Return to Chapter 4 Part 3: Gorgon Zola

WEBVTT
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Hey there everybody.
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You got a short sword?
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That's fun.
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Don't worry about it.
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Listen, nothing wrong with a short sword.
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You got a long sword?
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Don't fucking brag.
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If you want to get a bigger sword, that's a problem.
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Be happy with what you got.
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If you have a too big a sword, take this pill.
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It'll make you have a short sword.
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And nobody loves a sword more than a short sword because it's just right.
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Doesn't poke too far into the wound, goes just far enough.
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And believe me, some people are like, oh, that's too deep.
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Not with a short sword, they're like, mm, you're killing me just right.
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So what I'm saying, sign up for these bunker pistols.
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Shortswords.com.
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Welcome back, guys.
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Tyler, take it away.
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Hey everybody.
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Shane, what's going on?
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Uh happy pride, everybody.
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Mark, what you got?
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Nothing.
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I'm just mental health as well.
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That's good.
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So just put them together.
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Awesome.
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We are comedy and dice.
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We are a comedy and dice podcast.
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I am Grant Janik.
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I am your DM.
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DM, of course, stands for Dank Memes, and it also stands for Dungeon Master.
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I am the world.
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And as always, I am joined by my lovely, lovely, lovely friends.
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The first one to my left is I'm left.
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John Wick.
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I uh am a dog.
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I'm uh I was a regular dog, uh, and now I'm an Irish setter.
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And um you you know the story.
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You should be on board by now.
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Don't start on this one.
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Uh and I am joined and accompanied by one of my favorite people of all time, to my left.
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Hey, I'm Ranger Danger.
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Uh, I'm a half-elf Ranger who just likes to have fun, but now he likes to have fun with his friends because he's had a little change of heart.
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He's starting to soften, and I'm sitting with them all now.
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To my left, another one of those friends is to my right, played by Shane Smith.
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Shane Smith is my name.
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To my left.
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No, I love it because you said I am Ranger Danger.
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Oh, yeah.
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You didn't even let Shane Smith enter the conversation.
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Oh, no, no, no, no.
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And we've had that conversation.
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I am who I my character is.
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Yeah.
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And my name is Tyler Wood, and I play AI, the half.
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He's not half anything.
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He's one, he's half for a cockra, and so's the other half.
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He's half masked, right?
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He is half masked, he's ready to go because there's a fight of brewing.
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He is uh an era cochra barbarian, and he is gonna learn to like it.
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He has barbarian traits, and this episode we're gonna be fighting.
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I I it threw me off that you started, Grant.
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Uh, but I think it's a good thing because we need to adjust, we need to learn to overcome, and I think with this combat heavy episode, we're gonna need to improvise a little bit.
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Yes, yes, and that brings us to the recap.
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So, last episode, like I always say, big episode, but this time actually big episode, because you are currently enthralled in a battle between a 12-foot-tall Gorgon.
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Ooh.
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See, what happened before is you guys are stranded in the desert of Dunkel Sprout, where it used to be fun and cutesy, but now it's more mad-maxified.
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You have been given a map in your little dune buggy, and you have made it to the second stop.
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So the first stop was the gas station that you blew up.
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The second stop was this oasis where you found that there was some illusionary magic.
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British musicians.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Fucking uh part of the gorillas.
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Is that the guy?
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Oh, yeah, I think so.
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Sure.
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And uh very important was you also found the mare.
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Yes.
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I said that very qu slowly so I could get that R in there.
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Yeah, you said Are you serious?
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Yeah, let him go.
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Okay, let him go.
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You found the small horse who was in uh you found the the mirror of Dunkel Sprout who has the key to escape.
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He was twirling it around his neck.
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Shane did this awesome and incredible move to land right on top of his neck in the center of this lake, and right as he landed it, the illusion magic dissipated, and off to the side of the lake, the mirror, mirror cartoon is sitting in his 18-wheeler big rig, twiddling the key around his finger.
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And the mermaid that was in the center of the lake that was calling you in has sprung up into a 12-foot-tall gorgon named Zola.
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Gorgon.
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Yes.
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Uh oh.
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So with that.
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That was like Zola Gorgon.
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Weird.
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May I make a few retractions?
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Sure.
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A few mid-episode retractions.
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First of all, it's blur, uh, not Oasis, my fault.
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Oh, yes, blur.
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Wrong British.
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Hey man, nice shot.
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No, that's uh deer tick, is it not?
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No, it's blur.
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Blur?
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I just know blur has uh song two.
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I think it's Stone Temple Pilots.
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Oh, wait, that's Filter.
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Never mind.
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Filter Hey man, we're we're wrong about being wrong.
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Um also uh can I get a definition check on enthralled or enthralled in this battle?
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Yeah, you are loving the way this battle looks.
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Are we sure it's a gorgon?
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Yes.
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Uh it's a it's just a bull?
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It is a gorgon.
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DD Gorgons look like bulls, but Grant Gorgons look like gorgons the way they're supposed to.
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I'm not looking Grant Gorgons.
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Gorgons.
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Googling Grant Gorgon now.
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Grants love Gorgon.
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Oh, there's literally something called a Grant Gorgon?
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I'm still seeing this.
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There is.
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I didn't know that this was the case.
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That's hilarious.
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Oh.
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Yeah.
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Oh it's Medusa.
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Okay.
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What?
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But I don't think that's what you think are it.
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We're playing a bunch of guys on LinkedIn.
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Grant Gordon.
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What is just a Gorgon?
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Yeah.
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You're fighting, you're basically fighting a Gorgon, which is Medusa.
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Oh, it is Medusa.
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Okay, yeah, yeah.
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Yep.
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Interesting.
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So a Grant.
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Did you make this?
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Yeah, well, he must have.
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Me?
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Yeah, in your Midnight Dimension wiki, you weirdo.
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No, I did not.
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So with that, Ranger, you are currently in the middle of this pond.
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Good thing you hit that D20, huh?
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That's right, because there is uh an island in the middle, correct?
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There's a little island in the middle where she was coiled up on, but now she is fully erect.
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Standing at 12 feet tall, and she's just looking at you.
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Sounds like an intro to like a boxing badge.
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To my left, standing 12 feet tall.
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Gorgon Zola!
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So, quick question.
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Is Gorgon, if I look at Gorgon, will I turn to Stone?
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Zola's the name.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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If I look at Zola, will I turn to stone?
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Is that how this Gorgon works?
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So I guess there's only one way to find out.
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I'm not doing it.
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She.
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I feel like we have to roll to see if we looked.
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Yeah, I'm gonna make you guys roll for that.
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Let's get some early rolls out of the way.
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Because I feel like I'm gonna be looking from like bottom to top if she's real tall.
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And I might be focusing on other things on the way up.
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I'm gonna say everybody make a constitution saving throw.
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Okay.
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That's the one labeled con.
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Yes.
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Oh, am I doing it?
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First, first time, Mark.
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Fifteen.
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Ooh.
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Thirteen.
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Seventeen.
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Okay.
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All of you managed to evade her gaze.
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Thank God.
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Oh.
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Prime month.
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Yep.
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Now, what all three of you notice because you were able to evade her gaze is that around you it's gone very dark.
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Except for like the lights from the big rig, because Cartoon has the engine running.
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And then also you see two piercing lights coming from the top of her erectness.
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So you're assuming that to be her eyes.
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So you could see that they are slowly turning.
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Like a lighthouse.
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Like a lighthouse, yes.
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Okay.
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This is the best.
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She is literally a lighthouse in the middle of this Oasis.
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Oasis.
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That's good.
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She is currently a lighthouse in the middle of this oasis.
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And as you see the sweeping lights go in this circle, a little fish is swimming in the pond.
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As the lights go over the fish, the fish freezes and turns to stone and then starts to slowly sink into the bottom of the lake to where you cannot see it anymore.
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Okay, okay.
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How good is her hearing?
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I don't know.
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I'm like, hey guys, hey guys.
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Hey guys.
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I think she sees you.
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You think?
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I think yeah.
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You think?
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Yeah, I think you just killed uh the the the the mirage.
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I think she was aware of that.
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Yeah, but I mean I gotta stay out of her eyes.
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Maybe she doesn't have good hearing.
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You know, I can run around her body faster than she can turn her body.
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You know?
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Yeah, she evolved wrong.
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Yeah, yeah.
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She went up instead of out.
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Uh how far away are they from me?
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I would say she's about 40 or 50 feet.
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You're in the middle of But they're outside of that, right?
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They're outside of that.
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So you're for simplicity's sake, we'll say you're smack dab in the middle of this donut oasis.
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Okay.
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50 feet to the center aisle.
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Okay.
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Is this aisle?
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Oh, you mean Isaac?
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Where she's where she's at, yeah.
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Uh it's 50 feet in either direction.
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Okay.
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Uh so we can't you can't whisper and we hear you.
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Okay, you're right.
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So I'm just whispering to myself.
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Okay, you know what I'd like to do?
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I would like to cast a fog cloud so I can uh it kind of s swim away.
