Chasing Thoughts | S03 E05: Chasing Down Beliefs

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What is my next challenge in daring to be human?
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How do I connect with life?
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How can I let go of my need for fixed answers in favor of aliveness?
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How do I live free from the experiences that shaped me?
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How can we be the change the world needs right now?
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Join us weekly for story conversations about life.
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It is our mission to allow life itself to reveal to us the answers.
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Welcome to Chasing Thoughts.
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Hello everybody, welcome to Chasing Thoughts. How you doing, Kee?
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Pretty good. How about you?
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Pretty good.
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Nice.
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So I'm excited about today because if you don't watch this show all the time,
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you might not know that what Keith and I do is show up not knowing anything
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with a topic to try to find some answers and through the process of discussion,
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unveil bigger truths than we currently know.
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And this topic we're talking about today, I need a bigger truth on.
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Yeah.
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So what Keith, I'll speak for myself and then you can show your experience,
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Keith.
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So this is what it's like to be Mindy.
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I have a fire hose of ideas that is huge.
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I have notebooks and napkins and things written everywhere.
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I have a thousand screenshots on my phone.
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I have 500 voice memos to myself on my show.
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I am always filled with ideas of videos I want to make, courses I want to write,
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things I want to do.
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So there's that piece.
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Then when I actually sit down and do work, I'm pretty proficient at working.
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I have great writing skills. I have great editing skills.
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I can produce most of what I want to produce.
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I have a lot of ideas.
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The middle section of how to get this fire hose narrowed down so that I
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actually can produce and do produce something.
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I have no idea about that is such a mystery to me and I am struggling with
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it so much.
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So that's sort of how I would describe it.
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What's your experience?
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I do a similar thing except with papers.
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I don't know why I got into this, but someone years ago had one of these
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pads.
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All their notes were on it and none of the pages were ripped out like I'm doing.
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That is the coolest thing.
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When I went to college, instead of getting a notebook and stuff, I just had
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these.
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I love doing that.
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I love doing that.
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These are all my to-do lists that I created that I never get to because I
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freeze.
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Yes.
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Because to me, everything, people say, well, figure out what's the
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priority.
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And my mind immediately goes everything.
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Yes.
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So I want to continue with my classes.
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I got a post on social media.
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I got a lot of people who are watching my videos and I'm going to
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do a lot of other videos and diving into YouTube.
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I want to start a thing for merch.
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I think I have like a great idea for,
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for stuff that I can start selling that aligns with.
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The person that I am.
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And in my mind, I'm like, okay, everything is the priority.
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And then I sit on my couch and like watching practical jokers or,
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and watching myself and, and watching myself.
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Just getting to the bottom of it.
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So I will be like, all right.
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I will go to school.
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And then by the time I get the motivation to work,
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I have like an hour.
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Before I got to stop and do something else.
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Yeah.
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So yeah, that that, like you said,
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that middle portion, like getting from point A to point B.
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I was lost.
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is this gonna lead to that answer, which is really cool.
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What was it?
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So I was sitting in my backyard.
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It was a busy day.
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I had to start going to PT
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because something's up with my rotator cuff and stuff.
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And I've been putting it off for so long
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because of all that freeze and all that I had to do.
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Like I didn't wanna take another two hours out of my day
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twice a week to go to PT where I could be working,
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which I never end up working anyway.
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So, but still I couldn't do that two hours.
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So it finally got to the point where I was like,
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wasn't sleeping and my shoulder got so weak
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that I would like pick up the coffee pot
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and it would just drop.
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I just could not hold it up.
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And so I started going and I got home
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and I was feeling that anxiety.
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So I'm like, you know what?
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I'm gonna smoke because that always gets me like laser focused.
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And then I'm gonna go in and work.
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So I went out back, I was just sitting in the shade of my tree
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and smoking and this weird thought came to me.
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I wanna try to make this mysterious.
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So I'll tell you the weird thought,
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but I won't tell you what it is yet.
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And then as I went through that
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and just sort of let my mind travel down this wormhole,
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I really felt like I was on to something important for me,
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but I didn't know like where it fit.
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And until we started talking today,
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I'm like, I wonder if this is where it fits.
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But then the weird thing, and this is cool
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because this all goes about meaning,
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and we can put the meaning on whatever,
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like our own experiences.
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And it doesn't mean like, oh, this is truth or not,
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but it's the meaning that we give it.
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And that's what holds the power.
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So all of a sudden, as I'm sitting there,
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this Falcon comes swooping down and we're not,
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like we're suburbs.
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So normally I see him like a hundred feet up
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or whatever, just circling and stuff.
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But he was like, I was sitting down
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and he was eye level with me.
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And he was about 10 feet away.
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Well, that's cool.
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Yeah, like right over the top of my neighbor's fence.
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And it was like focused so much on this little path
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in between the fence and these trees.
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And then it landed and like, and it kept going down.
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And then I heard this squirrel like starting to chitter
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and stuff.
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And I was like, ah, poor squirrel.
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But I was happy that the Falcon like, you know,
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got something to eat.
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But as I was sitting here like waiting to log on,
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I was looking at that Falcon feather that I found
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in the woods after one of my mushroom wars,
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mushroom walks.
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And this was one of the things that it was a moment
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where a new belief system kind of took hold.
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And I found this Falcon feather.
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And so I had it like right here.
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And I looked it up and it says,
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so these feathers represent speed movement and soul healing.
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And it can represent on our trust, strength, wisdom,
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power and freedom.
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And for me, like what we're looking for is freedom.
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We're looking for the freedom to be able to follow
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that passion without whatever that is,
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that fear that is holding us back from that.
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And I was, so just now as I was thinking this,
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like in a course, stoned up, I was like, ooh,
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that Falcon actually has a me.
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It wasn't just like a thing that happened.
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Like had a meaning.
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Yeah, it's so funny.
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I was cracking up at the beginning of your story
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because I've been having problems with my rotator cuff.
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I have like a limited range of motion.
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And I haven't called the doctor
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and I haven't taken care of it because what I realized is
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when I think of things that I need to do,
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any type of organizational task, like,
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oh, I need to go over my to-do list.
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Oh, I should transfer the notes from my phone
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to my master to do, or like whatever it is.
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I should save this to the file
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instead of saving it to my desktop,
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which is covered in a million files.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Something in my brain that says, you don't have time.
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And I'm like, why is my brain saying that to me?
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Like what is my relationship with time
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that I feel trapped or controlled by time
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or my perceived limit of time?
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Yes, dude. Oh my God, yes.
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And I feel like I'm in a constant angst
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and struggle with time every day.
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And I wasn't aware of that
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until I started getting ready for this conversation.
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And I'm like, what's really going on?
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And I feel like honestly, if you asked me in this moment,
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I'm like, I hate time.
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I just want all the time in the world.
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I don't want to have to sleep.
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I don't want to have to eat.
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I just want to be able to do what I'm passionate about, right?
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And I feel like time is my enemy almost.
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Like I have a real, it's not,
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I'm not on friendly terms with time right now.
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And I think that's part of the problem for me.
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Yeah, I mean, I thought,
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I feel the same way about time,
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but I never thought of it like in that way.
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Like I'm not on good terms with time.
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Like that is beautiful, man.
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Wow, yeah.
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Cause I always do that.
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Everything is about time, time.
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And I'm always running out.
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It's from a place of scarcity.
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And ironically, that was one of the things
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I loved about Christianity was everlasting life.
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Christianity and vampires.
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Woo!
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, dude.
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Yeah, like, I mean, cause I'm thinking like,
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I'm going to travel the universe.
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I want to go under the ocean.
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Like I want to spend years, hundreds of years
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just under the ocean seeing all this stuff, you know,
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just this fantasy of whatever lasting life can look like.
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You know, of course, from my, what I want to do.
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But, and this, and that's what I love about consciousness too,
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because I feel like I'm actually tapping into that,
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to the idea of eternity, you know, with that.
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But yeah, dude, time is, why do we look at time like that?
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Yeah.
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I remember there was a time in my life where,
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I guess I used to be more woo-woo or magical.
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And I used to think, I used to have a better relationship
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with time when I would think,
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I'm just going to stretch these two hours out
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cause I need to get this much done.
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I'm going to make these, and I did,
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and I was always successful at it.
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Like I always was able to create the time I needed.
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And I don't know if it was going through
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the executive director thing or my accident, right?
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People change, I change.
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And my relationship with time is now less healthy
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than it used to be.
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And I feel like I'm a victim to time.
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And that could also be getting older, right?
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In your twenties, it feels like you have a lot of time.
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In your mid-forties, it feels like you have less.
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But I'd like to talk about what I could replace
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that belief system with that's believable to me
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so that I can have a better relationship with time every day.
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So when I tell myself, you don't have time,
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what do I replace that thought with?
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Cause that's always with me.
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I don't have time to work out.
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I don't have time to go for a walk.
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I don't have time to eat, right?
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I don't have time to make a doctor's appointment.
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So, all right, so let me tell you the thought I had.
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And then in relation to this, your question on
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what do I change that with?
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This is the thing that's interesting to see
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if we can like together like kind of pull something out of it.
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So as I was sitting there smoking this thought,
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just it was like one of those things
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that just won't pops into your head.
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And all right, I'm trying to like put it
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into the right word so that it makes sense.
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But intention, our intention is the observer.
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That was the thought.
