producer and the GM you know, they they connect somehow and then the GM is beholding to the stock it's just the stockholders. And so you know, you look at all the graduated steps that can influence and you know, the bottom line, it's not like it used to be.
00:12:03
Speaker 2: There's too much. To me, there's too much influence.
00:12:05
Speaker 3: I mean, I I agree.
00:12:07
Speaker 1: I understand that, you know, the the ads keep the lights on, and our sales department keeps the lights on.
00:12:12
Speaker 3: Keep the lights on.
00:12:13
Speaker 2: But at some point in time, integrity, decency.
00:12:17
Speaker 3: And truth, maybe there's fear, you know, some of those who wanted to tell the truth because of what you just said, you know, the stockholders and all those other people. Well, I want you to say this. You don't say this, then you'll be out of a job, so to speak. In a roundabout way.
00:12:33
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to be curious to see the route this wave of independent journalism takes podcasting, your own people, you know, going on their own show, websites.
00:12:51
Speaker 3: And he has his own Yeah, he has his own. Interesting he has. We talked about it off the air. He has his own. But uh, President Obama could not be on Twitter or anything.
00:13:06
Speaker 1: And the the ultimate irony, i mean, the stink and ultimate irony of Trump's social media site is called Truth. It's called Truth Social I'm sorry, Yeah, that's that's what It's called truth.
00:13:19
Speaker 2: That's the awful the that's the it should be called.
00:13:22
Speaker 1: The awful truth. Because but anyway, no, Obama wasn't even allowed to keep it.
00:13:29
Speaker 3: He couldn't keep his black marries. That was all gone.
00:13:31
Speaker 2: But here's the thing.
00:13:31
Speaker 1: Obama did not exert the influence or didn't say oh yes I am.
00:13:36
Speaker 2: He complied.
00:13:39
Speaker 1: For and and it was it was in the best interest of the country and in the security of the United States security. Yes, for security reasons, and so he acquiesced. Of course I'm gonna I don't want to make our country less safe. And then you've got somebody sitting in a playpen throwing a temper tantrum saying that they want on it, cry baby, and with a pocket full of money and influence and some other stuff. It just yeah, it's just a horrible combination.
00:14:10
Speaker 2: I don't know what else.
00:14:11
Speaker 3: We hear something every day, every every day, throughout the day, into the evenings, overnight. There's something that he's saying. Yeah, previous presidents, you didn't hear anything from generally, you know, a state of union. Maybe if there was a war of some kind that was going to happen, what have you. Then, But that was about it.
00:14:30
Speaker 1: He's not the traditional and he's never going to fit in that mold. No no, and they need to start reporting as such instead of trying to force their reporting their traditional presidential mode type reporting on a person that behaves like a lunatic one minute and a cry baby in a playpen and the next. I mean, I'm they come exaggerating. I mean, those are the descriptions.
00:14:55
Speaker 3: That's unbalanced.
00:14:57
Speaker 1: It's unbalanced. And is anybody reporting bolenced? Yeah, Obama wears a tan suit.
00:15:05
Speaker 3: Is that making a rule or something or it's.
00:15:10
Speaker 1: Just worldwide, it's just something that they chose. But he gets thirty four felony convictions and you know some other stuff I don't know, association with a known pedophile ring, probably one of the most notorious of modern daytime. And his name is associated with this man more than how many thousand times?
00:15:33
Speaker 3: Notice how quiet that's been. Have you heard anything about that. It's been crickets for quite a while.
00:15:39
Speaker 2: Crickets.
00:15:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, radio silence is radio.
00:15:43
Speaker 2: I think that that's cyclical.
00:15:44
Speaker 1: I think that's going to come back because I don't think people are not going to let it go.
00:15:48
Speaker 3: No, they won't. It's out there, it's out there's just being all the other noise is kind of drowning it out at this point.
00:15:59
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:15:59
Speaker 1: But anyway, Stacy Abrams is over there at the Indiana Convention Center as we speak, dropping some really good knowledge on on folks and uh and.
00:16:10
Speaker 2: A call to action.
00:16:11
Speaker 1: What I like about her is every every time she speaks, there's a call to action and she lays it out for you.
00:16:18
Speaker 2: How did it?
00:16:18
Speaker 1: We can We're going to replay that at some point during the show. I think we can replay that. But but yeah, and and she I really respect and admire her, and I think she's got quite a future in whatever it is that she did in politics, advocacy, you name it.
00:16:40
Speaker 2: She she's she's going to be there right in the number, right there in that most definitely. Yep.
00:16:46
Speaker 1: So in fact, I don't can Let's let's play it that. Let's play it again again. Yeah, let's play it again.
00:16:53
Speaker 3: Here it is.
00:16:54
Speaker 5: We are in the midst of an authoritarian rise right now. Technically we are United States is a competitive authoritarian nation. And what that means is that they are trying to hoard power. They're trying to take power from communities, but they're also trying to convince us that we never had power to begin with. And that means that the responsibility of every community, every democratic leaning person, not small not big D politics, but small D democracy, is that we've got to fight back We've got to believe that this is our nation and that we have the right to set the course in the agenda. And that's why the community is so important. This is not a top down someone's going to come in and save us. We've got to save ourselves, and that means we've got to show up at the polls, but we also have to show up in the offices where politicians hold power, and we've got to show up in community, reminding people why democracy matters so much and the abstract democracy feels remote to so many. It's why ninety million Americans who were eligible to vote didn't do so in twenty twenty four. Now is the time for us to reach connect our lived experiences to what democracy can deliver. And that means remembering that we're in this together.
00:18:07
Speaker 2: What does that look like.
00:18:08
Speaker 5: Well, I recently launched a project called the Ten Steps Campaign, and the first ten steps are explaining how democracy has been overthrown by the current regime in America. We've got to understand that it may look different, but it's true. But then the next ten steps are how we regain freedom and power. That means committing to understanding where we are, means sharing what we know, But it also means organizing and mobilizing, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. But all that means is, if you see a problem, do something about it. It's what Americans have done, It's what people of color have done. It's why June teenth is a celebratory moment for us, because someone got some information they committed to understanding, then they shared that news, and then the sharing they change the future of America.
00:18:53
Speaker 2: Business owner, aggressive about your ambition? What does that look like?
00:18:58
Speaker 5: Being aggressive about your ambition means you don't shirk from opportunity, but you also don't hide from your capacity. Too often we are told that you are supposed to be humble, but what they mean is self effacing. Self effacing is oh I can't do it, I didn't do it. Humble is I did it, but I'm not the only one who can. I am aggressive in my ambition because I want more for my people, I want more for my nation, I want more for my world, and you can't do that from a place of timidity.
00:19:28
Speaker 2: Very quickly. As broadcasters, what can we do?
00:19:31
Speaker 7: Absolutely share the truth?
00:19:32
Speaker 2: Right now?
00:19:33
Speaker 5: We are in a moment where propaganda is replacing truth and where people have a fractured sense of reality. They can curate what they know. Give them a reason to actually trust what you say. Cover the news that people don't often get to hear, and don't lean into the person.
00:19:49
Speaker 7: Don't lean into what.
00:19:50
Speaker 5: People tell you to say. Say what you know people need to hear. Media does not mean not having an opinion. It means using the facts to shape how people understand the world they're in.
00:20:03
Speaker 3: Yep, Yeah, absolutely again and very good.
00:20:08
Speaker 2: I like that word she used. Trust she did?
00:20:10
Speaker 3: She did. Trust is so important.
00:20:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we have to be as trustworthy worthy as we possibly can.
00:20:18
Speaker 2: Eric, we didn't do the weather.
00:20:20
Speaker 3: Oh you know, well we need to do that. Well, we go ahead, and I'm gonna James is here at least his weather answer.
00:20:28
Speaker 2: Oh god, where is it? I didn't see it.
00:20:31
Speaker 3: Seventy three degrees as we came on the air is what we are at right now. Seventy three. You've got to hit seventy eight possibly before sunset, and then tonight about fifty six should be Sunday, all afternoon, partly cloudy tonight. How about eighty tomorrow and a whole bunch of sun?
00:20:46
Speaker 2: How about that eighty?
00:20:48
Speaker 3: Now the rain's going to come in tomorrow night or Wednesday night. Yeah, tomorrow night fifty to fifty chance or some showers and better chance on Thursday. Rain on Friday too, right now? Mm hm, not a beautiful summer day right now.
00:21:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just fantastic, fantastic in these first few days of summer.
00:21:08
Speaker 2: So gotta love it. Gotta love it.
00:21:11
Speaker 3: Got alone, you know, I know I do.
00:21:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see James's.
00:21:17
Speaker 3: Gotcha For a second, I say, he's here, really.
00:21:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, he is here.
00:21:20
Speaker 1: I know, abduel and uh doctor, hey.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: Yeah his weather it's his weatherbed. But I played.
00:21:28
Speaker 2: Indeed, yeah the way it was a little cool this.
00:21:30
Speaker 1: Morning, very cool last night, but it was These are the perfect days. I mean the bugs aren't out.
00:21:37
Speaker 3: Oh I love that part.
00:21:38
Speaker 2: You get a lot of bugs on your on your car.
00:21:41
Speaker 3: You know what I do the drive, especially once we get into the middle of summer. I have it washed almost every day because there's bugs in the windshield, bugs just all over the front. And it's almost every day. And some days I'll say I'll wait a day, but it's like, especially as the days get shorter, it really gets intense.
00:22:03
Speaker 2: Hmmm.
00:22:03
Speaker 3: So I'm happy when fall gets here, when they're all gone. Bugs are gone in winter? No bugs?
00:22:08
Speaker 2: Oh really?
00:22:08
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:22:09
Speaker 1: See I always had the worst onslaught of my car bugs when I when I would drive at night in the summertime, you know, like if I was going home or coming home and is dark, I mean it literally would be plastered.
00:22:22
Speaker 3: Though, well it's an onslaught. But if you're driving, because I'm interstate every day in the morning, they can be out there. Sometimes in the morning they're out and about and getting home when I leave because I'm home before dark. But still it's like, where'd all these bugs come from? So they're out there in the early evening sunset flying around. And then add to that, bird droppings. Yeah.
00:22:47
Speaker 2: Have you seen those?
00:22:48
Speaker 1: I don't know if you scroll Instagram or just social media. Have you seen those quote unquote solar bugs zappers?
00:22:55
Speaker 3: Yes?
00:22:55
Speaker 8: I have.
00:22:56
Speaker 3: Are they real?
00:22:57
Speaker 1: I looked it up online and according to AI they are.
00:23:02
Speaker 2: No, they're not.
00:23:03
Speaker 3: Oh they're not.
00:23:04
Speaker 2: But that's says.
00:23:04
Speaker 1: I haven't talked to anybody that's had one who can refute, because sometimes that little A I bought might not tell you exactly that's true.
00:23:11
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's wrong, all right, Yeah, Sometimes it's not right.
00:23:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, well wrong, not right that's the same. Yeah, that's it is, it is, But.
00:23:20
Speaker 1: No, I I would agree, And yeah, I don't know. I you know, I used the old fashioned tiki you know, the tiki lab.
00:23:29
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, those work well, do they?
00:23:31
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:23:32
Speaker 1: My daughter was asking, she said, why don't you buy some of those for the back, for the decks so when we come out here and whatever. Citronella, Yeah, there's citronella burning tiki.
00:23:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, those torches, those do the job. Mosquitoes especially don't like citronella and mint stuff like that. They don't like that kind of stay away.
00:23:54
Speaker 4: You know.
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Something else, If you have a rural type mailbox and it's out by the street, Uh, if you put a dryer sheet inside, spiders will stay away inside inside your mailbox, just inside where they put the mail Just put it inside, just inside anywhere. Uh, spiders will like they'll stay away. Yeah, little hack there. I saw that somewhere and I tried it. Haven't had a problem with spiders since. In the mailbox. There are times that open. What the heck is all this? You know, but it won't be inside. Yeah, I might try that something to try.
00:24:29
Speaker 2: I don't know that I've noticed spiders.
00:24:31
Speaker 3: In my mo I've seen I've seen the spider or the webs in there. It's like, okay, enough of this.
00:24:35
Speaker 2: You know they're on the outside, on.
00:24:37
Speaker 3: The outside, but they get inside sometimes for whatever reason, to keep cool.
00:24:42
Speaker 2: Man, Yeah, to keep cool.
00:24:43
Speaker 1: I'll have to give it, give it a try. So, but yeah, the weather is great. It looked I was looking ahead. It looks like we might have a chance of rain for the next what today is Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
00:24:57
Speaker 3: The night rain Thursday and Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Looks like there's a timber even on Sunday. It's small chance, hopefully nothing like what we had the other day on Fathersday afternoon. That was all Yeah, all those thunderstorms and tornado warnings in south central Indiana.
00:25:18
Speaker 1: Yes, for anybody, you say, we're not in tornado alley or storm movie, they.
00:25:23
Speaker 3: Say we're not, but you wonder and I meteorologists some have said, no, we're not there. We're not there. It's still tornado alleys. Still back out in the planes.
00:25:31
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, okay, okay, okay, all right, Well let's take a quick break right here and we'll come back with more community connection right after this.
00:25:47
Speaker 8: Let's get back to the conversation it's community Connection with Tina Cosby on Praise AM thirteen ten ninety five point one FM.
00:26:00
Speaker 2: And we are back. Indeed, indeed, indeed, huh uh that was five seven.
00:26:09
Speaker 3: Here we are. Yeah, beautiful, beautiful Tuesday. And it looks like it's like the clouds are fading away and loving that. That's wonderful to see nothing but pure sunshine all day long on this Tuesday.
00:26:26
Speaker 2: All day long, all day long. I love the.
00:26:30
Speaker 1: I love what the Urban League did this year with their Evil Opportunity Day luncheon. That's one of their biggest fundraisers of the year. You know, their annual Gala, of course, but the the ee O Day luncheon, And it's more than just a luncheon. I mean they have activities, workshops, uh, I think even the job fair things of those throughout the day and then the luncheon is the highlight. And they always have a hot, pretty high profile keynote speaker. And as we were saying, today's speaker was voting rights activist, author, former Georgia politician, media personality Stacey Abrams, who is taller than what we thought.
00:27:12
Speaker 2: She was much taller, but so very.
00:27:15
Speaker 1: Accommodating, and again, I can't stress enough how much of a pleasure it was to talk to her, even though it was very, very brief. I mean, everybody got maybe two minutes, three minutes.
00:27:26
Speaker 3: With her, and TV stations there too, I'm sure.
00:27:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they were there, and they had the same amount of time. Time pretty much pretty much make that yeah, yeah, so they and you have to you just have to be totally focused, and you had to be mindful of the clock the whole time exactly.
00:27:44
Speaker 2: Which is something I'm glad I picked up.
00:27:46
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I think I'm better at you know, I'm better at not being late or being I'm better at being oblivious to time. Having worked in an industry where you you live by the by the clock, you you have a better appreciation.
00:28:05
Speaker 3: You can time you do everything is time. You have lunch, you have this much time, you take a break for whatever reason, you have this many seconds to do so or maybe a minute or so.
00:28:13
Speaker 2: You know how much time you have, You know how much.
00:28:15
Speaker 3: Time in your head. You're pretty much there.
00:28:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I just sent a reminder speaking of time.
00:28:24
Speaker 1: To mister Abdul. You know what, he's a busy man. He may have got he is.
00:28:28
Speaker 3: He's an attorney as well as isn't.
00:28:30
Speaker 7: He also college.
00:28:33
Speaker 2: On the columnist.
00:28:35
Speaker 3: He is busy.
00:28:36
Speaker 2: He is busy.
00:28:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a contributor on some some TV shows, political TV shows, and he has his own Abdul at Large.
00:28:46
Speaker 3: That's true. He does. Isn't that a large due at large every.
00:28:49
Speaker 2: Saturday, Saturday one to three under U I b C.
00:28:52
Speaker 3: He's doing that.
00:28:53
Speaker 2: And he knows how to get people talking.
00:28:57
Speaker 3: He does, he really does.
00:29:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, he knows how to get.
00:29:01
Speaker 3: People talking and not wanting to stop at some point.
00:29:05
Speaker 1: I always admired. I always enjoyed. I won't see it admired. I always enjoyed his exchanges with Amos.
00:29:12
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, those were always It's kind.
00:29:14
Speaker 1: Of a negro version of the point counterpoint old school exchanges that they used to have on sixty minutes years ago. And I was little, I was little, but I remember seeing that it was Shana and Jack I think their names. I remember that Shana and Jack.
00:29:33
Speaker 2: I got it. I got to look it up.
00:29:35
Speaker 1: But they would you know, one would be ultra conservative, the other ultraliberal, and there was no ground in the middle.
00:29:43
Speaker 3: There as they weren't be on TV for a while.
00:29:47
Speaker 2: I you know, I can't.
00:29:48
Speaker 3: They did some stuff they did they were on TV.
00:29:52
Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, was it? Let me see, I got to figure out their names.
00:29:59
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he and Amos. And then they were on the radio too, right.
00:30:03
Speaker 3: I think they were. I believe they were on at one time, they were on together. So speaking of inspiration, you can be inspired aboard one Voyage doin It twenty six. Yeah, yeah, this is going to be awesome, featuring Jonathan and Reynolds, Jack Kaylin carr Astor, Mike Junior and more, experience music, fellowship and purpose. You can book now at one Voyage cruise dot com or call two one four four nine five nineteen sixty three use code Indie. That's I N d Y fiscally sponsored by United Negro College Fund. And if you'd like to celebrate love at Sea, you can do that as well with a Vowel Renewals that's going to be happening with Erica Campbell and Warren Campbell, her husband. They're going to be hosting featuring a special performance by Tony Terry. You can make memories on One Voyage twenty twenty six. You can book today at one Voyage cruise dot Com. You can call to one four nine nineteen sixty three.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: It coming up in October, coming up in October, and cabins are still available, but they go fast. We are a later buying ticket, you know, we're a later buying city or population here.
00:31:15
Speaker 2: We tend to bilate.
00:31:16
Speaker 1: And I'm guilty. But that wasn't by I mean that just yeah, that just happened. But yeah, but the sooner the better for something like this.
00:31:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. You don't want to miss out on the opportunity.
00:31:30
Speaker 2: And people thoroughly enjoy cruises.
00:31:32
Speaker 3: They do, they really do. Cruises are nice relaxing a hotel on water.
00:31:37
Speaker 2: Do you know how to relax when you go on vacation.
00:31:40
Speaker 3: I do. I really can find the time to relax. I do. But when you're cruising, so many things to see and do. I like to be able to see different ports of call, that kind of thing. But there's a lot to do on the ship itself, a whole lot to do, and meeting new people that's always fun too. I was on a cruise one time. It was a cruise ship of broadcasters radio. Met some nice radio people from other parts of the country. I had heard had never met, they had even heard of me. I'm a really little me some from Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, LA and all over the place and built friendships. It was a lot of fun, cool, cool, cool cool.
00:32:20
Speaker 1: Well, as you know, one of the things I was going to talk to clearly Abdulla has become unavoidably detained. But one of the things I was going to talk to him about was the primary. Today is another primary election day New York, Maryland, Utah, and a runoff in South Carolina. Voters are going to cast their ballots in Maryland, New York, and Utah. South Carolina voters are going to have runoff elections. Runoff elections in South Carolina are held when no candidate receives more than fifty percent of the vote in an election, so the two candidates in a given race advance to the runof. In Maryland, voters are going to choose candidates for governor, Congress, and numerous local offices. The elections includes races for county executives, local councils, and other state positions. Maryland Governor Wes Moore, the only African American currently leading a state in the these United States of America, is running for re election in the Democratic primary. Let's see, there's some redistricting stuff going on in Utah.
00:33:29
Speaker 2: Oh, in Utah.
00:33:30
Speaker 1: A new court ordered redistricting plan has created a democratic leaning district in a state historically dominated by Republicans, and the outcome could have implications again for the midterm elections and the control of the House. But you know, the Indiana, Indiana, the Indiana state legislature, when they lawmakers decided to vote down the redistrict, they may have known what they were doing, because you know, there's such a thing as overreach.
00:34:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's true.
00:34:04
Speaker 1: They were like, we got it good enough, We've got it about as good as it's going to get, and if we go too much further, it's not.
00:34:09
Speaker 2: Going to get any better.
00:34:10
Speaker 3: That's pushing the envelope. Yeah, way over the edge.
00:34:14
Speaker 1: But that's thinking instead of just bowing to whatever Donald Trump says.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: That's thinking and thinking ahead.
00:34:21
Speaker 3: By the way, and you said Utah, like Utah in Utah?
00:34:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yep, yeah, yep, yep, yep. So oh, this is interesting. It says Trump Tower in Chicago could soon be located on Barack Hussein Obama way.
00:34:39
Speaker 3: Oh really, mmmm boy, that's going to go over well in DC MM HMM.
00:34:45
Speaker 1: A proposal to honorarily rename the street in Chicago where Trump Tower is located to Barack Hussain Obama Way was introduced at City County at the City Council this week. The proposal was introduced by forty second Ward Ald and Brendan Riley on Wednesday, the eve of the grand opening of Okay that was last week Okay uh so ju Dude, an event to which the grand opening the Presidential Center and event which Trump was not invited. If approved, the ordnance would honorarily rename the east side of North Wabash Avenue between East Kinsey Street and East Whacker Drive to Barack Hussein Obama Way.
