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Hey, welcome to Between Sermons,
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where we are continuing the conversation
from our Sunday message.
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As always, you don't have to have listened
to the Sunday sermon
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to get anything out of this podcast.
It could help, though.
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So if you want to check out that message,
it will be in the the show notes for you.
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But today I have a very special guest,
a Pastor Derrick Greaves.
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How you doing, man? Good, man. Good.
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I'm honored to be in front of you.
Hey, this is. This is fun.
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So this is Derrick.
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Is he and his wife
are the newest pastors on staff here.
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So it's taken a little while
to get you in the chair.
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But now that we finally cornered
you. Yeah.
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Oh, this is going to be fun.
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You are a musician extraordinaire.
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Some would say.
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I would say I'm just a basic piano player.
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Trying to figure things out.
Still trying to figure it out now.
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But it's awesome to be able to
have you not just on the team,
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but to be able to to sit across from you
and hang out a little bit.
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Absolutely. As we talk about movies.
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Yeah. Like, I don't know.
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I think for the next couple of weeks
this is kind of a movie podcast
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in addition to a between sermons
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conversation about what
what we talked about on Sunday.
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So we're in a series, for those of you
that don't know, called at the Movies.
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We've been doing this
since I think we counted the other day.
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It's like for 20 years or something crazy.
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We've been doing it for a long time.
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We're basically we take some
some popular movies
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and we don't try and preach the movie.
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We try and preach a biblical principle.
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And it's really it's
what Jesus would do, right?
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Jesus, when he wanted to get a really deep
spiritual truth across to his audience.
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Nine times out of ten,
he would tell a story.
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Right.
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And it was
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the story would kind of get people
to kind of lean in and attached to it.
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And then he would drop these, like,
spiritual nuggets on them
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that sometimes they walked away,
still scratching their heads.
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But it was it was a great,
effective way of bringing the gospel.
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And so we do that
and we let Hollywood be the storytellers.
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And sometimes they do an amazing job.
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Sometimes they do a horrible job.
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And but even in the bad jobs,
they give us kind of a
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I don't know, the highlight, the path
that we can we can find scripture for.
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Right. And so that's kind of what we did.
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So our movie
this week was Top Gun Maverick, Top. Gun.
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Sequel to
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Tom Cruise's best movie.
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I think. I don't know
what would be better.
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Mission Impossible.
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I'm a Mission impossible guy.
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Yeah. Top Gun.
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I didn't get into Top Gun
until I think last year.
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Okay.
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And the way I got into it,
a lot of people were recommending
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the Maverick movie, and I went,
I never saw the first one
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because I wasn't really into Top Gun
in the way
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it was introduced
to me was by a bunch of women.
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So it was you got to see this movie.
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You got to see this might not be the best
selling action.
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Right. Right. So I'm a I'm an action guy.
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So if I have a bunch of women saying
you need to watch Top Gun, I'm like, Yeah,
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I probably don't want to see that.
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So it took me maybe
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I think I think it was maybe four months
to actually pick it up and watch it.
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And I went,
Oh, man, it's a it's an excellent movie.
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Yeah. So I'm a believer, you know? So.
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Mission Impossible.
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Tom Cruise for me is is that's peak.
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Yeah that's I think that's.
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There's a new one coming out soon
to write.
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A new mission
impossible yet excited about that one.
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Okay so is that your genre
then action movies like if it's just Derek
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and it's Movie Night and Katie
lets you pick, what are you picking?
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I'm picking action all day. Yeah.
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Cars blowing
up, people flying, people fighting people.
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I hate to say it, but I don't.
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We don't like to celebrate.
Celebrate death.
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But if it's.
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If it's pretty violent, I'm with it.
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I'm right there with it.
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Yeah.
My go to is always going to be action.
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My wife is always these telenovelas
and rom coms and all that,
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but I'll run away from it
if I'm holding the controller.
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Yeah.
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We're going to action of some guys. Yeah.
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Yeah. No.
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So are you, are you big into movies?
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Is that something
you do on a regular basis?
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I would consider myself a movie
buff is because,
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I mean, there's so many different genres
that I don't watch that I can, you know,
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you can say that I'm not a movie buff, but
when it comes to action, like, I can go.
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I can go as far as you. Want to go.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Because last week
we had my parents on the show
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and they're the only thing they do
for their day off
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for as long as I can
remember, was go to the movies.
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Yeah.
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Like they have seen
some of the worst movies ever
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just because it was the only thing
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at the theater
at the time that they hadn't seen.
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Like, can you even imagine that?
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Like,
I've never looked at the listing of movies
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at the theater and gone, Oh, man,
I've seen all of these. Right?
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Right. Like, this is like,
that's just never happened to me.
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That is absolutely happen to them.
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Like, they're like, Well,
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we can't go to the movies this week
because we've seen everything, right?
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It reminds me of a time when I was young
and we used to do this thing, and
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I hope not to be judged by this,
but we will watch one movie.
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And if we if once that movie was over,
we would just hop to and.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
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So I remember going through that,
and I remember one time
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we almost made it to all the movies,
which was pretty.
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That's a long it's. Pretty criminal.
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But you know what?
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They are free, Free same day every day.
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So the sad thing is, I can't even claim
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that's pretty safe days
because I actually did that with my wife.
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Yeah, that's a great song.
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And so.
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So, yeah, we were newlyweds.
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We we definitely did the theater. Yeah.
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It was like charging 20 bucks for a thing,
a popcorn and watching two movies the
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day the. Three of.
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Us just walking from one to the next,
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we'd look at the movie times and be like,
I hate this one's 2 hours.
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It starts at 11.
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There's this movie at one.
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We can totally do it.
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Yeah, Yeah. Okay.
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Are you a sneak snacks
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into the movie theater guy? Uh.
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Not really.
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I'm. I love going to the to the counter
and ordering the popcorn.
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The movie theater.
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Popcorn is probably the best popcorn
you can get.
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Okay, So.
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So, you know, popcorn,
I definitely go to the counter,
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but the candy, I may.
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I may still kind of linger in the sneak
into the theater situation because,
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I mean, you pay $5 for a box of candy
and go to the dollar store and.
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Same the same exact.
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Same exact box.
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So it just doesn't make sense.
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You know,
we're being robbed at the movie theater.
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So if I had to give a confessional,
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I've kind of gotten away from
the movie theater experience.
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One, because
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the movies you walk away from the movies
spending about $1,000, it.
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Feels like.
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It feels like $1,000, you know,
and then take.
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Out a mortgage.
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Before you go
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miss a car.
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No, you know, those sorts of things.
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But I'm a I'm really into making my home
like a theater experience
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so that I can, you know, pause
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the movie, get it, you know, get a snack,
get even dinner, you know, so, you know,
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movie theaters for me are kind of
declining out of out of out of my culture.
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So, you know. I get that, I guess. Yeah.
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So you talked about dinner and the movie.
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So confession time. Okay. Confession.
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While living in Mexico, my wife and I
smuggled a large Domino's Pizza
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into a movie.
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Okay.
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I'm still not entirely sure
how we got away with that.
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I think.
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I think we had stuffed the
the pizza box in my shirt. Wow.
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And then I kind of, like, hugged her
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like we were super romantic as
we walked through and nobody would see it.
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But yes, we absolutely
brought an entire pizza into the movie.
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And in Mexico, I think.
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I can I think I can outdo you on that one.
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I was I was younger
and I went to the movies with my auntie
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one time, and my auntie was known
for making us the best man.
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Mayonnaise, sandwiches,
you know, baloney, mayonnaise, cheese.
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Great.
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So we go to the movies
and she brings this big purse.
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We had no idea what was happening.
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We just saw this big person.
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All of a sudden, before the movie starts,
people just, you know, me
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and my cousins, we just passing down,
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you know, these aluminum
foil covered things and we opened it.
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It's like it's a sandwich.
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And then maybe 5 minutes into the movie,
she pulls out fried chicken. So.
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So pizza.
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And that's
a hard one to sneak into the movies.
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But to have fried chicken in the movie.
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Man, that's that's pretty
that's pretty impressive.
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Yeah, We thought about that one time.
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You know, the rotisserie chickens,
you can buy at the grocery store.
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It's like I mean, we looked at that one
time, we're like, totally.
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That that.
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And yeah, you totally get
I've seen it done before.
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These are heathen days,
you know, we're much more holy now.
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So the movie Top Gun did an amazing job
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of presenting us with
this kind of this problem, this dilemma.
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And then I joked on Sunday about how
they didn't know how to answer the right
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their own problem.
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Yeah. So, like, they write this line,
I don't know how.
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And it's like, yeah, he really didn't
he didn't know how.
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But the problem that they present to us
is that you can't move forward
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and while you're holding on
to the past. Right.
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And so it gives us two characters
that are both holding on to the past,
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one's holding on to guilt,
the other is holding on to pain.
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And how is that kind of showed itself
in your life?
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Like, what have you seen that
maybe in your own life
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where you're working with somebody
or you've got a family member or friend
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and you're just like, man, like,
there's so much potential for this person.
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Yeah,
but they're being held back by their past.
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Yeah, I mean, I'm 38 years old,
so there are a lot of
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there's a lot of life
there to kind of sift through.
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But there are some moments,
you know, that that stick out to me.
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And I don't want to turn it into
a, you know,
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one of those you know,
I'm, I guess, counseling sessions.
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But I've been dealing with my father,
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the forgiveness of my father
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for the past,
I don't know, maybe 20 years.
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He left the house when I was about,
I think, 12 years old.
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Dad was always in the house.
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He was the he was a deacon at the church.
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So we were raised to be great Christians
and to be honest
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and to do all the right things
and was even disciplined in that way.
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But later, later on in life, he decided,
you know, hey, I'm a I'm a changed man
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now, you know, this is who I am
and I've always been this way.
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So we just saw a different
a different side of him.
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And to be raised up in that
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and in the Christian values
and to see your father of all people
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just about face,
you know, hey, I'm not that guy anymore.
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So it's like, what?
What do you mean? Like, it's crazy?
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These are the principles
that I've built my life on, even though I.
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I struggled tremendously,
you know, living by that.
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But, you know, just to see your foundation
be crumbled right under your feet.
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00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:44,333
Yeah.
237
00:10:45,566 --> 00:10:48,600
So we went through we went through some,
you know, some moments of,
238
00:10:48,616 --> 00:10:52,066
you know, hurt and frustration
and being upset because, I mean,
239
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,383
when your mom and dad is in the house
and you grow
240
00:10:54,383 --> 00:10:57,383
up, you're 12 years old now
and that's all you know,
241
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,750
and your dad about faces that way,
242
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,566
it feels like you've been,
you know, stabbed in the back.
243
00:11:03,566 --> 00:11:05,033
It feels like you've just kind of
244
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been left out in the water by yourself,
like someone just jumps off the ship,
245
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:12,650
the captain jumps off the ship
and leaves the crew hanging.
246
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:14,100
So, yeah.
247
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:18,300
So it made me feel like I had to step up
as the man of the house at 12 years old.
248
00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,233
So how do you deal with that
at 12 years old?
249
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:21,950
You know, and
250
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,200
I'm looking at my mom.
251
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,150
You know, she's hurting, she's crying.
252
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:29,150
She's you know, she's going through
everything a woman will go through.
253
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:33,766
That's going through their husband
not being the man that she thought he was.
254
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:37,550
So infidelity,
you know, that comes with lies, that comes
255
00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:43,050
with a whole different life that you
you didn't even know was possible by this.
256
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:47,000
You know, this this man who stands
upright, you know, in church.
257
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So I think
258
00:11:51,616 --> 00:11:54,316
I didn't get to
I stopped speaking to my dad.
259
00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:57,533
I think I was about maybe 17
260
00:11:57,616 --> 00:12:02,266
and I didn't talk to him again
until I was about 30. Wow.
261
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Yeah.
262
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,300
So honestly, not even 30.
263
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,333
I think it was about 33.
264
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:12,750
I had I had just met Katie,
which was about a year ago.
265
00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:14,416
So that that math doesn't add up.
266
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:18,500
So it would have it would have had
to have been like 30, 36, 37.
267
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,316
So I hadn't talked about
I hadn't talked to my dad in a while.
268
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,750
So that was a journey for me, you know,
learning
269
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:28,116
how to get to that place of forgiveness
and yeah,
270
00:12:28,883 --> 00:12:33,500
even even identifying
what parts of my life were affected
271
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:37,516
by that because, you know, there's,
there's, there's these moments of,
272
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:41,850
uh, I'm okay,
there's nothing wrong with me.
273
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:43,733
Everything is going
great. I'm a great man.
274
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,566
You know, I don't need my father.
275
00:12:45,566 --> 00:12:46,850
I don't I don't need his help.
276
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,983
He he can get it right himself.
277
00:12:48,983 --> 00:12:53,400
So I'm moving throughout life
with this unforgiveness on my heart
278
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:58,283
and not even realizing how it's impacting,
you know, my future.
279
00:12:58,366 --> 00:12:59,400
Yeah. Yeah, I was.
280
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:00,083
I was actually talking
281
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:04,016
to a friend recently and he was kind of
in that same place where he's like, Man,
282
00:13:04,766 --> 00:13:07,766
there was this horrible event
that happened in my life.
283
00:13:08,116 --> 00:13:11,116
I thought I had forgiveness,
I thought I had healing.
284
00:13:11,116 --> 00:13:15,466
It's like, But I've been finding myself
with anxiety, with like, all of these,
285
00:13:15,466 --> 00:13:20,250
like this, these emotions that it almost
feels like I love the way he he says.
286
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,133
It's like there's this residue.
287
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,733
Like it's like I let go of that thing,
but it's sticking to me.
288
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:26,750
Yeah.
289
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:30,416
And so I'm curious, like,
I mean, that, you know, almost 20 years.
290
00:13:30,416 --> 00:13:31,516
Yeah.
291
00:13:31,516 --> 00:13:35,366
So two questions I've got for you and you
can pick which one you answer first, but
292
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,250
how how do you
293
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,416
walk through forgiveness
in that, that case.
294
00:13:41,416 --> 00:13:42,200
Right.
295
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:46,433
And to I'm really curious because so many
people I talk to when it's a Christian
296
00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:49,616
that hurt them,
especially in your case, it's
297
00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:52,766
your father who who Deacon at the church,
all of that.
298
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:58,350
And when he walks away, so many Christians
will look at that and say, I'm out.
299
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,566
Yeah, I got the whole church thing.
300
00:14:00,566 --> 00:14:03,833
Yeah, clearly doesn't work
because this guy was dedicated to it.
301
00:14:03,916 --> 00:14:06,050
He's a big phony, you know?
302
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:08,400
So if it didn't work for him,
why am I going to bother?
303
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,383
And so for a lot of people in that pain,
especially from a Christian
304
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:16,133
or a so-called Christian,
you know, they abandoned the faith.
305
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:17,716
Yeah. So how did you keep your faith?
306
00:14:17,716 --> 00:14:21,566
And then 20 years later, how do you
how do you walk in forgiveness?
307
00:14:21,566 --> 00:14:22,316
Yeah.
308
00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:25,966
Well, uh, the
how do you keep your faith question?
309
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,983
Uh, this is an interesting one
310
00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:31,666
because I've grown up in church
my entire life from the moment I was born.
311
00:14:31,883 --> 00:14:35,716
You know, my mom and mom tell the story
about when she was pregnant with me.
312
00:14:35,716 --> 00:14:38,900
She would walk in churches
and she would just feel Derek in her
313
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:40,666
in her belly, just jumping up and down,
314
00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,966
because apparently music
was just ingrained.
315
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,116
And it's been my thing.
316
00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:50,866
Um, so the, the foundation of my faith
is, was always important.
317
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,000
And even when I didn't
notice that it was important,
318
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:58,800
my mom and, and, and my dad at that time,
they were,
319
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,666
they were very serious about making
sure my foundation was solid in Christ.
320
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:08,816
So who God is growing in our
our living in the fear of the Lord?
321
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:14,866
Um, knowing that God is, is,
is beyond my mother and Father.
322
00:15:14,866 --> 00:15:17,866
They would always make God bigger,
even bigger than themselves.
323
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:21,083
So there was always a higher,
324
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:23,900
a higher authority in my life.
325
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,016
And that was always God.
326
00:15:25,016 --> 00:15:26,416
So, you know, reading
327
00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:30,466
the Christian stories and knowing that,
you know, a guy could destroy a whole city
328
00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:34,733
with fire and brimstone
and he can flood the whole earth, and.
329
00:15:34,816 --> 00:15:35,766
You got the fear of God.
330
00:15:35,766 --> 00:15:38,216
I have a fear. Of God in my life.
331
00:15:38,216 --> 00:15:38,666
Yeah.
332
00:15:38,666 --> 00:15:41,866
So, I mean, with that,
with that being my foundation,
333
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,516
that's really how I stayed in the faith.
334
00:15:44,516 --> 00:15:47,666
And there was even a period in my life
when when I got older,
335
00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:51,150
even my foundation was shaking.
336
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,483
And what I mean by that is, God,
I've known you
337
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:56,483
my I've known I've been told about you
my whole life,
338
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,750
but I don't think I've had a
a genuine experience with you.
339
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,033
I don't think I know you for myself. Yeah.
340
00:16:02,033 --> 00:16:05,600
And when the Bible says Knock in the door,
be open to you,
341
00:16:06,016 --> 00:16:10,016
I knocked at that door and God flung it
open like it's.
342
00:16:10,216 --> 00:16:11,100
It's.
343
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,716
I hear a lot of testimonies about people
who have these experiences with God,
344
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:17,783
and it's like split second experiences.
345
00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:21,000
And when I hear those stories,
I can identify with that.
346
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,550
Yeah, that's honestly
how I came into relationship with God,
347
00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:29,266
just by asking him,
Who are you and what is
348
00:16:29,266 --> 00:16:32,450
who is this guy that people have told me
about my whole life?
349
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,633
And so my foundation has always been
solid.
350
00:16:35,633 --> 00:16:38,850
I've always chased after God,
even when it's even when it was tough.
351
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:41,850
You know, there are questions in the faith
that you sometimes
352
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:45,166
come up on and it's like,
okay, God, that that doesn't make sense.
353
00:16:45,383 --> 00:16:47,300
You got to help me with this.
354
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,450
And so just leaning on him
and building that relationship with him
355
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:54,833
and allowing him to kind of pour into me
and show me himself
356
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:59,183
who he is, you'll find that, you know,
God will reveal some things to you
357
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:02,633
that, you know,
you just don't hear on a regular basis.
358
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,616
I love that because I think for a
for a lot of people, the danger
359
00:17:06,616 --> 00:17:11,566
that we get in is when we look at a person
as our avenue to God.
360
00:17:11,566 --> 00:17:12,350
Yeah.
361
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:16,216
And so when it's the pastor
is the representative of God.
362
00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:18,566
So I'm I'm getting to God
through the pastor.
363
00:17:18,566 --> 00:17:24,233
When the pastor messes up, then it's like,
yeah, I don't have the connection.
364
00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:28,366
That's for me, it's like the way to
to hold on to your faith,
365
00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:31,400
even when Christians mess up,
is to understand, okay, Christians aren't
366
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,400
perfect like that,
or we never claim to be.
367
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,666
Like, the whole premise of Christianity
is that we're not perfect.
368
00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:40,516
Like, yeah, we are in need of a savior.
And a lot of times
369
00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:44,183
we demonstrate to the world
how much we are in need of a savior.
370
00:17:44,816 --> 00:17:48,766
But when our focal point
and when our connection to God is to God
371
00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:52,766
and not through anybody, but just straight
through the Holy Spirit to God,
372
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:56,516
then you know, when a Christian fails,
even if it's a parent,
373
00:17:56,516 --> 00:17:58,733
even if it's a family member,
or even if it's our pastor,
374
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:01,733
even if it's somebody
that should have had authority over us,
375
00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:04,283
we can hold on to our faith
because we recognize
376
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,866
my relationship was with God,
not with this person.
377
00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:11,250
Yeah, and this person is just a flawed
representative of a perfect God.
378
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:11,400
Yeah.
379
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,150
So I'm going to I'm going to
380
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:16,016
hold on to the perfect God
and let the flawed individual be flawed.
381
00:18:16,016 --> 00:18:17,033
Yeah. Yeah.
382
00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:19,283
One of the things my mom would always
tell is
383
00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:21,983
my mom was really good at always
speaking scripture.
384
00:18:21,983 --> 00:18:24,233
It wasn't until I got old
385
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:27,166
that I realized that these words
are now hitting in my heart.
386
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:31,016
So when things come up in life,
I can hear the scripture
387
00:18:31,016 --> 00:18:32,550
that my mommy planted in our hearts.
388
00:18:33,716 --> 00:18:34,766
So one
389
00:18:34,766 --> 00:18:37,800
thing she would say
is you just don't put your trust in man.
390
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,316
Your man will always value that.
391
00:18:40,316 --> 00:18:44,750
It doesn't matter how much,
how much hope or love or faith
392
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,016
you have in another person,
they will always value.
393
00:18:48,016 --> 00:18:51,016
So walking and walking in that knowledge,
394
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:54,683
knowing that
I just have to walk with grace,
395
00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:57,866
you know, I have to walk with grace
for for everyone around me.
