00:00:00
Speaker 1: What's up. It's Eric Andre and this is Bombing, the podcast where I talked to comedians, artists, and other interesting people about the worst bombs of their careers. On today's episode, we have John Famileetti from the band hell Jan and I talk about ass wiping, drugs, the time he came on the Eric Andre Show, more drugs, and a girl shooting her pants. Who's gonna love? Listen to this podcast enjoy.
00:00:23
Speaker 2: Bombing, Balming with Eric Anddre.
00:00:30
Speaker 1: I'm here with John Health from Health and I've known you for baby. I'm just say fifteen years, yeah, something like that. You do the Eric Andre Show I watched.
00:00:40
Speaker 3: I remember my friends are like, dude, you got this guy? Or Condre. They showed me like this, like I hate from a comedy club, like very very.
00:00:45
Speaker 1: Oh really whoa.
00:00:46
Speaker 3: That was when Andrew and Kitao, like right before the start working with.
00:00:50
Speaker 1: You, Yeah, Duke and all those guys say yeah, yeah, jen One.
00:00:53
Speaker 3: It's all fun. We were on the first the pilot episode of Eric Andre. It was never aired, but we were on it.
00:00:58
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm almost none of that aired, and all my friends that were on it were mad at me.
00:01:02
Speaker 3: They caught up that little pieces for that one super super crazy episode you guys did with like a million clips a little bit.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a tale about you that is fucking hilarious Okay, and it's not bombing. It is outrageous.
00:01:16
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:01:16
Speaker 1: Can I kick off with it? Your bombing sory?
00:01:19
Speaker 3: No hit it, no hit it, hit it.
00:01:20
Speaker 1: It's fucking crazy, man. It's what I associate you with the most.
00:01:26
Speaker 3: Okay, do you want it?
00:01:27
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:01:28
Speaker 3: I want it?
00:01:28
Speaker 1: Can you handle it?
00:01:29
Speaker 3: I can handle it?
00:01:30
Speaker 1: Okay. You were living with somebody else in the band at this time? Were you living with another band?
00:01:36
Speaker 3: I've lived with both of the band members at different times. Who I love with Jake and I also love a beach separately.
00:01:41
Speaker 1: I think it was I think he was living with Jake. So you live with Jake and you ran out of you guys, you ran out of toilet paper. You know the story. He ran out of toilet paper, and Jake's like, no, I bought toilet paper last twenty times. I'm not buying it again. I'm not buying it. It's John's turned Toliver and then he like was sneaking toilet paper in because he was indignant that you had to chip into the toilet paper, you know, like total roommate ship. Yeah, and he was sneaking in a roll timom and you go, ah, ship, and you were cooking. You're in the kitchen cooking food and you're, oh, dude, toilet paper nice, they needed that, and you grabbed it and you wiped your ass and you wiped like four weeks of ship out of your ass. You were like, thangs, dude, I needed and then like god knows what you did with it, like chucked it into the garbage get or something like that. I'm like, what in the fucking guantanamobey is that?
00:02:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's.
00:02:39
Speaker 1: Let's let's hear your side of the story.
00:02:42
Speaker 3: Said that is true. I don't I would say four weeks, but that is true. That's a true story.
00:02:46
Speaker 1: You want your ass in the kitchen?
00:02:47
Speaker 2: I did.
00:02:47
Speaker 1: I did well?
00:02:48
Speaker 3: I really, I mean it was on you know, it's like to unwipe your do have an a wipe ass? You know double white? Do you just buy toilet paper and wipe your ass at the back That time was the lean times. Then you know, can't be that lead, Get be that lead.
00:03:01
Speaker 1: That's like that's like third world, like pop a New Guinea like lead and that's like like.
00:03:09
Speaker 3: Our third roommate. He was like you, Johnny know quietly, you're the most discussing person I've ever met.
00:03:14
Speaker 1: So you were like a fill said that.
00:03:16
Speaker 3: No, I'm not a dirty person.
00:03:17
Speaker 1: No, he said, no, wipe not wiping your ass for weeks and then only wiping your ass because you know, somebody.
00:03:23
Speaker 3: I don't think it was weeks, satur days, let's days, maybe a day.
00:03:30
Speaker 1: But also, how are you wiping your ass without toilet paper? How are you wiping your ass?
00:03:36
Speaker 3: You know, it's a long time ago. We have all the evidence, you know, Like, I don't know.
00:03:41
Speaker 1: This.
00:03:42
Speaker 3: I wasn't I guess I just wasn't wiping. You know, man, my apartment just.
00:03:48
Speaker 1: Not wipe and you were just walking around town.
00:03:51
Speaker 3: Maybe it's like you know, you likes you started like clean completion. No, it's a perfect ship.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: I guarantee you.
00:03:57
Speaker 3: But it exists as a concept, but.
00:03:59
Speaker 1: You were not you were not exercising the concept.
00:04:02
Speaker 3: No, No, hey, you know it was a long time ago. It times different. I mean my ass is wipe right now, by the.
00:04:07
Speaker 1: Way, I don't even know if that's true. Yeah, do you buy toilet paper now?
00:04:13
Speaker 3: Costco by the bulk. I never run out, Oh no, now you're wiping. I've all, yeah, I'm a wiper. You know, it's actually funny. I didn't.
00:04:20
Speaker 1: This is I never looked at you the same again after I heard that's okay here, and I kept it inside. I didn't even tell you.
00:04:25
Speaker 3: Another weird wrinkle, like like I never wiped my ass sitting down until I was like twenty two or something. What did you You stood up and wiped it so much better if you're sitting down?
00:04:33
Speaker 2: Why?
00:04:33
Speaker 1: I never curd to me, why did you stand up?
00:04:36
Speaker 3: I just thought that's what you did.
00:04:38
Speaker 1: You would ship then stand ass and then drop it in the toilet. Yeah, why naturally?
00:04:45
Speaker 3: Naturally that's how I developed it. I didn't. I didn't realize it was actually guys in the band they're like, you wipe yours like you know, it's much better if you sit down, And I was like really, you know, I'm like, whoa, this is way better, so much cleaner. So I think at that time I was only a stand up wiper.
00:05:00
Speaker 1: Did your parents potty train you to stand and wipe? Well? You know, where did it come from? You know?
00:05:06
Speaker 3: I don't know because I remember being a kid. You know your your parents will literally wipe your ass, you know your yeah, yeah, your kid. But you yelled here you dinner, You yell like I need something to come and wipe your ass.
00:05:14
Speaker 1: And then you're like sixteen, no, no on.
00:05:19
Speaker 3: Is sorry, but you start doing yourself. And he was just I always stood up? Whe did you always wipe sitting down? Yes, okay, that's good.
00:05:27
Speaker 2: It's good for you.
00:05:29
Speaker 3: Obviously, and you went this is another question. We found this out to see back then we found a half half the band wiped back to front, back to the front. We discussed, I know, but they did it. We didn't believe them. They will do they do.
00:05:40
Speaker 1: But why the ball?
00:05:42
Speaker 3: That's also yes, I know, but they said, hey, it doesn't matter if you have a pussy. But still it's still towards your ball. It's still less proper.
00:05:47
Speaker 1: It might be less of a risk than of but like you're you're bringing ship towards the back of your ball.
00:05:55
Speaker 3: I just wiped standing up because that's how I thought you did it, you know, but anyway, I don't.
00:05:58
Speaker 1: Well you barely. You didn't wipe for weeks. That's animals like a very limited time. It was a whild that was the two thousands.
00:06:03
Speaker 3: Different time. You know, we don't know what we didn't know really different time. You know, I'm not I always just walking around a nasty ass.
00:06:09
Speaker 1: I thought like for years you were walking that was just that was a ship.
00:06:13
Speaker 3: That was just like one off, one isolated incident of a nasty It's.
00:06:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not.
00:06:18
Speaker 3: Come on, I got more sense. We all want to be itchy all the time.
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Speaker 4: It.
00:06:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you had ship on your asses.
00:06:24
Speaker 2: I thought you had.
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Speaker 1: I thought you were like a ship ass kind of guy, Like you had tons of ship in your ass for life.
00:06:33
Speaker 3: That'd be so noticeable. Dude, you just never wiped your ass.
00:06:36
Speaker 1: It would smell. Yeah, it'd be odorous.
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Speaker 3: You don't smell great.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: No, I mean I'm not. I don't want my nose in your pants. Yeah.
00:06:44
Speaker 3: Fact, if if we were a doggy style or something, yeah doggies. Yeah, yeah, that's real though. It actually back in clean completion. I know a friend, so he did this vegan girl and she's like, she's like, she's like, I don't want my ass. I do clean completion. And he's like, what's that. She's like, well, she's like, if you have a proper diet. You have a perfect shit clean completion, which I've had before.
00:07:00
Speaker 1: You drive vegan is a proper diet, and I don't think that. I don't think that's true.
00:07:03
Speaker 3: Well, you get sick and I have diarrhect But let's say you have a perfect ship because it's happened, you know, you fly it and there's literally nothing there once in a blue moon, you know, So she did.
00:07:12
Speaker 1: That wipe every time. I wouldn't even know.
00:07:14
Speaker 3: You wouldn't even Well, don't you look at it? What if you don't, there's just no look what do you want to stop?
00:07:18
Speaker 1: When I was a little kid, maybe maybe.
00:07:21
Speaker 3: Okay, you don't look at it when you wow? Never do you just trust yourself? Like three you.
00:07:25
Speaker 1: Might Well, I have a total toilet.
00:07:28
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I like those are wonderful.
00:07:30
Speaker 1: I got the whole thing. I got the fucking the Japanese squirter.
00:07:35
Speaker 3: It was amazing.
00:07:36
Speaker 1: Then I do a wet wipe. Then I do a wipe.
00:07:39
Speaker 3: It is ridiculous.
00:07:41
Speaker 1: And in the shower, I have the hand shower and shower the assle.
00:07:44
Speaker 3: This is ridiculous.
00:07:44
Speaker 1: I have one of the cleanest assholes in show business.
00:07:46
Speaker 3: It's absurd.
00:07:47
Speaker 1: It's like me and you on the assholes red room. On the hygiene, I have adet but whole hygiene, but I.
00:07:55
Speaker 3: Don't use it though. I prefer to go dry.
00:07:56
Speaker 1: Why.
00:07:57
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's mortal, earthy. It's just like I don't know, like it's just it's barns were there, Like, yes, I don't have this pomp and circumstance. I got to wash my hands now.
00:08:05
Speaker 1: So you don't wash your hands out, saying I shook your hand on the way.
00:08:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wash my hands. I'm a normal person, but just like you know, I.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: Don't think you are. I don't have a fun far from normal.
00:08:13
Speaker 3: I got the laptop here, You're like, wipe my hand?
00:08:15
Speaker 1: Come on, will you wipe your hands on?
00:08:16
Speaker 4: What?
00:08:17
Speaker 1: Tell? But no, you're very You're not cleanly.
00:08:21
Speaker 3: I'm not no, no, no, I'm clean a lot.
00:08:23
Speaker 1: Do you wash your hands out? Do you take a poop? Poop? Yes, a peep?
00:08:26
Speaker 3: Not really?
00:08:27
Speaker 1: Do you wash your hands before you eat?
00:08:28
Speaker 3: Sometimes?
00:08:29
Speaker 1: Yes?
00:08:29
Speaker 3: Sometimes you know what you're.
00:08:30
Speaker 1: You probably never get sick constantly. I have a hand sanitizer on me. I would think you're gonna use it right now. I'm thinking about it.
00:08:36
Speaker 3: It's ridiculous, that's bad. That's a bad way to live.
00:08:38
Speaker 1: No, you know what.
00:08:39
Speaker 3: Here's the thing, though, I'll do this.
00:08:41
Speaker 1: I started doing this all the time. I stopped getting sick all the time.
00:08:43
Speaker 3: Oh okay, well I don't get sick.
00:08:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you have so many germs in you, you're like a fortress. Okay, tell me some bombing stories.