259
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So, cause we always talk about like,
260
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we are the observers of our thoughts.
261
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So we're the, that's our consciousness.
262
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That's where we are, not the thoughts.
263
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,680
The thoughts just come, but I'm trying to change
264
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that way of thinking by using my thoughts.
265
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The thing that I'm not.
266
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:15,920
So I started like, nobody can prove consciousness,
267
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,000
but what we can do is there's a verse in the Bible,
268
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I think it's in James that says,
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I will show you my faith through my works.
270
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So like in our version of Christianity,
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you weren't saved by works or saved by faith,
272
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but that faith should lead to works
273
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that people could see that, oh, hey, this person is different.
274
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I won't go into any Christian ranks today
275
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because I want to stay on top of it.
276
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But so, damn it.
277
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It's a good strain I had.
278
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:54,240
So my mind just went right down the Christian rabbit hole.
279
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So our intentions are observer.
280
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So, when we keep our focus on our intention,
281
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why we're doing all of this stuff,
282
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,560
that's when I feel most aligned.
283
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:16,480
And when I'm focused on the time, my scarcity to it,
284
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all the stuff that I have to get done,
285
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the fact that everything,
286
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:26,000
all these bullshit lies that my brain tells me.
287
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When I put my focus on that,
288
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that's where it becomes overwhelming.
289
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:33,400
But as soon as I go back to the singularity of my intention,
290
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everything just, it feels open.
291
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:40,880
Yeah.
292
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,160
And the cool thing too about,
293
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,560
so singularities are found in black holes
294
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,320
and a black hole, no matter the size,
295
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:53,000
the gravity of that is so strong
296
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:57,080
that it can warp an entire universe to live within it.
297
00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,360
So one of the theories is that we are a universe
298
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,520
within a black hole.
299
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,680
And then that is a universe within,
300
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,280
it's just like a whole series of like Russian nesting dial.
301
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,440
So when I look at the intention,
302
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,880
that singularity of intention,
303
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:17,880
it opens me up to this infinite space.
304
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,160
Almost like I feel like I'm skimming across the top
305
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,480
of like that quantum field
306
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,280
where everything is and is not at the same time.
307
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,200
Yeah.
308
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,840
I love that concept.
309
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,560
And going back to the original part
310
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,000
that you were talking about,
311
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,320
Bruce Lipton describes it like,
312
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,600
your DNA is like your hardware, your computer, right?
313
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,840
Your thoughts is like the programs of software
314
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:50,600
and consciousness, your intention is the operator.
315
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,680
So you're operating, you're installing this software
316
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,040
of thoughts and that software of thoughts is building,
317
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,600
is turning on the precursor for cancer
318
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,600
or keeping the precursor for cancer off,
319
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,840
is turning on a gene or right,
320
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:09,120
that you have a relationship with your physical body.
321
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,160
So that was interesting because,
322
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,760
is similar to what you're seeing is I'm using my thoughts,
323
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,840
that's what, that which I am not, right?
324
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,160
To influence my reality,
325
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,960
but it's kind of like you have to learn how to operate it.
326
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,520
Like, okay, some consciousness says,
327
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,160
I wanna believe I have abundant time, time is an illusion.
328
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,600
I can do as many things as I want to.
329
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,120
That's what I wanna believe.
330
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,440
And then I have to use my thoughts
331
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:42,400
to actually program my actions, right?
332
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,120
Yeah.
333
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,240
Because what's the big T truth about time?
334
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,440
Like what is the consciousness truth about time?
335
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,760
That there's,
336
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,640
Yeah, it's eternal.
337
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,760
It's eternal, it's forwards and backwards,
338
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,640
it's everything, right?
339
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,000
Yeah.
340
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,920
So then, you know, you have your thoughts
341
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,600
and because we're humans, we have things like cynicism
342
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,000
and doubt and disbelief that rise up
343
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,520
into the melting pot.
344
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,400
But I don't know if I told myself time is an illusion,
345
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,960
if that would be believable enough for me
346
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,400
to reprogram my mindset in the moment
347
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,280
when I'm feeling stressed for time.
348
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,200
Yeah, and that's what I did for so long, you know?
349
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,680
And then I would get in the same space
350
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,520
and then I would tell myself the same stuff,
351
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,040
like, okay, I'm not my thoughts,
352
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,160
I'm the observer of them, I'm the consciousness,
353
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,720
I'm eternal, all this stuff, but nothing changed.
354
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:47,720
And because it was like, it was a belief in my head,
355
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,360
but not in my heart.
356
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,680
Right, yes.
357
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,800
It wasn't a belief that I wasn't,
358
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,200
it was a belief that I was not connected with.
359
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,960
And then when I had that thought of,
360
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,200
my brain is gonna give me all of these questions.
361
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,240
And the questions literally don't matter.
362
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,800
What matters is the intention,
363
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,480
you know, because the intention is why you wanna do things
364
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,920
on what you're gonna do, right?
365
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:20,400
And so connecting to that, why I wanna do this.
366
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,400
All of it, like, it's just one of those,
367
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:27,400
like where it feels like my brain makes this wall of doubt.
368
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,680
And then instead of breaking through that,
369
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,120
I'm just transported onto the other side.
370
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,000
And I'm like, oh, wow, I do, like,
371
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,800
I finally connect with it doesn't matter.
372
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,400
You know, I'm not gonna do this.
373
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,400
I'm not gonna do this.
374
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:52,400
You know, yeah, it's such a good thing.
375
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,600
It's that end of the moment though,
376
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,000
like when you're about to distract
377
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,120
and scroll on your phone for an hour,
378
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,160
like what can you do in that moment?
379
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,200
Like what can you tell yourself or what can I tell myself?
380
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,200
When I'm in that moment of freeze or overwhelm
381
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:15,200
or ADHD paralysis, that helps transport me to consciousness
382
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,200
or remind me of a different way.
383
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,000
For me, it became this thing
384
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,880
because like yesterday I had,
385
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,800
yeah, because that was, let's say Friday, Thursday.
386
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,800
So yeah, that was Wednesday that happened.
387
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,800
When I got home from PT too, I did more work
388
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,600
than I normally do after that whole little experience.
389
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,600
And then also yesterday I was so productive,
390
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:46,600
but in not in a stressed way, in a very relaxed, open way.
391
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,600
And for me, it was just that question of,
392
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,600
am I living my intention or am I living my thoughts?
393
00:19:55,600 --> 00:20:00,600
And like I said, I mean, I know I'm gonna have those downs,
394
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:07,000
but it was such a powerful meaning for me
395
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:12,000
that I didn't have any yasheng.
396
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,600
And the last, well, two nights ago,
397
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,800
I started having a lot of trouble sleeping, you know?
398
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,600
And it was like my brain just wouldn't shut off.
399
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,600
So I think Tuesday night, I finally fell asleep
400
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,600
at eight o'clock in the morning.
401
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,800
And then Wednesday night, I fell asleep
402
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,800
at four o'clock in the morning.
403
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,800
But I had so much energy, like I didn't have the fatigue,
404
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,200
I didn't feel like my eyes were closed
405
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,200
and they're like, you said like, you're up for an hour
406
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,400
and you're like, I need a nap.
407
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,600
I just had this push.
408
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,000
It didn't last the whole day,
409
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,600
because I started, after a while, I started getting tired,
410
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:56,600
but I just had this push to just work,
411
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:57,800
but it wasn't work.
412
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,800
I was just having freaking fun, man.
413
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,800
Yeah. I love your description of recognizing
414
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,400
where you're sitting.
415
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,800
Are you sitting in your thoughts and operating from that place?
416
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,800
Are you sitting in consciousness?
417
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,400
Sometimes I say Big Mindy or Little Mindy,
418
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,800
like what I'm talking about.
419
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,800
And I'm like, Little Mindy is struggling here.
420
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,800
Big Mindy knows this, but like I'm having,
421
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,800
you know, can I get support in reaching for that?
422
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,800
If I want to change a habit, I can.
423
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,800
Understand that and I have my own version of that.
424
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,800
It's interesting.
425
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,800
You know, I was just thinking about how many things could be
426
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,800
an illusion, like these things that control my life.
427
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,800
I don't have enough time. I'm too tired, right?
428
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,800
I'm getting older now. So I feel this way.
429
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:47,800
I have to, right?
430
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,800
And I was just thinking as you were talking about
431
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,800
the things that I was thinking about,
432
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,800
like I'm not really talking about this, right?
433
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,800
I'm not talking about this. I'm just thinking about this way.
434
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,800
I have to write. And I was just thinking as you were talking of all
435
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,800
these, not illusions, but they're not real things.
436
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,800
Right. Maybe doesn't work the way I think it does.
437
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,800
Maybe being tired.
438
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,800
Doesn't work the way I think it does. Maybe write all these things
439
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,800
that.
440
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,800
Maybe there's even a bigger way of living in this reality.
441
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,800
And I'm just thinking about, you know,
442
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,800
I'm not really talking about this.
443
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,800
I'm just thinking about, you know,
444
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,800
I'm not really talking about this.
445
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,800
Yeah. Yeah. I believe it completely is.
446
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,800
Like, cause I mean, one of the,
447
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,800
one of the beliefs that I have now is that absolutely everything is
448
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,800
an illusion.
449
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,800
You know, I'm an optimistic nihilist, you know,
450
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,800
like nothing matters. And that is what gives us freedom.