396
00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,716
So to answer the question,
397
00:18:59,716 --> 00:19:02,783
the second question you had about,
you know, how did I get to forgiveness?
398
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,800
It was all built on that foundation of,
you know,
399
00:19:06,983 --> 00:19:11,966
I love love one another, you know,
forgive as as God is forgiving you.
400
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:16,600
And so it's easier said than done
because as is
401
00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:19,400
as you as I told you before,
it took me about 20 years
402
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,683
even pick up the phone and say,
hey, dad, I'm just.
403
00:19:21,683 --> 00:19:23,150
And even then it was just like,
404
00:19:24,316 --> 00:19:26,466
I don't really care what you got going on.
405
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,616
I just I know I need to forgive you.
406
00:19:28,616 --> 00:19:30,833
So let me just pick up the phone
and say this.
407
00:19:30,833 --> 00:19:32,116
Right before you getting married,
408
00:19:32,116 --> 00:19:35,183
I felt that, like,
I should at least let them know.
409
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:35,850
Right? Right.
410
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:38,850
I should let them know that I'm
moving on to the next part of life.
411
00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:45,416
So that and and what's funny about it is
we think when we say forgiveness,
412
00:19:45,416 --> 00:19:48,416
we think we're just saying, okay,
I forgive you and move on to.
413
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,966
And that's one thing
I loved about your sermon yesterday.
414
00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:53,750
It was how do I forgive with boundaries?
415
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:56,750
And that's always been the struggle for me
416
00:19:58,366 --> 00:20:01,283
because I'm reading the word
and I'm looking at the walk of Christ.
417
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,600
I'm looking at the way Jesus moves.
418
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,600
And Jesus is like he walked.
419
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,300
He comes into Jerusalem
and people are excited like we are.
420
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:10,250
Oh, man, Jesus.
421
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:10,733
Yeah, yeah.
422
00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:13,616
He's come to save us
and save us from this authority.
423
00:20:13,616 --> 00:20:17,900
And and shortly thereafter,
these are the same people going
424
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,966
crucify him, crucify him.
425
00:20:19,966 --> 00:20:24,050
But the part that I like,
I still deal with this scripture.
426
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:28,050
When he was on his way to Calvary,
427
00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:32,100
the same people that were saying
Hosanna said, crucify him.
428
00:20:32,483 --> 00:20:36,600
So Jesus is watching these same people
spit on him and throw rocks at him.
429
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:41,300
They and this is after he's been beaten,
you know, this he's already went through,
430
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,683
you know, torment.
431
00:20:42,683 --> 00:20:47,366
And and he after he leaves there,
he goes out amongst these people.
432
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:51,266
They see him bleeding,
they see him hurting, they see him down
433
00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:52,883
and they continue to beat him down.
434
00:20:52,883 --> 00:20:55,200
And he looks them in his face,
in their faces.
435
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,333
And he says, Father, forgive them for
they know not what they do.
436
00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:03,566
And I'm not going to I'm not going to
look at you guys and say, you know what?
437
00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:05,400
You guys are doing, too much.
438
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,800
This is this is abuse.
439
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,316
And I'm going to like I'm
going to create this boundary.
440
00:21:09,316 --> 00:21:12,416
And now Jesus, like, goes beyond that.
441
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:15,833
So in my Christian faith, it's always been
442
00:21:16,133 --> 00:21:19,050
how do I how do I godly
443
00:21:19,050 --> 00:21:22,050
forgive someone
the same way that crisis forgiveness
444
00:21:22,650 --> 00:21:25,466
with restoration in mind, but also
445
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:30,050
have boundaries to keep me from
being the abused one.
446
00:21:30,116 --> 00:21:33,050
Yeah. So I know I know this.
447
00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:36,683
I know you're the host,
but I would like to get your thoughts
448
00:21:36,683 --> 00:21:40,500
on that because,
yeah, it's always been a struggle.
449
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,733
Like how, how when Jesus says, you know,
450
00:21:42,733 --> 00:21:45,900
when when someone slaps you in your face,
you turn the other cheek.
451
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:49,316
And I've heard I've heard it before.
452
00:21:49,316 --> 00:21:50,933
In church you only have two cheeks.
453
00:21:50,933 --> 00:21:51,566
So when they
454
00:21:51,566 --> 00:21:55,200
when they get ready to slap you the third
time, you just have to push them away.
455
00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:58,583
But how do I
456
00:21:58,583 --> 00:22:01,800
how do I walk with the forgiveness
that Christ has for us?
457
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,333
The one that places our sins
as far from the east to the west?
458
00:22:05,333 --> 00:22:06,716
Yeah.
459
00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:07,666
So that's that's just an.
460
00:22:07,666 --> 00:22:08,716
Interesting you know,
461
00:22:08,716 --> 00:22:11,600
the funny thing is the like the whole
you only have two cheeks.
462
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,550
I just reading too much in exactly
like Right.
463
00:22:13,550 --> 00:22:15,683
He doesn't say that
Like if you turn this way,
464
00:22:15,683 --> 00:22:17,200
guess what you can still talk about
465
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,733
you can still go this way
he it like there's there's
466
00:22:19,733 --> 00:22:22,250
nothing in the text that indicates that
Yeah that's it that's it.
467
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:25,250
Now Paul does give Titus a three strike
rule, okay.
468
00:22:25,616 --> 00:22:28,633
Or he's like, hey,
you know, if he messes up, tell him right.
469
00:22:28,666 --> 00:22:29,183
He messed up.
470
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:33,083
If he does it again right now, the third
time, I have nothing else to do with it.
471
00:22:33,083 --> 00:22:34,166
Yeah, yeah.
472
00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:35,450
But what we didn't get.
473
00:22:35,450 --> 00:22:37,800
I'm so glad you asked me the question,
because it's one of those things
474
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,333
in a sermon.
475
00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:41,150
I got 35 minutes. Yeah,
I can't talk about everything. Right?
476
00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:44,366
And so there's a lot of things around
the subject matter that even even so,
477
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,516
we could have a podcast for 5 hours.
Oh, yeah.
478
00:22:46,516 --> 00:22:48,350
And there's still be things
we didn't get to talk about
479
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:50,933
with with this subject matter
because it is it's huge.
480
00:22:50,933 --> 00:22:54,150
We have this kind of this internal saying
amongst pastors.
481
00:22:54,316 --> 00:22:57,850
You could preach on forgiveness
every Sunday for 52 weeks and still
482
00:22:58,216 --> 00:22:59,333
and still not cover it all.
483
00:22:59,333 --> 00:23:02,333
And everybody would be,
you know, crying on the altar
484
00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,550
every single day,
even if they heard it for 52 weeks.
485
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:08,033
Like it's it's
just it's such a needed subject matter
486
00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:11,416
because it's it's it affects all
of us in such a profound way.
487
00:23:12,916 --> 00:23:14,000
And it's almost like
488
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000
there's this dilemma of, okay,
489
00:23:17,150 --> 00:23:18,650
how many times do I forgive him?
490
00:23:18,650 --> 00:23:22,266
Or how how open do I let my life be right?
491
00:23:22,316 --> 00:23:24,916
And what are the boundaries
and when do I set the boundaries right?
492
00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:30,200
And honestly, my only answer for that is
you have to listen to the Holy Spirit.
493
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,133
Yeah. Yeah.
494
00:23:31,133 --> 00:23:32,150
You've got to.
495
00:23:32,150 --> 00:23:36,266
Now, I also advise getting counseling,
getting Christian counseling,
496
00:23:36,266 --> 00:23:39,266
because a secular counselor is going
to point you in a different direction.
497
00:23:40,050 --> 00:23:42,316
But at the end of the day,
the Holy Spirit is the one.
498
00:23:42,316 --> 00:23:43,733
I mean, Holy Spirit
499
00:23:43,733 --> 00:23:46,733
told the Prophet in the Old Testament
to marry a prostitute. Yep.
500
00:23:47,150 --> 00:23:48,166
Multiple times. Yeah.
501
00:23:48,166 --> 00:23:49,816
Like I marry her.
502
00:23:49,816 --> 00:23:52,366
She's she's.
503
00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:54,166
There's infidelity.
504
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:57,166
Go back to her, like,
forgive her, bring her back.
505
00:23:57,166 --> 00:24:00,116
And so, like the Holy Spirit,
you may be in a relationship
506
00:24:00,116 --> 00:24:03,533
and this is, this is where it's like, man,
it's it's hard as a as a preacher
507
00:24:03,766 --> 00:24:07,433
to stand on a stage
and say things for an entire crowd
508
00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:10,466
when I don't know
your individual situation.
509
00:24:10,466 --> 00:24:11,216
That's good.
510
00:24:11,216 --> 00:24:13,950
And so like that, that's
where that counseling component comes in
511
00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:16,816
because then it's it's
very specific to your situation.
512
00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:19,616
But I know relationships
513
00:24:19,616 --> 00:24:22,616
where the husband cheated on the wife and
514
00:24:24,083 --> 00:24:25,850
wrecked the relationship.
515
00:24:25,850 --> 00:24:26,366
Yeah.
516
00:24:26,366 --> 00:24:29,550
Holy Spirit
told the wife to stay with him.
517
00:24:29,566 --> 00:24:30,450
Yeah.
518
00:24:30,450 --> 00:24:33,150
And it's like, dude,
like even the Bible tells you
519
00:24:33,150 --> 00:24:36,150
when there's infidelity,
you have the right to leave.
520
00:24:36,233 --> 00:24:38,700
But the Holy Spirit told her,
stay with them.
521
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:39,450
Yeah.
522
00:24:39,450 --> 00:24:43,550
And she tells us powerful story of like,
just laying on top of them
523
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,583
in their bed and just saying,
you're not going anywhere.
524
00:24:46,583 --> 00:24:47,516
Yeah. Yeah.
525
00:24:47,516 --> 00:24:48,550
And it just is powerful.
526
00:24:48,550 --> 00:24:51,416
He's a broken man
and she's just she's like, I'm.
527
00:24:51,416 --> 00:24:55,350
Yeah, you messed up in an incredibly
you broke trust.
528
00:24:55,350 --> 00:24:58,350
We're going to spend a lifetime
rebuilding that trust.
529
00:24:58,516 --> 00:24:59,600
But I'm not leaving you.
530
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,366
Yeah,
because the Holy Spirit said to stay.
531
00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,666
It's all good at the same time.
532
00:25:02,666 --> 00:25:06,766
I've got other people that I know, and
it's like the Holy Spirit didn't say stay
533
00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:10,283
and the way he was behaving
and the lack of true repentance,
534
00:25:10,283 --> 00:25:14,116
because that's, that's a big thing that
the repentance versus saying I'm sorry.
535
00:25:14,116 --> 00:25:14,550
Yeah.
536
00:25:14,550 --> 00:25:18,150
I mean so often I see people
that are sorry because they got caught.
537
00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:19,216
Yeah, yeah.
538
00:25:19,216 --> 00:25:24,100
And that's not repentance and you can be
crying, you know, all the, the tears.
539
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:26,366
Yeah. And feel so horrible about it.
540
00:25:26,366 --> 00:25:29,450
But at the end of the day
it's still you're sorry you got caught.
541
00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:30,050
Yeah.
542
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:34,366
You didn't, you didn't come clean,
you didn't know, you got, you got busted
543
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,116
and you feel bad about it. Yeah.
544
00:25:36,116 --> 00:25:41,033
Whereas repentance is saying I recognize
what I did was wrong and whatever
545
00:25:41,033 --> 00:25:45,900
I have to do to not do that thing again,
right, that's what I'm going to do.
546
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:49,400
And I may still mess up, but
I'm going to do everything in my power.
547
00:25:49,666 --> 00:25:53,216
Like if it's, you know, pornography,
it's like, okay, I'm not going to
548
00:25:53,633 --> 00:25:56,866
I'm going to put on blockers
on all of my electronics.
549
00:25:56,866 --> 00:25:59,600
I'm not going to be in a room alone
with these things.
550
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,166
Right. You know, if it's infidelity.
551
00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:04,133
But you still have,
you know, Tinder on your phone.
552
00:26:04,133 --> 00:26:05,600
Yeah, like that.
553
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,700
Yeah. Like, come on. Do you not,
you know, walking away? Yeah.
554
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,600
That's not repentance, right?
555
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,266
Like,
if you still keep that account open. Yeah.
556
00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:15,066
If that's. That's not repentance. Yeah.
557
00:26:15,066 --> 00:26:18,016
So back to that whole it's got to be
Holy Spirit driven.
558
00:26:18,016 --> 00:26:18,833
Yeah.
559
00:26:18,833 --> 00:26:22,766
Because there are absolutely situations
where for person A
560
00:26:23,266 --> 00:26:25,816
you need to cut that relationship off,
561
00:26:25,816 --> 00:26:28,950
you need to, to leave for your health.
562
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:29,633
Yeah.
563
00:26:29,633 --> 00:26:32,333
Person
B could be in the exact same situation
564
00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:35,450
and the Holy Spirit's like, Stay,
yeah, yeah, because I'm going
565
00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:38,450
to do something
through you for that person.
566
00:26:38,633 --> 00:26:40,100
And so it's so hard.
567
00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:43,700
Like there's some people that I want to,
I want to be like, I'm just,
568
00:26:43,966 --> 00:26:45,300
let's, let's go talk. Yeah.
569
00:26:45,300 --> 00:26:47,250
Like, let's,
let's talk through your situation
570
00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:50,933
because just because he did this doesn't
mean that the response has to be this.
571
00:26:50,933 --> 00:26:52,800
Yeah, yeah. Got to follow the Holy Spirit.
572
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,016
Yeah. That's so good. I love.
573
00:26:54,016 --> 00:26:55,816
I love that you said that.
574
00:26:55,816 --> 00:26:59,333
It reminds me of the story when, when the
Pharisees, they come to Jesus and said,
575
00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:03,200
What do you do in the in the situation of,
of, you know, infidelity?
576
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:07,666
And Jesus says, well,
I mean, I wouldn't respond like you would,
577
00:27:07,666 --> 00:27:10,616
but if it's if it is infidelity,
you have the right to.
578
00:27:10,616 --> 00:27:13,850
So it it almost like you said, it
kind of leaves it
579
00:27:13,850 --> 00:27:17,266
in your in your wheelhouse to do. I
580
00:27:18,233 --> 00:27:18,616
if it's
581
00:27:18,616 --> 00:27:23,183
unhealthy and I decide I want to move
on, I can do it for my health.
582
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:28,850
But what Holy Spirit, what are you saying
And and it kind of opens the door
583
00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:33,983
to, you know, being the not the salvation,
but sort of like the
584
00:27:35,116 --> 00:27:38,416
you kind of sanctify another person
through through your walk,
585
00:27:38,483 --> 00:27:42,983
you know, I'm reminded of of
and I'm bad with remembering scriptures,
586
00:27:42,983 --> 00:27:45,983
but I know a lot of them, but I don't tend
to know how to reference them.
587
00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:50,850
But I'm reminded of how, you know,
when when Jesus talks about
588
00:27:50,850 --> 00:27:53,850
if if you marry
someone who's not of the faith,
589
00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:56,716
you know, your faith will actually
590
00:27:56,716 --> 00:27:59,716
it will be imparting it to your spouse.
591
00:28:00,116 --> 00:28:02,400
I will help them get to where
they need to go.
592
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:03,566
So, I mean,
593
00:28:04,733 --> 00:28:05,550
going back to my
594
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:10,316
father, all those years, I was
I was walking, trying to find forgiveness
595
00:28:10,316 --> 00:28:13,316
and trying to find the importance of why
596
00:28:13,366 --> 00:28:15,800
I would say to myself, I forgive my dad.
597
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,250
I just don't have to talk to him. I don't.
598
00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:20,250
So so I created that boundary.
599
00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:24,316
But what happened was I was
I was losing years of my dad.
600
00:28:26,266 --> 00:28:29,783
And I mean, it's easy to say,
you know, that he was
601
00:28:29,783 --> 00:28:33,116
he was no good for me
or he didn't know how to guide me.
602
00:28:33,116 --> 00:28:37,766
But even the affirmation of my father,
I didn't even realize how important it was
603
00:28:37,766 --> 00:28:38,566
to me.
604
00:28:38,566 --> 00:28:44,250
So, so long story short, fast for me
and my dad, we're cool now.
605
00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:45,166
He came to the wedding.
606
00:28:45,166 --> 00:28:47,250
He celebrated with us.
607
00:28:47,250 --> 00:28:48,900
He was also there with my mom.
608
00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:53,650
And it was it was good to see that
they were able to, you know, kind of be
609
00:28:53,666 --> 00:28:57,566
in the same space together and still
be cordial and all sorts of things.
610
00:28:58,016 --> 00:29:02,116
And I know for my mom,
she's she's she's very devout.
611
00:29:02,116 --> 00:29:03,466
She's a very devout Christian.
612
00:29:03,466 --> 00:29:05,216
So she still kind of struggles with that
613
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,016
with the forgiveness part.
614
00:29:10,016 --> 00:29:11,716
I believe that she's forgiving him.
615
00:29:11,716 --> 00:29:15,700
But I also believe that
there's there is a holy Spirit and a
616
00:29:15,716 --> 00:29:17,783
something happening in her,
they're saying.
617
00:29:17,783 --> 00:29:20,150
But Chase after, Chase after Chase after.
618
00:29:20,150 --> 00:29:21,050
So that's why I was
619
00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:22,050
that's why it was interesting
620
00:29:22,050 --> 00:29:24,616
for me to hear
you talk about forgiveness and boundaries,
621
00:29:24,616 --> 00:29:26,783
because that's that's
still a growing process.
622
00:29:26,783 --> 00:29:29,866
I mean, I think, well,
we'll always try and figure out.
623
00:29:30,166 --> 00:29:32,566
Impulses, you know,
Not that I've already achieved it.
624
00:29:32,566 --> 00:29:35,100
Right, right, right.
Like this is a process. Yeah.
625
00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:37,850
And and that's, you know, sometimes
that's a struggle. As a preacher.
626
00:29:37,850 --> 00:29:41,700
It's like people are looking to you
to solve all their problems in 35 minute
627
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:44,700
message and say, look, this,
this may take a lifetime like
628
00:29:44,966 --> 00:29:47,716
but something something that you started
to say that just really sparked
629
00:29:47,716 --> 00:29:49,433
this thought
that we didn't really get to talk about.
630
00:29:49,433 --> 00:29:53,700
But when we're setting up boundaries,
which I think are healthy, I think are
631
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:57,416
necessary, we also have to look, though,
at what is motivating the boundary.
632
00:29:57,450 --> 00:29:57,950
Yeah.
633
00:29:57,950 --> 00:30:00,566
And when we build
boundaries out of bitterness,
634
00:30:01,550 --> 00:30:04,083
it's there's no forgiveness like that.
635
00:30:04,083 --> 00:30:07,800
That's not genuine forgiveness
because you put up the boundary,
636
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,066
not because, look,
637
00:30:10,066 --> 00:30:12,650
I need to protect myself
or I need to protect my family
638
00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:16,200
and even my kids or whatever, you know, So
I'm putting up these boundaries now.
639
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,600
It's up. You screwed up. Yeah.
640
00:30:19,850 --> 00:30:24,083
And I, I need to put this boundary up
because I need some distance
641
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:27,350
from you and that it's
almost like it's the same thing.
642
00:30:27,350 --> 00:30:29,966
But at the motive is is out of bitterness.
643
00:30:29,966 --> 00:30:32,483
It's out of this resentment
and this anger,
644
00:30:32,483 --> 00:30:34,883
which to me just says, well,
you haven't really walked
645
00:30:34,883 --> 00:30:37,883
through that act of forgiveness,
because what we looked at on
646
00:30:37,883 --> 00:30:40,916
Sunday is Paul uses
two different words for forgiveness.
647
00:30:40,916 --> 00:30:43,216
For forgiveness in the Greek.
648
00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:46,616
I didn't tell people what the right words
were because I can't even pronounce them.
649
00:30:46,616 --> 00:30:49,616
It was like Cara's on my right
and something else.
650
00:30:49,616 --> 00:30:53,366
Yeah, I'm not a Greek scholar,
but I know how to research
651
00:30:53,750 --> 00:30:55,133
and that's that's where I found it out.
652
00:30:55,133 --> 00:30:58,400
But you know, the first word
for forgiveness
653
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,450
talks about canceling the debt.
654
00:31:00,450 --> 00:31:01,583
And if I'm putting up
655
00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:05,216
the boundary out of bitterness,
then I have not actually cancel the debt.
656
00:31:05,550 --> 00:31:08,700
I'm using the boundary
as the payment of the debt.
657
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:08,966
Right.
658
00:31:08,966 --> 00:31:11,933
It's like the payment that you have to pay
now because you messed up.
659
00:31:11,933 --> 00:31:14,700
Is this is this barrier that I've put up?
660
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:15,766
Yeah. Yeah.
661
00:31:15,766 --> 00:31:18,050
And so it's just man, it's it's
one of those things where it's
662
00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:22,100
when do you know you're in the right
when you know when you're in the wrong.
663
00:31:22,116 --> 00:31:22,966
What's the Holy Spirit.
