The Invisible Illness: What Living With Endometriosis Really Looks Like

Chris Garcia: So before we get started, for the folks that are out there that are listening or that are watching, may have heard of endometriosis and have no idea about it, right? or maybe even have a family member that might have it and want to know more. So I guess ultimately the question is is, you know, if there was one thing that you would want that person to understand, whether it be male or female, male because they're living with somebody that that is experiencing it, or a female that maybe is just learning that that that's what that they have it, right? but what would you tell that person or those those people? I would probably say that while you may have been going through things that you probably had no idea what's going on and it was probably been a long road. It might continue to be a long road. It's a journey quite surely to get a diagnosis in itself. Hopefully I mean there's luckily been things that are making it easier to figure those things out. Like I know they're exploring blood tests and things to make it easier to diagnose. So People don't have to go through, well, A, multiple doctors to figure it out. That way it it makes it more accessible for doctors to test it easier. As long as you keep trying with your doctors and and advocating for yourself, advocating for yourself is definitely the biggest thing because It's so few and far between that doctors are easily answering to what you're wanting to get done because there's definitely a doctor like a gap with doctors that understand that we have something and it may not be psychosomatic or whatever it may be, like what they think it is. It's something that we know it is. Welcome back to Average Joe. Let's talk about it. This episode is going to be a little bit different than what we normally do here. Usually we're talking about growing up, nostalgia, music, life experiences, or whatever happens to be on my mind that week. But every once in a while, there's something that deserves a bigger conversation. And this is one of those things. In this episode, I'm sitting down with my daughter and having a conversation about a condition that impacts women all over the world. A condition that doesn't get the kind of attention or care it rightfully deserves. The hidden battle within that we have come to know as endometriosis. She is currently living with stage four, which is the most severe, and instead of me reading statistics to you for an hour, I thought the best way to get a better understanding was pretty simple. Ask her. So that's what we did in this episode. But before I send you on your way. You gotta know that obviously we know we're not doctors. We're gonna talk about some basic medical information throughout the episode. But when we talk about symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment, we're primarily talking about her experience. This isn't medical advice, but if somebody hears her story and recognizes something they've been experiencing themselves, maybe it gives them a reason to start asking questions. So let's get back to it. overall, I mean, I think what what I understand is you you could break it down to like three different sections, right? Doctors who are asked to treat this right and and have a better understanding of it. and then you have the loved ones that may you know have somebody in their lives that are struggling with it that they don't understand. Right. Because it is it is just not something that's out there. You know, everybody hears, cancer or diabetes, you know, and there's so much information out there about that kind of stuff. And that that's easy to understand. That's easy for the the common public to get behind where endometeosis is a different story. So, you know, whether you're in a relationship with somebody that has no idea, right? And then you gotta kind of, you know, teach them, hey, you know, this is this is how my body works. This is who I am, right? And this is not just going to go away because it's not, it's not curable, right? and then Of course, for the the young women that are out there now that are probably just, you know, kind of coming into their own and and saying, Hey, you know, there's there's something going on here that I don't understand. Could this be it? And if so, you know, what do I do about it? So that's kind of what we're gonna get into as we go through this interview and talk about some of those things. But yeah, I I think you're right. I think the there is a lot of there is a lot of misconception. There is a lot of the a lack of understanding education behind the disease itself. Like there's we're there we have we're lucky to have the doctors that we do have that know as much as they know about it, and have done their research and have done their work behind figuring out what this disease does and how it works and where it comes from and what it's gonna do to the body. but there's also a lot of doctors that have absolutely no clue about it. Yep. Like I I've I've met doctors who've probably asked me to explain what the disease is to them. I I'm pretty su I it might have I think my appendix my general surgeon for my appendix surgery. had to be explained to on what exactly was taking place. Why are we doing this appendectomy? Yeah. I mean, a lot of times, you know, I mean general practice doctors and surgeons who don't deal in you know, invasive conditions like that. Yeah, more intense diseases and I know like and I don't is it really a disease though? I mean, or is it a condition? Is it because when I think of a disease, I think of something that is transmittable or I don't know, I guess it could be hereditary. I mean you could look at it as a disease. I just feel like that we're putting that label on it and it should be it should be more. It should be more. I don't think a disease like breaks it down. And I think when people think disease, they think something completely different than what you're going through. I ag I agree. I actually I watched a video the other day of I don't remember the creator's name, but they I I think they have one that's based on endometriosis and everything. They described it as a what is it? A non-malignant cancer. is is the way that they put it. In terms like that's that's is that's what they think it should be called in terms of the way it works. Sure. Because it attack it can attack so many different areas. There's it's spread like the way it spreads. the things that feed it. Yeah. You can't necessarily get rid of it with one certain thing. hormone therapy doesn't it helps, but it doesn't, you know, cure it or anything like that. So it it acts in the way a cancer does, but it's not necessarily malignant or lethal in the way most cancers are. Right. So well, let's go let's go back to the beginning, right? Your experience. when did it start? Like how how far back can you remember thinking something isn't right with my body? I mean, I would probably say around the t like not very long after I started having a period is when I kind of realized like something wasn't necessarily right. Cause I I think I I I don't necessarily I think I had my period when I was tw I wanna say twelve, maybe. We were in Chicago. Yeah, we were in Chicago. I might have been eleven, but I'm pretty sure I was twelve. and then not very long after that, I was mom was finding something to like we did birth control eventually, because that was the only thing that would help my periods at the time. I mean obviously not but like do you think that you you and and mom came to a conclusion that hey, this could be endometriosis? I don't think we knew that early on because I mean, even then, I don't think we had I don't think either of us had heard of it when I was like between until like I was like fourteen or fifteen, maybe is when we probably found out. Like like the n the word, like even the the condition w itself. Because Bonnie, Grandma Bonnie's got it as well. I think just in that initial point. We didn't think that it was we weren't sure what it was and we didn't have a doctor that was able to tell us like, look, this is what it is. Right, right. and we didn't h we couldn't there was no way for us to get an answer specifically for it. I mean, we had assumptions. I'm not sure if mom ever maybe thought of it. I don't think I ever did because I hadn't I hadn't heard of it until I was told like a little bit before I was diagnosed and got the surgery. So before that, did before I knew something was up. I just didn't know. Did you think maybe it's like, hey man, I'm just having a a really terrible period. I'm one of those girls who have the worst pain during menstruation that you could ever have. It's so funny hearing these words come out of my mouth. But yes, yeah. Like that's a lot of people that think that way. And it's well, because that's what we're t I mean, I think it's just what we've been, you know, told constantly. I think there's since there is such a misconception behind. certain and I mean it's it's not just endometrios too. I know like Jordan from back when we lived in Mississippi, she has PCOS, which just got reclassified as something else because it's much more than that. she also like had the same she has the s similar ash issues, like just being told it was a bad period because that's that's just what doctors say because they don't want to look further either they don't want to look it further into it or they genuinely don't have any other explanation for it other than that. A little bit of everything. I mean a little sprinkle of everything. You know what? I don't think w a a man should be treating this because they just don't get it. And, you know, I I need to go find a primary care provider that's female that might have an idea, but that's not always the That's not always the resolution either because it's an education problem too. Yeah. Cause it I mean, there could be a female doctor that knows way just as little as a male doctor could as well. So but I mean, I think it it definitely ranges with people. I mean, there's definitely people who just genuinely don't know, and then there's people who are a little bit more negligent