STOP Beating Your Meat with this Tasty Treat_ THE DARK HISTORY OF GRAHAM CRACKERS

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Hello again. It's me, your favorite person in the whole
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wide world, Bailey Sarian. And I'd like to welcome you
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to my study. Well, actually to my podcast, Arc History,
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but it's in my study. It's cute, isn't it? If
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you're watching this over on YouTube, it's really cute. If
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you're listening to this, just believe me, it's really cute.
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This is a chance to tell the story like it
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is and, you know, to share the history of stuff
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we would never think about. So just sit back, relax,
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and let's talk about that hot, juicy goss. History goss.
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So today's story is absolutely wild. I'm not even kidding.
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I say that about every episode, but look, let me
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tell you how I got here. You know when you're
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like desperate for a snack at 2 a.m.? So you're
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like half awake and you do that walk of shame
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to the kitchen, freaking hit your toe on the end
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of the bed and like it hurts, you know, probably
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broke your toe. But eventually you make it is what
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I'm getting at. And then you reach your hand, you know,
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to the back of the pantry. For me, I grabbed
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the box of graham crackers because they're always there. I
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have graham crackers everywhere. in my cupboard for some reason.
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I don't know why. I don't know how they got there.
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So I checked the graham crackers, see if they're still
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good to eat. Then I like, you know, I don't,
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I honestly don't care. I just want a snack. Graham crackers,
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hell yeah. Carry that back to my bed. Take some little,
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little bites out of my, I eat the whole box
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to be honest, or whatever's left. Crumbs all over the bed. Yeah,
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I'm that person. Crumbs in my bed. I'm sorry about it.
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In the morning, you're like, was it all worth it? Absolutely.
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It was worth it. That was me. That's me every weekend.
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While dusting off all the crumbs on the sheets, you know,
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it got me thinking, does anyone else eat graham crackers
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or is it just me whose life is a mess?
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Like I'm literally just eating graham crackers at 2 a.m.
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no kind of topping or anything. They're stale. They're not
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even good. Like, is this my life? It is. And
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I'm just like looking at the box, trying to figure
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out what do people actually do with graham crackers besides
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use them for s'mores? Like how did we get the
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graham cracker? I'm a very curious person. I'm sure you're aware.
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Who made them? I don't know. Well, I got to Googling.
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Turns out they're actually named after a man named, drum
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roll please, Sylvester Graham. Wow, shocker. What's even more shocking
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is that they were invented with a very specific and
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interesting purpose in mind. Oh yes, the graham cracker was
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made to stop people from masturbating. Yep, you heard that correctly.
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You probably weren't expecting that one, were you? Instead of that,
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you'd be like, you know, with a graham cracker. So
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get your hands out of your pants and Let's get
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to know the inventor of the graham cracker, the one,
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the only, Mr. Sylvester Graham. I have my dark history
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book open to the graham cracker, stops you from masturbating chapter,
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very specific, but it's in here. And we're gonna learn
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about this. You ready? Great, because it's wild. Sylvester Graham
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was born in Suffield, Connecticut on July 5th, 1794. And
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compared to everyone else around him, Graham had a pretty
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sad childhood, okay? His dad and his brother died when
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he was just a baby. And then a few years later,
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his mother had a mental breakdown and was hauled off
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to an asylum where she would end up spending the
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rest of her life. I guess she died in the asylum.
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They thought she was crazy. I don't know. Couldn't find
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that much information about it, but sad. So from an
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early age, Graham was pretty much all alone. And with
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no other choice, Graham went to work at his uncle's farm.
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And it's like, yay, you know, he's got family now.
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Everything's gonna be okay. Of course not, you know, no.
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You see, Graham had an awful immune system and he
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was that kid that was always getting sick. So he
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spends most of his childhood sick and on a farm.
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Then when his teen years roll around, he leaves the
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farm and moves to New York for school. While there
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he works two jobs. So by day he's working as
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a paper maker, shout out to Dunder Mifflin. And then
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by night he's working at the town tavern. So he's
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like working two jobs and going through puberty. Good for him,
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I guess. But while working at the tavern, Graham starts
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to notice that the local patrons would come in one way,
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AKA sober. And then he would watch them like getting
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further sloshed by the hour and end up acting like
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complete fools. If you've ever worked at a bar or
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you have an alcoholic family member, you know exactly what
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I'm talking about. That's mean, but it's the truth. Because like, look,
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I worked as a bartender one time for like a
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small minute because I realized it wasn't for me. But
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you watch people come in, they're sober, they've got manners,
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they're respectful. And then you just watch them go down.
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It's wild. It's difficult. It's a hard job. Being around
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all of that made Graham completely swear off alcohol and
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drinking in general. Because if it made people act like that,
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you were never going to catch Graham even like touching
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the devil's whiskey. And this realization becomes very important to
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Graham's future. So put that away in like a box
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for now and then we'll pull it out later. He
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doesn't like alcohol and he doesn't like drunk people. Noted.
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But back to Graham. His New York life comes to
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a halt when he's diagnosed with tuberculosis, which, if you
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don't know, is an infection that could destroy your lungs.
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TB came in and, like, just ruined Graham's life. He
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had to drop out of school and move back to
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his uncle's farm to focus on his health. And, like,
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he's sick all the time, and he hates it, and
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he's wondering, like, why him? Why Graham? Why do I
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have to be the sick one all the time? So
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10 long years go by and Graham starts to see
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life completely different. This is important to know because Graham's
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health is literally the foundation for all of what happens.
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So over time, you know, he's taking care of his health.
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He's starting to get better and he decides, hey, I
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want to do what my grandpa and my dad did.
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I want to follow in the family's footsteps. Graham is like,
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I'm going to become a preacher just like his father
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and his grandfather. And he goes for it. He gets
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into one of the best religious schools around. He's excited,
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new school, new goal, new Graham, yay. But at this
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new school, Graham did not have a good time. He
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was experiencing the worst bullying. Many of them thought that
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Graham's beliefs and his interpretation of like the Bible and
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religion were just a lot. It was a lot, okay?
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They thought he was, somewhat annoying. Nobody seemed to like
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Graham and eventually he left school. Yeah. Seems like every
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time he gets up, gets an idea, has a passion
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in life, he gets right kicked back down again. Poor guy.
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So being bullied out of school would lead Graham to
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a full-blown nervous breakdown. So he ends up moving to
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Rhode Island where he meets his future wife, Sarah, and
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she nurses him back to health. I mean, he didn't
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have any family to go to. So this was This
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was different. It was kind. Somebody was actually wanting to
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take care of him for the first time. And it
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would not take long until the two would fall in love.
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In 1824, Graham's back to feeling like himself again. And
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the two decide to get married. Honestly, there's stories like
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a cute little rom-com that I definitely watch. I'd watch it.
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It's cute. She nurses him back to health. Once Graham
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was better, Sarah encouraged her husband to get back out
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there and try again. She had a little money to
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her name and she used that towards funding his new
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purpose in life, which was now being a traveling preacher. Oh, yes.
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So he begins his journey preaching the word of God.
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And Graham's timing really couldn't have been better because people
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seem to be straying further and further away from God.
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from God and religion and their values seem to be
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going out the damn window. I mean, at this time,
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STDs were spreading in America like wildfire. So Graham felt
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like maybe he could do the Lord's work. He could
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save the people from themselves. Jesus. Jesus. And let me
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tell ya, he was kinda onto something. And I know
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you're probably like, Bailey, I thought this story was about
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graham crackers. Like, why are you talking about a preacher? Yeah,
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you're right. but I promise it's all gonna make sense.
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And we'll get to the graham cracker and masturbation. Do
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this in your mind. We're in America in the 1800s.
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I'm sure you can imagine what that looks like. But
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let me tell you, life in the 1800s was no picnic.