664
00:31:22,966 --> 00:31:25,316
That sounds like a whole nother
sermon, man.
665
00:31:25,316 --> 00:31:26,100
We got time.
666
00:31:26,100 --> 00:31:26,900
Yeah. Yeah.
667
00:31:26,900 --> 00:31:29,100
It's like forgiveness out of bitterness.
668
00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:30,833
That's that's,
that's an interesting thought,
669
00:31:30,833 --> 00:31:34,966
because I think that's more common there
than we even know.
670
00:31:35,166 --> 00:31:36,916
Yeah, I'm. I'm.
671
00:31:36,916 --> 00:31:40,700
I'm going to repay what you've done to me
by saying you don't get to
672
00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:41,516
you don't get access.
673
00:31:41,516 --> 00:31:44,100
Well, it's like when my wife is mad at me
and she gives me the silent treatment.
674
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:46,916
Yeah, that's exactly.
Like that is the punishment. Right?
675
00:31:46,916 --> 00:31:49,316
For my crime
is you're going to be quiet. Yeah.
676
00:31:49,316 --> 00:31:53,333
Which when I'm not a talker,
That's kind of a ironic punishment.
677
00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:56,150
Yeah. So I'm like, Oh, we got.
It was very quiet in the house today.
678
00:31:57,683 --> 00:31:58,316
Oh, I know that.
679
00:31:58,316 --> 00:31:59,633
Like.
680
00:31:59,633 --> 00:32:00,750
She's going to be really mad at me.
681
00:32:00,750 --> 00:32:02,750
And here goes.
682
00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:04,816
Please. They'll be mad.
683
00:32:04,816 --> 00:32:08,066
It's interesting
because Katie and I was my wife, Katie.
684
00:32:08,333 --> 00:32:12,083
We were just talking yesterday
about forgiveness and repentance.
685
00:32:12,083 --> 00:32:14,116
Forgiveness versus repentance.
686
00:32:14,116 --> 00:32:19,433
And we were talking about how how we
forgive for the sake of being forgiving.
687
00:32:19,433 --> 00:32:20,933
We forgive for our own health.
688
00:32:20,933 --> 00:32:25,583
We forgive to make sure that we can
we can thrive in the faith
689
00:32:25,583 --> 00:32:28,583
in that God,
God will be pleased with our walk.
690
00:32:29,566 --> 00:32:31,283
Too much is given,
much is required, right?
691
00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:33,150
So God has given us of merging.
692
00:32:33,150 --> 00:32:36,150
He requires us to,
you know, share that same love.
693
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:38,700
But the repentance part is interesting
694
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:41,816
because repentance leads us
to relationship, right?
695
00:32:42,950 --> 00:32:46,916
So goddess forgiveness
and we're walking in forgiveness.
696
00:32:46,916 --> 00:32:50,700
But if we never repent,
then we can never experience
697
00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:53,850
the relationship
that God, that God wants for us.
698
00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:57,233
So in to in layman's terms,
699
00:32:57,416 --> 00:33:00,983
we were we were talking about,
you know, hey, I can forgive you all day,
700
00:33:01,366 --> 00:33:06,050
but unless you come to me and say, hey,
I know that that hurt you, and I know that
701
00:33:07,066 --> 00:33:07,966
that that's something that
702
00:33:07,966 --> 00:33:10,966
won't help our relationship thrive.
703
00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:12,683
I don't want that.
I don't want that for us.
704
00:33:12,683 --> 00:33:15,083
I don't want to displease you.
I don't want to make you cry.
705
00:33:15,083 --> 00:33:16,366
I don't want to make you frustrated.
706
00:33:16,366 --> 00:33:20,333
So I'll try my best
to not do that thing again.
707
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:23,516
And like you said, I'm,
you know, man will fail you.
708
00:33:23,516 --> 00:33:25,250
And sometimes it won't be perfect.
709
00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:26,633
But I'm going to try.
710
00:33:26,633 --> 00:33:29,150
I'm going to strive to. Yeah.
711
00:33:29,150 --> 00:33:31,733
To not do that specific thing again
712
00:33:31,733 --> 00:33:35,033
and that that marriage of forgiveness
and and
713
00:33:35,816 --> 00:33:39,350
and repentance I think goes hand in hand
714
00:33:39,350 --> 00:33:42,350
with the moving forward
in relationship together.
715
00:33:42,416 --> 00:33:45,166
And that's the part
that kind of sparked in my mind
716
00:33:45,166 --> 00:33:46,883
when we were talking about boundaries
yesterday.
717
00:33:46,883 --> 00:33:51,000
Well, I I'm the kind of person
that I love to believe
718
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:55,650
the best in people I will give is
if you tell me you want to get it right,
719
00:33:55,950 --> 00:33:59,366
I will give you that opportunity,
get it right every single time.
720
00:33:59,366 --> 00:34:00,833
So I'm the guy who would like
721
00:34:01,916 --> 00:34:04,733
who who
would take the abuse and just out of it,
722
00:34:04,733 --> 00:34:07,733
just for the sake of love,
you know, Hey, go for it.
723
00:34:08,716 --> 00:34:13,216
But I'm not that guy unless there is
a repentant heart, you know what I mean?
724
00:34:14,366 --> 00:34:18,300
And I think also there's another
perspective of forgiveness as well.
725
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,116
We don't talk about it a lot in church.
726
00:34:20,116 --> 00:34:23,116
We talk about how
when someone does this to you,
727
00:34:23,250 --> 00:34:26,333
but what happens when you do something
that someone else.
728
00:34:26,333 --> 00:34:28,516
Get out of my head, man,
That's exactly what I was about to go.
729
00:34:28,516 --> 00:34:30,466
Yeah. So?
730
00:34:30,466 --> 00:34:32,450
So I have a story.
731
00:34:32,450 --> 00:34:35,866
When I was a kid, I had a best friend
who lived next door to me,
732
00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:38,100
and we we were best friends.
We played every day.
733
00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:39,116
Every day we'd go outside.
734
00:34:39,116 --> 00:34:41,266
We were looking for each other.
735
00:34:41,266 --> 00:34:44,250
And one day I think his dad was a golfer.
736
00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:47,300
So we picked up his dad golf clubs
and we were just in the yard
737
00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:50,766
playing with his clubs and I remember it
738
00:34:50,783 --> 00:34:54,866
like getting situated to hit it, hit
a golf ball.
739
00:34:55,433 --> 00:34:59,433
And I saw
I swung this club with all of my my
740
00:34:59,450 --> 00:35:02,450
I know because I was trying
to hit the golf ball out the yard.
741
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:06,266
I swing it, missed the ball,
and all I heard was, oh.
742
00:35:06,266 --> 00:35:08,000
And I went, Oh, that's weird.
743
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,000
And then I hear this
screaming in the back.
744
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:15,116
I look around and my friend's face
is just like all bloodied up.
745
00:35:15,766 --> 00:35:18,533
So the club hit him right,
right in his cheek.
746
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:22,850
So I think I was every bit
of like 11 years old at the time.
747
00:35:22,850 --> 00:35:26,300
So I'm thinking like,
oh my gosh, I just killed my friend.
748
00:35:27,350 --> 00:35:29,633
So he runs in the house he's bleeding.
749
00:35:29,633 --> 00:35:31,916
Mom is she's going crazy.
750
00:35:31,916 --> 00:35:34,933
And I feel so guilty.
751
00:35:34,933 --> 00:35:37,733
I feel so bad about what just happened.
My mom is upset.
752
00:35:37,733 --> 00:35:40,116
How could you do this? And I'm thinking I.
753
00:35:40,116 --> 00:35:41,450
I didn't even try to do this.
754
00:35:41,450 --> 00:35:44,366
It was a mistake.
755
00:35:44,366 --> 00:35:47,900
But I remember that same exact day
I went back to his house and I was just,
756
00:35:47,933 --> 00:35:48,466
you know.
757
00:35:48,466 --> 00:35:49,700
Oh, man, I'm so sorry.
758
00:35:49,700 --> 00:35:51,750
I didn't mean to do this to you. And.
759
00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:54,233
And he eventually healed from it.
760
00:35:54,233 --> 00:35:55,250
And there was like this
761
00:35:55,250 --> 00:35:58,766
there's this scar, this scar tissue,
this kind of just sitting on his face.
762
00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:03,266
And I remember a few year,
maybe maybe ten years
763
00:36:03,266 --> 00:36:07,100
after after he had moved away
and, you know, moved on with his life.
764
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,266
I remember anything to him
and just seeing him and, uh,
765
00:36:12,233 --> 00:36:14,000
and there it was like nothing that.
766
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,566
Had he still had this scar on his face
that was put there by me,
767
00:36:18,050 --> 00:36:19,883
but he never even mentioned it.
768
00:36:19,883 --> 00:36:22,700
And I'm
and even when I said I'm like, Dang, man.
769
00:36:22,700 --> 00:36:25,466
Yeah. But it was the
it was the repentance.
770
00:36:25,466 --> 00:36:28,650
It was the Hey, man,
I really didn't mean to do that.
771
00:36:28,650 --> 00:36:31,650
And I'll make sure when we play that
we don't
772
00:36:31,916 --> 00:36:34,733
you know,
we don't do anything that causes harm.
773
00:36:34,733 --> 00:36:37,733
And I think that kind of helped us
774
00:36:37,766 --> 00:36:40,916
move past it because he could have easily
said, Yeah, I'm not I'm not
775
00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:42,350
hanging out with that with you.
776
00:36:42,350 --> 00:36:44,266
Yeah, I'm down with you.
You almost killed me.
777
00:36:44,266 --> 00:36:46,733
Like, literally the doctor was like,
778
00:36:46,733 --> 00:36:50,300
you were like inches away
from causing some major damage.
779
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,900
And so it was it was only until, you know,
I realized
780
00:36:53,900 --> 00:36:56,900
with that story, Man, I'm so sorry.
781
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:58,500
I'll never do that again. That he was.
782
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:01,433
He was able to trust me
and we were able to play, you know,
783
00:37:01,433 --> 00:37:04,433
still be best friends,
even with the stitches in his face.
784
00:37:04,433 --> 00:37:04,800
Yeah.
785
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:09,233
You know what's crazy about that, though,
is you had a real world experience of.
786
00:37:09,233 --> 00:37:11,850
Of somebody walking around
with scar tissue because of what you did.
787
00:37:11,850 --> 00:37:12,750
Yeah.
788
00:37:12,750 --> 00:37:16,850
And the reality is there are
there are people walking around
789
00:37:16,850 --> 00:37:20,000
every day now with scars
from what we've done to them.
790
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,550
And they may not be as visible
as your friend Scar,
791
00:37:22,550 --> 00:37:25,100
you know, right in the side of his temple.
All right.
792
00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:29,900
But I mean, how many people in our lives
are walking around with with scars
793
00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:33,266
from from the things that we said,
the things that we the things we didn't do
794
00:37:34,366 --> 00:37:34,966
and like that.
795
00:37:34,966 --> 00:37:38,100
That's something
that we have to talk about.
796
00:37:38,100 --> 00:37:39,266
Repentance. Yeah.
797
00:37:39,266 --> 00:37:43,883
Because what what what fixed it in
your illustration is the repentance.
798
00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:45,200
Right.
799
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:49,650
And it's something that I man,
I almost feel like the modern church
800
00:37:49,650 --> 00:37:54,083
is a little bit guilty of,
of not talking about repentance enough.
801
00:37:54,100 --> 00:37:57,233
We talk about God's love and God's
grace and God's forgiveness.
802
00:37:57,950 --> 00:38:00,950
But I mean, how many of the Scriptures
talk about, yeah, it's
803
00:38:01,016 --> 00:38:03,233
repentance first. Yes.
804
00:38:03,233 --> 00:38:05,933
And then we receive the grace,
then we receive the love.
805
00:38:05,933 --> 00:38:07,283
But if there's no repentance.
806
00:38:07,283 --> 00:38:12,000
Yeah, like he'd yeah,
we have this mentality in modern
807
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,816
Christianity of like we're so awesome
and we're so great, right?
808
00:38:14,816 --> 00:38:15,983
And we are. Yeah.
809
00:38:15,983 --> 00:38:18,600
But we are also at the same time
horrible people. Yeah.
810
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,216
Like we're broken.
811
00:38:20,216 --> 00:38:21,833
We live in a fallen world. Yeah.
812
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:25,250
And without the grace of God,
you know, like, who are we?
813
00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:25,650
Yeah.
814
00:38:25,650 --> 00:38:30,866
And so we have to operate and walk in
and live in in repentance.
815
00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:31,700
Yeah.
816
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:33,566
And that's both to God.
817
00:38:33,566 --> 00:38:36,316
And I think that that's where it starts.
Yeah.
818
00:38:36,316 --> 00:38:39,316
You know, talking with the guy, you know,
where does this begin, You know,
819
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:40,166
when I've.
820
00:38:40,166 --> 00:38:42,916
Because that's the question
is we really address on Sunday.
821
00:38:42,916 --> 00:38:45,450
You know what happens
when you've been hurt by somebody,
822
00:38:45,450 --> 00:38:47,933
What happens when you feel guilty
about what you've done.
823
00:38:47,933 --> 00:38:49,166
But how do you amend the relationship
824
00:38:49,166 --> 00:38:51,300
with somebody else that you know,
you're the guilty party.
825
00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:54,300
You're they have pain, right,
because of what you did.
826
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:59,866
And so it starts,
I believe, with repentance first to God.
827
00:38:59,866 --> 00:39:00,900
Yeah.
828
00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:03,683
Then, yeah, you got to deal with the guilt
in your own life.
829
00:39:03,683 --> 00:39:04,583
But I think the healthy way
830
00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:07,583
of dealing with the guilt in your own
life is to actually go to that person
831
00:39:08,266 --> 00:39:12,766
for repentance, understanding
that everything that we taught on Sunday
832
00:39:12,766 --> 00:39:18,166
about, you know, boundaries and, you know,
forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation.
833
00:39:18,416 --> 00:39:23,450
If you go to that person in repentance,
expecting or demanding that they're like,
834
00:39:23,450 --> 00:39:26,966
you screwed up, you cheated on your wife,
but you're sorry about it
835
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,766
and you're repentant and now you're
expecting them to stay with you.
836
00:39:30,950 --> 00:39:32,900
You know,
it may not work that way. I like.
837
00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:35,333
Yeah, exactly.
But you don't have the right to them.
838
00:39:35,333 --> 00:39:37,166
Like you gave up the right. Yeah.
839
00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:38,333
When you made that mistake.
840
00:39:39,916 --> 00:39:42,916
Even calling it a mistake, it's probably,
you know, it's like, oops, yeah.
841
00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:47,483
No, you had multiple phone calls and,
like, you set up like there was a plan.
842
00:39:47,550 --> 00:39:49,350
Yeah, Like,
843
00:39:49,350 --> 00:39:52,500
yeah, I it when I was a youth pastor,
I heard a guy talking about,
844
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,800
you know,
he had a teenagers in his youth ministry
845
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,800
that got pregnant and he, he asked them
846
00:39:59,333 --> 00:40:01,666
or they, they had come to him
and said they had had sex.
847
00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:03,300
They didn't get pregnant.
They had had sex.
848
00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,233
And the first question he asked was,
because they're like, it was a mistake.
849
00:40:06,233 --> 00:40:08,616
And we're we're so sorry.
He was like, Did you use a condom?
850
00:40:08,616 --> 00:40:09,800
I was like, Yeah, yeah, of course.
851
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,300
You know, we're going to
we're going to use safe sex.
852
00:40:11,300 --> 00:40:13,100
And he's like, Man,
it broke my heart even more.
853
00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:14,550
It's like you planned, you planned it.
854
00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:17,633
You plan to do this
like this is not a oops.
855
00:40:17,633 --> 00:40:21,116
I slipped like
like you thought this out in advance.
856
00:40:21,266 --> 00:40:23,633
And so after I mean, that's
that's our sin.
857
00:40:23,633 --> 00:40:25,583
Like,
yeah, we're not just fallen into it. We.
858
00:40:25,583 --> 00:40:26,866
We premeditated. Yeah.
859
00:40:26,866 --> 00:40:29,750
We put the pieces together
and we planned it out.
860
00:40:29,750 --> 00:40:35,033
And so we have to operate in,
um, in repentance.
861
00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:35,300
Yeah.
862
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:39,200
To, to go to God
and say I am repenting of this thing,
863
00:40:39,683 --> 00:40:41,750
which isn't just saying I'm sorry.
864
00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:42,983
It's a change of mind.
865
00:40:42,983 --> 00:40:46,050
It's a change of direction
as I was heading in this path towards sin
866
00:40:46,366 --> 00:40:49,850
and I'm doing an about face, I'm
turning the other way and I'm following
867
00:40:49,850 --> 00:40:50,783
after righteousness.
868
00:40:50,783 --> 00:40:54,200
So if the opposite of sin is
righteousness, I was heading towards sin.
869
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,433
Now I'm heading towards righteousness.
870
00:40:55,433 --> 00:40:56,900
I'm changing the behavior of
871
00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:59,633
if that behavior was
because I was going to the wrong bars
872
00:40:59,633 --> 00:41:03,900
or going to the wrong place or whatever,
I'm not going to go to that place anymore.
873
00:41:03,900 --> 00:41:06,500
If it was because I was on my computer
in a wrong,
874
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,866
I'm not going to touch that computer
in that way ever again.
875
00:41:08,866 --> 00:41:10,916
Like I'm
I'm going to change that behavior.
876
00:41:10,916 --> 00:41:14,416
But then we also have to go and repent
to that person and just say, look,
877
00:41:14,416 --> 00:41:15,650
there's there's no excuse.
878
00:41:15,650 --> 00:41:20,816
I'm not here to say I'm sorry if you feel
right that I did something wrong.
879
00:41:20,816 --> 00:41:23,633
No, no, no, no, no. I'm
sorry for what I did. Absolutely.
880
00:41:23,633 --> 00:41:26,000
And even in the case of your story,
you know,
881
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,166
you didn't
intentionally hurt this person. Right?
882
00:41:28,166 --> 00:41:30,983
And maybe what you did to this person,
it was unintentional.
883
00:41:30,983 --> 00:41:33,600
Yeah, but you still have to apologize.
884
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,616
Yeah,
And it's still up to you to go and repent.
885
00:41:36,650 --> 00:41:37,166
Yeah.
886
00:41:37,166 --> 00:41:42,150
And to say, Look, I was careless and
it wasn't intentional, but I was careless.
887
00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:42,750
Right? Right.
888
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:46,316
And so I have to apologize
for my careless behavior.
889
00:41:46,316 --> 00:41:46,766
Yeah.
890
00:41:46,766 --> 00:41:48,350
And I want to promise you, I'm.
891
00:41:48,350 --> 00:41:50,783
I'm going to set in these guardrails.
892
00:41:50,783 --> 00:41:52,066
I'm going to set in these boundaries.
893
00:41:52,066 --> 00:41:55,433
I'm going to do these things
so that I'm no longer careless with you.
894
00:41:55,466 --> 00:41:56,516
Yeah, Yeah.
895
00:41:56,516 --> 00:41:57,733
I think that's so good. It.
896
00:41:57,733 --> 00:41:59,783
It kind of brings to them.
897
00:41:59,783 --> 00:42:01,250
I think you touched on it.
898
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:05,366
The church doesn't talk enough
about repentance and repentance is
899
00:42:06,416 --> 00:42:06,866
I feel like
900
00:42:06,866 --> 00:42:10,016
it's it should be just a cultural norm.
901
00:42:10,016 --> 00:42:11,866
We should repentance
902
00:42:11,866 --> 00:42:15,866
should almost be like breathing
because we're always in repentance to God.
903
00:42:15,866 --> 00:42:21,383
I mean, God is so holy and and and we were
we were shaped and formed into iniquity.
904
00:42:21,383 --> 00:42:26,183
So really our our nature should always be
God, God, God I like I'm sorry.
905
00:42:26,183 --> 00:42:26,566
I'm sorry.
906
00:42:26,566 --> 00:42:30,916
I I'm not even for the things
that I don't know that I've committed.
907
00:42:31,966 --> 00:42:35,966
So it is interesting that you would bring
that up because it's not really common
908
00:42:35,966 --> 00:42:40,250
in Christian culture for Christians
to walk around in repentance.
909
00:42:40,250 --> 00:42:42,900
Yeah, like, well,
we'll buy a new pair of jeans
910
00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:46,350
and if somebody steps on them,
you know, we ready to fight,
911
00:42:46,433 --> 00:42:49,650
you know, and if someone says
they're sorry, we still going?
912
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:49,916
Yeah.
913
00:42:49,916 --> 00:42:52,916
Just make sure you watch yourself,
you know, instead of going, you know,
914
00:42:52,950 --> 00:42:54,350
it's, it's, it's totally cool.
915
00:42:54,350 --> 00:42:56,933
They just they're just Jordans.
I can buy another pair.
916
00:42:58,616 --> 00:43:00,116
But it is interesting
917
00:43:00,116 --> 00:43:04,816
because repentance isn't a big part
of our culture when it when God like you
918
00:43:04,816 --> 00:43:09,016
said, the Bible tells us how we should
always turn from our from our wicked ways.
