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Welcome to the Chasing Thoughts podcast.
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Listen in as Mindy, Keith and their guests
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take a deep dive into their own minds and souls
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to investigate the beauty of imperfection,
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challenge their beliefs,
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and embrace the richness of living a truly authentic life.
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Welcome to Chasing Thoughts.
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Hi everybody, welcome to Chasing Thoughts.
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Keith and I here today,
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and today we're going to talk about conflict,
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which is super juicy.
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And I'm excited about this because I think that Keith and I
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have very different experiences with this.
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So Keith has struggled with anger,
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and he knows anger real well.
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And I'm the opposite.
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I'm totally afraid of anger.
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When I get into conflict, I have a tendency to roll over.
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I'm afraid to like hold my ground in like a back and forth,
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like powerful discussion.
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And that has not served me well at all in my life.
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Right?
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And so there's like, there's this middle ground of conflict
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that's healthy.
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I'd like to discuss what that is.
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And for me, this is coming up because you know,
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recently I've been having this, you know,
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weird thing that's been happening to my Instagram account where like,
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I just keep getting more action, I guess.
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You know?
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And so that means like more people commenting,
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more of this and that.
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And because it's new, I'm like, oh,
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I want to try to respond to all of this and like keep it going,
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which is like not sustainable at all.
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But it's been really interesting to me because there's been like
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this side little growth journey happening with me.
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So at first I would post something and then of course it's the internet
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and attack, negativity is going to happen, right?
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And I felt like, oh, I need to back away.
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I'm going to be, I'm the wrong one here.
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I should delete this post.
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I don't want negativity on my feed.
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I don't, like, it felt very,
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like I was disappearing, right?
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Or avoiding it, right?
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So it was, I sat with it because I'm like, wait a second,
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like this isn't how I want to operate.
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I had a situation back when I was coaching like 2010,
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2015, like in that, where I made this YouTube video and it actually
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got like a million hits, right?
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Like, wow.
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But then there was so many negative comments on it that I just deleted it.
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Wow.
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And I look back and I go, that didn't serve me, right?
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But I was so like shooken up and embarrassed about some of the comments
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that people had made about me and, um, so as this sort of has gone on this
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last week or two, well, pause the story for a minute.
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My husband is the opposite.
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He like loves it when people try to like scam bait him on the phone
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because he'll try to like, like, there's some sort of enjoyment he gets
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over being like confrontational.
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And I never understood that.
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I'm like, when someone tries to scam bait me, I feel bad for me.
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I feel bad for them.
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I just feel icky.
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Right.
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So I started playing around a little bit more with like,
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not disappearing, not being mean, right?
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But just not rolling over.
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And it's been an interesting kind of safe way in my comments thread,
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right?
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For me to like play around with what's happening in here around
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conflict and how I feel about conflict.
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And, um, I don't know.
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I don't have the answers, right?
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I just, I don't know.
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I don't have the answers, right?
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I just thought that it would be interesting.
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Um,
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Just be interesting to explore a little bit more,
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not just online, but in life. Like.
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How far do you stand up for yourself and when do you back up and roll
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over and what is standing up for yourself look like and what if the
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other person keeps going at you, even when you're kind and like all
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of those types of things.
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I just think it'd be nice to have a little more clarity on it.
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Yeah.
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That that is, that is such a crazy story too.
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Just about that this video, cause I mean,
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especially in the social media world,
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a video that gets a million views. Like, I mean, that's what everybody wants.
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Like I have one that has like 17,000 and I'm like, I,
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I am famous everybody. Like I'm stopping for all the graphs on the street,
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you know, um, and, and then to take it down for the cause of the,
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cause of the negative comments that is so, that's so wild.
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And, and I know like celebrities deal with this as well.
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You know, where sometimes the, the comments can trigger,
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I think their own judgments and maybe their own insecurities.
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And then they struggle with that.
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Um, yeah.
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Yeah.
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That is a, it can be such an amazing place and such a nasty place.
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Yeah. And I also see that, you know,
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I've talked a little bit about when I was an executive director and I had to deal
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a lot with like city hall and city managers and the mayor and all that.
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And like the conflict associated with that role was one that I wasn't
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able to navigate.
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Right. I wasn't, I either pushed too hard and people hated me and then I got a
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reputation as being a bitch, or I didn't push enough.
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And then I was a push, right? Like getting it right.
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And advocating for what was important to advocate for and letting go.
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What wasn't right. That was difficult for me.
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Yeah.
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And so this is something that I want to become more comfortable with.
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In my life, in my social media.
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And I certainly don't want to roll over.
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Like that's not the right thing.
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Yeah.
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The extreme that you knew before where you're pushing to make the other
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person roll over.
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That's not what you want either. Right.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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So I used to be the way where no matter how far you go,
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I will always go one step farther.
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Right.
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And like,
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especially when I came home from the military and I think that's part of
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like the military culture is also is.
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Accepting like a level of violence is as normal.
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And probably like, don't give up.
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Don't give in.
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And I think that's part of the military culture.
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And I think that's the way that I'm going to go.
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And probably like, don't give up.
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Don't give in.
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Right. Stay.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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And we're always fighting each other.
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You know, even, even if there's like a, an actual issue.
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You know, and this was before my day in the military,
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but you would go into, you know, behind the barracks or something.
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And just beat each other up and, and whoever,
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you know, you know, you know, you know, you're not going to get in the
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way of the military.
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And that was the loser, you know, and then at, at that point,
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everything is done.
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I remember in fact, when I first got to my unit and we were at the,
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at the club, because this is before Sandy got there.
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And I was out with, with the guys and stuff.
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Somebody got into a, into a fight.
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And all you just heard is someone yell bravo on your feet.
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And so we were part of Bravo company.
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And I'm looking around and everybody just.
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I was like, oh, I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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So, because one of the guys from our company,
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not even in our platoon, just our company got into a fight.
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And, and then it became a company versus company battle.
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So.
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I, I brought it that way to the point where I would say like the worst.
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The thing that scared me the most that really started to scare me with
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the idea of being a red light.
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And in Italy, you're not supposed to turn right on red.
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So I was driving with my family and,
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and I was out of red light turning right and I'm sitting there.
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So the guy behind me beeps and, and I, and I go, but he was,
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he was like, why was young then too,
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but trying to show off for his girlfriend in the,
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in the passenger seat and stuff.
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And so right after we get on the highway and he decided he wasn't done with
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the car, he was just sitting there.
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And he was like, I don't know,
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I don't know what to do with me for, for this mistake of not turning
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right on red.
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And so he pulled up along, alongside of me on the highway.
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I was in the middle lane. He pulls up on the right lane and he's
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given me the finger, but like Sandy sitting right there.
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So I went, I went black.
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And I just started slowly turning the wheel.
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And my, my intention was to put him into the wall of the tunnel
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at, at 70 miles an hour.
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And as, and I was just a slow thing too. I didn't just jam into him,
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just a slow thing where I started taking his plate and he started moving
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over when he got onto the shoulder.
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All's I remember is his girlfriend was hitting him. Sandy was hitting me.
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But I don't remember like anything and then I finally just stopped kind of
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snapped out of it. And I, and I realized like, I will take it to that point.
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You know, where I'll hurt somebody and that scared me so bad.
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Yeah.
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One of the problems, ironically, that I've had though over the last 20 years,
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dealing with PTSD and stuff and dealing with the constant negative
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put downs of myself that I create.
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I have gone when I started this,
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I went to the opposite extreme, you know, I feel like I saw,
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I feel like I started to where you could do,
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and you can come up and punch me in my face and I'd be like, God bless you, brother.
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Right.
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You know, I'm happy I can make your day by, by allowing you to beat me,
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you know, like type thing. And like you said,
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I feel like I was losing part of myself.
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Yeah.
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You know, like I want to find that balance where I can,
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I can still be kind, but,
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but also still be confident and assertive, you know, like,
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and that's kind of the word that I've,
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that I've kind of adopted where I want to learn assertiveness where I don't
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just roll over, but,
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but I do stand up for myself, you know what I mean?
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Because like you said, like I felt like I lost part of who I was in that
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overcorrection.
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Yeah.
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I think it's interesting that we have opposite reptilian brains, right?
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You go to fight or you used to, and I go to freeze, right?
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But in both cases, we're totally losing consciousness.
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Right. Yeah.
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Yeah. Response. And I think this is an important discussion at this time in
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the world too, because especially on social media, it's like when you hear
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things about that I find like really dangerous and offensive, like,
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gay people aren't humans or right, like some kind of crazy judgment.
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And do I have a job and responsibility to stand up for that?
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First question.
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If I do stand up for that and the person is clearly demonstrating behavior is
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that they're not interested in a conversation.
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They just want to be right and mean.
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Then do you just exit the conversation?
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Right. Like, you know, whatever you believe in, in this world,
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at what point do you stand up for it and what point do you draw back from it?
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And I think that is a challenge as well.
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And so it's like yourself, your family, but then it's also,
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I have the question about world issues.
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Or if you have a family member that believes something or is, you know,
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this came up a lot with the last Trump campaign where people are like,
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oh my God, my uncle's voting for Trump and I think it's bad or whatever.
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And they let it divide them.
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And when you're close to somebody like that, you might be able to have like a real
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conversation.
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But we have all this division happening.
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And so there's one part of my brain that's like, I don't want to be part of that
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division at all.
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I'm not going to enter those arguments.
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But then I'm like, well, isn't that apathy?
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Like, isn't that why Hitler was able to take over because people are like,
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I'm not going to enter that argument, whether or not Jews or people.
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Yeah.
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How like privileged am I to have that sort of apathy that I'm not, right?
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I'm not a colored person.
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I'm not a gay person.
251
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And I don't know.
252
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I just, I struggle with this concept.
253
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Yeah.
254
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,000
Yeah.
255
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:19,000
It is, it is such a nuanced issue.
256
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And I think that's a really important thing.
257
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Because of just where we are in the world with technology and everything,
258
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like I've heard people talk about how.
259
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They don't believe that we were meant.
260
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To get as much information.
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About like world affairs as we get.
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Today.
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You know, because you have.
264
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:50,000
Trump has been such a divisive figure,
265
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which I also think is the cause of.
266
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The political climate prior to that.
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You know, to create a space for somebody like that.
268
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Then you have Israel and Palestine, you have Russian Ukraine.
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You have the warlords in Africa.
270
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You have the gangs in South America, which, which help drive a lot of the
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immigration issue.
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And then, and then right back to us, you have that whole immigration issue,
273
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you know, where everything is an us versus them.
274
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Yeah.
275
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And.
276
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,000
I personally tend to stay out of.
277
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A lot of that because I think.
278
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As far as like the big issues.
279
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,000
For like, for instance, Israel versus Palestine.
280
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I know a little bit, but I don't know much.
281
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And I think that.
282
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One of the things that, that they've, they've.
283
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000
All right, let me, let me back up a little bit. So.
284
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I heard, I heard this story.
285
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:59,000
This was a professor of mine named Perry, who was.
286
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000
The coolest guy.
287
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,000
I have ever met in my life.
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He's.
289
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,000
He was an archeologist. He dug in South Africa.
290
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,000
He's an African American guy. He had, you know, dreads.
291
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,000
He was like 70 at like dreads down to like lower back.
292
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Wearing like the coolest clothes. I'm like, I love this dude.
293
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,000
And, and he, he was like, I want to debate. If you don't agree with me.
294
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:27,000
Stand up and let me know and we'll, we'll debate.
295
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000
And he changed my mind on a lot of stuff,
296
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:34,000
but he told his story about this, this thing in history called the Bacon's
297
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000
rebellion.
298
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,000
And it was, I think the late.
299
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
Um,
300
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,000
Maybe, maybe the mid 1800s. I can't remember at this point, but anyways.
301
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000
So.
302
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:51,000
Prior to this, like there was, there was nothing called white.
303
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000
There weren't white people.
304
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,000
There, there were like, you know, um, and,
305
00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,000
and you had the slaves and then you had indentured servants, the, the,
306
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000
the, like, you know, like the Irish stuff like that.
307
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,000
And they, at that point, they.
308
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,000
Pushed, you know, yeah, get married into racial marriage. Yeah. Not a big deal.
309
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,000
Yeah, go ahead, be happy, you know, all this stuff.
310
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,000
And what happened was the, the indentured servants and the,
311
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,000
and the slaves, they, they banded together, rose up under this guy named
312
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,000
Bacon and, and they, they revolted.
313
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,000
And they took over a bunch of plantations and stuff. And, and.
314
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,000
It was finally put down, but one of the things they did at the end of it.
315
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:36,000
Um, is they gave a little bit more rights.
316
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,000
To the white indentured servants. And then what that did was that caused
317
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:45,000
the white desert servants to start fighting against the, the black slaves.
318
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,000
So they used.
319
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,000
Conflict to divide and to separate.
320
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
And to me.
321
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000
Yeah. Yeah.
322
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000
Because now when they're fighting each other,
323
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,000
and they're fighting each other.
324
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:05,000
And now the plantation owners are sitting back with their sweet tea and
325
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,000
their cigars, you know, just enjoying life.
326
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,000
And.
327
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,000
It seems like.
328
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,000
In the media, which I think is just another arm of like our political
329
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,000
system.
330
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000
That's what it does. It drives.
331
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000
It inserts conflict into us.
332
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,000
And it creates an osse versus them.
333
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,400
an enemy.
334
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,320
Right.
335
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:32,480
And then what they do is they start to dehumanize the other.
336
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,620
You know, if like, I mean, and it's both sides,
337
00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:40,920
you know, people that voted for Trump, they're stupid.
338
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,680
What was it with Hillary Clinton degenerates,
339
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,040
you know, Blackwood, Redneck, Moonshiners,
340
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,120
you know, white supremacists.
341
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:52,080
And, you know, maybe there are some in there,
342
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,400
especially the white supremacists,
343
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,240
but then on the other side, you know, you have, you know,
344
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,040
the Litwit and the, oh, they just want to,
345
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,240
they're socialists, they're communists.
346
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,880
They want to take my money and give it to everybody else.
347
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,000
And they start to dehumanize.
348
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,960
And that's something that's been used in war.
349
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,920
I mean, from beginning of time, I mean, every,
350
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,160
every war that we've had from the Revolutionary War,
351
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,720
we've had derogatory slang that was used for the enemy.
352
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,640
And you have to de, in my opinion,
353
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,280
you have to dehumanize the enemy in order to be able
354
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:28,280
to pull that trigger or do what you got to do
355
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,800
and not have it like destroy your soul.
356
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,000
Yeah.
357
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,560
And that's what, that's where we find ourselves,
358
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,680
like in this place of complete,
359
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:44,680
just divided conflict constantly,
360
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,120
because like you said, we're not,
361
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:50,160
we're allowing other people to be our consciousness,
362
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,200
the media, and the media is telling us,
363
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,320
how to react from that reptilian side of our brain
364
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,400
by using fear to drive up that anger.
365
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,320
Yeah.
366
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:05,520
So I tend to stay out of a lot of that stuff
367
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,080
because I don't know the history.
368
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:13,080
I don't know the truth of the matter.
369
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:14,920
Yeah.
370
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,840
You know, I can easily say like,
371
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,600
all right, 30,000 people dead, that's wrong.
372
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,240
Yeah.
373
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,040
You know, but I mean, it's so nuanced.
374
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,360
I feel like for the most part,
375
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:32,360
I have opted to be on the sidelines as well,
376
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,800
mainly because I feel like I have two choices,
377
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,600
be in the fight, be divided, or be on the sideline.
378
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,440
And it doesn't seem like there's a third option
379
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,040
of actually discussing things and coming to common ground
380
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,580
and that kind of thing.
381
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:53,580
But then it also feels sometimes sort of
382
00:19:56,940 --> 00:20:01,940
out of touch and arrogant to be building a social platform,
383
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:07,220
right, or I don't know what you want to call it,
384
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:09,700
like expertise or influencer,
385
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,780
or being out in the world publicly
386
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:15,020
and totally ignoring what's happening
387
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:18,220
and posting a meme that's funny, right?
388
00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:19,820
Like there's something sort of,
389
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:21,620
you know, there's children being killed over here
390
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:25,060
and you're like, ha, ha, this is what I did to it, right?
391
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:29,220
There's some sort of, something gross about that too,
392
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:32,260
like not acknowledging what's happening in the world at all.
393
00:20:35,060 --> 00:20:36,500
And I just wish that,
394
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,060
I wish there was another way,
395
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:43,540
or I want somebody to show me a third option
396
00:20:43,540 --> 00:20:46,460
of how to navigate the world
397
00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,380
and stand up for what I want
398
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:53,380
without being drawn into these arguments or othering,
399
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:55,820
you know?
400
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,660
Yeah.
401
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:00,700
What I've been trying to do
402
00:21:02,820 --> 00:21:07,820
with where I feel like this is where I want to be is
403
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,620
people can come at me, you know?
404
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:13,140
So if I have an opinion about something,
405
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:14,900
you know, I could say this stuff, you know,
406
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,500
and then people can come at me
407
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:22,700
and we have this idea of like,
408
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,860
I'm gonna treat you how you treat me, you know?
409
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:30,340
And that to me is just going to lead to conflict.
410
00:21:30,340 --> 00:21:31,260
Oh yeah.
411
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:35,540
So I've made this decision where I'm gonna treat you
412
00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:40,300
the way I am because nobody,
413
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:44,220
well, I'm getting to the point where I wanted,
414
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,900
I wanna be able to say nobody can control my feelings
415
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:52,260
because my anger is beautiful and it's sacred
416
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:55,100
and it's mine, my emotions are sacred, you know?
417
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,060
In church, I learned for the longest time,
418
00:21:57,060 --> 00:22:00,580
emotions are evil, you're not supposed to have them,
419
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:03,980
all this stuff, but my emotions are sacred to me.
420
00:22:03,980 --> 00:22:06,980
I mean, they're what make me me.
421
00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:13,980
And nobody is gonna be able to control how I react.
422
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:19,900
So even when, and for me, like my platform,
423
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:22,260
like I'm gonna put out my message
424
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:26,860
and the message that I feel aligned with,
425
00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:29,420
that I feel is my purpose.
426
00:22:29,420 --> 00:22:33,660
And, you know, for instance, that's not,
427
00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:35,940
see, I'm even like getting nervous of saying,
428
00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:38,740
I wanna say this, but I'm getting nervous saying this
429
00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:40,940
because I'm like, what are the comments gonna be?
430
00:22:40,940 --> 00:22:41,860
Great.
431
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:46,860
My message is not free Palestine
432
00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:51,860
or I stand with Israel, like my message is love.
433
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,260
So I'm gonna push that.
434
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:58,020
And then when somebody comes at me with,
435
00:22:58,020 --> 00:22:59,700
you need to do this, you need to do this,
436
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:03,060
you need to do this, like one of the things
437
00:23:03,060 --> 00:23:04,700
that I've learned is like all of that
438
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,220
is a reflection of who they are inside.
439
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,220
And what they're trying to do is put that on me.
440
00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:13,020
Like if I don't have the same stance that they have,
441
00:23:13,020 --> 00:23:15,340
again, it's gonna create a me versus them.
442
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:18,820
And now they see me as an other and they gotta go at me.
443
00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:19,980
Great.
444
00:23:19,980 --> 00:23:24,140
But I'm trying to still look at them as,
445
00:23:24,980 --> 00:23:27,140
they're just people, they got their message,
446
00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:30,100
they got their passion, whatever,
447
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:35,100
but they don't realize, wow, I don't even know
448
00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:38,380
how do you say this?
449
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:41,380
They don't realize that it is just a reflection of their
450
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:44,380
inside, I'm not the one making them mad.
451
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:45,220
Right.
452
00:23:45,220 --> 00:23:46,780
They're just mad.
453
00:23:46,780 --> 00:23:47,620
Yeah.
454
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:51,420
So I'm not gonna stoke that fire in them
455
00:23:51,420 --> 00:23:55,260
because I lived in that for so long.
456
00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:56,740
God, it feels icky.
457
00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:59,620
Oh my, it's a miserable existence.
458
00:23:59,620 --> 00:24:00,460
Yeah.
459
00:24:00,460 --> 00:24:03,100
I mean, like you literally get to this point
460
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:07,820
where you're trying to control the entire world.
461
00:24:07,820 --> 00:24:11,460
And when it doesn't go the way that you want it to go,
462
00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:13,420
you lose your shit.
463
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,060
Yeah.
464
00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:20,060
You know, which means I would lose my shit 18 times a day.
465
00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:21,820
I control it.
466
00:24:21,820 --> 00:24:23,900
Yeah, I mean, the other day, I'm like,
467
00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:26,340
I'm like prepping coffee for the morning.
468
00:24:26,340 --> 00:24:28,540
And I wasn't thinking, you know,
469
00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:32,700
my mind was other places and the little scoop hit,
470
00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:36,060
just barely hit the edge of the coffee maker
471
00:24:36,060 --> 00:24:37,660
and all the coffee grounds all over the floor.
472
00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:40,700
And I'm like, all right.
473
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:42,820
So I'm like, all right, yeah.
474
00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:45,540
Yeah, ass like now go clean all this up, you know,
475
00:24:45,540 --> 00:24:47,380
cause you're an idiot and stuff like that,
476
00:24:47,380 --> 00:24:48,460
but I'm laughing about it.
477
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:51,860
You know, whereas before I would have spent 20 minutes
478
00:24:51,860 --> 00:24:54,140
walking around the house screaming my head off,
479
00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:57,220
you know, because of coffee grounds.
480
00:24:57,220 --> 00:24:58,060
Yeah.
481
00:24:58,060 --> 00:25:02,460
You know, so understanding that people's anger,
482
00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:03,700
even about like these issues,
483
00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:08,220
it's a reflection of them inside.
484
00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:10,100
And when I see that come out,
485
00:25:11,340 --> 00:25:16,140
I've now gotten to the point where I can feel bad for them,
486
00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:19,780
because I remember what that's like, you know,
487
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:24,780
and I remember how debilitating living in that constant state
488
00:25:24,780 --> 00:25:29,780
of readiness for conflict, how exhausting that can be.
489
00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:33,820
Yeah, your nervous system is just jacked up all the time.
490
00:25:33,820 --> 00:25:34,940
Oh yeah.
491
00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:36,260
Yeah.
492
00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:37,580
You know, attention headaches,
493
00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:40,380
you see all these people that have all these things,
494
00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:42,780
like one of the things I just learned about was like cortisol,
495
00:25:42,780 --> 00:25:46,300
how you can tell somebody that has a lot of cortisol
496
00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:49,100
on their system, cause they'll have like a big body,
497
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:52,220
but their arms and legs will be like little toothpicks.
498
00:25:52,220 --> 00:25:53,060
Yeah.
499
00:25:53,060 --> 00:25:56,380
You know that, you know, for the longest time,
500
00:25:57,260 --> 00:25:58,940
I could not lose weight.
501
00:25:59,780 --> 00:26:01,700
I mean, I would be eating carrots
502
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:05,300
and drinking these disgusting juices
503
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,620
that Sandy makes for me, you know, like,
504
00:26:07,620 --> 00:26:11,980
and not having anything that is good, you know,
505
00:26:11,980 --> 00:26:14,180
no cookies, no ice cream,
506
00:26:14,180 --> 00:26:17,660
like none of the like major food groups that I grew up on.
507
00:26:18,860 --> 00:26:21,980
And I couldn't lose weight.
508
00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:26,060
And when I started to meditate and lower my stress level,
509
00:26:26,060 --> 00:26:27,380
you know, when I started learning about
510
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,940
what cortisol does in our system,
511
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:34,060
all of a sudden like I dropped like 50 pounds.
512
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:34,900
Yeah.
513
00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:35,820
Isn't that crazy?
514
00:26:35,820 --> 00:26:39,500
Like, most middle connection to weight, yeah.
515
00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:40,340
Yeah.
516
00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:44,740
So I mean, just in that, taking on other people's need
517
00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:49,740
of conflict or their anger, their misery,
518
00:26:49,740 --> 00:26:52,260
whatever it is that they're dealing with,
519
00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:55,260
taking that on into ourselves
520
00:26:55,260 --> 00:26:57,540
is gonna have a biological reaction,
521
00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:58,940
not only emotional and mental,
522
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:01,540
but a biological reaction in our system.
523
00:27:01,540 --> 00:27:02,580
Yeah.
524
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:05,580
You know, and we talk about health and stuff like that
525
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:08,140
and not putting in processed foods and stuff.
526
00:27:08,140 --> 00:27:09,260
Well, the other thing I don't wanna put in
527
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:11,460
is somebody else's processed thoughts.
528
00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:12,540
Yeah.
529
00:27:12,540 --> 00:27:13,660
Yeah, for sure.
530
00:27:14,620 --> 00:27:17,220
Yeah, I've noticed that for me,
531
00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:21,540
another red flag is if I start to feel like
532
00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:25,060
I have to prove myself or defend myself,
533
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,500
it's like that's a red flag that like
534
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,860
something's not clear here, right?
535
00:27:29,860 --> 00:27:34,860
Like I've entered into the game of this, of conflict.
536
00:27:35,140 --> 00:27:36,060
Yeah.
537
00:27:36,060 --> 00:27:38,740
But, you know, that's challenging to do
538
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,900
when it's an issue that you care about
539
00:27:42,900 --> 00:27:47,900
or, you know, I guess the way I've been handling things
540
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:52,540
as they come up is I'll take one step in
541
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:58,220
and then if it's clear that that's not a discussion,
542
00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:00,780
I just thank the person for their opinion
543
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:02,540
and step back out.
544
00:28:04,340 --> 00:28:06,620
I mean, it's a little bit different in real person,
545
00:28:06,620 --> 00:28:08,940
you know, like close relationships,
546
00:28:08,940 --> 00:28:12,580
but on the internet, I think that's all you can do.
547
00:28:12,580 --> 00:28:13,420
Right?
548
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:17,460
Because having an internet conversation with a stranger
549
00:28:17,460 --> 00:28:22,260
that simply does not want to entertain any other ideas
550
00:28:22,260 --> 00:28:24,580
is just a waste of your time, right?
551
00:28:24,580 --> 00:28:27,140
You're not really furthering the issue of anything.
552
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:30,140
You're solidifying their position by arguing with them.
553
00:28:31,140 --> 00:28:32,340
Right, right.
554
00:28:32,340 --> 00:28:35,740
And that's some of the comments that you get
555
00:28:35,740 --> 00:28:38,020
on your socials like piss me off sometime.
556
00:28:38,020 --> 00:28:39,940
I go back into like,
557
00:28:39,940 --> 00:28:42,660
like I feel like the demons stern inside
558
00:28:42,660 --> 00:28:47,660
and I want to like lash out with something horrible.
559
00:28:49,380 --> 00:28:52,340
One time, all right, it's a little side note,
560
00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:56,060
but so when me and Sandy split up,
561
00:28:56,060 --> 00:29:01,060
we were both having some financial issues, you know,
562
00:29:01,940 --> 00:29:04,660
and we were getting calls from bill collectors.
563
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:07,820
So I got a call from one and I was like, look,
564
00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:10,100
it was a woman and I was like, look,
565
00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:13,380
I just, you know, was separated from my wife.
566
00:29:13,380 --> 00:29:15,140
Like I'm going to get all the straightened out,
567
00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:18,620
just need a little bit of time to get my finances back in order.
568
00:29:18,620 --> 00:29:20,420
And she said to me, you know,
569
00:29:20,420 --> 00:29:22,940
because bill collectors, they're nasty,
570
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:24,540
they're supposed to be.
571
00:29:24,540 --> 00:29:25,740
And she said to me,
572
00:29:25,740 --> 00:29:27,380
maybe if you can handle your finances,
573
00:29:27,380 --> 00:29:28,700
your wife wouldn't have left you.
574
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:32,460
So I was like, okay, you took it there.
575
00:29:32,460 --> 00:29:33,980
And I'm like, my rule,
576
00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:35,700
I'm always going to take it step farther.
577
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:38,020
I started having phone sacks with her.
578
00:29:39,020 --> 00:29:41,820
And she hung up very, very quickly.
579
00:29:44,220 --> 00:29:46,820
And it was a couple of days later,
580
00:29:46,820 --> 00:29:50,580
I went over to pick up the kids and Sandy was bawling.
581
00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:54,420
She had just lost her mother like a couple of weeks prior.
582
00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:56,260
And she was on the phone and I'm like, you know,
583
00:29:56,260 --> 00:29:57,580
I was asking her what was going on.
584
00:29:57,580 --> 00:30:00,340
And it was a bill collector.
585
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:02,180
And she was trying to explain
586
00:30:02,180 --> 00:30:05,380
how she spent sending money to her.
