Bai Ling + Zane Buzby (Carolla Classics)

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Welcome to Corolla Classics, I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This
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is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights,
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and fan-selected clips from all 16 years of The Adam
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Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics,
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which you can find exclusively through PodcastOne.plus, the entire ad-free archive,
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every single episode. And if you like the ad-free archives
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of The Adam Corolla Show, or The Adam and Dr.
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Drew Show, or you just want exclusive access to the
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brand new podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check
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out Adam Corolla's Substack, adamcorolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to
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request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com.
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Now on to the clips.
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Coming up first today, we have Adam Kirill, show 672,
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Adam and Bai Ling, one-on-one. It's an insane episode from 2011.
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Hope you guys enjoy. Term.
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All right, Bai Ling.
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You know what? I remember you.
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Oh, really?
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I remember your orange bright chair, sofa, I'm sitting on,
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and bright color, and you have, I always remember you're
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very smart.
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Oh, you do?
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And very funny and very free. And I remember the
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train you asked me last time, if I remember somehow.
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I was taking a train.
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Yeah.
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Well, last time I saw you, I don't think you
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were sober.
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Yeah, maybe. Did I remember right, everything?
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You seem pretty lucid, but I thought you were nutty.
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But some people are just nutty. Right. You don't know
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if they're high nutty or nutty nutty. There's a couple
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different kinds. You may have been, see, I always thought
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you were just, and you are a free spirit, and
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I always thought you were just way out there, but
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I never thought drugs.
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I don't know why. I think it's an Asian stereotype.
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Yes.
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When you see a white dude or a black dude
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or a Mexican dude who's nutty, you go, drugs.
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But when you see an Asian who's nutty, you go,
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that chick's nutty. See what I'm saying?
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Yeah.
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It's a good thing. So sober now.
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Yes, I'm sober.
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I'm trying to think of when you finished with Dr.
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Drew and Celebrity Rehab. What's it been?
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I think it's been probably like almost half a year,
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six months.
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And what was your drug of choice?
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Actually, when I came to the United States, because in
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Asia I don't know where to get drugs. Probably I
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never really encountered drugs, but I come to this country.
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I tried everything because I don't really understand, and people
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just give to me. And I feel, you know, when
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you're young, you're in a new country, you try everything.
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Sure.
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But I did not know. I knew I was allergic
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to alcohol. I'm very sensitive to all the drugs.
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It's an Asian enzyme thing Dr. Drew used to tell
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me about.
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Really?
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Yeah.
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Your friends?
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It's built in. With Dr.
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Drew? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we say hi.
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Yeah, we worked together for 11 years.
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Okay.
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He never brought me up to you?
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So you were his patient ever?
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No, we did a radio show.
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I see.
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He was my patient.
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I see.
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I turned him into the a-hole you see before you. Yeah,
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now you see, that's an old picture.
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Where was that?
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Oh. Breakfast? It seems like we're at breakfast because there's
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a coffee mug there, but we don't sign that many
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autographs at breakfast. I think it must have been at
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one of the colleges we were at. And I can
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tell because I'm wearing a watch. And I don't wear
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a watch, but I do wear a watch on stage.
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So I know when we get to 90 minutes and
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I know it's time to wrap it up and leave.
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So I'm guessing that's me and Dr. Drew back in
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the day at some college somewhere signing autographs after a show.
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So, yeah, me and Drew go way back.
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What I noticed is two handsome men there.
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Oh, thank you.
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It's true.
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Thank you. I like that.
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You like the round eyes, as we call ourselves?
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Well, I don't really... Yeah, I see your eyes now.
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It's very shiny in the light. But I think you're
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a sensitive guy. Yes. And I don't know. Do you
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do drugs and alcohol? Yes.
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Well, I do alcohol. How much?
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I was thinking about this the other day because I
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was doing a few medical procedures yesterday.
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Had to get my knee operated on, as you can see.
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What happened?
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Just getting old, skipping rope, you know, twisted something.
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Nothing big. Point is, is they do the thing where
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they go, do you drink? And then you realize, you go, yeah.
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I hope you're not drinking and driving.
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No, rarely. And then I go, they go, how often?
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And you go, let's see, what day is it? Tuesday?
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Wednesday?
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Every day. And then you realize I.
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Rarely take a day off, but sometimes I end up
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drinking two times a day. And then it sounds like,
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Jesus Christ, you drink a lot. But I don't drink. Like,
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I'll put it to you this way. The whole time
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I did Loveline with Dr. Drew, the show was on
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10 to midnight. And I would get home at 1230
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in the evening every single night. And I would never
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touch a drop of alcohol before midnight.
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12.30 in the evening.
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And then after 12.30, I would drink a couple glasses
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of wine.
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And when I say couple, I mean two, three, sometimes four.
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Just before you go to sleep?
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Yeah, but it would never be before. So never be
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like me standing around drunk at noon kind of a thing. Although,
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you know, if you want to go to Vegas after
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the show, I will crack a cold one when we
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get poolside. No doubt about that. So I would say
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for me, I like alcohol. And I do not want
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to ruin my relationship with alcohol by straining it too much.
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I don't want to go nutty and climb up on
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the roof of the rehab center or do anything like that.
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So I keep it to a sort of a, I
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don't call it a minimum, but I keep a hold
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over it so it doesn't take a hold over me
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because I don't want to quit.
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Mm-hmm.
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You're smart.
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It's sort of like a guy. I don't know what
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it is.
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You're like trying to find in the middle way that
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make yourself comfortable. You are not going any way extreme.
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Well, let's just say you loved cheesecake.
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I do.
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Who doesn't?
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I'd like to find the asshole that doesn't like cheesecake
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and beat the shit out of him.
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I love cheesecake.
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I'll look if you want to help me look after
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the show.
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Sure.
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You and I just wandering through the streets.
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Go for it. Cheesecake.
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You like cheesecake?
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Yeah, fine.
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Okay, moving on.
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Moving on.
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Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Get back here.
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You know anyone who doesn't like cheesecake? And then the
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guy would be like, not off the top of my,
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and then I backhand him. And you scream, don't lie
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to me, bitch.
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Okay.
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Let's do that.
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You want to try that?
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Sure.
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Want to try a little role playing?
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Don't lie to the bitch.
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No.
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You know, maybe I'll handle the dialogue, but you beat
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my muscle. You know, I'll say, I'll say. So I
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grab the guy by the collar and I go, do
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you know anyone who likes, do you know anyone who
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doesn't like cheesecake?
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And he goes, no, everyone I know likes cheesecake. And
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you chime in.
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What should I do?
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I'm pointing at you. Don't lie to me, bitch. I
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write when I point, that's what you say. But you
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say with a lot of authority. You're an actress.
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Yeah, I say that already.
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No, no, but you, come on. You're just going through
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the sides.
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I'm not comfortable with the word bitch.
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You don't like it?
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I think it's kind of mean to women.
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Disrespectful.
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No, this is a dude.
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Oh, it's a dude.
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Yeah.
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Dude you call bitch?
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See, that's why.
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Is he gay or something?
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I'm not sure. Okay. All right.
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You ready?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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No, I'm not ready.
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All right.
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Should I play along with you?
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Play along.
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Find your place.
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Have you found it?
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Have you gotten to that space yet? You're a great actress.
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I know.
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I've seen you in many movies.
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You know that.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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So when I cue you.
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I'm not sure I'm in the game with you.
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All right.
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How about don't lie to me, dude?
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Don't lie to me, dude? Okay.
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Or how about, dude, don't lie to me.
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All right.
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I'm ready.
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You ready? I'll cue you, though.
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All right.
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Do you know anyone who doesn't like cheesecake?
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No.
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No, I don't.
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Dude, don't lie to me.
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Oh, see, that's good because it's quiet and more menacing. See,
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I go over the top, but you're right. That's a quieter.
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That's someone who's packing heat. You know what I mean?
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Yeah, I can't be the same as you.
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You're a guy. No, I like that. It's a good,
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you know what? You made a good choice.
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Thank you.
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They call that.
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All right, Biling, I should tell people that Biling.
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Has a song out. She has a single out. It's
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called Rehab. It's available on iTunes as we speak. It's
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a song about people having fun when they're sober and
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not intoxicated. And have you found yourself having fun since
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you've been sober?
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Yeah. Can I tell you a little bit about my
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history with alcohol then?
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I would love to hear about it.
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Actually, I encountered with alcohol when I was really young,
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like five. So my father drank a little bit.
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Oh, really?
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Almost every day before dinner, have alcohol. Like Chinese wine
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is like 40, 60% of alcohol.
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So it's strong.
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Very strong. But he'll use the chopstick to dip it
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and let me test it. But I am extremely allergic
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to the chemistry in alcohol.
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So.
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my face immediately become red. Not my face, my whole body.
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That's what Drew tells me all the time. Not about you,
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just about Asian enzyme alcohol.
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So at that time, I was in school. I was
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very skinny and very pale. And all the girls have
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red cheeks. I was always envious of them. They looked
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so pretty. So when I drink, when I have a
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little alcohol, I look like that.
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You get flush.
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Yeah, I was like, wow, this is amazing. So I
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started to like alcohol, which can somehow twist me in
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a way that I wanted to... how do you say,
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it's like a fantasy world of me or make me
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feel differently because I'm kind of a high, then I
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feel things are more happier colors more brighter to me
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so then when I was in the army in the
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People's Liberation Army in Tibet that's 14 we drink same
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here we just drink like bottom up like with the
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soldiers but I cannot tell you but we had to
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like the dinner only few women with a lot of
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leaders we just drink.
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00:10:17.809 --> 00:10:20.730
Well how did you get into the army First of all.
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You'll be surprised. I was really, really attracted to the uniform.
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I think as a female wearing that uniform, how cool
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is that?
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Sure.
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So just like basically innocence of... That's where probably I
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developed my style by something like I picture myself in it.
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It's almost like I... Myself, my little toy, I'm playing
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with it.
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Do you guys have good uniforms? I mean, no offense,
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but Chinese... uniforms have several.
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Well it's nice compared to to a lot of uh
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the things we can buy from the store this is
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stand out like something.
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Unique i'm just saying you're no nazi nazis had real
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nice oh wait a minute i'm looking.
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At a picture there that's almost like a flyington it's
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not really a uniform.
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That looks nice yeah all right you know it takes
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a big man to admit when it's wrong and i'm
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gonna get dawson to come in here and do that
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in just a couple of few minutes So you go
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to— Anyway.
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So I discovered, but it always gave me courage to
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obey or to do things that I would— I' m very sensitive.
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My senses would not judge it because I'm an influence
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of alcohol. But I always in that state of mind
299
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that I— basically in the celebrity rehab, I review that part
300
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of experience or this wounded child.
301
00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:36.100
I saw that part. Well, you say or seem to
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intimate that you were sexually abused by the older generals
303
00:11:41.159 --> 00:11:44.519
and older higher ranking officers when you were a young girl,
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at least inappropriately touched, inappropriately dealt with, not in a
305
00:11:50.309 --> 00:11:51.289
professional manner.
306
00:11:51.610 --> 00:11:53.990
Yeah, that's something I want to, you know, because where
307
00:11:54.029 --> 00:11:56.570
I stand, where I came from, it's very, I have
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to make it very clear because I came from China.
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That's the country, the culture that I love. I grew
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up with whatever the beauty I have. I inherited from culture.
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That's something from my land. So I don't want anything,
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like a lot of the press come out, I don't
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want anything offended my government. I am aiming it. It's
314
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just not blaming. I'm not blaming to anybody or even myself.
315
00:12:19.529 --> 00:12:22.409
It's to the man, individual man, not the government, not
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the army.
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Well, no, I mean, it's the same thing we have.
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Here, to a certain degree, where rapists are rapists, and
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pedophiles are pedophiles, and they get thrown in prison. But
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you should not go to Universal Studios because some guy
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got thrown in prison for rape 20 years ago. In
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every society, there's going to be a degree of that.
323
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But this was the military, which is a little bit different.
324
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Yeah, but at that time, to me, military is all
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about men. It's men. So what I... basically what I
326
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learned myself, it's, I don't know, I'm kind of lost.
327
00:13:03.019 --> 00:13:03.639
Is it strange?
328
00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:06.519
No. It feels weird to me too, but I like it.
329
00:13:06.539 --> 00:13:07.299
It feels good.
330
00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:10.519
You know, anyway, so what I learned is like that
331
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part of my life always shadows me and I don't know,
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probably a lot of time I use alcohol to cover myself,
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to cover that painful memory of secret I always hold
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within me.
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Sure.
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I was never daring to share to be honest or
337
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to have the courage to share with people. Until I
338
00:13:26.539 --> 00:13:29.320
come to the service rehab, which what I learned is
339
00:13:29.399 --> 00:13:33.320
so powerful to admit it, your faults and your innocence
340
00:13:33.340 --> 00:13:36.799
you don't know, to admit it, that little child in
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you that was abused and was hurt and suffered. But
342
00:13:40.809 --> 00:13:43.610
what I learned is like to, it's okay to fall.
343
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And also it's okay to get up and to challenge yourself,
344
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to admit it and to move forward and still be
345
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so proud of who you are. as I am who
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I am. So that's what I learned to be.
347
00:13:54.919 --> 00:13:56.120
So you had a lot of shame.
348
00:13:57.059 --> 00:13:59.559
No, I don't think it's shame. I think it's something,
349
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I'm not sure what it was.
350
00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:02.620
All right, but it wasn't shame.
351
00:14:03.299 --> 00:14:05.120
No, it's not. I don't even understand shame. I think
352
00:14:05.159 --> 00:14:06.679
it's something I don't know how to really, it's a
353
00:14:06.750 --> 00:14:09.950
hurt and it's a shadow that I never know how to.
354
00:14:10.289 --> 00:14:10.720
Look at it.
355
00:14:11.049 --> 00:14:14.710
In your former culture, is there more?
356
00:14:16.730 --> 00:14:18.620
You know, I want to share something with you. Maybe
357
00:14:18.629 --> 00:14:21.639
you don't even think that way. When you don't, understand sex,
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00:14:21.860 --> 00:14:24.889
you don't understand a relationship, and you don't know what
359
00:14:24.929 --> 00:14:27.769
it is, like I shared with Dr. Zhu, what is abusive,
360
00:14:27.970 --> 00:14:29.710
what is all of that. I have no concept of
361
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what is correct way.
362
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Right.
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00:14:31.700 --> 00:14:34.759
So that's even more twisted in me because I don't
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00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:37.539
know what is correct way. So I'm reluctant to share
365
00:14:37.580 --> 00:14:40.419
because I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. But
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00:14:40.440 --> 00:14:42.779
for me, sometimes like the rape, all of that, I
367
00:14:42.820 --> 00:14:45.019
don't know what's the concept until later on I learned.
368
00:14:45.419 --> 00:14:48.299
But it's adjustment. I'm just use my brain. And then
369
00:14:48.340 --> 00:14:51.039
how I feel at that time soberly in my heart.
370
00:14:51.320 --> 00:14:54.529
Why join at age 14? That seems very young.
371
00:14:56.570 --> 00:14:58.629
Maybe I will share a little bit secret because at
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00:14:58.669 --> 00:15:03.529
that time my parents... In the Cultural Revolution, I never
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really understood, I never really asked them, and my family
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00:15:06.870 --> 00:15:11.580
wasn't really happy. They eventually divorced, which is a shadow
375
00:15:11.629 --> 00:15:14.220
on me, too. I don't understand. I think a lot
376
00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:18.200
of it has to do with politics, because they're professors
377
00:15:18.259 --> 00:15:21.820
in a university, and they're punishing intellectuals.
378
00:15:23.750 --> 00:15:25.450
China was punishing intellectuals?
379
00:15:25.549 --> 00:15:28.779
In the Cultural Revolution. So I did not really understand.
380
00:15:28.840 --> 00:15:32.860
So in my house, it's not really... Sometimes it's very sad.
381
00:15:33.419 --> 00:15:33.720
Right.
382
00:15:34.259 --> 00:15:37.039
When we had New Year's, then they were... My father
383
00:15:37.070 --> 00:15:40.250
and mother, sometimes they're not in the same group. There's
384
00:15:40.289 --> 00:15:42.710
no food, no nothing. Like us, just in the kitchen
385
00:15:42.769 --> 00:15:44.870
and crying. And there's no food and cold. Other people
386
00:15:44.889 --> 00:15:47.789
are happy. Right. So we were just there and kind
387
00:15:47.809 --> 00:15:50.250
of lost. That's part of a... I grew up basically
388
00:15:50.269 --> 00:15:52.500
with my grandparents. That's why I had the most love.
389
00:15:52.539 --> 00:15:54.960
Because I think the parents... They want their children to
390
00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:57.299
be who they are or their dreams are. But grandparents
391
00:15:57.360 --> 00:15:58.779
are just indulging, be who you are.
392
00:15:59.070 --> 00:16:04.169
Why? And it seems so far so different from our culture,
393
00:16:04.190 --> 00:16:05.490
the Chinese culture.
394
00:16:06.070 --> 00:16:09.529
What got you out here into the United States?
395
00:16:10.450 --> 00:16:13.110
The purest, the free spirit of soul. I want to fly.
396
00:16:13.129 --> 00:16:14.370
I want to see the world. I want to see
397
00:16:14.389 --> 00:16:16.289
the truth. I want to have the joy. I want
398
00:16:16.309 --> 00:16:20.889
to be who I am. I think anybody in this world,
399
00:16:21.129 --> 00:16:23.809
their duty or their mission is to be the most
400
00:16:24.029 --> 00:16:26.809
brilliant magic of who you are. No matter who you are,
401
00:16:26.850 --> 00:16:29.379
no matter how other people view you, but you are
402
00:16:29.409 --> 00:16:32.000
your magic. That's something I want to be. I want
403
00:16:32.039 --> 00:16:34.799
to be who I am regardless how you look at me,
404
00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:36.899
how you think of me. It's my gift to give
405
00:16:36.919 --> 00:16:37.159
to you.
406
00:16:37.460 --> 00:16:40.399
How would you change China if you could change China?
407
00:16:41.620 --> 00:16:44.799
I think China luckily is changing now. And then with
408
00:16:44.980 --> 00:16:47.539
all of us, even we're sitting talking now and all
409
00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:49.919
of the energy together. If you send out, you know,
410
00:16:49.960 --> 00:16:52.669
I was one time with Muhammad Ali and Dalai Lama
411
00:16:53.649 --> 00:16:56.389
in Indianapolis talking about the word peace.
412
00:16:56.710 --> 00:16:59.570
We were to TGI Fridays outside of Muncie.
413
00:16:59.610 --> 00:17:01.470
But yeah, I was with those dudes too once.
414
00:17:01.649 --> 00:17:06.259
Yeah, I think it's from within. And the peace from within.
415
00:17:06.279 --> 00:17:12.230
You know, today it's like Stephen Jobs saying, Steven Jobs, yes.
416
00:17:12.349 --> 00:17:15.650
I'm talking about how amazing one individual can be so
417
00:17:15.740 --> 00:17:18.759
magically powerful, influence the world, and change the world, and
418
00:17:18.779 --> 00:17:21.859
touch people's lives, and make their life so much beautiful
419
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:26.200
and richer without us knowing him. So that's the individual power.
420
00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:29.259
I think if we process, if you have that thought
421
00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:32.099
that believes in you, and you shine the lights, you
422
00:17:32.140 --> 00:17:34.509
help others, like your show, like what I'm doing, like
423
00:17:34.569 --> 00:17:35.230
all other people.
424
00:17:35.589 --> 00:17:36.269
Don't laugh.
425
00:17:36.309 --> 00:17:38.410
Don't be sarcastic. It's true in a way.
426
00:17:39.009 --> 00:17:40.269
It's self-deprecating.
427
00:17:40.589 --> 00:17:43.970
Not sarcastic. Not a reflection on you. More just my
428
00:17:44.009 --> 00:17:44.809
low self-esteem.
429
00:17:45.150 --> 00:17:45.349
Why?
430
00:17:45.869 --> 00:17:48.549
I grew up with the Caucasian version of your parents.
431
00:17:49.609 --> 00:17:51.950
You spoke on a panel on world peace with Muhammad
432
00:17:51.970 --> 00:17:53.009
Ali and the Dalai Lama.
433
00:17:53.049 --> 00:17:53.750
When was that?
434
00:17:53.769 --> 00:17:55.269
A couple years ago.
435
00:17:55.849 --> 00:17:58.509
How does that work? Do they call you? Do you
436
00:17:58.549 --> 00:18:00.559
call them? Do you have your publicist call them?
437
00:18:00.819 --> 00:18:02.779
No, I got a call from a publicist I don't
438
00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:06.839
even know. And they said, we want you to go somewhere.
439
00:18:06.859 --> 00:18:10.289
I said, where? I said, I cannot even learn Indian
440
00:18:10.329 --> 00:18:11.930
and Nepalese. And I said, Nepalese?
441
00:18:12.309 --> 00:18:13.329
Yes, Indianapolis.
442
00:18:13.369 --> 00:18:16.609
So anyway, so I got a call. I said, yeah,
443
00:18:16.670 --> 00:18:19.009
where is it with the Dalai Lama and Muhammad Ali
444
00:18:19.029 --> 00:18:21.250
talk about world peace? I was kind of, well, why me?
445
00:18:21.329 --> 00:18:23.230
He said, well, I don't know. They just ask for you.
446
00:18:23.250 --> 00:18:23.630
Yeah.
447
00:18:24.029 --> 00:18:26.059
So I think it is something I learned in life.
448
00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:27.180
Jennifer Aniston couldn't make it.
449
00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:29.000
I don't think so.
450
00:18:29.099 --> 00:18:29.359
Oh, okay.
451
00:18:29.420 --> 00:18:32.980
I think in life. You know, sometimes the questions I
452
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:35.339
may not have answered. Now I'm more and more simple.
453
00:18:35.400 --> 00:18:37.960
I don't want answer. I don't seeking answer. I'm just
454
00:18:38.009 --> 00:18:39.990
there to take the mission and order.
455
00:18:40.150 --> 00:18:43.029
What was it like hanging out with Dalai Lama? The
456
00:18:43.069 --> 00:18:44.849
Dalai Lama. Did he get drunk? Did he come on
457
00:18:44.869 --> 00:18:45.690
to you? What happened?
458
00:18:48.029 --> 00:18:49.549
Actually, I want to share with you.
459
00:18:49.569 --> 00:18:50.089
Muhammad Ali, please.
460
00:18:50.130 --> 00:18:53.619
Muhammad Ali is funny because he can... His daughter was there,
461
00:18:54.099 --> 00:18:56.759
how do you say, reciting a poem for him.
462
00:18:56.980 --> 00:18:57.920
Leilao Lei?
463
00:18:58.140 --> 00:18:58.319
Yeah.
464
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.859
So he was funny. He did not talk much, but
465
00:19:00.900 --> 00:19:02.720
he said, Bailing, before he get to the car, he said,
466
00:19:02.759 --> 00:19:04.700
come over here. He want to take him to his car.
467
00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:07.519
It's kind of like picking him up. Like, he's funny.
468
00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:10.720
So remember that moment is kind of an innocent, mischievous,
469
00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:14.269
like a funny man. So that light in him.
470
00:19:14.390 --> 00:19:15.690
Did he do a magic trick for you?
471
00:19:16.430 --> 00:19:18.930
Yeah, he's like picking me up, trying to get me
472
00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:19.500
over there.
473
00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:21.480
Was he hitting on you?
474
00:19:21.500 --> 00:19:23.940
He's just joking me. I think he likes me.
475
00:19:23.980 --> 00:19:26.569
Yeah, why not?
476
00:19:27.420 --> 00:19:27.980
He's a man.
477
00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:31.609
He's a man. So Dalai Lama, because it's very sensitive
478
00:19:31.650 --> 00:19:35.650
to talk about him, because the China issue, that's something larger,
479
00:19:35.809 --> 00:19:39.849
more difficult, more complicated than my comprehension. I don't want
480
00:19:39.869 --> 00:19:42.779
to get into the politics. I think politics are not
481
00:19:42.819 --> 00:19:43.279
very clean.
482
00:19:43.730 --> 00:19:45.359
Well, what's going on with Tibet?
483
00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:48.930
Tibet, actually, I lived there for three years. I think
484
00:19:48.970 --> 00:19:50.819
it's not really black and white there's a lot of
485
00:19:50.980 --> 00:19:53.980
areas like I learned about Tibet it's not part of
486
00:19:54.059 --> 00:19:57.519
China only when I landed in United States for me
487
00:19:57.539 --> 00:19:59.619
where I grew up Tibet is always part of us
488
00:19:59.640 --> 00:20:02.420
so where I live the town you have to fly
489
00:20:02.440 --> 00:20:04.839
there to Tibet I was there like in our armies
490
00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:07.720
we have Tibetan soldiers all of that it's really really
491
00:20:07.779 --> 00:20:11.660
friendly everybody together And to serve the purpose of being
492
00:20:11.779 --> 00:20:15.869
helping and peace and protect the beauty of the land
493
00:20:15.930 --> 00:20:19.190
of the religion. That's what I experienced for that three years.
494
00:20:19.650 --> 00:20:24.289
We're like a really great friend. So in my perspective,
495
00:20:24.359 --> 00:20:26.559
it's just, you know, you know how I changed the world.
496
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:28.299
If I have a power, I change the world. I
497
00:20:28.339 --> 00:20:34.079
will demolish all the countries because countries create violence. Boundaries, wars,
498
00:20:34.509 --> 00:20:36.809
all of that because of ownership, people fighting for that.
499
00:20:37.289 --> 00:20:40.789
But if without the boundaries, we're just all brothers and sisters,
500
00:20:41.069 --> 00:20:45.039
then a lot of issues were dissolved or resolved or
501
00:20:45.099 --> 00:20:46.079
disappeared naturally.
502
00:20:46.579 --> 00:20:49.440
Well, I feel that way about everyone in their groups,
503
00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:52.440
even when it's a prideful thing. Like, hey, we're going
504
00:20:52.460 --> 00:20:55.240
to have this pride parade and we're going to have
505
00:20:55.339 --> 00:20:57.039
that pride parade and we're going to.
506
00:20:56.980 --> 00:20:59.559
Have all these sort of pride parades. When you have that,
507
00:20:59.579 --> 00:21:04.309
you have a door, you disconnect other people from the
508
00:21:04.349 --> 00:21:06.569
other group. That's already created something.
509
00:21:06.950 --> 00:21:10.529
I'm just saying you can just be an American, in
510
00:21:11.390 --> 00:21:14.789
my opinion. And I don't need the Chinese American or
511
00:21:14.809 --> 00:21:17.640
the African American or the anything put in.
512
00:21:17.490 --> 00:21:18.240
Front of the American.
513
00:21:18.259 --> 00:21:20.339
We're just human beings in the world. Yeah.
514
00:21:21.140 --> 00:21:22.039
I'm with you.
515
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:24.039
We're living freely in the universe.
516
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:27.079
I'm going micro. You're going macro. But I'm on the
517
00:21:27.099 --> 00:21:31.130
same page. I don't like all the division. You create
518
00:21:31.150 --> 00:21:32.690
a border. Next thing you know, you have to put
519
00:21:32.710 --> 00:21:34.250
a fence up at the border. And the next thing
520
00:21:34.269 --> 00:21:36.509
you know, you have to protect the border. And the
521
00:21:36.549 --> 00:21:39.400
next thing you know, people are getting shot. I understand that.
522
00:21:39.660 --> 00:21:43.099
On the other hand, there are cultures who are asswipes.
523
00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:46.859
And you can't let too many of them come over
524
00:21:46.940 --> 00:21:48.480
because they'll fuck your culture up.
525
00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:50.329
And I don't know what the problem.
526
00:21:49.980 --> 00:21:50.569
Is with that.
527
00:21:50.750 --> 00:21:53.150
I still think that love is more powerful than war,
528
00:21:53.210 --> 00:21:56.190
than hatred, than all of us, all of the other things.
529
00:21:56.289 --> 00:21:59.329
Right, but you've got to tell that to Shiite Muslims
530
00:21:59.390 --> 00:22:00.750
and folks that want to blow up things.
531
00:22:01.019 --> 00:22:03.779
I think I can tell, like my song, Rehab, there's
532
00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:06.549
a You know, while I'm writing the song, Rehab, it's
533
00:22:06.569 --> 00:22:09.069
an extension of the message from the rehab I learned.
534
00:22:09.609 --> 00:22:12.150
And mine is a successful story because I'm really sober.
535
00:22:12.569 --> 00:22:15.750
I'm guarding myself. I was in a St. Sebastian Film Festival,
536
00:22:15.809 --> 00:22:18.289
as you remember, just like a week ago. Every day
537
00:22:18.309 --> 00:22:20.490
we have a reception. It's a champagne. They serve you.
538
00:22:20.829 --> 00:22:22.670
I look at it. They gave it to me. I said, no.
539
00:22:22.740 --> 00:22:24.180
I said, give me something else. They said, what do
540
00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:25.799
you want? I said, I want a Diet Coke or water.
541
00:22:25.819 --> 00:22:28.259
They said, how boring you are. But it's like a challenge.
542
00:22:28.759 --> 00:22:31.519
And that's the information. Because even today I was in
543
00:22:31.539 --> 00:22:33.640
a store. I was sending a fax. This lady said,
544
00:22:34.200 --> 00:22:36.200
I want to tell you all my associates how appreciative
545
00:22:36.220 --> 00:22:38.450
they are for you. I said, ask them to listen
546
00:22:38.490 --> 00:22:40.630
to my song. It's a message. It's like I'm giving
547
00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:42.829
a gift as a friend to you. So you hold
548
00:22:42.930 --> 00:22:46.210
on to the message. All of that's really a positive influence.
549
00:22:46.490 --> 00:22:49.250
Is it better than Money Can't Buy You a Class
550
00:22:50.029 --> 00:22:51.109
by the Real Housewives?
551
00:22:51.589 --> 00:22:52.450
What does that mean?
552
00:22:52.589 --> 00:22:53.470
You don't know that song?
553
00:22:53.670 --> 00:22:54.150
I don't know.
554
00:22:54.920 --> 00:22:56.900
Oh, bye, Ling. Oh, bye.
555
00:22:57.339 --> 00:22:58.420
Bye, bye, bye.
556
00:22:58.519 --> 00:23:00.430
I don't know many songs there.
557
00:23:00.450 --> 00:23:00.890
Oh, bye.
558
00:23:01.210 --> 00:23:02.609
No, I'm saying bye. I'm saying leave.
559
00:23:02.930 --> 00:23:05.349
I know sometimes I'm ignorant problem in my own world.
560
00:23:05.369 --> 00:23:06.569
You should know your competition.
561
00:23:07.029 --> 00:23:09.690
I don't think there's competition. I think we are wearing
562
00:23:09.769 --> 00:23:13.059
our own gift. If you think you compete, you always lose.
563
00:23:14.099 --> 00:23:16.240
And there's no competition to me. I'm just one of
564
00:23:16.299 --> 00:23:19.119
the unique gifts in my own skin in the universe.
565
00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:23.220
So like I'm writing a song, I never learn. Of course,
566
00:23:23.259 --> 00:23:26.069
my father teaches composition. I play violin.
567
00:23:26.269 --> 00:23:26.529
Oh, okay.
568
00:23:27.410 --> 00:23:28.630
I'm naturally musically.
569
00:23:29.490 --> 00:23:32.089
Inclined. Inclined, yeah.
570
00:23:32.490 --> 00:23:35.799
So when I'm writing a song, I'm also giving the
571
00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:39.980
message of courageous and fearless in life to show your
572
00:23:40.019 --> 00:23:43.660
talent and your light. Everybody has. So I'm daring to
573
00:23:43.700 --> 00:23:45.339
write the lyrics, the music.
574
00:23:45.619 --> 00:23:48.019
You want to hear some Money Can't Buy You Class?
575
00:23:48.529 --> 00:23:49.380
Yeah.
576
00:23:49.529 --> 00:23:53.190
This is from the Countess Luanne from the Real Housewives.
577
00:24:01.319 --> 00:24:04.279
This is her important message that's being sent out to
578
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:06.200
the universe. You know what I mean?
579
00:24:06.420 --> 00:24:06.839
What is it?
580
00:24:07.539 --> 00:24:12.069
Well, it's that money can't buy you class. That's right.
581
00:24:12.140 --> 00:24:17.049
Elegance is learned, my friends.
582
00:24:17.750 --> 00:24:20.910
You're not born into elegance.
583
00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:29.000
Here's where it really kicks in. This is where my
584
00:24:29.059 --> 00:24:31.440
shirt comes off normally. I mean, you know, when I'm
585
00:24:31.460 --> 00:24:31.960
at the club.
586
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:36.140
If I'm at home, the shirt's... It's one of your
587
00:24:36.220 --> 00:24:37.259
favorite songs?
588
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:42.829
Well, I wouldn't say one of, but it's got my
589
00:24:42.869 --> 00:24:43.470
top five.
590
00:24:43.490 --> 00:24:45.690
What's your top five?
591
00:24:45.730 --> 00:24:48.990
Well, there's this, and then there's the Barbie song. And
592
00:24:49.009 --> 00:24:50.670
then there's MacArthur Park.
593
00:24:53.079 --> 00:24:56.099
You know, I have a play song to you, my song.
594
00:24:56.119 --> 00:24:57.680
Maybe I will come to.
595
00:24:57.519 --> 00:24:58.240
Your top list.
596
00:24:58.500 --> 00:25:00.119
Then there's Rehab by Bi-Ling.
597
00:25:00.440 --> 00:25:02.980
I'm sure, I'm sure. We'll just let it pump until
598
00:25:03.019 --> 00:25:03.660
she gets to the next.
599
00:25:04.329 --> 00:25:07.349
You know the message I'm sending is like you can
600
00:25:07.390 --> 00:25:09.650
have great time and fun being sober.
601
00:25:09.710 --> 00:25:12.579
Right, because you don't need class that... Oh no, wait
602
00:25:12.619 --> 00:25:13.160
a minute.
603
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:16.240
No, you don't need drugs and alcohol to have fun.
604
00:25:16.259 --> 00:25:17.980
You don't need drugs and alcohol to have fun, but
605
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:19.779
sober is. That's the message.
606
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:24.039
Yeah, I like that. I think there's... Alright, this is
607
00:25:24.059 --> 00:25:25.140
giving me a fucking headache.
608
00:25:26.039 --> 00:25:26.960
No, she's a hack.
609
00:25:27.019 --> 00:25:28.619
She's horrible. This song's horrible.
610
00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:30.460
Alright, I was just kidding.
611
00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:31.200
This is bad.
612
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:34.960
Don't ever do this. I mean, do your song, but
613
00:25:35.259 --> 00:25:37.759
don't do this. Don't copy the Countess.
614
00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:39.759
I don't do anybody's song but mine.
615
00:25:39.859 --> 00:25:40.259
That's right.
616
00:25:40.279 --> 00:25:42.579
So that I have the confidence to show who I am.
617
00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:44.960
That's my spirit, and that's why I'm here.
618
00:25:45.660 --> 00:25:46.619
I think.
619
00:25:46.900 --> 00:25:47.380
Right.
620
00:25:47.559 --> 00:25:49.200
By the way, were you attracted to Dr.
621
00:25:49.240 --> 00:25:49.480
Drew?
622
00:25:50.359 --> 00:25:52.059
Oh, I think he's a very handsome gentleman.
623
00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:52.819
Fall in love with Dr.
624
00:25:52.859 --> 00:25:53.920
Drew, yeah? No, no.
625
00:25:54.039 --> 00:25:56.559
He's very smart. I like his style because he always
626
00:25:56.619 --> 00:25:59.119
keeps you distant. Like, he always dresses up. He never
627
00:25:59.660 --> 00:26:04.279
shows up otherwise in, like, not with ties, with suit on.
628
00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:07.420
He's very professional. Like, all their doctors, I was asking
629
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:10.140
them about their personal life. They said, well, we're doctors.
630
00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:12.799
We're here for you. Right. And they're not allowed you
631
00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:14.700
to get into their personal life, which is.
632
00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:15.660
Right.
633
00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:17.440
I learned something from him. You know what I learned?
634
00:26:17.660 --> 00:26:17.839
Hmm.
635
00:26:18.140 --> 00:26:21.099
I learned from him to don't give... people, I would
636
00:26:21.119 --> 00:26:25.559
say media, the ammunition to trash you. So basically before
637
00:26:25.579 --> 00:26:29.089
I was under influence of alcohol, whatever craziness I was,
638
00:26:29.509 --> 00:26:32.150
but I was not guarding myself in the right track
639
00:26:32.190 --> 00:26:34.549
to show the best of me. That's something I learned
640
00:26:35.210 --> 00:26:40.269
from my experience being alcohol, just crazy dancing and showing
641
00:26:40.309 --> 00:26:42.809
this part of side are not as elegant as I
642
00:26:42.829 --> 00:26:45.380
would like to. That's a wild side. So now I'm
643
00:26:45.410 --> 00:26:48.640
a new violinist, different. I want to present myself in
644
00:26:48.680 --> 00:26:51.579
the most respectful and elegant way.