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Oh no, it was not. Women are wearing all these
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hot layers of clothes. Ugh, nobody's showering. Things were moist. Uh,
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real moist. So not only was everyone stinky as hell,
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but germs, they weren't even invented yet. And like everybody
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was getting sick. And what I mean by that is
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that like germs are real, but the people at this
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time didn't know that germs was a thing. Doctors haven't
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put a name to it just yet so it wasn't
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invented you get it anyways at this time everybody's getting
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sick because nobody understands the logic of germs um not
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even doctors understood how germs worked or how they spread
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if you were sick with anything you know like let's
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say you had a fever they would do something called
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bloodletting and uh it's basically exactly what it sounds like
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They cut your arm open and let you bleed your
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infected blood into a bucket. And turns out, surprise, surprise,
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this method was not very effective. Did not work. Nay, nay.
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But that's how they would, you know, heal you. That
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was like the Tylenol. Cutting yourself and bleeding into a bucket. America. Now,
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on one side, you had doctors with their not so
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great medicine. And then on the other side, you had
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religious people and their own beliefs and views as how
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to handle sicknesses. So they weren't going to the doctor
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to bleed out, which, good, since we know it doesn't work.
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But if they weren't turning to doctors, who were they
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turning to? God. They were turning to God for help.
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They believed that the reason behind all this sickness and
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suffering was a moral thing. Oh yeah. They thought that
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all this bad stuff was happening to them because they
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were being immoral in the eyes of God. And our
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boy Graham, he freaking loved that shit. This was right
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up his alley. That's exactly what he believed. So Graham
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is out there doing his traveling preaching and his big
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hook was like, no more alcohol, which was easy because
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there was actually already a big push at the time
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to get booze banned. So Graham is on the road
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and he's been on the road for a while at
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this point, telling people not to drink booze. But something
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just wasn't, clicking. And that's when Graham starts preaching that
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booze was destroying not only people's health and personalities, but
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their families as well. So Graham started preaching directly to people,
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especially women. And after all, I mean, they're the ones
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dealing with their booze bag husbands while trying to run
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the household. I mean, look at Paul over here. Deadbeat.
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He does nothing, you know? He just takes all the credit, whatever.
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And I'm the one over here trying to like Okay,
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so this is when people really start to like Graham,
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because he seemed like a normal, everyday guy that you
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could completely trust. And that is where Graham succeeded, by
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talking to people on their level. Finally, regular, the common folk,
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felt like they were being heard and seen. And while
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he's starting to gain an audience, Graham has his light
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bulb moment. Ding! He realizes that people's health, religion, and
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perhaps maybe their lifestyle could all be connected. And that
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a healthy diet may keep you away from Satan's temptation,
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therefore keeping you healthy. He was onto something here. This
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new diet sermon actually starts to do pretty okay. Graham
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really starts to get attention from his audiences and build
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a solid fan base. So he takes it a step
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further and pretty much tells them, You know how you
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can really, like, for sure get into heaven, you guys?
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You need to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and most of all,
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no more masturbation. Now, first and foremost, as I mentioned,
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his audience were mainly made up of women. Women loved Graham.
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So Graham is traveling the country talking to groups of
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women about sex. which at this time was a very
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bold move. But what was so shocking was that Graham
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did not hold back when it came to preaching his
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views about sex. Again, this is a time when you
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literally didn't even say the word like boobie out in public. No,
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00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:45.580
you did not just say boobie. Send her to the island,
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00:15:45.960 --> 00:15:49.220
get rid of her. You'd be shunned, game over. Graham
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00:15:49.259 --> 00:15:53.000
didn't care. He was like, yeah, boobie, titty, vagina, sex.
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00:15:53.070 --> 00:15:56.429
Like he was going off. Graham even would preach to
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married people that they should only be having sex once
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a month. This was because Graham believed that too much
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sex was a sin that could leave you vulnerable to
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00:16:08.389 --> 00:16:12.429
Satan's grasp. But sex wasn't the only thing off limits.
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I mean, there was something way worse than having too
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00:16:14.990 --> 00:16:21.379
much sex. Something he called the sin of self-pollution. I
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00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:26.659
love that. I want that on a shirt. Sin of self-pollution? Ah,
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00:16:26.820 --> 00:16:28.779
what a name. What does that even mean? It's what
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00:16:28.820 --> 00:16:33.980
Graham called masturbation. Yeah, the sin of self-pollution. Graham knew
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00:16:34.039 --> 00:16:37.740
that the most important thing about masturbation, you can't spell
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00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:44.100
it without you, you little sinner you. Now Graham's logic
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00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:49.590
behind the anti-masturbation crusade was that masturbation caused inflammation within
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00:16:49.620 --> 00:16:52.120
the body which opened the door for a bunch of
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00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:56.970
other illnesses like heart disease, epilepsy, or even insanity. On
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00:16:57.070 --> 00:17:01.210
top of that, Graham believed this was the most dangerous
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00:17:01.389 --> 00:17:08.230
sin of all because masturbation could happen anywhere, anytime. Like
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00:17:08.289 --> 00:17:12.089
it was some creature lurking in the shadows, watching you
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00:17:12.150 --> 00:17:17.480
take off your pants. Take off your pants. You know?
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00:17:17.900 --> 00:17:21.059
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internet has to offer. You didn't touch yourself while we
320
00:19:05.960 --> 00:19:10.680
were gone, did you? Good, A plus. Remember, Jesus is
321
00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:14.279
always watching. So Graham was telling people to stop whacking
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00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:18.950
their willies and he had to have a good solution, right?
323
00:19:19.269 --> 00:19:23.109
You bet your titties he did. Ladies and gentlemen, the
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00:19:23.230 --> 00:19:26.869
moment you've been waiting so patiently for, please welcome to
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00:19:26.910 --> 00:19:30.150
the stage, you know her, you love her, the Graham cracker.
326
00:19:34.039 --> 00:19:36.210
I get lonely in here. I just want like stuff,
327
00:19:36.230 --> 00:19:39.009
like friends, like a graham cracker who comes, like becomes
328
00:19:39.049 --> 00:19:44.180
a person and comes and sits with me. I'm going
329
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:46.640
crazy in this room, you guys. Now, to be fair,
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00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:51.500
it was technically called the graham bread before. but it's
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00:19:51.539 --> 00:19:54.700
technically what we know it as, a Graham cracker. So
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00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:56.900
I'm just gonna call it a Graham cracker, okay? You
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00:19:56.940 --> 00:20:00.539
get it. But it's technically called Graham bread. Okay, so
334
00:20:00.579 --> 00:20:02.089
get to the point. How in the hell is it
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00:20:02.109 --> 00:20:05.170
supposed to stop me from masturbating? Graham, tell me about it. Well,
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00:20:05.210 --> 00:20:08.849
Graham believed that only the purest of people can live
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00:20:08.869 --> 00:20:13.529
a healthy, moral life, and also go straight to heaven.
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00:20:16.309 --> 00:20:20.039
He also believed that you are what you eat, which,
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00:20:20.619 --> 00:20:23.700
very true. So in order to be pure, Graham thought
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00:20:23.900 --> 00:20:27.819
you had to eat pure. Pure, wholesome fibers mean a pure,
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00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:31.900
wholesome human and a one-way ticket to the pearly white gates.
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00:20:32.309 --> 00:20:34.910
And an easy way to control pure eating was to
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00:20:35.029 --> 00:20:38.980
make a simple, clean food. And that's exactly what the
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00:20:39.079 --> 00:20:46.460
OG Graham crackers were. Graham's actual crackers were basically cardboard. Yeah.
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00:20:46.759 --> 00:20:50.319
They were made with two ingredients. Can't fuck that one up.
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00:20:50.440 --> 00:20:57.900
Graham's signature triple washed flour and water. Yum. So delicious.