in the in the process of those kinds of things. Just because unfortunately we have doctors like that nowadays. Separately about that one. Yeah, the medical care that people get. And even more so, and we're we're gonna get to it anyway, is the the equity of care that that women get, right? compared to men. And yes, women just deal with way more things than men do overall anyway, especially because you know, your reproductive systems are so complex, you know, we just we're we just show up. Yeah, no. And and it's unfortunate because there should there should be more research behind a lot of different women's health things that aren't as researched as much as they probably should be. and I know that there's plenty of different other aspects that yeah you can talk go on and on about that relate to all of that. But yeah. So when it comes to When it comes to the pain, right? and I'm sure your tolerance level has gone up in in all the years you have been dealing with this to the point where it's just now it's there, and then when you have a severe flare up, it's probably just debilitating. But even as a is as a young kid, you know, preteen, young teenage years, you know, like how bad was it? Like how could you describe like what kind of pain it was? I mean, I definitely th I remember a a few times, like even being in school and being like there was I there's a few very specific instances I can remember, but there the pain was definitely still really like Really bad. Like it takes your it can take my it took my breath away a lot. Like that's what it really did. It felt like I was getting the the wind knocked out of Was it like a continuous pain or was it just like a sharp like no it's punch in a stomach type or stabbing in a stomach type? Yeah, it's kind of like a stabbing in the stomach kind of pain as well. But I mean it kind of it holds. It definitely it it depends on w what specific pain you're feeling, I guess, because there are different pains you can feel. but I I know like w there was one time being in school, I think I was in like a gym class and I just I think we were walking around and I could not I like c I was hunched over in pain. I I think one of my friends ended up having to walk me to the nurse because I literally I just could not get back up from from where I was at because I was almost stuck in like the position because of how constricting the pain was. you were afraid if you've moved it would make it worse. Yeah, yeah. And I mean that's definitely I mean that happens. I I mean even now still sometimes where like I'll I'll get certain pains and I'm like, I'm just gonna stay right here and not move and wait. I like I luckily I always have like a heating pad next to the bed. I keep it next to plugged in next to the bed all the time. I don't have it on all the time, but I keep it plugged in and I make sure that it's near me. We always I think you and I were always fighting for it because it was either my back or your endometriosis. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, between the two. And there's also I mean, there's just there's other times too where it's been like I mean, I know like when I was a kid, there was there was a time at home where mom like Mom found me in the bathroom because I was in just I was just sitting there and then crying because I was in so much pain and I couldn't walk. I didn't want to walk back to my room. and I had crawled to the bathroom in the in order to get to it because I was like I felt like I was gonna throw up, I think, from the pain. And then I just sat there and then I think mom heard me in the middle of the night and like came and checked on me and walked me back to the bed. Doing doing the mom thing. Yes, yeah. So let's explain what we're actually talking about. because somebody watching may have heard of endometriosis, but but really has no idea what that means. And and so for me, right, just doing the research that I've done, you know, the basic explanation is that endometriosis is a chronic disease, right? There's the word where where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of it. So it's obviously in a place that it should not in, like we made a reference to. It kind of operates in the same way that a cancer does. Yeah. Yeah. and it causes I think the the main things that cause the most ailments in it is like it causes like lesions and adhesions is what they're called. That's what causes like things to stick together. So I mean you'll have a lot of people have cases where like an ovary will be stuck to like the uterus or the fallopian tube will be stuck to the uterus or in some case. and those things are what causes it to stick and those are what causes the pain too, because the way it pulls on things. Right. And I guess and it it's it's a it's a working system in itself. It produces its own, you know, it has its own like blood not blood supply, but it's produces its own estrogen. I know that. Right, right. I've learned that from I always fed off of it. It does feed off of other estrogen. So like that's why one of the treatments is birth control. Birth control. eventually if it gets so bad and you know, and if you don't end up wanting to have kids or something like that, that's why the they'll do a hysterectomy because once you take the whole uterus out, you're not Shedding the lining, yeah. Or or producing enough estrogen to worry about it feeding off. Yeah, well, and it doesn't yeah, it just doesn't feed it as much. I mean, you'll constantly make your as I mean, as a female, you're gonna make your own supply of estrogen at some point either way, with or without your uterus, but it s it takes the levels down a a drastic amount. when you hysterectomy is kind of like an an extreme measure to eradicate it. And it's not even and it's not even a cure, right? It's not even a hundred percent effective for a lot of people. No, yeah. And so I I think that I think that in itself is crazy because some people just can't even they can't even deal with the pain and and they've gotta balance their life. They gotta balance their their their womanhood. And the the idea that, hey, do I want to start a family? Am I able to start a family with the condition or however severe it is? You know, depending, right? you know, to carry a child to full term even, right? without without worried about risks. Yeah. Yeah. and so people will go to the extreme side and say, Listen, you know what, I've made this decision. I cannot handle the pain anymore. I'm just I'm gonna do away with it and hope for the best. And you know, and and that's tough because you know, you you wanna have children, you know, your biological imperative, so to speak, is to reproduce, you know. It is, you know, it's in in it's inherent in in all females to want to have a they have a motherly instinct. Everyone has a motherly instinct, that's a female. Right. And you want a family. I mean, you want you want to have kids, you know. Kids are great. Yes. They are. They are. They're cute little, great little cute beings. So when doctors explained if they even did, right? So what kind I guess the real question is is when you had a doctor give you an explanation after you were diagnosed, what what did they tell you? Was there even a a a good explanation or it was just kind of vague? Well, I was very I I think I got very lucky with the the doctors that kind of Cause I had two doctors that worked kind of hand in hand to to get me a diagnosis. Cause that's when I was I was at Mississippi State University and they have the the university doctors on campus there. And the the doctor that I saw, bless her heart, I can't remember her name for the life of me right now, but the doctor that was there, the female doctor, she was amazing. She when I told her all the issues that I was having. And like had told her that I had been going to other doctors and I hadn't been able to figure out what the issue was. She did every test under the sun that she could in that tiny little university clinic and to figure out what was wrong. And when she couldn't figure out what was wrong, she said, Look, I have an inkling of what I think it is. I I I know she's the first one to say that first said endometriosis to me. and she said, I'm gonna refer you out to the clinic that was the Starkville women's clinic that was right off campus. Right. And Dr. Fike there, she's the one who did my surgery and everything. And she told me like she's like, look with like the your the history of your really like with the cramping that you've been having, the nausea, like the y that gets really bad and the pain and all everything that I had been describing. Now she she didn't ever find with the test that she could do any cysts or anything, but she suspected that I had probably gone through series of having cysts before because most cysts you can have and they'll go away on their own. I mean, they'll be painful while it's they're there, but sure. Most can go away on their own if one ruptures. You'll know, and it'll be painful. and that's what a lot of women will end up in the ER for with. And cyst. Yeah, of a cyst, yeah. When I think about endometriosis, I mean it this is what I envision, right? I envision this, like this weed of you know, like you ever seen those textbook about the nervous system, and you and that's all you see or the circulatory system, yeah, and you don't see anything else, nothing skeletal, no muscle. yeah, when it's just like the branches and all that, that's exactly what. Endometriosis is is like just climbing its way through you like that. Yeah, and it's very I mean, it is it's funny that you say it 'cause it is kind of like web like. It is like it it spreads like a web, in the way it looks. And I mean, well, there's s it looks so many different ways, but that's definitely one of the biggest things is the way it spreads. I'm really surprised that it took as long as it did for for the E word to appear, right? And it is a diagnosis, right? Because There was a lot of I think a lot of conjecture on like, hey, maybe it is this, but nobody would actually say it for sure. There was no committal to a diagnosis, right? I mean, because if you think about the time that