645
00:26:51.839 --> 00:26:54.529
Do you stay in touch with any of your housemates?
646
00:26:56.029 --> 00:26:58.230
You know, it's funny when I get out of rehab
647
00:26:58.329 --> 00:27:02.009
and the first two days, first one week, I was
648
00:27:02.930 --> 00:27:06.170
really isolated from anybody. So they were reaching out to me.
649
00:27:06.190 --> 00:27:09.470
I was not talking to anybody, not calling anybody back.
650
00:27:09.599 --> 00:27:12.359
I was sleeping like a One day it was like,
651
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:14.940
I wake up, I thought it was 10 a.m., I
652
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:16.599
had a meeting, and I said, why is it so
653
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:19.039
dark outside? I open the window, it's dark. I look
654
00:27:19.059 --> 00:27:20.000
at it, it's 10 p.m.
655
00:27:20.259 --> 00:27:20.700
Wow.
656
00:27:20.859 --> 00:27:23.960
So I was kind of in a probably rebirth at
657
00:27:23.980 --> 00:27:26.380
that time to find myself, the true self. So I
658
00:27:26.420 --> 00:27:29.559
was really isolating myself from a lot of things, which
659
00:27:29.619 --> 00:27:32.220
I think is really good for me. Sometimes you need
660
00:27:32.329 --> 00:27:33.380
space to purify.
661
00:27:34.180 --> 00:27:37.710
Where were you during that horribly uncomfortable picnic time?
662
00:27:38.309 --> 00:27:40.109
Where they were at the outdoor restaurant.
663
00:27:40.849 --> 00:27:43.069
Wow, I'm so glad you mentioned it.
664
00:27:43.069 --> 00:27:45.809
They brought up the Long Island Lolita, shooting somebody in
665
00:27:45.829 --> 00:27:48.910
the face, and it was like, they called the cops,
666
00:27:49.049 --> 00:27:50.519
and I just couldn't believe it.
667
00:27:51.150 --> 00:27:52.869
Where were you when all that was going down?
668
00:27:53.089 --> 00:27:55.390
When I was there, basically, I had nobody with me.
669
00:27:55.410 --> 00:27:57.019
I was so, so sad.
670
00:27:57.039 --> 00:27:57.700
I was lost.
671
00:27:57.759 --> 00:27:59.700
I was sad. Basically, I was in my own space
672
00:28:00.200 --> 00:28:02.460
and watching those chaos.
673
00:28:02.960 --> 00:28:04.519
So you got to observe all that.
674
00:28:04.680 --> 00:28:08.200
Yeah, I was feeling kind of... You know, unfortunately, in
675
00:28:08.579 --> 00:28:11.519
a way, like, I don't know. Sometimes I see the
676
00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:14.440
show business is the show business on the surface, you know,
677
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:16.720
and I don't really understand the whole production.
678
00:28:16.779 --> 00:28:19.380
I'm sure you didn't have anyone visiting you.
679
00:28:19.549 --> 00:28:21.240
No, I was so, so sad.
680
00:28:21.269 --> 00:28:22.190
You know what, Byron?
681
00:28:22.210 --> 00:28:24.369
Next time you're in rehab, I'm coming by to see you.
682
00:28:24.490 --> 00:28:26.170
I'm not going to be in rehab.
683
00:28:26.190 --> 00:28:26.829
You know what? You're right.
684
00:28:26.849 --> 00:28:28.019
I'm not going to be in rehab. If.
685
00:28:28.700 --> 00:28:29.980
If I'm swinging by.
686
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:31.500
If you were in the rehab, I'm going.
687
00:28:31.420 --> 00:28:31.759
To visit you.
688
00:28:31.779 --> 00:28:33.289
If I'm in rehab, could you come by and visit me?
689
00:28:33.299 --> 00:28:34.259
Of course, all the time.
690
00:28:34.339 --> 00:28:36.539
And what about when you got up on the roof?
691
00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:38.509
What was going through your mind then?
692
00:28:38.700 --> 00:28:39.619
Well, that was mine.
693
00:28:42.049 --> 00:28:42.549
That was awesome.
694
00:28:42.569 --> 00:28:44.690
I cannot believe that was me. You know, it's like
695
00:28:44.950 --> 00:28:49.990
in a wardrobe and the shoes. Anyway, you know, it's fun.
696
00:28:50.009 --> 00:28:52.690
It's the first time I view American roof.
697
00:28:53.250 --> 00:28:54.130
You've never seen an American roof.
698
00:28:54.190 --> 00:28:55.750
I've never seen an American roof. I feel like a
699
00:28:55.890 --> 00:28:58.250
fresh air. Because in that house, in the rehab, it's
700
00:28:58.289 --> 00:28:59.410
really suffocating.
701
00:28:59.750 --> 00:29:00.109
Yeah.
702
00:29:00.470 --> 00:29:02.460
Like, we're 24 hours away. I wake up in the morning.
703
00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:04.799
I wake up, there's cameras in me. I say, whoa, whoa.
704
00:29:05.099 --> 00:29:05.259
Sure.
705
00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:07.460
It's like they're invading your space.
706
00:29:07.799 --> 00:29:07.960
Right.
707
00:29:07.980 --> 00:29:10.319
And I feel like also everybody's like, I feel like
708
00:29:10.339 --> 00:29:14.779
it's bubbling air around. Because everybody's open their heart, their womb,
709
00:29:15.460 --> 00:29:17.660
their every senses. It's kind of chaotic.
710
00:29:17.940 --> 00:29:18.160
Right.
711
00:29:18.309 --> 00:29:20.180
So I was very kind of a. You know, I
712
00:29:20.220 --> 00:29:22.640
feel like I've never cried that much. I feel like
713
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.240
I were having surgery, but in front of people. It's
714
00:29:25.259 --> 00:29:28.259
kind of a tough time. Before the air show, my
715
00:29:28.740 --> 00:29:31.930
really tough one where I confess what's my problem, I
716
00:29:31.970 --> 00:29:35.890
was driving in LA. I was on the ocean until
717
00:29:35.890 --> 00:29:39.150
4 a.m. I was terrified. I was terrified. It's really
718
00:29:39.170 --> 00:29:42.180
easy for people. to watch when we're there. It's so
719
00:29:42.259 --> 00:29:45.960
difficult because you're opening your heart, your wound for the
720
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:47.539
world to watch, and you don't know what's going to
721
00:29:47.559 --> 00:29:48.119
be out there.
722
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:49.660
How does it work?
723
00:29:49.779 --> 00:29:52.549
I know Drew well, and he's told me before about
724
00:29:52.869 --> 00:29:55.829
what the cast is and who the new cast members are.
725
00:29:56.529 --> 00:29:58.769
But how does it work? Do you reach out to them?
726
00:29:58.829 --> 00:30:01.799
Do they reach out to you? Does somebody in your
727
00:30:01.880 --> 00:30:04.960
circle reach out to them and say, Bailing's having a problem?
728
00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:06.720
How do you find out about it?
729
00:30:07.420 --> 00:30:12.049
I didn't find out. That's the experience confirmed to me that,
730
00:30:12.210 --> 00:30:16.859
you know, nature... And there's more power than we can make.
731
00:30:16.900 --> 00:30:17.400
No, no, no.
732
00:30:17.420 --> 00:30:19.779
Let me finish. Be patient with me.
733
00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:21.509
All right, I'll be patient.
734
00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:24.269
It's like somebody see you, there's an angel watching, even
735
00:30:24.349 --> 00:30:26.750
for you, for everybody. Like I did not reach out.
736
00:30:26.869 --> 00:30:29.549
They reached out to me. And I said no.
737
00:30:29.869 --> 00:30:31.329
Why did they reach out to you?
738
00:30:32.930 --> 00:30:35.430
I was asking me why. I think probably I'm kind
739
00:30:35.470 --> 00:30:39.269
of crazy. And in whatever magazines, newspapers, I'm very free.
740
00:30:39.289 --> 00:30:40.470
Right, they see you acting out.
741
00:30:40.869 --> 00:30:43.480
Yeah, seeing my acting, all my image, all of that,
742
00:30:43.509 --> 00:30:46.069
I think for whatever reason. And they think I have
743
00:30:46.089 --> 00:30:48.289
a problem also for the show business. Probably I'm there
744
00:30:48.369 --> 00:30:50.630
for some craziness of color or something.
745
00:30:50.849 --> 00:30:51.690
But I refused.
746
00:30:51.710 --> 00:30:55.869
I said no for probably almost a month because my
747
00:30:56.390 --> 00:30:59.329
really representative was not supporting me. And I was basically
748
00:31:00.029 --> 00:31:01.809
get on to the show on my own in the
749
00:31:01.970 --> 00:31:04.230
end that I realized I need help because in my
750
00:31:04.289 --> 00:31:07.130
career and personal life, I sort of hit the bottom.
751
00:31:07.289 --> 00:31:09.720
I know I have a problem. If I don't, help myself.
752
00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:11.779
I feel like I'm hitting the wall, like not in
753
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:14.539
your studio. Your studio is nice. Like there's no window.
754
00:31:14.559 --> 00:31:17.220
I don't see, I don't, I don't know where.
755
00:31:17.079 --> 00:31:17.609
The air is.
756
00:31:17.740 --> 00:31:20.819
So I'm kind of a lost. So I thought maybe I'm,
757
00:31:21.390 --> 00:31:24.529
I'm a such a adventurous in life and risk taker.
758
00:31:24.650 --> 00:31:26.849
I think maybe I should just challenge myself and see
759
00:31:26.890 --> 00:31:29.369
what I, I think that there's something different from me
760
00:31:29.430 --> 00:31:32.250
and other people, which I think people can learn maybe
761
00:31:32.269 --> 00:31:34.660
from like, I'm like anybody else. I'm afraid of a
762
00:31:34.900 --> 00:31:36.569
lot of things. I have a lot of questions and,
763
00:31:36.809 --> 00:31:38.670
But the difference is when I'm freed of something, I'll
764
00:31:38.710 --> 00:31:41.779
find myself there. So I find myself there in the
765
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:43.819
rehab to just to experience.
766
00:31:43.859 --> 00:31:46.339
To push yourself toward those things is a challenge.
767
00:31:46.460 --> 00:31:49.640
Yes. And the come out great like the song rehab
768
00:31:49.660 --> 00:31:52.440
will never have if I'm not experiencing.
769
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:55.259
We should hear a little bit about that song.
770
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:56.420
I'm playing for you.
771
00:31:56.819 --> 00:32:00.920
Number two, where are you now in the relationship department?
772
00:32:01.140 --> 00:32:01.799
Are you dating?
773
00:32:02.420 --> 00:32:04.279
Are you saying I'm staying away from guys for a
774
00:32:04.319 --> 00:32:04.740
little bit?
775
00:32:05.079 --> 00:32:08.519
You know what Dr. Zhu and Bob were telling me,
776
00:32:08.589 --> 00:32:12.170
I should not date for a while. And I think
777
00:32:12.650 --> 00:32:16.210
I revealed something to you. I think before I was
778
00:32:16.230 --> 00:32:17.930
an extremely passionate person.
779
00:32:18.190 --> 00:32:19.730
Dr. Zhu is passionate too.
780
00:32:20.210 --> 00:32:24.460
Well, he has family. So I'm just saying like with men,
781
00:32:24.759 --> 00:32:28.859
if somebody I like, I'm so honest. I just show
782
00:32:28.900 --> 00:32:32.420
my heart. I'm all the way there. And sometimes that power,
783
00:32:32.440 --> 00:32:34.900
that passion is too much for people to take. So
784
00:32:35.009 --> 00:32:36.250
I don't know that boundary.
785
00:32:36.410 --> 00:32:37.589
We call that horny here.
786
00:32:37.750 --> 00:32:40.430
No, it's not horny. It's not sober. I was not
787
00:32:40.470 --> 00:32:43.380
sober love. You know what I mean? I'm indulging that
788
00:32:43.450 --> 00:32:47.339
fire and burning. In my life before... I was not sober,
789
00:32:47.380 --> 00:32:50.079
but now I'm sober. Before, I'm always putting fire there
790
00:32:50.099 --> 00:32:51.240
that I'm trying to put it off.
791
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:54.519
So when you were not sober, you're saying you got
792
00:32:54.619 --> 00:32:58.049
hooked up with people and did things you did or
793
00:32:58.069 --> 00:32:58.920
didn't want to do.
794
00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:01.849
Yeah, I was not as elegant as I should be,
795
00:33:02.009 --> 00:33:07.029
as the true Bailin's soul and heart is. Because what
796
00:33:07.069 --> 00:33:10.289
I want to give is my gift of taking the challenging,
797
00:33:10.369 --> 00:33:12.970
courageous person as I come along to this country on
798
00:33:12.990 --> 00:33:15.910
my own. I did everything on my own. And also
799
00:33:15.950 --> 00:33:19.630
taking the chances and show people what potential you can
800
00:33:19.970 --> 00:33:21.950
have or how much you can go or you don't go.
801
00:33:22.369 --> 00:33:26.230
So I'm basically display and I'm just naked in every
802
00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:29.420
which level I'm talking about in a more sophisticated way.
803
00:33:29.539 --> 00:33:29.920
Not naked.
804
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:31.640
I'm cool. Yeah, I understand.
805
00:33:31.940 --> 00:33:35.599
So to just basically to be that person on the
806
00:33:35.660 --> 00:33:39.019
front line for people to learn something. But it's really
807
00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:41.200
pushing myself. Sometimes it's fun, you know, on the edge
808
00:33:41.220 --> 00:33:44.160
of life, pushing yourself. But I learned so much about
809
00:33:44.970 --> 00:33:49.809
like dignity, respect, honor, and also sober having fun. That's
810
00:33:49.829 --> 00:33:52.589
something I learned about myself. In that way, I can
811
00:33:52.630 --> 00:33:57.890
have the ground, have the respect for directors and sophisticated,
812
00:33:58.279 --> 00:34:01.380
intelligent filmmakers to see.
813
00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:02.599
To rely on me.
814
00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:04.579
You want to go out and do some acting now.
815
00:34:04.660 --> 00:34:07.160
No, go out. That's my gift. I need to give.
816
00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:09.400
It's not for me to keep. And I do have
817
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:12.239
that gift, naturally. I want to give. The only way
818
00:34:12.260 --> 00:34:14.239
people can trust me or rely on me and respect
819
00:34:14.280 --> 00:34:17.340
me is being me, rely on myself, respect myself.
820
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:20.719
Not drinking. So you think the drinking hurt your career?
821
00:34:20.940 --> 00:34:26.059
Yes, and made me accidentally, innocently, I become this, I
822
00:34:26.099 --> 00:34:29.260
become the shadow of the image, the Hollywood machine, sort
823
00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:33.280
of like, make it that cartoon character that become Bailing.
824
00:34:33.519 --> 00:34:34.739
I'm suffering from that shadow.
825
00:34:34.900 --> 00:34:35.460
I am not.
826
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:39.719
I'm so much better, so much more alive, so much richer,
827
00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:43.030
so much more loving and giving and sophisticated than that.
828
00:34:43.389 --> 00:34:47.550
Now, do you go out and, you know, actually, I
829
00:34:47.780 --> 00:34:49.679
have to figure this out for a second. We need
830
00:34:49.699 --> 00:34:51.500
to take a quick break. I want to hear some
831
00:34:51.539 --> 00:34:53.980
of the song as well. But I also want to
832
00:34:54.019 --> 00:34:56.559
know just what the average day in the life of
833
00:34:56.619 --> 00:34:57.320
violin is.
834
00:34:57.860 --> 00:34:59.980
I want to know what goes on, what you do.
835
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.570
Get up in the morning, a little Tai Chi in
836
00:35:02.590 --> 00:35:05.210
the park, or you're going out on auditions. I want
837
00:35:05.250 --> 00:35:06.750
to know how this is going to work and what
838
00:35:06.769 --> 00:35:09.789
your next project is. By the way, you want to
839
00:35:09.829 --> 00:35:13.690
talk about good chi, Amazon, baby. See, the people that
840
00:35:13.750 --> 00:35:15.909
listen to this show, if they want to support the show,
841
00:35:16.269 --> 00:35:19.130
and they're going to get something off Amazon, well, you
842
00:35:19.190 --> 00:35:22.389
click at adamcarolla.com, you hit the Amazon banner, and pow.
843
00:35:22.889 --> 00:35:23.969
We get a little love.
844
00:35:24.230 --> 00:35:25.889
And again, that's just good chi.
845
00:35:26.050 --> 00:35:27.889
That's good vibes heading your way.
846
00:35:27.909 --> 00:35:31.659
Also, I want people to go to Amazon iTunes and
847
00:35:31.699 --> 00:35:32.739
hear my song.
848
00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:36.739
Wait a minute. Now we're talking about a yin and
849
00:35:36.780 --> 00:35:37.760
a yang here, baby.
850
00:35:37.780 --> 00:35:38.699
Yin and yang.
851
00:35:38.719 --> 00:35:39.489
Is that Chinese?
852
00:35:40.610 --> 00:35:43.159
Yeah. Yeah.
853
00:35:43.599 --> 00:35:46.260
What we're saying is, is you want to hear Bailing's song.
854
00:35:46.579 --> 00:35:49.480
You want to get it off of Amazon. Well, you
855
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:52.820
click over at AdamCarolla.com. You hit the Amazon banner. Boom.
856
00:35:52.840 --> 00:35:53.829
You get Bailing's song.
857
00:35:53.969 --> 00:35:57.750
Boom. That's double, that's double power. That is, that is
858
00:35:57.809 --> 00:35:59.090
gang rape of good chi.
859
00:35:59.489 --> 00:36:03.110
And also, can I tell you something? Your fans to
860
00:36:03.150 --> 00:36:06.559
go to my official Bailing.com. Now I learn all this
861
00:36:07.030 --> 00:36:10.789
social media, like Twitter and Real Byling to follow me.
862
00:36:11.309 --> 00:36:14.829
I'm sharing, I have cookies, fat-free, sugar-free cookies on my Twitter.
863
00:36:14.969 --> 00:36:15.889
Did you bring any of those?
864
00:36:16.630 --> 00:36:18.309
You have to go to Twitter at Real Byling to
865
00:36:18.329 --> 00:36:18.730
test them.
866
00:36:18.750 --> 00:36:19.469
Can you give me one?
867
00:36:19.849 --> 00:36:23.670
All right. I will. Life is unpredictable, friends. That's why
868
00:36:23.730 --> 00:36:28.590
you need to go to my PC. Traffic jams, bad weather, sleet, hail, locusts, frogs,
869
00:36:29.510 --> 00:36:33.090
all the stuff in the Old Testament. That's right. It
870
00:36:33.130 --> 00:36:35.239
can come back to get you. And then you got
871
00:36:35.260 --> 00:36:36.969
to stay at home. And how are you going to
872
00:36:37.010 --> 00:36:39.309
get your work done at home? Because you can't get
873
00:36:39.349 --> 00:36:41.210
hold of your work computer. I'll tell you how. Go
874
00:36:41.250 --> 00:36:44.909
to my PC. Go to my PC by Citrix. That's right.
875
00:36:45.309 --> 00:36:48.889
Stay productive despite the unexpected. But you see, I'm like
876
00:36:48.929 --> 00:36:53.090
a ninja. I expect the unexpected. As a matter of fact,
877
00:36:53.179 --> 00:36:57.219
I expected myself to say that. That's how hard I train.
878
00:36:57.900 --> 00:37:01.440
Connect to your office Mac or PC from any computer
879
00:37:01.719 --> 00:37:05.530
or how about an iPad? Oh, what a time we're
880
00:37:05.570 --> 00:37:08.920
living in. Work on any file. Use any program or
881
00:37:09.099 --> 00:37:11.460
access your internal network. That's right.
882
00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:13.300
Do it from your home. Do it from the Starbucks.
883
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:15.039
Do it from the airport.
884
00:37:15.420 --> 00:37:18.260
Do it from your girlfriend's house. That's right, you married fellas.
885
00:37:18.579 --> 00:37:21.710
I know what you're up to. Your office computer, just
886
00:37:21.969 --> 00:37:24.300
a click away. No matter where you are, never get
887
00:37:24.340 --> 00:37:26.659
busted by the boss again. You're taking care of business,
888
00:37:27.159 --> 00:37:31.280
so what if you're in a bar? Try GoToMyPC free today.
889
00:37:31.340 --> 00:37:37.480
That's right, free. 45-day free trial. Visit GoToMyPC.com, click on
890
00:37:37.500 --> 00:37:40.539
the Try It Free button, and use the promo code ADAM.
891
00:37:40.760 --> 00:37:42.980
Quick break. Back with more Biling next.
892
00:37:43.460 --> 00:37:43.820
Thank you.
893
00:37:47.300 --> 00:37:50.239
Hey, everybody. I'm Lynette Carolla. I'm Stephanie Wilder-Taylor.
894
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:53.030
Check us out for Crying Out Loud, our new show.
895
00:37:53.150 --> 00:37:53.449
Go.
896
00:37:53.570 --> 00:37:55.489
Ace Broadcast Network. Subscribe.
897
00:37:55.530 --> 00:37:56.190
Go to iTunes.
898
00:37:56.210 --> 00:37:59.849
Check us out. For Crying Out Loud, with Lynette Carolla
899
00:38:00.030 --> 00:38:04.900
and Stephanie Wilder-Taylor. Every Monday, only on the Ace Broadcasting Network.
900
00:38:23.340 --> 00:38:26.900
Move over. Money can't buy a class. I have a
901
00:38:26.940 --> 00:38:28.440
new favorite favorite dance song.
902
00:38:29.019 --> 00:38:32.949
That's right. Rehab by Link.
903
00:38:33.769 --> 00:38:34.369
Rehab.
904
00:38:34.909 --> 00:38:37.949
Sober, living, celebrating, dancing crazy.
905
00:38:38.110 --> 00:38:40.570
Listen, it's better than that crappy Christian rock everyone has.
906
00:38:40.469 --> 00:38:41.280
To listen to. Much better.
907
00:38:41.610 --> 00:38:45.480
So, now first off, when you go back to China,
908
00:38:45.539 --> 00:38:46.780
how are you received?
909
00:38:48.099 --> 00:38:50.860
I received very well. I've been going to China, go
910
00:38:50.920 --> 00:38:54.420
back to China quite often to see my parents. And
911
00:38:54.679 --> 00:38:57.260
I just did a movie in China. I was really
912
00:38:57.639 --> 00:39:01.139
very well received. And when I go to, you know,
913
00:39:01.179 --> 00:39:05.869
Chinese embassy to get a visa because I have American
914
00:39:05.909 --> 00:39:09.590
passport now. So you have to get a visa. So
915
00:39:09.690 --> 00:39:12.199
the officers there, they took me to a little room
916
00:39:12.280 --> 00:39:14.920
like your studio. So I just like people walk in
917
00:39:14.940 --> 00:39:17.300
like one after another, just take a picture of me.
918
00:39:17.340 --> 00:39:20.139
They didn't ask me anything. I said, wow, this great wall.
919
00:39:20.199 --> 00:39:22.070
And behind me, I said, what's going on there? It's
920
00:39:22.130 --> 00:39:24.690
kind of a. and secretly scary sometimes.
921
00:39:24.969 --> 00:39:26.829
When you say the Great Wall, do you mean the
922
00:39:26.869 --> 00:39:27.530
Great Wall?
923
00:39:27.849 --> 00:39:29.050
Great Wall, the picture of Great Wall.
924
00:39:29.070 --> 00:39:30.960
Picture of Great Wall. of the Great Wall of China.
925
00:39:31.320 --> 00:39:34.400
So the Chinese people are not as open as Americans.
926
00:39:34.420 --> 00:39:38.699
They're very modest. Sometimes they do things you can't really
927
00:39:38.780 --> 00:39:41.139
see through. So I said, why are you taking so
928
00:39:41.159 --> 00:39:44.599
many pictures? And there's like 10, 20 people there. After that,
929
00:39:44.659 --> 00:39:47.010
I said, excuse me, what about my visa? They said,
930
00:39:47.050 --> 00:39:51.050
here you go. So my visa's ready. So I think
931
00:39:51.369 --> 00:39:54.190
I should be the ambassador or the bridge between East
932
00:39:54.230 --> 00:39:56.590
and West because I was born there. I lived here.
933
00:39:56.829 --> 00:39:59.489
Well, we're scared of China right now, I think.
934
00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:02.800
Because I think we think, and we may be right,
935
00:40:02.840 --> 00:40:03.480
that they're going.
936
00:40:03.420 --> 00:40:04.159
To take over.
937
00:40:04.179 --> 00:40:08.579
If you're scared of China, they will scare you because
938
00:40:08.599 --> 00:40:12.119
you have fear. What about if you embrace China? That's
939
00:40:12.139 --> 00:40:14.849
just part of your land. It's sort of like, I
940
00:40:14.869 --> 00:40:16.409
don't know if you have a girlfriend, you marry your
941
00:40:16.449 --> 00:40:18.750
girlfriend or your wife, then you become part of the family.
942
00:40:18.789 --> 00:40:20.250
You will never be afraid of it. You'll be part
943
00:40:20.289 --> 00:40:23.090
of it. They will like you too. That's how make peace.
944
00:40:23.210 --> 00:40:25.730
Is China doing all, I mean, I know China's doing well,
945
00:40:25.829 --> 00:40:28.880
but what are they, I feel like they need a
946
00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:31.480
little improvement in the human rights department.
947
00:40:31.820 --> 00:40:34.519
Well, you know, China, like one time somebody asked me,
948
00:40:34.639 --> 00:40:37.360
how do you view China? I said, China basically is
949
00:40:37.380 --> 00:40:40.809
like a middle-aged man or older man. But in the morning,
950
00:40:40.849 --> 00:40:44.090
just wake up and the window doors open and he
951
00:40:44.219 --> 00:40:47.199
is walking out and the sun is rising and he's
952
00:40:47.260 --> 00:40:50.719
walking towards the horizon, towards the sunlight. That's China. It's
953
00:40:50.739 --> 00:40:53.079
a great hope. And we're in the process. And I
954
00:40:53.239 --> 00:40:56.199
think China just, if you go there, have you been there?
955
00:40:56.219 --> 00:40:57.420
I was there last week.
956
00:40:57.960 --> 00:40:58.760
Last week? You sure?
957
00:40:58.780 --> 00:41:00.989
No, the week before.
958
00:41:01.130 --> 00:41:02.329
Sorry. Exciting.
959
00:41:02.389 --> 00:41:03.150
No, I've never been there.
960
00:41:03.309 --> 00:41:06.090
It's so exciting. It's so exciting. So positive. And a
961
00:41:06.110 --> 00:41:08.489
lot of things are going on. So exciting at the time.
962
00:41:08.630 --> 00:41:12.329
And it's history right now, China. It's positive things happen.
963
00:41:12.769 --> 00:41:15.269
And it's like a lot of Americans' business happening there.
964
00:41:15.309 --> 00:41:19.090
It's really, really open. It's a really big improvement from
965
00:41:19.130 --> 00:41:21.760
what you would imagine or from what it was before.
966
00:41:21.820 --> 00:41:24.500
It's really great hope. I'm so excited about China.
967
00:41:24.579 --> 00:41:27.440
And you think the future is a good relationship between
968
00:41:27.460 --> 00:41:29.059
the United States and China?
969
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:29.960
Of course.
970
00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:30.679
Oh, good.
971
00:41:31.170 --> 00:41:33.929
I think now that I speak English, I speak Chinese,
972
00:41:33.989 --> 00:41:35.869
I think that I have the world.
973
00:41:36.369 --> 00:41:37.690
Yeah, it's not bad.
974
00:41:38.929 --> 00:41:42.409
I think China and U.S. is just like husband and wife.
975
00:41:44.110 --> 00:41:44.730
It's a family.
976
00:41:45.130 --> 00:41:46.590
Yeah.
977
00:41:46.630 --> 00:41:48.670
That's the way we need to think. It's a family.
978
00:41:48.989 --> 00:41:52.110
And there's no fears, no something you're against and you're
979
00:41:52.130 --> 00:41:55.010
trying to create a problem or finding problem. It's a family.
980
00:41:55.030 --> 00:41:55.769
There's no problem.
981
00:41:55.909 --> 00:41:58.869
So what is your average day like? What time do
982
00:41:58.889 --> 00:42:01.289
you wake up? What do you do? What do you eat?
983
00:42:01.909 --> 00:42:02.510
Where do you go?
984
00:42:02.590 --> 00:42:04.889
You know, today I wake up, I love the rain
985
00:42:04.949 --> 00:42:09.210
because of where I came from, always raining. And it's nostalgic,
986
00:42:09.250 --> 00:42:13.559
it's romantic, it's poetry to me. It's where I was born.
987
00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:16.639
Sometimes I watch the drips, how they drop the last
988
00:42:16.900 --> 00:42:20.179
drip on the leaves, how sensitive nature can be, how many.
989
00:42:20.980 --> 00:42:24.019
Especially when the rain is in the sunlight, you see
990
00:42:24.039 --> 00:42:24.639
the rainbows.
991
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:25.019
Yeah.
992
00:42:25.340 --> 00:42:27.809
And that's the day today. I'm sort of like one
993
00:42:27.849 --> 00:42:29.949
day at a time. I don't even remember yesterday or tomorrow.
994
00:42:29.969 --> 00:42:30.710
I'm in the moment.
995
00:42:30.789 --> 00:42:31.489
Love that show.
996
00:42:31.510 --> 00:42:33.130
So you wake up.
997
00:42:33.489 --> 00:42:34.190
You tell Dr.
998
00:42:34.230 --> 00:42:35.250
Drew, hey, man, you.
999
00:42:35.210 --> 00:42:36.670
Got to split. I said, Dr.
1000
00:42:36.690 --> 00:42:38.269
Drew, too many meetings for us.
1001
00:42:38.309 --> 00:42:39.190
Yeah, yeah.
1002
00:42:39.449 --> 00:42:42.769
Individual meetings, all these meetings, and confess. Yeah.
1003
00:42:43.050 --> 00:42:46.050
So your horizontal meeting, I didn't get the meaning of that.
1004
00:42:46.170 --> 00:42:47.130
But now I do.
1005
00:42:47.150 --> 00:42:51.510
I think now, every day, I'm just really, really excited.
1006
00:42:52.179 --> 00:42:54.920
Especially when I'm sober, so appreciative of life, the breath
1007
00:42:54.960 --> 00:42:57.000
of life. I want to share something. Don't think I'm
1008
00:42:57.059 --> 00:42:59.949
talking nonsense, but this is real. Like the breath and
1009
00:42:59.969 --> 00:43:01.889
the wind and the air, we don't see it, but
1010
00:43:01.909 --> 00:43:05.489
they are there. That's the spirit is so generously serving
1011
00:43:05.590 --> 00:43:08.190
us without asking for anything. And we ignore them, but
1012
00:43:08.230 --> 00:43:11.420
without them, we cannot survive. That's a spirit I think
1013
00:43:11.800 --> 00:43:14.239
that we all have need to contribute to the world
1014
00:43:14.340 --> 00:43:17.739
for the peace and love for humanity too.
1015
00:43:17.960 --> 00:43:18.920
I will say this.
1016
00:43:20.110 --> 00:43:22.929
I'm not nearly as spiritual as you are, Bailing, but
1017
00:43:23.909 --> 00:43:28.690
appreciating life and appreciating what you have and appreciating the
1018
00:43:28.949 --> 00:43:32.630
breath that's in your lungs. That is the difference between
1019
00:43:32.650 --> 00:43:37.179
happy and unhappy. Taking a moment to go instead of
1020
00:43:37.340 --> 00:43:40.920
looking forward to the next conquest or the next job
1021
00:43:41.119 --> 00:43:45.079
or the next whatever you're collecting or gathering, stopping and going,
1022
00:43:45.219 --> 00:43:47.559
look what I have here right in front of me
1023
00:43:47.719 --> 00:43:48.320
right now.
1024
00:43:48.650 --> 00:43:51.510
You know, today I was like so busy, like running
1025
00:43:51.530 --> 00:43:54.929
around because of raining. Then what I learned, I shared
1026
00:43:55.010 --> 00:43:58.739
my little cookies on Twitter, what I said, I said,
1027
00:43:58.780 --> 00:44:02.380
when you're caught up in life and don't forget all
1028
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:04.840
the joy in it. But when we're living and busy,
1029
00:44:04.900 --> 00:44:07.739
making money, successful, but you don't live, you don't breathe,
1030
00:44:07.780 --> 00:44:11.119
you don't notice life just passing by you. I think
1031
00:44:11.219 --> 00:44:13.570
why we're trying to make a better life for ourselves
1032
00:44:13.849 --> 00:44:17.690
is for us to have the luxuries time or space
1033
00:44:17.730 --> 00:44:19.690
to enjoy, but we forgot to enjoy them.
1034
00:44:20.329 --> 00:44:22.730
I would like to start a cookie line.
1035
00:44:22.989 --> 00:44:24.190
Write this down, Lynch.
1036
00:44:24.309 --> 00:44:25.130
Let me tell you something.
1037
00:44:25.489 --> 00:44:27.440
Fortune cookie. Biling's fortune cookie.
1038
00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:28.289
Oh, is that what it is?
1039
00:44:28.539 --> 00:44:29.760
Yeah, fortune cookie.
1040
00:44:29.780 --> 00:44:31.699
I thought that was a name for your private parts there.
1041
00:44:32.260 --> 00:44:32.989
Let me tell you this.
1042
00:44:33.010 --> 00:44:34.210
No, what are you talking about?
1043
00:44:34.269 --> 00:44:35.170
You know what I'm talking about.
1044
00:44:35.190 --> 00:44:35.929
American man.
1045
00:44:36.090 --> 00:44:36.909
The point of it, we're all sick.
1046
00:44:36.929 --> 00:44:38.670
You know, sometimes your joke, I don't get.
1047
00:44:38.590 --> 00:44:39.050
It, but.
1048
00:44:39.090 --> 00:44:39.309
Good.
1049
00:44:39.909 --> 00:44:42.050
That one you got. But let me tell you this.
1050
00:44:42.110 --> 00:44:42.449
I don't.
1051
00:44:42.630 --> 00:44:45.329
What if I start selling cookies where I, we do
1052
00:44:45.349 --> 00:44:46.550
a cross promotion thing.
1053
00:44:46.650 --> 00:44:47.010
Yes.
1054
00:44:47.070 --> 00:44:50.670
Where I go, my cookies have all the crap Bailing's
1055
00:44:50.710 --> 00:44:51.909
cookies don't have.
1056
00:44:52.170 --> 00:44:52.469
Yes.
1057
00:44:52.550 --> 00:44:54.469
Twice the butter. Twice the sugar.
1058
00:44:54.489 --> 00:44:58.380
I'm a sugar-free, fat-free. Twice the fat. So whatever it is.
1059
00:44:58.659 --> 00:45:00.400
And so you eat one of my cookies and then
1060
00:45:00.420 --> 00:45:01.699
you eat one of Bailing's.
1061
00:45:01.300 --> 00:45:02.019
Cookies and you're even.
1062
00:45:02.039 --> 00:45:03.280
Then you have a day and night.
1063
00:45:03.340 --> 00:45:04.139
Yin and yang.
1064
00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:04.719
Yin and yang.
1065
00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:06.079
Chocolate and vanilla.
1066
00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:06.519
Yes.
1067
00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:07.460
Yeah.
1068
00:45:08.159 --> 00:45:09.119
I like that, Bailing.
1069
00:45:09.159 --> 00:45:09.460
Right?
1070
00:45:09.719 --> 00:45:10.849
Yeah. Yeah.
1071
00:45:11.050 --> 00:45:13.010
So do your cookies taste good even though? Because I
1072
00:45:13.050 --> 00:45:13.690
always hear that.
1073
00:45:13.710 --> 00:45:15.369
Oh, you have to try it.
1074
00:45:15.369 --> 00:45:15.869
I would have.
1075
00:45:16.289 --> 00:45:19.030
You know what? A lot of people love my cookies.
1076
00:45:19.070 --> 00:45:24.730
We cannot... Have the day smiling without your cookies, which
1077
00:45:24.869 --> 00:45:28.809
I enjoy giving. I think it's something you learn, breathe
1078
00:45:28.889 --> 00:45:29.989
life to share with others.
1079
00:45:30.010 --> 00:45:31.530
Send over a batch, baby.
1080
00:45:32.349 --> 00:45:32.829
That's all.
1081
00:45:33.250 --> 00:45:34.289
Yeah, that's my cookie.
1082
00:45:34.369 --> 00:45:34.570
See?
1083
00:45:34.869 --> 00:45:35.690
Yeah, I like that.
1084
00:45:36.050 --> 00:45:39.460
When you are too busy cutting life, don't forget the
1085
00:45:39.519 --> 00:45:43.300
joy of it all. Harsh raining day while LA can
1086
00:45:43.340 --> 00:45:44.480
be so moody.
1087
00:45:45.429 --> 00:45:45.800
I like that.
1088
00:45:46.019 --> 00:45:48.980
I said your show. I'm driving to your show today.
1089
00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:49.940
Thank you, sweetie.
1090
00:45:49.940 --> 00:45:50.360
7 p.m.
