Walking Through Faith: Jennifer Walker's MS Journey

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This file was generated by Descript
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Welcome to Chapter and Verse, where people
tell real stories about faith, failure,
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redemption, and those "Lord, I'm gonna
need you to explain this one" moments.
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Some stories are inspiring, some
are messy, some are miraculous,
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and some probably should have
come with a warning label.
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But through every chapter of
every story, God has a plan.
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And he's never been
afraid of a little chaos.
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We're Jill.
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And Kerrye.
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Let's turn the page
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Okay, so we're here with our
good friend Jennifer Walker.
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Jennifer, welcome.
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Thank you.
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Welcome, welcome.
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Thank you for having me.
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Happy that you're here today.
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Um, tell us a little bit about yourself.
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Mkay.
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I've grown up in church
all my life pretty much.
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My dad started pastoring a
church when I was four years old.
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Oh, wow.
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Uh, so my dad has been in the
m- in the ministry all my life.
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That's all I've ever known
was being a preacher's kid.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And it come with the good, but it
also come with a little bit of bad.
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Oh, yeah.
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Mm-hmm.
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Um, but Mom and- 'Cause
people be peopling, you know?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Mom and Dad were both always
real good at separating- Oh
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As much as they could Like normal
… away from us- Mm-hmm … and normal.
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You find out things after
you get a little bit older.
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Mm-hmm.
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You know, that they'll
say- And like …"Well,
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you remember the"…
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And I'm like Like, "Oh,
that was the context?"
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"They did that?"
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Like, oh, wow.
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Scandalous.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And then every once in a while you
find out things, you know, that
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Like one time I was dating a
guy and he didn't show up, and
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I thought, "What is going on?"
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Hmm.
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And so a day went by, no phone
call, no nothing, you know.
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And I'm thinking, I'm heartbroken.
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Yeah.
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Um, and so years later I was talking
to Mom about it, and I was like, "I
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wonder what happened to that guy."
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And she was like, "He called.
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I told him not to call again."
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I was like
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Good for you, Mom.
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Okay.
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Didn't know she had that
in her, but she does.
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Your mom is so- She's like, "You're,
you're happily married now-" Yes.
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"… and it's all great."
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Yes.
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"It's safe to tell you."
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Yes.
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Your mom is so sweet.
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He wasn't the one and we knew it.
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Yeah.
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And soft-spoken.
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I can't imagine her doing that.
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I know.
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It surprised me.
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Yeah.
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Uh, I didn't know she had it in her-
Yeah … but she, she obviously does.
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Do you think she would
come on the podcast?
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She probably would.
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If you and Pam will convince her to do it.
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Oh my gosh, yes please.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I mean, we didn't say, but
you are Pam Turner's sister.
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Yes.
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Yep.
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A family affair.
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Family affair.
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Yep.
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We have one brother.
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Jim.
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Oh, I did not … I didn't
know you had a brother.
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Yeah.
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I didn't know that either.
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Does he live here?
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He's very quiet.
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Oh.
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So he's probably not likely to
come on the pod . Probably not.
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Come on, Jim.
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Yeah.
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He's probably not.
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He's kinda quiet.
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Okay.
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Is he, live around here too?
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Yeah.
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He, he goes to RFA.
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He does?
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Yes.
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He comes- In Wilburn … and he
sits usually with Mom and Katie.
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Okay.
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Is he married to Kathy?
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Yes, Kathy.
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Okay.
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I know him.
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Yeah.
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Because he came to VBS to help one night.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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But- Jim, I know you … okay.
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Yeah.
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He works at JW.
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Okay.
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So he works every other weekend.
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Okay.
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Gotcha.
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So that kind of messes up his … He's
not there every Sunday- Right … because
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he's working every other Sunday.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Now the family's coming, the
family tree is coming together now.
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Yeah.
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I can see it.
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And so, you know, in RFA, we have got a
good little group- Yeah … of family.
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Yes.
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You've got a corner of the, the
church, a corner of The Round Church.
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Jolene, what are you doing?
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Yeah.
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You got a little section of
the sanctuary over there.
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We got a little triangle.
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Yes.
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Yes.You
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got a section of pie.
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Except I think most of them come to
first- Oh … and we come to second.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And so we can't get … Well, we
could get up that early, and we
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generally do, but it's like the one
morning that we don't have to rush.
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Have to rush.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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I get that.
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And, and so Edwin really needs
that little bit of a break.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yeah.
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Because he's generally up by
3:30, 4:00 out the door by then.
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Oh my goodness.
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Be able to sleep in and just relax.
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Yep.
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Yeah.
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Drink his coffee.
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He's like, "I can have more than one cup."
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Yeah.
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Sunday is a day of rest.
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It is.
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It is.
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That's okay.
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It is.
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And we like second service.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It's definitely different.
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I feel like First service
are, are my type of people.
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And I love second service too, but
like I thought if I we- were to
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pick one, I would probably go to
first service because I like to…
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I'm already awake.
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Yeah.
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And you know, we don't have
little kids anymore and I'm
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just like, "Let's go," you know?
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I mean, I'm there for both services,
but like if I was just choosing
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one, I would … Those people are…
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I mean, they're e- they're e- I said
once, y'all even tithe on your time.
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Your first, your first
at church First fruits.
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Yeah, first fruits.
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You're gonna tithe on your time.
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But anyway, but I do enjoy second
'cause it's people are more awake I
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feel like, and like ready to party.
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Yeah.
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You know, like let's party.
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Yeah, ready to worship.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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Ready to get in there.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Well what chapter are you going
to be sharing with us today?
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Oh, I am going to be s- sharing
my story, my biggest story of my
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diagnosis with multiple sclerosis.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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And I say my diagnosis- Mm-hmm
… because one time when me and Pam were
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driving to an appointment, I said
I'm having a hard time saying I have.
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Yeah.
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Mm-hmm.
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I said, "I don't wanna claim it."
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Yeah.
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Right.
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You don't want ownership of it.
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No.
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Yeah.
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And so she's like, "Don't-" Mm-hmm
… say, 'I have been diagnosed with…'
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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Mm-hmm.
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You know, and occasionally I may slip
up, and if she's- Mm-hmm … with
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me she'll be like, "Eh."
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You know?
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She'll put me in my spot and
she's like- The way sisters do.
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"No.
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Don't claim it."
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Mm-hmm.
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You know?
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Yeah, yeah.
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And so usually if I'm on my game- Yeah
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then when someone asks, I'll say, "I have
been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis."
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Right.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Um, so I'm gonna share a little bit
about- Sure … finding out, you know?
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Okay.
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How it come about.
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Um- Okay … so it probably in 2018, um,
it was our 25th anniversary and we went on
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a cruise, our very first cruise to go on.
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Mm-hmm.
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Of course Pam and Joe was there with us.
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Mm-hmm.
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And one of Joe's cousins was there.
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Um, and so we had went on a cruise, and
one of the places we stopped was St.
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Martin Beach- Okay … where
the planes fly in.
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Yes.
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Hmm.
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Yeah.
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And that was all I could talk about, was I
want to see the plane fly over the beach.
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Yeah.
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You know, I wanna be there.
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I wanna see it go over the top of my head.
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Yeah.
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And just if you've never been on
the cru- on a cruise, the water
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is- Mm-hmm … so beautiful.
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Mm-hmm.
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Mm-hmm.
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There is nothing that compares
to the blueness of the water
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in the middle of the ocean.
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Yeah.
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Mm-hmm.
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And I love that.
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Mm-hmm.
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I love that blue water just
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You can see right through it.
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Mm-hmm.
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Mm-hmm.
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Just beauty to me, and I'm like, "Why
isn't the water everywhere like this?"
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Mm-hmm.
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It's so beautiful.
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Yeah.
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Um, and so we are on the cruise,
everything's going well, and we get off
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at the f- first dock, and it was St.
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Martin.
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And so I remember we're walking
up the pier going inland to
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catch a taxi to go to the beach.
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Mm-hmm.
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Um, and so I remember walking, and all
of a sudden I just kinda slowed down, and
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they're like, "What's, what's goin' on?"
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And I'm like, "My legs,
they're tired feeling."
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Hm.
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And t- they were like I, you know what?
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Do you know why they're like that?"
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And I'm like, "No.
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I just feel really weak."
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Mm-hmm.
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And I would feel like if I kept
walking, I was going to possibly trip.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Didn't wanna fall, you know?
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Yeah.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yeah.
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Right out in front of everybody.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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Didn't want to trip, go over the
pier- Right … and be in the water.
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Yep.
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Mm-hmm.
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Um, so I remember just walking, and
so they ended up calling … They
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had some little rickshaw guys.
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Mm-hmm.
00:08:52.610 --> 00:08:54.370
And so they got a little rickshaw.
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I got on that.
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We rode that up to the taxi area.
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Mm-hmm.
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Um, got on that, and we get down to the
beach, and Pam and Edwin are helping me.
00:09:06.640 --> 00:09:06.770
Mm-hmm.
00:09:06.910 --> 00:09:10.480
They're on both sides of me- Mm-hmm
… just letting me kinda hold onto them-
00:09:10.810 --> 00:09:16.360
Mm-hmm … walking along, and it was
really rocky getting down to that area.
00:09:16.370 --> 00:09:16.400
Mm-hmm.
00:09:16.730 --> 00:09:20.520
So climbing over just all
the unsteadiness- Right
00:09:20.520 --> 00:09:22.860
and, and then the sand too.
00:09:22.860 --> 00:09:23.200
Yeah.
00:09:23.220 --> 00:09:23.700
You know?
00:09:23.760 --> 00:09:28.310
Well, yeah, 'cause walking beach
for, you know, an able-bodied,
00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:32.130
not having any issues at all
person is treacherous sometimes.
00:09:32.140 --> 00:09:32.170
Yes.
00:09:32.170 --> 00:09:32.270
Mm-hmm.
00:09:32.270 --> 00:09:34.120
And certainly can take it out of you.
00:09:34.160 --> 00:09:34.620
Yes.
00:09:34.630 --> 00:09:35.050
You know?
00:09:35.060 --> 00:09:39.370
So I can imagine if you're feeling
weak or, like, your he- your legs
00:09:39.370 --> 00:09:40.730
feel heavy or anything like that.
00:09:40.730 --> 00:09:40.787
Yes.
00:09:40.787 --> 00:09:43.220
It would just be damn near impossible.
00:09:43.230 --> 00:09:43.710
It … Right.
00:09:43.750 --> 00:09:44.140
You know?
00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:48.740
And so we get to the beach, and I told
Edwin, I said, "Just let me sit down."
00:09:49.430 --> 00:09:54.460
And so he sat me down, and they
all kind walked over, 'cause a
00:09:54.460 --> 00:09:55.960
plane was starting to come in.
00:09:55.970 --> 00:09:56.000
Mm-hmm.
00:09:56.010 --> 00:09:58.390
So they all walk more to the center.
00:09:58.570 --> 00:09:58.920
Mm-hmm.
00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:03.190
And so I'm just sitting at
the edge in the, in the sand.
00:10:03.590 --> 00:10:05.630
And so the plane comes over.
00:10:05.630 --> 00:10:06.660
We got to see it.
00:10:06.660 --> 00:10:06.820
Mm-hmm.
00:10:06.820 --> 00:10:08.400
It was really, really cool.
00:10:08.730 --> 00:10:08.760
Mm-hmm.
00:10:08.890 --> 00:10:14.380
Um, you could just feel, you know, the
air- Mm-hmm … moving off of that.
00:10:14.820 --> 00:10:16.770
And the fa- Did you feel like it was
close enough you could, like, touch it?
00:10:16.800 --> 00:10:17.720
It felt like that.
00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:18.010
Okay.
00:10:18.020 --> 00:10:21.600
That you could stretch your hand up- Yeah
… and touch the bottom of the plane.
00:10:21.660 --> 00:10:21.870
Mm-hmm.
00:10:21.980 --> 00:10:22.500
You couldn't.
00:10:22.540 --> 00:10:24.450
You couldn't, but- But-
But it feels like it.
00:10:24.450 --> 00:10:25.490
It feels like it.
00:10:25.780 --> 00:10:29.770
And then if you're standing
directly under it, they say
00:10:29.820 --> 00:10:31.910
the sand will, like, pelt you.
00:10:31.930 --> 00:10:32.600
Oh, wow.
00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:33.050
Like, yeah.
00:10:33.110 --> 00:10:33.210
Ooh.
00:10:33.340 --> 00:10:35.350
From the … All the air.
00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:35.430
Wow.
00:10:35.460 --> 00:10:35.990
Yeah.
00:10:36.020 --> 00:10:39.830
So they said, you know, "If you're right
under it, it can be a little painful."
00:10:39.890 --> 00:10:40.130
Oh.
00:10:40.460 --> 00:10:40.720
Hmm.
00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:40.730
Okay.
00:10:40.730 --> 00:10:43.040
"So maybe not be right directly under it."
00:10:43.040 --> 00:10:43.190
Yeah.
00:10:43.780 --> 00:10:49.020
Um, so I remember once the plane
had went over, Pam, or Edwin
00:10:49.020 --> 00:10:53.482
came back over, and he's like You
wanna walk down to the water?"
00:10:53.492 --> 00:10:55.232
And I'm like, "I can't get up."
00:10:56.002 --> 00:10:57.652
And he's like, "What do you mean?"
00:10:58.152 --> 00:11:01.852
And I said, "I cannot stand up."
00:11:02.082 --> 00:11:03.912
And he goes, "Why?"
00:11:04.552 --> 00:11:08.222
And I'm like, "I have no strength.
00:11:08.642 --> 00:11:09.062
None."
00:11:09.082 --> 00:11:10.132
It was that fast.
00:11:10.392 --> 00:11:11.982
It was that fast.
00:11:12.222 --> 00:11:12.642
Wow.
00:11:12.652 --> 00:11:18.972
Um, and so there was a guy sitting
there with his family, and he s-
00:11:18.992 --> 00:11:20.692
he said, "Hey, will you help me?"
00:11:20.972 --> 00:11:22.572
And the guy was like,
"Yeah, what do you need?"
00:11:23.122 --> 00:11:24.592
They got me on…
00:11:24.622 --> 00:11:27.022
He goes, "Help me get
her down to the water."
00:11:27.662 --> 00:11:29.962
So they both got on both sides of me- Aw.
00:11:29.972 --> 00:11:35.212
Oh … and picked me up, helped me stand,
and walked me to the edge of the water,
00:11:35.212 --> 00:11:38.202
and by that time Pam had seen- Right
00:11:38.202 --> 00:11:38.952
what was going on.
00:11:38.992 --> 00:11:39.172
Mm-hmm.
00:11:39.182 --> 00:11:41.482
So she comes, um, over.
00:11:41.772 --> 00:11:42.822
Well, and Pam's a nurse.
00:11:42.832 --> 00:11:45.432
Yes, so she's- So she's putting
it together like this is a
00:11:45.432 --> 00:11:49.022
little bit different than just
I feel a little bit funky.
00:11:49.062 --> 00:11:49.402
Right.
00:11:49.402 --> 00:11:49.712
Yeah.
00:11:50.092 --> 00:11:51.812
And so she came over.
00:11:51.812 --> 00:11:57.792
We both sat in the edge of the water,
and just the water helped cool me down.
00:11:58.132 --> 00:11:58.532
Okay.
00:11:58.612 --> 00:12:04.862
And so with multiple sclerosis,
heat is your- One of your nemesis.
00:12:04.942 --> 00:12:05.432
Oh.
00:12:05.442 --> 00:12:05.782
Yeah.
00:12:05.782 --> 00:12:06.192
Okay.
00:12:06.212 --> 00:12:14.668
And so I had gotten hot and it just
You have no muscle strength once you
00:12:14.668 --> 00:12:15.638
get hot It just, it zaps your energy.
00:12:15.708 --> 00:12:16.608
It zaps it.
00:12:16.768 --> 00:12:17.048
Mm-hmm.
00:12:17.118 --> 00:12:17.288
Wow.
00:12:17.298 --> 00:12:21.308
And um, so I sat there, we sat there.
00:12:21.508 --> 00:12:25.968
I cooled off enough that I
was like, "Okay, I'm done.
00:12:25.988 --> 00:12:28.458
I've gotta get out of this."
00:12:28.508 --> 00:12:28.748
Yeah.
00:12:28.748 --> 00:12:29.178
You know?
00:12:29.308 --> 00:12:30.478
"I've gotta find shade."
00:12:30.778 --> 00:12:31.068
Mm-hmm.
00:12:31.078 --> 00:12:34.818
And so we ended up leaving the area.
00:12:35.078 --> 00:12:39.908
I think before we left another
plane had come in and so we
00:12:39.908 --> 00:12:41.668
got to see a couple- A couple.
00:12:41.668 --> 00:12:43.268
Mm-hmm … of different planes come in.
00:12:43.808 --> 00:12:47.718
Um, but we ended up leaving
and just … We hired a taxi
00:12:47.718 --> 00:12:50.158
and he took us all around St.
00:12:50.178 --> 00:12:50.498
Martin.
00:12:50.548 --> 00:12:51.858
He just drove us around.
00:12:52.378 --> 00:12:55.478
Um, and so then we made
our way back to the ship.
00:12:55.478 --> 00:12:58.738
And so I went in our room
and just kinda cooled off.
00:12:59.348 --> 00:13:04.648
And once I had cooled off and I
was back at the ship, you know, I
00:13:04.648 --> 00:13:07.688
was able to kind of walk around.
00:13:08.138 --> 00:13:11.938
I could still feel a little bit of
the weakness, but it wasn't bad.
00:13:12.258 --> 00:13:12.488
Mm-hmm.
00:13:12.498 --> 00:13:17.588
Um, and so I remember Edwin and
Pam and all of them had went up
00:13:17.648 --> 00:13:21.298
to one of the decks and they had
told me, you know, "Call us and
00:13:21.298 --> 00:13:22.928
we'll come down and get you-" Yeah
00:13:23.118 --> 00:13:24.498
or this is where we're gonna be."
00:13:24.818 --> 00:13:25.018
Mm-hmm.
00:13:25.018 --> 00:13:29.558
And so I remembered just going
up and meeting them, and so they
00:13:29.558 --> 00:13:34.508
were both like, "When we get home,
we're going to a neurologist."
00:13:34.528 --> 00:13:35.318
Yeah.
00:13:35.418 --> 00:13:35.738
Yeah.
00:13:35.738 --> 00:13:39.931
Now she's … My sister was like, "We're
gonna figure out what is going on."
00:13:39.931 --> 00:13:43.818
Did she have any inclination
at all that it might be m-…
00:13:43.818 --> 00:13:44.688
MS or- No
00:13:44.868 --> 00:13:47.508
she just … She knew enough to think
neurology- Yes … but she didn't.
00:13:47.568 --> 00:13:47.838
Okay.
00:13:48.078 --> 00:13:52.658
'Cause, and I guess I should have
maybe started with this, but prior
00:13:52.658 --> 00:13:57.988
to this we had went to Disney, um,
me and her and some of her kids.
00:13:58.428 --> 00:14:01.918
Uh, well it was when Nikki and
Kendall- Oh yeah … got engaged.
00:14:01.978 --> 00:14:02.378
Okay.
00:14:02.488 --> 00:14:02.808
That was beautiful.
00:14:02.808 --> 00:14:10.498
And so on that trip I remembered
thinking my legs were weak, you know?
00:14:10.558 --> 00:14:10.958
Mm-hmm.
00:14:10.968 --> 00:14:16.048
But I was still able to go and it
was almost like after I ate a good
00:14:16.048 --> 00:14:20.278
meal I had the strength to go-
Yeah … you know, to keep going.
00:14:20.278 --> 00:14:20.598
Mm-hmm.
00:14:20.858 --> 00:14:28.398
But it was generally in the evening Now
I know that it was a lot of the heat.
00:14:28.398 --> 00:14:28.758
Yeah, yeah.
00:14:28.758 --> 00:14:32.248
The heat wasn't- Right … present
in the evening- Yeah … like it
00:14:32.258 --> 00:14:33.758
was during the middle of the day.
00:14:33.768 --> 00:14:33.798
Mm-hmm.
00:14:34.238 --> 00:14:37.138
Um, so I had went to my doctor.
00:14:37.588 --> 00:14:39.688
We had ran tests, blood work.
00:14:40.138 --> 00:14:46.238
They'd done heart- Mm-hmm … issues,
just trying to find something.
00:14:46.248 --> 00:14:46.758
Mm-hmm, yeah.
00:14:46.878 --> 00:14:49.448
And everything come
back, you know, negative.
00:14:49.628 --> 00:14:50.158
Nothing.
