Bobby Eats Cupcakes Everyday

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Ho, ho, ho.
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Ho, ho, ho.
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Matty, Matty.
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Matty, Matty, Matty.
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Merry Christmas to you.
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Look what we have.
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We have Christmas stuff.
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Brand new Krimis merch.
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Krimis merch.
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You gotta get it.
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Juicy's got the Home Alone shout-out with her face, and
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we did her glasses on it even, which is amazing.
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Mine's just red with Bad Friends.
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You've got the OG Bad Friends, and.
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I've got the ugly family Walmart photo. Go to badfriendsmerch.com.
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You can get all this stuff there. It's great for stockings. Okay,
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say some other stuff it's great for.
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It's good for under the tree.
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And?
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It's good for Santa.
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And?
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And elves.
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And?
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Eggnog.
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Okay.
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Wearing this and drinking eggnog is so good.
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Go to badfriendsmerch.com. Hey, bad friends. I'm going to be
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in Boston. New Year's Eve. Come out and see me
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New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve the night before.
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If you already have plans on New Year's Eve, come
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see me the night before. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. andrewsantino.com.
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Who are these two idiots?
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A white dude and an Asian dude.
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You two are disgusting.
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Oh, you two are something.
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We're bad friends.
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What the fuck are you talking about, man?
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No, no, no. Hold on. All right, Max. Deliver the
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keys and the Red Bull to.
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Well, that's his name?
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That's Max.
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That's me.
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That's me.
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That's our new intern.
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I know, but.
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Do you not know who our interns are?
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I know, but.
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Is he Spectrum or?
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Is he?
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Yeah.
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You tell me.
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He's like super Spectrum. He's a super Spectrum.
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Bring up some traits of people that are on the Spectrum.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And we'll just go down the list.
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I'd love to know because I've been observing him.
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You want him to sit down and talk to him
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for a second?
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I don't really. Go ahead, Max.
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Max, go sit down.
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Max, right? Sit down.
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Max, sit down and put on the headphones.
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Do you get your hairstyle from the Kalkins? I mean,
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did you see how Maloney went? Oh, that's the one.
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Oh, Macaulay?
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Any of them.
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Do you know who the other Kalkins are?
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No.
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Do you know that they're actors?
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I know Macaulay Culkin.
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He is the sickest.
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There's another one.
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Who's the other one?
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The other one's on Succession. You like Succession.
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I've only seen like the first season.
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Yeah, he's on every single episode. Who is he? Kieran Culkin.
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Kieran Culkin.
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Oh, really?
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He looks exactly like Macaulay Culkin.
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He looks just like Macaulay Culkin.
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And who's the third one? Rory.
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Rory. What movie?
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Nobody knows.
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Signs?
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Oh, yeah.
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He was a Signs kid? No, he wasn't.
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Rory Culkin was in Signs.
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He was the kid with the water.
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No, the girl was the one with the water. That's
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her brother. Wait, Google Rory Culkin in Signs.
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What did he do in Signs?
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He was the son of fucking Mel!
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God, don't get me angry.
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It's a great movie. What are you doing zooming out?
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Wait a minute.
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That's Rory Culkin. Do you remember he tilts the fucking
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Mel's head? That's him to the left.
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Go back to the picture, that first one?
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Yeah.
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Who's that guy on the left? Is that Kanye West?
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No, that's not Kanye West. That's the first guy that
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did that. I think Kanye West was influenced by this guy.
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Is that Kanye East? East, yeah. That is right there.
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Mel Gibson. Yeah, so Rory Culkin was in Signs. He
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was great in that movie.
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Shout out to the Culkin clan.
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They're killing it. So did you see Signs?
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No, never seen Signs.
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Okay.
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Do you know what it is?
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No.
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We'll tell you what the movie's about.
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Well, so for our audience, by the way, this is
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our intern, Max. He is a family friend of mine.
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He's working for us. And is he doing a good job, guys?
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Yeah.
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Fancy tells the truth, and Carlos says, and you know what, Carlos?
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I like you more.
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Yeah.
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Because Fancy went like this. You know how judgmental he is,
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Spanish people. You're doing a good job, Max.
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So Signs, tell them about Signs, because he's just been
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out for so long. So Signs.
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It's about an alien invasion. M.
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Cheyenne. M.
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Naxamalax.
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Oh, he makes good movies. M.
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Night Shyamalan.
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Shyamalan?
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Shyamalan Ding Dong did it.
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Right, so he, basically, it's like a gay sci-fi, right?
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It's a gay sci-fi movie.
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It's a gay sci-fi movie. It was the first gay
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sci-fi movie of its kind.
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So these aliens come down and Mel Gibson sees them
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kissing in a field.
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Okay.
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And he's smoking a cigarette and he sees.
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Cigar, it's a cigar. It's a cigar? It's a Cuban cigar.
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It's a Cuban cigar.
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Because he's half Cuban in it. That's right.
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Right. And he sees these two aliens kissing in a field.
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That's him with his Cuban cigar right there.
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And that's a Cuban right there.
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Yeah, right next to him.
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He hangs out with Cubans.
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And right now they're just friends.
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They're just friends.
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They're just friends, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Love that.
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I've seen it. Yeah, that's great, right? You saw it?
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I've seen signs.
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Yeah, and what happens is.
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Two male aliens are kissing.
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See, Mel is a preacher, but he's gay.
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Gotcha.
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Right, he's gay, but he hasn't come out to his family, right?
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And he murdered his wife, but that's like later.
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Wait, he murdered her?
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Yeah.
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I thought... I thought the little boy kills her.
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Through him, though.
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Right, he takes over his body.
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Right, right.
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Through him he does it.
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Right.
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Mel Gibson is a gay... This isn't hard.
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No, no, I know.
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Mel Gibson's a gay preacher. He sees two gay aliens kissing.
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The little boy embodies Mel and kills his wife, which
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is his mother.
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Is the little boy the alien?
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Huh?
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Is the little boy the alien?
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No. The little boy's his son!
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Human, yeah.
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He's a human, right? The fucking... Aliens are gay. Those
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ones in the field. Isn't his son?
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His son's making love to another alien. What are you
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talking about?
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And you can tell that the only reason you know
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that they're gay when the spaceship comes down, it's like,
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And then they come out and they go, take me
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to your leader, your leader, your leader, leader, leader, leader.
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I thought that part, though, was like.
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That was a little over the top.
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Way over the top. It kind of throws it off.
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I just thought that was overkill. They didn't need to
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be that flamboyant about it.
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Yeah, kind of stereotypical. But it was a different time.
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It was. But signs is a symbol, right? And the
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sign is that like.
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This is the sign. That's how they say, take me
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to your leader.
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On the two gay aliens, on their bodies, there is a...
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They have a hieroglyphic. tattoo-y kind of a thing.
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Yeah, what is it?
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And it's like... I don't remember. Well, it's a rainbow flag. Oh, right.
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Well, no, no, no. It's an all-inclusive flag.
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Oh, that's what it was.
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Yeah, because I think they updated it.
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Well, that's how it came up because the signs came
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out and then that's how they created the sign for
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the movement.
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And the end scene, the aliens are playing tug-of-war, but
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they're doing it with anal beads. So they're looking both
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in different directions and they're pulling as hard as they
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can and the beads are.
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And Rory Culkin... for some reason, he does a jump
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rope thing.
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So... No, they do the... The thing goes.
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They're able to be jump roping.
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He just assumes that it's playtime.
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Right.
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And he does like eight, eight to ten, right? I
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think it's ten. And Mel goes like, stop it!
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Cut it out!
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Cut it out!
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That's what Mel says.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Anyway, that's the movie.
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That's the movie.
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That's a really good movie.
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Yeah, you should see it. There's a twist, though.
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Oh.
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Yeah.
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What is the twist? M.
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Night always has a twist.
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Yeah. Do you remember what the twist was in Signs?
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Well.
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The twist is, okay, so the kid ends up also
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feeling really gay.
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Yeah, I think that's right.
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Yeah, and then they find out the son isn't Mel
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Gibson's blood son.
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That's right, that's right, that's right.
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His mom was dead, and in her will, they find
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out that it's not really his father. And then despite
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the age difference, they fall in love, Mel Gibson and
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his non-biological son. And they're happily gay together.
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That's it.
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That's it.
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Bing, bing, bing, boom.
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And they're also dead the whole time.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
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They are dead the whole time, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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They're all dead for the whole time. Yes, they are. Yeah,
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that's it. Which is, you know, he should change themes. Like,
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he should switch it up, that Shama Lama.
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I know.
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Well, the kids saw dead people in the original one,
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but this time they were dead themselves.
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Yeah.
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Well, that's pretty good.
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That's pretty good, yeah.
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Yeah. It was no village, but it was pretty good.
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Yeah.
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It's pretty good. You gonna watch it?
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I mean, yeah, it's on my list now.
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Let me ask you something, Max. Is that your name, right?
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Yeah, yeah.
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How old are you?
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00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:43.079
I'm 20.
264
00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:45.199
Where do you live in?
265
00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:46.339
He lives here.
266
00:07:46.420 --> 00:07:47.439
I live here. I know, but where?
267
00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:48.439
Like down the street.
268
00:07:49.160 --> 00:07:49.939
But in an apartment?
269
00:07:50.160 --> 00:07:51.339
No, with my parents.
270
00:07:52.899 --> 00:07:54.560
That's mean.
271
00:07:55.259 --> 00:07:55.899
That's mean.
272
00:07:56.139 --> 00:07:57.819
This time of year, I have allergies.
273
00:07:58.120 --> 00:07:58.730
Oh, is that what it was?
274
00:07:58.759 --> 00:08:00.029
Right, and so it just comes out.
275
00:08:00.089 --> 00:08:00.910
Get him some Claritin.
276
00:08:01.310 --> 00:08:02.389
Yeah.
277
00:08:02.649 --> 00:08:03.810
I'm sorry, get him some Claritin.
278
00:08:04.009 --> 00:08:06.949
Yeah, with an R. So let me ask you something.
279
00:08:07.500 --> 00:08:09.819
Your little dear parents?
280
00:08:10.360 --> 00:08:11.240
He's 20 years old.
281
00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:11.879
I didn't do anything.
282
00:08:12.259 --> 00:08:14.610
Why are you making fun of him? He's like 40
283
00:08:14.610 --> 00:08:15.610
years younger than you.
284
00:08:15.689 --> 00:08:21.949
I'm not making fun of him. Fuck you. I wasn't
285
00:08:22.009 --> 00:08:24.670
doing that. I wasn't doing that. I'm sorry if that
286
00:08:24.689 --> 00:08:27.589
came across that way. Do you have a job? This
287
00:08:27.670 --> 00:08:27.870
is my job.
288
00:08:27.910 --> 00:08:29.149
This is his fucking job.
289
00:08:29.170 --> 00:08:30.129
This is his job?
290
00:08:30.149 --> 00:08:31.550
Yeah, we hired him. I did?
291
00:08:32.009 --> 00:08:34.120
I did. Oh, but does it come out of my
292
00:08:34.149 --> 00:08:34.600
shit or no?
293
00:08:34.620 --> 00:08:35.360
You better believe it.
294
00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:38.019
Oh, my God. Well, next time you hire people, can
295
00:08:38.059 --> 00:08:39.419
I go through that process with you?
296
00:08:39.500 --> 00:08:39.639
Nope.
297
00:08:39.899 --> 00:08:40.200
Okay.
298
00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:42.980
No, he's an intern. What are you getting paid, Max?
299
00:08:43.399 --> 00:08:45.250
Experience. Oh, so you're not getting any money.
300
00:08:45.259 --> 00:08:45.639
Goose egg.
301
00:08:46.009 --> 00:08:46.190
Right.
302
00:08:46.289 --> 00:08:47.730
We're going to give him a gift when it's over.
303
00:08:48.250 --> 00:08:50.950
So when you come home and your parents are like, Max,
304
00:08:51.169 --> 00:08:52.570
you know what I mean? Clean your room.
305
00:08:52.610 --> 00:08:53.740
They're British, his mom and dad.
306
00:08:53.750 --> 00:08:53.850
Box.
307
00:08:53.870 --> 00:08:56.379
Box. Clang around. Whatever.
308
00:08:56.399 --> 00:08:57.419
That's a really good British accent.
309
00:08:57.440 --> 00:08:57.779
Thank you.
310
00:08:58.100 --> 00:08:58.759
Maximilian.
311
00:08:59.179 --> 00:09:00.120
Yeah, yeah, Maximilian.
312
00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:00.860
That's his real name.
313
00:09:01.379 --> 00:09:04.389
Right? And then you go, oh, it's just working? Yeah,
314
00:09:05.210 --> 00:09:06.809
this is working. How did you get paid?
315
00:09:07.590 --> 00:09:08.070
Nothing.
316
00:09:08.090 --> 00:09:11.509
And they feel good about that? Yeah.
317
00:09:11.809 --> 00:09:12.049
Okay.
318
00:09:12.210 --> 00:09:13.149
This is a job interview for me.
319
00:09:13.669 --> 00:09:14.549
Okay, he's already got the job.
320
00:09:14.570 --> 00:09:15.960
I know, but I just need to go through the interview, though.
321
00:09:15.980 --> 00:09:16.309
You got it.
322
00:09:16.409 --> 00:09:16.740
All right, thanks.
323
00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:17.440
You good with this, Max?
324
00:09:17.519 --> 00:09:18.559
I'm here for it.
325
00:09:18.779 --> 00:09:19.139
You are?
326
00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:21.679
Okay. Let me, if I were to guess.
327
00:09:23.759 --> 00:09:24.860
You've had sex with one person?
328
00:09:25.460 --> 00:09:30.529
Okay. First of all, that's illegal to ask about sex.
329
00:09:30.549 --> 00:09:32.509
You can't ask sex stuff at an interview.
330
00:09:32.549 --> 00:09:34.230
Can I take it back? No, it's over.
331
00:09:34.250 --> 00:09:36.799
He's going to sue us.
332
00:09:36.820 --> 00:09:40.159
We're fucked. Lawyer up. I'm going to go a different direction.
333
00:09:40.360 --> 00:09:40.720
Please.
334
00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:43.460
Do you believe in God? Is that better?
335
00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:45.539
What are you doing?
336
00:09:45.570 --> 00:09:47.909
Oh, you're not supposed to do that? No. All right.
337
00:09:47.950 --> 00:09:49.169
Let me ask you. Did you play sports?
338
00:09:49.289 --> 00:09:51.529
It is illegal to ask a job candidate about their
339
00:09:51.669 --> 00:09:55.490
age or genetic information, birthplace, country of origin, citizenship, disability, gender, sex,
340
00:09:55.509 --> 00:09:58.909
sexual orientation, marital status, family or pregnancy, race, color, ethnicity,
341
00:09:59.009 --> 00:10:00.960
or religion. You're not out all of them.
342
00:10:00.980 --> 00:10:01.220
Oh, I did.
343
00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:01.779
All right.
344
00:10:01.860 --> 00:10:06.179
So now that I know the rules, may I start anew?
345
00:10:06.419 --> 00:10:06.779
Of course.
346
00:10:07.340 --> 00:10:11.059
Okay. You like sports?
347
00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:13.399
Yeah, I watch a lot of soccer.
348
00:10:14.120 --> 00:10:14.519
Do you really?
349
00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:16.830
Yeah. Oh, this is something you guys have in common?
350
00:10:16.889 --> 00:10:17.230
Really?
351
00:10:17.250 --> 00:10:18.389
What club do you support?
352
00:10:18.409 --> 00:10:21.080
Arsenal. Arsenal? No, you don't.
353
00:10:21.240 --> 00:10:21.639
Yes, he does.
354
00:10:21.659 --> 00:10:22.159
Swear on my life.
355
00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:23.860
You swear on your life.
356
00:10:23.940 --> 00:10:25.299
His mother and father are from England.
357
00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:26.980
Let me ask you some questions. I'm going to ask
358
00:10:27.019 --> 00:10:27.940
him some Arsenal questions.
359
00:10:27.960 --> 00:10:28.559
Go on. Yeah.
360
00:10:29.419 --> 00:10:30.259
What's the stadium called?
361
00:10:30.980 --> 00:10:33.340
Emirates, of course. And then before that, it was Highbury.
362
00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:36.620
Top score of all time, Thierry Henry.
363
00:10:37.539 --> 00:10:38.850
Keep going. Keep going to tickle his fancy.
364
00:10:38.899 --> 00:10:41.870
On the Thierry Henry team, name me three other players
365
00:10:41.889 --> 00:10:42.889
that were on that team.
366
00:10:43.129 --> 00:10:44.250
We have Patrick Vieira.
367
00:10:45.009 --> 00:10:48.250
Well it depends Cesc Fabregas he was younger but he
368
00:10:48.269 --> 00:10:52.570
was yeah and then we have Campbell Bergkamp Ian Wright
369
00:10:52.590 --> 00:10:56.110
was before Ray Parler yeah Perez.
370
00:10:55.950 --> 00:10:58.009
Freddie Youngberg yeah did you just fall in love with
371
00:10:58.070 --> 00:10:59.870
Max he's hired he's the fucking man.
372
00:11:00.110 --> 00:11:02.750
Bro you're hired I don't care if you have the
373
00:11:02.769 --> 00:11:04.450
suspect he's.
374
00:11:04.289 --> 00:11:06.529
Not on the spectrum yeah he is I don't care.
375
00:11:06.389 --> 00:11:08.909
That you have albinoisms right I don't care that you're
376
00:11:08.929 --> 00:11:10.730
an incel and you haven't had sex right I don't
377
00:11:10.750 --> 00:11:12.250
care if you believe in God or not whatever we're.
378
00:11:12.169 --> 00:11:13.750
Looking for first of all he believes in God and
379
00:11:13.769 --> 00:11:16.429
he's a fuck machine He is.
380
00:11:16.830 --> 00:11:17.629
He really is a fucking machine?
381
00:11:17.649 --> 00:11:18.590
He's a sex machine, dude.
382
00:11:19.009 --> 00:11:19.850
Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
383
00:11:20.090 --> 00:11:20.700
And he's an Arsenal fan?
384
00:11:20.710 --> 00:11:22.870
Well, he's an Arsenal, but that's why. That's why he fucks.
385
00:11:23.149 --> 00:11:24.509
That's what he says when he gets girls at the bar.
386
00:11:24.549 --> 00:11:25.759
He goes, hey, Arsenal?
387
00:11:25.960 --> 00:11:27.240
Yeah, so let me, can I ask him one last?
388
00:11:27.299 --> 00:11:28.919
And they just, so wet.
389
00:11:29.259 --> 00:11:30.679
Let me ask you something about, do you think we
390
00:11:30.700 --> 00:11:31.960
have a, what do you think it wouldn't place at
391
00:11:31.980 --> 00:11:32.419
the end of the year?
392
00:11:33.860 --> 00:11:35.580
Top, realistically top three.
393
00:11:36.159 --> 00:11:37.879
You think, because you think that we don't have a
394
00:11:37.919 --> 00:11:39.820
bench and you think that in the second half of
395
00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:41.019
the year we're going to falter.
396
00:11:41.350 --> 00:11:44.309
I just think our team's very young and that like,
397
00:11:45.100 --> 00:11:46.480
Fatigue is going to happen eventually.
398
00:11:46.500 --> 00:11:48.779
You're right. I really do agree with you. But I
399
00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:50.480
think we'll take top four this year. No, of course.
400
00:11:50.519 --> 00:11:53.120
Champions League, which is going to bring in new players.
401
00:11:53.580 --> 00:11:55.580
Because a lot of players haven't been coming to Arsenal
402
00:11:55.899 --> 00:11:57.360
because we're not a Champions League contender.
403
00:11:57.379 --> 00:11:58.120
That's exactly right.
404
00:11:58.210 --> 00:11:59.379
And then, therefore, we'll have.
405
00:11:59.750 --> 00:12:00.110
It's not.
406
00:12:00.149 --> 00:12:00.450
It's not.
407
00:12:00.870 --> 00:12:04.070
Nerd alert. Sorry. It's not nerd alert. This is what
408
00:12:04.110 --> 00:12:05.049
the world watches.
409
00:12:05.450 --> 00:12:07.990
By the way, so let's talk relevancy now beyond the
410
00:12:08.029 --> 00:12:10.470
fact that you guys fell in love for Arsenal. say
411
00:12:10.490 --> 00:12:12.529
goodnight to Max goodbye Max Max you're the best in
412
00:12:12.549 --> 00:12:14.960
the world thank you now go back there and do
413
00:12:14.980 --> 00:12:16.480
the thing you do with Carlos behind the scenes that
414
00:12:16.519 --> 00:12:18.759
nobody talks about Max you're the greatest should I just
415
00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:20.480
leave this here yeah give him a high five on
416
00:12:20.500 --> 00:12:22.120
the way out because he loves you so much wow
417
00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:24.799
handshake man God bless Max is the fucking best what
418
00:12:24.820 --> 00:12:26.679
a fucking good one love Max.
419
00:12:26.610 --> 00:12:27.950
Where'd you find this little angel.
420
00:12:28.370 --> 00:12:30.269
Family friend dude he's way better than all these other
421
00:12:30.289 --> 00:12:32.909
guys 100% they don't know nothing about nothing so let's
422
00:12:32.950 --> 00:12:34.629
talk what happened today even though it's gonna come out
423
00:12:34.649 --> 00:12:38.720
in a while what USA we won you better believe
424
00:12:38.750 --> 00:12:40.940
we won Barely. Do you know what happens to Iran?
425
00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:42.679
Ah, they die.
426
00:12:42.860 --> 00:12:43.240
They kill them.
427
00:12:43.580 --> 00:12:44.679
They kill them.
428
00:12:44.700 --> 00:12:45.139
They 100% kill them.
429
00:12:45.179 --> 00:12:47.179
They die. Well, they put the little thing on. What
430
00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:47.779
do the women wear?