1091
00:45:50.460 --> 00:45:55.119
For that, you're getting another plug. Available on iTunes. Single
1092
00:45:55.280 --> 00:45:58.730
is called Rehab. A song about people having fun when
1093
00:45:58.769 --> 00:46:02.070
they're sober. And why not? Why not everyone just take
1094
00:46:02.110 --> 00:46:02.869
a breath and.
1095
00:46:03.090 --> 00:46:06.469
Even you're in the club, drink like sober. Drink water.
1096
00:46:06.530 --> 00:46:06.969
Have fun.
1097
00:46:06.989 --> 00:46:07.070
Yeah.
1098
00:46:07.610 --> 00:46:10.280
Sure, spend $ 9 on a Sprite.
1099
00:46:10.460 --> 00:46:13.199
You know, I think that takes guts to be sober,
1100
00:46:13.219 --> 00:46:15.559
to have fun, because you're trying to numb yourself to
1101
00:46:15.599 --> 00:46:17.380
do weird things that you don't want to see. But
1102
00:46:17.420 --> 00:46:20.750
what about if you're a witness to what you do?
1103
00:46:20.909 --> 00:46:23.650
That's daring, but that's beautiful when you're there. Another level
1104
00:46:23.690 --> 00:46:26.070
of life that you've never been in is a magic land.
1105
00:46:26.510 --> 00:46:29.829
When you're soberly dancing day and night, enjoy life. That's
1106
00:46:29.889 --> 00:46:30.969
my song, day and night.
1107
00:46:30.989 --> 00:46:33.610
That's how I tore my meniscus. And before we let
1108
00:46:33.650 --> 00:46:35.110
you go tonight, I want to tell you about my
1109
00:46:35.150 --> 00:46:38.489
good friends over at Gazelle. They like to say, don't
1110
00:46:38.530 --> 00:46:43.210
just sell it, gazelle it. That's gazelle.com. Take all those
1111
00:46:43.409 --> 00:46:46.650
old crappy electronic devices you ain't using anymore.
1112
00:46:46.769 --> 00:46:51.659
Smartphones that ain't so smart. They're wearing dunce caps now. Laptops,
1113
00:46:51.719 --> 00:46:53.559
digital cameras, MP3 players.
1114
00:46:53.579 --> 00:46:57.989
Huh? What happened to those? e-book readers, I have an
1115
00:46:58.030 --> 00:47:03.409
assistant to read my books, etc. Take them and get
1116
00:47:03.449 --> 00:47:07.260
some cash for them. You go to gazelle.com, you enter
1117
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:10.159
the make and model, you see how much Gazelle offers.
1118
00:47:10.440 --> 00:47:13.940
So you know what your MP3 player is, your smartphone is.
1119
00:47:14.300 --> 00:47:16.659
You just go to gazelle.com and go, here's what I got.
1120
00:47:16.679 --> 00:47:18.309
And they go, well, here's what we're paying for that.
1121
00:47:18.710 --> 00:47:20.150
Then they ship you a box, you put it in,
1122
00:47:20.690 --> 00:47:25.920
drop in the mail, forget about it. And, uh, What
1123
00:47:25.960 --> 00:47:26.559
can I say?
1124
00:47:27.380 --> 00:47:27.699
Easy.
1125
00:47:28.400 --> 00:47:29.119
Easy to ship.
1126
00:47:29.699 --> 00:47:33.039
Easy to take care of. They'll even pay for postage.
1127
00:47:33.699 --> 00:47:37.110
Yeah, that's right. Get that crappy gadget out of your face.
1128
00:47:37.309 --> 00:47:39.730
They'll pay for the postage. You won't have to throw
1129
00:47:39.750 --> 00:47:42.690
it in a landfill. And maybe you're looking to step up.
1130
00:47:43.090 --> 00:47:44.789
Maybe you got the iPhone 3G and you want to
1131
00:47:44.829 --> 00:47:49.010
get the 4. Or maybe you got the iPad and
1132
00:47:49.030 --> 00:47:52.090
you want the iPad 2. They'll pay. For the old ones.
1133
00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:53.940
They'll pay for the old ones. You don't have to
1134
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:56.659
give it to that crappy niece of yours with a
1135
00:47:56.719 --> 00:48:00.539
learning disorder that hates your guts. But you're not going
1136
00:48:00.559 --> 00:48:05.059
to find out until Thanksgiving 2033. That's right. Get the
1137
00:48:05.099 --> 00:48:07.539
new stuff, baby, and let Gazelle pay you for the
1138
00:48:07.619 --> 00:48:11.539
old stuff. That's gazelle.com. Don't just sell it. Gazelle it.
1139
00:48:11.800 --> 00:48:16.840
All right, Biling, this has been a little slice of heaven. Biling, everybody,
1140
00:48:17.320 --> 00:48:21.769
rehab the name of the new song. Go to iTunes
1141
00:48:22.050 --> 00:48:24.449
and check it out or go to Amazon.
1142
00:48:24.489 --> 00:48:28.289
And again, remember the good karma. Remember the good chi.
1143
00:48:29.070 --> 00:48:32.710
Go through AdamCarolla.com and send a little love our way.
1144
00:48:33.070 --> 00:48:35.659
So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for the
1145
00:48:36.059 --> 00:48:39.059
newly and nicely sober. Bye, Ling.
1146
00:48:39.139 --> 00:48:39.559
Sang.
1147
00:48:39.579 --> 00:48:40.800
Thank you.
1148
00:48:41.199 --> 00:48:42.760
Mahalo. Thank you, baby.
1149
00:48:42.780 --> 00:48:43.679
Thank you so much.
1150
00:48:49.650 --> 00:48:51.630
All right, that's Adam Carolla Show 672. Coming up next,
1151
00:48:51.650 --> 00:48:54.650
we have Adam Carolla Show 685. Zane Busby, Alison Rosen,
1152
00:48:54.769 --> 00:48:55.860
Brian Bishop from 2011. Check it out.
1153
00:49:01.159 --> 00:49:05.860
And now, he didn't mean to turn you on, Adam Carolla.
1154
00:49:05.989 --> 00:49:06.530
Yeah.
1155
00:49:08.090 --> 00:49:09.969
Rest in peace, Robert Palmer.
1156
00:49:11.610 --> 00:49:13.150
I'd be all right if he was still alive, as.
1157
00:49:13.150 --> 00:49:15.409
Long as he promised he'd never make another fucking song
1158
00:49:15.449 --> 00:49:15.989
and it's alive.
1159
00:49:16.010 --> 00:49:20.139
Hey! What's going on out there? Get it on! Got
1160
00:49:20.159 --> 00:49:22.039
to get it on. No choice but to get it on.
1161
00:49:22.119 --> 00:49:26.760
Mandate. Get it on. Ah, love me some Nissan. As
1162
00:49:26.800 --> 00:49:30.840
you know, I pilot a few of those Datsuns. Nissans,
1163
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:34.840
if you will. Love me the durability. Always drove Nissan
1164
00:49:35.139 --> 00:49:38.309
pickup trucks, by the way. Actually, I knew my life
1165
00:49:38.610 --> 00:49:41.289
took a turn for the better when I stopped driving
1166
00:49:41.510 --> 00:49:46.369
Datsun pickup trucks and stepped up to a Nissan. That's right.
1167
00:49:46.429 --> 00:49:48.719
It was 1984. And the truck was from 84.
1168
00:49:48.710 --> 00:49:49.190
This was 88.
1169
00:49:49.190 --> 00:49:53.099
Timely. But the point is, I had myself a nice
1170
00:49:53.440 --> 00:49:57.260
truck that said Nissan on the back of it. Beautiful Nissan.
1171
00:49:57.280 --> 00:49:58.980
The Versa. What a car.
1172
00:49:59.199 --> 00:50:05.019
Starting under $ 11, 000.
1173
00:50:01.739 --> 00:50:03.760
Innovation for all. That's what they like to say.
1174
00:50:03.780 --> 00:50:08.260
The all-new Versa sedan. Most legroom, headroom, trunk space, technology
1175
00:50:08.380 --> 00:50:12.739
per dollar. I swear to God, this thing has more
1176
00:50:12.800 --> 00:50:16.050
technology in it than my Aston Martin DB9 from five
1177
00:50:16.070 --> 00:50:19.469
years ago has. It is incredible, which bothers the hell
1178
00:50:19.530 --> 00:50:21.969
out of me. Don't get me wrong. It is an
1179
00:50:22.190 --> 00:50:26.289
unbelievable vehicle. I'd say first car.
1180
00:50:26.369 --> 00:50:28.650
Great first car. Great if you have a kid. Safe.
1181
00:50:29.190 --> 00:50:32.489
Get in a car. And big. Plenty of space. Holds
1182
00:50:32.550 --> 00:50:36.679
four big dudes easily. Nissan.com.
1183
00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:42.300
Check it out. Nissan.com. Man, indestructible, man. Can't break those cars.
1184
00:50:42.639 --> 00:50:46.340
I drive a race car around, thinks it's eight grand
1185
00:50:46.460 --> 00:50:48.340
all day long. You don't know what that means. The engine.
1186
00:50:48.949 --> 00:50:49.429
The engine.
1187
00:50:50.050 --> 00:50:50.409
Revin.
1188
00:50:50.550 --> 00:50:50.989
RPMs.
1189
00:50:50.989 --> 00:50:57.050
8,000. All just pegged. All day long. Never, never breaks.
1190
00:50:57.230 --> 00:50:57.809
Indestructible.
1191
00:50:57.849 --> 00:50:59.389
Learned a lot about cars from the car show, by
1192
00:50:59.409 --> 00:51:01.409
the way. I'm not a car guy, and I enjoy
1193
00:51:01.429 --> 00:51:04.610
the car show. From a non-car guy perspective, I almost
1194
00:51:04.630 --> 00:51:06.710
wish you guys would explain more like your sort of...
1195
00:51:07.719 --> 00:51:09.909
Just general, like, you mentioned a lot of things that
1196
00:51:09.929 --> 00:51:11.489
are like, oh, yeah, of course. Like, oh, that car
1197
00:51:11.510 --> 00:51:12.030
is no good.
1198
00:51:12.150 --> 00:51:13.409
But what are wheels?
1199
00:51:15.130 --> 00:51:17.869
You keep talking about wheels. I feel like I'm past
1200
00:51:17.909 --> 00:51:18.329
that point.
1201
00:51:18.570 --> 00:51:19.610
Yeah, I know.
1202
00:51:19.630 --> 00:51:22.309
But it's for car guys, so. No, I know.
1203
00:51:22.610 --> 00:51:27.099
The problem is, is with television, everything's like, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
1204
00:51:27.179 --> 00:51:29.400
And if you ever stop and explain anything, they'd probably
1205
00:51:29.420 --> 00:51:33.679
cut that out anyway. But then it's car guy on
1206
00:51:33.739 --> 00:51:35.949
car guy on car guy. So you never really stop.
1207
00:51:35.969 --> 00:51:38.150
It's like when sales guys get together and they start
1208
00:51:38.190 --> 00:51:43.099
throwing around or TV scheduling guys or executives start tossing
1209
00:51:43.119 --> 00:51:46.599
around the lingo that they use. It's sort of like
1210
00:51:46.679 --> 00:51:50.710
doctors or attorneys, but wildly annoying. No one ever stops
1211
00:51:50.750 --> 00:51:54.190
and explains what the fuck you're talking about. We have
1212
00:51:54.230 --> 00:51:58.570
some questions, by the way, coming in from you, the audience,
1213
00:51:58.650 --> 00:52:01.570
which I think is something we should get into. I
1214
00:52:01.610 --> 00:52:03.969
happen to enjoy those and we don't do it enough.
1215
00:52:04.070 --> 00:52:07.380
And this is just questions that you guys sent in.
1216
00:52:07.500 --> 00:52:09.780
I'm not sure who is going to deliver these things.
1217
00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:10.920
Dawson, you have those?
1218
00:52:10.960 --> 00:52:12.099
Yeah, I got them. Yeah.
1219
00:52:12.179 --> 00:52:14.179
Remember back in the Loveline days, you guys get questions
1220
00:52:14.219 --> 00:52:14.599
by fax.
1221
00:52:15.559 --> 00:52:16.840
Oh, yeah.
1222
00:52:17.260 --> 00:52:18.900
Right when I started working there, it was just when
1223
00:52:18.960 --> 00:52:21.070
email was sort of, you know, becoming everywhere.
1224
00:52:21.150 --> 00:52:22.750
People would fax in their questions.
1225
00:52:22.769 --> 00:52:23.750
We got a question by fax.
1226
00:52:24.070 --> 00:52:24.489
Yeah.
1227
00:52:25.369 --> 00:52:29.909
Loveline did not have a CD player when we were
1228
00:52:29.929 --> 00:52:30.690
at Westwood One.
1229
00:52:31.150 --> 00:52:31.949
Hmm.
1230
00:52:31.969 --> 00:52:34.210
And not because they hadn't been invented, but it was
1231
00:52:34.230 --> 00:52:36.570
because it was Loveline. You literally could not pop in
1232
00:52:36.610 --> 00:52:39.480
a CD and hear something over the air. They did
1233
00:52:39.519 --> 00:52:44.280
not have a CD player. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Westwood One
1234
00:52:44.340 --> 00:52:48.599
is a piece of shit horrible company but anyway god
1235
00:52:48.639 --> 00:52:52.659
bless them hope they're doing great anyway where were.
1236
00:52:52.519 --> 00:52:54.860
We now if uh if anyone does have a question
1237
00:52:56.320 --> 00:52:58.780
if anyone does have a question for adam just email
1238
00:52:58.840 --> 00:53:03.539
it to quest to questions at adam carolla.com that's how
1239
00:53:03.559 --> 00:53:07.559
we got these this is from scott harlan your neglected
1240
00:53:07.639 --> 00:53:10.860
childhood plays a big role in your comedy personality and
1241
00:53:10.900 --> 00:53:14.190
who you are today A genie appears before you and
1242
00:53:14.250 --> 00:53:17.349
offers you a magic pill. If you take the pill,
1243
00:53:17.869 --> 00:53:21.199
you would have had a normal Brian Bishop and Alison
1244
00:53:21.280 --> 00:53:27.000
Rose type of upbringing. She had a great upbringing. In exchange,
1245
00:53:27.039 --> 00:53:30.400
you would give up your fame and fortune and would
1246
00:53:30.639 --> 00:53:33.590
instead be living a civilian adult life.
1247
00:53:34.329 --> 00:53:35.429
Do you take the pill?
1248
00:53:35.449 --> 00:53:36.110
Complacent.
1249
00:53:36.469 --> 00:53:44.019
Mm-hmm. Hot Barbara Eden genie or Robin Williams from Aladdin?
1250
00:53:44.219 --> 00:53:47.860
Let's go Barbara Eden. Oh, okay. Well, that's tough now.
1251
00:53:47.960 --> 00:53:51.219
Because there's two kinds of genies. There's big husky dude genies.
1252
00:53:51.280 --> 00:53:51.559
Right.
1253
00:53:51.619 --> 00:53:53.179
And then there's hot chick genies.
1254
00:53:53.219 --> 00:53:55.099
Yeah, not the one in Wishmaster either.
1255
00:53:55.440 --> 00:53:58.909
Yeah, there's no in-between genies. Like, how about that genie? Eh,
1256
00:53:59.139 --> 00:54:00.210
average build. Right.
1257
00:54:00.369 --> 00:54:00.769
Regular dude.
1258
00:54:00.789 --> 00:54:01.610
Great personality.
1259
00:54:01.909 --> 00:54:03.329
Yeah. Nah, there's weird.
1260
00:54:03.349 --> 00:54:03.969
There's two varieties.
1261
00:54:04.010 --> 00:54:05.789
Huge weird genie and then chick genie.
1262
00:54:06.110 --> 00:54:06.610
Yeah, Shaq.
1263
00:54:07.489 --> 00:54:07.829
Yeah.
1264
00:54:08.070 --> 00:54:11.289
That's so gay of you.
1265
00:54:12.829 --> 00:54:17.610
You know, I'm trying to figure this out. I didn't
1266
00:54:17.659 --> 00:54:21.480
grow up in an abusive environment or anything. I just
1267
00:54:21.519 --> 00:54:24.500
grew up with sort of laissez-faire parents that did not...
1268
00:54:24.440 --> 00:54:27.679
I was never heard. So I had a lot of
1269
00:54:27.780 --> 00:54:31.780
opinions and was never heard. On the other hand, there's
1270
00:54:31.820 --> 00:54:35.909
a lot of comedians who... grew up and I guess
1271
00:54:35.949 --> 00:54:38.699
this creates a sort of obnoxious comedian, but if you
1272
00:54:38.760 --> 00:54:41.820
listen to like, all right, quiet, I can hear stuff
1273
00:54:42.789 --> 00:54:47.269
bleeding through things. Um, If you ever hear like Billy
1274
00:54:47.369 --> 00:54:51.070
Crystal talk, he'll say, oh, I'd get the entire family.
1275
00:54:51.190 --> 00:54:53.530
Mickey Mantle, Mickey Mantle, Mickey Mantle.
1276
00:54:53.570 --> 00:54:57.010
The entire family would come together on Fridays for dinner
1277
00:54:57.030 --> 00:54:59.739
at my house, and then I would entertain them by
1278
00:54:59.800 --> 00:55:03.079
doing my impressions, and they would all give me a quarter,
1279
00:55:03.619 --> 00:55:06.599
and they would applaud. And there's a comedic monster that
1280
00:55:06.619 --> 00:55:10.199
can be created as well by having too much support.
1281
00:55:10.659 --> 00:55:14.000
They're actually people that aren't very funny who think they're
1282
00:55:14.039 --> 00:55:15.000
funny because someone.
1283
00:55:15.500 --> 00:55:16.280
I didn't say that.
1284
00:55:16.360 --> 00:55:18.219
No one pulled them aside and didn't tell them they
1285
00:55:18.260 --> 00:55:23.010
weren't funny. You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to think.
1286
00:55:23.429 --> 00:55:26.130
Definitely not funny. Fire in the belly.
1287
00:55:27.420 --> 00:55:30.969
And, you know, honestly, I'm sort of semi dead inside
1288
00:55:31.309 --> 00:55:34.570
from my upbringing, which is not a good thing. I mean,
1289
00:55:34.590 --> 00:55:37.090
it's not a good thing for my relationships and my
1290
00:55:37.190 --> 00:55:40.239
wife and my kids and that kind of thing. So
1291
00:55:40.500 --> 00:55:45.199
that's a that's that's definitely one. That's a minus because.
1292
00:55:45.119 --> 00:55:47.360
I just have a you'd rather be alive inside.
1293
00:55:47.940 --> 00:55:50.280
Yeah, I'd rather be alive inside. I just got this.
1294
00:55:50.880 --> 00:55:51.469
Given the choice.
1295
00:55:51.699 --> 00:55:54.929
Yeah. And, you know, look, certain people are just wired
1296
00:55:54.969 --> 00:55:56.969
the way they're wired anyway. Like, I don't know how
1297
00:55:57.010 --> 00:56:00.500
much of it is nature or nurture. So I'd like
1298
00:56:00.639 --> 00:56:04.880
to think. I mean, my family did not instill a
1299
00:56:04.949 --> 00:56:08.039
sense of humor in me. They just gave me no
1300
00:56:08.119 --> 00:56:11.079
self-esteem and never listened to a fucking thing I said.
1301
00:56:11.119 --> 00:56:13.260
But they never said, here's how you put together a
1302
00:56:13.340 --> 00:56:15.880
joke or turn a phrase. So it's not like they
1303
00:56:15.920 --> 00:56:18.179
get credit for making me funny just because I was ignored.
1304
00:56:18.340 --> 00:56:21.289
Right. I'm sure half the people in prison just got ignored.
1305
00:56:21.409 --> 00:56:21.550
Right.
1306
00:56:21.570 --> 00:56:24.210
Like maybe you just would have ended up funny but happier.
1307
00:56:25.349 --> 00:56:29.550
Right. Because maybe the funny... Maybe the funny was just
1308
00:56:29.590 --> 00:56:33.769
like an athletic ability. Like parents ignoring you can't take
1309
00:56:33.909 --> 00:56:34.630
away athletic ability.
1310
00:56:34.650 --> 00:56:37.599
Funny is not a choice. You either are or you aren't.
1311
00:56:37.719 --> 00:56:38.840
I wouldn't be able to complain.
1312
00:56:38.880 --> 00:56:40.909
I wouldn't have the complaint or I wouldn't have that
1313
00:56:41.010 --> 00:56:44.530
never been heard, not being heard. My childhood was this
1314
00:56:44.710 --> 00:56:48.750
weird not being heard sort of bad dream of sitting
1315
00:56:49.210 --> 00:56:51.949
with my mom and or later my dad or my
1316
00:56:51.989 --> 00:56:54.800
stepdad or something that was like doesn't talk. You know, no,
1317
00:56:54.800 --> 00:56:57.199
my family really talks. Or then my grandmother would talk
1318
00:56:57.260 --> 00:57:00.519
and she would sort of talk over you. And maybe
1319
00:57:00.539 --> 00:57:03.900
I'd lose that component. So the question is a little
1320
00:57:03.920 --> 00:57:08.059
bit flawed because I could have a very nurturing, loving
1321
00:57:09.300 --> 00:57:11.900
parents that were very supportive. I don't think my dad
1322
00:57:11.960 --> 00:57:13.840
going to a bunch of high school football games would
1323
00:57:13.860 --> 00:57:16.179
have stopped me from having a sense of humor. Right.
1324
00:57:16.449 --> 00:57:20.210
But I wouldn't have the same of not being heard complain. Right.
1325
00:57:20.230 --> 00:57:22.210
You might not have the motor to be heard.
1326
00:57:23.349 --> 00:57:27.050
Either way, even though I'm dead inside, I'm glad to
1327
00:57:27.110 --> 00:57:28.570
be where I am right now.
1328
00:57:28.670 --> 00:57:31.550
So I don't think I'd go back and fuck with fate.
1329
00:57:32.289 --> 00:57:32.789
See what I'm saying?
1330
00:57:33.389 --> 00:57:35.030
I don't know. What do you guys think? Thoughts?
1331
00:57:35.190 --> 00:57:36.230
A lot of it's nature, I think.
1332
00:57:36.610 --> 00:57:40.030
Not so much for the comedy aspect, but you've commented,
1333
00:57:40.090 --> 00:57:42.829
especially when I was diagnosed with my brain tumor, that
1334
00:57:42.849 --> 00:57:44.369
I have a very sunny outlook on life.
1335
00:57:44.429 --> 00:57:45.030
You know what I mean?
1336
00:57:45.050 --> 00:57:49.119
I delivered the news to you in a very metered fashion.
1337
00:57:49.360 --> 00:57:51.000
And not to say that I was raised in an
1338
00:57:51.099 --> 00:57:52.019
everything's going to be okay.
1339
00:57:52.039 --> 00:57:53.860
I didn't say sunny. I said delusional.
1340
00:57:53.900 --> 00:57:54.380
Okay, yeah.
1341
00:57:54.599 --> 00:57:55.179
Whatever it is.
1342
00:57:55.599 --> 00:57:57.219
Now, my parents were on top of me all the time,
1343
00:57:57.260 --> 00:57:59.280
like any good parents, to make sure you do this
1344
00:57:59.340 --> 00:58:01.170
and you're not doing this and whatever. And if you
1345
00:58:01.190 --> 00:58:03.409
don't do this, this will happen. And my whole life
1346
00:58:03.429 --> 00:58:06.250
was just sort of the way I was just born,
1347
00:58:06.289 --> 00:58:08.110
I guess. Like, eh, it'll take care of itself. You know,
1348
00:58:08.179 --> 00:58:10.760
college applications or grades or whatever it was. Like, eh,
1349
00:58:11.000 --> 00:58:12.820
don't worry too much about it. You know, my parents
1350
00:58:12.860 --> 00:58:13.760
worried much more.
1351
00:58:13.639 --> 00:58:14.059
Than I did.
1352
00:58:14.460 --> 00:58:17.480
There's a lot of, and we all know different types
1353
00:58:17.539 --> 00:58:20.820
of people, happy people and morose people. And we know
1354
00:58:21.280 --> 00:58:25.340
people that are, you know, animated and people that are quiet.
1355
00:58:25.400 --> 00:58:30.429
And it's really hard to figure out. I mean, just
1356
00:58:30.510 --> 00:58:33.250
like sitting down and interviewing Mike Judge, you know, his
1357
00:58:33.349 --> 00:58:36.760
dad's an archaeologist. He has a physics degree. He seems
1358
00:58:36.800 --> 00:58:40.599
very quiet, yet he does this crazy sort of scatological
1359
00:58:40.699 --> 00:58:43.940
comedy for a living. On the other hand, if you
1360
00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:46.219
just met him at a party, you'd have no idea
1361
00:58:46.260 --> 00:58:47.079
what he does.
1362
00:58:47.099 --> 00:58:49.539
But he played in it.
1363
00:58:50.489 --> 00:58:53.269
Blues band for a number of years like plays the
1364
00:58:53.349 --> 00:58:55.599
bass you know like i i don't know how the
1365
00:58:55.659 --> 00:58:58.800
fuck mike judge becomes mike judge i don't know how
1366
00:58:58.840 --> 00:59:02.000
that works you know worked yeah i know your dad's
1367
00:59:02.039 --> 00:59:04.300
an archaeologist like how do you fuck that up you
1368
00:59:04.340 --> 00:59:10.619
know so i'm starting to think a lot more nature
1369
00:59:10.699 --> 00:59:14.059
than nurture, especially since I have these two twins that
1370
00:59:14.099 --> 00:59:17.420
are wildly, wildly different. So I'm just going to assume
1371
00:59:17.480 --> 00:59:19.940
I would have been who I would have been anyway and.
1372
00:59:21.510 --> 00:59:22.230
Not take the pill.
1373
00:59:22.690 --> 00:59:25.269
Plus, the question's flawed because genies don't give you a pill.
1374
00:59:25.309 --> 00:59:26.369
They give you three wishes.
1375
00:59:26.789 --> 00:59:27.070
Yeah.
1376
00:59:27.090 --> 00:59:28.070
I think we all know that.
1377
00:59:28.349 --> 00:59:32.159
Yeah, I know. And then, uh, yeah. Why would it,
1378
00:59:32.170 --> 00:59:33.889
why do we need a genie to give you a pill?
1379
00:59:33.969 --> 00:59:34.150
Right.
1380
00:59:34.170 --> 00:59:35.239
You can just go to your doctor.
1381
00:59:36.449 --> 00:59:37.820
Fat nurse could hand you a pill.
1382
00:59:37.900 --> 00:59:38.239
Yeah. Yeah.
1383
00:59:38.460 --> 00:59:39.199
That's a good point.
1384
00:59:39.219 --> 00:59:39.880
All right.
1385
00:59:40.219 --> 00:59:40.719
Next question.
1386
00:59:40.980 --> 00:59:43.780
When you pee in the sink, do you wash it
1387
00:59:43.820 --> 00:59:45.719
down with a little faucet water or do.
1388
00:59:45.659 --> 00:59:46.900
You let it be?
1389
00:59:46.920 --> 00:59:49.960
That's what Jesse in Richmond, Virginia wants to know.
1390
00:59:51.059 --> 00:59:51.780
What about it, Allison?
1391
00:59:52.659 --> 00:59:53.980
I rinse it out. Yeah.
1392
00:59:54.800 --> 00:59:55.360
Great Beatles.
1393
00:59:55.469 --> 00:59:59.650
I don't let it be. Um, Oh, no. I mean,
1394
00:59:59.670 --> 01:00:03.409
that's still the let me let me be perfectly clear here.
1395
01:00:03.510 --> 01:00:05.710
When I pee in the sink and I pee in
1396
01:00:05.730 --> 01:00:11.650
the sink exclusively, exclusively. I don't know when the last time.
1397
01:00:11.829 --> 01:00:14.110
I mean, listen, if I'm taking a dump, I don't
1398
01:00:14.230 --> 01:00:15.829
get up to go pee in the sink and then
1399
01:00:15.869 --> 01:00:17.679
go back and sit down on a commode and finish
1400
01:00:17.719 --> 01:00:19.739
my crap. You know, I understand. That's not.
1401
01:00:19.940 --> 01:00:20.719
That'd be dedication.
1402
01:00:20.739 --> 01:00:23.400
That would be dedication. It's your craft. I would shit myself.
1403
01:00:23.480 --> 01:00:25.400
I would respect you more if you did do that.
1404
01:00:25.420 --> 01:00:26.739
Sorry to say.
1405
01:00:26.780 --> 01:00:28.579
When I pee in the sink, I always rinse it
1406
01:00:28.599 --> 01:00:31.679
down with a little water and hit the edge there,
1407
01:00:31.699 --> 01:00:32.760
you know, slash it around.
1408
01:00:32.780 --> 01:00:34.809
Do you aim for the drain?
1409
01:00:35.860 --> 01:00:38.139
Yeah aiming yeah i do every once in a while
1410
01:00:38.179 --> 01:00:40.679
depending on if there's some uh you know brian you
1411
01:00:40.719 --> 01:00:43.199
know when you shave the you'll leave that whisker ring
1412
01:00:43.239 --> 01:00:46.000
sometimes around you know go ahead and take some of
1413
01:00:46.019 --> 01:00:49.340
those whiskers with me but uh not peeing the sink
1414
01:00:50.050 --> 01:00:51.869
and uh then i rinse and i give it a
1415
01:00:51.869 --> 01:00:54.010
little shot of water and then i'll give my hand
1416
01:00:54.050 --> 01:00:55.750
a little shot of water and hit the deck a
1417
01:00:55.789 --> 01:00:57.989
little just in case anything dribbled down the edge or
1418
01:00:58.050 --> 01:01:01.210
anything i can't i can't leave any tracks you know it's.
1419
01:01:01.150 --> 01:01:03.750
Come up before but Why peeing in the sink? All
1420
01:01:04.150 --> 01:01:06.210
you're describing sounds like way more effort.
1421
01:01:08.030 --> 01:01:12.889
No. With the hand rinsing? Half of it is because
1422
01:01:12.969 --> 01:01:13.429
I can.
1423
01:01:13.449 --> 01:01:14.389
I like it.
1424
01:01:14.630 --> 01:01:14.929
All right.
1425
01:01:15.750 --> 01:01:16.289
That's valid.
1426
01:01:16.389 --> 01:01:17.880
It lets me know two things.
1427
01:01:18.639 --> 01:01:19.760
You showed us sinkers, boss.
1428
01:01:19.880 --> 01:01:23.579
Three things. Three things. A, it lets me know I'm
1429
01:01:23.619 --> 01:01:24.000
a dude.
1430
01:01:24.869 --> 01:01:25.329
Yeah. Yeah.
1431
01:01:25.349 --> 01:01:27.190
Because if I tried it, it wouldn't go well.
1432
01:01:27.250 --> 01:01:30.510
I'm telling you, being a dude, you know, that has
1433
01:01:30.570 --> 01:01:34.449
its perks. It has its cons. You know, you pay
1434
01:01:34.510 --> 01:01:36.889
more for car insurance. You don't live quite as long,
1435
01:01:36.989 --> 01:01:39.719
but you can just literally take a piss anywhere you want.
1436
01:01:40.320 --> 01:01:43.800
And I'm saying as a dude, once a month, go
1437
01:01:43.860 --> 01:01:45.239
out in the yard, take a piss.
1438
01:01:46.519 --> 01:01:48.960
It's a perk. You should exercise it every once in
1439
01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:49.219
a while.
1440
01:01:49.360 --> 01:01:50.579
I have yet to pee in my new yard.
1441
01:01:51.119 --> 01:01:53.429
Oh, man, that's the greatest thing about home ownership.
1442
01:01:53.489 --> 01:01:55.670
There's a little secluded part in the back, too, where it's, like,
1443
01:01:55.710 --> 01:01:56.510
perfect for doing that.
1444
01:01:56.550 --> 01:01:58.150
Do it. All right.
1445
01:01:58.449 --> 01:02:00.090
I'm sure that's what Christy envisioned.
1446
01:02:01.590 --> 01:02:10.010
No, but it's really, it's like the hanging of the fucking,
1447
01:02:10.119 --> 01:02:12.719
what is that scroll you choose hanging up there? The Torah?
1448
01:02:12.739 --> 01:02:13.239
The Torah.
1449
01:02:13.599 --> 01:02:19.500
Thank you. Yeah, what is that called?
1450
01:02:20.380 --> 01:02:21.699
Yeah, I'll come up with the name.
1451
01:02:21.780 --> 01:02:22.760
Oh, the mezuzah?
1452
01:02:22.780 --> 01:02:23.400
The mezuzah.
1453
01:02:23.420 --> 01:02:26.920
It's like the hanging of the mezuzah. It's like they
1454
01:02:26.960 --> 01:02:28.659
put it in the door jam. They put a little
1455
01:02:28.679 --> 01:02:31.280
bit of skook. And the hanging of the mezuzah.
1456
01:02:32.039 --> 01:02:32.840
This is.
1457
01:02:32.900 --> 01:02:35.139
I brought my Facts of Life DVDs into my new place.
1458
01:02:35.519 --> 01:02:39.139
Yeah, that's the hanging of the mezuzah. Taking the piss
1459
01:02:39.360 --> 01:02:42.210
in the yard is the Goyim version of the hanging
1460
01:02:42.230 --> 01:02:45.300
of the mezuzah. It's like Hey, this is my land.
1461
01:02:45.360 --> 01:02:47.739
I've blessed my land now. Let all who come here
1462
01:02:48.239 --> 01:02:50.800
take a piss in the yard. It lets you know, A,
1463
01:02:51.070 --> 01:02:53.469
you're a dude, and B, you own a home. Like,
1464
01:02:53.489 --> 01:02:55.730
you couldn't do that in someone else's house or an apartment.
1465
01:02:55.769 --> 01:02:56.889
You'd get fucking yelled at.
1466
01:02:56.969 --> 01:02:59.690
Now, wouldn't taking a dump in your yard really christen
1467
01:02:59.730 --> 01:03:00.150
the land?
1468
01:03:01.130 --> 01:03:03.570
That's a lot of work. That's a lot of work.
1469
01:03:03.710 --> 01:03:09.519
And again, we're looking here, we're looking for... really just
1470
01:03:09.619 --> 01:03:13.619
a sort of ceremonial thing. Now, whizzing in the sink
1471
01:03:14.119 --> 01:03:17.179
lets me know, A, I'm a dude. B, I own
1472
01:03:17.219 --> 01:03:22.969
a sink. That's nice. C, I'm taller than six foot.
1473
01:03:22.989 --> 01:03:24.150
A blessing.
1474
01:03:24.510 --> 01:03:26.650
You know, if I was in a wheelchair or five
1475
01:03:26.670 --> 01:03:29.630
foot five, I could not pee in said sink. And
1476
01:03:29.650 --> 01:03:32.570
it lets me do things like brush my teeth and
1477
01:03:32.650 --> 01:03:38.110
or shave simultaneously. See what I'm saying? Multitasker. And you
1478
01:03:38.150 --> 01:03:40.449
never get that. You see, the whiz in the toilet,
1479
01:03:41.579 --> 01:03:42.800
it gets all over the place.
1480
01:03:42.900 --> 01:03:45.599
It ricochets. It can hit the seat. Sometimes you've got
1481
01:03:45.619 --> 01:03:46.639
to wipe the bowl down.
1482
01:03:46.659 --> 01:03:49.179
What this is telling me is that you're not watching
1483
01:03:49.340 --> 01:03:51.690
yourself pee in the sink if you're shaving at the
1484
01:03:51.730 --> 01:03:54.880
same time. And there's probably less, like you're saying, less
1485
01:03:54.980 --> 01:03:56.980
mess if you're peeing in the sink and not looking
1486
01:03:57.000 --> 01:03:58.320
than if you're peeing in a toilet and not looking.
1487
01:03:58.340 --> 01:04:02.239
Also, in the morning, with the morning wood, very difficult
1488
01:04:02.280 --> 01:04:04.199
to get that aim down in a toilet. And again,
1489
01:04:04.920 --> 01:04:09.829
being 6'2 and being of average size in the pecker department,
1490
01:04:10.130 --> 01:04:11.650
my penis is a good three and a half feet
1491
01:04:11.690 --> 01:04:13.170
away from the water.
1492
01:04:13.949 --> 01:04:15.989
You know what I'm saying? It's not dangling down into
1493
01:04:16.010 --> 01:04:16.449
the water.
1494
01:04:16.630 --> 01:04:19.019
Another factor before you're lasik. Bad eyesight.
1495
01:04:19.039 --> 01:04:20.860
Bad eyesight. That's another factor.
1496
01:04:20.900 --> 01:04:24.000
Difficult, yeah. So all the things that conspire to have
1497
01:04:24.059 --> 01:04:26.639
me pee in the sink. And then everyone is grossed
1498
01:04:26.719 --> 01:04:28.880
out by, fuck.
1499
01:04:28.739 --> 01:04:29.840
Off, number one.
1500
01:04:30.460 --> 01:04:32.559
Number two, I rinse it out.