347
00:20:58.789 --> 00:21:02.849
Thank you, Graham. This cracker perfectly represented all his strict
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00:21:02.910 --> 00:21:08.200
views on religion, alcohol, and disease. It was bland. It
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00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:13.150
was tasteless. It was two ingredients, him and God. You know,
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00:21:13.569 --> 00:21:16.470
these are purposely designed to not be tasty. And there
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00:21:16.509 --> 00:21:19.329
was a reason for that. The OG graham cracker was
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00:21:19.470 --> 00:21:23.309
plain and free of seasoning, fat, flavor, or anything that
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00:21:23.430 --> 00:21:28.500
might be considered indulgent. Back then, people were mostly eating
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00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:33.640
lots of heavy indulgent foods like meat, cheese, cakes, and booze.
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00:21:34.910 --> 00:21:37.690
Sign me up, you know? And nobody at this time
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00:21:37.769 --> 00:21:41.329
was making the connection between what you ate and how
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00:21:41.529 --> 00:21:45.849
it may be connected to your overall health, except for Graham.
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00:21:46.170 --> 00:21:48.509
Now he was taking it a little extreme, but he
359
00:21:48.549 --> 00:21:52.019
was also watching all these people eat crazy heavy foods.
360
00:21:52.630 --> 00:21:55.990
then go off and be super immoral. If you felt
361
00:21:56.009 --> 00:21:58.809
like shit one day, nobody made the connection that maybe
362
00:21:58.930 --> 00:22:02.549
all that beer and cake you consumed wasn't great for
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00:22:02.569 --> 00:22:04.910
the body. You mean I can't make it up the
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00:22:05.009 --> 00:22:08.230
steps without getting winded because of all the butter I eat?
365
00:22:09.390 --> 00:22:12.170
That makes no sense. What does butter have to do
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00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:15.049
with how I feel? Like, people are just confused. They
367
00:22:15.069 --> 00:22:18.190
don't understand. So what I'm getting at is at this time,
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00:22:18.269 --> 00:22:21.470
people are treating their bodies terribly, just like you on
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00:22:21.490 --> 00:22:25.839
a Monday night. Don't lie, Linda, don't lie. And don't
370
00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:28.500
even get me started on what people were drinking because
371
00:22:28.539 --> 00:22:32.799
clean drinking water at this time, hard to find. During
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00:22:32.839 --> 00:22:35.160
this time, there wasn't much of a sewage system in
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00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.539
place and it was even worse if you didn't live
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00:22:37.579 --> 00:22:40.339
in the cities. So the drinking water may have come
375
00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:42.839
with a little side of feces, if you know what
376
00:22:42.859 --> 00:22:45.680
I'm saying. So most didn't care to drink the water
377
00:22:45.799 --> 00:22:50.519
because it wasn't fully safe, which then led many people
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00:22:50.579 --> 00:22:54.809
to reach for alcohol instead. Why? Because it was the
379
00:22:55.009 --> 00:22:58.349
only beverage that didn't have shit in it. Literally. No
380
00:22:58.369 --> 00:23:00.910
wonder everyone was a raging alcoholic. I mean, they were
381
00:23:00.950 --> 00:23:04.430
drinking alcohol in place of water. How did they function?
382
00:23:04.700 --> 00:23:07.140
It seems like everybody was just really drunk. How come
383
00:23:07.160 --> 00:23:09.799
we're not doing that now? Can we go back to that?
384
00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:13.359
Cake and alcohol, actually? Can we do that? Let me know.
385
00:23:13.460 --> 00:23:16.160
But there's something worse than all the drunken chads, brads,
386
00:23:16.220 --> 00:23:20.180
and dads plaguing America in the 1830s. A disease is
387
00:23:20.359 --> 00:23:26.200
lurking in the shadows and it's called Cholera. Oh yes, baby,
388
00:23:26.259 --> 00:23:29.880
cholera comes to town and the people are scared. It's
389
00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:33.549
a deadly disease spread by contaminated water. So I bet
390
00:23:33.569 --> 00:23:36.220
you can guess where maybe this is going. The sewage
391
00:23:36.380 --> 00:23:40.349
system that I just brought up. It's spreading big time
392
00:23:40.450 --> 00:23:44.109
because of the poor sewage system. Mm-hmm. But this ends
393
00:23:44.190 --> 00:23:46.710
up being a blessing in disguise for our old pal
394
00:23:46.869 --> 00:23:50.430
Graham and his crackers because people started to notice that
395
00:23:50.710 --> 00:23:54.490
anyone who was following Graham's program and like eating his
396
00:23:54.589 --> 00:23:58.769
bland crackers, they didn't seem to be getting cholera. In fact,
397
00:23:58.930 --> 00:24:01.309
they seem to be doing like pretty well while everyone's
398
00:24:01.329 --> 00:24:05.029
getting sick around them. This was because in Graham's program,
399
00:24:05.250 --> 00:24:08.990
he preached that water was the only drink that God
400
00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:12.200
had made for man. So he suggested that the people
401
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:15.359
should filter it and drink a lot of it. So
402
00:24:15.380 --> 00:24:17.640
you're probably thinking, well, how the hell are people filtering
403
00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:22.259
water in the 1800s? Well, That's a great question that
404
00:24:22.299 --> 00:24:26.000
I definitely try to look into. And they said that like,
405
00:24:26.779 --> 00:24:28.680
they had a bunch of different ways to filter the
406
00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:32.380
water by using sand or charcoal to like get all
407
00:24:32.420 --> 00:24:34.970
the crap out of the water, you know? But don't
408
00:24:35.089 --> 00:24:38.049
ask me how they, I don't know. They just did, okay?
409
00:24:38.390 --> 00:24:41.869
You believe me? Great. But back to Graham again. So
410
00:24:41.910 --> 00:24:45.539
since Graham's followers never drank alcohol and literally only ever
411
00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:49.309
drank their filtered water, They were thriving while cholera was
412
00:24:49.569 --> 00:24:52.549
spreading through the nation. This was like the best PR
413
00:24:52.589 --> 00:24:55.609
Graham could have ever hoped for. It was making him
414
00:24:55.650 --> 00:25:00.849
look real good. So this is when his popularity skyrockets.
415
00:25:01.210 --> 00:25:04.579
Word of mouth travels. Now they didn't know it was
416
00:25:04.650 --> 00:25:08.420
just filtered water that was the key to not getting sick.
417
00:25:09.259 --> 00:25:12.079
The people were assuming that whatever Graham was doing, like
418
00:25:12.180 --> 00:25:15.809
all of it, it must be working. So many people
419
00:25:15.930 --> 00:25:20.369
adopted Graham's lifestyle diet and suddenly everybody wants in on
420
00:25:20.410 --> 00:25:23.650
this Graham fad. I mean, he's like Jesus, he's saving people.
421
00:25:23.890 --> 00:25:27.829
So we know this lifestyle included no alcohol, purified water,
422
00:25:28.410 --> 00:25:33.519
the Graham crackers, and also was just really prudish about sex.
423
00:25:34.210 --> 00:25:38.079
But what else did the lifestyle involve? Bailey, answer me.
424
00:25:38.660 --> 00:25:42.500
I will, Paul. My God, calm down. Graham's followers had
425
00:25:42.539 --> 00:25:46.740
to replace meat with homemade bread, fresh cow tit milk,
426
00:25:48.009 --> 00:25:52.730
fresh eggs, and cheese, but only in moderation. You can't
427
00:25:52.750 --> 00:25:58.269
go off on that cheese. A big no-no were fat, sugar, meat, alcohol, tobacco,
428
00:25:58.369 --> 00:26:05.000
and spices. Exercise, go outside, enjoy the Lord's work, and
429
00:26:05.099 --> 00:26:10.619
don't give in to any worldly temptations. AKA anything man made.
430
00:26:10.900 --> 00:26:14.079
Graham's followers were so dedicated to Graham and his lifestyle
431
00:26:14.119 --> 00:26:18.369
program that they actually gave themselves a name, the fans,
432
00:26:18.630 --> 00:26:23.690
the stans, a name, the Grammites. Yeah, he had stans.