587
00:30:05,380 --> 00:30:06,660
Sending money in and stuff,
588
00:30:06,660 --> 00:30:08,340
but her mother just died, you know,
589
00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:10,420
she'll get to it, she forgot.
590
00:30:10,420 --> 00:30:13,580
And the guy was just being nasty.
591
00:30:13,580 --> 00:30:16,540
So I was like, well, that worked with her.
592
00:30:16,540 --> 00:30:17,900
So let me see, you know,
593
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:19,100
so I was like, let me have the phone.
594
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:20,660
And I'm like, listen, why are you being like this?
595
00:30:20,660 --> 00:30:21,940
You know, I gave him a chance
596
00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:24,340
and he was still being nasty.
597
00:30:24,340 --> 00:30:26,140
So I started describing to him
598
00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:28,140
what I was going to do to his mother.
599
00:30:29,100 --> 00:30:30,660
And he hung up.
600
00:30:30,660 --> 00:30:32,780
And the funny thing was is that next day,
601
00:30:32,780 --> 00:30:35,780
they called, like somebody else called back
602
00:30:35,780 --> 00:30:37,820
and set up a payment plan with her.
603
00:30:37,820 --> 00:30:39,460
The payment plan was actually less money
604
00:30:39,460 --> 00:30:40,900
than she was sending.
605
00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:42,380
She was sending like $50 a month.
606
00:30:42,380 --> 00:30:44,460
They were like, just send us $10 a month.
607
00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:47,540
And like, dude, that could have been handled
608
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:48,900
so much easier.
609
00:30:50,620 --> 00:30:53,100
But yeah, so some of the comments that you get,
610
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:56,220
I want to go back to that.
611
00:30:56,220 --> 00:30:59,180
You know, that's the urge I have, especially,
612
00:30:59,180 --> 00:31:00,740
do you mind if I bring one up?
613
00:31:00,740 --> 00:31:05,740
So you posted something and the first comment somebody put,
614
00:31:07,980 --> 00:31:10,300
but why are you talking like that?
615
00:31:10,300 --> 00:31:13,460
You know, and they spelled out, you know,
616
00:31:13,460 --> 00:31:16,140
and you have naturally a more like,
617
00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:17,460
I don't know, what'd you call it?
618
00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:19,340
A voice or something?
619
00:31:19,340 --> 00:31:20,180
Yeah.
620
00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:21,460
And like, dude, when I smoke,
621
00:31:21,460 --> 00:31:23,180
I turn into like Jack Nicholson.
622
00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:27,660
I'm like, dude, let's talk about consciousness, man.
623
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:32,660
You know, like I go completely into another like
624
00:31:33,220 --> 00:31:34,740
voice personality.
625
00:31:37,220 --> 00:31:42,220
But for those people that are just saying stuff,
626
00:31:42,740 --> 00:31:47,260
to just say stuff, to just be mean,
627
00:31:49,060 --> 00:31:53,540
their punishment, whatever you want to call it,
628
00:31:53,540 --> 00:31:56,260
karma, reward, you know, whatever,
629
00:31:56,260 --> 00:31:59,260
is they, if that's what they're putting out,
630
00:31:59,260 --> 00:32:04,020
imagine what they feel inside, you know?
631
00:32:04,020 --> 00:32:06,660
And it's hard to do because we take that stuff so personally.
632
00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:08,860
I mean, and because a lot of times it triggers our own
633
00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:11,860
insecurities about ourselves, you know, but,
634
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:15,500
like I was talking to a guy once when I worked at this program
635
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,340
who was schizophrenic,
636
00:32:16,340 --> 00:32:19,660
we were talking about our internal versus external world.
637
00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:20,860
And he said, the sad thing is,
638
00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:22,820
is most people create an internal world
639
00:32:22,820 --> 00:32:26,140
that is so disgusting, nobody would want to live in it.
640
00:32:27,060 --> 00:32:30,580
So that's why we have to try to control everything externally.
641
00:32:31,980 --> 00:32:34,300
You know, and I thought that was like, I was like, dude,
642
00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:37,420
that was one of the wisest things I think I've ever heard.
643
00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:38,340
Yeah.
644
00:32:38,340 --> 00:32:41,540
I think your example of the bill collector was really good.
645
00:32:41,540 --> 00:32:44,140
And that was one of the things that I was sort of,
646
00:32:45,100 --> 00:32:46,380
I don't know if I'd use the word struggle,
647
00:32:46,380 --> 00:32:48,500
but contemplating and looking at,
648
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:51,500
like I posted some kind of meme that said like,
649
00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:53,900
everybody's having a hard time, you have no idea,
650
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:56,620
like be kind to the people who you interact with
651
00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:58,300
in your life.
652
00:32:58,300 --> 00:33:01,580
And somebody made a comment that's like, you know,
653
00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:04,300
something about like, I lost my job
654
00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:05,980
or somebody didn't give this to me.
655
00:33:05,980 --> 00:33:09,020
And so I'm not going to be mean to them or something.
656
00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:13,380
And I was like, well, you know,
657
00:33:14,580 --> 00:33:16,340
like you can be nice to the human
658
00:33:16,340 --> 00:33:17,860
and still hate the organization
659
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:20,220
for their decisions or policies.
660
00:33:20,220 --> 00:33:24,220
But, you know, it's just,
661
00:33:24,220 --> 00:33:27,220
and they came back with a reason why they couldn't.
662
00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:29,300
And then I just left it because it's like, well,
663
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:30,540
that's what I said, I took one step in,
664
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:33,140
I told you my opinion, if you don't want it.
665
00:33:34,820 --> 00:33:38,700
But it's interesting to me as I start to get
666
00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:40,500
more and more comments.
667
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:45,460
I guess I'm questioning my responsibility, for example,
668
00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:48,860
you saw the one, the one, me and my post-it
669
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:51,300
where it has like Jesus and he says, love everybody.
670
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:52,460
Yeah, yeah.
671
00:33:52,460 --> 00:33:53,980
And then the guy, somebody else says like,
672
00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:57,380
even if they're gay and then somebody else says like,
673
00:33:57,380 --> 00:33:59,660
yes, even if they ask stupid questions, right?
674
00:33:59,660 --> 00:34:01,140
It was just like a funny little meme.
675
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:03,500
I thought it was funny, right?
676
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:07,380
But like the amount of,
677
00:34:11,140 --> 00:34:14,380
in my opinion, just like really horrible shit
678
00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:19,380
that people say and judgment, and then I think,
679
00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:21,420
well, like I don't want any part of this,
680
00:34:21,420 --> 00:34:23,860
I want to delete it, right?
681
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:26,540
And it's like, okay, so if I post something
682
00:34:26,540 --> 00:34:29,780
and somebody misinterprets it or they say something mean
683
00:34:29,780 --> 00:34:33,300
on it, do I have a responsibility to hide their comment,
684
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:36,060
delete their comment, respond to their comment?
685
00:34:36,060 --> 00:34:39,620
Like, where does my responsibility in this world end
686
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:42,980
if I say something and somebody misinterprets me
687
00:34:42,980 --> 00:34:46,900
or I guess I'm just trying to feel this out
688
00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:50,300
on a bigger platform, like as a person grows bigger
689
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:52,540
and bigger in the world and their message
690
00:34:52,540 --> 00:34:54,260
and their impact is bigger,
691
00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:56,180
they have a larger responsibility.
692
00:34:59,300 --> 00:35:01,620
What does that really look like?
693
00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:06,260
Like what are the nuances of that, right?
694
00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:09,460
Yeah, I don't know.
695
00:35:09,460 --> 00:35:13,140
I kind of...
696
00:35:13,140 --> 00:35:14,860
Or do you just let it go?
697
00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:17,300
But that seems irresponsible in a way.
698
00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:19,140
But so I guess my question would be
699
00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:22,700
is what do we have a responsibility to or for?
700
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,700
Do we have a responsibility for...
701
00:35:26,140 --> 00:35:26,980
That's a good question, right?
702
00:35:26,980 --> 00:35:29,220
I have a responsibility for my clarity
703
00:35:29,220 --> 00:35:32,140
but not for the other person's understanding.
704
00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:34,340
Yeah, okay, because in the social media world,
705
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:36,940
even though it's nasty comments,
706
00:35:36,940 --> 00:35:39,660
and I still struggle, like if I get one,
707
00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:42,820
like I start like, I'm like, oh man, I'm stupid,
708
00:35:42,820 --> 00:35:47,300
because it triggers my issues, you know?
709
00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:52,300
But every comment, I saw a video once,
710
00:35:52,420 --> 00:35:54,580
this woman, she was, and she just looked
711
00:35:54,580 --> 00:35:58,140
like the most confident, strong person
712
00:35:58,140 --> 00:36:01,620
and she was explaining why she loves
713
00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:05,020
getting these horrible comments.
714
00:36:05,020 --> 00:36:07,220
So she's like, because all you're doing
715
00:36:07,220 --> 00:36:09,380
is pushing my message out further and further.
716
00:36:09,380 --> 00:36:11,700
So every horrible comment I get,
717
00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:15,740
it's like upping like how far the algorithm is.
718
00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:18,460
Yeah, and that means that my message is reaching
719
00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:20,820
more people than it does resonate with.
720
00:36:20,820 --> 00:36:21,660
Right.
721
00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:24,580
You know, it's getting there on the backs of assholes
722
00:36:24,580 --> 00:36:26,820
but it's getting there.
723
00:36:26,820 --> 00:36:27,660
Yeah.
724
00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:32,660
And so I think that our responsibility is to our purpose.
725
00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:50,260
I don't know if that gives me a lot more clarity.
726
00:36:53,060 --> 00:36:53,900
Yeah.
727
00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:57,260
You know, I mean, I guess that would be a good thing
728
00:36:57,260 --> 00:37:01,180
for like a deep medicine dive for me, right?
729
00:37:01,180 --> 00:37:02,020
Yeah.
730
00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:05,420
You know, because you're like, if you asked me,
731
00:37:05,420 --> 00:37:07,780
like what is my purpose, I would say,
732
00:37:08,940 --> 00:37:11,620
to help people come home to themselves.
733
00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:19,500
But even if I know that, I still don't understand
734
00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:26,340
how that plays out in all these nuanced situations.
735
00:37:26,340 --> 00:37:27,180
Right.
736
00:37:27,180 --> 00:37:28,020
Yeah.
737
00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:30,340
Yeah, it's still, but it would be,
738
00:37:30,340 --> 00:37:32,940
it would be an interesting exploration for sure,
739
00:37:32,940 --> 00:37:35,820
like a deeper inner exploration.
740
00:37:36,940 --> 00:37:41,940
Yeah, I remember watching a documentary on Jane Goodall
741
00:37:43,540 --> 00:37:46,740
who I think she's just the most amazing woman.
742
00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:51,940
And she started going into pharmaceutical companies
743
00:37:51,940 --> 00:37:56,460
and touring where they kept the chimps.
744
00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:58,820
And then she would give a speech like afterwards
745
00:37:58,820 --> 00:38:00,780
and she would show the chimps in the wild.
746
00:38:01,860 --> 00:38:04,140
And she would show them the behavior of the chimps
747
00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:08,300
in the cages and how, you know, how they were acting.
748
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:10,660
She said, you're damaging.
749
00:38:10,660 --> 00:38:13,940
So she showed like the humanity of the chimps.
750
00:38:13,940 --> 00:38:16,300
She showed them their consciousness
751
00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:18,340
and she was getting death threats.
752
00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:21,340
She was being called a traitor to the, you know,
753
00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:25,140
conservation type movement.
754
00:38:25,140 --> 00:38:28,380
And she said this, she said,
755
00:38:28,380 --> 00:38:30,500
if you want to change someone's mind,
756
00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:32,420
you have to first touch their heart.
757
00:38:34,420 --> 00:38:36,940
And that's kind of become, I don't know.
758
00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:37,780
Internet.
759
00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:38,620
Yeah.
760
00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:41,340
Like I get that practice with a real person,
761
00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:44,860
but I'm not like that practice is really hard
762
00:38:44,860 --> 00:38:46,660
on social media, right?
763
00:38:46,660 --> 00:38:50,220
Yeah, but each person that interacts with us,
764
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:56,500
is a person that is coming to us with their experiences,
765
00:38:57,660 --> 00:39:02,660
with their perspective, with the way they see the world.
766
00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:06,660
And a lot of them come as assholes.
767
00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:09,660
Right. It's very spiky. Yeah.
768
00:39:09,660 --> 00:39:14,660
Yeah. And I've gotten to the point where I can see them.
769
00:39:14,660 --> 00:39:16,660
I don't respond that way.
770
00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:18,660
Like I don't, I never respond immediately.
771
00:39:18,660 --> 00:39:21,660
If I get a good, if I get like a good comment,
772
00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:25,660
like I just post something about UFOs and stuff.
773
00:39:25,660 --> 00:39:28,660
And this dude was like, the Fermi paradox says,
774
00:39:28,660 --> 00:39:29,660
and I'm like, I don't know.
775
00:39:29,660 --> 00:39:30,660
I don't care what you're saying, but I love you.
776
00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:31,660
You're awesome.
777
00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:33,660
Fermi paradox and stuff.
778
00:39:33,660 --> 00:39:35,660
So I made a video off of that.
779
00:39:35,660 --> 00:39:38,660
And then he brought me some even more information.
780
00:39:38,660 --> 00:39:40,660
Like there's this theoretical vehicle
781
00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:42,660
that can move through space and time.
782
00:39:42,660 --> 00:39:45,660
Like, you know, so it'd be almost like interdimensional type
783
00:39:45,660 --> 00:39:48,660
travel instead of interstellar travel and stuff.
784
00:39:48,660 --> 00:39:49,660
And we're into that.
785
00:39:49,660 --> 00:39:50,660
So I'm responding immediately.
786
00:39:50,660 --> 00:39:53,660
Like my thumbs are just going like, like I'm like a 12 year old,
787
00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:58,660
you know, but when I get the ones that are telling me I'm wrong,
788
00:40:00,660 --> 00:40:04,660
I have to hold back because like at first I'm, I'm like angry.
789
00:40:04,660 --> 00:40:06,660
I take it personal and stuff.
790
00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:09,660
But then after that little bit of time,
791
00:40:09,660 --> 00:40:12,660
like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
792
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:15,660
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like angry.
793
00:40:15,660 --> 00:40:17,660
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like angry.
794
00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:19,660
And then the other thing that I remember,
795
00:40:19,660 --> 00:40:22,660
like that is a person that has had their experiences that has
796
00:40:22,660 --> 00:40:24,660
built who they are and how they see the world.
797
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:27,660
And sometimes I'm like, you know what?
798
00:40:27,660 --> 00:40:28,660
They got a point.
799
00:40:28,660 --> 00:40:29,660
You know, and.
800
00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:33,660
Other than, and other times I'm, I'm like, no,
801
00:40:33,660 --> 00:40:34,660
you're not right.
802
00:40:34,660 --> 00:40:38,660
And I'll make another video off that like explaining where I'm
803
00:40:38,660 --> 00:40:39,660
going to be.
804
00:40:39,660 --> 00:40:41,660
I'll make a video about that.
805
00:40:41,660 --> 00:40:42,660
And I'll make a video about it.
806
00:40:42,660 --> 00:40:44,660
And I'll make a video about it.
807
00:40:44,660 --> 00:40:47,660
So that's what the hell you're talking about or whatever.
808
00:40:47,660 --> 00:40:51,660
Because my, my message is, is like, love is the most one of the
809
00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:54,660
most powerful force. I think the only thing that is more,
810
00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:56,660
I know, I know, like energetically the vibration.
811
00:40:56,660 --> 00:40:57,660
The only thing that that is,
812
00:40:57,660 --> 00:41:00,660
it is a higher vibration than just love is authenticity.
813
00:41:00,660 --> 00:41:05,660
And I think authenticity is, is basically like a love of yourself.
814
00:41:05,660 --> 00:41:06,660
Yeah.
815
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:09,660
And, and since that's my message,
816
00:41:09,660 --> 00:41:12,660
that's how I've decided I will always respond.
817
00:41:12,660 --> 00:41:17,660
So call me what you want. Say what you want. Whatever.
818
00:41:17,660 --> 00:41:21,660
That's a reflection of how you feel about yourself.
819
00:41:21,660 --> 00:41:23,660
But how I feel about myself.
820
00:41:23,660 --> 00:41:24,660
Is.
821
00:41:24,660 --> 00:41:29,660
I feel love. I feel gratitude. So I'm going to come at you from
822
00:41:29,660 --> 00:41:32,660
where I am, not from where you are.
823
00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:36,660
But I'm going to come at you from where you are.
824
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:40,660
And that's helped me out so much.
825
00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:41,660
Yeah.
826
00:41:41,660 --> 00:41:42,660
I've had it.
827
00:41:42,660 --> 00:41:43,660
Oh, go ahead.
828
00:41:43,660 --> 00:41:46,660
I would say like, but I kind of brought one too far.
829
00:41:46,660 --> 00:41:48,660
So I had to start working a little bit more.
830
00:41:48,660 --> 00:41:49,660
I'm being a little bit more assertive.
831
00:41:49,660 --> 00:41:51,660
And being like, don't play Kate.
832
00:41:51,660 --> 00:41:53,660
You know, say like,
833
00:41:53,660 --> 00:41:54,660
I don't agree with you.
834
00:41:54,660 --> 00:41:56,660
And there's nothing wrong with that.
835
00:41:56,660 --> 00:41:59,660
Right. That's that. I think is a really deep truth.
836
00:41:59,660 --> 00:42:02,660
I mean, I don't agree with you. Thanks for your opinion.
837
00:42:02,660 --> 00:42:03,660
Yeah.
838
00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:07,660
Yeah. That I do a lot, especially with religious people,
839
00:42:07,660 --> 00:42:11,660
because if you're going to try to prove that you're right or wrong
840
00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:16,660
by like telling me Bible verses, and that's not my frame of absolute
841
00:42:16,660 --> 00:42:19,660
truth, we're never, we're in different universes, right?
842
00:42:19,660 --> 00:42:24,660
I can just thank you for your opinion and, and move on.
843
00:42:24,660 --> 00:42:25,660
Yeah.
844
00:42:25,660 --> 00:42:28,660
There's so, so much stuff that I read.
845
00:42:28,660 --> 00:42:32,660
I think it was a book that I read.
846
00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:36,660
There was a, there was a Malcolm Gladwell wrote this book called
847
00:42:36,660 --> 00:42:41,660
the bomber mafia about the, I think it was a hundred and a hundred
848
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:44,660
bomber squadron from World War II.
849
00:42:44,660 --> 00:42:45,660
And.
850
00:42:45,660 --> 00:42:49,660
There was, there was this guy named Fessinger who became a very prominent
851
00:42:49,660 --> 00:42:51,660
social psychologist who studied Colts.
852
00:42:51,660 --> 00:42:54,660
And he studied this cult called the Seekers and.
853
00:42:54,660 --> 00:42:58,660
And so all this, this woman who, who was a leader brought all their
854
00:42:58,660 --> 00:43:02,660
followers in and a UFO was going to land in her backyard and pick
855
00:43:02,660 --> 00:43:05,660
them up so that they were saved from the apocalypse.
856
00:43:05,660 --> 00:43:08,660
And it was supposed to happen like at four o'clock.
857
00:43:08,660 --> 00:43:12,660
So he, he's like watching all this happen four o'clock.
858
00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:16,660
She comes out of her room and she's like, I got a new message from the
859
00:43:16,660 --> 00:43:17,660
aliens.
860
00:43:17,660 --> 00:43:20,660
Like there's traffic, you know, whatever they're, they're running a
861
00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:21,660
little bit behind.
862
00:43:21,660 --> 00:43:24,660
They're going to be here at midnight, not at four o'clock.
863
00:43:24,660 --> 00:43:26,660
So they're like, all right, great.
864
00:43:26,660 --> 00:43:27,660
So they're waiting, they're waiting.
865
00:43:27,660 --> 00:43:29,660
And midnight comes and goes nothing.
866
00:43:29,660 --> 00:43:32,660
She comes about out of her little sanctum, whatever.
867
00:43:32,660 --> 00:43:34,660
And she's like, I got another message.
868
00:43:34,660 --> 00:43:36,660
They're coming on this date.
869
00:43:36,660 --> 00:43:39,660
And you know, and that date comes and goes, I got another message.
870
00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:40,660
They're coming on this date.
871
00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:43,660
And so what he found was that.
872
00:43:43,660 --> 00:43:47,660
When we have a belief system.
873
00:43:47,660 --> 00:43:51,660
And to me, this is again, one of the paradoxes that, that I'm falling
874
00:43:51,660 --> 00:43:53,660
in love with with life is that.
875
00:43:53,660 --> 00:43:58,660
We have belief systems, but belief systems are a box that we're put in.
876
00:43:58,660 --> 00:44:00,660
You know, that we believe from here to here.
877
00:44:00,660 --> 00:44:03,660
And I'm trying to expand that and just be.
878
00:44:03,660 --> 00:44:07,660
A seeker, you know, to be able to accept new information without having a
879
00:44:07,660 --> 00:44:10,660
belief wall that it just comes up against.
880
00:44:10,660 --> 00:44:14,660
And he said, we have a belief system and I, and those beliefs are challenged.
881
00:44:14,660 --> 00:44:17,660
We don't question the beliefs. We double down on them.
882
00:44:17,660 --> 00:44:18,660
Yeah.
883
00:44:18,660 --> 00:44:22,660
And in the religious side.
884
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,660
That's, that's what I have.
885
00:44:24,660 --> 00:44:27,660
I have found, you know, my background in Christianity.
886
00:44:27,660 --> 00:44:30,660
I mean, going to church from.
887
00:44:30,660 --> 00:44:34,660
Five years old, if not younger up until like 43.
888
00:44:34,660 --> 00:44:36,660
Reading my Bible constantly.
889
00:44:36,660 --> 00:44:38,660
You know, for a span, I read it.
890
00:44:38,660 --> 00:44:39,660
I read it.
891
00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:40,660
I read it.
892
00:44:40,660 --> 00:44:44,660
I had it down.
893
00:44:44,660 --> 00:44:45,660
10 chapters a day.
894
00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:48,660
And I can get through in three months.
895
00:44:48,660 --> 00:44:51,660
And I did that religiously.
896
00:44:51,660 --> 00:44:55,660
And I feel closer to God on this side where I stepped away.
897
00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:56,660
And I ever did.
898
00:44:56,660 --> 00:44:58,660
When I was in there.
899
00:44:58,660 --> 00:44:59,660
And so this is,
900
00:44:59,660 --> 00:45:03,660
this will be like one of the controversial things that'll really piss off a
901
00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:05,660
lot of, a lot of people that hold that faith.
902
00:45:05,660 --> 00:45:10,660
And that's not the intention. This is just what I believe religion has turned
903
00:45:10,660 --> 00:45:11,660
into.
904
00:45:11,660 --> 00:45:14,660
But I believe religion is turned into.
905
00:45:14,660 --> 00:45:16,660
Like a, like a thinly veiled humanism.
906
00:45:16,660 --> 00:45:18,660
It's a worship of self.
907
00:45:18,660 --> 00:45:20,660
It's all about.
908
00:45:20,660 --> 00:45:21,660
Right.
909
00:45:21,660 --> 00:45:23,660
Like I just saw a video.
910
00:45:23,660 --> 00:45:25,660
This lady's whole account.
911
00:45:25,660 --> 00:45:27,660
Is her on an airplane.
912
00:45:27,660 --> 00:45:30,660
At a, at a, she was at a train station.
913
00:45:30,660 --> 00:45:35,660
On a bus where she films herself.
914
00:45:35,660 --> 00:45:36,660
Yelling.
915
00:45:36,660 --> 00:45:38,660
Can I have your attention?
916
00:45:38,660 --> 00:45:41,660
I want you to know that Jesus Christ died for your sin.
917
00:45:41,660 --> 00:45:43,660
Like you're filming this. Like this isn't for God.
918
00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:45,660
This is for you. This is pride.
919
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:46,660
Yeah.
920
00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:48,660
You know, and.
921
00:45:48,660 --> 00:45:50,660
And I think that is sort of,
922
00:45:50,660 --> 00:45:52,660
they've taken the message.
923
00:45:52,660 --> 00:45:55,660
Of Jesus. And they've turned it into a way to control.
924
00:45:55,660 --> 00:45:58,660
And, and it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a,
925
00:45:58,660 --> 00:46:00,660
it's a way to control.
926
00:46:00,660 --> 00:46:03,660
And again, it creates an us first them.
927
00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:04,660
Yes.
928
00:46:04,660 --> 00:46:07,660
Which is so weird because the, the, the,
929
00:46:07,660 --> 00:46:09,660
the very words of Jesus.
930
00:46:09,660 --> 00:46:10,660
Are.
931
00:46:10,660 --> 00:46:14,660
Yeah. I would that none die and go to hell.
932
00:46:14,660 --> 00:46:17,660
And you're like, Oh, you don't, you don't, you don't think,
933
00:46:17,660 --> 00:46:21,660
uh, homosexuality is an abomination. You're, you're going to hell.
934
00:46:21,660 --> 00:46:24,660
I can't wait to see you burn.
935
00:46:24,660 --> 00:46:28,660
I can't wait to see you burn.
936
00:46:28,660 --> 00:46:30,660
I can't wait to see you burn.
937
00:46:30,660 --> 00:46:31,660
All right.
938
00:46:31,660 --> 00:46:34,660
Well, the guy that died for you and gave you salvation says that he
939
00:46:34,660 --> 00:46:37,660
doesn't want to see anybody dying go to hell, but you do.
940
00:46:37,660 --> 00:46:40,660
And you're on, on his wavelength dude. No, you're not.
941
00:46:40,660 --> 00:46:41,660
Not at all.
942
00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:45,660
You know, like the judgment, the, the hatred, the fear.
943
00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:46,660
Yeah.
944
00:46:46,660 --> 00:46:48,660
That, that is baked into that.
945
00:46:48,660 --> 00:46:50,660
And I feel very, very bad.
946
00:46:50,660 --> 00:46:51,660
For them.
947
00:46:51,660 --> 00:46:54,660
I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
948
00:46:54,660 --> 00:46:57,660
I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
949
00:46:57,660 --> 00:46:59,660
I really remember, you know,
950
00:46:59,660 --> 00:47:02,660
because I was deeply religious to church four times a week,
951
00:47:02,660 --> 00:47:03,660
that kind of thing.
952
00:47:03,660 --> 00:47:04,660
Oh, yeah.
953
00:47:04,660 --> 00:47:07,660
Someone would argue with me.
954
00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:10,660
I would just feel more and more self-righteous.
955
00:47:10,660 --> 00:47:11,660
Yes.
956
00:47:11,660 --> 00:47:13,660
And it was actually like a high, right?
957
00:47:13,660 --> 00:47:15,660
Like, right.
958
00:47:15,660 --> 00:47:18,660
And you're wrong. And.
959
00:47:18,660 --> 00:47:21,660
And I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
960
00:47:21,660 --> 00:47:24,660
I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
961
00:47:24,660 --> 00:47:27,660
Like when you go to hell and you'll, then you'll know, I was right.
962
00:47:27,660 --> 00:47:29,660
Like it's so separate.
963
00:47:29,660 --> 00:47:36,660
And so like you said, kind of arrogant or prideful or like.
964
00:47:36,660 --> 00:47:42,660
That position of like, God gave me the right to judge you.
965
00:47:42,660 --> 00:47:43,660
Yeah.
966
00:47:43,660 --> 00:47:44,660
Right.
967
00:47:44,660 --> 00:47:45,660
And that.
968
00:47:45,660 --> 00:47:46,660
Yeah.
969
00:47:46,660 --> 00:47:49,660
You know, I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
970
00:47:49,660 --> 00:47:52,660
But I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
971
00:47:52,660 --> 00:47:55,660
And then I would come up against that. Right.
972
00:47:55,660 --> 00:47:57,660
There's nothing you can do or say if somebody is.
973
00:47:57,660 --> 00:47:58,660
In that place.
974
00:47:58,660 --> 00:48:03,660
And not is challenging.
975
00:48:03,660 --> 00:48:05,660
And, and for the most, but not, not, not for,
976
00:48:05,660 --> 00:48:07,660
and because I know a lot of great Christians that.
977
00:48:07,660 --> 00:48:12,660
I miss from my church days, you know,
978
00:48:12,660 --> 00:48:14,660
like thinking about needing community.
979
00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:17,660
And I think that's, that's what I'm saying.
980
00:48:17,660 --> 00:48:21,660
There's just a lot of the, the other ones that are there, you know,
981
00:48:21,660 --> 00:48:23,660
I mean, I was even told once in church, like, I,
982
00:48:23,660 --> 00:48:25,660
I don't like dressing up.