00:35:32
Speaker 2: WOW.
00:35:34
Speaker 1: Plus an honorary street sign marking the designation would also be put up right outside Trump Tower, located four o one North Wabash Avenue and on the Wabash Avenue Bridge. According to the proposed ordinance, a petition calling for the Wabash Avenue to be renamed the honor firm Okay was created and so there we go. Okay that's rich. Trump Tower in Chicago in Chicago could soon be located on Barack Husain Obama way.
00:36:06
Speaker 3: Well, won't that be shocked to him?
00:36:09
Speaker 7: Yeah?
00:36:09
Speaker 1: The City Council in Chicago, uh making uh you know, introducing this and hmm Chicago kind of democratic.
00:36:21
Speaker 3: It is quite a bit.
00:36:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Okay, we'll see. I think that one's going to go. I don't know.
00:36:28
Speaker 3: We'll hear about that when when he you know, realizes what's going on, that happens.
00:36:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Obama Presidential Center I under Oh, okay, this is okay, mister Schabbaz is calling me. But anyway, go ahead, Brian, How are you all right?
00:36:45
Speaker 9: All right?
00:36:45
Speaker 10: Fresh press back from Chicago?
00:36:47
Speaker 2: Oh, how what you know? What we want to know? Do tail? Do tail?
00:36:52
Speaker 10: Well, there's there's there's multitudes to tail. But don't know if you have enough time for me. Uh, very very nice, very nice, elegant. There's a bunch of reading. It's it's a library, not a museum. And they have they have uh not poster boards, but but uh uh they have a montage that that that goes from Florida ceiling when you enter the building. Uh uh numerous uh there again videos of his speeches and different episodes of of his uh you know, Ascendance to to Presidency that runs continuously. But but then you have, like I said, displays and exhibits that there they have. I didn't get to make it down that aisle. Uh, but they have uh uh display of her dresses that she wore. And they have recognition to his his ascendants to the presidency from Chicago as terms of working from the senatorship and even SCLC and and little little trinkets which I found was interesting, trinkets of people that people sent him as as good luck charms or what have you not. And they had a few few of those displays on. But they recognized the porter men that were that were us. They recognized the Civil War slavery, I mean not slavery, but the Civil War soldiers. It said one hundred and seventy nine thousand black infantry troops served in the Civil War before the Union wow, and and had tributes to Angela Davis. And basically it was a montage. My ticket, it's a time ticket was at three forty five, but it promptly closed at.
00:39:07
Speaker 4: Six, so you didn't get you Well, I don't know if.
00:39:13
Speaker 10: That was due to that. That was only the second day open to the public. Well, when we arrived there were multitudes well not a multitude, but various lines. We had to discern where we go into the museum because they had a line to go into the gift store, and they had a line going into the gymnasium and a line going three lines. Yeah, so that's important. I would highly recommend ubering. Number one, ubering no matter where you go when you arrive in Chicago, but uber not trying to find waste your time, especially with your ticket being timed. Yeah, to find a space.
00:39:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense.
00:40:00
Speaker 1: So on a scale of on a scale of one to ten, where would this this center fault in terms of your estimation?
00:40:08
Speaker 10: Well, since I didn't get to see all the floors because there again it was time, because I think we skipped tooth floors trying to uh get.
00:40:19
Speaker 2: To the top.
00:40:20
Speaker 10: Through the letters of a speech and you see, uh, I would say I would give it to eight only because or I don't I didn't see since I'm not disabled. But they have escalators that that will take you up floors. They don't have uh escalators to bring you down. Okay, So I found that interesting. Number one too, they have they have at least they have benches to take a respite when you need to sit down and take a break. But I didn't see any water fountains or anything for people, you know who need maybe take medications or anything.
00:40:58
Speaker 9: But but but so, but but all and all, from what I saw, it's very nice.
00:41:02
Speaker 10: And now I'm going back.
00:41:04
Speaker 2: Okay, Well that's.
00:41:07
Speaker 10: I however, will not be going back in November, because you're right on Lake Michigan.
00:41:14
Speaker 2: Cold is cold to me.
00:41:18
Speaker 10: You're waiting for your time ticket. If you can't get in in the gift shop or whatever you're going, you better be braced up.
00:41:26
Speaker 2: All right. Well, Brian, that's that's great. Thank you so much for that. Thank you. I appreciate it.
00:41:30
Speaker 1: And you know what an honest assessment and that that tends to happen with uh, you know, with with folks that that have to go to places like that, and and especially with the with the timed you know, the time ticketing and stuff.
00:41:48
Speaker 2: So uh and he didn't get to see all of it.
00:41:50
Speaker 3: That's true.
00:41:51
Speaker 2: You know, that's he's gonna go back.
00:41:53
Speaker 1: So that's high praise. That's high praise. I think our buddy Abduel is here. I think he got stuck in court, but he's on the line.
00:42:01
Speaker 11: How are you, hey, miss Cosby, How are you doing this morning.
00:42:05
Speaker 9: Or whatever time it is?
00:42:07
Speaker 11: I was working late last time in a brief that has been done by midnight, head court this morning.
00:42:10
Speaker 9: So but we're here, we care anyway.
00:42:12
Speaker 1: Okay, indeed, well we won't hold you along. Do you have to what time do you have to be back in the courtroom?
00:42:19
Speaker 9: Oh no, I'm fine. I just it was it was an all morning things.
00:42:21
Speaker 2: Oh the morning thing. So now just wrap you know quickly the convention. You were there front and center. So what they gave diego the boot? So what now?
00:42:35
Speaker 9: Now?
00:42:36
Speaker 11: The can is going to be a young man named Max Engling. Max is he's never held public office before younger kids, I want to say thirty ish. Noblesville ran for Congress against thee Curious Parts back in twenty twenty four, came in third place, then went to work for Jim Banks the States excuse me, the US Senator, and he won with about fifty three and the two kit took two ballots. Because the way conventions work is it's kind of like you have like five people, then the person of the lowest boat drops off and they go four rounds and three, then two, until somebody hit fifty percent plus one, and so Max ended up getting like fifty three percent on the second vote.
00:43:21
Speaker 9: It's only forty seven percent on the first vote.
00:43:24
Speaker 11: So, and the person came in last was a not so young lady named Jamie Rittawer who's kind of backcrack crazy.
00:43:32
Speaker 2: So so backpack crazy.
00:43:34
Speaker 3: I like that.
00:43:35
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll use that one, won't we eric backpack crazy? But so what does this say about the state's Republican party that they jumped shipped so quickly behind a flawed candidate that the new was flawed and we're perfectly content to let him remain flawed until someone else entered the race.
00:43:54
Speaker 2: What does this say about the party?
00:43:56
Speaker 11: Well, here's the thing about Daga Morales. Either ride about Diego Morales for years since the first adventure into twenty twenty two. Uh, and the guy had about skelets the skeleton in his closet to make a graveyard mortar recently because guys.
00:44:11
Speaker 2: Happened right exactly by point Yeah, there you go, Well.
00:44:14
Speaker 9: But but the thing was number one.
00:44:18
Speaker 11: Actually, I would argue that Diaga Morales is what happens when you take di I to its logical extreme. Because Republicans wanted somebody of a can of color so badly. Now, somebody Latino, Hispanic, you know, Mexican, that I chose Diaega Morales knowing the fact that Diego had all these skeletons in his closet. So if somebody wants to talk about the next I will reminder that the first three letters in Diego's name are die so fyi. So so there's so there's that kind of point number one. But point number two was all the things that happened to Diego Morales. The thing that I think that did it meant for most of the delegates was the fact that he'd hired a non citizen on his staff to help oversee elections. Because remember, now, she wasn't here legally, even though there's an argument that could be made that she possibly was if she he the hero and expired visa. But she was a non citizen overseen elections. And my issue was, okay, for others, who we need to send me to the safeguard this election, do this thing, do this thing, do this thing, because we don't want non citizens to vote. So I guess apparently non sendences aren't okay to vote, but they're goodenough to overseen election. Like, okay, all right, and that is what did it for a lot of delegates.
00:45:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, nothing, he had nothing to do with. But there's had.
00:45:26
Speaker 1: To be some influence though with the by name coming against Morales though, don't.
00:45:31
Speaker 2: You think.
00:45:33
Speaker 11: I think I think it was sort of I think it was sort of a united divine front because said Jim Banks on the one hand, and also Dave Shelton, Thenox County clerk who is normal uh was there, and uh, there are a couple other people on the battlet as well.
00:45:46
Speaker 9: But I would say, I would say Jim Banks that they.
00:45:48
Speaker 11: Spent a lot of capital moving and trying to move a lot of numbers, a lot of people to Max Engling. So now the question is can Max when in November? Even though the states were primarily Republican, there's still some Republicans weren't crazy about the part of these days, which why they find Greg Ballart so attractive. And you also have bow By, a famous by name with a few million dollars in the bank, so.
00:46:09
Speaker 2: Anything else yeah bow bye. Yeah. I don't know.
00:46:14
Speaker 1: I guess I was just thinking too simplistically then, because it seemed like all of these things became important once By was announced in the race, they didn't seem as important.
00:46:23
Speaker 2: So let me ask you this, let me reverse it.
00:46:25
Speaker 1: Had by not entered the race, do you think that the GOP would have still withdrawn their support for Morales even if there would be no bow.
00:46:32
Speaker 11: Bay, they would have done something because the like I said, all the all the things against Diego were just it was like a soball just builds up as it rolls downhill. And the higher of the non citizen that that was the straw that broke the camel's back or the patrician camel's Backcause the patrician campbell has two humps.
00:46:49
Speaker 2: So even though they were becoming extinct, right.
00:46:53
Speaker 1: Camel, let me they are the two hump camel is becoming stupid up in my head.
00:47:01
Speaker 2: Uh the That's what I do for a living.
00:47:04
Speaker 1: So okay, okay, okay. H Stacy Abrams is in town today. Uh and she, you know, is always issued a call to action for folks to take people citizens, to take more control of of their their their destiny by by getting more involved in the voting process. Several primaries are being held today. What you know, what are your thoughts on that?
00:47:28
Speaker 2: Number one?
00:47:28
Speaker 1: Abram's message about citizens becoming more involved and on the primaries that are being held today, some of which are probably going to go toward influencing the direction that the House goes.
00:47:39
Speaker 9: H Here's what I think.
00:47:40
Speaker 11: I'm going to respectfully disagree with miss Abans because number one, although everybody has the right to vote, I don't necessarily think everybody should be voting. And here's why there's a bunch of people, because a bunch of people coming together make a bad decision, doesn't make a bad decision good, just makes.
00:47:52
Speaker 4: It more bad.
00:47:53
Speaker 9: So I don't I don't believe.
00:47:55
Speaker 11: Necessarily more participation equals better participation. What I will say is more informed participation and equals better participation.
00:48:02
Speaker 9: Because people have studied it.
00:48:04
Speaker 11: Candidate, they researched candidates, they realize, Okay, this candidate most aligned most of the lines of what I believe or what I want out of my government, So I'll vote for that person in particular. Now, please note, nobody believes that nobody agrees with anybody one hundred percent of the time. My wife doesn't agree with that, hund I'm louck at. My wife agrees with me ten percent of the time, So that's one hundred percent And this whole thing for purity tests on the on the left, when we talk about people like Blive Potter. On the far right, we'll talking about, you know whatever. I'll never and somebody because they want someone who agrees with them a hundred percent, Like, that's not going to happen. And if you have a purity test for your candidate, you're always going to be disappointed. I will never forget something. Mitch Daniels, one of the best governors I've ever met my entire adult political life, said to me. He said, O'm duel when it comes to purity test. Purity tests on look good for two things, Nazis and suicide bombers.
00:48:48
Speaker 9: That's it. I was like, thank you, Governor. That stuck with me forever.
00:48:52
Speaker 11: So if you're looking for somebody with who match to one hundred percent, good luck, because you're not going to find that the only person agrees with one hundred percent times that person in the mirror.
00:48:59
Speaker 9: And even then you have some doubt from time to time. So that's kind of point number one. Point number two.
00:49:04
Speaker 11: My issue with primaries is it's basically it's basically you, the taxpayer, putting the bill so other pelical parts can pick their candidates that have a major problem with That's why I prefer the convention route. Let them get let people be delegates, let them do their own figure out who they want to run for what, and then they'll reimburse the state for whatever bill that the state gifts for the for their elections. But primary is, if you're a Democratic Republican, why should you pay for another party to pick their candidate, plain and simple. Now, if the tax remy have done with the bill, I would I would sitch to an open primary system where let's let's where you got five people in the ballot. Dr doesn't matter, but the top vote getter, if the private vote gets what the fifty percent they win or sixty percent otherwise take the top two they face each other in the run off. I think that's a much more equable, fair way to get things done as opposed to the way we do them right now.
00:49:55
Speaker 9: But right now people have best interested in the system.
00:49:57
Speaker 11: That's why I won't change which I can respect but un necessarily have to like it.
00:50:01
Speaker 1: I want to go back to the point you made about this respectful disagreement with with Stacy Abrams about getting more people out to vote and you're saying that that's not the issue. The issue is getting more informed people to vote. So are you saying uninformed people shouldn't vote.
00:50:18
Speaker 11: I prefer uninformed people didn't I mean, but now everybody has.
00:50:21
Speaker 9: The right to vote.
00:50:22
Speaker 10: Don't get me wrong.
00:50:23
Speaker 2: Okay, but think about this.
00:50:24
Speaker 11: If I went through all the trouble and erginan hassle to found the time to research my candidate figure what the issues were for me, then what I think? It's kind of still that my votes counseled by my idiot brother in law. But my idian brother in law has the same right to vote that I do, so I have to respect that. Now protect my idiot brother, my idiot brother in law's right to vote. On top of it, however, I wish you would do a little better job now. I want to vote democratic, Republican, libertarian, anarchists. I don't care who you vote for, as long as as long as you came as long came by it honestly and fairly, and and to a certain degree. I will even let emotions taken to take into account as well, because a lot.
00:50:58
Speaker 2: Of times voting is so emotion Yeah.
00:51:00
Speaker 11: Yeah, we vote for we vote vote for who we like and vote against who we can't stand. Mm hmm, Now why you like people you can't stand people?
00:51:08
Speaker 9: Those for a different reasons. But to give you an idea, my wife love the missus.
00:51:11
Speaker 11: Chavaz back in the late two thousands.
00:51:14
Speaker 9: She voted for it.
00:51:15
Speaker 11: I'll get load of this Barack Obama, Mitch Daniels, Greg Ballard, and Cherish Prior.
00:51:21
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, she's an informed voter.
00:51:25
Speaker 9: Yeah, she's an informed voter. She votes the previous She votes for who she likes and who and again that she can't.
00:51:28
Speaker 2: Stand okay against also.
00:51:32
Speaker 11: Yeah, exactly, and also too, bob. She takes the time to get informed. Now she doesn't do as well as I do, But then again, who does. But she'll ask me quite like, honey, what does this mean?
00:51:41
Speaker 9: What does this mean?
00:51:42
Speaker 11: Like, well, that means this, that means this. Now we'll never tell my wife who to vote for. I would just tell them what they canvas stand from what they believe. In a couple people were just total buttholes, like no, honey, don't vote for him.
00:51:50
Speaker 9: I hate that guy. He's a jerk.
00:51:52
Speaker 1: So yeah, so where do you think we're heading? What what do you think I'm you know, going.
00:51:57
Speaker 9: To on the handbasket.
00:51:58
Speaker 11: Oh oh you mean, oh the hell in the hand basket. No, I think it'll be now that Greg Ballot has the signatures, which which I know he does. He's got the signatures to get on the ballot. This three way race between a Democratic Republic Libertarian is now four person race, which means technically only twenty six percent of the ballot to get on or to win. And at Greg Ballot gets ten percent of the vote, the Lincoln Party now becomes a major party. So I think he was a big story this week that he got the signatures because right now theyve got at least sixty thousand the probably eighty thousand by the time it's all said and done. And by the way, the Libertarian canon ran in twenty four and got one hundred thousand votes.
00:52:39
Speaker 1: So so is Diego going to suspend his campaign and drop out as be as requested or do you think he's gonna you know, for.
00:52:46
Speaker 11: John Well, No, because because of the convention, he's the longer of the nominee or potential nominee, So he's.
00:52:53
Speaker 9: He's he's no longer ready for reelection because he can't run.
00:52:56
Speaker 1: He can't run as a Republican, right.
00:53:00
Speaker 11: I don't think he can run as a Democrat either. Indiana had what's called a sore loser law, you can't run for that same office.
00:53:08
Speaker 7: And the same thing, the.
00:53:10
Speaker 1: Same thing that happened with the sheriff's race here in Marion County. Uh there was Yeah, yeah.
00:53:15
Speaker 2: So that's the that's the same scenario.
00:53:17
Speaker 1: Because I thought he could just say, Okay, I don't have the parties backing, I'll just go a loan ago solo.
00:53:22
Speaker 2: And he cannot do that, then.
00:53:24
Speaker 4: I don't.
00:53:25
Speaker 11: I don't think so now I don't know. That's a good question. You gave me something to research this afternoon.
00:53:28
Speaker 2: Okay, well, thank you.
00:53:30
Speaker 11: We'll taring someone else who love the Missina costs.
00:53:34
Speaker 2: I there's stuff running around in my head, not too much else.
00:53:38
Speaker 9: But that's that's why I have edibles.
00:53:41
Speaker 11: So get to sleep and I actually calm down and just decompressed.
00:53:45
Speaker 2: So, yeah, Diego is is an interesting case.
00:53:47
Speaker 1: And I, for whatever reason, I just don't see him walking away. He just seems pretty determined to do what Diego does.
00:53:53
Speaker 2: But we'll see. But let me know what you find out.
00:53:56
Speaker 7: We'll do.
00:53:57
Speaker 11: And by the way, here's the thing, now, I actually, I think Dago Ralis actually will be more danger now than he was before. Yeah, lost nomination, and he's still got a million dollars in the bank. He can be a pain in a whole lot of people between now an election day. Now, what decide to do remains to be seen. But you never kind of out till he's like Jason for five at thirteen tonight, it's not dead until you've seen a body. Okay, all right, even then I've seen the body still alive, So.
00:54:20
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Well, thank you very much, sir. I appreciate it. Thank you for making time for us.
00:54:24
Speaker 1: I know your schedule is busy, and when you find out, let me know or let us know and we'll share that with our listeners.
00:54:30
Speaker 11: Hey, we'll do with coff You guys, think care and have a great day.
00:54:32
Speaker 2: You too. YouTube. We'll be back with more community connection right after this.
00:54:43
Speaker 8: Wtoc AM W two three six c are Indianapolis broadcasting from the Praise Indy Indiego Studios, Indiego Boldly moving Indy Forward. It's Community Connection with Tina Cosby on Praise AM thirteen ten ninety five point on FM.
00:55:01
Speaker 2: We are back, We are back. We are back. I was trying to catch my breath because the dual takes you for a ride. He takes you for a ride.
00:55:10
Speaker 4: Who.
00:55:12
Speaker 2: Yes, he's got the energy. He's got the energy.
00:55:14
Speaker 1: And like I said, he caught me off guard when when he said the worst thing in the world is for a whole bunch of people, uh to vote uninformed. Yeah, And I'm glad he went back and I'm glad to followed up and he went back and clarified.
00:55:29
Speaker 2: But it's almost kind of like what happened the last election. Yeah, or you know, or maybe they were informed and didn't care anyway.
00:55:36
Speaker 3: That could be either or they knew both.
00:55:38
Speaker 2: I don't know how you wouldn't have known.
00:55:40
Speaker 3: How would you not know?
00:55:41
Speaker 2: How would you not know? Yet now now they know again. So we are going to switch gears.
00:55:47
Speaker 3: Here, Eric, ready to hang on?
00:55:50
Speaker 2: Ready, ready to hang on? Hang on, hang on.
00:55:54
Speaker 1: We have back with us our good friend, doctor Denise Hey. She is a psychologist and presser of the Indiana Chapter of the Association of Black Psychologists. Doctor Hayes, welcome back, and I have to tell you, Eric, she's looking most island like today.
00:56:09
Speaker 3: It looks like she's been on a cruise.
00:56:10
Speaker 4: It does.
00:56:11
Speaker 2: We were just talking about a cruise, I asked her.
00:56:13
Speaker 7: I said, you know, no cruise. I just went to Cole's.
00:56:17
Speaker 2: And got a sale.
00:56:23
Speaker 7: So s a l E not an say.
00:56:26
Speaker 12: I lall on a cruise in November and one of the places we stopped was the Dominican Republic, and I was sad to see that fire that has people are okay and they can recuperate because that country does struggle economically.
00:56:43
Speaker 1: So yeah, well you have a special guest and we have a special conversation that you don't always associate with mental health and mental wellness.
00:56:53
Speaker 2: Which is of course your area, but it.
00:56:56
Speaker 1: Is important nonetheless, and there is quite a connection there.
00:56:59
Speaker 7: It's quite a connection.