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Okay.
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So can I do that?
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You can, yes.
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Uh what does fog cloud say?
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It says 120 feet circle.
00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:48.399
Okay.
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What does it do?
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Uh it says 20-foot radiosphere is fog, uh, it's heavily obscured, lasts for a duration until a strong wind or a gust of wind disperses it.
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Okay.
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So you cast fog and you create this cloud.
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It does go over.
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Since this is a circle, where are you?
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It's in a circle.
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Where are you fixating the center point for this fog?
00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:20.879
Uh I'm okay, so I'm trying to get as close to the water and then you're well, you're in it.
00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:22.240
I'm in the water, I'm not on the island.
00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:25.440
Yeah, because you landed on Cartoon and now you're in the water.
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You're fighting.
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I thought I was in the okay.
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So basically I just want to uh cast it where I am and then just swim away from Zola so I can get to the shoreline.
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Because basically she wouldn't be able to see me through the fog.
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Was Cartoon not on the island?
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See, that's what I thought Cartoon was on the island.
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He was an illusion that Shane jumped on.
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I'm with you.
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When you when the illusion dissipated, his big rig, which was off the island, you thought was empty.
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He's sitting in the cab twirling the key.
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I'm with you.
00:10:57.919 --> 00:11:01.200
Where was his illusion when Shane snapped it?
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Was swimming towards the mermaid.
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So basically I just want to cast it where I'm at and then swim away straight away from the other side.
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Your area and a little bit of the area before like some of the beach part to this donut will be covered, but on the other side of the circle, some of the water is gonna be exposed.
00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:25.679
Sure, but she can't see that far, can she?
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:29.279
Um it doesn't matter because there's nothing over there.
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Through the fog.
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So you successfully create the fog.
00:11:32.960 --> 00:11:33.279
Yeah.
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So you see as the spell is cast, the lighthouse's gaze zooms over to the fog, and she is going to try to see through it.
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She uh Damn, I'm dead.
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Uh her her eyes zoom towards the fog, and as they glaze towards the water, the fog manages to reflect against the water in just the right way, to where one of her two eyes that are gleaming, it gets reflected back, and she is now blind in one eye as that eye has turned to stone.
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Hell yeah.
00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:22.879
So only one eye is currently working because she crit failed.
00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:24.960
Hell yeah.
00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:31.840
So your cone of like visibility that she has is lessened.
00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:33.360
No, it's by half.
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:33.919
Yes.
00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:34.639
Hell yeah.
00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:35.759
You see that, guys?
00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:36.480
See that?
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:38.879
Someone said, Oh, yeah.
00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:41.840
All right, I'm so I'm gonna swim quiet.
00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:50.960
Uh, and I try to swim, uh, I do a little uh swimming under the water diving just so like uh like what they do at the Olympics when they kick off?
00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:52.879
The the yeah, breaststroke.
00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:54.480
So sometimes I'm underwater.
00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:56.720
Wait, are you are you doing the breathstroke?
00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:57.919
The breaststroke?
00:12:58.080 --> 00:12:58.960
Are you doing the breaststroke?
00:12:59.120 --> 00:13:00.159
You're doing the breathstroke?
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:01.279
Yeah, yeah.
00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:02.639
Is that okay?
00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:05.200
The breaststroke isn't that.
00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:06.799
Breaststroke is on top of the water.
00:13:06.960 --> 00:13:07.120
Yes.
00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:08.159
Do you Oh yeah, yeah.
00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:10.159
What's the what it that's what's doing the wiggle.
00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:11.120
You're doing the wiggle wiggle.
00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:17.600
Whatever I'm doing where I'm going and I'm going under and the breathstroke is like, aside from butterfly, the loudest function you can do.
00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:20.000
You're saying breathstroke.
00:13:20.159 --> 00:13:21.039
It's breathstroke.
00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:22.240
No, it's breaststroke.
00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:22.559
What?
00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:24.399
Breast, like like a lady.
00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:26.000
Yeah, because you're using your breasts.
00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:27.120
Breath stroke.
00:13:27.200 --> 00:13:28.399
Oh, it's breaststroke.
00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:29.440
Oh man.
00:13:29.759 --> 00:13:31.679
How much shit are you confidently wrong about?
00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:32.480
I'm sorry.
00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:37.360
If I you see my tubby tummy, I don't need to swim.
00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:38.159
I float.
00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:39.279
I'm buoyant.
00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:45.120
I'm also trying to figure out how uh when you're looking at something, you're you're you glaze over it.
00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:46.799
Hey, your eyes glaze over it.
00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:47.840
That's a saying.
00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:49.279
No, yeah, not in that way.
00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:50.639
They glaze over it.
00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:53.039
No, not that either.
00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:54.559
Oh my goodness.
00:13:54.799 --> 00:13:55.679
Guys, back me up.
00:13:55.759 --> 00:13:56.399
Don't get quiet now.
00:13:56.480 --> 00:13:57.440
No, no, but it's Pride Month.
00:13:57.519 --> 00:13:58.080
I don't want to ruin his.
00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:00.320
We all just we shared a look when he said it.
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:00.720
We did.
00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:02.240
Don't act like we all didn't look.
00:14:02.639 --> 00:14:03.279
We did.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:05.440
We all glazed at each other.
00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:10.960
When your eyes glaze over, it's like what happens during this podcast.
00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:15.519
When somebody's speaking, your eyes become vacant and you're you're no longer there.
00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.159
That's what eyes glazing over is.
00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:20.080
Yeah, but not in my world.
00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:23.600
Oh, that's why this is bullshit.
00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:25.840
It's great.
00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:27.759
It's wonderful.
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:29.759
So you do the water wiggle.
00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:31.679
Real quick, you know what's crazy?
00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:34.159
Uh I bet Jessica's name isn't even Jessica.
00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:35.200
He's been saying it wrong this whole time.
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:36.720
She's probably Jessica.
00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:38.960
He has not corrected her.
00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:40.799
Uh, I'm realizing this now.
00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:42.000
Okay, anyway.
00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:43.440
His name isn't even Graham.
00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:44.240
No, it's not.
00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:49.600
No, it's Graham, but uh so you do the water wiggle.
00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:59.759
I am going to have you roll a dexterity saving throw, but roll it with advantage because you have the fog to cover you.
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.919
Okay, first was 15.
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:05.120
Second two.
00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:12.639
Okay, so with a 15, I will say you manage to successfully make it back to the shore.
00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:17.840
I want to know while you're doing this, so you're currently swimming.
00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:23.440
Uh AI and John, do you guys have anything that you want to do?
00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:34.480
I am going to shape shift into uh can I A.
00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:38.960
You want to do a big rig like your fucking property?
00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:44.080
A uh Gorgon.
00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:45.519
Ooh.
00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:47.440
Oh, ooh.
00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:49.200
Grant looks like he shit himself.
00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:51.120
But not in like a I'm scared way.
00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:53.519
More of like, I can't believe I have to deal with this right now.
00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:55.840
Are you gonna ask her out on a date and then take her somewhere?
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:56.960
And then she'll be done.
00:15:57.440 --> 00:16:07.360
You do this for the sake of this podcast, I'm going to say yes.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:19.919
However, because this is like a very complicated creature, you would only be able to shape shift into one more animal aside from the gorgon in this story.
00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:20.720
Okay.
00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:22.480
So in this chapter.
00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:27.759
I was thinking, I mean, yes, I was going to Yeah.
00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:36.480
You would also be thinking my original plan was to go into a Gorgon, the bull.
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:45.440
So oh, um, but I would like to, but then I was thinking about if I could, and then I was letting him answer if I could.
00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:49.120
So I'm gonna go for it, and I can only do one more thing, right?
00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:50.879
In per per chapter.
00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:51.200
Yeah.
00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:54.480
Like in this chapter, you can only shift into one more animal plus this.
00:16:54.559 --> 00:17:02.320
But I will say that you currently are a Gorgon.
00:17:02.559 --> 00:17:03.120
Nice.
00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:06.640
And I am going to send you to health.
00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:10.240
The stat block that you can use, right?
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:15.200
Uh instead of hooves, you just that's gonna be called claws.
00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:17.119
Isn't that what you asked to be?
00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:21.599
Uh so this is the stat block I'm using.
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:25.279
Uh I thought you were, I thought I was gonna be the You are that.
00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:27.119
You So not the bull.
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:27.680
Not the bull.
00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:28.799
You're not the bull.
00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:31.200
This is just the stat block that I'm using.
00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:31.920
Oh, gotcha.
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:32.480
Okay, okay.
00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:36.480
So you are a true Gorgon, like Medusa Gordon.
00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:37.039
Gork.
00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:38.640
Medusa Gordon.
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:39.200
Okay.
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:44.079
Uh and um I stare at her.
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:46.160
Does that work?
00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:48.079
You just staring?
00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:51.119
Well, I mean, I've had two working eyes and she has one.
00:17:51.519 --> 00:17:53.359
This game recognized game.