00:14:50.928 --> 00:14:52.168
Everything- Wow … was fine.
00:14:52.328 --> 00:14:58.688
And so by that time Pam knew
that there's something going on.
00:14:58.688 --> 00:14:59.308
Yeah.
00:14:59.308 --> 00:14:59.538
Yeah.
00:14:59.538 --> 00:15:01.738
And … And this is something,
like if you've been cleared
00:15:01.738 --> 00:15:03.088
on all the other things- Yeah
00:15:03.128 --> 00:15:03.978
this is what's left.
00:15:03.978 --> 00:15:04.308
Yeah.
00:15:04.378 --> 00:15:04.608
Yeah.
00:15:04.618 --> 00:15:05.508
This is what's left.
00:15:05.588 --> 00:15:05.928
Okay.
00:15:05.988 --> 00:15:10.928
Um, so as soon as we got back
from that trip, Pam actually had a
00:15:11.138 --> 00:15:15.758
appointment with her doctor which
at the time was my doctor as well.
00:15:16.778 --> 00:15:20.768
Uh, so she said, "If it's okay,
I'm gonna talk to her about you."
00:15:20.768 --> 00:15:22.338
And I'm like, "Yeah, that's fine."
00:15:22.828 --> 00:15:26.718
So sure enough she went and she
goes, "Yeah, she wants you to
00:15:26.718 --> 00:15:29.118
call her and make an appointment."
00:15:29.688 --> 00:15:36.128
So I made my appointment, went in,
talked to her and, um, she ended
00:15:36.128 --> 00:15:41.218
up … She said, "Well where, where
do you wanna go to see a neurologist?"
00:15:41.228 --> 00:15:43.178
And I said, "I wanna go
to Little Rock"- Yeah.
00:15:43.268 --> 00:15:46.408
Mm … 'cause I didn't know
really anyone around here.
00:15:46.418 --> 00:15:46.438
Mm-hmm.
00:15:46.538 --> 00:15:49.228
And I thought- I think we
only had the one for a minute.
00:15:49.348 --> 00:15:50.028
I, I don't think so.
00:15:50.028 --> 00:15:51.738
And I don't even think
he's still here anymore.
00:15:51.788 --> 00:15:52.908
I don't think so either.
00:15:52.918 --> 00:15:55.098
So … So you probably
made the best choice then.
00:15:55.128 --> 00:15:55.628
Yeah.
00:15:55.628 --> 00:15:55.928
Yeah, yeah.
00:15:55.928 --> 00:15:58.008
And so I chose Little Rock.
00:15:58.008 --> 00:15:58.488
Mm-hmm.
00:15:58.488 --> 00:16:02.168
And so she got me connected to a
neurologist- Mm-hmm … up there.
00:16:02.578 --> 00:16:03.938
He was a great doctor.
00:16:04.118 --> 00:16:12.318
Um, I, I know toward the end of me seeing
him his wife had, uh, gotten cancer- Oh.
00:16:12.318 --> 00:16:16.018
Aw … and sh- he had to kind
of … He was an older gentleman.
00:16:16.028 --> 00:16:16.288
Mm-hmm.
00:16:16.538 --> 00:16:20.583
Um, so he- Stepped down a little
bit some way … he stepped
00:16:20.583 --> 00:16:22.718
down to, uh, take care of her.
00:16:23.268 --> 00:16:29.748
And so but I remember when Pam
and I first went to see him we,
00:16:30.528 --> 00:16:34.728
we get there, we get his address
and we go in and it's in a house.
00:16:34.918 --> 00:16:35.498
Oh.
00:16:35.908 --> 00:16:37.788
And we're like, "okay".
00:16:38.048 --> 00:16:39.878
And it's off of Rodney Parham.
00:16:40.878 --> 00:16:49.608
And so we go in and we open the door
and it's like stepping into the '70s.
00:16:50.048 --> 00:16:50.458
Nice.
00:16:51.098 --> 00:16:51.678
. I love it.
00:16:51.738 --> 00:16:52.388
I too.
00:16:52.708 --> 00:16:54.428
Shag carpet, you know?
00:16:54.468 --> 00:16:58.548
Just- Wow …. and it's
like oh my goodness.
00:16:59.828 --> 00:17:09.314
I thought … I looked at Pam and I go
We have walked into a quack's office.
00:17:09.314 --> 00:17:09.944
Travel back in time.
00:17:09.984 --> 00:17:13.674
I'm like, "I am not sure about this."
00:17:14.184 --> 00:17:16.434
"So go up to the desk-" Mm-hmm
00:17:17.244 --> 00:17:18.144
tell him we're here."
00:17:18.684 --> 00:17:24.064
We get back to the room and he's got a
computer sitting on a table in there.
00:17:24.444 --> 00:17:27.804
That computer was one of
those box- Oh, goodness.
00:17:27.814 --> 00:17:29.544
Oh my goodness gracious.
00:17:29.544 --> 00:17:33.434
It was huge . He's like, "I'm
not, I'm not here for the money."
00:17:33.434 --> 00:17:33.724
Yeah.
00:17:34.304 --> 00:17:36.974
He … I mean, it was old fashioned.
00:17:37.234 --> 00:17:37.484
Wow.
00:17:37.674 --> 00:17:41.444
And, um, uh, you know, that's
just feeding into my mind of- Yes.
00:17:41.604 --> 00:17:42.964
Yeah … oh my goodness.
00:17:42.964 --> 00:17:44.364
Of he's not gonna know
what he's talking about.
00:17:44.364 --> 00:17:44.724
Yeah.
00:17:44.734 --> 00:17:44.754
Yeah.
00:17:44.764 --> 00:17:47.531
He's not gonna be up-to-date on
the most- He's not trustworthy.
00:17:47.531 --> 00:17:49.154
Mm-hmm … recent, you know.
00:17:50.424 --> 00:17:50.444
Yeah.
00:17:50.444 --> 00:17:50.724
I need somebody.
00:17:50.734 --> 00:17:51.304
Uh, look at his computer.
00:17:51.354 --> 00:17:51.774
Yeah.
00:17:52.334 --> 00:17:54.544
That's even- Does that thing
even hook up to the internet?
00:17:54.744 --> 00:17:55.254
Exactly.
00:17:55.274 --> 00:17:56.964
Does it even turn on anymore?
00:17:57.564 --> 00:17:58.104
That's what I'm thinking.
00:17:59.124 --> 00:18:02.194
Uh, the bathroom was totally pink.
00:18:02.394 --> 00:18:07.034
Pink tile- Oh, goodness … pink
toilet, pink sink- Ah … pink bathtub.
00:18:07.244 --> 00:18:09.174
Everything was pink.
00:18:09.184 --> 00:18:11.784
That is Which is kind of cool.
00:18:11.784 --> 00:18:15.704
I, I like pink, but I'm thinking, "Okay,
that's even a little much for me."
00:18:15.714 --> 00:18:16.024
Mm-mm.
00:18:16.024 --> 00:18:16.364
Mm-hmm.
00:18:16.394 --> 00:18:17.504
But, you know.
00:18:17.964 --> 00:18:24.694
Um, but after we had been there and
talked to him, everything, he was, he
00:18:24.694 --> 00:18:28.424
was so good at explaining- Oh, nice
00:18:28.464 --> 00:18:29.444
the, everything.
00:18:29.564 --> 00:18:29.994
Yeah.
00:18:30.074 --> 00:18:33.774
Um, so he talked to me
for … Pam was there.
00:18:34.224 --> 00:18:39.354
Um, he talked to us for at least
30, 45 minutes in his office.
00:18:39.374 --> 00:18:39.904
Yeah.
00:18:40.144 --> 00:18:44.244
Um, so you know, what's going
on, explained everything.
00:18:44.644 --> 00:18:47.084
He' Activityexplaining
different things to me.
00:18:47.284 --> 00:18:51.924
He really, at that time,
did not think that I had MS.
00:18:51.934 --> 00:18:54.544
He thought that there was another issue.
00:18:54.904 --> 00:18:55.214
Okay.
00:18:55.224 --> 00:19:01.604
Um, so but anyway, he sent me
for an MRI and a spinal puncture.
00:19:01.934 --> 00:19:02.254
Okay.
00:19:02.264 --> 00:19:05.264
And so, um, couple of
weeks- That same day?
00:19:05.324 --> 00:19:05.554
Oh.
00:19:05.754 --> 00:19:06.114
No.
00:19:06.144 --> 00:19:06.314
Okay.
00:19:06.314 --> 00:19:07.764
A couple of weeks later.
00:19:08.204 --> 00:19:11.154
So we go, I go to that.
00:19:11.234 --> 00:19:15.424
Um, I had it scheduled
for Baptist in Conway.
00:19:15.434 --> 00:19:15.464
Okay.
00:19:16.134 --> 00:19:19.674
And so got, got there, got that all done.
00:19:20.074 --> 00:19:24.074
And so I remember, you know,
you don't get results- Mm-hmm
00:19:24.124 --> 00:19:24.574
that day.
00:19:24.604 --> 00:19:24.974
No.
00:19:25.194 --> 00:19:29.654
Um, I remember goin' back to
work the next day, you know,
00:19:29.654 --> 00:19:34.014
and, and pretty much everything
had kind of gone back to normal.
00:19:34.084 --> 00:19:34.234
Mm-hmm.
00:19:34.234 --> 00:19:34.554
Mm-hmm.
00:19:34.564 --> 00:19:36.064
You know, I'm in my routine.
00:19:36.124 --> 00:19:37.374
What time of year was it?
00:19:37.594 --> 00:19:39.104
Um, let's see.
00:19:39.124 --> 00:19:44.116
That was- It was probably,
it was in the fall.
00:19:44.366 --> 00:19:44.686
Okay.
00:19:44.696 --> 00:19:47.166
So this is- So the temperatures
had- The temperature
00:19:47.176 --> 00:19:48.346
had lowered Had already cooled.
00:19:48.346 --> 00:19:48.746
Okay.
00:19:48.746 --> 00:19:49.146
All right.
00:19:49.146 --> 00:19:49.466
Yeah.
00:19:49.486 --> 00:19:50.516
So that's all tracking.
00:19:50.556 --> 00:19:51.276
Yeah.
00:19:51.276 --> 00:19:51.376
Yeah.
00:19:51.376 --> 00:19:51.476
Okay.
00:19:51.476 --> 00:19:58.356
And so I go back to work the next day,
and I remember getting the notification.
00:19:58.556 --> 00:19:58.826
Mm-hmm.
00:19:58.836 --> 00:20:00.386
You have a message in MyChart.
00:20:00.436 --> 00:20:00.756
Yeah.
00:20:00.996 --> 00:20:01.936
Your results are in.
00:20:02.136 --> 00:20:02.296
Yeah.
00:20:02.346 --> 00:20:02.836
You know?
00:20:03.306 --> 00:20:07.036
And, uh, I remember thinking,
"I don't wanna read it."
00:20:07.386 --> 00:20:07.696
Yeah.
00:20:07.706 --> 00:20:14.746
And I text Pam and told her, "Hey, I
g- I got a message saying my chart was
00:20:15.356 --> 00:20:17.376
ready," and she was like, "Read it."
00:20:17.476 --> 00:20:20.226
And I was like, "I don't want to."
00:20:20.706 --> 00:20:21.066
Yeah.
00:20:21.066 --> 00:20:21.496
Yeah.
00:20:21.816 --> 00:20:24.476
She goes, "Send it to me-"
Yeah … "and I'll read it".
00:20:24.796 --> 00:20:30.816
And so I ended up thinking,
"Okay Jennifer, you can do this."
00:20:30.846 --> 00:20:31.076
Yeah.
00:20:31.106 --> 00:20:31.336
Yeah.
00:20:31.516 --> 00:20:38.506
And so I opened it up and began to read,
and I saw, you know, we believe that
00:20:39.306 --> 00:20:42.856
… Yeah … patient has multiple sclerosis.
00:20:43.206 --> 00:20:47.526
And I remember thinking, and
I had sent her screenshots.
00:20:47.526 --> 00:20:48.046
Mm-hmm.
00:20:48.046 --> 00:20:53.646
I was taking pictures as I was reading,
and, um, I remember thanking God
00:20:56.456 --> 00:20:57.656
Why, you know?
00:20:57.676 --> 00:20:58.116
Yeah.
00:20:58.396 --> 00:20:59.556
Um, 'cause that's…
00:20:59.816 --> 00:21:01.376
It- to me, that's natural.
00:21:01.946 --> 00:21:02.236
Yeah.
00:21:02.326 --> 00:21:03.036
I- of course.
00:21:03.066 --> 00:21:04.476
I'm gonna question why.
00:21:04.526 --> 00:21:05.226
Why me?
00:21:05.296 --> 00:21:05.646
Why?
00:21:05.656 --> 00:21:06.146
Mm-hmm.
00:21:06.146 --> 00:21:06.256
You know?
00:21:06.256 --> 00:21:06.696
Why me?
00:21:06.696 --> 00:21:07.246
Why this?
00:21:07.256 --> 00:21:07.276
Yeah.
00:21:07.336 --> 00:21:07.726
Yeah.
00:21:07.756 --> 00:21:08.406
Why this?
00:21:08.426 --> 00:21:13.226
This is not a death sentence,
but it's something that doesn't
00:21:13.236 --> 00:21:14.786
necessarily- It's life altering.
00:21:14.866 --> 00:21:15.486
Yes.
00:21:15.506 --> 00:21:15.946
Mm-hmm.
00:21:16.266 --> 00:21:20.106
And, um, you know, just
so many adjustments.
00:21:20.116 --> 00:21:20.606
For sure.
00:21:20.636 --> 00:21:25.256
And so I remember thinking, "Okay,
I'm gonna go home for lunch."
00:21:25.256 --> 00:21:27.516
I was working at the police
department at that time.
00:21:27.526 --> 00:21:27.816
Okay.
00:21:28.046 --> 00:21:32.466
And, um, typically didn't go
home because it would take me 15
00:21:32.466 --> 00:21:33.626
minutes- Yeah … to get home.
00:21:33.626 --> 00:21:33.856
Mm-hmm.
00:21:33.856 --> 00:21:34.466
Mm-hmm.
00:21:34.466 --> 00:21:35.306
30 minutes to eat.
00:21:35.876 --> 00:21:36.046
Right.
00:21:36.046 --> 00:21:37.156
15 minutes to get back.
00:21:37.166 --> 00:21:37.526
Yeah.
00:21:37.526 --> 00:21:42.706
Um, so I wouldn't go home very often,
but I thought, "I need to go home."
00:21:42.816 --> 00:21:43.296
Mm-hmm.
00:21:43.336 --> 00:21:46.286
"I need to be in my safe place."
00:21:46.286 --> 00:21:47.076
Alone, yeah.
00:21:47.076 --> 00:21:49.306
I need, I need to talk to God.
00:21:49.506 --> 00:21:49.806
Mm-hmm.
00:21:49.806 --> 00:21:50.116
Yeah.
00:21:50.396 --> 00:21:52.826
You know, we got some talking to do.
00:21:52.836 --> 00:21:54.856
But- Yeah, it's not an
office conversation.
00:21:54.856 --> 00:21:55.696
Yeah, it's not, no.
00:21:55.696 --> 00:21:56.076
No.
00:21:56.136 --> 00:21:58.486
'Cause it's not gonna
be pretty on my side.
00:21:58.936 --> 00:22:01.456
And of course, I remember, you
know- Mm-hmm … once I got in
00:22:01.456 --> 00:22:03.686
my car, tears started flowing.
00:22:03.686 --> 00:22:03.756
They belong.
00:22:03.756 --> 00:22:04.296
Oh, yeah.
00:22:04.326 --> 00:22:04.466
Yeah.
00:22:04.466 --> 00:22:04.866
You know?
00:22:05.106 --> 00:22:05.466
Yeah.
00:22:05.476 --> 00:22:06.846
And get home.
00:22:07.236 --> 00:22:09.446
Thankfully at that time, no one was home.
00:22:09.696 --> 00:22:09.926
Mm-hmm.
00:22:09.936 --> 00:22:10.766
I … The…
00:22:10.976 --> 00:22:14.436
Isaiah was in school, Nathan
and Edwin were working.
00:22:14.706 --> 00:22:14.836
Mm-hmm.
00:22:14.846 --> 00:22:16.366
So it was just me.
00:22:16.376 --> 00:22:16.396
Yeah.
00:22:16.486 --> 00:22:22.276
Me and God, and I remember just crying
and saying, "God, I don't understand.
00:22:22.776 --> 00:22:23.496
I don't…
00:22:24.346 --> 00:22:24.916
Why?"
00:22:25.346 --> 00:22:25.746
Mm-hmm.
00:22:25.746 --> 00:22:27.016
"Why is this happening?",
00:22:27.446 --> 00:22:27.956
you know.
00:22:28.456 --> 00:22:34.406
And so as I was praying, I
remember thinking growing up as
00:22:34.406 --> 00:22:38.470
a preacher's kid I made mistakes.
00:22:38.470 --> 00:22:41.630
I won't ever say I was
perfect- Right … you know?
00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:47.320
I, like 99% of the people have sinned.
00:22:47.430 --> 00:22:47.560
Mm-hmm.
00:22:47.560 --> 00:22:47.580
Mm-hmm.
00:22:47.580 --> 00:22:49.960
And I had sin in, you know, in my heart.
00:22:49.960 --> 00:22:50.290
Yeah.
00:22:50.290 --> 00:22:50.460
Yeah.
00:22:50.510 --> 00:22:54.990
And I had to ask God to forgive
me, and still occasionally
00:22:54.990 --> 00:22:55.820
I still have to - Oh yeah
00:22:55.820 --> 00:22:57.930
ask God- Oh yeah … "I'm sorry.
00:22:58.450 --> 00:22:59.370
Shouldn't have done that."
00:22:59.370 --> 00:22:59.390
Yeah.
00:22:59.390 --> 00:23:00.360
"Shouldn't have said that.
00:23:00.370 --> 00:23:01.490
Shouldn't have got aggravated.
00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:01.950
Shouldn't a…"
00:23:02.230 --> 00:23:02.490
You know?
00:23:02.500 --> 00:23:03.280
As we all do.
00:23:03.330 --> 00:23:03.880
It … Yeah.
00:23:04.090 --> 00:23:04.220
Mm-hmm.
00:23:04.230 --> 00:23:11.030
And so but I remember sitting there and
for my life people would say, "Well,
00:23:11.250 --> 00:23:13.890
this person has such a great testimony.
00:23:13.900 --> 00:23:15.420
Have you heard his testimony?"
00:23:15.420 --> 00:23:16.860
And I'm like, " Oh yeah.
00:23:16.890 --> 00:23:17.170
Yeah.
00:23:17.170 --> 00:23:18.280
You know, he does.
00:23:18.650 --> 00:23:19.640
So cool."
00:23:19.750 --> 00:23:20.100
Mm-hmm.
00:23:20.100 --> 00:23:22.270
And I remember thinking,
"I don't have a testimony."
00:23:22.270 --> 00:23:22.390
No.
00:23:22.390 --> 00:23:25.770
"I grew up in church all my
life, kind of boring, you know?"
00:23:26.090 --> 00:23:26.480
Mm-hmm.
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:28.640
Been fairly good kid.
00:23:29.030 --> 00:23:33.580
Um, you know, and I remember
saying, "You're gonna turn
00:23:33.580 --> 00:23:35.090
this into my testimony."
00:23:35.900 --> 00:23:36.220
Yeah.
00:23:36.990 --> 00:23:39.910
And I believe that He is.
00:23:39.910 --> 00:23:40.490
Yes.
00:23:40.620 --> 00:23:48.140
Um, how, how to walk
through disappointment.
00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:48.410
Mm-hmm.
00:23:48.420 --> 00:23:48.630
Yeah.
00:23:48.630 --> 00:23:49.050
You know?
00:23:49.100 --> 00:23:50.560
I've- How to wait.
00:23:50.780 --> 00:23:51.740
How to wait.
00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:53.870
Ugh, and I'm not good at waiting.
00:23:54.180 --> 00:23:54.740
Me either.
00:23:55.270 --> 00:23:56.100
I'm still not.
00:23:56.120 --> 00:23:56.713
Oh, I'm not.
00:23:56.713 --> 00:23:58.570
And He's still trying to teach me.
00:23:58.850 --> 00:24:00.210
Maybe that's my problem.
00:24:00.530 --> 00:24:03.460
He's going, "Are you
ever going to get it?"
00:24:03.580 --> 00:24:04.840
When did you learn this lesson?
00:24:05.780 --> 00:24:07.260
Boy, I've heard Him say that to me.