00:57:01
Speaker 12: So to talk about sexual health or sexual wellness. We are human and we are sexual beings. We wouldn't reproduce if we weren't, and so it's critical. But you know, there's the just the basics, But then there's how does social media? How does marketing? How does advertisement? How do stereotypes? How do all of those things impact us? So, for example, African American women have often been sexualized, and so when we think the books, yes and in the books absolutely no, No, you're absolutely right, and so for women though you know, we also see it in the when the videos first came out, for the songs and music and.
00:57:57
Speaker 7: And all that kind of stuff.
00:57:58
Speaker 12: Sometimes we start to emulate that and internalize some of those messages. And so then the question is which part is who we really are and which part are we accepting what other people say? And is that is that? What is that how we really attract people? Is that really what healthy sexual relationships are like that? You know, you have things showing that maybe should be for the bedroom, I mean, or are you okay with that? Is that body positivity?
00:58:32
Speaker 7: You know? So it's just a question to see.
00:58:36
Speaker 1: Well, you broughte a special guest along with you who's going to help us sort out some of these questions, and I'd like for.
00:58:41
Speaker 2: You to introduce them to our listeners.
00:58:43
Speaker 12: Well, this is a dear old friend that we haven't talked in a while, doctor James Wadley, and we were in the American Association of Blacks and Higher Education Together, which is an organization of black administrators from higher education patient that get together and talk about research and what are the trends and what's happening on college campuses across the country. And so doctor Widley was one of those people. So, good afternoon, doctor Widley.
00:59:15
Speaker 4: Good afternoon, folks. How are you all doing this afternoon?
00:59:18
Speaker 7: Good? It's so good to hear your voice. How have you been.
00:59:22
Speaker 4: I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty good. I was inspired by the last segment with the gentleman talking about making good decisions about voting and being informed. The same thing.
00:59:33
Speaker 6: Follows suit with conversations about sexuality, and that individuals and couples and families need to have good information and accurate information in order to make good decisions about their behaviors as well as who they choose to partner.
00:59:49
Speaker 1: With, Doctor Widley, if I may, so that we can just kind of you figure our starting point when we talk about sexual wellness. What exactly are you talking about? What is is it?
01:00:02
Speaker 4: So?
01:00:02
Speaker 6: Sexual wellness has to do with people feeling positive about themselves, their bodies, and their relationships, and obviously the focal point might be on communication, where individuals can be insightful enough to talk about what they're thinking, how they feel, what they do, and maybe even what they fantasize about, and in sharing that with partners or friends or family members, obviously the goal might be that whenever they do engage in romantic relationships with one another, that sex will be safe and it's consensual and pleasurable. More often than not, people tend to avoid those sensitive conversations because those conversations are value laden, meaning that the sum total of who we are filters into all of our conversations, and sometimes sexual wellness is elusive for folks. But what we try to do in our profession, in our field of sexology clinical sexology, is to promote safe conversations and consentual conversations so that way folks can enjoy themselves with regards to whatever kind of intimacy they want to express to each other.
01:01:09
Speaker 2: How do you know when it's healthy and will balanced.
01:01:13
Speaker 6: It's healthy and will balanced if there is sharing. So in this conversation, there are four of us here, and four of us could have a conversation about ourselves and our relationships and how we choose to manage ourselves in those relationships. So I would say that healthy conversations are balanced conversations that all of us have an opportunity to share. But then all of us have an opportunity to listen and grow from one another regarding our own experiences without judgment, without judgment.
01:01:47
Speaker 2: How often does that happen?
01:01:49
Speaker 1: Is you're a therapist and doctor Wiler you're a therapist too, and so it's like you both are called upon to bring things back into balance.
01:01:57
Speaker 7: I guess yeah.
01:01:59
Speaker 12: So I'm sure doctor Widley has had this issue as well. But when you're working with couples, for example, when you watch people talk, you almost can tell how healthy their sexual life is, meaning because if there's one person that dominates, then that means that maybe the other person doesn't have the opportunity to express what they like, what they need in many areas, including sex. If they're not hardly talking at all, you can just feel that coldness, then you can assume that there's not much intimacy happening. So often I wouldn't approach it early in the first couple of sessions, but once they get comfortable, I'll say, you know, I'm just curious, what is your sex life like? And then they will both just roll their eyes and.
01:02:51
Speaker 7: You know, neither are happy.
01:02:53
Speaker 12: But the way they communicate is an indicator of what that would be like, because if you don't have good communication, it's very hard to have intimacy.
01:03:04
Speaker 7: Would you agree, Jane I do.
01:03:07
Speaker 6: Yeah, I do agree, but I think I take a little bit different approach. I address sex on the first in the first session, and the reason why I do that is because I know that sometimes couples have fewer opportunities to talk constructively about sex and sexuality. So if I meet with them the first session and then I don't talk about it, then they get away, that means they may have missed out on an opportunity.
01:03:32
Speaker 4: So what I do is I actually have.
01:03:34
Speaker 6: Them do what's called a sex history to talk about sexuality over the course of the life band that informs how they show up with one another. And oftentimes people may obviously may not have shared, but then two, they may not have thought through some of the questions that I might ask them about what they learned about sex and maybe what sex look like for them as a teenager and as a young adult and so on, and how those learning then inform how they present themselves to their partners.
01:04:04
Speaker 12: And it's a good example of how different therapists operate differently, and all are.
01:04:10
Speaker 9: Good, you know.
01:04:13
Speaker 12: So how has social media impacted sexual wellness?
01:04:20
Speaker 6: I would say that social media has offered both good and bad.
01:04:24
Speaker 4: So if we can.
01:04:25
Speaker 6: Think about what was shared about what the gentleman talked about with voting, that sometimes we get information and sometimes we get misinformation.
01:04:33
Speaker 4: And social media has a way of.
01:04:35
Speaker 6: Offering both, and sometimes social media has a way of amplifying both.
01:04:42
Speaker 4: And so for some.
01:04:43
Speaker 6: Folks when they view or process social media pages or you know, different influencers, sometimes they develop a skewed sense of what reality might be, meaning that more often than not, when people post on social media, they're not going to post some of them more negative things that happen in their life or that maybe they experienced a sexual dysfunction, or they acquire a sexy transmit infection, or there was some thing negative that happened to them. More often than that, they will celebrate sexuality in a way that leaves the viewer to believe that, oh, sex is great, sex is wonderful. There is no consent, there is no negotiation, and people always want to have sex with you depending upon how you look. And obviously we know in the real world, but that isn't true that there is a lot of negotiation that happens between couples in whatever it is that they're thinking about doing and whatever it is they want to do, and sometimes those realities don't mesh with what's presented in social media.
01:05:41
Speaker 12: Do you work with young people as well? I would imagine from time to time.
01:05:46
Speaker 6: I do, But the primary focal point of my practice is with adults. I would probably say, from what age twenty five to eighty five? Yeah, most of the adults who actually venture to see me, they may be struggling with obviously depression and anxiety. But when you tie that into sexuality, you know, people want to talk about their sexual function and their dysfunction.
01:06:12
Speaker 12: Okay, okay, I was just asking because I was thinking about, you know, social media and what that means for younger people and even how parents. So so, from this perspective, what about how parents can prepare their children to be what is the term digital literate digitally literate as it relates to self esteem and sexuality.
01:06:39
Speaker 6: Yeah, I have a lot of parents who reach out to me regarding that about you know, what sites, websites or what social media pages are best to follow? And then I usually start off with inviting parents to consider where their kids are at developmentally, that some what some kids consume as a ten year old might be a lot different than what some kids consume as an eighteen year old. So we know for younger children, we know that they're learning about their bodies and learning about how their bodies function. So if they're consuming social media pages that talk openly about changes in one's body and what that might look like, some parents may judge that to be okay. And obviously some parents may judge that to be not okay.
01:07:28
Speaker 4: But then as kids get.
01:07:29
Speaker 6: Older, they're able to think abstractly, be when they're enter into their preteens and teen years, and so now the sexuality and relationship content that they experience might be a little bit different in that they can think in terms of you know, maybe blended family structures, or maybe in terms of maintaining a relationship with oneself or maintain a relationship with multiple people at the same time. And so for us, we as practitioners, we talk to them about engaging in excuse me, developmentally appropriate media literacy.
01:08:04
Speaker 1: How doctor, doctor Widley, how are we as a society learning sexuality over the over the generations and has the emphasis on sexuality wellness, what's healthy, what's not healthy, what's good, what's not good?
01:08:23
Speaker 2: Has that has that shifted?
01:08:25
Speaker 1: You know, with the times and in the culture you know the music even you know, even before social media became a big thing. Music at some point in time I recalled, you know, in history.
01:08:38
Speaker 2: Was was too sexualized or too much this and not enough that? So how how are we learning?
01:08:46
Speaker 1: And when you do your assessments of couples and and you know through the ages, how.
01:08:52
Speaker 2: How are we learning? And are we learning it the right way? Or I guess if there is such a thing called the right way?
01:08:59
Speaker 6: I think over the generations, sexuality education has changed based on what we get from media slash social media slash uh, maybe the music and culture.
01:09:12
Speaker 4: That if I think about what maybe my.
01:09:14
Speaker 6: Parents and maybe your parents may have learned about sexuality when they were kids in the forties, fifties and maybe sixties, or didn't learn or didn't learn it was through not talking. That whatever you learned about sex, you kind of had to find out from your friends or from the streets, right and in those contexts, if your friends were like my friends, my friends didn't have accurate information, and maybe you didn't have accurate information either. No, So then fast forward to the late nineties early two thousands, with proliferation of the Internet, people were then exposed to more information and more misinformation. So even though there's been more information, more more, more misinformation, and couple still struggle to talk about sexuality. So, for example, I can think of a couple who I had a couple of years ago, where they were, you know, talking about where they wanted to have a conversation about performance related issues regarding the male partner, right, and the male partner even though he experienced a rectile dysfunction, the rectil dysfunction before sexual intercourse, he really struggled to talk about it.
01:10:28
Speaker 4: So when they came in to see me.
01:10:30
Speaker 6: We talked about what both of them learned about sex while they were growing up, and what they had learned was to not talk. And the assumption is that when people get together for a long term relationship that both partners are competent and skilled enough to.
01:10:44
Speaker 4: Talk about sexuality.
01:10:45
Speaker 6: And I would say seven out of ten times they aren't skilled.
01:10:48
Speaker 4: And competent enough to talk about sexuality, which is why therapy is important.
01:10:53
Speaker 6: So so nowadays, you know, people still struggle with those same issues, but there is more information online and you know.
01:11:01
Speaker 4: Maybe in through our social cultural.
01:11:05
Speaker 6: Channels in terms of what we watch on TV and what we see in the movies. Where people can be more sexual, but more often than not, individuals and couples they struggle to talk about it.
01:11:15
Speaker 12: Well, it's kind of like other things that people come from different families and that everybody makes assumptions that what you want in a relationship, a long term, committed relationship or marriage. When you say I want to have, you know, a committed relationship, what that means to one person might mean something different, and so the expectations what the one partner is supposed to do, the male versus the female, and things like that, and everybody comes together assuming that they know or that your partner would know what you want. If you say I want you to listen to me, you assume that listening means X, y Z, and it might mean something different to the other person. And so that's just what happens with all of us because we come from different families, different cultures, different languages, different expectations. So the same thing then is true when it comes to sexuality, and it's it's much more complex, but the communication is the key.
01:12:17
Speaker 2: Are we healthier, doctor Hayes?
01:12:18
Speaker 1: Are we mentally well and mentally healthier today than perhaps maybe when you first started practicing.
01:12:25
Speaker 2: Let's let's let's use that as a wrong complex.
01:12:29
Speaker 12: I would say, because well, you know, I go on to the community things. So you know, we used to live in some ways in a communal environment. And so if you couldn't talk to your parents, maybe you had an older cousin or maybe you had someone down the street that you could talk to. And now we and we became much more mobile, so you don't have that community.
01:12:55
Speaker 7: It doesn't look the same.
01:12:56
Speaker 12: A lot of times, you don't know your neighbors, the kids are not going to school in their neighborhoods, and so is just much more fragmented, I think. And so I think what would have been kind of a supportive community even I mean churches used to be part of your community. Now people drive across town, you know, all those kind of things. You don't even sometimes know that somebody goes to your church, you know. And so I just think that that's what gets in the way of us being able to feel connected. And I think then the internet comes into play that you know, you have the sometimes intimate conversations with people you've never met, you know, or they might not even be real.
01:13:50
Speaker 7: You know. There's the captains.
01:13:52
Speaker 1: People that are dating bought. Yes, yeah, I saw a peace on that of it. I still can't get my head around it, but yes, yes, for whatever reason, that's yeah.
01:14:00
Speaker 12: And then you have people that are intentional, you know, with malicious intent to get money and all that.
01:14:06
Speaker 7: Kind of stuff.
01:14:07
Speaker 12: So online dating, yeah, so uh, there's I just think there's a lot of things that make life more complicated. And so I think it's different for younger people that grow up in this area, so it needs a lot more difference to them than it does to you.
01:14:27
Speaker 3: And I.
01:14:28
Speaker 12: Uh but and then as parents, how do you connect because the internet is changing, technology is changing, you know fact not day by day by.
01:14:39
Speaker 7: Moments, so.
01:14:42
Speaker 2: Go ahead.
01:14:43
Speaker 12: So just just in terms of health, I mean there are I mean we're just humans, you know, And so I think having connections is always, you know, in the past and.
01:14:56
Speaker 7: Currently I think is what makes the difference.
01:14:59
Speaker 12: And a theme that I'm working with some young people at my church about is how to be your authentic self and to look at what you see on the internet is all right and you're trying to emulate that. Or you see musicians and rappers and influencers and all of them and you think they're cool.
01:15:25
Speaker 7: The question was what is cool?
01:15:28
Speaker 12: So why can't How do you learn to be comfortable with yourself and recognize that what cool looks like for you is different from somebody else?
01:15:38
Speaker 7: And so all of.
01:15:40
Speaker 12: That I think is connected to being being authentic and being healthy.
01:15:49
Speaker 1: They say in relationships, and this is just basically from what I've read and heard, the two I guess the two issues that come up the most are money and or you know, in relationships, and they also tend to be the two hardest things to discuss for people to discuss in general. Why are we so unwilling? Why is sex so taboo too? You know, in a healthy way? But yeah, I guess maybe my question should be how do we find the healthy way to talk about it as being a human? And again I'm probably miss mixing up, but you see what I'm saying without being you know, because if you talk about it in a certain way, you know, people are going to look at you, you know, like judge you no, we don't talk or you know. And so even in talking about it, not necessarily with your partner, but maybe with your best friends about your relationship with your partner, you have to pick the right friend that you know is going to receive it and understand it as opposed to judge.
01:16:57
Speaker 2: So we tend as a society sometimes.
01:17:00
Speaker 1: To judge people based on what they say or how they feel sexually.
01:17:06
Speaker 2: So how has that improved at all? And that, you know, I.
01:17:11
Speaker 1: Can see where that would be out of balance mentally in a lot of ways.
01:17:15
Speaker 7: I don't know, doctor Widelee.
01:17:16
Speaker 12: What do you see to me? It's it's kind of people are the same, oh, okay all the time. I think younger people are much more open. So I think fifty five and plus I think are still influenced by World War two values and I think, uh, parents, grandparents, all of that. Yeah, you don't talk about that, you know, just do it close, turn the.
01:17:44
Speaker 2: Light you don't do that.
01:17:45
Speaker 12: Yeah, you know, just said night, you turn the lights off, do it and that's it.
01:17:50
Speaker 7: Yeah.
01:17:52
Speaker 12: But uh, Dr Widelee, what do you think.
01:17:57
Speaker 6: I would say that adun't struggle talking about sex.
01:18:02
Speaker 4: And money because they haven't practiced it. They didn't really talk about it when they were kids. They didn't.
01:18:09
Speaker 6: They had a hard time talking about it when they were teenagers and young adults.
01:18:12
Speaker 4: And so when two people.
01:18:13
Speaker 6: Get together in their twenties, thirties, forties, whatever, they have difficulty having those conversations with their partners. Parents need to teach their kids about financial literacy, Parents need to teach their kids about sex. But more often than not, parents are unsure about how to navigate those sensitive conversations and then decide that they're not going to talk to their kids about it and let their kids.
01:18:37
Speaker 4: Figure it out on their own.
01:18:39
Speaker 6: And more often than not, their kids don't figure it out on their own until their credit is ruined or they've acquired a sex with transmitted infection.
01:18:47
Speaker 7: So unless you have a parent that's a therapist.
01:18:51
Speaker 12: Like I was and not had multiple conversations but yeah, yeah, I ready to go to college. Yeah, had some kids to lunch, including my daughter, and we had a conversation, Yes, that's great, questions and everything.
01:19:06
Speaker 1: I worked with the guy whose mom worked at Planned Parenthood, okay, and he said every since all his siblings they were all very young. She was very frank, very open, very direct, and they they feel like they, you know, have a pretty healthy, healthy balance.
01:19:22
Speaker 4: There.
01:19:22
Speaker 2: We have a caller that has a question.
01:19:24
Speaker 1: Before we get too far off off the and going to another area of three one seven, four eight, zero thirteen ten three one seven for eight zero thirteen ten. If you'd like to join the conversation, Samuel L. Jackson, go ahead. How are you?
01:19:38
Speaker 13: Hey, Tina?
01:19:39
Speaker 14: Hey?
01:19:40
Speaker 2: Hey Sam? That depends man.
01:19:42
Speaker 14: Yes, And I want to say hello to your guests there and my buddy Eric, uh.
01:19:47
Speaker 9: Doctor, I got a question for you, and if at the question.
01:19:53
Speaker 4: Back in nineteen ninety, we was in.
01:19:55
Speaker 13: Devil's Storm, okay, and when I was sold to just have retired, and he was fifty I think he was fifty nine years old whatever he was, and he was on high blood pressing medication okay.
01:20:11
Speaker 14: Yeah, he was talking to this lady okay, and she didn't know he was on the high blood pressure medication. And I'm telling you telling me. The man died and they brought the MPs in about the lady that killed him with a gun at night, and they said, no, it's the high blood pressure medication is presence shot.
01:20:31
Speaker 4: So far it's actually killed him because of this lady.
01:20:34
Speaker 14: So my thought is, how do you approach somebody and asked him, look, y'a, are you wing this type of medication? And if so, what kind you own before we get involved, because I don't want to be killing nobody. You get my grip Yeah, eighty five percent of the population on some type of medications here in the US.
01:20:57
Speaker 4: They know that's the truth.
01:20:59
Speaker 14: So how do you approach somebody and affle about you want to talk medication before you really get involved? Oh, if you want to do my point to live?
01:21:07
Speaker 4: Okay, do you want to respond or you going to respond?
01:21:12
Speaker 7: You can start and not pick up.
01:21:14
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, thanks for calling in. First of all, thank you for your service. Here's that.
01:21:21
Speaker 6: In terms of having conversations about medication, I agree that those conversations need to be had before you decide to partner with somebody in that way, not only should you have a conversation about medication, but you also should have a conversation about you know, your sex history that have you ever acquired a sex who transmitted infection?
01:21:42
Speaker 4: And it's so what is it viral? Is it bacteria?
01:21:46
Speaker 6: Have you ever how many partners have you had, how many unprotected encounters have you had?
01:21:51
Speaker 4: And so just slowing the process down before you pull your pants down really.
01:21:56
Speaker 6: Goes a long way, because you don't want to end up in a circumstance like your coague who maybe took too much medication of this or that and unfortunately end up losing their lives from it.
01:22:08
Speaker 12: Yeah, and I would just add thank you again for your service. And you know, sometimes people will take medication to help them perform, and that also could be a conflict with the medication that they're supposed to be on. Are sometimes certain medications causes people not to be able to function and so they stop taking the medication. So there are a lot of different dynamics that could be there. And so I think having really open conversations with your medical providers is important because they understand that you may want to have an intimate relationship and so ask them how can you do that? What can you do? You know, and don't just close your eyes and just hope for the best. So but certainly, you know, I would recommend that anyone getting ready to have sex unprotected would have your both of you go get tested and see what the deal is.
01:23:09
Speaker 7: You know what the report card is.
01:23:11
Speaker 1: Indeed, all righty, well, well, thank you, thank you, mister Jackson, and we'll be talking with you again soon.
01:23:18
Speaker 2: I'm sure, I know, I know you.
01:23:20
Speaker 1: All righty, thank you, and we need to take a quick break right here. But doctor, doctor Hayes, you have a you had a question and you made a comment a little while ago about misconceptions about sexual wellness as we age, and I'd like to get into that a little more because we have a we have a more mature audience in a lot of ways, although we have young we want young folks here too.
01:23:44
Speaker 2: So we'll be right back right after this break.
01:23:58
Speaker 8: Let's get back to the conversation. It's Community Connection with Tina Cosby on phrase Am thirteen ten ninety five point one FM.
01:24:08
Speaker 1: And we're back with Community Connection, one of those conversations.
01:24:11
Speaker 2: During the break, Eric and Doctor Wadley, and we'll share. We'll share I was. I was sharing with doctor Hayes here that I was.