451
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:46,800
Yeah.
452
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,800
Now look, you get, you gotta, you gotta work.
453
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,800
You gotta pay your bills. You know,
454
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,800
I personally not one of these dudes that can like,
455
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,800
I'm going off the grid. Like if I moved to Alaska,
456
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,800
I'm lasting a month, man. Like,
457
00:22:58,800 --> 00:22:59,800
and I'm not even talking about getting killed,
458
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,800
but I'll probably get killed by a trout, like trying to fish, dude.
459
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,800
Like it's just not going to work.
460
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,800
But there is a way to live free.
461
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,800
I don't know it yet.
462
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,800
And I think it's going to be different for absolutely everybody.
463
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,800
And everybody is going to have to find their meaning.
464
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,800
You know, that allows them to like transport onto the opposite
465
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,800
side of that struggle.
466
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:24,800
Yes.
467
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:30,800
But the more I, the more I put my focus on the struggle,
468
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:35,800
even, even with the idea of trying to figure out why,
469
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,800
why I'm struggling, you know, like if you go to,
470
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,800
if you get sick, whatever you go to the doctor, like,
471
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,800
you know, that show house, you know, like they would have like,
472
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,800
it's horrible sicknesses and they would take them like days and
473
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,800
days to figure out what it is.
474
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,800
And we try to do the same thing with our minds, you know,
475
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:53,800
brains tell us some bullshit.
476
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,800
And then we're like, I got to figure out why this is happening.
477
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,800
But what if we didn't have to.
478
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,800
Right. Right.
479
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,800
You know what it, Lord, if that just be it, it is what it is.
480
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,800
Like I am, yes, I am strong with this,
481
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,800
but then just focus on intention.
482
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:13,800
You know, cause to me, like intention is the action of consciousness.
483
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,800
Yeah.
484
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,800
Yeah. Yeah. It's funny because.
485
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,800
What you made me think of is the brain is kind of like, you know,
486
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,800
a two year old, right? It says whatever it says,
487
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,800
whenever it wants to say it.
488
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,800
And you reminded me of this comedy bit by Louis CK,
489
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,800
where he talks about how you can't possibly listen to everything your
490
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,800
kid says, because you're like bending down all the time. Oh, what?
491
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,800
Oh, yes. The dog is brown. Okay. Like.
492
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,800
Yeah.
493
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,800
Just constantly making judgments and assessments and thoughts and
494
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,800
stories.
495
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,800
And what if you listen to your two year old or your five year old,
496
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,800
like, you know how kids are.
497
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,800
You're, you would go crazy because you can't listen to that much
498
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,800
talking about nonsense.
499
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,800
Yeah.
500
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,800
With our own brains, right?
501
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:08,800
Is we let this sort of wild two year old be the boss.
502
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,800
Yeah.
503
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,800
Yeah.
504
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,800
So it's so funny, dude. The way, the way you put that, because it.
505
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:19,800
So yesterday, I've been starting a new experiment with myself.
506
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,800
So I saw this video by Alan Watts and he was talking about one of the
507
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,800
easiest ways to get into a meditative state is to,
508
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,800
is to just close your eyes and listen.
509
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,800
And just allow all the sounds to come in.
510
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,800
Don't name it.
511
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,800
Don't focus on any one sound.
512
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,800
And so I was sitting down and I was doing it.
513
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,800
And every sound that came, my, my,
514
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,800
my focus would shoot to that sound.
515
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,800
And then thoughts would just start coming.
516
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,800
You know, you hear it creak, you know, I was, I was sitting on my
517
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,800
back porch. I hear a creep behind me and I'm like, Oh, is that
518
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,800
Zoe? You know, I'm just going to go outside. Like, whatever, you
519
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,800
know, and it's just a domino effect.
520
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,800
But the longer I did it, the more I was able to like see that.
521
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,800
It's natural for my focus to go directly to it.
522
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,800
But then I can pull it back.
523
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,800
And I don't pull it back by, you know, so, so that I'm taking in
524
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,800
more of this umbrella listening where I'm taking in everything
525
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,800
and not connecting with one thing.
526
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:24,800
And by, by, like, by doing that, that's sort of like that thing.
527
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,800
I'm not focusing on, I don't want these thoughts about this
528
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:35,800
sound. I'm focusing on back to relaxing into all of the sound.
529
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,800
And I'm not, you know, I don't know if that makes any sense
530
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,800
whatsoever, but I think you're describing two things really well.
531
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,800
One, the focus where you put your focus that you describe that
532
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:49,800
really well. And also what it feels like to sort of sit back
533
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,800
and be the watcher, which is what I hope to be able to live from
534
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,800
90% of my day. Right.
535
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,800
Yeah.
536
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:04,800
I had this situation the other day with my, with my stepmom.
537
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,800
I was sharing a deep feeling. She responded to me with a lot of
538
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,800
advice. What I was hoping for was for her to share something about
539
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,800
her life and for us to connect. Right.
540
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,800
That's really what I wanted.
541
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:21,800
But in the moment, I felt so like startled, annoyed,
542
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:26,800
trapped, all my human stuff happening that I totally wasn't
543
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,800
seated in consciousness.
544
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,800
But if I would have been, I would have been able to say, thank you
545
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,800
so much for your, this advice, but like, I really want to connect
546
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,800
with you. Like, can you share with me something that I would have
547
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:45,800
been able to get what I wanted, but I got hijacked by my reactions.
548
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:51,800
And I feel like that is a big question in my life is what the
549
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:56,800
F do I need to do meditation, exercise, eating, whatever, to
550
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:01,800
be in that state and not be hijacked anymore?
551
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,800
Yeah, that's why I mean so many like amazing people always talk
552
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,800
about like expectations are the biggest assholes, you know, that
553
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,800
we create is being in that space is like, what's happening now?
554
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:16,800
Oh, what's happening now? Right? You're not that's being present
555
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,800
in the moment and being the watcher, which means no
556
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,800
expectations. Right. Yes. It's, it's, it's like the difference
557
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:28,800
between just being experiencing and, and controlling because
558
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,800
that's really what an expectation is. It's a way to control like
559
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,800
I'm going to do this. And because I do this, this is going to
560
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:40,800
happen. Right. And it doesn't necessarily mean that that's going
561
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,800
to happen. Right. You know, because even like in your example,
562
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,800
like what your stepmom and stuff too, like she, she could have
563
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,800
been, she could have walked away and was like, I am so glad that
564
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,800
I was able to connect with Mandy because I was able to help her
565
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,800
out and give her some advice. Yes. Though it could have to her
566
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,800
or it could have been a major connection. Yep. You know, so
567
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:05,800
that, that's, oh man, that screws me up so bad so many times.
568
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:12,800
Yeah, it's interesting, right? How I guess the products of
569
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:17,800
the mind, expectations, right? Hope, right? Are all also
570
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:22,800
having to be managed in that being the observer of it.
571
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,800
Yeah. It's the thoughts and the feelings, especially the feelings
572
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,800
are the ones that I get hijacked by, right? Being annoyed.
573
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:37,800
That will friggin hijack me in a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Oh dude, so cool.
574
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,800
And I hope Sandy doesn't get mad at me for sharing this because
575
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:48,800
it's like not bad in any way. But she has a very easy startle
576
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,800
process. You know, like the other day, we were getting ready.
577
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,800
We were just going to watch some TV before bed and stuff. And I
578
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,800
was laying on the floor with the dog and I wasn't being quiet.
579
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:05,800
You know, like, I mean, I was making noise and she came out of
580
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,800
the bedroom and jumped. I was like, oh my God, you know, because
581
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,800
she was thinking about something so she didn't hear any noise
582
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,800
that I was making, you know, and then she gets startled so easy.
583
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,800
And one of the things that always startles her is if Zoe wants to
584
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,800
say hi to somebody walking by her house, she starts barking.
585
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:28,800
And when Sandy's like focused on something, it scares the crap out
586
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,800
of her. And that initial thing like snaps, you know, like, you
587
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:38,800
know, shush or whatever, quiet. And for the longest time, she's
588
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,800
been like trying like, I don't want to do that. You know, I don't
589
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,800
want to respond with that automatic frustration. But how do you
590
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,800
practice something when you're not in the state where you need to
591
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:49,800
practice it?
592
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:50,800
Yeah.
593
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,800
And your system, right, is also reacting. So you have a physical
594
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,800
component, a mental component.
595
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,800
Yeah. And it's creating a physical component as well with like all
596
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:05,800
this crap that's now pouring into your system, you know, so Zoe
597
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:10,800
barks. So it's that shocking bark and it's also like when, when
598
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,800
you know she sees somebody come in or like another dog in the
599
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,800
neighborhood that like she loves or whatever. And so she'll bark.
600
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,800
And if we don't like be telling her like, all right, quiet or
601
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,800
call her to us, you know, distract her in some way, like, she'll
602
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,800
just keep going, you know, it'll go on for like two minutes. And
603
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:33,800
so I was telling Sandy, I was like, that puts you in the place of
604
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:38,800
frustration. So that's your practice point. Because you don't
605
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,800
react to it with the startle response, which you can't control.
606
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,800
I mean, that that's happening before you're thinking, but you
607
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,800
can control the annoyance.
608
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,800
Once you're aware of it.