00:24:07.530 --> 00:24:07.630
Yeah.
00:24:08.210 --> 00:24:11.280
That's a hard- It is … That's
a hard … You're like, "God,
00:24:11.430 --> 00:24:13.170
that's, that's not fair."
00:24:13.180 --> 00:24:13.190
Hmm.
00:24:13.360 --> 00:24:13.720
You know?
00:24:13.770 --> 00:24:15.870
"You made me this way."
00:24:15.870 --> 00:24:16.660
I've said that too.
00:24:17.300 --> 00:24:18.450
I think we all have.
00:24:18.670 --> 00:24:19.420
"You made me this way."
00:24:20.030 --> 00:24:20.120
Ugh.
00:24:20.180 --> 00:24:21.650
"You knew I was gonna be like this."
00:24:21.710 --> 00:24:21.950
Yeah.
00:24:21.950 --> 00:24:22.180
Yeah.
00:24:22.180 --> 00:24:23.960
"You made me stubborn," you know?
00:24:23.970 --> 00:24:24.210
Yeah.
00:24:24.210 --> 00:24:25.570
Sometimes that's a good thing.
00:24:25.580 --> 00:24:25.880
Sometimes- Yeah.
00:24:26.420 --> 00:24:27.410
It is a good thing … it's a bad thing.
00:24:27.420 --> 00:24:30.560
But- Yep … you know, y- You created us.
00:24:30.570 --> 00:24:30.790
Mm-hmm.
00:24:30.790 --> 00:24:30.800
Yeah.
00:24:30.800 --> 00:24:36.674
And so, you know, I think g-
that This is part of my purpose.
00:24:36.684 --> 00:24:37.194
Mm-hmm, yeah.
00:24:37.274 --> 00:24:41.164
Um, it's not the way I
want to go down though.
00:24:41.704 --> 00:24:42.044
No.
00:24:42.344 --> 00:24:42.894
Y- you know?
00:24:42.994 --> 00:24:43.274
Yeah.
00:24:43.414 --> 00:24:45.344
Um, so time had passed.
00:24:45.924 --> 00:24:47.924
Um, not very much time.
00:24:48.234 --> 00:24:54.974
I remember, um, once I had gotten
my results, the following week I
00:24:54.974 --> 00:24:58.194
believe, I went and met with a doctor.
00:24:58.194 --> 00:25:03.074
We met with a doctor, and he was like,
"Well," He goes, "We got your results."
00:25:03.694 --> 00:25:09.884
And he said, "One good thing
is the diagnosis is better than
00:25:09.984 --> 00:25:12.984
what I was thinking you had."
00:25:13.164 --> 00:25:19.904
Oh, so he … Whatever his idea
was was worse off- Yes … than MS.
00:25:20.094 --> 00:25:20.404
Yes.
00:25:20.474 --> 00:25:21.284
Interesting.
00:25:21.484 --> 00:25:23.764
Um- Did he, did he tell you
what he was thinking it was?
00:25:23.814 --> 00:25:27.624
Yes, and I can't remember exactly
what it- I was just curious
00:25:27.634 --> 00:25:28.294
what it was.
00:25:28.344 --> 00:25:28.614
Yeah.
00:25:28.694 --> 00:25:30.644
But it was also hereditary.
00:25:30.744 --> 00:25:31.464
Oh, okay.
00:25:31.764 --> 00:25:38.014
And so that was one of the things, you
know, that- Yeah … I definitely … Now
00:25:38.604 --> 00:25:42.094
some people say that MS is hereditary.
00:25:42.234 --> 00:25:42.564
Mm-hmm.
00:25:42.584 --> 00:25:44.644
And I've read things that say it is not.
00:25:45.004 --> 00:25:45.284
Right.
00:25:45.424 --> 00:25:46.514
So I have no idea.
00:25:46.904 --> 00:25:50.084
Um- Yeah … you know, I
just pray over my family.
00:25:50.084 --> 00:25:50.774
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:50.814 --> 00:25:51.264
You know.
00:25:51.274 --> 00:25:56.974
I feel like there's a lot, um, with the
brain in general that we just don't know.
00:25:57.094 --> 00:25:57.344
Yeah.
00:25:57.344 --> 00:26:01.564
Like, the medical community knows
so little about what actually is
00:26:01.674 --> 00:26:05.924
possible and going on up there
that they don't, nobody knows.
00:26:05.994 --> 00:26:06.244
Yeah.
00:26:06.274 --> 00:26:06.754
We don't know.
00:26:06.914 --> 00:26:07.214
No.
00:26:07.444 --> 00:26:10.274
And I- Some stuff they know,
but a lot they just don't know.
00:26:10.384 --> 00:26:12.164
And they're learning- Right … every day.
00:26:12.224 --> 00:26:12.584
Exactly.
00:26:12.584 --> 00:26:12.914
You know.
00:26:13.424 --> 00:26:18.794
And so he was, he was pleased
that it wasn't just- Yeah
00:26:19.524 --> 00:26:19.554
MS.
00:26:19.554 --> 00:26:21.074
So- Then you're like- Multiple … well.
00:26:21.284 --> 00:26:21.794
Okay.
00:26:22.324 --> 00:26:23.264
I'm glad you're happy.
00:26:23.274 --> 00:26:25.434
But- Glad somebody's happy
about it … better than, than
00:26:25.434 --> 00:26:26.604
the death sentence, I guess.
00:26:26.624 --> 00:26:27.144
Yeah.
00:26:27.224 --> 00:26:27.984
I don't know.
00:26:28.074 --> 00:26:28.454
Yeah.
00:26:28.534 --> 00:26:33.954
Um, so I remember going to see him,
you know, and he gets me started on a
00:26:33.954 --> 00:26:37.244
medication, uh, to help keep it at bay.
00:26:37.664 --> 00:26:43.004
So basically, um, MS attacks your nerves.
00:26:43.094 --> 00:26:43.464
Mm-hmm.
00:26:43.474 --> 00:26:49.844
Um, and so it eats, like, the myelin
sheath around- Okay … your nerve.
00:26:50.344 --> 00:26:53.264
Um, so it leaves that
nerve basically bare.
00:26:53.434 --> 00:26:53.824
Mm-hmm.
00:26:54.654 --> 00:26:54.994
Exposed.
00:26:55.054 --> 00:26:55.574
Yes.
00:26:55.624 --> 00:26:55.834
Okay.
00:26:55.924 --> 00:27:01.794
And so that is what- has
happened, like in my spay- spine.
00:27:01.884 --> 00:27:02.354
Spain.
00:27:02.714 --> 00:27:03.724
In my spine.
00:27:03.734 --> 00:27:03.764
Mm-hmm.
00:27:03.764 --> 00:27:04.294
Okay.
00:27:04.294 --> 00:27:07.734
Uh, down in my lower back I've
got some spot … I've got some
00:27:07.734 --> 00:27:10.024
spots on my brain that they watch.
00:27:10.374 --> 00:27:16.354
Um, and so thankfully with
the medication there has not
00:27:16.394 --> 00:27:19.814
been- Mm-hmm … any changes.
00:27:19.834 --> 00:27:20.274
Good.
00:27:20.354 --> 00:27:24.904
Um- Yeah … now I have changed
to a different medication now,
00:27:26.274 --> 00:27:29.534
um, which is an infusion that
I get twice- Okay … a year.
00:27:30.124 --> 00:27:34.854
And finally this year they
came to my house and did it.
00:27:34.854 --> 00:27:35.584
Really?
00:27:35.594 --> 00:27:36.204
Wow.
00:27:36.214 --> 00:27:36.244
Nice.
00:27:36.254 --> 00:27:38.244
Because it's a four-hour infusion.
00:27:38.344 --> 00:27:38.664
Cripes.
00:27:38.664 --> 00:27:39.084
Oh, wow.
00:27:39.354 --> 00:27:39.664
Yeah.
00:27:40.074 --> 00:27:45.434
So you know, when we would have to go to
Little Rock it's, you get there- Mm-hmm.
00:27:45.434 --> 00:27:46.524
Yeah … you have to drive.
00:27:46.834 --> 00:27:47.854
Then you get there.
00:27:47.864 --> 00:27:47.894
Yep.
00:27:47.964 --> 00:27:48.854
And wait.
00:27:48.914 --> 00:27:49.744
Four hour, yeah.
00:27:49.914 --> 00:27:50.464
Prep you.
00:27:50.564 --> 00:27:53.054
It takes a minute to get prepped,
get checked in, get all the things.
00:27:53.094 --> 00:27:54.994
Then it's four hours of actual treatment.
00:27:54.994 --> 00:27:55.104
Get there, hang on.
00:27:55.114 --> 00:27:55.394
Yes.
00:27:56.094 --> 00:27:56.244
Ugh.
00:27:56.254 --> 00:27:59.734
And so it's like oh, my goodness,
we're here all day long.
00:27:59.744 --> 00:28:00.014
Yeah.
00:28:00.664 --> 00:28:01.184
Yeah.
00:28:01.644 --> 00:28:04.964
You know, and so either Pam
or Edwin would go with me.
00:28:05.274 --> 00:28:05.294
Yeah.
00:28:05.474 --> 00:28:09.794
I always felt bad 'cause, I mean,
they've got their whole day is just
00:28:09.794 --> 00:28:11.784
sitting and waiting- Yeah … with me.
00:28:11.784 --> 00:28:12.009
You know?
00:28:12.009 --> 00:28:12.122
Yeah.
00:28:12.122 --> 00:28:12.914
But they love you.
00:28:13.124 --> 00:28:14.444
Yeah, they do love me.
00:28:14.644 --> 00:28:15.874
And they would do it.
00:28:15.904 --> 00:28:16.054
Mm-hmm.
00:28:16.064 --> 00:28:16.424
You know?
00:28:16.474 --> 00:28:16.794
Mm-hmm.
00:28:16.824 --> 00:28:24.254
And so, um, but finally got that at home
this year, and so … That's a blessing
00:28:24.294 --> 00:28:26.094
… I'll have another one this fall.
00:28:26.134 --> 00:28:26.304
Mm-hmm.
00:28:26.314 --> 00:28:27.924
And it'll be at home.
00:28:27.924 --> 00:28:29.564
So that is good.
00:28:29.574 --> 00:28:29.594
Yeah.
00:28:29.604 --> 00:28:31.924
'Cause home is much more comfortable.
00:28:31.994 --> 00:28:32.254
Yes.
00:28:32.254 --> 00:28:32.644
Yeah.
00:28:32.684 --> 00:28:36.314
And, like, the nurse stays with
me, so Edwin was able to leave.
00:28:36.494 --> 00:28:36.904
Yeah.
00:28:37.034 --> 00:28:41.444
And he just made sure he was
home right before she left.
00:28:41.494 --> 00:28:41.554
Mm-hmm.
00:28:41.554 --> 00:28:41.624
Yep.
00:28:41.624 --> 00:28:43.964
And which I'm fine after it.
00:28:44.004 --> 00:28:45.614
I'm usually pretty sleepy.
00:28:45.964 --> 00:28:46.144
Okay.
00:28:46.144 --> 00:28:51.754
'Cause they give you Benadryl-
Mm-hmm … and Z- uh, another, you
00:28:51.754 --> 00:28:53.704
know … That makes you drowsy medication.
00:28:53.704 --> 00:28:53.874
Something, yes.
00:28:53.874 --> 00:28:54.044
Mm-hmm.
00:28:54.044 --> 00:28:56.454
And s- tell you not to drive that day.
00:28:56.554 --> 00:28:56.774
Yeah.
00:28:56.804 --> 00:28:58.484
And so,you know.
00:28:58.584 --> 00:28:58.954
Yeah.
00:28:58.974 --> 00:29:00.164
Probably not a good idea.
00:29:00.164 --> 00:29:00.934
Yeah.Yeah.
00:29:00.934 --> 00:29:06.014
And then, so anyway by the end of that,
you know, I'm usually pretty tired.
00:29:06.164 --> 00:29:06.474
Mm-hmm.
00:29:06.504 --> 00:29:11.724
I try not to sleep any once … I'm in
the afternoon- Mm-hmm … 'cause if I
00:29:11.724 --> 00:29:13.384
do I won't sleep- Yeah … at night.
00:29:13.464 --> 00:29:13.974
Yeah.
00:29:13.974 --> 00:29:14.084
Yeah.
00:29:14.084 --> 00:29:22.574
So but I remember, um, going back to I
have received my final, or my diagnosis.
00:29:22.854 --> 00:29:28.794
And um, at first I told Pam, I was like
"I don't think I want to," you know.
00:29:28.844 --> 00:29:30.514
"I think I want a second opinion."
00:29:31.234 --> 00:29:36.184
And um, that was before we actually
went into his office to see him.
00:29:36.564 --> 00:29:40.724
And I still … My mind's
still going on, you know
00:29:40.937 --> 00:29:42.927
Does this guy really know- Right.
00:29:43.057 --> 00:29:44.947
Mm-hmm … what he's doing?
00:29:44.947 --> 00:29:45.267
Yeah, yeah.
00:29:45.277 --> 00:29:52.467
Um, and so we go in, talk to him,
and he was so good that … You
00:29:52.467 --> 00:29:55.787
know how the doctor's office has
that paper that they pull- Mm-hmm.
00:29:55.787 --> 00:29:56.927
Yes … over the bed?
00:29:57.357 --> 00:30:03.097
So he has a marker, and he begins
drawing on that- Oh … that bed.
00:30:03.407 --> 00:30:03.727
Mm-hmm.
00:30:03.727 --> 00:30:08.807
And begins showing me the
nerve and how it eats away.
00:30:08.967 --> 00:30:16.707
And he's drawing me a picture and
showing me instead of just telling me.
00:30:16.797 --> 00:30:16.837
Mm-hmm.
00:30:16.847 --> 00:30:17.397
Right.
00:30:17.657 --> 00:30:23.877
And so we leave, and Pam was like,
"Okay, do you want a second opinion?"
00:30:24.527 --> 00:30:25.887
And I was like, "No."
00:30:26.547 --> 00:30:26.897
Yeah.
00:30:27.447 --> 00:30:29.477
You know, the test results.
00:30:29.677 --> 00:30:29.987
Yeah.
00:30:30.047 --> 00:30:38.577
I'm like, he, he may be old- Mm-hmm
… but he was able to explain it so well.
00:30:38.907 --> 00:30:39.057
Yeah.
00:30:39.067 --> 00:30:44.907
And so, um, I remember one time
after being in his care for a
00:30:44.907 --> 00:30:47.187
little while, something had come up.
00:30:47.187 --> 00:30:53.187
I'd called his doctor's office, left
a message, and he called me back,
00:30:53.977 --> 00:30:56.337
and it was like 7:00, 8:00 at night.
00:30:56.337 --> 00:30:56.427
Wow.
00:30:56.427 --> 00:30:57.267
Wow.
00:30:57.297 --> 00:31:00.757
And he's like, "Is this Jenni- Jennifer?"
00:31:00.757 --> 00:31:01.697
And I was like, "Yeah."
00:31:01.727 --> 00:31:02.697
He goes, "This is Dr.
00:31:02.697 --> 00:31:03.107
Burba."
00:31:03.687 --> 00:31:06.207
And he said, "This is
my cellphone number."
00:31:06.437 --> 00:31:07.067
Aw.
00:31:07.127 --> 00:31:12.127
"If you ever need me, you can
call me or text me any time."
00:31:12.127 --> 00:31:12.607
Aw.
00:31:12.607 --> 00:31:13.027
Aw.
00:31:13.037 --> 00:31:17.197
So I remember talking to him, and I
get off the phone, call Pam, and I'm
00:31:17.197 --> 00:31:22.317
telling her all this, and she goes,
"Jennifer-" Doctors don't do that Mm.
00:31:22.327 --> 00:31:23.417
No, they don't.
00:31:23.527 --> 00:31:28.667
Neurologists do not
ever- Mm-mm … do that.
00:31:28.857 --> 00:31:29.307
Mm-mm.
00:31:29.317 --> 00:31:33.667
So yeah, he was always just
a phone call or a text away.
00:31:34.247 --> 00:31:38.047
So I know that God put me with
him- Mm-hmm … for a purpose.
00:31:38.047 --> 00:31:38.057
Yeah.
00:31:38.057 --> 00:31:39.687
Yeah, that was some favor for sure.
00:31:39.697 --> 00:31:39.717
Yeah.
00:31:40.357 --> 00:31:45.647
And it was probably just because
he was able to explain things
00:31:46.177 --> 00:31:49.777
so well and just put me at ease.
00:31:49.857 --> 00:31:50.057
Mm-hmm.
00:31:50.067 --> 00:31:50.517
You know?
00:31:50.947 --> 00:31:56.937
Um, he was not … One day I remember
going into his office and saying,
00:31:56.947 --> 00:31:58.277
"Hey, I've been seeing this…"
00:31:58.677 --> 00:32:00.777
In fact, it's the medication I'm on now.
00:32:01.317 --> 00:32:03.677
"I've been seeing they have
been pushing this Ocrevus."
00:32:04.027 --> 00:32:04.847
Mm-hmm.
00:32:04.847 --> 00:32:06.937
Talking about this infusion twice a year.
00:32:06.937 --> 00:32:09.117
And he's like- Oh … "Let's wait."
00:32:09.657 --> 00:32:10.047
Mm-hmm.
00:32:10.057 --> 00:32:14.017
He said, "I am not one to
jump on the bandwagon."
00:32:14.027 --> 00:32:14.407
Good.
00:32:14.787 --> 00:32:15.037
Yeah.
00:32:15.037 --> 00:32:18.207
He said, "I like medication to be proven."
00:32:18.437 --> 00:32:18.737
Mm-hmm.
00:32:18.847 --> 00:32:23.917
Um, so you know, I think at
the time it was fairly new.
00:32:23.957 --> 00:32:24.247
Yeah.
00:32:24.247 --> 00:32:30.227
He said, If you see a medication being
pushed on TV, chances are it's new.
00:32:30.537 --> 00:32:30.937
Yeah.
00:32:30.967 --> 00:32:34.687
And he said, You don't always
want to be on the beginning.
00:32:34.717 --> 00:32:35.037
Right.
00:32:35.057 --> 00:32:35.377
Right.
00:32:35.427 --> 00:32:37.407
Because they'll improve it and- Right.
00:32:37.467 --> 00:32:38.617
You don't know
00:32:38.917 --> 00:32:43.547
He said at one time there was a
medication years ago that they put
00:32:43.547 --> 00:32:49.917
all these people on, and come to find
out it was eating away their brain.
00:32:49.937 --> 00:32:50.437
Oh, goodness.
00:32:50.997 --> 00:32:53.077
And so I was like, "Okay."
00:32:53.087 --> 00:32:53.467
Yeah.
00:32:53.677 --> 00:32:53.977
Yeah.
00:32:54.227 --> 00:32:54.477
Okay.
00:32:54.477 --> 00:32:54.867
Don't trust that.
00:32:55.047 --> 00:32:55.067
Yeah.
00:32:55.067 --> 00:32:58.247
I mean, there's a time for
experimental stuff, and then
00:32:58.247 --> 00:33:00.097
there's a time for caution.
00:33:00.127 --> 00:33:00.527
Yeah.
00:33:00.567 --> 00:33:00.947
Yeah.
00:33:01.047 --> 00:33:01.707
Let's wait.
00:33:01.767 --> 00:33:02.097
Yeah.
00:33:02.297 --> 00:33:09.467
And so, um, just to tell
another story about how God has
00:33:11.605 --> 00:33:15.325
Basically let me know he's got this.
00:33:15.375 --> 00:33:15.425
Mm-hmm.
00:33:15.685 --> 00:33:19.165
Um, so I had gotten my results.
00:33:19.455 --> 00:33:24.125
We had went to the doctor and I
told Pam coming back, I was like,
00:33:25.005 --> 00:33:27.405
"I'm not ready to tell anyone yet."
00:33:27.775 --> 00:33:28.065
Yeah.
00:33:28.485 --> 00:33:29.205
So…
00:33:29.375 --> 00:33:30.515
Smart move …me,
00:33:31.065 --> 00:33:33.235
Edwin, Pam knew.
00:33:33.295 --> 00:33:33.515
Mm-hmm.
00:33:33.655 --> 00:33:34.245
That was it.
00:33:34.265 --> 00:33:35.125
Mm-hmm.
00:33:35.135 --> 00:33:36.505
Joe might have known that time.
00:33:36.505 --> 00:33:36.825
Yeah.
00:33:36.885 --> 00:33:37.395
Yeah.
00:33:37.395 --> 00:33:38.245
Yeah.