01:24:20
Speaker 1: I was one night I was just binge watching some old Bernie Mac shows, right yeah, And there was an episode where there was a party Jordan and the boy in the series, Young Young Boy in the series had a birthday party and he and some of his friends had snuck off from the party and went to his room and they were playing some kind of version of Spin the bottle and whatever number you got, that's how long you had to stay with the girl in the closet and.
01:24:44
Speaker 2: You had to kiss her for that long.
01:24:45
Speaker 1: Jordan won because he stayed the longest, and a couple of days later, the little girl caught a virus or something. She was sick, and his friends in the hallway in his school said, you got her pregnant.
01:24:55
Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, no, you know, I got her pregnant.
01:24:58
Speaker 1: And it was you know, it went south from there, you know, comedy and things of that nature. And Bernie's wife on the show said, it's pastime for you to talk to him about, you know, the birds and the bees.
01:25:10
Speaker 2: So what do they call it? The birds in the bees? Maybe you all know that.
01:25:13
Speaker 7: I don't know.
01:25:14
Speaker 2: Why is it called the birds and the bees?
01:25:17
Speaker 1: But anyway to have the talk with him, and uh, you know, Bernie, being the comedian that he is, said he ought to let him keep walking around thinking he got a girl pregnant by kissing her. He said, that's what I did because he should have been out there, he shouldn't have been in the closet and all this other stuff, which leads you know that that's another layer too of what have you. But the you know, the misconceptions that that kids can have at such an age. And I guess we can back up a little bit. What is you talked about? It you you touched on it a little bit, uh, doctor wildly. But what's the right age to start talking to children about sex? I guess or their sexuality or you know, I don't I don't know how you would put it.
01:26:00
Speaker 2: But what's the right age to start?
01:26:03
Speaker 6: So the right age to start is when kids start talking, right, So if you think about eighteen months to too eighteen months to two year old, they start to learn about gender and whether or not they'll identify as a boy or a girl, or or non binary. And also they'll begin to have conversations about their bodies. So if you can think about what we teach kids about their bodies, we say, this is your head, this is your nose, This.
01:26:34
Speaker 4: Is your shoulders, These are your lips, these are.
01:26:36
Speaker 6: Your should these are your shoulders. But this is your chest or your breast or and then you move a little bit further. For those families who operate from a space of shame, they'll say this is your stuff, you'r we we your snatch, your sang thang or whatever, rather than giving it rather the proper or the medical term, this is your penis and this is your vulva.
01:26:59
Speaker 4: So then as kids get older, they begin to think.
01:27:02
Speaker 6: Expansively about sexuality, not only in terms of their bodies, but also how they are able to negotiate friendships. Right, and most families teach their kids that healthy friendships involve truth and honesty and caring and sharing and compassion and all those other things that may fall under their value system. Now, when kids hit middle school, conversations about.
01:27:26
Speaker 4: Sexuality they change.
01:27:27
Speaker 6: Why, because kids' bodies continue to change.
01:27:30
Speaker 4: Some kids, when they hit puberty, they don't know why.
01:27:33
Speaker 6: They start to develop pubic hair or hair under their arms, or their best breasts begin to develop, or their shoulders become broadener their or their voices become deeper. So families are encouraged again to have developmentally appropriate conversations with their kids as their kids' age. But some parents are uncomfortable talking about bodies because nobody ever talks to them about their body or the changes that their bodies have.
01:27:58
Speaker 4: Let me use an example. So if when.
01:28:01
Speaker 6: Some girls experience their first menstruation or experience monarchy, right, some parents or some women are comfortable talking about the monthly discharge that they may have and there and the way that their bodies begin to change from being a girl to a woman and being able to have children. In contrast, most men don't have conversations with their adolescent boys about their first nocturnal emission or their first wet dream. It's just something that happens. So when boys experience that first nocturnal emission or their wet dream, there may there may be some shame around it because they may have thought that they eat in the bed, and if there hasn't been a conversation before that, then it's more difficult for.
01:28:50
Speaker 4: Right, it can be traumatic. So is there an age. Yeah, you talk to their kids as soon as.
01:28:56
Speaker 6: They can, you know, use language and you know, speak in sentences about life. But then you don't omit having conversations about sexuality.
01:29:06
Speaker 12: And I think that gets right to what sexual wellness is. You know, it's when it's healthy. It's you have the information. You invite children to ask you questions, you know, or if you hear kids whispering and you say.
01:29:23
Speaker 7: Oh, let me tell you hear the facts.
01:29:25
Speaker 12: Get some If you don't know, you know, because your parents didn't teach you.
01:29:30
Speaker 7: But you want to teach.
01:29:31
Speaker 12: Your children, then get some books, get some do some research, find things that reflects your values. But still it's based on science and information, and so you don't find information out so that you know how to talk to them.
01:29:49
Speaker 1: Balance healthy, balance the question that you the conversation that you've had and started. Misconceptions about sex as as is aging or waitman, let me put let me see what are the misconceptions about sexual wellness?
01:30:04
Speaker 2: Okay, as we age? What is a healthy Yes?
01:30:07
Speaker 12: Yes, so you know, I think you know there's there's the gamut. But there is a notion that as people get older they lose interest in sex. I think there's a lot of people that feel like they don't want to have sex anymore. A lot of it may be related to medical concerns, being hurt, you know.
01:30:29
Speaker 7: All of those things.
01:30:30
Speaker 12: If someone loses someone and they are a widow or a widower, they might just say, I'm not going to be with anybody else ever again, or you get hurt, somebody cheats on you, things like that. And then again there's the medical thing. So if you have, you know, a cancer that impacts your breast and you have to have a masectomy and things like that, that might make you feel unattractive. Men may have prostate cancer and not be able to perform, and so who do you talk to about that. You know, you should be able to talk to your physician, your primary care your oncologist or someone like that without the fear of being judged. But I think sometimes we're so ashamed that we just don't even know how to approach it or who to talk to about it. And then, you know, I think, and you can correct me if I'm wrong on this, James, but I think sometimes men are less likely to want to talk about it because you're supposed to be kind of macho, you know, and you don't want to really talk about a erectile dysfunction, you know, even the commercial on the Pironi's disease where the penis has a curve in it, you know. I think, yeah, I think people, you know, they joke about it, and I just think there's.
01:31:55
Speaker 7: It would be more healthy to be able.
01:31:58
Speaker 12: To have those conversas sations because people do share, you know, and and the men that I know that have had prostate cancer, using that as an example, there's other things, will encourage their brothers, you know, to go get the prostate exam, that that's important. But I don't know that they have the conversation about how do you manage your intimacy after that, but it's important. We still are humans, we still want to have the intimacy, and that's that's what I think. You know, there are medications that uh, that you can take, and you know, are there other ways to be intimate. It always doesn't have to be uh intercourse, you know, and so uh and I said that word?
01:32:46
Speaker 7: Can I say that word on the radio?
01:32:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, go ahead, you already did so.
01:32:49
Speaker 12: Not absolutely so, but I think I think we need to understand that intimacy could be holding hands, it can be.
01:32:58
Speaker 7: Hugs, you know, there you'd be the conversation.
01:33:01
Speaker 12: There are a lot of different things that you can do to maintain that, so the sex doesn't have to die as you get older.
01:33:10
Speaker 7: And I think and.
01:33:13
Speaker 12: STDs STIs are still rampant. So you're not safe, because shareholder, you're not safe.
01:33:21
Speaker 7: You know, you do need to get tested.
01:33:23
Speaker 12: You need to know if your partner has been tested, you know, are they on medication things like that. So the game is still out there and you need to know the rules.
01:33:35
Speaker 4: You know.
01:33:35
Speaker 1: One of the saddest stories that pertaining to what you both said had to do with a friend of mine, her sister, her sister's husband at a.
01:33:46
Speaker 2: Very young age, fairly young age, I think.
01:33:48
Speaker 1: Late thirties early forties, had to have surgery for prostate cancer, lost a lot of ability, if not all ability there and totally checked out of humanity. And she did everything except stand on her head and upside down and reassuring him, I'm not going to leave you.
01:34:02
Speaker 2: I'm here for you.
01:34:03
Speaker 1: There's just like you said, there's other ways this is. This doesn't mean we have a good thing. He totally disengaged from her, his family, and you know, just even moved to another Yeah, and it affected her to the point where she started, you know, she couldn't handle it because she thought she started internalizing thinking, you know, that it was her or whatever. But he would not he would not go to the doctor, you know, to a therapist or what have you. And so the devastation of the mental wellness in that relationship because you know, he had to have it or he would have you know.
01:34:40
Speaker 2: And he's still around.
01:34:41
Speaker 1: I mean this was this was about twenty twenty five years ago. He's still around. He hasn't left the house, but he's left the relationship. Yes, he hasn't left the house, he's left the relationship. And she has found comfort, and you know, I don't I wouldn't know if she's an addict or not, but she's certainly.
01:35:00
Speaker 2: Abuses a lot, uses a lot of alcohol. And it's just just one of the saddest stories.
01:35:06
Speaker 1: And it all centers around him losing his ability to perform and not understanding and not wanting I guess to understand. So that's where the mental health and mental wellness part of it can come in. And that's a that's a tragic example, but I've seen it in real life well.
01:35:23
Speaker 12: And I would say that the issue really started before he got ill.
01:35:28
Speaker 7: It was in communication.
01:35:30
Speaker 12: What extent can they have that level of intimacy in their conversation?
01:35:35
Speaker 2: I wonder about that too.
01:35:36
Speaker 1: I I don't know her sister as well as I know her, and I just knew him great guy. Well it still is probably, but just just simply checked out and will not will not rejoin, will not rejoin humanity.
01:35:49
Speaker 15: So if I can add something now, the tragedy with this circumstances that the gentleman would do his entire being down to his.
01:36:02
Speaker 2: Penis, Yes, exactly.
01:36:04
Speaker 6: He didn't think that he had anything else to offer besides the function of his penis. From the outside looking in, it's like, oh my gosh, it's crazy. I'm sure that he was a nice guy. I'm sure they met each other, fell in love, and had a lot of commonalities. But somewhere in there that perception of himself became distorted. So had there been a conversation when he was maybe a boy or about his value and his worth and that his worth extends beyond the function of his penis, maybe in this particular relationship, he would have felt more positively about himself by having a conversation with his partners saying, well, you know what I experienced in a rectile dysfunction, but there are a thousand.
01:36:49
Speaker 4: Other things that you and I can use axherence pleasure in the bedroom.
01:36:53
Speaker 6: So because he didn't have that competency or that skill set, obviously you know they are in disconnected.
01:37:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like I was saying, didn't leave the house, which means he still pays all the bills in the house, takes care of everything. So I think there were two, probably two I guess, missions or roles that he felt he had to provide and to provide, you know, for lack of a better phrase, Yeah, this is what you this is what a man does he pays the bills?
01:37:22
Speaker 7: And I think that's so core to sexual wellness.
01:37:26
Speaker 12: So you know, some men feel like that that that is all they have or to produce children, you know. And so it still is very penile focused, slex very much. And and women can be part of that too, you know. And you know, make fun if someone's penis is not a certain.
01:37:48
Speaker 7: Size and all of that. But it comes.
01:37:52
Speaker 12: From where we get our messages about who we are, what we have to offer, and what does connections, What do connections look like?
01:38:02
Speaker 7: What is intimacy?
01:38:04
Speaker 12: Intimacy can be emotional as well as physical, and so sometimes people just assume that intimacy means just something sexual, and it doesn't.
01:38:15
Speaker 7: It's so much more.
01:38:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, doctor Widley, How do we get from there to hear? How do how do we get how do we get healthier?
01:38:22
Speaker 4: How do we get healthier?
01:38:23
Speaker 6: We have to be willing, willing to have sensitive conversations and be willing to listen.
01:38:30
Speaker 4: To one another so that way we can learn about who they are and what they may be interested in.
01:38:36
Speaker 6: H I think that we need to have a different set of conversations with our kids that are developmentally appropriate and offer them the time and the space and the care and the compassion that they need in order to share honestly and candidly.
01:38:53
Speaker 4: And I think finally, we need.
01:38:54
Speaker 6: To revisit and reimagine who we are as sexual beings. That are sexual beings shouldn't be limited to our genitals. Being a sexual being is as one exists. As a sexual being, one can consider who they are physically, emotionally, sexually, intimately, and spiritually, so that way they can have a different kind of and more in depth connection with their partners.
01:39:18
Speaker 1: We got time, I think. Yeah, Eric says, we do real quick. Another question, Joyce, go ahead, you have a question for the doctors.
01:39:26
Speaker 16: Yeah, it probably won't be real quick, but I'm thinking these generalizations ain't helping nobody. You know, you do no better. You do better All my life I wanted to be a parent, you know. At eighteen when I wasn't married, out felt like oh may but hey it was my upbringing. Everybody around me was married.
01:39:46
Speaker 1: And Okay, I'm sorry, but go ahead, because we're gonna I don't want to run out of time.
01:39:52
Speaker 2: I want you to get your point out.
01:39:53
Speaker 1: No, I hear you, Okay, No, go ahead and get your point across I'm just saying.
01:40:00
Speaker 16: It's the narrative, the picture you're painting. If I, at age six knew I wanted to be a mother's because I had most father in the house and life was lovely. I mean, you know, and even if life ain't lovely, you don't want a child in the closet and no feed them. That's abnormal. Uh, some of these behaviors are abnormal. But do y'all want to coddle it? I I don't know how that go. But I raised my kids to know they were sitting on diamondizes. I raised daughters.
01:40:31
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good, Okay, okay, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, Dr Wadler.
01:40:36
Speaker 6: No, I was just affirming what she said, Like, you know, I raised my daughters to feel like they sit on diamonds.
01:40:42
Speaker 4: And I said, I know that's right, because that's the way I think our.
01:40:45
Speaker 6: Parents should raise their kids and raise them like they feel like their kings and queens and that their value extends beyond their genitalia.
01:40:52
Speaker 11: Yeah.
01:40:53
Speaker 1: Absolutely, indeed, Doctor Widely. If someone wants to get a hold of you or find out more about you, website, phone number, Yeah, they.
01:41:00
Speaker 6: Can reach out to me at doctor James wadi dot com and they can send a query if they have an interest in meeting with me either through coaching or as a therapist in Pennsylvania, Connecticut as well as New Jersey.
01:41:12
Speaker 7: Uh smell your last thing.
01:41:15
Speaker 4: Please thank you for asking.
01:41:18
Speaker 6: My website is d R j A M E s W A D L E.
01:41:23
Speaker 4: Y dot com. Doctor James Wadley dot com.
01:41:27
Speaker 1: Indeed great, it's good to hear from you and we I can't thank you enough for joining us today. This has really been enlightening and I would love to have you back sometime when when you have time, because I looked you up and you.
01:41:40
Speaker 2: Got you got a lot going on.
01:41:42
Speaker 1: Uh, but we really thank you for taking the time out to share with us today. And again, uh yeah, all the best this this has been great.
01:41:50
Speaker 4: So much for having me indeed, thank you all.
01:41:53
Speaker 1: And doctor you too, thank you and doctor Hayes. If someone wants to find out more about you, you.
01:41:58
Speaker 12: Can reach me at three one seven three seven two zero seven eight eight. And in July we're going to have part two of this conversation with a medical professional.
01:42:09
Speaker 2: For medical reasons, yeah yeah.
01:42:10
Speaker 12: Medications and understanding a little bit more about the body bodily functions.
01:42:15
Speaker 4: Wow.
01:42:15
Speaker 2: Wow.
01:42:16
Speaker 12: And she's a psychologist and a registered nurse, so I'm gonna have both.
01:42:22
Speaker 1: Okay, looking forward to that, and that'll be the end of July, close to the end of July. Okay, Part two is coming up. So much for having Thank you doctor Hayes again, Thank you Doctor Widley, thank you for calling and as always for listening. That is all the time we have for right now. Willie Moore Junior on the radio is up next. Yes he is, Eric you know.
01:42:46
Speaker 3: He's about to take the mic shortly. He's you guys done, not yet yet, Not.
01:42:52
Speaker 1: Yet, Williemore, not yet. We'll give it to you just a second. Our nephew, the nephew indeed. Anyway, thanks everyone for joining us again. We'll be back tomorrow for all of us here at Community Connection.
01:43:02
Speaker 2: I'm Tina Kashmi.
01:43:05
Speaker 10: M hm
01:43:08
Speaker 4: Hm h
Speaker 1: Contributor to good mental health, that being good sexual health. She'll explain all that that's coming up in our second hour a little later this.
00:00:10
Speaker 2: Hour, political journalist and radio host abdulah Team Shabbaz.
00:00:14
Speaker 1: Yes, Abdul is going to be he's with our sister States. He's with the station group and we we talk, you know, we have conversations, and so he's gonna he's gonna be sitting in and joining us. He'll have the latest on what happened at that contentious GOP state convention this week. I know, but he was right there. He had a front row seat. So yeah, it was a convention that saw the party faithful give the boot to incumbent Secretary of State Diego Morales. So that's about thirty minutes from now. He'll be here shortly, y'all.
00:00:54
Speaker 2: Old Diego got the boot, He got the boots.
00:00:57
Speaker 1: I don't know where he's going and he you know, but he yeah, they said you are not welcome here, no more in the club.
00:01:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yet he could still run again. Oh yeah, he probably will.
00:01:07
Speaker 2: I'm sure he's not.
00:01:10
Speaker 1: You if he were, and maybe he will. Maybe Abdul has some intel on that.
00:01:15
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:01:15
Speaker 3: That's possible, but.
00:01:18
Speaker 1: I would think that if he was suspending his campaign, it would have been news.
00:01:23
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's staying the course for right now.
00:01:27
Speaker 1: Speaking right now, the Indianapolis Urban League is right now hosting their annual Equal Opportunity Day luncheon at the Indiana Convention Center. Their keynote speaker is national voting rights advocate and former Georgia politician Stacy Abrams Eric And like I said, that's underway now. I was down there earlier to talk to Stacy Abrams with other members of the media down at the Indiana Convention Center. I wasn't able to stay for the for her presentation and for the line because I had to be back here for the show.
00:02:02
Speaker 2: But wow, she's she's very impressive.
00:02:07
Speaker 3: Absolutely so. I have heard her speak, not in person, but she is most definitely she's she's.
00:02:14
Speaker 2: And you know, we were.
00:02:15
Speaker 1: You know, when I was staying, I thought I was tall, and I am to a degree. I guess it depends, although I'm not so tall anymore because maybe the average woman now is five ten.
00:02:25
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:02:26
Speaker 3: And you're taken to a fact take into account the basketball.
00:02:29
Speaker 1: Players, yeah, they are, some of them, they're messing with the averages too. Well they are, yeah, but anyway, she was. She was a lot taller than what. I don't know why I thought she was going to be very short.
00:02:41
Speaker 2: She's a lot taller.
00:02:42
Speaker 3: You know, TV gives that effect. They can give that a fact or video. It's like, oh they're not that tall. Sometimes much taller than you think.
00:02:49
Speaker 1: And incredibly incredibly accommodating. I mean, she could not have been nicer, could not have been friends of loss and you and I have done this long enough to know, and I think that it's no secret we could share. You have to roll the dice when you're meeting celebrities, people in the public eye or what have you, because some of them are just going to be absolutely a pleasure and a joy. Others, you know, you can't wait to get away from.
00:03:15
Speaker 3: That's so true.
00:03:16
Speaker 2: She both We have both.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've had both, and it's it's been unfortunate because you know, kind of like people that you've known and seen whatever, and then they come here and clown, you know, clown.
00:03:29
Speaker 3: You think you think it's like, this person's going to be what you saw, but then it turns out.
00:03:35
Speaker 2: Not to be.
00:03:35
Speaker 4: The dice.
00:03:36
Speaker 2: But that was not the case with her.
00:03:38
Speaker 1: Again, she could not have been more accommodating, friendlier, more forthcoming than she was. I mean she stood for pictures she did. Oh yeah, she did a lot. Yeah yeah, got some pictures her. Huh. And she's she was just great and and not to mention, just brilliantly astute about everything going on in her arena, which is you know, politics, voting, women's rights, small business, and things of that nature. So, as I was saying shortly before the luncheon and before she speaks, the luncheon's underway right now.
00:04:14
Speaker 3: It's happening at this moment.
00:04:16
Speaker 1: Actually, it might be just about wrapping up because it was eleven thirty to one. Oh okay, so it probably is just about wrapping up. But anyway, she met with members of the media, including me and our sister stations.
00:04:31
Speaker 2: We were all there.
00:04:32
Speaker 1: So let's take a listen to one on one I had with her.
00:04:36
Speaker 5: All Right, we are in the midst of an authoritarian rise right now.
00:04:40
Speaker 6: Technically we are.
00:04:42
Speaker 5: The United States is a competitive authoritarian nation, and what that means is that they are trying to hoard power. They're trying to take power from communities, but they're also trying to convince us that we never had power to begin with. And that means that the responsibility of every community, every democratic leaning person, not small not big D politics, but small D democracy is that we've got to fight back. We've got to believe that this is our nation and that we have the right to set the course in the agenda. And that's why the community is so important. This is not a top down someone's going to come in and save us. We've got to save ourselves, and that means we've got to show up at the polls, but we also have to show up in the offices where politicians hould power, and we've got to show up in community, reminding people why democracy matters so much. In the abstract, democracy feels remote to so many. It's why ninety million Americans who were eligible to vote didn't do so in twenty twenty four. Now is the time for us to reconnect our lived experiences to what democracy can deliver. And that means remembering that we're in this together.