00:08:55
Speaker 3: Oh man, So okay we did this is just and I'm sure you've done. Do you ever do something you get hard for these corporate gigs?
00:09:00
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:09:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've definitely done gigs where I'm like, I'm not supposed to be here.
00:09:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, we did. It was for Spotify Germany. It's probably Spotify. No its boat. It was a boat, no bows and Spotify private party, right, And they weren't allowed to be in there, so they kept us in this.
00:09:13
Speaker 1: Like shed who wasn't allowed to be in there?
00:09:14
Speaker 3: We they didn't want us in the party except for the performance, so they just so we like, yeah, we didn't couch. Well, they had to set up our gear and like rush us out, like got four guests. She was like come on, I get over here, good fear. And then they had to sit back and we sat there for like three hours in this tiny room They're like okay, go go gole. So they get there and we go and like the room was so tiny. It was like this and it's like low ceilings and it was like all white people like in suits and they were like forty feet from the stage in this room just all open and it was so crowded. We like I played in behind a pillar and we just played the set of like you know sound at the time. It was just all this noise and like trying our best to it is just horrified and I'm like, I'm like, what asshole looked us?
00:09:53
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why did you have us?
00:09:54
Speaker 3: And the second or done, they just rushed us out and it was bizarre and they immediately put us on a bus and got us off off the promises. Yeah, this weird, like mansion all the ship like that, And I'm like, like what intern got fired for that? Yeah, there's nothing that deep about the story. It's just it's weird.
00:10:08
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:10:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, well get the page. I can get the funk out of there.
00:10:11
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:11
Speaker 1: It was a band split payment four ways. I never understand how it bendes.
00:10:15
Speaker 3: Was only three guys now, but yeah three do.
00:10:17
Speaker 1: You split it evenly?
00:10:18
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:10:18
Speaker 1: Tour does it have to be like that or a the beam fights.
00:10:21
Speaker 3: No, I doesn't have to. We just didn't ever work it from the beginning. We didn't plan on doing it, so we didn't like work out. But it's not on tour, it's like all this it's the same work for everyone. We played Lallapalooza in the rain and uh and this is this is what was numberable because it was it was it was we had to open the day with the first bend of the day and it was raining, so there was like hardly anyone there and we were trying our best to go and and what happened was it was so wet. I was trying to rock out. My right foot hit this like puddle water and then I just slid going. I kept going. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop, and Jake was singing and he turned to me and out of nowhere, I was doing the splits like screaming, and he thought his head that I was just like possessed by the moment though I was like, you were like rocking like fucking James Brown or something like. He said, laughings are hard. He couldn't sick. I like tore my girls.
00:11:08
Speaker 1: It's terrible but you thought you were like over and you were like an.
00:11:16
Speaker 3: Aggay, Yeah, it's funny. Bomb Bomby stories aren't that long?
00:11:22
Speaker 1: Gotta be lock whatever, that's funny.
00:11:24
Speaker 3: Uh oh actually.
00:11:25
Speaker 1: I thought you got like electrocuted on stage or something. No, is that the worst injury you've had on stage? How did you play the rest of the show?
00:11:33
Speaker 3: Oh?
00:11:34
Speaker 1: I just I was just like, you know, yeah, yeah, adrenalin.
00:11:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're because you're in show mode, like you know, like everyone's like, oh, would you shoot your pants a stage? Like no, like you immediately lock in like it.
00:11:42
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:11:42
Speaker 3: The adrenaline, the show mode.
00:11:44
Speaker 1: Adrenaline protects you from the pain that you're gonna This isn't really afterwards you feel pain. Oh, totally, you feel pain. I had a fucking I just played Alaska.
00:11:53
Speaker 3: I don't want to in the winter.
00:11:55
Speaker 2: No.
00:11:56
Speaker 1: I played in like June or July, and like what was it ampler like a sp Like I jumped onto my desk, it broke in half and the sampler went because in the first ten seconds of the show, like the very first thing I did, and.
00:12:15
Speaker 3: Like is that on video?
00:12:17
Speaker 1: Probably? Yeah, And it just like the whole thing clocked me in the temple and it was so painful, and it was like the very first five seconds of the show, so the whole show I had like a Fred Flintstone lump and a massive headache. But it wasn't that bad. I knew it was gonna hurt way worse, like an hour after the show when the adrenaline wears off. But even with the adrenaline, it was. It was fucking agony. And I'm so mad at my tour manager because I was like, we just needed it for sound check, and I was like, please don't forget to take that sampler off the fucking I know it's gonna catapult, and.
00:12:54
Speaker 3: Oh you're the table was supposed to break.
00:12:56
Speaker 1: The table was supposed to break. Gig table. Yeah, the table was supposed to be the death, just supposed to break, but the sampler was supposed to not be there. At that time. I was just doing like a tech checks out, yeah yeah, and uh uh fuck man, it was so pain.
00:13:11
Speaker 3: I'm sure you already probably didn't oother podcast because you do all the crowd ship we're running around, so I never just fucking just go terribly. This doesn't work all the time.
00:13:20
Speaker 1: One time I jumped off stage and this kid went no, and like his finger fully went into my eyeball like in like yeah, like my eyeball squished back into my brain because his finger like broke my fall. Oh it was rough.
00:13:39
Speaker 2: That was rough.
00:13:40
Speaker 1: That was That was another like very beginning of this day. It was like like back in the blades, but it's so painful.
00:13:47
Speaker 3: Well, that was at FYF. I remember it was Tim and Eric and uh where him went over the thing the barrier to like CrowdSurf and he just took out this girl.
00:13:55
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, yeah, he's a big Yeah. I was like I started the last tour I did last year. I was like, I'm forty, I can steal CrowdSurf. We were playing at the Lodge Room. Yeah, and I jumped off stage and the crowd just went and boom, and I just like I thought I broke a rib the whole year now, I like landed on my shoulder, my side and like right on that like concrete floor, and I was like, like it hurt to breathe. I was like, fuck if I broke and we just it wasn't even the beginning of tour. It was like these two little guinea pig shows like experiment, like test dry runs basically like dress rehearsals. And I was like, if I broke my rib before we even start and we're already selling.
00:14:40
Speaker 3: Tickets, could you do the tour the broken rabber?
00:14:43
Speaker 1: Now? Not? Well, not really because because there's so much physical stuff. And then uh, I had a Vancouver show where I crowdsurfed and this kid underneath me put all four fingers at my ass.
00:14:54
Speaker 3: Another kid, wait, wait, wait, okay, logistical issue. How did he get there?
00:15:00
Speaker 2: Well?
00:15:01
Speaker 1: Through my pants?
00:15:02
Speaker 3: Like what you were like, what kind of pants are wearing?
00:15:04
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a tuxedo, So how did he gets past that? No, he wasn't like, it wasn't like actually in my ass. It was like through the pants, like if you just went like this to me right now. So it was like four look, but he was cramming them to like he was touching my ass off.
00:15:20
Speaker 3: That's like a super condom one.
00:15:21
Speaker 1: Then another kid, a middlesecond latter, grabbed my dicken balls as hard as he could. Then another kid gave me a wet willie. This is all within ten seconds. Another kid give me what willie? Another kid grabbed I was throwing hot dogs out in the crowd, grabbed a dirty hot dog off the ground and crammed it into my own mouth, and another kids was strangling me with my bow tie. There's five kids like fucking just like attacking it. And then and then the and then the crowd was like, oh, I get it. And they started drawing and quartering my nimbs in different directions. So I just started doing like street karates, like every ass class bit of adrenalistic. Then I got to the floor. This kid kept getting Willie and I went boom and I punched him in the stuffach and he loved it. He was like yeah, and he just ran and I ran back to the stage and I was like, I'll never crowd so over again.
00:16:13
Speaker 2: It was that.
00:16:15
Speaker 1: No, that was like eight years ago. Let's say Season four tour. This's a long time ago.
00:16:20
Speaker 3: I'm let down. I thought someone got four fingers in your asshole somehow.
00:16:23
Speaker 1: No, it was like through the pants I crammed in between the crack of my hand. But it was it was not pleasant, Yeah, definitely, it was not pleasant.
00:16:35
Speaker 2: With aer Condre.
00:16:45
Speaker 3: With Aer Condre, I'll go to my notes here. Okay, yeah, this is not a show one, but this is a personal bomb. Yes, do you remember this thing called those hoccie mail what and it's kind of devalue now with the chechie But there's a thing called huccie mail.
00:16:58
Speaker 1: I hope it's still on my huccie mail.
00:16:59
Speaker 3: You would make you an erotic story and you give it details.
00:17:04
Speaker 1: But it's AI.
00:17:05
Speaker 3: No, it's not. This is pre AI. This is like I don't know, I don't know twenty ten, twenty twelve, I don't.
00:17:09
Speaker 1: Know who email, But it was computer generated stories.
00:17:12
Speaker 3: It was like I think they had like this mad lib set up and they would plug your these details in but it would get really good. It would ask all these personal details, so the person reading would be like, oh my god, wow. So it was so funny to me.
00:17:22
Speaker 1: So it was mad lib erotic fiction.
00:17:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was really well done, like like who email, who Gmail, Like check it out. I hope it's still up there, but it's it's like it was, you know, super like storytelling and super erotic. So I put my two buds in there and it put a story and I put all these details about there, about their life and you know, their their their apartment and all the shit that would really really ring. And I was laughing so hard. I was like, oh my god, it was really explicitly comment on the face and I was crazy. So then I so then I think I posted I said it to him or something. I forget where I put it. And the response I thought. They think it was really funny, and it was just like this like radio silence, and it was like a week and like everyone was like my two buds, his friends, he's just friends.
00:18:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like it like co workers out of like.
00:18:03
Speaker 3: Your circulated it. They were so okay basically what happened totally tanked. I thought the thing was funny. They didn't talking for a week. They're so disturbed. They sensed. All these people are like, hey, is something wrong with John. I think he's really fucked up. He like took the time to write this incredibly detailed, erotic story about us. It's really explicit and it's like ten pages long. And then every read and everyone was talking about it, and then like people have like, hey, man, are you okay? Are you okay? Something wrong?
00:18:29
Speaker 1: He's like, but you didn't set up that it was Hucci mail.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: You just said I my guys, I've been working on the story. Check it out.
00:18:37
Speaker 1: But were co workers?
00:18:39
Speaker 2: How did you know them?
00:18:40
Speaker 1: No, I mean they're just friends, my buds. Yeah, you were like having a mental.
00:18:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, I lost and I'm like spending my time like late because it's really it's really well done and it's it's very it's really erotic in the pool email. Yeah, and it just keeps going and they bank like four times. You should hope the shit still mind. You should try with your friends see how it goes.
00:19:02
Speaker 1: But your friends all were like inspiring against you, like no, seriously concerned.
00:19:07
Speaker 3: It was like everyone was weird to me. I remember going to party and everyone's really acting weird. I'm like, what's going on? Yeah, I was like this is pretty pre those days.
00:19:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:19:13
Speaker 3: I was basically like socially canceled because ever thought I fucking lost my mind and was like spending like like a year writing this fucking crazy novel about them banging each other and and I know all these and I know all these details, so it's like I like include the tattoos, the guy, the job, the car, and so it's like it's it's really it's really amazing.
00:19:33
Speaker 1: But you didn't, you know, were like, hey this is Succi mao. You just were like, hey, wouldn't you be impressed? I totally get it. I totally get it.
00:19:46
Speaker 3: It didn't work out. Didn't work out, that's fun. It was still online. I should try it, I guess. I don't think will do as good as job as.
00:19:55
Speaker 1: Maybe send it to us and then we'll have like the serie voice, read it, read read.
00:20:01
Speaker 4: Brian moved his tongue slowly down the length of Remy's shaft from the dense hair at its base the slit in the head of his penis. Remy's breathing began to quicken. Oh God, but feels so good, he moaned, running his strong hands through Brian's blonde hair. Brian loved the feeling of his mouth on Remy's cock. It gave him an incredible sense of power and control, but for the right reasons, it connected him with Remy's manhood. Oh, Remy moaned, Oh yeah, God, that feels good. Remy didn't disagree. It was an incredible sensation. Feeling his cock go from the warmth of Remy's ass when he was deep within him to the cool of the water lapping his balls when he pulled out. Each stroke was better than the last, warm, cool, warm, cool. Brian knew he was getting close their breathing became ragged and their louder. Come on, come with me, Remmy urged him, give it to me, deep in me, as deep.