431
00:12:48.299 --> 00:12:48.799
What is it called?
432
00:12:49.419 --> 00:12:49.779
A shab?
433
00:12:50.700 --> 00:12:52.620
It's called a shab. It's called a shab?
434
00:12:52.759 --> 00:12:54.080
What do you call it? What's that thing they put
435
00:12:54.100 --> 00:12:55.159
on it? A burqa.
436
00:12:55.220 --> 00:12:55.519
A burqa?
437
00:12:55.539 --> 00:12:59.519
I don't know why I said shab. So the Iranians
438
00:12:59.559 --> 00:13:00.919
go back. They put the burqa on.
439
00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:01.220
Right.
440
00:13:01.379 --> 00:13:03.720
They tear it. And then they make them tear it off.
441
00:13:04.080 --> 00:13:04.960
And then they beat them.
442
00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:05.759
Do they beat them?
443
00:13:06.059 --> 00:13:06.279
Yeah.
444
00:13:06.600 --> 00:13:06.679
Oh.
445
00:13:07.889 --> 00:13:09.370
Look at that though, USA. This is going to come
446
00:13:09.389 --> 00:13:11.210
out a little bit later, but thank God we won today.
447
00:13:11.230 --> 00:13:14.059
1-0. Yeah, but we're going to lose during... The Netherlands
448
00:13:14.100 --> 00:13:16.320
is next. We're going to lose. Sure. Yeah, we're out.
449
00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:20.740
That's okay. Brother, it's not our main gig.
450
00:13:21.100 --> 00:13:21.580
If we.
451
00:13:22.899 --> 00:13:27.860
If Americans pushed our top athletes to play that sport,
452
00:13:28.259 --> 00:13:29.720
we would win every World Cup.
453
00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:30.940
But here's the problem.
454
00:13:31.080 --> 00:13:34.110
Imagine if Michael Jordan, LeBron James, any of those guys
455
00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:35.070
that played basketball and stuff.
456
00:13:35.889 --> 00:13:37.649
Grew up playing fucking soccer.
457
00:13:37.909 --> 00:13:40.990
We would rule. Here's the problem. Here's the initial problem.
458
00:13:41.009 --> 00:13:45.690
What's the problem? Watch your mouth, though. Okay. Merry Christmas.
459
00:13:46.090 --> 00:13:46.649
Merry Christmas?
460
00:13:46.830 --> 00:13:47.029
Yeah.
461
00:13:47.490 --> 00:13:50.289
Okay. And I love you.
462
00:13:50.330 --> 00:13:51.100
Happy Hanukkah. I love you, too.
463
00:13:51.110 --> 00:13:51.330
Go ahead.
464
00:13:51.710 --> 00:13:53.990
The problem is, and you know I like footy. I
465
00:13:54.009 --> 00:13:58.860
think footy's tight. My problem is black guys who are
466
00:13:58.889 --> 00:14:01.549
the greatest athletes here in the United States. Hand over fist.
467
00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:02.740
It's not even a conversation.
468
00:14:02.759 --> 00:14:03.279
Not even a conversation.
469
00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:04.659
It's not cool enough.
470
00:14:05.789 --> 00:14:06.330
That's what I'm saying.
471
00:14:06.370 --> 00:14:07.070
It's just not cool enough.
472
00:14:07.090 --> 00:14:07.850
But in England it is.
473
00:14:08.110 --> 00:14:10.190
I know, but how could you make it cool? Because look,
474
00:14:10.649 --> 00:14:11.190
black guy.
475
00:14:11.450 --> 00:14:14.080
You have to get rid of the NFL and the NBA.
476
00:14:14.129 --> 00:14:15.480
We have to get rid of the two most profitable.
477
00:14:15.500 --> 00:14:16.100
That's impossible.
478
00:14:16.269 --> 00:14:17.980
I know. That's what's never going to happen.
479
00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:18.559
It's never going to happen.
480
00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:20.480
Yeah, but if you got rid of those two organizations.
481
00:14:20.539 --> 00:14:21.070
Yeah, then they'd play you.
482
00:14:21.080 --> 00:14:23.120
And you ban, like if I was the president, I
483
00:14:23.139 --> 00:14:25.759
would ban those two sports. I really would.
484
00:14:26.139 --> 00:14:28.879
Basketball, New York, right? You can only play in New
485
00:14:28.899 --> 00:14:30.500
York in those little fucking cement things.
486
00:14:30.539 --> 00:14:30.899
They would.
487
00:14:31.259 --> 00:14:31.440
Yeah.
488
00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:32.039
What are those called?
489
00:14:32.610 --> 00:14:33.110
Basketball courts.
490
00:14:33.450 --> 00:14:33.629
Right.
491
00:14:35.950 --> 00:14:36.809
But I call them cement things.
492
00:14:36.990 --> 00:14:40.389
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would just be, it'd have to
493
00:14:40.429 --> 00:14:44.190
be cooler. Like, the problem is, basketball dunking is, like,
494
00:14:44.649 --> 00:14:45.730
so fucking cool.
495
00:14:45.990 --> 00:14:48.250
Dude, an overhead kick is so cool.
496
00:14:48.269 --> 00:14:50.519
But it happens so rarely. I don't know. And dunking
497
00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:51.700
happens all the time.
498
00:14:52.299 --> 00:14:55.220
Okay, I bet you money, a scorpion kick is way
499
00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:56.179
better than any dunk.
500
00:14:56.500 --> 00:14:57.039
No, no way.
501
00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:58.110
You know what a scorpion kick is?
502
00:14:58.139 --> 00:14:58.700
Yeah, of course.
503
00:14:59.100 --> 00:14:59.419
What is it?
504
00:14:59.419 --> 00:15:00.899
What do you mean? It's fucking where you go over
505
00:15:00.919 --> 00:15:02.159
your head and you kick it backwards.
506
00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:03.460
That's an overhead kick.
507
00:15:04.059 --> 00:15:05.159
Scorpion. And then you.
508
00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:05.850
Oh, no.
509
00:15:05.889 --> 00:15:08.529
Scorpion. The legs go above the back. Yeah, I saw.
510
00:15:08.549 --> 00:15:09.029
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
511
00:15:09.049 --> 00:15:09.750
What's his name do that?
512
00:15:09.789 --> 00:15:13.110
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's his name? Olivia Juro did it once.
513
00:15:13.750 --> 00:15:13.970
Yeah.
514
00:15:14.210 --> 00:15:15.250
Nickelitarian did it once.
515
00:15:15.570 --> 00:15:17.600
With an M. Who's the M guy? Little tiny Mexican
516
00:15:17.620 --> 00:15:20.000
guy with an M. Maradona? Maradona did it.
517
00:15:20.259 --> 00:15:20.779
Maybe he did it.
518
00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:21.159
No, he did.
519
00:15:21.179 --> 00:15:22.120
There's a video of him doing it.
520
00:15:22.139 --> 00:15:24.120
Yeah, but Olivia Juro did my favorite one.
521
00:15:24.139 --> 00:15:24.820
His Argentina.
522
00:15:24.980 --> 00:15:27.279
The Olivia Juro scorpion kick is the best one I've
523
00:15:27.299 --> 00:15:27.659
ever seen.
524
00:15:27.700 --> 00:15:29.919
But I'm saying here's the point. This happens so rarely.
525
00:15:29.950 --> 00:15:30.019
Yeah.
526
00:15:30.340 --> 00:15:33.580
Dunking happens every night on ESPN. They have the top
527
00:15:33.580 --> 00:15:34.659
10 best fucking.
528
00:15:35.879 --> 00:15:36.960
I equate it to this.
529
00:15:37.419 --> 00:15:37.620
Yeah.
530
00:15:37.700 --> 00:15:39.139
And listen to me, hiri-hiri.
531
00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:40.019
Hiri-hiri, everybody.
532
00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:45.259
Listen up. When you fuck, you've fucked before, right?
533
00:15:45.879 --> 00:15:46.399
Couple times.
534
00:15:46.679 --> 00:15:48.279
I know. You've fucked before?
535
00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:48.620
Yeah.
536
00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:49.000
Right?
537
00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:49.580
She'd be fucking.
538
00:15:49.740 --> 00:15:53.779
Imagine as a guy that you orgasmed 82 times during
539
00:15:53.820 --> 00:15:54.220
a session.
540
00:15:54.220 --> 00:15:56.490
82. But they're like little orgasms.
541
00:15:57.330 --> 00:15:57.389
Or.
542
00:15:58.250 --> 00:16:02.240
You have one orgasm at the end that's a relief.
543
00:16:02.460 --> 00:16:02.899
You know what?
544
00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:03.200
What?
545
00:16:03.340 --> 00:16:03.759
I'll take the 82.
546
00:16:03.740 --> 00:16:04.519
That's what soccer is.
547
00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:05.080
I'll take the 82.
548
00:16:05.059 --> 00:16:06.159
You'll take the 82 little ones.
549
00:16:06.279 --> 00:16:06.580
Of course.
550
00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:07.720
That's basketball.
551
00:16:08.039 --> 00:16:08.659
That's basketball.
552
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:09.000
Yeah, no.
553
00:16:09.259 --> 00:16:13.799
I take the one at the end. No, that's not.
554
00:16:13.399 --> 00:16:16.919
What it's going to end.
555
00:16:17.070 --> 00:16:17.909
Oh my God.
556
00:16:18.110 --> 00:16:20.250
It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing.
557
00:16:20.370 --> 00:16:22.350
It's amazing. It's amazing.
558
00:16:22.590 --> 00:16:23.090
It's amazing.
559
00:16:23.190 --> 00:16:23.809
Now here's soccer.
560
00:16:23.929 --> 00:16:24.149
He's 16.
561
00:16:24.129 --> 00:16:26.529
That's wrong.
562
00:16:26.570 --> 00:16:26.929
That's wrong.
563
00:16:27.029 --> 00:16:27.929
That was it.
564
00:16:30.789 --> 00:16:32.990
The little orgasm is too much. All those little ones
565
00:16:33.049 --> 00:16:36.230
are the big ones, right? So this is what they are, right?
566
00:16:36.250 --> 00:16:36.809
Oh.
567
00:16:37.710 --> 00:16:37.789
Oh.
568
00:16:38.669 --> 00:16:38.740
Oh.
569
00:16:40.220 --> 00:16:40.779
That's what you're doing.
570
00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:41.379
Still feels good.
571
00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:46.100
Feels good, right? But this is fucking... Oh!
572
00:16:47.419 --> 00:16:49.539
Oh! Oh, God!
573
00:16:50.120 --> 00:16:51.340
And then you start shaking.
574
00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:52.059
Right, right?
575
00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:52.960
Well, it sounds like you're hurt.
576
00:16:52.980 --> 00:16:56.200
I was hurt. Yeah, that sounds bad. Maybe it's too much.
577
00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:58.159
Maybe it's too much. Maybe it's too much. But my
578
00:16:58.220 --> 00:16:58.980
point is that.
579
00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:00.059
Footy should be bigger here.
580
00:17:00.620 --> 00:17:01.100
It should be bigger.
581
00:17:01.139 --> 00:17:02.399
It's just not cool enough for the black guys.
582
00:17:02.820 --> 00:17:03.450
I know, but it.
583
00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:06.869
Maybe basketball with feet only?
584
00:17:08.190 --> 00:17:08.589
That's footy.
585
00:17:09.390 --> 00:17:12.779
No, but the goal's up high in a little basket. Oh.
586
00:17:12.880 --> 00:17:14.440
Oh, just make it very hard.
587
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:14.799
Harder.
588
00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:15.160
Yes.
589
00:17:15.259 --> 00:17:17.079
It's hard enough to score in soccer as it is.
590
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:18.059
Make it harder?
591
00:17:18.180 --> 00:17:19.839
Yes. Then it's cool.
592
00:17:20.220 --> 00:17:22.180
I saw a great meme that someone put out that said,
593
00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:25.420
here's how an American wants to fix soccer to make
594
00:17:25.460 --> 00:17:26.200
it more American.
595
00:17:26.220 --> 00:17:26.380
What?
596
00:17:26.819 --> 00:17:28.819
The field is too big. Make it much, much smaller.
597
00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:31.619
Make the goals much smaller. Take out half of the
598
00:17:31.660 --> 00:17:33.599
people on the field and then put it on ice.
599
00:17:34.319 --> 00:17:34.859
Yes.
600
00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:36.720
Right, right, right. Right, right, right.
601
00:17:37.299 --> 00:17:38.579
Then it's a perfect American sport.
602
00:17:38.599 --> 00:17:38.759
Yeah.
603
00:17:38.859 --> 00:17:40.619
Then you can fit more people in the stadium. You
604
00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:42.019
can sell more drinks. It's great.
605
00:17:42.220 --> 00:17:43.700
Anyway, it's never going to happen.
606
00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:45.359
That being said, congratulations, USA.
607
00:17:45.579 --> 00:17:46.299
Yeah, that too.
608
00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:48.759
Congratulations. I want to address something that's been three weeks
609
00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:51.099
in the making now or two weeks in the making now.
610
00:17:51.569 --> 00:17:52.549
Bobby's Twitter was hacked.
611
00:17:53.250 --> 00:17:53.670
It's still there.
612
00:17:53.849 --> 00:17:57.250
Please stop texting or please stop fucking adding us saying,
613
00:17:57.450 --> 00:17:59.730
do you know that this... Yeah, we fucking know it's hacked.
614
00:18:00.089 --> 00:18:00.670
We've known it's hacked.
615
00:18:00.690 --> 00:18:01.700
There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do.
616
00:18:01.769 --> 00:18:05.420
We've tried so many different ways to... he's hacked. Please
617
00:18:05.460 --> 00:18:06.619
don't buy a laptop from him.
618
00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:08.789
Don't buy a laptop. Don't buy a laptop.
619
00:18:08.849 --> 00:18:11.400
Somebody, apparently somebody did buy a laptop from him.
620
00:18:11.410 --> 00:18:14.349
Six people bought a laptop. Oh my God. Stop buying.
621
00:18:14.509 --> 00:18:16.470
Don't even, don't unfollow me yet.
622
00:18:17.509 --> 00:18:18.390
No, because he's going to get it back.
623
00:18:18.430 --> 00:18:19.670
Yeah, I'm going to get it back. Don't unfollow me.
624
00:18:19.670 --> 00:18:21.970
Don't buy these. What the fuck are you guys doing?
625
00:18:22.410 --> 00:18:23.190
Don't buy those.
626
00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:25.660
What really sucks is now you can't do your actual
627
00:18:25.700 --> 00:18:27.000
laptop business. Yeah.
628
00:18:27.099 --> 00:18:31.039
Well, that's true. That's true. I had one and now,
629
00:18:31.579 --> 00:18:32.980
oh my God, don't even get off of that.
630
00:18:33.019 --> 00:18:35.680
It makes me so mad. You know, it's like, I've
631
00:18:35.720 --> 00:18:37.700
never had my identity stolen.
632
00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:37.940
Have you?
633
00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:39.500
That's still not the identity.
634
00:18:39.579 --> 00:18:39.880
I know, but.
635
00:18:41.660 --> 00:18:44.480
This is such a big difference between that. You've never
636
00:18:44.500 --> 00:18:46.630
had your Twitter hacked. You've never had your social media hacked.
637
00:18:46.710 --> 00:18:49.990
First of all, you know, I would really like you
638
00:18:50.269 --> 00:18:52.730
for this new year coming up to let me finish
639
00:18:52.789 --> 00:18:56.670
my sentence before you make a joke and you shame me.
640
00:18:57.170 --> 00:18:58.650
Oh, so don't do the show good.
641
00:18:59.339 --> 00:19:01.019
No, do it good. Keep doing what you're doing.
642
00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:01.339
Okay.
643
00:19:01.559 --> 00:19:02.039
I like it good.
644
00:19:02.339 --> 00:19:03.059
You're right. I'll not change it.
645
00:19:03.059 --> 00:19:04.400
But I'm saying I didn't finish what I was saying.
646
00:19:04.420 --> 00:19:05.000
I apologize.
647
00:19:05.299 --> 00:19:08.019
I go, I've never had my identity hacked, right?
648
00:19:08.660 --> 00:19:12.660
But having your Twitter hacked, it feels vaguely– you can
649
00:19:12.700 --> 00:19:15.140
kind of assume what it might feel like if you
650
00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:15.859
quadrupled that feeling.
651
00:19:18.259 --> 00:19:19.680
You know what?
652
00:19:19.700 --> 00:19:20.799
You should have interrupted me.
653
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:23.200
You should have fucking interrupted me because you're right. I
654
00:19:23.220 --> 00:19:23.859
had no idea what I.
655
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:24.420
Was talking about.
656
00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:24.680
I knew.
657
00:19:24.759 --> 00:19:25.599
I knew.
658
00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:27.299
I always know when you don't know what you're going
659
00:19:27.319 --> 00:19:27.450
to say.
660
00:19:27.460 --> 00:19:28.319
You had the instinct to do it.
661
00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:28.420
Right?
662
00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:30.099
So I didn't know what to say. And then when
663
00:19:30.140 --> 00:19:32.160
I kept going, I was like, oh my God, I'm
664
00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:33.180
going into a desert.
665
00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:35.480
Bobby's like the guy that he throws a brick through
666
00:19:35.500 --> 00:19:37.819
a plate glass window to like rob a place.
667
00:19:37.859 --> 00:19:38.059
Yeah.
668
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:39.700
But then it's like the alarm's going off and then
669
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:41.859
he doesn't, he has no idea what to do to rob.
670
00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:44.640
Well, no, I throw a brick in the second window
671
00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:46.779
and I realize, oh, I didn't bring a ladder.
672
00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:47.799
How do I get up there?
673
00:19:47.819 --> 00:19:49.220
Yeah, how do I get up there, right? So I
674
00:19:49.240 --> 00:19:51.259
made a mistake. There's a couple of steps that I made.
675
00:19:51.299 --> 00:19:52.369
Two-story bank I'm going to rob.
676
00:19:52.380 --> 00:19:55.720
Right, but there is something violating about.
677
00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:56.500
Being hacked.
678
00:19:56.519 --> 00:19:58.289
Being hacked in any way because it's like.
679
00:19:58.640 --> 00:19:59.450
How do you get it back?
680
00:20:00.059 --> 00:20:01.039
We've tried.
681
00:20:01.079 --> 00:20:01.920
I write, I write, I write.
682
00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:04.920
We wrote to Twitter. We wrote to fucking the verified account.
683
00:20:05.940 --> 00:20:06.779
You know, Elon.
684
00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:07.319
Elon.
685
00:20:07.559 --> 00:20:11.480
Dear Elon Musk, please help Bob.
686
00:20:11.910 --> 00:20:14.309
But you know, that's been freeing because Twitter's one of
687
00:20:14.329 --> 00:20:16.849
those things I go on every single day. It sucks.
688
00:20:16.869 --> 00:20:18.329
Twitter fucking sucks. Have you been hacked before?
689
00:20:18.349 --> 00:20:22.779
Mm-mm. But I am getting messages for him. Actually, I
690
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:24.880
was kind of hacked. When I was a kid, I
691
00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:27.349
was like in sixth grade, I had AIM. And my
692
00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:33.410
AOL screen name was Fun Size Cowgirl. Because I was
693
00:20:33.450 --> 00:20:37.890
very small. And all the candy bars that were miniature
694
00:20:37.950 --> 00:20:41.349
called Fun Size. So at school, they called me Fun Size.
695
00:20:41.430 --> 00:20:45.329
But Toy Story 2 came out, Jessie the Cowgirl. So
696
00:20:45.390 --> 00:20:47.170
Fun Size Cowgirl, great screen name.
697
00:20:47.849 --> 00:20:49.180
Anyway, somebody hacked it.
698
00:20:49.190 --> 00:20:53.019
Because that's what I Google in Pornhub.
699
00:20:53.099 --> 00:20:54.619
And it might have been you then who took it
700
00:20:54.819 --> 00:20:57.700
because somebody took my name and started sending out porn
701
00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:00.599
with it and I got bombarded with messages. One day
702
00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:02.539
I logged into the computer all excited to talk to
703
00:21:02.579 --> 00:21:04.900
my friends and all these pop-ups were coming up and
704
00:21:04.920 --> 00:21:06.940
they were like, that's disgusting what you sent me. I
705
00:21:08.059 --> 00:21:10.809
don't want to ever see that again. Or like, can
706
00:21:10.829 --> 00:21:11.809
send me more, please.
707
00:21:11.930 --> 00:21:14.319
That was great. As a kid, what do you do
708
00:21:14.339 --> 00:21:14.890
in that situation?
709
00:21:14.930 --> 00:21:17.779
I just started crying and I was like shocked. And
710
00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:19.140
then my mom stepped in and like.
711
00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:20.619
Took care of it. Yeah. Yeah.
712
00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:21.200
And then I was like.
713
00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:21.599
Sucks.
714
00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:25.880
Jesse J 3120. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boo.
715
00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:27.980
Boo, boo. Yeah, it's like.
716
00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:29.900
Please don't buy a laptop from Bobby. I'm going to
717
00:21:29.940 --> 00:21:32.720
say it again because people have been sending me fucking
718
00:21:32.759 --> 00:21:36.509
constant ads. And also, if you are getting suckered by this, A,
719
00:21:36.569 --> 00:21:38.109
I'm sorry. But also.
720
00:21:39.250 --> 00:21:39.579
Come on.
721
00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:40.230
What?
722
00:21:41.180 --> 00:21:42.859
Well, how fucking stupid are you?
723
00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:44.740
Yeah, I know. You're right.
724
00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:46.559
It's like, what are you doing? You really think Bobby's
725
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:47.880
selling my fucking laptop?
726
00:21:47.900 --> 00:21:49.460
I don't even promote my things.
727
00:21:49.779 --> 00:21:52.079
Yeah. He doesn't promote this show.
728
00:21:52.099 --> 00:21:53.700
I don't promote this show. Why would I sell you
729
00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:54.720
a fucking laptop?