it took between you first experiencing that type of pain and then to getting the surgery that you finally got to get rid of a lot of it when you were in Starkville. Yeah. there's a there's a gap there. There's like from two thousand and 12 though 13, 14s in that area right there when when you first started having those issues. And then, you know, we went to Hawaii and we were there for three years. And then, you know, you started school a year after we got to Mississippi. So we're talking like five years, yeah, or six maybe even dealing with this before you got to that point where they said, Hey, you know what, this is what it is. We're gonna dig real deep, we're gonna find out for sure, and then we're gonna do something about it. So prior to that happening, like what was it like? I mean, did did things change? Was it kind of I don't know, did did the pain kind of lay off a little bit during your high school years prior to moving from Hawaii to Mississippi? Do you remember? I mean, so I know like when I when I was first put on birth control, I think it really I think it did make a difference at first. I think it did help a lot. And I mean I I was grateful for the time because it it it it's very strange because I feel like there was times that it worked well and there's times that it didn't because but I also think it depends on the kind of birth giving yeah, the brand and everything. Cause I also sweet I mean, we know I struggled with finding a birth control that didn't make you Crazy. Yeah. Cause I mean I definitely think that's a hormone imbalance situation. Yeah. And you're adding you're adding hormones to a situation that's and you're trying to suppress, you know, your body's estr estrogen creation to calm down this this it just it acts like this virus or this weed every time I think about it. But it's serious though. I mean it's crazy to me that you know you're you're sacrificing one thing for the other. And it always seems to be like your reproductive system versus the pain and this struggle that you have to endure. It's like you're balancing these two things and and that and that ab above everything else to me is probably horrible. So like if you get into that side of it as as in a you know, in your twenties now, right? And and you're at that age where you start thinking about those things, and you've probably, you know, and I know you've been thinking about that kind of thing for for a minute now. Yeah. you know, what what goes through your mind when you're thinking about, hey, I have this thing going on with me. What am I gonna do? You know, when it comes, you know, how is this affecting you emotionally or mentally? You know, are you just trying to like take care of the pain situation and get it under control? or Are are you actively working towards the goal of being able to have children without risk and without future issues? Yeah. I mean, I've definitely yeah, I mean, yeah, you know, I've been thinking about this for a a while now. I mean, I I was very close to trying to pursue the IVF and everything. and I mean, if I end up having to do that, I I won't be upset if I end up having to go the IVF route, but I would much rather prefer to like try and do it as naturally as possible. But I I don't know. I think about it a lot. I I it worries me that I won't be able to conceive naturally as possible. if I end up me having to need help, I'm not gonna be I'm gonna do it anyways and hope for the best. Sure. but it is it is something that frequents my mind often. There is there is times where I worry that I won't be able to have a kid and that I won't be able to even like carry the baby myself. Because that's what I that's that's what I'm most worried about because I would love I really love to do that. I mean you that's an experience in itself sure carrying a child and and growing it yourself. it's a a deep connection that a mother has with their child. So I and I want to be able to experience that. And it is I kind of it's a question mark, you know? It's not really something that I can put my thumb on right now that I know for sure is gonna be able to happen. I've been told by multiple doctors that you're young, you're young and everything. And I mean, like, granted, I I may be young, but I know what this disease does to women's reproductive system in terms of being able to conceive and carry a child. and I know like, I mean, I've ev I was even told when I was in the process of trying to do the IVF situation and I was going to the fertility doctor and everything. Like she told me that there there is a possibility of ectopic pregnancy, which is when it doesn't implant in the uterus. it can implant in like the fallopian tube or in the like it could completely outside of the uterus. Which is dangerous, right? Very dangerous. Dangerous for mom and baby. Yes, yes for mom and baby. Yeah, because I mean there I mean there's definitely I think there's maybe been like one or two cases where I think maybe it's been okay. It's been very dangerous for the mom. The mom ends up making it somehow, but there's definitely been cases where mothers have passed in that situation and so of the kid. Like there's it it could either be one or the other or both of them, and it's a situation that usually ends up being asked to be resulted in a a medical abortion or or something like that in order to you know keep the viability of the mother. Right. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean and you know, as a dad, you know, I I I think about that kind of stuff too because, you know, I didn't understand it until I started doing research and, you know, it was it was just one of those things I never that I never really truly understood either and probably will never understand, you know, but I do understand what you've gone through, right? I understand what your experience is. I think just like everybody else, they just need to educate themselves on exactly, the the mental and physical the emotional and physical effects that this particular condition has on women in general. You know? And so, you know, we were talking about different stages earlier, right? There's stage one through stage four, stage four being the most severe. And Did you ever know, like did were you ever stepped up or did was it just straight your four? You're you're you know, I mean cause Yeah. I mean, so I mean, so when I had my first surgery, my first surgery was in February of 2020. And that's when I was told I had stage one and everything. It wasn't anything crazy. and then I didn't have this the second surgery where I was told I had stage four in twenty twenty-five. So that's five years apart. Granted, I wasn't told by anybody that I had gone up like from like stage one to stage two or stage two to stage three or anything like that. But I definitely, I definitely think along the way on my own, I kind of came to the conclusion that it's like it's definitely worse than it was before. Because so even before somebody said, Hey, you're you're at stage four, you kind of already had an idea that you were probably there already. Yeah, I mean, I was definitely like I remember being told, like I remember waking up and her telling me, the doctor telling me that I had stage four. And like I went in thinking, probably knowing like in the back of my head, I think I knew that I had stage four. But I was kind of just hoping that I didn't have stage four because it's of course it's one of those things. You don't wanna you don't wanna hope that you have anything, but I I was I was hoping that it wouldn't that I was just pumping it up in my head because I tend I tend to do that. I mean, I mean, I tend to think things are further along than they are or whatever the case may be. and that ended up I ended up being right I that it was stage four. but I definitely like the pain had definitely it definitely changed from when I was stage one. Like I had a I have a lot more different symptoms it affects me a lot more than it did when I had stage one. Right, because you know, obviously it's not like stage four cancer, there's there's a complete difference. That's apples and oranges, but but the idea is it's not the it's not an increase in pain, so to speak. It's more of an increase of area. Right that that's affected. Right. And so in that case things that are all a different that would kind of double your pain, you know, if you were at a two and then all of a sudden, you know, you have You're doubling. You're going from just being in this area here to coming up into your your lower extremities, you know, where your stomachs here, your your your bowels and intestines, you know, yeah. And some some very important organs living in there, right? You know, your spleen or your liver, your your kidneys and your appendix, which you had to have removed because well, do we know Right. Do we know that it was definitely affected, or we just were trying preventative to get it out of the way so it wasn't? Well, I mean 'cause it was like they said it was larger. It was five times the size of a a normal appendix. My appendix was five times the size. now the general surgeon, he said that it there was definitely no signs of appendicitis. Like it didn't look like I I showed no signs of appendicitis. I wasn't having any appendicitis pain. Like I didn't have pain in that region that was related to the appendix at all. And when my doctor, like my specialist, explained it, I think it seemed as more so like she didn't say it outright that like it's from the endometriosis, but she definitely insinuated that it could be from the endometriosis, that it may have somehow either gotten inside the appendix and and enlarged it in that way or if just because I mean it can inflame it inflames other organs that are around it. So whether it's was it was probably touching it in some way, shape, or form when it was in my body. So I'm assuming just the the brush by of it probably inflamed it and that's what caused it to be five times the same. engulfed by this weed, so to speak. It's it's just because it's been around it and and yeah, it's it's it's a part of the system. Yeah. It's a it's it's become well, I feel like it's as if it's become a a part of