983
00:48:25,660 --> 00:48:27,660
I like being comfortable.
984
00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:32,660
So.
985
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:36,660
I own a suit because I, I was in like my cousin's wedding and that's
986
00:48:36,660 --> 00:48:38,660
the only reason why I own a suit, you know.
987
00:48:38,660 --> 00:48:41,660
And I had a guy telling me it was a friend of mine.
988
00:48:41,660 --> 00:48:44,660
And I was like, I don't know what to do with it.
989
00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:46,660
I don't know what to do with it.
990
00:48:46,660 --> 00:48:50,660
I don't know how he dresses up for God because God's worth it.
991
00:48:50,660 --> 00:48:51,660
And.
992
00:48:51,660 --> 00:48:54,660
I was joking around. I was like, Oh, I didn't know that God had the
993
00:48:54,660 --> 00:48:55,660
queer eye.
994
00:48:55,660 --> 00:48:58,660
You know, like for that, like the nice, you know,
995
00:48:58,660 --> 00:49:02,660
and he got, he did not like that one at all.
996
00:49:02,660 --> 00:49:05,660
And I'm like, well, I think, I think God's more concerned with the
997
00:49:05,660 --> 00:49:08,660
outward appearance or with the inward appearance than the outward.
998
00:49:08,660 --> 00:49:11,660
But he was like, I'm not going to be in my sweater.
999
00:49:11,660 --> 00:49:13,660
You know, I wasn't coming in as a bum,
1000
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:16,660
but I wasn't coming in in the, in the three piece suit and everything,
1001
00:49:16,660 --> 00:49:19,660
you know, so that I, so that God can look at me and be like,
1002
00:49:19,660 --> 00:49:22,660
this dude knows fashion. All right. He's, he's a good one. You know,
1003
00:49:22,660 --> 00:49:27,660
but that's what it's been turned into.
1004
00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:28,660
And.
1005
00:49:28,660 --> 00:49:33,660
If you, if you think or say anything against that.
1006
00:49:33,660 --> 00:49:38,660
I think that my, my.
1007
00:49:38,660 --> 00:49:42,660
Unbelief should not be a challenge to their belief.
1008
00:49:42,660 --> 00:49:43,660
Yes.
1009
00:49:43,660 --> 00:49:45,660
When it, it becomes that to me,
1010
00:49:45,660 --> 00:49:48,660
it tells me that their belief is, is again,
1011
00:49:48,660 --> 00:49:51,660
another Bible reference is built on sinking sand.
1012
00:49:51,660 --> 00:49:55,660
You know, it's not something that is.
1013
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:59,660
It's not the foundation. I mean, Jesus talked about, you know,
1014
00:49:59,660 --> 00:50:02,660
building the church on the rock, you know, the foundation of everything.
1015
00:50:02,660 --> 00:50:05,660
Well, rock is unmovable.
1016
00:50:05,660 --> 00:50:09,660
And me saying like, no, I don't believe this is triggering you to the point
1017
00:50:09,660 --> 00:50:14,660
where you're having like an aneurysm, like something's wrong.
1018
00:50:14,660 --> 00:50:18,660
I'm laughing because when you said that.
1019
00:50:18,660 --> 00:50:22,660
Like I grew up with salty, the singing songbook.
1020
00:50:22,660 --> 00:50:24,660
He is right.
1021
00:50:24,660 --> 00:50:27,660
I haven't heard that in so long.
1022
00:50:27,660 --> 00:50:32,660
All like this salty place.
1023
00:50:32,660 --> 00:50:35,660
And there was a song I love that was like,
1024
00:50:35,660 --> 00:50:38,660
don't build your house on the sandy land.
1025
00:50:38,660 --> 00:50:41,660
Yeah. Yeah.
1026
00:50:41,660 --> 00:50:45,660
Salty the singing songbook song in my head.
1027
00:50:45,660 --> 00:50:48,660
Dude, do you remember Father Abraham song?
1028
00:50:48,660 --> 00:50:49,660
Oh yeah, totally.
1029
00:50:49,660 --> 00:50:51,660
Father Abraham.
1030
00:50:51,660 --> 00:50:54,660
So we, my family, like we got a group text.
1031
00:50:54,660 --> 00:50:59,660
And somebody put out, oh, we're doing a father's day slash
1032
00:50:59,660 --> 00:51:01,660
my daughter McCarrie's birthday.
1033
00:51:01,660 --> 00:51:04,660
So I think it was my dad or something that put like, oh,
1034
00:51:04,660 --> 00:51:05,660
Father McCarrie.
1035
00:51:05,660 --> 00:51:07,660
And then that just kicked that song off my head.
1036
00:51:07,660 --> 00:51:09,660
So I typed in like the first line.
1037
00:51:09,660 --> 00:51:12,660
I was like, Father Abraham had many sons and many sons had Father Abraham.
1038
00:51:12,660 --> 00:51:16,660
And then my younger daughter Ruth just puts in right arm.
1039
00:51:16,660 --> 00:51:20,660
We just kept the whole thing going.
1040
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:21,660
Oh man.
1041
00:51:21,660 --> 00:51:24,660
I love that song.
1042
00:51:24,660 --> 00:51:25,660
I love that song.
1043
00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:29,660
Salty the singing song.
1044
00:51:29,660 --> 00:51:32,660
But before Salty came in my head,
1045
00:51:32,660 --> 00:51:35,660
I was having another thought and it's kind of what you said too is
1046
00:51:35,660 --> 00:51:39,660
that.
1047
00:51:39,660 --> 00:51:41,660
My platform.
1048
00:51:41,660 --> 00:51:45,660
I say what I want to say or in an argument, I say what I want to
1049
00:51:45,660 --> 00:51:48,660
say.
1050
00:51:48,660 --> 00:51:51,660
I think that's the difference.
1051
00:51:51,660 --> 00:51:54,660
It's their responsibility, whether they want to pick it up or not
1052
00:51:54,660 --> 00:51:56,660
pick it up or pick part of it up.
1053
00:51:56,660 --> 00:52:00,660
But as soon as I engage in, I want to change your mind.
1054
00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:05,660
That's when things get sticky.
1055
00:52:05,660 --> 00:52:08,660
Even if that's on the comment thread, no matter where it is.
1056
00:52:08,660 --> 00:52:11,660
I think that's the difference that I was really seeking.
1057
00:52:11,660 --> 00:52:16,660
And this investigation is.
1058
00:52:16,660 --> 00:52:19,660
I'm not giving the other person the right to say what I want to say.
1059
00:52:19,660 --> 00:52:22,660
I'm not giving the other person the right to say what I want to say.
1060
00:52:22,660 --> 00:52:25,660
I'm not giving the other person the right to say what I want to say.
1061
00:52:25,660 --> 00:52:26,660
And all my feelings.
1062
00:52:26,660 --> 00:52:29,660
But as soon as I notice that feeling of like, I'm right, you're wrong.
1063
00:52:29,660 --> 00:52:31,660
Or I have to change your mind because.
1064
00:52:31,660 --> 00:52:33,660
It's show you the error of your ways.
1065
00:52:33,660 --> 00:52:34,660
Then I'm in arrogance.
1066
00:52:34,660 --> 00:52:37,660
Right. And I'm not giving the other person.
1067
00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:41,660
I'm not holding them as able to make their own mind based on just
1068
00:52:41,660 --> 00:52:42,660
the information that I've provided.
1069
00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:43,660
That's what I believe.
1070
00:52:43,660 --> 00:52:46,660
I am starting to think I'm right and you're wrong.
1071
00:52:46,660 --> 00:52:48,660
And I have to correct you.
1072
00:52:48,660 --> 00:52:51,660
That's a red flag.
1073
00:52:51,660 --> 00:52:52,660
Yeah.
1074
00:52:52,660 --> 00:52:57,660
Because that's when I'm no longer holding the other person is able.
1075
00:52:57,660 --> 00:53:00,660
To look at what I'm saying and make their own decision.
1076
00:53:00,660 --> 00:53:02,660
Right. I have an agenda for them.
1077
00:53:02,660 --> 00:53:05,660
That is so, I think that is like.
1078
00:53:05,660 --> 00:53:09,660
Out of everything that that right there is the piece for today.
1079
00:53:09,660 --> 00:53:11,660
Yes, I agree. That's what I was looking for is like,
1080
00:53:11,660 --> 00:53:14,660
what's the difference here? Like I want to say what I want to say.
1081
00:53:14,660 --> 00:53:17,660
But I don't want to get into this.
1082
00:53:17,660 --> 00:53:19,660
I'm right. You're wrong. Right.
1083
00:53:19,660 --> 00:53:22,660
So I have to recognize it in me when it comes up.
1084
00:53:22,660 --> 00:53:25,660
Yeah. And that's where I came up with like that whole Scooby-Doo thing.
1085
00:53:25,660 --> 00:53:27,660
Like, like ask off because then.
1086
00:53:27,660 --> 00:53:30,660
Like, because like, like you said, when I'm doing it for that means
1087
00:53:30,660 --> 00:53:31,660
I'm doing it for me.
1088
00:53:31,660 --> 00:53:32,660
Yes.
1089
00:53:32,660 --> 00:53:35,660
You know, but like going back to like the Jane Goodall, like,
1090
00:53:35,660 --> 00:53:38,660
if you want to change someone's mind, you got to touch their heart.
1091
00:53:38,660 --> 00:53:41,660
And sometimes, so to me, that means leading with love.
1092
00:53:41,660 --> 00:53:45,660
And sometimes that means acceptance, accepting the fact that.
1093
00:53:45,660 --> 00:53:50,660
They don't, they don't agree. Like I had, I had two, two people.
1094
00:53:50,660 --> 00:53:55,660
Commenting the used to comment constantly on my stuff.
1095
00:53:55,660 --> 00:53:57,660
I don't believe they follow me anymore.
1096
00:53:57,660 --> 00:53:59,660
Um,
1097
00:53:59,660 --> 00:54:04,660
But they were always telling me how I was wrong.
1098
00:54:04,660 --> 00:54:08,660
You know, even one of them, when we had Diana and she said, there is no destination
1099
00:54:08,660 --> 00:54:10,660
to grief.
1100
00:54:10,660 --> 00:54:12,660
She came out. She's like, that's wrong.
1101
00:54:12,660 --> 00:54:14,660
The destination is acceptance.
1102
00:54:14,660 --> 00:54:18,660
So, and this happened like multiple times with this one person where I would
1103
00:54:18,660 --> 00:54:23,660
then make a video off that. And I said, yes, we want to get to acceptance,
1104
00:54:23,660 --> 00:54:25,660
but that grief never goes away.
1105
00:54:25,660 --> 00:54:28,660
It may become less in time, but then there's going to be times like the,
1106
00:54:28,660 --> 00:54:31,660
the whole analogy with the ocean where those waves are going to come in and
1107
00:54:31,660 --> 00:54:32,660
just smash you.
1108
00:54:32,660 --> 00:54:35,660
And then they're going to be like, I'm not going to do that.
1109
00:54:35,660 --> 00:54:36,660
I'm not going to do that.
1110
00:54:36,660 --> 00:54:38,660
I'm not going to do that.
1111
00:54:38,660 --> 00:54:40,660
And they can be 10, 20 years down the road.
1112
00:54:40,660 --> 00:54:42,660
And then she completely agrees with that.
1113
00:54:42,660 --> 00:54:46,660
You know, so she's saying I'm wrong, but then she's agreeing with what I'm
1114
00:54:46,660 --> 00:54:47,660
saying.
1115
00:54:47,660 --> 00:54:52,660
You know, and, and there were so many times like I wanted to just.
1116
00:54:52,660 --> 00:54:55,660
You know, the, and my angry brain was like, you know,
1117
00:54:55,660 --> 00:54:56,660
just put out something like, dude.
1118
00:54:56,660 --> 00:54:59,660
If you're going to just willfully live a step above stupid,
1119
00:54:59,660 --> 00:55:02,660
then it's going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like,
1120
00:55:02,660 --> 00:55:03,660
what the hell is this?
1121
00:55:03,660 --> 00:55:05,660
I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,
1122
00:55:05,660 --> 00:55:06,660
you know, that's who you are.
1123
00:55:06,660 --> 00:55:07,660
That becomes about me.
1124
00:55:07,660 --> 00:55:08,660
Right.
1125
00:55:08,660 --> 00:55:09,660
You know,
1126
00:55:09,660 --> 00:55:10,660
in judgment.
1127
00:55:10,660 --> 00:55:12,660
Right. You're an arrogance. You're it. That's who you,
1128
00:55:12,660 --> 00:55:14,660
you're putting those things in the side of your heart.
1129
00:55:14,660 --> 00:55:17,660
I'm putting myself above her because like, oh, I'm smarter.
1130
00:55:17,660 --> 00:55:19,660
I'm wiser, whatever it is.
1131
00:55:19,660 --> 00:55:23,660
You know, but when I react with,
1132
00:55:23,660 --> 00:55:24,660
I'm still going to be loving because.
1133
00:55:24,660 --> 00:55:26,660
I kind of feel.
1134
00:55:26,660 --> 00:55:30,660
It's like, you know, like, you know,
1135
00:55:30,660 --> 00:55:34,660
I kind of feel like I'm the best person that that said like.
1136
00:55:34,660 --> 00:55:36,660
For some people, changes impossible and I had.
1137
00:55:36,660 --> 00:55:37,660
I had.
1138
00:55:37,660 --> 00:55:39,660
Responded to her and said, even if they want.
1139
00:55:39,660 --> 00:55:42,660
To change, even if they notice.
1140
00:55:42,660 --> 00:55:44,660
That change is needed and they want to work on change.
1141
00:55:44,660 --> 00:55:46,660
No, can't, they can't do it.
1142
00:55:46,660 --> 00:55:50,660
It's impossible.
1143
00:55:50,660 --> 00:55:53,660
And everything that I'm learning about the brain and granted,
1144
00:55:53,660 --> 00:55:55,660
I'm learning from my house. Not.
1145
00:55:55,660 --> 00:56:00,660
in school, but the neuroplasticity of the brain is amazing.
1146
00:56:02,100 --> 00:56:02,940
Yeah.
1147
00:56:02,940 --> 00:56:07,420
And so I truly believe changes is able, you know,
1148
00:56:07,420 --> 00:56:09,740
or all able to change.
1149
00:56:13,140 --> 00:56:17,840
And so when I try to get that across
1150
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:22,840
with as much love and understanding and kindness
1151
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:27,140
as I possibly can with strength in there.
1152
00:56:27,140 --> 00:56:29,940
Because I think one of the things that has happened
1153
00:56:29,940 --> 00:56:32,780
is kindness and empathy and all that stuff
1154
00:56:32,780 --> 00:56:34,860
has been turned into weakness.
1155
00:56:34,860 --> 00:56:37,220
You know, like this whole thing like a nice guy,
1156
00:56:37,220 --> 00:56:40,620
being a nice guy, being nice is a trauma response.
1157
00:56:40,620 --> 00:56:43,300
And I'm like, what the fuck?
1158
00:56:43,300 --> 00:56:44,140
Yeah.
1159
00:56:44,140 --> 00:56:46,060
Why is being nice a trauma?
1160
00:56:46,060 --> 00:56:47,780
Well, it's because you learned
1161
00:56:47,780 --> 00:56:49,540
that you have to people please.
1162
00:56:49,540 --> 00:56:54,540
I mean, I'm not like, I can be nice.
1163
00:56:55,020 --> 00:56:55,860
All right.
1164
00:56:55,860 --> 00:57:00,220
So there was a lady, so I talk about this sometimes
1165
00:57:00,220 --> 00:57:03,340
like as a professional pool player,
1166
00:57:04,620 --> 00:57:06,740
which I just play at Friday nights
1167
00:57:06,740 --> 00:57:08,460
with a bunch of other people that,
1168
00:57:08,460 --> 00:57:09,720
I mean, there's a lot of people that are good,
1169
00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:11,140
but most of us suck.
1170
00:57:11,140 --> 00:57:13,820
And I'm definitely in that category,
1171
00:57:13,820 --> 00:57:18,460
but this lady was just having an off day.
1172
00:57:18,460 --> 00:57:23,460
And was a very talkative, kind of being a little mean.
1173
00:57:25,140 --> 00:57:30,140
And I just kept going at her with kindness.
1174
00:57:30,340 --> 00:57:32,140
So we have to compare the scores.
1175
00:57:32,140 --> 00:57:34,260
And one time she like snapped at me and I'm like,
1176
00:57:34,260 --> 00:57:35,700
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
1177
00:57:35,700 --> 00:57:36,740
You know, like joking around,
1178
00:57:36,740 --> 00:57:37,980
like I'm a scared little kid.
1179
00:57:37,980 --> 00:57:40,100
And then she stopped.
1180
00:57:40,100 --> 00:57:42,020
My intent was her to laugh a little bit.
1181
00:57:42,020 --> 00:57:49,020
And she smiled, but she said, I lost my father this week.
1182
00:57:49,020 --> 00:57:50,020
And I'm like, oh my God, dude.
1183
00:57:50,020 --> 00:57:51,780
So I got up, I gave her a hug.
1184
00:57:51,780 --> 00:57:56,780
She's now, every time I see her, like we talk, you know,
1185
00:57:58,340 --> 00:58:00,820
I've played her a couple more times and we joke around.
1186
00:58:00,820 --> 00:58:03,340
Like when I went up to play her, she's like,
1187
00:58:03,340 --> 00:58:07,420
oh, no, how, you know, and then laughing about it and stuff.
1188
00:58:07,420 --> 00:58:08,860
So we have now a good time.
1189
00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:12,460
So you never know, like when we lead with the heart
1190
00:58:12,460 --> 00:58:16,220
to touch the heart instead of to change the logical brain,
1191
00:58:16,220 --> 00:58:18,620
like that's where the magic happens.
1192
00:58:19,940 --> 00:58:21,860
Okay, I have a big question for you.
1193
00:58:21,860 --> 00:58:26,860
So that is also my experience in one-on-one small groups,
1194
00:58:27,620 --> 00:58:29,860
100%, that is my experience.
1195
00:58:32,020 --> 00:58:37,020
On a huge level, is that possible?
1196
00:58:37,140 --> 00:58:37,980
Right?
1197
00:58:37,980 --> 00:58:39,380
And you look all throughout history
1198
00:58:39,380 --> 00:58:41,700
and you see movements that were based in love
1199
00:58:41,700 --> 00:58:43,460
and kindness and acceptance.
1200
00:58:44,660 --> 00:58:47,060
And most of the time those people get assassinated.
1201
00:58:48,540 --> 00:58:49,860
Most of the time we just kill those people
1202
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,740
if they start talking about love.
1203
00:58:51,740 --> 00:58:56,740
But could the world on a mass scale become a better place,
1204
00:58:58,780 --> 00:59:03,260
not fighting tyranny, but through love?
1205
00:59:03,260 --> 00:59:05,020
Like, I'm not using the right words,
1206
00:59:05,020 --> 00:59:06,500
but do you understand what I'm saying?
1207
00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:08,180
Like, can you upscale that?
1208
00:59:08,180 --> 00:59:11,500
And does it really work at these large scales?
1209
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:15,260
Or do you have to stand up for injustice?
1210
00:59:18,460 --> 00:59:22,060
So I absolutely love that question
1211
00:59:22,060 --> 00:59:26,860
because this is something that I've just recently said,
1212
00:59:26,860 --> 00:59:28,260
like sort of solidified like,
1213
00:59:28,260 --> 00:59:29,660
no, this is what I believe.
1214
00:59:29,660 --> 00:59:34,660
I believe the answer is yes.
1215
00:59:36,540 --> 00:59:41,540
However, I do not believe we're gonna change anything by,
1216
00:59:43,740 --> 00:59:45,420
and I got in trouble for saying this before,
1217
00:59:45,420 --> 00:59:47,500
but I don't think anything's gonna change
1218
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:50,820
by writing our congressmen or our senators,
1219
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:57,380
by doing the things that we kind of do
1220
00:59:57,380 --> 01:00:01,020
to feel like we're doing something,
1221
01:00:01,020 --> 01:00:04,580
but that doesn't really change anything.
1222
01:00:04,580 --> 01:00:05,420
Right.
1223
01:00:08,340 --> 01:00:09,540
For instance, like there's people,
1224
01:00:09,540 --> 01:00:11,940
like all the protests for Palestine and stuff,
1225
01:00:11,940 --> 01:00:13,620
that's great, great.
1226
01:00:13,620 --> 01:00:16,300
But you know what would be, in my opinion, better.
1227
01:00:16,300 --> 01:00:21,180
And I understand not everybody has the ability to do this,
1228
01:00:21,180 --> 01:00:22,940
but go there.
1229
01:00:22,940 --> 01:00:27,940
And work as a humanitarian person,
1230
01:00:28,700 --> 01:00:30,180
put some action behind the thing.
1231
01:00:30,180 --> 01:00:32,980
I think SNL did a thing like where people were going
1232
01:00:32,980 --> 01:00:35,740
to a protest and they were stopping at a taco truck.
1233
01:00:37,540 --> 01:00:38,660
And like before that,
1234
01:00:38,660 --> 01:00:41,860
but people gotta do what's right for them.
1235
01:00:41,860 --> 01:00:46,340
But I think the fight is not out that way.
1236
01:00:46,340 --> 01:00:48,620
I think the fight is this way.
1237
01:00:48,620 --> 01:00:53,300
So I think that I can help be a change in the world,
1238
01:00:53,300 --> 01:00:56,860
not by telling everybody what I think
1239
01:00:56,860 --> 01:01:01,860
and what I believe and what's right and what's wrong,
1240
01:01:02,060 --> 01:01:05,900
but by making sure that I am the brightest light
1241
01:01:05,900 --> 01:01:09,580
that I possibly can be connecting with other people.
1242
01:01:09,580 --> 01:01:12,180
Like, I mean, the way that we found each other,
1243
01:01:14,340 --> 01:01:18,500
which then like Fridays, we came out,
1244
01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:19,540
I was exhausted.
1245
01:01:19,540 --> 01:01:21,180
I am like, why'd awake right now?
1246
01:01:21,180 --> 01:01:23,460
I am so full of energy, dude.
1247
01:01:23,460 --> 01:01:26,780
Because that's what you do, like fire feeds itself.
1248
01:01:28,980 --> 01:01:31,740
And that's how it'll change.
1249
01:01:31,740 --> 01:01:36,740
So for me, my message of love, consciousness,
1250
01:01:37,740 --> 01:01:39,740
being fucking nice to people
1251
01:01:39,740 --> 01:01:41,900
because it's not a trauma response,
1252
01:01:42,780 --> 01:01:45,660
not allowing ourselves to be walked on
1253
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:50,180
or if you see someone else being treated horribly,
1254
01:01:50,180 --> 01:01:52,460
not saying something.
1255
01:01:52,460 --> 01:01:55,900
I mean, I'm like 48,
1256
01:01:55,900 --> 01:02:00,500
and like the proudest moment of my 48th year
1257
01:02:00,500 --> 01:02:02,740
was I got into a fight.
1258
01:02:03,980 --> 01:02:08,460
It was at pool and it was some other people,
1259
01:02:08,460 --> 01:02:11,860
but I was trying to break it up or just separate people,
1260
01:02:11,860 --> 01:02:14,620
but it was like, the fight or flight
1261
01:02:14,620 --> 01:02:16,140
had taken over these guys and they were like,
1262
01:02:16,140 --> 01:02:18,060
I don't care if I get arrested and go to jail,
1263
01:02:18,060 --> 01:02:19,500
I'll get out of jail and come to your house
1264
01:02:19,500 --> 01:02:20,500
and kick your ass again.
1265
01:02:20,500 --> 01:02:23,180
And I'm just like, dude, you guys think you're tough,
1266
01:02:23,180 --> 01:02:25,260
but you're just little chihuahuas like shaking.
1267
01:02:25,260 --> 01:02:28,580
You know, but you think you're tough.
1268
01:02:28,580 --> 01:02:31,060
And then there's one dude grabbed a girl,
1269
01:02:31,060 --> 01:02:32,060
grabbed a girl's wrist.
1270
01:02:32,060 --> 01:02:35,500
And when I heard that, I was like, we're done.
1271
01:02:35,500 --> 01:02:40,500
And I just, I take karate online.
1272
01:02:41,220 --> 01:02:43,380
So my online set, I'm joking.
1273
01:02:43,380 --> 01:02:44,980
That's from the office, remember?
1274
01:02:45,980 --> 01:02:47,380
My online sensei.
1275
01:02:49,500 --> 01:02:52,540
But just from watching years and years at WWE,
1276
01:02:52,540 --> 01:02:56,820
like I hip-tossed the dude and put him on the ground.
1277
01:02:56,820 --> 01:02:59,900
And then I was on top of him and then I was like, we're done.
1278
01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:00,900
I wasn't angry.
1279
01:03:00,900 --> 01:03:01,740
I wasn't mad.
1280
01:03:01,740 --> 01:03:02,580
I was like, we're done.
1281
01:03:02,580 --> 01:03:04,460
And that stopped the altercation.
1282
01:03:05,620 --> 01:03:10,620
Now, unfortunately, the next day, I couldn't move.
1283
01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,620
Like the right side of my body hurts so bad.
1284
01:03:13,620 --> 01:03:16,060
I'm too old for this stuff, you know?
1285
01:03:16,060 --> 01:03:21,060
But so it's having a level of standing up.
1286
01:03:21,060 --> 01:03:24,300
Yeah, there is a point of action
1287
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:26,700
where you stand up for injustice.
1288
01:03:27,820 --> 01:03:32,820
But then when the threat is gone, you back back down,
1289
01:03:33,660 --> 01:03:36,460
you don't keep pursuing that person, right?
1290
01:03:36,460 --> 01:03:39,980
Or that group of people, whatever it is that's happening.
1291
01:03:39,980 --> 01:03:44,020
Yeah, there's no need.
1292
01:03:44,020 --> 01:03:47,220
Sadguru in one of his books wrote this story
1293
01:03:47,220 --> 01:03:51,180
about the Buddha when he was one of his past incarnations,
1294
01:03:51,180 --> 01:03:52,660
he was a bear.
1295
01:03:52,660 --> 01:03:55,300
And so the hunter was digging a hole, a trap,
1296
01:03:55,300 --> 01:03:56,860
and he fell in it, got stuck.
1297
01:03:56,860 --> 01:03:58,660
And this bear comes along and the hunter's like,
1298
01:03:58,660 --> 01:04:02,100
can you get me out of here?
1299
01:04:02,100 --> 01:04:02,940
I'm gonna die in here.
1300
01:04:02,940 --> 01:04:06,500
So the bear starts rolling all these massive boulders
1301
01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:10,060
into the hole and the guy's able to climb out.
1302
01:04:10,060 --> 01:04:12,820
And the guy said, I'm lost, can you lead me out of the woods?
1303
01:04:12,820 --> 01:04:15,980
And the Buddha bear was like, yeah,
1304
01:04:15,980 --> 01:04:17,540
but I'm tired from moving all these boulders.
1305
01:04:17,540 --> 01:04:21,580
Let me sleep for a minute and then I'll bring you out.
1306
01:04:21,580 --> 01:04:25,660
So while the bear was sleeping, the hunter decided,
1307
01:04:25,660 --> 01:04:29,740
I can find my way out eventually with nothing
1308
01:04:29,740 --> 01:04:33,140
or have this bear lead me out and I'll have nothing
1309
01:04:33,140 --> 01:04:37,500
or I can find my way out, kill the bear and have the pelt.
1310
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:41,500
So he picked up the biggest rock that he could lift.
1311
01:04:42,580 --> 01:04:44,100
And while the Buddha bear was sleeping,
1312
01:04:44,100 --> 01:04:45,500
he smashed it on his head.
1313
01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:50,580
And the Buddha bear woke up, got up on the back paws,
1314
01:04:50,580 --> 01:04:53,420
you know, like standing like 10 feet tall.
1315
01:04:53,420 --> 01:04:54,820
And the guy was like, don't kill me,
1316
01:04:54,820 --> 01:04:56,700
don't kill me, don't kill me.
1317
01:04:56,700 --> 01:04:58,620
And the bear just looked at him and he said,
1318
01:04:58,620 --> 01:05:00,460
you already got your punishment, man.
1319
01:05:00,460 --> 01:05:03,020
And he just turned around and walked into the woods
1320
01:05:03,020 --> 01:05:04,540
and left the guy there.