919
00:43:09,016 --> 00:43:12,766
And I love what David said when he
when he said God
920
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,216
created me a clean heart
like renewing me or right spirit.
921
00:43:16,216 --> 00:43:20,366
So let me make sure that my heart
and spirit is right with you.
922
00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:24,050
And and also let me tell you
how important you are.
923
00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:28,516
You're I'm our relationship is so cast me
not away from your presence.
924
00:43:28,516 --> 00:43:29,633
Don't take your Holy Spirit.
925
00:43:29,633 --> 00:43:32,716
Because if you do that, what? Who am I?
926
00:43:32,716 --> 00:43:34,433
What am I going to do?
How am I going to live?
927
00:43:34,433 --> 00:43:36,683
How am I going to breathe? You know?
928
00:43:36,683 --> 00:43:38,866
So I think, you know, even in our walk
929
00:43:38,866 --> 00:43:44,250
as believers with each other, we are,
I think, God wants
930
00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:48,600
his heart for us is to be unified
the body of Christ, the church.
931
00:43:48,983 --> 00:43:54,566
So if I'm offending my my brother,
whether that be intentionally intentional,
932
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,983
it should be natural for me to say
that I find you like I'm
933
00:43:58,283 --> 00:44:01,666
you know, let's let's talk
about how to get an offended and I'm sorry
934
00:44:01,666 --> 00:44:06,083
I apologize that like how do we because if
if if our relationship isn't good
935
00:44:06,566 --> 00:44:09,750
then we're not unified
and that's not how the body works.
936
00:44:09,750 --> 00:44:12,600
So to that, just that being
937
00:44:13,700 --> 00:44:14,516
and being
938
00:44:14,516 --> 00:44:18,383
bothered by our brother or sister,
being walking in the fence
939
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,800
is something that going back to my father
940
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,016
I just had to grow in.
941
00:44:24,016 --> 00:44:26,716
You know, it's one thing to say
honor your mother and father.
942
00:44:26,716 --> 00:44:29,366
And I and I would say, you know,
I know my father. That's my dad.
943
00:44:29,366 --> 00:44:29,933
I love him.
944
00:44:29,933 --> 00:44:32,633
You know, I may not
I may not talk to him or.
945
00:44:32,633 --> 00:44:39,166
Yeah, but then it was the okay
after giving you and you you've said,
946
00:44:39,166 --> 00:44:42,900
you know, hey, I miss my son
and I wish I had done things better.
947
00:44:43,250 --> 00:44:45,800
And I'm and I'm busy going,
you know. Yeah, but you could.
948
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,683
You were a deacon in the church
and you taught me that
949
00:44:48,683 --> 00:44:50,250
you should, you should have known.
950
00:44:50,250 --> 00:44:53,100
And years go by. Yeah.
951
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:53,666
So finally,
952
00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:58,216
when I get to the place of true
forgiveness, I had to repent to my father.
953
00:44:58,366 --> 00:45:01,283
Yeah. For responding to him. Yeah.
954
00:45:01,283 --> 00:45:04,516
And and in a un-Christian or Christ
like way,
955
00:45:05,033 --> 00:45:08,000
because Christ doesn't go,
Yeah, you messed up and I forgive you.
956
00:45:09,050 --> 00:45:10,800
But I'm going to hold this over him
forever.
957
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,500
Yeah, yeah that's that's not
that's not the way.
958
00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:15,866
That's, that's Paul's
second word for forgiveness is to let go.
959
00:45:15,866 --> 00:45:17,216
Yeah. Yeah.
960
00:45:17,216 --> 00:45:20,033
So it
961
00:45:20,033 --> 00:45:23,366
honestly, it was
it was definitely a freeing, uh,
962
00:45:24,150 --> 00:45:28,400
a freeing moment in my life
to truly forgive my father and to see that
963
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:33,266
repentance also goes both ways,
You know, um, you you don't want to hurt.
964
00:45:33,650 --> 00:45:35,866
You don't want to hurt me,
and I don't want to hurt you.
965
00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:38,450
And we both did things to hurt each other.
966
00:45:38,450 --> 00:45:41,716
So let's, let's repent to each other
and first of all, I think
967
00:45:41,933 --> 00:45:45,566
one thing you did say
is let's make sure we get our relationship
968
00:45:45,566 --> 00:45:50,300
with God in the right perspective first,
because ultimately
969
00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:55,066
we have to know that these things affect
God above all things.
970
00:45:55,583 --> 00:45:58,316
And he's the one that we've offended.
Right.
971
00:45:58,316 --> 00:45:59,116
Right.
972
00:45:59,116 --> 00:46:01,816
And and forgiveness is also is
973
00:46:01,816 --> 00:46:04,950
a God is a God thing is like God language.
974
00:46:05,450 --> 00:46:08,816
Uh, so like
when when when David is repenting
975
00:46:08,816 --> 00:46:12,016
for his sins with Bathsheba
and all of that mess,
976
00:46:12,450 --> 00:46:16,283
if you read the Psalms that he writes
after that moment or in that moment,
977
00:46:17,116 --> 00:46:21,833
he even says directly against you,
have I said, Oh Lord, yes.
978
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:22,500
Yeah.
979
00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:25,500
And it's like, Nah, man, you like you.
980
00:46:25,883 --> 00:46:28,766
You murdered that guy
and you slept with that woman.
981
00:46:28,766 --> 00:46:30,450
That wasn't your wife.
982
00:46:30,450 --> 00:46:33,116
But now he recognized any time
I'm sinning.
983
00:46:33,116 --> 00:46:36,000
Yeah, any time I'm
doing something that I shouldn't be doing,
984
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,233
the first offense is my offense
against God.
985
00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:40,066
Yeah.
986
00:46:40,066 --> 00:46:43,883
And so I think that Christians,
we have to watch the way we approach God.
987
00:46:43,950 --> 00:46:46,950
Yeah, I know a lot of Christians
that when they pray,
988
00:46:47,216 --> 00:46:51,083
it's straight to my
my list of things that I need.
989
00:46:51,166 --> 00:46:54,016
Yeah. And then there are some Christians
that have matured beyond that, right?
990
00:46:54,016 --> 00:46:57,666
And so they go, okay, I'm going,
I'm going to worship how great God is.
991
00:46:57,683 --> 00:46:59,116
You know, we're going to enter his gates
992
00:46:59,116 --> 00:47:01,516
with Thanksgiving and prays
I'm going to magnify God,
993
00:47:01,516 --> 00:47:03,683
and then I'm going to give him my list.
Right? Right.
994
00:47:03,683 --> 00:47:07,200
And that's why I love like we teach on
this a lot, the Tabernacle Prayer,
995
00:47:07,883 --> 00:47:09,750
because it's this it's
this model of prayer.
996
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:12,950
This this that we take that
it starts with magnifying God.
997
00:47:12,983 --> 00:47:15,316
Yeah.
But then it goes directly into repentance.
998
00:47:15,316 --> 00:47:18,683
Before I'm ever asking God for anything,
I need to own up to what I've done.
999
00:47:18,716 --> 00:47:19,366
Yeah.
1000
00:47:19,366 --> 00:47:21,200
And I'm going to glorify God.
1001
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,550
I'm going to magnify his name.
1002
00:47:22,550 --> 00:47:24,500
I'm going to say, God,
you're awesome. Yeah.
1003
00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:27,900
And in comparison to how awesome you are,
I'm sinful.
1004
00:47:27,900 --> 00:47:28,516
Yeah.
1005
00:47:28,516 --> 00:47:31,850
And I've seen in these areas
and I need your your grace
1006
00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:33,300
and I need your forgiveness.
1007
00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:38,333
And before I ever get into the you know,
I need $1,000,000 and I need to, you know,
1008
00:47:38,333 --> 00:47:42,533
bless my kids and, you know, help my wife
to not be mad at me after this podcast.
1009
00:47:42,533 --> 00:47:45,533
And, you know,
before I get into all of that stuff, like
1010
00:47:45,616 --> 00:47:48,050
we need to approach God in that way.
1011
00:47:48,050 --> 00:47:50,900
First, we magnify him, then we repent.
1012
00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:51,616
Yeah.
1013
00:47:51,616 --> 00:47:54,166
And if that's our behavior,
if that's our model,
1014
00:47:54,166 --> 00:47:57,466
every time we approach
God is I'm going to take a moment here
1015
00:47:57,916 --> 00:47:59,333
and even repent for this.
1016
00:47:59,333 --> 00:48:00,983
I don't even remember what I did.
1017
00:48:00,983 --> 00:48:03,716
But I know that, you know,
this week has been busy.
1018
00:48:03,716 --> 00:48:06,266
I know that my thoughts
have probably been in the wrong places.
1019
00:48:06,266 --> 00:48:09,266
So, yeah, I just I. Forgive me.
Yeah, yeah.
1020
00:48:09,416 --> 00:48:11,116
And so many so many areas.
1021
00:48:12,450 --> 00:48:13,066
So many areas.
1022
00:48:13,066 --> 00:48:16,066
We don't
realize where we're we're failing.
1023
00:48:16,066 --> 00:48:21,116
It's just to have that just that template
of, of repentance at all times
1024
00:48:21,116 --> 00:48:24,300
that I think is the safest place we can
we can all be.
1025
00:48:25,350 --> 00:48:28,500
But I also think, you know, showing that,
1026
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:32,266
showing that same repentant
heart and also,
1027
00:48:32,483 --> 00:48:36,050
you know, expressing the same forgiveness
we've we've received from God
1028
00:48:36,983 --> 00:48:39,983
when we
when we have to reflect that to others.
1029
00:48:40,350 --> 00:48:43,366
I think it's important that we know
that is not in our own
1030
00:48:43,766 --> 00:48:46,916
flesh, it's not in our own ability
to forgive other people.
1031
00:48:46,916 --> 00:48:49,966
We always have to connect
to the source of forgiveness,
1032
00:48:50,783 --> 00:48:53,933
because when we when we forgive,
we like we talked about earlier,
1033
00:48:53,933 --> 00:48:57,166
we tend to put these different
and these different,
1034
00:48:58,766 --> 00:49:00,533
I don't know, things you have to do to
1035
00:49:00,533 --> 00:49:03,383
to earn my forgiveness,
that I need to see this and see this
1036
00:49:03,383 --> 00:49:07,500
and see that instead of us, you know, just
connecting to the source of forgiveness
1037
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:10,500
and allowing the Holy Spirit
to give us the power.
1038
00:49:11,483 --> 00:49:14,266
I know we talk about,
you know, the power of the Holy Ghost,
1039
00:49:14,266 --> 00:49:17,100
the power of the Holy Spirit,
and in relying on Him,
1040
00:49:17,100 --> 00:49:20,100
that's one of the supernatural powers
that we have
1041
00:49:20,250 --> 00:49:24,616
when people do things to us to be able
to, you know, forgive.
1042
00:49:24,766 --> 00:49:27,766
So I love that
1043
00:49:27,900 --> 00:49:30,900
I love how how Top Gun ended.
1044
00:49:31,133 --> 00:49:35,600
You said, you know, playing, playing,
have make it be football football.
1045
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,466
It was girls
volleyball in the first movie.
1046
00:49:37,466 --> 00:49:39,566
So they had to change it up
a little bit. Right.
1047
00:49:39,566 --> 00:49:42,683
So so it was
it was cool because for me it was
1048
00:49:43,216 --> 00:49:47,183
you seeing the relationship happen
through it.
1049
00:49:47,183 --> 00:49:49,883
I don't think I don't think
repentance quite happened.
1050
00:49:49,883 --> 00:49:52,883
I think it was sort of like,
Yeah, yeah, you're my guy.
1051
00:49:52,883 --> 00:49:54,866
We're just going to let it
go. Yeah, we're just going to let it go.
1052
00:49:55,916 --> 00:49:58,216
So, I mean,
1053
00:49:58,216 --> 00:49:58,650
I don't.
1054
00:49:58,650 --> 00:49:59,600
I know, I know.
1055
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,600
It was like tough trying
to put a sermon together around.
1056
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:03,900
Yeah, we're just going to.
1057
00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:04,816
Yeah,
1058
00:50:04,816 --> 00:50:08,350
There is a scene that I kind of love the
like after they both crash their planes
1059
00:50:09,050 --> 00:50:09,650
because that's.
1060
00:50:09,650 --> 00:50:10,716
That's how they do this.
1061
00:50:10,716 --> 00:50:14,400
Like, right, Like they,
they run up to each other and I'm sure
1062
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,933
just shoves Rooster to the ground
and it's like, I'm mad.
1063
00:50:17,933 --> 00:50:18,616
I'm mad at you.
1064
00:50:18,616 --> 00:50:21,233
Why did you do that? And I was like,
I just did what you told me to do.
1065
00:50:21,233 --> 00:50:22,400
And he's like.
1066
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:23,566
Okay, okay.
1067
00:50:23,566 --> 00:50:24,566
It's good to see you.
1068
00:50:24,566 --> 00:50:27,166
Good to see you, too. Like that.
That's like the right right.
1069
00:50:27,166 --> 00:50:31,766
That is the big moment of reconciliation
is I'm going to push you and yell at you
1070
00:50:31,766 --> 00:50:33,900
and you're going to say, Yeah,
but I just did what you told me to do.
1071
00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:35,866
Okay, cool. Yeah. And it's.
1072
00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:36,900
Hollywood. You got to do better.
1073
00:50:38,366 --> 00:50:39,050
I mean, better, right?
1074
00:50:39,050 --> 00:50:41,000
If forgiveness was that easy,
it would be dope.
1075
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,600
You know.
1076
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,300
Like, can you imagine, though,
if forgiveness does require you
1077
00:50:45,300 --> 00:50:46,966
to shove somebody to the ground? Yeah.
1078
00:50:46,966 --> 00:50:48,533
Yeah. Let's all just trash everybody.
1079
00:50:48,533 --> 00:50:49,466
Yeah, we're good. Yeah.
1080
00:50:49,466 --> 00:50:50,566
Yeah, I think.
1081
00:50:50,566 --> 00:50:52,616
I think that may be the man's way. If.
1082
00:50:52,616 --> 00:50:53,150
I think if.
1083
00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:56,600
If you saw two men forgiving each other,
I think that's why they did it that way.
1084
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,300
Like, I think Isaiah was on here
talking about how you know,
1085
00:50:59,300 --> 00:51:02,033
and when him and his brothers would fight,
you know. Yeah. Punch each other.
1086
00:51:02,033 --> 00:51:03,016
Yeah. Move on down.
1087
00:51:03,016 --> 00:51:05,600
Like it's pretty, pretty manly.
1088
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,500
Yeah.
1089
00:51:07,500 --> 00:51:10,733
But yeah,
the top guy Top Gun was a great movie.
1090
00:51:10,733 --> 00:51:15,650
I, I, I have to say, when I did
watch the movie, it
1091
00:51:16,283 --> 00:51:19,850
kind of did make me excited
because one of my secret passions
1092
00:51:19,850 --> 00:51:23,483
is I love like,
I was a motorcycle enthusiast.
1093
00:51:23,516 --> 00:51:24,866
Oh, really? So, you.
1094
00:51:24,866 --> 00:51:26,783
Know this side of Derek? Yeah, sport.
1095
00:51:26,783 --> 00:51:28,400
I was in a motorcycle club.
1096
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:29,866
I had a whole vest, and,
1097
00:51:29,866 --> 00:51:33,816
you know, I even shattered
my ankle popping wheelies, and I was.
1098
00:51:34,066 --> 00:51:35,116
Yeah, I was that guy.
1099
00:51:35,116 --> 00:51:36,383
You're a Kawasaki guy.
1100
00:51:36,383 --> 00:51:38,550
Are you. A Suzuki? Suzuki.
1101
00:51:38,550 --> 00:51:40,283
Suzuki Jigsaw 1000.
1102
00:51:40,283 --> 00:51:41,666
I started with a 750.
1103
00:51:41,666 --> 00:51:43,283
That's what shattered my ankle.
1104
00:51:43,283 --> 00:51:47,116
And my mom was like, Yeah,
you'll never get back on another bike.
1105
00:51:47,116 --> 00:51:48,766
And I was like, Oh, yeah.
1106
00:51:48,766 --> 00:51:51,983
So I got a bigger bike after
I shattered my ankle and.
1107
00:51:52,366 --> 00:51:55,516
And the Lord saw fit
that that bike will get stolen.
1108
00:51:55,516 --> 00:51:58,733
And I went, Okay, Lord, I, I concur.
1109
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:00,750
You got it from here.
1110
00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:04,516
But just seeing the,
just seeing those jets like zoom
1111
00:52:04,516 --> 00:52:08,400
through those mountains that like
the adrenaline for me was like, oh man.
1112
00:52:08,933 --> 00:52:12,500
So if you see me pulling up on the bike
soon, know that it was because.
1113
00:52:12,500 --> 00:52:14,900
You it inspired. I'm going back.
1114
00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,816
Do I need to apologize to Katie?
1115
00:52:16,816 --> 00:52:18,983
Do I need to repent to her? Maybe my mom.
1116
00:52:21,316 --> 00:52:22,666
That's all right.
1117
00:52:22,666 --> 00:52:23,666
Well, this has been cool.
1118
00:52:23,666 --> 00:52:26,966
I'm so glad that we finally got a chance
to to hang out on the podcast.
1119
00:52:26,966 --> 00:52:29,816
We'll bring you back again
another time. Yeah, let's do it again.
1120
00:52:29,816 --> 00:52:30,300
Yeah, man.
1121
00:52:30,300 --> 00:52:32,633
Thanks a lot. All right.
We're going to see you next week.
1122
00:52:32,633 --> 00:52:34,466
We're we're going from Tom Cruise
1123
00:52:34,466 --> 00:52:38,216
to Tom Hanks because we're looking
at a man called Otto, which is a movie
1124
00:52:38,216 --> 00:52:42,150
I never even heard of until certain
planning started talking about it.
1125
00:52:42,150 --> 00:52:43,366
And it's it's actually pretty cool.
1126
00:52:43,366 --> 00:52:46,283
So, yeah,
we'll be back next week. Take it easy.
00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:14,266
Hey, welcome to Between Sermons,
2
00:00:14,266 --> 00:00:18,016
where we are continuing the conversation
from our Sunday message.
3
00:00:18,466 --> 00:00:21,466
As always, you don't have to have listened
to the Sunday sermon
4
00:00:21,616 --> 00:00:23,633
to get anything out of this podcast.
It could help, though.
5
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:27,883
So if you want to check out that message,
it will be in the the show notes for you.
6
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:33,000
But today I have a very special guest,
a Pastor Derrick Greaves.
7
00:00:33,016 --> 00:00:34,950
How you doing, man? Good, man. Good.
8
00:00:34,950 --> 00:00:37,133
I'm honored to be in front of you.
Hey, this is. This is fun.
9
00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:38,100
So this is Derrick.
10
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:42,050
Is he and his wife
are the newest pastors on staff here.
11
00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:44,750
So it's taken a little while
to get you in the chair.
12
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:47,416
But now that we finally cornered
you. Yeah.
13
00:00:47,416 --> 00:00:49,650
Oh, this is going to be fun.
14
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,200
You are a musician extraordinaire.
15
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,400
Some would say.
16
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,300
I would say I'm just a basic piano player.
17
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,883
Trying to figure things out.
Still trying to figure it out now.
18
00:00:58,883 --> 00:01:01,316
But it's awesome to be able to
have you not just on the team,
19
00:01:01,316 --> 00:01:04,050
but to be able to to sit across from you
and hang out a little bit.
20
00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:05,883
Absolutely. As we talk about movies.
21
00:01:05,883 --> 00:01:07,333
Yeah. Like, I don't know.
22
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,333
I think for the next couple of weeks
this is kind of a movie podcast
23
00:01:10,516 --> 00:01:13,433
in addition to a between sermons
24
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:16,433
conversation about what
what we talked about on Sunday.
25
00:01:16,433 --> 00:01:20,300
So we're in a series, for those of you
that don't know, called at the Movies.
26
00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:24,016
We've been doing this
since I think we counted the other day.
27
00:01:24,016 --> 00:01:26,900
It's like for 20 years or something crazy.
28
00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:27,833
We've been doing it for a long time.
29
00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:31,800
We're basically we take some
some popular movies
30
00:01:32,566 --> 00:01:34,016
and we don't try and preach the movie.
31
00:01:34,016 --> 00:01:35,550
We try and preach a biblical principle.
32
00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:38,183
And it's really it's
what Jesus would do, right?
33
00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:42,500
Jesus, when he wanted to get a really deep
spiritual truth across to his audience.
34
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:45,650
Nine times out of ten,
he would tell a story.
35
00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:46,350
Right.
36
00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:46,733
And it was
37
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:50,483
the story would kind of get people
to kind of lean in and attached to it.
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00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:53,483
And then he would drop these, like,
spiritual nuggets on them
39
00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:56,450
that sometimes they walked away,
still scratching their heads.
40
00:01:56,450 --> 00:02:00,500
But it was it was a great,
effective way of bringing the gospel.
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00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:04,016
And so we do that
and we let Hollywood be the storytellers.
42
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:06,466
And sometimes they do an amazing job.
43
00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:08,683
Sometimes they do a horrible job.