00:17:54.240 --> 00:18:04.720
So I I go, hey, bitch! Okay.
00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:09.920
I'm going, um uh.
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:13.920
No.
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:17.599
Um yeah, you know what?
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:18.559
I fucking don't like this.
00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:18.799
Okay.
00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:19.519
I don't like this.
00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:21.039
I'm gonna I'm I'm going back.
00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:23.119
I'm going to double down on my my bull.
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:24.559
I'm going back to the bull.
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:25.519
Okay.
00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:27.519
Cut that.
00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:32.400
It's just it's too like I'm them, and then I get an equal thing, and I don't fucking like them.
00:18:32.720 --> 00:18:37.759
And is this uh and this what you're saying now is lulling this creature to sleep?
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:41.920
You talking about how it's okay.
00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:43.279
Here's my action.
00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:47.519
I change into a gorgon bull.
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:48.079
Okay.
00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:50.799
Okay, so a true DD Gorgon.
00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:51.440
Nice, okay.
00:18:51.599 --> 00:18:51.920
That's right.
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:52.400
All right.
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:54.400
I'm gonna say I am gonna allow it.
00:18:54.559 --> 00:18:54.960
Yes.
00:18:55.119 --> 00:19:01.440
However, in this chapter, you're only going to be able to shift into one more additional animal.
00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:01.839
Okay.
00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:04.640
So it's not gonna be like where we can have you free switch.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:11.920
This is a you get you get one and then you get another animal, and it can't be like a extreme animal either.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:13.920
It could be it's like a normal fucking animal.
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:17.920
Uh MX MXP, most extreme primate.
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:20.480
No monkey doing skateboard shit.
00:19:20.559 --> 00:19:20.640
Yeah.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:20.880
Right.
00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:22.240
Well, no, no, that we'll cut that.
00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:23.359
We'll get like that.
00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:24.000
That's a freebie.
00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:26.400
You can you can always be cool as hell monkey.
00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:28.160
Yeah, I can do tricks.
00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:28.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:30.240
You come with the skateboard too.
00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:31.279
So sick.
00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:32.240
Write that down.
00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:44.240
So um the the the the your Gorgon has he's swimming, it blinded an eye.
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:46.799
The vision, the light now is smaller, correct?
00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:48.480
Zola's light is smaller, yes.
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.920
Zola, that's right.
00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:50.480
Yes.
00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:52.400
Uh how could I forget her name?
00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:55.759
Uh, is there anything around, is it where's the light now?
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:58.960
Is it is she like, oh, I'm blinded.
00:19:59.039 --> 00:20:06.240
I'm looking around instantaneously or darting in the fog, because that is the most recent thing that happened.
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:11.920
So I would say if she's not doing like a little like look up and blank thing, like I got something in my eyes.
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:13.680
Yeah, she's like, Can you guys think it's an eyelash?
00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:15.200
Oh my god, it's is it stone?
00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:16.240
Tell me it's not stone.
00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:18.799
Well, her eye is stone.
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:26.480
So currently it's just one beam into the fog searching for Ranger who is no longer there.
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:26.799
Okay.
00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:27.920
But the fog still is.
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:30.319
Is there anything near me?
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:42.799
Is there is there something to hide behind or um I would say the only thing to hide behind would be the 18 wheeler.
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:43.839
That's not really near you.
00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:45.279
You'll have to run towards it.
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:51.279
I mean, it's about like maybe 60 feet in the opposite direction of the lake from where you're at.
00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:52.480
Oh, opposite direction.
00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:58.079
So I would have to go through Gorgon to Um think about it like you're six o'clock.
00:20:58.319 --> 00:21:02.880
The wheeler is ten o'clock, and she is three o'clock.
00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:03.839
Oh, okay.
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:04.799
All right.
00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:09.839
I think I'm going to I'm gonna charge the wheeler.
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:10.720
Okay.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:13.119
So you have about sixty.
00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:14.240
What's your movement?
00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:14.880
Speed.
00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:17.839
You can get 40 feet, but you can dash to charge.
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:18.559
Ooh, okay.
00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:19.839
Yeah, you can make it there.
00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:20.319
Okay.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:21.759
Um, okay.
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:26.720
Go ahead and roll a strength attack roll.
00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:27.680
Mm-hmm.
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:30.319
Well, I guess I'd be just using a regular.
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:36.720
You're using it, but you're using your Gorgon stat block, so you're gonna add plus five to whatever this is.
00:21:36.960 --> 00:21:38.000
It's an infinity.
00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:38.640
Nice.
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:40.240
It's an eight.
00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:42.319
An eight, so thirteen.
00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:49.759
I will say, because you're dashing, you do I think.
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:51.119
Thank you, thank you.
00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:55.279
Uh, as you are handsoming down the sand.
00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:57.359
That sounds like something you just say.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:58.480
Honestly.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:02.640
We were just like, oh no, he did it again.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:06.079
Uh I am trying here.
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:06.960
You're great.
00:22:09.279 --> 00:22:18.000
As you are galloping down, you see that the 18 wheeler slowly starts to peel off because that's how 18 wheelers work.
00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:19.119
They can't peel away.
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:21.599
They have to gain speed.
00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:23.680
So you manage to make it.
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:26.960
However, you are currently at the 18 wheeler.
00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:28.720
You just kind of run into the side of it.
00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:31.680
No real damage to you, no real damage to the 18 wheeler.
00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:35.599
But Cartoon is furiously trying to get it to go.
00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:42.400
So he's shifting into all the gears because there's like a bunch of gears in a takes a while to speed up.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:42.880
Yeah.
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:45.599
There's many, many gears in an 18-wheeler.
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:46.000
Yeah.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.200
So he's currently shifting through all of them.
00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:53.119
So he's got a short way to go, and it's taken him a long time to get there.
00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:54.160
Is he loaded?
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:56.400
Yeah, it's the 18-wheeler loaded.
00:22:56.559 --> 00:22:58.000
Yeah, that should make it easier for him.
00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:00.559
The trailer behind it is closed.
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:02.160
Oh, there is a trailer.
00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:02.559
That's good.
00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:06.960
That means that it's moving that little bit slower than if it was by itself.
00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:07.359
Yeah.
00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:12.960
You don't know if it's empty, but it has like the rectangle on it.
00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:13.279
Okay.
00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:14.319
Yeah, just a trailer.
00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:14.720
Yep.
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:15.039
I gotcha.
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:15.279
Okay.
00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:16.880
Yes.
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:20.400
Um the trailer?
00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:21.440
It has the shape.
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:21.839
Yes.
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:23.359
Uh cool.
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:23.680
Okay.
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:24.400
That's my turn.
00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:25.039
All right.
00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:34.480
Uh while that is happening as he starts to run towards it, I am also I'm also going to run towards the 18-wheeler.
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.039
And do I have the time to get there?
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:38.400
You might want to fly.
00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:38.880
Right?
00:23:39.119 --> 00:23:39.680
I'm dashing.
00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:41.039
I'm hot.
00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:41.680
I'm hot as hell.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:43.599
Movement speed.
00:23:44.079 --> 00:23:44.799
My movement speed.
00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:49.359
Actually, before we even get into that, what's the movement speed of the 18 wheeler?
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:53.119
It's gonna be changing every round.
00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:54.640
That's true.
00:23:54.960 --> 00:23:56.960
But to start, it's extremely slow, right?
00:23:57.119 --> 00:23:59.200
Yeah, it's a it moves about like five feet.
00:23:59.440 --> 00:24:00.559
Okay, only five feet.
00:24:00.720 --> 00:24:02.319
It's currently 60 feet away from you, though.
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:06.079
60 feet away, but it takes so long for it to get going.
00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:07.519
Like 18 wheelers, like it.
00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:09.039
You've seen have you seen them from a dead stop?
00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:10.000
Are you dashing?
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:14.720
I am pulling up YouTube videos of 18 wheelers driving to show you how slow they are.
00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:17.039
I know that's your autism.
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:18.720
I know that.
00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:21.759
You want to see how to safely complete a right turn and semi truck.
00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:23.599
I prove my point.
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:32.240
So my movement speed is 25 feet walking, but I am flying as fast as I can.
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:33.759
Can you click that for me?
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:34.640
Sure can.
00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:36.000
Flying 50 feet.
00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:37.440
Ooh, see you were there.
00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:38.480
Yeah, I'm close.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:42.319
With you dashing, you can make it, you just can't attack it, but you can make it there.
00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:44.640
Dashing because dashing is an action.
00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.640
So I would make it to the truck.
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:47.200
Yes.
00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:48.319
If I were dashing.
00:24:48.559 --> 00:24:49.359
And that's your action.
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:51.039
That's my movement and your action.
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:53.119
That's my movement and my action.
00:24:53.359 --> 00:24:58.400
But I would like to concurrently, if I may make a deal with the devil sitting next to me.
00:24:58.720 --> 00:24:58.960
Hello.
00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:03.279
I would like to have my arm outstretched.
00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:09.359
And as I get to the truck, I'm swooping the side of it, and I want to grab the mirror.
