8 - Plot Twist- Small Dicks for the Win and Using Tears for Lube

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Do you call him daddy? Do I call her daddy?
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Call her daddy.
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Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
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I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
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Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
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Eating tons of fresh grass.
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What?
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Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
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milk is so good. It's famous all.
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Over the world.
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Legend.
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Dairy ireland's grass and our farmers commitment to more sustainable
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actions help make irish dairy a true irish legend always
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look for the national dairy council guarantee learn more at ndc.ie.
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Amazon presents sophia's first overnight trip with mikey To prepare
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for their romantic weekend in Paris, Sophia browsed Amazon, where
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she found an eye mask, a Kindle, earplugs, and.
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Extra cozy pajamas.
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Perfect for winding down after a long day of walking.
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Hang in there, Mikey. Remember, there's nothing more romantic to
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Sophia than a good night's sleep. Now get her that
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chamomile tea.
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Remember wobbling along on your first bike or grinding gears
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during driving lessons? Practice makes perfect. Well, selling property is
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exactly the same. You mightn't have sold very often, but
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Sherry Fitzgerald has for over 40 years. With so much experience,
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you can trust any of our 100-plus offices nationwide to
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streamline every step of your sale. All while our online portal, MySherryFits,
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showcases your property 24-7. Sherry Fitzgerald. Trusted selling starts here.
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Happy Halloween, daddies. It is Alex and Sophia back at
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it again for another episode. Of Call Her Daddy. We
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hope you guys are getting after it tonight. We hope
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your walk of shame tomorrow is nothing short of beautiful.
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I want everyone to just let their freak flags fly tonight.
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That's what Halloween is all about. So let's talk about
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the moment we knew we were soulmates. Okay, yeah.
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So.
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Initially, I will admit, my first impression of Sophia was
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that she was some vapid valley girl hoe. And I thought, Alex,
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that you were some dumb, blonde, innocent chick. Innocent? I
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wish my parents were listening to innocent. Okay.
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Well, and I heard you dated some professional athlete. I
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was like this stuck-up bitch. And I was just skeptical.
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Okay, true.
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But?
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But can you agree? Guys, everything basically changed when we
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were on the subway after we were looking for apartments.
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And Sophia, she came to me with a problem. Yes.
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I was freaking out over some guy and I was
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like trying to win him back.
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So I asked you for advice. And Alex, what did
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you tell me? Oh, Sophia, what did I tell you?
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I looked you deep into your eyes and I said, babe, listen,
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there is one thing That can always solve any problem.
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And that is a great thing. blowjob. This is when
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I was introduced to the goddamn Gluck Gluck 9000. I
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told you the Gluck Gluck has never failed me. So
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I knew it wasn't going to fail you. And what happened?
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What happened with the guy that night? This guy fell
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in love with me. People fell in love. You're welcome.
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And honestly, any other girl would have given me some
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bullshit answer like, Just calm and apologize. Nope. Alex is
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over here. Suck a dick. Suck a dick like a
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champ and he'll be in love. No, but I just
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need you to admit, now that we're on record.
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Mm-hmm.
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I do give the best advice, don't I? You really do.
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I do.
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You really do. And honestly, I can't wait to tell
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this story at your wedding day because the toast that
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I make will be incredible. Yeah, about blowjobs to my husband. Thanks, Sophia.
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And to your father and your brother and your family. Okay.
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We are moving on and we are moving forward into
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a very fun topic. Okay. How do we begin this?
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Rachel Bush. Hi, Rachel Bush. We know we're late to
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the game.
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All right.
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We were talking about when a man cheats. Yeah. And
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the girl... Instinctively.
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Goes for the girl that her man cheated on her with.
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As if her man has no blame in the situation.
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It blows my mind. It blows my mind. And then
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Rachel Bush came into the conversation. So Rachel Bush is
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an Instagram model for all of you that don't know her.
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And her husband is Jordan Poyer. And he is a
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professional football player for the Buffalo Bills. Right. He cheated
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on his wife with a college student. And instead of,
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you know, dealing with it inside of their home, Rachel
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took to Instagram, to Twitter, to every form of social media.
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And instead of ripping her husband... This girl is full-blown
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attacking the girl that fucked her husband. What were some
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of the key points? I'm pulling out my phone. I'm
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about to read it. Okay, so she goes, Biggest hoe ever.
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Fucking with a married man. Classic. Jordan gets drunk as
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fuck and is a bucket case. Okay, that? You are
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just as much to blame as he is, if not more. Rachel,
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I am so sorry. I don't know you personally, but
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you look so fucking crazy and butthurt right now. No,
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you look so dumb. First of all, the fact that
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she's blaming on the fact that he gets too drunk.
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Oh my God. If I could blame the things I've
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done on being too drunk and a basket case, I
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would be frolicking through life. I wish I could do that.
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So that's what we were saying. It's so bizarre, guys.
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I mean, this girl... This poor girl, and Rachel, and
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I know you look like a very confident girl with
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your Instagram, but you, that's a good way to put it. No, no,
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no shade, but you look so dumb for how you
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reacted to this because then, guys, she goes on to say,
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I have people everywhere. I find out everything. The minute
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that I find out where you are, I will literally
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have everyone and their brother beat your ass. You fucked
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with a married man, you stupid child. That makes me
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ashamed to be a woman. No, let me tell you
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a little something, Rachel Bush. Your husband has a ring
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on his finger because he's vowed to be married to you.
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This girl owes you shit. This is actually the biggest pointer.
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Give it to me, Sophia. You know that he was
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in the room with his dick hard, salivating.
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telling this poor college girl that he fucking signed divorce
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papers that morning and that the divorce was on its way.
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He's like, babe, no, no, no, I'm not with her anymore. Like,
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we're done. We're getting a divorce.
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Right.
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The fact that Rachel's like, he would never do something like, Rachel,
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he will literally say, my wife died tonight in order
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to fuck this girl. Guys will say whatever they need
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to say in order to get their dick inside that.
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He'll be like, I'm mourning the loss of my wife
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who died earlier this morning. Let's so the moral of
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the story is rachel bush i i mean i don't
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know you personally but i'm just saying the way she
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handled this situation is so embarrassing it's like that girl
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owes you nothing your husband owes you everything and the
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way that you're threatening this girl it's like go threaten
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your husband this girl owes you nothing And if you're
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feeling really insecure and if you're feeling really intimidated by
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this girl, you're only giving her more power. You're only
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giving her more power if you're showing how much she's
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affected your life. And I mean, the whole girl getting
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mad at girl thing, it's happened to both of us.
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Both me and you. I mean, Adriana Lima has you
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blocked on Instagram. Maybe I wasn't supposed to bring that up.
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Let's get right into it.
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Okay.
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Yes, I am blocked on Instagram from Adriana Lima.
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Okay.
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Back in the day, I guess we talked to the
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same guy and I actually really have no idea like
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what the story was. All I knew is during the
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Victoria's Secret fashion show days, I was like, oh my God,
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need to go get my body goals. Going to stalk Adriana.
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And she was nowhere to be found.
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Okay.