730
00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:56.980
It's the same people that get duped into fucking like
731
00:21:57.039 --> 00:22:00.210
a Nigerian prince sending them millions of dollars and all
732
00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:02.069
that stuff. It's like, you feel bad, but you're like,
733
00:22:02.250 --> 00:22:04.470
but do I? That's nuts that they got you.
734
00:22:04.890 --> 00:22:08.130
Yeah, on emails you get, hey, Bobby, it's Susan. How
735
00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:08.529
are you?
736
00:22:08.549 --> 00:22:09.190
I don't know.
737
00:22:09.329 --> 00:22:10.130
Who the fuck is Susan?
738
00:22:10.170 --> 00:22:11.130
Susan, who are you?
739
00:22:11.309 --> 00:22:13.539
I kind of want to go, I'm fine, Susan.
740
00:22:13.579 --> 00:22:14.000
How are you?
741
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:16.759
And just see what happens after that.
742
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:17.160
Yeah.
743
00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:19.200
That's how they hack your Twitter account.
744
00:22:20.059 --> 00:22:21.339
Yeah, when you start conversing with them.
745
00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:25.430
Oh, it's all making sense now. Oh, you're saying that
746
00:22:25.450 --> 00:22:28.069
I started conversing with some guy. With Susan. And that's
747
00:22:28.109 --> 00:22:29.089
how they, I didn't.
748
00:22:29.650 --> 00:22:30.930
Sounds like you're saying that.
749
00:22:30.950 --> 00:22:32.549
No, I didn't say that. No, that's not what I'm saying.
750
00:22:32.609 --> 00:22:34.430
I don't know. That's what I'm saying, and you know what, dude?
751
00:22:35.390 --> 00:22:37.690
Be careful, because Max is around the corner, and he
752
00:22:37.710 --> 00:22:40.390
might take your job. I might promote Max.
753
00:22:40.569 --> 00:22:40.859
Do it.
754
00:22:41.349 --> 00:22:41.809
You wouldn't mind?
755
00:22:41.829 --> 00:22:42.869
How could I mind?
756
00:22:42.890 --> 00:22:43.609
I love a kid. So if I got rid of,
757
00:22:43.869 --> 00:22:45.470
Andre has a big part, look at it, he has
758
00:22:45.509 --> 00:22:46.029
a photo of it.
759
00:22:46.029 --> 00:22:47.539
No, no, he's a huge part of the show.
760
00:22:47.619 --> 00:22:48.619
Yeah.
761
00:22:48.670 --> 00:22:49.299
Fire Pete.
762
00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:50.140
Oh, Pete.
763
00:22:50.180 --> 00:22:50.900
Pete's never even here.
764
00:22:50.920 --> 00:22:54.440
He's not even here, right. I'm thinking about it. Watch it.
765
00:22:54.519 --> 00:22:56.480
Watch it. Your friend fucking Pete's gonna get fired.
766
00:22:56.599 --> 00:22:57.339
Watch it for Pete.
767
00:22:57.819 --> 00:22:57.940
Yeah.
768
00:22:57.980 --> 00:22:59.000
You watch it for Pete.
769
00:22:59.740 --> 00:23:02.809
So what's going on with you? What is this?
770
00:23:03.490 --> 00:23:06.369
You know what, talk about your Susan.
771
00:23:07.230 --> 00:23:08.250
ShipStation.
772
00:23:08.470 --> 00:23:11.750
Oh, guys, we're an online business. We send t-shirts and
773
00:23:11.769 --> 00:23:14.750
stuff and merch all over the country and around the world,
774
00:23:15.069 --> 00:23:17.390
and ShipStation helps us. The most wonderful time of the
775
00:23:17.410 --> 00:23:19.660
year is also the most hectic time of the year.
776
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:22.799
Everyone puts off shopping until the last minute. And if
777
00:23:22.839 --> 00:23:25.140
you have an online store, you know the feeling of
778
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:26.900
getting hit with a ton of odors at once.
779
00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:29.839
It's so annoying, you guys. And we've used them for
780
00:23:29.900 --> 00:23:31.500
so long now because we believe in them and we
781
00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:33.319
love them. And ShipStation, they work with all your favorite
782
00:23:33.339 --> 00:23:35.650
places to sell online, Amazon, Etsy, eBay, Shopify, and so
783
00:23:35.670 --> 00:23:39.269
many more. And with enterprise solutions that make warehouse optimization easy,
784
00:23:39.329 --> 00:23:42.950
ShipStation scales up when your business scales up. Over 130,000
785
00:23:42.950 --> 00:23:45.759
companies have grown their e-commerce business with ShipStation, and 98%
786
00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:47.799
of those companies stick with ShipStation for a year. They
787
00:23:47.819 --> 00:23:50.440
become customers for life. You can manage every order from
788
00:23:50.500 --> 00:23:53.259
one simple dashboard. You can automate routine shipping tasks. You
789
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799
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You guys, during the pandemic and even now, I use
800
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801
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very important. You have to be able to– we carry
802
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around all this baggage, guys. And how do you release
803
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804
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talked about it a lot on this show that Bob
809
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and I are both big proponents of therapy. If you
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811
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816
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817
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823
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830
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That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash bad friends. We can't
831
00:25:38.690 --> 00:25:39.150
go personal?
832
00:25:39.789 --> 00:25:40.130
We can.
833
00:25:41.329 --> 00:25:41.849
Is everything good?
834
00:25:42.349 --> 00:25:43.349
Yeah, things are good.
835
00:25:43.950 --> 00:25:46.910
Alright, good. I don't think we can. Let's move on.
836
00:25:46.970 --> 00:25:48.690
Yeah.
837
00:25:48.730 --> 00:25:50.170
Alright, hold on. It's uncomfortable.
838
00:25:50.549 --> 00:25:51.049
Well, I will.
839
00:25:51.309 --> 00:25:54.960
Okay, I'll just say I told Bobby a secret and I...
840
00:25:55.680 --> 00:25:58.130
I told you I'm not, you know, I confided in
841
00:25:58.170 --> 00:25:59.309
you at lunch.
842
00:26:00.150 --> 00:26:00.630
Trusted you.
843
00:26:00.910 --> 00:26:01.529
I trusted you.
844
00:26:01.789 --> 00:26:03.750
And wanted you to keep it a big secret.
845
00:26:03.910 --> 00:26:04.569
As a mentor.
846
00:26:04.589 --> 00:26:05.430
And what did you do?
847
00:26:06.009 --> 00:26:06.910
I kept it a secret.
848
00:26:06.930 --> 00:26:08.759
No, you did not.
849
00:26:08.859 --> 00:26:09.819
I kept it a secret.
850
00:26:09.859 --> 00:26:11.680
Attention, everybody everywhere.
851
00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:12.440
I didn't do that.
852
00:26:12.460 --> 00:26:14.670
Listen up to what Juicy just told me.
853
00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:15.940
I didn't do that. And that's ridiculous.
854
00:26:16.039 --> 00:26:19.119
It was so cool. Before it happened, it was cool.
855
00:26:19.180 --> 00:26:22.329
I was at the comedy store by the office. I
856
00:26:22.369 --> 00:26:24.089
was about to host a show in the main room.
857
00:26:24.130 --> 00:26:27.170
And I was with Pauly Shore. Then Rick Ingram came up, he's.
858
00:26:27.009 --> 00:26:28.789
Like here for a second.
859
00:26:29.029 --> 00:26:31.509
For a second he's here on tour with Chris Rock,
860
00:26:31.690 --> 00:26:35.069
and we both opened for Pauly. And then Bobby comes up,
861
00:26:35.089 --> 00:26:38.289
so I'm like, holy shit, all of Pauly's openers are here.
862
00:26:39.569 --> 00:26:42.450
And then Bobby looks right at Pauly and just blurts
863
00:26:42.529 --> 00:26:48.720
out this secret. And it kind of felt like you
864
00:26:48.759 --> 00:26:51.119
wanted to see if he knew. Like a... Can I.
865
00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:57.829
Defend myself real quick? yes may i defend.
866
00:26:57.690 --> 00:26:59.450
Myself she can say you can say no yeah yeah
867
00:26:59.750 --> 00:27:00.210
okay well.
868
00:27:00.130 --> 00:27:02.690
I'm gonna do it anyway right yeah she says no
869
00:27:02.750 --> 00:27:04.490
she knows that yeah i get that right yeah so
870
00:27:04.670 --> 00:27:07.369
number one i thought it was so when somebody says
871
00:27:07.410 --> 00:27:09.869
a secret i think that i always think that the
872
00:27:09.930 --> 00:27:13.789
people in this inner circle already know the secret right
873
00:27:14.069 --> 00:27:16.640
so it's just like you know i mean um.
874
00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:19.519
Did you say don't tell anybody I said I've told
875
00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:22.180
very few people, and you're one of them. Then I'm
876
00:27:22.259 --> 00:27:23.099
on Bobby's side now.
877
00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:25.160
I can't remember if I said don't tell anybody, but
878
00:27:25.380 --> 00:27:26.049
I felt like it was.
879
00:27:26.089 --> 00:27:27.569
I think that's what she said. I'm on your side.
880
00:27:27.589 --> 00:27:27.980
Thank you so much.
881
00:27:28.049 --> 00:27:29.430
I felt like it was very obvious.
882
00:27:29.529 --> 00:27:30.329
I needed to know.
883
00:27:30.369 --> 00:27:32.509
Because when you say, I've only told a few people,
884
00:27:32.789 --> 00:27:35.049
that means you've told 50. No, I really hadn't.
885
00:27:35.170 --> 00:27:37.309
But it's also a small... Let me just defend myself, right?
886
00:27:37.789 --> 00:27:40.470
It's your old boss, a guy that his family owns
887
00:27:40.509 --> 00:27:43.190
the club, right? A guy that's hired you to open
888
00:27:43.230 --> 00:27:45.430
for him, right? You tell him a lot of things,
889
00:27:45.450 --> 00:27:47.599
because he tells me the things you tell him, right?
890
00:27:47.619 --> 00:27:47.700
Yeah.
891
00:27:48.599 --> 00:27:50.480
He tells me the things you tell him, right? So
892
00:27:50.519 --> 00:27:53.559
I just assumed that that was okay in that environment.
893
00:27:53.740 --> 00:27:55.000
Number two, right?
894
00:27:56.319 --> 00:27:56.980
Who was I with?
895
00:27:58.619 --> 00:28:00.859
Oh, this is the only reason you brought this up?
896
00:28:02.140 --> 00:28:05.980
Because Bobby was with the Smoke Show 10. Now I'm
897
00:28:06.019 --> 00:28:06.299
getting it.
898
00:28:06.299 --> 00:28:14.900
Right, so I'm with the Smoke Show 10. I'm smoking, man.
899
00:28:15.140 --> 00:28:19.000
I got the smoke show. And I'm, you know, cause
900
00:28:19.019 --> 00:28:21.500
she's like, I want to meet Polly. I don't know why.
901
00:28:21.519 --> 00:28:23.720
You know what I mean? There's other people around. You
902
00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:26.140
know what I mean? So I go, yeah, I bring them. Right.
903
00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:29.400
There was this, this awkward like thing where it's like,
904
00:28:29.569 --> 00:28:30.809
I didn't know what to say.
905
00:28:31.549 --> 00:28:31.910
Right.
906
00:28:32.049 --> 00:28:33.089
And I'm with smoke show.
907
00:28:33.289 --> 00:28:33.569
Right.
908
00:28:33.970 --> 00:28:35.910
So I just, I look at her and I go,
909
00:28:35.930 --> 00:28:37.049
just the thing that came to my mind. I was like,
910
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:39.559
How's that thing going? Whatever, that thing.
911
00:28:39.579 --> 00:28:40.400
You brought out her secret.
912
00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:40.980
Yes.
913
00:28:41.349 --> 00:28:44.329
Hey, hot girl, listen to this other girl's secret.
914
00:28:44.369 --> 00:28:44.569
No.
915
00:28:44.589 --> 00:28:45.190
Good move.
916
00:28:45.490 --> 00:28:49.089
I think first he said, this is Jessie, she's my sidekick,
917
00:28:49.750 --> 00:28:51.130
and then he blurted out the secret.
918
00:28:51.250 --> 00:28:54.269
Oh, I said sidekick? Nice. Are you not my sidekick, though?
919
00:28:54.809 --> 00:28:55.170
I am.
920
00:28:55.210 --> 00:28:57.190
Well, then... First of.
921
00:28:57.210 --> 00:28:58.839
All, she's our sidekick.
922
00:28:59.319 --> 00:29:01.039
I know, but you weren't there.
923
00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:02.940
I know, but just say, this is our sidekick, and
924
00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:03.660
they'll go, who's our sidekick?
925
00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:04.359
Or I apologize.
926
00:29:04.380 --> 00:29:04.920
You're my boy.
927
00:29:05.640 --> 00:29:08.789
I apologize, and... I won't take it personal if you
928
00:29:08.809 --> 00:29:10.589
don't tell me secrets anymore. But.
929
00:29:11.130 --> 00:29:11.670
But how about this?
930
00:29:11.849 --> 00:29:12.569
Be more specific.
931
00:29:12.650 --> 00:29:15.750
Tell me the secrets and I won't tell anybody. I
932
00:29:15.829 --> 00:29:17.990
will tell Bobby, but I won't tell anybody after that.
933
00:29:18.009 --> 00:29:20.430
And then hopefully he won't tell anybody.
934
00:29:21.210 --> 00:29:25.140
I got my first taste of a bad friend from you.
935
00:29:26.579 --> 00:29:29.160
Oh, that's your first bad friend to actual bad friend.
936
00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:30.160
Oh, good.
937
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:30.740
I like that.
938
00:29:30.759 --> 00:29:33.460
Because before you're like this magical genie in my life
939
00:29:33.529 --> 00:29:35.630
and you're just granting all my wishes.
940
00:29:36.089 --> 00:29:37.769
Now you see through all the bullshit. Welcome to reality.
941
00:29:37.789 --> 00:29:39.210
Yeah, now I'm starting to see it.
942
00:29:39.210 --> 00:29:42.720
See what? No, what are you seeing? Shut the fuck up.
943
00:29:42.740 --> 00:29:43.279
What are you seeing?
944
00:29:43.319 --> 00:29:45.119
I'm starting to see some of your flaws that I
945
00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:48.099
never saw before.
946
00:29:48.740 --> 00:29:50.140
Whoa, this is wild. Yeah, I'll be honest.
947
00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:52.119
And I will say I still love you very much,
948
00:29:52.980 --> 00:29:58.500
despite your flaws. Okay. And maybe because of your flaws.
949
00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:00.450
All right. I'm a flawed man.
950
00:30:00.529 --> 00:30:02.569
Let me tell you what Bobby did to me. Thanksgiving Day.
951
00:30:03.650 --> 00:30:05.670
Thanksgiving Day. No, this wasn't a big deal.
952
00:30:06.049 --> 00:30:06.369
Thank you.
953
00:30:06.490 --> 00:30:08.829
But it made me laugh. I never post on Instagram.
954
00:30:09.029 --> 00:30:12.609
Every fucking month I put up a photo. Maybe. And
955
00:30:12.630 --> 00:30:14.710
I delete them because I hate them. Because I fucking
956
00:30:14.730 --> 00:30:18.039
hate that app. I put up a photo genuinely of
957
00:30:18.099 --> 00:30:21.500
pictures that I, genuinely, I wrote thankful. That's all I wrote.
958
00:30:21.619 --> 00:30:22.240
I saw that post.
959
00:30:22.279 --> 00:30:25.480
He was number one. There was a picture of Chris O'Connor,
960
00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:27.259
one of my best friends in comedy. I just put
961
00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:29.359
up a bunch of photos of fun stuff. Because I
962
00:30:29.420 --> 00:30:31.000
never post. I thought this would be okay to do.
963
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:36.299
Within seconds, he texts me, take that fucking photo down, bro.
964
00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:39.299
Not even like, hey, what's up? Love you. He goes,
965
00:30:39.519 --> 00:30:42.940
take that fucking photo. And I go, seriously? And he goes, yeah, dude,
966
00:30:43.079 --> 00:30:45.180
I look like shit in that photo. First of all, no,
967
00:30:45.220 --> 00:30:47.359
he doesn't. He's sitting down naked. He looks cute as fuck.
968
00:30:47.640 --> 00:30:49.200
It was on the couch in San Diego. You guys
969
00:30:49.220 --> 00:30:52.829
remember that photo. And I love that photo. And it
970
00:30:52.910 --> 00:30:55.119
broke my fucking heart. So I sat on the couch
971
00:30:55.170 --> 00:30:59.039
by the fire, sad, and I deleted it. And it
972
00:30:59.140 --> 00:31:01.640
really bummed me out. And I was like, you really
973
00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:02.759
want me to take it down? And you're like, do
974
00:31:02.779 --> 00:31:06.559
whatever you want, bro. Which means, yeah, take it down.
975
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:10.029
Can I ask you something? When you read a script, right?
976
00:31:11.089 --> 00:31:14.250
He's reading a script with no stage direction. And not
977
00:31:14.289 --> 00:31:15.390
knowing what the character is saying.
978
00:31:15.529 --> 00:31:15.799
Read it.
979
00:31:16.049 --> 00:31:17.109
So when you're reading it, right?
980
00:31:17.150 --> 00:31:18.910
Well, read your lines. Read your lines the way that
981
00:31:18.930 --> 00:31:19.289
you said it.
982
00:31:19.390 --> 00:31:20.019
So give me the lines?
983
00:31:20.769 --> 00:31:21.970
I'll fucking bring it up.
984
00:31:21.990 --> 00:31:22.730
Give me the lines, dude.
985
00:31:23.390 --> 00:31:23.930
I'll bring it up.
986
00:31:24.029 --> 00:31:26.470
Right. I mean, this is ridiculous. I just feel like
987
00:31:26.509 --> 00:31:27.079
I'm on trial.
988
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:31.480
Happy Thanksgiving. Take that photo down. I look like shit.
989
00:31:31.500 --> 00:31:35.299
All right, right. I got it. Happy Thanksgiving.
990
00:31:36.339 --> 00:31:36.619
No.
991
00:31:36.779 --> 00:31:38.119
That's what I would... Okay, okay.
992
00:31:38.140 --> 00:31:38.480
Go ahead.
993
00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:40.980
Because when I fucking text, I say it out loud.
994
00:31:41.079 --> 00:31:41.619
Okay, go ahead.
995
00:31:41.640 --> 00:31:45.589
All right. Take that photo down. I look like shit.
996
00:31:46.589 --> 00:31:48.990
And I wrote, I love you more than I've ever
997
00:31:49.049 --> 00:31:52.849
loved anyone in my entire life. And you wrote, you too.
998
00:31:53.009 --> 00:31:53.930
Take that photo down.
999
00:31:53.970 --> 00:31:54.619
You too.
1000
00:31:54.730 --> 00:31:55.440
Take that photo down.
1001
00:31:55.460 --> 00:31:56.740
Take that photo down, please.
1002
00:31:57.519 --> 00:31:58.190
I'm fat in it.
1003
00:31:58.319 --> 00:31:58.900
I'm fat.
1004
00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:02.460
Love you. Take it down. Take it down now. I
1005
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:04.880
look fat in it. And I wrote, you're not fat.
1006
00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:08.299
It's an old picture. And I love you. You're my
1007
00:32:08.359 --> 00:32:13.109
best friend. Take it down. Don't rage me out on Thanksgiving.
1008
00:32:13.650 --> 00:32:17.230
Don't rage me out on Thanksgiving. That's the photo.
1009
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:19.119
That's the photo? That wasn't the photo.
1010
00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:20.079
No, no.
1011
00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:23.839
If that had the fucking, my mermaid form, if I
1012
00:32:23.859 --> 00:32:26.220
was in mermaid form, you should have kept it in.
1013
00:32:26.289 --> 00:32:26.940
It was so cute.
1014
00:32:27.029 --> 00:32:29.470
Yeah, yeah. You inspire people with this picture. Thank you.
1015
00:32:29.490 --> 00:32:30.690
That's how much people love the photo.
1016
00:32:30.750 --> 00:32:31.430
I love mermaid form.
1017
00:32:31.750 --> 00:32:34.549
And then I said, you said, don't rage me out
1018
00:32:34.609 --> 00:32:36.259
on Thanksgiving, which immediately pissed me off.
1019
00:32:36.390 --> 00:32:36.829
All right.
1020
00:32:37.809 --> 00:32:39.299
Piss me the fuck off when he does that, when
1021
00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:41.319
he threatens me. And I said, who cares? It's fun.
1022
00:32:41.339 --> 00:32:43.440
And he goes, you do whatever you want.
1023
00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:45.160
I love what Carlos is doing right now.
1024
00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:45.690
I do too.
1025
00:32:45.869 --> 00:32:49.869
Because Carlos is going, yeah, Andrew, get him because He
1026
00:32:49.930 --> 00:32:51.069
treats me like that too.
1027
00:32:51.150 --> 00:32:52.099
Is that what that smile is?
1028
00:32:52.109 --> 00:32:54.289
Why am I kind of gay in your impression too?
1029
00:32:54.349 --> 00:32:56.130
Yeah. And let me say something to you.
1030
00:32:56.289 --> 00:32:58.089
It's just a smile out of, oh, this is like
1031
00:32:58.109 --> 00:32:58.890
a funny moment.
1032
00:32:58.970 --> 00:33:01.539
That's all it is. No, no, no. That's what Andreas
1033
00:33:01.579 --> 00:33:02.799
is doing. That's not what Carlos is doing.
1034
00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:03.299
What is he doing?
1035
00:33:03.319 --> 00:33:05.460
Carlos is doing, yeah, get him.
1036
00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:06.039
Oh, right.
1037
00:33:06.200 --> 00:33:07.960
Yeah. That's what you're doing.