433
00:26:24.009 --> 00:26:27.829
He had stans before people had stans. Well, people are
434
00:26:27.970 --> 00:26:30.690
flocking to the stores because that's where you can get
435
00:26:30.750 --> 00:26:35.210
Graham's chunky, triple washed, pure flour. Yeah, it's in the store.
436
00:26:35.369 --> 00:26:38.190
Then they would spend their whole day making tasteless graham
437
00:26:38.230 --> 00:26:42.150
crackers to stay healthy and free from temptation and sin. Great.
438
00:26:42.789 --> 00:26:45.430
But still there were like some people who didn't believe him.
439
00:26:45.910 --> 00:26:49.259
Like how can eating these dry, joyless crackers stop me
440
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:54.059
from wanting to get my sexual relations happening? So Graham
441
00:26:54.299 --> 00:26:56.940
sets out to prove his point with his own little
442
00:26:56.980 --> 00:27:01.339
experiment that nobody asked for. Graham visits a very respectable,
443
00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:04.950
wealthy family in the area. and acts like a fly
444
00:27:05.009 --> 00:27:07.089
on the wall. So, you know, he's just, he's just
445
00:27:07.109 --> 00:27:10.910
like there, he's taking notes on everyone's behavior and their
446
00:27:11.019 --> 00:27:16.519
everyday interactions and just observing them, the family. And Graham
447
00:27:16.680 --> 00:27:20.440
was just wowed by the family's oldest daughter. She was
448
00:27:20.460 --> 00:27:24.460
only seven at the time, but she loved saying her prayers.
449
00:27:25.210 --> 00:27:29.150
eating graham crackers and reading her bible even though nobody
450
00:27:29.269 --> 00:27:32.779
asked her to like she was just a little angel
451
00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:36.180
so graham was like wow this this family really is
452
00:27:36.339 --> 00:27:39.680
on the right path snaps for them my work is
453
00:27:39.720 --> 00:27:42.900
done here but as part of his study he came
454
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:47.200
back he circles back years later to the same family
455
00:27:47.700 --> 00:27:51.049
when the little girl is now a teenager. And boy,
456
00:27:51.069 --> 00:27:56.049
have things changed. Graham realized that this teenager was just
457
00:27:56.170 --> 00:28:00.890
a full-on hussy. She's flirty when guys are around, she's DTF,
458
00:28:01.079 --> 00:28:07.039
and worst of all, she's addicted to masturbating. Which my
459
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:09.400
first thought was like, how does he know she's addicted
460
00:28:09.420 --> 00:28:15.210
to masturbating? Were you watching or something? Like, how do
461
00:28:15.230 --> 00:28:19.140
you know? I've got questions. Anyways, because of all of this,
462
00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:22.660
Graham is like, oh my God, something has gone horribly wrong.
463
00:28:23.140 --> 00:28:25.400
And he was determined to find out why she turned
464
00:28:25.460 --> 00:28:27.549
out the way she did. I mean, she was a
465
00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:31.670
pure little angel. How in the hell did she end
466
00:28:31.710 --> 00:28:34.250
up being a prostitute? In the last few months, I've
467
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been following a morning routine that really helps me start
468
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off my day on the right foot. Let me tell you,
469
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I wake up, I make my coffee, I take a
470
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nice morning walk, then I hop in the shower. Look
471
00:28:46.900 --> 00:28:48.720
at me go. Now, when I get out of the shower,
472
00:28:48.920 --> 00:28:51.720
I make sure to take the time to moisturize my body,
473
00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:53.859
especially with all my tattoos and stuff. I want them
474
00:28:53.880 --> 00:28:57.599
to look shiny and healthy and hydrated, right? The seasons
475
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are changing. Skin tends to get a lot drier, at
476
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least for me. So I use the Undaria Algae Body
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480
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routine of applying the Daria Algae Body Oil is a
482
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great way to show myself a little bit of self-care
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487
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503
00:30:40.589 --> 00:30:43.829
So this teenage test subject had given into pleasures of
504
00:30:43.890 --> 00:30:48.430
the flesh and how dare she? And Graham, again, determined
505
00:30:48.450 --> 00:30:50.809
to find out how. And who does he end up
506
00:30:50.849 --> 00:30:54.650
pointing the finger at? He has to blame someone for this. Well,
507
00:30:54.710 --> 00:30:58.349
it's the mother, of course. He notices that she has
508
00:30:58.369 --> 00:31:03.380
been overfeeding her family with super fattening, rich, delicious food.
509
00:31:03.559 --> 00:31:06.720
And this sinner, she would even season their meat. She
510
00:31:06.740 --> 00:31:11.279
would serve sweet pastries. Oh my God. She would put
511
00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:15.920
tons of condiments on the table. Oh no. Yeah, she did.
512
00:31:16.180 --> 00:31:20.670
I guess she gave her kids coffee. That's a choice,
513
00:31:20.970 --> 00:31:23.950
but good for her. And she even gave the teenage
514
00:31:23.970 --> 00:31:27.049
girl a glass of wine every so often. Because as
515
00:31:27.170 --> 00:31:30.650
long as it's under her roof, she's okay with it.
516
00:31:31.109 --> 00:31:34.210
She's that mom, the cool mom. Not like a regular mom,
517
00:31:34.269 --> 00:31:37.130
I'm a cool mom. In Graham's eyes, the mom had
518
00:31:37.170 --> 00:31:42.430
completely tainted her once perfect child with all these indulgent pleasures.
519
00:31:42.869 --> 00:31:46.569
She turned her daughter into a little pleasure seeking gremlin,
520
00:31:47.130 --> 00:31:50.160
leading her down a road filled with lust blunt knee
521
00:31:50.299 --> 00:31:53.640
straight into Satan's open arms. And this was all the
522
00:31:53.700 --> 00:31:56.759
proof that Graham needed to add credibility to his theories.
523
00:31:57.160 --> 00:32:01.390
Side note, honestly, maybe this family didn't even exist. You know,
524
00:32:01.430 --> 00:32:04.009
that was kind of like, maybe this was just a
525
00:32:04.069 --> 00:32:06.529
story he made up, but we don't know. He could
526
00:32:06.549 --> 00:32:08.130
have totally made up this whole thing to help him
527
00:32:08.210 --> 00:32:11.019
prove his point. But all that matters is that he
528
00:32:11.630 --> 00:32:14.519
had this story and ran with it. So Graham starts
529
00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:17.160
to put more of the responsibility on the parents to
530
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:20.029
do their part within the family households. And if they
531
00:32:20.069 --> 00:32:24.009
questioned his ideas, he, Graham, would like point to the
532
00:32:24.049 --> 00:32:26.509
Tess family. Like, well, look at what happened to her.
533
00:32:26.789 --> 00:32:28.670
She has a tramp stamp now. Do you want your
534
00:32:28.710 --> 00:32:31.069
child to end up like that? I didn't think so, Barbara.
535
00:32:31.289 --> 00:32:33.390
So get that ketchup off the table. And this is
536
00:32:33.430 --> 00:32:36.990
when it seems to get a little extreme, to say
537
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:41.160
the least. Parents were encouraged to ambush their kid's room
538
00:32:41.220 --> 00:32:46.910
at night and try and catch them. Masturbating. Yeah, awkward.
539
00:32:47.130 --> 00:32:50.240
Awkward for everyone, I'm sure. My God, how embarrassing. Like,
540
00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:54.960
oh my God. Mom! Come on, perv. What is this about?
541
00:32:55.019 --> 00:32:57.480
But the thinking behind it was that if they caught
542
00:32:57.539 --> 00:33:00.630
their child with their pants down, then they could fix it.
543
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:03.589
They could fix the problem. And you had to catch
544
00:33:03.609 --> 00:33:06.069
them when they're young to get rid of this bad habit.