the system that's, you know, being hurt by the endometriosis. So it's affected by it in w some way, shape or form. And I and and We don't even know for sure. For all we know, you you might have been on the verge of having appendicitis. I could have been right there and it was getting ready to just pop like a bubble or something and I just didn't know. But you just don't know because I mean you're i everything that happens with your body with a that that's something like that, you're you automatically assume because of the disease they're That's probably the reason. That's the go-to. Yeah. It's more to transformation. It probably is, you know. Yeah. You know, and just to be safe, you know, it it taking out, the appendix, especially when it's five times the size it should be, was probably the best idea. Yeah. I would not have wanted that to stay in no. No, that did not need to stay. So we we were talking earlier about, you know. being believed and being understood and going to the right people to get the right diagnoses and and you know the next steps, right? and and it's amazing to me that you know I was reading up on this to find out that in the world, one in ten women and girls of reproductive age are afflicted with this. And so I think that, you know, and So it boils down to about a hundred and ninety million people. That's a lot of people that have endometriosis at whatever level that they have at you know stage one through stage four. and just like for you, the diagnosis can take years. I mean, we're talking, you know, from the start until when you finally started getting procedures done and and seven, like I think it was like seven years in total. Like I think that's what it my count was. So I think we talked about the road to get there for the most part, right? So, just to kind of go over it one more time, you know, from the from the moment you said, Hey, you know, this doesn't feel right to to now, you went through a period where it was kind of, you know, we were medicating it, so to speak, with birth control. I was coasting is what I call it. I was c I was coasting by on it. And I'm sure a a lot of women out there who deal with it where they don't have flare-ups for a long period of time. I mean, it's just with anything with the human body too. We we're assuming that, hey, you know, I've got it managed, it's under control. Mm-hmm. and but then you're just waiting for that other shoe to drop. Yeah. Uh-huh. And and I think, I mean, are you well, first off, have you ever been at a point where you thought to yourself, like you truly thought to yourself, I think I have it under control. I think I'm managing it pretty good. The flare ups aren't as bad or they're non existent. For a period of time where you had some hope? I mean, I definitely, I think it would be before I even knew what it was. Because technically, I mean, I didn't know when we lived in Hawaii, I didn't know what I I had. I would I didn't I wasn't diagnosed. I knew I had something, there was something up. And they were trying to still figure it out. I mean, I was seeing doctors every now and then, not too too often. Were you getting tests? I mean, were they running. They were yeah, they were no I remember yeah, I remember getting tests because that's when I because I I remember before we moved to Hawaii I was terrified of needles. And then by the time we left Hawaii I wasn't terrified of needles because I had a thousand times. Yeah, 'cause I had started being poked all the time. so I know that they did plenty of blood tests. I know I'd gotten a couple ultrasounds here and there to see if they could see anything on any of the ultrasounds. I don't think I ever got any like MRIs or like CAT scans or anything down there. I don't remember but how effective though do you know are you know, are getting an MRI or a C T scan as much as like an ultrasound. An ultrasound is probably the go to for something to try to achieve it. Yeah. So yeah, usually usually it's a vaginal ultrasound. That's the best way to see everything because it's the easiest way to see cysts and fibroids. Those are the things that you can see at least on an like an an internal ultrasound. But If not, I mean, I know that there's some, like there's some cases where on an MRI you can see it, not on a CAT scan. I know you can't see it on a CAT scan. but on an MRI, I believe, is where you can possibly see, I think maybe cysts too. but you can't see like like you can't see like the lesions and stuff like that, the things that are causing the things to stick together. but besides that, I mean it's kind of Kind of a coin toss. Like you can it depends on the person, and it depends on the case and how bad it is and what's gonna show up that day. Cause I mean, if it's just cyst or if it's fibroids, or because there's so many different kinds of cyst too. Like there's there's it's not a one-stop shop, like there's so many different categories of little things that it causes that. may or may not show up depending on how large they are or how severe they might be or what area they're in because they can hide too. Like there's areas, there's plenty of areas in the body for these things to hide and not be seen on these scans because of the position in which they're in. So I mean you can have something sitting behind or sitting between something and you won't be able to see it unless you go in with either maybe an ultrasound, which could maybe better see between things, which is typically why I think that's why they usually gravitate towards the internal ultrasounds, is because you can see between. but it's also you only get the pelvic region. Right, right, right. When you do that. Like you can't do a abdominal area, you're not getting a look at Yeah, you're not getting a yeah, you're not getting a good look at it because it's only a topical Ultrasound. So like when it's just on like through the skin, like when they were looking at like my gallbladder when I was having the pain in my side. they didn't see anything wrong. They couldn't see anything there, but I was having pain right there. Like that's exactly where my pain was, and they couldn't see anything. And it was very severe pain. How frustrating is it when you just feel like you're they don't believe you, right? I mean, that you I mean, do you feel like certain doctors that you had approached about this and seen just didn't believe that you were you know having the kind of pain or or what you thought it was because it ends up being you as the individual who are experiencing it has to do the research yourself. You were advocating for yourself. Well in your case as a young teen, you know, you you had your mom advocating for you. But you know, as as a young adult now, you know, you're advocating your for yourself and you come into contact with these people where you just want to pull your hair out because they want to go in all these different directions, but you know what the issue is, but they just don't want to listen. Yeah, no, and that's that's definitely like when I had my most recent ER visit with when they did all that they did all the they did like six different tests too. They like I did I I was sat on like this weird bed for like an hour, two hours for some sort of scan that showed absolutely nothing. and I didn't like it was I I it had potential to show something, which is why I and entertained it at all. Right. But it was new to you, so you It was new to me, yeah. I had never I had never done that. Right. Maybe they know something that I don't, right? Yeah. I was like maybe something like maybe something will show up and see that like maybe But once again it was For nothing. Yeah, no. You walk out there with no resolution and still severe pain. Yeah. And like I mean, there was a doctor that I came in c the doctor that I came in contact with there after before I had gotten that specific test. she had done the the MRI and the CAT scan and you know, said nothing had shown up. And I had brought up the fact that I have endometriosis because I hadn't like I had brought it up multiple times throughout the time that I had been there already. And I hadn't really gotten much, I don't even, I wouldn't know how to explain. I hadn't gotten much feedback from anybody saying that, like, yeah, and maybe let's look into this and see if maybe that's possibly what it is, considering that's something that you're you have on your medical chart. Like it's on my chart that I have endometriosis. and they did not entertain the idea at all. I had a very lovely nurse that, you know, was tried to advocate for me as best as he could, but You know, and I eventually said to the doctor when she came in, I was like, you know, could it be It's funny that you have a male nurse that's trying to advocate for you and you've got a female doctor who doesn't know what's you know what to do. Exactly. And she like she straight up told she's If if I it would have shown up on the MRI if it was gonna be on the MRI. And I was like, qu quite unfortunate lady, you don't know that it doesn't always show up on an MRI. I I tried to I tried to ask for some sort of gynecological specialist, or even just right I just a regular GYN doctor, if anything, and I was not entertained in the least. Nobody nobody listened to me at all. And I got very it was extremely frustrated. I was I think I even cried tears of frustration because I was like Damn it. Right. I was like, like please, like, do you like can like listen to what I'm saying because I'm saying something that's valid. Like I'm I'm I know what I'm talking about here because this is something that I have and I've been being treated for this for a good period of time now. Yeah. So I think I would know a little bit about it. the thing about it is having something like this going And going emergency medicine just does not treat specialty conditions, right? No, and they've never had they they've always had a bad They're there about triage only. They just want to They're to make sure that you're gonna be alive. Right. They they want to keep you alive. and then if it gets to a point where they gotta send you upstairs and and you know, make room for you, then they'll admit you. You