1321
01:05:04,540 --> 01:05:09,140
And the punishment was the guy to do that,
1322
01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:13,820
to act in that way, to try to take the bear's life
1323
01:05:13,820 --> 01:05:16,860
when he wasn't looking, almost like a sucker punch type thing.
1324
01:05:18,060 --> 01:05:20,060
Internally, that guy's miserable.
1325
01:05:21,260 --> 01:05:25,260
I truly believe that we will not change the world
1326
01:05:25,260 --> 01:05:28,340
because the powers that be are too,
1327
01:05:28,340 --> 01:05:31,740
the hold is too strong,
1328
01:05:31,740 --> 01:05:35,700
that we will not change the world by external means.
1329
01:05:35,700 --> 01:05:40,380
But we can change the world by changing our internal state
1330
01:05:40,380 --> 01:05:42,620
and connecting that with more people.
1331
01:05:42,620 --> 01:05:43,460
Yeah.
1332
01:05:48,020 --> 01:05:50,900
What I thought of when you said that was,
1333
01:05:50,900 --> 01:05:55,100
you were talking about shining bright earlier,
1334
01:05:55,100 --> 01:05:59,460
and it's almost like if I shine at my brightest,
1335
01:05:59,460 --> 01:06:03,900
that's when all the darkness becomes more apparent around me.
1336
01:06:03,900 --> 01:06:06,420
Because that's what the bear did, right?
1337
01:06:06,420 --> 01:06:08,420
When I shine it, when I am myself,
1338
01:06:08,420 --> 01:06:10,700
you have to sit with yourself.
1339
01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:11,540
Yeah.
1340
01:06:12,340 --> 01:06:14,340
Yeah, and I think that's powerful.
1341
01:06:14,340 --> 01:06:18,580
Yeah, I was talking online with some folks about,
1342
01:06:18,580 --> 01:06:21,180
you know, world peace and how to change the world and stuff.
1343
01:06:21,180 --> 01:06:24,660
And someone said, kind of similar what you said, right?
1344
01:06:24,660 --> 01:06:29,660
Like, you can build islands of peace, love, compassion,
1345
01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:32,660
and then the hope is eventually those islands get bigger
1346
01:06:32,660 --> 01:06:35,860
and then maybe they connect and then, right,
1347
01:06:35,860 --> 01:06:38,660
but that's growing it from inside out,
1348
01:06:38,660 --> 01:06:42,940
versus trying to dismantle this system that is so broken,
1349
01:06:42,940 --> 01:06:46,380
that has such a strong hold on the way things are right now.
1350
01:06:47,700 --> 01:06:50,220
Have you ever heard of, I don't know what it's called,
1351
01:06:50,220 --> 01:06:51,820
I call it the 1% rule.
1352
01:06:51,820 --> 01:06:52,660
I don't know.
1353
01:06:57,380 --> 01:06:59,420
Don't take any of this as like fact,
1354
01:06:59,420 --> 01:07:02,020
this is all gonna be like, you know,
1355
01:07:02,020 --> 01:07:04,540
paraphrased from my memory,
1356
01:07:04,540 --> 01:07:07,420
but I believe what they were trying to do
1357
01:07:07,420 --> 01:07:08,860
is they were trying to cool,
1358
01:07:08,860 --> 01:07:12,260
scientists were trying to cool helium down to absolute zero.
1359
01:07:14,060 --> 01:07:18,180
Like zero Kelvin, I guess, like they would use.
1360
01:07:18,180 --> 01:07:19,900
And while they were doing it,
1361
01:07:19,900 --> 01:07:22,620
they were trying to get it out to absolute zero,
1362
01:07:22,620 --> 01:07:26,380
so that's not to 1% above that absolute zero.
1363
01:07:26,380 --> 01:07:28,660
Something magical happened.
1364
01:07:28,660 --> 01:07:31,060
All of the atoms in that helium
1365
01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:36,500
became like symmetrically, all lined up beautifully,
1366
01:07:37,700 --> 01:07:41,940
you know, like in neat rows and columns,
1367
01:07:41,940 --> 01:07:45,300
like everything was just perfectly in line.
1368
01:07:45,300 --> 01:07:46,860
And that's how they became,
1369
01:07:46,860 --> 01:07:50,100
I believe, I hope I'm not butchering it too much,
1370
01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:54,420
but then like the consciousness people took that
1371
01:07:54,420 --> 01:07:56,140
and started looking at,
1372
01:07:56,140 --> 01:07:58,460
if we can raise the consciousness of 1%
1373
01:07:58,460 --> 01:08:01,300
of the people of an area, what would that do?
1374
01:08:01,300 --> 01:08:02,740
And they had done some studies,
1375
01:08:02,740 --> 01:08:04,380
and I forget the cities they did it in,
1376
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,260
but you know, where they had people that, you know,
1377
01:08:07,260 --> 01:08:10,020
would join them and getting like a 1%
1378
01:08:10,020 --> 01:08:13,420
of the population of the city to start meditating,
1379
01:08:13,420 --> 01:08:16,380
focusing on gratitude, focusing on love,
1380
01:08:16,380 --> 01:08:19,340
focusing on just positive things, you know?
1381
01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:21,380
And again, not living, walking around with our heads
1382
01:08:21,380 --> 01:08:23,620
in the clouds, woo woo, you know, if something bad happens,
1383
01:08:23,620 --> 01:08:25,140
yeah, that sucks, you know,
1384
01:08:25,140 --> 01:08:27,380
but living the majority of our lives
1385
01:08:27,380 --> 01:08:29,700
in those positive states.
1386
01:08:29,700 --> 01:08:31,900
And what they found was crime went down,
1387
01:08:33,260 --> 01:08:38,260
there was so many beneficial responses
1388
01:08:40,220 --> 01:08:42,260
to 1% of the population of a city,
1389
01:08:42,260 --> 01:08:45,340
not doing anything except raising their level
1390
01:08:45,340 --> 01:08:46,900
of consciousness.
1391
01:08:46,900 --> 01:08:49,900
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I know there's been tons
1392
01:08:49,900 --> 01:08:53,260
of experiments with, you know, the random number generators
1393
01:08:53,260 --> 01:08:54,580
and different types of things like that,
1394
01:08:54,580 --> 01:08:57,340
where consciousness can change that.
1395
01:08:57,340 --> 01:09:00,180
I also really love the idea of,
1396
01:09:00,180 --> 01:09:05,020
and this is sort of like a nerdy D&D sort of way of thinking
1397
01:09:05,020 --> 01:09:08,900
that there's different roles, like it's good
1398
01:09:08,900 --> 01:09:11,060
that there is warriors out there,
1399
01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:14,220
like fighting in Congress and trying to change laws,
1400
01:09:14,220 --> 01:09:18,380
and this and that, but the fact that I'm not a warrior
1401
01:09:18,380 --> 01:09:20,820
doesn't make me less than, right?
1402
01:09:20,820 --> 01:09:25,020
That my role as, you know, being home and focusing
1403
01:09:25,020 --> 01:09:27,140
on my own consciousness or being back at camp,
1404
01:09:27,140 --> 01:09:28,740
making people food or being right,
1405
01:09:28,740 --> 01:09:31,020
that we all have roles to play
1406
01:09:31,020 --> 01:09:36,020
and they're all equal needed necessary roles, right?
1407
01:09:36,620 --> 01:09:39,740
I think that's another valuable thing,
1408
01:09:39,740 --> 01:09:44,740
because I know, you know, I've such a huge heart for humanity
1409
01:09:44,740 --> 01:09:47,380
and humans and I so wanna see the world
1410
01:09:47,380 --> 01:09:52,380
a more compassionate place, but I am not a warrior, right?
1411
01:09:53,100 --> 01:09:58,100
And sometimes I think I get confused about
1412
01:09:58,100 --> 01:10:03,100
how to own my own warriorship in the ways that are true to me.
1413
01:10:03,100 --> 01:10:08,100
Like what is authentic warriorship look like for Mindy?
1414
01:10:09,780 --> 01:10:14,780
Yeah, even that word, I got to the point like where
1415
01:10:15,740 --> 01:10:18,740
I got so tired of hearing the word warrior,
1416
01:10:19,740 --> 01:10:22,580
because it was one of those words like,
1417
01:10:22,580 --> 01:10:27,580
they romanticized war, and then romanticized the warrior.
1418
01:10:27,580 --> 01:10:28,420
Yeah.
1419
01:10:29,660 --> 01:10:33,300
And then romanticized the warrior, you know,
1420
01:10:33,300 --> 01:10:36,620
so all these movies that we see, you know, like.
1421
01:10:36,620 --> 01:10:39,940
Yeah, it's hugely romanticized, yeah.
1422
01:10:39,940 --> 01:10:44,940
And it's a lot different from watching a war movie.
1423
01:10:46,340 --> 01:10:49,140
Well, you've actually, yeah, been in it, so you know.
1424
01:10:49,140 --> 01:10:49,980
Like.
1425
01:10:49,980 --> 01:10:52,900
Yeah, like, like, lone survivor, you know,
1426
01:10:52,900 --> 01:10:55,220
like when I watched that movie, like,
1427
01:10:55,220 --> 01:10:57,780
I feel those stirrings again, like, oh man,
1428
01:10:57,780 --> 01:10:59,460
I loved doing that, you know,
1429
01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:02,260
and I was never in anything like that, you know,
1430
01:11:02,260 --> 01:11:07,180
but in those moments, those guys were operating off of
1431
01:11:08,140 --> 01:11:11,940
pure fear and terror.
1432
01:11:11,940 --> 01:11:13,740
And I'm not saying, like, again,
1433
01:11:13,740 --> 01:11:15,540
we think of those things as like, oh, you're weak,
1434
01:11:15,540 --> 01:11:18,740
you're afraid, no, that's what the military does.
1435
01:11:18,740 --> 01:11:20,220
That's the training that happens.
1436
01:11:20,220 --> 01:11:24,260
They train it into your automatic responses.
1437
01:11:24,260 --> 01:11:26,460
So that you can be feeling that stuff,
1438
01:11:26,460 --> 01:11:29,900
compartmentalize it and still get the job done.
1439
01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:32,060
But throwing yourself off mountains
1440
01:11:32,060 --> 01:11:35,180
and getting shot 20 times and making it through.
1441
01:11:35,180 --> 01:11:38,740
Yeah, that's great, but it's gonna leave scars.
1442
01:11:38,740 --> 01:11:42,740
It's not just gonna be a thing of, like, you know,
1443
01:11:42,740 --> 01:11:44,980
once it's done, like, yeah, I'm proud,
1444
01:11:44,980 --> 01:11:47,420
it's pretty cool, you know, I'm a warrior, you know,
1445
01:11:47,420 --> 01:11:50,900
and then now you have courses for warriors, you know,
1446
01:11:50,900 --> 01:11:53,460
so if you're like, you're a businessman, you know,
1447
01:11:53,460 --> 01:11:55,620
that the only time you step on grass
1448
01:11:55,620 --> 01:11:56,740
or you're out in the woods is like,
1449
01:11:56,740 --> 01:11:58,260
when you go to Central Park or something,
1450
01:11:58,260 --> 01:12:00,060
you know, for your daily walk.
1451
01:12:00,060 --> 01:12:03,300
And but you can give me 50 grand
1452
01:12:03,300 --> 01:12:07,220
and I'll yell and scream at you for a week.
1453
01:12:07,220 --> 01:12:10,660
And then on Saturday, you'll jump out of a helicopter
1454
01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:14,420
10 feet above a lake and we're gonna call you warriors now.
1455
01:12:14,420 --> 01:12:15,260
Yeah.
1456
01:12:15,260 --> 01:12:16,820
You know, even the fact like, like,
1457
01:12:16,820 --> 01:12:17,660
Lao, Lao,
1458
01:12:18,940 --> 01:12:19,780
Azu?
1459
01:12:19,780 --> 01:12:20,940
Yeah, Azu.
1460
01:12:20,940 --> 01:12:24,100
Yeah, who wrote the art award?
1461
01:12:24,100 --> 01:12:26,020
Is that, Lao's right?
1462
01:12:26,020 --> 01:12:28,220
Yeah, so the art award, like one of the first copies
1463
01:12:28,220 --> 01:12:31,900
I got of it was all the notes were about
1464
01:12:31,900 --> 01:12:33,620
how to apply this to business.
1465
01:12:34,940 --> 01:12:37,460
I'm like, why can't business just be business?
1466
01:12:37,460 --> 01:12:38,340
Yeah.
1467
01:12:38,340 --> 01:12:40,540
And like, why do we have to be a warrior
1468
01:12:40,540 --> 01:12:42,580
in everything that we do?
1469
01:12:42,580 --> 01:12:47,580
You know, so that part, and I'm grateful for the people
1470
01:12:47,580 --> 01:12:51,300
that have that ability to be on those front lines
1471
01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:54,580
and to be in that, but I wasn't that dude.
1472
01:12:54,580 --> 01:12:56,540
You know, I did my time I got out
1473
01:12:56,540 --> 01:12:58,660
because like I was not that dude.
1474
01:13:01,980 --> 01:13:06,980
But what that does is it makes us look at our roles
1475
01:13:07,060 --> 01:13:12,060
as less than glorified warrior status.
1476
01:13:13,260 --> 01:13:14,860
Yeah.
1477
01:13:14,860 --> 01:13:19,860
And it also shows how that might have contributed
1478
01:13:21,100 --> 01:13:25,380
to people's sort of fight nature in our culture, right?
1479
01:13:25,380 --> 01:13:26,220
Yeah.
1480
01:13:26,220 --> 01:13:29,540
You feel like, I'm a warrior for my opinion, right?
1481
01:13:29,540 --> 01:13:33,020
That sort of, yeah, I think that is something
1482
01:13:33,020 --> 01:13:35,140
I'm gonna take a deeper look at.
1483
01:13:35,140 --> 01:13:37,580
Like, what do I really think about
1484
01:13:37,580 --> 01:13:39,580
that concept of being a warrior?
1485
01:13:39,580 --> 01:13:41,340
Is it necessary in the world?
1486
01:13:41,340 --> 01:13:42,340
What does it really mean?
1487
01:13:42,340 --> 01:13:43,940
Who do you have to be to be that?
1488
01:13:43,940 --> 01:13:47,540
Right, I think that's an interesting exploration.
1489
01:13:47,540 --> 01:13:49,820
Yeah, so I just thought a while ago,
1490
01:13:49,820 --> 01:13:52,140
like, you know, people that wanna be a warrior, great,
1491
01:13:52,140 --> 01:13:55,980
be a warrior, I'm fucking cosmic dude.
1492
01:13:55,980 --> 01:13:56,820
Yeah.
1493
01:13:56,820 --> 01:14:00,500
Like I wanna be so far above, and again,
1494
01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:02,420
not because like I'm so great,
1495
01:14:02,420 --> 01:14:06,540
but because that's where I find my peace.
1496
01:14:06,540 --> 01:14:10,940
One of the things with the military is when you come home,
1497
01:14:10,940 --> 01:14:13,300
no matter what your experiences are, war,
1498
01:14:13,300 --> 01:14:16,140
you know, peacetime, whatever it is,
1499
01:14:16,140 --> 01:14:17,020
or even like mine,
1500
01:14:17,020 --> 01:14:19,460
where it's kind of like in between war and peacetime,
1501
01:14:19,460 --> 01:14:24,460
you know, and you don't feel like you belong.
1502
01:14:27,140 --> 01:14:30,020
You know, the jokes, the how you carry yourself
1503
01:14:30,020 --> 01:14:35,020
is not accepted as normal and right in the civilian world.
1504
01:14:36,260 --> 01:14:39,620
So you're a civilian, but you still have
1505
01:14:39,620 --> 01:14:41,580
the military culture, so what you learn to do
1506
01:14:41,580 --> 01:14:43,900
is put a mask on and over time,
1507
01:14:43,900 --> 01:14:46,820
that mask begins to crack and you start filling it
1508
01:14:46,820 --> 01:14:49,060
with alcohol, with drugs and all this stuff
1509
01:14:49,060 --> 01:14:51,980
that just makes it worse and worse and worse and worse,
1510
01:14:51,980 --> 01:14:54,700
because you can't be you.
1511
01:14:54,700 --> 01:14:55,620
Yeah.
1512
01:14:55,620 --> 01:15:00,620
And when I think of, I am cosmic,
1513
01:15:00,620 --> 01:15:04,020
like I'm just above that floating,
1514
01:15:04,020 --> 01:15:09,020
it feels so peaceful and I get there from time to time,
1515
01:15:09,020 --> 01:15:11,500
but I wanna learn how to live in that state.
1516
01:15:11,500 --> 01:15:14,060
And I don't know, maybe that's impossible to do,
1517
01:15:15,700 --> 01:15:18,020
but that's where I wanna live.
1518
01:15:19,100 --> 01:15:20,940
Yeah, I kind of think it's,
1519
01:15:20,940 --> 01:15:22,180
I don't know if this is right or not,
1520
01:15:22,180 --> 01:15:23,860
this is just the way I'm seeing it today,
1521
01:15:23,860 --> 01:15:27,940
like, you know, we all have all these parts of us, right?
1522
01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:32,940
And living just in one part is unhealthy
1523
01:15:33,060 --> 01:15:34,580
and that's what we're talking about with warrior.
1524
01:15:34,580 --> 01:15:36,540
I'm just a warrior, right?
1525
01:15:36,540 --> 01:15:38,340
I'm just a mom, I'm just to this,
1526
01:15:38,340 --> 01:15:41,620
I'm just to that, like, instead of having all the voices,
1527
01:15:41,620 --> 01:15:43,740
oh, here's my inner child, here's my inner warrior,
1528
01:15:43,740 --> 01:15:46,180
here's my inner, whatever it is,
1529
01:15:46,180 --> 01:15:47,700
but then I think you're right,
1530
01:15:47,700 --> 01:15:49,540
there's something above that,
1531
01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:52,580
when it's just consciousness and you're like,
1532
01:15:52,580 --> 01:15:54,100
all those things are the same thing,
1533
01:15:54,100 --> 01:15:56,540
that's so funny that they're pretending to be different,
1534
01:15:56,540 --> 01:15:58,540
right, and you're everything.
1535
01:15:59,700 --> 01:16:01,340
And that's sort of what you're talking,
1536
01:16:01,340 --> 01:16:03,660
but so it makes me curious in two ways.
1537
01:16:03,660 --> 01:16:06,940
One is like, ooh, that's actually unhealthy,
1538
01:16:06,940 --> 01:16:10,620
like this full identity with warrior-ship,
1539
01:16:10,620 --> 01:16:12,660
and that's what you're describing when you come back
1540
01:16:12,660 --> 01:16:14,180
and you don't have any other parts
1541
01:16:14,180 --> 01:16:15,340
of your personality developed,
1542
01:16:15,340 --> 01:16:17,100
so you can't fit into the world.
1543
01:16:18,740 --> 01:16:21,780
But then, yeah, even after you learn to see
1544
01:16:21,780 --> 01:16:23,540
all the different parts of you,
1545
01:16:23,540 --> 01:16:26,500
then there's still this other juicy, wonderful step
1546
01:16:27,540 --> 01:16:30,500
of just, you know, being with the stars,
1547
01:16:30,500 --> 01:16:33,100
being everything and nothing all at the same time.
1548
01:16:33,100 --> 01:16:35,500
Yeah, because that's where my brain goes into this place
1549
01:16:35,500 --> 01:16:39,380
of where, okay, so there is no center of the universe.
1550
01:16:39,380 --> 01:16:43,620
The center of the universe is based off
1551
01:16:43,620 --> 01:16:46,300
of the point of observation,
1552
01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:49,380
which means I am nothing.
1553
01:16:49,380 --> 01:16:52,340
I'm just this dude in Newington, Connecticut
1554
01:16:52,340 --> 01:16:55,980
that smokes weed and talks to my phone, you know what I mean?
1555
01:16:55,980 --> 01:16:57,780
But I'm also the center of the universe,
1556
01:16:57,780 --> 01:16:59,940
I'm the most important thing here.
1557
01:16:59,940 --> 01:17:04,540
At the same time, you know, and it's in the same way for you,
1558
01:17:04,540 --> 01:17:08,020
you know, like we're nothing and everything at the same.
1559
01:17:08,020 --> 01:17:09,660
You are the center of the universe.
1560
01:17:09,660 --> 01:17:14,660
So you, like, if you decide, like, all right,
1561
01:17:15,220 --> 01:17:16,700
my purpose is like, all right,
1562
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:20,300
or what I'm gonna start doing is like to act
1563
01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:21,980
on my compassion, my care,
1564
01:17:21,980 --> 01:17:24,180
I'm gonna start working at a soup kitchen,
1565
01:17:24,180 --> 01:17:26,820
you know, on the weekends, volunteer and stuff like that.
1566
01:17:26,820 --> 01:17:30,180
Then that means since you are the observer of the universe,
1567
01:17:30,180 --> 01:17:31,700
which means you are the center of it,
1568
01:17:31,700 --> 01:17:33,540
that means to the universe,
1569
01:17:33,540 --> 01:17:36,340
that is the most important action that has ever been taken.
1570
01:17:38,020 --> 01:17:41,140
But then for somebody else that is the warrior,
1571
01:17:41,140 --> 01:17:43,940
like a legit freaking warrior.
1572
01:17:43,940 --> 01:17:44,700
Right.
1573
01:17:44,700 --> 01:17:46,860
Since they're the center of the universe,
1574
01:17:46,860 --> 01:17:47,900
at the same time,
1575
01:17:47,900 --> 01:17:51,140
what they're doing is the most important thing, you know?
1576
01:17:51,140 --> 01:17:53,700
But imagine if we can learn to live
1577
01:17:53,700 --> 01:17:56,540
where our consciousness takes these other characters
1578
01:17:56,540 --> 01:18:00,180
of our personality and kind of uses them as like a marionette,
1579
01:18:00,180 --> 01:18:01,020
you know what I mean?
1580
01:18:01,020 --> 01:18:03,060
Just kind of controls the strings and stuff,
1581
01:18:03,060 --> 01:18:05,820
but it's the consciousness that's in control
1582
01:18:05,820 --> 01:18:07,540
and not the character.
1583
01:18:07,540 --> 01:18:08,420
Yes.
1584
01:18:08,420 --> 01:18:09,260
Yeah.
1585
01:18:09,260 --> 01:18:11,900
That's I think a beautiful description of quote unquote,
1586
01:18:11,900 --> 01:18:13,260
enlightenment, right?
1587
01:18:13,260 --> 01:18:17,500
Like recognizing that this is all a play
1588
01:18:17,500 --> 01:18:19,100
and it's not really real.
1589
01:18:19,100 --> 01:18:21,060
Yeah.
1590
01:18:21,060 --> 01:18:21,980
Dude, one of the things,
1591
01:18:21,980 --> 01:18:24,300
oh man, Neil DeGrasse Tyson was talking about this,
1592
01:18:24,300 --> 01:18:27,300
like we have never interacted with the outside world.
1593
01:18:28,460 --> 01:18:31,140
Meaning like what does that mean?
1594
01:18:31,140 --> 01:18:34,220
Means that everything that we've ever done in life
1595
01:18:34,220 --> 01:18:35,540
has always been internal, right?
1596
01:18:35,540 --> 01:18:39,420
So I'm looking at this screen and seeing it,
1597
01:18:39,420 --> 01:18:42,660
but my eyes are just seeing colors and shapes up
1598
01:18:42,660 --> 01:18:46,100
and my brain is decoding that and making this reality.
1599
01:18:46,100 --> 01:18:48,940
Your voice is sending out sound waves,
1600
01:18:48,940 --> 01:18:51,020
you know, that my ears are bringing to my brain,
1601
01:18:51,020 --> 01:18:51,980
my brain's decoding.
1602
01:18:51,980 --> 01:18:53,460
And I'm like, I understand that.
1603
01:18:53,460 --> 01:18:57,220
Like if you were speaking any other language, but English,
1604
01:18:57,220 --> 01:19:00,100
I would have no freaking clue what you were saying.
1605
01:19:00,100 --> 01:19:03,060
You know, my brain isn't coded for that.
1606
01:19:03,060 --> 01:19:05,260
And then like, all right, here's,
1607
01:19:06,300 --> 01:19:07,780
I'm holding this pen.
1608
01:19:07,780 --> 01:19:10,140
I can feel it, I can feel its weight and stuff.
1609
01:19:10,140 --> 01:19:13,460
But if you look, if we had an atomic microscope
1610
01:19:13,460 --> 01:19:16,820
and we looked at the space in between my pen and the finger,
1611
01:19:16,820 --> 01:19:18,380
the pen would be floating
1612
01:19:18,380 --> 01:19:21,060
because the atoms in the pen are repelled
1613
01:19:21,060 --> 01:19:23,700
by the atoms in my finger, their different polarity.
1614
01:19:23,700 --> 01:19:27,780
So all of that feeling is the electromagnetic force
1615
01:19:27,780 --> 01:19:29,540
that's pushing in on my finger.
1616
01:19:29,540 --> 01:19:32,180
We've never interacted with the outside world.
1617
01:19:32,180 --> 01:19:34,500
Everything is internal.
1618
01:19:34,500 --> 01:19:36,940
That's where the fight is.
1619
01:19:36,940 --> 01:19:41,940
That's where the change can happen to go in.
1620
01:19:42,100 --> 01:19:45,660
Yeah, beautifully said, really well said.
1621
01:19:46,500 --> 01:19:48,580
That was a really great hour.
1622
01:19:48,580 --> 01:19:52,380
I think that was a juicy conversation.
1623
01:19:52,380 --> 01:19:55,060
I think this is like one of my favorite ones
1624
01:19:55,060 --> 01:19:58,380
because I love this stuff.
1625
01:19:58,380 --> 01:20:03,380
I wanna learn how to live in that higher state.
1626
01:20:06,180 --> 01:20:08,660
So bad, because I'll have this conversation
1627
01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:11,380
and in 20 minutes, I'll stub my toe
1628
01:20:11,380 --> 01:20:14,180
and I'll be like, my life sucks, why am I light?
1629
01:20:14,180 --> 01:20:15,660
And it'll be like, I'll be right back
1630
01:20:15,660 --> 01:20:17,860
into the cycle of fucking feelings, man.
1631
01:20:19,460 --> 01:20:21,820
Yeah, so bizarre, huh?
1632
01:20:21,820 --> 01:20:23,260
Right, yeah.
1633
01:20:23,260 --> 01:20:27,180
Cool, being a human is just so cool.
1634
01:20:27,180 --> 01:20:28,020
Yeah.
1635
01:20:29,620 --> 01:20:33,140
All right, thank you everybody for the investigation today.
1636
01:20:33,140 --> 01:20:34,780
Thank you, Keith, for the investigation.
1637
01:20:34,780 --> 01:20:38,380
That was helpful to me in managing everything
1638
01:20:38,380 --> 01:20:41,860
that I am going through in my life right now.
1639
01:20:41,860 --> 01:20:44,420
And the most beautiful thing is like the synchronicities
1640
01:20:44,420 --> 01:20:49,340
because I was down yesterday, bad.
1641
01:20:49,340 --> 01:20:52,780
And this is such a reminder of all the stuff
1642
01:20:52,780 --> 01:20:55,580
that I fell in love with that helped me
1643
01:20:55,580 --> 01:20:58,980
begin to make the changes I had to make in my life.
1644
01:20:58,980 --> 01:21:00,220
Yeah, yeah.
1645
01:21:00,220 --> 01:21:01,820
So thanks for bringing that up.
1646
01:21:02,700 --> 01:21:03,980
Wow, all right, cool.
1647
01:21:03,980 --> 01:21:08,140
Well, we'll see all you guys next week and,
1648
01:21:08,140 --> 01:21:11,580
oh well, hold on a second, sorry,
1649
01:21:11,580 --> 01:21:14,140
I'm doing the wrong buttons here, guys.
1650
01:21:14,140 --> 01:21:15,740
Bye guys, stop recording.
1651
01:21:17,820 --> 01:21:21,140
Thank you for listening to the Chasing Thoughts podcast.
1652
01:21:21,140 --> 01:21:23,740
Please support us by liking, subscribing
1653
01:21:23,740 --> 01:21:25,580
or leaving a review or comment.
1654
01:21:25,580 --> 01:21:27,460
We would really appreciate it.
1655
01:21:27,460 --> 01:21:28,700
If you'd like to be a guest,
1656
01:21:28,700 --> 01:21:30,380
we would love to explore life
1657
01:21:30,380 --> 01:21:32,180
and what it means to be human with you.
1658
01:21:32,180 --> 01:21:54,180
Please email us at chasingthoughtspodcast at gmail.com.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000
Welcome to the Chasing Thoughts podcast.