00:05:49
Speaker 2: What does that look like?
00:05:51
Speaker 5: Well, I recently launched a project called the Ten Steps Campaign, and the first ten steps are explaining how democracy has been overthrown by the current regime in America. We've got to understand that it may look different, but it's true. But then the next ten steps are how we regain freedom and power. That means committing to understanding where we are, means sharing what we know, but it also means organizing and mobilizing, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. But all that means is, if you see a problem, do something about it. It's what Americans have done, It's what people of color have done. It's why June teenth is a celebratory moment for us because someone got some information, they committed to understanding, then they shared that news, and then the sharing they change the future of America.
00:06:36
Speaker 2: Business owner, aggressive about your ambition? What does that look like?
00:06:40
Speaker 5: Being aggressive about your ambition means you don't shirk from opportunity, but you also don't hide from your capacity. Too often we are told that you are supposed to be humble, but what they mean is self effacing. Self effacing is oh, I can't do it, I didn't do it. Humble is I did it, but I'm I'm not the only one who can. I am aggressive in my ambition because I want more for my people, I want more for my nation. I want more for my world, and you can't do that from a place of timidity very quickly.
00:07:11
Speaker 2: As broadcasters, what can.
00:07:12
Speaker 5: We do absolutely share the truth right now? We are in a moment where propaganda is replacing truth and where people have a fractured sense of reality. They can curate what they know, give them a reason to actually trust what you say. Cover the news that people don't often get to hear, and don't lean into the person, don't lean into what people tell you to say. Say what you know people need to hear. Media does not mean not having an opinion. It means using the facts to shape how people understand the world they're in.
00:07:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, and wanted to explain something.
00:07:49
Speaker 1: We were on such a tight time frame because myself and then from our sister station, RYANBC.
00:07:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had five minutes between the both of us.
00:08:02
Speaker 3: Wow.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I was just jumping.
00:08:06
Speaker 1: I was trying to get an answer and so many I couldn't follow up on any anything because of the time constraints. And that last question when I said very quickly, I had to get it in. I cheated a little bit because I had and he too. We're going to have some of his sound as well, because he went in another direction, which was good. And and her you know, her information was good. I was, you know, I was just thinking what what would work best for our listeners. Uh And and I think the community organizing part of it. Do something, get out there and vote.
00:08:41
Speaker 7: You know.
00:08:42
Speaker 1: It just underscores what we've been saying on the regular for forever. And then the the thing about the media. And I loved what she said about the media. You don't have you got to stay with the facts. And basically she she he was right. And and this is something that James and I have been talking about a lot, and how the national media is so him packed.
00:09:08
Speaker 3: Now that's true.
00:09:10
Speaker 1: I mean it's hard to even watch because is this the news or is it the Donald Trump Show? You wonder that you wonder every single day, every minute of every cast that you have certain outlets it's him him him him him.
00:09:28
Speaker 2: Yeah. And they you know, they've been right.
00:09:31
Speaker 1: You know, they talk about folks who work with him and for him, how they've been radicalized. I don't think that they realize that they too have been radicalized to the point where they think they have to hang on every word, be there for everything that he says, and and and kick back every word, even though they know that it's not true. And I thought his journalists were supposed to tell the truth.
00:09:53
Speaker 2: Tell the truth.
00:09:54
Speaker 1: But what they do, and I've said this a thousand times, they will deliberately play something.
00:09:59
Speaker 2: They Noah's not true. That gets out first.
00:10:03
Speaker 1: And then they say, oh, but this isn't you know, there is no evidence to back this up. And this is just not you know, whatever, this is not factual. They should open with that exactly, you know, and then say, okay, here are the facts of this particular situation. Okay, here's what Donald Trump said, and then do it. Do a truth sandwich, so to speak. After he says it, then say it again if you must. If you must, then say it again. So intro with the truth. Let him get on there and tell one of his thirty thousand a day lies or thirty thousand away however was it the New York Times count?
00:10:40
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
00:10:41
Speaker 1: They lost count, they stopped counting, they lost count. Then you know, underscore it or put the exclamation point at the.
00:10:47
Speaker 7: End of it.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: That again, this is a lie, if you must. But my thing is, at what point do they stop broadcasting the lies?
00:10:57
Speaker 2: And I know it's all there's so many things.
00:11:01
Speaker 1: That are tied up with that journalistically for and in the office and things of that nature. But when are you going to realize that you do not have a traditional a traditional figure.
00:11:14
Speaker 3: In that off And some of these journalists they've been doing this for a long time, so you know, they know, they know, they've been, they've been trained to know. Maybe some of the younger journalists you know who are just starting, they've been. You know.
00:11:27
Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's deeper than yeah, because it's your sign. It's what you're assigned to do, is what your assignment editor sends you to, chooses to send you to. It's what your how the producer stacked the show, particularly how they want to and it's how the information that goes past the producer to the executive producer and then the executive producer and the GM you know, they they connect somehow and then the GM is beholding to the stock it's just the stockholders. And so you know, you look at all the graduated steps that can influence and you know, the bottom line, it's not like it used to be.
00:12:03
Speaker 2: There's too much. To me, there's too much influence.
00:12:05
Speaker 3: I mean, I I agree.
00:12:07
Speaker 1: I understand that, you know, the the ads keep the lights on, and our sales department keeps the lights on.
00:12:12
Speaker 3: Keep the lights on.
00:12:13
Speaker 2: But at some point in time, integrity, decency.
00:12:17
Speaker 3: And truth, maybe there's fear, you know, some of those who wanted to tell the truth because of what you just said, you know, the stockholders and all those other people. Well, I want you to say this. You don't say this, then you'll be out of a job, so to speak. In a roundabout way.
00:12:33
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to be curious to see the route this wave of independent journalism takes podcasting, your own people, you know, going on their own show, websites.
00:12:51
Speaker 3: And he has his own Yeah, he has his own. Interesting he has. We talked about it off the air. He has his own. But uh, President Obama could not be on Twitter or anything.
00:13:06
Speaker 1: And the the ultimate irony, i mean, the stink and ultimate irony of Trump's social media site is called Truth. It's called Truth Social I'm sorry, Yeah, that's that's what It's called truth.
00:13:19
Speaker 2: That's the awful the that's the it should be called.
00:13:22
Speaker 1: The awful truth. Because but anyway, no, Obama wasn't even allowed to keep it.
00:13:29
Speaker 3: He couldn't keep his black marries. That was all gone.
00:13:31
Speaker 2: But here's the thing.
00:13:31
Speaker 1: Obama did not exert the influence or didn't say oh yes I am.
00:13:36
Speaker 2: He complied.
00:13:39
Speaker 1: For and and it was it was in the best interest of the country and in the security of the United States security. Yes, for security reasons, and so he acquiesced. Of course I'm gonna I don't want to make our country less safe. And then you've got somebody sitting in a playpen throwing a temper tantrum saying that they want on it, cry baby, and with a pocket full of money and influence and some other stuff. It just yeah, it's just a horrible combination.
00:14:10
Speaker 2: I don't know what else.
00:14:11
Speaker 3: We hear something every day, every every day, throughout the day, into the evenings, overnight. There's something that he's saying. Yeah, previous presidents, you didn't hear anything from generally, you know, a state of union. Maybe if there was a war of some kind that was going to happen, what have you. Then, But that was about it.
00:14:30
Speaker 1: He's not the traditional and he's never going to fit in that mold. No no, and they need to start reporting as such instead of trying to force their reporting their traditional presidential mode type reporting on a person that behaves like a lunatic one minute and a cry baby in a playpen and the next. I mean, I'm they come exaggerating. I mean, those are the descriptions.
00:14:55
Speaker 3: That's unbalanced.
00:14:57
Speaker 1: It's unbalanced. And is anybody reporting bolenced? Yeah, Obama wears a tan suit.
00:15:05
Speaker 3: Is that making a rule or something or it's.
00:15:10
Speaker 1: Just worldwide, it's just something that they chose. But he gets thirty four felony convictions and you know some other stuff I don't know, association with a known pedophile ring, probably one of the most notorious of modern daytime. And his name is associated with this man more than how many thousand times?
00:15:33
Speaker 3: Notice how quiet that's been. Have you heard anything about that. It's been crickets for quite a while.
00:15:39
Speaker 2: Crickets.
00:15:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, radio silence is radio.
00:15:43
Speaker 2: I think that that's cyclical.
00:15:44
Speaker 1: I think that's going to come back because I don't think people are not going to let it go.
00:15:48
Speaker 3: No, they won't. It's out there, it's out there's just being all the other noise is kind of drowning it out at this point.
00:15:59
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:15:59
Speaker 1: But anyway, Stacy Abrams is over there at the Indiana Convention Center as we speak, dropping some really good knowledge on on folks and uh and.
00:16:10
Speaker 2: A call to action.
00:16:11
Speaker 1: What I like about her is every every time she speaks, there's a call to action and she lays it out for you.
00:16:18
Speaker 2: How did it?
00:16:18
Speaker 1: We can We're going to replay that at some point during the show. I think we can replay that. But but yeah, and and she I really respect and admire her, and I think she's got quite a future in whatever it is that she did in politics, advocacy, you name it.
00:16:40
Speaker 2: She she's she's going to be there right in the number, right there in that most definitely. Yep.
00:16:46
Speaker 1: So in fact, I don't can Let's let's play it that. Let's play it again again. Yeah, let's play it again.
00:16:53
Speaker 3: Here it is.
00:16:54
Speaker 5: We are in the midst of an authoritarian rise right now. Technically we are United States is a competitive authoritarian nation. And what that means is that they are trying to hoard power. They're trying to take power from communities, but they're also trying to convince us that we never had power to begin with. And that means that the responsibility of every community, every democratic leaning person, not small not big D politics, but small D democracy, is that we've got to fight back We've got to believe that this is our nation and that we have the right to set the course in the agenda. And that's why the community is so important. This is not a top down someone's going to come in and save us. We've got to save ourselves, and that means we've got to show up at the polls, but we also have to show up in the offices where politicians hold power, and we've got to show up in community, reminding people why democracy matters so much and the abstract democracy feels remote to so many. It's why ninety million Americans who were eligible to vote didn't do so in twenty twenty four. Now is the time for us to reach connect our lived experiences to what democracy can deliver. And that means remembering that we're in this together.
00:18:07
Speaker 2: What does that look like.
00:18:08
Speaker 5: Well, I recently launched a project called the Ten Steps Campaign, and the first ten steps are explaining how democracy has been overthrown by the current regime in America. We've got to understand that it may look different, but it's true. But then the next ten steps are how we regain freedom and power. That means committing to understanding where we are, means sharing what we know, But it also means organizing and mobilizing, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. But all that means is, if you see a problem, do something about it. It's what Americans have done, It's what people of color have done. It's why June teenth is a celebratory moment for us, because someone got some information they committed to understanding, then they shared that news, and then the sharing they change the future of America.
00:18:53
Speaker 2: Business owner, aggressive about your ambition? What does that look like?
00:18:58
Speaker 5: Being aggressive about your ambition means you don't shirk from opportunity, but you also don't hide from your capacity. Too often we are told that you are supposed to be humble, but what they mean is self effacing. Self effacing is oh I can't do it, I didn't do it. Humble is I did it, but I'm not the only one who can. I am aggressive in my ambition because I want more for my people, I want more for my nation, I want more for my world, and you can't do that from a place of timidity.
00:19:28
Speaker 2: Very quickly. As broadcasters, what can we do?
00:19:31
Speaker 7: Absolutely share the truth?
00:19:32
Speaker 2: Right now?
00:19:33
Speaker 5: We are in a moment where propaganda is replacing truth and where people have a fractured sense of reality. They can curate what they know. Give them a reason to actually trust what you say. Cover the news that people don't often get to hear, and don't lean into the person.
00:19:49
Speaker 7: Don't lean into what.
00:19:50
Speaker 5: People tell you to say. Say what you know people need to hear. Media does not mean not having an opinion. It means using the facts to shape how people understand the world they're in.
00:20:03
Speaker 3: Yep, Yeah, absolutely again and very good.
00:20:08
Speaker 2: I like that word she used. Trust she did?
00:20:10
Speaker 3: She did. Trust is so important.
00:20:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we have to be as trustworthy worthy as we possibly can.
00:20:18
Speaker 2: Eric, we didn't do the weather.
00:20:20
Speaker 3: Oh you know, well we need to do that. Well, we go ahead, and I'm gonna James is here at least his weather answer.
00:20:28
Speaker 2: Oh god, where is it? I didn't see it.
00:20:31
Speaker 3: Seventy three degrees as we came on the air is what we are at right now. Seventy three. You've got to hit seventy eight possibly before sunset, and then tonight about fifty six should be Sunday, all afternoon, partly cloudy tonight. How about eighty tomorrow and a whole bunch of sun?
00:20:46
Speaker 2: How about that eighty?
00:20:48
Speaker 3: Now the rain's going to come in tomorrow night or Wednesday night. Yeah, tomorrow night fifty to fifty chance or some showers and better chance on Thursday. Rain on Friday too, right now? Mm hm, not a beautiful summer day right now.
00:21:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just fantastic, fantastic in these first few days of summer.
00:21:08
Speaker 2: So gotta love it. Gotta love it.
00:21:11
Speaker 3: Got alone, you know, I know I do.
00:21:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see James's.
00:21:17
Speaker 3: Gotcha For a second, I say, he's here, really.
00:21:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, he is here.
00:21:20
Speaker 1: I know, abduel and uh doctor, hey.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: Yeah his weather it's his weatherbed. But I played.
00:21:28
Speaker 2: Indeed, yeah the way it was a little cool this.
00:21:30
Speaker 1: Morning, very cool last night, but it was These are the perfect days. I mean the bugs aren't out.
00:21:37
Speaker 3: Oh I love that part.
00:21:38
Speaker 2: You get a lot of bugs on your on your car.
00:21:41
Speaker 3: You know what I do the drive, especially once we get into the middle of summer. I have it washed almost every day because there's bugs in the windshield, bugs just all over the front. And it's almost every day. And some days I'll say I'll wait a day, but it's like, especially as the days get shorter, it really gets intense.
00:22:03
Speaker 2: Hmmm.
00:22:03
Speaker 3: So I'm happy when fall gets here, when they're all gone. Bugs are gone in winter? No bugs?
00:22:08
Speaker 2: Oh really?
00:22:08
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:22:09
Speaker 1: See I always had the worst onslaught of my car bugs when I when I would drive at night in the summertime, you know, like if I was going home or coming home and is dark, I mean it literally would be plastered.
00:22:22
Speaker 3: Though, well it's an onslaught. But if you're driving, because I'm interstate every day in the morning, they can be out there. Sometimes in the morning they're out and about and getting home when I leave because I'm home before dark. But still it's like, where'd all these bugs come from? So they're out there in the early evening sunset flying around. And then add to that, bird droppings. Yeah.
00:22:47
Speaker 2: Have you seen those?
00:22:48
Speaker 1: I don't know if you scroll Instagram or just social media. Have you seen those quote unquote solar bugs zappers?
00:22:55
Speaker 3: Yes?
00:22:55
Speaker 8: I have.
00:22:56
Speaker 3: Are they real?
00:22:57
Speaker 1: I looked it up online and according to AI they are.
00:23:02
Speaker 2: No, they're not.
00:23:03
Speaker 3: Oh they're not.
00:23:04
Speaker 2: But that's says.
00:23:04
Speaker 1: I haven't talked to anybody that's had one who can refute, because sometimes that little A I bought might not tell you exactly that's true.
00:23:11
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's wrong, all right, Yeah, Sometimes it's not right.
00:23:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, well wrong, not right that's the same. Yeah, that's it is, it is, But.
00:23:20
Speaker 1: No, I I would agree, And yeah, I don't know. I you know, I used the old fashioned tiki you know, the tiki lab.
00:23:29
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, those work well, do they?
00:23:31
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:23:32
Speaker 1: My daughter was asking, she said, why don't you buy some of those for the back, for the decks so when we come out here and whatever. Citronella, Yeah, there's citronella burning tiki.
00:23:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, those torches, those do the job. Mosquitoes especially don't like citronella and mint stuff like that. They don't like that kind of stay away.
00:23:54
Speaker 4: You know.
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Something else, If you have a rural type mailbox and it's out by the street, Uh, if you put a dryer sheet inside, spiders will stay away inside inside your mailbox, just inside where they put the mail Just put it inside, just inside anywhere. Uh, spiders will like they'll stay away. Yeah, little hack there. I saw that somewhere and I tried it. Haven't had a problem with spiders since. In the mailbox. There are times that open. What the heck is all this? You know, but it won't be inside. Yeah, I might try that something to try.
00:24:29
Speaker 2: I don't know that I've noticed spiders.
00:24:31
Speaker 3: In my mo I've seen I've seen the spider or the webs in there. It's like, okay, enough of this.
00:24:35
Speaker 2: You know they're on the outside, on.
00:24:37
Speaker 3: The outside, but they get inside sometimes for whatever reason, to keep cool.
00:24:42
Speaker 2: Man, Yeah, to keep cool.
00:24:43
Speaker 1: I'll have to give it, give it a try. So, but yeah, the weather is great. It looked I was looking ahead. It looks like we might have a chance of rain for the next what today is Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
00:24:57
Speaker 3: The night rain Thursday and Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Looks like there's a timber even on Sunday. It's small chance, hopefully nothing like what we had the other day on Fathersday afternoon. That was all Yeah, all those thunderstorms and tornado warnings in south central Indiana.
00:25:18
Speaker 1: Yes, for anybody, you say, we're not in tornado alley or storm movie, they.
00:25:23
Speaker 3: Say we're not, but you wonder and I meteorologists some have said, no, we're not there. We're not there. It's still tornado alleys. Still back out in the planes.
00:25:31
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, okay, okay, okay, all right, Well let's take a quick break right here and we'll come back with more community connection right after this.
00:25:47
Speaker 8: Let's get back to the conversation it's community Connection with Tina Cosby on Praise AM thirteen ten ninety five point one FM.
00:26:00
Speaker 2: And we are back. Indeed, indeed, indeed, huh uh that was five seven.
00:26:09
Speaker 3: Here we are. Yeah, beautiful, beautiful Tuesday. And it looks like it's like the clouds are fading away and loving that. That's wonderful to see nothing but pure sunshine all day long on this Tuesday.
00:26:26
Speaker 2: All day long, all day long. I love the.
00:26:30
Speaker 1: I love what the Urban League did this year with their Evil Opportunity Day luncheon. That's one of their biggest fundraisers of the year. You know, their annual Gala, of course, but the the ee O Day luncheon, And it's more than just a luncheon. I mean they have activities, workshops, uh, I think even the job fair things of those throughout the day and then the luncheon is the highlight. And they always have a hot, pretty high profile keynote speaker. And as we were saying, today's speaker was voting rights activist, author, former Georgia politician, media personality Stacey Abrams, who is taller than what we thought.
00:27:12
Speaker 2: She was much taller, but so very.
00:27:15
Speaker 1: Accommodating, and again, I can't stress enough how much of a pleasure it was to talk to her, even though it was very, very brief. I mean, everybody got maybe two minutes, three minutes.
00:27:26
Speaker 3: With her, and TV stations there too, I'm sure.
00:27:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they were there, and they had the same amount of time. Time pretty much pretty much make that yeah, yeah, so they and you have to you just have to be totally focused, and you had to be mindful of the clock the whole time exactly.
00:27:44
Speaker 2: Which is something I'm glad I picked up.
00:27:46
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I think I'm better at you know, I'm better at not being late or being I'm better at being oblivious to time. Having worked in an industry where you you live by the by the clock, you you have a better appreciation.
00:28:05
Speaker 3: You can time you do everything is time. You have lunch, you have this much time, you take a break for whatever reason, you have this many seconds to do so or maybe a minute or so.
00:28:13
Speaker 2: You know how much time you have, You know how much.
00:28:15
Speaker 3: Time in your head. You're pretty much there.
00:28:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I just sent a reminder speaking of time.
00:28:24
Speaker 1: To mister Abdul. You know what, he's a busy man. He may have got he is.
00:28:28
Speaker 3: He's an attorney as well as isn't.
00:28:30
Speaker 7: He also college.
00:28:33
Speaker 2: On the columnist.
00:28:35
Speaker 3: He is busy.
00:28:36
Speaker 2: He is busy.
00:28:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a contributor on some some TV shows, political TV shows, and he has his own Abdul at Large.
00:28:46
Speaker 3: That's true. He does. Isn't that a large due at large every.
00:28:49
Speaker 2: Saturday, Saturday one to three under U I b C.
00:28:52
Speaker 3: He's doing that.
00:28:53
Speaker 2: And he knows how to get people talking.
00:28:57
Speaker 3: He does, he really does.
00:29:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, he knows how to get.
00:29:01
Speaker 3: People talking and not wanting to stop at some point.
00:29:05
Speaker 1: I always admired. I always enjoyed. I won't see it admired. I always enjoyed his exchanges with Amos.
00:29:12
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, those were always It's kind.