44
00:02:08,683 --> 00:02:11,800
And but even in the bad jobs,
they give us kind of a
45
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,783
I don't know, the highlight, the path
that we can we can find scripture for.
46
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,633
Right. And so that's kind of what we did.
47
00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:20,716
So our movie
this week was Top Gun Maverick, Top. Gun.
48
00:02:20,816 --> 00:02:21,916
Sequel to
49
00:02:23,066 --> 00:02:24,416
Tom Cruise's best movie.
50
00:02:24,416 --> 00:02:26,366
I think. I don't know
what would be better.
51
00:02:26,366 --> 00:02:27,150
Mission Impossible.
52
00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:29,100
I'm a Mission impossible guy.
53
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:30,050
Yeah. Top Gun.
54
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:33,050
I didn't get into Top Gun
until I think last year.
55
00:02:33,066 --> 00:02:33,466
Okay.
56
00:02:33,466 --> 00:02:37,766
And the way I got into it,
a lot of people were recommending
57
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:42,300
the Maverick movie, and I went,
I never saw the first one
58
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:45,383
because I wasn't really into Top Gun
in the way
59
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it was introduced
to me was by a bunch of women.
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So it was you got to see this movie.
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You got to see this might not be the best
selling action.
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00:02:52,150 --> 00:02:54,566
Right. Right. So I'm a I'm an action guy.
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So if I have a bunch of women saying
you need to watch Top Gun, I'm like, Yeah,
64
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I probably don't want to see that.
65
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,966
So it took me maybe
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I think I think it was maybe four months
to actually pick it up and watch it.
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And I went,
Oh, man, it's a it's an excellent movie.
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Yeah. So I'm a believer, you know? So.
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Mission Impossible.
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Tom Cruise for me is is that's peak.
71
00:03:14,483 --> 00:03:15,766
Yeah that's I think that's.
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There's a new one coming out soon
to write.
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00:03:18,083 --> 00:03:20,750
A new mission
impossible yet excited about that one.
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Okay so is that your genre
then action movies like if it's just Derek
75
00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:28,466
and it's Movie Night and Katie
lets you pick, what are you picking?
76
00:03:28,466 --> 00:03:30,600
I'm picking action all day. Yeah.
77
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,666
Cars blowing
up, people flying, people fighting people.
78
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,983
I hate to say it, but I don't.
79
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:39,950
We don't like to celebrate.
Celebrate death.
80
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:40,700
But if it's.
81
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:42,683
If it's pretty violent, I'm with it.
82
00:03:43,916 --> 00:03:44,966
I'm right there with it.
83
00:03:44,966 --> 00:03:47,000
Yeah.
My go to is always going to be action.
84
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,100
My wife is always these telenovelas
and rom coms and all that,
85
00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:53,216
but I'll run away from it
if I'm holding the controller.
86
00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:54,416
Yeah.
87
00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:56,966
We're going to action of some guys. Yeah.
88
00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:57,466
Yeah. No.
89
00:03:57,466 --> 00:03:59,750
So are you, are you big into movies?
90
00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:01,916
Is that something
you do on a regular basis?
91
00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:06,833
I would consider myself a movie
buff is because,
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00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:11,333
I mean, there's so many different genres
that I don't watch that I can, you know,
93
00:04:11,366 --> 00:04:15,300
you can say that I'm not a movie buff, but
when it comes to action, like, I can go.
94
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,033
I can go as far as you. Want to go.
95
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:17,816
Yeah, yeah.
96
00:04:17,816 --> 00:04:20,933
Because last week
we had my parents on the show
97
00:04:20,933 --> 00:04:24,316
and they're the only thing they do
for their day off
98
00:04:24,716 --> 00:04:27,600
for as long as I can
remember, was go to the movies.
99
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:27,983
Yeah.
100
00:04:27,983 --> 00:04:30,983
Like they have seen
some of the worst movies ever
101
00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,600
just because it was the only thing
102
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,250
at the theater
at the time that they hadn't seen.
103
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:35,550
Like, can you even imagine that?
104
00:04:35,550 --> 00:04:38,183
Like,
I've never looked at the listing of movies
105
00:04:38,183 --> 00:04:40,966
at the theater and gone, Oh, man,
I've seen all of these. Right?
106
00:04:40,966 --> 00:04:43,666
Right. Like, this is like,
that's just never happened to me.
107
00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:45,116
That is absolutely happen to them.
108
00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:46,316
Like, they're like, Well,
109
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we can't go to the movies this week
because we've seen everything, right?
110
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,616
It reminds me of a time when I was young
and we used to do this thing, and
111
00:04:52,966 --> 00:04:56,816
I hope not to be judged by this,
but we will watch one movie.
112
00:04:57,166 --> 00:05:01,016
And if we if once that movie was over,
we would just hop to and.
113
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,266
Oh, yeah, yeah.
114
00:05:02,266 --> 00:05:05,066
So I remember going through that,
and I remember one time
115
00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:08,816
we almost made it to all the movies,
which was pretty.
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00:05:09,116 --> 00:05:10,350
That's a long it's. Pretty criminal.
117
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:11,716
But you know what?
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00:05:11,716 --> 00:05:15,466
They are free, Free same day every day.
119
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,150
So the sad thing is, I can't even claim
120
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:21,266
that's pretty safe days
because I actually did that with my wife.
121
00:05:21,566 --> 00:05:22,766
Yeah, that's a great song.
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00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:23,700
And so.
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00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:26,033
So, yeah, we were newlyweds.
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00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:28,216
We we definitely did the theater. Yeah.
125
00:05:28,216 --> 00:05:31,800
It was like charging 20 bucks for a thing,
a popcorn and watching two movies the
126
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,816
day the. Three of.
127
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,333
Us just walking from one to the next,
128
00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:38,666
we'd look at the movie times and be like,
I hate this one's 2 hours.
129
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:40,733
It starts at 11.
130
00:05:40,733 --> 00:05:42,050
There's this movie at one.
131
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:42,966
We can totally do it.
132
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:45,966
Yeah, Yeah. Okay.
133
00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:48,150
Are you a sneak snacks
134
00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:51,150
into the movie theater guy? Uh.
135
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,700
Not really.
136
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:57,200
I'm. I love going to the to the counter
and ordering the popcorn.
137
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:58,133
The movie theater.
138
00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,566
Popcorn is probably the best popcorn
you can get.
139
00:06:00,566 --> 00:06:02,150
Okay, So.
140
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:04,816
So, you know, popcorn,
I definitely go to the counter,
141
00:06:04,816 --> 00:06:07,816
but the candy, I may.
142
00:06:07,816 --> 00:06:12,750
I may still kind of linger in the sneak
into the theater situation because,
143
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:16,366
I mean, you pay $5 for a box of candy
and go to the dollar store and.
144
00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:18,083
Same the same exact.
145
00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:19,250
Same exact box.
146
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,416
So it just doesn't make sense.
147
00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:23,150
You know,
we're being robbed at the movie theater.
148
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:26,250
So if I had to give a confessional,
149
00:06:26,716 --> 00:06:29,333
I've kind of gotten away from
the movie theater experience.
150
00:06:30,866 --> 00:06:32,633
One, because
151
00:06:32,633 --> 00:06:36,416
the movies you walk away from the movies
spending about $1,000, it.
152
00:06:36,416 --> 00:06:36,983
Feels like.
153
00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:39,383
It feels like $1,000, you know,
and then take.
154
00:06:39,383 --> 00:06:39,983
Out a mortgage.
155
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,900
Before you go
156
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:42,450
miss a car.
157
00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:44,000
No, you know, those sorts of things.
158
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:48,466
But I'm a I'm really into making my home
like a theater experience
159
00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:50,000
so that I can, you know, pause
160
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,583
the movie, get it, you know, get a snack,
get even dinner, you know, so, you know,
161
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:59,750
movie theaters for me are kind of
declining out of out of out of my culture.
162
00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:02,633
So, you know. I get that, I guess. Yeah.
163
00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,816
So you talked about dinner and the movie.
164
00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:07,800
So confession time. Okay. Confession.
165
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:13,316
While living in Mexico, my wife and I
smuggled a large Domino's Pizza
166
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:15,866
into a movie.
167
00:07:15,866 --> 00:07:16,366
Okay.
168
00:07:16,366 --> 00:07:19,166
I'm still not entirely sure
how we got away with that.
169
00:07:19,166 --> 00:07:19,666
I think.
170
00:07:19,666 --> 00:07:23,683
I think we had stuffed the
the pizza box in my shirt. Wow.
171
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,466
And then I kind of, like, hugged her
172
00:07:25,466 --> 00:07:28,950
like we were super romantic as
we walked through and nobody would see it.
173
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:32,900
But yes, we absolutely
brought an entire pizza into the movie.
174
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:34,200
And in Mexico, I think.
175
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,233
I can I think I can outdo you on that one.
176
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:40,250
I was I was younger
and I went to the movies with my auntie
177
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:44,266
one time, and my auntie was known
for making us the best man.
178
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,850
Mayonnaise, sandwiches,
you know, baloney, mayonnaise, cheese.
179
00:07:48,383 --> 00:07:49,200
Great.
180
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,766
So we go to the movies
and she brings this big purse.
181
00:07:51,766 --> 00:07:53,550
We had no idea what was happening.
182
00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:55,366
We just saw this big person.
183
00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:58,850
All of a sudden, before the movie starts,
people just, you know, me
184
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:00,766
and my cousins, we just passing down,
185
00:08:00,766 --> 00:08:04,550
you know, these aluminum
foil covered things and we opened it.
186
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,233
It's like it's a sandwich.
187
00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:11,416
And then maybe 5 minutes into the movie,
she pulls out fried chicken. So.
188
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,000
So pizza.
189
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,283
And that's
a hard one to sneak into the movies.
190
00:08:16,283 --> 00:08:18,166
But to have fried chicken in the movie.
191
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,883
Man, that's that's pretty
that's pretty impressive.
192
00:08:19,883 --> 00:08:21,600
Yeah, We thought about that one time.
193
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,066
You know, the rotisserie chickens,
you can buy at the grocery store.
194
00:08:24,066 --> 00:08:27,616
It's like I mean, we looked at that one
time, we're like, totally.
195
00:08:27,616 --> 00:08:27,900
That that.
196
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:30,900
And yeah, you totally get
I've seen it done before.
197
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,700
These are heathen days,
you know, we're much more holy now.
198
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:39,200
So the movie Top Gun did an amazing job
199
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:43,033
of presenting us with
this kind of this problem, this dilemma.
200
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:46,400
And then I joked on Sunday about how
they didn't know how to answer the right
201
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,516
their own problem.
202
00:08:47,516 --> 00:08:50,366
Yeah. So, like, they write this line,
I don't know how.
203
00:08:50,366 --> 00:08:53,366
And it's like, yeah, he really didn't
he didn't know how.
204
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,716
But the problem that they present to us
is that you can't move forward
205
00:08:57,766 --> 00:09:00,416
and while you're holding on
to the past. Right.
206
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:03,200
And so it gives us two characters
that are both holding on to the past,
207
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:07,283
one's holding on to guilt,
the other is holding on to pain.
208
00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:10,616
And how is that kind of showed itself
in your life?
209
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:13,250
Like, what have you seen that
maybe in your own life
210
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:16,666
where you're working with somebody
or you've got a family member or friend
211
00:09:16,683 --> 00:09:20,716
and you're just like, man, like,
there's so much potential for this person.
212
00:09:20,716 --> 00:09:23,333
Yeah,
but they're being held back by their past.
213
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:27,416
Yeah, I mean, I'm 38 years old,
so there are a lot of
214
00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:31,016
there's a lot of life
there to kind of sift through.
215
00:09:31,016 --> 00:09:34,016
But there are some moments,
you know, that that stick out to me.
216
00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:37,816
And I don't want to turn it into
a, you know,
217
00:09:37,816 --> 00:09:42,350
one of those you know,
I'm, I guess, counseling sessions.
218
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:45,416
But I've been dealing with my father,
219
00:09:46,616 --> 00:09:47,816
the forgiveness of my father
220
00:09:47,816 --> 00:09:50,816
for the past,
I don't know, maybe 20 years.
221
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:54,750
He left the house when I was about,
I think, 12 years old.
222
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,850
Dad was always in the house.
223
00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:59,216
He was the he was a deacon at the church.
224
00:09:59,216 --> 00:10:02,450
So we were raised to be great Christians
and to be honest
225
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:06,500
and to do all the right things
and was even disciplined in that way.
226
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:12,416
But later, later on in life, he decided,
you know, hey, I'm a I'm a changed man
227
00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:16,316
now, you know, this is who I am
and I've always been this way.
228
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:19,250
So we just saw a different
a different side of him.
229
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,866
And to be raised up in that
230
00:10:21,866 --> 00:10:25,700
and in the Christian values
and to see your father of all people
231
00:10:26,516 --> 00:10:30,000
just about face,
you know, hey, I'm not that guy anymore.
232
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,666
So it's like, what?
What do you mean? Like, it's crazy?
233
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,966
These are the principles
that I've built my life on, even though I.
234
00:10:36,316 --> 00:10:39,500
I struggled tremendously,
you know, living by that.
235
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:43,883
But, you know, just to see your foundation
be crumbled right under your feet.
236
00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:44,333
Yeah.
237
00:10:45,566 --> 00:10:48,600
So we went through we went through some,
you know, some moments of,
238
00:10:48,616 --> 00:10:52,066
you know, hurt and frustration
and being upset because, I mean,
239
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,383
when your mom and dad is in the house
and you grow
240
00:10:54,383 --> 00:10:57,383
up, you're 12 years old now
and that's all you know,
241
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,750
and your dad about faces that way,
242
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,566
it feels like you've been,
you know, stabbed in the back.
243
00:11:03,566 --> 00:11:05,033
It feels like you've just kind of
244
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:09,233
been left out in the water by yourself,
like someone just jumps off the ship,
245
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:12,650
the captain jumps off the ship
and leaves the crew hanging.
246
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:14,100
So, yeah.
247
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:18,300
So it made me feel like I had to step up
as the man of the house at 12 years old.
248
00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,233
So how do you deal with that
at 12 years old?
249
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:21,950
You know, and
250
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,200
I'm looking at my mom.
251
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,150
You know, she's hurting, she's crying.
252
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:29,150
She's you know, she's going through
everything a woman will go through.
253
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:33,766
That's going through their husband
not being the man that she thought he was.
254
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:37,550
So infidelity,
you know, that comes with lies, that comes
255
00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:43,050
with a whole different life that you
you didn't even know was possible by this.
256
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:47,000
You know, this this man who stands
upright, you know, in church.
257
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:51,450
So I think
258
00:11:51,616 --> 00:11:54,316
I didn't get to
I stopped speaking to my dad.
259
00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:57,533
I think I was about maybe 17
260
00:11:57,616 --> 00:12:02,266
and I didn't talk to him again
until I was about 30. Wow.
261
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:03,750
Yeah.
262
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,300
So honestly, not even 30.
263
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,333
I think it was about 33.
264
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:12,750
I had I had just met Katie,
which was about a year ago.
265
00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:14,416
So that that math doesn't add up.
266
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:18,500
So it would have it would have had
to have been like 30, 36, 37.
267
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So I hadn't talked about
I hadn't talked to my dad in a while.
268
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,750
So that was a journey for me, you know,
learning
269
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:28,116
how to get to that place of forgiveness
and yeah,
270
00:12:28,883 --> 00:12:33,500
even even identifying
what parts of my life were affected
271
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:37,516
by that because, you know, there's,
there's, there's these moments of,
272
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:41,850
uh, I'm okay,
there's nothing wrong with me.
273
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:43,733
Everything is going
great. I'm a great man.
274
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,566
You know, I don't need my father.
275
00:12:45,566 --> 00:12:46,850
I don't I don't need his help.
276
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,983
He he can get it right himself.
277
00:12:48,983 --> 00:12:53,400
So I'm moving throughout life
with this unforgiveness on my heart
278
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:58,283
and not even realizing how it's impacting,
you know, my future.
279
00:12:58,366 --> 00:12:59,400
Yeah. Yeah, I was.
280
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:00,083
I was actually talking
281
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:04,016
to a friend recently and he was kind of
in that same place where he's like, Man,
282
00:13:04,766 --> 00:13:07,766
there was this horrible event
that happened in my life.
283
00:13:08,116 --> 00:13:11,116
I thought I had forgiveness,
I thought I had healing.
284
00:13:11,116 --> 00:13:15,466
It's like, But I've been finding myself
with anxiety, with like, all of these,
285
00:13:15,466 --> 00:13:20,250
like this, these emotions that it almost
feels like I love the way he he says.
286
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,133
It's like there's this residue.
287
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,733
Like it's like I let go of that thing,
but it's sticking to me.
288
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:26,750
Yeah.
289
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:30,416
And so I'm curious, like,
I mean, that, you know, almost 20 years.
290
00:13:30,416 --> 00:13:31,516
Yeah.
291
00:13:31,516 --> 00:13:35,366
So two questions I've got for you and you
can pick which one you answer first, but
292
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,250
how how do you
293
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,416
walk through forgiveness
in that, that case.
294
00:13:41,416 --> 00:13:42,200
Right.
295
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:46,433
And to I'm really curious because so many
people I talk to when it's a Christian
296
00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:49,616
that hurt them,
especially in your case, it's
297
00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:52,766
your father who who Deacon at the church,
all of that.
298
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:58,350
And when he walks away, so many Christians
will look at that and say, I'm out.
299
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,566
Yeah, I got the whole church thing.
300
00:14:00,566 --> 00:14:03,833
Yeah, clearly doesn't work
because this guy was dedicated to it.
301
00:14:03,916 --> 00:14:06,050
He's a big phony, you know?
302
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:08,400
So if it didn't work for him,
why am I going to bother?
303
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,383
And so for a lot of people in that pain,
especially from a Christian
304
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:16,133
or a so-called Christian,
you know, they abandoned the faith.
305
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:17,716
Yeah. So how did you keep your faith?
306
00:14:17,716 --> 00:14:21,566
And then 20 years later, how do you
how do you walk in forgiveness?
307
00:14:21,566 --> 00:14:22,316
Yeah.
308
00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:25,966
Well, uh, the
how do you keep your faith question?
309
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,983
Uh, this is an interesting one
310
00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:31,666
because I've grown up in church
my entire life from the moment I was born.
311
00:14:31,883 --> 00:14:35,716
You know, my mom and mom tell the story
about when she was pregnant with me.
312
00:14:35,716 --> 00:14:38,900
She would walk in churches
and she would just feel Derek in her
313
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:40,666
in her belly, just jumping up and down,
314
00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,966
because apparently music
was just ingrained.
315
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,116
And it's been my thing.
316
00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:50,866
Um, so the, the foundation of my faith
is, was always important.
317
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,000
And even when I didn't
notice that it was important,
318
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:58,800
my mom and, and, and my dad at that time,
they were,
319
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,666
they were very serious about making
sure my foundation was solid in Christ.
320
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:08,816
So who God is growing in our
our living in the fear of the Lord?
321
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:14,866
Um, knowing that God is, is,
is beyond my mother and Father.
322
00:15:14,866 --> 00:15:17,866
They would always make God bigger,
even bigger than themselves.
323
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:21,083
So there was always a higher,
324
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:23,900
a higher authority in my life.
325
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,016
And that was always God.
326
00:15:25,016 --> 00:15:26,416
So, you know, reading
327
00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:30,466
the Christian stories and knowing that,
you know, a guy could destroy a whole city
328
00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:34,733
with fire and brimstone
and he can flood the whole earth, and.
329
00:15:34,816 --> 00:15:35,766
You got the fear of God.
330
00:15:35,766 --> 00:15:38,216
I have a fear. Of God in my life.
331
00:15:38,216 --> 00:15:38,666
Yeah.
332
00:15:38,666 --> 00:15:41,866
So, I mean, with that,
with that being my foundation,
333
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,516
that's really how I stayed in the faith.
334
00:15:44,516 --> 00:15:47,666
And there was even a period in my life
when when I got older,
335
00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:51,150
even my foundation was shaking.
336
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,483
And what I mean by that is, God,
I've known you
337
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:56,483
my I've known I've been told about you
my whole life,
338
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,750
but I don't think I've had a
a genuine experience with you.
339
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,033
I don't think I know you for myself. Yeah.
340
00:16:02,033 --> 00:16:05,600
And when the Bible says Knock in the door,
be open to you,
341
00:16:06,016 --> 00:16:10,016
I knocked at that door and God flung it
open like it's.
342
00:16:10,216 --> 00:16:11,100
It's.
343
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,716
I hear a lot of testimonies about people
who have these experiences with God,
344
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:17,783
and it's like split second experiences.
345
00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:21,000
And when I hear those stories,
I can identify with that.
346
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,550
Yeah, that's honestly
how I came into relationship with God,
347
00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:29,266
just by asking him,
Who are you and what is
348
00:16:29,266 --> 00:16:32,450
who is this guy that people have told me
about my whole life?
349
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,633
And so my foundation has always been
solid.
350
00:16:35,633 --> 00:16:38,850
I've always chased after God,
even when it's even when it was tough.