00:33:38.245 --> 00:33:40.295
Um, but I had not told anyone.
00:33:40.935 --> 00:33:45.225
Wasn't ready and I knew that I
was gonna have to tell my parents-
00:33:45.235 --> 00:33:46.935
Mm … you know, at some point in time.
00:33:47.615 --> 00:33:53.215
So one Sunday, right after getting
my results and talking to the doctor
00:33:53.215 --> 00:33:57.735
and everything, came to church
that morning, service was great.
00:33:58.065 --> 00:34:03.715
Um, in fact, I don't believe, it was
Pastor Ronnie at that time, he didn't
00:34:03.715 --> 00:34:09.015
even get to speak that morning because
the altar call had broken out- Yeah
00:34:09.015 --> 00:34:13.485
and people, you know, were praying and-
Mm-hmm … and so he had just invited
00:34:13.485 --> 00:34:16.695
everyone to, to come up and pray.
00:34:17.245 --> 00:34:19.735
And so the service ended.
00:34:19.745 --> 00:34:24.785
We went home and came back for
the night service that evening.
00:34:25.135 --> 00:34:28.715
And so service had started,
praise and worship was going, and
00:34:28.715 --> 00:34:30.745
again, the Spirit started moving.
00:34:30.755 --> 00:34:30.785
Mm-hmm.
00:34:31.275 --> 00:34:36.185
And I remember we were all
just kind of praying- Mm-hmm
00:34:36.195 --> 00:34:37.675
um, somewhere up front.
00:34:37.695 --> 00:34:37.715
Yeah.
00:34:37.755 --> 00:34:44.455
I was just sitting at my seat, and
I remember Jonica came walking-
00:34:44.465 --> 00:34:48.965
Mm-hmm … over to me and she was like,
"Girl, I've got to tell you something."
00:34:48.975 --> 00:34:53.325
She said, "God had been dealing with
me to tell you this this morning.
00:34:53.875 --> 00:34:55.315
I didn't…"
00:34:55.605 --> 00:34:59.755
And she said, "So all afternoon,
that's all-" Yeah … "I kept
00:34:59.755 --> 00:35:01.965
hearing was, 'You've got to tell her.
00:35:01.995 --> 00:35:02.740
You've got to tell her.'"
00:35:02.740 --> 00:35:03.885
She gets a lot of words.
00:35:03.955 --> 00:35:04.225
Yes.
00:35:04.235 --> 00:35:04.425
Like, spot on.
00:35:04.685 --> 00:35:05.985
And I trust her.
00:35:06.005 --> 00:35:06.325
Mm-hmm.
00:35:06.375 --> 00:35:08.835
You know, I've known her for a long time.
00:35:08.925 --> 00:35:09.065
Mm-hmm.
00:35:09.205 --> 00:35:12.995
Um, when they were in Sounds of
Victory, they'd come to my dad's church.
00:35:13.005 --> 00:35:13.395
Mm-hmm.
00:35:13.405 --> 00:35:16.245
Um, so I've known her walk with Christ.
00:35:16.325 --> 00:35:16.635
Yeah.
00:35:16.715 --> 00:35:21.035
And I know that she, what
she says, she means- Mm-hmm
00:35:21.045 --> 00:35:22.115
with all her heart.
00:35:22.265 --> 00:35:22.695
Mm-hmm.
00:35:22.695 --> 00:35:27.735
And that she has gotten a word from God,
that she's not going to make something up.
00:35:27.735 --> 00:35:28.095
Right.
00:35:28.155 --> 00:35:28.415
Right.
00:35:28.415 --> 00:35:28.885
You know?
00:35:29.205 --> 00:35:29.435
Right.
00:35:29.435 --> 00:35:33.855
And so I knew that I could
fully trust- Mm-hmm … whatever
00:35:33.855 --> 00:35:35.725
she was about to tell me.
00:35:36.135 --> 00:35:40.025
Um, and so she was like, "If it
doesn't make sense, I'm sorry,
00:35:40.465 --> 00:35:46.115
but God told me to tell you that
this was just for a season- Mm-hmm
00:35:46.125 --> 00:35:48.725
and that He was pleased with your faith."
00:35:49.045 --> 00:35:49.345
Mm-hmm.
00:35:51.095 --> 00:35:51.153
Oh, so encouraging.
00:35:51.153 --> 00:35:52.965
And I can remember just breaking down.
00:35:53.045 --> 00:35:54.405
I mean, I imagine so.
00:35:54.515 --> 00:35:54.775
Yeah.
00:35:54.975 --> 00:35:58.685
And even right now- Yeah … I can, you
know- Mm-hmm … I could tear up and- Yeah
00:36:00.649 --> 00:36:06.609
Just chills I know Just knowing, you know,
that He knows, that He sees me Mm-hmm
00:36:06.609 --> 00:36:12.789
And so many times since then, you know,
sometimes I'll say, "God, seasons have
00:36:12.809 --> 00:36:18.029
come and seasons have gone, and I know
your seasons are different from my- Yeah
00:36:18.029 --> 00:36:21.099
seasons, but anytime- Yeah … I'm ready."
00:36:21.109 --> 00:36:21.369
Yeah.
00:36:21.369 --> 00:36:21.649
Yeah.
00:36:21.649 --> 00:36:22.099
You know?
00:36:22.349 --> 00:36:22.519
Yeah.
00:36:22.519 --> 00:36:29.729
And so it's in those moments of waiting,
you know, that I have to remind myself
00:36:30.739 --> 00:36:33.079
He sees me- Mm-hmm … He knows.
00:36:33.429 --> 00:36:38.759
He's given me these words by not
just Janica, um, Lorrie Miller.
00:36:38.849 --> 00:36:39.099
Mm-hmm.
00:36:39.099 --> 00:36:39.409
Mm-hmm.
00:36:39.419 --> 00:36:45.029
One morning, again, another
Sunday morning service was going,
00:36:45.509 --> 00:36:48.689
a word had went out, and the…
00:36:48.879 --> 00:36:56.029
I don't remember the exact, um,
wording, but I remember the message
00:36:56.029 --> 00:37:00.709
in tongues that had went out
was saying, "I know who you are.
00:37:01.999 --> 00:37:03.819
I've given you a name."
00:37:04.779 --> 00:37:08.289
And he talked, they talked about the name.
00:37:08.449 --> 00:37:08.819
Mm-hmm.
00:37:08.869 --> 00:37:14.509
And so later that day, I was in
town and I was shopping, and Laurie
00:37:14.549 --> 00:37:17.719
called me on my cellphone, and she
was like, "Hey, you got a minute?"
00:37:18.189 --> 00:37:19.069
I was like, "Yeah."
00:37:19.609 --> 00:37:24.429
And she said, "I just wanna tell you
something that God put in my spirit."
00:37:24.929 --> 00:37:28.049
And she said, "God knows you.
00:37:28.309 --> 00:37:29.679
He knows your name."
00:37:30.079 --> 00:37:30.249
Mm.
00:37:30.339 --> 00:37:34.289
She said, "And if you think
about that, your name is Walker."
00:37:34.299 --> 00:37:34.319
Wow.
00:37:35.009 --> 00:37:38.129
She said, "You're gonna
walk through this."
00:37:38.139 --> 00:37:38.149
Mm.
00:37:38.159 --> 00:37:38.899
So good.
00:37:39.329 --> 00:37:39.789
So good.
00:37:39.809 --> 00:37:40.359
You know?
00:37:40.369 --> 00:37:46.229
So in those moments, I have both hers
and Janica's printed, printed out.
00:37:46.239 --> 00:37:46.539
Mm-hmm.
00:37:46.799 --> 00:37:50.099
Um, and I keep it in my closet at home.
00:37:50.469 --> 00:37:50.514
Mm-hmm.
00:37:50.514 --> 00:37:54.259
And so every now and again, I'll just get
it out and- Mm-hmm … read it, you know?
00:37:54.279 --> 00:37:54.639
Yeah.
00:37:54.689 --> 00:37:58.519
Because it's those words that I cling to.
00:37:58.619 --> 00:37:58.939
Yeah.
00:37:59.099 --> 00:38:04.299
When I'm struggling, when I'm having
a hard day, I just cling to those
00:38:04.329 --> 00:38:06.619
words and know that He's got me.
00:38:06.709 --> 00:38:06.999
Mm-hmm.
00:38:07.009 --> 00:38:07.359
You know?
00:38:07.359 --> 00:38:07.589
Mm-hmm.
00:38:07.589 --> 00:38:11.379
I may not see the hope- Mm-hmm
00:38:11.379 --> 00:38:17.733
you know, or- The when, I guess-
Right … is what I'm searching for.
00:38:17.743 --> 00:38:17.763
Yeah.
00:38:17.803 --> 00:38:18.543
The when.
00:38:18.683 --> 00:38:19.103
Yeah.
00:38:19.713 --> 00:38:22.183
Um, you know, I would like it to be today.
00:38:22.473 --> 00:38:22.873
Yeah.
00:38:22.903 --> 00:38:23.573
And- Me too.
00:38:23.743 --> 00:38:24.193
Yeah, me…
00:38:24.403 --> 00:38:24.533
Right now.
00:38:25.073 --> 00:38:25.173
Yeah.
00:38:25.193 --> 00:38:25.933
Why not?
00:38:25.973 --> 00:38:26.563
Yes.
00:38:27.003 --> 00:38:27.023
Yeah.
00:38:27.033 --> 00:38:27.603
Exactly.
00:38:27.603 --> 00:38:28.223
Why not?
00:38:28.243 --> 00:38:28.923
Why not?
00:38:28.943 --> 00:38:29.373
Yeah.
00:38:29.463 --> 00:38:34.533
And so, you know, I know that God has
a lesson for me to learn, and if, if
00:38:34.533 --> 00:38:37.093
it's patience, I'm trying, but- Mm-hmm.
00:38:37.103 --> 00:38:38.993
Yeah … that's a hard one.
00:38:39.053 --> 00:38:39.473
Yeah.
00:38:39.473 --> 00:38:39.613
Yeah.
00:38:39.613 --> 00:38:43.643
And if anyone can go, "Oh yeah, the
patience, it's easy," I'd be like, "Okay."
00:38:43.693 --> 00:38:45.773
They haven't really been
tried in patience then.
00:38:45.783 --> 00:38:45.923
Whoo.
00:38:45.933 --> 00:38:46.333
Yeah.
00:38:46.623 --> 00:38:46.843
Yeah.
00:38:47.463 --> 00:38:50.693
'Cause I've always remembered growing up
in church, you don't ask God for patience.
00:38:50.703 --> 00:38:51.393
No, no.
00:38:51.393 --> 00:38:52.033
Mm-mm.
00:38:52.603 --> 00:38:53.023
Not at all.
00:38:53.033 --> 00:38:53.383
Don't do it.
00:38:53.393 --> 00:38:56.043
So never have I ever- Mm-mm
00:38:56.043 --> 00:38:59.333
asked him, "Lord, grant me patience."
00:38:59.333 --> 00:38:59.633
Mm-mm.
00:38:59.633 --> 00:38:59.883
No.
00:38:59.893 --> 00:39:05.653
Because I know I would probably
fail that test- … numerous times.
00:39:06.453 --> 00:39:06.643
Me too.
00:39:06.643 --> 00:39:06.883
Me too.
00:39:06.883 --> 00:39:08.913
I think, I think we're all
sitting right there with it.
00:39:08.923 --> 00:39:09.463
Yeah.
00:39:09.463 --> 00:39:09.833
Yeah.
00:39:09.833 --> 00:39:15.663
And so, you know, I've had those
two, but I've also had other people,
00:39:16.093 --> 00:39:18.733
uh, speak healing up over my life.
00:39:18.743 --> 00:39:18.843
Mm-hmm.
00:39:18.903 --> 00:39:25.083
And people that I don't know, one lady at
Hobby Lobby, I was coming out, getting in
00:39:25.083 --> 00:39:28.073
my car, and I was struggling, you know.
00:39:28.073 --> 00:39:28.183
Mm-hmm.
00:39:28.183 --> 00:39:33.843
Um, at that time I wasn't using a scooter,
um, so I had walked through the store.
00:39:33.873 --> 00:39:34.433
Oh, yeah.
00:39:34.463 --> 00:39:36.023
So my legs were tired.
00:39:36.133 --> 00:39:36.423
Yeah.
00:39:36.423 --> 00:39:40.083
So I was holding onto my car
while I was going to the door, and
00:39:40.083 --> 00:39:41.393
she was like, "Can I help you?"
00:39:41.393 --> 00:39:43.083
And I was like, "No, I'm, I'm…
00:39:43.313 --> 00:39:44.043
I've got it."
00:39:44.303 --> 00:39:44.533
Yeah.
00:39:44.573 --> 00:39:50.133
And, uh, s- it's sometimes
hard to accept help.
00:39:50.143 --> 00:39:50.433
Yeah.
00:39:50.453 --> 00:39:51.563
You know, because- It's…
00:39:51.643 --> 00:39:53.313
Oh, yeah … I can do it.
00:39:53.443 --> 00:39:54.073
I got it.
00:39:54.153 --> 00:39:54.283
Yeah.
00:39:54.283 --> 00:39:54.613
Mm-hmm.
00:39:54.613 --> 00:39:54.883
You know?
00:39:54.943 --> 00:39:55.253
Yeah.
00:39:55.253 --> 00:39:55.903
Mm-hmm.
00:39:55.903 --> 00:40:02.103
And so, you know, I'm learning that as
I go too, you know, to accept that help.
00:40:02.103 --> 00:40:02.223
Mm-hmm.
00:40:02.223 --> 00:40:02.543
Yeah.
00:40:02.603 --> 00:40:08.083
Because most of the time people are
asking because they really want to help.
00:40:08.133 --> 00:40:08.393
Mm-hmm.
00:40:08.393 --> 00:40:08.833
Yeah.
00:40:08.833 --> 00:40:09.373
You know?
00:40:09.373 --> 00:40:12.433
And so that's a tough one too.
00:40:12.433 --> 00:40:17.223
But she stopped me and, uh,
I told her, "No, I'm okay."
00:40:17.223 --> 00:40:18.233
I said, "I'm right here.
00:40:18.393 --> 00:40:19.743
I'm at my car," you know.
00:40:21.043 --> 00:40:25.973
Um, and so she s- asked me if
I had had, like, back surgery,
00:40:25.973 --> 00:40:29.873
and I was like, "No, I've been
diagnosed with multiple sclerosis."
00:40:29.893 --> 00:40:31.093
And she goes, "Oh, okay."
00:40:31.093 --> 00:40:34.293
She said, "I could tell
something was going on."
00:40:34.303 --> 00:40:36.133
She said, "I've had back surgery- Mm-hmm
00:40:36.143 --> 00:40:39.823
so I know-" Yeah … you
know, what it's like.
00:40:40.143 --> 00:40:43.793
And, um, she said, "But I believe
that God's gonna heal you."
00:40:45.215 --> 00:40:46.105
Just out of the blue.
00:40:46.115 --> 00:40:46.365
Mm-hmm.
00:40:46.365 --> 00:40:49.375
I have no idea- Who it is,
but- … who she is … that's
00:40:49.375 --> 00:40:50.545
just another confirming word.
00:40:50.575 --> 00:40:52.575
That's just- Yeah … another
confirming word.
00:40:52.585 --> 00:40:52.635
Mm-hmm.
00:40:53.045 --> 00:40:59.255
And, uh, then Pam and I were on a
cruise, and we were sitting at dinner,
00:40:59.375 --> 00:41:01.225
and you know, you sit in the same place.
00:41:01.275 --> 00:41:01.515
Mm-hmm.
00:41:01.785 --> 00:41:03.995
Sit next to- Yeah … the
same people every time.
00:41:04.065 --> 00:41:04.395
Mm-hmm.
00:41:04.445 --> 00:41:08.585
And it was just her and I, so we were
at a table for two, and there were
00:41:08.595 --> 00:41:11.145
several other tables for two around us.
00:41:11.155 --> 00:41:11.175
Mm-hmm.
00:41:11.645 --> 00:41:16.405
And I remember, um, the couple
that was sitting next to us,
00:41:16.765 --> 00:41:18.455
we had got to talking to them.
00:41:18.455 --> 00:41:18.635
Yeah.
00:41:19.495 --> 00:41:23.105
And they were just a really
sweet couple from Texas.
00:41:23.485 --> 00:41:29.785
Um, and he also told me one night
when we were talking, he goes, "I
00:41:29.785 --> 00:41:31.825
believe that God's going to heal you."
00:41:32.535 --> 00:41:32.635
Mm-hmm.
00:41:32.635 --> 00:41:36.825
And so just, you know, those few words.
00:41:37.045 --> 00:41:37.395
Yeah.
00:41:37.465 --> 00:41:42.825
And I've had others speak words to
me- Mm-hmm … like that, similar.
00:41:43.185 --> 00:41:47.535
Um, I've had people pray for me-
Mm-hmm … at the gym, you know?
00:41:47.575 --> 00:41:48.175
Yeah.
00:41:49.265 --> 00:41:54.845
Uh, the pastor of the NLC, he seen me
one time, and I had never met him before.
00:41:54.855 --> 00:41:54.885
Mm-hmm.
00:41:54.885 --> 00:41:56.455
I knew who he was, you know.
00:41:56.465 --> 00:41:56.705
Yeah.
00:41:56.955 --> 00:42:02.355
Um, and so he came up and began
talking to me, and he was like,
00:42:02.355 --> 00:42:04.115
"What's, what's going on?"
00:42:04.125 --> 00:42:04.405
Mm-hmm.
00:42:04.515 --> 00:42:07.335
And he told me, he goes, "You inspire me."
00:42:07.675 --> 00:42:08.075
Aw.
00:42:08.075 --> 00:42:10.505
He said, "'Cause here I came this morning.
00:42:10.505 --> 00:42:12.235
I really didn't wanna be here."
00:42:12.395 --> 00:42:12.655
Mm-hmm.
00:42:12.665 --> 00:42:15.195
You know, just didn't
wanna- Yeah … come.
00:42:15.525 --> 00:42:18.065
And he said, "And I
walk in, and I see you."
00:42:18.535 --> 00:42:18.995
Yeah.
00:42:19.195 --> 00:42:22.045
And he goes, "If she
can do it, I can do it."
00:42:22.045 --> 00:42:23.355
Yeah.
00:42:23.355 --> 00:42:23.575
Yeah.
00:42:23.575 --> 00:42:29.555
And, uh, so, you know, he also began
praying for me, and he told me, he said,
00:42:29.555 --> 00:42:31.745
"I believe that God's going to heal you."
00:42:32.215 --> 00:42:33.425
He said, "God healed me."
00:42:33.425 --> 00:42:34.315
I said, "I know."
00:42:34.865 --> 00:42:38.965
Uh, you know, 'cause he had that massive
heart attack- Yes, yes … I think it was.
00:42:38.965 --> 00:42:39.305
I know.
00:42:39.305 --> 00:42:39.935
What was it?
00:42:39.935 --> 00:42:40.135
Yes.
00:42:40.135 --> 00:42:40.355
Yeah.
00:42:40.355 --> 00:42:41.035
I remember that now.
00:42:41.065 --> 00:42:44.015
And, uh, w- while he was
preaching- Mm-hmm … possibly.
00:42:44.025 --> 00:42:44.385
Yeah.
00:42:44.445 --> 00:42:45.405
It was during a service, yeah.
00:42:45.405 --> 00:42:46.465
Yeah, during service.
00:42:46.525 --> 00:42:49.735
And so- Yeah … you know,
if anybody knows- Mm-hmm.
00:42:49.745 --> 00:42:51.335
Yeah … this man knows.
00:42:51.535 --> 00:42:51.785
Yeah.
00:42:53.099 --> 00:42:57.319
Because he's lived it, he's seen it- Yeah
… he's, you know, been healed completely.
00:42:57.749 --> 00:43:01.469
Um, so I do know that
God has a purpose- Mm
00:43:01.469 --> 00:43:02.729
and God has a plan.
00:43:03.119 --> 00:43:03.249
Yeah.
00:43:03.259 --> 00:43:07.499
Um, waiting on that purpose and
that plan is sometimes hard.
00:43:07.499 --> 00:43:08.239
Mm-hmm.
00:43:08.239 --> 00:43:11.489
Um, but I know that every day I try.
00:43:11.519 --> 00:43:11.529
Mm.
00:43:11.749 --> 00:43:12.799
I try my best.
00:43:12.809 --> 00:43:12.839
Mm-hmm.