00:21:07
Speaker 1: As you can.
00:21:08
Speaker 4: Brian's strokes got faster and more urgent. He was practically lifting himself out of the water, now pounding himself against Remy. He felt Remy grip his rigid cock with his muscle ring and knew he couldn't hold out any longer. Yes, Mammy, screamed As his second orgasm hit, ben Come spurted out onto his abs, and with a loud groan, Brian exploded, shooting wave after wave of come deep into Remmy. They grasped each other tightly, one in the water, the other the pool's edge. As their orgasms subsided, they smiled, hugged each other, and then slipped into the pool.
00:21:50
Speaker 2: With Arecadre with a Recdre.
00:22:01
Speaker 3: We opened for diamon Nails and that was basically like a tour straight of bombing every night.
00:22:06
Speaker 1: Oh you toured with them, Yeah, this is off the first album and hockey arenas Oh fuck, like that is stress and like we never played arena before. Once the first couple of shows don't go well, You're like, uh.
00:22:19
Speaker 3: Oh dude, it's like that because we knew like, this isn't gonna go and music made to play the smell right, this isn't gonna work in hockey arena, Like are we doing? And then also you know that the comedy you think it's an arena. It's like, oh it's so big. No, don't you can't hear someone.
00:22:31
Speaker 1: Cool that they took you along on your first album?
00:22:34
Speaker 3: Tight? It makes no sense looking back.
00:22:36
Speaker 1: No, that day, I mean has a good taste.
00:22:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a wacky call. But yeah, I remember, like.
00:22:41
Speaker 1: I mean, Prince opened up for the Rolling Stones and he got bottles throwing.
00:22:44
Speaker 3: My girlfriend's dad saw that show way everyone's doing Prince Yeah good And later it's like it was Prince.
00:22:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, people were throwing.
00:22:52
Speaker 3: Glass bottles, they get I got hit with the bagel. Actually that the Atlantic City stop. I got hit and I said, what the fuck is that? I got hit again?
00:23:00
Speaker 1: I was like that was the else?
00:23:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like, what the fuck was every Look? There was like huge ass bagel and I'm like, oh, there's a bagel stand right there.
00:23:05
Speaker 1: What did they like give you any like words of encouragement?
00:23:09
Speaker 4: No?
00:23:09
Speaker 3: No, I got to say the real stand up guys. The second we got there, Trent was like, hey, guys, really happy to have you here. If anyone's addicted to you, I'll fire them. And then and then after like show two, he's like, I've noticed it's not going so well. I'm gonna let you guys use my huge video wall, which is like millions of dollars video wall. And he's like, what if we put like infrared cameras on you guys and we could show the stuff of the wall and yeah, and once we did something to see because we were yeah, you know.
00:23:34
Speaker 1: So he was like supportive and sweet and yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:38
Speaker 3: But you know, you think in this huge arena you can't hear someone how call you. You can hear it and you can see it. Be like if you got blowed this pink motherfucker and you'd be like, oh, it's that guy there in the NASCAR head And then like this.
00:23:48
Speaker 1: If you got this pink motherfucker is crazy.
00:23:52
Speaker 3: He held the two birds out. Okay, I here, Grassnerd. We're in the Florida.
00:24:02
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
00:24:04
Speaker 3: The Secondary Market Tour, Yeah yeah.
00:24:07
Speaker 1: Fuck man, that's tough. How many shows were that was that?
00:24:10
Speaker 3: It was like six or eight or something like that. Yeah, but I guess the Atlantics to anyone, which actually went the best because it was a smaller one of the House of Blues because they did a special venue show. But that's why I got hit with the Bagels, which is fine, bagels are they just sort kind of this orienting that's tough.
00:24:24
Speaker 1: Did you remain friends with.
00:24:26
Speaker 3: We did a song with him twenty twenty one.
00:24:27
Speaker 1: Really nice.
00:24:27
Speaker 3: He's a nice guy, very nice guy. But that was hilarious. We went from playing the smell and like a basements and ship too like to opening like hot.
00:24:34
Speaker 1: That's pretty, that's pretty drastic.
00:24:35
Speaker 3: But we had the moment, you know, the second we played the first song, like, ah, this is why you don't write music like this. It's like David Byrne book, you know, the one where I was like, the music is written for where it's gonna be heard, you know, like he's like he's a foreigner played arenas, so they need mid tempo songs with clear vocals and the and he's like a punk bands played could play fast because.
00:24:53
Speaker 1: They were in the small you know, ball so interesting.
00:24:56
Speaker 3: You really saw like the arena, the the right the band that would you know, we killed it at the smell, but we cannot right.
00:25:02
Speaker 1: You know, when I first I did this movie, it was like a hitting camera prank movie called Bad Trip. And it's narrative, right, So I'm trying to, like originally edit it as fast as the Eric Andre Show, which is like the fastest editing ever and Jeff Tremaine, who was our like Papa Bear producer on it, who co created Jackass direct at all the Jacko's movies. He goes, I'm telling you, guys to meankey Tao. He goes, I'm telling you you can't edit this as fast as it can't be the same pace as Eric Andnry.
00:25:35
Speaker 3: She couldn't take it for two hours or whatever.
00:25:36
Speaker 1: Well, he goes, Physically, the movie is on a big screen. Your eye is taking in a bunch of information on a big screen in a dark room. It's not watching dumb little clips on your iPhone or TV at home. He goes, your eye physically can't keep up with the pace of your show, which is exceptionally fast. He goes, I'm telling you it movie has to be has to move at a slower pace, and the audience has taken narrative information just like Foreigner lyrics, you know what I mean. Like, and I was like, oh man, fuck that, I'm punk rock, Like I wasn't listening to hees. I'm Pumpbrock too. I invented Jackass. I'm telling you. When we went from Jackass to the TV show to the Jackass movies, I had to learn this lesson myself. I'm not trying to control you. I'm telling you. It's an actual fact.
00:26:25
Speaker 3: It's a medium. The principle of you getting raped by a corilla.
00:26:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So he was like but he was basically the David Byrne of comedy. I didn't know you open up for a nice stund so, so he was cool and he was supportive. That's great. I love hearing.
00:26:40
Speaker 3: I can't stand enough good things about the guy.
00:26:41
Speaker 1: I've only heard good things about the guys. I think he's been through it all. And he went to Helen back and.
00:26:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he's also you know, extremely as you expected, extremely professional focused, you know, like yeah professional also like you know, we we played with them in Hell Fast. We got to do the song we did together, and like he's going so he's doing it, like performing at like a hundred ten percent. The whole set where we were watching side tag like holy ship. Yeah, yeah, not anything.
00:27:07
Speaker 1: He's a star.
00:27:08
Speaker 3: It's amazing.
00:27:08
Speaker 1: He's pretty fucking Yeah, there's.
00:27:10
Speaker 3: The reason he is.
00:27:10
Speaker 1: You know, he's a special guy. He's a he's a fucking Oscar Award winning he's a genius. He's a fucking musical genius. And to make industrial music popular is like impossible. Like I used to listen to like cam FDM. I'm like, that's for nobody, Like nobody, nobody listens to that ship, you know what I mean, Like like I do, me and you do. But like the fact that somebody unearthed all you know, remember a Leah the R and B singer the late R and music she loved h nine in Nails and somebody somebody made a super cut of her and interviews just being like, and my favorite band of all time Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor is a genius. Nine is Nails. That's the best band out right now. So like the fact that that guy was able to make industrial music popular. It's crazy to speaks to his prowess songwriting, nineties, A wild time anything else? What other bombs?
00:28:10
Speaker 3: All right, let me look at I wrote down some other bombs. You always bring up like I heard like two seconds of two episodes. You're like, what's the most wasted you want?
00:28:17
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what's the most wasted you were on stitch.
00:28:19
Speaker 3: I am too responsible? I like, you know, because you're wast You were wasted on my show? Yes I was, But but you guys gave you guys gave do that on purpose. You give the like open bar on the backstage. It was like eight bombs.
00:28:29
Speaker 1: But we don't put a gun in your head and say fit pologiz.
00:28:32
Speaker 3: Come on, yeah right, that's like a fucking booby trap on purpose.
00:28:37
Speaker 1: All I'm commenting on is the fact you're like, I'm professional, I only have I wouldn't be No, No, I don't.
00:28:42
Speaker 3: I only have you been drunk? However, like you alway talking about like psychedelics, like I would love more than anything to play a show on on some screams or LSD have you. No, I just had a courtgey for the other guys because they don't wouldn't understand they're not into that stuff. They'd be really pissed at me. I don't think I would.
00:28:57
Speaker 1: The most wastes that you've been on stitche, I don't know.
00:29:00
Speaker 3: Just a lot, just he's drinking. It's not that big a deal.
00:29:02
Speaker 1: I think, like a Primavera is like that's like the common you know, like you're not so ruddid.
00:29:08
Speaker 3: No, sometimes sober sometimes, but like it's not like a big deal. But like, uh but like Primavera, I did, like I.
00:29:13
Speaker 1: Remember we were we were.
00:29:15
Speaker 3: This the second Prema era. It was preview. It is like the most best vestals.
00:29:18
Speaker 1: The way I almost got to play it this year or something happened, oh yeah whatever.
00:29:23
Speaker 3: Well, you know the Spanish like they wake up six pm, they live at home until the're like thirty five. Yeah, and they party all night. They got to figure it out. So it's just it's insane there. So like the vibe there. Uh so like right before we went on that like the guy comes by and he's got all the stuff. So I did like I did like fucking a gorilla finger, like a fucking screamer, and then right went on and then I was like a.
00:29:42
Speaker 1: Gorilla finger like well returns.
00:29:46
Speaker 3: But like you know, it's like when you do like a line of coke that's so big a scream it's a screamer. You know, you're like a you know those you're like like but or they call or they call it a gorilla it looks like it looks like a gorilla finger, you know what I mean, Like it's so big.
00:30:00
Speaker 1: God, So I did.
00:30:02
Speaker 3: I did that and we went on. It was like then we went on stage, like three Am. We got to close the stage like that's the primo sot like thet they give you if you're like, if they really love you, you get to play three AM on that stage, crazy and losing it and the first song because all this ship sounds like it was like feeding back and Jake was fucking furious to kick the ship over and I was like I'm going. I was like yeah, and I was like keep going. And later Jake was really pissing. He's like, you could have died on stage, man, Like I would be fun.
00:30:28
Speaker 1: Yea, what do you do too much coke? You just bear it, bear it down so you can.
00:30:33
Speaker 3: Well, we're playing the show. Once I said you lock in, You're in the show.
00:30:35
Speaker 1: Locked in the show.
00:30:36
Speaker 3: It was a great show. Shows the show. The show is magical. It was like I was young at the time. Now I was so in love with my girlfriend and like the second we got off stage, I took all the molly at once and then I ran out.
00:30:48
Speaker 1: You're trying to get your heart to put it and.
00:30:49
Speaker 3: Then and then I ran out, and then all the kids was like five in the morning. They got around me. I was my girlfriend and they started worhed. They all back.
00:30:57
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, I got golden.
00:31:00
Speaker 3: Yeah. It was those magical like a.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: Bomb that sounds like it.
00:31:06
Speaker 3: Was one of the best that yeah. And then and then kept going and it was just me hearing the sound man. Then it was like eighty am, we're rocking this. I'm like a m a war off and it's like, oh no, no, oh god.
00:31:18
Speaker 1: You know.
00:31:18
Speaker 3: That was terrible at that point, but it was great. It was worth it. It was great.
00:31:23
Speaker 1: When he did drugs, he doesn't yeah, because he had two heart attacks when he's twenty nine years old. Sober ever since he's a chef, but I mean I do.
00:31:30
Speaker 3: I didn't follow his recipe on mine.