00:29:14
Speaker 1: Of a negro version of the point counterpoint old school exchanges that they used to have on sixty minutes years ago. And I was little, I was little, but I remember seeing that it was Shana and Jack I think their names. I remember that Shana and Jack.
00:29:33
Speaker 2: I got it. I got to look it up.
00:29:35
Speaker 1: But they would you know, one would be ultra conservative, the other ultraliberal, and there was no ground in the middle.
00:29:43
Speaker 3: There as they weren't be on TV for a while.
00:29:47
Speaker 2: I you know, I can't.
00:29:48
Speaker 3: They did some stuff they did they were on TV.
00:29:52
Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, was it? Let me see, I got to figure out their names.
00:29:59
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he and Amos. And then they were on the radio too, right.
00:30:03
Speaker 3: I think they were. I believe they were on at one time, they were on together. So speaking of inspiration, you can be inspired aboard one Voyage doin It twenty six. Yeah, yeah, this is going to be awesome, featuring Jonathan and Reynolds, Jack Kaylin carr Astor, Mike Junior and more, experience music, fellowship and purpose. You can book now at one Voyage cruise dot com or call two one four four nine five nineteen sixty three use code Indie. That's I N d Y fiscally sponsored by United Negro College Fund. And if you'd like to celebrate love at Sea, you can do that as well with a Vowel Renewals that's going to be happening with Erica Campbell and Warren Campbell, her husband. They're going to be hosting featuring a special performance by Tony Terry. You can make memories on One Voyage twenty twenty six. You can book today at one Voyage cruise dot Com. You can call to one four nine nineteen sixty three.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: It coming up in October, coming up in October, and cabins are still available, but they go fast. We are a later buying ticket, you know, we're a later buying city or population here.
00:31:15
Speaker 2: We tend to bilate.
00:31:16
Speaker 1: And I'm guilty. But that wasn't by I mean that just yeah, that just happened. But yeah, but the sooner the better for something like this.
00:31:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. You don't want to miss out on the opportunity.
00:31:30
Speaker 2: And people thoroughly enjoy cruises.
00:31:32
Speaker 3: They do, they really do. Cruises are nice relaxing a hotel on water.
00:31:37
Speaker 2: Do you know how to relax when you go on vacation.
00:31:40
Speaker 3: I do. I really can find the time to relax. I do. But when you're cruising, so many things to see and do. I like to be able to see different ports of call, that kind of thing. But there's a lot to do on the ship itself, a whole lot to do, and meeting new people that's always fun too. I was on a cruise one time. It was a cruise ship of broadcasters radio. Met some nice radio people from other parts of the country. I had heard had never met, they had even heard of me. I'm a really little me some from Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, LA and all over the place and built friendships. It was a lot of fun, cool, cool, cool cool.
00:32:20
Speaker 1: Well, as you know, one of the things I was going to talk to clearly Abdulla has become unavoidably detained. But one of the things I was going to talk to him about was the primary. Today is another primary election day New York, Maryland, Utah, and a runoff in South Carolina. Voters are going to cast their ballots in Maryland, New York, and Utah. South Carolina voters are going to have runoff elections. Runoff elections in South Carolina are held when no candidate receives more than fifty percent of the vote in an election, so the two candidates in a given race advance to the runof. In Maryland, voters are going to choose candidates for governor, Congress, and numerous local offices. The elections includes races for county executives, local councils, and other state positions. Maryland Governor Wes Moore, the only African American currently leading a state in the these United States of America, is running for re election in the Democratic primary. Let's see, there's some redistricting stuff going on in Utah.
00:33:29
Speaker 2: Oh, in Utah.
00:33:30
Speaker 1: A new court ordered redistricting plan has created a democratic leaning district in a state historically dominated by Republicans, and the outcome could have implications again for the midterm elections and the control of the House. But you know, the Indiana, Indiana, the Indiana state legislature, when they lawmakers decided to vote down the redistrict, they may have known what they were doing, because you know, there's such a thing as overreach.
00:34:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's true.
00:34:04
Speaker 1: They were like, we got it good enough, We've got it about as good as it's going to get, and if we go too much further, it's not.
00:34:09
Speaker 2: Going to get any better.
00:34:10
Speaker 3: That's pushing the envelope. Yeah, way over the edge.
00:34:14
Speaker 1: But that's thinking instead of just bowing to whatever Donald Trump says.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: That's thinking and thinking ahead.
00:34:21
Speaker 3: By the way, and you said Utah, like Utah in Utah?
00:34:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yep, yeah, yep, yep, yep. So oh, this is interesting. It says Trump Tower in Chicago could soon be located on Barack Hussein Obama way.
00:34:39
Speaker 3: Oh really, mmmm boy, that's going to go over well in DC MM HMM.
00:34:45
Speaker 1: A proposal to honorarily rename the street in Chicago where Trump Tower is located to Barack Hussain Obama Way was introduced at City County at the City Council this week. The proposal was introduced by forty second Ward Ald and Brendan Riley on Wednesday, the eve of the grand opening of Okay that was last week Okay uh so ju Dude, an event to which the grand opening the Presidential Center and event which Trump was not invited. If approved, the ordnance would honorarily rename the east side of North Wabash Avenue between East Kinsey Street and East Whacker Drive to Barack Hussein Obama Way.
00:35:32
Speaker 2: WOW.
00:35:34
Speaker 1: Plus an honorary street sign marking the designation would also be put up right outside Trump Tower, located four o one North Wabash Avenue and on the Wabash Avenue Bridge. According to the proposed ordinance, a petition calling for the Wabash Avenue to be renamed the honor firm Okay was created and so there we go. Okay that's rich. Trump Tower in Chicago in Chicago could soon be located on Barack Husain Obama way.
00:36:06
Speaker 3: Well, won't that be shocked to him?
00:36:09
Speaker 7: Yeah?
00:36:09
Speaker 1: The City Council in Chicago, uh making uh you know, introducing this and hmm Chicago kind of democratic.
00:36:21
Speaker 3: It is quite a bit.
00:36:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Okay, we'll see. I think that one's going to go. I don't know.
00:36:28
Speaker 3: We'll hear about that when when he you know, realizes what's going on, that happens.
00:36:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Obama Presidential Center I under Oh, okay, this is okay, mister Schabbaz is calling me. But anyway, go ahead, Brian, How are you all right?
00:36:45
Speaker 9: All right?
00:36:45
Speaker 10: Fresh press back from Chicago?
00:36:47
Speaker 2: Oh, how what you know? What we want to know? Do tail? Do tail?
00:36:52
Speaker 10: Well, there's there's there's multitudes to tail. But don't know if you have enough time for me. Uh, very very nice, very nice, elegant. There's a bunch of reading. It's it's a library, not a museum. And they have they have uh not poster boards, but but uh uh they have a montage that that that goes from Florida ceiling when you enter the building. Uh uh numerous uh there again videos of his speeches and different episodes of of his uh you know, Ascendance to to Presidency that runs continuously. But but then you have, like I said, displays and exhibits that there they have. I didn't get to make it down that aisle. Uh, but they have uh uh display of her dresses that she wore. And they have recognition to his his ascendants to the presidency from Chicago as terms of working from the senatorship and even SCLC and and little little trinkets which I found was interesting, trinkets of people that people sent him as as good luck charms or what have you not. And they had a few few of those displays on. But they recognized the porter men that were that were us. They recognized the Civil War slavery, I mean not slavery, but the Civil War soldiers. It said one hundred and seventy nine thousand black infantry troops served in the Civil War before the Union wow, and and had tributes to Angela Davis. And basically it was a montage. My ticket, it's a time ticket was at three forty five, but it promptly closed at.
00:39:07
Speaker 4: Six, so you didn't get you Well, I don't know if.
00:39:13
Speaker 10: That was due to that. That was only the second day open to the public. Well, when we arrived there were multitudes well not a multitude, but various lines. We had to discern where we go into the museum because they had a line to go into the gift store, and they had a line going into the gymnasium and a line going three lines. Yeah, so that's important. I would highly recommend ubering. Number one, ubering no matter where you go when you arrive in Chicago, but uber not trying to find waste your time, especially with your ticket being timed. Yeah, to find a space.
00:39:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense.
00:40:00
Speaker 1: So on a scale of on a scale of one to ten, where would this this center fault in terms of your estimation?
00:40:08
Speaker 10: Well, since I didn't get to see all the floors because there again it was time, because I think we skipped tooth floors trying to uh get.
00:40:19
Speaker 2: To the top.
00:40:20
Speaker 10: Through the letters of a speech and you see, uh, I would say I would give it to eight only because or I don't I didn't see since I'm not disabled. But they have escalators that that will take you up floors. They don't have uh escalators to bring you down. Okay, So I found that interesting. Number one too, they have they have at least they have benches to take a respite when you need to sit down and take a break. But I didn't see any water fountains or anything for people, you know who need maybe take medications or anything.
00:40:58
Speaker 9: But but but so, but but all and all, from what I saw, it's very nice.
00:41:02
Speaker 10: And now I'm going back.
00:41:04
Speaker 2: Okay, Well that's.
00:41:07
Speaker 10: I however, will not be going back in November, because you're right on Lake Michigan.
00:41:14
Speaker 2: Cold is cold to me.
00:41:18
Speaker 10: You're waiting for your time ticket. If you can't get in in the gift shop or whatever you're going, you better be braced up.
00:41:26
Speaker 2: All right. Well, Brian, that's that's great. Thank you so much for that. Thank you. I appreciate it.
00:41:30
Speaker 1: And you know what an honest assessment and that that tends to happen with uh, you know, with with folks that that have to go to places like that, and and especially with the with the timed you know, the time ticketing and stuff.
00:41:48
Speaker 2: So uh and he didn't get to see all of it.
00:41:50
Speaker 3: That's true.
00:41:51
Speaker 2: You know, that's he's gonna go back.
00:41:53
Speaker 1: So that's high praise. That's high praise. I think our buddy Abduel is here. I think he got stuck in court, but he's on the line.
00:42:01
Speaker 11: How are you, hey, miss Cosby, How are you doing this morning.
00:42:05
Speaker 9: Or whatever time it is?
00:42:07
Speaker 11: I was working late last time in a brief that has been done by midnight, head court this morning.
00:42:10
Speaker 9: So but we're here, we care anyway.
00:42:12
Speaker 1: Okay, indeed, well we won't hold you along. Do you have to what time do you have to be back in the courtroom?
00:42:19
Speaker 9: Oh no, I'm fine. I just it was it was an all morning things.
00:42:21
Speaker 2: Oh the morning thing. So now just wrap you know quickly the convention. You were there front and center. So what they gave diego the boot? So what now?
00:42:35
Speaker 9: Now?
00:42:36
Speaker 11: The can is going to be a young man named Max Engling. Max is he's never held public office before younger kids, I want to say thirty ish. Noblesville ran for Congress against thee Curious Parts back in twenty twenty four, came in third place, then went to work for Jim Banks the States excuse me, the US Senator, and he won with about fifty three and the two kit took two ballots. Because the way conventions work is it's kind of like you have like five people, then the person of the lowest boat drops off and they go four rounds and three, then two, until somebody hit fifty percent plus one, and so Max ended up getting like fifty three percent on the second vote.
00:43:21
Speaker 9: It's only forty seven percent on the first vote.
00:43:24
Speaker 11: So, and the person came in last was a not so young lady named Jamie Rittawer who's kind of backcrack crazy.
00:43:32
Speaker 2: So so backpack crazy.
00:43:34
Speaker 3: I like that.
00:43:35
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll use that one, won't we eric backpack crazy? But so what does this say about the state's Republican party that they jumped shipped so quickly behind a flawed candidate that the new was flawed and we're perfectly content to let him remain flawed until someone else entered the race.
00:43:54
Speaker 2: What does this say about the party?
00:43:56
Speaker 11: Well, here's the thing about Daga Morales. Either ride about Diego Morales for years since the first adventure into twenty twenty two. Uh, and the guy had about skelets the skeleton in his closet to make a graveyard mortar recently because guys.
00:44:11
Speaker 2: Happened right exactly by point Yeah, there you go, Well.
00:44:14
Speaker 9: But but the thing was number one.
00:44:18
Speaker 11: Actually, I would argue that Diaga Morales is what happens when you take di I to its logical extreme. Because Republicans wanted somebody of a can of color so badly. Now, somebody Latino, Hispanic, you know, Mexican, that I chose Diaega Morales knowing the fact that Diego had all these skeletons in his closet. So if somebody wants to talk about the next I will reminder that the first three letters in Diego's name are die so fyi. So so there's so there's that kind of point number one. But point number two was all the things that happened to Diego Morales. The thing that I think that did it meant for most of the delegates was the fact that he'd hired a non citizen on his staff to help oversee elections. Because remember, now, she wasn't here legally, even though there's an argument that could be made that she possibly was if she he the hero and expired visa. But she was a non citizen overseen elections. And my issue was, okay, for others, who we need to send me to the safeguard this election, do this thing, do this thing, do this thing, because we don't want non citizens to vote. So I guess apparently non sendences aren't okay to vote, but they're goodenough to overseen election. Like, okay, all right, and that is what did it for a lot of delegates.
00:45:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, nothing, he had nothing to do with. But there's had.
00:45:26
Speaker 1: To be some influence though with the by name coming against Morales though, don't.
00:45:31
Speaker 2: You think.
00:45:33
Speaker 11: I think I think it was sort of I think it was sort of a united divine front because said Jim Banks on the one hand, and also Dave Shelton, Thenox County clerk who is normal uh was there, and uh, there are a couple other people on the battlet as well.
00:45:46
Speaker 9: But I would say, I would say Jim Banks that they.
00:45:48
Speaker 11: Spent a lot of capital moving and trying to move a lot of numbers, a lot of people to Max Engling. So now the question is can Max when in November? Even though the states were primarily Republican, there's still some Republicans weren't crazy about the part of these days, which why they find Greg Ballart so attractive. And you also have bow By, a famous by name with a few million dollars in the bank, so.
00:46:09
Speaker 2: Anything else yeah bow bye. Yeah. I don't know.
00:46:14
Speaker 1: I guess I was just thinking too simplistically then, because it seemed like all of these things became important once By was announced in the race, they didn't seem as important.
00:46:23
Speaker 2: So let me ask you this, let me reverse it.
00:46:25
Speaker 1: Had by not entered the race, do you think that the GOP would have still withdrawn their support for Morales even if there would be no bow.
00:46:32
Speaker 11: Bay, they would have done something because the like I said, all the all the things against Diego were just it was like a soball just builds up as it rolls downhill. And the higher of the non citizen that that was the straw that broke the camel's back or the patrician camel's Backcause the patrician campbell has two humps.
00:46:49
Speaker 2: So even though they were becoming extinct, right.
00:46:53
Speaker 1: Camel, let me they are the two hump camel is becoming stupid up in my head.
00:47:01
Speaker 2: Uh the That's what I do for a living.
00:47:04
Speaker 1: So okay, okay, okay. H Stacy Abrams is in town today. Uh and she, you know, is always issued a call to action for folks to take people citizens, to take more control of of their their their destiny by by getting more involved in the voting process. Several primaries are being held today. What you know, what are your thoughts on that?
00:47:28
Speaker 2: Number one?
00:47:28
Speaker 1: Abram's message about citizens becoming more involved and on the primaries that are being held today, some of which are probably going to go toward influencing the direction that the House goes.
00:47:39
Speaker 9: H Here's what I think.
00:47:40
Speaker 11: I'm going to respectfully disagree with miss Abans because number one, although everybody has the right to vote, I don't necessarily think everybody should be voting. And here's why there's a bunch of people, because a bunch of people coming together make a bad decision, doesn't make a bad decision good, just makes.
00:47:52
Speaker 4: It more bad.
00:47:53
Speaker 9: So I don't I don't believe.
00:47:55
Speaker 11: Necessarily more participation equals better participation. What I will say is more informed participation and equals better participation.
00:48:02
Speaker 9: Because people have studied it.
00:48:04
Speaker 11: Candidate, they researched candidates, they realize, Okay, this candidate most aligned most of the lines of what I believe or what I want out of my government, So I'll vote for that person in particular. Now, please note, nobody believes that nobody agrees with anybody one hundred percent of the time. My wife doesn't agree with that, hund I'm louck at. My wife agrees with me ten percent of the time, So that's one hundred percent And this whole thing for purity tests on the on the left, when we talk about people like Blive Potter. On the far right, we'll talking about, you know whatever. I'll never and somebody because they want someone who agrees with them a hundred percent, Like, that's not going to happen. And if you have a purity test for your candidate, you're always going to be disappointed. I will never forget something. Mitch Daniels, one of the best governors I've ever met my entire adult political life, said to me. He said, O'm duel when it comes to purity test. Purity tests on look good for two things, Nazis and suicide bombers.
00:48:48
Speaker 9: That's it. I was like, thank you, Governor. That stuck with me forever.
00:48:52
Speaker 11: So if you're looking for somebody with who match to one hundred percent, good luck, because you're not going to find that the only person agrees with one hundred percent times that person in the mirror.
00:48:59
Speaker 9: And even then you have some doubt from time to time. So that's kind of point number one. Point number two.
00:49:04
Speaker 11: My issue with primaries is it's basically it's basically you, the taxpayer, putting the bill so other pelical parts can pick their candidates that have a major problem with That's why I prefer the convention route. Let them get let people be delegates, let them do their own figure out who they want to run for what, and then they'll reimburse the state for whatever bill that the state gifts for the for their elections. But primary is, if you're a Democratic Republican, why should you pay for another party to pick their candidate, plain and simple. Now, if the tax remy have done with the bill, I would I would sitch to an open primary system where let's let's where you got five people in the ballot. Dr doesn't matter, but the top vote getter, if the private vote gets what the fifty percent they win or sixty percent otherwise take the top two they face each other in the run off. I think that's a much more equable, fair way to get things done as opposed to the way we do them right now.
00:49:55
Speaker 9: But right now people have best interested in the system.
00:49:57
Speaker 11: That's why I won't change which I can respect but un necessarily have to like it.
00:50:01
Speaker 1: I want to go back to the point you made about this respectful disagreement with with Stacy Abrams about getting more people out to vote and you're saying that that's not the issue. The issue is getting more informed people to vote. So are you saying uninformed people shouldn't vote.
00:50:18
Speaker 11: I prefer uninformed people didn't I mean, but now everybody has.
00:50:21
Speaker 9: The right to vote.
00:50:22
Speaker 10: Don't get me wrong.
00:50:23
Speaker 2: Okay, but think about this.
00:50:24
Speaker 11: If I went through all the trouble and erginan hassle to found the time to research my candidate figure what the issues were for me, then what I think? It's kind of still that my votes counseled by my idiot brother in law. But my idian brother in law has the same right to vote that I do, so I have to respect that. Now protect my idiot brother, my idiot brother in law's right to vote. On top of it, however, I wish you would do a little better job now. I want to vote democratic, Republican, libertarian, anarchists. I don't care who you vote for, as long as as long as you came as long came by it honestly and fairly, and and to a certain degree. I will even let emotions taken to take into account as well, because a lot.
00:50:58
Speaker 2: Of times voting is so emotion Yeah.
00:51:00
Speaker 11: Yeah, we vote for we vote vote for who we like and vote against who we can't stand. Mm hmm, Now why you like people you can't stand people?
00:51:08
Speaker 9: Those for a different reasons. But to give you an idea, my wife love the missus.
00:51:11
Speaker 11: Chavaz back in the late two thousands.
00:51:14
Speaker 9: She voted for it.
00:51:15
Speaker 11: I'll get load of this Barack Obama, Mitch Daniels, Greg Ballard, and Cherish Prior.
00:51:21
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, she's an informed voter.
00:51:25
Speaker 9: Yeah, she's an informed voter. She votes the previous She votes for who she likes and who and again that she can't.
00:51:28
Speaker 2: Stand okay against also.
00:51:32
Speaker 11: Yeah, exactly, and also too, bob. She takes the time to get informed. Now she doesn't do as well as I do, But then again, who does. But she'll ask me quite like, honey, what does this mean?
00:51:41
Speaker 9: What does this mean?
00:51:42
Speaker 11: Like, well, that means this, that means this. Now we'll never tell my wife who to vote for. I would just tell them what they canvas stand from what they believe. In a couple people were just total buttholes, like no, honey, don't vote for him.
00:51:50
Speaker 9: I hate that guy. He's a jerk.
00:51:52
Speaker 1: So yeah, so where do you think we're heading? What what do you think I'm you know, going.
00:51:57
Speaker 9: To on the handbasket.
00:51:58
Speaker 11: Oh oh you mean, oh the hell in the hand basket. No, I think it'll be now that Greg Ballot has the signatures, which which I know he does. He's got the signatures to get on the ballot. This three way race between a Democratic Republic Libertarian is now four person race, which means technically only twenty six percent of the ballot to get on or to win. And at Greg Ballot gets ten percent of the vote, the Lincoln Party now becomes a major party. So I think he was a big story this week that he got the signatures because right now theyve got at least sixty thousand the probably eighty thousand by the time it's all said and done. And by the way, the Libertarian canon ran in twenty four and got one hundred thousand votes.
00:52:39
Speaker 1: So so is Diego going to suspend his campaign and drop out as be as requested or do you think he's gonna you know, for.