00:43:12.839 --> 00:43:17.869
I do my best, try to have a good
attitude, you know, try to push
00:43:17.919 --> 00:43:19.366
through those hard moments- Mm-hmm.
00:43:19.366 --> 00:43:20.279
Mm-hmm … and keep going.
00:43:20.779 --> 00:43:26.539
Um, there's days that are easier, and
then there's days that it's hard- Yeah
00:43:26.539 --> 00:43:27.219
all day long.
00:43:27.259 --> 00:43:27.599
Yeah.
00:43:27.629 --> 00:43:28.139
You know?
00:43:28.489 --> 00:43:28.749
Yep.
00:43:28.759 --> 00:43:34.239
And sometimes I'm walking along and I may
be struggling at home, and it may just,
00:43:34.509 --> 00:43:40.069
uh, for the most part, I- Edwin and Isaiah
are working, so it is just me- Mm-hmm.
00:43:40.069 --> 00:43:43.869
Mm-hmm … at home, you know, and I'll
be struggling, and I'll just begin
00:43:43.879 --> 00:43:48.549
to say, "I can do all things- Yes
… through Christ who strengthens me."
00:43:48.559 --> 00:43:48.709
Mm-hmm.
00:43:48.709 --> 00:43:52.739
And I'll just quote that
scripture with every step.
00:43:53.049 --> 00:43:53.219
Wow.
00:43:53.359 --> 00:43:58.359
Because sometimes it's just
those steps that are hard.
00:43:58.419 --> 00:43:58.579
Mm-hmm.
00:43:58.599 --> 00:43:59.169
You know?
00:43:59.469 --> 00:44:02.079
Um, at home I try not to use my scooter.
00:44:02.079 --> 00:44:03.009
I use my cane.
00:44:03.189 --> 00:44:03.359
Mm-hmm.
00:44:03.379 --> 00:44:04.889
Walk around the house, you know.
00:44:05.269 --> 00:44:09.479
Um, the scooter is mainly for
me when I'm out in public.
00:44:09.919 --> 00:44:10.329
Yeah.
00:44:10.339 --> 00:44:13.389
Um, because I worry about
people watching me, you know?
00:44:13.399 --> 00:44:13.759
Yeah.
00:44:14.099 --> 00:44:18.299
If I think people are watching
me, it, it's gonna stress me.
00:44:18.459 --> 00:44:19.007
It's gonna make anything worse.
00:44:19.007 --> 00:44:20.299
It's a snowball.
00:44:20.309 --> 00:44:20.329
Yeah.
00:44:20.339 --> 00:44:21.079
Mm-hmm.
00:44:21.129 --> 00:44:21.439
Yep.
00:44:21.619 --> 00:44:25.269
So that's kind of my,
you know, that helps.
00:44:25.409 --> 00:44:25.639
Yeah.
00:44:25.669 --> 00:44:30.509
Um, and I struggled with that
at first, and I struggled…
00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:36.059
I was using it at other places,
but not at church for a while.
00:44:36.549 --> 00:44:42.719
Um, it was hard to, to do, to
bring my scooter to church.
00:44:43.189 --> 00:44:49.641
Um- Just because I was thinking,
"Am I letting God down?
00:44:49.641 --> 00:44:54.041
Am I- Mm … saying that
I don't trust him enough?"
00:44:54.151 --> 00:44:54.171
Yeah.
00:44:54.351 --> 00:44:54.531
Mm-hmm.
00:44:54.541 --> 00:44:55.081
You know?
00:44:55.081 --> 00:44:56.711
But- On the contrary.
00:44:56.731 --> 00:44:56.751
Yeah.
00:44:56.751 --> 00:45:01.191
I think it's like, let's, let's
show all of these people exactly
00:45:01.281 --> 00:45:02.531
what I'm gonna heal you from.
00:45:02.531 --> 00:45:02.561
Yeah.
00:45:02.561 --> 00:45:06.551
Yeah, and that's what I was just
thinking is like, people see you
00:45:06.561 --> 00:45:09.051
on the scooter, so they know- Yeah
00:45:09.051 --> 00:45:10.941
this is something that is not small.
00:45:11.131 --> 00:45:11.481
Right.
00:45:11.841 --> 00:45:15.011
And not that it's your identity or
anything like that- Right … but they
00:45:15.011 --> 00:45:19.711
see it so that when it does happen- Yeah
… they're gonna know this was a miracle.
00:45:19.811 --> 00:45:20.211
Yeah.
00:45:20.371 --> 00:45:20.621
Yep.
00:45:20.631 --> 00:45:21.431
It was definitely a miracle.
00:45:21.431 --> 00:45:24.341
It wasn't like recovery from a surgery.
00:45:24.361 --> 00:45:24.891
Right.
00:45:24.921 --> 00:45:25.411
You know?
00:45:25.561 --> 00:45:25.841
Yeah.
00:45:25.841 --> 00:45:27.801
So I think it's gonna
make a bigger impact.
00:45:27.911 --> 00:45:28.251
Yeah.
00:45:28.251 --> 00:45:28.441
You know?
00:45:28.441 --> 00:45:29.321
I think it will.
00:45:29.651 --> 00:45:36.351
Um, you know, and I think the day
that it does happen, and I, I tell my
00:45:36.351 --> 00:45:40.121
mom and, 'cause she goes with me to
the gym, and I'm like, "The day that
00:45:40.121 --> 00:45:42.881
I get to walk into the gym-" Mm-hmm.
00:45:42.901 --> 00:45:46.291
Yeah … scooter-free-
Yeah … everybody's gonna be-
00:45:46.291 --> 00:45:48.281
Yeah … going, "Hey, hang on."
00:45:48.371 --> 00:45:48.591
Yeah.
00:45:48.591 --> 00:45:48.901
You know?
00:45:48.971 --> 00:45:50.341
I want to, I want to be there.
00:45:50.341 --> 00:45:53.161
I mean, I'm just- Yeah … like,
I don't know how we're…
00:45:53.891 --> 00:45:54.441
We'll know.
00:45:54.451 --> 00:45:56.341
Like, we'll be driving by and
the Holy Ghost will hit us.
00:45:56.341 --> 00:45:56.811
Yeah.
00:45:56.811 --> 00:45:56.991
Yeah.
00:45:56.991 --> 00:45:57.311
You know?
00:45:57.311 --> 00:46:01.501
'Cause, uh, how, how would the
Holy Ghost not be full in there?
00:46:01.521 --> 00:46:01.791
Listen.
00:46:01.791 --> 00:46:01.961
Yeah.
00:46:01.961 --> 00:46:03.331
It's gonna be on word of mouth.
00:46:03.331 --> 00:46:03.521
Yeah.
00:46:03.521 --> 00:46:07.336
We're gonna be scrolling on Facebook,
"Y'all need to get down to- Planet Fitness
00:46:07.336 --> 00:46:09.681
Planet Fitness- … 'cause there's,
uh, something going on down here."
00:46:09.751 --> 00:46:09.911
Something's happening.
00:46:09.921 --> 00:46:10.241
Yeah.
00:46:10.271 --> 00:46:10.951
I'm gonna jump in.
00:46:10.951 --> 00:46:13.221
I'm gonna drop everything
I'm doing and- Yeah … go.
00:46:13.231 --> 00:46:18.161
'Cause, you know- 100% … I've had so
many people at the gym, you know, tell
00:46:18.161 --> 00:46:23.081
me different things, and several of them
have told me, "You just inspire me."
00:46:23.341 --> 00:46:23.641
Yeah.
00:46:23.671 --> 00:46:26.371
And one gentleman's like, "You're strong."
00:46:26.641 --> 00:46:27.011
Mm-hmm.
00:46:27.341 --> 00:46:31.091
He goes, "The way you push
yourself," he goes, "I see you."
00:46:31.421 --> 00:46:31.741
Yeah.
00:46:31.741 --> 00:46:32.241
Yeah.
00:46:32.241 --> 00:46:33.681
He goes, "You're strong."
00:46:33.701 --> 00:46:33.921
Yeah.
00:46:33.931 --> 00:46:35.591
He said, "You're stronger than I am."
00:46:36.151 --> 00:46:39.521
And some of these people, I
don't know, you know, if they
00:46:39.521 --> 00:46:41.471
have a relationship with Christ.
00:46:41.471 --> 00:46:42.241
I don't know.
00:46:42.241 --> 00:46:42.381
Mm-hmm.
00:46:42.381 --> 00:46:42.741
Yeah.
00:46:43.331 --> 00:46:48.211
Um, but when I do get the chance
to talk to them, I do let them know
00:46:48.241 --> 00:46:51.191
that, hey, this, I, it's not forever.
00:46:51.191 --> 00:46:51.491
Mm-mm.
00:46:51.491 --> 00:46:51.931
Mm-mm.
00:46:51.931 --> 00:46:53.701
I've got a promise of my healing.
00:46:53.961 --> 00:46:54.261
Mm-hmm.
00:46:54.271 --> 00:46:54.691
You know?
00:46:54.691 --> 00:47:02.621
And that's one thing I cling to is in
that healing, I, I, in my conversations
00:47:02.641 --> 00:47:04.911
with God, you know, we all have them.
00:47:04.911 --> 00:47:05.221
Mm-hmm.
00:47:05.221 --> 00:47:05.371
Mm-hmm.
00:47:05.381 --> 00:47:08.811
Um, and sometimes those
moments are very personal.
00:47:09.261 --> 00:47:15.821
Um, and so in me just talking to him, I'm
like, "God, you gave me this promise."
00:47:15.821 --> 00:47:16.101
Yeah.
00:47:17.515 --> 00:47:20.485
This promise was for me on Earth.
00:47:20.925 --> 00:47:21.255
Mm-hmm.
00:47:21.255 --> 00:47:21.295
Yeah.
00:47:21.295 --> 00:47:24.775
So I want to see this take-
Yeah … place prior to heaven.
00:47:25.175 --> 00:47:25.525
Yeah.
00:47:25.595 --> 00:47:30.135
Because if it's just that I'm gonna
be healed in heaven- That's great
00:47:30.215 --> 00:47:31.665
and all- … then why would- … but
why bother with the promise?
00:47:31.965 --> 00:47:33.655
Why bother with the promise?
00:47:33.755 --> 00:47:34.005
Yeah.
00:47:34.015 --> 00:47:34.285
Yeah.
00:47:34.295 --> 00:47:34.745
You know?
00:47:34.745 --> 00:47:35.385
Yeah.
00:47:35.385 --> 00:47:39.675
And so I want to see it
take place prior to heaven.
00:47:39.675 --> 00:47:40.145
Yes.
00:47:40.455 --> 00:47:42.265
That's when He's gonna get the glory.
00:47:42.445 --> 00:47:42.995
Exactly.
00:47:43.005 --> 00:47:43.345
You know?
00:47:43.385 --> 00:47:43.645
Mm-hmm.
00:47:43.975 --> 00:47:47.805
Not me- Yeah … 'cause it, it's
gonna be nothing that I have done.
00:47:47.925 --> 00:47:48.295
Mm-hmm.
00:47:48.295 --> 00:47:48.965
N- nothing.
00:47:49.005 --> 00:47:49.345
Right.
00:47:49.425 --> 00:47:51.165
Um, it's gonna all be Him.
00:47:51.315 --> 00:47:51.695
Mm-hmm.
00:47:51.695 --> 00:47:56.425
And I will, you know, proclaim
that, and I've told him when it
00:47:56.435 --> 00:47:58.835
happens, I'm going to the mountain.
00:47:58.905 --> 00:47:59.285
Mm-hmm.
00:47:59.295 --> 00:48:00.035
Yes.
00:48:00.035 --> 00:48:02.735
And I'm gonna stand on the
side of that mountain, and I am
00:48:02.735 --> 00:48:05.375
going to scream the loudest- Mm
00:48:05.425 --> 00:48:08.955
I have ever screamed that I am healed.
00:48:08.985 --> 00:48:09.385
Yeah.
00:48:09.795 --> 00:48:11.485
Jesus healed me.
00:48:11.565 --> 00:48:11.825
Mm-hmm.
00:48:11.835 --> 00:48:13.055
Which mountain is the highest?
00:48:13.055 --> 00:48:15.705
Mount Nebo- Yes … is
the one I'm planning.
00:48:15.705 --> 00:48:16.765
That's the one that's in your mind's eye?
00:48:16.775 --> 00:48:17.935
That's the one that's in my mind.
00:48:17.975 --> 00:48:19.935
'Cause I'm like, is Mount
Magazine the highest one?
00:48:19.935 --> 00:48:21.005
Mount Ma- Yes.
00:48:21.015 --> 00:48:21.035
Yeah.
00:48:21.045 --> 00:48:22.645
Mount Magazine is the highest.
00:48:22.735 --> 00:48:24.505
'Cause I'm like, let's
get the highest mountain.
00:48:24.505 --> 00:48:26.265
You can do Mount Nebo
first, and then- Lou- Yep.
00:48:26.265 --> 00:48:26.471
Exactly … there we go.
00:48:26.471 --> 00:48:27.295
We can go to both of them.
00:48:27.295 --> 00:48:27.875
Go to all of them.
00:48:27.875 --> 00:48:28.065
Yeah.
00:48:28.065 --> 00:48:28.525
Get all the mountains.
00:48:28.535 --> 00:48:29.275
We'll just hit them all.
00:48:29.285 --> 00:48:29.425
Yeah.
00:48:29.425 --> 00:48:30.935
Petit Jean, Nebo- Yeah … Magazine.
00:48:30.935 --> 00:48:32.205
I feel like you'd have a following.
00:48:32.575 --> 00:48:32.845
Yeah.
00:48:33.385 --> 00:48:35.715
I've had several people tell me- Mm-hmm
00:48:35.715 --> 00:48:36.545
"You better call me."
00:48:36.545 --> 00:48:36.865
Yeah.
00:48:36.885 --> 00:48:37.125
Yeah.
00:48:37.125 --> 00:48:37.895
If I'm going.
00:48:38.185 --> 00:48:38.515
Yeah.
00:48:38.725 --> 00:48:39.215
Yeah.
00:48:39.215 --> 00:48:39.682
You know?
00:48:39.682 --> 00:48:43.725
Um- I mean, I think people,
when you, when you do that at
00:48:43.725 --> 00:48:47.595
Planet Fitness on the mountain, I
think there'll be more healings.
00:48:47.595 --> 00:48:48.045
Yeah.
00:48:48.045 --> 00:48:48.335
Yeah.
00:48:48.365 --> 00:48:50.365
I do, because it'll be a…
00:48:51.215 --> 00:48:52.935
I mean, there'll just
be an anointing there.
00:48:53.165 --> 00:48:59.215
There will, and to see, you
know, something come to pass.
00:48:59.225 --> 00:48:59.505
Mm-hmm.
00:48:59.985 --> 00:49:05.095
Um, so many of those people, and a
lot of the reason I still just get
00:49:05.095 --> 00:49:11.085
up and go so early in the morning
is because I'm comfortable with the
00:49:11.085 --> 00:49:12.125
people- Yeah … that are there.
00:49:12.205 --> 00:49:12.515
Yeah.
00:49:12.545 --> 00:49:14.975
I, you know, you go at the same time.
00:49:14.975 --> 00:49:16.595
You see the same- Right … crowds.
00:49:16.595 --> 00:49:19.265
You know, occasionally you'll
have new people came in- Mm-hmm
00:49:19.265 --> 00:49:19.685
come in.
00:49:20.305 --> 00:49:24.397
Um, but for the most part, you
know, it's the same people.
00:49:24.397 --> 00:49:24.481
You're good.
00:49:24.481 --> 00:49:24.975
It's your people.
00:49:25.105 --> 00:49:25.895
I'm good.
00:49:25.925 --> 00:49:29.695
You know, I walk down through the middle
of the aisle, and it's like, "Hey.
00:49:30.035 --> 00:49:30.235
Hey."
00:49:30.315 --> 00:49:30.865
Mm-hmm.
00:49:30.865 --> 00:49:32.665
I told Mom one time, I'm like…
00:49:32.945 --> 00:49:35.245
We're, like, walking
down through the aisle.
00:49:35.245 --> 00:49:36.595
Everybody's saying, "Hello.
00:49:36.745 --> 00:49:36.995
Good morning."
00:49:36.995 --> 00:49:38.065
You know?
00:49:38.065 --> 00:49:39.665
I've, I said, "I feel like, 'Hello.
00:49:39.715 --> 00:49:40.385
Hello.'"
00:49:40.385 --> 00:49:40.728
Yeah.
00:49:40.728 --> 00:49:41.415
You know?
00:49:41.415 --> 00:49:41.665
Yeah.
00:49:41.665 --> 00:49:42.075
Little celebrity.
00:49:42.105 --> 00:49:42.125
Yeah.
00:49:42.135 --> 00:49:42.525
Yep.
00:49:42.555 --> 00:49:44.575
Celebrity- Mm-hmm … coming
through, coming through.
00:49:45.035 --> 00:49:50.125
Um, but it's just, you get to know those
people- Mm … and they get to know you,
00:49:50.155 --> 00:49:54.865
and, you know, there's so many of them
that have told me, "If you ever need
00:49:54.875 --> 00:49:57.995
anything- I'm just a phone call away.
00:49:58.005 --> 00:49:58.025
Yeah.
00:49:58.085 --> 00:50:02.085
One gentleman told me, "Hey, if your mom
can't make it, this is my phone number.
00:50:02.395 --> 00:50:04.715
You call me, I'll come
get your scooter out."
00:50:04.905 --> 00:50:05.715
Aw.
00:50:05.715 --> 00:50:06.045
Aw.
00:50:06.045 --> 00:50:11.605
And so, and he's asked me before, "Did
you call me this morning and I missed it?"
00:50:11.625 --> 00:50:12.305
And I'm like, "No."
00:50:12.665 --> 00:50:13.985
"So and so helped me get it."
00:50:13.985 --> 00:50:14.375
Yeah.
00:50:14.765 --> 00:50:18.465
Um, but there's some good
people- Mm-hmm … out there.
00:50:18.475 --> 00:50:18.495
Yeah.
00:50:18.885 --> 00:50:24.205
And so I do believe that once it
happens, that God's gonna change lives.
00:50:24.245 --> 00:50:24.525
Yeah.
00:50:24.525 --> 00:50:29.075
And that- I believe it too … they're
gonna see, you know, what God can do.
00:50:29.515 --> 00:50:29.735
Yeah.
00:50:29.735 --> 00:50:36.365
And it may not be a physical healing
that they need, but everybody needs God.
00:50:36.405 --> 00:50:37.155
Yeah, yeah.
00:50:37.365 --> 00:50:38.205
Everybody.
00:50:38.545 --> 00:50:38.705
Yeah.
00:50:38.715 --> 00:50:46.655
You know, and one thing that I wanted
to share was also, um, growing up
00:50:46.675 --> 00:50:50.775
in a pastor's home, you always hear
people say, "Well, there's a lot of
00:50:50.775 --> 00:50:55.345
hypocrites in church," and, you know,
there's a lot of this and a lot of that.
00:50:57.419 --> 00:50:59.059
I was a hypocrite at one time.
00:50:59.059 --> 00:51:00.229
I'm, you know- Mm-hmm.
00:51:00.259 --> 00:51:01.099
All of us- Yeah.
00:51:01.099 --> 00:51:01.869
Yeah … have fell.
00:51:01.879 --> 00:51:02.349
We all are.
00:51:02.539 --> 00:51:02.719
Yeah.
00:51:02.719 --> 00:51:04.259
All of us are sinners.
00:51:05.419 --> 00:51:10.699
We're just doing the best
we can with what we have.
00:51:10.789 --> 00:51:11.039
Yeah.
00:51:11.059 --> 00:51:11.299
Right.
00:51:11.299 --> 00:51:11.729
You know?
00:51:12.139 --> 00:51:19.819
Um, but there are so many times that
if it wasn't for my church family, I
00:51:19.819 --> 00:51:21.739
don't know what I would do, you know?
00:51:21.739 --> 00:51:22.139
Yeah.
00:51:22.239 --> 00:51:27.989
Because there's times that I've reached
out to, to Myra and Jonica- Mm-hmm … my
00:51:27.989 --> 00:51:33.859
sister and Krystle, and just people, and
been like, "I'm just struggling today."
00:51:34.039 --> 00:51:34.349
Yeah.
00:51:34.369 --> 00:51:39.239
You know, sometimes you just
need that additional help, that
00:51:39.239 --> 00:51:40.429
additional- Yeah … prayer.
00:51:40.439 --> 00:51:40.789
Yeah.
00:51:40.829 --> 00:51:42.709
I don't need you to come help me.
00:51:42.779 --> 00:51:43.839
I need you to pray.