609
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,800
Yeah. And she was, I watched her and I was like, I am so freaking
610
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,800
proud of you. I love this. Because she was like, Zoe was barking
611
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,800
and barking and she was, and you can tell the tension that she was
612
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,800
on her, but she would not allow herself to respond.
613
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:05,800
Mm hmm.
614
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,800
You know, and she's been doing it for like three days. I'm like,
615
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:13,800
this is freaking amazing. Because that's where she's going to
616
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:18,800
repro reprogram that unconscious fight or flight response, where
617
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,800
eventually the goal is like, Zoe's going to bark and there's not
618
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,800
or there, it still may startle her, but she won't react from a
619
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,800
place of frustration with it.
620
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,800
And that is such a beautiful description of the work. Right.
621
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,800
Like what people don't understand about personal growth and
622
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,800
development or when people say you got to do the work, that's the
623
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,800
work. Right. In the moment, changing your thought, changing
624
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,800
your feeling a hundred times, a thousand times, whatever it
625
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:53,800
takes to change your mind, your mindset, right. You have the
626
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,800
ability to do that.
627
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,800
And maybe, maybe that's the problem. Maybe like what I'm looking
628
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,800
for is like a fairy godmother to come down and just bippity boppity
629
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,800
boop me on the head and then it's over. Yeah. But maybe what my
630
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,800
goal should be is not to figure out the why time affects me like
631
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,800
this. But you know, like we were talking about like focusing
632
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,800
like that intention, like.
633
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:22,800
What are the actual reps I need to take every day? Yeah. But when
634
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,800
I feel that overwhelm, when I feel that like everything is the
635
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,800
priority, be like amazing dude, because now it's a time to
636
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,800
practice. Yes. You know, and to sit down and to slow myself
637
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,800
down and to relax myself, focus on, I'm doing like a little
638
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,800
five minute listening exercise, whatever, and then getting to
639
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,800
work. Yeah. That feels really good to me when I imagine myself
640
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,800
doing that. Like when I catch myself in that speeding down the
641
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,800
road, I don't have enough time, right. Anxed to go.
642
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,800
Okay.
643
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:02,800
Right. Start back at square one in consciousness and come back
644
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:07,800
at it again. Yeah, that feels really good to me. Yeah, I had
645
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,800
an interesting thought when you're talking about the Sandy's
646
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,800
hyper focus.
647
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:18,800
I can get super hyper focused, right? Of course, ADHD, autism.
648
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,800
And I asked myself the question, what if you hyper focused on
649
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,800
consciousness and just, that's what I want to do. How can I feel
650
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:29,800
more that way? How can I feel more that way? And the answer in
651
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:34,800
my brain was your life would fall apart. Like this huge fear
652
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:39,800
came up. And I didn't realize that that was there for me, that
653
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,800
in addition to believing that I don't have enough time, what
654
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:47,800
stops me is this belief that if I followed my consciousness and
655
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:52,800
slowed down in the moment and are meditated, right, if I took
656
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,800
things slow, that my life would fall apart. But I have to stay
657
00:34:56,800 --> 00:35:01,800
in this sort of busy frenzy feeling. Do you relate to that
658
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:07,800
at all? Is there any version of that in your body?
659
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:13,800
Yeah, there's, there's, I do this all the time with like, you
660
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:19,800
know, the idea of manifesting, you know, and so I'm like, I
661
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,800
want, you know, I want, I'm going to set an attention like this
662
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,800
is going to happen, you know, I'm going to put my awareness on
663
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,800
and feel the gratitude for it and then forget about it. But
664
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:33,800
deep, deep, deep, deep down, there's still that fear and
665
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:38,800
that fear has become my comfortable place. So even
666
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,800
though it sucks, it's become a habit. So the chemicals that
667
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,800
produce that you literally become physically addicted to those
668
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,800
chemicals. So living in a state of constant fear, like
669
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,800
stepping out of that. I mean, that's stepping through like a
670
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,800
shroud, man, you know what I mean? Like, I can't even picture
671
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:02,800
what that's like. Yeah. And as you, as you were talking, though,
672
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,800
I was like, you made me like, just think of this thing is I
673
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,800
wonder if the problem is the idea of chasing that
674
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:16,800
consciousness, right? So we there's that whole idea of we are
675
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,800
not that which we observe. So since we observe our thoughts,
676
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:25,800
we're not our thoughts, but it goes in reverse as well. So
677
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:32,800
which means we are period. We're trying to almost like trying
678
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:37,800
to observe consciousness instead of being conscious. Yeah, yeah.
679
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:42,800
Yeah, that's interesting.
680
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:47,800
Because it's going to pop.
681
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:53,800
Right. Yeah. I heard a funny joke once, which was like, everybody
682
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,800
can be enlightened at a moment. So you could be enlightened
683
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,800
right now. But your brain doesn't want to accept that. So you
684
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:05,800
aren't. But if you get a book that says here's the 10 steps to
685
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,800
being enlightened, then the brain is like, Oh, yeah, I can do
686
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:13,800
that. Because the brain likes steps, it likes processes, right?
687
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:19,800
But in the land of, you know, eternal now, you can have it in
688
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,800
a moment's notice. There is no time.
689
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,800
Yeah. And that's why people talk about like sliding into it,
690
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,800
sliding out, sliding into it, sliding out, you know, and I
691
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,800
don't know, maybe, maybe that's, that's the natural state of
692
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:36,800
things, you know, it's another wave function.
693
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:41,800
Instead of being there and staying there. But yeah, I think
694
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:48,800
for me too, what I might try is adding more love into my
695
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,800
relationship with time. So when I have time related thoughts,
696
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,800
be like, I'm so grateful that I have so much time, right?
697
00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:00,800
Like, I've been giving so much time, I've been giving so much
698
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,800
help and try to bring some gratitude and love into that to
699
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:10,800
do my reprogramming. And then also love for that big fear that
700
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,800
we talked about, that says everything's going to fall apart
701
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,800
and I'm going to end up homeless and alone on the street,
702
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,800
right, whatever that core fear is. And just being like, okay,
703
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,800
come along fear, like, I love you, it's okay, like, we can go
704
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:27,800
together and not waiting till it's gone. Just like you said,
705
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,800
focusing on where I want to go anywhere. And if this little
706
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:33,800
bugger's got to come with me, that's fine. Just love him,
707
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,800
right? And just more acceptance for that instead of being like,
708
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,800
go away. When you're gone, I'll be able to do this, right? It's
709
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,800
I think, lessening the resistance in those two areas of my life
710
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:49,800
might open up a door that I don't know or understand yet.
711
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:53,800
Yeah. Yeah, because really what it is, it's just, it's our
712
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:59,800
brains trying to protect ourselves. So it's us trying to love
713
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:05,800
ourselves, keep ourselves safe and, you know, and keep homeostasis
714
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:11,800
and, you know, not end up on the street. Yeah, it's, it is a good
715
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,800
thing, you know, it's unfortunately though, like, for me,
716
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,800
it's always the question like, is this going to be a success? And
717
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,800
right? And I never defined what that means. You know, what is,
718
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:28,800
does it mean like, I'm a multi billionaire traveling all over
719
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,800
and, you know, taking pictures on a private jet, you know, the
720
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:36,800
selfies, you know, all that stuff, or does it mean like, I can, I
721
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:41,800
can travel and go anywhere I want, you know, and still work,
722
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,800
you know, like, what the hell does even success mean? Like to
723
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,800
me, not, not to what society tells it is, but to me.
724
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,800
Yeah, it's interesting because you made me ask the question,
725
00:39:56,800 --> 00:40:02,800
what's the difference between what I view as success and my
726
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:07,800
dreams, right? Because my dreams can be huge, right? I love
727
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:12,800
dreaming big dreams. My sister and I were just daydreaming about
728
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,800
making enough money so we can both have housekeepers and pay
729
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,800
for a housekeeper for my dad might seem like a little dream,
730
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:23,800
but that is a beautiful big dream for us, right? But if we don't
731
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:28,800
get to that point, I still find myself successful, like recognizing
732
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:34,800
that success and my dreams are different. Yeah, I don't know, I
733
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,800
guess I really realized that before.
734
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,800
That's a really good point. Man, that's like grabbing the
735
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,800
attention of my brain just like,
736
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:46,800
because you don't want to not have dreams like dreams are fun,
737
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:51,800
right, to go after dreams. But that doesn't mean it doesn't
738
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:56,800
mean you're unsuccessful if you don't get there. I think keeping
739
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:00,800
the bar for success low and the bar for your dreams high, that's
740
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,800
the trick. Yes.
741
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:07,800
Yeah, I love that. I mean, our dreams are limited by our
742
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,800
imagination and our imagination is infinite. Like I mean,
743
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,800
everything that is possible, we can imagine. I even heard this
744
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:19,800
little thing like try to imagine a color that doesn't exist.
745
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,800
Your brain is just like, are you like it grinds to all. It's like,
746
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:27,800
what the hell? Like how do you do that? You know,
747
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:33,800
so our dreams should be as massive as the universe is, you
748
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,800
know, but success.
749
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:43,800
Like what exactly is that? And then the question that's been
750
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:49,800
like, sitting on my chest is what expectations do I apply to
751
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,800
that?
752
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:57,800
Success because right at that point, I stop living
753
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,800
consciously and I start living by trying to control.
754
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:06,800
You know, and doing stuff like this is about, I mean,
755
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,800
even all the lessons I've learned on the mushroom so far,
756
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,800
like the one major thing is, is flow, you know,
757
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:17,800
flexibility and control is rigid.