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:10.079
That's correct.
00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:10.799
That's what I was gonna do.
00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:12.640
Off the side of the truck.
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:14.400
Like the side view.
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:14.880
Yeah.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:16.079
The side view mirror, yes.
00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:16.799
Okay.
00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:18.000
It would be the right one.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:19.519
It would be the right side view mirror.
00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:20.559
Oh, it's headed that way.
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:21.359
It's heading that way.
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:21.680
Yes.
00:25:21.839 --> 00:25:23.039
It's heading towards 12 o'clock.
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:24.400
It's appealing to head towards 12 o'clock.
00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:25.920
So we're on the passenger side.
00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:26.640
Yes.
00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:27.119
Okay.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:27.440
Alright.
00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:28.240
That's fine.
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:29.359
I'll let you do that.
00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:31.519
Um This would only work with a left side mirror.
00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:31.920
Yeah.
00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:32.319
I know.
00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:33.440
I was thinking that.
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:35.759
I will let you rip it off.
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:36.240
Okay.
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:39.200
Make a strength check.
00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:39.759
Yeah.
00:25:40.079 --> 00:25:40.400
Okay.
00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:42.559
Strength check is.
00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:43.920
Ooh.
00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:46.559
Uh, is 19 plus 3 enough?
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:47.839
Uh yeah.
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:51.440
You you fucking rip this thing out.
00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:52.319
Perfect.
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:56.000
And now it is going to be Zola's turn.
00:25:56.960 --> 00:25:59.680
She's still blinded in her one eye.
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.480
She is looking around for her like in the fog.
00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:12.160
And what she's going to do is she is going to make the light disappear as she reels her head back.
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:16.720
And then she is going to intensely stare into the fog.
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:22.559
And a beam of light shoots out from it into the fog.
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:32.079
And as it does that, you see the green gas dissipate from where it hit the water.
00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:38.079
And the original fog dissipates with this green gas as it smokes and starts heading up towards the air.
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:49.440
And it dissipates to where there's no fog left, and there's no gas left, but she's blinking, looking at it, and realizing that no uh like nothing was there.
00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:52.480
So she just used a move, but she realizes nothing is there.
00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:55.599
So now she's looking around to try to find you guys.
00:26:55.759 --> 00:26:58.160
However, that is just her turn.
00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:00.319
So it's going to go now back to Shane.
00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:00.960
Okay.
00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:04.880
Uh how far am I from Tyler currently?
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:06.880
So from AI.
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:09.759
30 feet, I would say.
00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:11.119
You're about 30 feet away.
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:13.759
Because they're both at the truck now.
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:14.319
Okay.
00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:17.200
And the truck was 60 feet away from them.
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:23.599
So can if his turn's done, can he do anything if I say throw me a mirror?
00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:24.960
Can he do that or can he not do that?
00:27:25.279 --> 00:27:26.319
He can do that on his turn.
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:27.920
Oh, so we'd have to wait.
00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:28.319
Okay.
00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:30.480
Well, yeah, you should say, throw me a mirror.
00:27:31.119 --> 00:27:35.759
Because they were doing they were doing this while you were swimming.
00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:37.759
Okay, next round, I got you.
00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:40.079
This is my action.
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:41.200
Fucking dude.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:42.799
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:43.759
Okay.
00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:45.839
Also, I'd be remiss.
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:47.759
We we go we give Grant a lot of shit.
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:49.119
How are you saying mirror?
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:49.920
Mirror.
00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:51.599
Is that wrong?
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:53.039
Is that mirror?
00:27:56.880 --> 00:27:58.079
Am I saying it wrong?
00:27:58.319 --> 00:27:59.359
Not as bad as Grant does.
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:00.720
So how do you say it?
00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:01.359
Mirror.
00:28:01.519 --> 00:28:02.000
Mirror.
00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:02.480
Mirror.
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:02.960
Mirror.
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:03.519
Mirror.
00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:05.440
Oh, I was taking an R out.
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:05.920
Yeah.
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:06.880
Interesting.
00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:09.119
Uh mirror.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:10.319
Mirror.
00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:11.599
See, I'm mirror cat.
00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:12.240
Mirror cat.
00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:12.720
Yeah.
00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:15.200
See, you say throw me a mirror, and I'm like.
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:16.160
Yeah, what is that?
00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:18.480
Does pop up.
00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:20.799
Mirror.
00:28:21.519 --> 00:28:21.839
Okay.
00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:22.559
So.
00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:24.480
Okay.
00:28:25.039 --> 00:28:26.079
What did you do?
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:30.160
Um I gotta I'm just thinking of stuff real late.
00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:32.880
Mark just Googled.
00:28:33.039 --> 00:28:34.720
Uh oh my cap.
00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:35.759
No, no, no.
00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:37.599
Because of this.
00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:38.160
This.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:40.160
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, okay.
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:42.160
You don't need to you don't need to say if it'll be a surprise.
00:28:42.319 --> 00:28:44.720
I thought you were Googling uh what just the question?
00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:47.279
Just like if a mirror is reflective.
00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:52.160
And I was like, God reflect.
00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:53.759
I was like, oh my god.
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:54.480
Did you know?
00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:55.839
I may have said this on pop before.
00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:56.559
They're green.
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:00.400
I had the fucking tab open from the last time we recorded.
00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:01.359
They're technically green.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:01.680
Yes.
00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:03.599
Asked and answered.
00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:04.799
Cloaca's, we got it.
00:29:05.119 --> 00:29:07.599
That is the one time I've been right on this podcast.
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:08.559
I will.
00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:09.680
Nice.
00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:12.400
Okay, sorry, I'm just looking through my shit to see what I have.
00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:15.599
Um and how far am I from uh Zola?
00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:16.640
Zola?
00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:18.000
You are now.
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:19.279
It was 50 feet.
00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:20.559
You're about a hundred feet away from me.
00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:21.599
100 feet.
00:29:21.839 --> 00:29:24.079
Uh, and I forget what weapons do we have?
00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:24.480
Anything?
00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:25.920
You have what you have on your jeep.
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:27.279
Okay, okay.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:35.759
Um I would like to uh and what what's the is that a sandy beach around the water?
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:36.799
It's sand.
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:38.000
You're in a desert.
00:29:38.319 --> 00:29:40.000
Okay, okay, okay.
00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:41.920
Uh how fine is the sand?
00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:43.680
Are there varying grades of sand?
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:44.480
Yes.
00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:45.839
A, B.
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:46.960
Nice.
00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:47.599
Nice.
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:52.079
Okay, so I would like to uh pull out my uh short sword.
00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:52.960
Sure.
00:29:53.440 --> 00:30:01.599
And uh I would like to start uh taking sand, uh thicker, heavy bigger sand first, and start scraping my sword.
00:30:01.759 --> 00:30:07.119
And then I want to go slowly, slowly finer and finer until my sword has a mirror finish.
00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:09.039
Mirror finish.
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:11.680
Okay.
00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:18.160
Um do you have any do you have any tools that can help you with this?
00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:19.680
Tell me what's in your watch.
00:30:19.839 --> 00:30:21.599
I have like a polishing cloth.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:24.160
I was just doing it dumb.
00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:25.359
Uh let's see.
00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:27.200
I have an eyeglass cleaner.
00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:28.319
Yes, I do.
00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:29.440
Let's see.
00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:32.799
I've got a water skin.
00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:34.559
Oh, I have a mirror.
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:35.359
A mirror.
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:36.480
Do you?
00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:37.119
Yeah.
00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:39.119
Do I have a oh that's in my chest.
00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:40.319
I'm not carrying it currently, probably.
00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:40.960
What do you want?
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:41.680
Iron Man?
00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:42.480
Yeah.
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:44.960
Uh I don't really see anything.
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:47.599
Okay, so you're having to do this with your hands.
00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:48.400
Yeah.
00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:50.240
What what were you thinking?
00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:51.920
Well, no, I might have.
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:53.200
I wanted to see it.
00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:55.920
I was gonna give you advantage if you had anything to use.
00:30:56.160 --> 00:30:56.319
No.
00:30:56.559 --> 00:30:59.119
So you're literally just taking sand and rubbing it on your sword.
00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:02.000
Yeah, just rubbing it really fast.
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:07.039
Make a I'm gonna say this, you get to choose.
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:07.440
Okay.
00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:18.480
This is either gonna be survival, sleight of hand, or um we're gonna say survival, sleight of hand, or nature, because it's sand.
00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:20.319
Okay, I'm gonna do survival.
00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:20.799
Okay.
00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:24.799
Make it with disadvantage, though, because Okay.
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:28.240
You could just scuff up your sword.
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:31.359
Okay, first one was a nine.
00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:32.000
Okay.
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:34.880
Second one, twenty-four.
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:45.200
Okay, so with a nine, goddamn, you have scuffed up your sword to where there's just a bunch of scratches on it.
00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:45.839
Oh man.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:51.279
However, you do not take any damage from the the grit.
