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There's a quote I came across recently from someone I follow, and I've been following her for a while.
00:00:07.123 --> 00:00:14.974
I have a couple of her books, and her name is Karen Salmansohn, and her Instagram handle is notasalmon.
00:00:15.314 --> 00:00:27.333
And the thing that stopped me on my tracks is she said,"If you stay too long in a bad situation, you forget it's a bad situation, and you get comfortable.
00:00:27.443 --> 00:00:33.764
Meanwhile, the best years of your life will pass you by." Let's think about that again.
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You forget is a bad situation, not that it's getting better, not that it stops being bad, you just stop noticing.
00:00:44.673 --> 00:01:07.793
And that's part of that thing that really got me, because I think of my first marriage, I think of the jobs that I've had that are shitty, and I just show up and do the thing and don't even think that it's a bad situation anymore because it just becomes part of the white noise in our life, my friend.
00:01:08.334 --> 00:01:18.614
And if you're new here, welcome back to Brave Moves, or if you've been here before, this is the show about small, courageous choices that change everything.
00:01:18.614 --> 00:01:36.024
And of course, if you don't know me, I'm Julie DeLucca Collins, and today I wanna talk to you about the situations we've all gotten in too comfortable in, the ones that stopped serving us a long time ago, but we stayed anyway.
00:01:36.823 --> 00:01:47.543
I think so many of us, by no fault of our own, we've just been conditioned, because nobody wakes up one day and decides to settle.
00:01:47.914 --> 00:01:49.924
It happens slowly.
00:01:50.664 --> 00:01:54.843
A job that started fine and quietly became draining.
00:01:55.554 --> 00:02:02.694
A relationship, a partnership, a friendship that used to feel mutual now feels one-sided.
00:02:03.313 --> 00:02:12.563
Maybe there's a business model you built five years ago that you've outgrown, but you keep running because it feels familiar.
00:02:13.274 --> 00:02:25.984
And at first you're going to notice it, and you feel the friction, and you think,"Oh, this isn't quite right." And then if you stay long enough, something strange begins to happen.
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The friction becomes the norm.
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Think about it.
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How many times has the friction...
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Close your eyes,'cause you can come up with this.
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You close your eyes, and you will find that there's places in your life in which you stayed long enough, and that friction, you, you- Well, you stop clocking it as a problem because you've accustomed to it, and it just becomes the Tuesday situation, or it just becomes a thing that you do.
00:02:59.144 --> 00:03:15.114
And Karen's quote is pointing at that it's not that bad situations are hard to survive, it's that we get so good at surviving them that we forget we're supposed to be doing more than surviving.
00:03:16.193 --> 00:03:18.834
And here's the line that really lands for me.
00:03:19.144 --> 00:03:43.472
"Meanwhile, the best years of li- your life will pass you by." That's the cost Not drama, not collapse, just time quietly leaving, seeping while you're managing, coping, making it work, and the years are still moving, and they don't wait for you to get comfortable enough to finally do something about it.
00:03:43.792 --> 00:03:50.581
I remember hearing once, life is gonna pass you anyway, so why not take the scary move?
00:03:51.051 --> 00:03:56.801
And I think that sometimes we truly, truly put that aside and don't really focus on it.
00:03:57.171 --> 00:04:01.331
But comfortable and good are not the same word, my friend.
00:04:01.852 --> 00:04:05.042
It's not bad that we're stuck.
00:04:05.231 --> 00:04:29.802
The women I coach who tell me,"It's not that bad," about a business, about a partner, about what's draining them, or a client relationship that is disrespecting their time, or a manager that is just terrible version, um, they have become so accustomed, and they'll say,"It's not that bad." And that becomes a sentence that keeps people stuck the longest.
00:04:30.151 --> 00:04:34.192
It's just true enough to make leaving unnecessary.
00:04:34.922 --> 00:04:37.812
But comfortable and good are not the same word.
00:04:38.682 --> 00:04:43.391
You can be comfortable in a bad situation for years.
00:04:43.872 --> 00:04:51.182
Comfortable just means your nervous system stopped flagging it, and it doesn't mean that it's right for you.
00:04:51.992 --> 00:04:57.002
Your brave move for today, my friend, isn't a dramatic exit.
00:04:57.331 --> 00:05:00.372
It's smaller and harder than that.
00:05:00.942 --> 00:05:10.031
It's asking yourself one honest question: What have I gotten used to that I stopped noticing it's not working?