758
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:21,800
That's some stuff I got to get into when I'm packing.
759
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:26,800
Yeah, I think what you said about rigid and flexible really
760
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,800
speaks to this topic too of like trying to get, you know,
761
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:34,800
we have these huge dream fire hoses, right? But then how do
762
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,800
you fit them into a world that is built in boxes, right? Like
763
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,800
the world is very small.
764
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:47,800
You have to put this up on this platform and you have to do,
765
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,800
right? So somehow all this magic wildness has to be put into
766
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,800
sort of a rigid structure.
767
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,800
And it's the relationship between those two that I don't
768
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,800
understand.
769
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,800
Because there's a place for rigidness, right? Like that's why
770
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:05,800
the world works.
771
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:10,800
That's why people make money.
772
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:15,800
Yeah. And, and.
773
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:18,800
I think one of the things that,
774
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,800
especially with like societal standards is we look at flexibility
775
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,800
as being weak, you know, like if you go and you get a,
776
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,800
a twig off the ground that's very flexible,
777
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,800
you know that you're not going to be holding up something that
778
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,800
heavy with that thing, but then you can go and you can get a
779
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,800
treeland which won't move and, and the thing will hold weight,
780
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:40,800
you know.
781
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,800
So we have rigidity, rigidity is strength and flexibility is,
782
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:53,800
as weak, but.
783
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,800
If you look at me, just like the ropes that they used to use on
784
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,800
the old like ships and stuff made from hemp and,
785
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:03,800
and you know, like each rope is then bound like three different
786
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,800
ropes. I mean, it was, it's so incredibly flexible.
787
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,800
There was still some rigidity in it because of,
788
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,800
because of the size of it, but it was incredibly flexible and
789
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:13,800
can move and sway.
790
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,800
And that also helped the strength of it.
791
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,800
And it was incredibly strong, like pulling anchors up and all
792
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,800
kinds of stuff, you know, like raising sales at the wind and
793
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:24,800
holding sales.
794
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,800
So when it's just tearing into.
795
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:29,800
So I think,
796
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:35,800
I think there is, is, is a great strength in flexibility.
797
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,800
And yet within that flexibility, it's the structure.
798
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:39,800
I mean, so.
799
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,800
It's like our DNA.
800
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:45,800
You know, our DNA is, is what creates it was within us.
801
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:51,800
You know, and then we have the flexibility to live within this
802
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,800
this body that the DNA created.
803
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:58,640
Yeah.
804
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:05,440
Yeah, I feel, so I really am a visual person
805
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:06,600
to understand things.
806
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,020
I have to see them in pictures.
807
00:45:09,020 --> 00:45:11,800
I don't know why my brain works that way.
808
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,960
But when you were talking, I was thinking,
809
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:19,960
I wanna imagine myself as like a kaleidoscope.
810
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,680
Like here's all the magic coming in to me, right?
811
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,520
And then like I'm a kaleidoscope
812
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:26,760
when I put the pretty picture, right?
813
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,920
On the wall or on your eyeball, right?
814
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,320
Like that somehow I've become an alchemist
815
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,240
between the magic of the world and,
816
00:45:34,240 --> 00:45:37,080
or the magic of the universe and the like rigidness
817
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:39,440
of society and the world I have to live in.
818
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,960
And like I'm a translator, right?
819
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,960
That's kind of what I wanna learn how to do.
820
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:49,880
That picture makes me feel better about that project.
821
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,200
And like the kind of process.
822
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:55,400
Yeah.
823
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,680
Like I wanna be a translator for the universe.
824
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,240
So I have to pick a problem.
825
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,440
Yeah, like doesn't that make a little differently about it?
826
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,600
Instead of saying, like, I need better executive function
827
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,160
or I need this and that, like,
828
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:14,800
I hate it.
829
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,420
This is hard because I'm translating,
830
00:46:17,420 --> 00:46:19,360
the universe is giving me all these ideas
831
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:23,160
and I have to translate them and fit them into this world.
832
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:24,360
This very human.
833
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,320
Of course that's gonna be hard.
834
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:29,960
Like no wonder I'm struggling with that.
835
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,240
That's not an easy task.
836
00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:33,600
No.
837
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,440
No, yeah.
838
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,240
It's a capacity for me to tell
839
00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:38,280
when I think about it like that.
840
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:39,560
Yeah, yeah.
841
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,760
And I hate the clinical definitions of stuff.
842
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,560
I know we need them, but I can't stand that.
843
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,400
Like it just, cause it,
844
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,200
cause that's over here in the very square world
845
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:51,920
that labels everything, right?
846
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:52,760
Right.
847
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,200
Even like, so, all right, self-care is a very,
848
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:56,040
very important thing.
849
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,640
And this is like my own little like thing,
850
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:03,200
but hearing it is like nails on a chalkboard, you know?
851
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,920
And I was thinking about it last night.
852
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:10,920
And so we used to have time to relax.
853
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,200
You know, Hunter gathers, like I said,
854
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,520
there's like a million times on average work
855
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,320
about four hours a day and then it's relaxation,
856
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,400
socialization, maintenance, all that sort of stuff walking.
857
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,920
And we used to live like that.
858
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,520
Even like the old movies you see, like, I mean,
859
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,400
Cowboys out in the range, like, you know,
860
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,960
overlooking the sunset, having time to just sit
861
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,440
and just be, you know?
862
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,920
And then we got into industrialized
863
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:40,440
and then we got into this hustle culture,
864
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,760
like where if you're not producing something,
865
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,960
like at work and then have your side hustle
866
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,320
and like 18 of them and stuff, like you're wrong, you know?
867
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,080
And then it was like all, the rock wakes up at 4 a.m.
868
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:52,400
So I'm gonna wake up at 4 a.m.
869
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:53,760
And I'm gonna go to bed at 12
870
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,160
and I'm gonna get four hours of sleep
871
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,840
and like all this stuff.
872
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:02,840
And so we took something that was natural, we destroyed it.
873
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,400
And now we've come up with a new name for it.
874
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:07,760
Say, hey, this is what we gotta do.
875
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:12,760
Like, but anyway, this is my own like pet peeve.
876
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:14,840
I know it doesn't really matter, but like,
877
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,840
I think that you have a very good point.
878
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,640
And I would say to further that point
879
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:25,640
that there is a whole cultural push to be like,
880
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:28,120
oh, well, you don't feel good.
881
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,320
You must not be taking care of yourself.
882
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,560
Like go to yoga, have a bubble bath, do this.
883
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,000
It's not, hey, these corporations
884
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,040
are making too much profit on you
885
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:38,680
and you shouldn't be working that much
886
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,720
to where it's your natural right to take a bubble bath.
887
00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:43,080
Right, like you're saying,
888
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:46,920
it is our natural right to have time to rest.
889
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,880
But it's been turned around by capitalism
890
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,680
and sold back to us as self-care.
891
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:55,960
And that's fucking disgusting.
892
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:58,560
That's fucking awesome dude.
893
00:48:58,560 --> 00:48:59,400
Yes.
894
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,520
And now you make money off of it self-care.
895
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:07,120
And it's a bunch of bullshit.
896
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:12,120
I never, I never thought I'd like like that.
897
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:15,440
That is cheese.
898
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,560
That's messed up.
899
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,840
That's the kind of thing that keeps happening to me
900
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:23,280
is I'll get like a little,
901
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:25,680
I call them a peak behind the curtain.
902
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:26,520
Right.
903
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,440
Like, oh shit, this is what's happening.
904
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:34,160
Like in this society that I didn't see before
905
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:36,040
and then you keep seeing more of those.
906
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,960
And that's why I always wonder,
907
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,440
like, am I gonna end up like a weirdo living in a trailer?
908
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:43,440
Like somewhere like, oh shit.
909
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:45,800
Yeah.
910
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:49,720
Just, I am surprised how much the world
911
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,880
is not the place that I think it is.
912
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:54,920
That's freaking beautiful.
913
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:55,760
Yes.
914
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,520
Yeah.
915
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:01,960
And that's what this journey has been.
916
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,640
You know, for me, I started this
917
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:08,480
because I couldn't find answers for the PTSD.
918
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,440
And that's what it's turned into.
919
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,480
Seeing that everything that I thought
920
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,760
was real and true and how things should be done
921
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:23,600
has all been just a packaged product that I bought.
922
00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:27,200
And it's-
923
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:28,040
Yes.
924
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,520
So it's nothing for me anymore.
925
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:31,560
Yes.
926
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:32,640
Yes.
927
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,000
I absolutely agree, it now just is the question,
928
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,040
how do I escape this?
929
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:38,400
I have all these tendrils
930
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:39,960
and that's what we're talking about today.
931
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,000
These beliefs that have been put on us
932
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,400
that we gotta do more and stay busy in its time.
933
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,160
And that's not what we wanna live in.
934
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:53,080
That's not the paradigm that we live in anymore.
935
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,040
But you still have to extract yourself
936
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:56,840
and that process is difficult.
937
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,680
Yeah.
938
00:50:58,680 --> 00:50:59,520
Yeah.
939
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:01,840
You know what I keep thinking of is,
940
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:03,520
keep going back to trees.
941
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,280
I'm big on trees today,
942
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:09,960
but you know, we have this,
943
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,000
I just love this tree in my backyard.