00:52:46
Speaker 11: John Well, No, because because of the convention, he's the longer of the nominee or potential nominee, So he's.
00:52:53
Speaker 9: He's he's no longer ready for reelection because he can't run.
00:52:56
Speaker 1: He can't run as a Republican, right.
00:53:00
Speaker 11: I don't think he can run as a Democrat either. Indiana had what's called a sore loser law, you can't run for that same office.
00:53:08
Speaker 7: And the same thing, the.
00:53:10
Speaker 1: Same thing that happened with the sheriff's race here in Marion County. Uh there was Yeah, yeah.
00:53:15
Speaker 2: So that's the that's the same scenario.
00:53:17
Speaker 1: Because I thought he could just say, Okay, I don't have the parties backing, I'll just go a loan ago solo.
00:53:22
Speaker 2: And he cannot do that, then.
00:53:24
Speaker 4: I don't.
00:53:25
Speaker 11: I don't think so now I don't know. That's a good question. You gave me something to research this afternoon.
00:53:28
Speaker 2: Okay, well, thank you.
00:53:30
Speaker 11: We'll taring someone else who love the Missina costs.
00:53:34
Speaker 2: I there's stuff running around in my head, not too much else.
00:53:38
Speaker 9: But that's that's why I have edibles.
00:53:41
Speaker 11: So get to sleep and I actually calm down and just decompressed.
00:53:45
Speaker 2: So, yeah, Diego is is an interesting case.
00:53:47
Speaker 1: And I, for whatever reason, I just don't see him walking away. He just seems pretty determined to do what Diego does.
00:53:53
Speaker 2: But we'll see. But let me know what you find out.
00:53:56
Speaker 7: We'll do.
00:53:57
Speaker 11: And by the way, here's the thing, now, I actually, I think Dago Ralis actually will be more danger now than he was before. Yeah, lost nomination, and he's still got a million dollars in the bank. He can be a pain in a whole lot of people between now an election day. Now, what decide to do remains to be seen. But you never kind of out till he's like Jason for five at thirteen tonight, it's not dead until you've seen a body. Okay, all right, even then I've seen the body still alive, So.
00:54:20
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Well, thank you very much, sir. I appreciate it. Thank you for making time for us.
00:54:24
Speaker 1: I know your schedule is busy, and when you find out, let me know or let us know and we'll share that with our listeners.
00:54:30
Speaker 11: Hey, we'll do with coff You guys, think care and have a great day.
00:54:32
Speaker 2: You too. YouTube. We'll be back with more community connection right after this.
00:54:43
Speaker 8: Wtoc AM W two three six c are Indianapolis broadcasting from the Praise Indy Indiego Studios, Indiego Boldly moving Indy Forward. It's Community Connection with Tina Cosby on Praise AM thirteen ten ninety five point on FM.
00:55:01
Speaker 2: We are back, We are back. We are back. I was trying to catch my breath because the dual takes you for a ride. He takes you for a ride.
00:55:10
Speaker 4: Who.
00:55:12
Speaker 2: Yes, he's got the energy. He's got the energy.
00:55:14
Speaker 1: And like I said, he caught me off guard when when he said the worst thing in the world is for a whole bunch of people, uh to vote uninformed. Yeah, And I'm glad he went back and I'm glad to followed up and he went back and clarified.
00:55:29
Speaker 2: But it's almost kind of like what happened the last election. Yeah, or you know, or maybe they were informed and didn't care anyway.
00:55:36
Speaker 3: That could be either or they knew both.
00:55:38
Speaker 2: I don't know how you wouldn't have known.
00:55:40
Speaker 3: How would you not know?
00:55:41
Speaker 2: How would you not know? Yet now now they know again. So we are going to switch gears.
00:55:47
Speaker 3: Here, Eric, ready to hang on?
00:55:50
Speaker 2: Ready, ready to hang on? Hang on, hang on.
00:55:54
Speaker 1: We have back with us our good friend, doctor Denise Hey. She is a psychologist and presser of the Indiana Chapter of the Association of Black Psychologists. Doctor Hayes, welcome back, and I have to tell you, Eric, she's looking most island like today.
00:56:09
Speaker 3: It looks like she's been on a cruise.
00:56:10
Speaker 4: It does.
00:56:11
Speaker 2: We were just talking about a cruise, I asked her.
00:56:13
Speaker 7: I said, you know, no cruise. I just went to Cole's.
00:56:17
Speaker 2: And got a sale.
00:56:23
Speaker 7: So s a l E not an say.
00:56:26
Speaker 12: I lall on a cruise in November and one of the places we stopped was the Dominican Republic, and I was sad to see that fire that has people are okay and they can recuperate because that country does struggle economically.
00:56:43
Speaker 1: So yeah, well you have a special guest and we have a special conversation that you don't always associate with mental health and mental wellness.
00:56:53
Speaker 2: Which is of course your area, but it.
00:56:56
Speaker 1: Is important nonetheless, and there is quite a connection there.
00:56:59
Speaker 7: It's quite a connection.
00:57:01
Speaker 12: So to talk about sexual health or sexual wellness. We are human and we are sexual beings. We wouldn't reproduce if we weren't, and so it's critical. But you know, there's the just the basics, But then there's how does social media? How does marketing? How does advertisement? How do stereotypes? How do all of those things impact us? So, for example, African American women have often been sexualized, and so when we think the books, yes and in the books absolutely no, No, you're absolutely right, and so for women though you know, we also see it in the when the videos first came out, for the songs and music and.
00:57:57
Speaker 7: And all that kind of stuff.
00:57:58
Speaker 12: Sometimes we start to emulate that and internalize some of those messages. And so then the question is which part is who we really are and which part are we accepting what other people say? And is that is that? What is that how we really attract people? Is that really what healthy sexual relationships are like that? You know, you have things showing that maybe should be for the bedroom, I mean, or are you okay with that? Is that body positivity?
00:58:32
Speaker 7: You know? So it's just a question to see.
00:58:36
Speaker 1: Well, you broughte a special guest along with you who's going to help us sort out some of these questions, and I'd like for.
00:58:41
Speaker 2: You to introduce them to our listeners.
00:58:43
Speaker 12: Well, this is a dear old friend that we haven't talked in a while, doctor James Wadley, and we were in the American Association of Blacks and Higher Education Together, which is an organization of black administrators from higher education patient that get together and talk about research and what are the trends and what's happening on college campuses across the country. And so doctor Widley was one of those people. So, good afternoon, doctor Widley.
00:59:15
Speaker 4: Good afternoon, folks. How are you all doing this afternoon?
00:59:18
Speaker 7: Good? It's so good to hear your voice. How have you been.
00:59:22
Speaker 4: I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty good. I was inspired by the last segment with the gentleman talking about making good decisions about voting and being informed. The same thing.
00:59:33
Speaker 6: Follows suit with conversations about sexuality, and that individuals and couples and families need to have good information and accurate information in order to make good decisions about their behaviors as well as who they choose to partner.
00:59:49
Speaker 1: With, Doctor Widley, if I may, so that we can just kind of you figure our starting point when we talk about sexual wellness. What exactly are you talking about? What is is it?
01:00:02
Speaker 4: So?
01:00:02
Speaker 6: Sexual wellness has to do with people feeling positive about themselves, their bodies, and their relationships, and obviously the focal point might be on communication, where individuals can be insightful enough to talk about what they're thinking, how they feel, what they do, and maybe even what they fantasize about, and in sharing that with partners or friends or family members, obviously the goal might be that whenever they do engage in romantic relationships with one another, that sex will be safe and it's consensual and pleasurable. More often than not, people tend to avoid those sensitive conversations because those conversations are value laden, meaning that the sum total of who we are filters into all of our conversations, and sometimes sexual wellness is elusive for folks. But what we try to do in our profession, in our field of sexology clinical sexology, is to promote safe conversations and consentual conversations so that way folks can enjoy themselves with regards to whatever kind of intimacy they want to express to each other.
01:01:09
Speaker 2: How do you know when it's healthy and will balanced.
01:01:13
Speaker 6: It's healthy and will balanced if there is sharing. So in this conversation, there are four of us here, and four of us could have a conversation about ourselves and our relationships and how we choose to manage ourselves in those relationships. So I would say that healthy conversations are balanced conversations that all of us have an opportunity to share. But then all of us have an opportunity to listen and grow from one another regarding our own experiences without judgment, without judgment.
01:01:47
Speaker 2: How often does that happen?
01:01:49
Speaker 1: Is you're a therapist and doctor Wiler you're a therapist too, and so it's like you both are called upon to bring things back into balance.
01:01:57
Speaker 7: I guess yeah.
01:01:59
Speaker 12: So I'm sure doctor Widley has had this issue as well. But when you're working with couples, for example, when you watch people talk, you almost can tell how healthy their sexual life is, meaning because if there's one person that dominates, then that means that maybe the other person doesn't have the opportunity to express what they like, what they need in many areas, including sex. If they're not hardly talking at all, you can just feel that coldness, then you can assume that there's not much intimacy happening. So often I wouldn't approach it early in the first couple of sessions, but once they get comfortable, I'll say, you know, I'm just curious, what is your sex life like? And then they will both just roll their eyes and.
01:02:51
Speaker 7: You know, neither are happy.
01:02:53
Speaker 12: But the way they communicate is an indicator of what that would be like, because if you don't have good communication, it's very hard to have intimacy.
01:03:04
Speaker 7: Would you agree, Jane I do.
01:03:07
Speaker 6: Yeah, I do agree, but I think I take a little bit different approach. I address sex on the first in the first session, and the reason why I do that is because I know that sometimes couples have fewer opportunities to talk constructively about sex and sexuality. So if I meet with them the first session and then I don't talk about it, then they get away, that means they may have missed out on an opportunity.
01:03:32
Speaker 4: So what I do is I actually have.
01:03:34
Speaker 6: Them do what's called a sex history to talk about sexuality over the course of the life band that informs how they show up with one another. And oftentimes people may obviously may not have shared, but then two, they may not have thought through some of the questions that I might ask them about what they learned about sex and maybe what sex look like for them as a teenager and as a young adult and so on, and how those learning then inform how they present themselves to their partners.
01:04:04
Speaker 12: And it's a good example of how different therapists operate differently, and all are.
01:04:10
Speaker 9: Good, you know.
01:04:13
Speaker 12: So how has social media impacted sexual wellness?
01:04:20
Speaker 6: I would say that social media has offered both good and bad.
01:04:24
Speaker 4: So if we can.
01:04:25
Speaker 6: Think about what was shared about what the gentleman talked about with voting, that sometimes we get information and sometimes we get misinformation.
01:04:33
Speaker 4: And social media has a way of.
01:04:35
Speaker 6: Offering both, and sometimes social media has a way of amplifying both.
01:04:42
Speaker 4: And so for some.
01:04:43
Speaker 6: Folks when they view or process social media pages or you know, different influencers, sometimes they develop a skewed sense of what reality might be, meaning that more often than not, when people post on social media, they're not going to post some of them more negative things that happen in their life or that maybe they experienced a sexual dysfunction, or they acquire a sexy transmit infection, or there was some thing negative that happened to them. More often than that, they will celebrate sexuality in a way that leaves the viewer to believe that, oh, sex is great, sex is wonderful. There is no consent, there is no negotiation, and people always want to have sex with you depending upon how you look. And obviously we know in the real world, but that isn't true that there is a lot of negotiation that happens between couples in whatever it is that they're thinking about doing and whatever it is they want to do, and sometimes those realities don't mesh with what's presented in social media.
01:05:41
Speaker 12: Do you work with young people as well? I would imagine from time to time.
01:05:46
Speaker 6: I do, But the primary focal point of my practice is with adults. I would probably say, from what age twenty five to eighty five? Yeah, most of the adults who actually venture to see me, they may be struggling with obviously depression and anxiety. But when you tie that into sexuality, you know, people want to talk about their sexual function and their dysfunction.
01:06:12
Speaker 12: Okay, okay, I was just asking because I was thinking about, you know, social media and what that means for younger people and even how parents. So so, from this perspective, what about how parents can prepare their children to be what is the term digital literate digitally literate as it relates to self esteem and sexuality.
01:06:39
Speaker 6: Yeah, I have a lot of parents who reach out to me regarding that about you know, what sites, websites or what social media pages are best to follow? And then I usually start off with inviting parents to consider where their kids are at developmentally, that some what some kids consume as a ten year old might be a lot different than what some kids consume as an eighteen year old. So we know for younger children, we know that they're learning about their bodies and learning about how their bodies function. So if they're consuming social media pages that talk openly about changes in one's body and what that might look like, some parents may judge that to be okay. And obviously some parents may judge that to be not okay.
01:07:28
Speaker 4: But then as kids get.
01:07:29
Speaker 6: Older, they're able to think abstractly, be when they're enter into their preteens and teen years, and so now the sexuality and relationship content that they experience might be a little bit different in that they can think in terms of you know, maybe blended family structures, or maybe in terms of maintaining a relationship with oneself or maintain a relationship with multiple people at the same time. And so for us, we as practitioners, we talk to them about engaging in excuse me, developmentally appropriate media literacy.
01:08:04
Speaker 1: How doctor, doctor Widley, how are we as a society learning sexuality over the over the generations and has the emphasis on sexuality wellness, what's healthy, what's not healthy, what's good, what's not good?
01:08:23
Speaker 2: Has that has that shifted?
01:08:25
Speaker 1: You know, with the times and in the culture you know the music even you know, even before social media became a big thing. Music at some point in time I recalled, you know, in history.
01:08:38
Speaker 2: Was was too sexualized or too much this and not enough that? So how how are we learning?
01:08:46
Speaker 1: And when you do your assessments of couples and and you know through the ages, how.
01:08:52
Speaker 2: How are we learning? And are we learning it the right way? Or I guess if there is such a thing called the right way?
01:08:59
Speaker 6: I think over the generations, sexuality education has changed based on what we get from media slash social media slash uh, maybe the music and culture.
01:09:12
Speaker 4: That if I think about what maybe my.
01:09:14
Speaker 6: Parents and maybe your parents may have learned about sexuality when they were kids in the forties, fifties and maybe sixties, or didn't learn or didn't learn it was through not talking. That whatever you learned about sex, you kind of had to find out from your friends or from the streets, right and in those contexts, if your friends were like my friends, my friends didn't have accurate information, and maybe you didn't have accurate information either. No, So then fast forward to the late nineties early two thousands, with proliferation of the Internet, people were then exposed to more information and more misinformation. So even though there's been more information, more more, more misinformation, and couple still struggle to talk about sexuality. So, for example, I can think of a couple who I had a couple of years ago, where they were, you know, talking about where they wanted to have a conversation about performance related issues regarding the male partner, right, and the male partner even though he experienced a rectile dysfunction, the rectil dysfunction before sexual intercourse, he really struggled to talk about it.
01:10:28
Speaker 4: So when they came in to see me.
01:10:30
Speaker 6: We talked about what both of them learned about sex while they were growing up, and what they had learned was to not talk. And the assumption is that when people get together for a long term relationship that both partners are competent and skilled enough to.
01:10:44
Speaker 4: Talk about sexuality.
01:10:45
Speaker 6: And I would say seven out of ten times they aren't skilled.
01:10:48
Speaker 4: And competent enough to talk about sexuality, which is why therapy is important.
01:10:53
Speaker 6: So so nowadays, you know, people still struggle with those same issues, but there is more information online and you know.
01:11:01
Speaker 4: Maybe in through our social cultural.
01:11:05
Speaker 6: Channels in terms of what we watch on TV and what we see in the movies. Where people can be more sexual, but more often than not, individuals and couples they struggle to talk about it.
01:11:15
Speaker 12: Well, it's kind of like other things that people come from different families and that everybody makes assumptions that what you want in a relationship, a long term, committed relationship or marriage. When you say I want to have, you know, a committed relationship, what that means to one person might mean something different, and so the expectations what the one partner is supposed to do, the male versus the female, and things like that, and everybody comes together assuming that they know or that your partner would know what you want. If you say I want you to listen to me, you assume that listening means X, y Z, and it might mean something different to the other person. And so that's just what happens with all of us because we come from different families, different cultures, different languages, different expectations. So the same thing then is true when it comes to sexuality, and it's it's much more complex, but the communication is the key.
01:12:17
Speaker 2: Are we healthier, doctor Hayes?
01:12:18
Speaker 1: Are we mentally well and mentally healthier today than perhaps maybe when you first started practicing.
01:12:25
Speaker 2: Let's let's let's use that as a wrong complex.
01:12:29
Speaker 12: I would say, because well, you know, I go on to the community things. So you know, we used to live in some ways in a communal environment. And so if you couldn't talk to your parents, maybe you had an older cousin or maybe you had someone down the street that you could talk to. And now we and we became much more mobile, so you don't have that community.
01:12:55
Speaker 7: It doesn't look the same.
01:12:56
Speaker 12: A lot of times, you don't know your neighbors, the kids are not going to school in their neighborhoods, and so is just much more fragmented, I think. And so I think what would have been kind of a supportive community even I mean churches used to be part of your community. Now people drive across town, you know, all those kind of things. You don't even sometimes know that somebody goes to your church, you know. And so I just think that that's what gets in the way of us being able to feel connected. And I think then the internet comes into play that you know, you have the sometimes intimate conversations with people you've never met, you know, or they might not even be real.
01:13:50
Speaker 7: You know. There's the captains.
01:13:52
Speaker 1: People that are dating bought. Yes, yeah, I saw a peace on that of it. I still can't get my head around it, but yes, yes, for whatever reason, that's yeah.
01:14:00
Speaker 12: And then you have people that are intentional, you know, with malicious intent to get money and all that.
01:14:06
Speaker 7: Kind of stuff.
01:14:07
Speaker 12: So online dating, yeah, so uh, there's I just think there's a lot of things that make life more complicated. And so I think it's different for younger people that grow up in this area, so it needs a lot more difference to them than it does to you.
01:14:27
Speaker 3: And I.
01:14:28
Speaker 12: Uh but and then as parents, how do you connect because the internet is changing, technology is changing, you know fact not day by day by.
01:14:39
Speaker 7: Moments, so.
01:14:42
Speaker 2: Go ahead.
01:14:43
Speaker 12: So just just in terms of health, I mean there are I mean we're just humans, you know, And so I think having connections is always, you know, in the past and.
01:14:56
Speaker 7: Currently I think is what makes the difference.
01:14:59
Speaker 12: And a theme that I'm working with some young people at my church about is how to be your authentic self and to look at what you see on the internet is all right and you're trying to emulate that. Or you see musicians and rappers and influencers and all of them and you think they're cool.
01:15:25
Speaker 7: The question was what is cool?
01:15:28
Speaker 12: So why can't How do you learn to be comfortable with yourself and recognize that what cool looks like for you is different from somebody else?
01:15:38
Speaker 7: And so all of.
01:15:40
Speaker 12: That I think is connected to being being authentic and being healthy.
01:15:49
Speaker 1: They say in relationships, and this is just basically from what I've read and heard, the two I guess the two issues that come up the most are money and or you know, in relationships, and they also tend to be the two hardest things to discuss for people to discuss in general. Why are we so unwilling? Why is sex so taboo too? You know, in a healthy way? But yeah, I guess maybe my question should be how do we find the healthy way to talk about it as being a human? And again I'm probably miss mixing up, but you see what I'm saying without being you know, because if you talk about it in a certain way, you know, people are going to look at you, you know, like judge you no, we don't talk or you know. And so even in talking about it, not necessarily with your partner, but maybe with your best friends about your relationship with your partner, you have to pick the right friend that you know is going to receive it and understand it as opposed to judge.
01:16:57
Speaker 2: So we tend as a society sometimes.
01:17:00
Speaker 1: To judge people based on what they say or how they feel sexually.
01:17:06
Speaker 2: So how has that improved at all? And that, you know, I.
01:17:11
Speaker 1: Can see where that would be out of balance mentally in a lot of ways.
01:17:15
Speaker 7: I don't know, doctor Widelee.
01:17:16
Speaker 12: What do you see to me? It's it's kind of people are the same, oh, okay all the time. I think younger people are much more open. So I think fifty five and plus I think are still influenced by World War two values and I think, uh, parents, grandparents, all of that. Yeah, you don't talk about that, you know, just do it close, turn the.
01:17:44
Speaker 2: Light you don't do that.
01:17:45
Speaker 12: Yeah, you know, just said night, you turn the lights off, do it and that's it.
01:17:50
Speaker 7: Yeah.
01:17:52
Speaker 12: But uh, Dr Widelee, what do you think.
01:17:57
Speaker 6: I would say that adun't struggle talking about sex.
01:18:02
Speaker 4: And money because they haven't practiced it. They didn't really talk about it when they were kids. They didn't.
01:18:09
Speaker 6: They had a hard time talking about it when they were teenagers and young adults.
01:18:12
Speaker 4: And so when two people.
01:18:13
Speaker 6: Get together in their twenties, thirties, forties, whatever, they have difficulty having those conversations with their partners. Parents need to teach their kids about financial literacy, Parents need to teach their kids about sex. But more often than not, parents are unsure about how to navigate those sensitive conversations and then decide that they're not going to talk to their kids about it and let their kids.