00:31:51.519 --> 00:31:51.839
Okay, good.
00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:54.079
And your sword does not take any damage.
00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:55.279
Okay, good, good.
00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:56.880
So that was just a waste of time.
00:31:57.119 --> 00:31:59.680
I would like to yell, hey, bitch.
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:03.920
And then the end of my turn.
00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:17.039
Okay, uh, you yell, hey, bitch, and Zola's eye goes away from the green fog where she shot her laser and looks at you.
00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:24.480
And you feel the like yellow piercing glow start to encapsulate your body.
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:30.319
However, you kind of like check to make sure you're seeing and turning into stone.
00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:33.119
Yeah, big ring.
00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:37.440
Oh, I thought it was the intro to work it, make it do it, makes sense.
00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:38.640
I thought it was porn.
00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:39.119
Yeah.
00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:40.240
Oh yeah.
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:43.200
It's just an idling truck.
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:44.000
Nice.
00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:46.720
You're trying to set the atmosphere.
00:32:48.160 --> 00:32:55.200
So you feel the gaze of her eye go in you, and you feel the warmth of that laser coming into you.
00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:58.079
However, the gaze are coming into me.
00:32:58.720 --> 00:32:59.119
It's Brad.
00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:03.759
You start to look and check yourself.
00:33:04.319 --> 00:33:05.200
God damn it.
00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:12.640
Sorry.
00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:23.359
You feel the gaze of her eyesight coming into you, and you start to check yourself to see if you're turning into stone, but you feel that you're you're fine.
00:33:23.519 --> 00:33:23.759
Oh.
00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:29.519
She just knows where you are now, and she goes like, Yeah, bitch.
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:33.440
And with that, it is Mark's turn.
00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:37.759
I'm gonna try to knock over this rig with my strength.
00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:38.559
Okay.
00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:39.839
I'm gonna I'm gonna go this.
00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:45.599
And I'm also gonna yell, hey bitch, and I'm gonna get her try to get her attention.
00:33:45.920 --> 00:33:48.640
Uh, obviously, with all the noise I'm about to make.
00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:52.400
Okay, we're gonna have to make opposing strength checks.
00:33:52.559 --> 00:33:56.559
So go ahead and make a strength check, and I will make a strength check.
00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:56.960
Okay.
00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.720
Where are you ramming this thing?
00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:03.200
Uh I'm assuming I got to this to like the rectangle?
00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:06.319
No, I thought I was getting to the the part where you get it.
00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:07.200
Oh, the square.
00:34:07.359 --> 00:34:07.920
The square.
00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:08.239
Okay.
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:15.039
And I am trying to get underneath it with my horns to to topple it.
00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:15.760
To topple it.
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:16.000
Yeah.
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:16.480
Okay.
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:17.760
Oh, yeah.
00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:20.239
You want to create this is a decent idea.
00:34:21.280 --> 00:34:22.480
You want to create a fulcrum.
00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:23.360
How big are you?
00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:24.159
I'm huge.
00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:24.800
I'm a fucking.
00:34:26.559 --> 00:34:27.760
Yeah, how big is a gorgon?
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:29.039
I mean, bulls are pretty strong.
00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:30.960
But man, I'm just strong as fuck over here.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:34.800
A gorgon is a large monstrosity, so it's it is like a bull.
00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:35.920
Yeah.
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:40.800
I'm pretty sure if we took a truck, who would win in a fight?
00:34:41.840 --> 00:34:42.719
Hi, I'm Mr.
00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:43.119
Beast.
00:34:43.360 --> 00:34:45.679
I'm a metal, I'm a metal bull.
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:46.480
I'm a metal.
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:47.360
Metal?
00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:47.840
Yes.
00:34:48.079 --> 00:34:50.639
Dude, he's on the cover of a Led Zeppelin album.
00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:52.079
Metallica shirt, too.
00:34:52.320 --> 00:34:52.639
Yes.
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:54.719
I didn't know you're metal.
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:55.519
That changes things.
00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:57.440
I thought it was just like flesh and fish.
00:34:57.840 --> 00:34:59.599
No, not just like a regular bull.
00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:00.960
A regular ass bull?
00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:02.159
What kind of truck is this?
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:03.280
You said it's a square.
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:05.760
It's an 18-wheeler big rig.
00:35:05.920 --> 00:35:06.320
Uh-huh.
00:35:06.559 --> 00:35:08.079
Is it American or European?
00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:09.280
That could make a difference.
00:35:09.440 --> 00:35:11.440
Is it made by BMW or is it made by Kenworth?
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:12.559
Is this a Peterbilt?
00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:13.039
Hold on.
00:35:13.199 --> 00:35:14.159
Is it a Mercedes?
00:35:14.320 --> 00:35:17.920
So Mark is six feet tall, eight foot long, and weighs four thousand pounds.
00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:23.519
I'd say this my physical dimensions, apparently, yeah.
00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:28.639
So I take up 10 by 10 foot space, about six feet tall, yeah.
00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:30.480
Eight feet in length.
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:30.960
Okay.
00:35:31.119 --> 00:35:32.000
I'm pulling up different.
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:34.800
Which would be six by eight and not ten by ten.
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:36.159
Exactly.
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:38.719
Why do you know so many semi-trucks?
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:40.400
My grandpa used to work on them.
00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:42.559
Uh I've been around big trucks a lot.
00:35:42.719 --> 00:35:44.320
They're fucking big.
00:35:45.760 --> 00:35:48.320
Yeah, they they look bigger when you're a small kid.
00:35:48.559 --> 00:35:49.039
That's true.
00:35:49.199 --> 00:35:49.440
All right.
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:52.320
Um it's not a Volvo.
00:35:52.480 --> 00:35:53.679
It's not a Volvo.
00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:55.840
This is not a vagina one.
00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:57.119
It's a Peter belt.
00:35:57.280 --> 00:35:57.519
Oh.
00:35:57.760 --> 00:35:57.920
Okay.
00:35:58.079 --> 00:35:58.320
Okay.
00:35:58.719 --> 00:35:59.119
Whatever.
00:35:59.360 --> 00:36:00.159
That's American made.
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:01.519
PETA BILT.
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:03.280
Oh, PETA.
00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:04.960
Oh, PETA.
00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:05.519
Oh, oh.
00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:10.559
Topple me, Lowis.
00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:17.599
Okay, can I fucking roll it?
00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:18.480
I know.
00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:24.480
I'd be like, I get one free night a week, and I'm like, yeah, but then we spent all night listening to sound effects.
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:25.920
It was great.
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:32.480
Are you just uh were you the kid who had the headphones and then were just like, yeah.
00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:34.960
And the rolling backpack.
00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:37.519
I was pre-headphones.
00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:42.239
My life would have been infinitely better if I had noise-cancelling headphones in my day-to-day life.
00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:45.679
All right, go ahead and make your strength throw.
00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:46.559
Here we go.
00:36:46.880 --> 00:36:48.159
That's a that's a 20, right?
00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:48.800
That's 20.
00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:49.920
Yeah, it looks like a room.
00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:51.039
Wait, you got a nat 20?
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:51.679
Nat 20.
00:36:53.199 --> 00:36:53.840
Nat 20.
00:36:54.079 --> 00:36:54.960
Nat 20.
00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:55.440
Okay.
00:36:55.760 --> 00:36:57.280
You need to explain to me.
00:36:57.360 --> 00:36:57.760
Oh my god.
00:36:57.920 --> 00:36:59.039
You need to explain to me.
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:00.000
Explain yourself.
00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:00.400
Yeah.
00:37:00.639 --> 00:37:01.840
How you flip this over.
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:02.079
Right.
00:37:02.239 --> 00:37:03.119
Acting like a fulcrum.
00:37:03.519 --> 00:37:04.639
Tell me what happens.
00:37:04.960 --> 00:37:21.440
So I obviously I hit it the first time and bounce out a little bit, and then I come out more like five, six feet, and then charge fully directly, like at a right angle, get my horns, metal horns, underneath this truck.
00:37:21.599 --> 00:37:24.639
And you say underneath the truck, where underneath the truck?
00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:26.880
Uh underneath the part where he's sitting.
00:37:27.119 --> 00:37:29.039
The part where he's driving.
00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:30.559
Yes, under the side of the steps.
00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:31.199
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:33.440
And then flip it up as hard as I can.
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:36.000
May I add a little uh note about that?
00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:40.880
So that is where the cab connects to the to the semi-bed.
00:37:41.199 --> 00:37:43.840
Would that not just cause the cab to flip up?
00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:45.679
Well, you could.
00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:50.320
Towards towards the back, like most of the the weight is towards the front where the motor is.
00:37:50.400 --> 00:37:50.960
Oh, okay.
00:37:51.199 --> 00:37:56.639
But also, if you're going back towards where the trailer is, that is usually where the fuel tanks are.
00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:57.119
Oh.
00:37:57.519 --> 00:37:58.239
On the side.
00:37:58.480 --> 00:37:58.719
Ooh.