00:31:32
Speaker 1: He's a great She's an incredible chef. He's very talented man. But I asked him what when he did drugs, what was it like? He goes, I forget. What he called the gorilla finger reminded me of it. I think he called it a third rail, and I go, well, gater tail. It was a gator tail. I'll tell you what. When I think a third railer, he would do ketamine, meth and coke all in one giant line at work while he was cooking. What he said, he would drink a big gulp of vodka and then do a third rail.
00:32:00
Speaker 3: Well, what, it's horrible. How did you eat food after that?
00:32:06
Speaker 1: He doesn't eat. He was like cooking and he was crazy.
00:32:09
Speaker 3: He did sample them like you know.
00:32:11
Speaker 1: I don't know. He was like a fucking wild maniac back in the day. You know what I mean.
00:32:17
Speaker 3: He's third rail.
00:32:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like working at very stressful kitchens, working like nineteen hour shifts. So he's just like, hey, every drug ever, no problem, that's a new one.
00:32:26
Speaker 3: Third rail.
00:32:28
Speaker 1: What's the gatortail?
00:32:29
Speaker 3: Gator tails? Same thing? A grilla Finger's a really big line. I think xamax mix of coke is zombie dust.
00:32:35
Speaker 1: Okay, I know, mushrooms and Molly's hippie flip yeah, then candy flip, Yeah, drinking Robotestin's robot tripping.
00:32:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, you ever did you ever do that?
00:32:45
Speaker 2: Ship?
00:32:45
Speaker 3: As a kid likes Corseton, you eat the pills. What's Corse, It's like it was easier way to row trips. It's so hard to drink robotestin.
00:32:50
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, I'm from Florida. The kids would chug the robot I never did it.
00:32:54
Speaker 3: I never did it well, so corseedon you could take up. It's super easy. You just eat like forty pills at once. Its rong, so crazy. No, I never did it again, Like, no, that's scary. It slows down time.
00:33:07
Speaker 1: So my friend did it and he goes. I felt like my brain was boiling and I went to the ninth circle of hell. Yeah, and you're like best friends that.
00:33:15
Speaker 2: I was just like, no, thanks.
00:33:16
Speaker 3: We watched Sounds and Lambs and it felt like it took like eight hours. And remember we put on a song and I knew the song was four minutes and I remember just looking at the clock.
00:33:23
Speaker 2: She's like, jeez, so.
00:33:25
Speaker 1: Never get one time. I ate weed with eight nugs. I was like in tenth grade with peanut butter. I just like scooped the nuts. And this is before weed's legal. Yeah, there's no dispensaries, there's no weed gummies. This is back in the day. I'm talking. This is the nineties. I'm like fifteen, and I had this cough left over from a cold. So I was like, I want to get stoned, but I don't want to smoke it. My friend's like, I think you can eat it with peanut butter. So I ate an entire It's probably the most high I've ever been.
00:33:56
Speaker 3: You just eat a straight apparently I think it a cook it or something.
00:33:59
Speaker 1: No, no, he goes to my veran goes the peanut butter extracts the THC in your stomach. Oh, my friend who's like was sixteen and equally ding.
00:34:08
Speaker 3: We had the internet, though kids knew this shit it was.
00:34:11
Speaker 1: It wasn't pre internet, but the Internet wasn't a part of life yet. There was definitely no smartphones. I had no cell phone at the time.
00:34:18
Speaker 3: Way better.
00:34:19
Speaker 1: It was like I had a beeper and like the only computer was in your mom's like room, you know what I mean, Like and you had to kick your mom off the phone to use the Yeah, So it was like those days. So I scooped peanut butter on a knife, on a butter knife and just packed nugs of weed and like just ate like weed at like peanut butter, like and an hour goes by and I was like, man, that was a total fail. Didn't work. And I started playing bass in my friends fucking crazy house and then like I was tripping balls. I was like the most high and fucked up I've ever been in my entire life. I don't know what that's called, but I've smoked uh cloud nine. Like we dipped into bombing fluid and PCP and I was less high then than when I just hate by itself?
00:35:07
Speaker 3: What is the what is the PCP high?
00:35:09
Speaker 1: I was just it's kissing. It's kind of me.
00:35:12
Speaker 3: Oh really, well, hey I'm learning. Man, you had a the fucking Flat Earth book in your waiting room.
00:35:16
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, I don't know what's out there.
00:35:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was whacky. I went to I went to the fucking Index of Bibliography. It was all YouTube links.
00:35:23
Speaker 1: It's like it's like a North Korean prison out there. I don't know what's going on there.
00:35:31
Speaker 3: Oh I found out I'm North Korean actually recently.
00:35:33
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well there it was one country.
00:35:36
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, you know, but it's my whole life, my mom. I even asked him. I'm like, well I'm not We're like South Koreans. We're good. And then uh. They came out later and my mom just never told me.
00:35:44
Speaker 1: I went to the DMZ. Wait really, I went to the DMZ and looked at North Korea through binoculars And that's as close as what is it like when I won't go, I won't do They have they have a fake city that's like a facade. Because they noticed that people were watching, tours were watching, they built this like really make sure like village or whatever. Yeah, and it's like totally like two D city and the rest of it looks like pure misery, pure pure fucking hell. But there is North Korean cuisine that I tried to get. There's like one isn't that much different, But there's this one stew that this woman in South Korea told me to get and I failed it.
00:36:22
Speaker 3: Wait Dan sung saw in La that's North Korean?
00:36:25
Speaker 2: Is it?
00:36:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's supposed to be. It's like a Korean it's a bunker theme restaurant, and I mean it's the same fucking food. But oh uh huh, yeah, that's why they all wait came. There's a big picture of Kim Jong ill in there really, yeah, it's on the wall.
00:36:37
Speaker 1: It's pretty controversial, is it in Korea town.
00:36:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well that's that's like having a.
00:36:44
Speaker 1: Fidel Castro picture at a Cuban restaurant.
00:36:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's actually funny. It's like when you go to a Russia it's like they have guys dressed up as like uh solid and like you can't do that in Germany. There's not like take a photo Hitler. You know, it's like fucking funny. So I don't know who else what does they do?
00:37:01
Speaker 1: I mean, George watching It own more slaves than anybody. He was the richest man in America at the time. He owned more slaves. His teeth were slave teeth. I did find that recently with lead in them. So he was like he was and apparently it's a ginger. Oh really, and he's like as tall as me. That's actually the least important fact everything.
00:37:19
Speaker 3: I just I'm just.
00:37:22
Speaker 1: And redhead. What hold it right there?
00:37:31
Speaker 3: I have a story about asking death gripts for a beer and then I crank about I'll eat Okay, okay, how are you to start eating? Yeah? Easy? I got other bombings, but they're so normal like them. Yeah, okay, I guess everyone well, you know, okay, this is actually anyone in a band. I will understand that if you play Germany you have a bad show, like barely when it comes. All this staff comes up to you and they be like, wow, it must feel so terrible to all the way here and have Nolan comes to a show. I'll just be like, you all sold bad. You must feel awful when you go to sleep.
00:38:05
Speaker 1: I just want to Taiwan and like Taiwanese girls, they have no filter, so it's like the food is really bad. They'll just go to the waiter like, hey, this food is terrible. It tastes like dog food.
00:38:15
Speaker 3: Anyway, they gott you gotta have a taime with accent. Come on, let's come on here, come away with that. I can't. I can't get into the story. I'm not being able to myself. I can't imagine it's not working.
00:38:25
Speaker 1: If you do a black Son, I will do a Taiwanese.
00:38:28
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm doing a black set. Hey percent in my life, I grew up a Comedy Central, and like you know, that's like getting regular.
00:38:35
Speaker 1: Doing the right impression of the old dirty bastard. Okay, so death grips beer.
00:38:45
Speaker 3: Story, Okay, it's a f y f this is I don't know why the story is so funny. People find it very funny, so I tell it all the time. Were we played right before them, and their trailer is right next to the stage and our trailers in the artist zone. So I just really wanted a beer. So I went and through the door and I was like, hey man, we're the band right before you. You know, my trailers really far away. Can I just have one of your beers? And it was the keyboard guy and he was just like uh uh no when he showed the door, Oh no, oh, this isn't really a bombing. But one of the last nighte Shale shows we played this is separately after that tour. It was in their farewell shows in La and we were on stage and like halfway to the set, like like it was just like it was like the it was like an outhouse but like the back of the Chinese restaurant I put together. It was like so bad and I was like, dude, at first, it's like someone farting. I'm like, no, that can't. It was at the Fonda. We're like two songs in and I'm just like I'm just staring at the guys and being like someone shit their fucking pants, Like only a live shit could be this live. It was actually crazier. I'm like, how could a shit be this crazy? And I'm just looking, I'm like sclaring at everyone, like who the fuck shit their pants? Man? And they were playing this thing and then sudden I hear was screaming for the audience and screaming and screamings building, and I looked out and this girl in Daisy Dudes, Red Daisy Dutch is being crowdsurfed, and I fucking like the fire hole was like of just of just you know, of whatever. Yeager ship is straying full blast and were liked, and she got fucking thrown over the barricade, just spraying and spraying and spray Why and then are you?
00:40:13
Speaker 1: And I was like crowdserving why?
00:40:15
Speaker 2: You know?
00:40:15
Speaker 3: I think you're trying to get rid of her. She was spraying so bad. They're like get out of here, you know, and you know, and you know, I'm sure she's waiting there since like eight in the morning, drinking Yeager so so so they spray over her. Yeah, everyone's everyone's just screaming and screaming and there's just you know, liquid ship everyone from.
00:40:34
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, imagine under everyone.
00:40:38
Speaker 3: It was like it was like blade, you know, like everyone's gonna like job. So then I had this moment where I'm like, dude, we hit the brown note.
00:40:45
Speaker 2: But no.
00:40:46
Speaker 3: Then I You're like, well halfway through, I'm like, dude, we're fucking whoa this pants man? And then and then I was like, oh wait, that doesn't make any sense. There's no fucking way, you know, like I don't know. I was like, is it the moment. It's like, in a few seconds anyway, you start thinking logically, they're waiting all day in the sun drinking Yeager. I'm assuming Yeager.
00:41:04
Speaker 1: Why why?
00:41:05
Speaker 3: Why? Why the consistency? You know, like you know, you can.
00:41:08
Speaker 1: Tell what I'm like, how it is. If anyone would go, it would be you.
00:41:15
Speaker 3: Circle something Yeager equivalent to get that consistency. It was like that ship. It was like a not a smoothie, but a milkshake. You know what I'm saying, Like empty stomach.
00:41:25
Speaker 1: Could you imagine that that story haunts her whole life? And then she comes across this podcast episode is like she can't shake it. I don't care. I hope she does hear this podcast.
00:41:34
Speaker 3: These guys are really you got to go to the hospital. She's like, she's touch nails man. She's waiting all day. You know, Rare, just get those tickets. I'm just really shocked a let her back in. I feel like if I was sprained diarrhea they have.
00:41:47
Speaker 1: I'm going home, I'm washing up, and I'm like, I'm quarantining.
00:41:53
Speaker 3: It was so rad though. She's wearing Daisy Dukes though, because because.
00:41:56
Speaker 1: The time, what what city is LA?
00:41:59
Speaker 3: Is that the fun So the tightness of the pants, I think I created that that that hose affect me. You squeezed the hose and it was coming out like one of those the v you know, saying.
00:42:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have like a chicken pot in your dick no, you know, in your peace blits in half in the morning, sometimes not fully like.
00:42:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's terrible.
00:42:20
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. I kind of like it. Peing with Boner, peaking with Boner, your piece ples in half. Yeah, yeah. When I had chicken box, I had a chicken bog in my dick hole and oh your kid, all right, by all right, cool.
00:42:37
Speaker 2: With Avery Condrey.