1501
01:04:32.739 --> 01:04:34.739
I mean, you wouldn't know. You wouldn't walk into the
1502
01:04:34.780 --> 01:04:35.960
bathroom and go, oh, man.
1503
01:04:36.000 --> 01:04:37.059
He's peeing in the sink.
1504
01:04:37.139 --> 01:04:41.500
Even if you ate asparagus? Ooh, that's tough. That's tough.
1505
01:04:41.599 --> 01:04:44.280
Yeah, it comes up from time to time. And then,
1506
01:04:44.300 --> 01:04:45.820
of course, the kids run in every once in a
1507
01:04:45.820 --> 01:04:48.340
while and then run out screaming and saying, get to
1508
01:04:48.380 --> 01:04:51.480
my nanny. I just sort of pretend like she didn't
1509
01:04:51.519 --> 01:04:53.179
hear it, you know, when we see each other next.
1510
01:04:53.659 --> 01:04:55.860
But, you know, it's a time saver. And it's why
1511
01:04:55.880 --> 01:04:56.599
I get the big bucks.
1512
01:04:57.420 --> 01:05:00.059
Brian knows. That's exactly right.
1513
01:05:00.480 --> 01:05:00.980
That's right.
1514
01:05:01.820 --> 01:05:05.050
That's why you get the big bucks. All right.
1515
01:05:05.329 --> 01:05:07.880
One more question before we bring Zane in.
1516
01:05:07.889 --> 01:05:08.289
All right.
1517
01:05:08.309 --> 01:05:13.260
This is from Iowan Chef. He says, doing some home remodeling,
1518
01:05:13.619 --> 01:05:17.039
and I have reached my fucking limit with flathead screws.
1519
01:05:17.699 --> 01:05:21.230
Why do we even have these fucking things? They're miserably
1520
01:05:21.449 --> 01:05:26.130
inefficient little cocksuckers that need to go the way of
1521
01:05:26.190 --> 01:05:29.130
the penny and just fucking die out.
1522
01:05:29.150 --> 01:05:29.219
Wow.
1523
01:05:29.869 --> 01:05:30.170
Yes?
1524
01:05:31.090 --> 01:05:35.889
Hmm. He says flathead screws. I'm pretty sure he means
1525
01:05:35.989 --> 01:05:41.369
slathead screws, because there's... bugle head and there's flat head
1526
01:05:41.829 --> 01:05:44.969
and there's pan head. There's a few different types of
1527
01:05:44.989 --> 01:05:47.110
screw heads. I'm learning a lot already. There is no
1528
01:05:47.150 --> 01:05:51.659
racial bigotry here. Flathead screws, nothing wrong with a flathead screw.
1529
01:05:51.739 --> 01:05:56.920
He's saying a slot head screw versus a square drive,
1530
01:05:56.980 --> 01:05:59.079
a star drive, or a Phillips head.
1531
01:05:59.820 --> 01:06:00.920
I'm guessing.
1532
01:06:02.000 --> 01:06:03.159
Oh, boy.
1533
01:06:03.400 --> 01:06:04.260
Flathead screws.
1534
01:06:06.480 --> 01:06:10.639
I don't know why you'd have difficulty with a flathead screw.
1535
01:06:10.679 --> 01:06:13.500
I've got to tell you, things look pretty slow right here,
1536
01:06:13.519 --> 01:06:15.619
but I think it's going to pick up.
1537
01:06:16.019 --> 01:06:18.400
You don't have to buy a flathead screw.
1538
01:06:18.480 --> 01:06:21.880
You can just buy a non-flathead screw if you're talking
1539
01:06:21.920 --> 01:06:24.900
about flathead screws. But if you're talking about slothead screws,
1540
01:06:25.280 --> 01:06:27.989
you don't have to buy a slothead screw. You can
1541
01:06:28.050 --> 01:06:29.300
buy a Phillips head screw.
1542
01:06:29.389 --> 01:06:31.809
Now this is fun.
1543
01:06:31.889 --> 01:06:36.329
Square drive or star drive? I'm talking about both, which
1544
01:06:36.429 --> 01:06:39.159
is a screw has an end and that end is
1545
01:06:39.300 --> 01:06:42.840
meant to accept a male end, which would either be
1546
01:06:42.860 --> 01:06:44.400
a Phillips star shaped.
1547
01:06:45.079 --> 01:06:48.900
Or, you know, cross-shaped. Or they have the star variety.
1548
01:06:48.920 --> 01:06:49.699
This is great.
1549
01:06:49.719 --> 01:06:51.500
Or they have the square variety.
1550
01:06:51.539 --> 01:06:54.079
Depends what kind of penis you're putting in it.
1551
01:06:54.360 --> 01:06:54.699
That's right.
1552
01:06:54.719 --> 01:06:58.579
All of this almost too exciting to bear. So I
1553
01:06:58.619 --> 01:07:00.300
don't know what the issue is. Now, the only time
1554
01:07:00.360 --> 01:07:03.530
you would run into a slot head screw is if
1555
01:07:03.570 --> 01:07:06.230
it was a pre-existing screw. I don't know how we're
1556
01:07:06.250 --> 01:07:06.969
going to top this.
1557
01:07:06.989 --> 01:07:09.250
Can we see a photo of a slot head screw, please?
1558
01:07:09.670 --> 01:07:11.590
You don't know what a fucking slot head screw is?
1559
01:07:12.010 --> 01:07:13.489
Well, I do, but I don't understand why he'd be
1560
01:07:13.570 --> 01:07:14.110
angry at that.
1561
01:07:15.929 --> 01:07:21.739
All right. Okay, time has passed. No, because the screwdriver
1562
01:07:21.860 --> 01:07:24.460
slips out of a slot head screw.
1563
01:07:24.480 --> 01:07:25.239
Oh.
1564
01:07:25.719 --> 01:07:27.619
You would run into it if you were doing a
1565
01:07:27.900 --> 01:07:30.820
renovation on an old house and you were taking old
1566
01:07:30.960 --> 01:07:33.699
hinges off the jam and the house was built in
1567
01:07:33.719 --> 01:07:35.929
the 40s and it had the slot head screw and
1568
01:07:35.949 --> 01:07:36.929
you had to fish.
1569
01:07:36.710 --> 01:07:38.530
Them out using another slot head.
1570
01:07:38.969 --> 01:07:39.090
Oh.
1571
01:07:39.469 --> 01:07:43.769
There's... Now, you can show a flat head... And that,
1572
01:07:43.789 --> 01:07:47.889
to me, is flathead, but it's also maybe a panhead screw.
1573
01:07:48.550 --> 01:07:51.260
This is very interesting.
1574
01:07:53.960 --> 01:07:56.659
You might as well show star drives and square drives
1575
01:07:56.719 --> 01:07:58.059
and all that kind of shit, too.
1576
01:07:58.159 --> 01:07:59.860
Use a magnetic cartridge, people.
1577
01:08:00.039 --> 01:08:02.619
I was trying to put together a thing that I bought,
1578
01:08:02.760 --> 01:08:05.719
and I didn't have a screwdriver. And I tried all
1579
01:08:05.760 --> 01:08:09.349
sorts of things, and none of them worked. Finally, a
1580
01:08:09.429 --> 01:08:10.090
spoon worked.
1581
01:08:10.449 --> 01:08:11.909
Mm-hmm. Wow.
1582
01:08:11.929 --> 01:08:13.469
But it took a long time, and I hurt myself.
1583
01:08:14.429 --> 01:08:16.569
Now we're taking a look at a machine screw that
1584
01:08:16.590 --> 01:08:19.869
has a slot head in it. I'm assuming this guy
1585
01:08:19.909 --> 01:08:23.869
meant slot head. If it's flat head, I'm utterly confused,
1586
01:08:24.069 --> 01:08:27.229
and now he can just go buy, again, any other kind.
1587
01:08:27.449 --> 01:08:30.449
Use the old pan head. That's a nice-looking screw.
1588
01:08:30.470 --> 01:08:32.250
I think what he's saying is, doesn't any screw that
1589
01:08:32.310 --> 01:08:35.630
works with a Phillips head screwdriver work better than a
1590
01:08:35.729 --> 01:08:37.090
flat head screwdriver screw?
1591
01:08:37.109 --> 01:08:37.510
Yes.
1592
01:08:37.529 --> 01:08:38.649
It would seem logically, yes.
1593
01:08:39.479 --> 01:08:39.720
Yes.
1594
01:08:39.960 --> 01:08:43.220
When you use a flathead and a slot, when you
1595
01:08:43.260 --> 01:08:47.680
use a slotted screw, the screwdriver slides out of it
1596
01:08:47.859 --> 01:08:48.199
all the time.
1597
01:08:48.229 --> 01:08:49.949
We still have those. Yeah.
1598
01:08:49.989 --> 01:08:51.329
Why haven't they gone the way of the pen?
1599
01:08:51.350 --> 01:08:51.770
I have.
1600
01:08:51.930 --> 01:08:55.069
So there's your square drive. You can see the square
1601
01:08:55.109 --> 01:08:58.189
drive there. I don't know where the fuck the star
1602
01:08:58.229 --> 01:08:58.810
drive is.
1603
01:08:58.829 --> 01:08:59.949
The carriage bolt is.
1604
01:08:59.970 --> 01:09:03.109
The one. Anyway, I don't know where my star drive is.
1605
01:09:03.109 --> 01:09:05.970
Where does an Allen wrench go? There's no Allen in there.
1606
01:09:05.989 --> 01:09:07.109
There's some hex ones.
1607
01:09:07.760 --> 01:09:08.199
You get it.
1608
01:09:08.729 --> 01:09:09.060
All right.
1609
01:09:09.449 --> 01:09:11.109
Good enough? Are we cool?
1610
01:09:11.640 --> 01:09:12.319
Yeah, we're cool.
1611
01:09:12.460 --> 01:09:15.399
Anyone else with other questions for Adam, send them to
1612
01:09:15.479 --> 01:09:17.659
questions at adamcarolla.com.
1613
01:09:18.039 --> 01:09:18.159
Yeah.
1614
01:09:20.729 --> 01:09:23.069
Yeah. Welcome back.
1615
01:09:24.180 --> 01:09:25.760
Good to see you, Zane Busby.
1616
01:09:25.779 --> 01:09:27.140
Oh, good to be here.
1617
01:09:27.159 --> 01:09:34.920
Director, humanitarian. Zane has herself a little website. It's SurvivorMitzvah.org.
1618
01:09:35.220 --> 01:09:39.090
She has a humanitarian project and is going to be
1619
01:09:39.100 --> 01:09:40.810
doing a documentary on it soon.
1620
01:09:40.829 --> 01:09:42.189
But tell me about the project.
1621
01:09:42.770 --> 01:09:46.369
It's called Survivor Mitzvah Project. And I'm a comedy director, actually.
1622
01:09:46.430 --> 01:09:49.550
So on a hiatus, I went to Eastern Europe to...
1623
01:09:49.989 --> 01:09:52.439
Just check out where my grandparents were born. And I
1624
01:09:52.520 --> 01:09:55.720
found their Holocaust survivors in their 80s and 90s who
1625
01:09:55.739 --> 01:09:59.199
were living in terrible conditions with no heat and no
1626
01:09:59.279 --> 01:10:01.699
one to help them, no one to chop firewood, living
1627
01:10:01.720 --> 01:10:02.380
in these little huts.
1628
01:10:02.399 --> 01:10:03.989
Yeah, but they just feel like they're used to it.
1629
01:10:04.239 --> 01:10:04.739
Yeah.
1630
01:10:05.020 --> 01:10:06.640
If anyone could endure that.
1631
01:10:06.899 --> 01:10:07.300
It's true.
1632
01:10:07.520 --> 01:10:09.859
It's really the rich people who grew up pampered and
1633
01:10:09.899 --> 01:10:10.479
never went.
1634
01:10:10.500 --> 01:10:11.380
That's exactly right.
1635
01:10:11.720 --> 01:10:13.899
You know, never involved the Holocaust and need our help
1636
01:10:13.920 --> 01:10:17.180
is what I'm thinking. Because it's a juxtaposition, you know
1637
01:10:17.199 --> 01:10:17.420
what I mean?
1638
01:10:17.439 --> 01:10:17.539
Right.
1639
01:10:18.869 --> 01:10:21.470
So all these people that have suffered in the past,
1640
01:10:21.630 --> 01:10:22.850
and now they're suffering.
1641
01:10:22.890 --> 01:10:26.189
They haven't even gotten a break 70 years after the
1642
01:10:26.210 --> 01:10:27.989
start of the war. And they're great people, and they're
1643
01:10:28.029 --> 01:10:32.939
not weird, and they're not angry. They're wonderful people. So
1644
01:10:32.960 --> 01:10:34.720
we said, no, we can help them.
1645
01:10:34.800 --> 01:10:35.399
We're going to help them.
1646
01:10:35.420 --> 01:10:36.960
So we came back here and started to do things
1647
01:10:36.979 --> 01:10:39.500
to help them. And it's been a grassroots project totally,
1648
01:10:39.520 --> 01:10:41.819
and I've gotten a lot of comedians and friends of
1649
01:10:41.880 --> 01:10:44.050
mine to read their letters and raise money for them.
1650
01:10:44.090 --> 01:10:45.569
So it's great. And we go back.
1651
01:10:46.560 --> 01:10:48.619
Like Christmas Day, I'm going to go back to Latvia,
1652
01:10:49.210 --> 01:10:51.229
nice and warm, and I'm going to distribute the money
1653
01:10:51.250 --> 01:10:53.170
we raise, and people are going to read letters on
1654
01:10:53.229 --> 01:10:55.050
November 6th and raise money for them.
1655
01:10:55.090 --> 01:10:57.250
So it's a good thing.
1656
01:10:57.369 --> 01:10:59.010
Not if Jimmy Carter can help it.
1657
01:10:59.029 --> 01:11:01.789
He hates those Jews.
1658
01:11:01.850 --> 01:11:02.949
What happened to that guy?
1659
01:11:03.010 --> 01:11:03.649
He's not alone.
1660
01:11:03.949 --> 01:11:04.909
What happened to him?
1661
01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:09.000
I don't know what happened to him, you know?
1662
01:11:09.039 --> 01:11:13.399
I ask everyone, what happened with Israel and the Jews
1663
01:11:13.479 --> 01:11:15.220
and Hollywood Jews and the left?
1664
01:11:15.319 --> 01:11:18.229
When did we all... I'm not Jewish. I'm an atheist.
1665
01:11:18.310 --> 01:11:18.789
I don't really.
1666
01:11:18.810 --> 01:11:22.170
I don't have a dog in the fight. They're all
1667
01:11:22.210 --> 01:11:25.739
nuts as far as I'm concerned. And, you know... You know,
1668
01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:28.199
my feeling is all people that, look, whenever you get
1669
01:11:28.800 --> 01:11:31.189
knee deep into any religion, you're just a fucking idiot
1670
01:11:31.239 --> 01:11:33.170
to me. It's insane. And you get what you get,
1671
01:11:33.270 --> 01:11:36.510
like Muslim Jews. You know, the Muslims are insane. The
1672
01:11:36.529 --> 01:11:39.630
Jews are dumber because they're smart. Like the Jews are like,
1673
01:11:39.810 --> 01:11:42.090
I always say they're like. A guy who has a
1674
01:11:42.149 --> 01:11:44.460
fucking crazy roommate who likes to do a lot of
1675
01:11:44.520 --> 01:11:48.140
math and he collects knives. And you go, just fucking
1676
01:11:48.180 --> 01:11:51.319
move out, dude. Why should I move out? It's my
1677
01:11:51.359 --> 01:11:54.710
security deposit. I put the security deposit. And it's like, dude,
1678
01:11:54.930 --> 01:11:56.949
you're going to get stabbed. You're going to get stabbed.
1679
01:11:56.970 --> 01:11:58.789
That's why you should move out. Well, I'm not moving
1680
01:11:58.850 --> 01:12:00.949
out because it's my security department. Just fucking move out.
1681
01:12:01.920 --> 01:12:03.920
The Jews at least should be smart enough to just
1682
01:12:04.020 --> 01:12:07.220
clear out. But who gives a shit? They're living amongst
1683
01:12:07.479 --> 01:12:10.479
nut jobs. But why did who the fuck when you
1684
01:12:10.520 --> 01:12:13.630
take a look at that region, you're not going to
1685
01:12:13.689 --> 01:12:16.470
side with Israel. You're going to side with all the
1686
01:12:16.569 --> 01:12:20.840
crazy people who want them dead around them. I don't
1687
01:12:20.859 --> 01:12:23.510
understand it. And again, no, I don't have a Jew
1688
01:12:23.550 --> 01:12:26.010
in the fight. I don't. I'm just a fucking atheist
1689
01:12:26.029 --> 01:12:28.390
from North Hollywood. I can just sit there and look
1690
01:12:28.550 --> 01:12:30.890
at it and I can go, well, who's causing the
1691
01:12:30.949 --> 01:12:31.609
trouble here?
1692
01:12:32.189 --> 01:12:33.409
And it's not the Jews.
1693
01:12:33.489 --> 01:12:36.680
And why are why is Hollywood getting against why they
1694
01:12:36.699 --> 01:12:37.819
turn it against the Jews?
1695
01:12:38.380 --> 01:12:40.300
I'm a comedian. What do I know? I don't know
1696
01:12:40.340 --> 01:12:41.220
anything about this stuff.
1697
01:12:41.239 --> 01:12:42.399
Well, you travel around.
1698
01:12:42.460 --> 01:12:44.319
I do travel around. I do travel around.
1699
01:12:44.399 --> 01:12:48.310
You probably know more than most. What the fuck's wrong
1700
01:12:48.350 --> 01:12:49.630
with the Jews in this city?
1701
01:12:49.649 --> 01:12:50.949
I have no idea. I don't know.
1702
01:12:50.970 --> 01:12:53.510
I don't know. But was it this way 15 years ago?
1703
01:12:53.529 --> 01:12:54.470
Because I don't feel like it.
1704
01:12:54.550 --> 01:12:54.949
I feel like.
1705
01:12:55.710 --> 01:12:59.680
You had Jews in Hollywood 15 years ago that were like,
1706
01:12:59.909 --> 01:13:03.920
I support Israel. Those are my people. I'm on their team.
1707
01:13:04.380 --> 01:13:08.739
That's who my allegiance is with. And somehow that left.
1708
01:13:08.760 --> 01:13:10.520
Yeah, I feel like the more time that passes, the
1709
01:13:10.539 --> 01:13:13.279
more people don't have a direct connection to Jews in
1710
01:13:13.380 --> 01:13:14.220
Israel anymore.
1711
01:13:14.340 --> 01:13:17.149
And so then you become more academic about it. How
1712
01:13:17.159 --> 01:13:18.810
about a direct connection to sanity?
1713
01:13:18.890 --> 01:13:19.390
No, that's gone.
1714
01:13:19.550 --> 01:13:20.550
No, that's completely gone.
1715
01:13:20.569 --> 01:13:21.170
What are you asking?
1716
01:13:21.489 --> 01:13:22.250
Yeah.
1717
01:13:22.510 --> 01:13:22.750
Right.
1718
01:13:22.869 --> 01:13:23.689
You know what I'm saying, right?
1719
01:13:23.710 --> 01:13:24.449
Of course I know what you're saying.
1720
01:13:24.470 --> 01:13:25.949
What the fuck's wrong with Jimmy Carter?
1721
01:13:26.149 --> 01:13:27.489
You know who you look exactly like?
1722
01:13:27.670 --> 01:13:30.149
This guy Jeff Beck, who's not Jeff Beck the musician,
1723
01:13:30.189 --> 01:13:32.220
but Jeff Beck the guy.
1724
01:13:32.239 --> 01:13:34.619
Can't be one Jeff Beck I know. No, no, no.
1725
01:13:34.640 --> 01:13:37.159
The Jeff Beck, there's a guy named Jeff Beck that's
1726
01:13:37.220 --> 01:13:40.060
called not Jeff Beck because he's not the musician. But
1727
01:13:40.079 --> 01:13:42.510
he's also a musician, but he's not the Jeff Beck. Anyway,
1728
01:13:42.529 --> 01:13:43.539
you look exactly like him.
1729
01:13:43.810 --> 01:13:46.069
Who's on first? Even if I was the Jeff Beck,
1730
01:13:46.109 --> 01:13:48.630
the musician, three-quarters of the people listening to this wouldn't
1731
01:13:48.649 --> 01:13:50.670
know what the fuck I was talking about.
1732
01:13:51.010 --> 01:13:52.470
But now I can't even get to be the one?
1733
01:13:52.489 --> 01:13:53.369
No, no, no, no.
1734
01:13:53.390 --> 01:13:55.210
But you look exactly like the one who's not Jeff Beck,
1735
01:13:55.250 --> 01:13:56.210
but who's really Jeff Beck.
1736
01:13:56.310 --> 01:13:58.130
The unknown version of the unknown guy?
1737
01:13:58.149 --> 01:13:59.350
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1738
01:13:59.550 --> 01:14:01.229
He's a great guy, though. You should meet him someday.
1739
01:14:01.250 --> 01:14:02.789
You guys know Jeff Beck? Jeff Beck?
1740
01:14:02.989 --> 01:14:06.010
Yeah, yeah. I don't know not Jeff Beck, though.
1741
01:14:06.149 --> 01:14:06.689
Oh, okay.
1742
01:14:06.750 --> 01:14:08.289
No, because when I was doing Up in Smoke, and
1743
01:14:08.529 --> 01:14:10.310
I came out from New York. Now, I know nothing
1744
01:14:10.350 --> 01:14:12.109
about California. You're from California, right?
1745
01:14:12.470 --> 01:14:14.109
I'm from Israel, actually, but anyway.
1746
01:14:14.350 --> 01:14:17.760
I come out here, and there's things like lowriders and things,
1747
01:14:17.800 --> 01:14:19.979
you know, cherry. It's like a language I don't speak,
1748
01:14:20.020 --> 01:14:22.220
and they're talking about the valley. To me, the valley
1749
01:14:22.279 --> 01:14:24.399
is like, you know, Barbara Stanwyck or something.
1750
01:14:24.420 --> 01:14:25.640
I don't know what they're talking about.
1751
01:14:25.920 --> 01:14:28.020
They're going, yeah, go to the valley, and you'll take
1752
01:14:28.430 --> 01:14:30.390
a canyon, you know, take Coldwater Canyon.
1753
01:14:30.409 --> 01:14:32.069
I'm going, like, how do you fucking take a canyon?
1754
01:14:32.109 --> 01:14:34.050
I don't know anything. I'm from New York. So I
1755
01:14:34.090 --> 01:14:36.090
get this part in this movie. I don't even know
1756
01:14:36.109 --> 01:14:37.649
who Cheech and Chong are.
1757
01:14:37.909 --> 01:14:38.649
Up in smoke.
1758
01:14:38.829 --> 01:14:42.289
Yeah, they say to me, It's a valley girl. Go
1759
01:14:42.369 --> 01:14:44.489
to the ladies' room with the Roxy. You'll get the character.
1760
01:14:45.899 --> 01:14:47.359
So I go to the ladies' room with the Roxy
1761
01:14:47.380 --> 01:14:48.840
where I met Jeff Beck, not Jeff Beck.
1762
01:14:49.399 --> 01:14:50.640
And it's true.
1763
01:14:50.800 --> 01:14:53.220
And I go there with my tape recorder and my
1764
01:14:53.260 --> 01:14:55.840
glasses and my little reporter's little thing.
1765
01:14:56.140 --> 01:14:57.000
And I go into the ladies' room.
1766
01:14:57.020 --> 01:14:58.699
So you're doing research for the role.
1767
01:14:58.840 --> 01:15:00.819
Research to find out where the valley girl is.
1768
01:15:00.859 --> 01:15:02.699
Go to the bathroom at the Roxy.
1769
01:15:02.739 --> 01:15:04.909
Cheech told me you'll just go there. You'll get the
1770
01:15:04.949 --> 01:15:06.010
whole thing. So I go in there.
1771
01:15:06.310 --> 01:15:09.970
There's like 500 girls putting on makeup and changing clothes
1772
01:15:10.010 --> 01:15:10.729
and doing drugs.
1773
01:15:10.789 --> 01:15:13.130
And I walk in. They look at me. And it's
1774
01:15:13.170 --> 01:15:15.149
like they think I'm a narc and the place empties.
1775
01:15:15.789 --> 01:15:16.909
And I look around. There's no one there.
1776
01:15:17.130 --> 01:15:18.289
It's the scene from Animal House.
1777
01:15:18.609 --> 01:15:21.270
And that's when you met Jeff Beck, not Jeff Beck.
1778
01:15:21.300 --> 01:15:24.039
That's exactly right. Jeff Beck, not Jeff Beck, told me.
1779
01:15:24.079 --> 01:15:27.100
He said, Schmuck, go home. Change your clothes.
1780
01:15:27.420 --> 01:15:28.000
Look like them.
1781
01:15:28.079 --> 01:15:29.600
Come back and you'll be able to do it. So
1782
01:15:29.680 --> 01:15:31.560
I went home. I put feathers in my hair.
1783
01:15:31.579 --> 01:15:33.939
I put makeup on. I put everything I owned on
1784
01:15:33.979 --> 01:15:37.100
scarves and stuff. I came back and walked right in.
1785
01:15:37.260 --> 01:15:40.510
And there it was, this whole like universe of girls
1786
01:15:40.550 --> 01:15:41.810
like these valley girls.
1787
01:15:41.890 --> 01:15:42.109
Right.
1788
01:15:42.430 --> 01:15:45.310
So I'm watching these girls and I'm trading makeup and
1789
01:15:45.329 --> 01:15:47.489
they're trading like, you know, quaaludes and everything like that.
1790
01:15:47.529 --> 01:15:49.350
And two girls come. This is like one thirty at
1791
01:15:49.390 --> 01:15:51.329
night now. And I'm thinking, well, you know, these girls
1792
01:15:51.390 --> 01:15:53.270
are like in their 30s, so it's okay, right? They're
1793
01:15:53.310 --> 01:15:53.840
in their 30s.
1794
01:15:54.270 --> 01:15:56.189
And then I realized, no, they're not in their 30s.
1795
01:15:56.180 --> 01:15:58.739
Their mothers are in their 30s. They've dropped them off
1796
01:15:59.000 --> 01:16:00.739
so their mothers can go out and get laid, right?
1797
01:16:00.960 --> 01:16:04.000
And these girls are like in high school, right? So anyway,
1798
01:16:04.020 --> 01:16:06.229
so they're trading drugs, and two girls come in, and
1799
01:16:06.250 --> 01:16:06.569
they go.
1800
01:16:07.390 --> 01:16:10.010
Oh, my God, I'm so late. I'm in my God.
1801
01:16:10.050 --> 01:16:10.750
It's like so late.
1802
01:16:10.770 --> 01:16:12.369
My mom's going to kill me. I'm supposed to call.
1803
01:16:12.390 --> 01:16:14.390
I'm supposed to call her. And I say, oh, here
1804
01:16:14.409 --> 01:16:16.649
it goes. Where's the payphone? There was this big payphone
1805
01:16:16.689 --> 01:16:18.340
in the ladies' room. She goes over to the pay
1806
01:16:18.359 --> 01:16:20.020
phone and said, here goes the biggest lie.
1807
01:16:20.279 --> 01:16:20.460
Right.
1808
01:16:20.500 --> 01:16:23.739
The biggest lie we've ever heard. She goes, OK, mom. Yeah,
1809
01:16:23.800 --> 01:16:25.060
I know I supposed to call you.
1810
01:16:25.140 --> 01:16:27.750
But, you know, we ran into some great blow and,
1811
01:16:28.880 --> 01:16:30.859
you know, we just got caught up in it. You
1812
01:16:30.890 --> 01:16:32.029
want me to get some for you? You know, it's
1813
01:16:32.050 --> 01:16:34.090
not good for you. And I'm like, oh, my God,
1814
01:16:34.130 --> 01:16:35.569
this is this is the world.
1815
01:16:35.630 --> 01:16:36.090
This is it.
1816
01:16:36.130 --> 01:16:36.670
This is it.
1817
01:16:36.909 --> 01:16:38.710
And that's and that's the night you met.
1818
01:16:38.750 --> 01:16:39.050
No, no.
1819
01:16:39.930 --> 01:16:40.949
It's the night I met Jeff.
1820
01:16:40.970 --> 01:16:42.569
Not not not Jeff Beck.
1821
01:16:42.710 --> 01:16:44.180
Right. Wow. Yeah.
1822
01:16:44.199 --> 01:16:46.989
Shouldn't he just go by Jeffrey and then clear things up?
1823
01:16:47.020 --> 01:16:48.979
He should have, you know? But it was like, oh,
1824
01:16:49.020 --> 01:16:49.859
Jeff Beck, you ever listen?
1825
01:16:49.939 --> 01:16:50.479
No, you're not.
1826
01:16:50.579 --> 01:16:50.859
Okay.
1827
01:16:50.979 --> 01:16:52.430
Is this a picture of you, by the way, we're
1828
01:16:52.600 --> 01:16:53.289
looking at?
1829
01:16:53.329 --> 01:16:54.250
Yes, not the one with the tits.
1830
01:16:54.630 --> 01:16:57.729
Right, from, who's the one with the tits, by the way?
1831
01:16:57.789 --> 01:16:58.590
That's Annie Fanny.
1832
01:16:59.189 --> 01:16:59.829
Oh, really?
1833
01:17:00.029 --> 01:17:00.170
Yes.
1834
01:17:00.189 --> 01:17:01.689
From Porn Star?
1835
01:17:02.050 --> 01:17:02.890
Yes, yes, yes.
1836
01:17:02.970 --> 01:17:03.930
Annie Fanny, not out of it.
1837
01:17:03.949 --> 01:17:04.739
I don't even think about it.
1838
01:17:04.750 --> 01:17:06.380
Annie was great. You'd say, Annie, take your shirt off.
1839
01:17:06.390 --> 01:17:07.710
She'd go, okay, you know.
1840
01:17:08.130 --> 01:17:11.449
Cheech and Chong's up in smoke, by the way. Turns
1841
01:17:11.529 --> 01:17:16.130
out Cheech and Chong, not funny. That seems to be
1842
01:17:16.149 --> 01:17:18.989
the adult consensus. I knew it back in junior high.
1843
01:17:19.069 --> 01:17:21.909
I was like, these guys aren't funny.
1844
01:17:22.409 --> 01:17:24.890
But they ain't funny. That movie had a whole... It's
1845
01:17:24.909 --> 01:17:26.130
a funny, funny movie.
1846
01:17:26.510 --> 01:17:29.439
And that movie had a whole other life going on
1847
01:17:29.560 --> 01:17:32.960
with what was going on behind the scenes making the movie.
1848
01:17:33.520 --> 01:17:34.420
Really?
1849
01:17:34.560 --> 01:17:37.159
They said to me, we're going to get someone to
1850
01:17:37.199 --> 01:17:38.859
dress you to do this whole thing. And they got
1851
01:17:38.880 --> 01:17:40.859
these boots for me from Fiorucci.
1852
01:17:40.880 --> 01:17:41.020
Really?
1853
01:17:41.359 --> 01:17:42.989
We didn't have a store here. They got them off
1854
01:17:43.010 --> 01:17:45.970
the runway in Milan or something. They were red lame boots.
1855
01:17:46.369 --> 01:17:47.069
So I put them on.
1856
01:17:47.130 --> 01:17:48.520
I'm there at six o'clock in the morning and they
1857
01:17:48.539 --> 01:17:50.100
don't get to me till seven o'clock at night.
1858
01:17:50.359 --> 01:17:51.460
My feet are killing me.
1859
01:17:51.539 --> 01:17:51.720
Right.
1860
01:17:51.739 --> 01:17:53.399
Because they're three sizes too small.
1861
01:17:53.699 --> 01:17:55.250
I take them off. We're at the Rainbow with a
1862
01:17:55.289 --> 01:17:57.409
Roxy and there's a million extras. And I wiggle my
1863
01:17:57.479 --> 01:17:59.739
foot going, oh, God, my feet are killing me. And
1864
01:17:59.760 --> 01:18:01.180
I take the other one off and I do the same.
1865
01:18:01.199 --> 01:18:03.000
And then I reach for the first one and they're gone.
1866
01:18:03.039 --> 01:18:04.800
Like someone has stolen my costume.
1867
01:18:05.239 --> 01:18:07.479
So like I'm flipped out. It's my first day. I
1868
01:18:07.500 --> 01:18:08.220
don't know anyone.
1869
01:18:08.260 --> 01:18:09.880
And now I have lost the boots that cost like
1870
01:18:09.899 --> 01:18:12.159
a million dollars that they got from Rome or something.
1871
01:18:12.199 --> 01:18:14.079
So I'm freaked out and I'm looking, I'm looking. And
1872
01:18:14.100 --> 01:18:15.960
I finally, they're going, you know, five minutes, five minutes.
1873
01:18:15.979 --> 01:18:18.619
And I walk up to the studio, you know, heads
1874
01:18:18.659 --> 01:18:19.060
who were there.
1875
01:18:19.100 --> 01:18:19.430
And I said.
1876
01:18:21.270 --> 01:18:22.869
I don't have the boots. I don't know what to do.
1877
01:18:22.909 --> 01:18:23.569
But someone took them.
1878
01:18:23.810 --> 01:18:26.439
And they're like, oh, my God, it costs so much money.
1879
01:18:26.800 --> 01:18:29.960
And this studio head says, yeah, they were like, you know, $ 600.
1880
01:18:29.899 --> 01:18:32.000
The other one says, $ 600? That was just the shipping.
1881
01:18:32.039 --> 01:18:32.819
They were like, you know, $ 12, 000.
1882
01:18:32.659 --> 01:18:35.460
And blah, blah, blah. And they're going back and forth. Well,
1883
01:18:35.479 --> 01:18:36.520
you'll just have to do without.
1884
01:18:36.659 --> 01:18:38.770
And then I said, well, really, how much was it?
1885
01:18:38.800 --> 01:18:40.989
They said they were $ 800.
1886
01:18:40.899 --> 01:18:43.409
I said, you put that up your nose every.
1887
01:18:43.229 --> 01:18:45.569
Day, right? They had a lot of coke going around
1888
01:18:45.609 --> 01:18:45.989
back then, right?
1889
01:18:46.010 --> 01:18:47.350
And they said, you know, you're right. Get her the boots.
1890
01:18:47.369 --> 01:18:49.270
So they wired to Milan. They got me new boots.
1891
01:18:49.289 --> 01:18:50.899
And I did that. barefoot that same.
1892
01:18:51.039 --> 01:18:54.649
How much how much coke? I always say this is sweetest.
1893
01:18:54.670 --> 01:19:00.310
The sweetest spot of in life was pre AIDS mid coke.
1894
01:19:01.539 --> 01:19:05.380
That's the sweet spot. Those are the sweet years. And
1895
01:19:05.399 --> 01:19:09.430
they're when Coke is considered... No taboo. No judging. Just
1896
01:19:09.529 --> 01:19:12.770
everyone just doing a big fat round of rail. And
1897
01:19:12.789 --> 01:19:15.250
there ain't no such thing as AIDS. That's just free
1898
01:19:15.289 --> 01:19:16.369
goddamn love, right?
1899
01:19:16.770 --> 01:19:18.630
The first time I was ever out in L.A., I
1900
01:19:18.670 --> 01:19:20.909
went to a sushi bar. It was a U-shaped bar.
1901
01:19:20.949 --> 01:19:23.180
And I walk in, and there's a line of Coke
1902
01:19:23.319 --> 01:19:24.880
around the entire sushi bar.
1903
01:19:24.899 --> 01:19:26.220
And you just sit down, and I went.
1904
01:19:28.069 --> 01:19:29.710
I couldn't believe it. This is like what was going
1905
01:19:29.770 --> 01:19:30.689
on in L.A. at that time.
1906
01:19:30.909 --> 01:19:31.699
Unbelievable.
1907
01:19:31.720 --> 01:19:32.859
What year are we talking about?
1908
01:19:32.880 --> 01:19:37.920
This is probably 1978-ish. How did that work?
1909
01:19:38.260 --> 01:19:40.640
Does everyone do a tiny bit of the horseshoe?
1910
01:19:41.600 --> 01:19:43.710
Yeah. And then there were the pigs who just, you know.
1911
01:19:43.909 --> 01:19:44.250
Right.
1912
01:19:44.710 --> 01:19:44.989
Yeah.
1913
01:19:45.069 --> 01:19:46.649
But, you know, it was everywhere. It was everywhere.
1914
01:19:46.670 --> 01:19:49.909
It was like you'd walk down the hallway at NBC
1915
01:19:49.930 --> 01:19:51.090
and there'd be pills on the floor.
1916
01:19:51.109 --> 01:19:52.210
I mean, it was like out there.
1917
01:19:52.329 --> 01:19:55.220
I would break up the horseshoe with little balls of wasabi.
1918
01:19:56.300 --> 01:19:57.539
You know, because I feel like that would stop you.
1919
01:19:57.560 --> 01:19:58.859
You need a palate cleanser as well. You need to
1920
01:19:58.899 --> 01:20:00.079
shove some ginger down your nose.