00:37:59.119 --> 00:38:00.320
Highly flammable fuel.
00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:02.400
Right next to the rectangle.
00:38:02.719 --> 00:38:03.840
And you're inflammable.
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:04.559
Yeah.
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:17.679
However, you are metal and the friction of metal horns on the metal gas tank could cause our second explosion of this trip.
00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:19.119
That's that's true.
00:38:19.920 --> 00:38:22.960
Sorry to try to throw that wrench in there, but that's my thought.
00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:24.320
No, that's that's great.
00:38:24.559 --> 00:38:26.079
So I'm gonna do my thing.
00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:39.440
No, I I'll go for the gas tank to pierce the gas tank with metal on metal friction so hard because I rolled the 20.
00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:47.280
Obviously, it's so your horn connects with the gas tank and it hits the fuel injector, which I think is near there.
00:38:47.440 --> 00:38:50.639
And no engine.
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:51.920
Hey, it's your world, dude.
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:52.639
Yeah, it's your injector.
00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:53.280
That's where it is.
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:53.920
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:54.480
It's your world.
00:38:54.719 --> 00:39:04.000
Yeah, it hits the fuel injector because the gas, diesel, the fuel needs to get injected into the vehicle.
00:39:04.159 --> 00:39:04.400
Yeah.
00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:08.559
And the injector is the hole where you put the gas.
00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:26.159
And so your horn goes into the gas tank and it does start to you feel heat right on your horn, and it goes hotter and hotter and hotter to where this giant explosion explodes.
00:39:26.719 --> 00:39:27.039
And it goes.
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:30.719
I'm assuming you're putting a sound effect there.
00:39:31.119 --> 00:39:31.519
Nope.
00:39:31.840 --> 00:39:32.480
Oh no.
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:34.800
It sneezed with action.
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:43.760
And this gigantic explosion causes the rectangle to come off of the square.
00:39:48.719 --> 00:39:56.000
So the trailer starts to shake and it does land onto the ground with a loud thump.
00:39:56.239 --> 00:40:03.920
However, the cab continues to drive, and now with the trailer off, he manages to speed away.
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:07.679
So he's now moving at like triple the I don't think it's possible.
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:09.039
However, what?
00:40:09.760 --> 00:40:11.360
Did you you made it explode, right?
00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:11.760
Yeah.
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:14.239
And I thought you were like flipping it as you were making it explode.
00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:14.639
Yeah.
00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:16.159
You you just made the thing explode, right?
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:19.519
Yeah, no, that's that's the idea of in the gas tank, yeah.
00:40:19.679 --> 00:40:19.840
Yeah.
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:26.719
You made the well, first of all, if the explosion's big enough, like wouldn't it take out the either the whole truck or both gas tanks?
00:40:27.039 --> 00:40:33.840
So what it did was the explosion caused it to uncouple from the cab.
00:40:34.079 --> 00:40:34.400
Yeah.
00:40:34.719 --> 00:40:36.079
Because the gas is back here.
00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:36.800
Yeah.
00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:39.519
The thing that fuels the truck to make it speed off?
00:40:39.760 --> 00:40:41.199
That was the main problem with it.
00:40:41.440 --> 00:40:47.280
I'm saying that the cab, uh-huh, not the cab, the trailer has come off.
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:47.599
Yeah.
00:40:47.760 --> 00:40:49.679
You have flipped the trailer effectively.
00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:51.920
The explosion has knocked it down.
00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:52.320
Uh-huh.
00:40:52.480 --> 00:40:57.039
However, the explosion has also boosted the cab.
00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:57.920
Oh, I see.
00:40:58.079 --> 00:40:58.400
All right.
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:01.760
Okay, so real quick, this is a picture of a semi explosion.
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:05.280
I just want to make sure if we think that this is probably what happened.
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:06.639
Okay, so hold on.
00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:08.880
Uh so we're currently watching it.
00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:10.400
Looks like a California fire.
00:41:10.559 --> 00:41:12.239
So that's the semi that just exploded.
00:41:12.400 --> 00:41:12.639
Yes.
00:41:12.800 --> 00:41:14.079
And he drove away from that?
00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:15.280
Yes, he did.
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:16.239
Oh, crazy.
00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:18.719
Okay, just want to make sure, just clarifying.
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:19.599
Just clarifying.
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:21.840
What a pussy explosion for an An 20.
00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:26.400
However, the trailer is left.
00:41:26.559 --> 00:41:29.199
And it is intact because it also is metal.
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:32.880
And as we know famously from Shane, metal does not burn.
00:41:34.079 --> 00:41:34.400
Correct.
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:35.760
Wait, what did I say that?
00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:36.159
Oh, yeah.
00:41:36.559 --> 00:41:39.760
Yeah, you said metal is like your fireproof or something.
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:40.719
It should be.
00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:41.760
Steel beams.
00:41:42.079 --> 00:41:42.639
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:41:42.800 --> 00:41:43.360
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:45.280
This is diesel fuel, not jet fuel.
00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:45.840
Yeah, see that?
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:46.559
Look at that.
00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:52.719
Anyway, this is You got one free night and you're here looking at trucks.
00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:55.119
It's fucking you're listening to truck sounds.
00:41:55.519 --> 00:41:57.840
Next thing you know, Mark's gonna look up truck smells.
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:00.480
My Google's broken.
00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:01.760
I can't smell this at all.
00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:06.400
I can go down to the gas station and take a little bit of diesel and like blowing.
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:10.000
And then maybe that girl will go on a second date with you.
00:42:11.119 --> 00:42:11.920
I doubt it.
00:42:12.079 --> 00:42:12.480
Oh well.
00:42:12.639 --> 00:42:12.960
All right.
00:42:13.039 --> 00:42:15.199
And with that, AI, it is your turn.
00:42:15.519 --> 00:42:21.119
And I, completing the trifecta, go, hey, bitch!
00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:22.880
Look over here.
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:27.519
And as I I don't even look, I don't even check.
00:42:27.679 --> 00:42:40.239
I just hold the mirror at her and do slight movements to make to hope you get the exact angle for the other eye to take the light in.
00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:43.360
Slight small movements on my wrist.
00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:44.239
We've all been there.
00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:44.559
Yeah.
00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:45.039
Yeah.
00:42:45.519 --> 00:42:52.159
Somebody, some BMW is riding behind you, five foot flashing their high beams, and I am Is she smart enough to not look?
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:52.960
Let's see.
00:42:53.199 --> 00:42:55.280
I said, Hey bitch, she looked at everybody else's at a bit.
00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:55.920
Yeah, really.
00:42:56.559 --> 00:43:01.519
She goes, Well, all three of you are rude.
00:43:01.679 --> 00:43:06.000
And she whips her head to look at you when she says rude.
00:43:06.079 --> 00:43:11.920
And right as she does, her eye catches the middle of the glass of the mirror.
00:43:12.239 --> 00:43:13.679
And she goes, Is that great?
00:43:15.119 --> 00:43:18.000
And it bounces back into her other eye.
00:43:18.239 --> 00:43:20.719
And so now both of the gazes have been stopped.
00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:23.119
And she's like, oh shit.
00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:34.880
So she's like, Well, that's that's kind of all I can do.
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:38.639
Um, she's about to become Daredevil of Gorgon.
00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:39.119
Yeah, yeah.
00:43:39.519 --> 00:43:40.239
Help.
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:42.880
I can't swim.
00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:44.239
Oh, now I feel bad.
00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:45.039
Help.
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:46.480
We're out of combat.
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:47.840
All right, perfect.
00:43:48.159 --> 00:43:48.480
Great.
00:43:48.719 --> 00:43:49.119
Help.
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:50.400
Nice work, guys.
00:43:50.719 --> 00:43:51.119
All right.
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:52.559
What do we do?
00:43:52.639 --> 00:43:54.800
Do we get do we get into the buggy and we follow the truck?
00:43:55.119 --> 00:43:57.440
That is somehow prep being propelled forward.
00:43:57.599 --> 00:43:58.719
I feel like we should just go to the trucks.
00:43:58.800 --> 00:43:59.519
I don't think it's gonna go very fast.
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:00.559
That's a good idea.
00:44:00.639 --> 00:44:02.239
And we can't without fuel, right?
00:44:02.480 --> 00:44:02.880
There's no fuel.
00:44:04.159 --> 00:44:06.480
The truck is like speeding off into the sunset.
00:44:06.559 --> 00:44:07.840
But fuel fueled by what?
00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:08.079
Yeah.
00:44:08.239 --> 00:44:08.800
Fueled by what?
00:44:08.960 --> 00:44:11.519
Is it a fucking solar-powered truck?
00:44:12.400 --> 00:44:14.159
The shit exploded.
00:44:14.639 --> 00:44:15.519
It went boom.
00:44:15.599 --> 00:44:17.039
It was a 20-sided boom.
00:44:17.199 --> 00:44:18.079
When the author wrote.
00:44:18.639 --> 00:44:20.320
Can I get 20 big boom?
00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:21.679
Boom.
00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:22.239
Boom.