00:05:10.831 --> 00:05:37.482
Maybe it's your job or that ugly manager that is just passive-aggressive, or maybe it's the pricing structure in your business that you've outgrown, or perhaps the relationship, personal or professional, where you're the only one still showing up fully, and maybe it's a version of your business or your life that made sense three years ago and hasn't been reevaluated since.
00:05:38.091 --> 00:05:40.531
You don't have to blow up your life today.
00:05:40.901 --> 00:05:45.422
You just have to stop pretending it's fine when it isn't.
00:05:45.922 --> 00:06:02.041
That's where real really starts with someone willing to admit out loud or just to themselves,"This has to become too much comfort, and comfortable is costing me something." So here's your brave move for today.
00:06:02.781 --> 00:06:07.012
Name the situation that you've gotten too comfortable in and just name it.
00:06:07.341 --> 00:06:08.531
Write it down.
00:06:08.831 --> 00:06:13.891
You don't need to see it, in lights, but you need to see it in black and white in your piece of paper.
00:06:14.291 --> 00:06:18.521
You don't owe anyone a five-year plan by tomorrow morning.
00:06:18.521 --> 00:06:23.752
You just owe yourself the honesty of seeing it clearly.
00:06:24.291 --> 00:06:34.831
Because your best years aren't supposed to quietly pass you by while you're busy calling something fine that stopped being fine a long time ago.
00:06:35.708 --> 00:06:45.788
And again, my friend, I hope that today's episode helps you recalibrate because recalibration is something that we need to do often.
00:06:46.117 --> 00:06:47.737
Otherwise, we're off course.
00:06:48.538 --> 00:06:56.668
And I would love it if you share this episode with maybe someone who you know needs to recalibrate.
00:06:57.177 --> 00:07:00.348
Because yesterday, we checked in on the people that were barely hanging on.
00:07:00.757 --> 00:07:07.478
So today, let's figure out, do we need to recalibrate, or do we know someone, and how we can support them?
00:07:08.677 --> 00:07:20.358
Now remember, bad situations are teachers, and our job is to find the lesson in everything that is going on in our lives.
00:07:21.447 --> 00:07:26.168
Until tomorrow, my friend, don't forget, go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
00:00:01.014 --> 00:00:06.913
There's a quote I came across recently from someone I follow, and I've been following her for a while.
00:00:07.123 --> 00:00:14.974
I have a couple of her books, and her name is Karen Salmansohn, and her Instagram handle is notasalmon.
00:00:15.314 --> 00:00:27.333
And the thing that stopped me on my tracks is she said,"If you stay too long in a bad situation, you forget it's a bad situation, and you get comfortable.
00:00:27.443 --> 00:00:33.764
Meanwhile, the best years of your life will pass you by." Let's think about that again.
00:00:34.113 --> 00:00:44.344
You forget is a bad situation, not that it's getting better, not that it stops being bad, you just stop noticing.
00:00:44.673 --> 00:01:07.793
And that's part of that thing that really got me, because I think of my first marriage, I think of the jobs that I've had that are shitty, and I just show up and do the thing and don't even think that it's a bad situation anymore because it just becomes part of the white noise in our life, my friend.
00:01:08.334 --> 00:01:18.614
And if you're new here, welcome back to Brave Moves, or if you've been here before, this is the show about small, courageous choices that change everything.
00:01:18.614 --> 00:01:36.024
And of course, if you don't know me, I'm Julie DeLucca Collins, and today I wanna talk to you about the situations we've all gotten in too comfortable in, the ones that stopped serving us a long time ago, but we stayed anyway.
00:01:36.823 --> 00:01:47.543
I think so many of us, by no fault of our own, we've just been conditioned, because nobody wakes up one day and decides to settle.
00:01:47.914 --> 00:01:49.924
It happens slowly.
00:01:50.664 --> 00:01:54.843
A job that started fine and quietly became draining.
00:01:55.554 --> 00:02:02.694
A relationship, a partnership, a friendship that used to feel mutual now feels one-sided.
00:02:03.313 --> 00:02:12.563
Maybe there's a business model you built five years ago that you've outgrown, but you keep running because it feels familiar.
00:02:13.274 --> 00:02:25.984
And at first you're going to notice it, and you feel the friction, and you think,"Oh, this isn't quite right." And then if you stay long enough, something strange begins to happen.
00:02:26.294 --> 00:02:29.063
The friction becomes the norm.
00:02:29.674 --> 00:02:30.304
Think about it.
00:02:30.304 --> 00:02:33.234
How many times has the friction...
00:02:33.484 --> 00:02:35.683
Close your eyes,'cause you can come up with this.