00:51:43.869 --> 00:51:46.659
Well, even, you know, the…
00:51:47.069 --> 00:51:47.669
just left me.
00:51:47.689 --> 00:51:48.399
Aaron and Hur.
00:51:48.929 --> 00:51:49.269
Yeah.
00:51:49.319 --> 00:51:51.719
You know, holding his hands up.
00:51:51.719 --> 00:51:52.059
Yes.
00:51:52.069 --> 00:51:52.679
Holding…
00:51:52.839 --> 00:51:52.849
Moses's.
00:51:52.849 --> 00:51:53.429
Moses?
00:51:53.429 --> 00:51:53.844
Moses, yeah.
00:51:53.844 --> 00:51:54.699
I was like, "Yeah, that's right."
00:51:54.699 --> 00:51:56.789
Moses's hands up- Yeah … so that…
00:51:56.819 --> 00:51:57.759
'cause he was getting tired.
00:51:57.759 --> 00:51:58.219
Yes.
00:51:58.259 --> 00:51:58.929
You need that.
00:51:59.009 --> 00:51:59.509
You do.
00:51:59.959 --> 00:52:02.269
And Myra and Jonica Yeah.
00:52:02.349 --> 00:52:03.049
Uh-huh, yeah.
00:52:03.049 --> 00:52:03.669
What, what better?
00:52:03.749 --> 00:52:03.969
Yeah.
00:52:03.969 --> 00:52:04.139
Yep.
00:52:04.139 --> 00:52:04.479
You know?
00:52:04.479 --> 00:52:09.079
And I know that, like I said
before, I know their walk.
00:52:09.399 --> 00:52:09.569
Yeah.
00:52:09.569 --> 00:52:11.409
I've watched them, you know?
00:52:11.409 --> 00:52:11.529
Mm-hmm.
00:52:11.529 --> 00:52:14.969
Just like people watch me, people
at the gym are watching me.
00:52:15.059 --> 00:52:15.379
Yeah.
00:52:15.709 --> 00:52:22.189
And so you begin to watch people and
you know that you can trust them.
00:52:22.199 --> 00:52:22.489
Yeah.
00:52:22.599 --> 00:52:22.829
Mm-hmm.
00:52:22.849 --> 00:52:23.359
You know?
00:52:23.419 --> 00:52:27.299
And it's those people that when I'm
struggling, I'll just send a text and
00:52:27.299 --> 00:52:28.929
I'll say, "Hey, will you pray for me?"
00:52:29.099 --> 00:52:29.419
Mm-hmm.
00:52:29.429 --> 00:52:29.679
Yeah.
00:52:29.749 --> 00:52:31.709
And I know that they will, you know?
00:52:31.709 --> 00:52:31.929
Yeah.
00:52:31.929 --> 00:52:32.439
Mm-hmm.
00:52:32.439 --> 00:52:36.959
And it doesn't have to be a fall
on your knees and, you know…
00:52:37.569 --> 00:52:41.119
It can be a simple prayer said down
the road- Yeah, but I- … while
00:52:41.119 --> 00:52:44.199
you're- I feel like Myra and Jonica
both don't do simple prayers.
00:52:44.449 --> 00:52:44.809
Oh, no.
00:52:44.809 --> 00:52:45.039
No.
00:52:45.039 --> 00:52:47.679
I feel like they're both very
much- I agree … like a mm-mm.
00:52:47.709 --> 00:52:49.729
Myra said when she gets on the-
This is gonna be purposeful.
00:52:49.729 --> 00:52:53.679
She told us when, on her podcast
that when she's mowing- Yeah … she
00:52:53.679 --> 00:52:55.699
just, she's, that's her prayer time.
00:52:55.799 --> 00:52:56.119
Yeah.
00:52:56.479 --> 00:52:58.989
So I was like, "I need you
to mow for me sometimes too."
00:52:58.999 --> 00:52:59.339
Yeah.
00:52:59.339 --> 00:52:59.749
Yeah.
00:52:59.749 --> 00:53:01.189
But I feel like you're like that too.
00:53:01.199 --> 00:53:02.909
Like, I feel like- Mm-hmm … I
could call you and be like,
00:53:02.909 --> 00:53:04.169
"I need, I need you to pray."
00:53:04.589 --> 00:53:05.359
I- And you would do it.
00:53:05.369 --> 00:53:05.889
Yes.
00:53:06.119 --> 00:53:06.429
Yeah.
00:53:06.909 --> 00:53:07.519
I would.
00:53:07.519 --> 00:53:07.869
Mm-hmm.
00:53:07.869 --> 00:53:12.899
And that's one thing that I
am trying to get better at.
00:53:12.969 --> 00:53:15.799
You know, you see all the
posts on Facebook and-
00:53:15.799 --> 00:53:17.079
Mm-hmm … "Please pray for me."
00:53:17.099 --> 00:53:17.299
Mm-hmm.
00:53:17.389 --> 00:53:22.639
You know, and you see those, those
requests, and a lot of times when
00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:28.375
I'm scrolling, you know, and I see
those, I may not- comment- Mm-hmm
00:53:28.375 --> 00:53:34.455
or anything, but generally if I see one
and I know that person, then I'm gonna
00:53:34.465 --> 00:53:37.225
stop and I'm gonna say a little prayer.
00:53:37.525 --> 00:53:37.755
Yeah.
00:53:37.755 --> 00:53:39.815
You know, "God, I don't
know what's going on."
00:53:39.815 --> 00:53:40.145
Yeah.
00:53:40.285 --> 00:53:40.445
Mm-hmm.
00:53:40.455 --> 00:53:41.655
"But I know that you do."
00:53:42.015 --> 00:53:42.245
Yeah.
00:53:42.245 --> 00:53:46.195
"And I know that whatever the need
is, you can help them through that."
00:53:46.575 --> 00:53:55.845
And so I do, I think in part of this,
I am learning the value of prayer.
00:53:55.875 --> 00:53:56.185
Yeah.
00:53:56.345 --> 00:54:02.145
I've always known the value of prayer,
but sometimes there's a difference, you
00:54:02.145 --> 00:54:05.555
know- Yeah … of hearing and doing.
00:54:06.275 --> 00:54:10.915
Well, or even, like, doing
and leaning on prayer.
00:54:10.915 --> 00:54:11.155
Yes.
00:54:11.215 --> 00:54:11.825
You know what I mean?
00:54:11.845 --> 00:54:12.015
Yeah.
00:54:12.015 --> 00:54:14.665
Like being able to say, "No,
no, this is what's holding
00:54:14.665 --> 00:54:16.035
me up-" Yeah … "right now."
00:54:16.145 --> 00:54:16.415
Yeah.
00:54:16.435 --> 00:54:16.975
You know?
00:54:17.345 --> 00:54:17.685
Yeah.
00:54:18.115 --> 00:54:26.455
And so I think, you know, in all of that,
it's leaning on other people- Mm-hmm
00:54:26.465 --> 00:54:27.595
to get that strength.
00:54:27.695 --> 00:54:27.895
Mm-hmm.
00:54:28.175 --> 00:54:30.925
Um, and sometimes you just have to ask.
00:54:31.565 --> 00:54:36.845
But generally if you ask, I've
never had anyone say, "No, I
00:54:36.845 --> 00:54:38.425
can't, I can't pray for you."
00:54:38.435 --> 00:54:38.455
Yeah.
00:54:38.705 --> 00:54:39.295
Right, yeah.
00:54:39.305 --> 00:54:39.685
You know?
00:54:39.755 --> 00:54:39.795
Mm-hmm.
00:54:39.805 --> 00:54:40.345
Never.
00:54:40.895 --> 00:54:43.095
They have all been like, "Yes."
00:54:43.215 --> 00:54:43.515
Mm-hmm.
00:54:43.555 --> 00:54:47.935
You know, doesn't take them five seconds
to respond with that- Yeah … yes.
00:54:48.025 --> 00:54:48.355
Mm-hmm.
00:54:48.535 --> 00:54:56.345
And so I know, you know, I called, um, it
wasn't too long ago, um, that one morning
00:54:56.345 --> 00:55:02.065
I'd went to the gym, me and mom, Mom
had left, and I was struggling that day.
00:55:02.065 --> 00:55:04.685
I could tell, I could tell I was pushing.
00:55:05.245 --> 00:55:08.475
Um, I feel that sometimes-
Mm-hmm … you know, that I'm pushing
00:55:08.475 --> 00:55:14.455
myself, and I know that, but that's
part of my just, "I'm doing this."
00:55:14.465 --> 00:55:14.865
Je net.
00:55:14.865 --> 00:55:15.185
Yeah.
00:55:15.895 --> 00:55:17.335
That's, I'm- We're doing it.
00:55:17.335 --> 00:55:18.565
Yep … I'm gonna do it.
00:55:18.625 --> 00:55:18.675
Yeah.
00:55:18.685 --> 00:55:23.935
And devil, if you don't like it, you
don't like it, but I'm gonna keep pushing.
00:55:24.165 --> 00:55:24.495
Yeah.
00:55:24.515 --> 00:55:26.715
It's gonna wear me out,
but I'm gonna keep pushing.
00:55:26.715 --> 00:55:27.025
Yeah.
00:55:27.285 --> 00:55:27.525
Yeah.
00:55:27.535 --> 00:55:35.185
Um, and so I remember getting in my car
and I thought, "Okay, I am gonna sit
00:55:35.185 --> 00:55:38.045
here just for a second and kind of rest."
00:55:38.135 --> 00:55:38.405
Mm-hmm.
00:55:38.615 --> 00:55:45.215
And I remember just, I didn't hear
an audible word, but I remember
00:55:45.215 --> 00:55:49.665
hearing or just thinking, "You
don't have to do this alone."
00:55:51.755 --> 00:55:55.325
Yeah And I thought, "Who can I call?"
00:55:55.575 --> 00:55:56.412
'Cause it was like 8:00.
00:55:56.412 --> 00:55:56.795
Mm-hmm.
00:55:56.905 --> 00:55:59.265
So I thought, "Who can I call?"
00:55:59.475 --> 00:56:01.475
I thought, "I'm gonna call Tasha."
00:56:02.035 --> 00:56:02.045
Mm.
00:56:02.405 --> 00:56:04.555
And, uh, I've called Tasha before.
00:56:04.575 --> 00:56:07.445
Tasha and Chris, pastor-
Mm-hmm … they're busy.
00:56:07.475 --> 00:56:07.795
Yeah.
00:56:07.795 --> 00:56:08.003
You know?
00:56:08.003 --> 00:56:08.107
Yeah.
00:56:08.107 --> 00:56:09.275
And I, and I know that.
00:56:09.635 --> 00:56:11.085
Um, but she answered.
00:56:11.505 --> 00:56:13.685
And- … uh, she was like, "Hey, girl."
00:56:13.685 --> 00:56:14.755
And I was like, "Hey."
00:56:15.285 --> 00:56:16.495
I was like, "I need a favor.
00:56:16.505 --> 00:56:17.215
Can you help me?"
00:56:17.215 --> 00:56:19.215
And she was like, "Yes."
00:56:19.535 --> 00:56:22.365
And I was like, "Oh, it's not hard."
00:56:23.745 --> 00:56:24.325
She's like, "What?"
00:56:24.365 --> 00:56:26.465
Yeah, 'cause- Yeah … I said, "I
know- Well, I agree too … you're
00:56:26.465 --> 00:56:30.615
sitting there thinking- Yeah … 'Oh,
Lord, what have I just stepped into?'"
00:56:31.075 --> 00:56:32.585
'Cause I've had those thoughts, you know?
00:56:32.595 --> 00:56:32.715
Yeah.
00:56:33.125 --> 00:56:35.265
Um, and I said, "It's not hard.
00:56:35.395 --> 00:56:36.715
I just need you to pray."
00:56:36.765 --> 00:56:39.255
And she was like, "Most definitely."
00:56:39.275 --> 00:56:39.635
Yeah.
00:56:39.695 --> 00:56:40.235
You know?
00:56:40.495 --> 00:56:41.485
And she did.
00:56:41.495 --> 00:56:43.565
She prayed with me right
there- Aw … on the phone.
00:56:43.915 --> 00:56:47.265
And I remember that day, and
I text her the next morning,
00:56:47.265 --> 00:56:48.685
and I was like, "Thank you."
00:56:49.385 --> 00:56:52.955
'Cause I felt those prayers immediately.
00:56:53.025 --> 00:56:53.345
Yeah.
00:56:53.405 --> 00:56:57.795
I felt that refresh- Yeah … you
know- Yeah … that refreshment- Mm-hmm
00:56:57.795 --> 00:56:58.205
come in.
00:56:58.635 --> 00:57:01.085
So find a good church.
00:57:01.085 --> 00:57:01.395
Yeah.
00:57:01.435 --> 00:57:03.135
RFA is a great church.
00:57:03.155 --> 00:57:03.515
It is.
00:57:03.545 --> 00:57:03.855
Mm-hmm.
00:57:03.855 --> 00:57:07.485
And find a good church,
and find your people.
00:57:07.505 --> 00:57:07.775
Mm-hmm.
00:57:07.995 --> 00:57:13.995
You know, I think there are so many
at our church that I may not know
00:57:13.995 --> 00:57:18.575
them well- Mm-hmm … but I think if
I called upon any of them and said,
00:57:18.575 --> 00:57:20.735
"Hey, it's Jennifer, and I'm struggling.
00:57:20.735 --> 00:57:21.765
Would you pray for me?"
00:57:21.775 --> 00:57:22.195
Yeah.
00:57:22.755 --> 00:57:24.815
I don't think anyone would say no.
00:57:24.895 --> 00:57:25.295
No, they wouldn't.
00:57:25.295 --> 00:57:25.675
No.
00:57:26.105 --> 00:57:28.205
I mean, it's, you need to
surround yourself with…
00:57:28.205 --> 00:57:31.485
We've talked about that so much
on this podcast, is you need to
00:57:31.485 --> 00:57:33.845
surround yourself with believers.
00:57:33.885 --> 00:57:34.185
Yes.
00:57:34.195 --> 00:57:35.205
Nobody's perfect.
00:57:35.255 --> 00:57:35.515
Right.
00:57:35.515 --> 00:57:37.355
And, you know, I know people
might say, "Well, they're
00:57:37.365 --> 00:57:38.155
just a bunch of hypocrites."
00:57:38.165 --> 00:57:40.915
Well, h- yes, we do fail.
00:57:40.915 --> 00:57:41.745
We're not perfect.
00:57:41.805 --> 00:57:42.175
Right.
00:57:42.235 --> 00:57:43.295
But we're trying.
00:57:43.305 --> 00:57:44.820
That's why we're going to church.
00:57:44.820 --> 00:57:45.845
Yeah, that's why we're going to church.
00:57:45.845 --> 00:57:46.975
'Cause I need the guidance.
00:57:47.035 --> 00:57:47.455
Yeah.
00:57:47.485 --> 00:57:48.025
You know?
00:57:48.025 --> 00:57:48.235
Yeah.
00:57:48.235 --> 00:57:52.355
I need the reminders of, "Hey,
this is what I've done for you."
00:57:52.515 --> 00:57:52.855
Yeah.
00:57:53.045 --> 00:57:55.345
"This is what I'm going to do for you.
00:57:55.775 --> 00:57:58.075
This is what I have waiting for you."
00:57:58.075 --> 00:57:58.085
Mm.
00:57:58.085 --> 00:58:00.935
"This is what you're working toward."
00:58:01.045 --> 00:58:01.325
Yeah.
00:58:01.335 --> 00:58:01.695
Yeah.
00:58:01.785 --> 00:58:02.205
You know?
00:58:02.395 --> 00:58:03.495
Yeah, that's so true.
00:58:04.105 --> 00:58:04.825
So what…
00:58:04.915 --> 00:58:09.085
I mean, when your parents found
out when, about the diagnosis,
00:58:09.495 --> 00:58:11.065
what did they give you?
00:58:11.125 --> 00:58:13.945
I'm sure because they are, been in
the ministry, do you remember anything
00:58:13.945 --> 00:58:17.005
that stood out, especially with
your dad being a pastor and stuff?
00:58:17.265 --> 00:58:17.285
Yeah.
00:58:17.415 --> 00:58:17.605
What did he say?
00:58:20.189 --> 00:58:25.819
Nothing … I don't really
recall anything, you know, that
00:58:25.909 --> 00:58:27.659
just comes back to my memory.
00:58:27.669 --> 00:58:27.689
Yeah.
00:58:28.099 --> 00:58:32.229
Um, I remember just
knowing that he's got me.
00:58:32.389 --> 00:58:32.649
Yeah.
00:58:32.649 --> 00:58:34.139
That he's praying for me.
00:58:34.569 --> 00:58:38.469
Um- And there's nothing more
powerful than, like, a parent prayer.
00:58:38.509 --> 00:58:38.959
Yes.
00:58:38.969 --> 00:58:42.089
Because … And, you know, as a
parent, we're all parents in here.
00:58:42.089 --> 00:58:42.569
Yes.
00:58:42.859 --> 00:58:44.849
Um, and grand- and me
and you are grandparents.
00:58:44.849 --> 00:58:45.059
Yes.
00:58:45.099 --> 00:58:47.409
Um, I mean, I would give anything.
00:58:47.419 --> 00:58:47.449
Yes.
00:58:47.479 --> 00:58:50.739
I would say, you know, and it's not
a choice, but I've, I have prayed,
00:58:51.069 --> 00:58:54.759
"Take whatever mercy you're giving to
me, give it to my kids, grandkids."
00:58:55.209 --> 00:58:55.479
You know?
00:58:55.479 --> 00:58:58.149
And, uh, he doesn't … He has
enough for everybody, but I have
00:58:58.149 --> 00:58:59.959
prayed that, like, I, I'm fine.
00:59:00.019 --> 00:59:02.049
Give whatever- Yeah … to them.
00:59:02.619 --> 00:59:05.909
And I just know parent,
I mean, pray, pray.
00:59:06.099 --> 00:59:08.609
And you might think,
"Well, I've wasted time.
00:59:08.839 --> 00:59:09.859
I haven't prayed enough."
00:59:10.419 --> 00:59:14.109
Um, prayers are eternal, and they
are not bound by our time because
00:59:14.109 --> 00:59:15.069
they go to the throne room.
00:59:15.079 --> 00:59:15.409
Right.
00:59:15.559 --> 00:59:15.789
Yeah.
00:59:16.039 --> 00:59:17.289
So pray anyway.
00:59:17.329 --> 00:59:17.509
Yeah.
00:59:17.509 --> 00:59:21.509
Even if you feel like you've wasted
years of not praying, start now.
00:59:21.729 --> 00:59:21.829
Yeah.
00:59:21.879 --> 00:59:23.309
Uh, uh, God can put it anywhere in time.
00:59:23.549 --> 00:59:24.869
And keep praying.
00:59:24.979 --> 00:59:24.999
Yeah.
00:59:25.009 --> 00:59:25.369
You know?
00:59:25.409 --> 00:59:25.569
Yeah.
00:59:25.609 --> 00:59:29.709
Pray when you don't necessarily
feel that he even hears your prayer.
00:59:30.089 --> 00:59:30.289
Yeah.
00:59:30.299 --> 00:59:31.659
That's especially when you need to pray.
00:59:31.659 --> 00:59:31.889
Yeah.
00:59:32.209 --> 00:59:32.549
Mm-hmm.
00:59:32.709 --> 00:59:38.519
Like- Because so many times I can recall
going, "God, are can you even hear me?
00:59:38.529 --> 00:59:39.169
Hello?"
00:59:39.179 --> 00:59:39.549
Yeah.
00:59:39.609 --> 00:59:45.049
I just feel like those moments are the
moments where, like, feeling like little
00:59:45.069 --> 00:59:47.319
cartoons, you know, where you have, like,
the angel on one side and the devil.
00:59:47.329 --> 00:59:49.939
It's … That's when the devil is,
like, straight up in your ear, like-
00:59:49.939 --> 00:59:50.999
Yeah … "He can't hear you anyway."
00:59:51.009 --> 00:59:51.169
Yeah.
00:59:51.169 --> 00:59:51.699
Like, "What are you doing?"
00:59:51.699 --> 00:59:52.909
He's not done anything yet.
00:59:52.909 --> 00:59:56.039
And- Yeah … and that's
where breakthrough happens.
00:59:56.119 --> 01:00:01.359
That's where change is affected in the
upper atmosphere, you know- Yeah … as
01:00:01.359 --> 01:00:05.859
Thomas was talking about on his, um,
episode where, you know, like all
01:00:05.939 --> 01:00:07.719
Everything is spiritual warfare.
