WEBVTT
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Have you checked it out yet? Arrow.net. A-R-R-O-E.net. Net as
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in network. It's 21 different podcasts. A podcast network. One
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of the biggest shows is Vocal Defrag. We've stopped asking
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ourselves the questions. And we put so much pressure on
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those around us that they have no answers. And yet
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we keep trying to march forward. Vocal defrank. Ask yourself
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the questions and then question the answers. You're the only
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one that's wearing your pair of tennis shoes. It's only
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on arrow.net. A-R-R-O-E dot net. Enjoy your exploration.
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Hi, Arrow.
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How are you doing today, Doctor?
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I'm very well. How are you?
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Very excited to share a conversation with you because Roblox
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has been taking a big hit lately from parents and
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things who I still don't believe understand what the real
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connection is here. But you're here to help save us
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when it comes to that screen time and to give
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everybody an opportunity to find some peace of mind while
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still being entertained.
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I'll help where I can.
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What is that disconnection? Is it because we see somebody
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that's on a screen, we automatically think, oh, my God,
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they're on a screen. They should be doing something productive.
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When in reality, doesn't Roblox really give people the opportunity
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to be constructive inside their imaginations?
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Well, I think that I do think that Roblox is
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one of many platforms that people just don't necessarily understand
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because we just it's new and it's something that we
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need to.
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Know more about.
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I mean, it's just one of those things that I
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see them because I work for a grocery store. I
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see them come in and get the cards. So I
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know how many of these cards that we're selling. And
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I also see the grandparents and more than the parents
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are buying the card for the kids. That's the reason
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why I think it's so important when you talk about
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summer to school resetting. I think that is so important
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to everybody who's involved here.
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Yes, and I am a grandparent. And so you're speaking
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my love language. You're absolutely correct.
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I mean, because I don't want to take anything away
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from the kids, but at the same time, I truly
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understand how much time I put on that screen. I
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don't want someone to go through my addiction.
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Well, I think that part of the solution is that
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we as adults need to be where our kids are.
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And so we need to, adults, be in the game.
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We need to be.
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Immersed and we need to ask questions, which is a process.
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summer to the.
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School time as a reset.
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This is a perfect opportunity for us to establish a
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wonderful routine for new school year, new school supplies, new
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online opportunities for new routines with gaming, new routines with online.
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So as we establish new routines, new morning routines, let's
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take the time to establish new online routines for our
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digital reset.
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For our kids.
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So let's tell our kids, hey, we're not going to
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be online during these hours.
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We're not going to pick up a computer. We're not
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going to be on games.
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We're going to establish a new digital routine for this
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school year. And that includes what time we're going to
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be online, when we're going to be online, and what
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we're going to be online, what platforms we're going to
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be on.
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I want young adults to understand that it's not just
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them that's being watched on this or going through these
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same disciplines and accountability. Because even myself, I will not
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go anywhere near the email until my work is done.
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Then I can go into it, but then I can't
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stay there all day. So, I mean, I'm going through
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the same thing they're going through. It's just that they're
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a little bit younger than I am. That's true.
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And I'm probably a lot older than you, Aero, but
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I have to establish patterns myself because I have to
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set a timer. How many of us as adults have
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intended to get online and post one thing, and then
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we've been online, we find out for 30 minutes because
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we've gotten down a rabbit hole?
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It's normal.
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It happens to the best of us, and it happens
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to the.
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Youngest of us as well. So what we have to
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do as.
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Adults and parents is establish those guardrails for our kids
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because they are going to have much more difficult times
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than we do as adults and we know better and
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they sometimes don't know better.
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So we have to use the guard rules in place.
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Sleep timers or even establishing an online timer just to
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put those guard rules in place so that our kids
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have established routines and guard rules. It's difficult for us
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equally if not more difficult for them.
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Now, do you think that's one of the things that
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we need to do is get them engaged in this?
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In other words, helping them understand why they need to
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develop self-regulations. I mean, because I could be the evil
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grandfather and say, oh, my God, you're on that thing. Oh,
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my God. Because I know how my real father would do.