1921
01:20:00.100 --> 01:20:01.279
That would definitely stop you.
1922
01:20:01.340 --> 01:20:03.300
That's a Coke. No pun intended. That's a Coke speed bump.
1923
01:20:03.520 --> 01:20:04.140
That's right.
1924
01:20:04.180 --> 01:20:04.880
It'll slow you down.
1925
01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:05.260
Yeah.
1926
01:20:06.579 --> 01:20:09.550
Also, spinal tap. Now that.
1927
01:20:10.689 --> 01:20:11.640
Is a funny movie.
1928
01:20:11.680 --> 01:20:12.760
That was a funny movie.
1929
01:20:12.779 --> 01:20:14.439
And no one knew what it was going to be
1930
01:20:14.479 --> 01:20:16.550
because Rob just said, you know, we're doing this movie.
1931
01:20:16.590 --> 01:20:18.760
We have no script. So like, I want you to
1932
01:20:18.779 --> 01:20:20.619
be a Rolling Stone reporter. And that was like, that's
1933
01:20:20.750 --> 01:20:22.289
the direct, that's what you got. And then you just
1934
01:20:22.329 --> 01:20:24.609
like did something, ran it by him while he was
1935
01:20:24.649 --> 01:20:26.590
listening to the World Series. And then, you know, we
1936
01:20:26.630 --> 01:20:27.550
came on the set and did it.
1937
01:20:27.569 --> 01:20:28.069
He was great.
1938
01:20:28.229 --> 01:20:30.489
There was a, I'm trying to think of the Rolling
1939
01:20:30.590 --> 01:20:32.779
Stone reporter. What was the question you asked?
1940
01:20:33.020 --> 01:20:35.359
The question I said, so you guys, are you going
1941
01:20:35.399 --> 01:20:38.000
to like, are you going to tour again?
1942
01:20:38.020 --> 01:20:39.279
Are you just going to milk it for a few
1943
01:20:39.300 --> 01:20:41.159
more years in Europe? You know, stuff like that.
1944
01:20:41.880 --> 01:20:45.819
I'm trying to think of that scene. The backyard party
1945
01:20:45.840 --> 01:20:47.300
at the top of the hotel.
1946
01:20:47.399 --> 01:20:48.779
Oh, the wrap party up on the roof.
1947
01:20:48.810 --> 01:20:49.779
Yeah, the Hyatt house.
1948
01:20:50.229 --> 01:20:50.560
Yeah.
1949
01:20:50.850 --> 01:20:55.050
Right next to the comedy, let's see, comedy store?
1950
01:20:55.369 --> 01:20:57.949
You could make a case very easily for that being
1951
01:20:57.970 --> 01:21:00.369
the most influential comedy of all time. It spawned a
1952
01:21:00.390 --> 01:21:03.149
whole genre. They weren't doing mockumentaries before that.
1953
01:21:03.729 --> 01:21:04.909
Well, that was the mockumentary.
1954
01:21:04.970 --> 01:21:05.829
Yeah.
1955
01:21:06.010 --> 01:21:09.130
Not only that, but just laugh or laugh. One of
1956
01:21:09.149 --> 01:21:12.649
the funniest movies ever, ever made. And he has spawned
1957
01:21:12.670 --> 01:21:15.010
a genre. And even if it didn't spawn a genre,
1958
01:21:15.050 --> 01:21:18.890
just fucking funnier than than almost any other movie.
1959
01:21:18.970 --> 01:21:20.350
I think 11. I mean, come on.
1960
01:21:20.390 --> 01:21:22.470
I mean, but there were there were there were the
1961
01:21:22.510 --> 01:21:26.310
jokes that were sort of kind of you remember. And
1962
01:21:26.609 --> 01:21:30.859
then there were even just like sort of. little intravenous
1963
01:21:30.920 --> 01:21:32.640
to Milo and stuff like that.
1964
01:21:32.699 --> 01:21:33.279
Just name it.
1965
01:21:33.359 --> 01:21:37.140
Like Jessica, weird. There's like sort of the weird stuff there.
1966
01:21:37.279 --> 01:21:41.500
There was the, uh, namesake series where the celebrities read
1967
01:21:41.579 --> 01:21:46.899
books that share the same last name as that, as
1968
01:21:47.319 --> 01:21:50.489
it was, it was called like the namesake series where like, uh,
1969
01:21:50.720 --> 01:21:56.550
celebrities read the book of the author whose name they share.
1970
01:21:56.560 --> 01:22:03.029
And there was, uh, There was, let's see, what's Irving?
1971
01:22:03.289 --> 01:22:06.380
I'm trying to think of the famous author, Irving. John Irving?
1972
01:22:06.659 --> 01:22:08.659
No, I don't think it was John Irving.
1973
01:22:08.819 --> 01:22:09.699
Washington Irving?
1974
01:22:09.720 --> 01:22:13.659
It was one of those Irvings, yeah. And read by
1975
01:22:13.779 --> 01:22:18.060
somebody named Dr. J. Remember that one? They said a
1976
01:22:18.100 --> 01:22:20.140
bunch of those kind of jokes, like some you got,
1977
01:22:20.199 --> 01:22:22.819
some you didn't get, some you weren't meant.
1978
01:22:23.810 --> 01:22:24.489
Meant to get.
1979
01:22:24.630 --> 01:22:27.510
They had some of those just sort of stupid ones where, like,
1980
01:22:28.590 --> 01:22:30.609
you know, the guy's life was about sex, drugs, and
1981
01:22:30.649 --> 01:22:32.829
rock and roll. And it's like, well, what if you
1982
01:22:32.869 --> 01:22:35.930
could never play rock and roll again? He did so
1983
01:22:35.949 --> 01:22:38.069
much sex and drugs. I guess I could get by
1984
01:22:38.109 --> 01:22:38.510
with that.
1985
01:22:38.729 --> 01:22:40.850
These guys were great, though. This was a fun movie.
1986
01:22:40.890 --> 01:22:43.489
You can't tell me the truth.
1987
01:22:43.510 --> 01:22:45.899
Dion's not going to print it anyway, okay? I just
1988
01:22:45.909 --> 01:22:46.949
want to know from my own head.
1989
01:22:47.649 --> 01:22:49.520
You know, I think we need a little bit of
1990
01:22:49.659 --> 01:22:52.050
time to discuss this between the two of us.
1991
01:22:52.100 --> 01:22:54.739
If you wouldn't mind just Leave us alone. We can
1992
01:22:54.760 --> 01:22:57.390
sort things out and then we can come.
1993
01:22:57.250 --> 01:22:58.399
To the kind of thing we want.
1994
01:22:58.829 --> 01:23:00.590
There you are as a blonde. Yeah.
1995
01:23:00.989 --> 01:23:02.100
So it's like those reporters.
1996
01:23:02.140 --> 01:23:02.460
It's OK.
1997
01:23:02.520 --> 01:23:04.079
You can tell me anything. I won't print it. I
1998
01:23:04.100 --> 01:23:04.640
won't print it.
1999
01:23:04.640 --> 01:23:06.720
It's like a little small jokes like Boston's not a
2000
01:23:06.739 --> 01:23:10.960
big college town anyway. They oversaturated the market. That's why
2001
01:23:11.000 --> 01:23:12.779
no one showed up at the record signing.
2002
01:23:13.039 --> 01:23:13.579
We'd love to.
2003
01:23:13.520 --> 01:23:14.899
Stay and chat, but we got to go in the
2004
01:23:14.939 --> 01:23:16.029
lobby and wait for the limo.
2005
01:23:16.170 --> 01:23:17.449
It's like a bunch of those.
2006
01:23:17.689 --> 01:23:19.750
I love the set. The size of the set.
2007
01:23:19.770 --> 01:23:20.510
The little set.
2008
01:23:20.590 --> 01:23:21.850
Stonehenge was great.
2009
01:23:21.869 --> 01:23:23.420
That was just so much fun.
2010
01:23:23.470 --> 01:23:25.310
It's one tenth the size it was supposed to be.
2011
01:23:25.770 --> 01:23:30.220
Uh and uh and where they would uh they do
2012
01:23:30.260 --> 01:23:32.420
little things like i said you know when we started
2013
01:23:32.680 --> 01:23:35.920
off we were doing these little nothing songs and really
2014
01:23:36.220 --> 01:23:40.090
adolescent really and and now we're doing you know songs
2015
01:23:40.130 --> 01:23:42.670
are much more mature and evolved and they'd like uh
2016
01:23:43.069 --> 01:23:46.989
sex farm yeah where we're taking a look at sex
2017
01:23:47.050 --> 01:23:48.529
and Putting it on a farm?
2018
01:23:48.729 --> 01:23:49.829
Yeah, yeah, like that.
2019
01:23:50.689 --> 01:23:56.199
But there's just even the adolescent stuff, like heavy-duty rock
2020
01:23:56.260 --> 01:23:59.979
and roll brings out the duty in my soul. Like,
2021
01:24:00.020 --> 01:24:01.399
just the lyrics were great.
2022
01:24:01.960 --> 01:24:04.640
Heavy Duty is a great song, and Sex Farm is
2023
01:24:04.680 --> 01:24:06.630
a great song. They led the stage.
2024
01:24:06.659 --> 01:24:07.970
And they keep making wrong turns.
2025
01:24:08.069 --> 01:24:09.590
He's a genius.
2026
01:24:09.630 --> 01:24:15.279
Just a million great, a million great, Great scenes.
2027
01:24:15.300 --> 01:24:16.960
Great movie. Still funny. Still funny.
2028
01:24:17.020 --> 01:24:19.039
That's how you know. Yes.
2029
01:24:19.220 --> 01:24:21.560
And, you know, there are those who are like, oh, man,
2030
01:24:21.600 --> 01:24:24.300
that movie. You ever see Fletch? That's a funny movie.
2031
01:24:24.319 --> 01:24:29.149
Are you fucking nuts? It's like 3,000 Fletches don't add
2032
01:24:29.229 --> 01:24:32.430
up to one of these or Dirty Rotten Scoundrels or
2033
01:24:32.489 --> 01:24:34.369
any of those kind of movies that some people think
2034
01:24:34.449 --> 01:24:37.170
are pretty decent, especially some of those Steve Martin ones from.
2035
01:24:37.069 --> 01:24:37.630
Back in the day.
2036
01:24:38.109 --> 01:24:41.130
A thousand don't add up to one fucking Spinal Tap.
2037
01:24:41.189 --> 01:24:42.569
No, Spinal Tap is the best.
2038
01:24:42.609 --> 01:24:42.930
It is.
2039
01:24:43.090 --> 01:24:43.590
It is.
2040
01:24:43.689 --> 01:24:43.909
Sorry.
2041
01:24:44.340 --> 01:24:48.000
So Zane has directed a bunch of comedy TV shows,
2042
01:24:48.060 --> 01:24:49.130
and I'd just like to read his name to you.
2043
01:24:49.140 --> 01:24:49.420
Hold on.
2044
01:24:49.479 --> 01:24:51.739
Are you guys going to find the Not Jeff Beck guy?
2045
01:24:51.779 --> 01:24:52.359
Can he not be found?
2046
01:24:52.380 --> 01:24:53.119
Yeah, find Not Jeff Beck.
2047
01:24:53.140 --> 01:24:55.960
Because if I look like somebody... No, you really, really,
2048
01:24:56.060 --> 01:24:56.859
really look like him.
2049
01:24:57.140 --> 01:24:57.420
I mean.
2050
01:24:57.939 --> 01:24:59.819
Just Google Jeff Beck, Not Jeff Beck.
2051
01:24:59.859 --> 01:25:01.510
Like on the frightening side of look like him.
2052
01:25:01.640 --> 01:25:02.460
Oh, really? Yeah.
2053
01:25:02.720 --> 01:25:03.100
Okay.
2054
01:25:03.119 --> 01:25:05.020
This could go a lot of different directions.
2055
01:25:06.029 --> 01:25:10.220
Blossom, Golden Girls, Charles in Charge, My Two Dads, Head
2056
01:25:10.239 --> 01:25:13.199
of the Class, New Heart, Married with Children, Silver Spoons.
2057
01:25:13.239 --> 01:25:14.039
That's just a few of them.
2058
01:25:15.340 --> 01:25:17.170
And hundreds. I did hundreds and hundreds.
2059
01:25:17.250 --> 01:25:18.390
Any Facts of Life in there?
2060
01:25:18.829 --> 01:25:21.750
No, that's before my time. Thank God there's something before
2061
01:25:21.789 --> 01:25:22.189
my time.
2062
01:25:22.270 --> 01:25:24.149
Yeah, My Two Dads.
2063
01:25:24.449 --> 01:25:25.489
My Two Dads, yeah.
2064
01:25:25.609 --> 01:25:26.449
Yes, yes, yes.
2065
01:25:26.529 --> 01:25:28.479
It's one of those great concept, high concept shows.
2066
01:25:28.500 --> 01:25:29.779
Was Paul Reiser in that?
2067
01:25:29.800 --> 01:25:31.260
That was Paul's first show.
2068
01:25:31.659 --> 01:25:33.359
And Giovanni Ribisi was in it.
2069
01:25:33.520 --> 01:25:34.659
That's right, Giovanni Ribisi.
2070
01:25:34.699 --> 01:25:35.659
He played her friend.
2071
01:25:35.689 --> 01:25:36.470
Then he was Vani.
2072
01:25:36.590 --> 01:25:37.649
Yeah, he was Vani Ribisi.
2073
01:25:37.710 --> 01:25:39.789
Vani Ribisi. Like all these kids that I work with
2074
01:25:39.850 --> 01:25:42.409
are now like, you know, these big stars of their own.
2075
01:25:42.489 --> 01:25:43.590
Rick Schroeder.
2076
01:25:44.069 --> 01:25:46.409
Who was the girl in that? She wasn't the one
2077
01:25:46.430 --> 01:25:47.909
that was murdered, was she?
2078
01:25:48.109 --> 01:25:50.699
No, I did that, though. I did that. My sister, Sam,
2079
01:25:50.720 --> 01:25:51.199
I did that show.
2080
01:25:51.239 --> 01:25:51.960
Oh, yeah.
2081
01:25:51.979 --> 01:25:53.619
Rebecca, yeah. That was terrible.
2082
01:25:53.640 --> 01:25:54.979
Rebecca Schaefer was it?
2083
01:25:55.279 --> 01:25:58.739
Yep, yep, yep, yep. Ricky Schroeder wears the underwear, you know.
2084
01:25:58.760 --> 01:25:58.899
What?
2085
01:25:58.920 --> 01:26:02.260
What do you mean? He wears the Mormon underwear.
2086
01:26:02.659 --> 01:26:04.260
Oh. Oh. Who?
2087
01:26:04.300 --> 01:26:05.640
Wait, now he does or then?
2088
01:26:06.729 --> 01:26:08.569
Now, I think. I don't know. I didn't check then.
2089
01:26:08.590 --> 01:26:09.409
What?
2090
01:26:11.039 --> 01:26:12.119
What's going on?
2091
01:26:12.399 --> 01:26:14.800
Rick Schroeder wears Mormon underwear. That's all I know.
2092
01:26:14.819 --> 01:26:18.600
The Rickster. Maybe it's more man, and it just adds,
2093
01:26:18.619 --> 01:26:20.619
because I bought some that makes you look like you
2094
01:26:20.640 --> 01:26:21.220
have more up front.
2095
01:26:21.239 --> 01:26:21.819
I love wearing those.
2096
01:26:21.859 --> 01:26:22.579
Like a card piece.
2097
01:26:22.920 --> 01:26:23.739
Yeah, I like it.
2098
01:26:24.850 --> 01:26:27.640
Wait, what is this more man underwear? Is it like
2099
01:26:27.680 --> 01:26:28.560
a chastity belt of underwear?
2100
01:26:28.579 --> 01:26:30.199
I just invented it, but I would buy that.
2101
01:26:30.220 --> 01:26:31.260
I think you're on to something, buddy.
2102
01:26:31.420 --> 01:26:32.239
Everyone would buy that.
2103
01:26:32.279 --> 01:26:35.039
Well, listen, women have those padded bras or put the
2104
01:26:35.079 --> 01:26:38.520
cutlets under there. Why can't we have a little help downstairs,
2105
01:26:38.560 --> 01:26:38.869
you know?
2106
01:26:39.090 --> 01:26:41.770
Well, those guys, they put marbles in, you know, I mean.
2107
01:26:42.189 --> 01:26:42.670
Marbles?
2108
01:26:42.810 --> 01:26:43.640
Yeah, yeah, that's an old one.
2109
01:26:43.649 --> 01:26:44.630
That wouldn't help very much.
2110
01:26:44.930 --> 01:26:46.090
BBs, marbles.
2111
01:26:46.409 --> 01:26:47.310
It's like crazy.
2112
01:26:49.810 --> 01:26:51.020
Oh, where the hell were we?
2113
01:26:52.000 --> 01:26:54.899
So what's going on in Latvia and Lithuania?
2114
01:26:55.100 --> 01:26:58.600
Fucking freezing is what's going on. Yes, it's very cold there.
2115
01:26:58.619 --> 01:26:59.520
They're crazy countries.
2116
01:26:59.560 --> 01:27:02.630
I mean, they're countries of, you know, lots of murdering
2117
01:27:02.670 --> 01:27:05.590
and very bad blood went on there, you know, and
2118
01:27:05.630 --> 01:27:08.810
it just keeps going and going and they have no past. to,
2119
01:27:09.170 --> 01:27:11.630
to be proud of. So they just like, don't discuss
2120
01:27:11.649 --> 01:27:13.560
the past. You know, it's like, like John Cleese, don't
2121
01:27:13.579 --> 01:27:16.319
say anything about the war, but everything leads back to
2122
01:27:16.340 --> 01:27:18.479
the war, but you can't say anything about the war.
2123
01:27:18.319 --> 01:27:20.399
Because it's very bad news over there.
2124
01:27:20.619 --> 01:27:22.479
A lot of ethnic cleansing going on.
2125
01:27:22.819 --> 01:27:23.079
Still.
2126
01:27:23.239 --> 01:27:26.369
I mean, crazy, crazy, uh, very, very bad stuff.
2127
01:27:26.710 --> 01:27:26.909
Yeah.
2128
01:27:26.970 --> 01:27:29.529
And, uh, this is, uh, I don't know where you're
2129
01:27:29.569 --> 01:27:32.430
at with this, but I really want to have a
2130
01:27:32.609 --> 01:27:36.979
meeting of the same countries. Like, Forget about the G8
2131
01:27:37.380 --> 01:27:39.500
or whoever they get together every once in a while
2132
01:27:39.539 --> 01:27:43.020
for a summit. This would be the not-crazy countries.
2133
01:27:43.590 --> 01:27:44.689
And where exactly are they?
2134
01:27:44.710 --> 01:27:46.329
You better get a good bouncer for that because you
2135
01:27:46.350 --> 01:27:47.670
know that someone's going to try and crash.
2136
01:27:47.689 --> 01:27:49.890
They know Bolivia is going to show up drunk.
2137
01:27:49.949 --> 01:27:52.329
I was just in Ukraine. This is like a crazy country.
2138
01:27:52.649 --> 01:27:55.670
Ukraine has a satellite country, the Soviet Union. So now
2139
01:27:55.710 --> 01:27:58.079
that they're independent, they're trying to go– gee, we need
2140
01:27:58.119 --> 01:27:59.819
a pass that we can be proud of to teach
2141
01:27:59.859 --> 01:28:01.720
our kids in school, like to wave the flag, you know,
2142
01:28:01.739 --> 01:28:03.399
like we have July 4th in George Washington.
2143
01:28:03.420 --> 01:28:05.159
They don't have any of that, right? So they go, okay,
2144
01:28:05.199 --> 01:28:07.270
let's look to our past. And they go, okay, World War.
2145
01:28:07.979 --> 01:28:10.039
World War II, that's pretty bad. We killed, like, millions
2146
01:28:10.079 --> 01:28:11.739
of people for no reason. And we don't teach it
2147
01:28:11.779 --> 01:28:12.220
in our school.
2148
01:28:12.239 --> 01:28:13.619
We can't do that. Okay, then we go a little
2149
01:28:13.640 --> 01:28:14.420
bit further.
2150
01:28:14.439 --> 01:28:16.119
We can't do that. Okay, then we go to the 1900s.
2151
01:28:16.380 --> 01:28:18.229
We had all those marauders killing, and we can't do that.
2152
01:28:18.239 --> 01:28:19.670
We killed our own people. We can't do that. We
2153
01:28:19.689 --> 01:28:20.050
can't do that.
2154
01:28:20.350 --> 01:28:22.390
So they have no past, right? So instead of so,
2155
01:28:22.590 --> 01:28:25.149
what they do is they pick the most famous murderer.
2156
01:28:25.289 --> 01:28:27.390
They have a guy named, I think, Banderas.
2157
01:28:28.149 --> 01:28:30.789
And his famous thing was that he sawed little girls
2158
01:28:30.850 --> 01:28:33.380
in half. That was his, you know, not by ones
2159
01:28:33.409 --> 01:28:33.659
or twos.
2160
01:28:33.680 --> 01:28:34.840
By the thousands. A really bad magician.
2161
01:28:35.140 --> 01:28:37.079
You know, this is what he liked to do. And
2162
01:28:37.119 --> 01:28:39.229
so they named all their parks. Let's just in the
2163
01:28:39.270 --> 01:28:40.819
last two years. Banderas Park.
2164
01:28:40.979 --> 01:28:41.439
Really?
2165
01:28:41.699 --> 01:28:41.890
Yeah.
2166
01:28:41.970 --> 01:28:43.750
And they have his portraits everywhere.
2167
01:28:43.770 --> 01:28:46.789
And this is who they're like praying to now and
2168
01:28:46.829 --> 01:28:47.829
teaching the kids in school.
2169
01:28:48.050 --> 01:28:51.720
Well, again, they would not get an Evite to my
2170
01:28:51.800 --> 01:28:53.560
meeting of sane nations.
2171
01:28:53.600 --> 01:28:54.460
No, they wouldn't.
2172
01:28:54.600 --> 01:28:57.399
But there are some sane nations. I'm sure the Seychelles
2173
01:28:57.579 --> 01:28:58.640
Islands are sane.
2174
01:28:58.779 --> 01:28:59.159
I don't know.
2175
01:28:59.180 --> 01:29:02.579
You can get Canada and Australia in there. And, you know,
2176
01:29:02.640 --> 01:29:06.319
everyone's got a couple of drunken troublemakers. But by and large.
2177
01:29:06.350 --> 01:29:07.430
Okay, Britain.
2178
01:29:07.689 --> 01:29:11.930
Yeah, sure, sure. Scandinavian countries. And we all get together
2179
01:29:11.970 --> 01:29:12.710
in parts of Europe.
2180
01:29:12.729 --> 01:29:14.010
The Soviet bloc countries. are crazy.
2181
01:29:14.050 --> 01:29:16.029
And every time I'm in Belarus, I'm like, oh, why
2182
01:29:16.050 --> 01:29:17.369
can't we do this? And then someone will say, because
2183
01:29:17.390 --> 01:29:18.170
it's a dictatorship.
2184
01:29:18.369 --> 01:29:20.270
I say, oh, right. Oh, can we go over there?
2185
01:29:20.310 --> 01:29:20.479
No.
2186
01:29:20.760 --> 01:29:23.100
Why can't we go over there? Because you'll get thrown
2187
01:29:23.119 --> 01:29:25.680
in prison. The secret police are watching you. Oh, I'm sorry.
2188
01:29:25.920 --> 01:29:28.260
You forget how lucky we are that we can do
2189
01:29:28.380 --> 01:29:30.539
anything and say anything. They walk down the street there
2190
01:29:30.579 --> 01:29:32.460
with their heads down and they're afraid to say anything.
2191
01:29:32.739 --> 01:29:32.890
Oh.
2192
01:29:32.899 --> 01:29:34.010
They're not allowed to buy things in the store.
2193
01:29:34.029 --> 01:29:35.329
You're being so naive.
2194
01:29:35.390 --> 01:29:36.970
You've got to go down to Wall Street and really
2195
01:29:37.029 --> 01:29:39.949
fucking catch a lesson what's really going on in this.
2196
01:29:39.869 --> 01:29:41.890
Country, man. Yeah, you say that.
2197
01:29:41.909 --> 01:29:43.010
Did you go downtown L.A.? Because.
2198
01:29:42.869 --> 01:29:45.029
You're a wuh and you're juh.
2199
01:29:45.050 --> 01:29:45.800
All right.
2200
01:29:46.270 --> 01:29:48.439
The point is, is you guys, we can do what
2201
01:29:48.479 --> 01:29:49.640
we want because we're white.
2202
01:29:49.659 --> 01:29:50.720
That's right.
2203
01:29:50.819 --> 01:29:55.279
Don't be so naive. You're any other color.
2204
01:29:56.069 --> 01:29:59.779
In this country, there's a lot of hungry people out
2205
01:29:59.840 --> 01:30:02.539
there that don't share the same privileges that we do.
2206
01:30:02.619 --> 01:30:07.159
No, no, no. Lucky for me and Brian, we're white males.
2207
01:30:07.239 --> 01:30:08.060
We do what we want.
2208
01:30:08.079 --> 01:30:08.739
You guys are.
2209
01:30:08.770 --> 01:30:10.689
I thought you were Jewish women.
2210
01:30:12.810 --> 01:30:14.890
Yeah, so we get all the same countries together.
2211
01:30:15.069 --> 01:30:16.149
Yes, and what are we going to do with them?
2212
01:30:16.689 --> 01:30:20.529
We come up with a plan, which is... What?
2213
01:30:20.550 --> 01:30:21.510
The final solution.
2214
01:30:21.590 --> 01:30:25.720
Some of it involves... You know, some conversations, mostly Predator
2215
01:30:25.739 --> 01:30:27.350
drone related stuff.
2216
01:30:27.470 --> 01:30:29.649
And we just start fucking taking out these nut jobs.
2217
01:30:29.789 --> 01:30:30.649
I would love to be part of that.
2218
01:30:30.670 --> 01:30:32.789
Just start taking the garbage out. I would love to
2219
01:30:32.829 --> 01:30:34.510
be part of that. Let's face it.
2220
01:30:34.649 --> 01:30:38.470
It's getting, there was a time when you could go
2221
01:30:38.510 --> 01:30:40.289
be nuts in your own nation and we wouldn't even
2222
01:30:40.350 --> 01:30:41.000
know about it.
2223
01:30:41.229 --> 01:30:42.609
Now it's wide open.
2224
01:30:42.630 --> 01:30:45.819
That's right. Between the internet and the international flights, it's
2225
01:30:45.880 --> 01:30:48.920
all over. It's all one big place now. It's one
2226
01:30:48.979 --> 01:30:51.560
big globe that just kind of got connected. It's sort
2227
01:30:51.600 --> 01:30:54.000
of like the valley. There was a time you could
2228
01:30:54.060 --> 01:30:56.380
live in Simi Valley and no one would know where
2229
01:30:56.420 --> 01:30:59.810
you were. Now, somehow, Canoga Park and Chatsworth, it all
2230
01:30:59.819 --> 01:31:02.909
got connected. We all connected. So it used to just be, well,
2231
01:31:02.930 --> 01:31:05.130
you'd be over there and then you'd be over here
2232
01:31:05.170 --> 01:31:08.069
in Studio City and there was nothing but cornfields or
2233
01:31:08.170 --> 01:31:12.449
bean fields or orange orchards in between. But now it's
2234
01:31:12.670 --> 01:31:15.920
all slowly connected. And now that we're connected, we can't
2235
01:31:15.939 --> 01:31:21.800
have nut jobs. It's like Pangea. I consider myself a nerd. Yeah.
2236
01:31:22.920 --> 01:31:26.020
Still can't find your not-Jeff Beck buddy on the Internet,
2237
01:31:26.060 --> 01:31:26.819
by the way.
2238
01:31:26.899 --> 01:31:29.630
God, why wouldn't he be there? Maybe it was a
2239
01:31:29.649 --> 01:31:31.989
long time ago. Maybe he's not even alive.
2240
01:31:32.010 --> 01:31:34.550
Maybe he's Jeff Beck now. He finally became.
2241
01:31:34.810 --> 01:31:36.220
They became the real Jeff Beck.
2242
01:31:36.239 --> 01:31:37.939
I mean, he was like pre-internet.
2243
01:31:38.220 --> 01:31:40.560
So Zane, you come out from New York.
2244
01:31:40.619 --> 01:31:41.020
Yes.
2245
01:31:41.100 --> 01:31:43.100
You come out to act, right?
2246
01:31:43.260 --> 01:31:45.430
I came out in a band called B & B, right?
2247
01:31:45.470 --> 01:31:47.569
And when we got out here, we set up at
2248
01:31:47.789 --> 01:31:52.390
the old Hollywood, Columbia Sound Stages. for a midnight show,
2249
01:31:52.470 --> 01:31:54.989
not realizing that people in L.A. don't stay up past
2250
01:31:54.989 --> 01:31:57.649
10 o'clock. So we did this midnight show to, like, nobody.
2251
01:31:58.069 --> 01:31:59.850
But we got some record deals, and we were going
2252
01:31:59.869 --> 01:32:03.090
to cut some albums, and we cut some songs with
2253
01:32:03.489 --> 01:32:04.090
Mike Curb.
2254
01:32:04.109 --> 01:32:05.829
And then I said, oh, you guys are.
2255
01:32:05.850 --> 01:32:07.210
Be Mike Curb or not Mike Curb?
2256
01:32:07.689 --> 01:32:08.689
Yeah, not Mike Curb.
2257
01:32:09.609 --> 01:32:13.609
And then started to get acting jobs. So went out
2258
01:32:13.640 --> 01:32:15.420
to do Up and Smoke, and then I did a
2259
01:32:15.439 --> 01:32:18.680
thing called Americathon, where I played a Vietnamese rock and
2260
01:32:18.720 --> 01:32:19.520
roll singer, right?
2261
01:32:19.539 --> 01:32:20.520
Was that Martin Malz?
2262
01:32:21.600 --> 01:32:24.220
No, everyone was in this movie.
2263
01:32:24.520 --> 01:32:29.119
Elvis Costello and Jay Leno and Harvey Korman and me
2264
01:32:29.180 --> 01:32:31.560
and Peter Riegert. And there wasn't a person on the
2265
01:32:31.600 --> 01:32:34.220
planet who was not in this movie. And it was
2266
01:32:34.260 --> 01:32:35.319
a very funny movie.
2267
01:32:35.739 --> 01:32:38.989
Oh, wait a minute. Am I making this up? But
2268
01:32:39.050 --> 01:32:41.670
is Jack Tripper in that movie, too?
2269
01:32:41.770 --> 01:32:43.850
Yes, he plays the president. I have an affair with him.
2270
01:32:44.529 --> 01:32:44.989
Oh, really?
2271
01:32:45.029 --> 01:32:45.590
Yes, John Ritter.
2272
01:32:45.630 --> 01:32:46.430
John Ritter.
2273
01:32:46.569 --> 01:32:48.130
Oh, here's the, this is a, this is, yeah.
2274
01:32:48.170 --> 01:32:49.310
This is a scene.
2275
01:32:49.409 --> 01:32:51.479
If you Googled meet Muling.
2276
01:32:54.000 --> 01:32:55.800
That's, that's you.
2277
01:32:55.819 --> 01:32:57.239
You gotta Google meet Muling.
2278
01:32:57.420 --> 01:32:59.619
In blonde hair. No, no, no, no.
2279
01:32:59.899 --> 01:33:02.180
I'm the Vietnamese rock and roll singer.
2280
01:33:02.600 --> 01:33:02.739
Oh.
2281
01:33:02.819 --> 01:33:05.510
The thing is, this takes place in the future, 1998,
2282
01:33:05.510 --> 01:33:06.770
when there's no more gas.
2283
01:33:07.050 --> 01:33:07.390
Right.
2284
01:33:07.670 --> 01:33:11.970
And the president lives with his girlfriend in a condo.
2285
01:33:12.939 --> 01:33:16.460
And he's an S-hole. And I come from Vietnam, which
2286
01:33:16.520 --> 01:33:19.020
is like Paris. It's the coolest place on Earth because
2287
01:33:19.039 --> 01:33:21.140
of all the war money. So it's the only cool place.
2288
01:33:21.180 --> 01:33:23.840
And I come to do a telethon for America because
2289
01:33:23.880 --> 01:33:24.619
America's broke.
2290
01:33:24.840 --> 01:33:26.479
I remember this movie.
2291
01:33:26.520 --> 01:33:27.359
And I'm a big star.
2292
01:33:27.920 --> 01:33:28.199
Again.
2293
01:33:28.220 --> 01:33:29.779
Yeah, Fred Willard.
2294
01:33:29.479 --> 01:33:30.000
Was in it.
2295
01:33:30.260 --> 01:33:31.880
I think a lot of this stuff was sort of
2296
01:33:31.960 --> 01:33:36.699
Coke-fueled back in the day. This was a bizarre movie.
2297
01:33:36.819 --> 01:33:40.760
Oh, absolutely insane. It was an insane movie. That's me.
2298
01:33:41.399 --> 01:33:46.119
Yeah.
2299
01:33:46.819 --> 01:33:48.359
Talking about, like, 79, 78.
2300
01:33:48.359 --> 01:33:51.180
I think it came out in 1980, which we all
2301
01:33:51.199 --> 01:33:52.359
thought was so futuristic.
2302
01:33:52.420 --> 01:33:53.340
It was 1980. Right.
2303
01:33:53.619 --> 01:33:58.300
Yeah, but you've got to Google Meat Moulin, and it's insane.
2304
01:33:58.600 --> 01:33:59.640
Yeah. Oh, Meat Loaf.
2305
01:33:59.699 --> 01:34:00.579
Meat Loaf's in this movie.
2306
01:34:00.600 --> 01:34:01.479
Oh, Meat Loaf is in it.
2307
01:34:02.119 --> 01:34:02.439
Jesus.
2308
01:34:02.500 --> 01:34:03.460
I think, there I am.
2309
01:34:04.119 --> 01:34:04.239
Oh.
2310
01:34:05.159 --> 01:34:05.600
There I am.
2311
01:34:06.159 --> 01:34:08.819
I see. Ooh. Let's hear you. I'm not a country.
2312
01:34:08.859 --> 01:34:10.899
I'm not an office. I'm not a decorative seal. I'm
2313
01:34:10.939 --> 01:34:12.579
a person. I'm a man.
2314
01:34:12.640 --> 01:34:14.760
I'm a man who wants to make love to you.
2315
01:34:14.779 --> 01:34:19.390
Oh, you want to fuck.
2316
01:34:20.119 --> 01:34:25.149
I don't know if you could do that today. That's
2317
01:34:25.210 --> 01:34:28.750
Harvey Korman. Wow, he was olding back then. I do
2318
01:34:28.770 --> 01:34:31.539
remember these movies. A lot of these 80s movies, like
2319
01:34:31.560 --> 01:34:34.279
Hot Tub and stuff like that, where they just pick...
2320
01:34:34.439 --> 01:34:37.479
I think they made the poster before they made the movie.
2321
01:34:37.739 --> 01:34:39.350
That was Roger Corman. I worked for him.
2322
01:34:39.890 --> 01:34:40.930
Oh, there you are.
2323
01:34:41.090 --> 01:34:42.609
Roger Corman used to see a movie like.
2324
01:34:44.869 --> 01:34:46.010
Back to the Future came out.
2325
01:34:46.090 --> 01:34:47.819
I still am.
2326
01:34:47.920 --> 01:34:49.819
And he came running in the next morning and he went,
2327
01:34:49.899 --> 01:34:51.840
I got it. And he had like a drawing on
2328
01:34:51.859 --> 01:34:53.899
a piece of paper, Forward to the Past.
2329
01:34:54.079 --> 01:34:55.470
Because Back to the Future.
2330
01:34:55.510 --> 01:34:56.069
Right, right.
2331
01:34:56.210 --> 01:34:58.050
So now he made a movie called Forward to the Past.
2332
01:34:58.350 --> 01:34:58.470
Right.
2333
01:34:58.489 --> 01:34:59.430
And it was like, hello.
2334
01:34:59.750 --> 01:34:59.949
Yeah.
2335
01:35:00.210 --> 01:35:06.810
Again, coke. Zane, how do people, if they'd like to contribute,
2336
01:35:06.869 --> 01:35:10.090
by the way, to the very worthy cause, how do
2337
01:35:10.109 --> 01:35:10.369
they do this?
2338
01:35:10.390 --> 01:35:14.029
The very worthy cause, they go to Survivor Mitzvah. It's
2339
01:35:14.109 --> 01:35:17.859
Survivor M-I-T-Z-V-A-H dot org.
2340
01:35:18.260 --> 01:35:19.399
And you can click to donate.
2341
01:35:19.659 --> 01:35:24.039
You can also go to YouTube and just search for
2342
01:35:24.100 --> 01:35:27.239
Zane Busby Why We Go. And you'll see an incredible
2343
01:35:28.380 --> 01:35:30.539
trailer that I put together of me out in the
2344
01:35:30.579 --> 01:35:34.239
snow helping these people in their little huts. I, again,
2345
01:35:34.300 --> 01:35:35.640
not a Jew, but once.
