Ep 02 #540 Freedom from Indecision: Gratification or Edification? Free Indeed series

1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,419
We have to think about the
2
00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:03,939
the gratification
3
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,919
and the edification together. What is the most
4
00:00:07,919 --> 00:00:10,960
edifying thing over what is most gratifying? When
5
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,639
we were eating from the food pantry, we
6
00:00:12,639 --> 00:00:14,320
were poo. And I know as I say
7
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:15,814
that, there's some of y'all going, I I
8
00:00:15,814 --> 00:00:18,314
can't believe she did that. I eat dinner
9
00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:20,154
and I am a total noodle.
10
00:00:20,535 --> 00:00:23,195
And it broke my heart.
11
00:00:24,375 --> 00:00:26,214
All I could think is, for all those
12
00:00:26,214 --> 00:00:27,594
years that I had contracepted,
13
00:00:28,535 --> 00:00:29,914
how many of my babies
14
00:00:30,934 --> 00:00:31,434
have
15
00:00:31,869 --> 00:00:33,009
I possibly lost?
16
00:00:33,710 --> 00:00:35,869
We all have relationships to consider when we're
17
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,789
making decisions. So how do I make a
18
00:00:37,789 --> 00:00:40,049
godly decision when my preferences
19
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:43,710
offend someone else's? I'm Sonya. I've written eight
20
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,304
books. I've lived and taught from biblical principles
21
00:00:46,365 --> 00:00:47,344
for three decades
22
00:00:47,884 --> 00:00:50,685
internationally and one on one to over 300
23
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:53,185
souls and tens of thousands of podcast listeners
24
00:00:53,484 --> 00:00:54,864
and master class participants.
25
00:00:55,164 --> 00:00:56,945
Today, we're talking about navigating
26
00:00:57,484 --> 00:00:58,465
Christian freedom.
27
00:01:12,435 --> 00:01:15,394
Paul said that for freedom, Christ has set
28
00:01:15,394 --> 00:01:17,974
you free. Do not submit again
29
00:01:18,435 --> 00:01:19,814
to the yoke of slavery.
30
00:01:20,674 --> 00:01:23,634
Last week in the free indeed series, we
31
00:01:23,634 --> 00:01:26,259
looked at the purpose of Christian freedom.
32
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,799
We saw that the purpose was the glory
33
00:01:28,799 --> 00:01:30,180
of God, which
34
00:01:30,719 --> 00:01:31,219
ultimately
35
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,780
means not God's reputation
36
00:01:34,159 --> 00:01:35,379
and how he looks
37
00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:36,899
through us
38
00:01:37,674 --> 00:01:39,215
because he's too big for that.
39
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,755
But what it means there, the glory of
40
00:01:41,755 --> 00:01:44,474
God is that we reach our fullest potential
41
00:01:44,474 --> 00:01:47,375
according to the church father, Saint Irenaeus.
42
00:01:48,314 --> 00:01:49,935
So anything that detracts
43
00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:52,539
from my fullest potential
44
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,140
is something that
45
00:01:54,519 --> 00:01:57,560
Christ has freed me from, namely sin, and
46
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,099
we talked about that last week.
47
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,239
But today, I wanna talk about some of
48
00:02:01,239 --> 00:02:01,899
the principles
49
00:02:02,519 --> 00:02:05,399
of making good godly decisions, and we looked
50
00:02:05,399 --> 00:02:08,215
at one of them last week a bit,
51
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,414
and we saw that the ruling principle
52
00:02:12,594 --> 00:02:13,974
trumps the rules.
53
00:02:15,155 --> 00:02:17,254
And those rules are often arbitrary
54
00:02:18,995 --> 00:02:22,260
either and they're usually imposed. They're imposed either
55
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,780
by someone else,
56
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,860
maybe our family of origin,
57
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,159
and then they go on to be imposed
58
00:02:28,159 --> 00:02:28,900
by ourselves
59
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,340
through these
60
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:31,540
traditions
61
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,500
or
62
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,794
castles, I call them, in our minds about
63
00:02:35,794 --> 00:02:38,134
what makes a good Christian, a good Catholic,
64
00:02:38,275 --> 00:02:39,094
a good mother,
65
00:02:39,634 --> 00:02:41,334
a good daughter, a good priest,
66
00:02:42,034 --> 00:02:44,854
those kinds of things. Those are more arbitrary
67
00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:47,174
things that the church does not speak to
68
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:48,134
specifically.
69
00:02:48,659 --> 00:02:51,319
Now, the church does give us some guidelines.
70
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,180
The Bible does. We have the 10 commandments.
71
00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,240
We have the beatitudes.
72
00:02:55,540 --> 00:02:57,319
Those are hard and fast rules
73
00:02:58,020 --> 00:02:59,080
that help us
74
00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:02,275
stay on the narrow path that leads to
75
00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:04,594
that abundant life, that leads to that fullest
76
00:03:04,594 --> 00:03:05,094
potential
77
00:03:05,474 --> 00:03:08,375
for myself and for the people around me.
78
00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:11,655
Paul calls that the difference in the spirit
79
00:03:12,194 --> 00:03:13,094
of the law,
80
00:03:13,474 --> 00:03:14,935
the old testament law,
81
00:03:15,394 --> 00:03:15,894
and
82
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:17,780
the law,
83
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,400
the letter of the law. So the letter
84
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,719
of the law would be the very strict
85
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:25,520
rules. Specifically, in that context, it wouldn't just
86
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,520
be the 10 commandments. It would be the
87
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:28,020
Levitical
88
00:03:28,719 --> 00:03:30,580
ceremonial laws and rules,
89
00:03:31,094 --> 00:03:32,854
and then, you know, what all is in
90
00:03:32,854 --> 00:03:35,574
the Torah, all that stuff from Judaism that
91
00:03:35,574 --> 00:03:37,754
Christians don't practice anymore because
92
00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:38,875
we
93
00:03:39,574 --> 00:03:40,074
observe
94
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:41,275
the
95
00:03:42,854 --> 00:03:43,354
participation
96
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:46,650
in a new liturgy that is based on
97
00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:49,769
our saving event, which is the cross of
98
00:03:49,769 --> 00:03:50,269
Christ,
99
00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:53,469
his death, his passion, his death, his resurrection,
100
00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:54,590
and his ascension.
101
00:03:55,209 --> 00:03:58,829
And so we celebrate according to those traditions
102
00:03:58,969 --> 00:04:01,449
and rules. And many of those are not
103
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,349
hard and fast
104
00:04:03,264 --> 00:04:05,104
either, but that's neither here nor there. The
105
00:04:05,104 --> 00:04:07,365
point here is that Paul calls
106
00:04:08,544 --> 00:04:11,344
the Old Testament law specifically and the rules
107
00:04:11,344 --> 00:04:14,305
of that, namely circumcision. He talks about that
108
00:04:14,305 --> 00:04:15,125
a lot. Circumcision
109
00:04:15,425 --> 00:04:17,120
being one of
110
00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,560
the hard and fast rules of Judaism
111
00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:22,480
that no longer apply
112
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:26,160
to Christians because circumcision was a sign
113
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,160
of initiation
114
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:30,480
into the family of God
115
00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:31,935
in Judaism.
116
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:35,274
For us, the sign of initiation into the
117
00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:36,735
family of god is baptism.
118
00:04:37,354 --> 00:04:39,274
So, then, the letter of the Old Testament
119
00:04:39,274 --> 00:04:41,375
law no longer applies to us
120
00:04:41,834 --> 00:04:44,794
but the spirit of the law does because
121
00:04:44,794 --> 00:04:47,800
the spirit of that law is what initiates
122
00:04:48,019 --> 00:04:50,579
me into the family of God. And so
123
00:04:50,579 --> 00:04:51,240
for Christians,
124
00:04:51,779 --> 00:04:54,120
that initiation begins with baptism.
125
00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:57,060
So, you can see there the difference then
126
00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,819
in the letter of the law and the
127
00:04:58,819 --> 00:05:00,964
spirit of the law. And Paul talks quite
128
00:05:00,964 --> 00:05:02,664
a bit about that in his letters.
129
00:05:03,365 --> 00:05:04,884
Another way to look at it, and this
130
00:05:04,884 --> 00:05:05,784
is the way we
131
00:05:06,164 --> 00:05:06,664
we
132
00:05:07,204 --> 00:05:07,704
specified
133
00:05:08,564 --> 00:05:09,064
the
134
00:05:09,925 --> 00:05:10,425
principle
135
00:05:10,805 --> 00:05:11,704
here last
136
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,000
episode
137
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,399
was liberty or freedom
138
00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:16,919
versus legalism.
139
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,279
And legalism is that term for
140
00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:21,240
these
141
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:23,000
imposed rules
142
00:05:23,379 --> 00:05:25,955
that the church doesn't even impose, but that
143
00:05:25,955 --> 00:05:28,194
we impose on ourselves or we impose on
144
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:28,935
other people,
145
00:05:29,235 --> 00:05:32,194
namely things like veiling or the traditional Latin
146
00:05:32,194 --> 00:05:32,935
mass versus
147
00:05:33,555 --> 00:05:36,134
the Novus Ordo or traditionalism
148
00:05:36,915 --> 00:05:39,329
versus a charismatic approach.
149
00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:42,449
Those kinds of things are preferences
150
00:05:43,629 --> 00:05:46,990
that the church gives us leeway on, and
151
00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:49,889
so we have freedom in those to choose.
152
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:53,144
That's the difference in legalism and liberty. And
153
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,204
we talk specifically
154
00:05:54,584 --> 00:05:55,084
about
155
00:05:55,384 --> 00:05:55,884
Moses
156
00:05:56,584 --> 00:05:58,285
whacking that rock twice
157
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:02,125
and how if he had whacked the rock
158
00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:05,759
in faith rather than impatience and even
159
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:06,980
some anger,
160
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,779
he probably would not have gotten in trouble.
161
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,060
Either way, that's all in the previous episode.
162
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,460
The principle there is
163
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,555
that the spirit trumps the law,
164
00:06:19,514 --> 00:06:20,495
freedom trumps
165
00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:21,854
legalism,
166
00:06:22,394 --> 00:06:24,175
or liberty trumps legalism,
167
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,894
and the ruling principle
168
00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:28,414
trumps the rules.
169
00:06:29,274 --> 00:06:31,375
So, when we come up against
170
00:06:31,754 --> 00:06:34,300
a decision that pits the two of those
171
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,319
against each other, we should choose freedom
172
00:06:37,259 --> 00:06:39,660
if we're able to. And that leads us
173
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:43,040
to the second principle, which is edification
174
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:45,439
over gratification.
175
00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:47,904
Now Paul talks about this quite a bit
176
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:50,384
in both Galatians five, but also in first
177
00:06:50,384 --> 00:06:53,584
Corinthians eight. And I'm gonna read this entire
178
00:06:53,584 --> 00:06:55,504
chapter for you because first of all, it's
179
00:06:55,504 --> 00:06:57,345
good to hear the word of God. But
180
00:06:57,345 --> 00:06:59,524
secondly, he offers us an example
181
00:06:59,824 --> 00:07:02,769
that we don't see very often in this
182
00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:03,269
particular
183
00:07:03,649 --> 00:07:04,149
context.
184
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:07,430
He says, first of all, if you'll notice
185
00:07:07,889 --> 00:07:08,389
in
186
00:07:08,769 --> 00:07:11,029
your Bible, I hope, you have
187
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,189
a chapter heading here
188
00:07:13,649 --> 00:07:13,787
at the beginning of chapter eight in first
189
00:07:13,787 --> 00:07:14,264
Corinthians. And for me, mine says, be sensitive
190
00:07:17,545 --> 00:07:19,085
sensitive to conscience.
191
00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:22,925
He says, now concerning things offered to idols,
192
00:07:23,064 --> 00:07:24,845
we know that we have knowledge.
193
00:07:25,305 --> 00:07:27,884
Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies.
194
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:30,830
And if anyone thinks that he knows anything,
195
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:32,910
he knows nothing, yet as he ought to
196
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,009
know. But if anyone loves God,
197
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,629
this one is known by him. So he
198
00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:38,129
is
199
00:07:38,589 --> 00:07:40,930
he's showing a principle of love
200
00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:41,730
over
201
00:07:42,189 --> 00:07:42,689
knowledge.
202
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:45,904
Meaning, you might know all kinds of theology
203
00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:46,725
and philosophy,
204
00:07:47,105 --> 00:07:48,785
but if you don't have any love for
205
00:07:48,785 --> 00:07:49,444
your brother
206
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,704
or for yourself, an ordered love for both
207
00:07:52,704 --> 00:07:54,165
yourself and your neighbor,
208
00:07:54,704 --> 00:07:55,204
then
209
00:07:55,504 --> 00:07:57,365
you might be at fault
210
00:07:58,610 --> 00:07:59,110
in
211
00:07:59,889 --> 00:08:01,029
matters of conscience.