00:42:38
Speaker 1: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. And iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar, our producer is Bei Wang, Our research assistant is David Carliner. Our editor and sound designers Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg co. Rate us five stars and drop a review on your podcast app a choice
Speaker 1: What's up. It's Eric Andre and this is Bombing, the podcast where I talked to comedians, artists, and other interesting people about the worst bombs of their careers. On today's episode, we have John Famileetti from the band hell Jan and I talk about ass wiping, drugs, the time he came on the Eric Andre Show, more drugs, and a girl shooting her pants. Who's gonna love? Listen to this podcast enjoy.
00:00:23
Speaker 2: Bombing, Balming with Eric Anddre.
00:00:30
Speaker 1: I'm here with John Health from Health and I've known you for baby. I'm just say fifteen years, yeah, something like that. You do the Eric Andre Show I watched.
00:00:40
Speaker 3: I remember my friends are like, dude, you got this guy? Or Condre. They showed me like this, like I hate from a comedy club, like very very.
00:00:45
Speaker 1: Oh really whoa.
00:00:46
Speaker 3: That was when Andrew and Kitao, like right before the start working with.
00:00:50
Speaker 1: You, Yeah, Duke and all those guys say yeah, yeah, jen One.
00:00:53
Speaker 3: It's all fun. We were on the first the pilot episode of Eric Andre. It was never aired, but we were on it.
00:00:58
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm almost none of that aired, and all my friends that were on it were mad at me.
00:01:02
Speaker 3: They caught up that little pieces for that one super super crazy episode you guys did with like a million clips a little bit.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a tale about you that is fucking hilarious Okay, and it's not bombing. It is outrageous.
00:01:16
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:01:16
Speaker 1: Can I kick off with it? Your bombing sory?
00:01:19
Speaker 3: No hit it, no hit it, hit it.
00:01:20
Speaker 1: It's fucking crazy, man. It's what I associate you with the most.
00:01:26
Speaker 3: Okay, do you want it?
00:01:27
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:01:28
Speaker 3: I want it?
00:01:28
Speaker 1: Can you handle it?
00:01:29
Speaker 3: I can handle it?
00:01:30
Speaker 1: Okay. You were living with somebody else in the band at this time? Were you living with another band?
00:01:36
Speaker 3: I've lived with both of the band members at different times. Who I love with Jake and I also love a beach separately.
00:01:41
Speaker 1: I think it was I think he was living with Jake. So you live with Jake and you ran out of you guys, you ran out of toilet paper. You know the story. He ran out of toilet paper, and Jake's like, no, I bought toilet paper last twenty times. I'm not buying it again. I'm not buying it. It's John's turned Toliver and then he like was sneaking toilet paper in because he was indignant that you had to chip into the toilet paper, you know, like total roommate ship. Yeah, and he was sneaking in a roll timom and you go, ah, ship, and you were cooking. You're in the kitchen cooking food and you're, oh, dude, toilet paper nice, they needed that, and you grabbed it and you wiped your ass and you wiped like four weeks of ship out of your ass. You were like, thangs, dude, I needed and then like god knows what you did with it, like chucked it into the garbage get or something like that. I'm like, what in the fucking guantanamobey is that?
00:02:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's.
00:02:39
Speaker 1: Let's let's hear your side of the story.
00:02:42
Speaker 3: Said that is true. I don't I would say four weeks, but that is true. That's a true story.
00:02:46
Speaker 1: You want your ass in the kitchen?
00:02:47
Speaker 2: I did.
00:02:47
Speaker 1: I did well?
00:02:48
Speaker 3: I really, I mean it was on you know, it's like to unwipe your do have an a wipe ass? You know double white? Do you just buy toilet paper and wipe your ass at the back That time was the lean times. Then you know, can't be that lead, Get be that lead.
00:03:01
Speaker 1: That's like that's like third world, like pop a New Guinea like lead and that's like like.
00:03:09
Speaker 3: Our third roommate. He was like you, Johnny know quietly, you're the most discussing person I've ever met.
00:03:14
Speaker 1: So you were like a fill said that.
00:03:16
Speaker 3: No, I'm not a dirty person.
00:03:17
Speaker 1: No, he said, no, wipe not wiping your ass for weeks and then only wiping your ass because you know, somebody.
00:03:23
Speaker 3: I don't think it was weeks, satur days, let's days, maybe a day.
00:03:30
Speaker 1: But also, how are you wiping your ass without toilet paper? How are you wiping your ass?
00:03:36
Speaker 3: You know, it's a long time ago. We have all the evidence, you know, Like, I don't know.
00:03:41
Speaker 1: This.
00:03:42
Speaker 3: I wasn't I guess I just wasn't wiping. You know, man, my apartment just.
00:03:48
Speaker 1: Not wipe and you were just walking around town.
00:03:51
Speaker 3: Maybe it's like you know, you likes you started like clean completion. No, it's a perfect ship.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: I guarantee you.
00:03:57
Speaker 3: But it exists as a concept, but.
00:03:59
Speaker 1: You were not you were not exercising the concept.
00:04:02
Speaker 3: No, No, hey, you know it was a long time ago. It times different. I mean my ass is wipe right now, by the.
00:04:07
Speaker 1: Way, I don't even know if that's true. Yeah, do you buy toilet paper now?
00:04:13
Speaker 3: Costco by the bulk. I never run out, Oh no, now you're wiping. I've all, yeah, I'm a wiper. You know, it's actually funny. I didn't.
00:04:20
Speaker 1: This is I never looked at you the same again after I heard that's okay here, and I kept it inside. I didn't even tell you.
00:04:25
Speaker 3: Another weird wrinkle, like like I never wiped my ass sitting down until I was like twenty two or something. What did you You stood up and wiped it so much better if you're sitting down?
00:04:33
Speaker 2: Why?
00:04:33
Speaker 1: I never curd to me, why did you stand up?
00:04:36
Speaker 3: I just thought that's what you did.
00:04:38
Speaker 1: You would ship then stand ass and then drop it in the toilet. Yeah, why naturally?
00:04:45
Speaker 3: Naturally that's how I developed it. I didn't. I didn't realize it was actually guys in the band they're like, you wipe yours like you know, it's much better if you sit down, And I was like really, you know, I'm like, whoa, this is way better, so much cleaner. So I think at that time I was only a stand up wiper.
00:05:00
Speaker 1: Did your parents potty train you to stand and wipe? Well? You know, where did it come from? You know?
00:05:06
Speaker 3: I don't know because I remember being a kid. You know your your parents will literally wipe your ass, you know your yeah, yeah, your kid. But you yelled here you dinner, You yell like I need something to come and wipe your ass.
00:05:14
Speaker 1: And then you're like sixteen, no, no on.
00:05:19
Speaker 3: Is sorry, but you start doing yourself. And he was just I always stood up? Whe did you always wipe sitting down? Yes, okay, that's good.
00:05:27
Speaker 2: It's good for you.
00:05:29
Speaker 3: Obviously, and you went this is another question. We found this out to see back then we found a half half the band wiped back to front, back to the front. We discussed, I know, but they did it. We didn't believe them. They will do they do.
00:05:40
Speaker 1: But why the ball?
00:05:42
Speaker 3: That's also yes, I know, but they said, hey, it doesn't matter if you have a pussy. But still it's still towards your ball. It's still less proper.
00:05:47
Speaker 1: It might be less of a risk than of but like you're you're bringing ship towards the back of your ball.
00:05:55
Speaker 3: I just wiped standing up because that's how I thought you did it, you know, but anyway, I don't.
00:05:58
Speaker 1: Well you barely. You didn't wipe for weeks. That's animals like a very limited time. It was a whild that was the two thousands.
00:06:03
Speaker 3: Different time. You know, we don't know what we didn't know really different time. You know, I'm not I always just walking around a nasty ass.
00:06:09
Speaker 1: I thought like for years you were walking that was just that was a ship.
00:06:13
Speaker 3: That was just like one off, one isolated incident of a nasty It's.
00:06:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not.
00:06:18
Speaker 3: Come on, I got more sense. We all want to be itchy all the time.
00:06:22
Speaker 4: It.
00:06:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you had ship on your asses.
00:06:24
Speaker 2: I thought you had.
00:06:25
Speaker 1: I thought you were like a ship ass kind of guy, Like you had tons of ship in your ass for life.
00:06:33
Speaker 3: That'd be so noticeable. Dude, you just never wiped your ass.
00:06:36
Speaker 1: It would smell. Yeah, it'd be odorous.
00:06:38
Speaker 3: You don't smell great.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: No, I mean I'm not. I don't want my nose in your pants. Yeah.
00:06:44
Speaker 3: Fact, if if we were a doggy style or something, yeah doggies. Yeah, yeah, that's real though. It actually back in clean completion. I know a friend, so he did this vegan girl and she's like, she's like, she's like, I don't want my ass. I do clean completion. And he's like, what's that. She's like, well, she's like, if you have a proper diet. You have a perfect shit clean completion, which I've had before.
00:07:00
Speaker 1: You drive vegan is a proper diet, and I don't think that. I don't think that's true.
00:07:03
Speaker 3: Well, you get sick and I have diarrhect But let's say you have a perfect ship because it's happened, you know, you fly it and there's literally nothing there once in a blue moon, you know, So she did.
00:07:12
Speaker 1: That wipe every time. I wouldn't even know.
00:07:14
Speaker 3: You wouldn't even Well, don't you look at it? What if you don't, there's just no look what do you want to stop?
00:07:18
Speaker 1: When I was a little kid, maybe maybe.
00:07:21
Speaker 3: Okay, you don't look at it when you wow? Never do you just trust yourself? Like three you.
00:07:25
Speaker 1: Might Well, I have a total toilet.
00:07:28
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I like those are wonderful.
00:07:30
Speaker 1: I got the whole thing. I got the fucking the Japanese squirter.
00:07:35
Speaker 3: It was amazing.
00:07:36
Speaker 1: Then I do a wet wipe. Then I do a wipe.
00:07:39
Speaker 3: It is ridiculous.
00:07:41
Speaker 1: And in the shower, I have the hand shower and shower the assle.
00:07:44
Speaker 3: This is ridiculous.
00:07:44
Speaker 1: I have one of the cleanest assholes in show business.
00:07:46
Speaker 3: It's absurd.
00:07:47
Speaker 1: It's like me and you on the assholes red room. On the hygiene, I have adet but whole hygiene, but I.
00:07:55
Speaker 3: Don't use it though. I prefer to go dry.
00:07:56
Speaker 1: Why.
00:07:57
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's mortal, earthy. It's just like I don't know, like it's just it's barns were there, Like, yes, I don't have this pomp and circumstance. I got to wash my hands now.
00:08:05
Speaker 1: So you don't wash your hands out, saying I shook your hand on the way.
00:08:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wash my hands. I'm a normal person, but just like you know, I.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: Don't think you are. I don't have a fun far from normal.
00:08:13
Speaker 3: I got the laptop here, You're like, wipe my hand?
00:08:15
Speaker 1: Come on, will you wipe your hands on?
00:08:16
Speaker 4: What?
00:08:17
Speaker 1: Tell? But no, you're very You're not cleanly.
00:08:21
Speaker 3: I'm not no, no, no, I'm clean a lot.
00:08:23
Speaker 1: Do you wash your hands out? Do you take a poop? Poop? Yes, a peep?
00:08:26
Speaker 3: Not really?
00:08:27
Speaker 1: Do you wash your hands before you eat?
00:08:28
Speaker 3: Sometimes?
00:08:29
Speaker 1: Yes?
00:08:29
Speaker 3: Sometimes you know what you're.
00:08:30
Speaker 1: You probably never get sick constantly. I have a hand sanitizer on me. I would think you're gonna use it right now. I'm thinking about it.
00:08:36
Speaker 3: It's ridiculous, that's bad. That's a bad way to live.
00:08:38
Speaker 1: No, you know what.
00:08:39
Speaker 3: Here's the thing, though, I'll do this.
00:08:41
Speaker 1: I started doing this all the time. I stopped getting sick all the time.
00:08:43
Speaker 3: Oh okay, well I don't get sick.
00:08:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you have so many germs in you, you're like a fortress. Okay, tell me some bombing stories.