2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Listen in as Mindy, Keith and their guests
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,000
take a deep dive into their own minds and souls
4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,000
to investigate the beauty of imperfection,
5
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,000
challenge their beliefs,
6
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:17,000
and embrace the richness of living a truly authentic life.
7
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,000
Welcome to Chasing Thoughts.
8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,000
Hi everybody, welcome to Chasing Thoughts.
9
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000
Keith and I here today,
10
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,000
and today we're going to talk about conflict,
11
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,000
which is super juicy.
12
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:37,000
And I'm excited about this because I think that Keith and I
13
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,000
have very different experiences with this.
14
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,000
So Keith has struggled with anger,
15
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,000
and he knows anger real well.
16
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,000
And I'm the opposite.
17
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,000
I'm totally afraid of anger.
18
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,000
When I get into conflict, I have a tendency to roll over.
19
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:58,000
I'm afraid to like hold my ground in like a back and forth,
20
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,000
like powerful discussion.
21
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:07,000
And that has not served me well at all in my life.
22
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000
Right?
23
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,000
And so there's like, there's this middle ground of conflict
24
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,000
that's healthy.
25
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,000
I'd like to discuss what that is.
26
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,000
And for me, this is coming up because you know,
27
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,000
recently I've been having this, you know,
28
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,000
weird thing that's been happening to my Instagram account where like,
29
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,000
I just keep getting more action, I guess.
30
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,000
You know?
31
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,000
And so that means like more people commenting,
32
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,000
more of this and that.
33
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000
And because it's new, I'm like, oh,
34
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,000
I want to try to respond to all of this and like keep it going,
35
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,000
which is like not sustainable at all.
36
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:53,000
But it's been really interesting to me because there's been like
37
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,000
this side little growth journey happening with me.
38
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,000
So at first I would post something and then of course it's the internet
39
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,000
and attack, negativity is going to happen, right?
40
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,000
And I felt like, oh, I need to back away.
41
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,000
I'm going to be, I'm the wrong one here.
42
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,000
I should delete this post.
43
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,000
I don't want negativity on my feed.
44
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:17,000
I don't, like, it felt very,
45
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,000
like I was disappearing, right?
46
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000
Or avoiding it, right?
47
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,000
So it was, I sat with it because I'm like, wait a second,
48
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:30,000
like this isn't how I want to operate.
49
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:35,000
I had a situation back when I was coaching like 2010,
50
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:40,000
2015, like in that, where I made this YouTube video and it actually
51
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,000
got like a million hits, right?
52
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,000
Like, wow.
53
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,000
But then there was so many negative comments on it that I just deleted it.
54
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,000
Wow.
55
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:56,000
And I look back and I go, that didn't serve me, right?
56
00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:00,000
But I was so like shooken up and embarrassed about some of the comments
57
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:08,000
that people had made about me and, um, so as this sort of has gone on this
58
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:13,000
last week or two, well, pause the story for a minute.
59
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000
My husband is the opposite.
60
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,000
He like loves it when people try to like scam bait him on the phone
61
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:24,000
because he'll try to like, like, there's some sort of enjoyment he gets
62
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,000
over being like confrontational.
63
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,000
And I never understood that.
64
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,000
I'm like, when someone tries to scam bait me, I feel bad for me.
65
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000
I feel bad for them.
66
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000
I just feel icky.
67
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000
Right.
68
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,000
So I started playing around a little bit more with like,
69
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,000
not disappearing, not being mean, right?
70
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,000
But just not rolling over.
71
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:54,000
And it's been an interesting kind of safe way in my comments thread,
72
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,000
right?
73
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:59,000
For me to like play around with what's happening in here around
74
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,000
conflict and how I feel about conflict.
75
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,000
And, um, I don't know.
76
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000
I don't have the answers, right?
77
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,000
I just, I don't know.
78
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,000
I don't have the answers, right?
79
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,000
I just thought that it would be interesting.
80
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,000
Um,
81
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,000
Just be interesting to explore a little bit more,
82
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,000
not just online, but in life. Like.
83
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,000
How far do you stand up for yourself and when do you back up and roll
84
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,000
over and what is standing up for yourself look like and what if the
85
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,000
other person keeps going at you, even when you're kind and like all
86
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000
of those types of things.
87
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,000
I just think it'd be nice to have a little more clarity on it.
88
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000
Yeah.
89
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,000
That that is, that is such a crazy story too.
90
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000
Just about that this video, cause I mean,
91
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,000
especially in the social media world,
92
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,000
a video that gets a million views. Like, I mean, that's what everybody wants.
93
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,000
Like I have one that has like 17,000 and I'm like, I,
94
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,000
I am famous everybody. Like I'm stopping for all the graphs on the street,
95
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:04,000
you know, um, and, and then to take it down for the cause of the,
96
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,000
cause of the negative comments that is so, that's so wild.
97
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,000
And, and I know like celebrities deal with this as well.
98
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:15,000
You know, where sometimes the, the comments can trigger,
99
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,000
I think their own judgments and maybe their own insecurities.
100
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,000
And then they struggle with that.
101
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,000
Um, yeah.
102
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000
Yeah.
103
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,000
That is a, it can be such an amazing place and such a nasty place.
104
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000
Yeah. And I also see that, you know,
105
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,000
I've talked a little bit about when I was an executive director and I had to deal
106
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,000
a lot with like city hall and city managers and the mayor and all that.
107
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:41,000
And like the conflict associated with that role was one that I wasn't
108
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,000
able to navigate.
109
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:49,000
Right. I wasn't, I either pushed too hard and people hated me and then I got a
110
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,000
reputation as being a bitch, or I didn't push enough.
111
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,000
And then I was a push, right? Like getting it right.
112
00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:01,000
And advocating for what was important to advocate for and letting go.
113
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,000
What wasn't right. That was difficult for me.
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Yeah.
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And so this is something that I want to become more comfortable with.
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In my life, in my social media.
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And I certainly don't want to roll over.
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Like that's not the right thing.
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Yeah.
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The extreme that you knew before where you're pushing to make the other
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person roll over.
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That's not what you want either. Right.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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So I used to be the way where no matter how far you go,
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I will always go one step farther.
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Right.
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And like,
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especially when I came home from the military and I think that's part of
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like the military culture is also is.
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Accepting like a level of violence is as normal.
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And probably like, don't give up.
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Don't give in.
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And I think that's part of the military culture.
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And I think that's the way that I'm going to go.
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And probably like, don't give up.
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Don't give in.
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Right. Stay.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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And we're always fighting each other.
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You know, even, even if there's like a, an actual issue.
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You know, and this was before my day in the military,
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but you would go into, you know, behind the barracks or something.
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And just beat each other up and, and whoever,
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you know, you know, you know, you know, you're not going to get in the
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way of the military.
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And that was the loser, you know, and then at, at that point,
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everything is done.
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I remember in fact, when I first got to my unit and we were at the,
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at the club, because this is before Sandy got there.
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And I was out with, with the guys and stuff.
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Somebody got into a, into a fight.
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And all you just heard is someone yell bravo on your feet.
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And so we were part of Bravo company.
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And I'm looking around and everybody just.
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I was like, oh, I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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So, because one of the guys from our company,
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not even in our platoon, just our company got into a fight.
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And, and then it became a company versus company battle.
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So.
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I, I brought it that way to the point where I would say like the worst.
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The thing that scared me the most that really started to scare me with
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the idea of being a red light.
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And in Italy, you're not supposed to turn right on red.
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So I was driving with my family and,
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and I was out of red light turning right and I'm sitting there.
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So the guy behind me beeps and, and I, and I go, but he was,
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he was like, why was young then too,
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but trying to show off for his girlfriend in the,
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in the passenger seat and stuff.
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And so right after we get on the highway and he decided he wasn't done with
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the car, he was just sitting there.
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And he was like, I don't know,
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I don't know what to do with me for, for this mistake of not turning
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right on red.
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And so he pulled up along, alongside of me on the highway.
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I was in the middle lane. He pulls up on the right lane and he's
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given me the finger, but like Sandy sitting right there.
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So I went, I went black.
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And I just started slowly turning the wheel.
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And my, my intention was to put him into the wall of the tunnel
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at, at 70 miles an hour.
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And as, and I was just a slow thing too. I didn't just jam into him,
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just a slow thing where I started taking his plate and he started moving
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over when he got onto the shoulder.
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All's I remember is his girlfriend was hitting him. Sandy was hitting me.
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But I don't remember like anything and then I finally just stopped kind of
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snapped out of it. And I, and I realized like, I will take it to that point.
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You know, where I'll hurt somebody and that scared me so bad.
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Yeah.
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One of the problems, ironically, that I've had though over the last 20 years,
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dealing with PTSD and stuff and dealing with the constant negative
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put downs of myself that I create.
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I have gone when I started this,
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I went to the opposite extreme, you know, I feel like I saw,
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I feel like I started to where you could do,
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and you can come up and punch me in my face and I'd be like, God bless you, brother.
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Right.
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You know, I'm happy I can make your day by, by allowing you to beat me,
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you know, like type thing. And like you said,
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I feel like I was losing part of myself.
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Yeah.
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You know, like I want to find that balance where I can,
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I can still be kind, but,
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but also still be confident and assertive, you know, like,
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and that's kind of the word that I've,
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that I've kind of adopted where I want to learn assertiveness where I don't
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just roll over, but,
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but I do stand up for myself, you know what I mean?
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Because like you said, like I felt like I lost part of who I was in that
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overcorrection.
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Yeah.
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I think it's interesting that we have opposite reptilian brains, right?
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You go to fight or you used to, and I go to freeze, right?
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But in both cases, we're totally losing consciousness.
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Right. Yeah.
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Yeah. Response. And I think this is an important discussion at this time in
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the world too, because especially on social media, it's like when you hear
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things about that I find like really dangerous and offensive, like,
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gay people aren't humans or right, like some kind of crazy judgment.
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And do I have a job and responsibility to stand up for that?
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First question.
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If I do stand up for that and the person is clearly demonstrating behavior is
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that they're not interested in a conversation.
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They just want to be right and mean.
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Then do you just exit the conversation?
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Right. Like, you know, whatever you believe in, in this world,
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at what point do you stand up for it and what point do you draw back from it?
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And I think that is a challenge as well.
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And so it's like yourself, your family, but then it's also,
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I have the question about world issues.
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Or if you have a family member that believes something or is, you know,
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this came up a lot with the last Trump campaign where people are like,
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oh my God, my uncle's voting for Trump and I think it's bad or whatever.
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And they let it divide them.
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And when you're close to somebody like that, you might be able to have like a real
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conversation.
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But we have all this division happening.
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And so there's one part of my brain that's like, I don't want to be part of that
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division at all.
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I'm not going to enter those arguments.
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But then I'm like, well, isn't that apathy?
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Like, isn't that why Hitler was able to take over because people are like,
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I'm not going to enter that argument, whether or not Jews or people.
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Yeah.
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How like privileged am I to have that sort of apathy that I'm not, right?
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I'm not a colored person.
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I'm not a gay person.
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And I don't know.
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I just, I struggle with this concept.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It is, it is such a nuanced issue.
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And I think that's a really important thing.
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Because of just where we are in the world with technology and everything,
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like I've heard people talk about how.
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They don't believe that we were meant.
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To get as much information.
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About like world affairs as we get.
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Today.
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You know, because you have.
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Trump has been such a divisive figure,
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which I also think is the cause of.
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The political climate prior to that.
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You know, to create a space for somebody like that.
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Then you have Israel and Palestine, you have Russian Ukraine.
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You have the warlords in Africa.
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You have the gangs in South America, which, which help drive a lot of the
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immigration issue.
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And then, and then right back to us, you have that whole immigration issue,
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you know, where everything is an us versus them.
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Yeah.
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And.
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I personally tend to stay out of.
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A lot of that because I think.
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As far as like the big issues.
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For like, for instance, Israel versus Palestine.
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I know a little bit, but I don't know much.
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And I think that.
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One of the things that, that they've, they've.
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All right, let me, let me back up a little bit. So.
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I heard, I heard this story.
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This was a professor of mine named Perry, who was.
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The coolest guy.
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I have ever met in my life.
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He's.
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He was an archeologist. He dug in South Africa.
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He's an African American guy. He had, you know, dreads.
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He was like 70 at like dreads down to like lower back.
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Wearing like the coolest clothes. I'm like, I love this dude.
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And, and he, he was like, I want to debate. If you don't agree with me.
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Stand up and let me know and we'll, we'll debate.
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And he changed my mind on a lot of stuff,
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but he told his story about this, this thing in history called the Bacon's
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rebellion.
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And it was, I think the late.
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Um,
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Maybe, maybe the mid 1800s. I can't remember at this point, but anyways.
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So.
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Prior to this, like there was, there was nothing called white.
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There weren't white people.
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There, there were like, you know, um, and,
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and you had the slaves and then you had indentured servants, the, the,
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the, like, you know, like the Irish stuff like that.
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And they, at that point, they.
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Pushed, you know, yeah, get married into racial marriage. Yeah. Not a big deal.
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Yeah, go ahead, be happy, you know, all this stuff.
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And what happened was the, the indentured servants and the,
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and the slaves, they, they banded together, rose up under this guy named
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Bacon and, and they, they revolted.
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And they took over a bunch of plantations and stuff. And, and.
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It was finally put down, but one of the things they did at the end of it.
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Um, is they gave a little bit more rights.
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To the white indentured servants. And then what that did was that caused
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the white desert servants to start fighting against the, the black slaves.
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So they used.
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Conflict to divide and to separate.
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And to me.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Because now when they're fighting each other,
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and they're fighting each other.
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And now the plantation owners are sitting back with their sweet tea and
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their cigars, you know, just enjoying life.
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And.
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It seems like.
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In the media, which I think is just another arm of like our political
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system.
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That's what it does. It drives.
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It inserts conflict into us.
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And it creates an osse versus them.
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an enemy.
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Right.
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And then what they do is they start to dehumanize the other.
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You know, if like, I mean, and it's both sides,
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you know, people that voted for Trump, they're stupid.
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What was it with Hillary Clinton degenerates,
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you know, Blackwood, Redneck, Moonshiners,
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you know, white supremacists.
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And, you know, maybe there are some in there,
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especially the white supremacists,
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but then on the other side, you know, you have, you know,
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the Litwit and the, oh, they just want to,
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they're socialists, they're communists.
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They want to take my money and give it to everybody else.
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And they start to dehumanize.
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And that's something that's been used in war.
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I mean, from beginning of time, I mean, every,
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every war that we've had from the Revolutionary War,
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we've had derogatory slang that was used for the enemy.
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And you have to de, in my opinion,
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you have to dehumanize the enemy in order to be able
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to pull that trigger or do what you got to do
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and not have it like destroy your soul.
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Yeah.
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And that's what, that's where we find ourselves,
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like in this place of complete,
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just divided conflict constantly,
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because like you said, we're not,
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we're allowing other people to be our consciousness,
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the media, and the media is telling us,
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how to react from that reptilian side of our brain
364
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,400
by using fear to drive up that anger.
365
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,320
Yeah.
366
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:05,520
So I tend to stay out of a lot of that stuff
367
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,080
because I don't know the history.
368
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:13,080
I don't know the truth of the matter.
369
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:14,920
Yeah.
370
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,840
You know, I can easily say like,
371
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,600
all right, 30,000 people dead, that's wrong.
372
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,240
Yeah.
373
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,040
You know, but I mean, it's so nuanced.
374
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,360
I feel like for the most part,
375
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:32,360
I have opted to be on the sidelines as well,
376
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,800
mainly because I feel like I have two choices,
377
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,600
be in the fight, be divided, or be on the sideline.
378
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,440
And it doesn't seem like there's a third option
379
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,040
of actually discussing things and coming to common ground
380
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,580
and that kind of thing.
381
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:53,580
But then it also feels sometimes sort of
382
00:19:56,940 --> 00:20:01,940
out of touch and arrogant to be building a social platform,
383
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:07,220
right, or I don't know what you want to call it,
384
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:09,700
like expertise or influencer,
385
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,780
or being out in the world publicly
386
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:15,020
and totally ignoring what's happening
387
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:18,220
and posting a meme that's funny, right?
388
00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:19,820
Like there's something sort of,
389
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:21,620
you know, there's children being killed over here
390
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:25,060
and you're like, ha, ha, this is what I did to it, right?
391
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:29,220
There's some sort of, something gross about that too,
392
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:32,260
like not acknowledging what's happening in the world at all.
393
00:20:35,060 --> 00:20:36,500
And I just wish that,
394
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,060
I wish there was another way,
395
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:43,540
or I want somebody to show me a third option
396
00:20:43,540 --> 00:20:46,460
of how to navigate the world
397
00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,380
and stand up for what I want
398
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:53,380
without being drawn into these arguments or othering,
399
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:55,820
you know?
400
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,660
Yeah.
401
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:00,700
What I've been trying to do
402
00:21:02,820 --> 00:21:07,820
with where I feel like this is where I want to be is
403
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,620
people can come at me, you know?
404
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:13,140
So if I have an opinion about something,
405
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:14,900
you know, I could say this stuff, you know,
406
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,500
and then people can come at me
407
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:22,700
and we have this idea of like,
408
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,860
I'm gonna treat you how you treat me, you know?
409
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:30,340
And that to me is just going to lead to conflict.
410
00:21:30,340 --> 00:21:31,260
Oh yeah.
411
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:35,540
So I've made this decision where I'm gonna treat you
412
00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:40,300
the way I am because nobody,
413
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:44,220
well, I'm getting to the point where I wanted,
414
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,900
I wanna be able to say nobody can control my feelings
415
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:52,260
because my anger is beautiful and it's sacred
416
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:55,100
and it's mine, my emotions are sacred, you know?
417
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,060
In church, I learned for the longest time,
418
00:21:57,060 --> 00:22:00,580
emotions are evil, you're not supposed to have them,
419
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:03,980
all this stuff, but my emotions are sacred to me.
420
00:22:03,980 --> 00:22:06,980
I mean, they're what make me me.
421
00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:13,980
And nobody is gonna be able to control how I react.
422
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:19,900
So even when, and for me, like my platform,
423
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:22,260
like I'm gonna put out my message
424
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:26,860
and the message that I feel aligned with,
425
00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:29,420
that I feel is my purpose.
426
00:22:29,420 --> 00:22:33,660
And, you know, for instance, that's not,
427
00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:35,940
see, I'm even like getting nervous of saying,
428
00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:38,740
I wanna say this, but I'm getting nervous saying this
429
00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:40,940
because I'm like, what are the comments gonna be?
430
00:22:40,940 --> 00:22:41,860
Great.
431
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:46,860
My message is not free Palestine
432
00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:51,860
or I stand with Israel, like my message is love.
433
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,260
So I'm gonna push that.
434
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:58,020
And then when somebody comes at me with,
435
00:22:58,020 --> 00:22:59,700
you need to do this, you need to do this,
436
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:03,060
you need to do this, like one of the things
437
00:23:03,060 --> 00:23:04,700
that I've learned is like all of that
438
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,220
is a reflection of who they are inside.
439
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,220
And what they're trying to do is put that on me.
440
00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:13,020
Like if I don't have the same stance that they have,
441
00:23:13,020 --> 00:23:15,340
again, it's gonna create a me versus them.
442
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:18,820
And now they see me as an other and they gotta go at me.
443
00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:19,980
Great.
444
00:23:19,980 --> 00:23:24,140
But I'm trying to still look at them as,
445
00:23:24,980 --> 00:23:27,140
they're just people, they got their message,
446
00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:30,100
they got their passion, whatever,
447
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:35,100
but they don't realize, wow, I don't even know
448
00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:38,380
how do you say this?
449
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:41,380
They don't realize that it is just a reflection of their
450
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:44,380
inside, I'm not the one making them mad.
451
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:45,220
Right.
452
00:23:45,220 --> 00:23:46,780
They're just mad.
453
00:23:46,780 --> 00:23:47,620
Yeah.
454
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:51,420
So I'm not gonna stoke that fire in them
455
00:23:51,420 --> 00:23:55,260
because I lived in that for so long.
456
00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:56,740
God, it feels icky.
457
00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:59,620
Oh my, it's a miserable existence.
458
00:23:59,620 --> 00:24:00,460
Yeah.
459
00:24:00,460 --> 00:24:03,100
I mean, like you literally get to this point
460
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:07,820
where you're trying to control the entire world.
461
00:24:07,820 --> 00:24:11,460
And when it doesn't go the way that you want it to go,
462
00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:13,420
you lose your shit.
463
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,060
Yeah.
464
00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:20,060
You know, which means I would lose my shit 18 times a day.
465
00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:21,820
I control it.
466
00:24:21,820 --> 00:24:23,900
Yeah, I mean, the other day, I'm like,
467
00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:26,340
I'm like prepping coffee for the morning.
468
00:24:26,340 --> 00:24:28,540
And I wasn't thinking, you know,
469
00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:32,700
my mind was other places and the little scoop hit,
470
00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:36,060
just barely hit the edge of the coffee maker
471
00:24:36,060 --> 00:24:37,660
and all the coffee grounds all over the floor.
472
00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:40,700
And I'm like, all right.
473
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:42,820
So I'm like, all right, yeah.
474
00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:45,540
Yeah, ass like now go clean all this up, you know,
475
00:24:45,540 --> 00:24:47,380
cause you're an idiot and stuff like that,
476
00:24:47,380 --> 00:24:48,460
but I'm laughing about it.
477
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:51,860
You know, whereas before I would have spent 20 minutes
478
00:24:51,860 --> 00:24:54,140
walking around the house screaming my head off,
479
00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:57,220
you know, because of coffee grounds.
480
00:24:57,220 --> 00:24:58,060
Yeah.
481
00:24:58,060 --> 00:25:02,460
You know, so understanding that people's anger,
482
00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:03,700
even about like these issues,
483
00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:08,220
it's a reflection of them inside.
484
00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:10,100
And when I see that come out,
485
00:25:11,340 --> 00:25:16,140
I've now gotten to the point where I can feel bad for them,
486
00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:19,780
because I remember what that's like, you know,
487
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:24,780
and I remember how debilitating living in that constant state
488
00:25:24,780 --> 00:25:29,780
of readiness for conflict, how exhausting that can be.
489
00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:33,820
Yeah, your nervous system is just jacked up all the time.
490
00:25:33,820 --> 00:25:34,940
Oh yeah.
491
00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:36,260
Yeah.
492
00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:37,580
You know, attention headaches,
493
00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:40,380
you see all these people that have all these things,
494
00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:42,780
like one of the things I just learned about was like cortisol,
495
00:25:42,780 --> 00:25:46,300
how you can tell somebody that has a lot of cortisol
496
00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:49,100
on their system, cause they'll have like a big body,
497
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:52,220
but their arms and legs will be like little toothpicks.
498
00:25:52,220 --> 00:25:53,060
Yeah.
499
00:25:53,060 --> 00:25:56,380
You know that, you know, for the longest time,
500
00:25:57,260 --> 00:25:58,940
I could not lose weight.
501
00:25:59,780 --> 00:26:01,700
I mean, I would be eating carrots
502
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:05,300
and drinking these disgusting juices
503
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,620
that Sandy makes for me, you know, like,
504
00:26:07,620 --> 00:26:11,980
and not having anything that is good, you know,
505
00:26:11,980 --> 00:26:14,180
no cookies, no ice cream,
506
00:26:14,180 --> 00:26:17,660
like none of the like major food groups that I grew up on.
507
00:26:18,860 --> 00:26:21,980
And I couldn't lose weight.
508
00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:26,060
And when I started to meditate and lower my stress level,
509
00:26:26,060 --> 00:26:27,380
you know, when I started learning about
510
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,940
what cortisol does in our system,
511
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:34,060
all of a sudden like I dropped like 50 pounds.
512
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:34,900
Yeah.
513
00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:35,820
Isn't that crazy?
514
00:26:35,820 --> 00:26:39,500
Like, most middle connection to weight, yeah.
515
00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:40,340
Yeah.
516
00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:44,740
So I mean, just in that, taking on other people's need
517
00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:49,740
of conflict or their anger, their misery,
518
00:26:49,740 --> 00:26:52,260
whatever it is that they're dealing with,
519
00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:55,260
taking that on into ourselves
520
00:26:55,260 --> 00:26:57,540
is gonna have a biological reaction,
521
00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:58,940
not only emotional and mental,
522
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:01,540
but a biological reaction in our system.
523
00:27:01,540 --> 00:27:02,580
Yeah.
524
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:05,580
You know, and we talk about health and stuff like that
525
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:08,140
and not putting in processed foods and stuff.
526
00:27:08,140 --> 00:27:09,260
Well, the other thing I don't wanna put in
527
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:11,460
is somebody else's processed thoughts.
528
00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:12,540
Yeah.
529
00:27:12,540 --> 00:27:13,660
Yeah, for sure.
530
00:27:14,620 --> 00:27:17,220
Yeah, I've noticed that for me,
531
00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:21,540
another red flag is if I start to feel like
532
00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:25,060
I have to prove myself or defend myself,
533
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,500
it's like that's a red flag that like
534
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,860
something's not clear here, right?
535
00:27:29,860 --> 00:27:34,860
Like I've entered into the game of this, of conflict.
536
00:27:35,140 --> 00:27:36,060
Yeah.
537
00:27:36,060 --> 00:27:38,740
But, you know, that's challenging to do
538
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,900
when it's an issue that you care about
539
00:27:42,900 --> 00:27:47,900
or, you know, I guess the way I've been handling things
540
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:52,540
as they come up is I'll take one step in
541
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:58,220
and then if it's clear that that's not a discussion,
542
00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:00,780
I just thank the person for their opinion
543
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:02,540
and step back out.
544
00:28:04,340 --> 00:28:06,620
I mean, it's a little bit different in real person,
545
00:28:06,620 --> 00:28:08,940
you know, like close relationships,
546
00:28:08,940 --> 00:28:12,580
but on the internet, I think that's all you can do.
547
00:28:12,580 --> 00:28:13,420
Right?
548
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:17,460
Because having an internet conversation with a stranger
549
00:28:17,460 --> 00:28:22,260
that simply does not want to entertain any other ideas
550
00:28:22,260 --> 00:28:24,580
is just a waste of your time, right?
551
00:28:24,580 --> 00:28:27,140
You're not really furthering the issue of anything.
552
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:30,140
You're solidifying their position by arguing with them.
553
00:28:31,140 --> 00:28:32,340
Right, right.
554
00:28:32,340 --> 00:28:35,740
And that's some of the comments that you get
555
00:28:35,740 --> 00:28:38,020
on your socials like piss me off sometime.
556
00:28:38,020 --> 00:28:39,940
I go back into like,
557
00:28:39,940 --> 00:28:42,660
like I feel like the demons stern inside
558
00:28:42,660 --> 00:28:47,660
and I want to like lash out with something horrible.
559
00:28:49,380 --> 00:28:52,340
One time, all right, it's a little side note,
560
00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:56,060
but so when me and Sandy split up,
561
00:28:56,060 --> 00:29:01,060
we were both having some financial issues, you know,
562
00:29:01,940 --> 00:29:04,660
and we were getting calls from bill collectors.
563
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:07,820
So I got a call from one and I was like, look,
564
00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:10,100
it was a woman and I was like, look,
565
00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:13,380
I just, you know, was separated from my wife.
566
00:29:13,380 --> 00:29:15,140
Like I'm going to get all the straightened out,
567
00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:18,620
just need a little bit of time to get my finances back in order.
568
00:29:18,620 --> 00:29:20,420
And she said to me, you know,
569
00:29:20,420 --> 00:29:22,940
because bill collectors, they're nasty,
570
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:24,540
they're supposed to be.
571
00:29:24,540 --> 00:29:25,740
And she said to me,
572
00:29:25,740 --> 00:29:27,380
maybe if you can handle your finances,
573
00:29:27,380 --> 00:29:28,700
your wife wouldn't have left you.
574
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:32,460
So I was like, okay, you took it there.
575
00:29:32,460 --> 00:29:33,980
And I'm like, my rule,
576
00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:35,700
I'm always going to take it step farther.
577
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:38,020
I started having phone sacks with her.
578
00:29:39,020 --> 00:29:41,820
And she hung up very, very quickly.
579
00:29:44,220 --> 00:29:46,820
And it was a couple of days later,
580
00:29:46,820 --> 00:29:50,580
I went over to pick up the kids and Sandy was bawling.
581
00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:54,420
She had just lost her mother like a couple of weeks prior.
582
00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:56,260
And she was on the phone and I'm like, you know,
583
00:29:56,260 --> 00:29:57,580
I was asking her what was going on.
584
00:29:57,580 --> 00:30:00,340
And it was a bill collector.