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And why did she block you again? Because, so we
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were talking to the same guy, I guess. I didn't
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even know we were talking to the same guy at
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the same time. Exactly. I thought it was like. Exactly.
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You didn't know. Yes.
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Yes.
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And she blocked me.
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Wow.
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Adriana Lima, unblock her because she wants to see what
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you're up to. I just want to stalk you, please.
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You're so hot. But the same thing happened to you.
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Okay.
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Maybe in a worse. Why don't you tell the story?
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Because I like this story. It gets me all excited.
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I was making sweet, sensuous love to this guy.
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Yes.
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He was balls deep. Balls deep. Got it. Got it.
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And this girl walks in the room. I had been
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dating this guy for like a month. And I'm like,
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why is your sister here? Why is the Postmates person here? Like,
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what's happening?
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What's going on? The girl looks at me.
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And she says, Just so you know, this guy fucked
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me earlier today without a condom on.
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Okay?
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Okay!
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I'm over here naked trying to cover my tits and ass.
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I would have paid to see that. And what is
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the guy doing? Why isn't she yelling at the guy? Oh,
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he's just taking it all in on the sidelines. Can
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we just say this is a perfect example yet again,
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another Rachel bullshit. Why are you yelling at Sophia when
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you're supposed to? I guess, man, what were they? They
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weren't dating? They were like on again, off again, but
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totally not dating. Okay, so fuck you. Fuck you. I know.
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It was ridiculous.
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Anyways, I threw my clothes on. I got in my
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car and they were in the front lawn fighting. And
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just my luck, this neighborhood was impossible to get out of.
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I love those. And I ended up passing them like
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37 times. Okay, so I finally decided to ask them
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for direction. So I stopped.
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I rolled down my window and the guy came over
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to the car and he says, hey, so this girl
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is wondering if you wanted to do a threesome.
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A threesome. Shut the fuck up. Hold on.
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Hold on.
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Let me get this straight. So first of all, she's
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literally screaming at you saying he just came inside me
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earlier this morning. And now she's like, but does she
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want to do a threesome? Yes. It's because you know
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what she's doing? She's so goddamn petrified that he's going
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to leave her. So now she's had enough time to realize, fuck,
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maybe if I throw in a threesome offer, he'll stay
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with me. Insane. That's so pathetic. I barely knew this
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guy and that's what came out of his mouth. And
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this is... A perfect example of a girl holding on
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for dear life. It's pathetic. No threesome is going to
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solve your fucking relationship, baby girl. Threesomes do not save relationships.
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But good blowjobs do. So last week, we talked about DMs.
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We got a lot of good feedback. But we forgot
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to talk to you guys about one thing specifically that
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we think... you should make sure you do with your profile,
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and that is make your profile public, guys.
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Ain't nobody got time for a private profile in 2018.
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It's true. All the guys that have their profile on private,
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you're not getting laid as much as the guys that
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are on public. I swear to God. It's the truth.
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Every time I go to a guy's profile, if I
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see that shit's on private, I'm like, bye. Oh, I
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don't even waste my time.
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No.
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There's no point. So, guys, make sure you clean that
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shit up. Also.
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Oh.
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This pains me, but... The gym selfie. The gym selfie.
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I personally don't even think you should have one gym
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selfie on your profile, guys. But Sophia, I think a
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guy can have one. I do. Agreed. He can have
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one selfie. One fish picture. Yeah, one fish picture. One
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gym selfie.
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Wait, really?
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The fish picture? You can have one fish picture. I
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just blacked out for a minute. Fuck no.
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Wait.
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You can have, we said it in the last one. Okay,
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one big ass fish.
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Fine.
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Pick the one fish. You can have one fish picture,
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one gym picture. Okay, true. So moving on. So we
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wanted to address, with regard to the DMs, everyone's like, okay, guys,
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what do I do when finally I get in there?
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I slid in, she answered, and now I've got to
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keep the convo going. What do I do?
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Yes.
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Thankfully for you guys... I, Alex, yeah, Alex has been
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talking to a guy. And he's killing it. Yeah, for sure.
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So specifically with the whole social media, he's killing it
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right now. So I want to give you guys like
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a little inside scoop of what he's doing right because
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he's got my attention. Okay, so let me just break
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it down for you guys. Well, my biggest suggestion when
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you're trying to transition out of DMing to get their number,
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you always just go with a, hey, I don't really
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check this app. Here's my number. Text me. Smooth transition.
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That's the go-to. Boom. You give them your number and
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you leave it on them. Okay, so once you guys
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start texting, first of all, I always suggest put my
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red receipts on. Sophia thinks I'm an insane person, but
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I suggest right from the beginning, red receipts. You've got
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to play the game. I don't care if you guys
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are like, oh, I'm over games. You're playing the game.
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So you guys are texting for a good amount of time.
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The conversation's going well, but you know it's like, okay,
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what do I come up with next? This is what
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you do. You leave that person on read. If they
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send you something, even if it warrants a response or
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if it doesn't warrant a response, you are leaving them
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on read. And then what you are going to do
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next is in like 30 minutes to an hour, you're
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going to message them on Snapchat or DM. There's almost
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different etiquettes in each kind of app. It's like Snapchat
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can get a little bit more sexual. DMs are a
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little bit more funny and informal. And then texting, it's like,
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that's where you decide like, hey, do you want to
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hang out? Let's meet up. That is the more formal
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part of it. That's what we're talking about.
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I agree.
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So guys, girls, go around in all these different apps
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and you're going to use them because if you leave
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her on read... then she's gonna be like wait he
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read my text but he just sent me a snapchat
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or he just dm'd me and it's gonna get them
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guessing also if you leave them on red make sure
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you post a story post something on instagram or snapchat
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as a story and you leave them on red and
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they're gonna be like oh wait wait why isn't she
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answering why is he answering yeah i'm a psycho but
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use all of your different apps guys i'm telling you
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if you work it and you do it in a
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specific cycle i know i sound like a full-blown psycho
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i'm i'm just taking it all you see it works
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all right so ass play let's talk about anal but
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no we're not gonna talk about anal yet we actually
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just wanted to ask you guys do you guys even
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want us to talk about anal yeah i i get
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so many mixed reviews men do you like it when
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girls play with your butt during anything during head during
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sex we need to know and girls how do you
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feel as well because sophia and i have partaked Is
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00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:18.480
that even a word? We have both participated in both.
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00:14:18.740 --> 00:14:20.860
We've done it to a man and he's done it
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to us.
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Thank you.
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00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:22.740
And we want to know if you guys want to
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00:14:22.779 --> 00:14:25.529
hear about us and what we've done and our expertise.
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I can't tell if guys like it or not. I've
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00:14:28.990 --> 00:14:29.870
gotten mixed reviews.
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One guy asked, he was like, Me and all of
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my guy friends love it so much. We're wondering if
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we need to shave our butt.
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Yeah, that's actually something. Okay, so we were talking about
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00:14:39.330 --> 00:14:41.929
that because some guy told us that his girlfriend would
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00:14:42.029 --> 00:14:45.500
wax his asshole because they did a lot of ass play.
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And so he was like, I wanted it to be
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enjoyable for her when she went down there with her mouth.