00:08:55
Speaker 3: Oh man, So okay we did this is just and I'm sure you've done. Do you ever do something you get hard for these corporate gigs?
00:09:00
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:09:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've definitely done gigs where I'm like, I'm not supposed to be here.
00:09:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, we did. It was for Spotify Germany. It's probably Spotify. No its boat. It was a boat, no bows and Spotify private party, right, And they weren't allowed to be in there, so they kept us in this.
00:09:13
Speaker 1: Like shed who wasn't allowed to be in there?
00:09:14
Speaker 3: We they didn't want us in the party except for the performance, so they just so we like, yeah, we didn't couch. Well, they had to set up our gear and like rush us out, like got four guests. She was like come on, I get over here, good fear. And then they had to sit back and we sat there for like three hours in this tiny room They're like okay, go go gole. So they get there and we go and like the room was so tiny. It was like this and it's like low ceilings and it was like all white people like in suits and they were like forty feet from the stage in this room just all open and it was so crowded. We like I played in behind a pillar and we just played the set of like you know sound at the time. It was just all this noise and like trying our best to it is just horrified and I'm like, I'm like, what asshole looked us?
00:09:53
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why did you have us?
00:09:54
Speaker 3: And the second or done, they just rushed us out and it was bizarre and they immediately put us on a bus and got us off off the promises. Yeah, this weird, like mansion all the ship like that, And I'm like, like what intern got fired for that? Yeah, there's nothing that deep about the story. It's just it's weird.
00:10:08
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:10:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, well get the page. I can get the funk out of there.
00:10:11
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:11
Speaker 1: It was a band split payment four ways. I never understand how it bendes.
00:10:15
Speaker 3: Was only three guys now, but yeah three do.
00:10:17
Speaker 1: You split it evenly?
00:10:18
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:10:18
Speaker 1: Tour does it have to be like that or a the beam fights.
00:10:21
Speaker 3: No, I doesn't have to. We just didn't ever work it from the beginning. We didn't plan on doing it, so we didn't like work out. But it's not on tour, it's like all this it's the same work for everyone. We played Lallapalooza in the rain and uh and this is this is what was numberable because it was it was it was we had to open the day with the first bend of the day and it was raining, so there was like hardly anyone there and we were trying our best to go and and what happened was it was so wet. I was trying to rock out. My right foot hit this like puddle water and then I just slid going. I kept going. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop, and Jake was singing and he turned to me and out of nowhere, I was doing the splits like screaming, and he thought his head that I was just like possessed by the moment though I was like, you were like rocking like fucking James Brown or something like. He said, laughings are hard. He couldn't sick. I like tore my girls.
00:11:08
Speaker 1: It's terrible but you thought you were like over and you were like an.
00:11:16
Speaker 3: Aggay, Yeah, it's funny. Bomb Bomby stories aren't that long?
00:11:22
Speaker 1: Gotta be lock whatever, that's funny.
00:11:24
Speaker 3: Uh oh actually.
00:11:25
Speaker 1: I thought you got like electrocuted on stage or something. No, is that the worst injury you've had on stage? How did you play the rest of the show?
00:11:33
Speaker 3: Oh?
00:11:34
Speaker 1: I just I was just like, you know, yeah, yeah, adrenalin.
00:11:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're because you're in show mode, like you know, like everyone's like, oh, would you shoot your pants a stage? Like no, like you immediately lock in like it.
00:11:42
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:11:42
Speaker 3: The adrenaline, the show mode.
00:11:44
Speaker 1: Adrenaline protects you from the pain that you're gonna This isn't really afterwards you feel pain. Oh, totally, you feel pain. I had a fucking I just played Alaska.
00:11:53
Speaker 3: I don't want to in the winter.
00:11:55
Speaker 2: No.
00:11:56
Speaker 1: I played in like June or July, and like what was it ampler like a sp Like I jumped onto my desk, it broke in half and the sampler went because in the first ten seconds of the show, like the very first thing I did, and.
00:12:15
Speaker 3: Like is that on video?
00:12:17
Speaker 1: Probably? Yeah, And it just like the whole thing clocked me in the temple and it was so painful, and it was like the very first five seconds of the show, so the whole show I had like a Fred Flintstone lump and a massive headache. But it wasn't that bad. I knew it was gonna hurt way worse, like an hour after the show when the adrenaline wears off. But even with the adrenaline, it was. It was fucking agony. And I'm so mad at my tour manager because I was like, we just needed it for sound check, and I was like, please don't forget to take that sampler off the fucking I know it's gonna catapult, and.
00:12:54
Speaker 3: Oh you're the table was supposed to break.
00:12:56
Speaker 1: The table was supposed to break. Gig table. Yeah, the table was supposed to be the death, just supposed to break, but the sampler was supposed to not be there. At that time. I was just doing like a tech checks out, yeah yeah, and uh uh fuck man, it was so pain.
00:13:11
Speaker 3: I'm sure you already probably didn't oother podcast because you do all the crowd ship we're running around, so I never just fucking just go terribly. This doesn't work all the time.
00:13:20
Speaker 1: One time I jumped off stage and this kid went no, and like his finger fully went into my eyeball like in like yeah, like my eyeball squished back into my brain because his finger like broke my fall. Oh it was rough.
00:13:39
Speaker 2: That was rough.
00:13:40
Speaker 1: That was That was another like very beginning of this day. It was like like back in the blades, but it's so painful.
00:13:47
Speaker 3: Well, that was at FYF. I remember it was Tim and Eric and uh where him went over the thing the barrier to like CrowdSurf and he just took out this girl.
00:13:55
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, yeah, he's a big Yeah. I was like I started the last tour I did last year. I was like, I'm forty, I can steal CrowdSurf. We were playing at the Lodge Room. Yeah, and I jumped off stage and the crowd just went and boom, and I just like I thought I broke a rib the whole year now, I like landed on my shoulder, my side and like right on that like concrete floor, and I was like, like it hurt to breathe. I was like, fuck if I broke and we just it wasn't even the beginning of tour. It was like these two little guinea pig shows like experiment, like test dry runs basically like dress rehearsals. And I was like, if I broke my rib before we even start and we're already selling.
00:14:40
Speaker 3: Tickets, could you do the tour the broken rabber?
00:14:43
Speaker 1: Now? Not? Well, not really because because there's so much physical stuff. And then uh, I had a Vancouver show where I crowdsurfed and this kid underneath me put all four fingers at my ass.
00:14:54
Speaker 3: Another kid, wait, wait, wait, okay, logistical issue. How did he get there?
00:15:00
Speaker 2: Well?
00:15:01
Speaker 1: Through my pants?
00:15:02
Speaker 3: Like what you were like, what kind of pants are wearing?
00:15:04
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a tuxedo, So how did he gets past that? No, he wasn't like, it wasn't like actually in my ass. It was like through the pants, like if you just went like this to me right now. So it was like four look, but he was cramming them to like he was touching my ass off.
00:15:20
Speaker 3: That's like a super condom one.
00:15:21
Speaker 1: Then another kid, a middlesecond latter, grabbed my dicken balls as hard as he could. Then another kid gave me a wet willie. This is all within ten seconds. Another kid give me what willie? Another kid grabbed I was throwing hot dogs out in the crowd, grabbed a dirty hot dog off the ground and crammed it into my own mouth, and another kids was strangling me with my bow tie. There's five kids like fucking just like attacking it. And then and then the and then the crowd was like, oh, I get it. And they started drawing and quartering my nimbs in different directions. So I just started doing like street karates, like every ass class bit of adrenalistic. Then I got to the floor. This kid kept getting Willie and I went boom and I punched him in the stuffach and he loved it. He was like yeah, and he just ran and I ran back to the stage and I was like, I'll never crowd so over again.
00:16:13
Speaker 2: It was that.
00:16:15
Speaker 1: No, that was like eight years ago. Let's say Season four tour. This's a long time ago.
00:16:20
Speaker 3: I'm let down. I thought someone got four fingers in your asshole somehow.
00:16:23
Speaker 1: No, it was like through the pants I crammed in between the crack of my hand. But it was it was not pleasant, Yeah, definitely, it was not pleasant.
00:16:35
Speaker 2: With aer Condre.
00:16:45
Speaker 3: With Aer Condre, I'll go to my notes here. Okay, yeah, this is not a show one, but this is a personal bomb. Yes, do you remember this thing called those hoccie mail what and it's kind of devalue now with the chechie But there's a thing called huccie mail.
00:16:58
Speaker 1: I hope it's still on my huccie mail.
00:16:59
Speaker 3: You would make you an erotic story and you give it details.
00:17:04
Speaker 1: But it's AI.
00:17:05
Speaker 3: No, it's not. This is pre AI. This is like I don't know, I don't know twenty ten, twenty twelve, I don't.
00:17:09
Speaker 1: Know who email, But it was computer generated stories.
00:17:12
Speaker 3: It was like I think they had like this mad lib set up and they would plug your these details in but it would get really good. It would ask all these personal details, so the person reading would be like, oh my god, wow. So it was so funny to me.
00:17:22
Speaker 1: So it was mad lib erotic fiction.
00:17:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was really well done, like like who email, who Gmail, Like check it out. I hope it's still up there, but it's it's like it was, you know, super like storytelling and super erotic. So I put my two buds in there and it put a story and I put all these details about there, about their life and you know, their their their apartment and all the shit that would really really ring. And I was laughing so hard. I was like, oh my god, it was really explicitly comment on the face and I was crazy. So then I so then I think I posted I said it to him or something. I forget where I put it. And the response I thought. They think it was really funny, and it was just like this like radio silence, and it was like a week and like everyone was like my two buds, his friends, he's just friends.
00:18:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like it like co workers out of like.
00:18:03
Speaker 3: Your circulated it. They were so okay basically what happened totally tanked. I thought the thing was funny. They didn't talking for a week. They're so disturbed. They sensed. All these people are like, hey, is something wrong with John. I think he's really fucked up. He like took the time to write this incredibly detailed, erotic story about us. It's really explicit and it's like ten pages long. And then every read and everyone was talking about it, and then like people have like, hey, man, are you okay? Are you okay? Something wrong?
00:18:29
Speaker 1: He's like, but you didn't set up that it was Hucci mail.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: You just said I my guys, I've been working on the story. Check it out.
00:18:37
Speaker 1: But were co workers?
00:18:39
Speaker 2: How did you know them?
00:18:40
Speaker 1: No, I mean they're just friends, my buds. Yeah, you were like having a mental.
00:18:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, I lost and I'm like spending my time like late because it's really it's really well done and it's it's very it's really erotic in the pool email. Yeah, and it just keeps going and they bank like four times. You should hope the shit still mind. You should try with your friends see how it goes.
00:19:02
Speaker 1: But your friends all were like inspiring against you, like no, seriously concerned.
00:19:07
Speaker 3: It was like everyone was weird to me. I remember going to party and everyone's really acting weird. I'm like, what's going on? Yeah, I was like this is pretty pre those days.
00:19:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:19:13
Speaker 3: I was basically like socially canceled because ever thought I fucking lost my mind and was like spending like like a year writing this fucking crazy novel about them banging each other and and I know all these and I know all these details, so it's like I like include the tattoos, the guy, the job, the car, and so it's like it's it's really it's really amazing.
00:19:33
Speaker 1: But you didn't, you know, were like, hey this is Succi mao. You just were like, hey, wouldn't you be impressed? I totally get it. I totally get it.
00:19:46
Speaker 3: It didn't work out. Didn't work out, that's fun. It was still online. I should try it, I guess. I don't think will do as good as job as.
00:19:55
Speaker 1: Maybe send it to us and then we'll have like the serie voice, read it, read read.
00:20:01
Speaker 4: Brian moved his tongue slowly down the length of Remy's shaft from the dense hair at its base the slit in the head of his penis. Remy's breathing began to quicken. Oh God, but feels so good, he moaned, running his strong hands through Brian's blonde hair. Brian loved the feeling of his mouth on Remy's cock. It gave him an incredible sense of power and control, but for the right reasons, it connected him with Remy's manhood. Oh, Remy moaned, Oh yeah, God, that feels good. Remy didn't disagree. It was an incredible sensation. Feeling his cock go from the warmth of Remy's ass when he was deep within him to the cool of the water lapping his balls when he pulled out. Each stroke was better than the last, warm, cool, warm, cool. Brian knew he was getting close their breathing became ragged and their louder. Come on, come with me, Remmy urged him, give it to me, deep in me, as deep.