2346
01:35:35.520 --> 01:35:35.880
In a while.
2347
01:35:35.979 --> 01:35:37.220
You don't know you're not a Jew.
2348
01:35:37.380 --> 01:35:37.880
That's true.
2349
01:35:38.439 --> 01:35:38.920
I make it.
2350
01:35:39.140 --> 01:35:44.000
I'm certainly honorary. I do make it out to the
2351
01:35:44.060 --> 01:35:46.500
Holocaust Museum every once in a while just when I
2352
01:35:46.520 --> 01:35:48.329
feel like I need some cheering up.
2353
01:35:48.340 --> 01:35:49.020
Cheering up, right.
2354
01:35:49.420 --> 01:35:55.380
And I see what happened in the Holocaust, and then
2355
01:35:55.420 --> 01:35:56.140
I come home and.
2356
01:35:56.100 --> 01:35:58.270
I go, we need to bomb Germany. Again.
2357
01:35:58.579 --> 01:36:00.579
We do. We do. We need to bomb again because
2358
01:36:00.659 --> 01:36:03.920
whatever they didn't get off with enough. I mean, they
2359
01:36:03.960 --> 01:36:07.399
got off really light considering what they did.
2360
01:36:08.439 --> 01:36:10.140
You know that, you know, they had a lot of help.
2361
01:36:10.199 --> 01:36:11.300
It's like 68 countries.
2362
01:36:11.640 --> 01:36:12.000
Yeah.
2363
01:36:12.020 --> 01:36:13.239
So we'll do some extra bombing.
2364
01:36:13.270 --> 01:36:16.149
But let's start in Germany because they do the most
2365
01:36:16.229 --> 01:36:18.149
fucked up thing on the planet and they get a
2366
01:36:18.170 --> 01:36:22.279
lot of. Hitler gets a lot of credit for it,
2367
01:36:22.770 --> 01:36:26.539
and he should, but he ain't flying airplanes and building
2368
01:36:26.619 --> 01:36:32.359
ovens and making railroad tracks. Somebody had to. Hitler needed
2369
01:36:32.430 --> 01:36:37.609
a hand. That's my organization, HitlerNeedsAHand.org.
2370
01:36:37.630 --> 01:36:40.770
The point is, somebody had to go, slow down, Adolf.
2371
01:36:40.810 --> 01:36:41.529
What are we saying again?
2372
01:36:42.000 --> 01:36:43.659
I'd like to round up all the Jews and put
2373
01:36:43.680 --> 01:36:44.260
them in an oven.
2374
01:36:44.880 --> 01:36:45.119
All right.
2375
01:36:45.199 --> 01:36:47.119
Let me get my steno pad out.
2376
01:36:47.619 --> 01:36:48.060
Let's see.
2377
01:36:48.180 --> 01:36:50.100
Now, what size oven were you thinking?
2378
01:36:50.220 --> 01:36:51.600
Hey, I'm just spitballing.
2379
01:36:51.619 --> 01:36:54.210
How about tards and gypsies as long as we're out
2380
01:36:54.270 --> 01:36:54.590
on the street?
2381
01:36:54.630 --> 01:36:55.510
As long as we're doing.
2382
01:36:55.510 --> 01:36:55.710
It, right.
2383
01:36:55.729 --> 01:36:55.810
Sure.
2384
01:36:55.829 --> 01:36:58.310
Well, this is the whole point. Not enough people stood up,
2385
01:36:58.350 --> 01:37:00.390
and now they can stand up. There are still Holocaust
2386
01:37:00.409 --> 01:37:01.189
survivors out there.
2387
01:37:01.310 --> 01:37:03.930
If you were too young, you were born after the war,
2388
01:37:04.170 --> 01:37:06.069
you couldn't do anything then. You can do something now,
2389
01:37:06.100 --> 01:37:08.979
and they're in their final years. Let's show them that
2390
01:37:09.100 --> 01:37:10.680
someone cares because no one cared then.
2391
01:37:11.340 --> 01:37:13.319
I'll tell you what I care about. Go to my PC.
2392
01:37:13.340 --> 01:37:14.680
That's right.
2393
01:37:15.409 --> 01:37:19.520
Everyone has a horrible workplace. Oh, that's right. Boy, concentration camp.
2394
01:37:19.600 --> 01:37:21.760
That'd be a bad place. That'd be a bad gig.
2395
01:37:22.140 --> 01:37:23.020
So hard to think.
2396
01:37:23.140 --> 01:37:25.800
If I worked at a concentration camp, I would definitely
2397
01:37:26.039 --> 01:37:29.199
get my iPad and just work from home.
2398
01:37:29.800 --> 01:37:31.239
You know what I mean?
2399
01:37:31.260 --> 01:37:35.819
I'd call into the commandant and go, listen, I'm going
2400
01:37:35.850 --> 01:37:39.760
to work from home. I'm going to concentrate at home today. No,
2401
01:37:39.779 --> 01:37:41.470
but I mean, when I talk about I mean, that's
2402
01:37:41.510 --> 01:37:44.130
the ultimate horrible workplace. I mean, you got to feel
2403
01:37:44.170 --> 01:37:45.079
bad for everyone in it.
2404
01:37:45.109 --> 01:37:46.340
But let's let's face it.
2405
01:37:46.350 --> 01:37:48.439
There had to be a handful of soldiers just standing
2406
01:37:48.449 --> 01:37:50.579
there going, fuck, I was a butcher two months ago.
2407
01:37:50.619 --> 01:37:53.039
What the fuck am I doing here? This sucks.
2408
01:37:53.420 --> 01:37:53.659
Yeah.
2409
01:37:53.699 --> 01:37:55.939
So if you hate your workplace, do you want to
2410
01:37:55.970 --> 01:38:02.279
talk about annoying co-workers? And bad cubicles, a messy desk. Yeah.
2411
01:38:02.680 --> 01:38:05.050
Then we got a little contest for you.
2412
01:38:05.439 --> 01:38:08.390
Go to my PC and you can send them a
2413
01:38:08.449 --> 01:38:11.890
little tweet about your terrible office, including a picture. You
2414
01:38:11.930 --> 01:38:13.930
take a picture of your horrible office, send them a
2415
01:38:14.010 --> 01:38:16.869
tweet about it, and then I'll pick the worst office
2416
01:38:16.970 --> 01:38:19.890
and you'll win a brand new iPad, too. And that
2417
01:38:19.949 --> 01:38:22.750
way you'll not have to go in. You can just work.
2418
01:38:23.399 --> 01:38:26.229
from your iPad too, because you gotta go to My
2419
01:38:26.270 --> 01:38:28.250
PC and you just get the app and you can
2420
01:38:28.369 --> 01:38:29.930
use it and you can get to your work computer
2421
01:38:29.939 --> 01:38:31.779
without having to go in with all those smelly people.
2422
01:38:32.180 --> 01:38:36.680
Just use hashtag, I say the hashtag, Worst Office by
2423
01:38:36.800 --> 01:38:42.079
Friday the 28th. That is Friday 10-28, and you could
2424
01:38:42.119 --> 01:38:45.850
win yourself a new iPad, too.
2425
01:38:45.930 --> 01:38:50.560
For my good friends, go to My PC. Zane, now
2426
01:38:50.579 --> 01:38:51.119
where were we?
2427
01:38:51.800 --> 01:38:52.359
Where were we?
2428
01:38:52.699 --> 01:38:53.479
Ah, the mitzvah thing.
2429
01:38:53.500 --> 01:38:59.649
So what made you decide to drop this lucrative directing
2430
01:38:59.689 --> 01:39:02.369
and writing and performing and all that and head out
2431
01:39:02.390 --> 01:39:04.310
to all these godforsaken places and.
2432
01:39:04.289 --> 01:39:04.729
Do what you do?
2433
01:39:04.750 --> 01:39:06.250
Because when I came back, I was there and I thought,
2434
01:39:06.270 --> 01:39:08.090
this is a no-brainer. When I come back, I'll find
2435
01:39:08.130 --> 01:39:10.340
a charity that's doing this. I'll donate to the charity.
2436
01:39:10.359 --> 01:39:11.359
I'll give them my list of people.
2437
01:39:12.300 --> 01:39:12.859
See you, you know.
2438
01:39:13.239 --> 01:39:15.260
And I went on the Internet, and there is no
2439
01:39:15.279 --> 01:39:17.500
charity doing this. There are people doing other things, but
2440
01:39:17.520 --> 01:39:19.760
there's no one giving them direct financial aid, and they really,
2441
01:39:19.800 --> 01:39:23.020
really need it. So it seemed like I just couldn't just,
2442
01:39:23.050 --> 01:39:26.569
you know, stop because now, I don't know, winter was coming,
2443
01:39:26.590 --> 01:39:28.649
and I'm thinking, like, God, there's no heat. They're 90
2444
01:39:28.649 --> 01:39:30.930
years old. They're alone in the snow. So I just
2445
01:39:30.949 --> 01:39:32.670
took it upon myself to keep it going. And then
2446
01:39:33.029 --> 01:39:35.210
as people that I knew did more and more expeditions
2447
01:39:35.289 --> 01:39:37.380
over there, they would email me names and go, we just.
2448
01:39:37.319 --> 01:39:39.880
Went to Moldova, and we found, like, you know, 40 people.
2449
01:39:40.199 --> 01:39:41.579
Put them on your list. And I'm going, what list?
2450
01:39:41.640 --> 01:39:42.949
And the list started to grow.
2451
01:39:42.989 --> 01:39:44.680
So it started with eight people, and now it's over 1,500
2452
01:39:44.680 --> 01:39:45.279
people and growing.
2453
01:39:46.579 --> 01:39:48.640
So it just keeps growing. How do you know, you know,
2454
01:39:48.680 --> 01:39:51.720
what if there's just some 31-year-old slackers? Like, oh, yeah,
2455
01:39:51.739 --> 01:39:52.300
I've been there.
2456
01:39:52.420 --> 01:39:52.680
Yeah.
2457
01:39:52.800 --> 01:39:53.300
It was hell.
2458
01:39:53.439 --> 01:39:53.640
Yeah.
2459
01:39:53.659 --> 01:39:55.960
Those Nazis are a bitch. I eat a lot of creatine,
2460
01:39:55.979 --> 01:39:56.850
so I look pretty good.
2461
01:39:57.199 --> 01:39:59.270
That's why we go, because we go and we vet
2462
01:39:59.310 --> 01:40:01.750
them personally. We go, we get their stories, we know
2463
01:40:01.770 --> 01:40:04.029
who they are. There's no one there who's like.
2464
01:40:03.949 --> 01:40:06.689
A slacker, right? So you'd be like, hey, 86-year-old poor
2465
01:40:06.750 --> 01:40:09.430
bitch who's eating dog food, you weren't in any concert.
2466
01:40:09.470 --> 01:40:11.770
Get your craggity ass out of here.
2467
01:40:11.810 --> 01:40:12.760
You just like dog food.
2468
01:40:12.810 --> 01:40:13.520
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here.
2469
01:40:13.529 --> 01:40:14.539
Yeah, that doesn't happen.
2470
01:40:15.850 --> 01:40:18.829
All right, so a very worthy cause. I'll tell you
2471
01:40:18.850 --> 01:40:19.449
what you should do.
2472
01:40:19.689 --> 01:40:20.050
Okay.
2473
01:40:20.210 --> 01:40:23.369
You should check out our good friends at Stamps.com. And
2474
01:40:23.409 --> 01:40:23.890
I'll tell you why.
2475
01:40:23.909 --> 01:40:26.579
Because all the money you save doing this, if you're
2476
01:40:26.619 --> 01:40:31.439
running that home business especially, boom, goes right to Zane's
2477
01:40:32.199 --> 01:40:37.260
beautiful program over there. Yeah, at the Survivor of Midsommar Projects. Yeah,
2478
01:40:37.300 --> 01:40:38.659
this is why I get the big bucks.
2479
01:40:39.119 --> 01:40:40.420
Do you want to come read a letter and save
2480
01:40:40.460 --> 01:40:43.119
a life? We're doing this on November 6th. We're having
2481
01:40:43.310 --> 01:40:44.050
famous actors.
2482
01:40:44.399 --> 01:40:47.369
Well, then you don't need me.
2483
01:40:47.529 --> 01:40:49.829
I don't know some.
2484
01:40:50.010 --> 01:40:53.010
Zane, a very, very worthy cause. Come back when the
2485
01:40:53.050 --> 01:40:54.350
documentary comes out.
2486
01:40:54.369 --> 01:40:55.609
I certainly will. Thanks a lot.
2487
01:40:55.689 --> 01:40:56.170
Please.
2488
01:40:56.310 --> 01:41:01.920
It is SurvivorMitzvah.org. Right. And that mitzvah ends with an H.
2489
01:41:01.979 --> 01:41:04.539
I'll try to bring Not Jeff Beck with me if
2490
01:41:04.600 --> 01:41:05.199
I can find him.
2491
01:41:05.239 --> 01:41:06.439
Please dig him up.
2492
01:41:06.880 --> 01:41:09.550
So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Paul Bryan,
2493
01:41:09.590 --> 01:41:13.609
Zane Busby, and Allison Rosen saying mahalo.
2494
01:41:15.430 --> 01:41:16.729
You don't know you're not a Jew.
2495
01:41:18.069 --> 01:41:23.710
All right, that's Adam Krulishow 685. Coming up next, we
2496
01:41:23.729 --> 01:41:26.930
have Adam Krulishow 717. Mike Lynch and Mike August on
2497
01:41:26.949 --> 01:41:28.689
the road with Adam from 2011.
2498
01:41:28.689 --> 01:41:38.630
Check it out. We're driving home. We're 368 miles from L.A.,
2499
01:41:38.670 --> 01:41:42.810
so we thought we'd crank out a podcast. Mike Lynch
2500
01:41:42.909 --> 01:41:46.449
has the computer open with your question. Say hi, Mike. Hey,
2501
01:41:46.510 --> 01:41:52.180
how are you? And we have the satellite radio set.
2502
01:41:53.050 --> 01:41:57.010
to the First Wave station so we can listen to
2503
01:41:57.109 --> 01:42:01.329
totally fucked-down, piece-of-shit songs from the 80s that should not
2504
01:42:01.369 --> 01:42:04.189
be on the First Wave network. They should be on
2505
01:42:04.210 --> 01:42:07.390
the 80s network where they play all the other shitty
2506
01:42:07.810 --> 01:42:11.989
80s songs this fucking satellite radio plays. So we're hearing
2507
01:42:12.800 --> 01:42:17.119
a little white wedding from Billy Idol because you just...
2508
01:42:18.479 --> 01:42:21.329
It's not a drive from Sacramento to L.A. unless you
2509
01:42:21.369 --> 01:42:24.630
hear some shitty, fucked-out piece of shit Billy Idol song.
2510
01:42:24.649 --> 01:42:27.470
To be clear, it's Rebel Yell. Oh, Rebel Yell. Sorry.
2511
01:42:27.529 --> 01:42:30.489
He has so much range. It all sounds so different.
2512
01:42:31.560 --> 01:42:33.479
By the way, we're in a car that's capable of
2513
01:42:33.479 --> 01:42:38.739
170 miles an hour, but we're going 74 right now
2514
01:42:38.779 --> 01:42:43.810
because the man is out there lurking, and we don't
2515
01:42:43.850 --> 01:42:46.090
want to get a speeding ticket. I'll take the cruise
2516
01:42:46.170 --> 01:42:48.449
control up to 80. We'll see how it works.
2517
01:42:49.510 --> 01:42:52.350
That actually leads to the first question, Ace, which is
2518
01:42:52.510 --> 01:42:53.710
from Aaron Quilling.
2519
01:42:53.729 --> 01:42:55.289
Panamera?
2520
01:42:56.270 --> 01:42:58.770
Granted, if I were given a Panamera, I would drive
2521
01:42:58.800 --> 01:43:00.800
the shit out of it, but why the fuck would
2522
01:43:00.819 --> 01:43:04.409
you pick the worst-looking elephant suppository of a car if
2523
01:43:04.430 --> 01:43:06.529
you had the choice to drive a very fast car
2524
01:43:06.569 --> 01:43:09.470
for free? There are so many beautiful luxury rocket ships
2525
01:43:09.489 --> 01:43:12.750
in the world, and the Panamera is objectively ugly. I
2526
01:43:12.810 --> 01:43:15.489
am disappointed, which is not something I can normally say
2527
01:43:15.550 --> 01:43:16.689
about you or your show.
2528
01:43:17.600 --> 01:43:21.819
Well, I will say this. What's that asshole's name? Aaron. Aaron.
2529
01:43:22.479 --> 01:43:24.939
With two A's. Like anyone fucking needs you and your
2530
01:43:24.979 --> 01:43:29.050
second A. When I first saw this car, I did
2531
01:43:29.090 --> 01:43:32.130
not like the way it looks. It's hard to build
2532
01:43:32.229 --> 01:43:37.380
a four-door supercar that looks good. It's when I climbed
2533
01:43:37.539 --> 01:43:40.890
into the car, that's when I realized, that's when the
2534
01:43:40.930 --> 01:43:47.630
love affair began with the Porsche. Many experts would beg
2535
01:43:47.670 --> 01:43:52.579
to differ with your analyses of the Panamera. The inside
2536
01:43:52.600 --> 01:43:57.319
is a beautiful German cockpit. It's like a fighter jet.
2537
01:43:57.340 --> 01:44:01.010
And as far as performance goes, you're not going to
2538
01:44:01.050 --> 01:44:04.800
do much better than this car. If it has four
2539
01:44:04.840 --> 01:44:09.119
doors and it's under $ 100, 000, I don't think you're doing
2540
01:44:09.159 --> 01:44:11.579
better than this car. I did not want to drive
2541
01:44:11.699 --> 01:44:15.579
a speedster out here with Mike, Mike, and all our luggage.
2542
01:44:16.119 --> 01:44:18.239
Mike August is in the back seat. We're going to
2543
01:44:18.300 --> 01:44:20.560
set his cell phone off soon just to show you
2544
01:44:20.600 --> 01:44:25.590
how annoying he is. And... I shouldn't have to defend
2545
01:44:25.630 --> 01:44:29.390
the Panamera. I think the riding critics and the car
2546
01:44:29.449 --> 01:44:31.750
critics throughout the world have already done a nice job
2547
01:44:31.829 --> 01:44:36.819
of defending this car. I agree it's not the greatest
2548
01:44:36.899 --> 01:44:39.880
looking car, but it was tested in a wind tunnel,
2549
01:44:39.979 --> 01:44:42.300
and it was tested on the Autobahn, and that's a
2550
01:44:42.359 --> 01:44:45.579
fuck a lot better than most cars can say. And
2551
01:44:46.060 --> 01:44:48.920
so far, big thumbs up to Porsche for lending us
2552
01:44:48.939 --> 01:44:53.729
this baby. Thank you. All right, next one is Kevin Leeson.
2553
01:44:55.279 --> 01:44:58.380
It seems to me that Adam makes no bones about
2554
01:44:58.399 --> 01:45:00.640
the fact that he is a dedicated sports fan.
2555
01:45:01.539 --> 01:45:02.020
Bullet points.
2556
01:45:02.199 --> 01:45:05.260
He likes the pugilism of combat sports. He likes the
2557
01:45:05.300 --> 01:45:08.479
speed of racing sports. He likes the full contact provided
2558
01:45:08.539 --> 01:45:12.439
by football. So how come Adam isn't a fan of hockey,
2559
01:45:12.779 --> 01:45:15.600
which combines all three aspects of sports that he appreciates
2560
01:45:15.640 --> 01:45:16.039
the most?
2561
01:45:16.680 --> 01:45:19.020
Good point. Let's see what other shitty song they're playing
2562
01:45:19.100 --> 01:45:27.720
on first wave. It's like they're playing gay club music
2563
01:45:27.739 --> 01:45:30.869
the whole time. You guys just missed like a gay
2564
01:45:30.890 --> 01:45:34.350
version of I Will Survive or a gayer version of
2565
01:45:34.430 --> 01:45:39.529
the Donna Summer song. It's first wave. You're supposed to
2566
01:45:39.600 --> 01:45:42.979
play the Pretenders and Joe Jackson and Elvis Costello. Why?
2567
01:45:43.000 --> 01:45:45.039
Why do we have to hear the fucking Pet Shop Boys?
2568
01:45:45.529 --> 01:45:47.529
And Mike, back me up. Have you heard a good
2569
01:45:47.569 --> 01:45:50.569
song on this station since we started? No, not since
2570
01:45:50.590 --> 01:45:56.819
we left Los Angeles. All right. Hockey. I grew up
2571
01:45:56.840 --> 01:46:01.140
in North Hollywood, and we just didn't have hockey. It's
2572
01:46:01.180 --> 01:46:04.260
too hot, too expensive. There's no ice to be found.
2573
01:46:05.500 --> 01:46:10.100
And I think hockey is one of those... Hockey... The
2574
01:46:10.159 --> 01:46:14.619
sport of hockey is sort of like poi and Vegemite.
2575
01:46:14.779 --> 01:46:19.170
Either get in early and often or you're out. There's
2576
01:46:19.229 --> 01:46:24.510
no guy that discovers hockey in his mid-30s. And I'm
2577
01:46:24.550 --> 01:46:28.010
no different. I appreciate it. I appreciate the skill and
2578
01:46:28.029 --> 01:46:31.850
the artistry. I love the fact that those guys are
2579
01:46:31.890 --> 01:46:38.140
like ballet dancers on ice. And it's brutal and it's brilliant.
2580
01:46:38.760 --> 01:46:42.659
But I just never was, and I'm sure soccer, no,
2581
01:46:42.699 --> 01:46:47.840
soccer's gay. I don't like soccer. I'm sure Australian rules,
2582
01:46:47.920 --> 01:46:51.270
football is cool or rugby is cool or cricket is cool.
2583
01:46:51.390 --> 01:46:55.170
I just never got in on it early enough. And
2584
01:46:55.470 --> 01:46:58.970
I always feel like, A, the Kings, the Los Angeles Kings,
2585
01:46:59.010 --> 01:47:02.609
have almost always sucked. And so there's never been any
2586
01:47:02.649 --> 01:47:04.829
reason to get on board. B, I never played it.
2587
01:47:05.310 --> 01:47:08.529
You know, I played basketball. I played football. I played baseball.
2588
01:47:08.609 --> 01:47:12.380
I boxed. I did all that, you know, kickboxing and
2589
01:47:12.399 --> 01:47:15.520
all that stuff. So I was indoctrinated into that stuff
2590
01:47:15.560 --> 01:47:19.180
early and often. You make a valid point, but I'm
2591
01:47:19.220 --> 01:47:23.479
too old to change. So thank you. And sorry for
2592
01:47:23.520 --> 01:47:27.319
dismissing your point. And I think the world, well, maybe
2593
01:47:27.340 --> 01:47:30.239
not the world, but at least North America and certainly
2594
01:47:30.300 --> 01:47:34.710
California sort of agrees with me on hockey. On paper,
2595
01:47:34.750 --> 01:47:38.310
it's the greatest sport ever. On paper, it's ten times
2596
01:47:38.390 --> 01:47:42.000
better than baseball, but there's just something that's not quite
2597
01:47:42.060 --> 01:47:45.479
there about hockey for me. Is it all the foreigners?
2598
01:47:47.029 --> 01:47:50.350
the european foreigners i enjoy i enjoy those guys i
2599
01:47:50.390 --> 01:47:54.489
enjoy the enforcers uh i enjoy the fact that those
2600
01:47:54.550 --> 01:47:57.840
guys were forced to wear helmets but yet do not
2601
01:47:57.909 --> 01:48:00.020
cinch up the chin strap so that when their head
2602
01:48:00.069 --> 01:48:02.920
does hit the ground the helmet pops off before their
2603
01:48:02.939 --> 01:48:06.020
head hits the ground i also like the fact that
2604
01:48:06.840 --> 01:48:11.520
When they instituted the helmet law in hockey, they grandfathered
2605
01:48:11.520 --> 01:48:14.000
all the old guys who were in the league before
2606
01:48:14.000 --> 01:48:16.680
the law came in so they didn't have to wear helmets.
2607
01:48:16.680 --> 01:48:19.159
So half the guys were in helmets and the other
2608
01:48:19.159 --> 01:48:22.310
half weren't. That's a weird sport to me. Imagine football
2609
01:48:22.350 --> 01:48:26.529
being played that way. But either way, you're right. I
2610
01:48:26.569 --> 01:48:28.170
just have not embraced it.
2611
01:48:28.920 --> 01:48:30.100
I'm not a hockey fan, but you know what I
2612
01:48:30.100 --> 01:48:33.180
do dig is that they throw an octopus on the ice.
2613
01:48:34.350 --> 01:48:36.649
That part of the fandom I'm into.
2614
01:48:37.270 --> 01:48:42.020
Yeah, is that Detroit? Boston? I'm not exactly sure where
2615
01:48:42.039 --> 01:48:46.319
it was. Mike August, who throws the octopi on the ice?
2616
01:48:46.340 --> 01:48:52.899
I think he's asleep. A hat trick? Yeah, a hat trick,
2617
01:48:52.930 --> 01:48:54.970
but where are you? You've got to be somewhere, don't you?
2618
01:48:55.819 --> 01:48:59.300
I thought it was universal. No, they don't do that
2619
01:48:59.380 --> 01:49:02.720
like Charlotte for the ice devils or whoever the fuck
2620
01:49:02.760 --> 01:49:04.920
they have over there. I'm not an octopus. I've got
2621
01:49:04.939 --> 01:49:08.010
it called banisher. All right. Well, I've derailed us. I'll
2622
01:49:08.029 --> 01:49:10.250
get back on track. Thank you. I do like throwing
2623
01:49:10.270 --> 01:49:12.369
the octopus on there, and maybe it is only for
2624
01:49:12.390 --> 01:49:15.090
the hat trick. And then what do you do? You
2625
01:49:15.130 --> 01:49:17.170
bring an octopus to the game with you in case
2626
01:49:17.189 --> 01:49:19.789
there's a hat trick? Yeah, you have to smuggle an
2627
01:49:19.829 --> 01:49:23.770
octopus in on your pants. I guess worst case scenario,
2628
01:49:23.890 --> 01:49:28.310
no hat trick, we're eating calamari tomorrow night. All right,
2629
01:49:28.390 --> 01:49:33.890
this is from Ryan Holzer. He asks, tell us more
2630
01:49:33.930 --> 01:49:35.170
about Mr. Sopanzi.
2631
01:49:35.609 --> 01:49:37.989
I had a junior high shop teacher by that name
2632
01:49:38.060 --> 01:49:41.439
about 10 to 15 years after you in another state,
2633
01:49:41.800 --> 01:49:44.319
and I can't quit wondering if it's the same guy.
2634
01:49:44.840 --> 01:49:48.779
Hated kids, Vietnam vet, always telling war stories and telling
2635
01:49:48.819 --> 01:49:50.960
us why we didn't know shit about the world.
2636
01:49:51.180 --> 01:49:56.000
Delightful guy. Yeah, Mr. Sopanzi, I can still see him now,
2637
01:49:56.079 --> 01:50:02.560
just heavy set, big gut, big forearms. He taught phys ed.
2638
01:50:02.579 --> 01:50:06.510
Do they even call it phys ed? Yeah, I think so.
2639
01:50:07.369 --> 01:50:12.750
Physical education. Physical education. He taught phys ed over at
2640
01:50:12.909 --> 01:50:16.390
Walter Reed in the, I don't know, probably the 50s
2641
01:50:16.430 --> 01:50:20.279
through the 90s or something. He wasn't a shop teacher,
2642
01:50:20.560 --> 01:50:25.050
so he taught P.E., And he hated kids along with
2643
01:50:25.090 --> 01:50:30.050
his cohorts, Mr. Walters and Mr. Hensley. Mr. Nelson, who
2644
01:50:30.090 --> 01:50:33.670
was Ricky Nelson's cousin, easy on the eyes, let me
2645
01:50:33.689 --> 01:50:37.550
tell you right now. He was cool, probably because he
2646
01:50:37.569 --> 01:50:41.069
was so good looking. But all the other guys were dicks.
2647
01:50:41.149 --> 01:50:46.630
And Sopanzi, probably not the same guy because Sopanzi was
2648
01:50:46.710 --> 01:50:49.170
a phys ed and not a shop teacher, on the
2649
01:50:49.210 --> 01:50:51.770
other hand. I don't know what the criteria was for
2650
01:50:51.869 --> 01:50:54.510
phys ed. At least when I went to junior high,
2651
01:50:54.529 --> 01:50:58.050
it was like, look, do you have a love of sports? Yes,
2652
01:50:58.149 --> 01:51:01.720
I do. Do you hate children? Yes, I do. You're in.
2653
01:51:02.439 --> 01:51:06.699
And that was basically it. Would you like to shame them?
2654
01:51:06.720 --> 01:51:09.359
Make them try to climb up ropes? Maybe throw a
2655
01:51:09.380 --> 01:51:10.619
dodgeball at them every now and again?
2656
01:51:10.640 --> 01:51:10.710
Yes.
2657
01:51:10.920 --> 01:51:18.229
Yes. Yes, I would. Sign here. Sign here. Mother-in-law advice
2658
01:51:18.289 --> 01:51:21.310
from Patrick, or ask me for mother-in-law advice from Patrick.
2659
01:51:21.369 --> 01:51:26.840
Let's hear if there's a gay song. I'm in jail now.
2660
01:51:26.920 --> 01:51:29.819
I'm in jail. I'm in jail. I'm in jail. I
2661
01:51:29.819 --> 01:51:32.859
like it here. It's nice. I like it. Hello, Dad.
2662
01:51:32.920 --> 01:51:37.699
I'm in jail. Hello. Hello, Dad. Hi. Your Gilbert Gottfried
2663
01:51:37.720 --> 01:51:40.479
came out with a song in the 80s? I'm in jail.
2664
01:51:40.640 --> 01:51:47.090
I'm in jail. What the hell is that? I'm in jail. God,
2665
01:51:47.119 --> 01:51:51.390
this fucking channel is such a piece of shit. It's
2666
01:51:51.430 --> 01:51:55.770
called First Wave, and my interpretation of First Wave is
2667
01:51:55.789 --> 01:52:00.109
you're going to play... It's an 80s station that's supposed
2668
01:52:00.149 --> 01:52:03.529
to play the first wave of 80s music, but they
2669
01:52:03.590 --> 01:52:08.630
play bizarre gay disco songs, and then songs I've never heard,
2670
01:52:08.689 --> 01:52:11.369
and I grew up listening to K-Rox. I've heard every
2671
01:52:11.850 --> 01:52:15.300
80s song. Yeah, for the band to stump you.
2672
01:52:15.770 --> 01:52:17.409
But for you to not know what the song is,
2673
01:52:17.489 --> 01:52:20.090
is pretty astounding, because you're an encyclopedia.
2674
01:52:20.170 --> 01:52:27.000
That very night in Manhattan, I said, Kendall, I said, idiot.
2675
01:52:27.039 --> 01:52:31.229
DJ, now. Please play a decent song. Just play one
2676
01:52:31.239 --> 01:52:39.350
pretender song, would you? Yeah. It's weird because it's all
2677
01:52:39.609 --> 01:52:42.210
syntho shit.
2678
01:52:42.409 --> 01:52:45.090
August just took an Amel Popper just to feel like
2679
01:52:45.109 --> 01:52:53.609
it's appropriate. Patrick McSally asks, I started listening when you
2680
01:52:53.649 --> 01:52:58.630
were contemplating the podcast concept on Simmons' show back in
2681
01:52:58.630 --> 01:53:00.970
2009 and I've been a fan ever since. A few
2682
01:53:01.010 --> 01:53:03.409
times since, I've heard you mention how your mother-in-law was
2683
01:53:03.470 --> 01:53:06.989
bipolar and had a 4th or 5th degree black belt.
2684
01:53:07.550 --> 01:53:10.649
Strangely enough, my fiancé' s mom is a fifth-degree black belt
2685
01:53:10.949 --> 01:53:14.020
who was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. So I have
2686
01:53:14.060 --> 01:53:15.840
to ask you if you have any advice on how
2687
01:53:15.859 --> 01:53:17.500
to deal with this type of situation.
2688
01:53:18.060 --> 01:53:19.300
My phone's ringing.
2689
01:53:19.800 --> 01:53:20.079
Uh-oh.
2690
01:53:20.720 --> 01:53:29.159
We're taking a call. Jesus Christ. Dawson, edit this out. Oh,
2691
01:53:29.229 --> 01:53:32.270
who cares? I'll just let it go. Fuck it. I'm
2692
01:53:32.670 --> 01:53:33.270
calling back.
2693
01:53:34.619 --> 01:53:39.199
All right, so mother-in-law advice. So far, the dude-maintain approach
2694
01:53:39.279 --> 01:53:40.020
hasn't worked.
2695
01:53:41.689 --> 01:53:47.750
Boy, this is tough. Yeah, my mother-in-law, I mean, I
2696
01:53:47.770 --> 01:53:50.949
was there. I think it'll be in the new book, right, Mike?
2697
01:53:51.170 --> 01:53:55.050
It will. Her worst day in my life is when
2698
01:53:55.109 --> 01:53:58.229
she had an episode and we had to go fish
2699
01:53:58.270 --> 01:54:02.850
her out of her house. And the idea was... have
2700
01:54:02.890 --> 01:54:05.409
to go check yourself into the hospital, because you're having
2701
01:54:05.449 --> 01:54:09.500
a manic episode, and she said, I'm not going anywhere,
2702
01:54:09.520 --> 01:54:14.800
and I said, look, and I feel like I've had
2703
01:54:14.880 --> 01:54:20.770
this version of this conversation with many souls, I said
2704
01:54:20.810 --> 01:54:24.649
to her, listen, Helen, you which was also the name
2705
01:54:24.670 --> 01:54:27.609
of my grandmother, who was also a fucking nut buster.
2706
01:54:28.670 --> 01:54:32.729
I said, Helen, listen to me. You can either get
2707
01:54:32.760 --> 01:54:35.460
in the car and me and your daughter can drive
2708
01:54:35.500 --> 01:54:39.000
you to the hospital and you can get this taken
2709
01:54:39.039 --> 01:54:43.680
care of, get some medication in you, or I can
2710
01:54:43.739 --> 01:54:48.300
call the cops and they will physically remove you from
2711
01:54:48.359 --> 01:54:53.239
this house. now please think this through think of your
2712
01:54:53.319 --> 01:54:57.720
daughter think of yourself think of your furniture and let's
2713
01:54:58.039 --> 01:55:01.180
just get in the car and we'll go to the
2714
01:55:01.239 --> 01:55:05.079
hospital and get you some medication and she said call
2715
01:55:05.119 --> 01:55:09.659
the cops and I mean my wife started crying and
2716
01:55:09.699 --> 01:55:11.970
I just thought it was Friday night and I had
2717
01:55:12.069 --> 01:55:14.369
worked all fucking week long and I was just like
2718
01:55:14.390 --> 01:55:18.460
no all right awesome And we just sat there for
2719
01:55:18.500 --> 01:55:21.659
an hour waiting for the LAPD to show up. At
2720
01:55:21.680 --> 01:55:24.069
a certain point, a big black dude and a big
2721
01:55:24.109 --> 01:55:27.689
white dude showed up. She was in her bedroom. Danny
2722
01:55:27.710 --> 01:55:30.890
Glover and Mel Gibson. Danny mentioned that he was too
2723
01:55:30.989 --> 01:55:35.960
old for this shit. And they showed up and they said,
2724
01:55:35.979 --> 01:55:40.960
where is she? And she was in the bedroom. And
2725
01:55:41.000 --> 01:55:44.600
they said, can you go talk to her? And I said, well, Helen,
2726
01:55:44.979 --> 01:55:48.479
now the police are here. And now you need to
2727
01:55:48.520 --> 01:55:51.979
get in the car and go to the hospital. Or
2728
01:55:52.539 --> 01:55:56.500
they will physically take you out of your home and
2729
01:55:56.579 --> 01:55:59.359
put you in the back of that ambulance and take
2730
01:55:59.380 --> 01:56:02.550
you to the hospital. And she said, bring it on.
2731
01:56:02.569 --> 01:56:09.470
I remember thinking, Jesus fucking Christ, really? Really? Now, again... symbolically,
2732
01:56:09.810 --> 01:56:12.949
I've had this conversation with many people in my life
2733
01:56:12.970 --> 01:56:16.720
where I've said, here's what's going to happen. Sorry, we're
2734
01:56:16.760 --> 01:56:20.479
getting some rough road. Here's what's going to happen. Please
2735
01:56:20.600 --> 01:56:22.979
listen to me so that it doesn't have to go
2736
01:56:23.020 --> 01:56:26.359
down this way. And nine times out of ten, the
2737
01:56:26.479 --> 01:56:31.010
answer is, fuck you, bring it on. And that's exactly
2738
01:56:31.050 --> 01:56:38.260
what happened. The LAPD tried to grab her. She threw
2739
01:56:38.279 --> 01:56:42.159
a fucking spinning heel kick at one of them. Nightgown
2740
01:56:42.260 --> 01:56:46.359
flying every direction. I remember she tore the watch off
2741
01:56:46.390 --> 01:56:50.569
of one of the cops. And she was screaming. And
2742
01:56:50.630 --> 01:56:53.369
my wife, why did you do this to me? Why
2743
01:56:53.390 --> 01:56:56.149
are you making me do this? I hate you. You've
2744
01:56:56.229 --> 01:56:58.909
ruined my life. My wife was a ball of tears.