212
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,430
Okay? He goes on to say,
213
00:08:03,730 --> 00:08:06,290
Therefore, concerning the eating of things offered to
214
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:06,790
idols,
215
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,410
we know that an idol is nothing in
216
00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:11,329
the world, and that there is no other
217
00:08:11,329 --> 00:08:12,615
god but one.
218
00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:15,814
For even if there are so called gods,
219
00:08:15,814 --> 00:08:17,894
either in heaven or on earth, as there
220
00:08:17,894 --> 00:08:19,595
are many gods and many idols,
221
00:08:20,134 --> 00:08:21,974
yet for us there is one God, the
222
00:08:21,974 --> 00:08:23,914
Father, of whom all things
223
00:08:24,294 --> 00:08:25,539
and for all things
224
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,720
in him one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom
225
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,300
are all things and through whom we live.
226
00:08:31,439 --> 00:08:34,320
So he's speaking of the primacy of Christ.
227
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,279
And the primacy, there is only one God.
228
00:08:37,279 --> 00:08:39,044
We understand that as Christians. That's
229
00:08:39,764 --> 00:08:41,845
his point. However, there is not in everyone
230
00:08:41,845 --> 00:08:44,725
that knowledge. For some, with consciousness of the
231
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,725
idol, until now eat it as a thing
232
00:08:46,725 --> 00:08:49,524
offered to an idol, and their conscience, being
233
00:08:49,524 --> 00:08:50,825
weak, is defiled.
234
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,659
But food does not commend us to God,
235
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,740
for neither if we eat, are we the
236
00:08:55,740 --> 00:08:58,080
better are are we the better,
237
00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:00,379
nor if we do not eat, are we
238
00:09:00,379 --> 00:09:01,039
the worse.
239
00:09:01,419 --> 00:09:04,220
But beware, lest somehow the liberty of yours
240
00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:06,644
become a stumbling block to those who are
241
00:09:06,644 --> 00:09:07,144
weak.
242
00:09:07,684 --> 00:09:09,764
For if anyone sees you who have a
243
00:09:09,764 --> 00:09:10,904
knowledge eating
244
00:09:11,205 --> 00:09:12,585
in an idol's temple,
245
00:09:13,044 --> 00:09:14,884
will not the conscience of him who is
246
00:09:14,884 --> 00:09:17,445
weak be emboldened to eat those things offered
247
00:09:17,445 --> 00:09:18,105
to idols?
248
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,379
And because of your knowledge, shall the weak
249
00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:23,399
brother perish for whom Christ died?
250
00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:26,259
But when you thus sin against the brethren
251
00:09:26,259 --> 00:09:29,299
and wound their weak weak conscience, you sin
252
00:09:29,299 --> 00:09:30,199
against Christ.
253
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:33,475
Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I
254
00:09:33,475 --> 00:09:36,274
will never again eat meat, lest I make
255
00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:39,735
my brother stumble. Okay. So he is presenting
256
00:09:40,355 --> 00:09:40,855
this
257
00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:43,519
this principle of edification
258
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:44,800
over gratification.
259
00:09:45,179 --> 00:09:48,000
The gratification here would be the knowledge
260
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:51,040
that food sacrificed to idols
261
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:52,399
is harmless.
262
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:56,240
Nothing that goes in the body defiles, Jesus
263
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,695
said. It's what comes out of a man
264
00:09:58,695 --> 00:09:59,434
that defiles.
265
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:01,754
So, the food itself,
266
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:05,595
even if it were actually sacrificed to idols.
267
00:10:05,654 --> 00:10:07,274
Now, for us, this might be,
268
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,355
they actually had temples
269
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,250
where they sacrificed
270
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:13,889
these were pagan temples, where they sacrificed
271
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:14,850
meat
272
00:10:15,149 --> 00:10:16,289
to pagan idols,
273
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,610
and then they sold it in the marketplace.
274
00:10:19,629 --> 00:10:21,950
And, when they did that, Christians would go
275
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,970
to the marketplace and they would buy
276
00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:25,195
food.
277
00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:28,934
And sometimes it actually was labeled for them
278
00:10:28,934 --> 00:10:31,575
that it had been sacrificed to idols. And
279
00:10:31,575 --> 00:10:34,235
so, Paul is saying, you may know
280
00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:37,254
that there's nothing wrong with this food. It's
281
00:10:37,254 --> 00:10:40,509
just meat. There is only one God ultimately
282
00:10:40,730 --> 00:10:41,230
anyway.
283
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,590
But, if you eat this meat,
284
00:10:45,049 --> 00:10:47,549
and your brother, your Christian brother
285
00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:50,750
sees you doing that in freedom,
286
00:10:51,129 --> 00:10:53,629
because you have the freedom of this knowledge,
287
00:10:54,144 --> 00:10:56,384
if he sees you do that and then
288
00:10:56,384 --> 00:10:57,365
he does it
289
00:10:58,384 --> 00:11:00,804
contrary to his own conscience,
290
00:11:01,664 --> 00:11:04,164
because he doesn't know that, and he
291
00:11:04,544 --> 00:11:06,784
because he doesn't know it, he doesn't believe
292
00:11:06,784 --> 00:11:07,764
it. He believes
293
00:11:08,199 --> 00:11:10,459
that there's something actually wrong with that food.
294
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,480
If it has been sacrificed to idols, then
295
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,220
there's something
296
00:11:14,839 --> 00:11:17,399
definitely wrong with it. And if my Christian
297
00:11:17,399 --> 00:11:19,820
brother eats it, well, okay.
298
00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,065
I might eat it too. But, if I
299
00:11:22,065 --> 00:11:24,225
eat it too, I don't really believe that
300
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,304
because I don't know it. And so, I
301
00:11:26,304 --> 00:11:28,965
then have sinned against my own conscience.
302
00:11:29,745 --> 00:11:31,904
That's what he's saying here. Now, we don't
303
00:11:31,904 --> 00:11:32,404
have
304
00:11:32,865 --> 00:11:33,365
temples,
305
00:11:34,144 --> 00:11:34,644
usually,
306
00:11:35,024 --> 00:11:35,684
at Kroger
307
00:11:36,069 --> 00:11:36,889
or Publix
308
00:11:37,269 --> 00:11:38,089
or Aldi's,
309
00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,009
and we don't have,
310
00:11:40,709 --> 00:11:43,049
cases, food cases that are labeled
311
00:11:43,909 --> 00:11:46,709
sacrifice to idols or sacrifice to Satan. And
312
00:11:46,709 --> 00:11:48,309
most of us, if we saw that, we
313
00:11:48,309 --> 00:11:49,850
wouldn't buy that meat anyway,
314
00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:51,884
even knowing what we know.
315
00:11:52,605 --> 00:11:54,225
But if we did
316
00:11:54,764 --> 00:11:57,985
and a Christian brother saw it, or
317
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,625
say we invited a fellow Christian
318
00:12:01,165 --> 00:12:02,065
to our home
319
00:12:02,684 --> 00:12:04,764
and let him know that we had bought
320
00:12:04,764 --> 00:12:05,264
this
321
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:08,320
meat that had been sacrificed to Satan,
322
00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:09,920
but it's okay,
323
00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:12,240
because there's only one God.
324
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,160
If he then
325
00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:15,680
ate that meat,
326
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,559
and it offended his conscience,
327
00:12:18,924 --> 00:12:20,945
and he sinned before God,
328
00:12:21,485 --> 00:12:23,024
then we would be culpable
329
00:12:23,884 --> 00:12:25,725
to some degree. Now, this is what the
330
00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:27,804
church calls a scandal, and I'm getting a
331
00:12:27,804 --> 00:12:29,485
little bit ahead of myself, because we'll talk
332
00:12:29,485 --> 00:12:30,465
about this in-depth
333
00:12:30,845 --> 00:12:33,690
in the next episode. But, the principle here
334
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,629
is edification over gratification.
335
00:12:36,169 --> 00:12:38,269
And, what he's saying here is
336
00:12:38,649 --> 00:12:40,350
that I need to be aware
337
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:42,190
that
338
00:12:42,649 --> 00:12:43,789
my gratification
339
00:12:44,409 --> 00:12:45,629
is less important
340
00:12:46,009 --> 00:12:47,389
than what is good
341
00:12:48,014 --> 00:12:49,555
for my fellow Christian.
342
00:12:51,455 --> 00:12:53,535
Now, how does this play out practically? Because
343
00:12:53,535 --> 00:12:55,315
we don't usually see meat sacrificed
344
00:12:55,615 --> 00:12:57,154
to Satan or to idols.
345
00:12:57,774 --> 00:12:58,274
So,
346
00:12:59,455 --> 00:13:01,795
let's just look at it in a personal
347
00:13:02,169 --> 00:13:02,990
kind of way.
348
00:13:03,929 --> 00:13:05,230
The spirit here
349
00:13:07,769 --> 00:13:08,669
is sort of,
350
00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:10,110
juxtaposed,
351
00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:11,309
we'll say,
352
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:13,230
against the flesh.
353
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:17,070
So, what is good for my spirit
354
00:13:18,544 --> 00:13:19,684
is not going to
355
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:22,625
satisfy my flesh very often. And, the church
356
00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:25,745
calls these passions. So, when our passions, when
357
00:13:25,745 --> 00:13:28,644
our fleshly desires are out of control,
358
00:13:29,105 --> 00:13:31,024
when we don't have self control, when we're
359
00:13:31,024 --> 00:13:32,884
not prudent, when we're not temperate,
360
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:35,519
then we have sinned
361
00:13:37,579 --> 00:13:38,320
in lust,
362
00:13:38,779 --> 00:13:41,839
really. We save the lust word for sex,
363
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:43,899
but I'd like for you to think of
364
00:13:43,899 --> 00:13:46,779
lust as anything that you feel compelled to
365
00:13:46,779 --> 00:13:48,159
do in your flesh.
366
00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:52,475
Meaning, something that gratifies my flesh. If I'm
367
00:13:52,475 --> 00:13:53,774
habitually lazy,
368
00:13:54,315 --> 00:13:55,934
if I'm not motivated,
369
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:59,375
that could be a satisfaction of the flesh
370
00:13:59,434 --> 00:14:00,495
against the spirit
371
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,519
of temperance and prudence and self discipline, all
372
00:14:04,519 --> 00:14:06,679
of those things. So, the spirit versus the
373
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,720
flesh. And, in those decisions, we want to
374
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,220
make
375
00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,980
a decision for the spirit over the flesh.
376
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,379
And, that is part of what Jesus
377
00:14:16,735 --> 00:14:17,554
freed us
378
00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:21,154
from. We talked about that last week. Freedom
379
00:14:21,215 --> 00:14:24,495
from is freedom for, and the reason we
380
00:14:24,495 --> 00:14:27,315
want to cooperate with the Holy Spirit
381
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:28,835
in
382
00:14:29,939 --> 00:14:31,000
freeing ourselves
383
00:14:31,779 --> 00:14:33,240
practically and literally
384
00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:35,959
through our habits
385
00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:38,759
of those kinds of slaveries
386
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,559
is in order that we can
387
00:14:41,939 --> 00:14:44,199
be free to serve God
388
00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:46,024
with a good conscience
389
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,325
and with all of our time, all of
390
00:14:48,325 --> 00:14:50,024
our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
391
00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:53,945
So, when we have a decision that involves
392
00:14:54,565 --> 00:14:56,184
liberty versus legalism,
393
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,289
We want to choose freedom.
394
00:14:58,829 --> 00:15:00,289
But if my freedom
395
00:15:01,549 --> 00:15:04,509
is going to be more of a self
396
00:15:04,509 --> 00:15:05,009
gratification,
397
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,209
that it is a spiritual one,
398
00:15:08,589 --> 00:15:11,329
especially if it's going to offend a Christian
399
00:15:11,389 --> 00:15:12,450
brother or sister,
400
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,504
then I need to reevaluate
401
00:15:14,884 --> 00:15:16,904
that decision with the Holy Spirit.
402
00:15:17,285 --> 00:15:18,345
Now, you can see
403
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,665
just with these first two principles,
404
00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:21,625
why
405
00:15:22,085 --> 00:15:25,045
Christian freedom is a matter of maturity and
406
00:15:25,045 --> 00:15:27,330
it's a matter of love, because it takes
407
00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:28,149
into consideration
408
00:15:29,169 --> 00:15:31,250
both what is good for me and what
409
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,570
is good for my neighbor. Therefore, we have
410
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:35,970
loved both ourselves and our neighbor, as the
411
00:15:35,970 --> 00:15:39,495
primary two commandments say. And in doing that,
412
00:15:39,575 --> 00:15:41,174
we have loved God with all of our
413
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,475
heart, soul, mind, and strength.