01:00:07.769 --> 01:00:07.979
Yes.
01:00:07.989 --> 01:00:13.193
So if you're hearing, "My prayer doesn't
matter- It's, it's not going anywhere.
01:00:13.213 --> 01:00:17.243
Like, that's your indica- again, I've
said this before, the devil is a liar.
01:00:17.273 --> 01:00:18.713
That's all he can do is lie.
01:00:18.723 --> 01:00:18.753
Yes.
01:00:18.763 --> 01:00:23.013
He'll give just enough truth to make
it feel like it's true, but it's a lie.
01:00:23.023 --> 01:00:23.363
Right.
01:00:23.393 --> 01:00:25.673
So if he's spinning it into
a lie, whatever he's saying,
01:00:25.703 --> 01:00:26.863
you know it's the opposite.
01:00:26.863 --> 01:00:26.893
Yeah.
01:00:26.893 --> 01:00:27.033
Yeah.
01:00:27.033 --> 01:00:29.963
So go forth and know that it's
powerful and going exactly
01:00:29.963 --> 01:00:30.863
straight up to the throne.
01:00:31.043 --> 01:00:31.233
Yeah.
01:00:31.233 --> 01:00:31.483
Yeah.
01:00:31.563 --> 01:00:34.023
And if he's fighting you
that hard, there's a reason.
01:00:34.033 --> 01:00:35.143
There's something happening.
01:00:35.143 --> 01:00:35.833
He wants you to be quiet.
01:00:35.833 --> 01:00:36.433
There is something out there.
01:00:36.443 --> 01:00:36.743
Yeah.
01:00:36.743 --> 01:00:36.753
Exactly.
01:00:36.753 --> 01:00:38.193
He wants you to be quiet.
01:00:38.333 --> 01:00:38.643
Yeah.
01:00:38.703 --> 01:00:40.443
He wants me to be defeated.
01:00:40.623 --> 01:00:40.933
Yeah.
01:00:41.013 --> 01:00:41.343
Mm-hmm.
01:00:41.343 --> 01:00:41.363
You know?
01:00:41.363 --> 01:00:47.353
He would like nothing more for me to stay
at home- Mm-hmm … all day, every day.
01:00:47.403 --> 01:00:47.743
Yeah.
01:00:47.743 --> 01:00:50.443
And just- For you to- … wallow … to
tell the people at the gym- … in
01:00:50.443 --> 01:00:52.413
my pity … I'm upset with God.
01:00:52.443 --> 01:00:52.743
Yeah.
01:00:52.773 --> 01:00:53.883
I've done everything right.
01:00:53.883 --> 01:00:56.673
I'm the prodigal brother, and I'm
just, I've done- Mm-hmm … all the
01:00:56.683 --> 01:00:59.783
things, and I, I'm afflicted with this.
01:00:59.833 --> 01:01:00.093
Yeah.
01:01:00.273 --> 01:01:00.583
Mm-hmm.
01:01:00.623 --> 01:01:01.383
It's not fair.
01:01:01.903 --> 01:01:02.423
It's not.
01:01:02.483 --> 01:01:03.413
It's not fair.
01:01:03.453 --> 01:01:03.663
No.
01:01:03.663 --> 01:01:04.433
It isn't fair.
01:01:04.443 --> 01:01:05.173
And I've told him.
01:01:05.183 --> 01:01:05.913
But- Yeah.
01:01:05.983 --> 01:01:06.543
Exactly.
01:01:06.543 --> 01:01:08.153
I've said that-
Exactly … a few times too.
01:01:08.153 --> 01:01:08.445
But it doesn't change his goodness.
01:01:08.445 --> 01:01:10.133
You know, I tell him respectfully.
01:01:10.253 --> 01:01:10.793
Yeah.
01:01:10.793 --> 01:01:11.050
Yeah.
01:01:11.050 --> 01:01:11.306
Exactly.
01:01:11.306 --> 01:01:12.563
And, and he knows.
01:01:12.643 --> 01:01:12.953
Mm-hmm.
01:01:13.043 --> 01:01:14.453
He knows my heart.
01:01:14.463 --> 01:01:14.483
Yeah.
01:01:14.493 --> 01:01:18.303
He- Yeah … he knows it before I
even let the words out of my mouth.
01:01:18.313 --> 01:01:18.923
Exactly.
01:01:18.923 --> 01:01:20.153
You know how I'm feeling.
01:01:20.203 --> 01:01:20.493
Yep.
01:01:20.563 --> 01:01:21.413
And he knows.
01:01:21.483 --> 01:01:26.033
And I think that it grieves him- Mm-hmm.
01:01:26.033 --> 01:01:28.533
Mm-hmm … that he can't
just make it happen.
01:01:28.533 --> 01:01:28.893
Yeah.
01:01:28.893 --> 01:01:29.353
Yeah.
01:01:29.473 --> 01:01:29.933
You know?
01:01:29.963 --> 01:01:30.866
But he knows the purpose behind it.
01:01:30.866 --> 01:01:34.083
But he knows the purpose-
Yeah … behind the waiting.
01:01:34.863 --> 01:01:35.253
Yeah.
01:01:35.433 --> 01:01:39.563
It's just me finding that purpose-
Yeah … behind the waiting.
01:01:39.563 --> 01:01:43.293
Well, it's gonna be a perfect
time when whoever is around you at
01:01:43.293 --> 01:01:45.053
that time needs to be there too.
01:01:45.063 --> 01:01:45.343
Yeah.
01:01:45.623 --> 01:01:46.033
Yeah.
01:01:46.083 --> 01:01:48.823
You know, he's going to get
all the glory for it too.
01:01:48.833 --> 01:01:49.193
Right.
01:01:50.013 --> 01:01:51.153
I just can't wait for that moment.
01:01:51.433 --> 01:01:52.163
I know.
01:01:52.163 --> 01:01:52.283
I know.
01:01:52.283 --> 01:01:52.583
I'm so excited about it.
01:01:52.583 --> 01:01:57.593
It's, you know, the other day I was in
the house and doing some stuff in the
01:01:57.593 --> 01:02:04.033
kitchen, and I remember, um, walking back
to the office, and so Edwin and Isaiah
01:02:04.033 --> 01:02:08.953
came home for lunch, and I come out of the
office and I'm like, "Where's my cane?"
01:02:09.373 --> 01:02:12.673
And Edwin goes, "It's, uh,
over here by the kitchen sink."
01:02:12.673 --> 01:02:17.523
And I'm like, "How did I get
to the office without my cane?"
01:02:18.373 --> 01:02:22.453
And I was like, "That's,
that's how it's gonna happen."
01:02:22.453 --> 01:02:22.743
Yes.
01:02:22.743 --> 01:02:24.243
That's exactly how it's gonna happen.
01:02:24.243 --> 01:02:26.023
That I'm just gonna take off- Yeah.
01:02:26.023 --> 01:02:28.803
Mm-hmm … and then be like, "Hang on."
01:02:30.109 --> 01:02:30.959
What just happened here?
01:02:30.969 --> 01:02:31.569
Yeah, yeah.
01:02:31.629 --> 01:02:32.029
You know?
01:02:32.209 --> 01:02:32.629
Yeah.
01:02:33.199 --> 01:02:35.166
Yeah, that is- And so- Oh, that's
just so awesome … it's just
01:02:35.166 --> 01:02:37.349
so cool to, to think about that.
01:02:37.389 --> 01:02:41.409
And even in just that little bit of
a moment, it's just like a little
01:02:41.419 --> 01:02:44.069
sparkle that God says- Yep … "See?"
01:02:44.119 --> 01:02:46.119
It's a glimmer into the future.
01:02:46.359 --> 01:02:48.869
It's a glimmer into my promise-
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm … being fulfilled.
01:02:49.099 --> 01:02:49.689
100%.
01:02:49.719 --> 01:02:50.019
Yeah.
01:02:50.269 --> 01:02:50.739
I love it.
01:02:50.739 --> 01:02:51.379
So good.
01:02:52.249 --> 01:02:52.269
Yeah.
01:02:52.399 --> 01:02:52.649
Okay.
01:02:53.009 --> 01:02:53.159
Okay.
01:02:53.289 --> 01:03:01.129
Um, you know, and there's been moments
of just struggling, um, just occasionally
01:03:01.129 --> 01:03:04.179
I'd be like, "I'm going to town."
01:03:04.189 --> 01:03:04.559
Mm-hmm.
01:03:04.569 --> 01:03:10.439
And, um, Edwin would be working, and so
he would be out in his shop or somewhere
01:03:10.659 --> 01:03:12.729
doing, you know- Yeah … his stuff.
01:03:13.219 --> 01:03:21.899
Um, and sometimes you or I, um,
miss, you know- Mm-hmm … what
01:03:21.919 --> 01:03:23.889
used to be normal for me.
01:03:23.889 --> 01:03:24.849
Yeah, yeah.
01:03:24.849 --> 01:03:27.779
I used to- Yeah … if I needed
something at Walmart, just go get it.
01:03:27.839 --> 01:03:28.249
Mm-hmm.
01:03:28.319 --> 01:03:31.629
You know, if I needed something
or wanted something or
01:03:31.964 --> 01:03:34.534
wanted to go look at Hobby Lobby, just go.
01:03:34.534 --> 01:03:34.924
Yeah.
01:03:34.924 --> 01:03:35.164
Yeah.
01:03:35.174 --> 01:03:37.714
You know, just- It wasn't an ordeal.
01:03:37.794 --> 01:03:38.264
Yes.
01:03:38.274 --> 01:03:38.294
Yeah.
01:03:38.304 --> 01:03:39.574
It wasn't an ordeal.
01:03:39.764 --> 01:03:43.044
Didn't have to try to find
somebody to go with me, which
01:03:43.044 --> 01:03:44.574
Mom- Mm-hmm … goes with me.
01:03:44.784 --> 01:03:48.464
She's like, "If you ever need a friend
to go to Hobby Lobby- … I'm here."
01:03:48.554 --> 01:03:49.034
Yeah.
01:03:49.084 --> 01:03:49.904
Me too, by the way.
01:03:50.704 --> 01:03:53.864
And so, um, one day I was just
01:03:54.014 --> 01:03:57.884
I was struggling that day, and
sometimes I have those moments
01:03:57.884 --> 01:04:00.354
of just poor pitiful Jennifer.
01:04:00.364 --> 01:04:00.634
Of course.
01:04:00.644 --> 01:04:00.664
Yeah.
01:04:00.674 --> 01:04:01.163
You know?
01:04:01.714 --> 01:04:06.223
Um, and it was one of them, those
moments, and I remember just
01:04:06.223 --> 01:04:08.544
driving to Walmart, you know.
01:04:08.544 --> 01:04:12.604
I just needed to get away
and get out of the house.
01:04:12.644 --> 01:04:12.664
Mm-hmm.
01:04:12.914 --> 01:04:16.924
And so I was sitting in Walmart
parking lot, and I was watching
01:04:16.953 --> 01:04:21.364
people go in and out of Walmart,
and they've got their packages
01:04:21.364 --> 01:04:24.173
and, you know, they're just going.
01:04:24.633 --> 01:04:28.614
You know, some probably aren't that
happy to be going into Walmart.
01:04:28.614 --> 01:04:28.674
Of course.
01:04:28.684 --> 01:04:29.144
Yeah.
01:04:29.964 --> 01:04:30.384
Some, some are.
01:04:30.384 --> 01:04:30.534
The kids are always excited.
01:04:30.534 --> 01:04:31.914
I have to, I have to confess.
01:04:31.914 --> 01:04:35.083
I'm rarely happy to be going into Walmart.
01:04:35.113 --> 01:04:35.513
Yeah.
01:04:35.624 --> 01:04:36.004
Just…
01:04:36.663 --> 01:04:37.403
Uh, yeah.
01:04:37.403 --> 01:04:37.864
Ugh.
01:04:37.864 --> 01:04:42.883
And, and I can remember back in the day
when I did get to go, if it was grocery
01:04:42.883 --> 01:04:45.554
shopping, it was always like, "Ugh."
01:04:45.563 --> 01:04:45.873
Yeah.
01:04:45.924 --> 01:04:47.203
"Really don't wanna be here."
01:04:47.214 --> 01:04:47.524
Yeah.
01:04:47.534 --> 01:04:47.773
You know?
01:04:48.313 --> 01:04:48.623
Yep.
01:04:48.703 --> 01:04:54.164
Um, but I was sitting there that
day and just struggling, and
01:04:54.244 --> 01:04:56.534
I remember that I was crying.
01:04:57.174 --> 01:04:57.313
Mm-hmm.
01:04:57.324 --> 01:05:02.263
You know, sitting there- Yeah … and,
uh, just talking to God and kinda telling
01:05:02.263 --> 01:05:04.554
him my heart of, "This isn't fair."
01:05:04.563 --> 01:05:04.584
Mm-hmm.
01:05:04.653 --> 01:05:06.474
I'm sure I said that at that moment.
01:05:06.703 --> 01:05:06.973
Yeah.
01:05:06.994 --> 01:05:11.744
You know, just kinda struggling,
um, watching people do something
01:05:11.744 --> 01:05:13.644
that I used to could do.
01:05:13.733 --> 01:05:14.503
With ease, yeah.
01:05:14.504 --> 01:05:15.713
With ease, you know.
01:05:16.083 --> 01:05:22.494
Um, and so as I was sitting there,
I looked over and about two parking
01:05:22.504 --> 01:05:25.163
spots away, my brother pulls up.
01:05:25.613 --> 01:05:26.363
And I'm like, "Ugh."
01:05:28.723 --> 01:05:35.803
You know, and, and at the time I
had a unique vehicle and- Mm-hmm
01:05:35.803 --> 01:05:38.133
my license plate was unique.
01:05:38.174 --> 01:05:38.293
Mm-hmm.
01:05:38.303 --> 01:05:42.083
And so- So there was no mistaking that
it was you … there was no mistaking.
01:05:42.093 --> 01:05:42.694
No hiding.
01:05:42.794 --> 01:05:43.823
And no hiding.
01:05:43.883 --> 01:05:48.983
And so I see him start to get out and I'm
like, I've gotta, you know, dry my eyes.
01:05:49.083 --> 01:05:51.273
Um- Yeah … 'cause I've been
sitting here- Gotta get control.
01:05:51.484 --> 01:05:52.464
I gotta … Yes.
01:05:52.484 --> 01:05:52.884
Yeah.
01:05:52.973 --> 01:05:56.283
'Cause, you know, when you
see your people- Mm-hmm.
01:05:56.294 --> 01:06:00.994
Yeah … and you're struggling,
it's easy to just fall apart.
01:06:01.104 --> 01:06:01.434
Yeah.
01:06:01.514 --> 01:06:01.844
Mm-hmm.
01:06:01.854 --> 01:06:07.204
And, um, so of course he walks
up to my window and taps on
01:06:07.204 --> 01:06:09.103
the window and I roll it down.
01:06:09.563 --> 01:06:10.683
He's like, "What are you doing?"
01:06:10.964 --> 01:06:14.023
And I'm like, "I'm just sitting here."
01:06:14.113 --> 01:06:16.783
And he goes, "You've been crying."
01:06:16.953 --> 01:06:16.974
Mm-hmm.
01:06:17.223 --> 01:06:20.234
And I was like … He goes,
"Do you need something?"
01:06:20.234 --> 01:06:21.123
And I was like, "No."
01:06:22.063 --> 01:06:25.503
And he goes, "Jennifer, please don't cry."
01:06:27.354 --> 01:06:31.014
And he, I had my hand on the
window, and he grabbed my
01:06:31.014 --> 01:06:33.944
hand, and he was choking back.
01:06:33.944 --> 01:06:38.104
And my brother's usually- Yeah … just-
Yeah … you know, he's one of those-
01:06:38.104 --> 01:06:42.084
A big guy … strong- I mean, like,
strong and- … um, you know, people.
01:06:42.344 --> 01:06:42.504
Yeah.
01:06:42.514 --> 01:06:45.444
He's very dependable,
very strong, very- Yeah
01:06:45.654 --> 01:06:46.044
loving.
01:06:46.044 --> 01:06:46.594
Formidable.
01:06:46.784 --> 01:06:48.574
But he's- Yeah … he's a man, you know?
01:06:48.714 --> 01:06:48.984
Yeah.
01:06:49.314 --> 01:06:56.214
Um, and so to see him kinda break-
Mm-hmm … and- Yeah … and hear
01:06:56.214 --> 01:07:00.504
that, yeah, I kinda lost it at that
moment, and I'm like, "I'll be okay."
01:07:00.504 --> 01:07:00.854
You know?
01:07:00.854 --> 01:07:01.514
I don't blame you.
01:07:01.514 --> 01:07:02.563
There's something about men crying.
01:07:02.563 --> 01:07:02.823
Yeah.
01:07:02.824 --> 01:07:03.144
Yeah.
01:07:03.144 --> 01:07:03.444
Yeah.
01:07:03.444 --> 01:07:03.754
I'm just like, "I can't."
01:07:03.754 --> 01:07:04.613
And your brother.
01:07:04.804 --> 01:07:05.174
Yeah.
01:07:05.184 --> 01:07:05.524
Yeah.
01:07:05.883 --> 01:07:07.923
Yeah, you know, 'cause this is my brother.
01:07:07.934 --> 01:07:08.884
We fought growing up.
01:07:08.884 --> 01:07:09.413
Oh, yeah.
01:07:09.413 --> 01:07:09.834
Oh, yeah.
01:07:09.834 --> 01:07:10.093
Yeah.
01:07:10.824 --> 01:07:15.153
And, uh, so I remember he was
like, "Do you need something?"
01:07:15.164 --> 01:07:16.164
And I was like, "No."
01:07:16.333 --> 01:07:19.153
He goes, "You don't, I'll go get it.
01:07:19.284 --> 01:07:21.014
I'll bring it back out to you.
01:07:21.363 --> 01:07:23.503
You know, I'll get whatever you need."
01:07:23.504 --> 01:07:25.613
And I'm like, "I don't,
I don't need anything."
01:07:26.333 --> 01:07:27.853
And he's like, "Okay."
01:07:28.543 --> 01:07:30.114
He goes, "Are you gonna be okay?"
01:07:30.144 --> 01:07:30.944
And I'm like, "Yeah."
01:07:31.213 --> 01:07:31.613
Mm-hmm.
01:07:31.734 --> 01:07:34.304
So I had to go find another parking lot.
01:07:36.263 --> 01:07:38.923
And a different vehicle- Yeah … that
didn't stand out so much.
01:07:38.923 --> 01:07:40.893
Had to go somewhere he's not gonna go.
01:07:41.344 --> 01:07:43.843
Hobby Lobby probably would've
been a better choice.
01:07:44.253 --> 01:07:44.943
Small town.
01:07:44.944 --> 01:07:45.004
Yeah.
01:07:45.004 --> 01:07:45.112
Small town.
01:07:45.112 --> 01:07:45.853
Men don't go in there unless they have to.
01:07:45.853 --> 01:07:48.043
Men don't go- Oh … unless
their wives drag them.
01:07:48.344 --> 01:07:48.774
I don't know.
01:07:48.774 --> 01:07:53.373
Mine, my husband has 75 million
hobbies, so- Yeah … I feel like
01:07:53.374 --> 01:07:56.673
he goes more often, but- That's a s-
He's a weirdo … I love that story.
01:07:56.933 --> 01:07:57.283
Yeah.
01:07:57.603 --> 01:07:57.893
I do.
01:07:57.923 --> 01:07:58.294
I love it.
01:07:58.294 --> 01:07:59.353
It's so nice.
01:07:59.403 --> 01:08:05.162
It's a, it's a good reminder that-
Like you said, you fight all growing
01:08:05.162 --> 01:08:06.332
up, but they're still like- Yeah
01:08:06.382 --> 01:08:08.172
at the end of the day- Well, and also
just- … they're gonna fight for
01:08:08.172 --> 01:08:11.192
you … that God is not, is gonna
make sure that you're always seen.
01:08:11.332 --> 01:08:11.602
Yeah.
01:08:11.652 --> 01:08:12.292
Yes.
01:08:12.522 --> 01:08:15.292
He's gonna- You know, I've not
thought about that- … send
01:08:15.292 --> 01:08:15.812
somebody … but that's good.
01:08:15.812 --> 01:08:15.852
He's gonna send somebody.
01:08:15.852 --> 01:08:16.102
Yeah.
01:08:16.782 --> 01:08:20.082
Be like, "Here's-" At the
moment, you know, when I'm-
01:08:20.082 --> 01:08:20.142
"Here's one of your loved ones"
01:08:20.142 --> 01:08:20.662
I think I'm hiding.