351
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:41,850
You know, there are questions in the faith
that you sometimes
352
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:45,166
come up on and it's like,
okay, God, that that doesn't make sense.
353
00:16:45,383 --> 00:16:47,300
You got to help me with this.
354
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,450
And so just leaning on him
and building that relationship with him
355
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:54,833
and allowing him to kind of pour into me
and show me himself
356
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:59,183
who he is, you'll find that, you know,
God will reveal some things to you
357
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:02,633
that, you know,
you just don't hear on a regular basis.
358
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,616
I love that because I think for a
for a lot of people, the danger
359
00:17:06,616 --> 00:17:11,566
that we get in is when we look at a person
as our avenue to God.
360
00:17:11,566 --> 00:17:12,350
Yeah.
361
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:16,216
And so when it's the pastor
is the representative of God.
362
00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:18,566
So I'm I'm getting to God
through the pastor.
363
00:17:18,566 --> 00:17:24,233
When the pastor messes up, then it's like,
yeah, I don't have the connection.
364
00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:28,366
That's for me, it's like the way to
to hold on to your faith,
365
00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:31,400
even when Christians mess up,
is to understand, okay, Christians aren't
366
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,400
perfect like that,
or we never claim to be.
367
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,666
Like, the whole premise of Christianity
is that we're not perfect.
368
00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:40,516
Like, yeah, we are in need of a savior.
And a lot of times
369
00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:44,183
we demonstrate to the world
how much we are in need of a savior.
370
00:17:44,816 --> 00:17:48,766
But when our focal point
and when our connection to God is to God
371
00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:52,766
and not through anybody, but just straight
through the Holy Spirit to God,
372
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:56,516
then you know, when a Christian fails,
even if it's a parent,
373
00:17:56,516 --> 00:17:58,733
even if it's a family member,
or even if it's our pastor,
374
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:01,733
even if it's somebody
that should have had authority over us,
375
00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:04,283
we can hold on to our faith
because we recognize
376
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,866
my relationship was with God,
not with this person.
377
00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:11,250
Yeah, and this person is just a flawed
representative of a perfect God.
378
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:11,400
Yeah.
379
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,150
So I'm going to I'm going to
380
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:16,016
hold on to the perfect God
and let the flawed individual be flawed.
381
00:18:16,016 --> 00:18:17,033
Yeah. Yeah.
382
00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:19,283
One of the things my mom would always
tell is
383
00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:21,983
my mom was really good at always
speaking scripture.
384
00:18:21,983 --> 00:18:24,233
It wasn't until I got old
385
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:27,166
that I realized that these words
are now hitting in my heart.
386
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:31,016
So when things come up in life,
I can hear the scripture
387
00:18:31,016 --> 00:18:32,550
that my mommy planted in our hearts.
388
00:18:33,716 --> 00:18:34,766
So one
389
00:18:34,766 --> 00:18:37,800
thing she would say
is you just don't put your trust in man.
390
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,316
Your man will always value that.
391
00:18:40,316 --> 00:18:44,750
It doesn't matter how much,
how much hope or love or faith
392
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,016
you have in another person,
they will always value.
393
00:18:48,016 --> 00:18:51,016
So walking and walking in that knowledge,
394
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:54,683
knowing that
I just have to walk with grace,
395
00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:57,866
you know, I have to walk with grace
for for everyone around me.
396
00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,716
So to answer the question,
397
00:18:59,716 --> 00:19:02,783
the second question you had about,
you know, how did I get to forgiveness?
398
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,800
It was all built on that foundation of,
you know,
399
00:19:06,983 --> 00:19:11,966
I love love one another, you know,
forgive as as God is forgiving you.
400
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:16,600
And so it's easier said than done
because as is
401
00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:19,400
as you as I told you before,
it took me about 20 years
402
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,683
even pick up the phone and say,
hey, dad, I'm just.
403
00:19:21,683 --> 00:19:23,150
And even then it was just like,
404
00:19:24,316 --> 00:19:26,466
I don't really care what you got going on.
405
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,616
I just I know I need to forgive you.
406
00:19:28,616 --> 00:19:30,833
So let me just pick up the phone
and say this.
407
00:19:30,833 --> 00:19:32,116
Right before you getting married,
408
00:19:32,116 --> 00:19:35,183
I felt that, like,
I should at least let them know.
409
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:35,850
Right? Right.
410
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:38,850
I should let them know that I'm
moving on to the next part of life.
411
00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:45,416
So that and and what's funny about it is
we think when we say forgiveness,
412
00:19:45,416 --> 00:19:48,416
we think we're just saying, okay,
I forgive you and move on to.
413
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,966
And that's one thing
I loved about your sermon yesterday.
414
00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:53,750
It was how do I forgive with boundaries?
415
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:56,750
And that's always been the struggle for me
416
00:19:58,366 --> 00:20:01,283
because I'm reading the word
and I'm looking at the walk of Christ.
417
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,600
I'm looking at the way Jesus moves.
418
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,600
And Jesus is like he walked.
419
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,300
He comes into Jerusalem
and people are excited like we are.
420
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:10,250
Oh, man, Jesus.
421
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:10,733
Yeah, yeah.
422
00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:13,616
He's come to save us
and save us from this authority.
423
00:20:13,616 --> 00:20:17,900
And and shortly thereafter,
these are the same people going
424
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,966
crucify him, crucify him.
425
00:20:19,966 --> 00:20:24,050
But the part that I like,
I still deal with this scripture.
426
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:28,050
When he was on his way to Calvary,
427
00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:32,100
the same people that were saying
Hosanna said, crucify him.
428
00:20:32,483 --> 00:20:36,600
So Jesus is watching these same people
spit on him and throw rocks at him.
429
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:41,300
They and this is after he's been beaten,
you know, this he's already went through,
430
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,683
you know, torment.
431
00:20:42,683 --> 00:20:47,366
And and he after he leaves there,
he goes out amongst these people.
432
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:51,266
They see him bleeding,
they see him hurting, they see him down
433
00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:52,883
and they continue to beat him down.
434
00:20:52,883 --> 00:20:55,200
And he looks them in his face,
in their faces.
435
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,333
And he says, Father, forgive them for
they know not what they do.
436
00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:03,566
And I'm not going to I'm not going to
look at you guys and say, you know what?
437
00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:05,400
You guys are doing, too much.
438
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,800
This is this is abuse.
439
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,316
And I'm going to like I'm
going to create this boundary.
440
00:21:09,316 --> 00:21:12,416
And now Jesus, like, goes beyond that.
441
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:15,833
So in my Christian faith, it's always been
442
00:21:16,133 --> 00:21:19,050
how do I how do I godly
443
00:21:19,050 --> 00:21:22,050
forgive someone
the same way that crisis forgiveness
444
00:21:22,650 --> 00:21:25,466
with restoration in mind, but also
445
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:30,050
have boundaries to keep me from
being the abused one.
446
00:21:30,116 --> 00:21:33,050
Yeah. So I know I know this.
447
00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:36,683
I know you're the host,
but I would like to get your thoughts
448
00:21:36,683 --> 00:21:40,500
on that because,
yeah, it's always been a struggle.
449
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,733
Like how, how when Jesus says, you know,
450
00:21:42,733 --> 00:21:45,900
when when someone slaps you in your face,
you turn the other cheek.
451
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:49,316
And I've heard I've heard it before.
452
00:21:49,316 --> 00:21:50,933
In church you only have two cheeks.
453
00:21:50,933 --> 00:21:51,566
So when they
454
00:21:51,566 --> 00:21:55,200
when they get ready to slap you the third
time, you just have to push them away.
455
00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:58,583
But how do I
456
00:21:58,583 --> 00:22:01,800
how do I walk with the forgiveness
that Christ has for us?
457
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,333
The one that places our sins
as far from the east to the west?
458
00:22:05,333 --> 00:22:06,716
Yeah.
459
00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:07,666
So that's that's just an.
460
00:22:07,666 --> 00:22:08,716
Interesting you know,
461
00:22:08,716 --> 00:22:11,600
the funny thing is the like the whole
you only have two cheeks.
462
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,550
I just reading too much in exactly
like Right.
463
00:22:13,550 --> 00:22:15,683
He doesn't say that
Like if you turn this way,
464
00:22:15,683 --> 00:22:17,200
guess what you can still talk about
465
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,733
you can still go this way
he it like there's there's
466
00:22:19,733 --> 00:22:22,250
nothing in the text that indicates that
Yeah that's it that's it.
467
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:25,250
Now Paul does give Titus a three strike
rule, okay.
468
00:22:25,616 --> 00:22:28,633
Or he's like, hey,
you know, if he messes up, tell him right.
469
00:22:28,666 --> 00:22:29,183
He messed up.
470
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:33,083
If he does it again right now, the third
time, I have nothing else to do with it.
471
00:22:33,083 --> 00:22:34,166
Yeah, yeah.
472
00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:35,450
But what we didn't get.
473
00:22:35,450 --> 00:22:37,800
I'm so glad you asked me the question,
because it's one of those things
474
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,333
in a sermon.
475
00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:41,150
I got 35 minutes. Yeah,
I can't talk about everything. Right?
476
00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:44,366
And so there's a lot of things around
the subject matter that even even so,
477
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,516
we could have a podcast for 5 hours.
Oh, yeah.
478
00:22:46,516 --> 00:22:48,350
And there's still be things
we didn't get to talk about
479
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:50,933
with with this subject matter
because it is it's huge.
480
00:22:50,933 --> 00:22:54,150
We have this kind of this internal saying
amongst pastors.
481
00:22:54,316 --> 00:22:57,850
You could preach on forgiveness
every Sunday for 52 weeks and still
482
00:22:58,216 --> 00:22:59,333
and still not cover it all.
483
00:22:59,333 --> 00:23:02,333
And everybody would be,
you know, crying on the altar
484
00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,550
every single day,
even if they heard it for 52 weeks.
485
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:08,033
Like it's it's
just it's such a needed subject matter
486
00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:11,416
because it's it's it affects all
of us in such a profound way.
487
00:23:12,916 --> 00:23:14,000
And it's almost like
488
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000
there's this dilemma of, okay,
489
00:23:17,150 --> 00:23:18,650
how many times do I forgive him?
490
00:23:18,650 --> 00:23:22,266
Or how how open do I let my life be right?
491
00:23:22,316 --> 00:23:24,916
And what are the boundaries
and when do I set the boundaries right?
492
00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:30,200
And honestly, my only answer for that is
you have to listen to the Holy Spirit.
493
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,133
Yeah. Yeah.
494
00:23:31,133 --> 00:23:32,150
You've got to.
495
00:23:32,150 --> 00:23:36,266
Now, I also advise getting counseling,
getting Christian counseling,
496
00:23:36,266 --> 00:23:39,266
because a secular counselor is going
to point you in a different direction.
497
00:23:40,050 --> 00:23:42,316
But at the end of the day,
the Holy Spirit is the one.
498
00:23:42,316 --> 00:23:43,733
I mean, Holy Spirit
499
00:23:43,733 --> 00:23:46,733
told the Prophet in the Old Testament
to marry a prostitute. Yep.
500
00:23:47,150 --> 00:23:48,166
Multiple times. Yeah.
501
00:23:48,166 --> 00:23:49,816
Like I marry her.
502
00:23:49,816 --> 00:23:52,366
She's she's.
503
00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:54,166
There's infidelity.
504
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:57,166
Go back to her, like,
forgive her, bring her back.
505
00:23:57,166 --> 00:24:00,116
And so, like the Holy Spirit,
you may be in a relationship
506
00:24:00,116 --> 00:24:03,533
and this is, this is where it's like, man,
it's it's hard as a as a preacher
507
00:24:03,766 --> 00:24:07,433
to stand on a stage
and say things for an entire crowd
508
00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:10,466
when I don't know
your individual situation.
509
00:24:10,466 --> 00:24:11,216
That's good.
510
00:24:11,216 --> 00:24:13,950
And so like that, that's
where that counseling component comes in
511
00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:16,816
because then it's it's
very specific to your situation.
512
00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:19,616
But I know relationships
513
00:24:19,616 --> 00:24:22,616
where the husband cheated on the wife and
514
00:24:24,083 --> 00:24:25,850
wrecked the relationship.
515
00:24:25,850 --> 00:24:26,366
Yeah.
516
00:24:26,366 --> 00:24:29,550
Holy Spirit
told the wife to stay with him.
517
00:24:29,566 --> 00:24:30,450
Yeah.
518
00:24:30,450 --> 00:24:33,150
And it's like, dude,
like even the Bible tells you
519
00:24:33,150 --> 00:24:36,150
when there's infidelity,
you have the right to leave.
520
00:24:36,233 --> 00:24:38,700
But the Holy Spirit told her,
stay with them.
521
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:39,450
Yeah.
522
00:24:39,450 --> 00:24:43,550
And she tells us powerful story of like,
just laying on top of them
523
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,583
in their bed and just saying,
you're not going anywhere.
524
00:24:46,583 --> 00:24:47,516
Yeah. Yeah.
525
00:24:47,516 --> 00:24:48,550
And it just is powerful.
526
00:24:48,550 --> 00:24:51,416
He's a broken man
and she's just she's like, I'm.
527
00:24:51,416 --> 00:24:55,350
Yeah, you messed up in an incredibly
you broke trust.
528
00:24:55,350 --> 00:24:58,350
We're going to spend a lifetime
rebuilding that trust.
529
00:24:58,516 --> 00:24:59,600
But I'm not leaving you.
530
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,366
Yeah,
because the Holy Spirit said to stay.
531
00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,666
It's all good at the same time.
532
00:25:02,666 --> 00:25:06,766
I've got other people that I know, and
it's like the Holy Spirit didn't say stay
533
00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:10,283
and the way he was behaving
and the lack of true repentance,
534
00:25:10,283 --> 00:25:14,116
because that's, that's a big thing that
the repentance versus saying I'm sorry.
535
00:25:14,116 --> 00:25:14,550
Yeah.
536
00:25:14,550 --> 00:25:18,150
I mean so often I see people
that are sorry because they got caught.
537
00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:19,216
Yeah, yeah.
538
00:25:19,216 --> 00:25:24,100
And that's not repentance and you can be
crying, you know, all the, the tears.
539
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:26,366
Yeah. And feel so horrible about it.
540
00:25:26,366 --> 00:25:29,450
But at the end of the day
it's still you're sorry you got caught.
541
00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:30,050
Yeah.
542
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:34,366
You didn't, you didn't come clean,
you didn't know, you got, you got busted
543
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,116
and you feel bad about it. Yeah.
544
00:25:36,116 --> 00:25:41,033
Whereas repentance is saying I recognize
what I did was wrong and whatever
545
00:25:41,033 --> 00:25:45,900
I have to do to not do that thing again,
right, that's what I'm going to do.
546
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:49,400
And I may still mess up, but
I'm going to do everything in my power.
547
00:25:49,666 --> 00:25:53,216
Like if it's, you know, pornography,
it's like, okay, I'm not going to
548
00:25:53,633 --> 00:25:56,866
I'm going to put on blockers
on all of my electronics.
549
00:25:56,866 --> 00:25:59,600
I'm not going to be in a room alone
with these things.
550
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,166
Right. You know, if it's infidelity.
551
00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:04,133
But you still have,
you know, Tinder on your phone.
552
00:26:04,133 --> 00:26:05,600
Yeah, like that.
553
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,700
Yeah. Like, come on. Do you not,
you know, walking away? Yeah.
554
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,600
That's not repentance, right?
555
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,266
Like,
if you still keep that account open. Yeah.
556
00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:15,066
If that's. That's not repentance. Yeah.
557
00:26:15,066 --> 00:26:18,016
So back to that whole it's got to be
Holy Spirit driven.
558
00:26:18,016 --> 00:26:18,833
Yeah.
559
00:26:18,833 --> 00:26:22,766
Because there are absolutely situations
where for person A
560
00:26:23,266 --> 00:26:25,816
you need to cut that relationship off,
561
00:26:25,816 --> 00:26:28,950
you need to, to leave for your health.
562
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:29,633
Yeah.
563
00:26:29,633 --> 00:26:32,333
Person
B could be in the exact same situation
564
00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:35,450
and the Holy Spirit's like, Stay,
yeah, yeah, because I'm going
565
00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:38,450
to do something
through you for that person.
566
00:26:38,633 --> 00:26:40,100
And so it's so hard.
567
00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:43,700
Like there's some people that I want to,
I want to be like, I'm just,
568
00:26:43,966 --> 00:26:45,300
let's, let's go talk. Yeah.
569
00:26:45,300 --> 00:26:47,250
Like, let's,
let's talk through your situation
570
00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:50,933
because just because he did this doesn't
mean that the response has to be this.
571
00:26:50,933 --> 00:26:52,800
Yeah, yeah. Got to follow the Holy Spirit.
572
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,016
Yeah. That's so good. I love.
573
00:26:54,016 --> 00:26:55,816
I love that you said that.
574
00:26:55,816 --> 00:26:59,333
It reminds me of the story when, when the
Pharisees, they come to Jesus and said,
575
00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:03,200
What do you do in the in the situation of,
of, you know, infidelity?
576
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:07,666
And Jesus says, well,
I mean, I wouldn't respond like you would,
577
00:27:07,666 --> 00:27:10,616
but if it's if it is infidelity,
you have the right to.
578
00:27:10,616 --> 00:27:13,850
So it it almost like you said, it
kind of leaves it
579
00:27:13,850 --> 00:27:17,266
in your in your wheelhouse to do. I
580
00:27:18,233 --> 00:27:18,616
if it's
581
00:27:18,616 --> 00:27:23,183
unhealthy and I decide I want to move
on, I can do it for my health.
582
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:28,850
But what Holy Spirit, what are you saying
And and it kind of opens the door
583
00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:33,983
to, you know, being the not the salvation,
but sort of like the
584
00:27:35,116 --> 00:27:38,416
you kind of sanctify another person
through through your walk,
585
00:27:38,483 --> 00:27:42,983
you know, I'm reminded of of
and I'm bad with remembering scriptures,
586
00:27:42,983 --> 00:27:45,983
but I know a lot of them, but I don't tend
to know how to reference them.
587
00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:50,850
But I'm reminded of how, you know,
when when Jesus talks about
588
00:27:50,850 --> 00:27:53,850
if if you marry
someone who's not of the faith,
589
00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:56,716
you know, your faith will actually
590
00:27:56,716 --> 00:27:59,716
it will be imparting it to your spouse.
591
00:28:00,116 --> 00:28:02,400
I will help them get to where
they need to go.
592
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:03,566
So, I mean,
593
00:28:04,733 --> 00:28:05,550
going back to my
594
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:10,316
father, all those years, I was
I was walking, trying to find forgiveness
595
00:28:10,316 --> 00:28:13,316
and trying to find the importance of why
596
00:28:13,366 --> 00:28:15,800
I would say to myself, I forgive my dad.
597
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,250
I just don't have to talk to him. I don't.
598
00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:20,250
So so I created that boundary.
599
00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:24,316
But what happened was I was
I was losing years of my dad.
600
00:28:26,266 --> 00:28:29,783
And I mean, it's easy to say,
you know, that he was
601
00:28:29,783 --> 00:28:33,116
he was no good for me
or he didn't know how to guide me.
602
00:28:33,116 --> 00:28:37,766
But even the affirmation of my father,
I didn't even realize how important it was
603
00:28:37,766 --> 00:28:38,566
to me.
604
00:28:38,566 --> 00:28:44,250
So, so long story short, fast for me
and my dad, we're cool now.
605
00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:45,166
He came to the wedding.
606
00:28:45,166 --> 00:28:47,250
He celebrated with us.
607
00:28:47,250 --> 00:28:48,900
He was also there with my mom.
608
00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:53,650
And it was it was good to see that
they were able to, you know, kind of be
609
00:28:53,666 --> 00:28:57,566
in the same space together and still
be cordial and all sorts of things.
610
00:28:58,016 --> 00:29:02,116
And I know for my mom,
she's she's she's very devout.
611
00:29:02,116 --> 00:29:03,466
She's a very devout Christian.
612
00:29:03,466 --> 00:29:05,216
So she still kind of struggles with that
613
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,016
with the forgiveness part.
614
00:29:10,016 --> 00:29:11,716
I believe that she's forgiving him.
615
00:29:11,716 --> 00:29:15,700
But I also believe that
there's there is a holy Spirit and a
616
00:29:15,716 --> 00:29:17,783
something happening in her,
they're saying.
617
00:29:17,783 --> 00:29:20,150
But Chase after, Chase after Chase after.
618
00:29:20,150 --> 00:29:21,050
So that's why I was
619
00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:22,050
that's why it was interesting
620
00:29:22,050 --> 00:29:24,616
for me to hear
you talk about forgiveness and boundaries,
621
00:29:24,616 --> 00:29:26,783
because that's that's
still a growing process.
622
00:29:26,783 --> 00:29:29,866
I mean, I think, well,
we'll always try and figure out.
623
00:29:30,166 --> 00:29:32,566
Impulses, you know,
Not that I've already achieved it.
624
00:29:32,566 --> 00:29:35,100
Right, right, right.
Like this is a process. Yeah.
625
00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:37,850
And and that's, you know, sometimes
that's a struggle. As a preacher.