414
00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:44,615
But it's not a matter of a hard
415
00:15:44,615 --> 00:15:46,714
and fast rule. What do I mean?
416
00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:50,394
Let's take an example that I had in
417
00:15:50,855 --> 00:15:53,654
the community this week, and actually I had
418
00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:56,169
this also in a one on one consultation.
419
00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:58,329
Someone asked specifically
420
00:15:58,789 --> 00:16:00,889
about their habit of doomscrolling.
421
00:16:02,069 --> 00:16:04,149
And I know this person to be a
422
00:16:04,149 --> 00:16:05,289
highly disciplined,
423
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,529
very conscientious
424
00:16:08,069 --> 00:16:08,569
person.
425
00:16:09,394 --> 00:16:09,894
And
426
00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:13,634
she was lamenting that she spends a couple
427
00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:15,495
of hours in the evenings
428
00:16:16,035 --> 00:16:18,054
scrolling on her phone before bed.
429
00:16:18,995 --> 00:16:21,095
And so I kinda probed a little bit.
430
00:16:21,235 --> 00:16:23,154
The way she presented it was that's all
431
00:16:23,154 --> 00:16:25,320
she does all day, And and I I
432
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,159
thought I knew better because I kinda know
433
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:29,320
her pretty well. So I started to probe
434
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,259
a little bit and ask for some detail.
435
00:16:31,639 --> 00:16:34,600
And what I discovered was at about 08:00,
436
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,000
when all of the chores of the day
437
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,164
are done, everyone has finished their stuff for
438
00:16:40,164 --> 00:16:41,764
the day, and they are starting to wind
439
00:16:41,764 --> 00:16:44,164
down, and they are relaxing and getting ready
440
00:16:44,164 --> 00:16:46,644
for bed, she likes to scroll her phone
441
00:16:46,644 --> 00:16:48,184
or watch TV.
442
00:16:49,044 --> 00:16:51,205
And she felt that two hours was just
443
00:16:51,205 --> 00:16:51,809
too long.
444
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:54,450
Well, I also know this person to actually
445
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:55,350
be enslaved
446
00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,129
to all these other arbitrary rules in her
447
00:17:00,129 --> 00:17:01,669
life and in her heart.
448
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:03,590
So, in that situation,
449
00:17:04,845 --> 00:17:05,744
I advised
450
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,525
that she just let herself enjoy the two
451
00:17:08,525 --> 00:17:09,505
hours of doomscrolling.
452
00:17:10,365 --> 00:17:12,464
It's not going to hurt anything. She's already
453
00:17:12,525 --> 00:17:14,444
completed all of her chores, all of her
454
00:17:14,444 --> 00:17:14,944
responsibilities.
455
00:17:15,804 --> 00:17:17,724
It's a matter of relaxation for her, and
456
00:17:17,724 --> 00:17:20,299
it was also tied to happy memories
457
00:17:21,159 --> 00:17:23,019
with a husband who had died.
458
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,299
So, you can see how what might
459
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,619
be important for one person
460
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,799
is not good for another in a different
461
00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:33,980
situation. So, this is super subjective,
462
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,545
and why it's a matter of Christian maturity,
463
00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:38,944
and why it's important that we evaluate
464
00:17:39,484 --> 00:17:40,304
the context
465
00:17:41,085 --> 00:17:43,565
and the specifics of each situation, so that
466
00:17:43,565 --> 00:17:44,625
we are not imposing
467
00:17:46,444 --> 00:17:46,944
onerous
468
00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:48,970
rules and expectations
469
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,850
that God never imposes himself.
470
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,250
So if I had said to her,
471
00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:57,049
you need to put your phone away
472
00:17:57,350 --> 00:17:58,250
at 08:00
473
00:17:58,470 --> 00:18:00,490
and read something holy,
474
00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:03,904
I mean, that that might be good, but
475
00:18:04,045 --> 00:18:05,884
it probably would not be good for her
476
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:09,005
because she's already enslaved to these ideas of
477
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,065
what makes herself
478
00:18:10,605 --> 00:18:12,445
a good mother, a good Christian, a good
479
00:18:12,445 --> 00:18:12,945
Catholic.
480
00:18:13,609 --> 00:18:15,390
So she needed more freedom,
481
00:18:15,769 --> 00:18:17,150
not more discipline.
482
00:18:17,609 --> 00:18:19,630
And because she needs more freedom,
483
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:23,070
I advised her to just enjoy the doomscrolling.
484
00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:26,410
So it's two hours, and I know as
485
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:27,930
I say that, there's some of y'all going,
486
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:29,444
I can't believe she did that.
487
00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:31,944
But I myself practice this.
488
00:18:32,325 --> 00:18:34,664
When I have a full day of consults
489
00:18:34,804 --> 00:18:35,704
and I'm finished,
490
00:18:36,244 --> 00:18:39,284
I eat dinner. My husband, bless him, has
491
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:42,244
usually fixed dinner on those days because I
492
00:18:42,244 --> 00:18:43,384
I don't have the time.
493
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:46,299
I eat dinner, and I am a total
494
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:49,019
noodle. I don't I'm not thinking very well
495
00:18:49,019 --> 00:18:50,079
because I'm tired.
496
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:52,480
I'm just tired.
497
00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:53,679
And so,
498
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,799
I usually lie down somewhere. I'm either reading,
499
00:18:56,859 --> 00:18:59,279
I'm scrolling my phone, I'm watching TV.
500
00:18:59,595 --> 00:19:01,214
So it's a lot of time
501
00:19:01,595 --> 00:19:03,115
that most people would look at me and
502
00:19:03,115 --> 00:19:04,335
say, what a waste.
503
00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:06,474
But if you knew how many hours I
504
00:19:06,474 --> 00:19:08,174
worked six days a week,
505
00:19:08,474 --> 00:19:10,394
if you knew the amount of work that
506
00:19:10,394 --> 00:19:11,294
I get done,
507
00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:14,315
it probably would not be an issue for
508
00:19:14,315 --> 00:19:14,815
you.
509
00:19:15,659 --> 00:19:17,359
But, for someone who is
510
00:19:17,819 --> 00:19:18,319
naturally,
511
00:19:19,099 --> 00:19:19,599
temperamentally,
512
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:21,440
and by personality,
513
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:23,599
less conscientious,
514
00:19:24,299 --> 00:19:26,000
they might need a little more discipline.
515
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:27,740
So, you can see how this is a
516
00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:30,075
subjective area, and it's a matter of Christian
517
00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:33,274
maturity rather than a legalistic rule, which is
518
00:19:33,274 --> 00:19:34,174
something like,
519
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:37,034
you get fifteen minutes on your phone every
520
00:19:37,034 --> 00:19:38,634
day no matter who you are and no
521
00:19:38,634 --> 00:19:40,474
matter what is going on in your life.
522
00:19:40,474 --> 00:19:41,934
Because anything else
523
00:19:42,234 --> 00:19:44,460
is laziness and it is a waste of
524
00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:46,460
time and God wants you to redeem every
525
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:46,960
second.
526
00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:49,039
Now, the book of Shirok
527
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,679
actually tells us that God provides
528
00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:53,440
things for us
529
00:19:54,299 --> 00:19:56,220
on Earth and in the world and in
530
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:56,960
our lives
531
00:19:57,259 --> 00:19:58,799
to give us some relief.
532
00:19:59,244 --> 00:20:01,164
That's what the Sabbath is for. We talked
533
00:20:01,164 --> 00:20:03,085
about that last week. That's one of those
534
00:20:03,085 --> 00:20:03,585
days
535
00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:06,605
that most people consider a luxury that is
536
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:07,744
actually a discipline.
537
00:20:08,284 --> 00:20:10,684
It's a rest that we need, and God
538
00:20:10,684 --> 00:20:13,569
knows we need it. So, that's a subjective
539
00:20:13,569 --> 00:20:14,950
area, but that's an actual
540
00:20:15,410 --> 00:20:17,809
literal example of something that I bumped up
541
00:20:17,809 --> 00:20:19,269
against just this week.
542
00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:22,130
What about meat on Fridays? Now, in the
543
00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:25,250
community, I asked the question, what is something
544
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,589
that you practice in your Catholic faith
545
00:20:28,205 --> 00:20:29,105
that offends
546
00:20:29,644 --> 00:20:30,705
other Catholics?
547
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,884
Now, this is going to be where the
548
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,884
rubber meets the road, because this is where
549
00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:37,345
we have real difficulty
550
00:20:37,724 --> 00:20:38,865
in making decisions
551
00:20:39,244 --> 00:20:41,565
that are healthy for ourselves and the people
552
00:20:41,565 --> 00:20:45,170
around us, while also considering other people's consciences.
553
00:20:46,349 --> 00:20:48,849
What about meat on Fridays? Now, the church
554
00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:50,529
advises
555
00:20:51,470 --> 00:20:53,890
because it's an ancient Christian practice
556
00:20:54,589 --> 00:20:56,450
that we give up meat on Fridays
557
00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:57,890
in observance
558
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,025
of Jesus' passion,
559
00:21:01,605 --> 00:21:04,505
but it doesn't command that we have to.
560
00:21:05,605 --> 00:21:08,005
And it also advises that if we don't
561
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,484
give up meat, that perhaps we give up
562
00:21:10,484 --> 00:21:12,184
something else as
563
00:21:12,829 --> 00:21:15,569
a gift of alms, as a self sacrifice,
564
00:21:16,589 --> 00:21:19,009
but it's completely up to us.
565
00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:21,569
The church gives us the choice
566
00:21:22,029 --> 00:21:24,349
in the same way that the church allows
567
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:26,829
us to receive the Eucharist either on the
568
00:21:26,829 --> 00:21:27,329
tongue
569
00:21:27,904 --> 00:21:30,544
or in the hand. And we're instructed how
570
00:21:30,544 --> 00:21:32,325
to do both of those things
571
00:21:33,024 --> 00:21:35,284
in case we choose one or the other.
572
00:21:35,505 --> 00:21:38,404
Another example someone mentioned over in the community
573
00:21:38,544 --> 00:21:39,044
was
574
00:21:39,744 --> 00:21:40,565
a female
575
00:21:40,944 --> 00:21:41,924
who lectures
576
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,160
and is an extraordinary minister
577
00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:47,640
who offends
578
00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:49,320
other Catholics
579
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:50,920
because she's female.
580
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:54,259
Now, that's another area. Now, I have my
581
00:21:54,259 --> 00:21:55,480
own preference there.
582
00:21:56,019 --> 00:21:58,025
I have my own opinion,
583
00:21:58,644 --> 00:22:01,065
but I would never impose that opinion
584
00:22:01,365 --> 00:22:03,865
on anyone else because the church doesn't.
585
00:22:04,644 --> 00:22:06,424
The church allows the pastor,
586
00:22:06,884 --> 00:22:08,025
under his bishop,
587
00:22:08,644 --> 00:22:10,985
to make that decision for his own parish.
588
00:22:11,569 --> 00:22:14,369
And so, we need to be very careful
589
00:22:14,369 --> 00:22:16,230
in stepping in with these arbitrary
590
00:22:16,609 --> 00:22:18,069
rules and judgments
591
00:22:18,450 --> 00:22:18,950
against
592
00:22:19,329 --> 00:22:21,429
fellow Christians, fellow Catholics,
593
00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:24,609
who are making different choices that the church
594
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:25,109
allows.
595
00:22:26,134 --> 00:22:27,914
Now, that's a whole different thing
596
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:29,514
than
597
00:22:30,054 --> 00:22:31,434
our Catholic practices
598
00:22:31,734 --> 00:22:32,554
that offend,
599
00:22:33,014 --> 00:22:33,514
say,
600
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:34,394
non
601
00:22:34,855 --> 00:22:35,355
Christians.
602
00:22:36,214 --> 00:22:37,575
We're going to do a whole lot of
603
00:22:37,575 --> 00:22:39,914
things that offend people that are not Christian.
604
00:22:39,974 --> 00:22:40,794
They don't
605
00:22:47,279 --> 00:22:47,779
capitulate
606
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:48,740
to them
607
00:22:49,279 --> 00:22:51,779
would be to deny our own faith
608
00:22:52,799 --> 00:22:54,100
in many, many cases.
609
00:22:54,454 --> 00:22:56,295
For instance, here's one that came up in
610
00:22:56,295 --> 00:22:56,875
the community.