01:18:37
Speaker 4: Figure it out on their own.
01:18:39
Speaker 6: And more often than not, their kids don't figure it out on their own until their credit is ruined or they've acquired a sex with transmitted infection.
01:18:47
Speaker 7: So unless you have a parent that's a therapist.
01:18:51
Speaker 12: Like I was and not had multiple conversations but yeah, yeah, I ready to go to college. Yeah, had some kids to lunch, including my daughter, and we had a conversation, Yes, that's great, questions and everything.
01:19:06
Speaker 1: I worked with the guy whose mom worked at Planned Parenthood, okay, and he said every since all his siblings they were all very young. She was very frank, very open, very direct, and they they feel like they, you know, have a pretty healthy, healthy balance.
01:19:22
Speaker 4: There.
01:19:22
Speaker 2: We have a caller that has a question.
01:19:24
Speaker 1: Before we get too far off off the and going to another area of three one seven, four eight, zero thirteen ten three one seven for eight zero thirteen ten. If you'd like to join the conversation, Samuel L. Jackson, go ahead. How are you?
01:19:38
Speaker 13: Hey, Tina?
01:19:39
Speaker 14: Hey?
01:19:40
Speaker 2: Hey Sam? That depends man.
01:19:42
Speaker 14: Yes, And I want to say hello to your guests there and my buddy Eric, uh.
01:19:47
Speaker 9: Doctor, I got a question for you, and if at the question.
01:19:53
Speaker 4: Back in nineteen ninety, we was in.
01:19:55
Speaker 13: Devil's Storm, okay, and when I was sold to just have retired, and he was fifty I think he was fifty nine years old whatever he was, and he was on high blood pressing medication okay.
01:20:11
Speaker 14: Yeah, he was talking to this lady okay, and she didn't know he was on the high blood pressure medication. And I'm telling you telling me. The man died and they brought the MPs in about the lady that killed him with a gun at night, and they said, no, it's the high blood pressure medication is presence shot.
01:20:31
Speaker 4: So far it's actually killed him because of this lady.
01:20:34
Speaker 14: So my thought is, how do you approach somebody and asked him, look, y'a, are you wing this type of medication? And if so, what kind you own before we get involved, because I don't want to be killing nobody. You get my grip Yeah, eighty five percent of the population on some type of medications here in the US.
01:20:57
Speaker 4: They know that's the truth.
01:20:59
Speaker 14: So how do you approach somebody and affle about you want to talk medication before you really get involved? Oh, if you want to do my point to live?
01:21:07
Speaker 4: Okay, do you want to respond or you going to respond?
01:21:12
Speaker 7: You can start and not pick up.
01:21:14
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, thanks for calling in. First of all, thank you for your service. Here's that.
01:21:21
Speaker 6: In terms of having conversations about medication, I agree that those conversations need to be had before you decide to partner with somebody in that way, not only should you have a conversation about medication, but you also should have a conversation about you know, your sex history that have you ever acquired a sex who transmitted infection?
01:21:42
Speaker 4: And it's so what is it viral? Is it bacteria?
01:21:46
Speaker 6: Have you ever how many partners have you had, how many unprotected encounters have you had?
01:21:51
Speaker 4: And so just slowing the process down before you pull your pants down really.
01:21:56
Speaker 6: Goes a long way, because you don't want to end up in a circumstance like your coague who maybe took too much medication of this or that and unfortunately end up losing their lives from it.
01:22:08
Speaker 12: Yeah, and I would just add thank you again for your service. And you know, sometimes people will take medication to help them perform, and that also could be a conflict with the medication that they're supposed to be on. Are sometimes certain medications causes people not to be able to function and so they stop taking the medication. So there are a lot of different dynamics that could be there. And so I think having really open conversations with your medical providers is important because they understand that you may want to have an intimate relationship and so ask them how can you do that? What can you do? You know, and don't just close your eyes and just hope for the best. So but certainly, you know, I would recommend that anyone getting ready to have sex unprotected would have your both of you go get tested and see what the deal is.
01:23:09
Speaker 7: You know what the report card is.
01:23:11
Speaker 1: Indeed, all righty, well, well, thank you, thank you, mister Jackson, and we'll be talking with you again soon.
01:23:18
Speaker 2: I'm sure, I know, I know you.
01:23:20
Speaker 1: All righty, thank you, and we need to take a quick break right here. But doctor, doctor Hayes, you have a you had a question and you made a comment a little while ago about misconceptions about sexual wellness as we age, and I'd like to get into that a little more because we have a we have a more mature audience in a lot of ways, although we have young we want young folks here too.
01:23:44
Speaker 2: So we'll be right back right after this break.
01:23:58
Speaker 8: Let's get back to the conversation. It's Community Connection with Tina Cosby on phrase Am thirteen ten ninety five point one FM.
01:24:08
Speaker 1: And we're back with Community Connection, one of those conversations.
01:24:11
Speaker 2: During the break, Eric and Doctor Wadley, and we'll share. We'll share I was. I was sharing with doctor Hayes here that I was.
01:24:20
Speaker 1: I was one night I was just binge watching some old Bernie Mac shows, right yeah, And there was an episode where there was a party Jordan and the boy in the series, Young Young Boy in the series had a birthday party and he and some of his friends had snuck off from the party and went to his room and they were playing some kind of version of Spin the bottle and whatever number you got, that's how long you had to stay with the girl in the closet and.
01:24:44
Speaker 2: You had to kiss her for that long.
01:24:45
Speaker 1: Jordan won because he stayed the longest, and a couple of days later, the little girl caught a virus or something. She was sick, and his friends in the hallway in his school said, you got her pregnant.
01:24:55
Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, no, you know, I got her pregnant.
01:24:58
Speaker 1: And it was you know, it went south from there, you know, comedy and things of that nature. And Bernie's wife on the show said, it's pastime for you to talk to him about, you know, the birds and the bees.
01:25:10
Speaker 2: So what do they call it? The birds in the bees? Maybe you all know that.
01:25:13
Speaker 7: I don't know.
01:25:14
Speaker 2: Why is it called the birds and the bees?
01:25:17
Speaker 1: But anyway to have the talk with him, and uh, you know, Bernie, being the comedian that he is, said he ought to let him keep walking around thinking he got a girl pregnant by kissing her. He said, that's what I did because he should have been out there, he shouldn't have been in the closet and all this other stuff, which leads you know that that's another layer too of what have you. But the you know, the misconceptions that that kids can have at such an age. And I guess we can back up a little bit. What is you talked about? It you you touched on it a little bit, uh, doctor wildly. But what's the right age to start talking to children about sex? I guess or their sexuality or you know, I don't I don't know how you would put it.
01:26:00
Speaker 2: But what's the right age to start?
01:26:03
Speaker 6: So the right age to start is when kids start talking, right, So if you think about eighteen months to too eighteen months to two year old, they start to learn about gender and whether or not they'll identify as a boy or a girl, or or non binary. And also they'll begin to have conversations about their bodies. So if you can think about what we teach kids about their bodies, we say, this is your head, this is your nose, This.
01:26:34
Speaker 4: Is your shoulders, These are your lips, these are.
01:26:36
Speaker 6: Your should these are your shoulders. But this is your chest or your breast or and then you move a little bit further. For those families who operate from a space of shame, they'll say this is your stuff, you'r we we your snatch, your sang thang or whatever, rather than giving it rather the proper or the medical term, this is your penis and this is your vulva.
01:26:59
Speaker 4: So then as kids get older, they begin to think.
01:27:02
Speaker 6: Expansively about sexuality, not only in terms of their bodies, but also how they are able to negotiate friendships. Right, and most families teach their kids that healthy friendships involve truth and honesty and caring and sharing and compassion and all those other things that may fall under their value system. Now, when kids hit middle school, conversations about.
01:27:26
Speaker 4: Sexuality they change.
01:27:27
Speaker 6: Why, because kids' bodies continue to change.
01:27:30
Speaker 4: Some kids, when they hit puberty, they don't know why.
01:27:33
Speaker 6: They start to develop pubic hair or hair under their arms, or their best breasts begin to develop, or their shoulders become broadener their or their voices become deeper. So families are encouraged again to have developmentally appropriate conversations with their kids as their kids' age. But some parents are uncomfortable talking about bodies because nobody ever talks to them about their body or the changes that their bodies have.
01:27:58
Speaker 4: Let me use an example. So if when.
01:28:01
Speaker 6: Some girls experience their first menstruation or experience monarchy, right, some parents or some women are comfortable talking about the monthly discharge that they may have and there and the way that their bodies begin to change from being a girl to a woman and being able to have children. In contrast, most men don't have conversations with their adolescent boys about their first nocturnal emission or their first wet dream. It's just something that happens. So when boys experience that first nocturnal emission or their wet dream, there may there may be some shame around it because they may have thought that they eat in the bed, and if there hasn't been a conversation before that, then it's more difficult for.
01:28:50
Speaker 4: Right, it can be traumatic. So is there an age. Yeah, you talk to their kids as soon as.
01:28:56
Speaker 6: They can, you know, use language and you know, speak in sentences about life. But then you don't omit having conversations about sexuality.
01:29:06
Speaker 12: And I think that gets right to what sexual wellness is. You know, it's when it's healthy. It's you have the information. You invite children to ask you questions, you know, or if you hear kids whispering and you say.
01:29:23
Speaker 7: Oh, let me tell you hear the facts.
01:29:25
Speaker 12: Get some If you don't know, you know, because your parents didn't teach you.
01:29:30
Speaker 7: But you want to teach.
01:29:31
Speaker 12: Your children, then get some books, get some do some research, find things that reflects your values. But still it's based on science and information, and so you don't find information out so that you know how to talk to them.
01:29:49
Speaker 1: Balance healthy, balance the question that you the conversation that you've had and started. Misconceptions about sex as as is aging or waitman, let me put let me see what are the misconceptions about sexual wellness?
01:30:04
Speaker 2: Okay, as we age? What is a healthy Yes?
01:30:07
Speaker 12: Yes, so you know, I think you know there's there's the gamut. But there is a notion that as people get older they lose interest in sex. I think there's a lot of people that feel like they don't want to have sex anymore. A lot of it may be related to medical concerns, being hurt, you know.
01:30:29
Speaker 7: All of those things.
01:30:30
Speaker 12: If someone loses someone and they are a widow or a widower, they might just say, I'm not going to be with anybody else ever again, or you get hurt, somebody cheats on you, things like that. And then again there's the medical thing. So if you have, you know, a cancer that impacts your breast and you have to have a masectomy and things like that, that might make you feel unattractive. Men may have prostate cancer and not be able to perform, and so who do you talk to about that. You know, you should be able to talk to your physician, your primary care your oncologist or someone like that without the fear of being judged. But I think sometimes we're so ashamed that we just don't even know how to approach it or who to talk to about it. And then, you know, I think, and you can correct me if I'm wrong on this, James, but I think sometimes men are less likely to want to talk about it because you're supposed to be kind of macho, you know, and you don't want to really talk about a erectile dysfunction, you know, even the commercial on the Pironi's disease where the penis has a curve in it, you know. I think, yeah, I think people, you know, they joke about it, and I just think there's.
01:31:55
Speaker 7: It would be more healthy to be able.
01:31:58
Speaker 12: To have those conversas sations because people do share, you know, and and the men that I know that have had prostate cancer, using that as an example, there's other things, will encourage their brothers, you know, to go get the prostate exam, that that's important. But I don't know that they have the conversation about how do you manage your intimacy after that, but it's important. We still are humans, we still want to have the intimacy, and that's that's what I think. You know, there are medications that uh, that you can take, and you know, are there other ways to be intimate. It always doesn't have to be uh intercourse, you know, and so uh and I said that word?
01:32:46
Speaker 7: Can I say that word on the radio?
01:32:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, go ahead, you already did so.
01:32:49
Speaker 12: Not absolutely so, but I think I think we need to understand that intimacy could be holding hands, it can be.
01:32:58
Speaker 7: Hugs, you know, there you'd be the conversation.
01:33:01
Speaker 12: There are a lot of different things that you can do to maintain that, so the sex doesn't have to die as you get older.
01:33:10
Speaker 7: And I think and.
01:33:13
Speaker 12: STDs STIs are still rampant. So you're not safe, because shareholder, you're not safe.
01:33:21
Speaker 7: You know, you do need to get tested.
01:33:23
Speaker 12: You need to know if your partner has been tested, you know, are they on medication things like that. So the game is still out there and you need to know the rules.
01:33:35
Speaker 4: You know.
01:33:35
Speaker 1: One of the saddest stories that pertaining to what you both said had to do with a friend of mine, her sister, her sister's husband at a.
01:33:46
Speaker 2: Very young age, fairly young age, I think.
01:33:48
Speaker 1: Late thirties early forties, had to have surgery for prostate cancer, lost a lot of ability, if not all ability there and totally checked out of humanity. And she did everything except stand on her head and upside down and reassuring him, I'm not going to leave you.
01:34:02
Speaker 2: I'm here for you.
01:34:03
Speaker 1: There's just like you said, there's other ways this is. This doesn't mean we have a good thing. He totally disengaged from her, his family, and you know, just even moved to another Yeah, and it affected her to the point where she started, you know, she couldn't handle it because she thought she started internalizing thinking, you know, that it was her or whatever. But he would not he would not go to the doctor, you know, to a therapist or what have you. And so the devastation of the mental wellness in that relationship because you know, he had to have it or he would have you know.
01:34:40
Speaker 2: And he's still around.
01:34:41
Speaker 1: I mean this was this was about twenty twenty five years ago. He's still around. He hasn't left the house, but he's left the relationship. Yes, he hasn't left the house, he's left the relationship. And she has found comfort, and you know, I don't I wouldn't know if she's an addict or not, but she's certainly.
01:35:00
Speaker 2: Abuses a lot, uses a lot of alcohol. And it's just just one of the saddest stories.
01:35:06
Speaker 1: And it all centers around him losing his ability to perform and not understanding and not wanting I guess to understand. So that's where the mental health and mental wellness part of it can come in. And that's a that's a tragic example, but I've seen it in real life well.
01:35:23
Speaker 12: And I would say that the issue really started before he got ill.
01:35:28
Speaker 7: It was in communication.
01:35:30
Speaker 12: What extent can they have that level of intimacy in their conversation?
01:35:35
Speaker 2: I wonder about that too.
01:35:36
Speaker 1: I I don't know her sister as well as I know her, and I just knew him great guy. Well it still is probably, but just just simply checked out and will not will not rejoin, will not rejoin humanity.
01:35:49
Speaker 15: So if I can add something now, the tragedy with this circumstances that the gentleman would do his entire being down to his.
01:36:02
Speaker 2: Penis, Yes, exactly.
01:36:04
Speaker 6: He didn't think that he had anything else to offer besides the function of his penis. From the outside looking in, it's like, oh my gosh, it's crazy. I'm sure that he was a nice guy. I'm sure they met each other, fell in love, and had a lot of commonalities. But somewhere in there that perception of himself became distorted. So had there been a conversation when he was maybe a boy or about his value and his worth and that his worth extends beyond the function of his penis, maybe in this particular relationship, he would have felt more positively about himself by having a conversation with his partners saying, well, you know what I experienced in a rectile dysfunction, but there are a thousand.
01:36:49
Speaker 4: Other things that you and I can use axherence pleasure in the bedroom.
01:36:53
Speaker 6: So because he didn't have that competency or that skill set, obviously you know they are in disconnected.
01:37:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like I was saying, didn't leave the house, which means he still pays all the bills in the house, takes care of everything. So I think there were two, probably two I guess, missions or roles that he felt he had to provide and to provide, you know, for lack of a better phrase, Yeah, this is what you this is what a man does he pays the bills?
01:37:22
Speaker 7: And I think that's so core to sexual wellness.
01:37:26
Speaker 12: So you know, some men feel like that that that is all they have or to produce children, you know. And so it still is very penile focused, slex very much. And and women can be part of that too, you know. And you know, make fun if someone's penis is not a certain.
01:37:48
Speaker 7: Size and all of that. But it comes.
01:37:52
Speaker 12: From where we get our messages about who we are, what we have to offer, and what does connections, What do connections look like?
01:38:02
Speaker 7: What is intimacy?
01:38:04
Speaker 12: Intimacy can be emotional as well as physical, and so sometimes people just assume that intimacy means just something sexual, and it doesn't.
01:38:15
Speaker 7: It's so much more.
01:38:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, doctor Widley, How do we get from there to hear? How do how do we get how do we get healthier?
01:38:22
Speaker 4: How do we get healthier?
01:38:23
Speaker 6: We have to be willing, willing to have sensitive conversations and be willing to listen.
01:38:30
Speaker 4: To one another so that way we can learn about who they are and what they may be interested in.
01:38:36
Speaker 6: H I think that we need to have a different set of conversations with our kids that are developmentally appropriate and offer them the time and the space and the care and the compassion that they need in order to share honestly and candidly.
01:38:53
Speaker 4: And I think finally, we need.
01:38:54
Speaker 6: To revisit and reimagine who we are as sexual beings. That are sexual beings shouldn't be limited to our genitals. Being a sexual being is as one exists. As a sexual being, one can consider who they are physically, emotionally, sexually, intimately, and spiritually, so that way they can have a different kind of and more in depth connection with their partners.
01:39:18
Speaker 1: We got time, I think. Yeah, Eric says, we do real quick. Another question, Joyce, go ahead, you have a question for the doctors.
01:39:26
Speaker 16: Yeah, it probably won't be real quick, but I'm thinking these generalizations ain't helping nobody. You know, you do no better. You do better All my life I wanted to be a parent, you know. At eighteen when I wasn't married, out felt like oh may but hey it was my upbringing. Everybody around me was married.
01:39:46
Speaker 1: And Okay, I'm sorry, but go ahead, because we're gonna I don't want to run out of time.
01:39:52
Speaker 2: I want you to get your point out.
01:39:53
Speaker 1: No, I hear you, Okay, No, go ahead and get your point across I'm just saying.
01:40:00
Speaker 16: It's the narrative, the picture you're painting. If I, at age six knew I wanted to be a mother's because I had most father in the house and life was lovely. I mean, you know, and even if life ain't lovely, you don't want a child in the closet and no feed them. That's abnormal. Uh, some of these behaviors are abnormal. But do y'all want to coddle it? I I don't know how that go. But I raised my kids to know they were sitting on diamondizes. I raised daughters.
01:40:31
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good, Okay, okay, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, Dr Wadler.
01:40:36
Speaker 6: No, I was just affirming what she said, Like, you know, I raised my daughters to feel like they sit on diamonds.
01:40:42
Speaker 4: And I said, I know that's right, because that's the way I think our.
01:40:45
Speaker 6: Parents should raise their kids and raise them like they feel like their kings and queens and that their value extends beyond their genitalia.
01:40:52
Speaker 11: Yeah.
01:40:53
Speaker 1: Absolutely, indeed, Doctor Widely. If someone wants to get a hold of you or find out more about you, website, phone number, Yeah, they.
01:41:00
Speaker 6: Can reach out to me at doctor James wadi dot com and they can send a query if they have an interest in meeting with me either through coaching or as a therapist in Pennsylvania, Connecticut as well as New Jersey.
01:41:12
Speaker 7: Uh smell your last thing.
01:41:15
Speaker 4: Please thank you for asking.
01:41:18
Speaker 6: My website is d R j A M E s W A D L E.
01:41:23
Speaker 4: Y dot com. Doctor James Wadley dot com.
01:41:27
Speaker 1: Indeed great, it's good to hear from you and we I can't thank you enough for joining us today. This has really been enlightening and I would love to have you back sometime when when you have time, because I looked you up and you.
01:41:40
Speaker 2: Got you got a lot going on.
01:41:42
Speaker 1: Uh, but we really thank you for taking the time out to share with us today. And again, uh yeah, all the best this this has been great.
01:41:50
Speaker 4: So much for having me indeed, thank you all.
01:41:53
Speaker 1: And doctor you too, thank you and doctor Hayes. If someone wants to find out more about you, you.
01:41:58
Speaker 12: Can reach me at three one seven three seven two zero seven eight eight. And in July we're going to have part two of this conversation with a medical professional.
01:42:09
Speaker 2: For medical reasons, yeah yeah.
01:42:10
Speaker 12: Medications and understanding a little bit more about the body bodily functions.
01:42:15
Speaker 4: Wow.
01:42:15
Speaker 2: Wow.
01:42:16
Speaker 12: And she's a psychologist and a registered nurse, so I'm gonna have both.
01:42:22
Speaker 1: Okay, looking forward to that, and that'll be the end of July, close to the end of July. Okay, Part two is coming up. So much for having Thank you doctor Hayes again, Thank you Doctor Widley, thank you for calling and as always for listening. That is all the time we have for right now. Willie Moore Junior on the radio is up next. Yes he is, Eric you know.
01:42:46
Speaker 3: He's about to take the mic shortly. He's you guys done, not yet yet, Not.
01:42:52
Speaker 1: Yet, Williemore, not yet. We'll give it to you just a second. Our nephew, the nephew indeed. Anyway, thanks everyone for joining us again. We'll be back tomorrow for all of us here at Community Connection.
01:43:02
Speaker 2: I'm Tina Kashmi.
01:43:05
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01:43:08
Speaker 4: Hm h