545
00:33:06.410 --> 00:33:10.529
If one of the parents did actually catch their children masturbating,
546
00:33:11.059 --> 00:33:14.609
Doctors told the parents that they could cure their sick,
547
00:33:14.900 --> 00:33:19.890
air quotes here, sick children simply by burning their clitoris
548
00:33:20.609 --> 00:33:24.250
or even circumcising the penis. Just a straight up DIY
549
00:33:24.309 --> 00:33:28.619
situation from your loving parents. Yeah, they did that. Yeah,
550
00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:30.680
they sure did. So not only is there a lot
551
00:33:30.700 --> 00:33:34.240
of shame around masturbation in society, now people are straight
552
00:33:34.279 --> 00:33:36.859
up scared to do it. But people's urges don't just
553
00:33:36.900 --> 00:33:40.940
go away. I mean, we're human. We have hormones. They rage,
554
00:33:41.380 --> 00:33:44.069
you know? But Graham was waiting in the wings with
555
00:33:44.130 --> 00:33:47.869
his bland, boring, not at all tempting in any way,
556
00:33:48.710 --> 00:33:52.269
graham crackers. If for any reason you or your beloved
557
00:33:52.390 --> 00:33:55.650
one are feeling some tingles in the lower region, don't
558
00:33:55.710 --> 00:33:59.599
be a whacker. Just grab a cracker. That's a good one.
559
00:33:59.839 --> 00:34:01.640
So at this point, people are like, fine, I'll eat
560
00:34:01.660 --> 00:34:04.299
this damn graham cracker if it'll make my boner go away.
561
00:34:04.950 --> 00:34:07.130
And honestly, maybe it worked. We don't really know. The
562
00:34:07.150 --> 00:34:09.289
logic here is if you're horny and you eat a
563
00:34:09.329 --> 00:34:12.909
graham cracker, you'll just, you won't be horny anymore because
564
00:34:12.929 --> 00:34:15.510
that graham cracker was so awful. I mean, when was
565
00:34:15.530 --> 00:34:17.639
the last time you ate like something that tasted like
566
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:21.099
cardboard and it turned you on? It kind of makes sense.
567
00:34:21.699 --> 00:34:23.219
I get it. I don't agree with it, but I
568
00:34:23.260 --> 00:34:26.800
get it. The logic, kind of. So after preaching about
569
00:34:26.840 --> 00:34:31.309
his lifestyle and his cracker for so long, Graham was
570
00:34:31.570 --> 00:34:35.170
fully having a moment. The impact of his popularity after
571
00:34:35.429 --> 00:34:39.150
cholera and the family experiment meant that the Graham cracker
572
00:34:39.250 --> 00:34:43.039
was suddenly everywhere. Everybody wanted a piece of it. And
573
00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:46.480
Graham actually was very passionate about sharing his idea with
574
00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:49.500
the people. After all, he was one of them. He
575
00:34:50.019 --> 00:34:52.099
was a man of the people. And to show the
576
00:34:52.139 --> 00:34:55.139
people that, he never wanted to charge or make any
577
00:34:55.219 --> 00:35:00.679
profit from his recipe or lifestyle suggestions. But, Graham did
578
00:35:00.739 --> 00:35:04.719
find another way to cash in on his success. In 1834,
579
00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:07.420
Graham decided to go on a book tour where he
580
00:35:07.460 --> 00:35:12.170
could hold seminars and sermons and give speeches all across America,
581
00:35:12.570 --> 00:35:15.230
talking about the benefits of making your food at home
582
00:35:15.610 --> 00:35:19.269
and not relying on all the man-made conveniences coming onto
583
00:35:19.309 --> 00:35:21.969
the scene. Graham is making a bit more than just
584
00:35:22.030 --> 00:35:25.619
money on this tour because this is when Graham strokes
585
00:35:25.780 --> 00:35:31.380
his ego and gets a little promotion. self-promotion. So the Grammites,
586
00:35:31.619 --> 00:35:36.139
the Stans, start calling him a prophet and they truly
587
00:35:36.179 --> 00:35:39.500
believe that Graham was here to do God's work. I
588
00:35:39.539 --> 00:35:42.460
mean when you go back to his childhood and he
589
00:35:42.500 --> 00:35:44.880
was sick all the time and everything he cared about
590
00:35:44.900 --> 00:35:46.820
it just didn't pan out. So it got to the
591
00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:49.000
point where he truly felt like this was why he
592
00:35:49.039 --> 00:35:52.079
went through all that suffering and sickness for the benefit
593
00:35:52.280 --> 00:35:55.829
of the greater good. He's God's gift to America. This
594
00:35:55.889 --> 00:35:58.170
is what he believes. Don't come for me. This is
595
00:35:58.210 --> 00:36:00.150
what he's like. Yeah, it's me. I am a prophet.
596
00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:03.900
The Grammites at this point had expanded and they're growing
597
00:36:03.940 --> 00:36:06.980
and spreading as fast as the herpes on the town Hussey.
598
00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:11.199
They're reading his books, saying their prayers, eating his crackers.
599
00:36:11.500 --> 00:36:16.130
It low-key sounds culty, right? Manson vibes. Kinda. Things are
600
00:36:16.150 --> 00:36:18.789
going well for Graham. Everyone's listening to him and eating
601
00:36:18.829 --> 00:36:21.809
his crackers. He's feeling like a celebrity. But this isn't
602
00:36:21.849 --> 00:36:24.510
our first rodeo, and we know as people start to
603
00:36:24.530 --> 00:36:29.090
get more money and more power, that's when things take
604
00:36:29.110 --> 00:36:32.000
a little bit of a turn, a sharp left, as
605
00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:34.820
I say. We've all heard of gut instinct, but have
606
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you ever heard of butt instinct? It's when your butt
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635
00:38:25.010 --> 00:38:29.840
come on this journey with me for a moment. Picture it. Stuffy, religious,
636
00:38:30.019 --> 00:38:33.639
mid-1800s America. You take your seat in like a fancy
637
00:38:33.679 --> 00:38:37.400
new theater that was just built. Maybe you're already a
638
00:38:37.460 --> 00:38:40.239
gramite and you just want some tips on how to
639
00:38:40.300 --> 00:38:44.550
make your graham crackers even more cardboardy. Or maybe you're
640
00:38:44.610 --> 00:38:47.329
new here and your friend Martha from work made you
641
00:38:47.369 --> 00:38:50.889
come with her because, you know, she can't do anything alone. Martha.
642
00:38:51.909 --> 00:38:55.329
Either way, you see this guy, Graham. He takes the
643
00:38:55.369 --> 00:38:58.710
stage and he unrolls a drawing of a vagina and
644
00:38:58.789 --> 00:39:04.110
looks at the audience and shouts, ladies, stop masturbating. It's
645
00:39:04.150 --> 00:39:08.929
killing you and your family. You're probably shocked. I would be. Again,
646
00:39:08.949 --> 00:39:12.070
at this time, people may have been talking about masturbation
647
00:39:12.110 --> 00:39:16.429
and hush, hush, but they were definitely not shown diagrams
648
00:39:16.969 --> 00:39:23.360
of vaginas and definitely not publicly accusing married women of masturbating.
649
00:39:23.699 --> 00:39:26.349
Oh my God, it was completely unheard of at this time.
650
00:39:26.550 --> 00:39:29.429
The audience were probably like, in the name of God,
651
00:39:29.510 --> 00:39:32.739
is that a vagina? Grab me my handbag, Martha. We
652
00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:35.219
are getting out of here. People are just offended is
653
00:39:35.260 --> 00:39:37.690
what I'm getting at. Thank you. But yelling at married
654
00:39:37.750 --> 00:39:40.909
women to stop masturbating wasn't the only talking point Graham
655
00:39:40.949 --> 00:39:43.969
was hitting on his tour. Another favorite of his was
656
00:39:44.070 --> 00:39:48.179
preaching about the evil of store-made bread. Mm. He's like,
657
00:39:48.239 --> 00:39:52.360
this is a vagina. This is your vagina on white bread.