1038
00:33:08.059 --> 00:33:09.940
Well, I saw the post after all this and I
1039
00:33:09.960 --> 00:33:12.680
thought it was strange there wasn't a picture of you
1040
00:33:12.700 --> 00:33:15.660
with Bobby, but I did see the bad friends marquee.
1041
00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:18.259
But now I know that that was by your choice.
1042
00:33:19.009 --> 00:33:20.490
That you didn't want to be in the post.
1043
00:33:21.829 --> 00:33:22.950
Okay, I'm sorry. That's okay.
1044
00:33:23.210 --> 00:33:23.880
I also think.
1045
00:33:24.059 --> 00:33:24.940
Oh, God. What?
1046
00:33:25.160 --> 00:33:25.980
That you're beautiful.
1047
00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:28.339
And if you're looking for a woman that she should
1048
00:33:28.440 --> 00:33:33.700
accept you. You want like an airbrush Photoshop version of
1049
00:33:33.740 --> 00:33:34.619
yourself online.
1050
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:36.890
Okay.
1051
00:33:37.269 --> 00:33:38.349
You deserve someone.
1052
00:33:38.190 --> 00:33:42.150
Who really loves you. I like what you're doing. Okay.
1053
00:33:42.450 --> 00:33:45.109
So, I'm going to put the picture back up.
1054
00:33:45.109 --> 00:33:46.309
No, you're not putting the picture back up.
1055
00:33:46.309 --> 00:33:47.339
I think that's the answer.
1056
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:47.819
That's not the answer.
1057
00:33:48.309 --> 00:33:49.210
That's the only way to mend this.
1058
00:33:49.289 --> 00:33:49.490
Yeah.
1059
00:33:50.009 --> 00:33:50.849
To make up for that.
1060
00:33:50.970 --> 00:33:51.809
You're no longer my sidekick.
1061
00:33:51.910 --> 00:33:52.630
I get the post-its.
1062
00:33:52.670 --> 00:33:55.690
You're no longer my sidekick, okay? You're an acquaintance right now,
1063
00:33:55.769 --> 00:33:57.839
all right? You watch it. Now let me say something.
1064
00:33:58.119 --> 00:33:59.359
Hey, it goes both ways.
1065
00:33:59.380 --> 00:33:59.960
It goes both ways.
1066
00:34:00.519 --> 00:34:03.160
So I want to say that I'm self-conscious about the
1067
00:34:03.180 --> 00:34:06.619
way I look because I'm getting old, right? And these
1068
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:09.179
issues never came up when I was in a relationship.
1069
00:34:09.860 --> 00:34:11.940
And now I think I'm going through a midlife crisis
1070
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:14.210
or whatever because I just, all these new feelings.
1071
00:34:15.269 --> 00:34:16.750
I was just pulling up your age to make sure
1072
00:34:16.769 --> 00:34:17.570
that you see new.
1073
00:34:19.269 --> 00:34:19.730
I know.
1074
00:34:20.110 --> 00:34:20.730
See what he's doing?
1075
00:34:21.449 --> 00:34:22.369
It's funny.
1076
00:34:22.570 --> 00:34:22.969
It's funny.
1077
00:34:23.349 --> 00:34:23.570
Yeah.
1078
00:34:23.969 --> 00:34:28.329
That's it. I know Carlos is on that last row.
1079
00:34:28.489 --> 00:34:29.230
It wasn't a trap.
1080
00:34:29.349 --> 00:34:29.820
I promise.
1081
00:34:30.510 --> 00:34:31.239
No, but it was funny.
1082
00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:31.920
Thank you.
1083
00:34:32.460 --> 00:34:35.019
What did I send you guys? Didn't I send you
1084
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:35.780
two things this week?
1085
00:34:36.780 --> 00:34:37.739
Oh, London Gangsters?
1086
00:34:37.980 --> 00:34:41.099
Oh, this was great. Listen to these two fucking guys
1087
00:34:41.139 --> 00:34:42.980
talk to each other, man. This is amazing.
1088
00:34:43.179 --> 00:34:43.400
All right.
1089
00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:46.800
Max could probably make out what this is. His parents
1090
00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:50.960
are British. And by the way, his name's Bobby, which
1091
00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:53.199
I loved. But I thought of you the whole fucking time.
1092
00:34:53.219 --> 00:34:58.219
Are these friends or are they arguing?
1093
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:02.000
They're two gangsters. They're meeting like, they're ex-criminals.
1094
00:35:02.159 --> 00:35:02.380
Yeah.
1095
00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:05.300
And now they're sharing their stories of crime together. It's
1096
00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:06.389
like a documentary piece.
1097
00:35:06.510 --> 00:35:06.719
Yeah.
1098
00:35:06.889 --> 00:35:08.159
See if you can make out what half of these
1099
00:35:08.199 --> 00:35:08.789
guys are saying.
1100
00:35:08.809 --> 00:35:09.210
Probably not.
1101
00:35:09.690 --> 00:35:11.090
Let's see. Here we go.
1102
00:35:11.090 --> 00:35:14.650
I've taken an assistant governor hostage in a maximum security.
1103
00:35:14.949 --> 00:35:16.909
So everywhere I go, I've got loads of prison officers
1104
00:35:16.929 --> 00:35:18.630
around because they think I'm going to take another one.
1105
00:35:18.650 --> 00:35:19.130
What does that mean?
1106
00:35:19.409 --> 00:35:24.099
That means only 10 officers in riot gear with a governor,
1107
00:35:24.159 --> 00:35:25.300
an S.O., and a P.O.
1108
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:26.440
Can open your door.
1109
00:35:27.440 --> 00:35:29.980
Governor, S.O., and a P.O. And they make fun of
1110
00:35:30.019 --> 00:35:31.300
us all the time. They make fun of us all
1111
00:35:31.320 --> 00:35:31.599
the time.
1112
00:35:31.860 --> 00:35:36.139
But those are like their version of hillbillies, right?
1113
00:35:36.679 --> 00:35:37.610
No, these are criminal.
1114
00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:39.469
I know, but I'm just sort of in terms of language, though.
1115
00:35:39.550 --> 00:35:43.489
No, I would say this is their version of like
1116
00:35:43.570 --> 00:35:45.530
hardcore New York gangsters.
1117
00:35:46.610 --> 00:35:48.369
Yeah, but New York gangsters are pretty clear.
1118
00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:49.840
That's my point.
1119
00:35:50.440 --> 00:35:50.619
Okay.
1120
00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:51.559
We're better than them.
1121
00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:52.480
We're better than them. Okay.
1122
00:35:53.659 --> 00:35:54.989
And the guy on the left, as you can see,
1123
00:35:55.010 --> 00:35:57.570
has been shot in the fucking face.
1124
00:35:57.929 --> 00:35:58.269
Which one?
1125
00:35:59.329 --> 00:36:01.389
Are you serious?
1126
00:36:01.409 --> 00:36:07.590
No, which one is it? How do you know? They
1127
00:36:07.610 --> 00:36:08.849
say that they... Just look.
1128
00:36:09.710 --> 00:36:10.489
Oh my God.
1129
00:36:10.710 --> 00:36:10.849
One.
1130
00:36:11.190 --> 00:36:11.650
Take a guess.
1131
00:36:11.670 --> 00:36:11.739
Two.
1132
00:36:12.929 --> 00:36:13.389
Take a guess.
1133
00:36:14.110 --> 00:36:15.389
The white guy?
1134
00:36:15.429 --> 00:36:19.619
Show him again. Zoom in a little bit more. What
1135
00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:20.179
do you think, Bob?
1136
00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:29.280
Okay, next one. I don't know. Okay, good call.
1137
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:32.820
These guys are hardcore gangsters, though. This is Marvin Herbert
1138
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:37.880
and Bobby Cummins, who are, like, true gangsters. Like, fucking
1139
00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:40.280
killed people. And they talk about it on this documentary.
1140
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:43.440
Okay, so let me just ask you something. If you
1141
00:36:43.460 --> 00:36:45.320
were a gangster, which style would you be? Would you
1142
00:36:45.340 --> 00:36:46.000
be left or right?
1143
00:36:47.050 --> 00:36:48.829
I think by default, I'd be on the left because
1144
00:36:48.849 --> 00:36:50.309
that's the kind of clothing I like to wear. I
1145
00:36:50.329 --> 00:36:50.949
don't like suits.
1146
00:36:50.969 --> 00:36:51.730
Yeah, me too.
1147
00:36:51.750 --> 00:36:53.550
That would be you and I, but Juicy would be
1148
00:36:53.630 --> 00:36:55.190
on the right for sure.
1149
00:36:55.210 --> 00:36:55.869
Yeah, you're right.
1150
00:36:55.909 --> 00:36:58.889
You're a suit gangster. We could never do this. What
1151
00:36:58.909 --> 00:37:00.469
would you do if you went to fucking prison?
1152
00:37:00.739 --> 00:37:03.840
I think you're wrong. I think you're absolutely wrong.
1153
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:06.019
You could be a gangster?
1154
00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:11.090
Dude, you and I grew up in middle class. So?
1155
00:37:11.409 --> 00:37:13.800
We went to schools, public schools. You know, I had
1156
00:37:13.880 --> 00:37:16.539
country clothes, tennis lessons. I didn't have country clothes.
1157
00:37:16.579 --> 00:37:16.880
I did.
1158
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:17.119
I did.
1159
00:37:17.380 --> 00:37:19.980
Country clothes, tennis lessons, ice skating, all that stuff, right?
1160
00:37:20.059 --> 00:37:20.280
No.
1161
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:21.070
Yeah, I did.
1162
00:37:21.079 --> 00:37:21.739
I had none of that.
1163
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:23.360
I know. Can I just tell you me then?
1164
00:37:23.619 --> 00:37:24.150
Yeah, don't say me.
1165
00:37:24.179 --> 00:37:27.429
Sorry, sorry. So I had tennis gloves, wrestling. I did
1166
00:37:27.469 --> 00:37:29.769
on the team. Yeah. My parents got me a car
1167
00:37:29.789 --> 00:37:32.190
at 16. You know what I mean? And we had
1168
00:37:32.210 --> 00:37:33.449
a pool, a tennis court.
1169
00:37:33.630 --> 00:37:34.409
Yeah, I didn't have any of that.
1170
00:37:34.469 --> 00:37:37.809
I know, I did. And I grew up, and this
1171
00:37:37.829 --> 00:37:40.119
is what, I turned out like this. But- If I
1172
00:37:40.139 --> 00:37:41.000
grew up in like.
1173
00:37:41.219 --> 00:37:42.079
You've said this before.
1174
00:37:42.099 --> 00:37:42.159
No.
1175
00:37:42.159 --> 00:37:46.780
This is wrong. It doesn't matter who young. If you
1176
00:37:46.820 --> 00:37:47.619
grew up somewhere else.
1177
00:37:48.340 --> 00:37:52.590
You know what my dad was? My father was... Korean.
1178
00:37:54.550 --> 00:37:55.210
My father.
1179
00:37:55.230 --> 00:37:57.829
This is the truth. You want to see her truth?
1180
00:37:58.650 --> 00:38:02.110
My dad was a professional boxer in Korea.
1181
00:38:02.130 --> 00:38:06.429
Did you know that? His record was 0-8. He never
1182
00:38:06.469 --> 00:38:06.909
won anything.
1183
00:38:07.570 --> 00:38:07.730
What?
1184
00:38:09.190 --> 00:38:09.610
He really did.
1185
00:38:09.750 --> 00:38:10.409
I know, I could tell.
1186
00:38:10.409 --> 00:38:11.889
0 and 8, never won anything, right?
1187
00:38:12.349 --> 00:38:14.949
And he never went to school because during the Korean War,
1188
00:38:15.449 --> 00:38:17.889
he was a gangster in the streets, right?
1189
00:38:17.909 --> 00:38:18.929
And he led his own gang.
1190
00:38:19.670 --> 00:38:21.849
So my dad had like stab wounds on his body,
1191
00:38:21.869 --> 00:38:23.789
all kinds of fucked up shit. That's why he was
1192
00:38:23.809 --> 00:38:24.369
so violent.
1193
00:38:24.789 --> 00:38:26.340
Because everybody fucked him up all the time?
1194
00:38:26.360 --> 00:38:27.519
Yeah, he was so small.
1195
00:38:27.940 --> 00:38:29.480
But if you talk to like the guys that he
1196
00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:31.179
grew up with and stuff, they would always say, no,
1197
00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:33.920
he was like, he would jump on your back and
1198
00:38:33.940 --> 00:38:35.000
start biting your neck and stuff.
1199
00:38:35.019 --> 00:38:37.260
But he would always lose. It sounds like he would lose.
1200
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:40.119
No, in the professional boxing arena, yeah, but in the streets,
1201
00:38:40.639 --> 00:38:41.619
he did knives and shit.
1202
00:38:41.739 --> 00:38:43.809
But you told me he had stab wounds all over.
1203
00:38:44.449 --> 00:38:45.550
Yeah, he lived through it.
1204
00:38:45.570 --> 00:38:47.969
My point is that he was a thief, too.
1205
00:38:47.989 --> 00:38:50.869
They used him like a knife block. But he was
1206
00:38:51.510 --> 00:38:52.670
practicing on your dad.
1207
00:38:52.710 --> 00:38:54.010
But my dad was like a thief. He was like
1208
00:38:54.050 --> 00:38:54.989
a bad guy, right?
1209
00:38:55.190 --> 00:38:56.789
What'd he steal?
1210
00:38:57.150 --> 00:39:02.599
Well, I know gum. LAUGHTER I know you told me
1211
00:39:02.619 --> 00:39:06.159
he stole gum. He's a bad guy.
1212
00:39:06.179 --> 00:39:07.599
Fuck, lock that guy up.
1213
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:10.739
He stole a bag of gum. A bag of gum?
1214
00:39:11.699 --> 00:39:13.719
Korea is so fucking weird.
1215
00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:16.590
So he stole a bag of gum. What's so funny?
1216
00:39:17.010 --> 00:39:18.190
A bag of gum?
1217
00:39:18.210 --> 00:39:19.809
Yeah, back then during the Korean War, that was worth
1218
00:39:19.849 --> 00:39:20.110
a lot.
1219
00:39:20.130 --> 00:39:21.130
They just put it in a bag?
1220
00:39:21.150 --> 00:39:22.230
That's like Korean diamonds.
1221
00:39:23.429 --> 00:39:25.289
There's gum.
1222
00:39:25.909 --> 00:39:28.150
And then he changed his ways, you know what I mean?
1223
00:39:28.170 --> 00:39:30.199
And when he came to America, became a businessman, my
1224
00:39:30.260 --> 00:39:33.159
point though is he's a hard worker but if I
1225
00:39:33.199 --> 00:39:34.920
grew up in the same environment like my brother and
1226
00:39:34.940 --> 00:39:37.690
I we were street kids who knows what would happen
1227
00:39:38.309 --> 00:39:40.989
I could be in prison same with you look no
1228
00:39:41.329 --> 00:39:43.769
oh yeah dude your rage and your anger as it
1229
00:39:43.889 --> 00:39:46.380
is now see that twitch Those are.
1230
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:48.440
Rage switches, man. So what I'm saying, yeah.
1231
00:39:48.579 --> 00:39:49.510
I think I heard it.
1232
00:39:49.550 --> 00:39:50.300
Yeah, you heard the twitch.
1233
00:39:50.780 --> 00:39:52.210
So what I'm saying is if you grew up in
1234
00:39:52.250 --> 00:39:55.130
a fucking bad environment, right, you would be in a
1235
00:39:55.170 --> 00:39:56.030
different place right now.
1236
00:39:56.090 --> 00:39:57.869
My dad was in prison, which is the reason I'm
1237
00:39:57.949 --> 00:39:58.670
not in prison.
1238
00:39:59.010 --> 00:40:00.369
I know, but that's in your blood.
1239
00:40:01.590 --> 00:40:02.469
Prison blood.
1240
00:40:02.510 --> 00:40:03.889
Prison blood. Your prison blood, dude.
1241
00:40:04.670 --> 00:40:06.170
My dad going to prison was the reason I didn't
1242
00:40:06.329 --> 00:40:07.809
want to go to prison.
1243
00:40:08.670 --> 00:40:10.860
I know. I understand that. But you had your mom
1244
00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:13.260
and your stepdad. You know what I mean? You had
1245
00:40:13.300 --> 00:40:14.840
to look forward.
1246
00:40:14.860 --> 00:40:14.929
No.
1247
00:40:15.500 --> 00:40:16.820
To have guidance from.
1248
00:40:17.380 --> 00:40:19.860
I know, but all I, but yeah, but I'm saying.
1249
00:40:20.139 --> 00:40:21.949
And if you didn't have them and your dad went
1250
00:40:21.969 --> 00:40:23.889
to prison, you were in the streets, you would end
1251
00:40:23.949 --> 00:40:25.670
up just like him. Maybe.
1252
00:40:26.889 --> 00:40:28.050
That's, maybe?
1253
00:40:28.070 --> 00:40:28.690
Yeah.
1254
00:40:28.730 --> 00:40:31.750
Maybe. So basically if I didn't have my mom and
1255
00:40:31.789 --> 00:40:32.329
my stepdad.
1256
00:40:32.510 --> 00:40:34.550
Yeah, we were blessed because we had guidance in a
1257
00:40:34.590 --> 00:40:36.940
weird way. I had AA early on in my life.
1258
00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:39.400
Like I would go to AA meetings and these old
1259
00:40:39.559 --> 00:40:41.960
AA guys tell me like how to live life.
1260
00:40:41.739 --> 00:40:43.840
And the rules and all that stuff.
1261
00:40:43.880 --> 00:40:44.500
What are the rules?
1262
00:40:44.949 --> 00:40:46.690
Which is to live in the moment, you know what
1263
00:40:46.710 --> 00:40:47.010
I mean?
1264
00:40:47.030 --> 00:40:48.050
Do you think you live in the moment?
1265
00:40:48.250 --> 00:40:48.510
I do.
1266
00:40:49.150 --> 00:40:50.090
Do you live in the moment, Juice?
1267
00:40:50.610 --> 00:40:51.769
I try to. I think I do.
1268
00:40:52.050 --> 00:40:52.250
Yeah.
1269
00:40:53.449 --> 00:40:53.690
You don't?
1270
00:40:54.010 --> 00:40:54.150
No.
1271
00:40:55.170 --> 00:40:55.889
Well, you live in the past?
1272
00:40:56.070 --> 00:40:57.489
Wait, let me take that again. Can we go back?
1273
00:40:57.750 --> 00:40:57.909
Yeah.
1274
00:40:58.469 --> 00:40:59.429
Do you live in the moment, Juicy?
1275
00:40:59.670 --> 00:41:01.829
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
1276
00:41:02.449 --> 00:41:02.710
You don't?
1277
00:41:02.730 --> 00:41:04.010
I don't.
1278
00:41:04.030 --> 00:41:04.789
Yeah, you do.
1279
00:41:05.050 --> 00:41:05.329
I don't.
1280
00:41:05.590 --> 00:41:06.230
You live in the future?
1281
00:41:08.030 --> 00:41:08.730
I live in this.
1282
00:41:08.750 --> 00:41:10.070
In your mind, I mean.
1283
00:41:10.369 --> 00:41:12.510
I think I... No, I have a tough time living
1284
00:41:12.530 --> 00:41:14.150
in the moment. I'm admitting it. I'm not good at it.
1285
00:41:14.929 --> 00:41:16.699
I'm not good at it, but I try to practice it.
1286
00:41:17.090 --> 00:41:20.219
I don't. I'm being honest. I wish I was better
1287
00:41:20.320 --> 00:41:22.900
at enjoying the thing while it's happening.
1288
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:24.880
It's kind of double-edged, though, because I feel like I'm
1289
00:41:24.940 --> 00:41:28.280
so in the moment that sometimes I forget about other things.
1290
00:41:28.440 --> 00:41:30.050
But what else would you need to know?
1291
00:41:30.610 --> 00:41:33.090
I don't stay in touch with people as well because
1292
00:41:33.150 --> 00:41:35.630
I'm just where I'm at. Right now, I'm here and
1293
00:41:35.650 --> 00:41:35.829
only here.
1294
00:41:35.849 --> 00:41:37.789
But let me tell you something. I can tell you something.
1295
00:41:38.190 --> 00:41:39.769
I had this discussion with someone a couple days ago.
1296
00:41:41.590 --> 00:41:44.719
As you get older... In general, it's so much harder
1297
00:41:44.739 --> 00:41:46.679
to stay in touch with people. It just is a
1298
00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:52.289
part of life. You kind of just lose touch because
1299
00:41:52.690 --> 00:41:54.269
everyone's got their own thing going on.
1300
00:41:54.929 --> 00:41:55.090
Yeah.
1301
00:41:55.389 --> 00:41:57.789
So it's only going to continue that way. I don't
1302
00:41:57.809 --> 00:41:59.489
think it's you. I think it's time. Yeah.
1303
00:41:59.829 --> 00:42:00.150
It's unfortunate.
1304
00:42:00.170 --> 00:42:01.670
It's always like that. But it stinks.
1305
00:42:01.730 --> 00:42:01.969
It sucks.
1306
00:42:01.989 --> 00:42:02.449
I hate it.
1307
00:42:02.849 --> 00:42:04.329
Because you just lose touch.
1308
00:42:04.889 --> 00:42:05.650
You know that old saying.
1309
00:42:05.690 --> 00:42:07.469
I was going to text somebody that we know in
1310
00:42:07.489 --> 00:42:11.230
this room, that we three know. It was their birthday.
1311
00:42:11.250 --> 00:42:11.329
Okay.
1312
00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:14.380
And I opened up my phone and I saw it
1313
00:42:14.400 --> 00:42:16.500
was their birthday on my calendar. And I looked at
1314
00:42:16.539 --> 00:42:18.739
our text message and the last time I texted the
1315
00:42:18.780 --> 00:42:20.000
person was on their birthday.