2745
01:56:59.649 --> 01:57:02.399
I was just fucking just going, please, old lady, just die.
2746
01:57:02.800 --> 01:57:08.340
Just die, would you please? And she got... thrown into
2747
01:57:08.380 --> 01:57:10.619
the back of an ambulance. And by the way, it
2748
01:57:11.500 --> 01:57:14.340
was like trying to get a cat into a dryer.
2749
01:57:15.800 --> 01:57:18.729
That's what it felt like to me. This is a
2750
01:57:18.750 --> 01:57:23.050
71-year-old Italian broad just throwing kicks and nails and screaming
2751
01:57:23.109 --> 01:57:27.539
at the top of her lungs. Just fucking screaming. What
2752
01:57:27.579 --> 01:57:30.859
year is this? You're married to Lynette at this point? No,
2753
01:57:30.960 --> 01:57:35.600
I think we're engaged or something. I can't remember. I
2754
01:57:35.640 --> 01:57:39.789
don't think we're married yet. Anyway, the good news is
2755
01:57:39.850 --> 01:57:40.390
she died.
2756
01:57:41.850 --> 01:57:43.949
Well, I asked when it was and whether you're married
2757
01:57:43.970 --> 01:57:47.630
yet because I wondered if it gave you pause, you know,
2758
01:57:47.989 --> 01:57:49.949
knowing that this is the family you were going to be.
2759
01:57:50.550 --> 01:57:54.210
It should have, let's put it that way. By comparison
2760
01:57:54.229 --> 01:57:58.000
to your own family, it's... Hey, look, I, you know,
2761
01:57:58.979 --> 01:58:01.220
at least there were some calories being burned. You know,
2762
01:58:01.239 --> 01:58:04.989
I appreciated that. My own family sitting home as we
2763
01:58:05.029 --> 01:58:09.729
speak waiting to die. Jim did go after some cops
2764
01:58:09.770 --> 01:58:13.760
with his horn once. He started swinging it. Yeah. I'm
2765
01:58:13.939 --> 01:58:19.319
going to attempt to switch lanes here. My advice to
2766
01:58:19.340 --> 01:58:22.979
this guy, first pad up like one of those cops
2767
01:58:23.060 --> 01:58:28.550
that does the attack dog demonstrations. And, uh, that, that's
2768
01:58:28.609 --> 01:58:30.930
about all I got for you. You know, the problem
2769
01:58:31.050 --> 01:58:34.050
is with people who need to be on meds is
2770
01:58:34.369 --> 01:58:36.989
they're the only people on the planet who don't think
2771
01:58:37.050 --> 01:58:39.800
they should be on meds. And you have to keep
2772
01:58:39.819 --> 01:58:41.699
them on their meds because if they don't stay on
2773
01:58:41.720 --> 01:58:46.460
their meds, she was a Jesus freak. We even had, uh,
2774
01:58:46.619 --> 01:58:49.899
I think Jimmy had our friend Tony Barbieri call her
2775
01:58:49.920 --> 01:58:54.609
as God to try to get her to take her meds. Uh,
2776
01:58:55.310 --> 01:59:01.130
On that same night? No, just on some other occasion.
2777
01:59:01.350 --> 01:59:07.750
You know, Tony does a pretty good God. So I
2778
01:59:07.789 --> 01:59:12.470
don't have any real advice other than Godspeed. All right,
2779
01:59:12.489 --> 01:59:18.289
let's see what horrible song to play. Oh. Oh.
2780
01:59:22.609 --> 01:59:24.569
I was just thinking about this song a second ago
2781
01:59:24.609 --> 01:59:28.079
because you were talking about that whatever Donna Summer gay
2782
01:59:28.140 --> 01:59:31.859
club version of it was. And thinking, this might be
2783
01:59:31.920 --> 01:59:36.260
the gayest song, notwithstanding Spandau Ballet's goal.
2784
01:59:36.699 --> 01:59:38.399
This might be the gayest song of all time. Is
2785
01:59:38.430 --> 01:59:43.789
this Pet Shop Boys? Is this Pet Shop Boys or Yaz? Nah,
2786
01:59:43.909 --> 01:59:49.170
I don't think it's Yaz. It's... What is going on
2787
01:59:49.210 --> 01:59:51.869
with this station, Mike? Can they just play a fucking
2788
01:59:51.890 --> 01:59:55.130
good song from the 80s? I know, you guys have
2789
01:59:55.170 --> 01:59:58.020
all heard it a million times. The early 80s is
2790
01:59:58.069 --> 02:00:02.659
my favorite genre and my favorite time of music, but
2791
02:00:02.699 --> 02:00:05.539
it's been ruined by every station because they play the
2792
02:00:05.720 --> 02:00:09.220
shittiest songs of the 80s. Reel it in a little bit.
2793
02:00:09.239 --> 02:00:16.949
There's a radar detector going off. All right, well, this
2794
02:00:17.029 --> 02:00:20.130
one's less a question and more a compliment, but I
2795
02:00:20.149 --> 02:00:25.159
figured it was worth sharing. From Lisa W. I just
2796
02:00:25.199 --> 02:00:27.699
saw Ace last night at the Keswick Theater.
2797
02:00:27.739 --> 02:00:30.840
He, of course, was amazing. Had my picture taken with
2798
02:00:30.880 --> 02:00:32.720
him and was so impressed that he was so kind.
2799
02:00:33.319 --> 02:00:35.300
As a mom of three, I am confident that I'm
2800
02:00:35.359 --> 02:00:38.109
not the target demo for the show, yet I'm his
2801
02:00:38.170 --> 02:00:38.810
biggest fan.
2802
02:00:39.550 --> 02:00:42.069
To the point. Ace gave me a great message at
2803
02:00:42.090 --> 02:00:43.930
the end of the show. Follow your dreams.
2804
02:00:44.539 --> 02:00:46.979
I grew up in a similar environment to Adam, so
2805
02:00:47.060 --> 02:00:49.739
I find his opinions and thoughts very insightful. A year
2806
02:00:49.779 --> 02:00:52.640
ago I decided to take Adam's advice. I worked for
2807
02:00:52.720 --> 02:00:55.100
free for six months learning the ins and outs of
2808
02:00:55.119 --> 02:00:57.659
the fitness industry. As you can imagine, there isn't a
2809
02:00:57.699 --> 02:01:00.949
lot of need for a 43-year-old mom in the fitness industry.
2810
02:01:01.449 --> 02:01:05.350
Long story short... I obtained my certification, started my own business,
2811
02:01:05.689 --> 02:01:08.829
and now have many clients along with teaching fitness classes.
2812
02:01:09.289 --> 02:01:09.810
I love it.
2813
02:01:10.170 --> 02:01:12.289
I often find myself giving my kids the same advice.
2814
02:01:12.850 --> 02:01:14.909
Do something you are good at and do it well.
2815
02:01:15.470 --> 02:01:17.890
I listen to Ace every day. Not only is he hilarious,
2816
02:01:18.229 --> 02:01:19.939
he is also smart and insightful.
2817
02:01:21.760 --> 02:01:28.630
Thank you. And, um... Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
2818
02:01:28.710 --> 02:01:31.310
I guess there's a couple of modes you can be
2819
02:01:31.439 --> 02:01:35.659
in in life. And, you know, being on the road...
2820
02:01:36.340 --> 02:01:39.189
I was watching a lot of TV, and you see
2821
02:01:39.189 --> 02:01:44.649
60 Minutes, and you see these poor kids who work
2822
02:01:44.689 --> 02:01:48.270
in these gold mines in Africa, and there's holes in
2823
02:01:48.310 --> 02:01:51.300
the ground, and they're shoeless, and they have to go
2824
02:01:51.340 --> 02:01:54.500
to work at eight years of age, and none of
2825
02:01:54.520 --> 02:01:56.840
them are going to see their 25th birthday, and it's
2826
02:01:57.119 --> 02:02:02.350
fucking depressing. And then today, right before I left for
2827
02:02:02.369 --> 02:02:08.229
the theater... they saw this whole expose on like slavery
2828
02:02:08.890 --> 02:02:12.109
and how it's still going on and the sex trade. And, uh,
2829
02:02:12.720 --> 02:02:15.220
I hope you're sitting down, but it's big in Mexico.
2830
02:02:15.239 --> 02:02:19.739
I know, I know. But every once in a while, even,
2831
02:02:19.979 --> 02:02:24.409
even the greatest place slips up and, um, they're bringing
2832
02:02:24.670 --> 02:02:29.229
girls over and they're basically enslaving them and selling them
2833
02:02:29.250 --> 02:02:32.100
and pimping them out. And then, They show the other
2834
02:02:32.180 --> 02:02:34.899
version of it where all these Indian guys come over
2835
02:02:34.939 --> 02:02:37.659
and they all have to stay in the same hotel for...
2836
02:02:37.680 --> 02:02:41.670
There's 50 of them. Then there's the kids, the migrant
2837
02:02:41.810 --> 02:02:46.829
field workers and all that. So, not to depress you, but...
2838
02:02:47.770 --> 02:02:49.489
By the way, it just put me in the mood
2839
02:02:49.510 --> 02:02:55.000
to do comedy. I smell potatoes. I think I smell potatoes. Yeah.
2840
02:02:55.420 --> 02:02:58.859
It's some sort of agricultural factory type.
2841
02:02:59.770 --> 02:03:03.479
Yeah. The situation on our left here. Yeah. Grapevine smells.
2842
02:03:03.680 --> 02:03:11.319
The point is, see, those people are all in survival mode.
2843
02:03:11.739 --> 02:03:15.109
Their job is to make enough money to buy shoes.
2844
02:03:15.930 --> 02:03:19.829
Their job is to stay alive, essentially. It's not to thrive.
2845
02:03:20.470 --> 02:03:25.840
It's to stay alive. great thing about this country if
2846
02:03:25.880 --> 02:03:29.399
you haven't been smuggled in as a sex worker the
2847
02:03:29.680 --> 02:03:37.000
good thing about living here is almost everyone who was
2848
02:03:37.079 --> 02:03:41.479
born here even if you're born to poverty you're born
2849
02:03:41.800 --> 02:03:46.380
in a place and in a time when you're in
2850
02:03:46.720 --> 02:03:52.020
thrive potential mode that doesn't mean it's going to happen
2851
02:03:53.069 --> 02:03:55.630
It doesn't mean it's destined to happen. It doesn't mean
2852
02:03:56.130 --> 02:04:01.439
you're special or God's chosen one. It just means because
2853
02:04:02.140 --> 02:04:05.039
it's the time it is and because it's the country
2854
02:04:05.079 --> 02:04:09.840
we're living in, we all have a chance to thrive. Now,
2855
02:04:10.640 --> 02:04:15.279
do some people like Dr. Drew's triplets have a little problem?
2856
02:04:15.989 --> 02:04:19.310
Easier shot at the brass ring than we do? Yes,
2857
02:04:19.770 --> 02:04:23.449
they do. But all of us have shoes, and none
2858
02:04:23.479 --> 02:04:27.140
of us were smuggled in to pick tobacco or have
2859
02:04:27.199 --> 02:04:31.399
sex with guys who own tobacco plantations. Actually, I was
2860
02:04:32.380 --> 02:04:34.699
one of those. I'm not going to say which one.
2861
02:04:34.720 --> 02:04:39.680
All right. Let me turn your seat heater on. Sure.
2862
02:04:39.720 --> 02:04:41.579
Let me throw out a scare, and I'm going to
2863
02:04:41.659 --> 02:04:43.770
shit myself if I leave it on too long, though.
2864
02:04:44.569 --> 02:04:48.670
Lisa, Lisa, give me a nice compliment, so we'll say
2865
02:04:48.810 --> 02:04:51.609
go to smartfitnessbylisa.com.
2866
02:04:52.010 --> 02:04:57.909
Yeah, why not? So, to finish my dream conversation, because
2867
02:04:57.930 --> 02:05:03.989
we only have another five hours on the road, you
2868
02:05:04.029 --> 02:05:07.529
can say, oh, well, my parents aren't wealthy, or I
2869
02:05:07.569 --> 02:05:11.600
didn't get the greatest education, or I... I couldn't avail
2870
02:05:11.680 --> 02:05:16.260
myself of many of the Ivy League institutions or higher
2871
02:05:16.319 --> 02:05:20.550
learning institutions that we have available in this country. That's fine,
2872
02:05:20.619 --> 02:05:23.850
but you're not shoeless and going down a mine shaft
2873
02:05:24.430 --> 02:05:28.210
in Africa. So just by virtue of the fact that
2874
02:05:28.229 --> 02:05:31.949
you're here and you're here now and you're in this country,
2875
02:05:32.729 --> 02:05:36.289
you can, and I know a lot of the folks
2876
02:05:36.729 --> 02:05:39.250
over at Occupy Wall Street are going to tell you,
2877
02:05:39.449 --> 02:05:42.149
you can't. But I'm here to tell you, you can. Now,
2878
02:05:42.750 --> 02:05:45.369
you may have to work a little harder. And you
2879
02:05:45.390 --> 02:05:47.869
may have to put in some overtime. And you may
2880
02:05:47.909 --> 02:05:51.689
have to work for free. And maybe you come from
2881
02:05:51.729 --> 02:05:57.020
a single-parent family. And maybe you're living in a one-bedroom
2882
02:05:57.079 --> 02:06:01.399
apartment and sharing a bunk with your sister and two brothers.
2883
02:06:01.420 --> 02:06:07.539
I understand all that. But there... That's what I'm trying
2884
02:06:07.579 --> 02:06:09.500
to say is this. And let's see what shitty 80s
2885
02:06:09.500 --> 02:06:19.020
song is playing. We're the Caterpillars. We're the Caterpillars. We
2886
02:06:19.060 --> 02:06:23.029
play shitty gay songs and then songs I don't know. Hey,
2887
02:06:23.550 --> 02:06:28.529
what I'm trying to say is this. The chasm between,
2888
02:06:29.989 --> 02:06:35.630
take me and Dr. Drew. I grew up, kind of
2889
02:06:35.689 --> 02:06:39.789
crappy apartments and crappy houses some welfare and some food
2890
02:06:39.829 --> 02:06:44.770
stamps and some parents that weren't particularly interested and you
2891
02:06:44.789 --> 02:06:49.340
know little warehousing at the LA Unified School District and
2892
02:06:49.899 --> 02:06:52.279
some carpet cleaning and some ditch digging you guys all
2893
02:06:52.300 --> 02:06:56.840
know the story and Dr. Drew grew up in a
2894
02:06:56.899 --> 02:06:59.939
nice home in Pasadena with a dad who was a
2895
02:06:59.970 --> 02:07:04.550
physician and was off to Amherst When he was 17,
2896
02:07:04.550 --> 02:07:08.550
by the way. I just learned this the other day. Now,
2897
02:07:09.470 --> 02:07:14.149
there's a chasm between Dr. Drew and myself in terms
2898
02:07:14.289 --> 02:07:17.590
of who's going to have success in this lifetime. I mean,
2899
02:07:18.510 --> 02:07:21.369
one guy starts off a little bit disadvantaged. That's me.
2900
02:07:21.869 --> 02:07:24.710
And the other guy grows up a little more advantaged.
2901
02:07:25.329 --> 02:07:30.279
He can get educated, can have higher paying jobs, so
2902
02:07:30.300 --> 02:07:34.529
on and so forth. But that chasm... between Dr. Drew
2903
02:07:34.550 --> 02:07:40.149
and myself, or even Dr. Drew and some guy who's,
2904
02:07:40.270 --> 02:07:45.539
you know, first, second generation, came from Mexico, you know,
2905
02:07:45.640 --> 02:07:49.560
dad's driving a forklift at night to keep the family fed.
2906
02:07:50.359 --> 02:07:55.310
That chasm is still much smaller than the chasm between
2907
02:07:56.270 --> 02:07:59.180
me and the guy whose dad drives a forklift and
2908
02:07:59.199 --> 02:08:01.439
the guy going down the mine shaft with no shoes
2909
02:08:01.640 --> 02:08:06.699
on in Africa. That chasm is mammoth. That space between
2910
02:08:06.739 --> 02:08:10.600
our two lifestyles is mammoth. So just by virtue of
2911
02:08:10.619 --> 02:08:12.949
the fact that you live here and it's 2011 means...
2912
02:08:14.930 --> 02:08:18.390
There's really no excuse not to do or at least
2913
02:08:18.409 --> 02:08:22.289
try to do almost anything you want in life. And
2914
02:08:22.310 --> 02:08:25.710
I wish more people were aware of that. And we
2915
02:08:25.810 --> 02:08:30.710
send a weird mixed message in this society, which is
2916
02:08:30.770 --> 02:08:33.640
if you turn on the commercials, it's all about, hey,
2917
02:08:33.680 --> 02:08:35.699
it's your world. You can do anything you want. We
2918
02:08:36.520 --> 02:08:40.000
feed kids this steady diet of you can be anything
2919
02:08:40.060 --> 02:08:42.060
you want. You can have anything you want. You can
2920
02:08:42.100 --> 02:08:45.560
do anything you want. But then you turn on the
2921
02:08:45.640 --> 02:08:51.649
news and they start telling you about how there's a
2922
02:08:51.750 --> 02:08:56.770
growing space between the people that have and the have-nots
2923
02:08:56.869 --> 02:09:02.159
and how without a college education you're 44% less likely
2924
02:09:02.220 --> 02:09:04.920
to make over $ 30, 000 a year and all that bullshit.
2925
02:09:05.460 --> 02:09:08.689
So there's a weird mixed message that we send. One
2926
02:09:08.729 --> 02:09:11.989
is a sort of bullshit fairy tale message that's dreamt
2927
02:09:12.069 --> 02:09:14.829
up by the sneaker companies. And the other is a
2928
02:09:15.010 --> 02:09:19.029
doom and gloom that's dreamt up by the news companies
2929
02:09:19.659 --> 02:09:23.500
to just get eyeballs. I would suggest that you throw
2930
02:09:23.619 --> 02:09:27.479
out the high and the low and just proceed and
2931
02:09:27.520 --> 02:09:31.850
realize we have a fairly level playing field. Not totally level,
2932
02:09:32.350 --> 02:09:35.399
but as level as most countries get. And you should
2933
02:09:35.420 --> 02:09:38.539
just go out and do what you want to do.
2934
02:09:39.100 --> 02:09:45.630
Or not. And quit bitching about it. Alright. Well, I
2935
02:09:45.649 --> 02:09:47.989
think Mike August is asleep in the back, so maybe
2936
02:09:48.050 --> 02:09:50.489
we should call his phone. I think that's a good idea.
2937
02:09:50.630 --> 02:09:53.010
Listen to what we've had to put up with for
2938
02:09:53.029 --> 02:10:02.050
this entire fucking trip. Mike Lynch is dialing Mike August
2939
02:10:02.130 --> 02:10:15.739
as we speak. Did you turn your phone off? Now
2940
02:10:15.819 --> 02:10:18.199
dig that thing out and let's let everyone hear just
2941
02:10:18.239 --> 02:10:24.890
how fucking loud that thing is. First off, reggae is
2942
02:10:24.930 --> 02:10:30.319
the worst ringtone ever, especially for you. And then secondly,
2943
02:10:30.699 --> 02:10:32.699
it is louder than shit. That thing must have been
2944
02:10:32.779 --> 02:10:35.140
buried between your ass cheeks. Oh, I guess put it
2945
02:10:35.199 --> 02:10:36.560
up here a little bit. I'm going to call it again.
2946
02:10:42.310 --> 02:10:45.710
So the phone is about 10 inches away from the.
2947
02:10:48.770 --> 02:10:54.539
Roof. That thing went off three times. All right, get
2948
02:10:54.659 --> 02:10:57.979
rid of it. Get rid of it. That thing went...
2949
02:10:59.710 --> 02:11:02.529
What is that? No, that's the phone. That thing went
2950
02:11:02.630 --> 02:11:07.050
off three times. We ate in a Hungarian restaurant tonight
2951
02:11:07.149 --> 02:11:10.079
that was the size of my fist. And that thing
2952
02:11:10.119 --> 02:11:14.500
went off three fucking times and annoyed everybody who was
2953
02:11:14.579 --> 02:11:17.560
trying to devour their schnitzel. And I said, Mike, can
2954
02:11:17.579 --> 02:11:21.619
you turn that shit down? And Mike said, no, I
2955
02:11:21.659 --> 02:11:25.029
don't know how. And I said, can you change that
2956
02:11:25.109 --> 02:11:29.899
horrible fucking ringtone And he said, no, I don't know how.
2957
02:11:30.100 --> 02:11:33.659
That I do know how. It's the best ringtone. You
2958
02:11:33.699 --> 02:11:38.340
can't turn it down. And then... The guy at the
2959
02:11:38.359 --> 02:11:41.850
store couldn't turn it down. Yeah, but it was a
2960
02:11:41.899 --> 02:11:49.189
bait and tackle shot. Now listen. Mike then pointed out
2961
02:11:49.250 --> 02:11:53.909
to me that your hold music is Vivaldi and it's deafening.
2962
02:11:54.890 --> 02:11:58.250
So you get it on both ends with you. And
2963
02:11:58.329 --> 02:12:04.899
Mike Lynch, if you put your phone on speaker, and
2964
02:12:05.180 --> 02:12:07.720
I have to take my earpiece out when I call.
2965
02:12:08.300 --> 02:12:11.380
Every time you call Mike, Mike's phone, he does not
2966
02:12:11.479 --> 02:12:14.619
pick up. There's no pickup. You get put on hold,
2967
02:12:14.649 --> 02:12:18.569
and you hear the loudest, most annoying classical music on
2968
02:12:18.609 --> 02:12:28.260
the planet. Oh, we got this mashup going. It is
2969
02:12:28.460 --> 02:12:34.380
quite a contrast in headaches you're creating. All right. All right,
2970
02:12:34.439 --> 02:12:41.289
that's enough. And then it makes that noise. Jesus effing Christ.
2971
02:12:42.369 --> 02:12:45.350
All right, let's take a quick break. Oh, well, you
2972
02:12:45.369 --> 02:12:52.210
know what? Let me give a little love to us, Amazon.
2973
02:12:52.609 --> 02:12:56.279
This Porsche Panamera... It doesn't run on good vibes, people.
2974
02:12:56.720 --> 02:13:00.039
We've got to put gas in the tank. And this
2975
02:13:00.079 --> 02:13:05.850
thing doesn't exactly sip it. Uh-oh. Radar detector. Radar detector.
2976
02:13:06.350 --> 02:13:12.409
The point is that the radar detector ain't free either. We... Uh-oh, uh-oh.
2977
02:13:12.550 --> 02:13:18.750
Going off. Uh-oh. Going off. Going off. Expand. All right, we...
2978
02:13:18.770 --> 02:13:19.979
If we get pulled over, this is going to be
2979
02:13:19.989 --> 02:13:21.939
the best podcast that ever happened. Ah, we're just going
2980
02:13:21.960 --> 02:13:24.760
to leave that recorder running. All right, the speed limit.
2981
02:13:24.779 --> 02:13:25.880
What I'm going to need you to do for me
2982
02:13:25.960 --> 02:13:28.399
right now is turn off the recorder for me right now, okay?
2983
02:13:28.539 --> 02:13:30.800
The digital recorder that's on your lap right now, okay?
2984
02:13:30.819 --> 02:13:34.359
Right now? All right, the speed limit says 70 here.
2985
02:13:36.539 --> 02:13:43.859
I'm setting the cruise control... for 70... I think I'm 75, right?
2986
02:13:44.220 --> 02:13:49.260
I'm going to set it for 75. This is the
2987
02:13:49.340 --> 02:13:53.460
stretch of the grapevine where they fucking hit you with
2988
02:13:53.479 --> 02:13:57.750
the radar when they're coming at you. So you're going south,
2989
02:13:57.850 --> 02:14:01.529
they're going north. They hit you... Used to be they
2990
02:14:01.569 --> 02:14:03.829
just come up behind you. Now they hit you coming
2991
02:14:04.229 --> 02:14:08.930
at you and then they whip around... And what I
2992
02:14:08.949 --> 02:14:12.189
would perceive as a very dangerous maneuver. And then they
2993
02:14:12.210 --> 02:14:15.329
spread a bunch of gravel out onto the blacktop as
2994
02:14:15.369 --> 02:14:18.010
they peel out and fishtail and come up your ass.
2995
02:14:18.750 --> 02:14:21.130
And ironically, as I always say, explain to you how
2996
02:14:21.149 --> 02:14:24.069
dangerous it is going nine miles an hour with a
2997
02:14:24.189 --> 02:14:30.600
fucking speed limit. It is almost midnight. I'm staring at
2998
02:14:30.640 --> 02:14:35.439
an endless straightaway. And I'm driving an Autobahn burner that
2999
02:14:35.520 --> 02:14:45.000
is going at about half the capacity it was designed for. Ah, Amazon. Yes. Yes,
3000
02:14:45.100 --> 02:14:48.140
the love that you send us through Amazon is so wonderful.
3001
02:14:48.180 --> 02:14:51.079
Whether you're doing Christmas shopping or any kind of shopping,
3002
02:14:51.119 --> 02:14:55.680
if you're going through Amazon... Please go to AdamCarolla.com first
3003
02:14:55.720 --> 02:14:58.880
and click on the Amazon banner. And as I've said
3004
02:14:58.939 --> 02:15:03.399
many times, the very definition of win-win. Hand to God, win-win.
3005
02:15:03.579 --> 02:15:08.239
Hand to God, it is win-win. Thank you. Also, as
3006
02:15:08.300 --> 02:15:11.130
long as we're talking money, how about one of our
3007
02:15:11.189 --> 02:15:14.270
fine sponsors? How about Mangrain? God, I love these guys.
3008
02:15:14.810 --> 02:15:16.979
There is not a human being that I've handed a
3009
02:15:17.020 --> 02:15:20.539
man grade to that doesn't go, oh, shit. I mean,
3010
02:15:20.720 --> 02:15:24.960
it will pull an elbow out of its socket. It
3011
02:15:25.020 --> 02:15:29.630
is a wonderful piece of American ingenuity. So simple, yet
3012
02:15:29.770 --> 02:15:32.810
so advanced. 100% made in America. 100% cast iron. Made
3013
02:15:32.829 --> 02:15:39.609
by a guy who... Used to make field computers and
3014
02:15:39.630 --> 02:15:43.449
wanted to branch out. Used as an American foundry. This
3015
02:15:43.560 --> 02:15:47.800
is money going right back to the system. Not going
3016
02:15:47.960 --> 02:15:51.600
out to China. It is staying here. Not going down
3017
02:15:51.659 --> 02:15:54.720
a hole in Africa. Staying right here in the good
3018
02:15:54.739 --> 02:15:58.100
old US of A. Go to AdamCarolla.com and click on
3019
02:15:58.140 --> 02:16:00.279
the Man Great banner and you get a free grill
3020
02:16:00.319 --> 02:16:04.720
and brush with our logo in it. 1999. Pound for pound.
3021
02:16:05.000 --> 02:16:09.000
Best deal on the internet. It's the gift that keeps
3022
02:16:09.079 --> 02:16:16.079
on grilling. Yeah. High five. Yeah. All right, quick break. Wait,
3023
02:16:16.119 --> 02:16:30.590
let's hear what 80 stations. Is this Taco or Men
3024
02:16:30.630 --> 02:16:40.000
Without Hats? Why the weird gay syntho? Hi. That song's
3025
02:16:40.020 --> 02:16:41.639
gonna send off the gaydar detector.
3026
02:16:42.260 --> 02:16:42.899
Whoa!
3027
02:16:43.299 --> 02:16:47.430
Mike August, everybody. Go to the 80s Channel and see
3028
02:16:47.469 --> 02:16:49.489
what piece of shit is playing on the 80s Channel,
3029
02:16:49.610 --> 02:17:08.940
so we speak. Walk this way? Yeah. Is it the
3030
02:17:08.959 --> 02:17:13.940
Run DMC version, though? Yeah. All right. So we've got
3031
02:17:14.000 --> 02:17:19.129
that to look forward to for another 321 miles. Quick break.
3032
02:17:19.590 --> 02:17:24.350
Be back for our podcast road show after this. Back
3033
02:17:24.729 --> 02:17:30.370
on our podcast road trip show. Heading back from Sacramento. Again,
3034
02:17:30.469 --> 02:17:32.950
I'll set the table. It is 11.50 in the p.m.,
3035
02:17:36.370 --> 02:17:40.299
We left Sacramento about an hour ago. For those of
3036
02:17:40.319 --> 02:17:45.620
you who don't know, Sacramento is about 385 miles out
3037
02:17:45.659 --> 02:17:49.229
of L.A. So we will be driving through the entire night.
3038
02:17:50.379 --> 02:17:54.649
We just played a sold-out show in Sacramento, and before that, Fresno.
3039
02:17:55.510 --> 02:17:59.950
We're driving the Porsche Panamera with the radar detector up front.
3040
02:18:00.760 --> 02:18:04.319
Mike August is napping in the back. Mike Lynch is
3041
02:18:04.479 --> 02:18:07.760
reading your email questions. And the next one is.
3042
02:18:08.079 --> 02:18:12.379
From James Austin, and it's actually a three-part question. Saving
3043
02:18:12.420 --> 02:18:16.120
us some paper, giving us three questions. First one, have
3044
02:18:16.139 --> 02:18:19.719
you ever taken any flying lessons, worked on your private
3045
02:18:19.840 --> 02:18:22.600
pilot's license, or thought about getting your own airplane?
3046
02:18:23.819 --> 02:18:27.180
All good questions. People brought this up many times. All
3047
02:18:27.260 --> 02:18:31.579
I've done in my life was fly model airplanes, remote
3048
02:18:31.620 --> 02:18:35.639
control airplanes, and I've crashed every single one of them,
3049
02:18:36.299 --> 02:18:41.690
including a turbine-powered jet. I don't mean a ducted fan.
3050
02:18:41.989 --> 02:18:46.149
I mean an actual jet. The miniature jet that spools
3051
02:18:46.270 --> 02:18:52.670
up to 100,000 RPMs is made in what country, anybody? Germany. Germany.
3052
02:18:53.909 --> 02:18:56.549
It is, uh, a jet that was worked on for
3053
02:18:56.590 --> 02:19:01.069
two years. It cost me about $ 10, 000 and on its
3054
02:19:01.170 --> 02:19:06.100
maiden voyage, it crashed and burned. Um, I've always taken
3055
02:19:06.139 --> 02:19:11.020
this as a bit of a message and, uh, always thought,
3056
02:19:11.059 --> 02:19:15.879
you know what? I'll get my kicks driving my vintage
3057
02:19:15.959 --> 02:19:20.010
Datsuns on the racetrack and doing my vintage racing. And
3058
02:19:20.090 --> 02:19:23.250
I'll let you guys get your kicks doing your piloting. Um,
3059
02:19:24.379 --> 02:19:27.479
Dexter from The Offspring does hit me up every year
3060
02:19:27.959 --> 02:19:30.000
to go to the Nevada, or I should say the
3061
02:19:30.059 --> 02:19:35.299
Reno air show. He flies. He has a... like a,
3062
02:19:35.290 --> 02:19:38.809
I don't think it's a, it's either a Soviet jet,
3063
02:19:39.530 --> 02:19:43.950
or either, it's not Soviet, some Eastern Bloc country jet
3064
02:19:43.989 --> 02:19:47.940
that got retrofitted with like a GE engine on it,
3065
02:19:48.850 --> 02:19:51.000
and some guy flies it for him, I think, at
3066
02:19:51.030 --> 02:19:55.159
the Reno Air Show, which is the hairiest, craziest sport
3067
02:19:55.260 --> 02:19:58.139
on the planet. He also has just a couple of
3068
02:19:58.219 --> 02:20:03.040
private jets, and I suppose one of these days I'll
3069
02:20:03.079 --> 02:20:06.069
take him up on his offer, and at some point
3070
02:20:06.149 --> 02:20:08.229
he'll turn the yoke over to me when we get
3071
02:20:08.250 --> 02:20:11.909
to a safe enough altitude, and I will actually say
3072
02:20:11.950 --> 02:20:17.790
I've flown a jet. That I look forward to. You know,
3073
02:20:17.829 --> 02:20:19.750
it is one of those things that I should do,
3074
02:20:20.329 --> 02:20:22.819
and I think is really cool, and I respect everyone
3075
02:20:22.850 --> 02:20:27.440
who does it, but... At a certain point, you just
3076
02:20:27.479 --> 02:20:29.620
have to kind of pick your poison, and for me,
3077
02:20:29.639 --> 02:20:31.920
I think it's going to be the vintage race cars
3078
02:20:31.940 --> 02:20:35.889
for now. You just mentioned Reno. Quick reminder, by the
3079
02:20:35.920 --> 02:20:38.360
time this airs, we'll be very close to our... New
3080
02:20:38.399 --> 02:20:41.700
Year's Eve and New Year's Day show at the Nugget. Oh, yeah.
3081
02:20:41.729 --> 02:20:44.590
In Reno slash Sparks. Don't mix them up. They will
3082
02:20:44.610 --> 02:20:49.290
get mad at you. Yes. Yeah, I think we're in Sparks, Nevada. Sparks, Nevada.
3083
02:20:49.610 --> 02:20:54.750
John Esquaga's Nugget. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like he had
3084
02:20:54.870 --> 02:20:58.020
one of his testicles removed, doesn't it? And opened a
3085
02:20:58.079 --> 02:21:03.780
casino in it. So the second question from our same
3086
02:21:03.959 --> 02:21:08.129
friend here. Let me get over. You used to ride
3087
02:21:08.209 --> 02:21:09.510
a motorcycle year-round.
3088
02:21:09.530 --> 02:21:14.049
Have you ever gone to and ridden on a track day,
3089
02:21:14.809 --> 02:21:17.549
not race, just track day on a sport bike?
3090
02:21:18.829 --> 02:21:22.829
No, back when I had bikes, I had no money
3091
02:21:22.930 --> 02:21:27.969
for track days or anything of the sort. So later on,
3092
02:21:28.629 --> 02:21:30.510
when I made some money, I just ended up getting
3093
02:21:30.530 --> 02:21:35.340
the old vintage race cars. But I would, I loved
3094
02:21:35.440 --> 02:21:39.680
riding bikes. I was a pretty good rider. Not, you know,
3095
02:21:39.739 --> 02:21:42.920
wouldn't be dragging my knee up through Mulholland, but I
3096
02:21:42.979 --> 02:21:49.100
rode pretty well. And I have some friends, such as
3097
02:21:49.620 --> 02:21:55.229
David Allen Greer, Dax Shepard, and what the hell did
3098
02:21:55.250 --> 02:21:57.790
we just have on? Alonzo Bowden. Oh, Alonzo Bowden, yeah.
3099
02:21:58.209 --> 02:22:01.729
Dax and Alonzo and Dag, who always tries to drag
3100
02:22:01.770 --> 02:22:06.520
me out to the MotoGP. out here at Laguna Seca.
3101
02:22:07.139 --> 02:22:11.000
We're probably passing it as we speak. They always try
3102
02:22:11.020 --> 02:22:14.420
to drag me out. And Dag does do those track
3103
02:22:14.459 --> 02:22:17.489
days in Alonzo. Well, Alonzo can show you the pins
3104
02:22:17.569 --> 02:22:22.200
in his wrist. to prove he's done those track days
3105
02:22:23.760 --> 02:22:26.280
I'd love to go to one of those riding schools
3106
02:22:26.399 --> 02:22:28.750
and just do just do a track day just where
3107
02:22:28.770 --> 02:22:30.389
they put you on the bike and they have the
3108
02:22:30.409 --> 02:22:33.190
instructor and they show you how to drag your knee
3109
02:22:33.250 --> 02:22:35.889
and all you get the full leathers and everything and
3110
02:22:36.389 --> 02:22:38.889
yeah I would dig on doing that and I will
3111
02:22:38.909 --> 02:22:41.639
do that one of these one of these days soon
3112
02:22:41.690 --> 02:22:43.719
and if there's anyone listening that has one of those
3113
02:22:43.739 --> 02:22:46.540
schools feel free to hit us up and give me
3114
02:22:46.559 --> 02:22:51.280
a free lesson hmm Now, you have preternatural balance. You
3115
02:22:51.299 --> 02:22:52.559
have amazing balance.
3116
02:22:53.379 --> 02:22:55.819
I fear ever getting on a motorcycle because I just
3117
02:22:55.940 --> 02:22:58.290
know that that will just be the end of me.