585
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:02,180
And she was trying to explain
586
00:30:02,180 --> 00:30:05,380
how she spent sending money to her.
587
00:30:05,380 --> 00:30:06,660
Sending money in and stuff,
588
00:30:06,660 --> 00:30:08,340
but her mother just died, you know,
589
00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:10,420
she'll get to it, she forgot.
590
00:30:10,420 --> 00:30:13,580
And the guy was just being nasty.
591
00:30:13,580 --> 00:30:16,540
So I was like, well, that worked with her.
592
00:30:16,540 --> 00:30:17,900
So let me see, you know,
593
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:19,100
so I was like, let me have the phone.
594
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:20,660
And I'm like, listen, why are you being like this?
595
00:30:20,660 --> 00:30:21,940
You know, I gave him a chance
596
00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:24,340
and he was still being nasty.
597
00:30:24,340 --> 00:30:26,140
So I started describing to him
598
00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:28,140
what I was going to do to his mother.
599
00:30:29,100 --> 00:30:30,660
And he hung up.
600
00:30:30,660 --> 00:30:32,780
And the funny thing was is that next day,
601
00:30:32,780 --> 00:30:35,780
they called, like somebody else called back
602
00:30:35,780 --> 00:30:37,820
and set up a payment plan with her.
603
00:30:37,820 --> 00:30:39,460
The payment plan was actually less money
604
00:30:39,460 --> 00:30:40,900
than she was sending.
605
00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:42,380
She was sending like $50 a month.
606
00:30:42,380 --> 00:30:44,460
They were like, just send us $10 a month.
607
00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:47,540
And like, dude, that could have been handled
608
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:48,900
so much easier.
609
00:30:50,620 --> 00:30:53,100
But yeah, so some of the comments that you get,
610
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:56,220
I want to go back to that.
611
00:30:56,220 --> 00:30:59,180
You know, that's the urge I have, especially,
612
00:30:59,180 --> 00:31:00,740
do you mind if I bring one up?
613
00:31:00,740 --> 00:31:05,740
So you posted something and the first comment somebody put,
614
00:31:07,980 --> 00:31:10,300
but why are you talking like that?
615
00:31:10,300 --> 00:31:13,460
You know, and they spelled out, you know,
616
00:31:13,460 --> 00:31:16,140
and you have naturally a more like,
617
00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:17,460
I don't know, what'd you call it?
618
00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:19,340
A voice or something?
619
00:31:19,340 --> 00:31:20,180
Yeah.
620
00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:21,460
And like, dude, when I smoke,
621
00:31:21,460 --> 00:31:23,180
I turn into like Jack Nicholson.
622
00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:27,660
I'm like, dude, let's talk about consciousness, man.
623
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:32,660
You know, like I go completely into another like
624
00:31:33,220 --> 00:31:34,740
voice personality.
625
00:31:37,220 --> 00:31:42,220
But for those people that are just saying stuff,
626
00:31:42,740 --> 00:31:47,260
to just say stuff, to just be mean,
627
00:31:49,060 --> 00:31:53,540
their punishment, whatever you want to call it,
628
00:31:53,540 --> 00:31:56,260
karma, reward, you know, whatever,
629
00:31:56,260 --> 00:31:59,260
is they, if that's what they're putting out,
630
00:31:59,260 --> 00:32:04,020
imagine what they feel inside, you know?
631
00:32:04,020 --> 00:32:06,660
And it's hard to do because we take that stuff so personally.
632
00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:08,860
I mean, and because a lot of times it triggers our own
633
00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:11,860
insecurities about ourselves, you know, but,
634
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:15,500
like I was talking to a guy once when I worked at this program
635
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,340
who was schizophrenic,
636
00:32:16,340 --> 00:32:19,660
we were talking about our internal versus external world.
637
00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:20,860
And he said, the sad thing is,
638
00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:22,820
is most people create an internal world
639
00:32:22,820 --> 00:32:26,140
that is so disgusting, nobody would want to live in it.
640
00:32:27,060 --> 00:32:30,580
So that's why we have to try to control everything externally.
641
00:32:31,980 --> 00:32:34,300
You know, and I thought that was like, I was like, dude,
642
00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:37,420
that was one of the wisest things I think I've ever heard.
643
00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:38,340
Yeah.
644
00:32:38,340 --> 00:32:41,540
I think your example of the bill collector was really good.
645
00:32:41,540 --> 00:32:44,140
And that was one of the things that I was sort of,
646
00:32:45,100 --> 00:32:46,380
I don't know if I'd use the word struggle,
647
00:32:46,380 --> 00:32:48,500
but contemplating and looking at,
648
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:51,500
like I posted some kind of meme that said like,
649
00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:53,900
everybody's having a hard time, you have no idea,
650
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:56,620
like be kind to the people who you interact with
651
00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:58,300
in your life.
652
00:32:58,300 --> 00:33:01,580
And somebody made a comment that's like, you know,
653
00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:04,300
something about like, I lost my job
654
00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:05,980
or somebody didn't give this to me.
655
00:33:05,980 --> 00:33:09,020
And so I'm not going to be mean to them or something.
656
00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:13,380
And I was like, well, you know,
657
00:33:14,580 --> 00:33:16,340
like you can be nice to the human
658
00:33:16,340 --> 00:33:17,860
and still hate the organization
659
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:20,220
for their decisions or policies.
660
00:33:20,220 --> 00:33:24,220
But, you know, it's just,
661
00:33:24,220 --> 00:33:27,220
and they came back with a reason why they couldn't.
662
00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:29,300
And then I just left it because it's like, well,
663
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:30,540
that's what I said, I took one step in,
664
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:33,140
I told you my opinion, if you don't want it.
665
00:33:34,820 --> 00:33:38,700
But it's interesting to me as I start to get
666
00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:40,500
more and more comments.
667
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:45,460
I guess I'm questioning my responsibility, for example,
668
00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:48,860
you saw the one, the one, me and my post-it
669
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:51,300
where it has like Jesus and he says, love everybody.
670
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:52,460
Yeah, yeah.
671
00:33:52,460 --> 00:33:53,980
And then the guy, somebody else says like,
672
00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:57,380
even if they're gay and then somebody else says like,
673
00:33:57,380 --> 00:33:59,660
yes, even if they ask stupid questions, right?
674
00:33:59,660 --> 00:34:01,140
It was just like a funny little meme.
675
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:03,500
I thought it was funny, right?
676
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:07,380
But like the amount of,
677
00:34:11,140 --> 00:34:14,380
in my opinion, just like really horrible shit
678
00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:19,380
that people say and judgment, and then I think,
679
00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:21,420
well, like I don't want any part of this,
680
00:34:21,420 --> 00:34:23,860
I want to delete it, right?
681
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:26,540
And it's like, okay, so if I post something
682
00:34:26,540 --> 00:34:29,780
and somebody misinterprets it or they say something mean
683
00:34:29,780 --> 00:34:33,300
on it, do I have a responsibility to hide their comment,
684
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:36,060
delete their comment, respond to their comment?
685
00:34:36,060 --> 00:34:39,620
Like, where does my responsibility in this world end
686
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:42,980
if I say something and somebody misinterprets me
687
00:34:42,980 --> 00:34:46,900
or I guess I'm just trying to feel this out
688
00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:50,300
on a bigger platform, like as a person grows bigger
689
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:52,540
and bigger in the world and their message
690
00:34:52,540 --> 00:34:54,260
and their impact is bigger,
691
00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:56,180
they have a larger responsibility.
692
00:34:59,300 --> 00:35:01,620
What does that really look like?
693
00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:06,260
Like what are the nuances of that, right?
694
00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:09,460
Yeah, I don't know.
695
00:35:09,460 --> 00:35:13,140
I kind of...
696
00:35:13,140 --> 00:35:14,860
Or do you just let it go?
697
00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:17,300
But that seems irresponsible in a way.
698
00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:19,140
But so I guess my question would be
699
00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:22,700
is what do we have a responsibility to or for?
700
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,700
Do we have a responsibility for...
701
00:35:26,140 --> 00:35:26,980
That's a good question, right?
702
00:35:26,980 --> 00:35:29,220
I have a responsibility for my clarity
703
00:35:29,220 --> 00:35:32,140
but not for the other person's understanding.
704
00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:34,340
Yeah, okay, because in the social media world,
705
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:36,940
even though it's nasty comments,
706
00:35:36,940 --> 00:35:39,660
and I still struggle, like if I get one,
707
00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:42,820
like I start like, I'm like, oh man, I'm stupid,
708
00:35:42,820 --> 00:35:47,300
because it triggers my issues, you know?
709
00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:52,300
But every comment, I saw a video once,
710
00:35:52,420 --> 00:35:54,580
this woman, she was, and she just looked
711
00:35:54,580 --> 00:35:58,140
like the most confident, strong person
712
00:35:58,140 --> 00:36:01,620
and she was explaining why she loves
713
00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:05,020
getting these horrible comments.
714
00:36:05,020 --> 00:36:07,220
So she's like, because all you're doing
715
00:36:07,220 --> 00:36:09,380
is pushing my message out further and further.
716
00:36:09,380 --> 00:36:11,700
So every horrible comment I get,
717
00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:15,740
it's like upping like how far the algorithm is.
718
00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:18,460
Yeah, and that means that my message is reaching
719
00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:20,820
more people than it does resonate with.
720
00:36:20,820 --> 00:36:21,660
Right.
721
00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:24,580
You know, it's getting there on the backs of assholes
722
00:36:24,580 --> 00:36:26,820
but it's getting there.
723
00:36:26,820 --> 00:36:27,660
Yeah.
724
00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:32,660
And so I think that our responsibility is to our purpose.
725
00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:50,260
I don't know if that gives me a lot more clarity.
726
00:36:53,060 --> 00:36:53,900
Yeah.
727
00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:57,260
You know, I mean, I guess that would be a good thing
728
00:36:57,260 --> 00:37:01,180
for like a deep medicine dive for me, right?
729
00:37:01,180 --> 00:37:02,020
Yeah.
730
00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:05,420
You know, because you're like, if you asked me,
731
00:37:05,420 --> 00:37:07,780
like what is my purpose, I would say,
732
00:37:08,940 --> 00:37:11,620
to help people come home to themselves.
733
00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:19,500
But even if I know that, I still don't understand
734
00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:26,340
how that plays out in all these nuanced situations.
735
00:37:26,340 --> 00:37:27,180
Right.
736
00:37:27,180 --> 00:37:28,020
Yeah.
737
00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:30,340
Yeah, it's still, but it would be,
738
00:37:30,340 --> 00:37:32,940
it would be an interesting exploration for sure,
739
00:37:32,940 --> 00:37:35,820
like a deeper inner exploration.
740
00:37:36,940 --> 00:37:41,940
Yeah, I remember watching a documentary on Jane Goodall
741
00:37:43,540 --> 00:37:46,740
who I think she's just the most amazing woman.
742
00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:51,940
And she started going into pharmaceutical companies
743
00:37:51,940 --> 00:37:56,460
and touring where they kept the chimps.
744
00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:58,820
And then she would give a speech like afterwards
745
00:37:58,820 --> 00:38:00,780
and she would show the chimps in the wild.
746
00:38:01,860 --> 00:38:04,140
And she would show them the behavior of the chimps
747
00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:08,300
in the cages and how, you know, how they were acting.
748
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:10,660
She said, you're damaging.
749
00:38:10,660 --> 00:38:13,940
So she showed like the humanity of the chimps.
750
00:38:13,940 --> 00:38:16,300
She showed them their consciousness
751
00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:18,340
and she was getting death threats.
752
00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:21,340
She was being called a traitor to the, you know,
753
00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:25,140
conservation type movement.
754
00:38:25,140 --> 00:38:28,380
And she said this, she said,
755
00:38:28,380 --> 00:38:30,500
if you want to change someone's mind,
756
00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:32,420
you have to first touch their heart.
757
00:38:34,420 --> 00:38:36,940
And that's kind of become, I don't know.
758
00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:37,780
Internet.
759
00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:38,620
Yeah.
760
00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:41,340
Like I get that practice with a real person,
761
00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:44,860
but I'm not like that practice is really hard
762
00:38:44,860 --> 00:38:46,660
on social media, right?
763
00:38:46,660 --> 00:38:50,220
Yeah, but each person that interacts with us,
764
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:56,500
is a person that is coming to us with their experiences,
765
00:38:57,660 --> 00:39:02,660
with their perspective, with the way they see the world.
766
00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:06,660
And a lot of them come as assholes.
767
00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:09,660
Right. It's very spiky. Yeah.
768
00:39:09,660 --> 00:39:14,660
Yeah. And I've gotten to the point where I can see them.
769
00:39:14,660 --> 00:39:16,660
I don't respond that way.
770
00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:18,660
Like I don't, I never respond immediately.
771
00:39:18,660 --> 00:39:21,660
If I get a good, if I get like a good comment,
772
00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:25,660
like I just post something about UFOs and stuff.
773
00:39:25,660 --> 00:39:28,660
And this dude was like, the Fermi paradox says,
774
00:39:28,660 --> 00:39:29,660
and I'm like, I don't know.
775
00:39:29,660 --> 00:39:30,660
I don't care what you're saying, but I love you.
776
00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:31,660
You're awesome.
777
00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:33,660
Fermi paradox and stuff.
778
00:39:33,660 --> 00:39:35,660
So I made a video off of that.
779
00:39:35,660 --> 00:39:38,660
And then he brought me some even more information.
780
00:39:38,660 --> 00:39:40,660
Like there's this theoretical vehicle
781
00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:42,660
that can move through space and time.
782
00:39:42,660 --> 00:39:45,660
Like, you know, so it'd be almost like interdimensional type
783
00:39:45,660 --> 00:39:48,660
travel instead of interstellar travel and stuff.
784
00:39:48,660 --> 00:39:49,660
And we're into that.
785
00:39:49,660 --> 00:39:50,660
So I'm responding immediately.
786
00:39:50,660 --> 00:39:53,660
Like my thumbs are just going like, like I'm like a 12 year old,
787
00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:58,660
you know, but when I get the ones that are telling me I'm wrong,
788
00:40:00,660 --> 00:40:04,660
I have to hold back because like at first I'm, I'm like angry.
789
00:40:04,660 --> 00:40:06,660
I take it personal and stuff.
790
00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:09,660
But then after that little bit of time,
791
00:40:09,660 --> 00:40:12,660
like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
792
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:15,660
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like angry.
793
00:40:15,660 --> 00:40:17,660
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like angry.
794
00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:19,660
And then the other thing that I remember,
795
00:40:19,660 --> 00:40:22,660
like that is a person that has had their experiences that has
796
00:40:22,660 --> 00:40:24,660
built who they are and how they see the world.
797
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:27,660
And sometimes I'm like, you know what?
798
00:40:27,660 --> 00:40:28,660
They got a point.
799
00:40:28,660 --> 00:40:29,660
You know, and.
800
00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:33,660
Other than, and other times I'm, I'm like, no,
801
00:40:33,660 --> 00:40:34,660
you're not right.
802
00:40:34,660 --> 00:40:38,660
And I'll make another video off that like explaining where I'm
803
00:40:38,660 --> 00:40:39,660
going to be.
804
00:40:39,660 --> 00:40:41,660
I'll make a video about that.
805
00:40:41,660 --> 00:40:42,660
And I'll make a video about it.
806
00:40:42,660 --> 00:40:44,660
And I'll make a video about it.
807
00:40:44,660 --> 00:40:47,660
So that's what the hell you're talking about or whatever.
808
00:40:47,660 --> 00:40:51,660
Because my, my message is, is like, love is the most one of the
809
00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:54,660
most powerful force. I think the only thing that is more,
810
00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:56,660
I know, I know, like energetically the vibration.
811
00:40:56,660 --> 00:40:57,660
The only thing that that is,
812
00:40:57,660 --> 00:41:00,660
it is a higher vibration than just love is authenticity.
813
00:41:00,660 --> 00:41:05,660
And I think authenticity is, is basically like a love of yourself.
814
00:41:05,660 --> 00:41:06,660
Yeah.
815
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:09,660
And, and since that's my message,
816
00:41:09,660 --> 00:41:12,660
that's how I've decided I will always respond.
817
00:41:12,660 --> 00:41:17,660
So call me what you want. Say what you want. Whatever.
818
00:41:17,660 --> 00:41:21,660
That's a reflection of how you feel about yourself.
819
00:41:21,660 --> 00:41:23,660
But how I feel about myself.
820
00:41:23,660 --> 00:41:24,660
Is.
821
00:41:24,660 --> 00:41:29,660
I feel love. I feel gratitude. So I'm going to come at you from
822
00:41:29,660 --> 00:41:32,660
where I am, not from where you are.
823
00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:36,660
But I'm going to come at you from where you are.
824
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:40,660
And that's helped me out so much.
825
00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:41,660
Yeah.
826
00:41:41,660 --> 00:41:42,660
I've had it.
827
00:41:42,660 --> 00:41:43,660
Oh, go ahead.
828
00:41:43,660 --> 00:41:46,660
I would say like, but I kind of brought one too far.
829
00:41:46,660 --> 00:41:48,660
So I had to start working a little bit more.
830
00:41:48,660 --> 00:41:49,660
I'm being a little bit more assertive.
831
00:41:49,660 --> 00:41:51,660
And being like, don't play Kate.
832
00:41:51,660 --> 00:41:53,660
You know, say like,
833
00:41:53,660 --> 00:41:54,660
I don't agree with you.
834
00:41:54,660 --> 00:41:56,660
And there's nothing wrong with that.
835
00:41:56,660 --> 00:41:59,660
Right. That's that. I think is a really deep truth.
836
00:41:59,660 --> 00:42:02,660
I mean, I don't agree with you. Thanks for your opinion.
837
00:42:02,660 --> 00:42:03,660
Yeah.
838
00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:07,660
Yeah. That I do a lot, especially with religious people,
839
00:42:07,660 --> 00:42:11,660
because if you're going to try to prove that you're right or wrong
840
00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:16,660
by like telling me Bible verses, and that's not my frame of absolute
841
00:42:16,660 --> 00:42:19,660
truth, we're never, we're in different universes, right?
842
00:42:19,660 --> 00:42:24,660
I can just thank you for your opinion and, and move on.
843
00:42:24,660 --> 00:42:25,660
Yeah.
844
00:42:25,660 --> 00:42:28,660
There's so, so much stuff that I read.
845
00:42:28,660 --> 00:42:32,660
I think it was a book that I read.
846
00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:36,660
There was a, there was a Malcolm Gladwell wrote this book called
847
00:42:36,660 --> 00:42:41,660
the bomber mafia about the, I think it was a hundred and a hundred
848
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:44,660
bomber squadron from World War II.
849
00:42:44,660 --> 00:42:45,660
And.
850
00:42:45,660 --> 00:42:49,660
There was, there was this guy named Fessinger who became a very prominent
851
00:42:49,660 --> 00:42:51,660
social psychologist who studied Colts.
852
00:42:51,660 --> 00:42:54,660
And he studied this cult called the Seekers and.
853
00:42:54,660 --> 00:42:58,660
And so all this, this woman who, who was a leader brought all their
854
00:42:58,660 --> 00:43:02,660
followers in and a UFO was going to land in her backyard and pick
855
00:43:02,660 --> 00:43:05,660
them up so that they were saved from the apocalypse.
856
00:43:05,660 --> 00:43:08,660
And it was supposed to happen like at four o'clock.
857
00:43:08,660 --> 00:43:12,660
So he, he's like watching all this happen four o'clock.
858
00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:16,660
She comes out of her room and she's like, I got a new message from the
859
00:43:16,660 --> 00:43:17,660
aliens.
860
00:43:17,660 --> 00:43:20,660
Like there's traffic, you know, whatever they're, they're running a
861
00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:21,660
little bit behind.
862
00:43:21,660 --> 00:43:24,660
They're going to be here at midnight, not at four o'clock.
863
00:43:24,660 --> 00:43:26,660
So they're like, all right, great.
864
00:43:26,660 --> 00:43:27,660
So they're waiting, they're waiting.
865
00:43:27,660 --> 00:43:29,660
And midnight comes and goes nothing.
866
00:43:29,660 --> 00:43:32,660
She comes about out of her little sanctum, whatever.
867
00:43:32,660 --> 00:43:34,660
And she's like, I got another message.
868
00:43:34,660 --> 00:43:36,660
They're coming on this date.
869
00:43:36,660 --> 00:43:39,660
And you know, and that date comes and goes, I got another message.
870
00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:40,660
They're coming on this date.
871
00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:43,660
And so what he found was that.
872
00:43:43,660 --> 00:43:47,660
When we have a belief system.
873
00:43:47,660 --> 00:43:51,660
And to me, this is again, one of the paradoxes that, that I'm falling
874
00:43:51,660 --> 00:43:53,660
in love with with life is that.
875
00:43:53,660 --> 00:43:58,660
We have belief systems, but belief systems are a box that we're put in.
876
00:43:58,660 --> 00:44:00,660
You know, that we believe from here to here.
877
00:44:00,660 --> 00:44:03,660
And I'm trying to expand that and just be.
878
00:44:03,660 --> 00:44:07,660
A seeker, you know, to be able to accept new information without having a
879
00:44:07,660 --> 00:44:10,660
belief wall that it just comes up against.
880
00:44:10,660 --> 00:44:14,660
And he said, we have a belief system and I, and those beliefs are challenged.
881
00:44:14,660 --> 00:44:17,660
We don't question the beliefs. We double down on them.
882
00:44:17,660 --> 00:44:18,660
Yeah.
883
00:44:18,660 --> 00:44:22,660
And in the religious side.
884
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,660
That's, that's what I have.
885
00:44:24,660 --> 00:44:27,660
I have found, you know, my background in Christianity.
886
00:44:27,660 --> 00:44:30,660
I mean, going to church from.
887
00:44:30,660 --> 00:44:34,660
Five years old, if not younger up until like 43.
888
00:44:34,660 --> 00:44:36,660
Reading my Bible constantly.
889
00:44:36,660 --> 00:44:38,660
You know, for a span, I read it.
890
00:44:38,660 --> 00:44:39,660
I read it.
891
00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:40,660
I read it.
892
00:44:40,660 --> 00:44:44,660
I had it down.
893
00:44:44,660 --> 00:44:45,660
10 chapters a day.
894
00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:48,660
And I can get through in three months.
895
00:44:48,660 --> 00:44:51,660
And I did that religiously.
896
00:44:51,660 --> 00:44:55,660
And I feel closer to God on this side where I stepped away.
897
00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:56,660
And I ever did.
898
00:44:56,660 --> 00:44:58,660
When I was in there.
899
00:44:58,660 --> 00:44:59,660
And so this is,
900
00:44:59,660 --> 00:45:03,660
this will be like one of the controversial things that'll really piss off a
901
00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:05,660
lot of, a lot of people that hold that faith.
902
00:45:05,660 --> 00:45:10,660
And that's not the intention. This is just what I believe religion has turned
903
00:45:10,660 --> 00:45:11,660
into.
904
00:45:11,660 --> 00:45:14,660
But I believe religion is turned into.
905
00:45:14,660 --> 00:45:16,660
Like a, like a thinly veiled humanism.
906
00:45:16,660 --> 00:45:18,660
It's a worship of self.
907
00:45:18,660 --> 00:45:20,660
It's all about.
908
00:45:20,660 --> 00:45:21,660
Right.
909
00:45:21,660 --> 00:45:23,660
Like I just saw a video.
910
00:45:23,660 --> 00:45:25,660
This lady's whole account.
911
00:45:25,660 --> 00:45:27,660
Is her on an airplane.
912
00:45:27,660 --> 00:45:30,660
At a, at a, she was at a train station.
913
00:45:30,660 --> 00:45:35,660
On a bus where she films herself.
914
00:45:35,660 --> 00:45:36,660
Yelling.
915
00:45:36,660 --> 00:45:38,660
Can I have your attention?
916
00:45:38,660 --> 00:45:41,660
I want you to know that Jesus Christ died for your sin.
917
00:45:41,660 --> 00:45:43,660
Like you're filming this. Like this isn't for God.
918
00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:45,660
This is for you. This is pride.
919
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:46,660
Yeah.
920
00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:48,660
You know, and.
921
00:45:48,660 --> 00:45:50,660
And I think that is sort of,
922
00:45:50,660 --> 00:45:52,660
they've taken the message.
923
00:45:52,660 --> 00:45:55,660
Of Jesus. And they've turned it into a way to control.
924
00:45:55,660 --> 00:45:58,660
And, and it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a,
925
00:45:58,660 --> 00:46:00,660
it's a way to control.
926
00:46:00,660 --> 00:46:03,660
And again, it creates an us first them.
927
00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:04,660
Yes.
928
00:46:04,660 --> 00:46:07,660
Which is so weird because the, the, the,
929
00:46:07,660 --> 00:46:09,660
the very words of Jesus.
930
00:46:09,660 --> 00:46:10,660
Are.
931
00:46:10,660 --> 00:46:14,660
Yeah. I would that none die and go to hell.
932
00:46:14,660 --> 00:46:17,660
And you're like, Oh, you don't, you don't, you don't think,
933
00:46:17,660 --> 00:46:21,660
uh, homosexuality is an abomination. You're, you're going to hell.
934
00:46:21,660 --> 00:46:24,660
I can't wait to see you burn.
935
00:46:24,660 --> 00:46:28,660
I can't wait to see you burn.
936
00:46:28,660 --> 00:46:30,660
I can't wait to see you burn.
937
00:46:30,660 --> 00:46:31,660
All right.
938
00:46:31,660 --> 00:46:34,660
Well, the guy that died for you and gave you salvation says that he
939
00:46:34,660 --> 00:46:37,660
doesn't want to see anybody dying go to hell, but you do.
940
00:46:37,660 --> 00:46:40,660
And you're on, on his wavelength dude. No, you're not.
941
00:46:40,660 --> 00:46:41,660
Not at all.
942
00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:45,660
You know, like the judgment, the, the hatred, the fear.
943
00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:46,660
Yeah.
944
00:46:46,660 --> 00:46:48,660
That, that is baked into that.
945
00:46:48,660 --> 00:46:50,660
And I feel very, very bad.
946
00:46:50,660 --> 00:46:51,660
For them.
947
00:46:51,660 --> 00:46:54,660
I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
948
00:46:54,660 --> 00:46:57,660
I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
949
00:46:57,660 --> 00:46:59,660
I really remember, you know,
950
00:46:59,660 --> 00:47:02,660
because I was deeply religious to church four times a week,
951
00:47:02,660 --> 00:47:03,660
that kind of thing.
952
00:47:03,660 --> 00:47:04,660
Oh, yeah.
953
00:47:04,660 --> 00:47:07,660
Someone would argue with me.
954
00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:10,660
I would just feel more and more self-righteous.
955
00:47:10,660 --> 00:47:11,660
Yes.
956
00:47:11,660 --> 00:47:13,660
And it was actually like a high, right?
957
00:47:13,660 --> 00:47:15,660
Like, right.
958
00:47:15,660 --> 00:47:18,660
And you're wrong. And.
959
00:47:18,660 --> 00:47:21,660
And I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
960
00:47:21,660 --> 00:47:24,660
I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
961
00:47:24,660 --> 00:47:27,660
Like when you go to hell and you'll, then you'll know, I was right.
962
00:47:27,660 --> 00:47:29,660
Like it's so separate.
963
00:47:29,660 --> 00:47:36,660
And so like you said, kind of arrogant or prideful or like.
964
00:47:36,660 --> 00:47:42,660
That position of like, God gave me the right to judge you.
965
00:47:42,660 --> 00:47:43,660
Yeah.
966
00:47:43,660 --> 00:47:44,660
Right.
967
00:47:44,660 --> 00:47:45,660
And that.
968
00:47:45,660 --> 00:47:46,660
Yeah.
969
00:47:46,660 --> 00:47:49,660
You know, I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
970
00:47:49,660 --> 00:47:52,660
But I feel like I'm going to be a little bit more selfish.
971
00:47:52,660 --> 00:47:55,660
And then I would come up against that. Right.
972
00:47:55,660 --> 00:47:57,660
There's nothing you can do or say if somebody is.
973
00:47:57,660 --> 00:47:58,660
In that place.
974
00:47:58,660 --> 00:48:03,660
And not is challenging.
975
00:48:03,660 --> 00:48:05,660
And, and for the most, but not, not, not for,
976
00:48:05,660 --> 00:48:07,660
and because I know a lot of great Christians that.
977
00:48:07,660 --> 00:48:12,660
I miss from my church days, you know,
978
00:48:12,660 --> 00:48:14,660
like thinking about needing community.
979
00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:17,660
And I think that's, that's what I'm saying.