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00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:54.490
What a mother Teresa. Honestly, what a woman. While we
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00:14:54.519 --> 00:14:56.370
wait for everyone to tell us if they want to
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00:14:56.409 --> 00:15:00.009
hear about anal... Let's talk about manscaping. We've had so
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many people ask girls, what do you want to see?
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00:15:02.389 --> 00:15:05.470
I mean... I think we're both the same on this topic. Yeah. Well,
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00:15:05.750 --> 00:15:08.009
first of all, to everyone, each their own. Yeah, that's true.
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To each their own. Yeah. But I don't want it
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to be like Chewbacca down there.
329
00:15:12.580 --> 00:15:12.799
No.
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But I don't want like a newborn baby. No, naked
331
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mole rat situation.
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No.
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00:15:17.879 --> 00:15:19.259
No, that's not what I want to see. I would
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00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:22.700
rather more hair than no hair. I agree. I've had
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00:15:22.740 --> 00:15:27.149
like a couple different... Okay, Alex. I've seen a couple
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00:15:27.169 --> 00:15:29.840
different penises in my time. She's had a plethora. One
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00:15:29.860 --> 00:15:34.320
of my exes would always be completely like a naked
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00:15:34.340 --> 00:15:36.379
mole rat and it just was like not manly to me.
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00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:38.700
And then my others, sometimes they wouldn't shave at all
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00:15:38.720 --> 00:15:40.679
and I'd be like, okay, when I put my face
341
00:15:40.740 --> 00:15:44.419
down there, I don't want to be eating a hairbrush basically.
342
00:15:44.659 --> 00:15:47.389
You want to like be choking on pubic hair. Right. Right,
343
00:15:47.409 --> 00:15:49.789
I don't want to choke on your dick and your balls. Okay,
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00:15:50.070 --> 00:15:52.690
cut that out. Anyway, so I think, guys, the moral
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00:15:52.710 --> 00:15:55.070
of the story is just make sure it's, like, groomed
346
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a little, but I think a little bit of hair
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00:15:56.269 --> 00:16:00.750
is nice. How about for girls? Okay. You know what?
348
00:16:01.110 --> 00:16:01.330
What?
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00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:05.500
I think girls can do no wrong. So ladies, whatever
350
00:16:05.539 --> 00:16:07.539
the fuck you want to do, do it. No, but okay.
351
00:16:07.580 --> 00:16:10.100
So Sophia and I, we texted a couple of our
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00:16:10.139 --> 00:16:12.279
guy friends, a couple of our exes, and we asked
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00:16:12.299 --> 00:16:14.809
like what they like. One of my exes responded and
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00:16:14.850 --> 00:16:18.210
said he likes complete bald. He said, ew, when I said,
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00:16:18.250 --> 00:16:19.909
so you don't like a landing strip at all or
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00:16:20.070 --> 00:16:22.169
any hair? And he was like, ew. And to that,
357
00:16:22.210 --> 00:16:24.570
I say, fuck off. First of all, you're lucky to
358
00:16:24.690 --> 00:16:27.090
even be Touching anything. Right.
359
00:16:27.110 --> 00:16:29.710
So take whatever you get. I personally think it's fun
360
00:16:29.730 --> 00:16:31.789
to mix it up. Especially if you're dating someone for
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00:16:31.830 --> 00:16:34.710
a while. I don't think I would ever go full 70s.
362
00:16:34.750 --> 00:16:37.360
No, no, no. But I think a landing strip can
363
00:16:37.389 --> 00:16:39.179
be hard. Sophia and I both said every time we
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00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:41.320
hook up with a guy, usually, especially if it's a
365
00:16:41.340 --> 00:16:43.139
new guy, we always go bald. But if you're like
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00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:44.480
dating someone, you can fuck around.
367
00:16:44.519 --> 00:16:44.759
Right.
368
00:16:44.779 --> 00:16:47.720
It can get long. This reminds me. Yeah. I'm going
369
00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:48.799
to do a quick segue.
370
00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:49.200
Okay.
371
00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:54.879
Because I want to put money on it. I truly believe.
372
00:16:55.779 --> 00:16:59.480
No other podcast in the world. Any girl is going
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to say this.
374
00:17:00.639 --> 00:17:00.879
No.
375
00:17:00.940 --> 00:17:03.500
Take it away, Sophia. I'm talking about the shaving.
376
00:17:03.539 --> 00:17:07.880
How many of you girls have shaved your vagina for
377
00:17:07.940 --> 00:17:11.660
the sole purpose of making your man think you're cheating
378
00:17:11.740 --> 00:17:12.069
on him?
379
00:17:14.289 --> 00:17:16.990
You heard it.
380
00:17:16.950 --> 00:17:17.609
Right, baby!
381
00:17:17.650 --> 00:17:21.170
That is some insane girl shit. So, Sophia said this
382
00:17:21.210 --> 00:17:23.009
to me the other night, and she, like, really didn't
383
00:17:23.029 --> 00:17:26.339
expect me, and I'm like, absolutely. And Alex agreed with me. No,
384
00:17:26.819 --> 00:17:28.220
but then we asked our roommate, and she was like,
385
00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:32.240
what the fuck are you talking about? I'm so interested
386
00:17:32.279 --> 00:17:34.900
to know, because it's a thing. Yeah, explain to them.
387
00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:37.799
I'm going to give you some background. When you've got
388
00:17:37.859 --> 00:17:38.440
your man.
389
00:17:39.140 --> 00:17:41.650
you only shave when you know you are going to
390
00:17:41.670 --> 00:17:44.410
be having sex with him later, right? You let it
391
00:17:44.450 --> 00:17:48.250
grow out when he's out of town, etc. If you
392
00:17:48.269 --> 00:17:50.789
want to mess with his head though, you will make
393
00:17:50.849 --> 00:17:54.640
it known that your vagina is shaved and looking beautiful
394
00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:56.920
when he knows goddamn.
395
00:17:56.359 --> 00:17:58.900
Well he isn't fucking you that night. So if your
396
00:17:58.940 --> 00:18:03.039
guy's on a trip, And you're like, babe, like, let's,
397
00:18:03.130 --> 00:18:05.160
you know, you, like, want to send him a picture.
398
00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:09.079
You want to do a little FaceTime session. And he
399
00:18:09.160 --> 00:18:12.160
sees you're shaven. And he's like, babe, why are you shaven?
400
00:18:12.180 --> 00:18:14.430
You're like, babe. Right.
401
00:18:14.450 --> 00:18:15.450
Babe, why?
402
00:18:15.829 --> 00:18:18.869
Literally just so he thinks you're being shady. What is
403
00:18:18.990 --> 00:18:22.950
wrong with us? Like we literally said we do that
404
00:18:23.099 --> 00:18:26.119
on purpose and they freak out. Or you're going out
405
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:29.380
with your girls. It's supposed to be a ladies.
406
00:18:29.019 --> 00:18:31.619
Night and you make sure to shave and you make
407
00:18:31.660 --> 00:18:34.420
sure he knows and he's like, Why did you need.