00:21:07
Speaker 1: As you can.
00:21:08
Speaker 4: Brian's strokes got faster and more urgent. He was practically lifting himself out of the water, now pounding himself against Remy. He felt Remy grip his rigid cock with his muscle ring and knew he couldn't hold out any longer. Yes, Mammy, screamed As his second orgasm hit, ben Come spurted out onto his abs, and with a loud groan, Brian exploded, shooting wave after wave of come deep into Remmy. They grasped each other tightly, one in the water, the other the pool's edge. As their orgasms subsided, they smiled, hugged each other, and then slipped into the pool.
00:21:50
Speaker 2: With Arecadre with a Recdre.
00:22:01
Speaker 3: We opened for diamon Nails and that was basically like a tour straight of bombing every night.
00:22:06
Speaker 1: Oh you toured with them, Yeah, this is off the first album and hockey arenas Oh fuck, like that is stress and like we never played arena before. Once the first couple of shows don't go well, You're like, uh.
00:22:19
Speaker 3: Oh dude, it's like that because we knew like, this isn't gonna go and music made to play the smell right, this isn't gonna work in hockey arena, Like are we doing? And then also you know that the comedy you think it's an arena. It's like, oh it's so big. No, don't you can't hear someone.
00:22:31
Speaker 1: Cool that they took you along on your first album?
00:22:34
Speaker 3: Tight? It makes no sense looking back.
00:22:36
Speaker 1: No, that day, I mean has a good taste.
00:22:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a wacky call. But yeah, I remember, like.
00:22:41
Speaker 1: I mean, Prince opened up for the Rolling Stones and he got bottles throwing.
00:22:44
Speaker 3: My girlfriend's dad saw that show way everyone's doing Prince Yeah good And later it's like it was Prince.
00:22:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, people were throwing.
00:22:52
Speaker 3: Glass bottles, they get I got hit with the bagel. Actually that the Atlantic City stop. I got hit and I said, what the fuck is that? I got hit again?
00:23:00
Speaker 1: I was like that was the else?
00:23:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like, what the fuck was every Look? There was like huge ass bagel and I'm like, oh, there's a bagel stand right there.
00:23:05
Speaker 1: What did they like give you any like words of encouragement?
00:23:09
Speaker 4: No?
00:23:09
Speaker 3: No, I got to say the real stand up guys. The second we got there, Trent was like, hey, guys, really happy to have you here. If anyone's addicted to you, I'll fire them. And then and then after like show two, he's like, I've noticed it's not going so well. I'm gonna let you guys use my huge video wall, which is like millions of dollars video wall. And he's like, what if we put like infrared cameras on you guys and we could show the stuff of the wall and yeah, and once we did something to see because we were yeah, you know.
00:23:34
Speaker 1: So he was like supportive and sweet and yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:38
Speaker 3: But you know, you think in this huge arena you can't hear someone how call you. You can hear it and you can see it. Be like if you got blowed this pink motherfucker and you'd be like, oh, it's that guy there in the NASCAR head And then like this.
00:23:48
Speaker 1: If you got this pink motherfucker is crazy.
00:23:52
Speaker 3: He held the two birds out. Okay, I here, Grassnerd. We're in the Florida.
00:24:02
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
00:24:04
Speaker 3: The Secondary Market Tour, Yeah yeah.
00:24:07
Speaker 1: Fuck man, that's tough. How many shows were that was that?
00:24:10
Speaker 3: It was like six or eight or something like that. Yeah, but I guess the Atlantics to anyone, which actually went the best because it was a smaller one of the House of Blues because they did a special venue show. But that's why I got hit with the Bagels, which is fine, bagels are they just sort kind of this orienting that's tough.
00:24:24
Speaker 1: Did you remain friends with.
00:24:26
Speaker 3: We did a song with him twenty twenty one.
00:24:27
Speaker 1: Really nice.
00:24:27
Speaker 3: He's a nice guy, very nice guy. But that was hilarious. We went from playing the smell and like a basements and ship too like to opening like hot.
00:24:34
Speaker 1: That's pretty, that's pretty drastic.
00:24:35
Speaker 3: But we had the moment, you know, the second we played the first song, like, ah, this is why you don't write music like this. It's like David Byrne book, you know, the one where I was like, the music is written for where it's gonna be heard, you know, like he's like he's a foreigner played arenas, so they need mid tempo songs with clear vocals and the and he's like a punk bands played could play fast because.
00:24:53
Speaker 1: They were in the small you know, ball so interesting.
00:24:56
Speaker 3: You really saw like the arena, the the right the band that would you know, we killed it at the smell, but we cannot right.
00:25:02
Speaker 1: You know, when I first I did this movie, it was like a hitting camera prank movie called Bad Trip. And it's narrative, right, So I'm trying to, like originally edit it as fast as the Eric Andre Show, which is like the fastest editing ever and Jeff Tremaine, who was our like Papa Bear producer on it, who co created Jackass direct at all the Jacko's movies. He goes, I'm telling you, guys to meankey Tao. He goes, I'm telling you you can't edit this as fast as it can't be the same pace as Eric Andnry.
00:25:35
Speaker 3: She couldn't take it for two hours or whatever.
00:25:36
Speaker 1: Well, he goes, Physically, the movie is on a big screen. Your eye is taking in a bunch of information on a big screen in a dark room. It's not watching dumb little clips on your iPhone or TV at home. He goes, your eye physically can't keep up with the pace of your show, which is exceptionally fast. He goes, I'm telling you it movie has to be has to move at a slower pace, and the audience has taken narrative information just like Foreigner lyrics, you know what I mean. Like, and I was like, oh man, fuck that, I'm punk rock, Like I wasn't listening to hees. I'm Pumpbrock too. I invented Jackass. I'm telling you. When we went from Jackass to the TV show to the Jackass movies, I had to learn this lesson myself. I'm not trying to control you. I'm telling you. It's an actual fact.
00:26:25
Speaker 3: It's a medium. The principle of you getting raped by a corilla.
00:26:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So he was like but he was basically the David Byrne of comedy. I didn't know you open up for a nice stund so, so he was cool and he was supportive. That's great. I love hearing.
00:26:40
Speaker 3: I can't stand enough good things about the guy.
00:26:41
Speaker 1: I've only heard good things about the guys. I think he's been through it all. And he went to Helen back and.
00:26:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he's also you know, extremely as you expected, extremely professional focused, you know, like yeah professional also like you know, we we played with them in Hell Fast. We got to do the song we did together, and like he's going so he's doing it, like performing at like a hundred ten percent. The whole set where we were watching side tag like holy ship. Yeah, yeah, not anything.
00:27:07
Speaker 1: He's a star.
00:27:08
Speaker 3: It's amazing.
00:27:08
Speaker 1: He's pretty fucking Yeah, there's.
00:27:10
Speaker 3: The reason he is.
00:27:10
Speaker 1: You know, he's a special guy. He's a he's a fucking Oscar Award winning he's a genius. He's a fucking musical genius. And to make industrial music popular is like impossible. Like I used to listen to like cam FDM. I'm like, that's for nobody, Like nobody, nobody listens to that ship, you know what I mean, Like like I do, me and you do. But like the fact that somebody unearthed all you know, remember a Leah the R and B singer the late R and music she loved h nine in Nails and somebody somebody made a super cut of her and interviews just being like, and my favorite band of all time Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor is a genius. Nine is Nails. That's the best band out right now. So like the fact that that guy was able to make industrial music popular. It's crazy to speaks to his prowess songwriting, nineties, A wild time anything else? What other bombs?
00:28:10
Speaker 3: All right, let me look at I wrote down some other bombs. You always bring up like I heard like two seconds of two episodes. You're like, what's the most wasted you want?
00:28:17
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what's the most wasted you were on stitch.
00:28:19
Speaker 3: I am too responsible? I like, you know, because you're wast You were wasted on my show? Yes I was, But but you guys gave you guys gave do that on purpose. You give the like open bar on the backstage. It was like eight bombs.
00:28:29
Speaker 1: But we don't put a gun in your head and say fit pologiz.
00:28:32
Speaker 3: Come on, yeah right, that's like a fucking booby trap on purpose.
00:28:37
Speaker 1: All I'm commenting on is the fact you're like, I'm professional, I only have I wouldn't be No, No, I don't.
00:28:42
Speaker 3: I only have you been drunk? However, like you alway talking about like psychedelics, like I would love more than anything to play a show on on some screams or LSD have you. No, I just had a courtgey for the other guys because they don't wouldn't understand they're not into that stuff. They'd be really pissed at me. I don't think I would.
00:28:57
Speaker 1: The most wastes that you've been on stitche, I don't know.
00:29:00
Speaker 3: Just a lot, just he's drinking. It's not that big a deal.
00:29:02
Speaker 1: I think, like a Primavera is like that's like the common you know, like you're not so ruddid.
00:29:08
Speaker 3: No, sometimes sober sometimes, but like it's not like a big deal. But like, uh but like Primavera, I did, like I.
00:29:13
Speaker 1: Remember we were we were.
00:29:15
Speaker 3: This the second Prema era. It was preview. It is like the most best vestals.
00:29:18
Speaker 1: The way I almost got to play it this year or something happened, oh yeah whatever.
00:29:23
Speaker 3: Well, you know the Spanish like they wake up six pm, they live at home until the're like thirty five. Yeah, and they party all night. They got to figure it out. So it's just it's insane there. So like the vibe there. Uh so like right before we went on that like the guy comes by and he's got all the stuff. So I did like I did like fucking a gorilla finger, like a fucking screamer, and then right went on and then I was like a.
00:29:42
Speaker 1: Gorilla finger like well returns.
00:29:46
Speaker 3: But like you know, it's like when you do like a line of coke that's so big a scream it's a screamer. You know, you're like a you know those you're like like but or they call or they call it a gorilla it looks like it looks like a gorilla finger, you know what I mean, Like it's so big.
00:30:00
Speaker 1: God, So I did.
00:30:02
Speaker 3: I did that and we went on. It was like then we went on stage, like three Am. We got to close the stage like that's the primo sot like thet they give you if you're like, if they really love you, you get to play three AM on that stage, crazy and losing it and the first song because all this ship sounds like it was like feeding back and Jake was fucking furious to kick the ship over and I was like I'm going. I was like yeah, and I was like keep going. And later Jake was really pissing. He's like, you could have died on stage, man, Like I would be fun.
00:30:28
Speaker 1: Yea, what do you do too much coke? You just bear it, bear it down so you can.
00:30:33
Speaker 3: Well, we're playing the show. Once I said you lock in, You're in the show.
00:30:35
Speaker 1: Locked in the show.
00:30:36
Speaker 3: It was a great show. Shows the show. The show is magical. It was like I was young at the time. Now I was so in love with my girlfriend and like the second we got off stage, I took all the molly at once and then I ran out.
00:30:48
Speaker 1: You're trying to get your heart to put it and.
00:30:49
Speaker 3: Then and then I ran out, and then all the kids was like five in the morning. They got around me. I was my girlfriend and they started worhed. They all back.
00:30:57
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, I got golden.
00:31:00
Speaker 3: Yeah. It was those magical like a.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: Bomb that sounds like it.
00:31:06
Speaker 3: Was one of the best that yeah. And then and then kept going and it was just me hearing the sound man. Then it was like eighty am, we're rocking this. I'm like a m a war off and it's like, oh no, no, oh god.
00:31:18
Speaker 1: You know.
00:31:18
Speaker 3: That was terrible at that point, but it was great. It was worth it. It was great.
00:31:23
Speaker 1: When he did drugs, he doesn't yeah, because he had two heart attacks when he's twenty nine years old. Sober ever since he's a chef, but I mean I do.