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My father would just go crazy over the FaceTime. But
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I mean, I want to be the one that's going
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to develop with them and make it more of a
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togetherness thing rather than you're being forced to do this.
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I do think we need to do that with them
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because as you remember, when we were younger, if you
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were told not to do something, that.
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Almost made you want to do it even more. I did.
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So we need to talk about why we're saying.
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This, explain to them that these are the guardrails, why
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these are the guardrails, make it age appropriate, but then
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also give them a little bit of the.
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And maybe give them a little bit of.
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A leeway or some rewards if they accomplish the goal.
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But don't make it too rigid. Make it age appropriate.
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But the goal is, the rule is still the rule.
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But also, we have to have We have to have consequences,
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and they have to know that they exist because we
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are trying to protect them. Another point that's very relevant
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is be where your kids are.
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Be in the games.
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Be in the platforms. We have to have.
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Parents be there.
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Please do not move. There's more with Dr. Elizabeth coming
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up next. Kids and screen time. How about adults and
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screen time as well? We are back with Dr. Elizabeth.
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What about these streaming music outfits? I mean, is that
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one of the same thing? Because I'm seeing a lot
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of young people with those earbuds in and they're jamming
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out to their favorite songs. And I don't know what
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they're listening to, but I do when I'm a DJ
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at a local elementary school or a middle school, I
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know what they're listening to. Does that involve this as
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well to get that under control?
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Well, I think, again, all types of platforms, no matter
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if it's gaming or music or educational, parents need to
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be wherever their kids are.
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It doesn't matter the platform at all.
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Could be turned into something that we don't intend it
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to be. And so I think that it would really
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be beneficial for parents to be wherever our kids are
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and just have your kids, no matter the age, but
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particularly the younger and the more teenage age, have them
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teach you what they're looking at, where they are building
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and then have them show you their friends have them
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teach it.
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To you.
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Figure out where they are, but act like you don't know,
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even if you do know, so that they can teach
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you where they're going. And then that way you find
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out a little information.
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They think that they're teaching you. They think that they're
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the expert, but then also you get a chance.
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To see where they're going. And then that way you'll.
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Find out if it's a good thing or a bad thing,
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but then you'll know.
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And that will help the parents figure out if it's
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nefarious or if it's something that is really just harmless.
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But do it often. Don't just do it one time.
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That's right. Do it multiple times. Do it every month.
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You have a check-in.
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And then don't do it at the same time during
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the month.
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Our kids are savvy. Our kids are really good. Yes,
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they are.
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You've got to figure it out. If it's the first
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of the month for one or two months, then o'clock
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in the morning, do it at 2. And, you know,
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just say, hey, I want to play.
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I want to see what games you're doing.
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Make it spontaneous. Even if we have to set a timer,
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don't let them know what it is. But we have
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to really be where they are at all times because
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the world is different than it was back in the
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70s when I grew up.
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You know what? It's interesting you bring that up because
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I'd be interested to find out when their screen time
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actually starts because I know that I, to this day,
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at 64... that I still have those moments at 3.30
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in the afternoon when school was letting out, that at 64,
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I feel like, oh my God, where'd my energy go?
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This is what I felt like at 3.30 in the
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afternoon in the 7th grade versus the 12th grade. I mean,
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and I wonder if that's not one of their instigators
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or one of their lift-me-ups when it comes to, you know,
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this is when school gets out, I'm on that screen.
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Yeah, that's true.
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And, you know, a lot of states have made it
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so that there's no screen time during the day. Yeah.
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when they're on their phone during the day there's technology
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that we don't even think about as parents that we
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should that will tell us how much screen time their
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kids are using during different apps we just don't even
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think about it because we don't even think to to
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look for that but that's already there there's guardrails in
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place we just don't think about it as parents it
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will tell you how much time you spent on certain
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apps it almost tells you what time of day you
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were on it but it tells you how long you
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were on Facebook, how long you were on Roblox, how
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long you.
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Were on certain apps.
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We need to use those things because it's giving us
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the information that we need.
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And I'm not picking on grandparents here because I am one.