980
00:48:17,660 --> 00:48:21,660
There's just a lot of the, the other ones that are there, you know,
981
00:48:21,660 --> 00:48:23,660
I mean, I was even told once in church, like, I,
982
00:48:23,660 --> 00:48:25,660
I don't like dressing up.
983
00:48:25,660 --> 00:48:27,660
I like being comfortable.
984
00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:32,660
So.
985
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:36,660
I own a suit because I, I was in like my cousin's wedding and that's
986
00:48:36,660 --> 00:48:38,660
the only reason why I own a suit, you know.
987
00:48:38,660 --> 00:48:41,660
And I had a guy telling me it was a friend of mine.
988
00:48:41,660 --> 00:48:44,660
And I was like, I don't know what to do with it.
989
00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:46,660
I don't know what to do with it.
990
00:48:46,660 --> 00:48:50,660
I don't know how he dresses up for God because God's worth it.
991
00:48:50,660 --> 00:48:51,660
And.
992
00:48:51,660 --> 00:48:54,660
I was joking around. I was like, Oh, I didn't know that God had the
993
00:48:54,660 --> 00:48:55,660
queer eye.
994
00:48:55,660 --> 00:48:58,660
You know, like for that, like the nice, you know,
995
00:48:58,660 --> 00:49:02,660
and he got, he did not like that one at all.
996
00:49:02,660 --> 00:49:05,660
And I'm like, well, I think, I think God's more concerned with the
997
00:49:05,660 --> 00:49:08,660
outward appearance or with the inward appearance than the outward.
998
00:49:08,660 --> 00:49:11,660
But he was like, I'm not going to be in my sweater.
999
00:49:11,660 --> 00:49:13,660
You know, I wasn't coming in as a bum,
1000
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:16,660
but I wasn't coming in in the, in the three piece suit and everything,
1001
00:49:16,660 --> 00:49:19,660
you know, so that I, so that God can look at me and be like,
1002
00:49:19,660 --> 00:49:22,660
this dude knows fashion. All right. He's, he's a good one. You know,
1003
00:49:22,660 --> 00:49:27,660
but that's what it's been turned into.
1004
00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:28,660
And.
1005
00:49:28,660 --> 00:49:33,660
If you, if you think or say anything against that.
1006
00:49:33,660 --> 00:49:38,660
I think that my, my.
1007
00:49:38,660 --> 00:49:42,660
Unbelief should not be a challenge to their belief.
1008
00:49:42,660 --> 00:49:43,660
Yes.
1009
00:49:43,660 --> 00:49:45,660
When it, it becomes that to me,
1010
00:49:45,660 --> 00:49:48,660
it tells me that their belief is, is again,
1011
00:49:48,660 --> 00:49:51,660
another Bible reference is built on sinking sand.
1012
00:49:51,660 --> 00:49:55,660
You know, it's not something that is.
1013
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:59,660
It's not the foundation. I mean, Jesus talked about, you know,
1014
00:49:59,660 --> 00:50:02,660
building the church on the rock, you know, the foundation of everything.
1015
00:50:02,660 --> 00:50:05,660
Well, rock is unmovable.
1016
00:50:05,660 --> 00:50:09,660
And me saying like, no, I don't believe this is triggering you to the point
1017
00:50:09,660 --> 00:50:14,660
where you're having like an aneurysm, like something's wrong.
1018
00:50:14,660 --> 00:50:18,660
I'm laughing because when you said that.
1019
00:50:18,660 --> 00:50:22,660
Like I grew up with salty, the singing songbook.
1020
00:50:22,660 --> 00:50:24,660
He is right.
1021
00:50:24,660 --> 00:50:27,660
I haven't heard that in so long.
1022
00:50:27,660 --> 00:50:32,660
All like this salty place.
1023
00:50:32,660 --> 00:50:35,660
And there was a song I love that was like,
1024
00:50:35,660 --> 00:50:38,660
don't build your house on the sandy land.
1025
00:50:38,660 --> 00:50:41,660
Yeah. Yeah.
1026
00:50:41,660 --> 00:50:45,660
Salty the singing songbook song in my head.
1027
00:50:45,660 --> 00:50:48,660
Dude, do you remember Father Abraham song?
1028
00:50:48,660 --> 00:50:49,660
Oh yeah, totally.
1029
00:50:49,660 --> 00:50:51,660
Father Abraham.
1030
00:50:51,660 --> 00:50:54,660
So we, my family, like we got a group text.
1031
00:50:54,660 --> 00:50:59,660
And somebody put out, oh, we're doing a father's day slash
1032
00:50:59,660 --> 00:51:01,660
my daughter McCarrie's birthday.
1033
00:51:01,660 --> 00:51:04,660
So I think it was my dad or something that put like, oh,
1034
00:51:04,660 --> 00:51:05,660
Father McCarrie.
1035
00:51:05,660 --> 00:51:07,660
And then that just kicked that song off my head.
1036
00:51:07,660 --> 00:51:09,660
So I typed in like the first line.
1037
00:51:09,660 --> 00:51:12,660
I was like, Father Abraham had many sons and many sons had Father Abraham.
1038
00:51:12,660 --> 00:51:16,660
And then my younger daughter Ruth just puts in right arm.
1039
00:51:16,660 --> 00:51:20,660
We just kept the whole thing going.
1040
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:21,660
Oh man.
1041
00:51:21,660 --> 00:51:24,660
I love that song.
1042
00:51:24,660 --> 00:51:25,660
I love that song.
1043
00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:29,660
Salty the singing song.
1044
00:51:29,660 --> 00:51:32,660
But before Salty came in my head,
1045
00:51:32,660 --> 00:51:35,660
I was having another thought and it's kind of what you said too is
1046
00:51:35,660 --> 00:51:39,660
that.
1047
00:51:39,660 --> 00:51:41,660
My platform.
1048
00:51:41,660 --> 00:51:45,660
I say what I want to say or in an argument, I say what I want to
1049
00:51:45,660 --> 00:51:48,660
say.
1050
00:51:48,660 --> 00:51:51,660
I think that's the difference.
1051
00:51:51,660 --> 00:51:54,660
It's their responsibility, whether they want to pick it up or not
1052
00:51:54,660 --> 00:51:56,660
pick it up or pick part of it up.
1053
00:51:56,660 --> 00:52:00,660
But as soon as I engage in, I want to change your mind.
1054
00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:05,660
That's when things get sticky.
1055
00:52:05,660 --> 00:52:08,660
Even if that's on the comment thread, no matter where it is.
1056
00:52:08,660 --> 00:52:11,660
I think that's the difference that I was really seeking.
1057
00:52:11,660 --> 00:52:16,660
And this investigation is.
1058
00:52:16,660 --> 00:52:19,660
I'm not giving the other person the right to say what I want to say.
1059
00:52:19,660 --> 00:52:22,660
I'm not giving the other person the right to say what I want to say.
1060
00:52:22,660 --> 00:52:25,660
I'm not giving the other person the right to say what I want to say.
1061
00:52:25,660 --> 00:52:26,660
And all my feelings.
1062
00:52:26,660 --> 00:52:29,660
But as soon as I notice that feeling of like, I'm right, you're wrong.
1063
00:52:29,660 --> 00:52:31,660
Or I have to change your mind because.
1064
00:52:31,660 --> 00:52:33,660
It's show you the error of your ways.
1065
00:52:33,660 --> 00:52:34,660
Then I'm in arrogance.
1066
00:52:34,660 --> 00:52:37,660
Right. And I'm not giving the other person.
1067
00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:41,660
I'm not holding them as able to make their own mind based on just
1068
00:52:41,660 --> 00:52:42,660
the information that I've provided.
1069
00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:43,660
That's what I believe.
1070
00:52:43,660 --> 00:52:46,660
I am starting to think I'm right and you're wrong.
1071
00:52:46,660 --> 00:52:48,660
And I have to correct you.
1072
00:52:48,660 --> 00:52:51,660
That's a red flag.
1073
00:52:51,660 --> 00:52:52,660
Yeah.
1074
00:52:52,660 --> 00:52:57,660
Because that's when I'm no longer holding the other person is able.
1075
00:52:57,660 --> 00:53:00,660
To look at what I'm saying and make their own decision.
1076
00:53:00,660 --> 00:53:02,660
Right. I have an agenda for them.
1077
00:53:02,660 --> 00:53:05,660
That is so, I think that is like.
1078
00:53:05,660 --> 00:53:09,660
Out of everything that that right there is the piece for today.
1079
00:53:09,660 --> 00:53:11,660
Yes, I agree. That's what I was looking for is like,
1080
00:53:11,660 --> 00:53:14,660
what's the difference here? Like I want to say what I want to say.
1081
00:53:14,660 --> 00:53:17,660
But I don't want to get into this.
1082
00:53:17,660 --> 00:53:19,660
I'm right. You're wrong. Right.
1083
00:53:19,660 --> 00:53:22,660
So I have to recognize it in me when it comes up.
1084
00:53:22,660 --> 00:53:25,660
Yeah. And that's where I came up with like that whole Scooby-Doo thing.
1085
00:53:25,660 --> 00:53:27,660
Like, like ask off because then.
1086
00:53:27,660 --> 00:53:30,660
Like, because like, like you said, when I'm doing it for that means
1087
00:53:30,660 --> 00:53:31,660
I'm doing it for me.
1088
00:53:31,660 --> 00:53:32,660
Yes.
1089
00:53:32,660 --> 00:53:35,660
You know, but like going back to like the Jane Goodall, like,
1090
00:53:35,660 --> 00:53:38,660
if you want to change someone's mind, you got to touch their heart.
1091
00:53:38,660 --> 00:53:41,660
And sometimes, so to me, that means leading with love.
1092
00:53:41,660 --> 00:53:45,660
And sometimes that means acceptance, accepting the fact that.
1093
00:53:45,660 --> 00:53:50,660
They don't, they don't agree. Like I had, I had two, two people.
1094
00:53:50,660 --> 00:53:55,660
Commenting the used to comment constantly on my stuff.
1095
00:53:55,660 --> 00:53:57,660
I don't believe they follow me anymore.
1096
00:53:57,660 --> 00:53:59,660
Um,
1097
00:53:59,660 --> 00:54:04,660
But they were always telling me how I was wrong.
1098
00:54:04,660 --> 00:54:08,660
You know, even one of them, when we had Diana and she said, there is no destination
1099
00:54:08,660 --> 00:54:10,660
to grief.
1100
00:54:10,660 --> 00:54:12,660
She came out. She's like, that's wrong.
1101
00:54:12,660 --> 00:54:14,660
The destination is acceptance.
1102
00:54:14,660 --> 00:54:18,660
So, and this happened like multiple times with this one person where I would
1103
00:54:18,660 --> 00:54:23,660
then make a video off that. And I said, yes, we want to get to acceptance,
1104
00:54:23,660 --> 00:54:25,660
but that grief never goes away.
1105
00:54:25,660 --> 00:54:28,660
It may become less in time, but then there's going to be times like the,
1106
00:54:28,660 --> 00:54:31,660
the whole analogy with the ocean where those waves are going to come in and
1107
00:54:31,660 --> 00:54:32,660
just smash you.
1108
00:54:32,660 --> 00:54:35,660
And then they're going to be like, I'm not going to do that.
1109
00:54:35,660 --> 00:54:36,660
I'm not going to do that.
1110
00:54:36,660 --> 00:54:38,660
I'm not going to do that.
1111
00:54:38,660 --> 00:54:40,660
And they can be 10, 20 years down the road.
1112
00:54:40,660 --> 00:54:42,660
And then she completely agrees with that.
1113
00:54:42,660 --> 00:54:46,660
You know, so she's saying I'm wrong, but then she's agreeing with what I'm
1114
00:54:46,660 --> 00:54:47,660
saying.
1115
00:54:47,660 --> 00:54:52,660
You know, and, and there were so many times like I wanted to just.
1116
00:54:52,660 --> 00:54:55,660
You know, the, and my angry brain was like, you know,
1117
00:54:55,660 --> 00:54:56,660
just put out something like, dude.
1118
00:54:56,660 --> 00:54:59,660
If you're going to just willfully live a step above stupid,
1119
00:54:59,660 --> 00:55:02,660
then it's going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like,
1120
00:55:02,660 --> 00:55:03,660
what the hell is this?
1121
00:55:03,660 --> 00:55:05,660
I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,
1122
00:55:05,660 --> 00:55:06,660
you know, that's who you are.
1123
00:55:06,660 --> 00:55:07,660
That becomes about me.
1124
00:55:07,660 --> 00:55:08,660
Right.
1125
00:55:08,660 --> 00:55:09,660
You know,
1126
00:55:09,660 --> 00:55:10,660
in judgment.
1127
00:55:10,660 --> 00:55:12,660
Right. You're an arrogance. You're it. That's who you,
1128
00:55:12,660 --> 00:55:14,660
you're putting those things in the side of your heart.
1129
00:55:14,660 --> 00:55:17,660
I'm putting myself above her because like, oh, I'm smarter.
1130
00:55:17,660 --> 00:55:19,660
I'm wiser, whatever it is.
1131
00:55:19,660 --> 00:55:23,660
You know, but when I react with,
1132
00:55:23,660 --> 00:55:24,660
I'm still going to be loving because.
1133
00:55:24,660 --> 00:55:26,660
I kind of feel.
1134
00:55:26,660 --> 00:55:30,660
It's like, you know, like, you know,
1135
00:55:30,660 --> 00:55:34,660
I kind of feel like I'm the best person that that said like.
1136
00:55:34,660 --> 00:55:36,660
For some people, changes impossible and I had.
1137
00:55:36,660 --> 00:55:37,660
I had.
1138
00:55:37,660 --> 00:55:39,660
Responded to her and said, even if they want.
1139
00:55:39,660 --> 00:55:42,660
To change, even if they notice.
1140
00:55:42,660 --> 00:55:44,660
That change is needed and they want to work on change.
1141
00:55:44,660 --> 00:55:46,660
No, can't, they can't do it.
1142
00:55:46,660 --> 00:55:50,660
It's impossible.
1143
00:55:50,660 --> 00:55:53,660
And everything that I'm learning about the brain and granted,
1144
00:55:53,660 --> 00:55:55,660
I'm learning from my house. Not.
1145
00:55:55,660 --> 00:56:00,660
in school, but the neuroplasticity of the brain is amazing.
1146
00:56:02,100 --> 00:56:02,940
Yeah.
1147
00:56:02,940 --> 00:56:07,420
And so I truly believe changes is able, you know,
1148
00:56:07,420 --> 00:56:09,740
or all able to change.
1149
00:56:13,140 --> 00:56:17,840
And so when I try to get that across
1150
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:22,840
with as much love and understanding and kindness
1151
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:27,140
as I possibly can with strength in there.
1152
00:56:27,140 --> 00:56:29,940
Because I think one of the things that has happened
1153
00:56:29,940 --> 00:56:32,780
is kindness and empathy and all that stuff
1154
00:56:32,780 --> 00:56:34,860
has been turned into weakness.
1155
00:56:34,860 --> 00:56:37,220
You know, like this whole thing like a nice guy,
1156
00:56:37,220 --> 00:56:40,620
being a nice guy, being nice is a trauma response.
1157
00:56:40,620 --> 00:56:43,300
And I'm like, what the fuck?
1158
00:56:43,300 --> 00:56:44,140
Yeah.
1159
00:56:44,140 --> 00:56:46,060
Why is being nice a trauma?
1160
00:56:46,060 --> 00:56:47,780
Well, it's because you learned
1161
00:56:47,780 --> 00:56:49,540
that you have to people please.
1162
00:56:49,540 --> 00:56:54,540
I mean, I'm not like, I can be nice.
1163
00:56:55,020 --> 00:56:55,860
All right.
1164
00:56:55,860 --> 00:57:00,220
So there was a lady, so I talk about this sometimes
1165
00:57:00,220 --> 00:57:03,340
like as a professional pool player,
1166
00:57:04,620 --> 00:57:06,740
which I just play at Friday nights
1167
00:57:06,740 --> 00:57:08,460
with a bunch of other people that,
1168
00:57:08,460 --> 00:57:09,720
I mean, there's a lot of people that are good,
1169
00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:11,140
but most of us suck.
1170
00:57:11,140 --> 00:57:13,820
And I'm definitely in that category,
1171
00:57:13,820 --> 00:57:18,460
but this lady was just having an off day.
1172
00:57:18,460 --> 00:57:23,460
And was a very talkative, kind of being a little mean.
1173
00:57:25,140 --> 00:57:30,140
And I just kept going at her with kindness.
1174
00:57:30,340 --> 00:57:32,140
So we have to compare the scores.
1175
00:57:32,140 --> 00:57:34,260
And one time she like snapped at me and I'm like,
1176
00:57:34,260 --> 00:57:35,700
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
1177
00:57:35,700 --> 00:57:36,740
You know, like joking around,
1178
00:57:36,740 --> 00:57:37,980
like I'm a scared little kid.
1179
00:57:37,980 --> 00:57:40,100
And then she stopped.
1180
00:57:40,100 --> 00:57:42,020
My intent was her to laugh a little bit.
1181
00:57:42,020 --> 00:57:49,020
And she smiled, but she said, I lost my father this week.
1182
00:57:49,020 --> 00:57:50,020
And I'm like, oh my God, dude.
1183
00:57:50,020 --> 00:57:51,780
So I got up, I gave her a hug.
1184
00:57:51,780 --> 00:57:56,780
She's now, every time I see her, like we talk, you know,
1185
00:57:58,340 --> 00:58:00,820
I've played her a couple more times and we joke around.
1186
00:58:00,820 --> 00:58:03,340
Like when I went up to play her, she's like,
1187
00:58:03,340 --> 00:58:07,420
oh, no, how, you know, and then laughing about it and stuff.
1188
00:58:07,420 --> 00:58:08,860
So we have now a good time.
1189
00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:12,460
So you never know, like when we lead with the heart
1190
00:58:12,460 --> 00:58:16,220
to touch the heart instead of to change the logical brain,
1191
00:58:16,220 --> 00:58:18,620
like that's where the magic happens.
1192
00:58:19,940 --> 00:58:21,860
Okay, I have a big question for you.
1193
00:58:21,860 --> 00:58:26,860
So that is also my experience in one-on-one small groups,
1194
00:58:27,620 --> 00:58:29,860
100%, that is my experience.
1195
00:58:32,020 --> 00:58:37,020
On a huge level, is that possible?
1196
00:58:37,140 --> 00:58:37,980
Right?
1197
00:58:37,980 --> 00:58:39,380
And you look all throughout history
1198
00:58:39,380 --> 00:58:41,700
and you see movements that were based in love
1199
00:58:41,700 --> 00:58:43,460
and kindness and acceptance.
1200
00:58:44,660 --> 00:58:47,060
And most of the time those people get assassinated.
1201
00:58:48,540 --> 00:58:49,860
Most of the time we just kill those people
1202
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,740
if they start talking about love.
1203
00:58:51,740 --> 00:58:56,740
But could the world on a mass scale become a better place,
1204
00:58:58,780 --> 00:59:03,260
not fighting tyranny, but through love?
1205
00:59:03,260 --> 00:59:05,020
Like, I'm not using the right words,
1206
00:59:05,020 --> 00:59:06,500
but do you understand what I'm saying?
1207
00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:08,180
Like, can you upscale that?
1208
00:59:08,180 --> 00:59:11,500
And does it really work at these large scales?
1209
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:15,260
Or do you have to stand up for injustice?
1210
00:59:18,460 --> 00:59:22,060
So I absolutely love that question
1211
00:59:22,060 --> 00:59:26,860
because this is something that I've just recently said,
1212
00:59:26,860 --> 00:59:28,260
like sort of solidified like,
1213
00:59:28,260 --> 00:59:29,660
no, this is what I believe.
1214
00:59:29,660 --> 00:59:34,660
I believe the answer is yes.
1215
00:59:36,540 --> 00:59:41,540
However, I do not believe we're gonna change anything by,
1216
00:59:43,740 --> 00:59:45,420
and I got in trouble for saying this before,
1217
00:59:45,420 --> 00:59:47,500
but I don't think anything's gonna change
1218
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:50,820
by writing our congressmen or our senators,
1219
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:57,380
by doing the things that we kind of do
1220
00:59:57,380 --> 01:00:01,020
to feel like we're doing something,
1221
01:00:01,020 --> 01:00:04,580
but that doesn't really change anything.
1222
01:00:04,580 --> 01:00:05,420
Right.
1223
01:00:08,340 --> 01:00:09,540
For instance, like there's people,
1224
01:00:09,540 --> 01:00:11,940
like all the protests for Palestine and stuff,
1225
01:00:11,940 --> 01:00:13,620
that's great, great.
1226
01:00:13,620 --> 01:00:16,300
But you know what would be, in my opinion, better.
1227
01:00:16,300 --> 01:00:21,180
And I understand not everybody has the ability to do this,
1228
01:00:21,180 --> 01:00:22,940
but go there.
1229
01:00:22,940 --> 01:00:27,940
And work as a humanitarian person,
1230
01:00:28,700 --> 01:00:30,180
put some action behind the thing.
1231
01:00:30,180 --> 01:00:32,980
I think SNL did a thing like where people were going
1232
01:00:32,980 --> 01:00:35,740
to a protest and they were stopping at a taco truck.
1233
01:00:37,540 --> 01:00:38,660
And like before that,
1234
01:00:38,660 --> 01:00:41,860
but people gotta do what's right for them.
1235
01:00:41,860 --> 01:00:46,340
But I think the fight is not out that way.
1236
01:00:46,340 --> 01:00:48,620
I think the fight is this way.
1237
01:00:48,620 --> 01:00:53,300
So I think that I can help be a change in the world,
1238
01:00:53,300 --> 01:00:56,860
not by telling everybody what I think
1239
01:00:56,860 --> 01:01:01,860
and what I believe and what's right and what's wrong,
1240
01:01:02,060 --> 01:01:05,900
but by making sure that I am the brightest light
1241
01:01:05,900 --> 01:01:09,580
that I possibly can be connecting with other people.
1242
01:01:09,580 --> 01:01:12,180
Like, I mean, the way that we found each other,
1243
01:01:14,340 --> 01:01:18,500
which then like Fridays, we came out,
1244
01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:19,540
I was exhausted.
1245
01:01:19,540 --> 01:01:21,180
I am like, why'd awake right now?
1246
01:01:21,180 --> 01:01:23,460
I am so full of energy, dude.
1247
01:01:23,460 --> 01:01:26,780
Because that's what you do, like fire feeds itself.
1248
01:01:28,980 --> 01:01:31,740
And that's how it'll change.
1249
01:01:31,740 --> 01:01:36,740
So for me, my message of love, consciousness,
1250
01:01:37,740 --> 01:01:39,740
being fucking nice to people
1251
01:01:39,740 --> 01:01:41,900
because it's not a trauma response,
1252
01:01:42,780 --> 01:01:45,660
not allowing ourselves to be walked on
1253
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:50,180
or if you see someone else being treated horribly,
1254
01:01:50,180 --> 01:01:52,460
not saying something.
1255
01:01:52,460 --> 01:01:55,900
I mean, I'm like 48,
1256
01:01:55,900 --> 01:02:00,500
and like the proudest moment of my 48th year
1257
01:02:00,500 --> 01:02:02,740
was I got into a fight.
1258
01:02:03,980 --> 01:02:08,460
It was at pool and it was some other people,
1259
01:02:08,460 --> 01:02:11,860
but I was trying to break it up or just separate people,
1260
01:02:11,860 --> 01:02:14,620
but it was like, the fight or flight
1261
01:02:14,620 --> 01:02:16,140
had taken over these guys and they were like,
1262
01:02:16,140 --> 01:02:18,060
I don't care if I get arrested and go to jail,
1263
01:02:18,060 --> 01:02:19,500
I'll get out of jail and come to your house
1264
01:02:19,500 --> 01:02:20,500
and kick your ass again.
1265
01:02:20,500 --> 01:02:23,180
And I'm just like, dude, you guys think you're tough,
1266
01:02:23,180 --> 01:02:25,260
but you're just little chihuahuas like shaking.
1267
01:02:25,260 --> 01:02:28,580
You know, but you think you're tough.
1268
01:02:28,580 --> 01:02:31,060
And then there's one dude grabbed a girl,
1269
01:02:31,060 --> 01:02:32,060
grabbed a girl's wrist.
1270
01:02:32,060 --> 01:02:35,500
And when I heard that, I was like, we're done.
1271
01:02:35,500 --> 01:02:40,500
And I just, I take karate online.
1272
01:02:41,220 --> 01:02:43,380
So my online set, I'm joking.
1273
01:02:43,380 --> 01:02:44,980
That's from the office, remember?
1274
01:02:45,980 --> 01:02:47,380
My online sensei.
1275
01:02:49,500 --> 01:02:52,540
But just from watching years and years at WWE,
1276
01:02:52,540 --> 01:02:56,820
like I hip-tossed the dude and put him on the ground.
1277
01:02:56,820 --> 01:02:59,900
And then I was on top of him and then I was like, we're done.
1278
01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:00,900
I wasn't angry.
1279
01:03:00,900 --> 01:03:01,740
I wasn't mad.
1280
01:03:01,740 --> 01:03:02,580
I was like, we're done.
1281
01:03:02,580 --> 01:03:04,460
And that stopped the altercation.
1282
01:03:05,620 --> 01:03:10,620
Now, unfortunately, the next day, I couldn't move.
1283
01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,620
Like the right side of my body hurts so bad.
1284
01:03:13,620 --> 01:03:16,060
I'm too old for this stuff, you know?
1285
01:03:16,060 --> 01:03:21,060
But so it's having a level of standing up.
1286
01:03:21,060 --> 01:03:24,300
Yeah, there is a point of action
1287
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:26,700
where you stand up for injustice.
1288
01:03:27,820 --> 01:03:32,820
But then when the threat is gone, you back back down,
1289
01:03:33,660 --> 01:03:36,460
you don't keep pursuing that person, right?
1290
01:03:36,460 --> 01:03:39,980
Or that group of people, whatever it is that's happening.
1291
01:03:39,980 --> 01:03:44,020
Yeah, there's no need.
1292
01:03:44,020 --> 01:03:47,220
Sadguru in one of his books wrote this story
1293
01:03:47,220 --> 01:03:51,180
about the Buddha when he was one of his past incarnations,
1294
01:03:51,180 --> 01:03:52,660
he was a bear.
1295
01:03:52,660 --> 01:03:55,300
And so the hunter was digging a hole, a trap,
1296
01:03:55,300 --> 01:03:56,860
and he fell in it, got stuck.
1297
01:03:56,860 --> 01:03:58,660
And this bear comes along and the hunter's like,
1298
01:03:58,660 --> 01:04:02,100
can you get me out of here?
1299
01:04:02,100 --> 01:04:02,940
I'm gonna die in here.
1300
01:04:02,940 --> 01:04:06,500
So the bear starts rolling all these massive boulders
1301
01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:10,060
into the hole and the guy's able to climb out.
1302
01:04:10,060 --> 01:04:12,820
And the guy said, I'm lost, can you lead me out of the woods?
1303
01:04:12,820 --> 01:04:15,980
And the Buddha bear was like, yeah,
1304
01:04:15,980 --> 01:04:17,540
but I'm tired from moving all these boulders.
1305
01:04:17,540 --> 01:04:21,580
Let me sleep for a minute and then I'll bring you out.
1306
01:04:21,580 --> 01:04:25,660
So while the bear was sleeping, the hunter decided,
1307
01:04:25,660 --> 01:04:29,740
I can find my way out eventually with nothing
1308
01:04:29,740 --> 01:04:33,140
or have this bear lead me out and I'll have nothing
1309
01:04:33,140 --> 01:04:37,500
or I can find my way out, kill the bear and have the pelt.
1310
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:41,500
So he picked up the biggest rock that he could lift.
1311
01:04:42,580 --> 01:04:44,100
And while the Buddha bear was sleeping,
1312
01:04:44,100 --> 01:04:45,500
he smashed it on his head.
1313
01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:50,580
And the Buddha bear woke up, got up on the back paws,
1314
01:04:50,580 --> 01:04:53,420
you know, like standing like 10 feet tall.
1315
01:04:53,420 --> 01:04:54,820
And the guy was like, don't kill me,
1316
01:04:54,820 --> 01:04:56,700
don't kill me, don't kill me.
1317
01:04:56,700 --> 01:04:58,620
And the bear just looked at him and he said,
1318
01:04:58,620 --> 01:05:00,460
you already got your punishment, man.
1319
01:05:00,460 --> 01:05:03,020
And he just turned around and walked into the woods
1320
01:05:03,020 --> 01:05:04,540
and left the guy there.