1316
00:42:20.019 --> 00:42:21.820
So you couldn't do it.
1317
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:27.369
And they didn't respond when I had said happy birthday.
1318
00:42:27.510 --> 00:42:29.650
Well, that's because they probably get a thousand of them.
1319
00:42:29.769 --> 00:42:30.570
No, this person wouldn't.
1320
00:42:31.030 --> 00:42:31.530
Oh, I see.
1321
00:42:32.190 --> 00:42:36.489
And because of that, I just deleted it.
1322
00:42:37.750 --> 00:42:38.070
Wow.
1323
00:42:39.559 --> 00:42:39.840
Really?
1324
00:42:39.860 --> 00:42:41.280
So you got angry about it?
1325
00:42:41.320 --> 00:42:43.780
No, I didn't want to feel that feeling again. Right.
1326
00:42:43.900 --> 00:42:46.500
Of like seeing another year. So I didn't text happy
1327
00:42:46.519 --> 00:42:49.500
birthday and I deleted that original text as if to say,
1328
00:42:50.500 --> 00:42:51.159
that's the end of that.
1329
00:42:52.239 --> 00:42:52.699
Damn.
1330
00:42:52.719 --> 00:42:55.239
Well, I didn't delete them from my phone. I just,
1331
00:42:55.449 --> 00:42:56.360
I thought, well.
1332
00:42:56.909 --> 00:42:58.190
Deleted them from your life.
1333
00:42:59.030 --> 00:43:02.789
Yeah, kind of. HelloFresh.
1334
00:43:02.909 --> 00:43:06.030
I love making things from HelloFresh because I feel like
1335
00:43:06.050 --> 00:43:08.750
a chef doing it. And I know that the outcome is,
1336
00:43:09.219 --> 00:43:10.340
What I'm going to eat is going to be a
1337
00:43:10.420 --> 00:43:15.440
delicious meal. Subscribe to HelloFresh and check save money off
1338
00:43:15.460 --> 00:43:20.389
your fallout to-do list. HelloFresh is 25% cheaper than takeout
1339
00:43:20.650 --> 00:43:22.550
and less expensive than grocery shopping too.
1340
00:43:22.750 --> 00:43:24.190
It's time to cozy up and save money by cooking
1341
00:43:24.210 --> 00:43:25.809
at home. Fall is the perfect time to experience the
1342
00:43:25.849 --> 00:43:28.809
delicious taste and unparalleled convenience of HelloFresh. Look, if you're
1343
00:43:28.849 --> 00:43:31.360
like Bob and I, we're very busy people. I assume
1344
00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:33.119
all you guys are too at home because you've got
1345
00:43:33.159 --> 00:43:36.059
holiday stuff going on and work and balance and family.
1346
00:43:36.639 --> 00:43:38.920
and it's so much easier to get something like HelloFresh
1347
00:43:38.940 --> 00:43:41.679
delivered to your door, fresh ingredients, and you can cook
1348
00:43:41.800 --> 00:43:44.429
quickly in the comfort of your own home. They got
1349
00:43:44.469 --> 00:43:47.889
these easy meals that I love. They're 20-minute recipes, low prep,
1350
00:43:47.989 --> 00:43:49.590
easy cleanup. You're going to spend less time in the
1351
00:43:49.610 --> 00:43:51.789
kitchen and more time with your family and your friends.
1352
00:43:51.849 --> 00:43:55.190
HelloFresh is now offering vegan recipes on the menu every week,
1353
00:43:55.469 --> 00:44:00.079
made without animal products of any kind, like dairy, meat, eggs,
1354
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or honey. Enjoy meals like sweet chili tofu bowls, Or
1355
00:44:04.050 --> 00:44:06.349
spicy coconut curry stir fry.
1356
00:44:06.409 --> 00:44:09.110
Now, that sounds really good. I like switching it up sometimes, too,
1357
00:44:09.170 --> 00:44:10.610
with my meals. And I got to tell you, they
1358
00:44:10.630 --> 00:44:13.170
give you so many options. It's so convenient. It's so wonderful.
1359
00:44:13.469 --> 00:44:16.409
If you're willing to try it out, cut down your
1360
00:44:16.469 --> 00:44:20.320
time out of the house, go to HelloFresh.com slash BadFriend65
1361
00:44:20.860 --> 00:44:24.820
and use the code BadFriend65 for 65% off plus free shipping.
1362
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:30.099
Go to HelloFresh.com slash BadFriend65. And use code BADFRIEND65 for
1363
00:44:30.099 --> 00:44:32.280
65% off plus free shipping.
1364
00:44:32.579 --> 00:44:35.340
HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit.
1365
00:44:35.659 --> 00:44:36.559
Viator.
1366
00:44:36.659 --> 00:44:38.820
I'll tell you this, and I know you did this, right?
1367
00:44:39.639 --> 00:44:42.800
When I go anywhere, I go to Viator because you
1368
00:44:42.840 --> 00:44:43.110
want to.
1369
00:44:44.090 --> 00:44:45.570
Sometimes you're at a place you don't know where to go.
1370
00:44:45.809 --> 00:44:47.389
Yeah, you don't know what experiences you want to have
1371
00:44:47.409 --> 00:44:49.150
when you're outside of your country or your home.
1372
00:44:49.210 --> 00:44:52.530
Yeah, and I want adventures. Or sometimes a tour. Yeah.
1373
00:44:52.769 --> 00:44:53.710
And Viator has it all.
1374
00:44:53.809 --> 00:44:55.190
They do. You know what they are? They're the world's
1375
00:44:55.230 --> 00:44:57.780
leading travel experience marketplace. They offer everything from simple tours
1376
00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:00.260
to extreme adventures and all the niche interesting stuff in between.
1377
00:45:00.280 --> 00:45:02.300
I got to tell you, I booked my trip. When
1378
00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:03.940
I'm going to Iceland, I'm going to be swimming in
1379
00:45:03.960 --> 00:45:07.500
the Continental Rift thanks to Viator. Pretty incredible. You can
1380
00:45:07.539 --> 00:45:09.699
do something extreme or you can do something very cool
1381
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:13.619
and light. Everything from wine tasting to going on these
1382
00:45:13.699 --> 00:45:17.920
art tours, architecture tours, to jumping out of... jumping out
1383
00:45:17.960 --> 00:45:20.139
of airplanes. They have extreme tours as well. They have
1384
00:45:20.219 --> 00:45:22.210
all sorts of fun stuff. That's why we love it.
1385
00:45:22.360 --> 00:45:23.019
It's unique.
1386
00:45:23.059 --> 00:45:26.510
They have 300,000 bookable experiences to choose from in over
1387
00:45:26.510 --> 00:45:28.389
190 countries.
1388
00:45:28.530 --> 00:45:30.769
Viator is the world's leading travel experience marketplace. That's why
1389
00:45:30.809 --> 00:45:32.650
we love it. And they offer everything. Simple stuff to
1390
00:45:32.670 --> 00:45:34.590
extreme adventures. You have to try it out. If you're
1391
00:45:35.010 --> 00:45:38.239
getting out of your home and traveling, try Viator now.
1392
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:41.699
Download the Viator app now and use the code Viator10
1393
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:44.719
for 10% off your first booking. One app, over 300,000 experiences.
1394
00:45:44.739 --> 00:45:48.719
You'll remember. Do more with Viator. A friend of mine
1395
00:45:48.780 --> 00:45:52.179
told me he got a roll. And they asked him.
1396
00:45:52.420 --> 00:45:52.960
At a bakery?
1397
00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:57.719
A French roll. Yeah, an onion roll. And they asked
1398
00:45:57.739 --> 00:46:00.329
him to do it in a different accent. And then
1399
00:46:00.349 --> 00:46:03.210
he did it in the accent. And then I guess
1400
00:46:03.230 --> 00:46:06.409
they were like, just do your regular accent. And he
1401
00:46:06.429 --> 00:46:08.809
was like, oh, did I do it bad? I'm like, no.
1402
00:46:09.269 --> 00:46:12.690
They probably just thought we can't have him doing an
1403
00:46:12.769 --> 00:46:14.949
accent of another person because we would have to cast
1404
00:46:14.969 --> 00:46:16.889
the other person and they'd get shit for it. Because
1405
00:46:16.909 --> 00:46:19.119
I think these days... people are getting shit for being like,
1406
00:46:19.159 --> 00:46:20.559
why would you just cast that kind of person?
1407
00:46:21.719 --> 00:46:21.980
Yeah.
1408
00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:24.360
It's fucked up. That's a weird, that's a weird time
1409
00:46:24.389 --> 00:46:25.199
because it's acting.
1410
00:46:25.429 --> 00:46:25.679
Yeah.
1411
00:46:25.760 --> 00:46:26.550
It's acting.
1412
00:46:26.610 --> 00:46:29.369
You're faking it. That's, that's, it's like you're, you have
1413
00:46:29.389 --> 00:46:29.750
to act.
1414
00:46:29.949 --> 00:46:30.989
It's like, it's acting.
1415
00:46:31.050 --> 00:46:32.989
It's like what? Are you only allowed to play Korean guys?
1416
00:46:33.150 --> 00:46:34.110
Can you play Chinese?
1417
00:46:34.190 --> 00:46:35.030
No, like when I, when.
1418
00:46:35.349 --> 00:46:36.389
Can you play Chinese?
1419
00:46:36.489 --> 00:46:38.230
I can. Do it for me.
1420
00:46:38.730 --> 00:46:39.210
You're hired.
1421
00:46:39.469 --> 00:46:40.090
Wow. Yeah.
1422
00:46:40.730 --> 00:46:41.989
And the Oscar goes to.
1423
00:46:42.070 --> 00:46:43.309
Bobby Lee. That's a clippy joke.
1424
00:46:43.329 --> 00:46:43.889
Right? Yeah.
1425
00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:48.820
Because they're protesting right now because of COVID, right?
1426
00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:49.420
Who?
1427
00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:49.719
What?
1428
00:46:49.960 --> 00:46:53.679
Yeah, the Chinese are protesting against Apple employees in China.
1429
00:46:54.900 --> 00:46:56.519
Apple employees are protesting.
1430
00:46:56.539 --> 00:46:58.119
They're protesting COVID.
1431
00:46:58.239 --> 00:46:59.469
They're protesting COVID. They started it.
1432
00:46:59.469 --> 00:47:02.030
What do you mean? I don't have COVID restrictions in Apple.
1433
00:47:02.409 --> 00:47:04.550
There's still like a lot of COVID restrictions there.
1434
00:47:04.989 --> 00:47:07.289
Show the video. There's a video of robots going through
1435
00:47:07.309 --> 00:47:10.269
a town in China, spraying stuff into the air. Have
1436
00:47:10.309 --> 00:47:10.869
you seen this?
1437
00:47:11.530 --> 00:47:11.909
I like it.
1438
00:47:11.949 --> 00:47:12.070
No.
1439
00:47:13.079 --> 00:47:16.940
Do drone do drone spraying disinfectant yeah there's a fucking
1440
00:47:16.980 --> 00:47:21.400
video of these drones in the air spraying disinfectant or
1441
00:47:21.440 --> 00:47:32.019
something for covid there right there look those are drones
1442
00:47:32.360 --> 00:47:39.019
in china spraying shit for covid protection wow You tell
1443
00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:42.239
me this ain't the greatest country in the world. Dude,
1444
00:47:42.260 --> 00:47:44.599
how creepy. That's fucking creepy as shit.
1445
00:47:44.679 --> 00:47:44.960
Yeah.
1446
00:47:45.119 --> 00:47:45.800
What's in that?
1447
00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:47.900
COVID vaccine.
1448
00:47:48.380 --> 00:47:49.940
What if we find out it's just MSG?
1449
00:47:52.119 --> 00:47:54.320
What about those little robots in LA? What are they?
1450
00:47:54.519 --> 00:47:56.199
They're delivering food.
1451
00:47:56.239 --> 00:47:57.780
No one ever told me about it. So I'm driving
1452
00:47:57.820 --> 00:47:59.380
on the road and I see it for the first time.
1453
00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:00.260
I almost crashed my car.
1454
00:48:00.320 --> 00:48:01.840
That's so funny that you're like, no one ever told me.
1455
00:48:01.889 --> 00:48:05.510
Like we needed to come to you. Boston Dynamics calls Bobby.
1456
00:48:05.530 --> 00:48:06.869
Well, just call me and go, we have those.
1457
00:48:07.400 --> 00:48:08.519
I see them all over the place now.
1458
00:48:08.539 --> 00:48:09.909
Yeah, but what's in it?
1459
00:48:10.019 --> 00:48:11.300
They're Amazon delivery packages.
1460
00:48:11.320 --> 00:48:11.420
Pizza.
1461
00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:12.179
They do like.
1462
00:48:12.460 --> 00:48:12.929
Pizza.
1463
00:48:13.090 --> 00:48:14.050
That's pizza.
1464
00:48:14.090 --> 00:48:14.269
What?
1465
00:48:14.409 --> 00:48:16.429
They're all for pizza.
1466
00:48:17.449 --> 00:48:19.110
So they deliver Amazon packaging.
1467
00:48:19.429 --> 00:48:20.590
They deliver all sorts of shit.
1468
00:48:20.610 --> 00:48:22.150
And how do you know what happens? Does it knock
1469
00:48:22.190 --> 00:48:22.849
on the door?
1470
00:48:23.250 --> 00:48:27.429
It beep-a-bop-boops. And look at that guy. He got fat cells.
1471
00:48:27.809 --> 00:48:30.500
So on his phone it goes, it's here. He goes downstairs.
1472
00:48:30.760 --> 00:48:32.000
It opens up with a code.
1473
00:48:32.019 --> 00:48:33.860
Yeah, it opens up with a code. And it literally goes,
1474
00:48:35.260 --> 00:48:36.320
it speaks a language to you.
1475
00:48:36.929 --> 00:48:37.190
No.
1476
00:48:37.309 --> 00:48:38.380
Yeah, I've learned some of it.
1477
00:48:39.030 --> 00:48:39.449
Give me some.
1478
00:48:40.849 --> 00:48:42.070
That means thank you.
1479
00:48:42.130 --> 00:48:42.650
It's Chinese?
1480
00:48:43.309 --> 00:48:44.809
Well, who do you think fucking makes you sing? Oh, yeah,
1481
00:48:44.829 --> 00:48:45.170
that's right.
1482
00:48:45.190 --> 00:48:45.510
That's right.
1483
00:48:46.429 --> 00:48:48.199
Oh, by the way, some of them have COVID in them. Like,
1484
00:48:48.300 --> 00:48:52.840
it's random. It's kind of like, you know, like this guy. Like,
1485
00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:57.059
he just got COVID for sure. Yeah. That means thank you.
1486
00:48:57.360 --> 00:48:57.619
And then.
1487
00:48:59.210 --> 00:49:01.949
Is look at that fat ass. Sometimes they're rude. Sometimes
1488
00:49:01.969 --> 00:49:02.599
they'll see women.
1489
00:49:02.639 --> 00:49:03.039
Oh, they do?
1490
00:49:03.139 --> 00:49:04.460
They'll say disgusting things to women.
1491
00:49:04.539 --> 00:49:06.300
Well, they're made after our image.
1492
00:49:06.619 --> 00:49:07.500
That's exactly right.
1493
00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:08.360
You're going to get sunk.
1494
00:49:08.380 --> 00:49:10.000
Can you stick your penis in one of those little holes?
1495
00:49:10.420 --> 00:49:12.719
That's originally what the top thing was for.
1496
00:49:12.780 --> 00:49:13.110
Oh, is it?
1497
00:49:13.389 --> 00:49:13.650
Yeah.
1498
00:49:13.789 --> 00:49:14.730
Those two circles?
1499
00:49:14.769 --> 00:49:16.610
Those two circles, yeah. Me and you could do it together.
1500
00:49:16.730 --> 00:49:18.030
And the year from now, you're in court, and that
1501
00:49:18.050 --> 00:49:19.650
thing's like, you know, man. Yeah, but you won't make
1502
00:49:19.670 --> 00:49:19.969
me make it.
1503
00:49:21.030 --> 00:49:21.989
This thing gets unaccused.
1504
00:49:22.050 --> 00:49:25.610
It's unaccused. It's unaccused.
1505
00:49:27.250 --> 00:49:28.710
And the award goes to.
1506
00:49:28.730 --> 00:49:32.909
Beep-bop, beep-bop. Rude, rude, rude.
1507
00:49:33.210 --> 00:49:33.699
Yeah. Shh.
1508
00:49:34.309 --> 00:49:36.309
Oh my god that's amazing.
1509
00:49:35.929 --> 00:49:38.389
They're so fucking stupid what cities have is it only
1510
00:49:38.409 --> 00:49:40.070
in LA, New York or is it take a guess
1511
00:49:40.190 --> 00:49:43.369
it's all the annoying cities LA, New York Chicago, San
1512
00:49:43.389 --> 00:49:46.940
Francisco yeah it's all like the fucking pretentious right this
1513
00:49:46.980 --> 00:49:51.119
wouldn't last a fucking hour in like Boise, Idaho fuck
1514
00:49:51.179 --> 00:49:53.980
no no they'd push it over they'd shoot at it
1515
00:49:54.079 --> 00:49:56.679
for sure they'd shoot a gun at it you see
1516
00:49:56.800 --> 00:49:58.420
that you shoot that you see a little robot this
1517
00:49:58.480 --> 00:50:02.429
morning fucking kill that thing they wouldn't let it go
1518
00:50:02.590 --> 00:50:06.139
right Postmates. Yeah, it does all sorts of bullshit. They're
1519
00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:07.780
all over the place now, though. I've seen a ton
1520
00:50:07.800 --> 00:50:08.019
of them.
1521
00:50:08.260 --> 00:50:08.940
I see them, too.
1522
00:50:09.500 --> 00:50:12.519
I'll tell you what trips me out, though, is they're
1523
00:50:12.539 --> 00:50:15.300
going to start trying to do... Amazon is pushing to
1524
00:50:15.320 --> 00:50:20.659
do fully electric truck automated trucks.
1525
00:50:21.400 --> 00:50:22.639
Oh, they would love that.
1526
00:50:22.980 --> 00:50:23.920
So no fucking.
1527
00:50:23.940 --> 00:50:25.139
So they won't have to pay anybody.
1528
00:50:25.260 --> 00:50:26.639
No human. No human.
1529
00:50:26.900 --> 00:50:28.079
That's going to be a nightmare.
1530
00:50:28.280 --> 00:50:29.900
I don't know how they're going to fucking do that.
1531
00:50:30.159 --> 00:50:31.340
How is it going to get from the truck to
1532
00:50:31.360 --> 00:50:34.230
your door? Did they have one of those things come out?
1533
00:50:34.610 --> 00:50:36.809
So the comes out of the truck.
1534
00:50:36.969 --> 00:50:37.309
Wow.
1535
00:50:37.829 --> 00:50:41.369
The job sucks, though. I have a friend who has
1536
00:50:41.389 --> 00:50:44.239
been driving with them for years, and they don't get
1537
00:50:44.300 --> 00:50:47.460
bathroom breaks. A lot of the dudes will just go
1538
00:50:47.599 --> 00:50:48.500
pee in the truck.
1539
00:50:48.960 --> 00:50:49.599
Wait, seriously?
1540
00:50:49.800 --> 00:50:50.159
Yeah.
1541
00:50:50.300 --> 00:50:50.619
Oh, yeah.
1542
00:50:50.900 --> 00:50:53.889
Because where do you park that thing? And they record
1543
00:50:54.090 --> 00:50:54.829
all of your routes.
1544
00:50:55.530 --> 00:50:58.070
So they're like, they've got like air tags all over you.
1545
00:50:58.309 --> 00:51:00.579
There's cameras in the car. Like you can't just like
1546
00:51:00.659 --> 00:51:01.639
stop at a circle.
1547
00:51:01.659 --> 00:51:03.019
What do you mean? You can't piss.
1548
00:51:04.179 --> 00:51:05.679
But if I wanted to go to Taco Bell, I
1549
00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:06.719
can't go to Taco Bell.
1550
00:51:07.239 --> 00:51:08.940
They would probably write you up because you got to
1551
00:51:08.980 --> 00:51:12.079
go to UPS, buddy. You have a specific route and
1552
00:51:12.099 --> 00:51:14.090
you have to get your deliveries done by a certain time.
1553
00:51:14.449 --> 00:51:16.579
And if you look at your phone, they'll like ding you.
1554
00:51:16.670 --> 00:51:17.349
Is the pay good?
1555
00:51:17.369 --> 00:51:19.050
I think it's average.
1556
00:51:19.070 --> 00:51:20.949
I think the pay is pretty good. Okay.
1557
00:51:20.969 --> 00:51:21.150
Okay.
1558
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:23.719
I mean, I don't know what that means, but I
1559
00:51:23.739 --> 00:51:24.519
think the pay is good.
1560
00:51:24.539 --> 00:51:27.280
Chassé is one of my six roommates, so I don't think.
1561
00:51:27.199 --> 00:51:27.840
It's that good.
1562
00:51:28.460 --> 00:51:28.860
Oh, really?
1563
00:51:29.619 --> 00:51:29.940
Oh, wow.
1564
00:51:30.429 --> 00:51:33.170
Go back to that thing that you just saw. $ 20
1565
00:51:32.469 --> 00:51:34.989
an hour is what they're getting. That's not bad. It's
1566
00:51:34.989 --> 00:51:36.889
11% better than the national average. Amazon says it has
1567
00:51:36.929 --> 00:51:39.309
over 1,000 Rivian electric vans making deliveries in the United
1568
00:51:39.329 --> 00:51:39.889
States right now.
1569
00:51:40.070 --> 00:51:40.349
Wow.
1570
00:51:40.449 --> 00:51:40.969
Wow.
1571
00:51:41.030 --> 00:51:43.119
I think some jobs should be replaced by robots.