00:02:36.383 --> 00:02:58.783
You close your eyes, and you will find that there's places in your life in which you stayed long enough, and that friction, you, you- Well, you stop clocking it as a problem because you've accustomed to it, and it just becomes the Tuesday situation, or it just becomes a thing that you do.
00:02:59.144 --> 00:03:15.114
And Karen's quote is pointing at that it's not that bad situations are hard to survive, it's that we get so good at surviving them that we forget we're supposed to be doing more than surviving.
00:03:16.193 --> 00:03:18.834
And here's the line that really lands for me.
00:03:19.144 --> 00:03:43.472
"Meanwhile, the best years of li- your life will pass you by." That's the cost Not drama, not collapse, just time quietly leaving, seeping while you're managing, coping, making it work, and the years are still moving, and they don't wait for you to get comfortable enough to finally do something about it.
00:03:43.792 --> 00:03:50.581
I remember hearing once, life is gonna pass you anyway, so why not take the scary move?
00:03:51.051 --> 00:03:56.801
And I think that sometimes we truly, truly put that aside and don't really focus on it.
00:03:57.171 --> 00:04:01.331
But comfortable and good are not the same word, my friend.
00:04:01.852 --> 00:04:05.042
It's not bad that we're stuck.
00:04:05.231 --> 00:04:29.802
The women I coach who tell me,"It's not that bad," about a business, about a partner, about what's draining them, or a client relationship that is disrespecting their time, or a manager that is just terrible version, um, they have become so accustomed, and they'll say,"It's not that bad." And that becomes a sentence that keeps people stuck the longest.
00:04:30.151 --> 00:04:34.192
It's just true enough to make leaving unnecessary.
00:04:34.922 --> 00:04:37.812
But comfortable and good are not the same word.
00:04:38.682 --> 00:04:43.391
You can be comfortable in a bad situation for years.
00:04:43.872 --> 00:04:51.182
Comfortable just means your nervous system stopped flagging it, and it doesn't mean that it's right for you.
00:04:51.992 --> 00:04:57.002
Your brave move for today, my friend, isn't a dramatic exit.
00:04:57.331 --> 00:05:00.372
It's smaller and harder than that.
00:05:00.942 --> 00:05:10.031
It's asking yourself one honest question: What have I gotten used to that I stopped noticing it's not working?
00:05:10.831 --> 00:05:37.482
Maybe it's your job or that ugly manager that is just passive-aggressive, or maybe it's the pricing structure in your business that you've outgrown, or perhaps the relationship, personal or professional, where you're the only one still showing up fully, and maybe it's a version of your business or your life that made sense three years ago and hasn't been reevaluated since.
00:05:38.091 --> 00:05:40.531
You don't have to blow up your life today.
00:05:40.901 --> 00:05:45.422
You just have to stop pretending it's fine when it isn't.
00:05:45.922 --> 00:06:02.041
That's where real really starts with someone willing to admit out loud or just to themselves,"This has to become too much comfort, and comfortable is costing me something." So here's your brave move for today.
00:06:02.781 --> 00:06:07.012
Name the situation that you've gotten too comfortable in and just name it.
00:06:07.341 --> 00:06:08.531
Write it down.
00:06:08.831 --> 00:06:13.891
You don't need to see it, in lights, but you need to see it in black and white in your piece of paper.
00:06:14.291 --> 00:06:18.521
You don't owe anyone a five-year plan by tomorrow morning.
00:06:18.521 --> 00:06:23.752
You just owe yourself the honesty of seeing it clearly.
00:06:24.291 --> 00:06:34.831
Because your best years aren't supposed to quietly pass you by while you're busy calling something fine that stopped being fine a long time ago.
00:06:35.708 --> 00:06:45.788
And again, my friend, I hope that today's episode helps you recalibrate because recalibration is something that we need to do often.
00:06:46.117 --> 00:06:47.737
Otherwise, we're off course.
00:06:48.538 --> 00:06:56.668
And I would love it if you share this episode with maybe someone who you know needs to recalibrate.
00:06:57.177 --> 00:07:00.348
Because yesterday, we checked in on the people that were barely hanging on.
00:07:00.757 --> 00:07:07.478
So today, let's figure out, do we need to recalibrate, or do we know someone, and how we can support them?
00:07:08.677 --> 00:07:20.358
Now remember, bad situations are teachers, and our job is to find the lesson in everything that is going on in our lives.
00:07:21.447 --> 00:07:26.168
Until tomorrow, my friend, don't forget, go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