408
00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:35.519
To be shaved to go out with your girl? Yeah,
409
00:18:35.539 --> 00:18:36.480
you're like, hold on, babe. I got to go take
410
00:18:36.500 --> 00:18:38.059
a shower. Like, I need to shave. He's like, why?
411
00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:39.859
You're like, babe, like, I just got to shave.
412
00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:41.019
And he's like, why?
413
00:18:41.079 --> 00:18:43.920
And you'd be so sketchy and immediately he's like, why
414
00:18:43.940 --> 00:18:47.289
does her vagina need to look beautiful tonight when I'm
415
00:18:47.329 --> 00:18:49.670
not going to be inside it? Saying this out loud,
416
00:18:49.789 --> 00:18:51.240
we are beyond fucked up.
417
00:18:51.250 --> 00:18:51.670
We are.
418
00:18:51.710 --> 00:18:55.210
We're demented. We are. But at the same time, guys
419
00:18:55.289 --> 00:18:59.430
love the crazy. I'll keep reiterating that. You're welcome. Cheating
420
00:18:59.470 --> 00:19:01.819
tips from Alex and Sophia brought to you by Call
421
00:19:01.859 --> 00:19:03.440
Her Daddy. They don't actually cheat, but just make them
422
00:19:03.500 --> 00:19:04.299
think you are.
423
00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:04.680
Yes.
424
00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:09.019
It's just fun. So back to the whole shaving thing.
425
00:19:09.140 --> 00:19:11.240
I agree. Girls really do whatever the fuck you want.
426
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:14.529
But I specifically think guys like it bald. I don't
427
00:19:14.569 --> 00:19:18.009
think guys, though, should have anything. any um opinion on
428
00:19:18.029 --> 00:19:20.150
what a girl should do i agree when they're like
429
00:19:20.470 --> 00:19:23.329
like they're so lucky that they're even down no when
430
00:19:23.349 --> 00:19:25.279
they say it's gross to any like when i'm thinking
431
00:19:25.299 --> 00:19:27.140
about my ex saying that i'm like okay that's like
432
00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:30.200
when guys are like ew period sex oh let's talk
433
00:19:30.220 --> 00:19:33.220
about fucking period sex oh my gosh that is it
434
00:19:33.299 --> 00:19:36.769
is a natural thing that happens And when a guy
435
00:19:36.809 --> 00:19:39.460
says ew to period sex, I'm like, shut up.
436
00:19:39.559 --> 00:19:42.700
You can go jack off by yourself for the rest
437
00:19:42.740 --> 00:19:43.380
of the year.
438
00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:45.890
There are so many guys out there that are so
439
00:19:46.009 --> 00:19:49.210
scared and intimidated of period sex. I don't get it.
440
00:19:49.210 --> 00:19:49.289
Why?
441
00:19:49.329 --> 00:19:52.180
They're overreacting. saying it's gross and I'm over here like
442
00:19:52.440 --> 00:19:55.839
hey if you're a true savage period blood is just
443
00:19:55.900 --> 00:19:59.380
more lube yes thank you also have you ever heard
444
00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:03.339
of a goddamn shower shower sex get yourself a nice
445
00:20:03.420 --> 00:20:06.049
chair in there and go to town don't boy stop
446
00:20:06.089 --> 00:20:09.210
crying about the period sex get in there Be a man.
447
00:20:09.450 --> 00:20:10.119
Be a man.
448
00:20:10.130 --> 00:20:10.559
Grow up.
449
00:20:10.630 --> 00:20:13.420
Don't be a bitch boy. Unless you have whatever it's called.
450
00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:15.400
What is it called when you have a severe fear
451
00:20:15.460 --> 00:20:18.099
of blood? Oh, vasovagal or something. Where you like faint
452
00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:21.000
or some shit. Okay. Okay. Moving on. Moving on.
453
00:20:21.930 --> 00:20:24.009
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
454
00:20:24.190 --> 00:20:25.539
I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
455
00:20:25.730 --> 00:20:28.839
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
456
00:20:28.980 --> 00:20:31.099
Eating tons of fresh grass.
457
00:20:31.259 --> 00:20:31.519
What?
458
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:33.009
Not you, or cows.
459
00:20:33.269 --> 00:20:36.130
That's one of the reasons Irish milk is so good.
460
00:20:36.369 --> 00:20:37.869
It's famous all.
461
00:20:37.769 --> 00:20:38.509
Over the world.
462
00:20:38.769 --> 00:20:40.259
Legend. Dairy.
463
00:20:40.839 --> 00:20:43.920
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
464
00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:47.740
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
465
00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:49.579
for the National Dairy Council guarantee.
466
00:20:49.740 --> 00:20:51.799
Learn more at ndc.ie.
467
00:20:52.099 --> 00:20:57.970
Amazon presents Sophia's first overnight trip with Mikey. To prepare
468
00:20:58.009 --> 00:21:02.130
for their romantic weekend in Paris, Sophia browsed Amazon where
469
00:21:02.210 --> 00:21:06.380
she found an eye mask, a Kindle, earplugs and extra
470
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:09.670
cosy pyjamas. Perfect for winding down after a long day
471
00:21:09.690 --> 00:21:13.890
of walking. Hang in there, Mikey. Remember, there's nothing more
472
00:21:13.950 --> 00:21:17.480
romantic to Sophia than a good night's sleep. Now get
473
00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:21.380
her that chamomile tea. Find what you need at Amazon.ie.
474
00:21:22.059 --> 00:21:25.339
Remember wobbling on your first bike? Practice made perfect. And
475
00:21:25.420 --> 00:21:29.019
selling properties the same. Sherry Fitzgerald streamlines every sale thanks
476
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:32.650
to over 40 years' experience, over 100 offices nationwide, and
477
00:21:32.730 --> 00:21:36.769
cutting-edge technology. Sherry Fitzgerald. Trusted selling starts here.
478
00:21:38.019 --> 00:21:42.230
My friend was dating this guy and my friend got
479
00:21:42.390 --> 00:21:45.250
like a UTI or yeast infection or something. And guys,
480
00:21:45.289 --> 00:21:49.829
before you click out, relax because I'm about to. Shut up. Yes.
481
00:21:49.890 --> 00:21:51.589
I'm about to tell you something. Stop being little bitches
482
00:21:51.650 --> 00:21:54.339
and just listen up. Little bitch boys. Little bitch boys.
483
00:21:54.450 --> 00:21:56.039
Listen up. Okay.
484
00:21:56.680 --> 00:21:59.380
She had to put a serum up her vagina to
485
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:00.640
take care of this yeast infection.
486
00:22:00.660 --> 00:22:05.000
That happens. Okay. This guy she was dating was like, nope,
487
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:09.069
I'm going to douse my dick. in this serum, in
488
00:22:09.109 --> 00:22:13.069
this cream, and I'm going to fuck the yeast infection
489
00:22:13.190 --> 00:22:16.130
out of you. He was like, I'm going to fuck
490
00:22:16.150 --> 00:22:18.369
the serum into you and we are going to go
491
00:22:18.410 --> 00:22:22.539
to town until this shit is gone. Hi. Once she's
492
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:24.839
done with him, can she give him my number so
493
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:28.019
he can fuck me? What the? That is amazing. How
494
00:22:28.119 --> 00:22:31.119
amazing is that? And you guys might be thinking like, ew, gross.