658
00:39:52.440 --> 00:39:55.179
And people are like, what? What do you mean? But
659
00:39:55.219 --> 00:39:58.570
Graham was exposing the fact that bakers were adding copper
660
00:39:58.659 --> 00:40:02.869
and chalk to make their bread and crackers look prettier, whiter,
661
00:40:03.190 --> 00:40:06.750
and last longer, like it's some kind of damn bread
662
00:40:06.829 --> 00:40:11.250
beauty pageant. The ingredients that were being used were ruining
663
00:40:11.329 --> 00:40:15.469
all the nutritional benefits you would normally get or naturally
664
00:40:15.550 --> 00:40:19.050
get from homemade bread. And it sure as shit was
665
00:40:19.289 --> 00:40:23.010
not pure. Graham specifically called out the city bakers and
666
00:40:23.090 --> 00:40:26.550
flour merchants, saying that the wheat they were using was
667
00:40:26.869 --> 00:40:31.750
spoiled and inferior to his flour and his graham crackers.
668
00:40:32.090 --> 00:40:34.590
Which is true because they were using unnatural shit to
669
00:40:34.659 --> 00:40:37.380
make this bread look white and beautiful. What's that gonna
670
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:39.739
do for you? It doesn't do nothing for you, you know?
671
00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:43.300
Because of all this, it starts to mess with people's businesses.
672
00:40:44.280 --> 00:40:47.300
The bakers and stuff. Graham's preaching had gone from a
673
00:40:47.300 --> 00:40:51.820
little lifestyle change to now like going after big bread businesses.
674
00:40:52.179 --> 00:41:00.849
People stopped eating bakery bread and started distrusting their bakers. Ooh, fighting.
675
00:41:01.070 --> 00:41:03.590
Side note, turns out they still put copper in bread.
676
00:41:03.710 --> 00:41:05.409
I looked it up. I don't know. Are you allowed
677
00:41:05.449 --> 00:41:08.150
to eat this? Is that a good? Let me know. Okay,
678
00:41:08.190 --> 00:41:11.090
so Graham is still on tour and he does a
679
00:41:11.130 --> 00:41:15.019
tour stop in Boston, you know, showing his vagina diagrams.
680
00:41:15.670 --> 00:41:19.179
and his woo-woo books in hand, ready to call out
681
00:41:19.280 --> 00:41:22.280
even more bakers. But what he didn't know was that
682
00:41:22.420 --> 00:41:24.780
word had been spreading, and by the time he got
683
00:41:24.820 --> 00:41:29.210
to Boston, he was public enemy number one. You see,
684
00:41:29.869 --> 00:41:34.849
Boston was the biggest maker of crackers at the time. Yeah,
685
00:41:35.329 --> 00:41:38.280
that's just a joke in itself, but that's funny. Literally,
686
00:41:39.750 --> 00:41:42.670
Boston was the biggest maker of crackers at this time.
687
00:41:42.889 --> 00:41:45.650
As a lot of you can guess, there's lots and
688
00:41:45.769 --> 00:41:50.409
lots of angry flour merchants and bakers living in this area.
689
00:41:50.590 --> 00:41:52.969
And they're ready to rip into Graham because of all
690
00:41:53.070 --> 00:41:56.070
the business and money he had cost them. It's not
691
00:41:56.110 --> 00:41:58.960
just the bakers that are angry, it's the butchers as well,
692
00:41:59.699 --> 00:42:03.920
because Graham was very anti-meat and he had not been
693
00:42:03.960 --> 00:42:07.340
shy about preaching. That as well. I mean, he's messing
694
00:42:07.420 --> 00:42:11.320
with the wrong people. You know, butchers, they butch for
695
00:42:11.340 --> 00:42:14.340
a living with knives and stuff. And like the bakers,
696
00:42:15.510 --> 00:42:17.989
they use equipment. So I just feel like they'd be
697
00:42:18.010 --> 00:42:21.630
a little bit like aggressive in my mind. I don't know.
698
00:42:21.849 --> 00:42:24.769
So there's all these pissed off butchers and bakers running
699
00:42:24.789 --> 00:42:28.670
around town like, you heard of this guy, Graham? I
700
00:42:28.710 --> 00:42:30.809
know him. Like he screwed me over. And then the
701
00:42:30.849 --> 00:42:33.369
other guy is like, yeah, he screwed me over too.
702
00:42:33.489 --> 00:42:36.340
I hate Graham. And everyone's just like, realizing we got
703
00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:40.659
all this in common. We hate Graham. We should work together,
704
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:42.590
take him down. And that's what they were going to
705
00:42:42.610 --> 00:42:45.750
try to do. This gang of butchers and bakers marched
706
00:42:46.010 --> 00:42:49.030
right down to the hotel where Graham was staying and
707
00:42:49.050 --> 00:42:51.960
they're ready to seek out revenge for the bread lost.
708
00:42:52.500 --> 00:43:00.469
Bread meaning money. So Boston, 1834. There's a pack of
709
00:43:00.550 --> 00:43:05.329
disgruntled bakers and butchers hooting and hollering, screaming for Graham
710
00:43:05.389 --> 00:43:08.090
to meet them by the flagpole. They're like, yo, Graham,
711
00:43:08.130 --> 00:43:11.170
if you're real, man, come get some. So Graham notices
712
00:43:11.190 --> 00:43:13.769
that all these angry butchers and bakers are like yelling
713
00:43:13.849 --> 00:43:16.050
at him from the streets and getting all riled up
714
00:43:16.210 --> 00:43:19.829
and all mad. So what does Graham do? Well, he
715
00:43:19.909 --> 00:43:22.969
hides in the closet. He locks himself inside. He's terrified.
716
00:43:23.030 --> 00:43:25.539
He's not going out there. Are you crazy? I'm gonna
717
00:43:25.559 --> 00:43:27.599
try to die. So he locks himself in his room.
718
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:30.139
Many would say he was being a little bitch, but
719
00:43:30.300 --> 00:43:33.860
you know, he's scared. He's terrified. Anyways, so the Grammites
720
00:43:34.159 --> 00:43:36.829
show up to the hotel as well. And these people
721
00:43:36.869 --> 00:43:40.250
will do anything to defend their leader. So they climb
722
00:43:40.269 --> 00:43:42.150
the stairs all the way up to the top of
723
00:43:42.190 --> 00:43:45.409
the hotel. They end up making it onto the roof
724
00:43:45.449 --> 00:43:48.170
of the hotel where they can see all the angry
725
00:43:48.250 --> 00:43:50.929
bakers and butchers down below. And this is where it
726
00:43:50.989 --> 00:43:55.650
goes from angry riot to full on chemical attack. Oh yes,
727
00:43:55.989 --> 00:44:00.170
you see the Grammites, they dumped buckets of calcium hydroxide
728
00:44:00.710 --> 00:44:04.570
on the bakers and butchers down below. Well, what's calcium
729
00:44:04.590 --> 00:44:08.429
hydroxide if you don't know? It's a full-on acid. Have
730
00:44:08.469 --> 00:44:12.150
you ever experienced a chemical burn from the spiral perm? Yeah,
731
00:44:12.389 --> 00:44:16.550
that burning sensation you're feeling is from calcium hydroxide. And
732
00:44:16.610 --> 00:44:19.389
if used alone in big amounts, it could, it could
733
00:44:19.409 --> 00:44:22.420
freaking burn you, blind you. If you got that dumped
734
00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:26.019
on your face, oh baby girl, Lisa, your flesh would
735
00:44:26.059 --> 00:44:30.139
just melt right off. So bakers and butchers were screaming
736
00:44:30.159 --> 00:44:34.099
bloody murder in the streets because the Grammites up above
737
00:44:34.239 --> 00:44:38.280
are dumping buckets of this chemical down below. And now,
738
00:44:38.300 --> 00:44:41.000
you know, these people down below are going freaking blind.