944
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,760
Like right after noon, it casts so much shade
945
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,000
and means I'll just go out there, sit on the grass,
946
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:21,160
I'll smoke and she'll just lay down and like roll over.
947
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:22,000
Yeah.
948
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,320
It's just so cool.
949
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:25,320
And I'm just so happy.
950
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:29,800
And if I like ran into that thing,
951
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,720
like I would hurt myself really bad, you know?
952
00:51:32,720 --> 00:51:35,000
But if I uncovered its roots,
953
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:40,000
like I've never seen a root system that was like so rigid.
954
00:51:41,240 --> 00:51:45,360
Like even the bigger thicker branches, the roots,
955
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:48,040
have like, if I'm like removing a stump or something
956
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:49,800
like it has a bounce to it.
957
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:54,800
And that's where the tree is fed from.
958
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,080
That's where it connects with the mycelium,
959
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,680
which it connects it with all of nature.
960
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:01,640
Yeah.
961
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,040
You know, so, and but the roots are dirty.
962
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:07,560
They're not the prettiest part of the tree, you know,
963
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:09,600
or the shrub or whatever.
964
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,600
Like we got our neighbors just planted some rows of sharing
965
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,600
right on the proper line, just fricking beautiful.
966
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,040
You know, like when it blooms and stuff,
967
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:19,400
like you look at the beauty of it, but it's the roots.
968
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,320
And I think that's where, like you said,
969
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,080
that's where the work is done.
970
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:28,960
It's in the smallest underground dirty place
971
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:31,080
that people are not going to see,
972
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:35,160
but the results of that work is going to be
973
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,480
the flowering of the tree.
974
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:39,920
And that's going to be the political part.
975
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:41,440
Yep.
976
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:42,600
Absolutely.
977
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,640
And so many people are out here trying
978
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,800
to construct the flowers, right?
979
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,240
And you're like, no, go back this way.
980
00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:52,120
It doesn't work the way you think it does.
981
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:55,360
It's these tiny changes down here in the dark
982
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,960
that change the color and amount of your flowers.
983
00:52:58,960 --> 00:52:59,800
Yeah.
984
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:05,240
And I think that's going to be what gets us past this,
985
00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:10,240
that block is even changing our relationship with that block.
986
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:14,280
You know, when we run into it, once that awareness clicks,
987
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:17,680
we're like, oh, cool, I get to practice this again.
988
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:18,760
Mm-hmm.
989
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,760
Yeah.
990
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,440
And ritual is so freaking important.
991
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,480
You can even create like a little five minute ritual.
992
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,360
So the awareness hits, turn it right into action.
993
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:29,200
Yeah.
994
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:31,520
Do that listening exercise, take a couple of puffs,
995
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:32,640
whatever it is.
996
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,960
While you're meditating and stuff or whatever,
997
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:39,080
and then just move right into that work.
998
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:40,680
Yeah.
999
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:43,280
I remember one time when I was in therapy,
1000
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,600
when I was young, I had a lot of anxiety,
1001
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:50,560
and she told me, choose something like touch your ear lobe
1002
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:55,000
or like pinch your thumb and think of the best thoughts
1003
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,120
you can every time you do that.
1004
00:53:57,120 --> 00:54:01,120
And you will literally program your body to feel that way,
1005
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,800
so that then when you're in a stressful situation,
1006
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:07,960
you can do that motion and your body will produce those
1007
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,520
chemicals and think of those thoughts.
1008
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,480
And I just remember thinking that was so cool, right?
1009
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:15,120
But that's kind of what I hear you saying,
1010
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:18,280
like get really intentional about programming.
1011
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,480
Oh, when I change this thought, I like this candle
1012
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:25,280
or I do this thing or I, with the ritual of it,
1013
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:29,480
to help sink it in and change your mindset faster.
1014
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,600
And I think that's brilliant.
1015
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,320
Cause I think that does change your mindset faster.
1016
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,440
It's just more intention.
1017
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:37,280
Yeah.
1018
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,480
And it puts action to the awareness.
1019
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:40,320
Mm-hmm.
1020
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:42,040
I mean, cause we can have awareness all day.
1021
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,320
I mean, we can have dreams all day.
1022
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:45,760
And that can be really cool,
1023
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:47,880
but we can also get trapped in that.
1024
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:49,640
And that cycle of constant dreaming
1025
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:53,600
of constantly becoming aware, but never moving forward.
1026
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:54,600
Yeah.
1027
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:57,360
Yeah, you know what I might do for fun is,
1028
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,360
you know, I always have notebooks with me.
1029
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,560
So every time I think a thought like,
1030
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:04,640
I don't have time or I feel that pressure,
1031
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,600
I might just write down like, I have plenty of time.
1032
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,640
Like I'm escaping the matrix.
1033
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,920
Like whatever it is that comes to my mind,
1034
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:15,480
it's the opposite of that because writing
1035
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:17,040
is really powerful for me.
1036
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:21,440
And that might be a good way to help change my brain.
1037
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:23,080
Cause I love what you had said before too,
1038
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:26,280
about how you would have like these magical thoughts.
1039
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,440
Like I'm eternal, I'm outside of time.
1040
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,320
Like, I mean, dude, you can end up over time,
1041
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:33,520
like writing a whole book,
1042
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:34,800
every time those thoughts come in
1043
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:36,760
and going into that magical place,
1044
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,240
because that is the one thing I'm seeing
1045
00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:43,280
is the world is so much more fucking magical
1046
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,040
than we give a crap for.
1047
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,880
Dude, I just saw a video about how a bee sees us.
1048
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,920
And I don't know if it's actually true or not.
1049
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:51,520
Like I really do.
1050
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:53,000
Cause I don't just trust everything I see,
1051
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,520
like that comes up on a reel or something.
1052
00:55:55,520 --> 00:56:00,520
But it, it, it was, it was like a bunch of little particles
1053
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:06,680
of light in the shape of a person, but like separated.
1054
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,160
So you can see a little like black darkness in it.
1055
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:11,520
And like when it moved, it was like,
1056
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,120
the light would trail after it.
1057
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:15,880
And I'm like, is that really how a bee, like,
1058
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,520
we would call that an angel, you know,
1059
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:20,600
like a being of light.
1060
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,280
And that's how a bee sees us.
1061
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,680
I love that.
1062
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:27,960
Dude, there's so much more magic than,
1063
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:29,880
time to go to the grocery store.
1064
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:32,200
I gotta go to CVS, get my prescriptions, you know,
1065
00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:37,200
gotta do this, like the everyday mundane things of life
1066
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:41,680
that we've been, that we've just relaxed into.
1067
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:43,960
Yes.
1068
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:44,800
Yes.
1069
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:45,840
Absolutely.
1070
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:48,040
Yeah.
1071
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:53,040
It's funny to me how not only is that, you know,
1072
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:55,080
being in touch with that magic
1073
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:56,720
isn't really culturally accepted.
1074
00:56:56,720 --> 00:57:01,720
It's not taught how to do, but on top of that, it's mocked.
1075
00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:04,440
Sometimes when people are that way,
1076
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:07,200
like they're put down for a connection to that.
1077
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:12,120
And again, it's just that choice for me of like,
1078
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:16,920
I am not playing by the rules that other people made.
1079
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:20,160
I don't care if 90% of people feel this way.
1080
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:21,240
I don't.
1081
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:23,920
And giving myself permission to do that,
1082
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:27,360
that's hard work.
1083
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:30,840
Because there's a big part of me that still thinks like,
1084
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,800
just being normal, Mindy.
1085
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:35,680
I think my mom used to say that to me actually,
1086
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,680
like just being normal.
1087
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:44,440
I do just think about it.
1088
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,960
I don't want to be normal anymore, right?
1089
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:48,800
No.
1090
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:53,040
It's so overrated.
1091
00:57:53,040 --> 00:58:02,040
Like one of the first negative comments I got was, you're sitting in your garage
1092
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:03,680
in the dark smoking weed.
1093
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:04,840
That's not normal.
1094
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,800
It's very normal for me.
1095
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:12,600
I was out there until like 11 o'clock last night watching some shows or whatever,
1096
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:16,080
a movie and smoking and just feeling the breeze come in,
1097
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,440
the night breeze and everything.
1098
00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:20,520
And it was beautiful, you know?
1099
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:23,200
Like normal is overrated, you know?
1100
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:27,000
And I always go back to that thing, like the reason why the universe exists
1101
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,800
is because of the imperfections in it.
1102
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:36,080
You know, so there was a video I saw the other night when I couldn't sleep,
1103
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:39,000
which I know you're not supposed to start scrolling or anything, but
1104
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:43,600
it was talking about
1105
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:48,680
like the universe.
1106
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,680
So we're.
1107
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:55,240
We have we are we have like fingers and toes and feet and legs.
1108
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,440
We have all these different appendages in which we move through life.
1109
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:02,720
And we're basically the appendages of the consciousness, the universe.
1110
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:07,880
Most like the universe is is is the body consciousness is the brain.
1111
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:11,800
And we are the appendages on how it experiences life.
1112
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:16,920
So all the same normal.
1113
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:19,840
Then it would experience one facet of life.
1114
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:21,200
Yeah.
1115
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:25,720
But we're lucky enough to live in a time where it's becoming easier and easier
1116
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,920
to do a lot of different stuff.