know, God forbid that you have to do that, but it's unfortunate that you know, you can't get relief right away for this particular affliction. It's just impossible. It's it's it's rough. It's rough. And I mean even in the cases of like there's there's certain times where I'll go for just my pain. And I mean I don't ever want to seem like I'm like seeking anything. Like because I I know that there's probably so many women out there who go to the ERs I think there's I think there's women who who do go and who do need pain medication and because they've they don't have anything else to help with their pain and quite frankly, there's there's only so much that we can do for our pain in order to bring it down to a certain level where we can operate on a day to day basis. Right. and we're some of us are made to seem like we're pill seeking when we're we're genuinely just trying to get relief. Right. And I mean, that's an unfortunate side effect of, you know, people out there that are abusing the system. Yes. Right. Make it difficult for you that have genuine pain issues that might need something, for pain management. You know, God forbid. I mean, we don't ever want to do that. I I'm against pain management and I try to avoid it as much as possible. I I d yeah. I try not to and I really the only times I've genuinely like gone and asked for pain meds is when it's gotten like so bad to where I can't like I can't move or get out of bed. Like if I can't move or get out of bed, then I know I need to go and at least get something to help, you know, get me over the lump of having this exhausting pain that's just it it's 'cause sometimes it's just so bad. It's it's really genuinely terrible sometimes where Like I said, it takes my breath away most of the time and it just like I can't breathe because it's so painful. So let's sh let's shift gears because we kind of like we're we're deep into the you know the medical field having you know that lack of education or you know just the belief and and just knowing what to do right for endometriosis. But outside of that, right, you still have to live a normal life. you have to go and and maintain employment to take care of yourself in order to to have insurance and all these things. and deal with people in general, just in your life, right? and the difficult part about that and having endometriosis is the fact that nobody can see what's going on with you, right? Yeah. Invisible invisible illness. The invisible illness. So people can see you and you look, right? You put the face on, right? And you may be just like your your pain level might be at a six, it's manageable, it's tolerable. You can you know, live, and you can tolerate it enough to where you can get through the day. Yeah. Put a smile on your face, give a chuckle here and there. You know, have a good time to the best of your ability. Cause you have trained yourself to be able to do that. Right. In the beginning was not even close to that. But no. You get to a point where you're like, all right, I I gotta I I can't not live my life. Yeah. No, that's definitely that's definitely something you you learn over time. I think I think anybody with a chronic illness probably understands that kind of portion of a a chronic illness of trying to just fight the battle of wanting to be able to live a normal life while still being able to manage what you have going on because it is such a like it's like a teeter totter issue. Like, you know, like sometimes, you know, you're up on one end on down on the other. And sometimes it's not a straight shoot and it's it's a tough it's a tough situation sometimes. It's really hard to to pull yourself together sometimes to really like, you know, fight to have, you know, a social life or just being able to go to work or certain things like that. But I mean, in order to make it work, we gotta what kind of per I mean like if you put a percentage to it or a ratio or whatever, like how what do you think the balance is between you having to deal with this and not being able to live a a normal life like you know, regular people if that's such a thing. But yeah. But you know, you know, dealing with endometriosis and having to put the smile on, you know, how often are you are you living your life versus you're just laid up? You just you you can't handle it for that day, right? Yeah. well, I don't know. that's a good question. I think it it really just it depends definitely on the person. I mean I mean I know for me, I definitely have I think more often now I have a a little bit more bad days than good days like here and there. but I definitely fight to have my good days, man. Sure, course, man. We all I try to we all want have a good day. Yeah, I try to battle through because I know there there's some days where I just I genuinely feel so exhausted and my my energy is completely My battery is drained and I I don't have the the go in me, but I'll try and like help out around the house with whatever I'll can. I'll try and cook dinner to make myself feel better or f something like that. That's what most recently what I've been doing is at least if at least if I know if I if I can make myself a good meal at the end of the night and and feed myself a good meal, I know I've done something that feels productive for myself for the day and I don't feel like a total waste of time or total waste of the day. That's the emotional and the in the mental health impact that something like this has on you. Because you know, you you you wanna be able to fight and you wanna be able to fight through it, right? And and have have a normal day, whatever that looks like, right? I mean, have you ever been e even been able to say, hey, today was a normal day. And what is a normal day for you? I mean I guess yeah, no, that's a really good question. I mean when I mean I'm not working right now. When I was working, it was being able to, you know, go through a whole day of work and be able to not like 'cause I mean that's that was one of my biggest issues when I was at work, is it it was so hard to get through the whole friggin' shift because like Quite literally by the end of it, I'd be like falling like I'd be falling asleep almost because everything, cause well, I was also working somewhat of a strenuous job, working with dogs and working outside in the heat and and and you know, constantly moving throughout the day is a little bit strenuous, especially for the condition that I have. So, but I mean, getting through and just getting through a day of work and being able to come home and still be able to feel like I can still do something afterwards is what felt like normal to me at that point. point now I'm just as long as I can get up and and do some things around the house, clean and and and do all that and make sure I have something to do. If I can find something to keep myself busy or help with around the house, I do that. That way I feel productive at least because otherwise I just don't feel I I don't feel like I'm doing anything. Do ever have to force yourself though to get to that point? Yeah, no, there's definitely I I definitely have days where I would much rather just sit down and lay in bed because I quite literally don't have the energy to do anything else. besides maybe sit up. Yeah, pain pain is fatiguing. I mean it it is. It is it'll drain the the it'll drain your system completely and It's just a poor quality of life. It is. It it brings down the quality for sure. And I think the I think just the fact that in addition to the pain itself, the the the condition can drop down. Like I mean, it drops my iron like I mean, you know, I have I've like my iron levels are really low, so Like it takes away anytime my period comes around. And that's not supposed to happen for when somebody has a period. You're not supposed to drop like an extreme amount of iron when you go through it. You may drop a little bit because obviously, you know, when you're when you lose blood, you're losing iron, but Well, and that could be completely unrelated, right? It might be a hereditary thing that you unfortunately got from mom. Lord Lord knows, honestly. But yeah, it's just one of those things where it like there's there's so many other things that it can affect. Like I'm sure like my B2, I'm sure my B twelve is crap from this. Like I I'm sure I don't do a whole bottle up in the in the medicine cabinet if you want to take it with you. I'll take it. I'll take it. so here are some things that I've wondered about. you know, personally is like when when people see you doing like normal things and going to work and you know, hanging out with friends and and doing all the things that you are struggling to do, maybe and maybe you're not. Maybe you're you you're actually having a good day. I mean, how difficult is it for you to maintain that? I know that you said, you know, You don't want to be to the point where you're so debilitated that you're just laid up because you feel unproductive. And mentally that's a strain too, because then you're like, God, I feel like a piece of shit. No, yeah. You genuinely I'll genuinely how I feel. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's defin God, yeah. I mean, there's definitely times where I like like I'll be out and like I mean, my my boyfriend knows he Robert knows he Like he'll see it in my face sometimes where I'll I'll be fine for like maybe the first couple hours of hanging out with some friends and and and I'll get some cramps. Like I'll start cramping out of nowhere for a good like 30 minutes to an hour and I'll be out and want to sit in a corner and just like shut up, don't talk to me. Right. Yeah. Let me sit in my fucking pain. Otherwise just I'm not Yeah, yeah. I don't want to put this on you. So just Yeah, have your keep yeah, keep your distance, have some fun. I'm gonna sit and deal with my sit with my pain for a second and talk to it and tell it to go away. and I there's sometimes where it doesn't last as long, sometimes it's a quick spurt, and then sometimes when I'm out I don't have any issues at all. it really I think I think it depends on what I've eaten in the day, what I've done in the day. I think I need to I think People with endometriosis always need to keep in mind their limits because unfortunately with a condition like this, we do have certain limits with things. I I know that, you know, putting ourselves in in extreme heat and things like that, like I know that that's something that can increase symptom. Not in no, I guess not necessarily increase symptoms, but have symptoms come on. Right. Being in extreme heat, because I know like When I worked outside, when I worked at the kennels, like I it got to the point where I couldn't I couldn't be outside in the the heat anymore. Like it was too much. Like I could be at least in the area where there was fans and stuff and we had like some air conditioning, which is when I switched to being inside, and like cleaning the kennels instead of working outside with the dogs. 