739
00:44:41.099 --> 00:44:43.599
And not only that, they're coughing up the acid that
740
00:44:43.619 --> 00:44:46.920
they inhaled because it's burning them from the inside out.
741
00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:48.940
It was a scene out of a horror movie, let
742
00:44:48.960 --> 00:44:52.500
me tell you. Eventually, the rioters back down. And even
743
00:44:52.550 --> 00:44:55.699
though he and his Grammites technically won this battle, this
744
00:44:55.739 --> 00:44:58.650
was very upsetting to Gramm. It spooked him real good.
745
00:44:58.969 --> 00:45:01.610
He didn't want violence. He didn't think his haters were
746
00:45:01.630 --> 00:45:04.030
gonna like show up and try to kill him. I mean,
747
00:45:04.050 --> 00:45:06.130
he was just trying to make people's lives better in
748
00:45:06.170 --> 00:45:08.920
his eyes, you know? Bring them closer to God. Can't
749
00:45:08.940 --> 00:45:11.500
we all just get along? But the Boston riot would
750
00:45:11.519 --> 00:45:14.579
continue to bite Graham in the ass. The riots were
751
00:45:14.699 --> 00:45:18.150
all over the newspapers and the press was not on
752
00:45:18.210 --> 00:45:21.429
his side, even though he didn't even start it. Graham
753
00:45:21.489 --> 00:45:25.889
and his followers were now associated with violence. So the
754
00:45:25.929 --> 00:45:29.139
Graham movement at this point starts to slow down. and
755
00:45:29.159 --> 00:45:31.980
the spotlight on Mr. Graham starts to dim. And once
756
00:45:32.019 --> 00:45:34.539
the spotlight was off of him, people just kind of
757
00:45:34.639 --> 00:45:37.550
moved on. Graham kept going on with his preaching for
758
00:45:37.610 --> 00:45:42.670
as long as he could, but by 1839, he officially retires.
759
00:45:43.150 --> 00:45:50.090
And great timing, Graham, because during the mid-1800s, This is
760
00:45:50.150 --> 00:45:53.090
when like the world was getting more modern, at least
761
00:45:53.219 --> 00:45:58.980
in America. America's growing. Technology is advancing. And in the
762
00:45:59.039 --> 00:46:03.820
new future, religion was taking a backseat to science. Plus,
763
00:46:04.019 --> 00:46:08.519
Graham's main audience, women, were starting to gain their own independence.
764
00:46:09.019 --> 00:46:12.030
In the kitchen, they were using new inventions like stoves,
765
00:46:12.769 --> 00:46:18.909
electric mixers. Oh, what? Electric mixer? Can openers? Oh, shit.
766
00:46:19.489 --> 00:46:22.070
It's the future, baby. So women are spending less time
767
00:46:22.110 --> 00:46:24.650
in the kitchen and doing other things with their time,
768
00:46:24.690 --> 00:46:28.380
like going outside, flying a kite maybe, we don't know.
769
00:46:29.059 --> 00:46:32.440
Not just stuck at home baking graham crackers. Overall, what
770
00:46:32.460 --> 00:46:35.619
I'm getting at is women are becoming more independent. They
771
00:46:35.639 --> 00:46:37.409
don't need no man. They don't need to follow this
772
00:46:37.469 --> 00:46:40.090
man's diet. They don't need a kitchen, none of that.
773
00:46:40.639 --> 00:46:45.400
They don't want to listen. No. In 1851, Graham passes away. Now,
774
00:46:45.480 --> 00:46:47.579
I hope his pure heart took him right to his
775
00:46:47.659 --> 00:46:50.429
VIP sweet in heaven. And this is a side note.
776
00:46:50.710 --> 00:46:52.789
I'm not laughing. It's just like I want to know, like,
777
00:46:52.829 --> 00:46:55.170
how did he die? What was his life like before
778
00:46:55.190 --> 00:47:00.130
he died? And there's literally not that much information out
779
00:47:00.170 --> 00:47:02.030
there at all. It's just kind of like he just,
780
00:47:02.429 --> 00:47:06.050
I don't know, he just dies one day. But rumor
781
00:47:06.110 --> 00:47:13.679
has it. that Sylvester Graham, his cause of death, opium enema.
782
00:47:15.559 --> 00:47:18.199
Opium enema. Yeah, I don't know if he was shooting
783
00:47:18.300 --> 00:47:21.699
opium up the butt or what. I don't know, but
784
00:47:21.739 --> 00:47:23.739
you know, good for him. What a way to go.
785
00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:27.050
Sounds like a party in your ass. I want in.
786
00:47:30.539 --> 00:47:33.679
You're probably wondering, well, okay, Bailey, like this story has
787
00:47:33.719 --> 00:47:35.820
so many layers to it and so much information. I
788
00:47:35.840 --> 00:47:38.639
thought we were talking about graham crackers, right? What happened
789
00:47:38.659 --> 00:47:43.710
to the graham cracker? How did it go from being gross, blah,
790
00:47:44.210 --> 00:47:49.829
anti-masturbation bread to basically a delicious treat at 2 a.m.
791
00:47:49.849 --> 00:47:52.170
in the morning with crumbs all over my bed? Well,
792
00:47:52.210 --> 00:47:54.050
I don't think this is the best part of the story,
793
00:47:54.110 --> 00:47:58.369
but like, this is petite. Because remember those Boston bakers
794
00:47:58.409 --> 00:48:02.679
that Graham's followers dumped acid on? Well, plot fucking twist.
795
00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:06.820
They banded together and continued to have each other's backs
796
00:48:07.079 --> 00:48:13.059
for years. And eventually, they formed one big company. Oh,
797
00:48:13.139 --> 00:48:17.389
you may know this company. It's the National Biscuit Company.
798
00:48:18.289 --> 00:48:24.550
Or maybe as you know them today, Nabisco. Yeah! Whoops,
799
00:48:24.690 --> 00:48:28.210
shouldn't have burned those guys' faces off because they got together.
800
00:48:29.190 --> 00:48:34.159
Come for you, Graham. You. Years later, they roll out
801
00:48:34.179 --> 00:48:40.460
a certain sugary, cinnamony, rectangular cookie that looks a lot
802
00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:46.199
like Graham's famous crackers. Huh, but the difference? They taste
803
00:48:47.099 --> 00:48:55.119
way better. Oh yeah, they're everything Graham preached against. Indulgent. Mm-hmm. Crispy, crunchy, delicious.
804
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:58.409
And if that wasn't a big enough slap in the face,
805
00:48:58.949 --> 00:49:03.889
Nabisco went ahead and named this new delicious cracker the
806
00:49:04.010 --> 00:49:09.650
Graham Cracker. Yeah, that's right. Graham's name. Graham's name makes
807
00:49:09.670 --> 00:49:14.010
Nabisco a ton of money. They even ran advertisements where
808
00:49:14.050 --> 00:49:17.570
they shit on the original Graham Cracker, calling it so
809
00:49:17.650 --> 00:49:21.559
tasteless and uninviting that it almost reflects a prescription. What
810
00:49:21.579 --> 00:49:23.840
they're doing is they're trying to slander Graham's name. They're
811
00:49:23.860 --> 00:49:25.900
just like trying to drag him through the mud. And
812
00:49:25.920 --> 00:49:29.590
that's how you did it. Tasteless and uninviting. It almost
813
00:49:29.619 --> 00:49:33.070
requires a prescription. Those are fighting words back then. This
814
00:49:33.329 --> 00:49:38.449
new Nabisco graham cracker was everything Graham hated. Nabisco is
815
00:49:38.469 --> 00:49:41.769
the kind of petty queen that Honestly, kind of love
816
00:49:41.809 --> 00:49:45.250
to see it, but you know, it's kind of funny,
817
00:49:45.429 --> 00:49:47.889
but not really, but kind of. I don't really know.