611
00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:57,835
Contraception
612
00:22:59,255 --> 00:23:01,035
and natural family planning.
613
00:23:01,815 --> 00:23:03,414
Now, I have experienced this in my own
614
00:23:03,414 --> 00:23:05,994
life. When I came into the Catholic church,
615
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:07,940
I was
616
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:08,900
scandalized
617
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,140
by learning
618
00:23:11,679 --> 00:23:13,220
the science behind
619
00:23:13,839 --> 00:23:14,579
the pill.
620
00:23:16,559 --> 00:23:17,460
I learned
621
00:23:18,319 --> 00:23:20,179
because of my excellent catechesis
622
00:23:20,974 --> 00:23:21,474
under
623
00:23:21,775 --> 00:23:22,595
my mentor,
624
00:23:22,894 --> 00:23:23,634
my godfather,
625
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:25,795
I learned
626
00:23:26,414 --> 00:23:28,914
that the pill is actually abortifacient.
627
00:23:30,174 --> 00:23:32,115
And it broke my
628
00:23:32,414 --> 00:23:32,914
heart.
629
00:23:34,059 --> 00:23:35,820
All I could think is for all those
630
00:23:35,820 --> 00:23:37,279
years that I had contracepted,
631
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:39,680
how many of my babies
632
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:41,119
have
633
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:42,720
I possibly lost?
634
00:23:43,099 --> 00:23:44,640
It broke my heart. I
635
00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:46,320
was so convicted.
636
00:23:47,964 --> 00:23:50,704
But at the same time, my husband is
637
00:23:51,404 --> 00:23:54,224
almost a decade older than I am, and
638
00:23:55,085 --> 00:23:57,164
he had just changed jobs. And so he
639
00:23:57,164 --> 00:23:57,904
was terrified
640
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:01,259
that I might get pregnant and then it
641
00:24:01,259 --> 00:24:02,000
was just
642
00:24:03,420 --> 00:24:04,720
and he wasn't Catholic.
643
00:24:05,019 --> 00:24:07,200
So I was coming into the church.
644
00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:08,720
He wasn't Catholic.
645
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,279
I learned that contraception,
646
00:24:12,380 --> 00:24:14,454
the pill specifically, is abortifacient,
647
00:24:15,795 --> 00:24:17,815
and I wanted to quit immediately.
648
00:24:19,634 --> 00:24:22,275
But I knew that if I did that,
649
00:24:22,275 --> 00:24:23,974
it was going to scandalize
650
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,214
my Christian husband
651
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,220
to the point that he probably
652
00:24:29,839 --> 00:24:33,200
might never enter the Catholic church and receive
653
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,839
the Eucharist and the other sacraments and all
654
00:24:35,839 --> 00:24:37,220
those things that I knew
655
00:24:37,599 --> 00:24:39,059
were best for him.
656
00:24:39,934 --> 00:24:41,154
So, here is
657
00:24:42,015 --> 00:24:44,734
a perfect example of what the heck do
658
00:24:44,734 --> 00:24:45,474
we do.
659
00:24:45,855 --> 00:24:47,075
Here's what I did.
660
00:24:47,535 --> 00:24:49,375
I went to my priest and I laid
661
00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:51,855
the whole thing out. I said, I just
662
00:24:51,855 --> 00:24:52,355
discovered
663
00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:54,599
that the pill is contraception,
664
00:24:54,900 --> 00:24:57,480
or the contraception of the pill is abortifacient.
665
00:24:58,420 --> 00:25:00,259
I need to get off of it. I
666
00:25:00,259 --> 00:25:01,859
need to get off of it right away.
667
00:25:01,859 --> 00:25:04,099
But if I do that, it's going to
668
00:25:04,099 --> 00:25:06,674
terrify my husband. He's going to be very
669
00:25:06,674 --> 00:25:08,595
angry. It's going to cause a rift in
670
00:25:08,595 --> 00:25:09,335
our marriage,
671
00:25:10,115 --> 00:25:12,375
and I really believe
672
00:25:12,755 --> 00:25:15,974
that it might prevent him from ever considering
673
00:25:16,194 --> 00:25:18,375
coming into the Catholic Church ever.
674
00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:21,329
And my priest, to his credit, said to
675
00:25:21,329 --> 00:25:21,829
me,
676
00:25:23,009 --> 00:25:23,509
Pray
677
00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:24,789
about this,
678
00:25:25,490 --> 00:25:28,470
and don't stop using the pill yet.
679
00:25:30,929 --> 00:25:32,994
And it was tough. But
680
00:25:33,375 --> 00:25:35,715
luckily, first of all, I had a practice
681
00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:37,875
of daily scripture
682
00:25:38,654 --> 00:25:39,795
and daily prayer,
683
00:25:40,255 --> 00:25:43,695
and therefore I trusted God to handle the
684
00:25:43,695 --> 00:25:46,320
situation for me. So I went to him,
685
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,579
and I said, you know the situation.
686
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,039
You know what I've just learned. You know
687
00:25:51,039 --> 00:25:53,440
his heart. You know my heart. You know
688
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,299
I would do this in a second
689
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,105
if I didn't also have to consider him
690
00:25:59,485 --> 00:26:00,545
and his salvation
691
00:26:01,325 --> 00:26:02,705
and his eventual
692
00:26:03,085 --> 00:26:03,585
hopeful
693
00:26:04,365 --> 00:26:07,184
entry into full communion with the Catholic church.
694
00:26:07,965 --> 00:26:09,505
So I am asking you
695
00:26:10,365 --> 00:26:11,744
to intervene here
696
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:13,720
in whatever way
697
00:26:14,179 --> 00:26:15,720
you think is necessary.
698
00:26:17,059 --> 00:26:18,819
And at the time, I was thinking maybe
699
00:26:18,819 --> 00:26:20,579
he would just speak to him through me,
700
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:22,419
like maybe I would and I did. I
701
00:26:22,419 --> 00:26:22,919
communicated
702
00:26:23,539 --> 00:26:25,639
to him that the pill was abortifacient.
703
00:26:25,940 --> 00:26:27,720
And, I mean, he was staunchly,
704
00:26:28,684 --> 00:26:30,865
You're not quitting that pill.
705
00:26:31,244 --> 00:26:31,744
So,
706
00:26:32,125 --> 00:26:33,505
I did what the priest
707
00:26:33,805 --> 00:26:34,305
advised.
708
00:26:34,765 --> 00:26:36,704
I went to God. I received
709
00:26:37,005 --> 00:26:37,505
encouragement
710
00:26:38,045 --> 00:26:40,605
in that and an assurance that He would
711
00:26:40,605 --> 00:26:41,424
handle it.
712
00:26:41,884 --> 00:26:43,710
And it was only about a month
713
00:26:45,149 --> 00:26:45,649
when
714
00:26:46,349 --> 00:26:47,649
I lost
715
00:26:48,829 --> 00:26:50,130
my paying job.
716
00:26:50,509 --> 00:26:51,649
I was laid off.
717
00:26:52,109 --> 00:26:54,450
And my husband who had been working
718
00:26:54,829 --> 00:26:56,210
ten hours overtime
719
00:26:56,575 --> 00:26:57,315
at his
720
00:26:57,695 --> 00:26:58,914
job, they not only
721
00:26:59,295 --> 00:27:01,455
cut back all of the overtime at the
722
00:27:01,455 --> 00:27:04,015
the company, but they also cut his hours
723
00:27:04,015 --> 00:27:04,674
in half.
724
00:27:05,215 --> 00:27:07,134
So we went from two and a half
725
00:27:07,134 --> 00:27:09,315
incomes to a half of an income,
726
00:27:10,090 --> 00:27:11,869
And, we couldn't afford the pill.
727
00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:14,570
It was $40 a month, and we couldn't
728
00:27:14,570 --> 00:27:15,390
afford it.
729
00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:18,650
And, I knew immediately, although, I mean, we
730
00:27:18,650 --> 00:27:20,490
were eating from the food pantry, we were
731
00:27:20,490 --> 00:27:21,710
poe. It was
732
00:27:22,890 --> 00:27:23,390
difficult
733
00:27:23,930 --> 00:27:25,875
to go from two and a half incomes
734
00:27:25,875 --> 00:27:27,715
to a half of one, but I knew
735
00:27:27,715 --> 00:27:30,434
that was an answer from God about that
736
00:27:30,434 --> 00:27:30,934
prayer.
737
00:27:31,315 --> 00:27:33,335
And so I just hunkered down,
738
00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:36,455
and I made it work with the budget.
739
00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:39,220
But we did not buy the pill anymore
740
00:27:39,220 --> 00:27:41,539
because we couldn't afford it. And my husband
741
00:27:41,539 --> 00:27:43,539
was the first to say, that needs to
742
00:27:43,539 --> 00:27:44,039
go.
743
00:27:44,339 --> 00:27:46,980
Because I had told him about natural family
744
00:27:46,980 --> 00:27:49,220
planning, and I had shown him the science
745
00:27:49,220 --> 00:27:50,839
that it's actually more
746
00:27:51,615 --> 00:27:54,414
effective than the pill anyway. And, it's not
747
00:27:54,414 --> 00:27:54,914
carcinogenic.
748
00:27:55,855 --> 00:27:56,355
It's
749
00:27:56,654 --> 00:27:59,055
natural to your body. All the perks, you
750
00:27:59,055 --> 00:28:01,535
know, of natural family planning. But, you know,
751
00:28:01,535 --> 00:28:02,835
we've been so conditioned
752
00:28:03,454 --> 00:28:07,210
in western culture, but also just in our
753
00:28:07,210 --> 00:28:07,710
families,
754
00:28:08,809 --> 00:28:10,190
in in life in general,
755
00:28:10,970 --> 00:28:11,470
that
756
00:28:12,250 --> 00:28:14,110
children are not a blessing.
757
00:28:15,049 --> 00:28:18,490
And so we postpone having children children way
758
00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:19,230
too long,
759
00:28:19,914 --> 00:28:20,414
perhaps,
760
00:28:20,795 --> 00:28:21,775
for some people.
761
00:28:23,195 --> 00:28:25,355
But also, the whole natural family planning thing
762
00:28:25,355 --> 00:28:28,234
is just it can be scandalous to family
763
00:28:28,234 --> 00:28:31,355
members who don't understand it, who haven't been
764
00:28:31,355 --> 00:28:33,035
brought up that way, who have not learned
765
00:28:33,035 --> 00:28:35,399
anything about it, who hear that you're doing
766
00:28:35,399 --> 00:28:36,380
it and they
767
00:28:36,759 --> 00:28:39,419
they believe automatically you're gonna have 14 kids
768
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,460
and maybe you want 14 kids. That's great.
769
00:28:42,599 --> 00:28:44,839
But if you don't, that's what natural family
770
00:28:44,839 --> 00:28:45,740
planning is for.
771
00:28:46,119 --> 00:28:48,059
I mean, there's lots of of
772
00:28:49,534 --> 00:28:50,034
issues
773
00:28:50,414 --> 00:28:50,914
that
774
00:28:51,375 --> 00:28:53,214
have to be brought to bear when we're
775
00:28:53,214 --> 00:28:54,515
making such decisions.
776
00:28:55,134 --> 00:28:57,154
But my point is, here,
777
00:28:58,015 --> 00:28:59,075
I was concerned
778
00:28:59,855 --> 00:29:02,595
with my husband, my marriage, first of all,
779
00:29:02,815 --> 00:29:03,954
but also his
780
00:29:05,319 --> 00:29:06,940
his receiving eventually
781
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,039
the sacraments and coming into full communion with
782
00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:11,960
the church. I wanted that to happen, and
783
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,259
I knew that if I
784
00:29:14,359 --> 00:29:15,819
offended his conscience
785
00:29:16,904 --> 00:29:17,965
in that way
786
00:29:18,904 --> 00:29:21,404
of just abruptly stopping the pill
787
00:29:21,945 --> 00:29:25,945
after knowing and hearing his expressions of both
788
00:29:25,945 --> 00:29:29,785
fear and anxiety and and even anger over
789
00:29:29,785 --> 00:29:30,285
it,
790
00:29:30,929 --> 00:29:34,049
that I might put a stumbling block, which
791
00:29:34,049 --> 00:29:36,210
is what Paul calls it, in front of
792
00:29:36,210 --> 00:29:38,690
my husband and his faith. And so, I
793
00:29:38,690 --> 00:29:40,769
went to God with the situation. I I
794
00:29:40,769 --> 00:29:42,289
trusted him to take care of it, and
795
00:29:42,289 --> 00:29:44,154
he did in a way that it was
796
00:29:44,154 --> 00:29:46,954
difficult. But it was an answer to prayer,
797
00:29:46,954 --> 00:29:49,115
and we haven't been back on it. I
798
00:29:49,115 --> 00:29:49,934
mean, that was
799
00:29:50,474 --> 00:29:53,035
decades ago, and we haven't been back on
800
00:29:53,035 --> 00:29:54,174
the pill since then.