01:08:20.662 --> 01:08:20.972
Yeah.
01:08:21.012 --> 01:08:21.442
Yeah.
01:08:22.272 --> 01:08:22.482
Yep.
01:08:22.502 --> 01:08:24.272
He's like, "Nah, you're not hiding."
01:08:24.272 --> 01:08:25.132
I mean, that's a- "I see you."
01:08:25.142 --> 01:08:27.242
It's not a coincidence that
he came at the exact time.
01:08:27.352 --> 01:08:29.212
Right, you know, parked
two ti- two spots down.
01:08:29.212 --> 01:08:29.782
Two car.
01:08:29.882 --> 01:08:30.152
Yeah.
01:08:30.262 --> 01:08:33.592
'Cause we were fairly close
to the front of the entrance.
01:08:33.602 --> 01:08:33.672
Mm-hmm.
01:08:33.752 --> 01:08:34.202
You know?
01:08:34.492 --> 01:08:34.662
Yeah.
01:08:34.672 --> 01:08:37.001
I was not parked way far out.
01:08:37.042 --> 01:08:37.062
Yeah.
01:08:37.301 --> 01:08:39.941
I was parked, I could see the entrance.
01:08:40.012 --> 01:08:40.412
Mm-hmm.
01:08:40.702 --> 01:08:41.141
You know?
01:08:41.152 --> 01:08:44.982
So I was right there, and he
was just two spots down from me.
01:08:45.132 --> 01:08:45.452
Yeah.
01:08:45.582 --> 01:08:49.371
And so yeah, he, he
knows me and he sees me.
01:08:49.832 --> 01:08:54.851
Um, and you talked about, or
you asked about my parents.
01:08:54.891 --> 01:08:55.162
Mm-hmm.
01:08:55.332 --> 01:09:02.001
Um, I have a picture that Pastor Jerry,
uh, at Pastor's Gateway, uh, sent me.
01:09:02.062 --> 01:09:10.222
When, when dad retired, Jerry- Mm-hmm
… we merged- Mm-hmm … the two churches.
01:09:10.231 --> 01:09:14.362
Um, so Pastor Jerry and Theresa, they…
01:09:14.672 --> 01:09:17.551
We've known them all my life pretty much.
01:09:17.562 --> 01:09:17.582
Yeah.
01:09:17.892 --> 01:09:26.422
Um, and they accepted my parents so great,
and they honored my parents so much.
01:09:26.471 --> 01:09:26.671
Mm-hmm.
01:09:26.681 --> 01:09:30.582
And I have told them multiple times,
their whole family, their whole
01:09:30.582 --> 01:09:36.511
church have honored my parents, you
know, um, when they stepped down.
01:09:36.611 --> 01:09:43.478
And Mom and Dad still attended there
for quite a while, um- Just because
01:09:43.508 --> 01:09:44.658
that was Dad's church, you know?
01:09:44.668 --> 01:09:45.198
Yeah.
01:09:45.488 --> 01:09:45.668
Yeah.
01:09:45.678 --> 01:09:52.128
Um, and Dad even mentioned one time,
he said, "I didn't get to see the
01:09:52.128 --> 01:09:58.548
vision that God had given me of that
church being full under my ministry."
01:09:58.548 --> 01:09:58.978
Mm-hmm.
01:09:58.978 --> 01:10:05.588
He said, "But I got to see it sitting
in the pew under Jerry's ministry."
01:10:05.588 --> 01:10:05.868
Yeah.
01:10:06.038 --> 01:10:06.438
Wow.
01:10:06.498 --> 01:10:08.478
That building being full.
01:10:08.758 --> 01:10:13.028
And so that was just confirmation,
I believe, for my dad-
01:10:13.097 --> 01:10:15.347
Mm-hmm … saying, you know, yes.
01:10:15.347 --> 01:10:15.737
Yeah.
01:10:16.018 --> 01:10:19.308
He took it- He took it … as far as he
could, and then- And then … and that
01:10:19.308 --> 01:10:22.958
speaks really highly of him, that he would
still go- I was just about to say that
01:10:23.038 --> 01:10:25.578
… and be behind the vision- Yes … of that.
01:10:25.588 --> 01:10:25.608
Yeah.
01:10:25.768 --> 01:10:28.597
Well, and that he, there
was no offense in that.
01:10:28.627 --> 01:10:28.647
No.
01:10:28.658 --> 01:10:31.538
I, why didn't I get to be the one
to see the fulfillment of that?
01:10:31.827 --> 01:10:32.248
You know what I mean?
01:10:32.248 --> 01:10:34.638
That's, that speaks volumes-
Yes … of your dad.
01:10:34.638 --> 01:10:38.037
Like- Mm-hmm … that- My
dad was a true shepherd.
01:10:38.257 --> 01:10:38.927
Yes.
01:10:38.927 --> 01:10:41.537
I, I have said that multiple times.
01:10:42.097 --> 01:10:46.618
My dad would leave the 99
and go search for that one.
01:10:46.937 --> 01:10:47.167
Yeah.
01:10:47.218 --> 01:10:48.407
And that was my dad.
01:10:48.678 --> 01:10:56.067
And, you know, I can honestly
say that he loved everyone.
01:10:56.367 --> 01:10:56.777
Yeah.
01:10:56.777 --> 01:11:02.288
If, if they offended him, he was easy
to forgive them and look past it.
01:11:02.528 --> 01:11:02.778
Yeah.
01:11:02.788 --> 01:11:06.537
You know, he would've went after them if
they would've been the one that wandered.
01:11:06.888 --> 01:11:10.718
He would've still went after
them, even if that offense
01:11:10.737 --> 01:11:12.927
had still been real, you know?
01:11:13.108 --> 01:11:13.398
Yeah.
01:11:13.417 --> 01:11:17.327
He would've left, because he
knew that that was his calling.
01:11:17.627 --> 01:11:25.614
Um, but Pastor Jerry sent me a picture one
day of my dad at a prayer meeting, and it
01:11:25.614 --> 01:11:29.364
was not even like a called prayer meeting.
01:11:29.374 --> 01:11:32.794
It was just some of the men, they
opened the church- Mm-hmm … early.
01:11:33.154 --> 01:11:37.074
Some of the men would go and
just spend whatever time they
01:11:37.074 --> 01:11:38.844
wanted to and just leave.
01:11:39.084 --> 01:11:39.404
Mm-hmm.
01:11:39.414 --> 01:11:42.694
So it wasn't anything set in
stone, we're gonna be praying
01:11:42.694 --> 01:11:44.164
from this time to this time.
01:11:44.634 --> 01:11:48.554
Um, but he sent me a picture of
my dad just sprawled out on the
01:11:48.554 --> 01:11:51.004
floor- Oh … just face down.
01:11:51.014 --> 01:11:51.044
Mm-hmm.
01:11:51.664 --> 01:11:54.414
And he goes, "I bet he's praying for you."
01:11:54.763 --> 01:11:55.283
Oh.
01:11:55.344 --> 01:11:57.904
And I was like, "There's
no doubt in my mind."
01:11:57.943 --> 01:11:58.153
Yeah.
01:11:58.154 --> 01:11:58.524
Yeah.
01:11:58.713 --> 01:11:59.813
No doubt in my mind.
01:11:59.824 --> 01:12:00.034
Yeah.
01:12:00.544 --> 01:12:04.323
And, uh, I have that picture, and
so sometimes, you know, you're
01:12:04.324 --> 01:12:06.983
looking through your pictures-
Yeah … and I'll pass it.
01:12:06.993 --> 01:12:07.013
Yeah.
01:12:07.373 --> 01:12:11.163
And I'll be like, "Well-" Well, and those
prayers are still in the atmosphere.
01:12:11.164 --> 01:12:11.864
They're still there.
01:12:11.884 --> 01:12:12.024
Yeah.
01:12:12.064 --> 01:12:12.624
Still living.
01:12:12.634 --> 01:12:17.044
Still- And now he's up in heaven- Yeah
… with Jesus, and I just think that he
01:12:17.044 --> 01:12:21.503
probably goes up to him every once in a
while and he's like, "Hey, remember you?"
01:12:22.644 --> 01:12:22.814
Yeah.
01:12:22.814 --> 01:12:23.204
Pour it out.
01:12:23.224 --> 01:12:23.674
Yeah.
01:12:23.794 --> 01:12:26.673
Just any- Yeah … you know,
she's ready- Yeah … anytime.
01:12:27.244 --> 01:12:31.063
And so I think he's up there
waiting- Yeah … and watching.
01:12:31.823 --> 01:12:32.693
He's gonna see it.
01:12:32.704 --> 01:12:33.214
He's gonna see it.
01:12:33.214 --> 01:12:33.654
Yeah.
01:12:33.964 --> 01:12:36.514
He's gonna be like … Jesus
will be like, "Hey, come here.
01:12:36.514 --> 01:12:37.163
I want you to watch this."
01:12:37.234 --> 01:12:38.363
Yeah, exactly.
01:12:38.373 --> 01:12:38.393
Yeah.
01:12:38.463 --> 01:12:38.803
"Come here.
01:12:38.803 --> 01:12:40.053
I got something I wanna show you."
01:12:40.073 --> 01:12:40.543
Yeah.
01:12:40.604 --> 01:12:40.914
Yeah.
01:12:41.143 --> 01:12:41.823
Oh, I can't wait.
01:12:42.083 --> 01:12:42.844
I cannot wait.
01:12:42.844 --> 01:12:44.723
Can't wait.
01:12:44.773 --> 01:12:47.063
Well, this has been so, so good.
01:12:47.073 --> 01:12:50.173
I mean, you can just, I feel like you
can feel the presence- Yes … when
01:12:50.173 --> 01:12:52.283
you're talking of Jesus in here.
01:12:52.323 --> 01:12:52.933
I really do.
01:12:53.523 --> 01:12:58.893
Um, but if, we always ask our
guests if there's one, um, moment
01:12:58.903 --> 01:13:02.383
in Biblical history that you could
go back and witness, uh, what would
01:13:02.383 --> 01:13:03.623
you wanna go back and witness?
01:13:04.283 --> 01:13:09.053
So I knew this question was coming, and
I had thought about it, and I thought,
01:13:09.103 --> 01:13:11.653
I would like to go back and see Esther.
01:13:12.023 --> 01:13:12.493
Mm-hmm.
01:13:12.503 --> 01:13:14.603
Um, I love the story of Esther.
01:13:14.613 --> 01:13:14.633
Yeah.
01:13:15.083 --> 01:13:19.603
But then, uh, the other day I
was thinking about that and,
01:13:19.633 --> 01:13:21.283
you know, what I was gonna say.
01:13:21.333 --> 01:13:21.583
Mm-hmm.
01:13:21.583 --> 01:13:22.413
My story.
01:13:22.813 --> 01:13:27.829
And I got to thinking and I thought-
What about the man that sat by the pool?
01:13:27.919 --> 01:13:28.369
Yeah.
01:13:28.829 --> 01:13:29.829
Oh, that's such a good one.
01:13:30.119 --> 01:13:30.149
Yes.
01:13:30.319 --> 01:13:30.619
I know.
01:13:31.419 --> 01:13:37.179
And I thought, you know, I would like
to see the people's reaction- Mm-hmm.
01:13:37.269 --> 01:13:40.319
Yeah … that were, that
passed him every single day.
01:13:40.329 --> 01:13:40.539
Yeah.
01:13:40.599 --> 01:13:40.769
Yeah.
01:13:40.769 --> 01:13:42.269
They were familiar with him.
01:13:42.279 --> 01:13:42.299
Yeah.
01:13:42.319 --> 01:13:43.039
They knew.
01:13:43.219 --> 01:13:45.339
They knew- Yeah … why
he was sitting there.
01:13:45.709 --> 01:13:49.119
They knew that he had been sitting
there, you know, all this- They probably
01:13:49.119 --> 01:13:50.769
thought he was just such a schmuck.
01:13:50.819 --> 01:13:51.129
Yeah.
01:13:51.129 --> 01:13:52.779
Like, "Oh, this poor cat-"
Curious … "sitting here."
01:13:53.069 --> 01:13:53.339
Yeah.
01:13:53.389 --> 01:13:53.789
Yep.
01:13:53.809 --> 01:13:55.859
Sitting here, still-
My God … by the pool.
01:13:55.959 --> 01:13:56.899
Exactly.
01:13:56.969 --> 01:13:59.789
Still asking if someone
would help him, you know?
01:13:59.799 --> 01:14:00.409
Mm-hmm.
01:14:00.409 --> 01:14:00.469
Mm-hmm.
01:14:00.469 --> 01:14:03.279
And so I would like to, I
think I would like to see that.
01:14:03.279 --> 01:14:03.639
Yeah.
01:14:03.639 --> 01:14:08.239
I would like to see that- I do
too … that come to, to life.
01:14:08.249 --> 01:14:08.609
Yeah.
01:14:08.879 --> 01:14:13.619
And just to hear the story and
to see the people's reaction.
01:14:13.649 --> 01:14:14.039
Mm-hmm.
01:14:14.829 --> 01:14:15.049
Yeah.
01:14:15.049 --> 01:14:18.889
Get a glimpse of what's gonna- Yeah
… happen when I receive my healing.
01:14:19.029 --> 01:14:19.049
Yeah.
01:14:19.059 --> 01:14:19.469
Yep.
01:14:19.479 --> 01:14:20.249
Yes.
01:14:20.339 --> 01:14:21.089
Yes.
01:14:21.109 --> 01:14:21.519
Yeah.
01:14:21.649 --> 01:14:22.189
Oh, man.
01:14:22.209 --> 01:14:22.719
I like it.
01:14:22.789 --> 01:14:24.679
I just, I'm so ready for that moment.
01:14:24.679 --> 01:14:24.949
Yeah.
01:14:25.819 --> 01:14:26.689
We're gonna hear about it.
01:14:27.049 --> 01:14:28.509
Y'all listening are gonna hear about it.
01:14:28.559 --> 01:14:28.589
Yep.
01:14:28.609 --> 01:14:29.349
That's right.
01:14:29.589 --> 01:14:33.750
A- and if not, just open your doors and
your windows, 'cause I'm gonna shout it-
01:14:33.929 --> 01:14:35.089
from the mountains, so.
01:14:35.939 --> 01:14:36.419
Yeah.
01:14:36.459 --> 01:14:37.039
Yep.
01:14:37.199 --> 01:14:38.859
Not many shouldn't…
01:14:38.989 --> 01:14:39.289
Yeah.
01:14:39.369 --> 01:14:39.649
Yeah.
01:14:39.659 --> 01:14:40.969
It should be heard.
01:14:40.979 --> 01:14:41.499
Yeah, yeah.
01:14:41.559 --> 01:14:42.439
But everybody's gonna hear it.
01:14:42.439 --> 01:14:42.929
It will.
01:14:42.939 --> 01:14:44.409
Well, people are gonna join with you too.
01:14:44.459 --> 01:14:45.039
Oh, yeah.
01:14:45.039 --> 01:14:45.309
Yeah.
01:14:45.309 --> 01:14:46.770
But, and we're gonna have you back on.
01:14:47.079 --> 01:14:47.409
Yes.
01:14:47.409 --> 01:14:48.469
You're gonna have a part two to this.
01:14:48.499 --> 01:14:48.989
Yes.
01:14:49.040 --> 01:14:49.769
Mm-hmm.
01:14:49.769 --> 01:14:51.259
So, yeah, I look forward to that.
01:14:51.259 --> 01:14:51.469
Yeah.
01:14:51.919 --> 01:14:55.869
Well, um, I've not ever prayed,
like, at the end of a podcast, but
01:14:55.869 --> 01:14:57.579
I do feel like we should because…
01:14:57.619 --> 01:15:01.019
And I want people who are listening
to join in, even though this is
01:15:01.019 --> 01:15:03.119
prerecorded, um- But prayers are eternal.
01:15:03.119 --> 01:15:03.339
Yeah.
01:15:03.339 --> 01:15:03.539
Yes.
01:15:03.549 --> 01:15:07.959
Prayers are eternal, and, you know, by the
time this airs, you may already be healed.
01:15:08.499 --> 01:15:11.049
But, I mean, I'm believing
that you will be.
01:15:11.079 --> 01:15:11.289
Yes.
01:15:11.289 --> 01:15:13.569
And this'll just be, and then we'll
hurry up and get you on for part two.
01:15:14.829 --> 01:15:15.169
That sounds good.
01:15:15.189 --> 01:15:15.209
So.
01:15:15.289 --> 01:15:16.449
I'll be back in two weeks.
01:15:16.479 --> 01:15:16.639
Yeah.
01:15:17.159 --> 01:15:17.259
Exactly.
01:15:17.259 --> 01:15:17.759
Okay, okay.
01:15:17.759 --> 01:15:18.049
Yes.
01:15:18.069 --> 01:15:19.119
I'm living with that, yes.
01:15:19.119 --> 01:15:19.253
Yep.
01:15:19.253 --> 01:15:21.739
And we will have to, like,
bump this up to the front.
01:15:21.739 --> 01:15:22.169
Exactly.
01:15:22.169 --> 01:15:24.169
I'll be like- That's
right … "Sorry, everybody else."
01:15:24.169 --> 01:15:26.009
Part two coming.
01:15:26.009 --> 01:15:28.159
But, um, so let's just pray together.
01:15:28.209 --> 01:15:28.409
Okay.
01:15:28.419 --> 01:15:28.699
Okay.
01:15:29.099 --> 01:15:30.919
Father, I just thank you for Jennifer.
01:15:31.199 --> 01:15:36.559
I thank you for your healing power
that you, you promised us so long
01:15:36.559 --> 01:15:38.409
ago when Jesus died on that cross.
01:15:38.410 --> 01:15:42.159
It's already a promise that we
have, and we are asking for that
01:15:42.160 --> 01:15:45.169
to be, um, fulfilled in our sight.
01:15:45.419 --> 01:15:45.539
Yeah.
01:15:45.569 --> 01:15:50.879
Because we know it's Jennifer's, and we
are standing together with many, many,
01:15:50.879 --> 01:15:54.619
many others who are believing for this
healing, believing that we are going to
01:15:54.619 --> 01:15:57.400
see it immediately, and I just thank you.
01:15:57.419 --> 01:16:01.857
That's all that there's left to do, is
just thank you for this Our faith to
01:16:01.857 --> 01:16:03.997
become sight because it is going to.
01:16:04.357 --> 01:16:08.357
And God, so many, I'm just gonna
pray for the after effects now.
01:16:08.367 --> 01:16:13.237
So many- Yes … so many are going to
be healed, are going to be saved through
01:16:13.237 --> 01:16:15.067
this miracle that we're gonna witness.
01:16:15.107 --> 01:16:18.577
We thank you right now
that it's almost here.
01:16:18.607 --> 01:16:19.077
Yes.
01:16:19.127 --> 01:16:23.287
And we are going to see it, and we're
gonna hear about it for years to
01:16:23.287 --> 01:16:27.497
come because there's gonna be so many
more miracles- Yes … that are just
01:16:27.497 --> 01:16:29.477
like a domino effect with this one.
01:16:29.907 --> 01:16:33.337
And we just give you all the praise
and glory because it's all yours,
01:16:33.777 --> 01:16:37.947
and we're just gonna stand by and
watch the, the ripple effect of this.
01:16:38.487 --> 01:16:41.877
And we thank you, God, and
just bless Jennifer and her
01:16:41.877 --> 01:16:44.997
family, and we just can't wait.
01:16:45.387 --> 01:16:45.487
Yes.
01:16:45.557 --> 01:16:46.047
We love you.
01:16:46.167 --> 01:16:47.607
In Jesus' name, amen.
01:16:47.747 --> 01:16:48.447
Amen.
01:16:48.447 --> 01:16:48.657
Amen.
01:16:48.657 --> 01:16:49.157
Amen.
01:16:49.167 --> 01:16:49.357
Yeah.
01:16:49.497 --> 01:16:50.597
Part two coming soon.
01:16:50.737 --> 01:16:50.877
That's right.
01:16:50.887 --> 01:16:51.127
Yep.
01:16:52.197 --> 01:16:52.927
I'm looking forward to it.
01:16:52.927 --> 01:16:54.127
Yeah, me too.
01:16:54.517 --> 01:16:54.577
All right.
01:16:54.577 --> 01:16:54.617
Me too.
01:16:55.337 --> 01:16:55.707
Thank you.
01:16:55.707 --> 01:16:56.467
We'll catch you next time.
01:16:56.987 --> 01:16:57.607
Bye.
01:16:59.177 --> 01:16:59.367
So good.