1572
00:51:43.699 --> 00:51:44.059
Like what?
1573
00:51:44.500 --> 00:51:48.409
That one. But in return, like... There should be more
1574
00:51:48.489 --> 00:51:50.190
better jobs created for humans.
1575
00:51:50.230 --> 00:51:52.949
Yeah, right. Well, that's the argument, right? That is like,
1576
00:51:53.070 --> 00:51:55.170
as long as you were supplemented with another job, humans
1577
00:51:55.190 --> 00:51:56.489
have to fix the robots, right?
1578
00:51:56.789 --> 00:51:57.329
Yes, I mean.
1579
00:51:57.610 --> 00:51:59.250
More fix-it jobs. What else should be replaced?
1580
00:51:59.989 --> 00:52:02.829
I think... Podcasts? No.
1581
00:52:05.130 --> 00:52:08.170
Welcome to the Mad Friends Podcast. Today, we'll be talking
1582
00:52:08.389 --> 00:52:10.659
about diarrhea. I've had diarrhea before.
1583
00:52:19.389 --> 00:52:21.269
I'm trying to think of what should be replaced. It's
1584
00:52:21.309 --> 00:52:21.949
very difficult.
1585
00:52:22.309 --> 00:52:26.630
Fast food. Fast food workers are treated like shit. They
1586
00:52:26.650 --> 00:52:27.650
don't deserve to be treated like shit.
1587
00:52:27.670 --> 00:52:28.289
But where would they go?
1588
00:52:28.309 --> 00:52:29.130
What do you mean?
1589
00:52:29.809 --> 00:52:31.329
The fast food workers, where are they going to work?
1590
00:52:32.010 --> 00:52:33.389
Oh, I know. I haven't thought that far.
1591
00:52:33.409 --> 00:52:34.389
I mean, it's just like, you know.
1592
00:52:35.130 --> 00:52:36.179
They could start a podcast.
1593
00:52:36.199 --> 00:52:38.800
But fast food should literally be... It should literally be
1594
00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:41.860
a big fucking machine that has all the ingredients and then...
1595
00:52:43.090 --> 00:52:44.889
like a vending machine they could do that that's it
1596
00:52:44.929 --> 00:52:46.889
you just put it in a car yeah what the
1597
00:52:46.909 --> 00:52:48.409
fuck yeah yeah you don't need to be mean to
1598
00:52:48.449 --> 00:52:50.460
someone for 14 hours I do think.
1599
00:52:50.340 --> 00:52:53.559
There should be some humans if there's food involved.
1600
00:52:53.380 --> 00:52:56.760
No less humans have food involved in my opinion what?
1601
00:52:57.099 --> 00:53:00.099
humans are fucking if it's fast food yeah I'm not
1602
00:53:00.139 --> 00:53:02.219
talking about fucking a steak dinner what.
1603
00:53:02.139 --> 00:53:04.860
If it accidentally grabs like a bottle of poison instead
1604
00:53:04.900 --> 00:53:05.820
of ketchup.
1605
00:53:05.599 --> 00:53:08.119
Why is poison inside the fucking machine yeah yeah you
1606
00:53:08.139 --> 00:53:12.309
get one person as the person that like inserts the
1607
00:53:12.349 --> 00:53:14.409
food like he's a maintenance guy.
1608
00:53:14.349 --> 00:53:17.809
Yeah the human jobs are you have to load the
1609
00:53:17.849 --> 00:53:20.710
machines food loader fix them when they break yeah so
1610
00:53:20.730 --> 00:53:22.949
there's one guy that works there but you can eliminate
1611
00:53:22.989 --> 00:53:26.219
so many So for that, how about then what about
1612
00:53:26.260 --> 00:53:29.030
fine dining? No, no, no. You got to have, because
1613
00:53:29.070 --> 00:53:30.090
that's about customer service.
1614
00:53:30.929 --> 00:53:31.010
Oh.
1615
00:53:31.469 --> 00:53:33.550
Because getting a nice server that knows the menu, that
1616
00:53:33.570 --> 00:53:37.170
can wine pair well with a sommelier at high-end restaurants,
1617
00:53:37.329 --> 00:53:39.610
all that is a part of the experience of the meal.
1618
00:53:39.670 --> 00:53:42.170
Although I sometimes like talking, like if I'm doing a
1619
00:53:42.190 --> 00:53:43.769
show at night and then I spend the whole day
1620
00:53:43.809 --> 00:53:45.670
alone and I'm like, I have to get out of
1621
00:53:45.690 --> 00:53:47.409
the house to just talk to people before I go
1622
00:53:47.429 --> 00:53:49.750
on stage in front of a hundred or more people, right?
1623
00:53:50.369 --> 00:53:52.820
So if I go into like, A Taco Bell and
1624
00:53:52.880 --> 00:53:54.599
I can't talk to anybody and I just touch a
1625
00:53:54.639 --> 00:53:56.699
screen and then the food comes out and then I
1626
00:53:56.739 --> 00:53:58.550
eat alone. And then I, you know what I mean?
1627
00:53:58.570 --> 00:53:59.179
That's lonely.
1628
00:53:59.300 --> 00:53:59.789
Utopia.
1629
00:54:01.789 --> 00:54:02.170
Utopia.
1630
00:54:02.210 --> 00:54:03.610
That sounds perfect. That sounds great.
1631
00:54:04.030 --> 00:54:05.070
Boop, boop, boop.
1632
00:54:05.909 --> 00:54:11.010
And then back in your car. Back to, yeah, that
1633
00:54:11.050 --> 00:54:11.460
sounds like Utopia.
1634
00:54:11.480 --> 00:54:12.219
That's gross.
1635
00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:14.320
That sounds like Japan. They do all that kind of shit.
1636
00:54:14.340 --> 00:54:16.599
They have, Japan is like fully automated. The whole fucking
1637
00:54:16.639 --> 00:54:19.980
country is automated. Sprinkles, right. They do cupcakes. Yeah, but
1638
00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:21.559
they gotta load that with cupcakes.
1639
00:54:21.579 --> 00:54:22.000
The loader.
1640
00:54:22.539 --> 00:54:22.699
Huh?
1641
00:54:23.079 --> 00:54:24.440
Yeah, they just have a loader guy.
1642
00:54:25.219 --> 00:54:28.360
But also sprinkles, right. That's a bullshit business anyway. Fucking cupcakes.
1643
00:54:28.679 --> 00:54:30.159
Who needs that much? You know how many times I
1644
00:54:30.159 --> 00:54:32.960
eat cupcakes? Once a fucking year. Why do I need
1645
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:35.260
a vending machine filled with cupcakes? How many times do
1646
00:54:35.280 --> 00:54:36.119
you eat fucking cupcakes?
1647
00:54:36.969 --> 00:54:37.429
All right, I'll get up.
1648
00:54:37.449 --> 00:54:38.150
Every other day, maybe.
1649
00:54:38.730 --> 00:54:39.650
You eat a cupcake every day?
1650
00:54:39.909 --> 00:54:40.409
Every other day.
1651
00:54:40.750 --> 00:54:41.670
Where do you get a cupcake from?
1652
00:54:41.869 --> 00:54:43.190
I get it at Sprinkles. And I also get it
1653
00:54:43.230 --> 00:54:46.309
every day. Also, every other day. I'm being real.
1654
00:54:46.429 --> 00:54:46.949
Fuck you.
1655
00:54:47.090 --> 00:54:49.360
I do. Look at my fucking postmates. I get Krispy
1656
00:54:49.409 --> 00:54:50.719
Kremes every other day. Yeah.
1657
00:54:50.760 --> 00:54:52.500
And also- So don't tell me to take down a
1658
00:54:52.539 --> 00:54:53.940
picture on Instagram because you look fat.
1659
00:54:55.960 --> 00:54:57.599
Okay? That's true.
1660
00:54:57.619 --> 00:54:58.059
Okay.
1661
00:54:58.099 --> 00:55:02.940
But, yeah. That's true. But, I mean, you're saying that
1662
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:03.989
people don't eat it every day.
1663
00:55:04.769 --> 00:55:05.869
You might be the only one I know that eats
1664
00:55:05.889 --> 00:55:06.789
cupcakes that frequently.
1665
00:55:08.219 --> 00:55:08.619
What do you mean?
1666
00:55:09.119 --> 00:55:12.250
Fans, comment below how often you eat a fucking cupcake.
1667
00:55:12.289 --> 00:55:13.969
I bet you it's once in a great while.
1668
00:55:14.070 --> 00:55:17.070
I don't eat the icing. That's my fucking... Why don't
1669
00:55:17.090 --> 00:55:18.230
you just go bake a cake?
1670
00:55:18.289 --> 00:55:19.889
Isn't that called a muffin?
1671
00:55:20.369 --> 00:55:23.769
It's the perfect amount of fucking delicious fucking bun bun.
1672
00:55:24.190 --> 00:55:24.909
I love it, dude.
1673
00:55:25.469 --> 00:55:27.530
All right, that's the treat you eat the most of?
1674
00:55:27.559 --> 00:55:29.260
Yeah, I wouldn't eat sushi out of a machine.
1675
00:55:29.280 --> 00:55:30.940
That's fucking crazy.
1676
00:55:31.739 --> 00:55:32.039
I would.
1677
00:55:32.539 --> 00:55:32.780
How?
1678
00:55:33.019 --> 00:55:33.920
Depends on where I am.
1679
00:55:34.239 --> 00:55:35.019
These are in Japan.
1680
00:55:35.079 --> 00:55:35.940
Japan, I would do it.
1681
00:55:37.150 --> 00:55:38.809
That's where all the fucking sushi guys are.
1682
00:55:38.829 --> 00:55:41.170
Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
1683
00:55:41.409 --> 00:55:43.269
A sushi from a machine there is just like a
1684
00:55:43.309 --> 00:55:47.420
bag of chips here. Same thing.
1685
00:55:47.699 --> 00:55:47.980
Yeah.
1686
00:55:48.320 --> 00:55:49.360
What else should be automated?
1687
00:55:49.559 --> 00:55:50.019
They have these.
1688
00:55:50.079 --> 00:55:52.019
These are women's underwear, too. You can get in Japan.
1689
00:55:52.119 --> 00:55:53.619
That I'm a big fan of.
1690
00:55:53.659 --> 00:55:54.139
Big fan.
1691
00:55:54.599 --> 00:55:56.599
But they're worn. Some of them you can buy worn.
1692
00:55:56.659 --> 00:55:59.630
Yeah, that's, I mean, I don't know if that's really true, though.
1693
00:55:59.650 --> 00:56:01.590
So I've gotten it, and I was like, this doesn't
1694
00:56:01.849 --> 00:56:02.309
seem worn.
1695
00:56:03.349 --> 00:56:06.380
Back it the fuck up. You've ordered some worn panties
1696
00:56:06.400 --> 00:56:06.840
off the internet?
1697
00:56:06.860 --> 00:56:07.860
No, I got them in Tokyo.
1698
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:09.940
And then what do you do? Why do you want
1699
00:56:09.960 --> 00:56:10.679
them worn? Do you huff them?
1700
00:56:11.059 --> 00:56:13.139
No, because they claim to be worn, so I opened
1701
00:56:13.179 --> 00:56:15.219
it immediately and was like, I have to check this out,
1702
00:56:15.369 --> 00:56:16.730
and it was pretty clean.
1703
00:56:17.369 --> 00:56:18.349
But did you smell them?
1704
00:56:19.530 --> 00:56:19.769
Maybe.
1705
00:56:19.789 --> 00:56:23.190
Oh, my God, that's bad. What did they smell?
1706
00:56:23.230 --> 00:56:26.090
You either smelled them or you wore them.
1707
00:56:26.159 --> 00:56:27.500
I was on my honeymoon, Juicy.
1708
00:56:28.039 --> 00:56:28.940
I didn't wear them.
1709
00:56:29.099 --> 00:56:30.079
Oh, my mistake.
1710
00:56:30.099 --> 00:56:32.400
Somehow that makes it better. So wait a minute. You
1711
00:56:32.440 --> 00:56:34.900
got used panties from a vending machine in Japan. You
1712
00:56:35.019 --> 00:56:37.219
open up the package. Yeah. You know it's not used.
1713
00:56:37.550 --> 00:56:38.110
Yeah, I'm like.
1714
00:56:38.239 --> 00:56:38.719
Based on.
1715
00:56:39.699 --> 00:56:41.519
Just instinct. I just felt like it was a scam.
1716
00:56:41.539 --> 00:56:42.820
Just tell me that you smelled them.
1717
00:56:43.019 --> 00:56:44.199
I definitely smelled them.
1718
00:56:44.300 --> 00:56:45.360
And they didn't smell used.
1719
00:56:45.389 --> 00:56:47.690
They didn't smell like poopy or anything like that.
1720
00:56:47.929 --> 00:56:49.050
Do you like the smell of poopy?
1721
00:56:49.190 --> 00:56:51.730
No, but that would have indicated that it was definitely used.
1722
00:56:51.750 --> 00:56:54.289
Was it female underwear or men underwear? Female, of course.
1723
00:56:54.309 --> 00:56:57.170
Good question, Bobby Lee. That's a good question. I didn't
1724
00:56:57.190 --> 00:56:57.730
even think about that.
1725
00:56:58.369 --> 00:57:00.610
You don't smell men underwear, even if it says used.
1726
00:57:01.469 --> 00:57:03.380
Well, I don't think you can even get men's underwear.
1727
00:57:03.420 --> 00:57:04.719
It's more of like a female underwear thing.
1728
00:57:04.739 --> 00:57:06.719
You can now. Bad Friends underwear is going to now
1729
00:57:06.739 --> 00:57:09.989
be available used. Bobby and I's underwear... Let me ask
1730
00:57:10.010 --> 00:57:10.409
you something.
1731
00:57:10.550 --> 00:57:13.730
If you smell the underwear, the female underwear, and you
1732
00:57:13.809 --> 00:57:16.610
smell pussy juice, is that the right vernacular?
1733
00:57:17.150 --> 00:57:18.389
Please don't use the word juice.
1734
00:57:18.670 --> 00:57:23.010
You smell pussy sauce.
1735
00:57:24.789 --> 00:57:25.969
Pussy sauce.
1736
00:57:26.369 --> 00:57:29.690
The sauce of the pussy. You smell some sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1737
00:57:29.710 --> 00:57:33.280
Because sometimes it's like when you smell the sauce, right?
1738
00:57:33.380 --> 00:57:36.099
I'm being real. It's like, is this like from Europe?
1739
00:57:36.119 --> 00:57:37.099
This is good shit.
1740
00:57:37.119 --> 00:57:37.579
Good sauce.
1741
00:57:37.599 --> 00:57:40.119
From Europe? I love this sauce, baby.
1742
00:57:40.139 --> 00:57:40.960
What's up?
1743
00:57:41.019 --> 00:57:42.199
It's like Chick-fil-A special sauce.
1744
00:57:42.239 --> 00:57:42.739
Right, right.
1745
00:57:43.420 --> 00:57:45.320
And then it's like, if I smelled underwear with that sauce,
1746
00:57:45.639 --> 00:57:47.820
I would have to find the distributor of it.
1747
00:57:48.380 --> 00:57:50.219
Right. Right? So maybe that's a movie.
1748
00:57:50.469 --> 00:57:51.530
I imagine it's just a bot.
1749
00:57:51.570 --> 00:57:54.730
You're in a machine. You use female underwear. You smell it.
1750
00:57:54.730 --> 00:57:57.150
The sauce is so good. It's your destiny to find
1751
00:57:57.170 --> 00:58:01.289
this woman. I have a theory that the sauce is
1752
00:58:01.369 --> 00:58:01.889
so good.
1753
00:58:02.590 --> 00:58:02.750
Right?
1754
00:58:03.050 --> 00:58:05.130
That no matter what the distributor looks like.
1755
00:58:05.929 --> 00:58:06.389
You'd be in.
1756
00:58:06.630 --> 00:58:07.070
You'd be in.
1757
00:58:07.929 --> 00:58:09.090
Wow. This Christmas.
1758
00:58:11.590 --> 00:58:12.469
What about Santa Claus?
1759
00:58:13.150 --> 00:58:13.469
Mrs.
1760
00:58:13.510 --> 00:58:13.829
Claus.
1761
00:58:13.849 --> 00:58:14.409
Mrs. Claus, I mean.
1762
00:58:15.329 --> 00:58:18.170
Mrs. Claus has got some sauce for you.
1763
00:58:18.329 --> 00:58:19.510
The underwear's like this big.
1764
00:58:20.230 --> 00:58:25.260
Yeah. Let's order some used underwear for the show and
1765
00:58:25.300 --> 00:58:26.699
see if it smells from Japan.
1766
00:58:28.139 --> 00:58:28.559
But also.
1767
00:58:29.449 --> 00:58:33.409
Japanese people are very clean and cleanly. I feel like
1768
00:58:33.449 --> 00:58:35.909
their dirty underwear wouldn't be as gross as our dirty underwear.
1769
00:58:35.929 --> 00:58:36.889
Yeah, they're very clean.
1770
00:58:36.989 --> 00:58:41.489
We're fat and gross people. I still can't believe you
1771
00:58:41.510 --> 00:58:43.380
eat a cupcake every fucking other day.
1772
00:58:43.699 --> 00:58:43.940
Why?
1773
00:58:44.320 --> 00:58:45.579
It's just not normal.
1774
00:58:46.199 --> 00:58:49.059
I'll tell you what I eat every other day. Cupcakes,
1775
00:58:49.559 --> 00:58:50.199
Krispy Kreme.
1776
00:58:50.960 --> 00:58:53.539
I also eat, I don't know why, but every other day,
1777
00:58:53.599 --> 00:58:54.380
Uncle Polly's.
1778
00:58:55.780 --> 00:58:57.929
Did you see when I got sick, I had to
1779
00:58:57.969 --> 00:58:58.630
get Uncle Polly's.
1780
00:58:59.030 --> 00:58:59.219
Yeah.
1781
00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:00.360
It's one of my favorite selves.
1782
00:59:00.380 --> 00:59:01.360
My favorite too. Yeah. What is it?
1783
00:59:01.599 --> 00:59:03.559
It's a sandwich shop. Sandwiches?
1784
00:59:03.599 --> 00:59:05.820
Yeah. So I get that delivered every other day, but
1785
00:59:05.840 --> 00:59:08.829
then I order five sandwiches. I store them in my refrigerator.
1786
00:59:08.869 --> 00:59:09.670
There's too many sandwiches.
1787
00:59:09.710 --> 00:59:11.619
How many? deliveries do you get at one time?
1788
00:59:12.679 --> 00:59:12.900
What?
1789
00:59:13.460 --> 00:59:14.900
Why don't you just order them when you want them?
1790
00:59:15.239 --> 00:59:18.949
Because at midnight, they're not open. You can have Uncle
1791
00:59:18.989 --> 00:59:19.769
Pauly's at midnight.
1792
00:59:19.789 --> 00:59:20.590
Yeah.
1793
00:59:20.690 --> 00:59:20.949
Yeah.
1794
00:59:21.559 --> 00:59:22.159
Do you understand?
1795
00:59:22.219 --> 00:59:23.760
But should you have a sandwich at midnight?
1796
00:59:23.780 --> 00:59:24.530
I don't know. I don't know.
1797
00:59:24.719 --> 00:59:25.030
Right.
1798
00:59:25.280 --> 00:59:26.429
But I do. I get a sandwich.
1799
00:59:26.449 --> 00:59:28.889
You know, I think they're closed before midnight because you
1800
00:59:28.949 --> 00:59:30.190
shouldn't eat it after midnight.
1801
00:59:30.429 --> 00:59:32.690
Vitamin D, whole milk.
1802
00:59:33.570 --> 00:59:34.090
Oh, no.
1803
00:59:34.110 --> 00:59:36.849
I love it. Bob. I love it. And then, you
1804
00:59:36.869 --> 00:59:37.210
know what else?
1805
00:59:37.230 --> 00:59:38.849
Can I put the picture back up on my Instagram?
1806
00:59:40.150 --> 00:59:42.699
No, no, no. Yeah. Wait, how much do I use?
1807
00:59:42.719 --> 00:59:46.139
How many food deliveries on average do you get per day?
1808
00:59:47.320 --> 00:59:48.139
Door dash.
1809
00:59:48.239 --> 00:59:50.639
No. At least two. At least two. At least two.
1810
00:59:51.039 --> 00:59:51.300
Oh, okay.
1811
00:59:51.320 --> 00:59:51.719
Two a day.
1812
00:59:51.980 --> 00:59:52.239
Yeah.
1813
00:59:52.889 --> 00:59:53.219
How about you?
1814
00:59:54.309 --> 00:59:54.949
Maybe one.
1815
00:59:55.449 --> 00:59:55.730
A day?
1816
00:59:56.070 --> 00:59:56.329
Yeah.
1817
00:59:56.369 --> 00:59:57.150
Yeah. What do you get?
1818
00:59:57.829 --> 01:00:01.170
I get sweet grains a lot, or I go to
1819
01:00:01.250 --> 01:00:03.769
Body Energy Club. I get them for pickup.
1820
01:00:04.070 --> 01:00:04.409
Oh, I see.
1821
01:00:04.489 --> 01:00:05.670
Body Energy Club.
1822
01:00:05.690 --> 01:00:06.079
What do you get?
1823
01:00:06.250 --> 01:00:08.409
Somebody is doing well.
1824
01:00:09.320 --> 01:00:09.960
Have you been there?
1825
01:00:10.400 --> 01:00:11.349
No. I have no idea what that is.
1826
01:00:11.579 --> 01:00:14.039
It's really good. They do acai bowls and smoothies.
1827
01:00:14.300 --> 01:00:15.719
Oh, I'll tell you what a buddy said to me,
1828
01:00:15.940 --> 01:00:19.389
by the way. I should show you something. Can we
1829
01:00:19.409 --> 01:00:20.630
talk conspiracy for two seconds?