801
00:29:54,555 --> 00:29:56,575
So my point here is
802
00:29:57,509 --> 00:29:59,210
we have to think about
803
00:29:59,670 --> 00:30:00,170
the
804
00:30:00,789 --> 00:30:01,289
gratification
805
00:30:02,549 --> 00:30:03,529
and the edification
806
00:30:03,830 --> 00:30:07,029
together. What is the most edifying thing over
807
00:30:07,029 --> 00:30:09,190
what is most gratifying? For me, what would
808
00:30:09,190 --> 00:30:10,789
have been most gratifying is that I get
809
00:30:10,789 --> 00:30:12,710
off the pill immediately and never take another
810
00:30:12,710 --> 00:30:14,944
one. But what was more edifying
811
00:30:15,484 --> 00:30:17,825
to both myself and my husband
812
00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:20,765
was that I wait on God to bring
813
00:30:20,765 --> 00:30:21,664
about the circumstances
814
00:30:22,204 --> 00:30:24,545
that would allow us to do that together.
815
00:30:24,924 --> 00:30:27,690
It edified me because it strengthened my faith.
816
00:30:27,690 --> 00:30:29,690
It deepened my faith. I couldn't believe it
817
00:30:29,690 --> 00:30:32,089
when God did what He did. And even
818
00:30:32,089 --> 00:30:33,690
though it was difficult, I knew it was
819
00:30:33,690 --> 00:30:36,190
an answer to prayer, and that convinced me
820
00:30:36,569 --> 00:30:38,089
that He would take care of us even
821
00:30:38,089 --> 00:30:39,929
though we were poe and we only had
822
00:30:39,929 --> 00:30:41,710
half an income. And He did.
823
00:30:43,034 --> 00:30:45,914
And thankfully, he did it after we had
824
00:30:45,914 --> 00:30:48,734
practiced natural family planning for some time
825
00:30:49,434 --> 00:30:51,595
so that we were comfortable enough to never
826
00:30:51,595 --> 00:30:53,855
go back to any sort of contraception.
827
00:30:54,474 --> 00:30:56,339
And by that time, well, that's a whole
828
00:30:56,339 --> 00:30:57,079
other story.
829
00:30:57,460 --> 00:30:58,759
But you may
830
00:30:59,299 --> 00:31:00,200
have chosen
831
00:31:01,619 --> 00:31:04,659
to live according to the teachings of the
832
00:31:04,659 --> 00:31:07,700
Catholic church, as I wanted to do in
833
00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:08,519
this area.
834
00:31:10,484 --> 00:31:13,464
And you're going to offend people by that.
835
00:31:14,325 --> 00:31:17,065
But this is one area in which Paul
836
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:17,944
tells us
837
00:31:18,244 --> 00:31:20,105
we are supposed to judge
838
00:31:20,565 --> 00:31:22,184
other Christians' fruit.
839
00:31:23,279 --> 00:31:25,059
So when you're looking at
840
00:31:27,039 --> 00:31:27,539
situations
841
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:29,619
that call for
842
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:31,299
Christian freedom
843
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:33,619
in our decision making,
844
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,740
we want to make sure that we're choosing
845
00:31:37,214 --> 00:31:37,954
freedom over
846
00:31:39,054 --> 00:31:39,554
legalism
847
00:31:40,894 --> 00:31:41,794
and edification
848
00:31:42,174 --> 00:31:42,674
over
849
00:31:42,974 --> 00:31:43,474
gratification.
850
00:31:44,654 --> 00:31:46,434
But under that, edification
851
00:31:46,894 --> 00:31:49,394
versus gratification, we also want to consider
852
00:31:49,859 --> 00:31:51,799
whether or not this Christian
853
00:31:52,420 --> 00:31:53,880
or this Catholic
854
00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:57,160
is actually living according to
855
00:31:58,099 --> 00:32:00,839
the premise that Jesus is their Lord.
856
00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:02,839
If they claim to be a Christian,
857
00:32:03,414 --> 00:32:06,634
but they're not living under Jesus' authority,
858
00:32:07,974 --> 00:32:10,234
you might take a different tack
859
00:32:10,535 --> 00:32:13,335
than you would for instance, if my husband
860
00:32:13,335 --> 00:32:14,394
were non Christian,
861
00:32:14,775 --> 00:32:15,275
like,
862
00:32:15,589 --> 00:32:17,910
not even necessarily atheist, but he just wasn't
863
00:32:17,910 --> 00:32:19,990
practicing anything, and I was the only one
864
00:32:19,990 --> 00:32:21,990
in the family, I might have taken a
865
00:32:21,990 --> 00:32:22,490
different
866
00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:24,250
a different
867
00:32:24,710 --> 00:32:25,210
route.
868
00:32:26,309 --> 00:32:28,950
I don't know. But he he had his
869
00:32:28,950 --> 00:32:31,755
own faith, and it was a real faith,
870
00:32:31,755 --> 00:32:33,615
and he really practiced it.
871
00:32:34,075 --> 00:32:36,714
And I could see that if I stepped
872
00:32:36,714 --> 00:32:39,035
out and did this on my own, that
873
00:32:39,035 --> 00:32:41,055
it was going to offend his faith
874
00:32:41,434 --> 00:32:42,734
in a way that was harmful.
875
00:32:43,115 --> 00:32:45,035
And so I had to really weigh that
876
00:32:45,035 --> 00:32:45,535
decision.
877
00:32:46,039 --> 00:32:48,359
And this is the thing, God wants us
878
00:32:48,359 --> 00:32:48,859
to.
879
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,099
He wants us to
880
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:52,220
engage
881
00:32:52,599 --> 00:32:53,980
our Christian freedom,
882
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,220
our wills,
883
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,059
and our intellect,
884
00:32:59,159 --> 00:33:02,044
and our love in making decisions. He
885
00:33:03,304 --> 00:33:04,284
loves humans.
886
00:33:04,904 --> 00:33:06,845
He wants us to do that
887
00:33:07,224 --> 00:33:07,724
because
888
00:33:08,025 --> 00:33:10,204
in part it helps us grow into
889
00:33:10,585 --> 00:33:13,625
a deeper love, a more authentic love for
890
00:33:13,625 --> 00:33:15,644
both ourselves and others,
891
00:33:16,430 --> 00:33:17,410
and for Him.
892
00:33:18,109 --> 00:33:20,849
But it also grows us in Christian maturity.
893
00:33:21,150 --> 00:33:24,210
And so, we're likely to make some mistakes
894
00:33:24,349 --> 00:33:25,329
or some errors
895
00:33:25,950 --> 00:33:26,450
in
896
00:33:26,829 --> 00:33:29,170
trying to wrestle with these kinds of decisions.
897
00:33:30,345 --> 00:33:31,085
But, understand
898
00:33:31,464 --> 00:33:32,365
that grace
899
00:33:33,464 --> 00:33:34,845
gives you that freedom
900
00:33:35,625 --> 00:33:36,525
to make errors
901
00:33:37,384 --> 00:33:38,525
and to make mistakes.
902
00:33:41,224 --> 00:33:43,644
It's part of what allows us
903
00:33:44,609 --> 00:33:46,529
to step out and take a bit of
904
00:33:46,529 --> 00:33:48,930
a risk when we're making these kinds of
905
00:33:48,930 --> 00:33:49,430
decisions
906
00:33:49,890 --> 00:33:51,670
without the fear of going to hell.
907
00:33:53,730 --> 00:33:55,109
So, judge that as
908
00:33:55,490 --> 00:33:56,654
you will, but
909
00:33:57,855 --> 00:33:58,595
that was
910
00:33:59,055 --> 00:34:01,875
an example of a decision that I made
911
00:34:02,494 --> 00:34:03,154
that was
912
00:34:03,455 --> 00:34:05,715
strictly against the rule
913
00:34:06,095 --> 00:34:07,154
of no contraception,
914
00:34:07,535 --> 00:34:08,515
at least temporarily,
915
00:34:09,539 --> 00:34:10,920
that led to
916
00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:13,079
the best possible outcome.
917
00:34:14,420 --> 00:34:17,000
And it was because I was weighing both
918
00:34:17,300 --> 00:34:18,119
my gratification
919
00:34:18,579 --> 00:34:20,360
and my husband's edification.
920
00:34:21,539 --> 00:34:24,119
Now, when you're practicing something like NFP
921
00:34:24,914 --> 00:34:25,414
or
922
00:34:25,875 --> 00:34:26,375
not
923
00:34:26,994 --> 00:34:30,215
eating meat on Fridays, whatever your practices are,
924
00:34:30,355 --> 00:34:32,195
if you've chosen to do that out of
925
00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:35,094
love for God, for your neighbor, whatever,
926
00:34:36,035 --> 00:34:38,135
you're going to offend some other people.
927
00:34:38,789 --> 00:34:40,710
You're just going to. They're not going to
928
00:34:40,710 --> 00:34:42,570
understand. If they're not Christian,
929
00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:46,070
then they're not living according to the same
930
00:34:46,070 --> 00:34:49,269
worldview as you. They don't understand, and so
931
00:34:49,269 --> 00:34:51,130
offending them is necessary
932
00:34:51,934 --> 00:34:53,635
for you to practice your faith.
933
00:34:54,494 --> 00:34:55,234
If you're
934
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,315
if you're offending
935
00:34:58,574 --> 00:34:59,795
a non Catholic,
936
00:35:00,815 --> 00:35:03,934
a non Catholic is not living according to
937
00:35:03,934 --> 00:35:04,594
the same
938
00:35:05,639 --> 00:35:09,079
principles and rules always, especially in these areas
939
00:35:09,079 --> 00:35:09,819
of contraception,
940
00:35:10,839 --> 00:35:12,299
of say alcohol
941
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,219
use or non use.
942
00:35:15,319 --> 00:35:16,940
That was actually a big issue
943
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:18,219
where
944
00:35:19,464 --> 00:35:21,385
as growing up as a Baptist, that was
945
00:35:21,385 --> 00:35:24,425
a no no. You don't drink alcohol at
946
00:35:24,425 --> 00:35:27,704
all, ever, for any reason. Now that has
947
00:35:27,704 --> 00:35:30,585
relaxed quite a bit over the last several
948
00:35:30,585 --> 00:35:31,724
decades since I've
949
00:35:32,184 --> 00:35:34,619
come into the Catholic church and been Catholic.
950
00:35:35,099 --> 00:35:36,539
And so now it's kind of a free
951
00:35:36,539 --> 00:35:39,180
for all. But then it wasn't. And that
952
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:39,340
was
953
00:35:40,220 --> 00:35:43,579
that for Catholics, I remember actually before I
954
00:35:43,579 --> 00:35:44,079
even
955
00:35:44,380 --> 00:35:47,039
had children, I was working at a company
956
00:35:47,579 --> 00:35:48,720
where we had
957
00:35:49,099 --> 00:35:50,400
a Catholic sales
958
00:35:51,244 --> 00:35:51,744
man,
959
00:35:52,285 --> 00:35:52,945
and he
960
00:35:54,045 --> 00:35:56,204
I'm not sure. I mean, thinking back about
961
00:35:56,204 --> 00:35:57,505
him, he was
962
00:35:57,965 --> 00:36:00,144
because he was a salesman, he was constantly
963
00:36:00,364 --> 00:36:00,864
entertaining
964
00:36:02,045 --> 00:36:02,460
clients.
965
00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:05,179
So, he would take them out. He would
966
00:36:05,179 --> 00:36:06,159
take them to dinner.
967
00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:08,619
They would drink. They would party. And here
968
00:36:08,619 --> 00:36:10,139
I was a Baptist, you know. And I'm
969
00:36:10,139 --> 00:36:10,639
like,
970
00:36:11,019 --> 00:36:11,519
he's
971
00:36:12,219 --> 00:36:12,719
Catholic?
972
00:36:13,099 --> 00:36:14,699
I don't think I ever want to be
973
00:36:14,699 --> 00:36:16,719
Catholic. Because to me, it just seemed
974
00:36:17,344 --> 00:36:17,844
hedonistic.
975
00:36:18,625 --> 00:36:20,244
It was so undisciplined
976
00:36:20,704 --> 00:36:21,924
sounding and looking.
977
00:36:22,545 --> 00:36:24,625
And so that might be an area, as
978
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:26,804
Catholics, that we really need to watch.