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But the thing is, though, this is the coolest time
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ever in the history of this nation that grandparents are
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the coolest people. And we get to do things with
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our grandkids. I just want to make sure that they
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can pick the restaurant, but you're going to leave that
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smartphone in the car. You're not bringing it in. And
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I think that we need to just have more grandma
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and grandpas to say, hey, look, this is going to
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be just like your mom and dad. You're not going
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to bring the smartphone to dinner.
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You know what, Errol?
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I'm a grandma, too.
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And I think I'm actually a pretty cool grandma. But
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I have a rule at Mimi's house. There's no TV
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at the table at Mimi's house. And my grandkids, they
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actually they kind of they had some problems with that.
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But I looked up one day and each of them,
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there's three granddaughters. Each of them had a tablet at
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the table and the TV was on because I was
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watching the TV.
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And each of them had a tablet with something different on.
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And I was just like, no, we're not doing that.
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So now they say no tablet at the table at
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Mimi's house. They don't even bring it to the dinner table.
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So their parents, no, no tablet at the table at
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Mimi's house. And that's the rule. And so we don't
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even have a problem with it anymore. So I think
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that's what we need to do instead. establish routines, rules,
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and then they just have to follow it.
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This is Mimi's house.
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Where can people go to find out more about you, doctor?
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Because I love the language that you're speaking and I
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love where you're putting your energy when it comes to
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keeping families in tune.
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Well, I actually am just on Facebook right now. So
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it's Kareem Moncrief Moffitt, PhD on Facebook.
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And that's just where I am.
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I love it. Please come back to this show anytime
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in the future because what we're talking about is an
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everyday thing. It's not like a beginning part of the
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school year thing. We need to be doing this throughout
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the entire year just to serve as that little reminder.
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Absolutely.
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Thanks for having me, Errol.
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I appreciate you.
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Well, you be brilliant today, doctor. Thank you.
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You too.
1
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Have you checked it out yet? Arrow.net. A-R-R-O-E.net. Net as
2
00:00:04.860 --> 00:00:09.839
in network. It's 21 different podcasts. A podcast network. One
3
00:00:09.859 --> 00:00:13.980
of the biggest shows is Vocal Defrag. We've stopped asking
4
00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:17.760
ourselves the questions. And we put so much pressure on
5
00:00:17.820 --> 00:00:20.460
those around us that they have no answers. And yet
6
00:00:20.480 --> 00:00:26.070
we keep trying to march forward. Vocal defrank. Ask yourself
7
00:00:26.129 --> 00:00:29.870
the questions and then question the answers. You're the only
8
00:00:29.969 --> 00:00:32.829
one that's wearing your pair of tennis shoes. It's only
9
00:00:32.929 --> 00:00:38.229
on arrow.net. A-R-R-O-E dot net. Enjoy your exploration.
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00:00:38.630 --> 00:00:39.210
Hi, Arrow.
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How are you doing today, Doctor?
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I'm very well. How are you?
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Very excited to share a conversation with you because Roblox
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has been taking a big hit lately from parents and
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things who I still don't believe understand what the real
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connection is here. But you're here to help save us
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when it comes to that screen time and to give
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everybody an opportunity to find some peace of mind while
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still being entertained.
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I'll help where I can.
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What is that disconnection? Is it because we see somebody
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that's on a screen, we automatically think, oh, my God,
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they're on a screen. They should be doing something productive.
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When in reality, doesn't Roblox really give people the opportunity
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to be constructive inside their imaginations?
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Well, I think that I do think that Roblox is
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one of many platforms that people just don't necessarily understand
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because we just it's new and it's something that we
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need to.
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Know more about.
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I mean, it's just one of those things that I
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see them because I work for a grocery store. I
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see them come in and get the cards. So I
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know how many of these cards that we're selling. And
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I also see the grandparents and more than the parents
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are buying the card for the kids. That's the reason
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why I think it's so important when you talk about
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summer to school resetting. I think that is so important
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to everybody who's involved here.
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Yes, and I am a grandparent. And so you're speaking
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my love language. You're absolutely correct.