818
00:49:47.909 --> 00:49:52.960
I just know I like graham crackers. They are dedicated
819
00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:56.440
to the petty because they still sell this version of
820
00:49:56.500 --> 00:49:59.710
the graham cracker which is the one we know today.
821
00:49:59.829 --> 00:50:03.349
The story was wild. And honestly, a little all over
822
00:50:03.409 --> 00:50:07.449
the place, especially since this is all about the graham cracker.
823
00:50:07.469 --> 00:50:10.309
And there's so much we had to leave out of
824
00:50:10.349 --> 00:50:13.610
this story just because it's insane, you guys. I could
825
00:50:13.630 --> 00:50:16.849
do a four-part series on this whole graham guy and
826
00:50:16.889 --> 00:50:20.760
just everything because he essentially started this diet that we
827
00:50:20.820 --> 00:50:24.929
still kind of follow today. Not necessarily the, like, masturbation
828
00:50:24.949 --> 00:50:30.079
and all that, but, like, clean eating, drinking water, going outside, exercising,
829
00:50:30.199 --> 00:50:34.139
good sleep. Like, all the basics is exactly what Graham
830
00:50:34.440 --> 00:50:37.590
believed as well, plus the religious side of things. So
831
00:50:37.639 --> 00:50:40.010
it's like he's kind of the guy that started it all.
832
00:50:40.250 --> 00:50:42.909
Isn't it weird? It's like this one guy who's kind
833
00:50:42.949 --> 00:50:46.320
of weird. We, uh... We took it and ran with it.
834
00:50:46.429 --> 00:50:48.670
But I'm just dying to know who you thought had
835
00:50:48.710 --> 00:50:53.030
the wildest backstory. Popcorn or graham crackers? Let me know
836
00:50:53.070 --> 00:50:55.760
down below. Look, ultimately, Graham wanted us to take care
837
00:50:55.780 --> 00:50:59.320
of ourselves so we could live happy, healthy lives and
838
00:50:59.360 --> 00:51:01.840
go to heaven. And look, he was right about a
839
00:51:01.860 --> 00:51:05.380
few things. Filtered water is definitely better for you than
840
00:51:05.480 --> 00:51:09.719
shit water. It literally saved the Grahamites' lives from cholera.
841
00:51:10.260 --> 00:51:12.539
And if you're thinking, how did anyone fall for all
842
00:51:12.559 --> 00:51:14.619
of that Graham stuff? Well, just think of all the
843
00:51:14.659 --> 00:51:18.119
stupid food things you've believed before. For me in middle school,
844
00:51:18.820 --> 00:51:22.639
everyone thought that green Skittles made your boobs bigger and
845
00:51:22.659 --> 00:51:25.710
the orange ones made you horny. We believe that, you know?
846
00:51:25.730 --> 00:51:27.630
I don't know about you guys. If you had something
847
00:51:27.650 --> 00:51:29.269
like that in school, let me know. But I think
848
00:51:29.289 --> 00:51:31.989
the big takeaway here is that we assume food is
849
00:51:32.050 --> 00:51:36.750
created to be like tasty, nutritious, and simply just food
850
00:51:36.949 --> 00:51:39.510
when like so much of it is designed to taste
851
00:51:39.550 --> 00:51:43.710
like cardboard and like stop you from, it always has
852
00:51:43.750 --> 00:51:46.949
some kind of other meaning. I've been going down so
853
00:51:46.969 --> 00:51:50.360
many food rabbit holes. I think this whole season might
854
00:51:50.449 --> 00:51:54.940
just be about food. I would actually love that, but
855
00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:56.659
I'm not gonna do that. But I would love that.
856
00:51:56.940 --> 00:52:01.920
Eat your Skittles, let your boobs grow, eat other healthy stuff.
857
00:52:02.420 --> 00:52:06.710
And if you feel like it, maybe masturbate. Because if
858
00:52:06.769 --> 00:52:10.590
it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. You know,
859
00:52:10.710 --> 00:52:18.590
if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad.
860
00:52:18.769 --> 00:52:21.150
I hope I win a Grammy. And look, to be honest,
861
00:52:21.349 --> 00:52:24.570
after this episode, I never want to see a graham
862
00:52:24.610 --> 00:52:28.170
cracker ever again because I don't even care if it's
863
00:52:28.210 --> 00:52:30.750
a s'more. And that says a lot because I love
864
00:52:30.809 --> 00:52:35.519
a s'more. There's just so much about graham. Oh, man,
865
00:52:35.539 --> 00:52:38.860
so many layers to this man. I'm exhausted of this man.
866
00:52:39.099 --> 00:52:43.050
In conclusion, the next time I masturbate, Graham, I'm going
867
00:52:43.070 --> 00:52:45.869
to be thinking about you, baby. Well, everyone, thank you
868
00:52:45.909 --> 00:52:49.070
for learning with me today. I hope you learned something new.
869
00:52:49.289 --> 00:52:51.489
You'll never look at a graham cracker the same, right?
870
00:52:51.510 --> 00:52:54.690
You'll be like, this used to stop people from masturbating.
871
00:52:54.849 --> 00:52:57.670
And that's a fun story to tell your friends, isn't it?
872
00:52:58.510 --> 00:53:00.829
Come on, we need conversation to talk about these days.
873
00:53:01.170 --> 00:53:03.050
This is a good one. Remember, don't be afraid to
874
00:53:03.090 --> 00:53:06.449
ask questions to get the whole story because you and
875
00:53:06.489 --> 00:53:08.909
we all deserve that. I'd love to hear your guys'
876
00:53:08.969 --> 00:53:12.769
reaction to this story. So over on social media, make
877
00:53:12.829 --> 00:53:15.639
sure to use the hashtag dark history so I can
878
00:53:16.679 --> 00:53:18.539
see what you guys are talking about. I come and look,
879
00:53:18.840 --> 00:53:21.659
I see you, see you. Join me over on my
880
00:53:21.699 --> 00:53:24.760
YouTube where you can watch these episodes on Thursday after
881
00:53:24.820 --> 00:53:28.199
the podcast airs. And while you're there, Don't forget to
882
00:53:28.239 --> 00:53:31.320
check out my murder mystery makeup. I hope you have
883
00:53:31.340 --> 00:53:35.059
a wonderful day today. You make good choices and you
884
00:53:35.079 --> 00:53:37.699
keep your hands out of your pants. I'll be talking
885
00:53:37.719 --> 00:53:43.139
to you next week. Goodbye. This podcast is executive produced
886
00:53:43.159 --> 00:53:48.679
by me, Bailey Sarian, Kimberly Jacobs, Dunya McNeely from Three Arts,
887
00:53:49.159 --> 00:53:52.159
Kevin Grush, and Claire Turner. Big thank you to the writers,
888
00:53:52.360 --> 00:53:58.190
Allison Filobos, Joey Scavuzzo, Katie Burris, and me, Bailey Sarian, hi.
889
00:53:58.949 --> 00:54:04.170
Shot and edited by Tafadzwa Nemarundwe and Lily Young. Research
890
00:54:04.210 --> 00:54:08.909
provided by Ashley Spurgeon. A big thank you to our expert,
891
00:54:09.210 --> 00:54:14.289
Adam Spritzen, PhD. Oh, and I'm last. I'm your host,
892
00:54:14.369 --> 00:54:17.289
Bailey Sarian. Why am I last on the list of
893
00:54:17.449 --> 00:54:23.070
my show? You would think I'd be at the top, right, Paul? Oh, Joan, Joan, hey, girl.
894
00:54:24.190 --> 00:54:28.599
You still got the vibrator? What is that? That's a s'more?
895
00:54:28.739 --> 00:54:30.619
Looks like a vibrator. It's on stick.