979
00:36:27,264 --> 00:36:29,204
And we're not being hypocritical
980
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,460
as much as we're considering
981
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,940
the salvation of another Christian.
982
00:36:37,039 --> 00:36:39,539
But still, you really have to weigh that.
983
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,500
What you might not do in public,
984
00:36:43,325 --> 00:36:45,265
you are free to do in your home
985
00:36:45,885 --> 00:36:47,105
because it's your home.
986
00:36:48,605 --> 00:36:50,445
We don't want to be hypocritical. I'm not
987
00:36:50,445 --> 00:36:51,265
saying that.
988
00:36:51,805 --> 00:36:53,885
And I'm also not saying that you have
989
00:36:53,885 --> 00:36:55,025
to give up everything
990
00:36:56,049 --> 00:36:57,909
simply because it offends someone else.
991
00:36:58,690 --> 00:37:00,150
We really have to know
992
00:37:00,529 --> 00:37:01,029
and
993
00:37:01,409 --> 00:37:04,369
at least evaluate as best we can who
994
00:37:04,369 --> 00:37:07,010
we're dealing with and what the situation is
995
00:37:07,010 --> 00:37:08,849
and what their faith is like. Do they
996
00:37:08,849 --> 00:37:09,349
actually
997
00:37:09,730 --> 00:37:10,230
live
998
00:37:11,684 --> 00:37:14,085
under Christ and his lordship? And if they
999
00:37:14,085 --> 00:37:17,525
do, okay, this might offend them, like, literally.
1000
00:37:17,525 --> 00:37:19,844
And I don't mean offense like I'm mad
1001
00:37:19,844 --> 00:37:22,085
about it. I mean offense like a stumbling
1002
00:37:22,085 --> 00:37:23,224
block to their faith
1003
00:37:23,780 --> 00:37:26,179
where they don't really believe it's okay for
1004
00:37:26,179 --> 00:37:27,780
them, but if they see you doing it
1005
00:37:27,780 --> 00:37:29,940
and then they do it, they've offended their
1006
00:37:29,940 --> 00:37:32,579
own conscience and therefore Christ. So you have
1007
00:37:32,579 --> 00:37:34,440
then you've become culpable
1008
00:37:34,820 --> 00:37:35,639
in offending
1009
00:37:36,135 --> 00:37:36,635
Christ
1010
00:37:37,094 --> 00:37:37,755
too. Because,
1011
00:37:38,454 --> 00:37:39,114
you know,
1012
00:37:39,414 --> 00:37:41,414
the maxim that Cain said about Abel, Am
1013
00:37:41,414 --> 00:37:44,295
I my brother's keeper? You know, yes. We
1014
00:37:44,295 --> 00:37:47,015
are. In the Christian faith, there is a
1015
00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:47,515
degree
1016
00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:50,155
to which we really need to be careful
1017
00:37:51,849 --> 00:37:52,510
to regard
1018
00:37:53,289 --> 00:37:56,269
our Christian brothers and sisters and their faith.
1019
00:37:58,010 --> 00:37:59,230
So we just need
1020
00:37:59,609 --> 00:38:00,590
to evaluate
1021
00:38:01,690 --> 00:38:02,590
those issues
1022
00:38:02,969 --> 00:38:05,289
as we're making certain decisions. And most of
1023
00:38:05,289 --> 00:38:07,164
us Catholics, you know, we'd have a glass
1024
00:38:07,164 --> 00:38:08,844
of wine at dinner at a restaurant and
1025
00:38:08,844 --> 00:38:10,764
never think a thing about it, and that's
1026
00:38:10,764 --> 00:38:13,664
fine. But getting drunk, getting sloshed,
1027
00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:15,025
partying
1028
00:38:16,125 --> 00:38:16,625
habitually,
1029
00:38:17,644 --> 00:38:19,324
those kinds of things, we have to be
1030
00:38:19,324 --> 00:38:21,984
careful about what kind of Christian witness
1031
00:38:22,579 --> 00:38:23,640
we are reflecting.
1032
00:38:24,579 --> 00:38:25,219
Because we
1033
00:38:25,699 --> 00:38:27,860
well, I'm getting ahead. I'm getting ahead because
1034
00:38:27,860 --> 00:38:28,599
that's actually
1035
00:38:29,539 --> 00:38:31,140
the topic of our next episode, so I
1036
00:38:31,140 --> 00:38:33,300
won't go too far on that. But here's
1037
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:33,800
another
1038
00:38:34,099 --> 00:38:35,239
instance. Okay?
1039
00:38:36,635 --> 00:38:37,375
My parents,
1040
00:38:37,675 --> 00:38:39,594
now this is before I was Catholic, my
1041
00:38:39,594 --> 00:38:40,094
parents,
1042
00:38:40,795 --> 00:38:41,694
we always
1043
00:38:42,474 --> 00:38:42,974
traveled
1044
00:38:43,835 --> 00:38:45,694
back to my hometown for Christmas.
1045
00:38:46,714 --> 00:38:48,795
It was just a tradition. It was something
1046
00:38:48,795 --> 00:38:52,179
that we always gathered together at Christmas as
1047
00:38:52,179 --> 00:38:54,839
a family, and then when we moved away,
1048
00:38:54,980 --> 00:38:55,960
a state away,
1049
00:38:56,579 --> 00:38:57,799
we would go home
1050
00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:00,659
for Christmas. We would usually be there on
1051
00:39:00,659 --> 00:39:02,839
Christmas Eve and then into Christmas morning.
1052
00:39:03,539 --> 00:39:05,114
Well, the last year we did that,
1053
00:39:06,315 --> 00:39:08,074
that, my son, I only had one at
1054
00:39:08,074 --> 00:39:09,355
the time, and he was very young. I
1055
00:39:09,355 --> 00:39:10,735
think he might have been four.
1056
00:39:11,114 --> 00:39:13,914
And he wasn't awake yet. And we were
1057
00:39:13,914 --> 00:39:16,074
all awake and kinda waiting on him to
1058
00:39:16,074 --> 00:39:17,755
get up so we could do the Santa
1059
00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:20,150
thing. And I had bought the majority of
1060
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:21,829
the gifts. I had wrapped them all. I
1061
00:39:21,829 --> 00:39:23,690
had loaded up the car.
1062
00:39:23,989 --> 00:39:25,609
I had done all that work.
1063
00:39:26,150 --> 00:39:28,069
But he wasn't awake yet, so I went
1064
00:39:28,069 --> 00:39:29,049
to get a shower.
1065
00:39:30,150 --> 00:39:31,849
And while I was in the shower,
1066
00:39:33,025 --> 00:39:33,925
he woke up,
1067
00:39:34,945 --> 00:39:37,105
went to the Christmas tree, and when I
1068
00:39:37,105 --> 00:39:38,244
came out of the shower,
1069
00:39:38,784 --> 00:39:40,164
they were opening presents.
1070
00:39:41,824 --> 00:39:43,925
And I don't remember if I said anything,
1071
00:39:44,930 --> 00:39:46,789
but I was so hurt,
1072
00:39:47,490 --> 00:39:49,430
and then I was mad.
1073
00:39:50,610 --> 00:39:53,490
And I determined from that day forward, we
1074
00:39:53,490 --> 00:39:55,190
are not gonna be home for Christmas.
1075
00:39:56,210 --> 00:39:57,970
I didn't want to make a stink out
1076
00:39:57,970 --> 00:40:00,724
of it because no one did anything maliciously.
1077
00:40:01,264 --> 00:40:03,025
No one was trying to hurt my feelings
1078
00:40:03,025 --> 00:40:04,625
or make me mad or offend me or
1079
00:40:04,625 --> 00:40:06,324
anything like that. I knew that.
1080
00:40:06,944 --> 00:40:09,664
But I determined this is a boundary that
1081
00:40:09,664 --> 00:40:10,804
I placed
1082
00:40:11,849 --> 00:40:13,309
for my own gratification
1083
00:40:13,690 --> 00:40:14,910
and even edification,
1084
00:40:16,410 --> 00:40:16,910
because
1085
00:40:17,289 --> 00:40:19,050
I knew that this would be an occasion
1086
00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:20,349
of sin for me.
1087
00:40:20,970 --> 00:40:22,030
If I continued
1088
00:40:22,329 --> 00:40:22,829
to
1089
00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:25,255
practice
1090
00:40:26,114 --> 00:40:29,175
going home as was the family tradition,
1091
00:40:30,594 --> 00:40:32,135
and that ever happened again,
1092
00:40:32,515 --> 00:40:34,994
oh, I was gonna be upset. So I
1093
00:40:34,994 --> 00:40:37,074
just determined we're not gonna do that anymore.
1094
00:40:37,074 --> 00:40:39,335
I didn't say anything. We came home,
1095
00:40:39,670 --> 00:40:42,389
but the next year, we didn't go home
1096
00:40:42,389 --> 00:40:43,130
for Christmas.
1097
00:40:44,309 --> 00:40:46,550
I know people. I work with them one
1098
00:40:46,550 --> 00:40:48,949
on one. I see their comments and their
1099
00:40:48,949 --> 00:40:51,269
questions over in the community. I work with
1100
00:40:51,269 --> 00:40:52,409
people who have
1101
00:40:52,864 --> 00:40:53,844
who are enslaved
1102
00:40:55,264 --> 00:40:56,644
or have been enslaved
1103
00:40:57,105 --> 00:41:00,224
to family traditions that no longer serve their
1104
00:41:00,224 --> 00:41:00,724
families.
1105
00:41:02,224 --> 00:41:03,444
Their own families.
1106
00:41:04,545 --> 00:41:07,905
And, their parents expect them to continue those
1107
00:41:07,905 --> 00:41:08,405
traditions,
1108
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,320
and if they step back from them at
1109
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,019
all, the parents are mad,
1110
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,099
they're offended, and they're hurt.
1111
00:41:16,199 --> 00:41:17,739
But what is best for
1112
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:19,420
the
1113
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:20,380
the family
1114
00:41:21,639 --> 00:41:22,940
of these people,
1115
00:41:24,855 --> 00:41:27,434
their own families, not the extended family, but
1116
00:41:27,655 --> 00:41:29,434
their own families, their children,
1117
00:41:30,215 --> 00:41:31,114
their marriage,
1118
00:41:31,815 --> 00:41:33,735
I mean, it's not even counting the fact
1119
00:41:33,735 --> 00:41:35,035
that you have to travel.
1120
00:41:35,909 --> 00:41:37,989
And, my parents were divorced, so when we
1121
00:41:37,989 --> 00:41:39,829
went home, we also had to go to
1122
00:41:39,829 --> 00:41:40,889
two different houses
1123
00:41:41,190 --> 00:41:43,670
with two different sets of parents and step
1124
00:41:43,670 --> 00:41:45,210
parents. It was just
1125
00:41:45,589 --> 00:41:47,909
it was too much. So, there were lots
1126
00:41:47,909 --> 00:41:50,789
of reasons that it wasn't just the opening
1127
00:41:50,789 --> 00:41:52,224
of presents when I wasn't
1128
00:41:53,085 --> 00:41:53,585
there
1129
00:41:54,364 --> 00:41:56,364
and I couldn't be Santa. It wasn't just
1130
00:41:56,364 --> 00:41:58,364
that. There were several things that kind of
1131
00:41:58,364 --> 00:41:59,664
factored into it.
1132
00:41:59,965 --> 00:42:02,525
But, the point here is that I set
1133
00:42:02,525 --> 00:42:03,744
a new boundary.
1134
00:42:04,284 --> 00:42:06,545
We're not coming home for Christmas anymore.
1135
00:42:06,849 --> 00:42:08,929
Not on the day of or the day
1136
00:42:08,929 --> 00:42:10,550
before or the day after.
1137
00:42:11,089 --> 00:42:12,869
You can come here to our house,
1138
00:42:13,730 --> 00:42:14,230
or
1139
00:42:14,609 --> 00:42:16,690
we can delay it for a week, something
1140
00:42:16,690 --> 00:42:18,289
like that. But that cut down on a
1141
00:42:18,289 --> 00:42:19,889
lot of things. It kept us from having
1142
00:42:19,889 --> 00:42:20,630
to travel
1143
00:42:21,614 --> 00:42:22,835
six hours away
1144
00:42:23,295 --> 00:42:25,454
on a holiday that I really wanted to
1145
00:42:25,454 --> 00:42:27,954
be about us and our little family.
1146
00:42:29,614 --> 00:42:30,835
And that was appropriate.
1147
00:42:32,255 --> 00:42:33,474
That's my vocation.