'cause I could do that more 'cause I was I I was highly in t I'm extremely heat intolerant. So like being outside is is strenuous as hell for me. Like I well, I mean this this disease in itself is an uncomfortable aside from the pain. Yeah. Right. Even if the pain is to at a level where you can manage it and you can get through a day, you're still dealing with it. And so having that pain still sticking with you, it's it's uncomfortable to have to to live with. And then on top of that, you're putting in yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Yeah. So nobody wants to be in extreme heat because that's just gonna exacerbate your your already problem that you have going on. Exactly. Yeah. And then on top of that, do you think that that stress probably makes it worse? for sure. yeah, any sort of stress, where it's physical stress or like physical strain or emotional strain, like all of it, I think that all has to do with it. I think I've always been a big believer in like your your body and your mind are connected. And whenever something's going on up here, it's more likely that something else is gonna go on down here. So I I I would not doubt at all that when I'm stressed or I've put a lot of physical strain on my body for a day or something, that it it definitely exacerbates the situation and makes it worse in some way, shape, or form. whether it's taking away a little bit of energy or causing the pain to be a little bit more physically straining than it was the day prior, or when I wasn't feeling that way. So I think it I mean it just depends on the person too though. Cause I feel like there's some people who probably who go through stress and it doesn't the doesn't have the same effect on on their body 'cause everybody's different. But I think it works probably two ways. Like you were saying, you know, one begets the other. So I mean if you're If you're having an emotional breakdown, that's probably going to activate something in your body, whether it's endometriosis or any kind of pain or affliction that you're dealing with, right? And then on the back side of that, or on the flip side rather, you know, you pain itself and whatever your body's going through hits you pretty hard, you know, emotionally and mentally, and does really create hurdles to have the best mental health that you can because You're you're just constantly in this cycle of pain. Okay, it's starting to go away. pain. that's right. pain. Okay, here it is again. and so that's gotta that's gotta be tough, you know? Yeah. I've had a lot of people pride me on my my positive outlook on it. I try to be as positive I as I can with it and kind of take it all with a grain of salt and boogie it off. PMA I call it positive mental attitude, right? Yeah, yeah. cause I rather I mean, I rather think about the positive things in my situation rather than the negative. because I'm a very I don't know, I think if I dwell, I'll dwell too hard and I d I don't ever want to make my situation worse by making my emotional health worse. Sure. and I know, I mean I've I I've had issues with depression before and I don't want to get back to an area where I'm super depressed again. And I definitely have my moments where I get really down in the dumps about my condition and my situation and what the future may have and hold be holding for me, because it is an unknown as far as my condition goes. But I try to maintain a positive attitude as much as possible because otherwise I'm just gonna be miserable and I don't want to be a miserable person. I don't want people around me to see me as somebody who is miserable. I don't want like I'm not a I'm not a person who likes pity. I don't like people to like I'm not a woe-me person. I don't like to have somebody dot on me and and don't it just it doesn't it's not my style. I am not that kind of person. I as much as I think it's a wonderful thing to be taken care of by family and friends and all that. I don't want anybody to look at my situation and instead of saying wow, I wish somebody could help her, I I would be more I would rather them look at it and see what can I what can I do to make the situation better or something like that or things like that because I just I don't like being negative. I'm not a negative person. I don't like to be a negative person. I like happiness. Don't we all? so your growth as as a person in this situation, right? Because you think about the stigma that goes along with talking about anything of this nature, right? A lot of it's personal. especially when you're talking about, your womanhood and yeah and all that kind of stuff, you know. How do you think that your journey of, maybe first thinking, hey, there's a stigma and there's some embarrassment having to have these conversations turn into sitting down with dad and having this conversation now, right? has it kind of grown with you? It's like it the more you learn about it, the more comfortable with the idea of what you're going through versus like. If you could remember your fourteen year old self versus, your twenty-five year old self and be like, you know what? I'm definitely a different person. But yeah, I mean, so how how bad was it, or how difficult, I guess I would say, was it to talk about in the beginning versus now? I think me when I was younger as well. I think I was always kind of more I think when I was younger, I was always a little bit more shy. I was a little bit more reserved when I was younger as is. So I mean, going through something that I didn't really know much about and I didn't really know how to explain the issues that I had been have like that I was having at the time. It was such like it's kind of was something that was hard to put into words, I feel like. So it was just already hard to talk about in its in itself. like it's a dinner conversation anyway. Yeah, no. I mean it might be now that we're all adults together. Right. You know you guys are all grown up. But I And it's such a normal I think it's just become such a normal thing in our household now. Right, right. Absolutely. but no, yeah. I mean I think I think when I was younger, I I didn't really know how to talk about any of that, probably at all. but I mean now that I'm more I mean I'm twenty five now. I'm fixing to be twenty-five, so I I I'm more comfortable in how I speak about things. I'm much more open. I feel like I'm very very open book. even with outside people outside the family, you know that type thing. No, yeah. I definitely think like I mean, I I I I'll talk to anybody about this nowadays. I mean, Robert, he had one one of his friends, we were talking about it yesterday, 'cause he brought up something about peptides. And I recently saw something about how peptides is gonna be used as a possible they're researching that as a treatment for endometriosis. And we spoke about that and I was happy to talk about him. He had no idea. I he had no idea what it was. He was like, Could you like, could you tell me what that was? Like what that is? And I had to explain it to him and I would spit it right off the tongue. I don't it's it's not I I don't really have like a taboo about it anymore. I think I definitely probably did when I was younger, but when you're a teenager in sex ed you're all kind of hee hee ha ha ha. Yeah, to have those conversations and be like and even as you get it and just still joke about stuff like that. No, of course. But I think it's just like when you're younger, you have the natural inclination to kind of joke about those kinds of things or kind of shy away from those things. But now that I'm older, I have I have zero issue. So would you tell it? Would you tell like your 14 year old self if if she was listening or watching now? Would you say, Hey, listen, there's no reason to be embarrassed about it? It is it is something that happens to so many women that are out there that are dealing with it today and have struggled the same way that you are, you know, like how would how would you convey that message to that young girl who who was you at the time, right? that's a that's a good question. You you're I would definitely let her know you're gonna be confused for a while, but I mean i as long as you you know that like y yeah, you don't need to be ashamed of anything that's happening. 