495
00:22:31.140 --> 00:22:31.480
Ew.
496
00:22:31.720 --> 00:22:33.680
The hottest thing. Can you imagine him putting it all
497
00:22:33.740 --> 00:22:35.799
over his dick and being like, I got this, babe.
498
00:22:35.819 --> 00:22:38.079
What does that mean? That means he's a freak. A freak.
499
00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:40.619
And that means he's good in bed. That's what that means.
500
00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:43.400
We want to give guys a little inside info. Yes.
501
00:22:43.740 --> 00:22:47.369
This is huge. There are so many guys, and listen,
502
00:22:47.430 --> 00:22:49.690
I already said this to Sophia, like, I truly believe
503
00:22:50.109 --> 00:22:53.109
guys that have sisters sometimes are better off because like
504
00:22:53.329 --> 00:22:55.230
they grow up and like oh my god the period
505
00:22:55.589 --> 00:22:57.809
and like the tampons and they see it so they're
506
00:22:57.829 --> 00:23:03.400
a little well-versed if you guys act grossed out by
507
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:06.339
anything that a girl has to do with her vagina
508
00:23:06.359 --> 00:23:09.619
they are gonna be insecure and therefore they are not
509
00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:12.609
gonna perform like a freak in the bedroom yes oh
510
00:23:12.650 --> 00:23:16.470
my god the second a guy acts like he's totally
511
00:23:16.509 --> 00:23:19.730
chill with whatever she's got going on, period sex, if
512
00:23:19.750 --> 00:23:23.630
she's shaving, if she's not shaving, this girl will feel
513
00:23:24.130 --> 00:23:28.190
so secure with herself, with anything she's doing, and therefore,
514
00:23:28.509 --> 00:23:32.490
she will be a freak. So basically, take her yeast-infecting cream,
515
00:23:32.789 --> 00:23:35.410
slap it all over your dick, and fuck her so
516
00:23:35.450 --> 00:23:36.470
she knows it's real.
517
00:23:36.490 --> 00:23:37.369
For real, though.
518
00:23:37.470 --> 00:23:41.470
Like, if you act like you're unbothered by anything, she'll
519
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:43.859
feel so confident, and then she'll be a freak again.
520
00:23:44.180 --> 00:23:46.519
And then she'll choke on your dick moving on. Boom.
521
00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:49.039
I'm in a transition for girls here because... All right.
522
00:23:49.099 --> 00:23:52.480
So last week we talked about Dirty Talk in episode seven.
523
00:23:52.539 --> 00:23:55.160
If you haven't listened to it, go listen. Now, we
524
00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:56.690
had a lot of girls that wrote in. They're like,
525
00:23:56.869 --> 00:23:59.569
I love this shit. I think it's nasty. I want
526
00:23:59.589 --> 00:24:01.690
to bring it to my husband, my boyfriend, my one
527
00:24:01.710 --> 00:24:05.430
night stand, whatever it be. But I don't know how
528
00:24:05.470 --> 00:24:10.140
to do so because specifically for people in relationships, they're like, guys...
529
00:24:11.069 --> 00:24:13.430
How do I just randomly one night get on top
530
00:24:13.470 --> 00:24:16.190
of him and change the entire speed of how we're fucking?
531
00:24:16.230 --> 00:24:19.059
Get fucked up. No, get fucked up. Get fucked up.
532
00:24:19.150 --> 00:24:21.180
All right, listen, this is what someone DM'd me and
533
00:24:21.220 --> 00:24:22.900
she asked me what to do. And this is what
534
00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:26.559
we suggest. Girls, listen up. If you feel, damn, my
535
00:24:26.599 --> 00:24:28.160
man is going to be like, wow, that's really hot.
536
00:24:28.180 --> 00:24:30.019
But also it's a little awkward because it's kind of
537
00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:32.440
like you've never done this before. You text him and
538
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:35.490
you tell him, babe, I planned a little night for us.
539
00:24:35.569 --> 00:24:37.710
I want us to just like hang out. I got
540
00:24:37.730 --> 00:24:40.589
some wine for us. Ladies, you are going to go
541
00:24:40.650 --> 00:24:44.130
buy the hottest fucking lingerie or a little outfit. If
542
00:24:44.170 --> 00:24:46.509
he has a fantasy of a schoolgirl or nurse, whatever
543
00:24:46.549 --> 00:24:49.329
it be, you plan to dress up for your man.
544
00:24:49.869 --> 00:24:51.910
After you guys are a little wine drunk, you say,
545
00:24:51.990 --> 00:24:54.809
hold on, babe. You go into the bedroom or the bathroom.
546
00:24:55.069 --> 00:24:58.049
You change and you come out in your little costume
547
00:24:58.410 --> 00:24:59.789
and you are going to get on top of your
548
00:24:59.829 --> 00:25:02.599
man dressed. And that is when you can start saying,
549
00:25:02.619 --> 00:25:04.799
I want you to fuck me like I'm your whore.
550
00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:07.299
I want, like, turn me around. Like, fuck me, daddy. Like,
551
00:25:07.420 --> 00:25:11.460
all that stuff. Because basically, your little costume shows that, like,
552
00:25:11.500 --> 00:25:13.019
you're in character. You're going to play it up. And
553
00:25:13.079 --> 00:25:15.480
if afterwards, after you guys fuck and he loves it,
554
00:25:15.480 --> 00:25:17.680
because I guarantee you, girls, he's going to be like,
555
00:25:17.859 --> 00:25:19.900
where did this come from? I'm so in love with her. Oh,
556
00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:21.640
my God. If you want to make him think you're
557
00:25:21.660 --> 00:25:23.180
cheating on him, do this, too.
558
00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:24.079
Spice it up.
559
00:25:24.579 --> 00:25:24.880
Yeah.
560
00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:25.619
Stop.
561
00:25:25.779 --> 00:25:25.960
Stop.
562
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:29.349
You've never done before. He's like, where'd you learn that?
563
00:25:29.390 --> 00:25:30.809
My ex used to say that. He'd be like, where'd
564
00:25:30.829 --> 00:25:33.329
you learn that? I'm like, um, I don't know. But so,
565
00:25:33.670 --> 00:25:35.910
do this, guys. And then afterwards, be like, babe, like,
566
00:25:35.930 --> 00:25:37.440
did you like that? And he's going to be like,
567
00:25:37.660 --> 00:25:39.759
I fucking love that. And then literally the next time
568
00:25:39.779 --> 00:25:42.400
you have sex, normal sex... You whip that shit out,
569
00:25:42.539 --> 00:25:44.920
all those lines, and it will become normal and he'll
570
00:25:45.059 --> 00:25:45.349
love it.
571
00:25:45.380 --> 00:25:45.619
Yeah.
572
00:25:45.720 --> 00:25:47.910
Fake it till you make it. You can do that
573
00:25:47.930 --> 00:25:50.950
with anything in your life. I've done that my entire life.