626
00:29:37,850 --> 00:29:41,700
It's like people are looking to you
to solve all their problems in 35 minute
627
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:44,700
message and say, look, this,
this may take a lifetime like
628
00:29:44,966 --> 00:29:47,716
but something something that you started
to say that just really sparked
629
00:29:47,716 --> 00:29:49,433
this thought
that we didn't really get to talk about.
630
00:29:49,433 --> 00:29:53,700
But when we're setting up boundaries,
which I think are healthy, I think are
631
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:57,416
necessary, we also have to look, though,
at what is motivating the boundary.
632
00:29:57,450 --> 00:29:57,950
Yeah.
633
00:29:57,950 --> 00:30:00,566
And when we build
boundaries out of bitterness,
634
00:30:01,550 --> 00:30:04,083
it's there's no forgiveness like that.
635
00:30:04,083 --> 00:30:07,800
That's not genuine forgiveness
because you put up the boundary,
636
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,066
not because, look,
637
00:30:10,066 --> 00:30:12,650
I need to protect myself
or I need to protect my family
638
00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:16,200
and even my kids or whatever, you know, So
I'm putting up these boundaries now.
639
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,600
It's up. You screwed up. Yeah.
640
00:30:19,850 --> 00:30:24,083
And I, I need to put this boundary up
because I need some distance
641
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:27,350
from you and that it's
almost like it's the same thing.
642
00:30:27,350 --> 00:30:29,966
But at the motive is is out of bitterness.
643
00:30:29,966 --> 00:30:32,483
It's out of this resentment
and this anger,
644
00:30:32,483 --> 00:30:34,883
which to me just says, well,
you haven't really walked
645
00:30:34,883 --> 00:30:37,883
through that act of forgiveness,
because what we looked at on
646
00:30:37,883 --> 00:30:40,916
Sunday is Paul uses
two different words for forgiveness.
647
00:30:40,916 --> 00:30:43,216
For forgiveness in the Greek.
648
00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:46,616
I didn't tell people what the right words
were because I can't even pronounce them.
649
00:30:46,616 --> 00:30:49,616
It was like Cara's on my right
and something else.
650
00:30:49,616 --> 00:30:53,366
Yeah, I'm not a Greek scholar,
but I know how to research
651
00:30:53,750 --> 00:30:55,133
and that's that's where I found it out.
652
00:30:55,133 --> 00:30:58,400
But you know, the first word
for forgiveness
653
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,450
talks about canceling the debt.
654
00:31:00,450 --> 00:31:01,583
And if I'm putting up
655
00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:05,216
the boundary out of bitterness,
then I have not actually cancel the debt.
656
00:31:05,550 --> 00:31:08,700
I'm using the boundary
as the payment of the debt.
657
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:08,966
Right.
658
00:31:08,966 --> 00:31:11,933
It's like the payment that you have to pay
now because you messed up.
659
00:31:11,933 --> 00:31:14,700
Is this is this barrier that I've put up?
660
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:15,766
Yeah. Yeah.
661
00:31:15,766 --> 00:31:18,050
And so it's just man, it's it's
one of those things where it's
662
00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:22,100
when do you know you're in the right
when you know when you're in the wrong.
663
00:31:22,116 --> 00:31:22,966
What's the Holy Spirit.
664
00:31:22,966 --> 00:31:25,316
That sounds like a whole nother
sermon, man.
665
00:31:25,316 --> 00:31:26,100
We got time.
666
00:31:26,100 --> 00:31:26,900
Yeah. Yeah.
667
00:31:26,900 --> 00:31:29,100
It's like forgiveness out of bitterness.
668
00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:30,833
That's that's,
that's an interesting thought,
669
00:31:30,833 --> 00:31:34,966
because I think that's more common there
than we even know.
670
00:31:35,166 --> 00:31:36,916
Yeah, I'm. I'm.
671
00:31:36,916 --> 00:31:40,700
I'm going to repay what you've done to me
by saying you don't get to
672
00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:41,516
you don't get access.
673
00:31:41,516 --> 00:31:44,100
Well, it's like when my wife is mad at me
and she gives me the silent treatment.
674
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:46,916
Yeah, that's exactly.
Like that is the punishment. Right?
675
00:31:46,916 --> 00:31:49,316
For my crime
is you're going to be quiet. Yeah.
676
00:31:49,316 --> 00:31:53,333
Which when I'm not a talker,
That's kind of a ironic punishment.
677
00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:56,150
Yeah. So I'm like, Oh, we got.
It was very quiet in the house today.
678
00:31:57,683 --> 00:31:58,316
Oh, I know that.
679
00:31:58,316 --> 00:31:59,633
Like.
680
00:31:59,633 --> 00:32:00,750
She's going to be really mad at me.
681
00:32:00,750 --> 00:32:02,750
And here goes.
682
00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:04,816
Please. They'll be mad.
683
00:32:04,816 --> 00:32:08,066
It's interesting
because Katie and I was my wife, Katie.
684
00:32:08,333 --> 00:32:12,083
We were just talking yesterday
about forgiveness and repentance.
685
00:32:12,083 --> 00:32:14,116
Forgiveness versus repentance.
686
00:32:14,116 --> 00:32:19,433
And we were talking about how how we
forgive for the sake of being forgiving.
687
00:32:19,433 --> 00:32:20,933
We forgive for our own health.
688
00:32:20,933 --> 00:32:25,583
We forgive to make sure that we can
we can thrive in the faith
689
00:32:25,583 --> 00:32:28,583
in that God,
God will be pleased with our walk.
690
00:32:29,566 --> 00:32:31,283
Too much is given,
much is required, right?
691
00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:33,150
So God has given us of merging.
692
00:32:33,150 --> 00:32:36,150
He requires us to,
you know, share that same love.
693
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:38,700
But the repentance part is interesting
694
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:41,816
because repentance leads us
to relationship, right?
695
00:32:42,950 --> 00:32:46,916
So goddess forgiveness
and we're walking in forgiveness.
696
00:32:46,916 --> 00:32:50,700
But if we never repent,
then we can never experience
697
00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:53,850
the relationship
that God, that God wants for us.
698
00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:57,233
So in to in layman's terms,
699
00:32:57,416 --> 00:33:00,983
we were we were talking about,
you know, hey, I can forgive you all day,
700
00:33:01,366 --> 00:33:06,050
but unless you come to me and say, hey,
I know that that hurt you, and I know that
701
00:33:07,066 --> 00:33:07,966
that that's something that
702
00:33:07,966 --> 00:33:10,966
won't help our relationship thrive.
703
00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:12,683
I don't want that.
I don't want that for us.
704
00:33:12,683 --> 00:33:15,083
I don't want to displease you.
I don't want to make you cry.
705
00:33:15,083 --> 00:33:16,366
I don't want to make you frustrated.
706
00:33:16,366 --> 00:33:20,333
So I'll try my best
to not do that thing again.
707
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:23,516
And like you said, I'm,
you know, man will fail you.
708
00:33:23,516 --> 00:33:25,250
And sometimes it won't be perfect.
709
00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:26,633
But I'm going to try.
710
00:33:26,633 --> 00:33:29,150
I'm going to strive to. Yeah.
711
00:33:29,150 --> 00:33:31,733
To not do that specific thing again
712
00:33:31,733 --> 00:33:35,033
and that that marriage of forgiveness
and and
713
00:33:35,816 --> 00:33:39,350
and repentance I think goes hand in hand
714
00:33:39,350 --> 00:33:42,350
with the moving forward
in relationship together.
715
00:33:42,416 --> 00:33:45,166
And that's the part
that kind of sparked in my mind
716
00:33:45,166 --> 00:33:46,883
when we were talking about boundaries
yesterday.
717
00:33:46,883 --> 00:33:51,000
Well, I I'm the kind of person
that I love to believe
718
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:55,650
the best in people I will give is
if you tell me you want to get it right,
719
00:33:55,950 --> 00:33:59,366
I will give you that opportunity,
get it right every single time.
720
00:33:59,366 --> 00:34:00,833
So I'm the guy who would like
721
00:34:01,916 --> 00:34:04,733
who who
would take the abuse and just out of it,
722
00:34:04,733 --> 00:34:07,733
just for the sake of love,
you know, Hey, go for it.
723
00:34:08,716 --> 00:34:13,216
But I'm not that guy unless there is
a repentant heart, you know what I mean?
724
00:34:14,366 --> 00:34:18,300
And I think also there's another
perspective of forgiveness as well.
725
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,116
We don't talk about it a lot in church.
726
00:34:20,116 --> 00:34:23,116
We talk about how
when someone does this to you,
727
00:34:23,250 --> 00:34:26,333
but what happens when you do something
that someone else.
728
00:34:26,333 --> 00:34:28,516
Get out of my head, man,
That's exactly what I was about to go.
729
00:34:28,516 --> 00:34:30,466
Yeah. So?
730
00:34:30,466 --> 00:34:32,450
So I have a story.
731
00:34:32,450 --> 00:34:35,866
When I was a kid, I had a best friend
who lived next door to me,
732
00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:38,100
and we we were best friends.
We played every day.
733
00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:39,116
Every day we'd go outside.
734
00:34:39,116 --> 00:34:41,266
We were looking for each other.
735
00:34:41,266 --> 00:34:44,250
And one day I think his dad was a golfer.
736
00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:47,300
So we picked up his dad golf clubs
and we were just in the yard
737
00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:50,766
playing with his clubs and I remember it
738
00:34:50,783 --> 00:34:54,866
like getting situated to hit it, hit
a golf ball.
739
00:34:55,433 --> 00:34:59,433
And I saw
I swung this club with all of my my
740
00:34:59,450 --> 00:35:02,450
I know because I was trying
to hit the golf ball out the yard.
741
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:06,266
I swing it, missed the ball,
and all I heard was, oh.
742
00:35:06,266 --> 00:35:08,000
And I went, Oh, that's weird.
743
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,000
And then I hear this
screaming in the back.
744
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:15,116
I look around and my friend's face
is just like all bloodied up.
745
00:35:15,766 --> 00:35:18,533
So the club hit him right,
right in his cheek.
746
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:22,850
So I think I was every bit
of like 11 years old at the time.
747
00:35:22,850 --> 00:35:26,300
So I'm thinking like,
oh my gosh, I just killed my friend.
748
00:35:27,350 --> 00:35:29,633
So he runs in the house he's bleeding.
749
00:35:29,633 --> 00:35:31,916
Mom is she's going crazy.
750
00:35:31,916 --> 00:35:34,933
And I feel so guilty.
751
00:35:34,933 --> 00:35:37,733
I feel so bad about what just happened.
My mom is upset.
752
00:35:37,733 --> 00:35:40,116
How could you do this? And I'm thinking I.
753
00:35:40,116 --> 00:35:41,450
I didn't even try to do this.
754
00:35:41,450 --> 00:35:44,366
It was a mistake.
755
00:35:44,366 --> 00:35:47,900
But I remember that same exact day
I went back to his house and I was just,
756
00:35:47,933 --> 00:35:48,466
you know.
757
00:35:48,466 --> 00:35:49,700
Oh, man, I'm so sorry.
758
00:35:49,700 --> 00:35:51,750
I didn't mean to do this to you. And.
759
00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:54,233
And he eventually healed from it.
760
00:35:54,233 --> 00:35:55,250
And there was like this
761
00:35:55,250 --> 00:35:58,766
there's this scar, this scar tissue,
this kind of just sitting on his face.
762
00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:03,266
And I remember a few year,
maybe maybe ten years
763
00:36:03,266 --> 00:36:07,100
after after he had moved away
and, you know, moved on with his life.
764
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,266
I remember anything to him
and just seeing him and, uh,
765
00:36:12,233 --> 00:36:14,000
and there it was like nothing that.
766
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,566
Had he still had this scar on his face
that was put there by me,
767
00:36:18,050 --> 00:36:19,883
but he never even mentioned it.
768
00:36:19,883 --> 00:36:22,700
And I'm
and even when I said I'm like, Dang, man.
769
00:36:22,700 --> 00:36:25,466
Yeah. But it was the
it was the repentance.
770
00:36:25,466 --> 00:36:28,650
It was the Hey, man,
I really didn't mean to do that.
771
00:36:28,650 --> 00:36:31,650
And I'll make sure when we play that
we don't
772
00:36:31,916 --> 00:36:34,733
you know,
we don't do anything that causes harm.
773
00:36:34,733 --> 00:36:37,733
And I think that kind of helped us
774
00:36:37,766 --> 00:36:40,916
move past it because he could have easily
said, Yeah, I'm not I'm not
775
00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:42,350
hanging out with that with you.
776
00:36:42,350 --> 00:36:44,266
Yeah, I'm down with you.
You almost killed me.
777
00:36:44,266 --> 00:36:46,733
Like, literally the doctor was like,
778
00:36:46,733 --> 00:36:50,300
you were like inches away
from causing some major damage.
779
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,900
And so it was it was only until, you know,
I realized
780
00:36:53,900 --> 00:36:56,900
with that story, Man, I'm so sorry.
781
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:58,500
I'll never do that again. That he was.
782
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:01,433
He was able to trust me
and we were able to play, you know,
783
00:37:01,433 --> 00:37:04,433
still be best friends,
even with the stitches in his face.
784
00:37:04,433 --> 00:37:04,800
Yeah.
785
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:09,233
You know what's crazy about that, though,
is you had a real world experience of.
786
00:37:09,233 --> 00:37:11,850
Of somebody walking around
with scar tissue because of what you did.
787
00:37:11,850 --> 00:37:12,750
Yeah.
788
00:37:12,750 --> 00:37:16,850
And the reality is there are
there are people walking around
789
00:37:16,850 --> 00:37:20,000
every day now with scars
from what we've done to them.
790
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,550
And they may not be as visible
as your friend Scar,
791
00:37:22,550 --> 00:37:25,100
you know, right in the side of his temple.
All right.
792
00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:29,900
But I mean, how many people in our lives
are walking around with with scars
793
00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:33,266
from from the things that we said,
the things that we the things we didn't do
794
00:37:34,366 --> 00:37:34,966
and like that.
795
00:37:34,966 --> 00:37:38,100
That's something
that we have to talk about.
796
00:37:38,100 --> 00:37:39,266
Repentance. Yeah.
797
00:37:39,266 --> 00:37:43,883
Because what what what fixed it in
your illustration is the repentance.
798
00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:45,200
Right.
799
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:49,650
And it's something that I man,
I almost feel like the modern church
800
00:37:49,650 --> 00:37:54,083
is a little bit guilty of,
of not talking about repentance enough.
801
00:37:54,100 --> 00:37:57,233
We talk about God's love and God's
grace and God's forgiveness.
802
00:37:57,950 --> 00:38:00,950
But I mean, how many of the Scriptures
talk about, yeah, it's
803
00:38:01,016 --> 00:38:03,233
repentance first. Yes.
804
00:38:03,233 --> 00:38:05,933
And then we receive the grace,
then we receive the love.
805
00:38:05,933 --> 00:38:07,283
But if there's no repentance.
806
00:38:07,283 --> 00:38:12,000
Yeah, like he'd yeah,
we have this mentality in modern
807
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,816
Christianity of like we're so awesome
and we're so great, right?
808
00:38:14,816 --> 00:38:15,983
And we are. Yeah.
809
00:38:15,983 --> 00:38:18,600
But we are also at the same time
horrible people. Yeah.
810
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,216
Like we're broken.
811
00:38:20,216 --> 00:38:21,833
We live in a fallen world. Yeah.
812
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:25,250
And without the grace of God,
you know, like, who are we?
813
00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:25,650
Yeah.
814
00:38:25,650 --> 00:38:30,866
And so we have to operate and walk in
and live in in repentance.
815
00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:31,700
Yeah.
816
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:33,566
And that's both to God.
817
00:38:33,566 --> 00:38:36,316
And I think that that's where it starts.
Yeah.
818
00:38:36,316 --> 00:38:39,316
You know, talking with the guy, you know,
where does this begin, You know,
819
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:40,166
when I've.
820
00:38:40,166 --> 00:38:42,916
Because that's the question
is we really address on Sunday.
821
00:38:42,916 --> 00:38:45,450
You know what happens
when you've been hurt by somebody,
822
00:38:45,450 --> 00:38:47,933
What happens when you feel guilty
about what you've done.
823
00:38:47,933 --> 00:38:49,166
But how do you amend the relationship
824
00:38:49,166 --> 00:38:51,300
with somebody else that you know,
you're the guilty party.
825
00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:54,300
You're they have pain, right,
because of what you did.
826
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:59,866
And so it starts,
I believe, with repentance first to God.
827
00:38:59,866 --> 00:39:00,900
Yeah.
828
00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:03,683
Then, yeah, you got to deal with the guilt
in your own life.
829
00:39:03,683 --> 00:39:04,583
But I think the healthy way
830
00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:07,583
of dealing with the guilt in your own
life is to actually go to that person
831
00:39:08,266 --> 00:39:12,766
for repentance, understanding
that everything that we taught on Sunday
832
00:39:12,766 --> 00:39:18,166
about, you know, boundaries and, you know,
forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation.
833
00:39:18,416 --> 00:39:23,450
If you go to that person in repentance,
expecting or demanding that they're like,
834
00:39:23,450 --> 00:39:26,966
you screwed up, you cheated on your wife,
but you're sorry about it
835
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,766
and you're repentant and now you're
expecting them to stay with you.
836
00:39:30,950 --> 00:39:32,900
You know,
it may not work that way. I like.
837
00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:35,333
Yeah, exactly.
But you don't have the right to them.
838
00:39:35,333 --> 00:39:37,166
Like you gave up the right. Yeah.
839
00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:38,333
When you made that mistake.
840
00:39:39,916 --> 00:39:42,916
Even calling it a mistake, it's probably,
you know, it's like, oops, yeah.
841
00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:47,483
No, you had multiple phone calls and,
like, you set up like there was a plan.
842
00:39:47,550 --> 00:39:49,350
Yeah, Like,
843
00:39:49,350 --> 00:39:52,500
yeah, I it when I was a youth pastor,
I heard a guy talking about,
844
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,800
you know,
he had a teenagers in his youth ministry
845
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,800
that got pregnant and he, he asked them
846
00:39:59,333 --> 00:40:01,666
or they, they had come to him
and said they had had sex.
847
00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:03,300
They didn't get pregnant.
They had had sex.
848
00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,233
And the first question he asked was,
because they're like, it was a mistake.
849
00:40:06,233 --> 00:40:08,616
And we're we're so sorry.
He was like, Did you use a condom?
850
00:40:08,616 --> 00:40:09,800
I was like, Yeah, yeah, of course.
851
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,300
You know, we're going to
we're going to use safe sex.
852
00:40:11,300 --> 00:40:13,100
And he's like, Man,
it broke my heart even more.
853
00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:14,550
It's like you planned, you planned it.
854
00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:17,633
You plan to do this
like this is not a oops.
855
00:40:17,633 --> 00:40:21,116
I slipped like
like you thought this out in advance.
856
00:40:21,266 --> 00:40:23,633
And so after I mean, that's
that's our sin.
857
00:40:23,633 --> 00:40:25,583
Like,
yeah, we're not just fallen into it. We.
858
00:40:25,583 --> 00:40:26,866
We premeditated. Yeah.
859
00:40:26,866 --> 00:40:29,750
We put the pieces together
and we planned it out.
860
00:40:29,750 --> 00:40:35,033
And so we have to operate in,
um, in repentance.
861
00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:35,300
Yeah.
862
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:39,200
To, to go to God
and say I am repenting of this thing,
863
00:40:39,683 --> 00:40:41,750
which isn't just saying I'm sorry.
864
00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:42,983
It's a change of mind.
865
00:40:42,983 --> 00:40:46,050
It's a change of direction
as I was heading in this path towards sin
866
00:40:46,366 --> 00:40:49,850
and I'm doing an about face, I'm
turning the other way and I'm following
867
00:40:49,850 --> 00:40:50,783
after righteousness.
868
00:40:50,783 --> 00:40:54,200
So if the opposite of sin is
righteousness, I was heading towards sin.
869
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,433
Now I'm heading towards righteousness.
870
00:40:55,433 --> 00:40:56,900
I'm changing the behavior of
871
00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:59,633
if that behavior was
because I was going to the wrong bars
872
00:40:59,633 --> 00:41:03,900
or going to the wrong place or whatever,
I'm not going to go to that place anymore.
873
00:41:03,900 --> 00:41:06,500
If it was because I was on my computer
in a wrong,
874
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,866
I'm not going to touch that computer
in that way ever again.
875
00:41:08,866 --> 00:41:10,916
Like I'm
I'm going to change that behavior.
876
00:41:10,916 --> 00:41:14,416
But then we also have to go and repent
to that person and just say, look,
877
00:41:14,416 --> 00:41:15,650
there's there's no excuse.
878
00:41:15,650 --> 00:41:20,816
I'm not here to say I'm sorry if you feel
right that I did something wrong.
879
00:41:20,816 --> 00:41:23,633
No, no, no, no, no. I'm
sorry for what I did. Absolutely.
880
00:41:23,633 --> 00:41:26,000
And even in the case of your story,
you know,
881
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,166
you didn't
intentionally hurt this person. Right?
882
00:41:28,166 --> 00:41:30,983
And maybe what you did to this person,
it was unintentional.