'Cause while it may not be normal in your head for right now, it'll become a normal thing and even though it not necessarily should or shouldn't be a normal thing, it's unfortunately something that's a person. Yeah, I was about to say you're gonna have to live with it regardless. Just you don't have to think about it too hard. Like I think thinking about it too hard and not thinking about what it's gonna do. P I think I would have thought about it too hard as a kid. Like I thought about it a lot and all the we're all the All the different things. You start going down the rabbit hole with WebMD back in the day where it's like, I gotta snap. I was always going at it. And I think I took I when I was I was so worried about it when I was younger and I didn't know how to I had no idea how to bring it up to mom. And I think I mean a mom eventually found out. I I don't even know how well no, I I know how she found out. It was a very crazy day that day when I woke I woke up in a a pool of my own blood. Which was insane. Like the that was that was the first like I think that was when everyone was like, Okay, this is a little bit I remember that day. I I I think even my mom was there at the time. Yeah, because I was she was sleeping in my room. Grandma was sleeping in my room. You were sleeping downstairs, right? And I think Aaron was sleeping down there too. Yeah. Aaron was still there. So we kind of had a packed house with visitors at the time too. And so And I s and I sat there for a little bit. So embarrassed. That's the stigma that I talk about. Like, because if you think of a young girl who's even mortified by having a period, right? Yeah, no. And I mean no matter how prepared you are. Yeah, well like I don't remember my first period like at all. I don't I don't remember the first time I got my period. my memory is horrible with it. But I remember that and I I remember I knew something was Yeah, I was gonna say I knew it was unusual. I knew it wasn't like there was something wrong. But I also at the time was like But is it though? Right, yeah. I I like yeah, I had no idea for sure. And so I w was I was gonna be embarrassed regardless. I we had so many there were so many people in the house that day. I was like, I what am I gonna do? And it's and it's crazy to think that far back. You know, for you it it it doesn't seem like that long ago. For me, it seems like a lifetime, but no, I remember that day well because I mean it was it was kinda mortifying. You could tell by the look on your face and your reaction. I mean run upstairs and yeah, I cried, I'm pretty sure. It was not a good it was not a good day. No, I think I don't I don't know. I think mom did something for me that day to make me feel better. But I was a I was it was a bad day. Yeah, it was I think you did give me a chocolate bar that day. But Yeah, I think even mom said she said that was probably the first time where she started thinking that something was was Yeah, no, that's my most notable like that one and the the time when I when I crawled my way to the bathroom. And that was in the same house too. So it was and that was around the same time as that. It was probably within the same week, maybe I wouldn't doubt. Probably. And that's probably why it doesn't feel like it's the same. moment, I'm I'm pretty sure that it all happened all in that week. Yeah, I was about to say it's no, I'm pretty sure. It's like, my goodness, here we go. Yeah, because that's when the pain, like that pain was I remember the pain from that was horrible. Oof. So up to now I've been asking you questions as an interviewer, and it's and while it's all well and good, you know, as as your dad, I think, you know, the question really should should be is like What did you wish that I knew earlier? Like it you say, okay, do you wish I I knew something or understood something about this whole thing earlier than I did? I mean, I think there was definitely times where I was more I think well, the whole journey with like the birth control. And everything. I was so emotional throughout that time. And I think I don't think everybody realized how emotional that stuff was making me. I think I just wished everybody around that, like I remember I remember thinking like when I was a kid, like I wish, like I just wish everybody could understand that like I'm not trying to be this emotional. Like I'm not trying to have. like be an issue emotionally or anything because I know I was definitely I was a tough nut at times when I was in middle school or that middle school, early high school period was we just chalked it up as to you're just a teenage girl going through something No, yeah. And it was it was rough. And I just I I had a I definitely had a rough time, but I think you did good. I don't think there like I think you guys did as best as you could with with what you had. And what you knew about. I mean, there wasn't I think you both were busy parents as well. I mean, you were sure you were pushing boots at that time. So you also had a full plate in terms of work. And I think mom for the most part had, her bases covered with me in that. So I I not that like not to say like I didn't like need anything from you, but I didn't expect you to like do anything extra or like take any extra steps. I think you handled everything as gracefully and willfully as possible with me. You were a good dad. I think about I think about, you know, times where, you know, it's like it was am I understanding enough or, you know, am am I asking the right questions or, Am I leaving you be when I should be? Or should am I am I pushing when I shouldn't be pushing? Or, you know, those those type of things you always think about, you know, in in hindsight and I'm sure there's times, right? I'm sure there was times where you felt like I could have been more understanding or yeah, I'm sure there's specific instigating issues, but that's just, you know, daddy daughter stuff happening from time to time. That's gonna happen, right? Yeah. so okay. I I definitely, without even asking, it can can attest to knowing that I had no idea how bad it actually was, right? Yeah. and you and you've even said that over and over again and we just talk about that in general terms because I think people, uneducated on this subject just don't have an idea. Right. No. And as a parent, it's it's super tough. I mean, I definitely felt like there was times I probably could have like sat down and asked more questions and probably, you know, been more concerned, even though I was busy and I was gone, you know, twelve, fourteen hours a day, you know, it there's still time. Right. There's always time. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. I I do I do regret at times and I think about, you know, things that I could have done differently. It's neither here nor there because it's in the past. But you know, if I could if I could go back and and do it a different way, I definitely would have been more inquisitive and and, you know, maybe not more understanding because I would allow you to help me gain that understanding if I would just ask more questions about what was going on. So Well, I mean everybody can always ask more questions. I think I I don't think anybody should sit on the questions that they don't ask, but just make sure you know to ask a question. No, of course. But I mean I I I I appreciate that you the sentiment behind wanting thinking and thinking you should have, you know, asked more questions. but I think you did real good dad Well I appreciate that. 'Cause I think it's important because Especially for dads that that have kids who are in this situation who are wondering, you know, what what is my part that I play? What do I need to do to make this easier on my child when you see them struggling so much and, you know, there's there's only so much that, we can do. We can't, stand in front of the doctor and, choke him out because he's not listening to our daughters even though we want to somehow but, you know, they're husbands, they're boyfriends, brothers and And friends that, you know, have people in their lives that deal with this all the time. And and you just gotta say, hey, you know what? Ask those questions. Yeah. find an understanding, do the research. There's so much information out there today that there wasn't before, even on this subject, but I mean in general at your fingertips, you Yeah, yeah. No, there's literally everything at your fingertips. We'll never, you know, men will never understand physically what a woman what a woman goes through you know i in in this situation or in most situations not just endometriosis in general but just you know being a woman specifically right i know we we joke about that women joke about it you know but it's a real thing right and for something like this you know it's it's like hey take the time to ask the questions and and be understanding is what I'm getting at. So you know what can we do better? You know Talk, have conversations. Don't be, you know, don't be afraid to sit down and ask some tough questions or just listen, right? Yeah. Listen and believe, right? Most mostly believe. I think the worst part about this, probably for you, besides the pain, is just being believed and having people say, okay, we're gonna go with what you're talking about because you know more about it than we do, because that's where we're at. Right. Yeah. And yeah. Unfortunately that is it with where it is at in medicine right now, that is generally the situation that we're in. unless of course that person's seeing a specialist in whatever it it is, whatever if it's an endometriosis specialist. So it really just depends. As long as yeah, and as long as the beliefs behind it, that's that's really all that, you know, as as long as the doctor's willing to listen. And and take your word for what you're saying, because that's the biggest, that's the biggest one right now, I think, for sure. And so if if you were to prioritize what you know what you feel needs to change out there for for this particular subject matter, what do you think would be at the top of the list? just research. Research. Like doctors need to go and actually do work. Yeah. Like don't just say, hey, you know what? I'm gonna wing it. Yeah. No, the all all the people that are are pushing all the research that's being pushed right now for endometriosis and to discover, you know, what causes it to spread, what causes it to adhere things to other things, or what causes it to be gone. Like what what can what can kill it or what can, you know, at least bring it down in a certain level, besides just surgery, like you know, in different treatments, different diagnosis, instead of having to wait for a surgery to be diagnosed. Like I I I wanna see research with all of that because w with one in ten I think it's deserving of that kind of research. It's just as prevalent as diabetes. That's That's the thing that I see the most common is diabetes is one in ten. And so is endometriosis. If diabetes can get some research and some treatment, then I don't understand why the research hasn't started as well or hasn't gone gotten as much funding as other things. I just think, you know, personally, my opinion is I believe that it doesn't get the attention that it deserves as Because