574
00:25:51.410 --> 00:25:53.329
I only know how to do half the shit I'm doing.
575
00:25:53.490 --> 00:25:53.809
Boom.
576
00:25:53.890 --> 00:25:56.319
Maybe a quarter. Okay. But I do quickly want to
577
00:25:56.359 --> 00:26:00.680
address when guys try too hard. When guys hurry and
578
00:26:00.700 --> 00:26:03.500
put on music when you get back to their apartment...
579
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:05.940
When they throw on like some Marvin Gaye. I'm like,
580
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:09.420
I'm leaving. I'm like, that's the thing with girls. We
581
00:26:09.500 --> 00:26:13.140
pretend that we are not having sex with you until
582
00:26:13.180 --> 00:26:15.920
we are naked and you're naked and you have the
583
00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:20.089
condom on. We want to pretend that it's not going down. Obviously,
584
00:26:20.109 --> 00:26:21.950
you've been dating for a while. Yeah, that's different. But
585
00:26:21.990 --> 00:26:25.410
like when you're in the early stages and you get
586
00:26:25.509 --> 00:26:29.359
back to his place and there's music and candles and
587
00:26:29.430 --> 00:26:31.980
rose petals and I'm like oh bitch you think you're
588
00:26:32.019 --> 00:26:34.539
fucking so we won't be fucking I'm going home now
589
00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:37.420
the amount of times I've seen or my girlfriends have
590
00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:40.190
said like a guy you're mid you're hooking up whatever
591
00:26:40.250 --> 00:26:41.609
and he's like hold on and he gets up and
592
00:26:41.630 --> 00:26:45.029
he turns music on Well, this is my cue. I'm
593
00:26:45.109 --> 00:26:48.150
leaving now. Okay, but I also get the music thing
594
00:26:48.170 --> 00:26:50.730
because sometimes it's awkward when it's dead silent in the background.
595
00:26:50.759 --> 00:26:53.519
Which is why I think sometimes guys will purposely have
596
00:26:53.539 --> 00:26:58.579
the TV on. However, may I say, how awkward is it, girls,
597
00:26:58.759 --> 00:27:02.339
when you are getting railed from behind and the Toyota
598
00:27:02.380 --> 00:27:05.180
commercial comes on and it's like, come on down to
599
00:27:05.220 --> 00:27:07.960
Lane 59 and we're going to give you a 20%
600
00:27:07.960 --> 00:27:10.809
off discount on your oil change. And you're about to
601
00:27:10.849 --> 00:27:13.549
have your orgasm. i don't think so now i'm thinking
602
00:27:13.569 --> 00:27:16.299
about my 20 off instead of getting fucking real so
603
00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:19.859
listen guys what we can suggest is be as subtle
604
00:27:19.900 --> 00:27:23.049
as possible don't try too hard don't come on and
605
00:27:23.250 --> 00:27:26.519
put some music on on your phone just pretend that
606
00:27:26.559 --> 00:27:29.880
there is no sex happening until the very last minute.
607
00:27:29.940 --> 00:27:32.740
And you better believe there should not be any condoms
608
00:27:33.289 --> 00:27:35.029
anywhere that we can see them. You better be like,
609
00:27:35.089 --> 00:27:36.849
oh my God, look, I found one on the ground.
610
00:27:37.049 --> 00:27:39.769
Moving on. Moving on. All right, let's talk questions because
611
00:27:40.069 --> 00:27:42.529
every single week we tell you guys right into the
612
00:27:42.549 --> 00:27:46.140
Call Her Daddy website. The questions you guys send us,
613
00:27:46.359 --> 00:27:49.319
you guys make your own episodes basically. This shit is amazing.
614
00:27:49.460 --> 00:27:51.700
I sit in my bed at night and read these questions.
615
00:27:51.740 --> 00:27:54.140
And jiggle. And we like send each other. That's my girl.
616
00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:57.420
That's my guy. Let's go. Okay, so I'm going to start.
617
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:03.339
Someone said that their girlfriend will not swallow his cum.
618
00:28:03.660 --> 00:28:06.380
And he wants to figure out how the hell do
619
00:28:06.420 --> 00:28:08.289
I get her to swallow it without being a dick
620
00:28:08.309 --> 00:28:11.549
and telling her, bitch, you need to swallow it. Sophia,
621
00:28:11.869 --> 00:28:12.420
take this one.
622
00:28:12.430 --> 00:28:12.650
Okay.
623
00:28:13.619 --> 00:28:16.130
So what you're going to do is the next time
624
00:28:16.190 --> 00:28:19.289
she's sucking your dick, you're going to hold the back
625
00:28:19.329 --> 00:28:21.650
of her head onto your dick.
626
00:28:21.670 --> 00:28:24.569
And you're going to shove it on there. And you're
627
00:28:24.589 --> 00:28:25.890
going to force feed her.
628
00:28:26.210 --> 00:28:29.750
You're going to baby bird that cum.
629
00:28:29.309 --> 00:28:33.410
Into her mouth the way she needs it. Dude, people
630
00:28:33.430 --> 00:28:35.890
are going to think we're serious. You're going to shove
631
00:28:35.910 --> 00:28:38.450
that bitch's head. And don't leave room for her to
632
00:28:38.750 --> 00:28:40.910
keep it in her mouth because then she'll spit it out.
633
00:28:40.950 --> 00:28:43.829
You got to... Insert your dick into the back of
634
00:28:43.869 --> 00:28:47.349
her throat so there's nowhere else for the cum to go.
635
00:28:47.369 --> 00:28:50.289
She's forced to swallow it. Okay, we're kidding.
636
00:28:50.329 --> 00:28:50.809
We're kidding.
637
00:28:50.849 --> 00:28:52.950
We're joking. No, no, no. This is what you're going
638
00:28:52.970 --> 00:28:54.869
to do. You're going to lie to her. Yes, of course.
639
00:28:54.950 --> 00:28:59.069
And you're going to tell her that your cum, specifically
640
00:28:59.089 --> 00:29:01.450
your cum because you take a lot of vitamins. is
641
00:29:01.490 --> 00:29:04.319
almost like a probiotic yes and it's gonna make her
642
00:29:04.440 --> 00:29:07.400
hair grow and her nails grow and her skin glow
643
00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:09.339
every bitch is gonna start to swallow cum if they
644
00:29:09.380 --> 00:29:09.779
knew that.
645
00:29:09.700 --> 00:29:14.019
Was the case lie till you die we're kidding we're
646
00:29:14.039 --> 00:29:16.809
kidding okay no you're gonna say that you find it
647
00:29:17.029 --> 00:29:19.950
so sexy yeah if she if she ever did it
648
00:29:19.990 --> 00:29:21.950
just say babe that was so hot like i love
649
00:29:22.029 --> 00:29:24.210
it boom moving on we need to move on All right,
650
00:29:24.289 --> 00:29:26.109
some girl was saying, I'm hooking up with this really
651
00:29:26.150 --> 00:29:29.099
hot guy. He's so attractive. The only problem is he
652
00:29:29.140 --> 00:29:32.440
has a really small dick. You know what? This is
653
00:29:32.460 --> 00:29:35.109
about to take the world for a spin because Sophia
654
00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:37.210
and I are about to be small dick club, and
655
00:29:37.309 --> 00:29:39.970
here is why. Okay, a very reliable source.