1321
01:05:04,540 --> 01:05:09,140
And the punishment was the guy to do that,
1322
01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:13,820
to act in that way, to try to take the bear's life
1323
01:05:13,820 --> 01:05:16,860
when he wasn't looking, almost like a sucker punch type thing.
1324
01:05:18,060 --> 01:05:20,060
Internally, that guy's miserable.
1325
01:05:21,260 --> 01:05:25,260
I truly believe that we will not change the world
1326
01:05:25,260 --> 01:05:28,340
because the powers that be are too,
1327
01:05:28,340 --> 01:05:31,740
the hold is too strong,
1328
01:05:31,740 --> 01:05:35,700
that we will not change the world by external means.
1329
01:05:35,700 --> 01:05:40,380
But we can change the world by changing our internal state
1330
01:05:40,380 --> 01:05:42,620
and connecting that with more people.
1331
01:05:42,620 --> 01:05:43,460
Yeah.
1332
01:05:48,020 --> 01:05:50,900
What I thought of when you said that was,
1333
01:05:50,900 --> 01:05:55,100
you were talking about shining bright earlier,
1334
01:05:55,100 --> 01:05:59,460
and it's almost like if I shine at my brightest,
1335
01:05:59,460 --> 01:06:03,900
that's when all the darkness becomes more apparent around me.
1336
01:06:03,900 --> 01:06:06,420
Because that's what the bear did, right?
1337
01:06:06,420 --> 01:06:08,420
When I shine it, when I am myself,
1338
01:06:08,420 --> 01:06:10,700
you have to sit with yourself.
1339
01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:11,540
Yeah.
1340
01:06:12,340 --> 01:06:14,340
Yeah, and I think that's powerful.
1341
01:06:14,340 --> 01:06:18,580
Yeah, I was talking online with some folks about,
1342
01:06:18,580 --> 01:06:21,180
you know, world peace and how to change the world and stuff.
1343
01:06:21,180 --> 01:06:24,660
And someone said, kind of similar what you said, right?
1344
01:06:24,660 --> 01:06:29,660
Like, you can build islands of peace, love, compassion,
1345
01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:32,660
and then the hope is eventually those islands get bigger
1346
01:06:32,660 --> 01:06:35,860
and then maybe they connect and then, right,
1347
01:06:35,860 --> 01:06:38,660
but that's growing it from inside out,
1348
01:06:38,660 --> 01:06:42,940
versus trying to dismantle this system that is so broken,
1349
01:06:42,940 --> 01:06:46,380
that has such a strong hold on the way things are right now.
1350
01:06:47,700 --> 01:06:50,220
Have you ever heard of, I don't know what it's called,
1351
01:06:50,220 --> 01:06:51,820
I call it the 1% rule.
1352
01:06:51,820 --> 01:06:52,660
I don't know.
1353
01:06:57,380 --> 01:06:59,420
Don't take any of this as like fact,
1354
01:06:59,420 --> 01:07:02,020
this is all gonna be like, you know,
1355
01:07:02,020 --> 01:07:04,540
paraphrased from my memory,
1356
01:07:04,540 --> 01:07:07,420
but I believe what they were trying to do
1357
01:07:07,420 --> 01:07:08,860
is they were trying to cool,
1358
01:07:08,860 --> 01:07:12,260
scientists were trying to cool helium down to absolute zero.
1359
01:07:14,060 --> 01:07:18,180
Like zero Kelvin, I guess, like they would use.
1360
01:07:18,180 --> 01:07:19,900
And while they were doing it,
1361
01:07:19,900 --> 01:07:22,620
they were trying to get it out to absolute zero,
1362
01:07:22,620 --> 01:07:26,380
so that's not to 1% above that absolute zero.
1363
01:07:26,380 --> 01:07:28,660
Something magical happened.
1364
01:07:28,660 --> 01:07:31,060
All of the atoms in that helium
1365
01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:36,500
became like symmetrically, all lined up beautifully,
1366
01:07:37,700 --> 01:07:41,940
you know, like in neat rows and columns,
1367
01:07:41,940 --> 01:07:45,300
like everything was just perfectly in line.
1368
01:07:45,300 --> 01:07:46,860
And that's how they became,
1369
01:07:46,860 --> 01:07:50,100
I believe, I hope I'm not butchering it too much,
1370
01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:54,420
but then like the consciousness people took that
1371
01:07:54,420 --> 01:07:56,140
and started looking at,
1372
01:07:56,140 --> 01:07:58,460
if we can raise the consciousness of 1%
1373
01:07:58,460 --> 01:08:01,300
of the people of an area, what would that do?
1374
01:08:01,300 --> 01:08:02,740
And they had done some studies,
1375
01:08:02,740 --> 01:08:04,380
and I forget the cities they did it in,
1376
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,260
but you know, where they had people that, you know,
1377
01:08:07,260 --> 01:08:10,020
would join them and getting like a 1%
1378
01:08:10,020 --> 01:08:13,420
of the population of the city to start meditating,
1379
01:08:13,420 --> 01:08:16,380
focusing on gratitude, focusing on love,
1380
01:08:16,380 --> 01:08:19,340
focusing on just positive things, you know?
1381
01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:21,380
And again, not living, walking around with our heads
1382
01:08:21,380 --> 01:08:23,620
in the clouds, woo woo, you know, if something bad happens,
1383
01:08:23,620 --> 01:08:25,140
yeah, that sucks, you know,
1384
01:08:25,140 --> 01:08:27,380
but living the majority of our lives
1385
01:08:27,380 --> 01:08:29,700
in those positive states.
1386
01:08:29,700 --> 01:08:31,900
And what they found was crime went down,
1387
01:08:33,260 --> 01:08:38,260
there was so many beneficial responses
1388
01:08:40,220 --> 01:08:42,260
to 1% of the population of a city,
1389
01:08:42,260 --> 01:08:45,340
not doing anything except raising their level
1390
01:08:45,340 --> 01:08:46,900
of consciousness.
1391
01:08:46,900 --> 01:08:49,900
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I know there's been tons
1392
01:08:49,900 --> 01:08:53,260
of experiments with, you know, the random number generators
1393
01:08:53,260 --> 01:08:54,580
and different types of things like that,
1394
01:08:54,580 --> 01:08:57,340
where consciousness can change that.
1395
01:08:57,340 --> 01:09:00,180
I also really love the idea of,
1396
01:09:00,180 --> 01:09:05,020
and this is sort of like a nerdy D&D sort of way of thinking
1397
01:09:05,020 --> 01:09:08,900
that there's different roles, like it's good
1398
01:09:08,900 --> 01:09:11,060
that there is warriors out there,
1399
01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:14,220
like fighting in Congress and trying to change laws,
1400
01:09:14,220 --> 01:09:18,380
and this and that, but the fact that I'm not a warrior
1401
01:09:18,380 --> 01:09:20,820
doesn't make me less than, right?
1402
01:09:20,820 --> 01:09:25,020
That my role as, you know, being home and focusing
1403
01:09:25,020 --> 01:09:27,140
on my own consciousness or being back at camp,
1404
01:09:27,140 --> 01:09:28,740
making people food or being right,
1405
01:09:28,740 --> 01:09:31,020
that we all have roles to play
1406
01:09:31,020 --> 01:09:36,020
and they're all equal needed necessary roles, right?
1407
01:09:36,620 --> 01:09:39,740
I think that's another valuable thing,
1408
01:09:39,740 --> 01:09:44,740
because I know, you know, I've such a huge heart for humanity
1409
01:09:44,740 --> 01:09:47,380
and humans and I so wanna see the world
1410
01:09:47,380 --> 01:09:52,380
a more compassionate place, but I am not a warrior, right?
1411
01:09:53,100 --> 01:09:58,100
And sometimes I think I get confused about
1412
01:09:58,100 --> 01:10:03,100
how to own my own warriorship in the ways that are true to me.
1413
01:10:03,100 --> 01:10:08,100
Like what is authentic warriorship look like for Mindy?
1414
01:10:09,780 --> 01:10:14,780
Yeah, even that word, I got to the point like where
1415
01:10:15,740 --> 01:10:18,740
I got so tired of hearing the word warrior,
1416
01:10:19,740 --> 01:10:22,580
because it was one of those words like,
1417
01:10:22,580 --> 01:10:27,580
they romanticized war, and then romanticized the warrior.
1418
01:10:27,580 --> 01:10:28,420
Yeah.
1419
01:10:29,660 --> 01:10:33,300
And then romanticized the warrior, you know,
1420
01:10:33,300 --> 01:10:36,620
so all these movies that we see, you know, like.
1421
01:10:36,620 --> 01:10:39,940
Yeah, it's hugely romanticized, yeah.
1422
01:10:39,940 --> 01:10:44,940
And it's a lot different from watching a war movie.
1423
01:10:46,340 --> 01:10:49,140
Well, you've actually, yeah, been in it, so you know.
1424
01:10:49,140 --> 01:10:49,980
Like.
1425
01:10:49,980 --> 01:10:52,900
Yeah, like, like, lone survivor, you know,
1426
01:10:52,900 --> 01:10:55,220
like when I watched that movie, like,
1427
01:10:55,220 --> 01:10:57,780
I feel those stirrings again, like, oh man,
1428
01:10:57,780 --> 01:10:59,460
I loved doing that, you know,
1429
01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:02,260
and I was never in anything like that, you know,
1430
01:11:02,260 --> 01:11:07,180
but in those moments, those guys were operating off of
1431
01:11:08,140 --> 01:11:11,940
pure fear and terror.
1432
01:11:11,940 --> 01:11:13,740
And I'm not saying, like, again,
1433
01:11:13,740 --> 01:11:15,540
we think of those things as like, oh, you're weak,
1434
01:11:15,540 --> 01:11:18,740
you're afraid, no, that's what the military does.
1435
01:11:18,740 --> 01:11:20,220
That's the training that happens.
1436
01:11:20,220 --> 01:11:24,260
They train it into your automatic responses.
1437
01:11:24,260 --> 01:11:26,460
So that you can be feeling that stuff,
1438
01:11:26,460 --> 01:11:29,900
compartmentalize it and still get the job done.
1439
01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:32,060
But throwing yourself off mountains
1440
01:11:32,060 --> 01:11:35,180
and getting shot 20 times and making it through.
1441
01:11:35,180 --> 01:11:38,740
Yeah, that's great, but it's gonna leave scars.
1442
01:11:38,740 --> 01:11:42,740
It's not just gonna be a thing of, like, you know,
1443
01:11:42,740 --> 01:11:44,980
once it's done, like, yeah, I'm proud,
1444
01:11:44,980 --> 01:11:47,420
it's pretty cool, you know, I'm a warrior, you know,
1445
01:11:47,420 --> 01:11:50,900
and then now you have courses for warriors, you know,
1446
01:11:50,900 --> 01:11:53,460
so if you're like, you're a businessman, you know,
1447
01:11:53,460 --> 01:11:55,620
that the only time you step on grass
1448
01:11:55,620 --> 01:11:56,740
or you're out in the woods is like,
1449
01:11:56,740 --> 01:11:58,260
when you go to Central Park or something,
1450
01:11:58,260 --> 01:12:00,060
you know, for your daily walk.
1451
01:12:00,060 --> 01:12:03,300
And but you can give me 50 grand
1452
01:12:03,300 --> 01:12:07,220
and I'll yell and scream at you for a week.
1453
01:12:07,220 --> 01:12:10,660
And then on Saturday, you'll jump out of a helicopter
1454
01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:14,420
10 feet above a lake and we're gonna call you warriors now.
1455
01:12:14,420 --> 01:12:15,260
Yeah.
1456
01:12:15,260 --> 01:12:16,820
You know, even the fact like, like,
1457
01:12:16,820 --> 01:12:17,660
Lao, Lao,
1458
01:12:18,940 --> 01:12:19,780
Azu?
1459
01:12:19,780 --> 01:12:20,940
Yeah, Azu.
1460
01:12:20,940 --> 01:12:24,100
Yeah, who wrote the art award?
1461
01:12:24,100 --> 01:12:26,020
Is that, Lao's right?
1462
01:12:26,020 --> 01:12:28,220
Yeah, so the art award, like one of the first copies
1463
01:12:28,220 --> 01:12:31,900
I got of it was all the notes were about
1464
01:12:31,900 --> 01:12:33,620
how to apply this to business.
1465
01:12:34,940 --> 01:12:37,460
I'm like, why can't business just be business?
1466
01:12:37,460 --> 01:12:38,340
Yeah.
1467
01:12:38,340 --> 01:12:40,540
And like, why do we have to be a warrior
1468
01:12:40,540 --> 01:12:42,580
in everything that we do?
1469
01:12:42,580 --> 01:12:47,580
You know, so that part, and I'm grateful for the people
1470
01:12:47,580 --> 01:12:51,300
that have that ability to be on those front lines
1471
01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:54,580
and to be in that, but I wasn't that dude.
1472
01:12:54,580 --> 01:12:56,540
You know, I did my time I got out
1473
01:12:56,540 --> 01:12:58,660
because like I was not that dude.
1474
01:13:01,980 --> 01:13:06,980
But what that does is it makes us look at our roles
1475
01:13:07,060 --> 01:13:12,060
as less than glorified warrior status.
1476
01:13:13,260 --> 01:13:14,860
Yeah.
1477
01:13:14,860 --> 01:13:19,860
And it also shows how that might have contributed
1478
01:13:21,100 --> 01:13:25,380
to people's sort of fight nature in our culture, right?
1479
01:13:25,380 --> 01:13:26,220
Yeah.
1480
01:13:26,220 --> 01:13:29,540
You feel like, I'm a warrior for my opinion, right?
1481
01:13:29,540 --> 01:13:33,020
That sort of, yeah, I think that is something
1482
01:13:33,020 --> 01:13:35,140
I'm gonna take a deeper look at.
1483
01:13:35,140 --> 01:13:37,580
Like, what do I really think about
1484
01:13:37,580 --> 01:13:39,580
that concept of being a warrior?
1485
01:13:39,580 --> 01:13:41,340
Is it necessary in the world?
1486
01:13:41,340 --> 01:13:42,340
What does it really mean?
1487
01:13:42,340 --> 01:13:43,940
Who do you have to be to be that?
1488
01:13:43,940 --> 01:13:47,540
Right, I think that's an interesting exploration.
1489
01:13:47,540 --> 01:13:49,820
Yeah, so I just thought a while ago,
1490
01:13:49,820 --> 01:13:52,140
like, you know, people that wanna be a warrior, great,
1491
01:13:52,140 --> 01:13:55,980
be a warrior, I'm fucking cosmic dude.
1492
01:13:55,980 --> 01:13:56,820
Yeah.
1493
01:13:56,820 --> 01:14:00,500
Like I wanna be so far above, and again,
1494
01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:02,420
not because like I'm so great,
1495
01:14:02,420 --> 01:14:06,540
but because that's where I find my peace.
1496
01:14:06,540 --> 01:14:10,940
One of the things with the military is when you come home,
1497
01:14:10,940 --> 01:14:13,300
no matter what your experiences are, war,
1498
01:14:13,300 --> 01:14:16,140
you know, peacetime, whatever it is,
1499
01:14:16,140 --> 01:14:17,020
or even like mine,
1500
01:14:17,020 --> 01:14:19,460
where it's kind of like in between war and peacetime,
1501
01:14:19,460 --> 01:14:24,460
you know, and you don't feel like you belong.
1502
01:14:27,140 --> 01:14:30,020
You know, the jokes, the how you carry yourself
1503
01:14:30,020 --> 01:14:35,020
is not accepted as normal and right in the civilian world.
1504
01:14:36,260 --> 01:14:39,620
So you're a civilian, but you still have
1505
01:14:39,620 --> 01:14:41,580
the military culture, so what you learn to do
1506
01:14:41,580 --> 01:14:43,900
is put a mask on and over time,
1507
01:14:43,900 --> 01:14:46,820
that mask begins to crack and you start filling it
1508
01:14:46,820 --> 01:14:49,060
with alcohol, with drugs and all this stuff
1509
01:14:49,060 --> 01:14:51,980
that just makes it worse and worse and worse and worse,
1510
01:14:51,980 --> 01:14:54,700
because you can't be you.
1511
01:14:54,700 --> 01:14:55,620
Yeah.
1512
01:14:55,620 --> 01:15:00,620
And when I think of, I am cosmic,
1513
01:15:00,620 --> 01:15:04,020
like I'm just above that floating,
1514
01:15:04,020 --> 01:15:09,020
it feels so peaceful and I get there from time to time,
1515
01:15:09,020 --> 01:15:11,500
but I wanna learn how to live in that state.
1516
01:15:11,500 --> 01:15:14,060
And I don't know, maybe that's impossible to do,
1517
01:15:15,700 --> 01:15:18,020
but that's where I wanna live.
1518
01:15:19,100 --> 01:15:20,940
Yeah, I kind of think it's,
1519
01:15:20,940 --> 01:15:22,180
I don't know if this is right or not,
1520
01:15:22,180 --> 01:15:23,860
this is just the way I'm seeing it today,
1521
01:15:23,860 --> 01:15:27,940
like, you know, we all have all these parts of us, right?
1522
01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:32,940
And living just in one part is unhealthy
1523
01:15:33,060 --> 01:15:34,580
and that's what we're talking about with warrior.
1524
01:15:34,580 --> 01:15:36,540
I'm just a warrior, right?
1525
01:15:36,540 --> 01:15:38,340
I'm just a mom, I'm just to this,
1526
01:15:38,340 --> 01:15:41,620
I'm just to that, like, instead of having all the voices,
1527
01:15:41,620 --> 01:15:43,740
oh, here's my inner child, here's my inner warrior,
1528
01:15:43,740 --> 01:15:46,180
here's my inner, whatever it is,
1529
01:15:46,180 --> 01:15:47,700
but then I think you're right,
1530
01:15:47,700 --> 01:15:49,540
there's something above that,
1531
01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:52,580
when it's just consciousness and you're like,
1532
01:15:52,580 --> 01:15:54,100
all those things are the same thing,
1533
01:15:54,100 --> 01:15:56,540
that's so funny that they're pretending to be different,
1534
01:15:56,540 --> 01:15:58,540
right, and you're everything.
1535
01:15:59,700 --> 01:16:01,340
And that's sort of what you're talking,
1536
01:16:01,340 --> 01:16:03,660
but so it makes me curious in two ways.
1537
01:16:03,660 --> 01:16:06,940
One is like, ooh, that's actually unhealthy,
1538
01:16:06,940 --> 01:16:10,620
like this full identity with warrior-ship,
1539
01:16:10,620 --> 01:16:12,660
and that's what you're describing when you come back
1540
01:16:12,660 --> 01:16:14,180
and you don't have any other parts
1541
01:16:14,180 --> 01:16:15,340
of your personality developed,
1542
01:16:15,340 --> 01:16:17,100
so you can't fit into the world.
1543
01:16:18,740 --> 01:16:21,780
But then, yeah, even after you learn to see
1544
01:16:21,780 --> 01:16:23,540
all the different parts of you,
1545
01:16:23,540 --> 01:16:26,500
then there's still this other juicy, wonderful step
1546
01:16:27,540 --> 01:16:30,500
of just, you know, being with the stars,
1547
01:16:30,500 --> 01:16:33,100
being everything and nothing all at the same time.
1548
01:16:33,100 --> 01:16:35,500
Yeah, because that's where my brain goes into this place
1549
01:16:35,500 --> 01:16:39,380
of where, okay, so there is no center of the universe.
1550
01:16:39,380 --> 01:16:43,620
The center of the universe is based off
1551
01:16:43,620 --> 01:16:46,300
of the point of observation,
1552
01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:49,380
which means I am nothing.
1553
01:16:49,380 --> 01:16:52,340
I'm just this dude in Newington, Connecticut
1554
01:16:52,340 --> 01:16:55,980
that smokes weed and talks to my phone, you know what I mean?
1555
01:16:55,980 --> 01:16:57,780
But I'm also the center of the universe,
1556
01:16:57,780 --> 01:16:59,940
I'm the most important thing here.
1557
01:16:59,940 --> 01:17:04,540
At the same time, you know, and it's in the same way for you,
1558
01:17:04,540 --> 01:17:08,020
you know, like we're nothing and everything at the same.
1559
01:17:08,020 --> 01:17:09,660
You are the center of the universe.
1560
01:17:09,660 --> 01:17:14,660
So you, like, if you decide, like, all right,
1561
01:17:15,220 --> 01:17:16,700
my purpose is like, all right,
1562
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:20,300
or what I'm gonna start doing is like to act
1563
01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:21,980
on my compassion, my care,
1564
01:17:21,980 --> 01:17:24,180
I'm gonna start working at a soup kitchen,
1565
01:17:24,180 --> 01:17:26,820
you know, on the weekends, volunteer and stuff like that.
1566
01:17:26,820 --> 01:17:30,180
Then that means since you are the observer of the universe,
1567
01:17:30,180 --> 01:17:31,700
which means you are the center of it,
1568
01:17:31,700 --> 01:17:33,540
that means to the universe,
1569
01:17:33,540 --> 01:17:36,340
that is the most important action that has ever been taken.
1570
01:17:38,020 --> 01:17:41,140
But then for somebody else that is the warrior,
1571
01:17:41,140 --> 01:17:43,940
like a legit freaking warrior.
1572
01:17:43,940 --> 01:17:44,700
Right.
1573
01:17:44,700 --> 01:17:46,860
Since they're the center of the universe,
1574
01:17:46,860 --> 01:17:47,900
at the same time,
1575
01:17:47,900 --> 01:17:51,140
what they're doing is the most important thing, you know?
1576
01:17:51,140 --> 01:17:53,700
But imagine if we can learn to live
1577
01:17:53,700 --> 01:17:56,540
where our consciousness takes these other characters
1578
01:17:56,540 --> 01:18:00,180
of our personality and kind of uses them as like a marionette,
1579
01:18:00,180 --> 01:18:01,020
you know what I mean?
1580
01:18:01,020 --> 01:18:03,060
Just kind of controls the strings and stuff,
1581
01:18:03,060 --> 01:18:05,820
but it's the consciousness that's in control
1582
01:18:05,820 --> 01:18:07,540
and not the character.
1583
01:18:07,540 --> 01:18:08,420
Yes.
1584
01:18:08,420 --> 01:18:09,260
Yeah.
1585
01:18:09,260 --> 01:18:11,900
That's I think a beautiful description of quote unquote,
1586
01:18:11,900 --> 01:18:13,260
enlightenment, right?
1587
01:18:13,260 --> 01:18:17,500
Like recognizing that this is all a play
1588
01:18:17,500 --> 01:18:19,100
and it's not really real.
1589
01:18:19,100 --> 01:18:21,060
Yeah.
1590
01:18:21,060 --> 01:18:21,980
Dude, one of the things,
1591
01:18:21,980 --> 01:18:24,300
oh man, Neil DeGrasse Tyson was talking about this,
1592
01:18:24,300 --> 01:18:27,300
like we have never interacted with the outside world.
1593
01:18:28,460 --> 01:18:31,140
Meaning like what does that mean?
1594
01:18:31,140 --> 01:18:34,220
Means that everything that we've ever done in life
1595
01:18:34,220 --> 01:18:35,540
has always been internal, right?
1596
01:18:35,540 --> 01:18:39,420
So I'm looking at this screen and seeing it,
1597
01:18:39,420 --> 01:18:42,660
but my eyes are just seeing colors and shapes up
1598
01:18:42,660 --> 01:18:46,100
and my brain is decoding that and making this reality.
1599
01:18:46,100 --> 01:18:48,940
Your voice is sending out sound waves,
1600
01:18:48,940 --> 01:18:51,020
you know, that my ears are bringing to my brain,
1601
01:18:51,020 --> 01:18:51,980
my brain's decoding.
1602
01:18:51,980 --> 01:18:53,460
And I'm like, I understand that.
1603
01:18:53,460 --> 01:18:57,220
Like if you were speaking any other language, but English,
1604
01:18:57,220 --> 01:19:00,100
I would have no freaking clue what you were saying.
1605
01:19:00,100 --> 01:19:03,060
You know, my brain isn't coded for that.
1606
01:19:03,060 --> 01:19:05,260
And then like, all right, here's,
1607
01:19:06,300 --> 01:19:07,780
I'm holding this pen.
1608
01:19:07,780 --> 01:19:10,140
I can feel it, I can feel its weight and stuff.
1609
01:19:10,140 --> 01:19:13,460
But if you look, if we had an atomic microscope
1610
01:19:13,460 --> 01:19:16,820
and we looked at the space in between my pen and the finger,
1611
01:19:16,820 --> 01:19:18,380
the pen would be floating
1612
01:19:18,380 --> 01:19:21,060
because the atoms in the pen are repelled
1613
01:19:21,060 --> 01:19:23,700
by the atoms in my finger, their different polarity.
1614
01:19:23,700 --> 01:19:27,780
So all of that feeling is the electromagnetic force
1615
01:19:27,780 --> 01:19:29,540
that's pushing in on my finger.
1616
01:19:29,540 --> 01:19:32,180
We've never interacted with the outside world.
1617
01:19:32,180 --> 01:19:34,500
Everything is internal.
1618
01:19:34,500 --> 01:19:36,940
That's where the fight is.
1619
01:19:36,940 --> 01:19:41,940
That's where the change can happen to go in.
1620
01:19:42,100 --> 01:19:45,660
Yeah, beautifully said, really well said.
1621
01:19:46,500 --> 01:19:48,580
That was a really great hour.
1622
01:19:48,580 --> 01:19:52,380
I think that was a juicy conversation.
1623
01:19:52,380 --> 01:19:55,060
I think this is like one of my favorite ones
1624
01:19:55,060 --> 01:19:58,380
because I love this stuff.
1625
01:19:58,380 --> 01:20:03,380
I wanna learn how to live in that higher state.
1626
01:20:06,180 --> 01:20:08,660
So bad, because I'll have this conversation
1627
01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:11,380
and in 20 minutes, I'll stub my toe
1628
01:20:11,380 --> 01:20:14,180
and I'll be like, my life sucks, why am I light?
1629
01:20:14,180 --> 01:20:15,660
And it'll be like, I'll be right back
1630
01:20:15,660 --> 01:20:17,860
into the cycle of fucking feelings, man.
1631
01:20:19,460 --> 01:20:21,820
Yeah, so bizarre, huh?
1632
01:20:21,820 --> 01:20:23,260
Right, yeah.
1633
01:20:23,260 --> 01:20:27,180
Cool, being a human is just so cool.
1634
01:20:27,180 --> 01:20:28,020
Yeah.
1635
01:20:29,620 --> 01:20:33,140
All right, thank you everybody for the investigation today.
1636
01:20:33,140 --> 01:20:34,780
Thank you, Keith, for the investigation.
1637
01:20:34,780 --> 01:20:38,380
That was helpful to me in managing everything
1638
01:20:38,380 --> 01:20:41,860
that I am going through in my life right now.
1639
01:20:41,860 --> 01:20:44,420
And the most beautiful thing is like the synchronicities
1640
01:20:44,420 --> 01:20:49,340
because I was down yesterday, bad.
1641
01:20:49,340 --> 01:20:52,780
And this is such a reminder of all the stuff
1642
01:20:52,780 --> 01:20:55,580
that I fell in love with that helped me
1643
01:20:55,580 --> 01:20:58,980
begin to make the changes I had to make in my life.
1644
01:20:58,980 --> 01:21:00,220
Yeah, yeah.
1645
01:21:00,220 --> 01:21:01,820
So thanks for bringing that up.
1646
01:21:02,700 --> 01:21:03,980
Wow, all right, cool.
1647
01:21:03,980 --> 01:21:08,140
Well, we'll see all you guys next week and,
1648
01:21:08,140 --> 01:21:11,580
oh well, hold on a second, sorry,
1649
01:21:11,580 --> 01:21:14,140
I'm doing the wrong buttons here, guys.
1650
01:21:14,140 --> 01:21:15,740
Bye guys, stop recording.
1651
01:21:17,820 --> 01:21:21,140
Thank you for listening to the Chasing Thoughts podcast.
1652
01:21:21,140 --> 01:21:23,740
Please support us by liking, subscribing
1653
01:21:23,740 --> 01:21:25,580
or leaving a review or comment.
1654
01:21:25,580 --> 01:21:27,460
We would really appreciate it.
1655
01:21:27,460 --> 01:21:28,700
If you'd like to be a guest,
1656
01:21:28,700 --> 01:21:30,380
we would love to explore life
1657
01:21:30,380 --> 01:21:32,180
and what it means to be human with you.
1658
01:21:32,180 --> 01:21:54,180
Please email us at chasingthoughtspodcast at gmail.com.
