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You've said what you need. You've been clear. And now you're just... waiting. Watching to see if anything actually changes. Sound familiar?
This week picks up where last week left off. If growth can make the people around you uncomfortable, what do you do when you're the one waiting on somebody else, a spouse, a business partner, a friend, to do their own growing? Sami and Angela dig into the messy, undefined stretch between naming a need and having it met, and what to actually do with yourself while you wait. In this episode, we dig into:
- Two questions to ask yourself when you're stuck in the “wait and see” phase (one of which isn't “what do you want”)
- Why the hardest part of change isn't the first apology, it's the eighteenth one
- A working definition of boundaries that has nothing to do with controlling anyone else's behavior
- Permission to take a break from a friendship without a dramatic goodbye
- A reminder that patience during this waiting period is doing more work than it feels like it is
Angela tells the real, thirteen-year-old story of telling her husband she had healed as far as she could inside their marriage, and how it took him months (and his first pair of bifocals) to actually decide to change for himself instead of for her. Sami brings in the “start, stop, continue” framework from her team-building workshops as a practical tool for anyone stuck on the question “what do you actually want.”
If you're in the middle of this waiting room right now, this episode gives you a way to track whether the gap between an old pattern showing up and someone catching themselves is actually shrinking, and permission to hang on a little longer if it is, or let a relationship go quiet without setting it on fire if it isn't.
Press play on this one if you're stuck watching to see whether someone else is actually going to change. You don't have to have the answer today, you just need to know what you're watching for.
Related Episodes
- EP236 — When the People Who Loved the Old You Don't Like the New You: last week's conversation on what happens once you start changing; this week picks up the other side, what to do while you're waiting on somebody else to.
- EP215 — The Let Them Theory (Mel Robbins): the episode this conversation directly builds on. That one is the “let them” half. This one is the “let me” half.
- EP56 — Marriage Advice & Conflict Resolution: for more on the day-to-day mechanics of navigating a strained marriage, this is the deeper dive.
- EP148 — Setting Personal Boundaries: the practical follow-up once you've figured out your own answer to “if this continues, what will I do.”
You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching
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