1117
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,720
You know, like we started off like hunting, gathering,
1118
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:34,920
moved into agriculture, got into an industry.
1119
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:37,200
Then we kind of lived in that bubble of
1120
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:43,960
fakeness, you know, that was that was prescribed to us from from the powerful people.
1121
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:50,760
You know, but now with the internet and more freedoms and more ways to to to make money.
1122
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:52,720
I mean, we can do anything.
1123
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:55,240
We're we're making money.
1124
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:59,680
You have people that just travel the world and travel and put up videos and make money.
1125
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:03,080
You know, I mean, we have that freedom.
1126
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:08,280
We need to tap back into that magic and stop being so goddamn normal.
1127
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,400
Yes, I totally agree.
1128
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:17,120
And I think like you described now more than ever is a great time in history to do it.
1129
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:20,800
Like you're listening to this podcast and you've been thinking about, do I jump?
1130
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:21,680
Do I not jump?
1131
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:22,520
Do I jump?
1132
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:23,680
Ringing jump.
1133
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:29,240
Like it is a good time to try to create a life that works for you.
1134
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:31,680
Yeah.
1135
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:37,720
Because man, if I never I have jumped so many times in my life and if I hadn't,
1136
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:41,920
I'd still be working at the grocery store where I was just going up in management.
1137
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,640
Right. No, you've got to jump.
1138
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:47,120
You've got to be willing to risk it all.
1139
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:51,800
Yeah, it's.
1140
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:57,440
It's imperative and even the idea of like risking it all.
1141
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:03,440
It's like, you know, really doing an audit on what what you're actually risking.
1142
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:05,600
Yes. Yes.
1143
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:07,160
Yes.
1144
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:08,600
Yeah, because I would say like.
1145
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:10,880
Would have please said I absolutely agree.
1146
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:17,680
90% of it is bullshit about what other people are going to see or oh, I failed and that means I'm bad.
1147
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:18,680
Yes.
1148
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:24,400
Yeah, I think if you do an audit, write down everything.
1149
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:30,080
I would say over 50% for most people are going to be about what other people think.
1150
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:37,520
And then when you ask yourself, OK, do I want to live my life based on what I'm imagining other people are thinking?
1151
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:38,840
Because you don't even know it's true.
1152
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:43,080
If you answer yes to that question, that's crazy.
1153
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:45,560
Yeah.
1154
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:47,040
Yeah.
1155
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:54,160
Yeah. And then even like for me, like I just think about I start also putting expectations.
1156
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:58,800
This is what I want to happen in my future, which again is just all imagination.
1157
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:13,800
Instead of being allowing myself to flow through that river of consciousness, that river of life and see what comes trusting and believing that what's going to come is good because it's going to come from.
1158
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:15,800
My intention.
1159
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:20,800
You know, like the action of consciousness.
1160
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:28,800
And if I'm doing good and putting out all of those the vibrations and stuff like to me, that's where the manifestation is going to come into play.
1161
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:40,800
You know, but if I'm focused on the fear of what if there's this show called Dark Matter, and it is so cool.
1162
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:47,800
So this dude created a box and then you have to inject yourself with some some stuff.
1163
01:02:47,800 --> 01:03:00,800
And it puts you in a state of superposition so that how a particle can be an infinite number of states at the same time, you know, and so you can move into an infinite number of universes.
1164
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:06,800
And like see yourself in that universe.
1165
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:16,800
You know, and so the dude that the whole concept is like he he made a decision and now he now he's unhappy with it, even though he has everything he wants.
1166
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:18,800
He's filthy rich.
1167
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:24,800
He's an inventor like great scientist, but he wants this other life so he switches himself.
1168
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,800
But it's what it's all about intention.
1169
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:49,800
Like when I start focusing on that fear because every time he would move through a door into another world, even when he sets his intention, he explained like your experiences, your belief systems, your fears, they're all going to interact with your intention.
1170
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:53,800
And it's going to mess up what happens when we walk through that door.
1171
01:03:53,800 --> 01:04:05,800
So they'll walk through a door thinking this is right. This is right. Whatever it is, and they open it and and it's like a door where like civilization has been destroyed like nuclear war, whatever.
1172
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:15,800
You know, so it's and it's because that intention is so easily swayed by all of that stuff. So it's getting all of that stuff under control.
1173
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:32,800
Yes. By practicing all of this stuff like like you would say like that's one of the things I'm going to start doing is getting more magical like when I get that awareness of okay I'm distracting I'm back in this bad spot whatever I am going to get as magical as I possibly can.
1174
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:34,800
I like that.
1175
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:48,800
Yeah, when you say that that feels expansive and also stretching my comfort zone like expansive with a little tail end of fear for me.
1176
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:50,800
Yeah.
1177
01:04:50,800 --> 01:05:03,800
I'd be curious to practice that too and see what comes up there because there's definitely something there for me when I think about being as when I come up against that I'm going to be as magical as I can.
1178
01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:13,800
Yeah, there's some something that a block there for me that says that I'm not allowed or that's silly or I'm not sure what it is. So I think that a good practice for me to
1179
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:24,800
because big T truth is I want that right but there's also some baggage there like you said right that stuff that's going to interact with it I'm like I get to I need to get to know what that is.
1180
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:32,800
Yeah, I think the biggest key. I think the more that you focus on the side of the magic.
1181
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:51,800
Faster you'll start to see what that block is you know like the whole idea of like I can't see the forest through the trees like I'm in that fear. It's so hard to identify like right but if you lean towards like the light the light will illuminate it right you lean towards what you want and it will illuminate it.
1182
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:54,800
Yeah, I agree with that. That's really interesting.
1183
01:05:54,800 --> 01:06:05,800
Yeah, I love the way you are describing like personifying that experience. What is that show on by the way dark matter Apple TV.
1184
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:07,800
Apple
1185
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:27,800
YouTube is so interesting so it's pretty real. Because for me because I'm such a visual person actually imagining my thoughts as little people or like my inner two year old and my little inner teenager and almost like I'm playing a video game in my mind right like oh we got to go through the shield to the next level.
1186
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:33,800
nerdy, but that is so helpful to me to visualize what's happening
1187
01:06:34,300 --> 01:06:37,100
in my personal growth like video game.
1188
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:38,900
Yeah.
1189
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:45,100
Yeah, like you say, like, it's it's it's turned into like, you
1190
01:06:45,100 --> 01:06:48,600
know, you're mocked for like, oh, that's stupid, whatever,
1191
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:51,800
you're you're that's weird, you know, like, so there's a new
1192
01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:56,000
documentary on Apple TV about the blue angels. And I want to
1193
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:59,300
watch it because I do I didn't know they when they fly, they're
1194
01:06:59,300 --> 01:07:03,600
like 12 inches apart. Like what the hell like why? Why do that?
1195
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:06,300
You know, like even just because you can't like, isn't that
1196
01:07:06,300 --> 01:07:08,600
what our parents always said? Like just because you can doesn't
1197
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:12,400
mean you should like don't fly that close when you're going
1198
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:16,300
800 miles an hour, you know, 30,000 feet in the air. But
1199
01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:22,600
their last briefing before they before they fly, they visualize
1200
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:27,600
the entire flight. They hold fake controls there. All of these
1201
01:07:27,600 --> 01:07:31,600
dudes have their eyes closed, fake controls, and they're doing
1202
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:35,100
this and and the lead pilot is saying, okay, now we're going
1203
01:07:35,100 --> 01:07:38,100
to bank right and everybody does what they have to do when
1204
01:07:38,100 --> 01:07:38,600
they're playing.
1205
01:07:40,100 --> 01:07:43,100
So you have the blue angels that do visualization, you have
1206
01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:46,700
NFL quarterbacks that do visualization, you have the
1207
01:07:46,700 --> 01:07:49,700
toughest fighters in the world that do visualization. But when
1208
01:07:49,700 --> 01:07:56,000
it comes down to us, stupid. Yep. Why?
1209
01:07:58,300 --> 01:08:03,000
I think that's all part of that mechanism, right? To control
1210
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:08,800
us and keep us as robots working to feed the system. And
1211
01:08:10,700 --> 01:08:17,000
you know, if I sound crazy when I say that I do. But that is
1212
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:20,800
more and more. I believe
1213
01:08:22,700 --> 01:08:27,500
Yeah, I just out of it. Yeah. This before I even got out of
1214
01:08:27,500 --> 01:08:31,100
it. Yeah. Yeah.
1215
01:08:33,500 --> 01:08:36,100
Dude, just imagine like sitting at a coffee shop. I think
1216
01:08:37,700 --> 01:08:42,500
Oh, God. I'm sorry, like I was just like imagine like sitting
1217
01:08:42,500 --> 01:08:47,700
at a coffee shop and like two of me, you know, and one of me
1218
01:08:47,700 --> 01:08:51,500
is sitting over my cappuccino, whatever. And I'm thinking like
1219
01:08:51,900 --> 01:08:53,900
this sucks. I'm not getting anything done. I'm not going
1220
01:08:53,900 --> 01:08:56,800
to be successful. Right. And also all that's doing is just
1221
01:08:56,800 --> 01:09:00,900
draining me. You know, and then the other side is sitting and
1222
01:09:00,900 --> 01:09:05,200
I have this whole Lord of the Rings, you know, adventure going
1223
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:09,900
on in my head, you know, but it's all about this stuff. You
1224
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:13,600
know, like, I got to push through this like the, you know,
1225
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,800
the eyes so I could feel the eyes soren like searching for
1226
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:19,400
me, we got to hide, you know, I'm going to hide and, you know,
1227
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,300
and like I'm going to smoke some weed or finish my car,
1228
01:09:21,300 --> 01:09:23,500
whatever like that, you know, and then bring me back down into
1229
01:09:23,500 --> 01:09:27,900
that focus again, you know, like and one is just entertaining.