1148
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,019
My vocation is my marriage and my family,
1149
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:39,420
not the extended family.
1150
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,059
And yours is too, if you're married.
1151
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,339
Your first priority is God and your relationship
1152
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,075
to Him, and second one is your vocation.
1153
00:42:48,695 --> 00:42:51,894
If it's marriage, then your marriage and your
1154
00:42:51,894 --> 00:42:52,394
children.
1155
00:42:52,775 --> 00:42:55,015
And so I felt comfortable, even though I
1156
00:42:55,015 --> 00:42:57,255
really didn't even have that principle then, but
1157
00:42:57,255 --> 00:42:58,394
I did feel comfortable
1158
00:43:00,215 --> 00:43:00,715
guarding
1159
00:43:02,219 --> 00:43:05,019
the privacy and the the fun and the
1160
00:43:05,019 --> 00:43:06,239
time and the peace
1161
00:43:06,539 --> 00:43:07,760
of my own family.
1162
00:43:09,019 --> 00:43:11,260
And it it didn't cause too much of
1163
00:43:11,260 --> 00:43:13,659
a stink, to be honest. But in some
1164
00:43:13,659 --> 00:43:16,780
families, it really will, or it would, and
1165
00:43:16,780 --> 00:43:17,519
it has.
1166
00:43:18,355 --> 00:43:19,655
And if that's you,
1167
00:43:23,155 --> 00:43:25,335
first of all, keep in mind that priority.
1168
00:43:26,114 --> 00:43:26,934
But secondly,
1169
00:43:28,434 --> 00:43:29,974
in thinking about edification,
1170
00:43:31,469 --> 00:43:32,530
can you balance
1171
00:43:33,309 --> 00:43:35,409
what is edifying and what is gratifying?
1172
00:43:37,070 --> 00:43:38,670
In my case, I was able to do
1173
00:43:38,670 --> 00:43:39,170
that.
1174
00:43:40,989 --> 00:43:42,929
When it comes to your family,
1175
00:43:43,469 --> 00:43:45,335
what's best for your family
1176
00:43:46,114 --> 00:43:46,614
is
1177
00:43:46,994 --> 00:43:48,695
sometimes going to offend
1178
00:43:49,474 --> 00:43:50,934
your extended family.
1179
00:43:51,315 --> 00:43:52,215
Your boundaries,
1180
00:43:52,835 --> 00:43:55,494
your boundaries are always going to offend somebody,
1181
00:43:55,554 --> 00:43:56,054
usually.
1182
00:43:58,079 --> 00:43:59,139
But you probably
1183
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:00,260
need them
1184
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,299
in many of these instances
1185
00:44:03,599 --> 00:44:05,920
in order to guard your peace and your
1186
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:06,420
time
1187
00:44:07,679 --> 00:44:09,940
and nurture your own family.
1188
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:11,219
So,
1189
00:44:13,105 --> 00:44:14,324
do we offend
1190
00:44:15,025 --> 00:44:17,664
a fellow Christian, fellow Catholic when they're in
1191
00:44:17,664 --> 00:44:18,404
our family?
1192
00:44:18,704 --> 00:44:20,085
Well, sometimes, yes.
1193
00:44:20,784 --> 00:44:22,244
When it's a matter of boundaries,
1194
00:44:22,784 --> 00:44:25,025
when they're best for you and your family,
1195
00:44:25,025 --> 00:44:26,869
because that's who you're supposed to be concerned
1196
00:44:26,869 --> 00:44:28,570
about, not your extended family.
1197
00:44:29,030 --> 00:44:30,710
So, if they're upset with you, then they're
1198
00:44:30,710 --> 00:44:32,550
just gonna have to be upset. And, it's
1199
00:44:32,550 --> 00:44:33,929
not a matter of salvation
1200
00:44:34,309 --> 00:44:34,809
anyway.
1201
00:44:35,590 --> 00:44:38,489
Right? This is not a spiritual principle
1202
00:44:40,074 --> 00:44:40,574
like
1203
00:44:41,195 --> 00:44:42,414
contraception is.
1204
00:44:43,195 --> 00:44:45,135
Whether or not to meet with your family
1205
00:44:45,195 --> 00:44:47,434
on Christmas is not a dogma of the
1206
00:44:47,434 --> 00:44:49,195
church, it's not a doctrine of the church,
1207
00:44:49,195 --> 00:44:50,555
it's not a teaching of the church at
1208
00:44:50,555 --> 00:44:53,855
all. So, you're completely free to make decisions
1209
00:44:55,460 --> 00:44:56,279
in love
1210
00:44:57,859 --> 00:44:59,799
that are edifying and gratifying
1211
00:45:00,260 --> 00:45:02,359
and a matter of freedom
1212
00:45:02,659 --> 00:45:04,119
for yourself and your family.
1213
00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:08,579
And the rest of the everybody else is
1214
00:45:08,579 --> 00:45:10,260
just going to have to either get on
1215
00:45:10,260 --> 00:45:11,114
board or not.
1216
00:45:11,594 --> 00:45:13,534
If they're mad, they're just mad.
1217
00:45:18,635 --> 00:45:19,135
So,
1218
00:45:19,835 --> 00:45:20,894
the first principle
1219
00:45:21,434 --> 00:45:23,695
well, there's actually something else I wanna share.
1220
00:45:23,914 --> 00:45:26,394
So another area that can really help us
1221
00:45:26,394 --> 00:45:26,894
is
1222
00:45:27,559 --> 00:45:30,059
the Ignatian rules of discernment.
1223
00:45:31,159 --> 00:45:33,099
A couple of things to keep in mind.
1224
00:45:34,119 --> 00:45:35,260
So first of all,
1225
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,260
is it a matter of freedom
1226
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:38,539
or legalism?
1227
00:45:39,159 --> 00:45:40,699
If it's a matter of freedom,
1228
00:45:41,945 --> 00:45:43,965
then choose freedom over legalism.
1229
00:45:44,344 --> 00:45:46,265
You don't want to just be keeping arbitrary
1230
00:45:46,265 --> 00:45:48,664
rules simply because they're arbitrary rules and everybody's
1231
00:45:48,664 --> 00:45:50,265
always done it and it's a tradition and
1232
00:45:50,265 --> 00:45:52,425
we should just always do it then. Right?
1233
00:45:52,425 --> 00:45:54,425
If it stops working for you, then you
1234
00:45:54,425 --> 00:45:56,905
get to choose. You're free in Christ to
1235
00:45:56,905 --> 00:45:58,019
make those decisions.
1236
00:45:59,039 --> 00:45:59,860
Then evaluate.
1237
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,740
Is this a matter of edification or gratification?
1238
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,059
Is this good for me?
1239
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,539
Is it better that I satisfy
1240
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:09,140
the spirit
1241
00:46:09,519 --> 00:46:10,900
or the flesh here?
1242
00:46:11,364 --> 00:46:13,684
And what about the other people around me?
1243
00:46:13,684 --> 00:46:15,765
How is this going to affect them? Is
1244
00:46:15,765 --> 00:46:17,844
this edifying for them or is it simply
1245
00:46:17,844 --> 00:46:20,805
gratifying for me? Or vice versa, is it
1246
00:46:20,805 --> 00:46:24,025
simply gratifying for them or is this edifying
1247
00:46:24,164 --> 00:46:24,905
for me?
1248
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,349
If I'm only doing it to please them,
1249
00:46:27,349 --> 00:46:29,670
but it's not edifying for me, meaning to
1250
00:46:29,670 --> 00:46:30,489
build up,
1251
00:46:30,950 --> 00:46:33,349
to nurture, if it's not edifying for me,
1252
00:46:33,349 --> 00:46:35,269
and I'm only doing it to please them,
1253
00:46:35,269 --> 00:46:37,510
then I don't want to choose that. I
1254
00:46:37,510 --> 00:46:39,289
want to do the thing that's edifying,
1255
00:46:40,614 --> 00:46:41,515
if I can.
1256
00:46:42,695 --> 00:46:43,914
And then always
1257
00:46:44,215 --> 00:46:45,114
keep in mind
1258
00:46:45,974 --> 00:46:47,835
the priority of your vocation.
1259
00:46:48,295 --> 00:46:51,035
Your first vocation is to God and your
1260
00:46:51,095 --> 00:46:51,595
relationship
1261
00:46:52,055 --> 00:46:54,315
with Him, and edifying that,
1262
00:46:55,015 --> 00:46:55,515
meaning
1263
00:46:56,109 --> 00:46:58,829
giving God the priority over your time and
1264
00:46:58,829 --> 00:47:01,710
your energy. So for me, that means prayer
1265
00:47:01,710 --> 00:47:03,469
in the morning. But that doesn't mean you
1266
00:47:03,469 --> 00:47:04,690
can't do prayer at night.
1267
00:47:05,150 --> 00:47:05,650
Right?
1268
00:47:07,869 --> 00:47:10,824
That vocation is first, and then your secondary
1269
00:47:11,045 --> 00:47:14,025
vocation would be either religious life, singlehood,
1270
00:47:14,405 --> 00:47:15,464
or marriage or
1271
00:47:16,484 --> 00:47:16,984
priesthood.
1272
00:47:18,324 --> 00:47:21,525
Whatever that secondary vocation is, that's your next
1273
00:47:21,525 --> 00:47:22,025
priority.
1274
00:47:22,484 --> 00:47:23,944
That's who you consider
1275
00:47:24,244 --> 00:47:26,839
in making the decisions. Not the in laws,
1276
00:47:27,299 --> 00:47:30,019
not the extended family, not the friend or
1277
00:47:30,019 --> 00:47:32,339
the neighbor across the street, and not the
1278
00:47:32,339 --> 00:47:33,559
people in the parish.
1279
00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:35,000
That's
1280
00:47:35,380 --> 00:47:38,279
the vocation is the the next consideration.
1281
00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:42,945
And then we can look at these rules
1282
00:47:43,005 --> 00:47:44,704
for discernment. Now Ignatius,
1283
00:47:45,244 --> 00:47:47,324
he wrote all kinds of writings on this,
1284
00:47:47,324 --> 00:47:49,425
and so I have distilled them
1285
00:47:50,045 --> 00:47:50,545
into
1286
00:47:51,644 --> 00:47:52,385
a quick
1287
00:47:53,085 --> 00:47:55,839
reference, we'll say. So we want to check,
1288
00:47:55,839 --> 00:47:58,260
is it according to scripture? Is it scriptural
1289
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,260
or at least not against scripture?
1290
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,339
Particularly in the gospels.
1291
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,079
Does the church allow it and or encourage
1292
00:48:06,079 --> 00:48:08,000
it? That would be a yes then. If
1293
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:08,820
it's biblical,
1294
00:48:09,724 --> 00:48:11,425
that would be a yes.
1295
00:48:12,285 --> 00:48:13,804
If the church allows it, that would be
1296
00:48:13,804 --> 00:48:16,285
another yes. Is it reasonable? Does it make
1297
00:48:16,285 --> 00:48:19,565
sense according to reason, enlightened by faith? Is
1298
00:48:19,565 --> 00:48:22,125
it in line with what God has already
1299
00:48:22,125 --> 00:48:23,585
been doing in my life?
1300
00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:27,519
For instance, is this thing according to
1301
00:48:28,059 --> 00:48:30,940
my gifts and spiritual gifts and temperament and
1302
00:48:30,940 --> 00:48:31,440
personality?
1303
00:48:31,739 --> 00:48:33,199
For instance, here's an example.
1304
00:48:33,739 --> 00:48:35,280
When I was trying to decide
1305
00:48:36,380 --> 00:48:39,180
whether or not to teach RCIA, now it's
1306
00:48:39,180 --> 00:48:39,680
OCIA,
1307
00:48:40,034 --> 00:48:41,635
But a couple of years ago, I stepped
1308
00:48:41,635 --> 00:48:42,534
back from that.
1309
00:48:43,315 --> 00:48:45,474
And it was because I was traveling so
1310
00:48:45,474 --> 00:48:47,795
much on the weekends, and the weekends were
1311
00:48:47,795 --> 00:48:50,275
actually the best time for the people in
1312
00:48:50,275 --> 00:48:51,014
the class
1313
00:48:51,474 --> 00:48:53,619
to participate in the class. And I could
1314
00:48:53,619 --> 00:48:55,940
only teach it on Wednesday evenings because that
1315
00:48:55,940 --> 00:48:57,960
was when I was always home.