883
00:41:30,983 --> 00:41:33,600
Yeah, but you still have to apologize.
884
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,616
Yeah,
And it's still up to you to go and repent.
885
00:41:36,650 --> 00:41:37,166
Yeah.
886
00:41:37,166 --> 00:41:42,150
And to say, Look, I was careless and
it wasn't intentional, but I was careless.
887
00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:42,750
Right? Right.
888
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:46,316
And so I have to apologize
for my careless behavior.
889
00:41:46,316 --> 00:41:46,766
Yeah.
890
00:41:46,766 --> 00:41:48,350
And I want to promise you, I'm.
891
00:41:48,350 --> 00:41:50,783
I'm going to set in these guardrails.
892
00:41:50,783 --> 00:41:52,066
I'm going to set in these boundaries.
893
00:41:52,066 --> 00:41:55,433
I'm going to do these things
so that I'm no longer careless with you.
894
00:41:55,466 --> 00:41:56,516
Yeah, Yeah.
895
00:41:56,516 --> 00:41:57,733
I think that's so good. It.
896
00:41:57,733 --> 00:41:59,783
It kind of brings to them.
897
00:41:59,783 --> 00:42:01,250
I think you touched on it.
898
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:05,366
The church doesn't talk enough
about repentance and repentance is
899
00:42:06,416 --> 00:42:06,866
I feel like
900
00:42:06,866 --> 00:42:10,016
it's it should be just a cultural norm.
901
00:42:10,016 --> 00:42:11,866
We should repentance
902
00:42:11,866 --> 00:42:15,866
should almost be like breathing
because we're always in repentance to God.
903
00:42:15,866 --> 00:42:21,383
I mean, God is so holy and and and we were
we were shaped and formed into iniquity.
904
00:42:21,383 --> 00:42:26,183
So really our our nature should always be
God, God, God I like I'm sorry.
905
00:42:26,183 --> 00:42:26,566
I'm sorry.
906
00:42:26,566 --> 00:42:30,916
I I'm not even for the things
that I don't know that I've committed.
907
00:42:31,966 --> 00:42:35,966
So it is interesting that you would bring
that up because it's not really common
908
00:42:35,966 --> 00:42:40,250
in Christian culture for Christians
to walk around in repentance.
909
00:42:40,250 --> 00:42:42,900
Yeah, like, well,
we'll buy a new pair of jeans
910
00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:46,350
and if somebody steps on them,
you know, we ready to fight,
911
00:42:46,433 --> 00:42:49,650
you know, and if someone says
they're sorry, we still going?
912
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:49,916
Yeah.
913
00:42:49,916 --> 00:42:52,916
Just make sure you watch yourself,
you know, instead of going, you know,
914
00:42:52,950 --> 00:42:54,350
it's, it's, it's totally cool.
915
00:42:54,350 --> 00:42:56,933
They just they're just Jordans.
I can buy another pair.
916
00:42:58,616 --> 00:43:00,116
But it is interesting
917
00:43:00,116 --> 00:43:04,816
because repentance isn't a big part
of our culture when it when God like you
918
00:43:04,816 --> 00:43:09,016
said, the Bible tells us how we should
always turn from our from our wicked ways.
919
00:43:09,016 --> 00:43:12,766
And I love what David said when he
when he said God
920
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,216
created me a clean heart
like renewing me or right spirit.
921
00:43:16,216 --> 00:43:20,366
So let me make sure that my heart
and spirit is right with you.
922
00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:24,050
And and also let me tell you
how important you are.
923
00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:28,516
You're I'm our relationship is so cast me
not away from your presence.
924
00:43:28,516 --> 00:43:29,633
Don't take your Holy Spirit.
925
00:43:29,633 --> 00:43:32,716
Because if you do that, what? Who am I?
926
00:43:32,716 --> 00:43:34,433
What am I going to do?
How am I going to live?
927
00:43:34,433 --> 00:43:36,683
How am I going to breathe? You know?
928
00:43:36,683 --> 00:43:38,866
So I think, you know, even in our walk
929
00:43:38,866 --> 00:43:44,250
as believers with each other, we are,
I think, God wants
930
00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:48,600
his heart for us is to be unified
the body of Christ, the church.
931
00:43:48,983 --> 00:43:54,566
So if I'm offending my my brother,
whether that be intentionally intentional,
932
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,983
it should be natural for me to say
that I find you like I'm
933
00:43:58,283 --> 00:44:01,666
you know, let's let's talk
about how to get an offended and I'm sorry
934
00:44:01,666 --> 00:44:06,083
I apologize that like how do we because if
if if our relationship isn't good
935
00:44:06,566 --> 00:44:09,750
then we're not unified
and that's not how the body works.
936
00:44:09,750 --> 00:44:12,600
So to that, just that being
937
00:44:13,700 --> 00:44:14,516
and being
938
00:44:14,516 --> 00:44:18,383
bothered by our brother or sister,
being walking in the fence
939
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,800
is something that going back to my father
940
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,016
I just had to grow in.
941
00:44:24,016 --> 00:44:26,716
You know, it's one thing to say
honor your mother and father.
942
00:44:26,716 --> 00:44:29,366
And I and I would say, you know,
I know my father. That's my dad.
943
00:44:29,366 --> 00:44:29,933
I love him.
944
00:44:29,933 --> 00:44:32,633
You know, I may not
I may not talk to him or.
945
00:44:32,633 --> 00:44:39,166
Yeah, but then it was the okay
after giving you and you you've said,
946
00:44:39,166 --> 00:44:42,900
you know, hey, I miss my son
and I wish I had done things better.
947
00:44:43,250 --> 00:44:45,800
And I'm and I'm busy going,
you know. Yeah, but you could.
948
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,683
You were a deacon in the church
and you taught me that
949
00:44:48,683 --> 00:44:50,250
you should, you should have known.
950
00:44:50,250 --> 00:44:53,100
And years go by. Yeah.
951
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:53,666
So finally,
952
00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:58,216
when I get to the place of true
forgiveness, I had to repent to my father.
953
00:44:58,366 --> 00:45:01,283
Yeah. For responding to him. Yeah.
954
00:45:01,283 --> 00:45:04,516
And and in a un-Christian or Christ
like way,
955
00:45:05,033 --> 00:45:08,000
because Christ doesn't go,
Yeah, you messed up and I forgive you.
956
00:45:09,050 --> 00:45:10,800
But I'm going to hold this over him
forever.
957
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,500
Yeah, yeah that's that's not
that's not the way.
958
00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:15,866
That's, that's Paul's
second word for forgiveness is to let go.
959
00:45:15,866 --> 00:45:17,216
Yeah. Yeah.
960
00:45:17,216 --> 00:45:20,033
So it
961
00:45:20,033 --> 00:45:23,366
honestly, it was
it was definitely a freeing, uh,
962
00:45:24,150 --> 00:45:28,400
a freeing moment in my life
to truly forgive my father and to see that
963
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:33,266
repentance also goes both ways,
You know, um, you you don't want to hurt.
964
00:45:33,650 --> 00:45:35,866
You don't want to hurt me,
and I don't want to hurt you.
965
00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:38,450
And we both did things to hurt each other.
966
00:45:38,450 --> 00:45:41,716
So let's, let's repent to each other
and first of all, I think
967
00:45:41,933 --> 00:45:45,566
one thing you did say
is let's make sure we get our relationship
968
00:45:45,566 --> 00:45:50,300
with God in the right perspective first,
because ultimately
969
00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:55,066
we have to know that these things affect
God above all things.
970
00:45:55,583 --> 00:45:58,316
And he's the one that we've offended.
Right.
971
00:45:58,316 --> 00:45:59,116
Right.
972
00:45:59,116 --> 00:46:01,816
And and forgiveness is also is
973
00:46:01,816 --> 00:46:04,950
a God is a God thing is like God language.
974
00:46:05,450 --> 00:46:08,816
Uh, so like
when when when David is repenting
975
00:46:08,816 --> 00:46:12,016
for his sins with Bathsheba
and all of that mess,
976
00:46:12,450 --> 00:46:16,283
if you read the Psalms that he writes
after that moment or in that moment,
977
00:46:17,116 --> 00:46:21,833
he even says directly against you,
have I said, Oh Lord, yes.
978
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:22,500
Yeah.
979
00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:25,500
And it's like, Nah, man, you like you.
980
00:46:25,883 --> 00:46:28,766
You murdered that guy
and you slept with that woman.
981
00:46:28,766 --> 00:46:30,450
That wasn't your wife.
982
00:46:30,450 --> 00:46:33,116
But now he recognized any time
I'm sinning.
983
00:46:33,116 --> 00:46:36,000
Yeah, any time I'm
doing something that I shouldn't be doing,
984
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,233
the first offense is my offense
against God.
985
00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:40,066
Yeah.
986
00:46:40,066 --> 00:46:43,883
And so I think that Christians,
we have to watch the way we approach God.
987
00:46:43,950 --> 00:46:46,950
Yeah, I know a lot of Christians
that when they pray,
988
00:46:47,216 --> 00:46:51,083
it's straight to my
my list of things that I need.
989
00:46:51,166 --> 00:46:54,016
Yeah. And then there are some Christians
that have matured beyond that, right?
990
00:46:54,016 --> 00:46:57,666
And so they go, okay, I'm going,
I'm going to worship how great God is.
991
00:46:57,683 --> 00:46:59,116
You know, we're going to enter his gates
992
00:46:59,116 --> 00:47:01,516
with Thanksgiving and prays
I'm going to magnify God,
993
00:47:01,516 --> 00:47:03,683
and then I'm going to give him my list.
Right? Right.
994
00:47:03,683 --> 00:47:07,200
And that's why I love like we teach on
this a lot, the Tabernacle Prayer,
995
00:47:07,883 --> 00:47:09,750
because it's this it's
this model of prayer.
996
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:12,950
This this that we take that
it starts with magnifying God.
997
00:47:12,983 --> 00:47:15,316
Yeah.
But then it goes directly into repentance.
998
00:47:15,316 --> 00:47:18,683
Before I'm ever asking God for anything,
I need to own up to what I've done.
999
00:47:18,716 --> 00:47:19,366
Yeah.
1000
00:47:19,366 --> 00:47:21,200
And I'm going to glorify God.
1001
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,550
I'm going to magnify his name.
1002
00:47:22,550 --> 00:47:24,500
I'm going to say, God,
you're awesome. Yeah.
1003
00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:27,900
And in comparison to how awesome you are,
I'm sinful.
1004
00:47:27,900 --> 00:47:28,516
Yeah.
1005
00:47:28,516 --> 00:47:31,850
And I've seen in these areas
and I need your your grace
1006
00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:33,300
and I need your forgiveness.
1007
00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:38,333
And before I ever get into the you know,
I need $1,000,000 and I need to, you know,
1008
00:47:38,333 --> 00:47:42,533
bless my kids and, you know, help my wife
to not be mad at me after this podcast.
1009
00:47:42,533 --> 00:47:45,533
And, you know,
before I get into all of that stuff, like
1010
00:47:45,616 --> 00:47:48,050
we need to approach God in that way.
1011
00:47:48,050 --> 00:47:50,900
First, we magnify him, then we repent.
1012
00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:51,616
Yeah.
1013
00:47:51,616 --> 00:47:54,166
And if that's our behavior,
if that's our model,
1014
00:47:54,166 --> 00:47:57,466
every time we approach
God is I'm going to take a moment here
1015
00:47:57,916 --> 00:47:59,333
and even repent for this.
1016
00:47:59,333 --> 00:48:00,983
I don't even remember what I did.
1017
00:48:00,983 --> 00:48:03,716
But I know that, you know,
this week has been busy.
1018
00:48:03,716 --> 00:48:06,266
I know that my thoughts
have probably been in the wrong places.
1019
00:48:06,266 --> 00:48:09,266
So, yeah, I just I. Forgive me.
Yeah, yeah.
1020
00:48:09,416 --> 00:48:11,116
And so many so many areas.
1021
00:48:12,450 --> 00:48:13,066
So many areas.
1022
00:48:13,066 --> 00:48:16,066
We don't
realize where we're we're failing.
1023
00:48:16,066 --> 00:48:21,116
It's just to have that just that template
of, of repentance at all times
1024
00:48:21,116 --> 00:48:24,300
that I think is the safest place we can
we can all be.
1025
00:48:25,350 --> 00:48:28,500
But I also think, you know, showing that,
1026
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:32,266
showing that same repentant
heart and also,
1027
00:48:32,483 --> 00:48:36,050
you know, expressing the same forgiveness
we've we've received from God
1028
00:48:36,983 --> 00:48:39,983
when we
when we have to reflect that to others.
1029
00:48:40,350 --> 00:48:43,366
I think it's important that we know
that is not in our own
1030
00:48:43,766 --> 00:48:46,916
flesh, it's not in our own ability
to forgive other people.
1031
00:48:46,916 --> 00:48:49,966
We always have to connect
to the source of forgiveness,
1032
00:48:50,783 --> 00:48:53,933
because when we when we forgive,
we like we talked about earlier,
1033
00:48:53,933 --> 00:48:57,166
we tend to put these different
and these different,
1034
00:48:58,766 --> 00:49:00,533
I don't know, things you have to do to
1035
00:49:00,533 --> 00:49:03,383
to earn my forgiveness,
that I need to see this and see this
1036
00:49:03,383 --> 00:49:07,500
and see that instead of us, you know, just
connecting to the source of forgiveness
1037
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:10,500
and allowing the Holy Spirit
to give us the power.
1038
00:49:11,483 --> 00:49:14,266
I know we talk about,
you know, the power of the Holy Ghost,
1039
00:49:14,266 --> 00:49:17,100
the power of the Holy Spirit,
and in relying on Him,
1040
00:49:17,100 --> 00:49:20,100
that's one of the supernatural powers
that we have
1041
00:49:20,250 --> 00:49:24,616
when people do things to us to be able
to, you know, forgive.
1042
00:49:24,766 --> 00:49:27,766
So I love that
1043
00:49:27,900 --> 00:49:30,900
I love how how Top Gun ended.
1044
00:49:31,133 --> 00:49:35,600
You said, you know, playing, playing,
have make it be football football.
1045
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,466
It was girls
volleyball in the first movie.
1046
00:49:37,466 --> 00:49:39,566
So they had to change it up
a little bit. Right.
1047
00:49:39,566 --> 00:49:42,683
So so it was
it was cool because for me it was
1048
00:49:43,216 --> 00:49:47,183
you seeing the relationship happen
through it.
1049
00:49:47,183 --> 00:49:49,883
I don't think I don't think
repentance quite happened.
1050
00:49:49,883 --> 00:49:52,883
I think it was sort of like,
Yeah, yeah, you're my guy.
1051
00:49:52,883 --> 00:49:54,866
We're just going to let it
go. Yeah, we're just going to let it go.
1052
00:49:55,916 --> 00:49:58,216
So, I mean,
1053
00:49:58,216 --> 00:49:58,650
I don't.
1054
00:49:58,650 --> 00:49:59,600
I know, I know.
1055
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,600
It was like tough trying
to put a sermon together around.
1056
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:03,900
Yeah, we're just going to.
1057
00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:04,816
Yeah,
1058
00:50:04,816 --> 00:50:08,350
There is a scene that I kind of love the
like after they both crash their planes
1059
00:50:09,050 --> 00:50:09,650
because that's.
1060
00:50:09,650 --> 00:50:10,716
That's how they do this.
1061
00:50:10,716 --> 00:50:14,400
Like, right, Like they,
they run up to each other and I'm sure
1062
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,933
just shoves Rooster to the ground
and it's like, I'm mad.
1063
00:50:17,933 --> 00:50:18,616
I'm mad at you.
1064
00:50:18,616 --> 00:50:21,233
Why did you do that? And I was like,
I just did what you told me to do.
1065
00:50:21,233 --> 00:50:22,400
And he's like.
1066
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:23,566
Okay, okay.
1067
00:50:23,566 --> 00:50:24,566
It's good to see you.
1068
00:50:24,566 --> 00:50:27,166
Good to see you, too. Like that.
That's like the right right.
1069
00:50:27,166 --> 00:50:31,766
That is the big moment of reconciliation
is I'm going to push you and yell at you
1070
00:50:31,766 --> 00:50:33,900
and you're going to say, Yeah,
but I just did what you told me to do.
1071
00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:35,866
Okay, cool. Yeah. And it's.
1072
00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:36,900
Hollywood. You got to do better.
1073
00:50:38,366 --> 00:50:39,050
I mean, better, right?
1074
00:50:39,050 --> 00:50:41,000
If forgiveness was that easy,
it would be dope.
1075
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,600
You know.
1076
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,300
Like, can you imagine, though,
if forgiveness does require you
1077
00:50:45,300 --> 00:50:46,966
to shove somebody to the ground? Yeah.
1078
00:50:46,966 --> 00:50:48,533
Yeah. Let's all just trash everybody.
1079
00:50:48,533 --> 00:50:49,466
Yeah, we're good. Yeah.
1080
00:50:49,466 --> 00:50:50,566
Yeah, I think.
1081
00:50:50,566 --> 00:50:52,616
I think that may be the man's way. If.
1082
00:50:52,616 --> 00:50:53,150
I think if.
1083
00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:56,600
If you saw two men forgiving each other,
I think that's why they did it that way.
1084
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,300
Like, I think Isaiah was on here
talking about how you know,
1085
00:50:59,300 --> 00:51:02,033
and when him and his brothers would fight,
you know. Yeah. Punch each other.
1086
00:51:02,033 --> 00:51:03,016
Yeah. Move on down.
1087
00:51:03,016 --> 00:51:05,600
Like it's pretty, pretty manly.
1088
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,500
Yeah.
1089
00:51:07,500 --> 00:51:10,733
But yeah,
the top guy Top Gun was a great movie.
1090
00:51:10,733 --> 00:51:15,650
I, I, I have to say, when I did
watch the movie, it
1091
00:51:16,283 --> 00:51:19,850
kind of did make me excited
because one of my secret passions
1092
00:51:19,850 --> 00:51:23,483
is I love like,
I was a motorcycle enthusiast.
1093
00:51:23,516 --> 00:51:24,866
Oh, really? So, you.
1094
00:51:24,866 --> 00:51:26,783
Know this side of Derek? Yeah, sport.
1095
00:51:26,783 --> 00:51:28,400
I was in a motorcycle club.
1096
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:29,866
I had a whole vest, and,
1097
00:51:29,866 --> 00:51:33,816
you know, I even shattered
my ankle popping wheelies, and I was.
1098
00:51:34,066 --> 00:51:35,116
Yeah, I was that guy.
1099
00:51:35,116 --> 00:51:36,383
You're a Kawasaki guy.
1100
00:51:36,383 --> 00:51:38,550
Are you. A Suzuki? Suzuki.
1101
00:51:38,550 --> 00:51:40,283
Suzuki Jigsaw 1000.
1102
00:51:40,283 --> 00:51:41,666
I started with a 750.
1103
00:51:41,666 --> 00:51:43,283
That's what shattered my ankle.
1104
00:51:43,283 --> 00:51:47,116
And my mom was like, Yeah,
you'll never get back on another bike.
1105
00:51:47,116 --> 00:51:48,766
And I was like, Oh, yeah.
1106
00:51:48,766 --> 00:51:51,983
So I got a bigger bike after
I shattered my ankle and.
1107
00:51:52,366 --> 00:51:55,516
And the Lord saw fit
that that bike will get stolen.
1108
00:51:55,516 --> 00:51:58,733
And I went, Okay, Lord, I, I concur.
1109
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:00,750
You got it from here.
1110
00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:04,516
But just seeing the,
just seeing those jets like zoom
1111
00:52:04,516 --> 00:52:08,400
through those mountains that like
the adrenaline for me was like, oh man.
1112
00:52:08,933 --> 00:52:12,500
So if you see me pulling up on the bike
soon, know that it was because.
1113
00:52:12,500 --> 00:52:14,900
You it inspired. I'm going back.
1114
00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,816
Do I need to apologize to Katie?
1115
00:52:16,816 --> 00:52:18,983
Do I need to repent to her? Maybe my mom.
1116
00:52:21,316 --> 00:52:22,666
That's all right.
1117
00:52:22,666 --> 00:52:23,666
Well, this has been cool.
1118
00:52:23,666 --> 00:52:26,966
I'm so glad that we finally got a chance
to to hang out on the podcast.
1119
00:52:26,966 --> 00:52:29,816
We'll bring you back again
another time. Yeah, let's do it again.
1120
00:52:29,816 --> 00:52:30,300
Yeah, man.
1121
00:52:30,300 --> 00:52:32,633
Thanks a lot. All right.
We're going to see you next week.
1122
00:52:32,633 --> 00:52:34,466
We're we're going from Tom Cruise
1123
00:52:34,466 --> 00:52:38,216
to Tom Hanks because we're looking
at a man called Otto, which is a movie
1124
00:52:38,216 --> 00:52:42,150
I never even heard of until certain
planning started talking about it.
1125
00:52:42,150 --> 00:52:43,366
And it's it's actually pretty cool.
1126
00:52:43,366 --> 00:52:46,283
So, yeah,
we'll be back next week. Take it easy.