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:22.880
Boom.
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:25.119
Costco guys are pissed.
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:26.960
When the author wrote it, what?
00:44:27.280 --> 00:44:28.400
The explosion propelled it.
00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:29.440
It's writing momentum.
00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:30.800
It's going off into the sunset.
00:44:31.039 --> 00:44:32.800
Oh, so like a cartoon.
00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:33.599
Oh.
00:44:34.159 --> 00:44:35.440
Like a cartoon, you say.
00:44:35.599 --> 00:44:35.920
Yes.
00:44:36.639 --> 00:44:38.400
Physics doesn't matter in a cartoon.
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:39.119
All right.
00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:50.239
What I do is I go over to the trailer and like a cartoon, I take my talon and I draw a big circle in the side of the truck.
00:44:51.199 --> 00:45:07.199
And then as it just gets right to the very end, a little less little tink, I take my my other talon, my other hand, and I poke it ever so slightly so that the circle spins on its middle and goes before it stops.
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:12.159
And I go, why don't I take a look in here?
00:45:12.320 --> 00:45:14.800
And then I poke my head in like a cartoon.
00:45:14.960 --> 00:45:15.199
Yeah.
00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:16.320
What do I see?
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:17.840
That does happen.
00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:22.239
This was in my notes.
00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:24.159
We've been playing it wrong! Yeah.
00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:25.519
This was in my notes.
00:45:25.599 --> 00:45:31.840
Oh that does happen because as you stick your head into whoop, you see.
00:45:36.719 --> 00:45:37.599
She's pretty hot.
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:48.400
You see one of the little orbs from the original Dunkel Sprout, but it's not mad maxified at all.
00:45:48.639 --> 00:45:51.599
And it still has the cartoon physics.
00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:55.360
And you see it like bouncing up and down, bouncing around.
00:45:55.599 --> 00:45:56.559
I eat it.
00:45:57.119 --> 00:45:58.239
I eat it.
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:01.039
I want it in me.
00:46:01.199 --> 00:46:03.199
I want the power of it.
00:46:03.519 --> 00:46:05.039
You pissed me off.
00:46:05.519 --> 00:46:07.360
Make a constitution saving throw.
00:46:08.480 --> 00:46:08.800
No.
00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:10.480
One!
00:46:18.719 --> 00:46:21.519
You've seriously got a I seriously got a one.
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:24.719
Okay.
00:46:25.920 --> 00:46:26.960
Do I okay?
00:46:27.119 --> 00:46:29.199
Can can I pitch to you what I think happens?
00:46:29.360 --> 00:46:29.840
Yeah.
00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:32.159
I go, what do we have here?
00:46:32.239 --> 00:46:43.039
And I take it in my one hand and I hold it over me and I go, and it goes, you see it like an anaconda going down my throat and into my belly.
00:46:43.280 --> 00:46:44.480
You hear it go boing.
00:46:45.760 --> 00:46:50.480
And then all of a sudden, I give a little cough, a little burp.
00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:51.519
There's some indigestion.
00:46:51.760 --> 00:46:52.800
And then I go, uh-oh.
00:46:53.119 --> 00:47:00.159
And then you see the inside of my my body protrude out to the to the right, to the left, backward, forward.
00:47:05.440 --> 00:47:06.480
Huge explosion.
00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:11.280
My mouth, smoke comes out, and I go, I don't feel so good, fellas.
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:19.440
And you see it start to like uh go around the inside of my belly, gaining momentum, gaining momentum, gaining momentum.
00:47:19.920 --> 00:47:32.400
Until all of a sudden, I lean forward tight in on my face, my eyes get big, huge fart, gigantic fart, and like an anvil, it passes out of me.
00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:36.960
I can't I I I offer you five points of damage for that.
00:47:37.199 --> 00:47:40.079
I'll give you you take five points of damage for that.
00:47:41.599 --> 00:47:46.239
It falls out of him and it goes back to bouncing on the inside of the trailer.
00:47:46.480 --> 00:47:48.480
I don't think I was the right one for that, fellas.
00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:49.039
I don't think so.
00:47:49.119 --> 00:47:49.760
I'm not touching it.
00:47:49.840 --> 00:47:50.400
I'm not touching it.
00:47:50.639 --> 00:47:52.159
Well, I mean, somebody should try to eat it.
00:47:52.239 --> 00:47:53.280
I think you're gonna embody.
00:47:55.039 --> 00:47:59.519
I think you're gonna embody the the cartoonishness of it.
00:47:59.840 --> 00:48:01.920
Then you can do fucking whatever you want.
00:48:02.159 --> 00:48:03.119
Oh man, that does sound like that.
00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:06.320
I'm gonna have to spray that thing down before I touch it.
00:48:06.559 --> 00:48:07.440
Oh man.
00:48:07.679 --> 00:48:10.639
Oh yeah, I'm not taking anything that came out of your cloaca.
00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:11.519
I'll eat it again.
00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:12.239
You can try.
00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:13.119
I try it again.
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:15.519
Constitution saving throw.
00:48:16.639 --> 00:48:17.760
Constitution.
00:48:18.159 --> 00:48:19.039
64.
00:48:19.920 --> 00:48:21.360
Is that what I need to answer?
00:48:21.519 --> 00:48:22.079
No, no.
00:48:22.239 --> 00:48:23.119
Uh all right.
00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:26.239
I have a 13 plus one is 14.
00:48:26.480 --> 00:48:29.920
Okay, with a 14, you manage to swallow it down.
00:48:30.079 --> 00:48:41.199
It starts to you see it go past your neck, it goes boing, it bounces, does the same bouncing thing inside you, but then you manage to like finally catch it inside of you and shove it down.
00:48:41.519 --> 00:48:46.480
All of the sudden, you feel your bodily anatomy start to change.
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:51.199
Your bones that you once had are now more rubbified.
00:48:51.599 --> 00:49:02.000
Your skin and feathers are now stretchy, and you now have the magical ability of I'm gonna call it Roger Rabbit powers.
00:49:02.400 --> 00:49:06.639
So what what he says in Who Frames Roger Rabbit, you have these powers.
00:49:06.800 --> 00:49:12.239
It's going to be up to me, Shane, okay, and Mark.
00:49:12.480 --> 00:49:12.960
Alright.
00:49:13.199 --> 00:49:16.639
You have nine omnipotent powers in this chapter.
00:49:16.880 --> 00:49:17.199
Okay.
00:49:17.599 --> 00:49:20.159
They only work when it's funny.
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:20.719
Okay.
00:49:20.960 --> 00:49:21.280
All right.
00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:21.840
That's it.
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:22.320
Okay.
00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:22.880
Okay.
00:49:23.119 --> 00:49:23.760
Sounds good.
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:24.400
All right.
00:49:24.639 --> 00:49:25.199
All right.
00:49:25.440 --> 00:49:26.320
So I get.
00:49:26.559 --> 00:49:28.880
anybody have any thoughts before I let loose?
00:49:29.119 --> 00:49:30.960
I don't want to see a swallow that thing again.
00:49:31.039 --> 00:49:31.679
Keep it inside.
00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:32.800
Yeah, keep it inside.
00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:33.199
Yeah, yeah.
00:49:34.880 --> 00:49:36.480
And I go, uh, don't worry.
00:49:36.559 --> 00:49:46.960
I usually spit and then I spit over to the side and you hear it ding, like it's an old uh Western cartoon, and you look back at me, and then I'm dressed as a cowboy.
00:49:48.639 --> 00:49:49.199
Hell yeah.
00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:50.320
Sounds like that one worked.
00:49:50.559 --> 00:49:50.800
All right, well.
00:49:53.440 --> 00:49:54.239
I love it.
00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:57.840
Now I go, if you excuse me, I got work to do.
00:49:58.079 --> 00:49:58.800
Cut two.
00:49:59.280 --> 00:50:01.519
Cartoon driving the truck.
00:50:05.360 --> 00:50:06.639
We see him.
00:50:06.960 --> 00:50:10.400
Uh we see from his perspective, looking out of the cab of the truck.
00:50:10.639 --> 00:50:14.559
He sees on the side of the road, what is this beautiful woman?
00:50:14.719 --> 00:50:16.559
Certainly with those legs, it must be.
00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:29.920
Short leather skirt, fish nets, uh, cute little pink uh uh top, beautiful curly blonde hair, leg outstretched.
00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:31.119
She's looking for a ride.
00:50:31.360 --> 00:50:31.760
Sure.
00:50:32.320 --> 00:50:38.320
Cartoon, his eyes turn into small hearts and they go, boing.
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:40.480
The horn goes.
00:50:43.119 --> 00:50:46.880
And he pulls over and he goes, Well, well, hey there, Miss.
00:50:47.440 --> 00:50:50.800
Oh, you're so nice to stop and help a lady.
00:50:53.199 --> 00:50:56.960
We'll hop on in work, we're going up to Meanie Berg Hill.
00:50:57.119 --> 00:51:01.039
I go boing, boing, boing, up into the steps, and I go, Oh, this is nice.