1316
00:48:58,820 --> 00:49:00,659
And I was traveling on the weekends, and
1317
00:49:00,659 --> 00:49:02,500
so I wrestled with that for a couple
1318
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:04,500
of years. I taught on Wednesday nights for
1319
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:06,599
a couple of years, but I could see
1320
00:49:07,464 --> 00:49:09,644
that we would get a lot more people
1321
00:49:10,105 --> 00:49:12,425
involved in those classes if we could do
1322
00:49:12,425 --> 00:49:15,224
it between the masses on Sunday, and I
1323
00:49:15,224 --> 00:49:16,925
was not able to be there
1324
00:49:17,704 --> 00:49:18,605
and teach
1325
00:49:19,144 --> 00:49:20,125
often enough
1326
00:49:20,619 --> 00:49:21,440
to be reliable.
1327
00:49:22,539 --> 00:49:25,199
And so this was one of the considerations.
1328
00:49:25,659 --> 00:49:28,219
Did it make sense according to reason enlightened
1329
00:49:28,219 --> 00:49:29,900
by faith? Is it in line with what
1330
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:31,579
he has already been doing in your life?
1331
00:49:31,579 --> 00:49:33,820
Well, yes, because I had taught RCIA for
1332
00:49:33,820 --> 00:49:34,695
sixteen years.
1333
00:49:35,655 --> 00:49:37,275
So I could have said yes,
1334
00:49:37,815 --> 00:49:39,195
but was it edifying?
1335
00:49:40,055 --> 00:49:41,914
It was gratifying for me
1336
00:49:42,215 --> 00:49:44,055
because I was able to use my gifts,
1337
00:49:44,055 --> 00:49:46,215
but was it edifying? It wasn't for the
1338
00:49:46,215 --> 00:49:47,835
people who wanted to participate
1339
00:49:48,860 --> 00:49:50,699
but had a harder time doing it on
1340
00:49:50,699 --> 00:49:52,780
a a weeknight than they would have on
1341
00:49:52,780 --> 00:49:55,360
Sunday when they're already participating at mass.
1342
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:57,440
And so that was one of the considerations.
1343
00:49:59,179 --> 00:50:01,519
Another one of those quick rules for discernment,
1344
00:50:01,579 --> 00:50:03,414
does it bring you peace and does it
1345
00:50:03,414 --> 00:50:05,674
feel peaceful? This is a big one.
1346
00:50:06,614 --> 00:50:08,714
Your greatest gift from God
1347
00:50:09,255 --> 00:50:12,474
is, besides salvation, eternal salvation, is peace.
1348
00:50:14,054 --> 00:50:17,034
So, if you're not peaceful about it, then
1349
00:50:17,174 --> 00:50:19,489
perhaps delay making the
1350
00:50:20,030 --> 00:50:21,835
decision until you do have more peace about
1351
00:50:21,835 --> 00:50:24,369
it, pray about it a little longer, evaluate
1352
00:50:24,590 --> 00:50:26,269
it a little more according to all the
1353
00:50:26,269 --> 00:50:26,769
principles,
1354
00:50:28,909 --> 00:50:31,070
and ultimately for me, if I don't feel
1355
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,469
peaceful about it, I won't do it. I
1356
00:50:33,469 --> 00:50:34,210
was able,
1357
00:50:34,565 --> 00:50:37,285
in the whole contraception issue, I had peace
1358
00:50:37,285 --> 00:50:38,825
about that because I knew
1359
00:50:39,364 --> 00:50:42,085
from my relationship with God that He would
1360
00:50:42,085 --> 00:50:43,864
take care of that. I knew He would.
1361
00:50:44,164 --> 00:50:46,005
And so I just trusted Him. And it
1362
00:50:46,005 --> 00:50:48,325
took about a month. But, man, when He
1363
00:50:48,325 --> 00:50:49,349
moved, He moved.
1364
00:50:49,910 --> 00:50:52,070
And he did exactly well, I mean I
1365
00:50:52,070 --> 00:50:53,269
didn't expect him to do it the way
1366
00:50:53,269 --> 00:50:54,470
he did it. But I knew that he
1367
00:50:54,470 --> 00:50:56,170
would take care of it, and he did.
1368
00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:58,489
So I had peace about it, even though
1369
00:50:58,789 --> 00:51:01,430
technically speaking, I was actually breaking a doctrine
1370
00:51:01,430 --> 00:51:02,250
of the church.
1371
00:51:02,630 --> 00:51:04,394
And my priest told me I could.
1372
00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:06,135
So that was one of those kind of
1373
00:51:06,135 --> 00:51:09,175
gray areas that we really want to practice
1374
00:51:09,175 --> 00:51:11,994
our Christian maturity in making those decisions.
1375
00:51:12,375 --> 00:51:14,715
Here's another one of those rules for discernment.
1376
00:51:15,015 --> 00:51:15,994
Is it unrealistically
1377
00:51:16,695 --> 00:51:17,195
radical?
1378
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:20,480
Am I actually capable,
1379
00:51:20,860 --> 00:51:23,440
literally capable of doing it? For instance,
1380
00:51:24,619 --> 00:51:26,059
do I want to sing in the choir,
1381
00:51:26,059 --> 00:51:28,079
but I can't carry a tune?
1382
00:51:29,180 --> 00:51:31,505
Do I want a teaching ministry,
1383
00:51:32,204 --> 00:51:34,844
but my spiritual gifts actually lie in the
1384
00:51:34,844 --> 00:51:36,464
area of intercession
1385
00:51:36,764 --> 00:51:37,744
and encouragement
1386
00:51:38,045 --> 00:51:39,964
and not in teaching at all? I don't
1387
00:51:39,964 --> 00:51:41,585
even like to read much.
1388
00:51:42,045 --> 00:51:43,025
Don't like theology.
1389
00:51:43,324 --> 00:51:46,539
Right? That would be excessive demands. That would
1390
00:51:46,539 --> 00:51:49,119
place excessive demands on you
1391
00:51:50,460 --> 00:51:51,360
to be able
1392
00:51:51,980 --> 00:51:54,940
to teach when it's not in your spiritual
1393
00:51:54,940 --> 00:51:55,760
gift mix
1394
00:51:56,460 --> 00:51:59,295
or you have very little interest in it.
1395
00:51:59,454 --> 00:52:01,694
So if someone comes to you and pressures
1396
00:52:01,694 --> 00:52:03,934
you to take a class at church, but
1397
00:52:03,934 --> 00:52:05,795
you don't feel equipped for it,
1398
00:52:06,734 --> 00:52:08,275
then perhaps you reevaluate.
1399
00:52:09,454 --> 00:52:11,054
If you have peace about it, that might
1400
00:52:11,054 --> 00:52:12,494
be something else. Are you trying to do
1401
00:52:12,494 --> 00:52:14,880
it to gratify them? Or do you just
1402
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:16,179
wanna do it out of gratification?
1403
00:52:16,639 --> 00:52:18,819
Maybe it's visible and you like that idea,
1404
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,039
but it's not edifying, not to you because
1405
00:52:21,039 --> 00:52:22,480
it's not in your gift mix, and it's
1406
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,579
not edifying to the people that you're teaching
1407
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:26,639
because you're probably not gonna be very effective
1408
00:52:26,639 --> 00:52:28,855
at it. Right? So you can see how
1409
00:52:28,855 --> 00:52:30,234
all of this is very subjective.
1410
00:52:30,775 --> 00:52:33,894
And to impose a rule, everybody who's asked
1411
00:52:33,894 --> 00:52:35,034
should teach a class,
1412
00:52:35,414 --> 00:52:37,094
right, that wouldn't be it wouldn't be right
1413
00:52:37,094 --> 00:52:39,414
or fair. And it it wouldn't be holy
1414
00:52:39,414 --> 00:52:42,059
either because the the goal here is the
1415
00:52:42,059 --> 00:52:44,860
glory of God, is helping people grow to
1416
00:52:44,860 --> 00:52:47,119
their fullest potential. That's the whole point
1417
00:52:47,420 --> 00:52:48,480
of Christian freedom.
1418
00:52:48,780 --> 00:52:52,380
Here's another. Does it require an abandonment of
1419
00:52:52,380 --> 00:52:55,025
my duty and station in life? So duty
1420
00:52:55,025 --> 00:52:57,344
and vocation is another consideration, which I already
1421
00:52:57,344 --> 00:52:58,485
shared a moment ago.
1422
00:52:59,105 --> 00:53:00,164
And then consistency.
1423
00:53:00,625 --> 00:53:03,105
Is it consistent with my gifts and the
1424
00:53:03,105 --> 00:53:05,105
direction that God has led me in the
1425
00:53:05,105 --> 00:53:05,605
past?
1426
00:53:06,065 --> 00:53:07,825
So all of those, that's just sort of
1427
00:53:07,825 --> 00:53:10,085
a synopsis of the Ignatius
1428
00:53:10,739 --> 00:53:12,739
rules for discernment when we're trying to make
1429
00:53:12,739 --> 00:53:13,239
decisions.
1430
00:53:14,980 --> 00:53:17,219
But combine that with all of these other
1431
00:53:17,219 --> 00:53:17,719
principles,
1432
00:53:18,739 --> 00:53:19,480
and perhaps
1433
00:53:19,860 --> 00:53:22,420
perhaps you can make sort of a checklist
1434
00:53:22,420 --> 00:53:23,639
to kinda go through.
1435
00:53:24,340 --> 00:53:25,079
Is it
1436
00:53:25,695 --> 00:53:26,914
liberty or legalism?
1437
00:53:27,375 --> 00:53:29,075
Is it edification or gratification?
1438
00:53:30,094 --> 00:53:32,114
Is it in the priorities of my vocation?
1439
00:53:32,494 --> 00:53:34,675
Is it according to the rules of discernment?
1440
00:53:35,135 --> 00:53:37,454
As you're making decisions, if you keep those
1441
00:53:37,454 --> 00:53:39,375
things in mind, you're gonna be a whole
1442
00:53:39,375 --> 00:53:40,559
lot more free
1443
00:53:41,019 --> 00:53:43,579
to make the decision that is about freedom
1444
00:53:43,579 --> 00:53:46,299
for you and freedom for the people around
1445
00:53:46,299 --> 00:53:49,019
you. And then if you have to offend
1446
00:53:49,019 --> 00:53:50,480
someone with your boundary
1447
00:53:50,940 --> 00:53:52,000
or your decision,
1448
00:53:52,619 --> 00:53:55,025
then you can know that you're you're safe
1449
00:53:55,025 --> 00:53:56,005
to do so
1450
00:53:56,704 --> 00:53:59,364
because you have considered and you have weighed,
1451
00:54:00,065 --> 00:54:01,364
seriously weighed
1452
00:54:01,744 --> 00:54:04,325
all of those issues in your decision making.
1453
00:54:04,625 --> 00:54:07,204
And then when we have decided, we simply
1454
00:54:07,345 --> 00:54:08,405
entrust God
1455
00:54:09,069 --> 00:54:10,769
with all that we have weighed
1456
00:54:11,869 --> 00:54:14,589
and and received his input on. We step
1457
00:54:14,589 --> 00:54:17,069
out in faith, and we do what we
1458
00:54:17,069 --> 00:54:19,389
feel like is the right thing to do.
1459
00:54:19,389 --> 00:54:20,841
And at that point, we have exercised our
1460
00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:21,644
Christian freedom. We have navigated
1461
00:54:31,565 --> 00:54:33,744
vocations. We've weighed the rules of discernment,
1462
00:54:34,099 --> 00:54:35,539
and we have come to the very best
1463
00:54:35,539 --> 00:54:37,780
decision that we can possibly make without having
1464
00:54:37,780 --> 00:54:39,079
a hard and fast rule.
1465
00:54:39,619 --> 00:54:42,360
And that is Christian freedom. That is navigating
1466
00:54:42,579 --> 00:54:44,980
Christian freedom. Next week, we're gonna talk about
1467
00:54:44,980 --> 00:54:45,719
a proposition.
1468
00:54:46,900 --> 00:54:48,579
We could call it a pattern or a
1469
00:54:48,579 --> 00:54:51,164
model. Paul said that I am all things
1470
00:54:51,164 --> 00:54:53,985
to all men in order to save some.
1471
00:54:54,045 --> 00:54:55,485
What did he mean by that? We'll talk
1472
00:54:55,485 --> 00:54:57,724
about that next week. I'm Sonya Corbitt. You
1473
00:54:57,724 --> 00:54:59,585
can find me and all of my resources,
1474
00:55:00,285 --> 00:55:01,265
all of my
1475
00:55:01,805 --> 00:55:03,344
my books, my masterclass,
1476
00:55:04,849 --> 00:55:05,829
the love heals
1477
00:55:06,530 --> 00:55:07,030
information,
1478
00:55:07,570 --> 00:55:09,890
talks on that, all my videos, everything at
1479
00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:11,269
sonyacorbett.com.