656
00:29:40.250 --> 00:29:43.809
Told me that a smaller dick hits your g-spot in
657
00:29:43.890 --> 00:29:46.190
a way that a bigger dick cannot in a better
658
00:29:46.230 --> 00:29:50.529
way yes that it stimulates your g-spot so much yes
659
00:29:50.690 --> 00:29:52.839
and guys listen if you have a small penis that
660
00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:55.579
is fine yeah I am telling you if you have
661
00:29:55.630 --> 00:29:58.400
listened to episode five when we talk about the cooch
662
00:29:58.440 --> 00:30:01.299
gobbler combo it's If you know how to stimulate a
663
00:30:01.420 --> 00:30:04.619
girl's clit and you're also fucking her right in her G-spot.
664
00:30:05.059 --> 00:30:08.289
It doesn't matter how big or small your dick is.
665
00:30:08.369 --> 00:30:11.109
Whatever you're doing, if it works, it's working. You're golden. Also,
666
00:30:11.190 --> 00:30:13.190
just a little tip for guys, if you do have
667
00:30:13.230 --> 00:30:16.500
a smaller penis, if you do... If you do the
668
00:30:16.519 --> 00:30:19.240
position where her legs are over your shoulders and you
669
00:30:19.289 --> 00:30:21.829
kind of lean her upwards and she's kind of like
670
00:30:21.950 --> 00:30:24.529
arched back at the same time, that can hit her
671
00:30:24.569 --> 00:30:26.730
G-spot and so it will hit her right where it
672
00:30:26.750 --> 00:30:28.369
needs to be and you're good to go. Okay, so
673
00:30:28.390 --> 00:30:29.970
pretty much if you have a big dick, get away
674
00:30:30.049 --> 00:30:34.460
from me. Yeah, fuck big dicks. Let's go small dicks 2018, baby. Woo! Okay,
675
00:30:34.500 --> 00:30:37.160
moving on. Someone said, what do you do about your
676
00:30:37.220 --> 00:30:41.670
mouth getting super dry... during a blowjob, or even during
677
00:30:41.769 --> 00:30:46.789
regular sex. Girlfriend, you came to the right podcast. So
678
00:30:47.250 --> 00:30:51.930
what I usually do when I'm going to put a
679
00:30:52.150 --> 00:30:55.329
penis in my mouth is I usually will have like
680
00:30:55.369 --> 00:30:58.259
a water bottle. And this is like a really weird
681
00:30:58.380 --> 00:31:00.759
trick that I have. And just maybe you should practice
682
00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:02.700
on like a Popsicle before you do it or something
683
00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:06.240
or a banana. But you put water in your mouth.
684
00:31:06.910 --> 00:31:10.009
And then you literally will, I'm not saying to like
685
00:31:10.210 --> 00:31:12.710
deep throat it, but you keep the water in your mouth.
686
00:31:12.730 --> 00:31:14.049
Keep the water in your mouth.
687
00:31:14.190 --> 00:31:14.470
Yes.
688
00:31:14.690 --> 00:31:16.970
While you're giving him head. While you go down. And
689
00:31:16.990 --> 00:31:19.089
you're not like releasing it onto his dick, like spinning
690
00:31:19.109 --> 00:31:20.450
it on. It's still in your mouth.
691
00:31:20.470 --> 00:31:20.579
Right.
692
00:31:20.599 --> 00:31:21.970
And when you go down and you come back up,
693
00:31:22.150 --> 00:31:24.170
there's no water. It's just the residue from what was
694
00:31:24.210 --> 00:31:25.450
in your mouth. I'm imagining it.
695
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:27.400
If I took a sip of something and then I
696
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:28.980
put a Popsicle in my mouth, I could keep it
697
00:31:29.019 --> 00:31:29.559
in my mouth.
698
00:31:29.660 --> 00:31:31.880
Right. Just putting the Popsicle in and out of your mouth.
699
00:31:31.900 --> 00:31:33.140
Let's just keep doing this. But the water is still
700
00:31:33.160 --> 00:31:34.900
in your throat. I wish you guys could see the
701
00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:36.220
video version of it because you'd really get it.
702
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:36.539
But yes.
703
00:31:36.859 --> 00:31:38.900
I get so much and it will get so it
704
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:40.619
will obviously be a lot of water on there and
705
00:31:40.660 --> 00:31:42.559
guys also think it's so hot if you randomly come
706
00:31:42.619 --> 00:31:44.460
on there and you have water in your mouth and
707
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:45.799
they're like wait how did she just do that but
708
00:31:45.819 --> 00:31:47.180
it didn't come out but it's on my dick what's
709
00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:49.430
going on i just imagine you getting ready and you
710
00:31:49.450 --> 00:31:52.089
have your water bottle and whatever else oh i fucking
711
00:31:52.109 --> 00:31:54.609
love it that's a good gluck gluck and you're ready
712
00:31:54.630 --> 00:31:57.750
to go yeah i was gonna say if you're deep
713
00:31:57.789 --> 00:32:01.750
throating it I feel like you just naturally get, I
714
00:32:01.769 --> 00:32:03.849
don't want to say mucus, but you just naturally will
715
00:32:03.869 --> 00:32:07.859
get more lubrication. And you're taking that to your throat.
716
00:32:08.299 --> 00:32:09.240
And gag a little.
717
00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:09.960
And you know what?
718
00:32:09.980 --> 00:32:12.660
If you're gagging and you're choking yourself with a dick,
719
00:32:12.819 --> 00:32:15.700
some tears will come out. And that will also add
720
00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:21.349
to the lubrication. Cry on his dick. Just actually, you
721
00:32:21.470 --> 00:32:24.190
know what, back up. Think of something so depressing and
722
00:32:24.289 --> 00:32:26.809
so sad while you're sucking that dick and start crying
723
00:32:27.009 --> 00:32:32.259
and the lubrication will happen naturally. Okay, that was amazing. Wait,
724
00:32:32.339 --> 00:32:34.660
while we're talking about crying out of your eyes, I
725
00:32:34.779 --> 00:32:36.359
have something to do with your eyes. Someone wrote us
726
00:32:36.420 --> 00:32:38.420
a story. I want to give a shout out to
727
00:32:38.460 --> 00:32:40.359
this girl because I need to talk about you on
728
00:32:40.400 --> 00:32:43.039
this podcast. This girl said, I was fucking with some
729
00:32:43.099 --> 00:32:45.789
guy and I said some stupid shit like, come on
730
00:32:45.809 --> 00:32:49.549
my face, daddy. And did he ever. He sprayed that
731
00:32:49.630 --> 00:32:51.009
shit like... That's not stupid.
732
00:32:51.130 --> 00:32:51.230
What?
733
00:32:51.269 --> 00:32:53.710
That's not stupid. Yeah, girl, that's not stupid. That's amazing.