3118
02:22:58.770 --> 02:23:01.350
Is it really as hairy as it seems from a
3119
02:23:01.389 --> 02:23:06.489
balance perspective? No, the bikes are sort of gyroscopic, and
3120
02:23:06.530 --> 02:23:09.379
they sort of hold themselves up once you get up
3121
02:23:09.420 --> 02:23:15.329
to speed. And as I've told, as I've bragged many
3122
02:23:15.409 --> 02:23:20.270
times before, but I will use no hyperbole, I rode
3123
02:23:20.329 --> 02:23:24.959
my Honda 404 from the top of Mulholland all the
3124
02:23:24.979 --> 02:23:28.840
way down Coldwater, which is very winding, very steep, all
3125
02:23:28.860 --> 02:23:31.520
the way down the valley side and all the way
3126
02:23:31.540 --> 02:23:36.500
across Ventura Boulevard and across Moorpark, the next boulevard, all
3127
02:23:36.760 --> 02:23:41.299
without ever touching the handlebars one time. I put the
3128
02:23:41.360 --> 02:23:46.340
bike in neutral, I used the foot brake, and I
3129
02:23:46.360 --> 02:23:49.200
put both hands on the tank, and I simply worked
3130
02:23:49.219 --> 02:23:52.520
the foot brake and leaned, and it was like a gyroscope.
3131
02:23:53.040 --> 02:24:00.030
That bike handles very nicely, so it was easy to do. But, um, no, they, they...
3132
02:24:00.790 --> 02:24:03.850
You feel a lot more comfortable on a bike than
3133
02:24:03.899 --> 02:24:07.799
you think you'd feel. It's a lot like the unicycle.
3134
02:24:07.840 --> 02:24:09.979
When you see someone ride it, you go, oh my,
3135
02:24:10.739 --> 02:24:14.120
that looks impossible. Once you get on the bike, you
3136
02:24:14.159 --> 02:24:18.139
do feel very good. But you go from feeling really
3137
02:24:18.200 --> 02:24:22.500
good to feeling really shitty really fast on a bike
3138
02:24:23.040 --> 02:24:28.719
if you fuck up. Listen. Listen. When I had bikes,
3139
02:24:28.739 --> 02:24:31.950
I had a couple Ninja 600s and some 404s and stuff.
3140
02:24:32.350 --> 02:24:34.829
I had little regard for my own safety. I was
3141
02:24:34.889 --> 02:24:37.649
in my 20s. I was in a rush. I rode
3142
02:24:37.709 --> 02:24:40.489
like an asshole. And I rode like I was invincible.
3143
02:24:41.069 --> 02:24:45.120
And thank God I never got into any serious trouble.
3144
02:24:45.180 --> 02:24:48.819
But I pushed pretty hard on that bike. And I never...
3145
02:24:49.430 --> 02:24:52.149
never had a problem, but I was, you know, I
3146
02:24:52.209 --> 02:24:56.319
have my hypervigilance disorder and it probably steered me clear
3147
02:24:56.360 --> 02:24:59.639
of a couple of scrapes. All right.
3148
02:24:59.680 --> 02:25:02.600
Our last question from James Austin and his hat trick
3149
02:25:02.620 --> 02:25:05.719
of questions. Do you ever shoot guns for fun?
3150
02:25:07.020 --> 02:25:10.649
Um, I have a lot of guns now because my
3151
02:25:10.729 --> 02:25:14.670
wife has a lot of guns. Long story. Her dad
3152
02:25:14.729 --> 02:25:16.950
has a lot of guns and gave me a lot
3153
02:25:16.989 --> 02:25:23.180
of guns. Um, I grew up to be turned off
3154
02:25:23.219 --> 02:25:25.440
to guns. I grew up in a sort of hippie,
3155
02:25:25.639 --> 02:25:30.219
non-violent family that always blamed guns for all the woes
3156
02:25:30.299 --> 02:25:33.440
in the world. And I never really was a big
3157
02:25:33.579 --> 02:25:38.340
gun fan. One of the funner things I did was
3158
02:25:38.559 --> 02:25:42.040
go to the Hawthorne SWAT team when I was doing
3159
02:25:42.079 --> 02:25:44.860
a man show bit and fire every gun they had
3160
02:25:44.889 --> 02:25:51.360
in their arsenal. And I was firing fully... fully automatic
3161
02:25:51.440 --> 02:25:56.219
machine guns and shotguns one shotgun which just had a
3162
02:25:56.780 --> 02:26:00.170
huge slug round in it just like a huge marble
3163
02:26:00.989 --> 02:26:04.270
shoot it through engine blocks and stuff huge kickback like
3164
02:26:04.290 --> 02:26:10.530
a musket anyway shotguns pistols magnums everything they had in
3165
02:26:10.549 --> 02:26:13.989
their arsenal and I dug it but the thing that's
3166
02:26:14.069 --> 02:26:17.979
weird and I always say this is it feels exactly
3167
02:26:18.040 --> 02:26:22.079
how you think it would feel like When you take
3168
02:26:22.139 --> 02:26:26.459
that machine gun and you put it on full automatic
3169
02:26:26.680 --> 02:26:29.399
and you squeeze off a couple of rounds, it feels
3170
02:26:29.600 --> 02:26:32.979
exactly how you would think a machine gun would feel.
3171
02:26:34.600 --> 02:26:39.420
Had fun and think it's a good idea to be
3172
02:26:39.469 --> 02:26:43.170
able to handle a gun and know how to handle
3173
02:26:43.190 --> 02:26:48.569
it for safety and also responsibility. But just sort of
3174
02:26:48.670 --> 02:26:56.469
weirdly never got off on it. I mean, to me,
3175
02:26:56.510 --> 02:27:00.569
doing something like the vintage car racing just flips my cookie,
3176
02:27:00.610 --> 02:27:04.010
just total adrenaline rush, just dig every second of it.
3177
02:27:04.579 --> 02:27:06.850
And for some reason, firing the guns is never... I
3178
02:27:07.620 --> 02:27:10.309
guess it's supposed to... And I don't want to offend
3179
02:27:10.329 --> 02:27:12.569
the gun owners, but there's a party that's supposed to
3180
02:27:12.590 --> 02:27:14.950
make you feel like a big man. Like, yeah, don't
3181
02:27:15.030 --> 02:27:18.149
fuck with me. Yeah, there's a new sheriff in town. Yeah,
3182
02:27:18.209 --> 02:27:20.190
and there's a skill part where you have to shoot
3183
02:27:20.270 --> 02:27:23.899
targets and stuff. And I'm a pretty good aim and
3184
02:27:24.540 --> 02:27:29.079
had fun. But I don't know why. It's never... It's never...
3185
02:27:29.620 --> 02:27:32.670
It's just never got me off. I'm just... And I
3186
02:27:32.729 --> 02:27:35.930
like the mechanics of the gun. I like holding one
3187
02:27:35.969 --> 02:27:37.989
in my hand. I like the way it looks. I
3188
02:27:38.010 --> 02:27:41.059
like the way it feels. I appreciate it. the craftsmanship
3189
02:27:41.139 --> 02:27:45.829
in it. I have a lot of vintage... pistols and
3190
02:27:45.889 --> 02:27:48.290
again they're not mine they're given to me by my
3191
02:27:48.350 --> 02:27:53.309
father-in-law but you just feel the artistry and the craftsmanship
3192
02:27:53.350 --> 02:27:57.959
just that knurled handle and just the way the metallurgy
3193
02:27:58.059 --> 02:28:01.399
and the metalsmiths and the way they've made these guns
3194
02:28:01.440 --> 02:28:03.639
are from some of them are from the 20s and
3195
02:28:03.680 --> 02:28:06.780
30s and they're just brand new they're just nickel plated
3196
02:28:06.799 --> 02:28:09.940
just the weight and the balance in your hand they
3197
02:28:10.000 --> 02:28:14.420
feel awesome but I guess for me, as a guy
3198
02:28:14.680 --> 02:28:18.879
who's not a fan of power, which I know sounds weird,
3199
02:28:19.719 --> 02:28:22.440
I don't like having that power. I don't like knowing
3200
02:28:22.479 --> 02:28:26.879
that I could hurt somebody or kill somebody or, you know,
3201
02:28:27.829 --> 02:28:30.770
shoot that watermelon, which is one of the things I think...
3202
02:28:32.170 --> 02:28:34.739
I believe when I was at the Hawthorne SWAT team,
3203
02:28:34.920 --> 02:28:38.000
I took that shotgun, put the slug round in it,
3204
02:28:38.040 --> 02:28:42.100
the big marble in it, and shot a huge honeydew melon,
3205
02:28:42.340 --> 02:28:44.979
and it just evaporated the thing.
3206
02:28:45.540 --> 02:28:49.250
Yeah, I've done, I was raised the same way without guns,
3207
02:28:49.350 --> 02:28:51.270
and it was not something that was.
3208
02:28:51.969 --> 02:28:56.590
You know, Massachusetts, suburban, you know, there was no guns happening.
3209
02:28:57.670 --> 02:29:01.159
Didn't your dad once attempt to make a gun out
3210
02:29:01.190 --> 02:29:04.239
of a cigar tube in a miniature cereal box? Yeah.
3211
02:29:04.639 --> 02:29:07.799
He talked to my Uncle Ray at the DWP. He
3212
02:29:07.819 --> 02:29:11.739
got some old signage from an old bridge. Right. And
3213
02:29:12.139 --> 02:29:15.420
he started pounding away at it with a mallet. It
3214
02:29:15.469 --> 02:29:21.610
really was like your dad was in prison. Yeah. There
3215
02:29:21.649 --> 02:29:22.969
were ingenious moments.
3216
02:29:23.030 --> 02:29:27.850
I mean, there were a lot of homemade costumes and
3217
02:29:27.950 --> 02:29:31.790
toys and things like that. And he was pretty handy
3218
02:29:32.329 --> 02:29:37.379
with that stuff. But I have a similar... Father-in-law has
3219
02:29:37.430 --> 02:29:41.780
introduced me to the gun world. He's hunting as you
3220
02:29:41.819 --> 02:29:45.459
listen to this right now. Because it is deer season
3221
02:29:45.479 --> 02:29:48.559
in Mississippi. And he is nuts about them. And when
3222
02:29:48.600 --> 02:29:51.579
I've gone to visit, it has been really fun, more
3223
02:29:51.639 --> 02:29:53.959
fun than I ever thought it would be to just
3224
02:29:54.079 --> 02:29:56.540
fire at targets or at coffee cans or whatever.
3225
02:29:56.559 --> 02:29:58.540
But it wasn't that kind.
3226
02:29:58.379 --> 02:30:00.219
Of like, oh, I'm going to go kill someone because
3227
02:30:00.319 --> 02:30:02.739
I can. You know, I think that there's a lot
3228
02:30:02.760 --> 02:30:05.260
of mythology about, like, if you give people guns, they'll.
3229
02:30:05.159 --> 02:30:10.180
Use them, and no. No. You know, I grew up
3230
02:30:10.200 --> 02:30:16.120
around that, you know, guns don't kill, I mean, guns
3231
02:30:16.180 --> 02:30:21.290
do kill people, and it is the people that shoot them, like,
3232
02:30:21.309 --> 02:30:24.729
I was very anti-gun my whole life, I'm still sort
3233
02:30:24.770 --> 02:30:28.469
of anti-gun, but if you think about how many guns,
3234
02:30:28.750 --> 02:30:31.139
and I think there's more guns than there are people
3235
02:30:31.200 --> 02:30:35.700
in the United States, surprisingly few of us get shot
3236
02:30:35.940 --> 02:30:39.100
on a daily basis, says a little something, and then
3237
02:30:39.790 --> 02:30:42.969
As Michael Moore pointed out when he did our podcast,
3238
02:30:43.270 --> 02:30:47.049
was it Sweden or Switzerland? I can't remember which place
3239
02:30:47.069 --> 02:30:52.680
where they actually give assault rifles to every male because
3240
02:30:52.860 --> 02:30:58.959
they don't have an army. And it must be Switzerland.
3241
02:30:59.719 --> 02:31:03.750
But it's one or the other or both. I can't remember, but...
3242
02:31:04.829 --> 02:31:06.920
And it's sad that I don't really know the difference
3243
02:31:06.940 --> 02:31:10.360
between Switzerland and Sweden. But then again, I didn't know
3244
02:31:10.399 --> 02:31:15.000
the difference between Chinese culture and Japanese culture until about
3245
02:31:15.059 --> 02:31:20.600
eight years ago. But they give every... Every, like, mail
3246
02:31:20.719 --> 02:31:24.780
is issued an assault rifle. And they have the lowest
3247
02:31:24.840 --> 02:31:31.079
incidence of shooting gun-related fatalities in any place in the
3248
02:31:31.149 --> 02:31:34.469
modern world. Yeah, but they're all white. Edit that out, Dawson.
3249
02:31:34.510 --> 02:31:38.479
I was just thinking it. I wasn't saying it. Point, yeah.
3250
02:31:38.680 --> 02:31:40.520
I love when people, I love when those things are,
3251
02:31:40.579 --> 02:31:43.500
everyone's like, why is that? And everyone's thinking the exact
3252
02:31:43.520 --> 02:31:49.239
same thing because they're not in Nicaragua. But, Jesus Christ,
3253
02:31:49.260 --> 02:31:53.750
imagine that policy in, like, fucking Colombia. Hey, everyone gets
3254
02:31:53.809 --> 02:31:57.110
an assault rifle. They would all go out and celebrate
3255
02:31:57.149 --> 02:31:59.450
by shooting them into the air and then shooting each other.
3256
02:32:01.069 --> 02:32:03.270
If they weren't having one of those festivals of fire
3257
02:32:03.309 --> 02:32:05.170
where they light shit and throw it at each other.
3258
02:32:06.809 --> 02:32:09.489
There are always those weird fest, like, we don't have
3259
02:32:09.530 --> 02:32:11.909
those festivals here in the United States where it's like,
3260
02:32:12.530 --> 02:32:14.190
just one day we're all just going to throw tomatoes
3261
02:32:14.209 --> 02:32:14.709
at each other.
3262
02:32:14.729 --> 02:32:17.510
Yeah. Or just like, oh, it's the day where we
3263
02:32:17.530 --> 02:32:20.030
all throw paint at each other. Like, we don't have that.
3264
02:32:20.549 --> 02:32:23.399
Shots on the high beams. Um, you know what it is?
3265
02:32:25.579 --> 02:32:31.209
I think it's two things. Um, A, we're not really
3266
02:32:31.450 --> 02:32:36.190
old enough for that shit. You need old. And B, now,
3267
02:32:36.389 --> 02:32:38.889
you know, we got cable. We are not going to
3268
02:32:38.909 --> 02:32:42.090
be bothered by throwing Roma tomatoes at people or lighting
3269
02:32:42.159 --> 02:32:44.600
malt off cocktails and kicking them at other people in
3270
02:32:44.659 --> 02:32:50.760
the street. We're too litigious and we're too worried about
3271
02:32:50.879 --> 02:32:51.639
basic cable.
3272
02:32:52.180 --> 02:32:53.659
I came up with a great plan today. I was
3273
02:32:53.700 --> 02:32:56.829
looking at the flat screen in our hotel room. And
3274
02:32:56.850 --> 02:32:59.229
I was noticing every hotel that we've gone to on
3275
02:32:59.250 --> 02:33:02.930
these road trips, it's all flat screens now. And it
3276
02:33:02.969 --> 02:33:04.870
couldn't have been more than two, three years ago that
3277
02:33:04.909 --> 02:33:08.379
those would have been the big full-size TVs. Where are
3278
02:33:08.420 --> 02:33:11.239
all those TVs going? And shouldn't we come up with a.
3279
02:33:11.219 --> 02:33:15.219
Charity where we take those deep dish TVs and send
3280
02:33:15.260 --> 02:33:17.000
them over to other countries so that they can get
3281
02:33:17.040 --> 02:33:21.020
cable and stop having the problems that they have? I don't...
3282
02:33:21.520 --> 02:33:25.680
I agree. I keep thinking that, too. Like, it was really...
3283
02:33:25.479 --> 02:33:30.229
It's really only been two years. Like, four years ago,
3284
02:33:30.909 --> 02:33:34.989
that was the way you could tell a decent hotel
3285
02:33:35.069 --> 02:33:39.909
from a shit hotel. The shit hotels had the big tubes.
3286
02:33:41.190 --> 02:33:44.030
It was... It's funny because I was actually... I was
3287
02:33:44.069 --> 02:33:50.340
talking to Arsenio Hall the other day, and I said, Arsenio,
3288
02:33:50.360 --> 02:33:55.069
have you ever been... On a flat television? I said,
3289
02:33:55.090 --> 02:33:58.629
because every TV you've been on has been thicker than
3290
02:33:58.709 --> 02:34:01.729
it is wide, right? Have you ever been on a
3291
02:34:01.819 --> 02:34:05.540
thin TV? You had to be there, but it was
3292
02:34:05.579 --> 02:34:11.420
pretty fun. So a few years ago, that's like if
3293
02:34:11.459 --> 02:34:13.340
you went to a hotel and they had that flat,
3294
02:34:13.379 --> 02:34:16.639
you know, that thin... You can't just say flat screen.
3295
02:34:16.659 --> 02:34:19.540
You have to say, you know, thin screen or whatever.
3296
02:34:19.559 --> 02:34:23.610
But anyway... Uh, now they all got retrofitted. Like, they
3297
02:34:23.629 --> 02:34:26.450
got cheap as shit, and even the cheapest pieces of
3298
02:34:26.639 --> 02:34:29.420
shit Mike puts us up in, and believe us, believe me,
3299
02:34:30.059 --> 02:34:32.659
Mike puts us up in cheap pieces of shit. They
3300
02:34:32.719 --> 02:34:37.600
still have the flat panel television. Um, and yes, those
3301
02:34:37.620 --> 02:34:40.520
things all must have been scooped up and moved somewhere,
3302
02:34:40.579 --> 02:34:44.579
but I think they're all on a beach in India. Mm-hmm.
3303
02:34:45.829 --> 02:34:49.469
I get the feeling if you remember back in the day,
3304
02:34:49.969 --> 02:34:51.940
especially if there were a decent size or like a
3305
02:34:51.920 --> 02:34:57.139
24 incher or a 32 incher, it would cost way
3306
02:34:57.180 --> 02:35:00.559
more to ship one of those things to, you know,
3307
02:35:01.040 --> 02:35:04.920
Africa than it would cost to buy a new flat,
3308
02:35:05.020 --> 02:35:06.680
you know, for Bill Gates to buy them a new
3309
02:35:06.760 --> 02:35:10.379
flat screen. I mean, those things were fucking bricks. You
3310
02:35:10.399 --> 02:35:14.129
remember how heavy those were? Yeah. Um, I missed the
3311
02:35:14.170 --> 02:35:17.110
whole thing where they had, like, the pivoting apparatus. Yep.
3312
02:35:17.690 --> 02:35:19.809
That's got to be a shitty company. Like, if you're
3313
02:35:20.149 --> 02:35:23.879
the guys who made the pivoting apparatus or the guys
3314
02:35:23.920 --> 02:35:26.639
that made the... Remember the bars that had those things
3315
02:35:26.719 --> 02:35:28.559
up in the corners? And you made one of those
3316
02:35:28.639 --> 02:35:31.899
steel hooks that broke it from the wall that had
3317
02:35:31.920 --> 02:35:34.440
the strap over the top of it for the earthquake?
3318
02:35:36.329 --> 02:35:40.770
All right. Sorry. Let's go to another question. This one. Oh, sure.
3319
02:35:40.790 --> 02:35:54.680
First wave. Oh, all right. Smiths, finally. All right. So
3320
02:35:54.700 --> 02:35:58.200
this is from Chris, Chris Ottinger. All right.
3321
02:35:58.959 --> 02:36:02.459
Hey, Ace Man, with your busy schedule, the twins, et cetera,
3322
02:36:02.959 --> 02:36:05.040
how do you and the missus find time to keep
3323
02:36:05.079 --> 02:36:05.860
the flame alive?
3324
02:36:06.260 --> 02:36:07.250
My wife and work.
3325
02:36:08.110 --> 02:36:11.090
My wife and work got two young kids I'm lucky
3326
02:36:11.229 --> 02:36:13.190
if we can get it on four times a month
3327
02:36:13.450 --> 02:36:14.250
any tips.
3328
02:36:16.510 --> 02:36:24.170
Oh man you know honestly what happens is well A
3329
02:36:24.809 --> 02:36:27.909
you get some square footage you get a nanny and
3330
02:36:27.930 --> 02:36:29.829
you get a lock on your bedroom door I've been
3331
02:36:29.889 --> 02:36:34.149
saying this a fucking million times get a lock on
3332
02:36:34.170 --> 02:36:36.610
that bedroom door I do not want to horrify my
3333
02:36:36.690 --> 02:36:40.420
kids my exposing them to the back of my sack
3334
02:36:42.340 --> 02:36:43.760
I don't even want to see the back of my
3335
02:36:43.780 --> 02:36:49.809
sack you know to be honest you don't have as
3336
02:36:49.909 --> 02:36:54.409
much time for the intimate moments and that's the bad
3337
02:36:54.469 --> 02:36:58.090
news is by intimate moments you mean masturbating beating off
3338
02:36:58.129 --> 02:37:02.819
in the sink downstairs but the good part is you're
3339
02:37:02.829 --> 02:37:05.850
both so fucking tired you don't give a shit We're
3340
02:37:05.889 --> 02:37:14.840
passing a 84 Toyota extended cab long bed with a
3341
02:37:14.940 --> 02:37:21.280
primer fender that is fucking filled with refrigerators. And by cracky,
3342
02:37:21.319 --> 02:37:24.350
that guy's going to stay in the left lane. He
3343
02:37:24.430 --> 02:37:27.290
will stay in that fucking left lane if it kills him.
3344
02:37:27.649 --> 02:37:30.840
He's just been passed by 30 fucking four. other cars,
3345
02:37:31.200 --> 02:37:33.889
but he will not move out of that left lane.
3346
02:37:34.729 --> 02:37:39.610
I mean, we're going up a hill. He's driving a
3347
02:37:39.629 --> 02:37:46.530
30-year-old Toyota truck that is filled with... durable goods and
3348
02:37:46.770 --> 02:37:49.479
it is a piece of shit and he is fucking
3349
02:37:49.590 --> 02:37:52.299
sticking in that left lane and by the way this
3350
02:37:52.440 --> 02:37:57.520
car just wept a drop of transmission fluid as it
3351
02:37:57.579 --> 02:38:01.719
passed because this car comes from a land that if
3352
02:38:01.780 --> 02:38:05.059
you're going 170 miles an hour and you're in the
3353
02:38:05.120 --> 02:38:08.120
left lane and somebody comes up on you you're getting
3354
02:38:08.159 --> 02:38:11.360
a fucking ticket you don't ride in the left lane
3355
02:38:11.659 --> 02:38:15.219
unless you're passing somebody It must be nice to come
3356
02:38:15.239 --> 02:38:17.979
from a fucking culture that has a passing lane.
3357
02:38:18.399 --> 02:38:18.620
Yeah.
3358
02:38:18.700 --> 02:38:22.629
Remember when we were driving out here, Mike? Remember when...
3359
02:38:23.489 --> 02:38:27.430
August was piloting the vehicle, and we got behind that
3360
02:38:27.590 --> 02:38:31.969
douchebag in the Nissan Sentra. Oh, yeah. And Mike, like,
3361
02:38:32.110 --> 02:38:35.270
the guy was just doing 63 miles an hour in
3362
02:38:35.290 --> 02:38:38.549
the left lane, and Mike came up behind him in
3363
02:38:38.590 --> 02:38:43.750
the Autobahn Cruiser, and he flashed him the fucking xenon
3364
02:38:43.809 --> 02:38:47.909
high beams, and the guy sat there, and he let
3365
02:38:47.930 --> 02:38:50.049
a half mile go, and he flashed him the fucking
3366
02:38:50.069 --> 02:38:54.069
high beams again. And the motherfucker did not budge. And
3367
02:38:54.120 --> 02:38:56.690
eventually we did a dangerous move where we pulled out
3368
02:38:56.729 --> 02:38:58.430
to the right and then pulled in front of him.
3369
02:38:58.809 --> 02:39:01.850
And every car was just pulling out around him. And
3370
02:39:01.889 --> 02:39:04.610
he was just fucking stuck there. And I just sit
3371
02:39:04.629 --> 02:39:07.059
there all the time and I go, is this comfortable
3372
02:39:07.139 --> 02:39:10.319
for you? To be in the left lane in your
3373
02:39:10.379 --> 02:39:13.620
piece of shit Sentra and have a guy's xenon lights
3374
02:39:13.899 --> 02:39:17.540
up your ass and flashing the fucking high beams. And
3375
02:39:17.559 --> 02:39:20.760
I'm going, do you enjoy this process? What's in it?
3376
02:39:21.750 --> 02:39:25.469
Mike our third book what's in it for you I
3377
02:39:25.530 --> 02:39:28.110
want to know other than just being a general douche
3378
02:39:28.290 --> 02:39:31.250
fuck what is in it for you gave us the
3379
02:39:31.370 --> 02:39:34.290
stink eye when we made the pass move how dare
3380
02:39:34.329 --> 02:39:37.479
you and look to be fair to him and I
3381
02:39:37.510 --> 02:39:40.520
don't want to be fair to him but the posted
3382
02:39:40.540 --> 02:39:44.280
speed limit was 65 and he was going 68 so
3383
02:39:44.319 --> 02:39:47.180
his thing was fuck you and it's like I don't
3384
02:39:47.260 --> 02:39:50.059
care everyone behind you is doing 80 and you move
3385
02:39:50.100 --> 02:39:51.319
the fuck over yeah.
3386
02:39:52.350 --> 02:39:55.850
By the way, General Douchefuck was my favorite Civil War general.
3387
02:39:55.870 --> 02:40:01.059
Yes. Yes, we've all seen the statue. I'm sorry. I'm
3388
02:40:01.100 --> 02:40:08.819
going to apply the break here. All right. I've got
3389
02:40:08.940 --> 02:40:13.129
an 18-wheeler over here. Okay. Oh, I've got to piss.
3390
02:40:14.770 --> 02:40:18.110
All right, let's keep going. All right. Paul Desmond asks.
3391
02:40:18.659 --> 02:40:23.440
Have you ever had a paranormal experience like ghosts, Sasquatch, aliens,
3392
02:40:23.540 --> 02:40:24.700
or psychic activity?
3393
02:40:26.260 --> 02:40:30.809
I was laying in my hotel bed last night, and
3394
02:40:30.850 --> 02:40:36.469
it felt like someone was massaging my feet. That was August. Oh.
3395
02:40:38.270 --> 02:40:41.809
Now that... Oh, he's trying to get to my wallet.
3396
02:40:41.850 --> 02:40:44.989
I'm going to sleep so I can get to my wallet. Um.
3397
02:40:46.930 --> 02:40:49.540
It was weird because I was watching one of those
3398
02:40:50.020 --> 02:40:55.959
commercials for this, like, celebrity... Celebrity ghost stories. Boy, by
3399
02:40:56.000 --> 02:41:00.020
the way, are they fucking scraping the fucking bottom of
3400
02:41:00.059 --> 02:41:03.040
the barrel with what they call... You're talking about guys
3401
02:41:03.059 --> 02:41:05.219
done dancing with the stars with six people I've never
3402
02:41:05.260 --> 02:41:11.500
heard of. But at this point... And, you know, we've all... Wow,
3403
02:41:11.520 --> 02:41:15.030
it's a fucking huge owl just flew right in front
3404
02:41:15.049 --> 02:41:21.430
of our car. This is Susan Olsen. Yeah. This is
3405
02:41:21.450 --> 02:41:29.159
the Brady Bunch Susan Olsen talking about her fucking paranormal activity.
3406
02:41:29.420 --> 02:41:34.260
And I'm sorry, Susan Olsen, you are officially not a celebrity.
3407
02:41:34.340 --> 02:41:39.190
It has been 38 years since you last stood in
3408
02:41:39.250 --> 02:41:42.579
front of a camera. When they weren't asking you questions
3409
02:41:42.680 --> 02:41:46.969
about ghostly encounters. And I was just laying there in
3410
02:41:46.989 --> 02:41:51.610
my hotel room, and I was feeling a presence. Like,
3411
02:41:51.629 --> 02:41:54.090
they always go, I could feel... It's always crazy people
3412
02:41:54.110 --> 02:41:55.530
who can feel people in the room.
3413
02:41:55.729 --> 02:41:55.909
Yeah.
3414
02:41:56.010 --> 02:42:01.629
But I was feeling a presence, like, literally massage my feet,
3415
02:42:02.170 --> 02:42:05.229
and then I realized I had some tape around my
3416
02:42:05.329 --> 02:42:09.090
feet that... It's a long fucking story. Don't get me
3417
02:42:09.149 --> 02:42:14.270
fucking started, but... I have this guy and he's like
3418
02:42:14.450 --> 02:42:19.670
my buddy, personal trainer, whatever. And once a month he
3419
02:42:19.719 --> 02:42:22.180
comes over to my house and he fucking cracks my
3420
02:42:22.260 --> 02:42:25.659
back and gives me an alignment. Sometimes he holds the
3421
02:42:25.739 --> 02:42:28.819
focus pads. His name's Kelly Carter and he's a cool guy.
3422
02:42:29.600 --> 02:42:33.649
Does this shit and once in a while he'll just
3423
02:42:33.909 --> 02:42:38.290
bust out. the acupuncture, they'll just bust out the acupuncture
3424
02:42:38.370 --> 02:42:40.870
needles and just start fucking sticking them in me, you know,
3425
02:42:41.430 --> 02:42:44.840
and it's cool, and listen, I'm, you know me, I'm not,
3426
02:42:45.020 --> 02:42:48.180
I'm not into, you know, I'm not into the, you know,
3427
02:42:48.459 --> 02:42:50.700
colonics and all that shit, but I can tell you,
3428
02:42:51.459 --> 02:42:54.799
once a month, laying down, having a guy crack your back,
3429
02:42:55.329 --> 02:42:58.010
pull your spine a little bit, stretch you out, put
3430
02:42:58.030 --> 02:43:01.579
a couple acupuncture needles in your ass, it's nice, it
3431
02:43:01.590 --> 02:43:04.420
feels good, you feel better when you're done, so I'm
3432
02:43:04.479 --> 02:43:07.930
lying there, I'm in like my workout room, and it's hot,
3433
02:43:08.000 --> 02:43:10.360
all the windows are open, I'm fucking on my back,
3434
02:43:10.479 --> 02:43:14.520
and he's, you know, telling him, stressed out, I'm gonna
3435
02:43:14.569 --> 02:43:16.309
go on the road, I got a lot of shit
3436
02:43:16.350 --> 02:43:19.969
to do, and it's just, just feeling, just been on
3437
02:43:20.010 --> 02:43:23.409
the road, going on the road, just a lot of airports, it's,
3438
02:43:24.360 --> 02:43:26.549
feeling the stress of life and I'm fucking laying there
3439
02:43:27.270 --> 02:43:29.709
and he can't hear me because my gardener's in the
3440
02:43:29.770 --> 02:43:33.110
courtyard with the leaf blower he's just fucking blowing that
3441
02:43:33.149 --> 02:43:35.450
thing and we're trying to have this conversation with my
3442
02:43:35.489 --> 02:43:38.450
fucking gardener who I've told don't use the leaf blower
3443
02:43:38.500 --> 02:43:41.000
anymore it's just fucking blowing away so in the middle
3444
02:43:41.020 --> 02:43:45.100
of my acupuncture session while Enya's playing I gotta yell
3445
02:43:45.120 --> 02:43:48.280
at Kelly because I can't move Go run in the house,
3446
02:43:48.360 --> 02:43:50.700
yell at Jay to yell to Jermaine to shut the
3447
02:43:50.840 --> 02:43:59.059
fucking leaf blower off. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. X-Man. Speaking of X-Man,
3448
02:43:59.200 --> 02:44:10.489
there's some X happening on the first wave. There's not
3449
02:44:10.780 --> 02:44:12.149
one instrument in this song.
3450
02:44:12.190 --> 02:44:12.569
No. No.
3451
02:44:15.600 --> 02:44:23.510
What is that fucking thing, that 80s British moan rock? Like, weird, whiny, gay,
3452
02:44:23.610 --> 02:44:28.969
complain rock, you know? Like, never before was what you
3453
02:44:29.049 --> 02:44:33.989
said the time before. You know, like, shut the fuck up.
3454
02:44:35.690 --> 02:44:40.969
Never again. I'm happy to say I don't know this song.
3455
02:44:40.989 --> 02:44:41.110
Yeah.
3456
02:44:43.530 --> 02:44:51.209
But what is that fucking Jacinto, just British complainy, like, just...
3457
02:44:53.129 --> 02:44:58.600
Is Depeche Mode the king of the fucking moan rock? Oh,
3458
02:44:58.700 --> 02:45:00.100
shut the fuck up.
3459
02:45:00.420 --> 02:45:00.620
And.
3460
02:45:04.819 --> 02:45:07.459
This isn't music. If you have a fucking laptop, you
3461
02:45:07.479 --> 02:45:16.450
can do this. Mm-hmm. Oh, shit. Shut up. So you
3462
02:45:16.750 --> 02:45:22.309
were starting to segue into paranormal experiences. Oh, yeah. No, never.
3463
02:45:23.209 --> 02:45:27.079
And the reason why is, it's a pretty simple reason. A,
3464
02:45:27.120 --> 02:45:31.219
I'm from North Hollywood, and B, I'm sane. And O, C,
3465
02:45:31.280 --> 02:45:35.520
I'm not a chick. This only happens to nutty broads,
3466
02:45:36.069 --> 02:45:38.610
and it never happens to anyone in North Hollywood.
3467
02:45:40.329 --> 02:45:43.239
I've seen that promo, that Susan Olsen, you know, celebrity
3468
02:45:43.260 --> 02:45:45.659
ghost story promo that you're talking about, and she says.
3469
02:45:45.680 --> 02:45:49.579
I felt this force holding my shoulders down, and I
3470
02:45:49.639 --> 02:45:52.100
couldn't get out. It's like, oh, you're recovering a memory
3471
02:45:52.120 --> 02:45:56.069
of molestation. That's what that is. That's Uncle Bob. Yeah,
3472
02:45:56.090 --> 02:45:58.250
what about the force that's been holding your career back
3473
02:45:58.329 --> 02:46:02.729
for 40 years? That's... You better burn some sage for
3474
02:46:02.750 --> 02:46:07.670
that shit, bitch. All right. Now I feel a force
3475
02:46:07.770 --> 02:46:11.030
on my bladder. Yeah, we're coming to the hour mark,
3476
02:46:11.110 --> 02:46:13.399
or maybe even past it at this point, so let's
3477
02:46:13.670 --> 02:46:18.399
wrap up with Oscar... I can't read your last name.
3478
02:46:18.840 --> 02:46:22.899
But you're asking, Oscar Moncada is asking if Adam is
3479
02:46:22.940 --> 02:46:24.579
a member of the Mile High Club.
3480
02:46:26.239 --> 02:46:31.989
Oh, no, no. I've never had sex. I don't think
3481
02:46:32.010 --> 02:46:34.969
I've ever even had sex in Denver. We were on
3482
02:46:35.010 --> 02:46:38.610
the road and I beat off in Denver last week. Right, Mike?
3483
02:46:39.739 --> 02:46:39.930
Yes.
3484
02:46:40.219 --> 02:46:45.280
Yes, he's asleep. That counts. I'm going to count beating
3485
02:46:45.479 --> 02:46:49.750
off in your hotel room in Denver as being a
3486
02:46:49.780 --> 02:46:52.389
member of the Mile High Club. All right? I mean,
3487
02:46:52.430 --> 02:46:56.370
you know, maybe that's, you know, maybe it's... It's like
3488
02:46:56.450 --> 02:46:58.450
saying you hit a home run, but it was an
3489
02:46:58.500 --> 02:47:01.520
inside to Parker. Like the right fielder didn't handle the
3490
02:47:01.579 --> 02:47:04.959
ball right. He missed the cutoff. And then the cutoff
3491
02:47:05.040 --> 02:47:08.620
overthrew home plate. But either way, it goes down in
3492
02:47:08.639 --> 02:47:10.760
the book as a home run. You beat off on
3493
02:47:10.799 --> 02:47:14.190
a technicality. That is a very good note to go
3494
02:47:14.209 --> 02:47:18.610
out on. And on that note, we'd like to thank
3495
02:47:18.649 --> 02:47:21.700
you for listening to this review. episode where we drive
3496
02:47:22.639 --> 02:47:27.629
literally through the night back to Los Angeles, where hopefully
3497
02:47:27.670 --> 02:47:34.680
we'll arrive somewhere around 4.30 p.m. Jesus Christ. We'll figure
3498
02:47:34.719 --> 02:47:37.600
it out. So, until next time, this is Adam Perla,
3499
02:47:38.020 --> 02:47:47.399
Mike Lynch, and Napping Mike August saying, Mahalo. All right,
3500
02:47:47.440 --> 02:47:48.540
that does it for today's Perla Classics.
3501
02:47:48.579 --> 02:47:50.319
Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all-new installment.
3502
02:47:50.479 --> 02:47:52.329
Until then, Mahalo and get it on.
3503
02:48:17.219 --> 02:48:17.459
Never.