it's not as prevalent as th those things you've already mentioned, which I think is ridiculous because, one in ten is is kind of one too many, right? yeah. You never want to ever, you know, be in a situation where you're that one. But the thing about it is, I mean, you listed a lot of the stuff that I was actually gonna ask if you thought those are priorities, which is, you know, research, the education, that sort of thing. And there are even more obscure afflictions out there in the world that you know you gotta wonder like, how are they being treated? Are they getting the research and the attention that it deserves? and then the biggest thing that is a heartburn for everybody is insurance. Yeah. And getting insurance approvals for procedures and diagnoses and you know biopsies and whatever you have to go through. yeah. On so many different levels. And not just for endometriosis, but since we're talking about that, I mean, how difficult has the insurance process been in order to be able to get something approved to move to a a step that's gonna help you? for the most part, luckily I I mean I think I've we've gotten really lucky for the most part with TRICARE. they've covered, I feel like most of our stuff. but I mean it's so it's so strange because like now my specialist that we had here, like she doesn't take TriCare anymore. So like insurance is ever changing with so many different, you know, conditions and certain things. Like there's certain treatments that aren't covered by certain things. And if you go in to have like a random check for something, it's there's potential that that's not gonna get covered for it. Like even if it's just like if you're not having any emergent situation and it's not gonna lead to somewhere else else and it's just a check, they can bill it for something that's way more than what it could be for. Right. So we're and and and what we're talking about is coding. Coding is such a ridiculous thing to even stupidest thing ever. Like we shouldn't even be having the conversation about coding different procedures for something that's important regardless You know, if it's something that afflicts, one in ten people or eight out of ten people, it should get the same quality the same equity of care that anything else does, right? Yeah, exactly. So yes. what do you wish somebody had told you about if you think about it now, I mean, obviously you had to do all the work yourself between you and mom mostly, you know, trying to figure it out up to this point. But if you had somebody like that that maybe you knew that could mentor you in a way to help you through the struggle, like what what would you hope that they would teach you? I th that's a good question. I think the the biggest thing I think right now would probably be well not just right now, but like in general would probably be like when when you when we When I first had my first surgery, when I had that first surgery, I didn't know that there was like a a golden standard surgery. So when I got that first surgery, I don't even know if you know this, it was ablation. So it's which is when they burned I know yeah, definitely that it's been offered to me, but yeah, go ahead. Yeah. It's it's when you burn the tissues. It's not fun. No, it's it's it's horrible. Right. It was painful. I mean, like I did that surgery. I would when I recovered from that surgery, it was horrible. But that's what I had done. and that's not what you're generally supposed to do for now. Granted, I I I loved the doctor that I had down there. but she clearly yeah. I was about to say, but she clearly also wasn't as educated as some other doctors who know that, you know, when A, when you do that, A it makes like like it. kind of ruins fertility in a way. So I that's something I learned. It's very, very, very bad for the lining of the uterus and everything. So it makes it usually people who have ablation done to the uterus end up having a harder time conceiving. That's why they usually I think when I read about it, I think it said it's usually done after somebody's already conceived. but and then like I I wish somebody had told me at that point, or it's somebody had told her even that that's not what she should have been doing and she should have been doing excision, which is what my second surgery was. now granted that one was way more painful because they're pulling it out from like the they they excise it. So it's it's pulled out from however deep it is. So if I had, which I did, I had deep infiltrating endometriosis in certain areas of the uterus. So it's pulled out from where however far down it goes in. So like if it's, you know, if my uterus is however, you know, thick and it goes all the way down to the bottom of the the skin of it, it's gonna they pull it all the way from the end. Good grief. Yeah. and And that's that's the standard of care because it removes the the whole root of it rather than just the top half of it, you know, the top layer of it is basically what ablation does. So you're not mowing the grass, you're digging up your turf. Yeah, you're digging up yeah, you're digging up the turf. So and I I didn't I didn't know that when I was I I mean I got it done at 18. I was I was 18. Mom didn't know at that time. We both didn't know that that was what was supposed to be done. We just knew that I was getting some sort of treatment for the pain and issues that I had been having and it was the next best thing for my relief. And I d I don't even know like at that point that we even knew about half the crap that we know about. Well you had high praise though for the Starkville doctors. I love her. She was still I I love her. I bet you she knows a lot more now than she did before. And I bet you she probably doesn't do the ablation anymore, and she probably only does excision if she does it. if not, then she probably hands the cases off now. But either way, I'm still grateful for the treatment that she gave me, whether or not it was the standard of care. Right. And that at that time or not. Well, because it still helped my symptoms. It's just, I mean, granted, I'm I don't know what the repercussions of her doing that had on my body necessarily to s so to speak. But I mean, I would hope nothing crazy. But you know, I mean, you don't know until you don't know until it happens. So but I I still Pride her as a great doctor. She was an amazing doctor. She was extremely kind. She was a very good listener. She did her best to try and figure out what that what it was. She was the one who pushed for the surgery and everything and let me know, like, this is what we should do. I think you have this. And lo and behold, what did I have? Right. And that's good. And for all you doctors out there listening, right? Take notice because there are doctors out there who pay attention, who listen, who believe. If you made this far, I'm gonna ask you to do something little different today. So, yeah, sure, you can like the video, you can subscribe, you can follow the show, whatever. But that's not what we're here for. I appreciate every single person who does, of course. But that's not the most important thing I'm asking you to do with this episode. I need you to share it. Send it to somebody who needs to hear the conversation. maybe it's someone Dealing with unexplained pain, you have no idea what to do about it or where it's coming from and why. Maybe it's a father who doesn't quite understand what his daughter is going through. Maybe it's a husband or a boyfriend, brother, friend, or a coworker, or maybe it's someone who's been dealing with endometriosis for years and just simply doesn't know that somebody else understands. and if you live with endometriosis and you're comfortable doing it, tell us your story in the comments. How long did it take you to get diagnosed? What do you wish people understood? Because the more people talk about this, the harder it becomes for this disease to remain invisible. Before we wrap this up, thank you. I'm I'm super proud that you were able to share your story. I think it's important for young women out there who probably don't know what they're dealing with at this very moment. to maybe get a better understanding if they get a chance to watch this video. hopefully this gets shared enough to where we can create this this call to action, right? To get more doctors out there, the education that they need to understand how to work with somebody instead of, looking at something in black and white. And and I don't know this 'cause I'm not a doctor and I'm not trying to say that I am, but I But I will say that, a as a patient who has been treated by one and as a family member who's had, somebody in their life that's had a difficult struggle trying to get treatment, I can tell you that it's it's something that we need to put out there into the world. so I'm super proud of you for for coming and doing this and hopefully we can get a good push. To get this out into the world and get more people educated. I know there's a lot of content on it. but you know, the more we get out there, I think the more people are going to kind of gravitate sort of like and ask the right questions. Yeah, no, I agree. You know, if I can get one dad out there or one brother, one boyfriend, you know, or even one doctor, more importantly, yeah to say, Hey, you know what, maybe I need to think twice about how I'm treating this person. whether it be as a doctor patient or as as a brother to a sister or a husband to a wife, just have the understanding of what they're going through. Believe them when they tell you what they're going through. Yeah. And help them out the best they can because that is the best support that you can give. This has been Average Joe, let's talk about it. Usually around here we're talking about the things that raised us, made us laugh, and made us who we are. but every once in a while, we need to talk about something simply because not enough people are talking about it. This was one of those conversations. Listen to the people you love. Believe them when they tell you something is wrong. And sometimes Just being willing to understand Is a pretty damn good place to start. I'll see you next time.