734
00:32:54.549 --> 00:32:57.230
And did he ever. He sprayed that shit like a
735
00:32:57.329 --> 00:33:01.200
fire extinguisher all over my face and hair while slapping
736
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:04.380
me with it. Fucked me up. Anyways, a week later...
737
00:33:04.819 --> 00:33:07.640
One of my eyes was swollen shut and I looked
738
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:12.220
like Fetty Wap. Went to an eye specialist and turns
739
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:17.190
out the motherfucker gave me eye chlamydia. No! Yes, she
740
00:33:17.230 --> 00:33:19.769
goes another week of looking like a monster and some pills.
741
00:33:19.789 --> 00:33:22.049
I was like, get the fuck out of here. How
742
00:33:22.109 --> 00:33:26.279
hilariously rude awakening. Protect your pussy and protect your face, slut.
743
00:33:26.779 --> 00:33:27.859
Girl!
744
00:33:27.980 --> 00:33:31.619
She got eye chlamydia? I've actually never heard of that.
745
00:33:31.660 --> 00:33:35.759
That's fucking savage. I'm obsessed with this girl. I wish
746
00:33:35.779 --> 00:33:38.180
she took pictures and sent it in. That's a true savage.
747
00:33:38.200 --> 00:33:41.609
If you guys want to hear facials, though, I mean, God,
748
00:33:41.750 --> 00:33:44.269
if there's anything guys love or they dream about, it's
749
00:33:44.289 --> 00:33:45.950
giving a girl facials. So if you guys want us
750
00:33:45.990 --> 00:33:48.109
to talk about facials on our next episode, we can
751
00:33:48.170 --> 00:33:50.890
absolutely do so. Let us know. I thought I just
752
00:33:50.930 --> 00:33:53.269
had to, you know, keep my vagina safe, but I
753
00:33:53.289 --> 00:33:55.319
guess I need to wear goggles next time I'm going
754
00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:58.859
to town. Boom. Okay, wait. There was one last question
755
00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:00.559
I want to address because before we came on here,
756
00:34:00.579 --> 00:34:02.059
a girl DMed us and wanted us to answer it.
757
00:34:02.349 --> 00:34:05.990
She was saying her ex blocked her on basically every
758
00:34:06.009 --> 00:34:08.610
form of social media or like deleted her off Facebook,
759
00:34:08.969 --> 00:34:10.670
et cetera. And she was upset about it because she
760
00:34:10.690 --> 00:34:12.329
was like, he may have a new girlfriend. He doesn't.
761
00:34:12.369 --> 00:34:14.159
But like, why is he deleting me from every form
762
00:34:14.179 --> 00:34:16.639
of social media? Let's just give her some advice because
763
00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:18.400
I think this is actually one of probably the one
764
00:34:18.420 --> 00:34:21.059
of the most relevant topics. Just what do you do
765
00:34:21.099 --> 00:34:24.360
when like your ex decides to block you or delete
766
00:34:24.599 --> 00:34:27.139
you or unfollow you or maybe even delete all your pictures,
767
00:34:27.179 --> 00:34:29.559
et cetera? I feel like. it's such a blessing in
768
00:34:29.579 --> 00:34:32.059
disguise it is it honestly is it might not feel
769
00:34:32.079 --> 00:34:34.280
like it at the time but it really truly is
770
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:36.760
out of sight out of mind the best way to
771
00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:39.869
get over someone is to not be constantly reminded of
772
00:34:39.889 --> 00:34:42.769
their presence on social media i also think you're better
773
00:34:42.809 --> 00:34:44.949
than that you're gonna get better than that and just
774
00:34:44.989 --> 00:34:48.989
don't don't let it phase you yeah boom Wow. Love
775
00:34:49.030 --> 00:34:51.449
you guys. I mean, that chlamydia in the eyes.
776
00:34:51.769 --> 00:34:52.030
I know.
777
00:34:52.050 --> 00:34:53.250
I can't get over it.
778
00:34:53.389 --> 00:34:53.969
Holy shit.
779
00:34:54.010 --> 00:34:54.590
In love.
780
00:34:54.690 --> 00:34:58.349
Okay, so guys, that is our episode for this week. Again,
781
00:34:58.369 --> 00:35:01.000
we just teased you a little bit. We offered some
782
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:03.280
possible anal play. We offered a little bit of a
783
00:35:03.340 --> 00:35:06.639
facial conversation. Let us know if you guys want to
784
00:35:06.659 --> 00:35:08.380
hear more about that. that yeah so thank you guys
785
00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:11.079
so much for hanging out with us again every fucking
786
00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:13.960
Wednesday we love you guys so much we had so
787
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:16.199
much fun this week we love talking with you guys
788
00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:18.389
I hope you guys go to iTunes make sure you
789
00:35:18.409 --> 00:35:20.610
guys leave us a review and rate us if you
790
00:35:20.650 --> 00:35:23.469
like the podcast and nudes will be coming nudes will
791
00:35:23.510 --> 00:35:26.389
be coming I can solicit them on the podcast we
792
00:35:26.429 --> 00:35:29.269
love you guys thank you so much for listening bye.
793
00:35:38.019 --> 00:35:40.099
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
794
00:35:40.280 --> 00:35:41.619
I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
795
00:35:41.820 --> 00:35:44.920
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
796
00:35:45.079 --> 00:35:47.179
Eating tons of fresh grass.
797
00:35:47.340 --> 00:35:50.309
What? Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons
798
00:35:50.590 --> 00:35:54.570
Irish milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
799
00:35:54.849 --> 00:35:56.369
Legend. dairy.
800
00:35:56.929 --> 00:35:59.989
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
801
00:36:00.300 --> 00:36:03.820
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
802
00:36:03.860 --> 00:36:05.679
for the National Dairy Council guarantee.
803
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:07.900
Learn more at ndc.ie.
804
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:14.050
Amazon presents Sophia's first overnight trip with Mikey. To prepare
805
00:36:14.090 --> 00:36:18.210
for their romantic weekend in Paris, Sophia browsed Amazon, where
806
00:36:18.269 --> 00:36:22.449
she found an eye mask, a Kindle, earplugs, and extra
807
00:36:22.469 --> 00:36:25.760
cozy pajamas. Perfect for winding down after a long day
808
00:36:25.800 --> 00:36:30.000
of walking. Hang in there, Mikey. Remember, there's nothing more
809
00:36:30.059 --> 00:36:33.559
romantic to Sophia than a good night's sleep. Now get
810
00:36:33.599 --> 00:36:34.659
her that chamomile tea.
811
00:36:38.429 --> 00:36:41.590
Remember wobbling along on your first bike or grinding gears
812
00:36:41.650 --> 00:36:45.829
during driving lessons? Practice makes perfect. Well, selling property is
813
00:36:45.909 --> 00:36:49.050
exactly the same. You mightn't have sold very often, but
814
00:36:49.130 --> 00:36:53.130
Sherry Fitzgerald has for over 40 years. With so much experience,
815
00:36:53.289 --> 00:36:56.409
you can trust any of our 100-plus offices nationwide to
816
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streamline every step of your sale. All while our online portal, MySherryFits,
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showcases your property 24-7. Sherry Fitzgerald. Trusted selling starts here.