1830
01:00:20.869 --> 01:00:27.309
I love conspiracies. Kopeck, sit down for a second. Can
1831
01:00:27.329 --> 01:00:28.130
he sit down without that?
1832
01:00:28.150 --> 01:00:30.929
Of course he can, dude. If he wants to. Do
1833
01:00:30.949 --> 01:00:32.250
you want to be on the show, Max?
1834
01:00:32.769 --> 01:00:33.110
I don't mind.
1835
01:00:33.190 --> 01:00:36.130
Do you have arthritis or something, the way you walk?
1836
01:00:36.690 --> 01:00:37.590
No, I just walk on my toes.
1837
01:00:37.949 --> 01:00:38.190
Why?
1838
01:00:38.210 --> 01:00:40.070
Because he wants to be bigger than you.
1839
01:00:40.510 --> 01:00:41.110
That's incredible.
1840
01:00:41.389 --> 01:00:41.699
Thank you.
1841
01:00:41.780 --> 01:00:43.260
Why did you think that I was an Arsenal fan,
1842
01:00:43.280 --> 01:00:44.099
and why are you shocked by it?
1843
01:00:44.510 --> 01:00:47.449
It's because I haven't met many Arsenal fans here.
1844
01:00:47.469 --> 01:00:48.250
So that's the only reason.
1845
01:00:48.269 --> 01:00:52.090
You didn't base it upon my ethnicity, my attitude.
1846
01:00:52.159 --> 01:00:55.000
This is called race baiting. He wants you to say
1847
01:00:55.019 --> 01:00:56.079
something about him being Korean.
1848
01:00:57.519 --> 01:00:58.679
When I went to the Arsenal game last year, I
1849
01:00:58.679 --> 01:01:00.420
met a few Asian people there.
1850
01:01:01.380 --> 01:01:03.440
Get the fuck out of here, man. No, no, no.
1851
01:01:03.480 --> 01:01:06.199
Time out. Stay there. Did they look like him?
1852
01:01:07.340 --> 01:01:07.500
No.
1853
01:01:08.360 --> 01:01:08.929
What did they look like?
1854
01:01:08.949 --> 01:01:11.510
Go ahead and describe it.
1855
01:01:11.510 --> 01:01:11.889
Describe it.
1856
01:01:12.699 --> 01:01:13.769
Well, yeah.
1857
01:01:13.789 --> 01:01:18.650
No, no. I'm a police officer. I'm a police officer, right?
1858
01:01:18.710 --> 01:01:19.130
We're cops.
1859
01:01:19.150 --> 01:01:20.030
We're cops, right?
1860
01:01:20.190 --> 01:01:20.429
All right.
1861
01:01:20.489 --> 01:01:22.369
And the sketch guy is there or whatever.
1862
01:01:22.489 --> 01:01:23.030
I'm the sketch guy.
1863
01:01:23.050 --> 01:01:25.539
You're the sketch guy. This is Cliff Robham.
1864
01:01:25.679 --> 01:01:28.920
Hey, I'm Cliff Robham. I'm Officer Robham. I heard that
1865
01:01:28.980 --> 01:01:31.480
something went down and you were the only one that saw.
1866
01:01:31.840 --> 01:01:33.090
It was a couple of Asian guys, yes?
1867
01:01:33.110 --> 01:01:34.550
Yeah, so was it a couple of Asian guys or-
1868
01:01:35.250 --> 01:01:36.389
There was a couple of Asian guys.
1869
01:01:36.409 --> 01:01:37.469
Describe them to me.
1870
01:01:37.530 --> 01:01:39.340
I need to be able to draw them, so go ahead.
1871
01:01:39.639 --> 01:01:41.619
Asian guy number one. Describe it to me.
1872
01:01:41.659 --> 01:01:44.380
Around like 5'9, 5'8. Are you sure.
1873
01:01:44.119 --> 01:01:48.039
It was Asian? 5'9, that's pretty tall.
1874
01:01:48.159 --> 01:01:48.599
5'6, maybe.
1875
01:01:48.619 --> 01:01:52.099
Okay, thank you. That sounds right.
1876
01:01:52.119 --> 01:01:54.090
5'6, you know. Buzz cut.
1877
01:01:54.969 --> 01:01:56.010
Buzz cut. Explain.
1878
01:01:56.610 --> 01:01:58.409
Just like shorter hair, like shorter hair.
1879
01:01:58.789 --> 01:02:00.869
Color? Buzz cut.
1880
01:02:01.130 --> 01:02:02.730
Sort of like tan, maybe Filipino.
1881
01:02:03.530 --> 01:02:03.849
The skin?
1882
01:02:04.840 --> 01:02:05.840
It was like a tanner.
1883
01:02:06.039 --> 01:02:06.920
The color of the hair first.
1884
01:02:07.280 --> 01:02:08.219
Oh, a black. Black.
1885
01:02:08.300 --> 01:02:11.340
And then this. It was like a darker. A darker skin.
1886
01:02:11.940 --> 01:02:14.239
If you were going to give us an example of
1887
01:02:14.360 --> 01:02:16.400
what that skin looks like on something else.
1888
01:02:19.190 --> 01:02:20.250
Like that wood sort of.
1889
01:02:20.369 --> 01:02:20.750
Oh, wood.
1890
01:02:21.329 --> 01:02:21.670
Like this.
1891
01:02:21.889 --> 01:02:22.409
Wood skin.
1892
01:02:22.670 --> 01:02:23.090
Wood skin.
1893
01:02:23.210 --> 01:02:24.590
They had wood skin.
1894
01:02:24.610 --> 01:02:25.710
Wood skin. Black hair.
1895
01:02:25.730 --> 01:02:26.789
Black hair, wood skin.
1896
01:02:27.389 --> 01:02:29.449
Facial features. This is number one.
1897
01:02:30.449 --> 01:02:32.590
They have like, you know. Eyebrows.
1898
01:02:35.309 --> 01:02:38.809
A delicate dance.
1899
01:02:38.869 --> 01:02:43.260
One had a goatee. A full goatee.
1900
01:02:43.280 --> 01:02:45.530
Did one of them perhaps have a Fu Manchu?
1901
01:02:46.500 --> 01:02:48.119
Was it a Fu Manchu? Like they do in the movies.
1902
01:02:48.139 --> 01:02:48.440
What is that?
1903
01:02:48.460 --> 01:02:49.260
What's a Fu Manchu?
1904
01:02:50.539 --> 01:02:50.920
Interesting.
1905
01:02:50.940 --> 01:02:53.860
He doesn't know. What about their eyes?
1906
01:02:53.880 --> 01:02:54.300
The eyes.
1907
01:02:54.619 --> 01:02:55.300
Color. The eyes?
1908
01:02:55.480 --> 01:02:56.320
What color are the eyes?
1909
01:02:59.289 --> 01:03:00.630
It's okay to tell us that you couldn't see.
1910
01:03:00.710 --> 01:03:01.449
The color of the eyes?
1911
01:03:01.510 --> 01:03:02.829
I couldn't really see their eye color.
1912
01:03:02.969 --> 01:03:05.880
Okay. Do you think shape is important?
1913
01:03:06.340 --> 01:03:06.590
It is.
1914
01:03:06.639 --> 01:03:09.139
Officer? Shape of the eyes. Shape's important, is it not?
1915
01:03:09.159 --> 01:03:10.139
I'm drawing this picture.
1916
01:03:10.159 --> 01:03:11.199
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The shape.
1917
01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:12.679
You know, the typical.
1918
01:03:13.320 --> 01:03:14.980
No, the typical.
1919
01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:17.679
What does that mean?
1920
01:03:20.139 --> 01:03:21.010
The typical.
1921
01:03:21.030 --> 01:03:22.650
All right, you're free to go, sir. You're free to go.
1922
01:03:22.710 --> 01:03:24.570
Thank you. We'll bust him. We'll find him.
1923
01:03:24.610 --> 01:03:25.389
We'll find him, yeah.
1924
01:03:25.769 --> 01:03:26.219
We'll find him.
1925
01:03:26.230 --> 01:03:26.550
Yeah, yeah.
1926
01:03:27.690 --> 01:03:31.590
I got to tell you, this was, okay, so because
1927
01:03:31.630 --> 01:03:34.849
I spent the last week sicky boy, I had to
1928
01:03:34.889 --> 01:03:38.820
go to CVS. I'm not making this up. This is
1929
01:03:38.840 --> 01:03:40.820
what the shelves look like in the cold and flu section.
1930
01:03:41.039 --> 01:03:41.300
I know.
1931
01:03:41.460 --> 01:03:42.139
Look at me in the face.
1932
01:03:42.280 --> 01:03:42.440
Yeah.
1933
01:03:43.019 --> 01:03:45.659
At every CVS and Rite Aid I went to to
1934
01:03:45.739 --> 01:03:48.139
find some, I had to find two things. They're all
1935
01:03:48.179 --> 01:03:51.619
sold out everywhere, of everywhere. A pharmacist is on the
1936
01:03:51.699 --> 01:03:54.510
fucking phone at the desk when I go to get
1937
01:03:54.530 --> 01:03:57.539
a prescription and she goes to the other pharmacist Somebody
1938
01:03:57.639 --> 01:04:01.909
robbed Silver Lake CVS. And the guy goes, what? What
1939
01:04:01.929 --> 01:04:05.349
did they, like at gunpoint? No, he stole a bunch
1940
01:04:05.389 --> 01:04:09.409
of fucking medicine. Wow. I'm like, and there's a piece
1941
01:04:09.429 --> 01:04:13.280
of me that's laughing. Everyone is sick more than it's
1942
01:04:13.340 --> 01:04:15.000
ever been. Am I getting my conspiracy theory thing?
1943
01:04:15.119 --> 01:04:15.340
I am.
1944
01:04:16.480 --> 01:04:17.239
Something's going on.
1945
01:04:18.280 --> 01:04:19.300
Oh, here we go.
1946
01:04:19.320 --> 01:04:19.780
Look at it.
1947
01:04:19.920 --> 01:04:20.739
Here we go.
1948
01:04:20.739 --> 01:04:23.639
Look at the fucking shelves. Bobby, this is not one
1949
01:04:23.659 --> 01:04:27.380
of those seasonal everyone gets sick. Everyone I know, everyone
1950
01:04:27.400 --> 01:04:29.980
I know has just got over being sick or is sick.
1951
01:04:30.280 --> 01:04:32.170
The last time I was sick, three months ago, I
1952
01:04:32.210 --> 01:04:36.269
called Juliana, Rudy Jules, go to CVS, get me these things.
1953
01:04:36.550 --> 01:04:37.070
They were there.
1954
01:04:37.610 --> 01:04:38.389
All of them. They weren't.
1955
01:04:39.050 --> 01:04:41.150
No way. Did it look like that?
1956
01:04:41.349 --> 01:04:42.110
It looked like that.
1957
01:04:42.289 --> 01:04:42.989
Empty shelves.
1958
01:04:43.389 --> 01:04:47.409
They didn't have NyQuil. Couldn't find it. They couldn't find Theraflu.
1959
01:04:47.489 --> 01:04:48.050
Something's going on.
1960
01:04:48.050 --> 01:04:48.949
Couldn't find it.
1961
01:04:48.969 --> 01:04:52.500
Yeah, but you were sick on Friday. Was this Friday.
1962
01:04:52.239 --> 01:04:54.360
When you went? This was two nights ago.
1963
01:04:54.900 --> 01:04:56.889
So... Cyber Monday.
1964
01:04:56.909 --> 01:04:59.809
Oh, yes.
1965
01:04:59.849 --> 01:05:02.570
Cyber Monday. That explains it.
1966
01:05:02.610 --> 01:05:03.949
Right after Black Friday.
1967
01:05:04.030 --> 01:05:04.690
After Black Friday.
1968
01:05:04.730 --> 01:05:06.710
Because, you know, Black Friday for a cold and flu
1969
01:05:06.849 --> 01:05:08.130
stuff goes out the shelves first.
1970
01:05:08.329 --> 01:05:09.340
Is that on sale, though?
1971
01:05:09.550 --> 01:05:10.429
Yeah. Well, you can see.
1972
01:05:10.780 --> 01:05:12.519
No, honestly. This is a real question.
1973
01:05:12.800 --> 01:05:13.699
It's all on sale.
1974
01:05:14.059 --> 01:05:15.480
Oh, it is. That's why.
1975
01:05:15.539 --> 01:05:17.840
No, that's just CVS pricing. That's just like, you know.
1976
01:05:18.159 --> 01:05:20.960
I don't know how Black Friday works. Is Black Friday
1977
01:05:21.159 --> 01:05:22.800
everything is for sale?
1978
01:05:22.900 --> 01:05:25.260
No, here's the deal. On Black Friday, only black people
1979
01:05:25.340 --> 01:05:26.000
can get the deals.
1980
01:05:26.019 --> 01:05:26.920
That's not true. That's ridiculous.
1981
01:05:26.940 --> 01:05:27.320
That's the thing.
1982
01:05:27.599 --> 01:05:28.860
You said that last year and I Googled it and
1983
01:05:28.920 --> 01:05:31.719
it's not true. That's absolutely not true. I'm not going
1984
01:05:31.739 --> 01:05:34.579
to fall for that trick again. I literally did Google
1985
01:05:34.599 --> 01:05:37.000
that last year and it's not true. What's so funny?
1986
01:05:38.019 --> 01:05:39.599
I can't believe you tried to trick me two years
1987
01:05:39.659 --> 01:05:39.860
in a row.
1988
01:05:39.900 --> 01:05:41.679
I just know that you did Google it and you
1989
01:05:41.739 --> 01:05:46.159
were like, fucking Andrew. Everyone is sick and my buddy
1990
01:05:46.199 --> 01:05:47.650
and I were talking about it on the phone. You
1991
01:05:47.670 --> 01:05:49.869
know what it is? You know who's behind all this?
1992
01:05:50.570 --> 01:05:50.949
Pesos.
1993
01:05:53.449 --> 01:05:53.909
Campbell's.
1994
01:05:54.840 --> 01:05:55.159
Soup?
1995
01:05:55.639 --> 01:05:58.679
Campbell's soup. How often are they selling soup during the year?
1996
01:05:59.539 --> 01:06:04.280
Couple cans here and there. Come November, when everybody's sick.
1997
01:06:04.440 --> 01:06:06.920
Yeah.
1998
01:06:07.480 --> 01:06:10.750
Everybody's eating soup. Campbell's is behind this shit. This is
1999
01:06:10.789 --> 01:06:13.269
Campbell's thinking chunky, dude. They want you to get soup. Oh,
2000
01:06:13.289 --> 01:06:15.110
you can't get any medicine? You can't get cough syrup?
2001
01:06:15.130 --> 01:06:17.289
You can't get anything you need? Get a can of soup.
2002
01:06:17.760 --> 01:06:19.500
Dude, literally soup is not something that I think about
2003
01:06:19.519 --> 01:06:19.900
when I'm sick.
2004
01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:20.780
Get a can of soup.
2005
01:06:20.900 --> 01:06:21.719
I've never thought about soup.
2006
01:06:21.880 --> 01:06:23.099
You never have soup when you're sick?
2007
01:06:23.219 --> 01:06:24.500
I haven't had soup in like six years.
2008
01:06:24.579 --> 01:06:26.159
But you have a fucking cupcake every day?
2009
01:06:26.179 --> 01:06:30.679
I do.
2010
01:06:31.050 --> 01:06:31.690
Every other day.
2011
01:06:31.769 --> 01:06:33.150
Every other day, sorry.
2012
01:06:33.309 --> 01:06:35.670
Who eats soup when they're sick? Raise your hand. It's
2013
01:06:35.690 --> 01:06:36.949
the only time I eat fucking soup.
2014
01:06:37.150 --> 01:06:39.070
I don't get Campbell's though. You know what was the
2015
01:06:39.130 --> 01:06:40.110
best chicken noodle soup?
2016
01:06:40.250 --> 01:06:41.210
Whole Foods.
2017
01:06:42.239 --> 01:06:46.349
Dude, you're fucking getting fancy. It's not expensive. You know
2018
01:06:46.369 --> 01:06:48.989
what happened? She got a couple of bucks in her pocket,
2019
01:06:49.010 --> 01:06:50.889
and she's going to whatever that energy.
2020
01:06:50.989 --> 01:06:52.449
Next week is going to be Air One.
2021
01:06:52.469 --> 01:06:53.349
Oh, my God.
2022
01:06:53.369 --> 01:06:54.070
Next week is Air One.
2023
01:06:54.170 --> 01:06:55.469
I can't go there.
2024
01:06:55.650 --> 01:06:55.909
Why?
2025
01:06:56.170 --> 01:06:58.869
I used to go there for crew when I worked
2026
01:06:58.929 --> 01:07:00.809
on the Late Late Show, and I would pick up
2027
01:07:00.849 --> 01:07:03.050
the crew. Their lunch is there, and it's too busy
2028
01:07:03.090 --> 01:07:03.570
and too confusing.
2029
01:07:03.590 --> 01:07:05.409
What's the Late Late Show? Oh, with James Corden?
2030
01:07:05.489 --> 01:07:06.639
Yeah, I used to PA on that.
2031
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:07.780
Wait, did we talk about that?
2032
01:07:07.800 --> 01:07:07.860
No.
2033
01:07:09.260 --> 01:07:09.360
No.
2034
01:07:10.340 --> 01:07:12.099
Can I say a reporter called me the other day?
2035
01:07:12.960 --> 01:07:13.400
Wait, what?
2036
01:07:14.019 --> 01:07:17.119
It was nothing crazy. They were just doing some story,
2037
01:07:17.179 --> 01:07:19.599
and I haven't worked there in over a year, and
2038
01:07:20.039 --> 01:07:22.219
somehow they knew I worked there as a production assistant
2039
01:07:22.280 --> 01:07:25.190
and asked about my experience with James Corden.
2040
01:07:25.230 --> 01:07:27.769
Well, that's because they got him in Balthazar throwing, you know,
2041
01:07:27.789 --> 01:07:28.269
this whole thing.
2042
01:07:28.389 --> 01:07:28.610
Yeah.
2043
01:07:28.949 --> 01:07:29.630
More or less.
2044
01:07:29.710 --> 01:07:32.289
They tried to make it out to me that he
2045
01:07:32.309 --> 01:07:34.550
was like a fucking tyrant, but, you know, Hollywood has
2046
01:07:34.610 --> 01:07:35.199
way worse tyrants.
2047
01:07:35.219 --> 01:07:36.420
You told me to go there when we ate there.
2048
01:07:37.039 --> 01:07:37.519
At Balthazar.
2049
01:07:37.699 --> 01:07:38.059
Yeah, in New York.
2050
01:07:38.079 --> 01:07:39.559
Of course, I know. When I was uptown, I couldn't
2051
01:07:39.579 --> 01:07:39.849
meet him.
2052
01:07:39.860 --> 01:07:41.380
Let me tell you about James Corden, right?
2053
01:07:42.199 --> 01:07:42.559
Go ahead.
2054
01:07:43.000 --> 01:07:43.420
Do you like him?
2055
01:07:43.800 --> 01:07:44.719
I don't fucking know him.
2056
01:07:45.159 --> 01:07:45.659
I work for him.
2057
01:07:46.119 --> 01:07:46.440
You did?
2058
01:07:46.659 --> 01:07:47.980
Yeah. What'd you work for him with?
2059
01:07:48.159 --> 01:07:49.860
I did a show called Game On.
2060
01:07:50.119 --> 01:07:52.340
Oh, yeah, that was their production. It was Ben's show, right?
2061
01:07:52.360 --> 01:07:53.889
Yeah, Ben's show, but he was also the producer.
2062
01:07:53.909 --> 01:07:54.619
No, I know.
2063
01:07:54.639 --> 01:07:55.119
He would be there.
2064
01:07:55.139 --> 01:07:55.869
I understand, I understand.
2065
01:07:56.389 --> 01:07:57.489
I've driven him before.
2066
01:07:57.750 --> 01:07:57.989
Ben?
2067
01:07:58.230 --> 01:07:58.949
Yeah.
2068
01:07:59.010 --> 01:07:59.489
He's a good dude.
2069
01:07:59.510 --> 01:08:00.809
He's just a nice guy.
2070
01:08:00.909 --> 01:08:01.329
Yeah, Ben's great.
2071
01:08:01.349 --> 01:08:02.670
But I don't know what the thing is. Is he
2072
01:08:02.710 --> 01:08:05.409
an asshole? Who, James? Yeah. Yeah. No, dude.
2073
01:08:05.429 --> 01:08:07.090
They said he was at Balthazar's restaurant in New York
2074
01:08:07.130 --> 01:08:09.090
and he treated the server like shit. That's kind of
2075
01:08:09.130 --> 01:08:10.969
what this... I guess that's the summation of it, right?
2076
01:08:11.250 --> 01:08:11.570
Mm-hmm.
2077
01:08:11.590 --> 01:08:12.369
Am I missing something?
2078
01:08:12.489 --> 01:08:14.389
No, that's it.
2079
01:08:14.409 --> 01:08:17.149
So they wanted to dig him in this fucking, you know,
2080
01:08:17.270 --> 01:08:21.020
bad Europe, Hollywood elitist asshole thing, which I don't know,
2081
01:08:21.500 --> 01:08:24.979
but a restaurant interaction....
2082
01:08:26.119 --> 01:08:26.579
You know what, dude?
2083
01:08:26.760 --> 01:08:28.140
Do you ever have this thing where somebody says hi
2084
01:08:28.159 --> 01:08:31.420
to you? Like, a girl was hiking and I passed
2085
01:08:31.460 --> 01:08:33.100
her and she turned around.
2086
01:08:33.119 --> 01:08:33.479
Mm-hmm.