00:31:30
Speaker 3: I didn't follow his recipe on mine.
00:31:32
Speaker 1: He's a great She's an incredible chef. He's very talented man. But I asked him what when he did drugs, what was it like? He goes, I forget. What he called the gorilla finger reminded me of it. I think he called it a third rail, and I go, well, gater tail. It was a gator tail. I'll tell you what. When I think a third railer, he would do ketamine, meth and coke all in one giant line at work while he was cooking. What he said, he would drink a big gulp of vodka and then do a third rail.
00:32:00
Speaker 3: Well, what, it's horrible. How did you eat food after that?
00:32:06
Speaker 1: He doesn't eat. He was like cooking and he was crazy.
00:32:09
Speaker 3: He did sample them like you know.
00:32:11
Speaker 1: I don't know. He was like a fucking wild maniac back in the day. You know what I mean.
00:32:17
Speaker 3: He's third rail.
00:32:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like working at very stressful kitchens, working like nineteen hour shifts. So he's just like, hey, every drug ever, no problem, that's a new one.
00:32:26
Speaker 3: Third rail.
00:32:28
Speaker 1: What's the gatortail?
00:32:29
Speaker 3: Gator tails? Same thing? A grilla Finger's a really big line. I think xamax mix of coke is zombie dust.
00:32:35
Speaker 1: Okay, I know, mushrooms and Molly's hippie flip yeah, then candy flip, Yeah, drinking Robotestin's robot tripping.
00:32:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, you ever did you ever do that?
00:32:45
Speaker 2: Ship?
00:32:45
Speaker 3: As a kid likes Corseton, you eat the pills. What's Corse, It's like it was easier way to row trips. It's so hard to drink robotestin.
00:32:50
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, I'm from Florida. The kids would chug the robot I never did it.
00:32:54
Speaker 3: I never did it well, so corseedon you could take up. It's super easy. You just eat like forty pills at once. Its rong, so crazy. No, I never did it again, Like, no, that's scary. It slows down time.
00:33:07
Speaker 1: So my friend did it and he goes. I felt like my brain was boiling and I went to the ninth circle of hell. Yeah, and you're like best friends that.
00:33:15
Speaker 2: I was just like, no, thanks.
00:33:16
Speaker 3: We watched Sounds and Lambs and it felt like it took like eight hours. And remember we put on a song and I knew the song was four minutes and I remember just looking at the clock.
00:33:23
Speaker 2: She's like, jeez, so.
00:33:25
Speaker 1: Never get one time. I ate weed with eight nugs. I was like in tenth grade with peanut butter. I just like scooped the nuts. And this is before weed's legal. Yeah, there's no dispensaries, there's no weed gummies. This is back in the day. I'm talking. This is the nineties. I'm like fifteen, and I had this cough left over from a cold. So I was like, I want to get stoned, but I don't want to smoke it. My friend's like, I think you can eat it with peanut butter. So I ate an entire It's probably the most high I've ever been.
00:33:56
Speaker 3: You just eat a straight apparently I think it a cook it or something.
00:33:59
Speaker 1: No, no, he goes to my veran goes the peanut butter extracts the THC in your stomach. Oh, my friend who's like was sixteen and equally ding.
00:34:08
Speaker 3: We had the internet, though kids knew this shit it was.
00:34:11
Speaker 1: It wasn't pre internet, but the Internet wasn't a part of life yet. There was definitely no smartphones. I had no cell phone at the time.
00:34:18
Speaker 3: Way better.
00:34:19
Speaker 1: It was like I had a beeper and like the only computer was in your mom's like room, you know what I mean, Like and you had to kick your mom off the phone to use the Yeah, So it was like those days. So I scooped peanut butter on a knife, on a butter knife and just packed nugs of weed and like just ate like weed at like peanut butter, like and an hour goes by and I was like, man, that was a total fail. Didn't work. And I started playing bass in my friends fucking crazy house and then like I was tripping balls. I was like the most high and fucked up I've ever been in my entire life. I don't know what that's called, but I've smoked uh cloud nine. Like we dipped into bombing fluid and PCP and I was less high then than when I just hate by itself?
00:35:07
Speaker 3: What is the what is the PCP high?
00:35:09
Speaker 1: I was just it's kissing. It's kind of me.
00:35:12
Speaker 3: Oh really, well, hey I'm learning. Man, you had a the fucking Flat Earth book in your waiting room.
00:35:16
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, I don't know what's out there.
00:35:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was whacky. I went to I went to the fucking Index of Bibliography. It was all YouTube links.
00:35:23
Speaker 1: It's like it's like a North Korean prison out there. I don't know what's going on there.
00:35:31
Speaker 3: Oh I found out I'm North Korean actually recently.
00:35:33
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well there it was one country.
00:35:36
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, you know, but it's my whole life, my mom. I even asked him. I'm like, well I'm not We're like South Koreans. We're good. And then uh. They came out later and my mom just never told me.
00:35:44
Speaker 1: I went to the DMZ. Wait really, I went to the DMZ and looked at North Korea through binoculars And that's as close as what is it like when I won't go, I won't do They have they have a fake city that's like a facade. Because they noticed that people were watching, tours were watching, they built this like really make sure like village or whatever. Yeah, and it's like totally like two D city and the rest of it looks like pure misery, pure pure fucking hell. But there is North Korean cuisine that I tried to get. There's like one isn't that much different, But there's this one stew that this woman in South Korea told me to get and I failed it.
00:36:22
Speaker 3: Wait Dan sung saw in La that's North Korean?
00:36:25
Speaker 2: Is it?
00:36:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's supposed to be. It's like a Korean it's a bunker theme restaurant, and I mean it's the same fucking food. But oh uh huh, yeah, that's why they all wait came. There's a big picture of Kim Jong ill in there really, yeah, it's on the wall.
00:36:37
Speaker 1: It's pretty controversial, is it in Korea town.
00:36:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well that's that's like having a.
00:36:44
Speaker 1: Fidel Castro picture at a Cuban restaurant.
00:36:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's actually funny. It's like when you go to a Russia it's like they have guys dressed up as like uh solid and like you can't do that in Germany. There's not like take a photo Hitler. You know, it's like fucking funny. So I don't know who else what does they do?
00:37:01
Speaker 1: I mean, George watching It own more slaves than anybody. He was the richest man in America at the time. He owned more slaves. His teeth were slave teeth. I did find that recently with lead in them. So he was like he was and apparently it's a ginger. Oh really, and he's like as tall as me. That's actually the least important fact everything.
00:37:19
Speaker 3: I just I'm just.
00:37:22
Speaker 1: And redhead. What hold it right there?
00:37:31
Speaker 3: I have a story about asking death gripts for a beer and then I crank about I'll eat Okay, okay, how are you to start eating? Yeah? Easy? I got other bombings, but they're so normal like them. Yeah, okay, I guess everyone well, you know, okay, this is actually anyone in a band. I will understand that if you play Germany you have a bad show, like barely when it comes. All this staff comes up to you and they be like, wow, it must feel so terrible to all the way here and have Nolan comes to a show. I'll just be like, you all sold bad. You must feel awful when you go to sleep.
00:38:05
Speaker 1: I just want to Taiwan and like Taiwanese girls, they have no filter, so it's like the food is really bad. They'll just go to the waiter like, hey, this food is terrible. It tastes like dog food.
00:38:15
Speaker 3: Anyway, they gott you gotta have a taime with accent. Come on, let's come on here, come away with that. I can't. I can't get into the story. I'm not being able to myself. I can't imagine it's not working.
00:38:25
Speaker 1: If you do a black Son, I will do a Taiwanese.
00:38:28
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm doing a black set. Hey percent in my life, I grew up a Comedy Central, and like you know, that's like getting regular.
00:38:35
Speaker 1: Doing the right impression of the old dirty bastard. Okay, so death grips beer.
00:38:45
Speaker 3: Story, Okay, it's a f y f this is I don't know why the story is so funny. People find it very funny, so I tell it all the time. Were we played right before them, and their trailer is right next to the stage and our trailers in the artist zone. So I just really wanted a beer. So I went and through the door and I was like, hey man, we're the band right before you. You know, my trailers really far away. Can I just have one of your beers? And it was the keyboard guy and he was just like uh uh no when he showed the door, Oh no, oh, this isn't really a bombing. But one of the last nighte Shale shows we played this is separately after that tour. It was in their farewell shows in La and we were on stage and like halfway to the set, like like it was just like it was like the it was like an outhouse but like the back of the Chinese restaurant I put together. It was like so bad and I was like, dude, at first, it's like someone farting. I'm like, no, that can't. It was at the Fonda. We're like two songs in and I'm just like I'm just staring at the guys and being like someone shit their fucking pants, Like only a live shit could be this live. It was actually crazier. I'm like, how could a shit be this crazy? And I'm just looking, I'm like sclaring at everyone, like who the fuck shit their pants? Man? And they were playing this thing and then sudden I hear was screaming for the audience and screaming and screamings building, and I looked out and this girl in Daisy Dudes, Red Daisy Dutch is being crowdsurfed, and I fucking like the fire hole was like of just of just you know, of whatever. Yeager ship is straying full blast and were liked, and she got fucking thrown over the barricade, just spraying and spraying and spray Why and then are you?
00:40:13
Speaker 1: And I was like crowdserving why?
00:40:15
Speaker 2: You know?
00:40:15
Speaker 3: I think you're trying to get rid of her. She was spraying so bad. They're like get out of here, you know, and you know, and you know, I'm sure she's waiting there since like eight in the morning, drinking Yeager so so so they spray over her. Yeah, everyone's everyone's just screaming and screaming and there's just you know, liquid ship everyone from.
00:40:34
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, imagine under everyone.
00:40:38
Speaker 3: It was like it was like blade, you know, like everyone's gonna like job. So then I had this moment where I'm like, dude, we hit the brown note.
00:40:45
Speaker 2: But no.
00:40:46
Speaker 3: Then I You're like, well halfway through, I'm like, dude, we're fucking whoa this pants man? And then and then I was like, oh wait, that doesn't make any sense. There's no fucking way, you know, like I don't know. I was like, is it the moment. It's like, in a few seconds anyway, you start thinking logically, they're waiting all day in the sun drinking Yeager. I'm assuming Yeager.
00:41:04
Speaker 1: Why why?
00:41:05
Speaker 3: Why? Why the consistency? You know, like you know, you can.
00:41:08
Speaker 1: Tell what I'm like, how it is. If anyone would go, it would be you.
00:41:15
Speaker 3: Circle something Yeager equivalent to get that consistency. It was like that ship. It was like a not a smoothie, but a milkshake. You know what I'm saying, Like empty stomach.
00:41:25
Speaker 1: Could you imagine that that story haunts her whole life? And then she comes across this podcast episode is like she can't shake it. I don't care. I hope she does hear this podcast.
00:41:34
Speaker 3: These guys are really you got to go to the hospital. She's like, she's touch nails man. She's waiting all day. You know, Rare, just get those tickets. I'm just really shocked a let her back in. I feel like if I was sprained diarrhea they have.
00:41:47
Speaker 1: I'm going home, I'm washing up, and I'm like, I'm quarantining.
00:41:53
Speaker 3: It was so rad though. She's wearing Daisy Dukes though, because because.
00:41:56
Speaker 1: The time, what what city is LA?
00:41:59
Speaker 3: Is that the fun So the tightness of the pants, I think I created that that that hose affect me. You squeezed the hose and it was coming out like one of those the v you know, saying.
00:42:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have like a chicken pot in your dick no, you know, in your peace blits in half in the morning, sometimes not fully like.
00:42:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's terrible.
00:42:20
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. I kind of like it. Peing with Boner, peaking with Boner, your piece ples in half. Yeah, yeah. When I had chicken box, I had a chicken bog in my dick hole and oh your kid, all right, by all right, cool.
00:42:37
Speaker 2: With Avery Condrey.
00:42:38
Speaker 1: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. And iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar, our producer is Bei Wang, Our research assistant is David Carliner. Our editor and sound designers Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg co. Rate us five stars and drop a review on your podcast app a choice