1230
01:09:27,900 --> 01:09:32,300
It's it's it's it's alive. It's open. You're using your mind,
1231
01:09:32,300 --> 01:09:34,900
you're, you know, like the imagination, which is such a
1232
01:09:34,900 --> 01:09:39,000
strong freaking tool. And the other is so limiting and boring
1233
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:45,500
and miserable. But we're like that stupid. Yeah. What I'm
1234
01:09:45,500 --> 01:09:52,500
having a fucking blast. Right. Yeah. I love that you said that
1235
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:56,800
that was actually really helpful to me about leaning into being
1236
01:09:56,800 --> 01:10:04,000
as magical as as we can in those moments, right? Because it is
1237
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:10,000
the best experience. Right. And the present moment, which is
1238
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:14,500
all we really have. That's the best experience for me. Yeah.
1239
01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:21,300
Yeah, you know, the other day, um, I forgot something was going
1240
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:26,400
on with my daughter. She wasn't like feeling well or something
1241
01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:29,400
and I got to get nervous, you know, and start feeling a little
1242
01:10:29,400 --> 01:10:35,900
anxious. And what I did was I just started like, all right,
1243
01:10:35,900 --> 01:10:37,900
my mind wants to think about my daughter. Great. Let's think
1244
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:41,400
about my daughter. And I started thinking like, when she was
1245
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:47,900
a kid, like when she was like, too, she was such a small thing.
1246
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:54,900
So light. And Sandy told her to go wake me up. And I remember
1247
01:10:54,900 --> 01:10:58,800
feeling something on me, but it wasn't enough to like completely
1248
01:10:58,800 --> 01:11:01,900
pull me out of sleep. But I remember like just thinking like,
1249
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:07,800
feels like someone's crawling on me. And I wake so what Sandy
1250
01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:11,500
told her was go wake daddy up and if he doesn't wake up, just
1251
01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:16,800
punch him in the face and wake him up. For Ruth, who one of
1252
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:20,100
her teachers in school, I think in second grade, gave her the
1253
01:11:20,100 --> 01:11:26,600
nickname ruthless. So she just gets this crazy smile on her
1254
01:11:26,600 --> 01:11:32,400
face, crawls up me and as I'm opening my eyes, all I see is
1255
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:35,400
her weird back like this. And she's got this face and she's
1256
01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:41,200
like, good morning. Boom. She's right in the nose. And Sandy's
1257
01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:45,500
just laughing so hard. And it was it was like the and I started
1258
01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:47,700
thinking about that you do it. It just happened again. I
1259
01:11:47,700 --> 01:11:50,500
completely forgot I was taught I started this talk about the
1260
01:11:50,500 --> 01:11:52,900
anxiety. But I was like, All right, my brain wants to think
1261
01:11:52,900 --> 01:11:54,300
about my daughter. I was thinking about my daughter. And I
1262
01:11:54,300 --> 01:11:59,100
thought of these amazing things about her. And within minutes,
1263
01:11:59,100 --> 01:12:03,700
the anxiety just melted away. I was feeling so happy.
1264
01:12:04,500 --> 01:12:08,700
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think that's great. Instead of trying to
1265
01:12:08,700 --> 01:12:12,300
fight the anxiety, you just focus on gratitude, focus on
1266
01:12:12,300 --> 01:12:15,100
what you do want, go to the light. It seems like that's
1267
01:12:15,100 --> 01:12:18,800
really my biggest takeaway overall from our conversation
1268
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:23,100
today is it doesn't matter what it is, go towards where it
1269
01:12:23,100 --> 01:12:26,700
feels lighter and more expansive. Like,
1270
01:12:27,900 --> 01:12:31,600
Yeah, like we're taking on fights that we don't need to
1271
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:38,100
fight. Right. That's really, really simple, right? Go
1272
01:12:38,100 --> 01:12:46,000
towards that. Right? Yeah. Just move. Right. It's just a
1273
01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:50,000
thought for past programming or you know, all that bullshit
1274
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:58,800
that's clanging around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna try
1275
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:03,400
practicing that and see how that feels and how my life is
1276
01:13:04,100 --> 01:13:06,200
different if I regard it that way.
1277
01:13:07,900 --> 01:13:11,400
Dude, I'm interested. I'm gonna try to find that that Alan
1278
01:13:11,400 --> 01:13:15,700
Watts video and send it to you because I want to see if you
1279
01:13:15,700 --> 01:13:17,800
try that listening thing like see.
1280
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:22,200
Yeah, I would love that. Yeah, I love meditating and
1281
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:26,800
sometimes I do guided meditation. Sometimes I do the bowls.
1282
01:13:26,800 --> 01:13:29,800
I don't know if you ever listen to singing bowls. Oh, yeah,
1283
01:13:30,300 --> 01:13:35,500
yeah. Like you can almost feel like the cycle of it. So I
1284
01:13:35,500 --> 01:13:41,500
put really good headphones on really loud. And then I feel
1285
01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:44,900
like I can access those higher like more theta brainwaves
1286
01:13:44,900 --> 01:13:50,900
fairly easily and it just feels good. Oh my God. Yeah. But
1287
01:13:50,900 --> 01:13:53,800
that's one of those things that I don't allow myself very
1288
01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:56,900
much because I don't have time for it and it's frivolous and
1289
01:13:56,900 --> 01:14:00,900
it's right. So that's what I'm saying. If I just go towards
1290
01:14:00,900 --> 01:14:05,700
what feels open and good and light and everything else I go
1291
01:14:05,700 --> 01:14:09,500
no thoughts all of all of that's just junk. I'm going towards
1292
01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:12,700
what feels then I would be giving myself permission to do
1293
01:14:12,700 --> 01:14:18,100
that more. And this is the way that the world is funny. That
1294
01:14:18,100 --> 01:14:22,700
could be the thing meditating an hour a day could be the thing
1295
01:14:22,700 --> 01:14:25,300
for success. Right. And this whole time I've been avoiding
1296
01:14:25,300 --> 01:14:28,700
it because I think it's a waste of time like right. Right.
1297
01:14:29,900 --> 01:14:30,700
Right.
1298
01:14:31,900 --> 01:14:34,400
If imagine like if you're flexible enough to give up one
1299
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:38,300
hour for something that you that feels good that I know is
1300
01:14:38,300 --> 01:14:42,900
going to help me out. You know and imagine and getting and
1301
01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:46,500
just flushing those thoughts of like I don't have time. You
1302
01:14:46,500 --> 01:14:48,900
know just say well screw it instead of doing four hours
1303
01:14:48,900 --> 01:14:51,500
worth of work I'll do three but you know I'm doing this
1304
01:14:51,500 --> 01:14:54,700
meditation whatever you know if I've distracted myself
1305
01:14:54,700 --> 01:14:55,200
whatever.
1306
01:14:58,100 --> 01:15:01,300
And how funny would be if then everything turned around and
1307
01:15:01,300 --> 01:15:05,100
like now I'm working more than ever and like you know more
1308
01:15:05,100 --> 01:15:08,500
things are coming my way and stuff like that like yeah.
1309
01:15:10,300 --> 01:15:15,300
Yeah and I think that is what I want to believe right now is
1310
01:15:15,300 --> 01:15:19,100
the world doesn't work the way I think it does. There's a whole
1311
01:15:19,100 --> 01:15:20,000
another way.
1312
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:25,700
And I believe it enough to give it a try and see what it's
1313
01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:27,200
like on the other side.
1314
01:15:28,300 --> 01:15:28,800
Yeah.
1315
01:15:30,300 --> 01:15:32,300
Yeah. I mean why not.
1316
01:15:32,300 --> 01:15:37,300
Yeah I mean this is our one lifetime right I certainly would
1317
01:15:37,300 --> 01:15:42,300
be regretful on my deathbed if I didn't try to live fully into
1318
01:15:42,300 --> 01:15:46,300
the magic of the human experience. Yes whatever that looks
1319
01:15:46,300 --> 01:15:46,700
like.
1320
01:15:49,300 --> 01:15:49,900
Yeah.
1321
01:15:50,700 --> 01:15:51,300
It feels good.
1322
01:15:52,100 --> 01:15:53,100
It was real good man.
1323
01:15:53,700 --> 01:15:56,700
Yeah that feels awesome. All right that was perfect timing
1324
01:15:56,700 --> 01:15:58,700
anything else you want to say before I stop the recording.
1325
01:15:58,700 --> 01:16:02,700
No I that that was that was real like yeah that was good.
1326
01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:03,700
Very complete.
1327
01:16:03,700 --> 01:16:05,700
Thanks for joining us everybody.
1328
01:16:05,700 --> 01:16:09,700
Thank you so much for joining us.
1329
01:16:09,700 --> 01:16:13,700
We are so grateful for all of our listeners.
1330
01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:17,700
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1331
01:16:17,700 --> 01:16:21,700
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1332
01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:23,700
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1333
01:16:23,700 --> 01:16:29,700
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