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I mean, because I don't want to take anything away
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from the kids, but at the same time, I truly
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understand how much time I put on that screen. I
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don't want someone to go through my addiction.
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Well, I think that part of the solution is that
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we as adults need to be where our kids are.
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And so we need to, adults, be in the game.
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We need to be.
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Immersed and we need to ask questions, which is a process.
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summer to the.
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School time as a reset.
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This is a perfect opportunity for us to establish a
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wonderful routine for new school year, new school supplies, new
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online opportunities for new routines with gaming, new routines with online.
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So as we establish new routines, new morning routines, let's
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take the time to establish new online routines for our
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digital reset.
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For our kids.
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So let's tell our kids, hey, we're not going to
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be online during these hours.
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We're not going to pick up a computer. We're not
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going to be on games.
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We're going to establish a new digital routine for this
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school year. And that includes what time we're going to
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be online, when we're going to be online, and what
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we're going to be online, what platforms we're going to
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be on.
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I want young adults to understand that it's not just
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them that's being watched on this or going through these
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same disciplines and accountability. Because even myself, I will not
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go anywhere near the email until my work is done.
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Then I can go into it, but then I can't
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stay there all day. So, I mean, I'm going through
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the same thing they're going through. It's just that they're
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a little bit younger than I am. That's true.
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And I'm probably a lot older than you, Aero, but
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I have to establish patterns myself because I have to
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set a timer. How many of us as adults have
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intended to get online and post one thing, and then
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we've been online, we find out for 30 minutes because
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we've gotten down a rabbit hole?
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It's normal.
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It happens to the best of us, and it happens
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to the.
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Youngest of us as well. So what we have to
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do as.
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Adults and parents is establish those guardrails for our kids
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because they are going to have much more difficult times
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than we do as adults and we know better and
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they sometimes don't know better.
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So we have to use the guard rules in place.
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Sleep timers or even establishing an online timer just to
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put those guard rules in place so that our kids
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have established routines and guard rules. It's difficult for us
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equally if not more difficult for them.
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Now, do you think that's one of the things that
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we need to do is get them engaged in this?
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In other words, helping them understand why they need to
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develop self-regulations. I mean, because I could be the evil
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grandfather and say, oh, my God, you're on that thing. Oh,
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my God. Because I know how my real father would do.
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My father would just go crazy over the FaceTime. But
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I mean, I want to be the one that's going
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to develop with them and make it more of a
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togetherness thing rather than you're being forced to do this.
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I do think we need to do that with them
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because as you remember, when we were younger, if you
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were told not to do something, that.
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Almost made you want to do it even more. I did.
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So we need to talk about why we're saying.
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This, explain to them that these are the guardrails, why
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these are the guardrails, make it age appropriate, but then
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also give them a little bit of the.
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And maybe give them a little bit of.
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A leeway or some rewards if they accomplish the goal.
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But don't make it too rigid. Make it age appropriate.
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But the goal is, the rule is still the rule.
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But also, we have to have We have to have consequences,
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and they have to know that they exist because we
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are trying to protect them. Another point that's very relevant
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is be where your kids are.
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Be in the games.
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Be in the platforms. We have to have.
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Parents be there.
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Please do not move. There's more with Dr. Elizabeth coming
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up next. Kids and screen time. How about adults and
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screen time as well? We are back with Dr. Elizabeth.
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What about these streaming music outfits? I mean, is that
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one of the same thing? Because I'm seeing a lot
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of young people with those earbuds in and they're jamming
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out to their favorite songs. And I don't know what
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they're listening to, but I do when I'm a DJ
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at a local elementary school or a middle school, I
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know what they're listening to. Does that involve this as
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well to get that under control?
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Well, I think, again, all types of platforms, no matter
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if it's gaming or music or educational, parents need to
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be wherever their kids are.
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It doesn't matter the platform at all.
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Could be turned into something that we don't intend it
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to be. And so I think that it would really
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be beneficial for parents to be wherever our kids are
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and just have your kids, no matter the age, but
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particularly the younger and the more teenage age, have them
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teach you what they're looking at, where they are building
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and then have them show you their friends have them
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teach it.
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To you.