00:51:01.599 --> 00:51:05.039
You want, you want to pick.
00:51:05.760 --> 00:51:08.079
Listen, this is the character's gonna be gone in a minute, anyway.
00:51:08.320 --> 00:51:09.679
Okay, here we go.
00:51:09.840 --> 00:51:11.519
And he puts on some wounds.
00:51:11.840 --> 00:51:12.480
Where are we headed?
00:51:13.280 --> 00:51:15.119
I just fucking said Meanie Burg Hill.
00:51:15.679 --> 00:51:16.960
You're a mean one.
00:51:18.079 --> 00:51:18.480
Mr.
00:51:18.719 --> 00:51:19.440
Grinch.
00:51:21.440 --> 00:51:22.320
This will never work.
00:51:22.400 --> 00:51:23.199
They're already arguing.
00:51:23.440 --> 00:51:23.920
Yeah, I know.
00:51:26.079 --> 00:51:31.920
I very conspicuously actually I want to I want to say, oh, dude, would you like a snack?
00:51:32.239 --> 00:51:33.039
A snack?
00:51:33.199 --> 00:51:35.440
Yeah, a little for the road.
00:51:37.199 --> 00:51:38.960
I think I embodied Grant on accident.
00:51:39.679 --> 00:51:41.360
I think he doesn't know what a snack is.
00:51:41.599 --> 00:51:42.800
Yes, a little timid.
00:51:43.119 --> 00:51:44.239
No, that's what a snack is.
00:51:46.400 --> 00:51:47.119
All right, sure.
00:51:47.519 --> 00:51:50.159
I dig through my purse and I go, that's not it.
00:51:50.400 --> 00:51:59.760
And I take like uh I take out a bowling ball, throw it behind me, loud crash, dig through a little bit more, take out a severed head, that's not it, throw it back.
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:04.880
I take out a can of paint with uh a paintbrush in it.
00:52:05.039 --> 00:52:06.719
I go, well, that's certainly not it.
00:52:06.960 --> 00:52:08.880
Throw it behind, and I go, Oh, what's this?
00:52:09.039 --> 00:52:10.159
A Snickers bar.
00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:11.440
That's for you.
00:52:11.920 --> 00:52:14.639
And I hand it over to Carnune.
00:52:15.280 --> 00:52:16.159
He he takes it.
00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:19.280
Takes it and he goes, Does he eat it?
00:52:19.519 --> 00:52:21.599
Uh yeah, he peels the wrapper.
00:52:23.360 --> 00:52:24.800
Oh, would you look at that?
00:52:24.960 --> 00:52:25.679
A tunnel.
00:52:26.159 --> 00:52:28.960
He looks, I assume, towards the tunnel.
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:31.519
Better turn your lights on.
00:52:32.320 --> 00:52:34.079
He he flicks his lights on.
00:52:34.320 --> 00:52:35.920
Uh he looks back.
00:52:36.159 --> 00:52:37.280
Who's the DM here?
00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:38.800
That's what I'm wondering.
00:52:39.039 --> 00:52:39.519
He looks back.
00:52:39.679 --> 00:52:41.280
I have an eye on his house.
00:52:42.320 --> 00:52:44.079
Looks back to the passenger seat.
00:52:44.239 --> 00:52:51.760
Uh there is a uh you have heard a boom, and there's dust where I have jumped out of the window.
00:52:52.000 --> 00:53:07.920
You look forward, and I I think slowly as the truck approaches the tunnel, uh, Carn at the very last second realizes it is but a a painted outline of a tunnel on the side of a mountain.
00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:13.119
And so he takes this cab of this 18-wheeler and this square.
00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:14.719
Sorry, uh, do we want to do a check?
00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:15.199
Is that funny?
00:53:15.360 --> 00:53:15.920
No, that's good.
00:53:16.079 --> 00:53:16.239
Okay.
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:18.000
In the square.
00:53:22.559 --> 00:53:25.199
The square rams into the side of the mountain.
00:53:25.519 --> 00:53:26.639
Does it become flat?
00:53:26.880 --> 00:53:28.960
It well, it it doesn't become flat.
00:53:29.039 --> 00:53:35.280
It creates a tunnel as he's going through, and you see, like, you don't see the initial impact.
00:53:35.360 --> 00:54:12.400
All you see is loud flashing lights and like jagged red and blue and yellow lines, and you see squiggles and stuff, and when the smoke dissipates, you see just an empty hole where you like he continued crashing through, and through the other side of the mountain, you see tipped over the cab, and you see him almost crawling on one arm, and you see him crawl into a gigantic hole that is on the other side of the mountain as he slips inside there.
00:54:12.880 --> 00:54:14.880
Cut to the inside of the No!
00:54:15.679 --> 00:54:18.880
I have nigh omnimp to powers, and everybody just laughed at what I said.
00:54:19.039 --> 00:54:23.039
So because this is the next session.
00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:25.039
But I got one more thing.
00:54:25.199 --> 00:54:25.440
Okay.
00:54:26.320 --> 00:54:29.360
Right before he goes in, right before he goes in, is he angry?
00:54:29.519 --> 00:54:30.239
Is he mad at me?
00:54:30.400 --> 00:54:31.679
Yes, he's he's pretty pissed.
00:54:31.920 --> 00:54:32.719
Is it on his face?
00:54:32.960 --> 00:54:35.599
Yes, and he has a big old lump at the top of his head.
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:37.519
Are there birds going around there?
00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:41.440
And I go, uh well, I don't want him mad at me.
00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:57.679
And uh at that moment, an old uh uh telegram delivery person shows up, it's me, and I'm in the little outfit, and I I go, There's a telegram and a delivery for a uh big dumb asshole.
00:54:58.559 --> 00:54:59.679
It's probably you.
00:55:00.559 --> 00:55:05.599
And uh it's a bunch of flowers, and it goes, Oh, this is from AIE.
00:55:05.679 --> 00:55:07.119
Uh, he says he's sorry.
00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:09.440
Oh hands over the flowers.
00:55:09.679 --> 00:55:11.039
Well, how nice.
00:55:11.280 --> 00:55:19.920
And at that moment, realizes there is a stick of dynamite in the middle of the flowers, and it is just getting to the last bit of the wick.
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:28.079
And then you can see um all of this while this is happening.
00:55:28.239 --> 00:55:36.800
We cut back to John and Ranger, who AI has just seemingly disapparated.
00:55:37.360 --> 00:55:39.119
I feel like you hear far-off boing, boing.
00:55:39.199 --> 00:55:39.760
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:39.920 --> 00:55:40.559
Boing boing boing.
00:55:40.880 --> 00:56:06.400
You look over to like in the far-off distance, all you see is a flaming cartoon on like his butt is on fire up in the air, going yeah, as he lands right into the hole uh in the crater that he went through, and then suddenly AI apparates back at you guys.
00:56:06.719 --> 00:56:07.519
What I miss.
00:56:08.480 --> 00:56:09.599
What you miss?
00:56:10.239 --> 00:56:11.119
What we miss.
00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:13.360
And then I kiss you big on the cheek.
00:56:14.880 --> 00:56:47.039
And then pulling up very terribly, the Dune buggy is your son you.com slash comedy and dice.
00:56:47.119 --> 00:56:50.960
That is patreon.com slash comedy, the letter in dice.
00:56:51.360 --> 00:56:52.480
Thank you to our cast.
00:56:52.559 --> 00:56:54.880
I have been Tylerwood playing AIE.
00:56:54.960 --> 00:57:01.039
We have Brant Janick as our Dungeon Master, Shane Smith as Ranger Danger, and Mark Brady as Jocelyn.
00:57:01.440 --> 00:57:06.719
If you're in the triangle area, please check us out at the Gathering Place coming up June 27th.
00:57:06.800 --> 00:57:09.119
That is a Saturday, just a couple of weeks from now.
00:57:09.360 --> 00:57:11.599
And we're gonna be doing a live show there.
00:57:11.840 --> 00:57:20.159
If you've never been to one of our live shows, it's a ton of fun, it's interactive, you can win some prizes, so please come out, have fun, maybe they'll have us back.
00:57:20.559 --> 00:57:27.840
If you want to support the podcast and don't want to do so monetarily, completely understand the economy is a mess right now.
00:57:28.079 --> 00:57:33.760
You can support by telling a friend or leaving a comment or listening to us while you fall asleep.
00:57:33.920 --> 00:57:40.880
Any of those go a long way, and we really appreciate all of the support in every single one of you that listen every single week.
00:57:40.960 --> 00:57:46.000
And hey, if you're just checking us out, a weird place to start, but we appreciate that too.
00:57:46.159 --> 00:57:54.480
So, with all that out of the way, I want to say thank you again, and we will see you in just a couple of weeks on June 24th for another episode.
00:57:54.639 --> 00:57:55.920
We'll talk to you then.
00:57:57.840 --> 00:57:58.880
Mark, what you got?
00:58:00.320 --> 00:58:00.719
I'm