2087
01:08:33.819 --> 01:08:35.600
And went back up the hill with her friend and
2088
01:08:35.720 --> 01:08:38.039
as they were halfway away from me she was like
2089
01:08:38.319 --> 01:08:40.479
you're so funny and i didn't turn around but i
2090
01:08:40.520 --> 01:08:42.800
go thank you and then she goes i'm a really
2091
01:08:42.840 --> 01:08:45.439
big fan and i go thank you and i just
2092
01:08:45.470 --> 01:08:47.609
kept going down the hill and i thought that's fine
2093
01:08:48.050 --> 01:08:49.670
but then there's always a piece of me that goes
2094
01:08:50.689 --> 01:08:53.090
that's not fine is she gonna go fuck him he'd
2095
01:08:53.109 --> 01:08:55.510
even fucking X, Y, Z.
2096
01:08:55.529 --> 01:08:57.949
You got to turn around. No, I'm like, I'm going down.
2097
01:08:58.029 --> 01:08:59.279
I'm jogging down. You got to turn around.
2098
01:08:59.319 --> 01:09:00.319
I'm jogging down the hill.
2099
01:09:00.340 --> 01:09:01.189
Jog back up.
2100
01:09:01.199 --> 01:09:01.960
I have to stop my jog.
2101
01:09:01.979 --> 01:09:02.380
Jog back up.
2102
01:09:02.539 --> 01:09:03.020
Jog back up.
2103
01:09:03.020 --> 01:09:03.340
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2104
01:09:03.359 --> 01:09:04.090
You got to jog back up.
2105
01:09:04.100 --> 01:09:04.539
Write it down.
2106
01:09:04.760 --> 01:09:06.800
It's a lot of pressure. I was starting to get
2107
01:09:06.840 --> 01:09:07.760
a small taste of this.
2108
01:09:07.840 --> 01:09:08.739
Get ready.
2109
01:09:09.310 --> 01:09:11.109
When I work at the comedy store and I'm checking
2110
01:09:11.149 --> 01:09:13.529
people in by last name, I can't get... There's always
2111
01:09:13.569 --> 01:09:16.050
at least one person, but it's growing in numbers. Like
2112
01:09:16.090 --> 01:09:18.899
last night I worked and I probably... six to ten
2113
01:09:18.939 --> 01:09:22.489
people in the line stopped to say, oh, I watch
2114
01:09:22.529 --> 01:09:24.649
Bad Friends, and two of them took pictures with me.
2115
01:09:24.829 --> 01:09:25.050
See?
2116
01:09:25.109 --> 01:09:26.409
And I'm, like, checking them in, so I have to
2117
01:09:26.449 --> 01:09:29.350
keep the line moving, and my coworkers are, like, speed
2118
01:09:29.369 --> 01:09:30.829
it up, but I'm trying to give them.
2119
01:09:30.850 --> 01:09:32.949
Is it tough? It's cool.
2120
01:09:32.989 --> 01:09:34.630
I'm saying I'm getting it.
2121
01:09:35.189 --> 01:09:40.170
Is fame irritating you? Fucking grow up.
2122
01:09:40.430 --> 01:09:42.409
I'm asking you, how do you make a moment out
2123
01:09:42.449 --> 01:09:42.659
of it?
2124
01:09:43.909 --> 01:09:46.109
What I'm saying is, I always say thank you or whatever,
2125
01:09:46.170 --> 01:09:48.619
but there are moments during the day when, What I'm
2126
01:09:48.659 --> 01:09:50.659
saying about the James Corden thing is I don't fucking
2127
01:09:50.699 --> 01:09:54.479
know about him and his server. But in general, people
2128
01:09:54.520 --> 01:09:58.699
forget that you're also doing your life thing. So sometimes
2129
01:09:58.729 --> 01:10:03.569
you're not being as conscious of them as you are
2130
01:10:03.649 --> 01:10:05.729
doing whatever the fuck it is you're doing.
2131
01:10:06.069 --> 01:10:06.270
Yeah.
2132
01:10:06.350 --> 01:10:08.689
You know, like, I think that's a forgotten thing where
2133
01:10:08.710 --> 01:10:11.539
people are like, hey! Like, we were walking to the
2134
01:10:11.600 --> 01:10:16.430
USC-UCLA game, and some drunk fucking dude... I mean, it's
2135
01:10:16.489 --> 01:10:18.489
a ton of people. Everyone's trying to mill into this.
2136
01:10:18.850 --> 01:10:23.699
Some guy, Santino! And I go, hey, man. Like, fucking
2137
01:10:23.960 --> 01:10:26.680
please don't yell like that. There's so many people around,
2138
01:10:26.720 --> 01:10:27.600
and it's like, we're just trying.
2139
01:10:27.899 --> 01:10:30.180
And he goes, fucking what up, dude?
2140
01:10:30.640 --> 01:10:31.699
And I was like, hey, man.
2141
01:10:31.840 --> 01:10:32.359
Okay.
2142
01:10:32.770 --> 01:10:35.789
And then he goes, you're the shit, dude. And I
2143
01:10:35.850 --> 01:10:37.750
instinctively yelled, I go, thank you!
2144
01:10:38.489 --> 01:10:41.560
Just to be like, fuck off a little bit.
2145
01:10:41.840 --> 01:10:45.279
And people were laughing. And he was too. But it's like,
2146
01:10:45.399 --> 01:10:48.569
don't you also know that that's not how to do
2147
01:10:48.710 --> 01:10:53.510
this in front of humans? Other people are there. Some dad,
2148
01:10:53.550 --> 01:10:55.890
some old dad was like, what the fuck? Who are you?
2149
01:10:56.069 --> 01:10:56.850
I was like, nobody.
2150
01:10:56.880 --> 01:10:58.260
I mean, I liked it when they did it to
2151
01:10:58.300 --> 01:11:00.760
Ted Cruz at the Yankee game or whatever.
2152
01:11:01.500 --> 01:11:02.020
Fuck you.
2153
01:11:02.039 --> 01:11:02.720
You know what I mean?
2154
01:11:02.819 --> 01:11:03.340
That's funny.
2155
01:11:03.520 --> 01:11:06.039
Donald Trump called your wife ugly and you ate it.
2156
01:11:06.039 --> 01:11:08.659
You know what I mean? You fucking coward. You know
2157
01:11:08.680 --> 01:11:09.170
what I mean? I like that.
2158
01:11:09.189 --> 01:11:11.590
What would you have done if Trump said, if you
2159
01:11:11.630 --> 01:11:13.409
were still with Kalilah and he said, Kalilah's a pig,
2160
01:11:13.970 --> 01:11:16.210
a big fat jungle pig.
2161
01:11:16.250 --> 01:11:17.470
I'd never support him in the first place.
2162
01:11:17.789 --> 01:11:19.409
No, but I mean, if he was in your face,
2163
01:11:19.529 --> 01:11:19.979
what would you do?
2164
01:11:20.369 --> 01:11:21.390
I go, fuck you, dude.
2165
01:11:21.529 --> 01:11:24.979
And you go, fuck you, you little dumpling. Now what?
2166
01:11:24.989 --> 01:11:25.880
Now what are you doing to Trump?
2167
01:11:26.279 --> 01:11:31.479
And then I go, can you sign this headshot? I mean,
2168
01:11:31.500 --> 01:11:33.039
it's a big deal. It is a big deal. I
2169
01:11:33.060 --> 01:11:33.720
do get a selfie.
2170
01:11:33.979 --> 01:11:36.359
All right, let's tell a truth. Let's tell a real truth.
2171
01:11:36.420 --> 01:11:36.979
Okay.
2172
01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:38.039
Okay, Trump is in LA.
2173
01:11:38.500 --> 01:11:38.960
He is right now?
2174
01:11:39.439 --> 01:11:41.539
And we hear that he's a huge Bad Friends fan.
2175
01:11:41.619 --> 01:11:42.960
Yeah. Huge.
2176
01:11:43.300 --> 01:11:44.600
I'm a huge Bad Friends fan.
2177
01:11:44.619 --> 01:11:44.729
Yeah.
2178
01:11:45.489 --> 01:11:47.229
And he wants to come say hi to us. You
2179
01:11:47.250 --> 01:11:48.649
don't have to put me on the show, but I
2180
01:11:48.689 --> 01:11:50.810
want to say hi and see the studio. Do you
2181
01:11:50.829 --> 01:11:52.119
let him do it? 100%.
2182
01:11:52.119 --> 01:11:52.409
100%.
2183
01:11:52.409 --> 01:11:53.319
Do you take a photo with him?
2184
01:11:53.310 --> 01:11:53.529
100%.
2185
01:11:53.529 --> 01:11:56.960
Do you take a photo with him?
2186
01:11:57.199 --> 01:11:57.380
No.
2187
01:11:57.720 --> 01:11:58.479
You say no. No.
2188
01:11:58.520 --> 01:11:59.140
You literally wouldn't.
2189
01:11:59.159 --> 01:12:00.039
Do you not want him in the studio?
2190
01:12:00.060 --> 01:12:01.420
If he walked in here, you wouldn't shake his hand?
2191
01:12:02.140 --> 01:12:03.060
I would shake his hand.
2192
01:12:04.020 --> 01:12:06.060
But if he said, can we get a picture of
2193
01:12:06.079 --> 01:12:07.069
the crew? Would you get in?
2194
01:12:09.119 --> 01:12:10.819
Maybe I would, but I would do something funny.
2195
01:12:10.899 --> 01:12:13.079
Yeah, we'd all have to do like no smiling.
2196
01:12:13.340 --> 01:12:14.470
But can I tell you something?
2197
01:12:14.510 --> 01:12:15.149
Like bummed out.
2198
01:12:15.779 --> 01:12:16.880
Would you guys? What would you do?
2199
01:12:17.220 --> 01:12:18.960
I'll try to put him in the show.
2200
01:12:18.979 --> 01:12:19.819
Oh, yeah. Good producer.
2201
01:12:19.859 --> 01:12:20.310
Good producer.
2202
01:12:20.350 --> 01:12:22.529
Good producer. Yeah, yeah. Would you get a photo with
2203
01:12:22.550 --> 01:12:23.609
him if he was like, I want a photo with
2204
01:12:23.649 --> 01:12:24.289
Fancy B?
2205
01:12:24.850 --> 01:12:27.750
Definitely. Yeah. What about Putin? 100%.
2206
01:12:27.750 --> 01:12:28.289
Oh, my God.
2207
01:12:28.449 --> 01:12:32.270
If Putin walked in here. 100%. Hello. Nice to meet you.
2208
01:12:32.449 --> 01:12:33.930
I'd go, Juicy, your day is done. And then I'd
2209
01:12:33.949 --> 01:12:34.949
have Putin sit down.
2210
01:12:35.329 --> 01:12:37.750
But what if he had, like, Ukrainian blood on his hands?
2211
01:12:38.960 --> 01:12:40.579
I mean, it makes for a good pod.
2212
01:12:40.600 --> 01:12:41.859
Dry Ukrainian blood on his hands.
2213
01:12:42.770 --> 01:12:43.770
Putin will be on the merge.
2214
01:12:43.779 --> 01:12:46.510
He's rubbing his forehead. He's ripping in blood. You're like,
2215
01:12:46.630 --> 01:12:48.210
oh my God, Putin.
2216
01:12:48.250 --> 01:12:48.510
Yeah.
2217
01:12:49.130 --> 01:12:52.130
That's interesting to me. That's an interesting question. Like, I
2218
01:12:52.210 --> 01:12:54.390
hate him, but Trump, but it's like... I would take
2219
01:12:54.409 --> 01:12:55.409
a photo. If I saw him.
2220
01:12:55.850 --> 01:12:57.329
Dude, so would every fucking buddy.
2221
01:12:57.350 --> 01:12:58.670
I know, I know. That's the thing.
2222
01:12:59.050 --> 01:12:59.810
There's a few people that.
2223
01:13:01.489 --> 01:13:03.909
Definitely that's a photo for sure that's funny yeah that's
2224
01:13:03.949 --> 01:13:05.430
a funny any of those Lindsey Graham any of those
2225
01:13:05.449 --> 01:13:09.750
guys OJ Simpson ooh the juice the juice I wouldn't
2226
01:13:09.770 --> 01:13:11.390
even think twice we get the real juice I get
2227
01:13:11.409 --> 01:13:13.029
a better one that's the real juice what if Bill
2228
01:13:13.069 --> 01:13:15.609
Cosby Bill Cosby is a big fan of the show
2229
01:13:15.810 --> 01:13:18.590
wants a photo you getting a photo with Bill he
2230
01:13:18.689 --> 01:13:20.250
would sit there you know what I would do in
2231
01:13:20.270 --> 01:13:23.189
the photo what right and is it one two three
2232
01:13:23.210 --> 01:13:28.770
and I'd go right right right I would absolutely take
2233
01:13:28.810 --> 01:13:31.520
a photo It's funny. It's a thing to say.
2234
01:13:31.529 --> 01:13:34.420
I fucked up. I want to share this with you guys.
2235
01:13:35.220 --> 01:13:37.739
So I was listening to The Moth.
2236
01:13:38.699 --> 01:13:38.960
Oh, yeah?
2237
01:13:39.600 --> 01:13:40.659
You know what it is?
2238
01:13:40.680 --> 01:13:41.020
Yeah.
2239
01:13:41.039 --> 01:13:43.359
Right. And there was a story where this lady, you
2240
01:13:43.380 --> 01:13:45.020
know what The Moth is?
2241
01:13:46.159 --> 01:13:46.979
Remind me. I forget.
2242
01:13:47.079 --> 01:13:48.840
Every city, you know what I mean, over the last
2243
01:13:48.840 --> 01:13:54.550
20 years, they do these storytelling competitions and stuff.
2244
01:13:54.869 --> 01:13:56.630
And they record them. They're great stories.
2245
01:13:57.420 --> 01:13:59.439
Sometimes you get prize money, but now it's a podcast,
2246
01:13:59.460 --> 01:14:03.119
and they collect all these stories they've archived, and they're
2247
01:14:03.159 --> 01:14:06.399
very thematic. So once Courage will take one from 12
2248
01:14:06.399 --> 01:14:09.149
years ago, another one from London that happened a month ago,
2249
01:14:09.170 --> 01:14:15.090
and they're thematic sometimes. So there's this one where there
2250
01:14:15.109 --> 01:14:15.649
was a woman.
2251
01:14:16.390 --> 01:14:20.850
And she's 81, and she's telling a story. I don't
2252
01:14:20.880 --> 01:14:22.789
know if I– Do it. It's pretty long. Fuck it.
2253
01:14:22.800 --> 01:14:23.930
We're going long anyway. We can cut it out.
2254
01:14:24.750 --> 01:14:26.649
In the 50s, she was saying that I got a
2255
01:14:26.689 --> 01:14:30.729
job at some science lab. I was the only woman there, right?
2256
01:14:31.529 --> 01:14:33.420
And all these guys were bullying me. They were playing
2257
01:14:33.539 --> 01:14:35.840
pranks on me every day. I hated the job, right?
2258
01:14:36.319 --> 01:14:38.560
Then this other guy started working there, and he started
2259
01:14:38.600 --> 01:14:41.100
protecting me. He stood up to the bullies and stuff,
2260
01:14:41.640 --> 01:14:44.180
and we became friends, and we would write these letters
2261
01:14:44.199 --> 01:14:46.350
to each other. This was in the 1950s, and we
2262
01:14:46.369 --> 01:14:50.739
had this coded language that we would give notes back
2263
01:14:50.760 --> 01:14:53.859
and forth that only we could understand right which is
2264
01:14:53.899 --> 01:14:56.729
nice yeah four months later she leaves the job never
2265
01:14:56.739 --> 01:15:00.350
sees him again this is in the 50s she's 81
2266
01:15:00.350 --> 01:15:02.369
now right and she's like I wonder what happened to
2267
01:15:02.390 --> 01:15:05.449
that guy that I worked with in the 50s and
2268
01:15:05.529 --> 01:15:08.829
she googles him can't find him at all but then
2269
01:15:08.869 --> 01:15:12.550
a week later he finds her and he gets her
2270
01:15:12.649 --> 01:15:17.449
address and he sends her something in the mail it's
2271
01:15:17.649 --> 01:15:20.289
all those notes he saved No.
2272
01:15:20.689 --> 01:15:21.409
Since the 50s. Oh.
2273
01:15:22.560 --> 01:15:22.880
Right?
2274
01:15:23.569 --> 01:15:25.300
And he goes, you know, I've been thinking about you
2275
01:15:25.800 --> 01:15:28.880
for all these years. He's 91. Holy shit.
2276
01:15:29.180 --> 01:15:29.699
Holy shit.
2277
01:15:29.699 --> 01:15:33.600
81, 91. Yeah, 81, 91. Perfect time. Right. He lives
2278
01:15:33.640 --> 01:15:34.300
in San Diego.
2279
01:15:34.560 --> 01:15:38.079
He makes his oldest son drive him to New Hampshire,
2280
01:15:38.100 --> 01:15:39.079
and that's, I guess, where she lives.
2281
01:15:39.199 --> 01:15:41.020
So fucking far. There's a pretty far. You just get
2282
01:15:41.039 --> 01:15:41.319
a plane.
2283
01:15:41.340 --> 01:15:42.659
Mm-hmm. But he drove.
2284
01:15:42.800 --> 01:15:43.239
He's old.
2285
01:15:43.319 --> 01:15:44.699
That's like five days.
2286
01:15:44.779 --> 01:15:46.810
I know, but one, you know what I mean? His
2287
01:15:46.819 --> 01:15:47.470
heart can implode.
2288
01:15:48.239 --> 01:15:49.329
He could have died on the drive.
2289
01:15:49.350 --> 01:15:50.949
That's true. Anyway, that's what happened.
2290
01:15:50.970 --> 01:15:51.630
It took like a month.
2291
01:15:51.729 --> 01:15:52.409
That's what happened.
2292
01:15:52.430 --> 01:15:53.180
Okay, I get it.
2293
01:15:53.289 --> 01:15:55.770
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not a part of that family.
2294
01:15:55.850 --> 01:15:56.729
So long.
2295
01:15:58.010 --> 01:16:04.130
So anyway, he drives there and they get married. What?
2296
01:16:04.449 --> 01:16:04.750
No.
2297
01:16:04.829 --> 01:16:09.750
Yeah, they get married and he kisses her in every
2298
01:16:10.670 --> 01:16:14.329
spot around town. Everywhere they go, like at the post office,
2299
01:16:14.369 --> 01:16:16.689
at a restaurant, in a park, because he wants a
2300
01:16:16.750 --> 01:16:19.770
memory of a kiss at every place in this town.
2301
01:16:20.710 --> 01:16:21.029
Wow.
2302
01:16:21.250 --> 01:16:21.609
He's 91?
2303
01:16:21.609 --> 01:16:24.270
He's 91. I think it's that he just keeps forgetting.
2304
01:16:29.779 --> 01:16:30.000
Right.
2305
01:16:30.060 --> 01:16:36.340
Have I kissed you here? Yes. We kissed six minutes
2306
01:16:36.359 --> 01:16:36.720
ago here.
2307
01:16:36.779 --> 01:16:37.000
Right.
2308
01:16:38.539 --> 01:16:38.720
And.
2309
01:16:38.800 --> 01:16:40.000
Have I kissed you here?
2310
01:16:47.729 --> 01:16:52.680
It's really funny. And so for five years, she has
2311
01:16:52.720 --> 01:16:55.119
the best five years of her whole entire life.
2312
01:16:55.420 --> 01:16:56.380
And she dies.
2313
01:16:56.579 --> 01:16:59.279
He dies. Yeah, I was going to say. He's 95
2314
01:16:59.279 --> 01:17:00.039
or 96, whatever, right?
2315
01:17:00.060 --> 01:17:01.229
Wow.
2316
01:17:01.239 --> 01:17:01.789
She's still alive.
2317
01:17:02.869 --> 01:17:03.930
So she's looking for love.
2318
01:17:03.970 --> 01:17:05.770
No, no, she's not looking for love. My point is,
2319
01:17:05.869 --> 01:17:08.810
so it's a romantic story, right? Best five years. It is.
2320
01:17:09.050 --> 01:17:12.529
But I told Kalilah to hear it. So I'm sitting
2321
01:17:12.550 --> 01:17:14.600
at the kitchen table like four days ago. I go,
2322
01:17:14.609 --> 01:17:15.279
listen to this moth.
2323
01:17:16.090 --> 01:17:19.489
And as soon as that note thing happens, right? She
2324
01:17:19.510 --> 01:17:22.810
tells her, right? She just bursts into tears. Like, I
2325
01:17:22.890 --> 01:17:25.149
can't find love. It was, like, terrible.
2326
01:17:25.310 --> 01:17:25.970
Oh, that was bad on her part.
2327
01:17:25.989 --> 01:17:26.810
Yeah, it was bad on my part.
2328
01:17:26.850 --> 01:17:28.050
Give it to your ex. Yeah, you don't give it
2329
01:17:28.090 --> 01:17:28.529
to your ex.
2330
01:17:28.550 --> 01:17:30.909
Yeah, so, you know, guys, don't give that to your ex.
2331
01:17:31.329 --> 01:17:33.340
Because it's fucking devastating. Right?
2332
01:17:33.449 --> 01:17:34.060
I can't find love.
2333
01:17:34.109 --> 01:17:35.340
And what come you? You know what I mean?
2334
01:17:35.350 --> 01:17:35.760
You did this.
2335
01:17:35.770 --> 01:17:37.189
That's a bad moth to give to her.
2336
01:17:37.199 --> 01:17:38.939
Yeah, it was fucking terrible. Yeah.
2337
01:17:39.399 --> 01:17:42.239
I gotta tell ya. I gotta tell ya.
2338
01:17:42.319 --> 01:17:42.439
What?
2339
01:17:44.569 --> 01:17:46.210
I'm putting back up the photo on my Instagram.
2340
01:17:46.289 --> 01:17:46.720
No you're not.
2341
01:17:46.750 --> 01:17:47.949
Thank you for being a bad friend.