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Figure out where they are, but act like you don't know,
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even if you do know, so that they can teach
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you where they're going. And then that way you find
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out a little information.
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They think that they're teaching you. They think that they're
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the expert, but then also you get a chance.
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To see where they're going. And then that way you'll.
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Find out if it's a good thing or a bad thing,
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but then you'll know.
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And that will help the parents figure out if it's
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nefarious or if it's something that is really just harmless.
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But do it often. Don't just do it one time.
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That's right. Do it multiple times. Do it every month.
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You have a check-in.
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And then don't do it at the same time during
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the month.
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Our kids are savvy. Our kids are really good. Yes,
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they are.
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You've got to figure it out. If it's the first
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of the month for one or two months, then o'clock
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in the morning, do it at 2. And, you know,
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just say, hey, I want to play.
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I want to see what games you're doing.
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Make it spontaneous. Even if we have to set a timer,
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don't let them know what it is. But we have
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to really be where they are at all times because
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the world is different than it was back in the
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70s when I grew up.
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You know what? It's interesting you bring that up because
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I'd be interested to find out when their screen time
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actually starts because I know that I, to this day,
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at 64... that I still have those moments at 3.30
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in the afternoon when school was letting out, that at 64,
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I feel like, oh my God, where'd my energy go?
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This is what I felt like at 3.30 in the
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afternoon in the 7th grade versus the 12th grade. I mean,
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and I wonder if that's not one of their instigators
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or one of their lift-me-ups when it comes to, you know,
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this is when school gets out, I'm on that screen.
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Yeah, that's true.
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And, you know, a lot of states have made it
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so that there's no screen time during the day. Yeah.
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when they're on their phone during the day there's technology
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that we don't even think about as parents that we
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should that will tell us how much screen time their
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kids are using during different apps we just don't even
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think about it because we don't even think to to
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look for that but that's already there there's guardrails in
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place we just don't think about it as parents it
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will tell you how much time you spent on certain
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apps it almost tells you what time of day you
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were on it but it tells you how long you
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were on Facebook, how long you were on Roblox, how
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long you.
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Were on certain apps.
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We need to use those things because it's giving us
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the information that we need.
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And I'm not picking on grandparents here because I am one.
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But the thing is, though, this is the coolest time
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ever in the history of this nation that grandparents are
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the coolest people. And we get to do things with
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our grandkids. I just want to make sure that they
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can pick the restaurant, but you're going to leave that
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smartphone in the car. You're not bringing it in. And
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I think that we need to just have more grandma
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and grandpas to say, hey, look, this is going to
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be just like your mom and dad. You're not going
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to bring the smartphone to dinner.
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You know what, Errol?
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I'm a grandma, too.
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And I think I'm actually a pretty cool grandma. But
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I have a rule at Mimi's house. There's no TV
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at the table at Mimi's house. And my grandkids, they
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actually they kind of they had some problems with that.
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But I looked up one day and each of them,
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there's three granddaughters. Each of them had a tablet at
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the table and the TV was on because I was
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watching the TV.
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And each of them had a tablet with something different on.
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And I was just like, no, we're not doing that.
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So now they say no tablet at the table at
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Mimi's house. They don't even bring it to the dinner table.
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So their parents, no, no tablet at the table at
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Mimi's house. And that's the rule. And so we don't
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even have a problem with it anymore. So I think
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that's what we need to do instead. establish routines, rules,
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and then they just have to follow it.
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This is Mimi's house.
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Where can people go to find out more about you, doctor?
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Because I love the language that you're speaking and I
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love where you're putting your energy when it comes to
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keeping families in tune.
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Well, I actually am just on Facebook right now. So
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it's Kareem Moncrief Moffitt, PhD on Facebook.
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And that's just where I am.
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I love it. Please come back to this show anytime
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in the future because what we're talking about is an
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everyday thing. It's not like a beginning part of the
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school year thing. We need to be doing this throughout
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the entire year just to serve as that little reminder.
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Absolutely.
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Thanks for having me, Errol.
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I appreciate you.
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Well, you be brilliant today, doctor. Thank you.
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You too.
